Thoughts While Watching Gilmore Girls, Season 2, Episode 11 ("Secrets & Loans"), Part 1
Read my previous commentary here.
I wouldn't call this episode 100% midseason filler. Maybe like 80%. Rory and Lorelai get into a fight which is something new and different but all of the other events in the episode are pretty inconsequential. I've seen the show a few times and had zero memory of this episode. Rory wears cute pajamas, Lorelai interrupts Sookie & Jackson's sex games, Dean throws a basketball at Rory.
Rory has the most enviable pajama collection.
Me stepping onto my porch, breathing in the chill winter air, and sitting down to come up with a thousand more creative ways for Dean Forrester to die. Since this episode's theme is insect related, maybe a swarm of something could descend on the Forrester household and carry him away.
Kirk Job: Pest Control.
Louise bemoans the absence of Jeremy, who hasn't returned her calls since they had sex in the school's supply closet.
Rory meanwhile remains unfucked and unfazed while she enjoys her favorite meal, the Prison Cafeteria Special, two slices of plain white bread with nothing in between.
The Chiltoners are taking their PSAT's. Not very exciting stuff.
Paris attempts to pry Rory's test scores out of her which leads to a not at all sexually tense exchange of words with Paris trying to gauge whether or not Rory is "the type of person who finds happiness in looking at a sunset".
Can we compare the way Rory looks at Paris versus the way she looks at her boyfriend?
Like night and day.
If at the end of the day “team (whoever)” just means the person who should be Rory’s endgame then I’m Team Paris and not Team Jess.
To escape the termites, Lorelai flees with Rory to Sookie's house where Lorelai does what she does best, interrupts a sexual encounter, forcing Sookie to shove Jackson into a closet in order to spare Rory the trauma of witnessing their unholy sex games.
The running tally on jokes about sex & closets are at least three total in this show with two of them in the last 5 minutes.
Quick, which Gilmore Girls character is she talking about?
Yeah, Lorelai definitely interrupted some kind of kinky sex game.
Anyone else think Sookie has a pretty crappy kitchen for a professional chef?
Let's pause for an Ancient Technology Break (ATB)
Lorelai says that if Paris and Emily were to ever share the same room the world would implode, which led me down a pointless ADHD sidequest to find evidence of Paris and Emily meeting on the show at some point, I immediately thought of Season 6 Episode 5 ("We've Got Magic To Do") only to find that Paris stays in the kitchen at that goofy DAR party the whole time while Emily is outside, but I'm counting it. Any experts want to weigh in? I've mostly blacked out seasons 5-7 anyway.
Anyhoo, Rory fucks everything up at FND by blurting out that Lorelai doesn't have enough money to remedy her termite problem, so Emily tries to cut her a check, so Lor's pride is hella bruised because she told Rory she didn't want to ask for money from her parents, and now she is reaaaaal mad at Rory. Angry at Rory on a level I have not seen in the last 1 and half seasons.
Just spitballing here but with Stars Hollow love of shindigs and The Gilmores I don't see why SH couldn't throw together another fundraiser, you know, like "Save the Gilmore House" or a "Squash A Bug Festival". Kirk could do an interpretive dance in a termite costume while people pitched dollar bills at him. I guess that would hurt Lorelai's pride though.
Just gotta say Lauren Graham's "angry" acting is sooo extra, it's so over the top sometimes that it's funny.
Sure her angry confronation with Rory in this episode is no "Teach Me Tonight" (that's just around the corner, actually, and I will NOT be watching it), but she's getting ready and warming up her vocal chords.
Dean thows a basketball at Rory's head and misses but she is unfazed.
Something something, swarm of angry insects, carrying him away to their lair to be sarcificed to their Queen, etc etc.
Okay Deano, the next time someone tries to throw a basketball at her when she's not looking I'm sure she'll try her best to sound more sane when she questions why they did it.
Basketball=not acceptable.
Disgusting Lay's salt & vinegar chips=This is still acceptable.
This poor girl cannot sit on a step and read without someone throwing something at her.
Rory explains to Dean that she got into a fight with her mother and as usual he is full of loving and helpful advice and was totally listening to her and not thinking about Battlebots or stocking cans of corn or Naked Lorelai the whole time. Or whatever he daydreams about.
D: I was just trying to say that with all of the amazing, wonderful qualities that you and your mother share...
Number 1, PROJECTILE VOMIT, number 2, the only quality you admire in both of them is that you want to see them both naked at some point.
"You and your mother tend to dig your heels in. You'll make up." is his helpful contribution to this situation, and Rory is super duper appreciative.
Sadly he was talking about a basketball and not his genitals, which would have spared the world from him reproducing.
Sometimes I hear things on this show that floor me because they are so unbelievably dirty, I can't imagine how they ever slipped past the censors and made it onto this squeaky clean WB network show in the year of our lord 2001.
Lorelai is getting desperate to convince a bank to give her a loan. Michel first suggests Lorelai perform a lap dance, then when she shoots that down he says "Women in Thailand do this thing with a pingpong ball that is a real crowd pleaser."
Yes, I know what he is talking about. If you don't, google at your own risk. Or just use context clues. Whatever you prefer.
Dave's father works at a bank huh?
I like you guys, my dear readers, so I don't know why I'd constantly subject you to the horrors that are Dean & Rory's dry sandpaper makeouts. I guess I just don't want to suffer alone.
LMAO, they really tried to make the "Keep Thinking What You're Thinking" Jess and Rory Kiss In Front of Luke's Diner happen with Dean and Rory first. That was hilarious!
Rory questions Lane's decision to join the cheerleading squad, which makes total sense because Rory loves it when people pick on her for enjoying the things she loves, like reading, being a virgin, or eating French toast with her bare hands.
Rory asks Lane why she never told her she joined the squad, and it's because Lane is very wise and knew Rory would be a judgemental bitch about it. And welp. She wasn't wrong.
I don't know Janie Fertman, but I'm appointing myself her defense lawyer and declaring my client innocent, because if Rory hates her then I know her only crimes were likely being too pretty/ popular/ sexually experienced/ and or/ getting in the way of some boy Rory had a crush on. In other words, Jamie got the Shane treatment.
Ran out of space, part 2 in the next post, you know the drill.
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Thinking about the crew of my space opera story. I'm not going to use the crew I used for all my OTHER space stories (with some modifications) because that's more of a family than a crew, and the idea is that this is a business crew that slowly grows into something more. So the basic crew is:
The captain/pilot who is a human from one of the ancient relativist clans (of Argentine descent of course), who is the serious and at the same time emotional (porteño amargado) captain.
The engineer, who is a cactus like dude who communicates by signals and shapes on their leaves. Distant and sarcastic.
The ancient princess from an extinct shark civilization who they found in suspended animation. Seems spoiled and evasive at first, but has secrets and such.
Now the thing is that it's only the dude and the cactus at first and they are bored until the princess shows up... however, navigating through the aether in this setting is a bit like flying through a storm of dark matter and energy. You have to be 24/7 alert, and what happens when he has to sleep? The engineer doesn't sleep because he's a cactus, but he can't also work all the time. You need people who do shifts.
Which makes me wonder what happened when Han and Chewbacca needed to take a nap.
On the other hand in real life (unfortunately) people in transport tend to sleep very little (these guys are literal space truckers) but I doubt even the most lax spaceport regulations would allow 24-hour shifts. It cuts a little into the "it was only these two guys until the princess showed up" theme, but I'll have to make a crew, at least 3 more.
On the other other hand, it would be funny in a fail way that these two guys were maintaining the whole thing themselves. The captain has to do the paperwork, so the engineer has to make the food for the passengers, and since the captain was busy loading the freight by himself and he broke his back, he forgot to buy those prepackaged lunches. So, it's boiled potatoes for everyone. Humans love that, right?
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Thoughts While Watching Gilmore Girls, Season 2, Episode 11 ("Secrets & Loans") Part II
Read all of my previous commentary here.
LOL, this is a real "Everyone Hates Rory" episode. Lane is miffed that she has to justify her decision to become a cheerleader to Rory, and storms off.
*do not make a joke about Luke crawling into Lorelai's hole do not make a joke about...*
These Danes men are just made of money.
Luke provides Lorelai an extremely generous offer and of course she doesn't accept. Honestly her pride is infuriating.
Well he may have just thrown a basketball at his girlfriend's face, but at least he's down from 14 calls a day to two.
Emily has set up a meeting for Lorelai at the bank where she has a connection with a loan offcer despite Lorelai's objections and predictably when Lorelai visits the bank and sees Emily this does not go over well.
Yeah, that.
Lorelai says Emily can't help butting in where she doesn't belong. Oh, that's rich coming from you Lor. The Butting-In Queen. Your Royal Butting-In-Ness. Your Butting-In-Majesty.
Let's summarize the next scene real quickly: Lorelai asks the loan officer to not treat her like an extension of her mother, which he does, Emily keeps her mouth shut as she promised, Lorelai is turned down for the loan, Lorelai is told she can only get the loan by having it co-signed so Lorelai swallows her pride and turns to Emily who agrees to do it and Lorelai doubts her motives and is predictably rude and ungrateful.
Shoulda just taken Luke's offer, dude. You'll be paying him back with Nature's Credit Card in a few years anyway and he'd eventually forgive your monetary debt.
Moving on.
Stars Hollow High School is holding a pep rally and Taylor Doose has something to do with it for some reason.
Rory's such a rebel not wearing red.
Let's take a quick "Where's Jess?" break.
Where's Jess?
"Uniforms paid for by the citizens of Stars Hollow." Your tax dollars at work, citizens. Aren't those the outfits they wore in Squid Game?
It's that time again. Time for Lorelai to give Rory another bizarre "Mom Advice" speech.
Lorelai doesn’t apologize for raising her voice at Rory earlier, instead she blames Rory for "interfering" by bringing up Lorelai's financial woes in front of Emily, even though through Rory's well meaning social blunder she eventually got the loan she needed to fix their house (and turned down another loan with far fewer strings attached because she just can't swallow her fucking pride). She tells Rory that she needs to butt out of her decision making and respect her authoritah because she's the child and Lorelai's the mother and she should be grateful that Lorelai feeds and clothes and shelters her. Oookayyy. This is just a strange thing to be telling your child.
Like that Jess stopped showing up to school?
In a somewhat surprising turn of events, Lorelai sincerely apologizes to Emily for being ungrateful and Emily sincerely accepts and all is hunky dory. The end.
Another episode with no Jess, but The Agonies are a-coming.
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Top 5 Loan Secrets Every Borrower Needs to Know
Life would be a whole lot easier if we never had to be in debt and if, magically, we always had access to a substantial sum of money whenever we needed it. However, since the chances of never having to take a loan are slim, it’s important to know how to manage and maximize the loans we get. Here are the top 5 loan secrets every borrower needs to know. Trust me—you’ll manage your loans better once…
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