#Sorry I Am Already Taken By A Sexy And Crazy Tattooed Girl | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

chuckbass-love · 4 years

Note

Fic where Chris accidentally gets a girl pregnant( could be a random girl he’s sleeping with or maybe a friend, up to you) he’s super freaked out and tells his mom and family for advice on what to do. But they reprimand him first

Hi lovely anon...

So i received two requests about pregnancy with Chris. One of which is this one and the second is Chris as a teen getting a girl pregnant so i’ll do both as separate fics. This one as adult Chris and the other as it was requested.

I’m sorry to the anon who requested this since i’ve taken a long time to write it. But i hope the wait has been worth it after you read.

Disclaimer: My work is not to be posted anywhere else other than my Tumblr, Wattpad and Ao3 without my permission. However, reblogs are welcome.

Pairing: Chris Evans x Fem!Reader

Warning: Smut! Sex, vaginal fingering, oral (f receiving), pregnancy reveal, swearing and fluff.18+

Word Count: 5,061

GIF NOT MINE!!! Credit to @jckcriley go check them out❤️

Unexpected

“W-what?” you can’t help but almost choke on your beer as the unexpected words leave your friend of 6 years mouth.

“You heard me” he smirks, sipping on his own beer and leaning back on the couch. His eyes remain locked on yours.

“Chris, maybe you’ve had a bit too much to drink” you giggle, reaching over to take his drink but he pulls it out of the way so you can’t “I’m practically sober, Y/N. You mean to tell me you’ve never thought of me that way?” he raises a brow at you, the one look that always has you secretly wanting to jump his bones.

Sure he’s your friend and has been for 6 years but that doesn’t mean you’ve never had sexual thoughts and fantasies about him. Thoughts and fantasies that have been intruding your rational side for as long as you can remember. But you got used to the friend zone and you have no one else to blame but yourself for remaining there.

Whenever Chris has been single, you’ve been tempted to swoop in and admit your feelings but quickly aborted that mission, refusing to put yourself in a position to be rejected.

And now, he’s sat in front of you at your house admitting that he’s always had a crush on you. You’re shocked and it shows.

Your silence to his question and your failure to keep eye contact gives you away. Why does he have to make you so nervous?

“You have, haven’t you?” he closes the gap between the two of you, taking your beer from you and placing both his and yours on the coffee table before turning your head so that his lustful eyes meet your shy ones.

He doesn’t miss the way your breathing hitches at the feel of his lips grazing across yours without kissing you and he certainly doesn’t miss the way you shiver at the feel of his thick digits dancing down your right arm slowly.

“Chris” you whine, in hopes that he’d just give in and kiss you already. After all, it’s been a long time coming. But instead he lowers his head to your shoulder, pressing a chaste kiss to the exposed skin before moving to your ear. His breath fans your earlobe and his beard tickles your skin “what is it baby?” his whispering has you gasping, more so at the intimate nickname than anything else.

“We shouldn’t do this, it’ll ruin our-”

“What? Our friendship? Well i’m down for that if you are” he licks your earlobe, biting it a little too.

Again, your breath hitches and your heart skips more than just a beat as his lips are now inches from your own and the beer fills yours nose.

Before you even have a chance to stop it, his soft lips meet yours. Moving in sync, almost as if they were made to kiss. His beard yet again tickles your skin, no doubt it’s gonna leave a burn all over after he’s finished with you.

It takes a couple of seconds for you to realise what’s going on but when you do, you let go and it’s incredible. Your arms wrap around his neck loosely and he pulls you onto his lap so that you’re straddling him.

A quick break for a breath of fresh air is taken before going back to it, the two of you going at it more like life long lovers than old friends. You can’t help but wonder if you’re the only friend of his he’s had these kinds of feelings towards. Or if you’re the only one full stop.

“Wait” you push him away slowly, looking right into his eyes “am i the only one?” your question has his brows furrowing in confusion.

“What?” his chuckle leads you to smile “am i the only friend you find attractive? The only friend you’ve thought about in this way?”

“Yes”

And you believe him.

“I never thought i could pursue anything because of the way we are together. The nicknames, the way you act like one of the guys. I just didn’t think it was ever a possibility”

He’s saying all of the right things and right here, right now. You don’t wanna second guess him, so you pull him back to you, kissing him like your life depends on it.

And he just reciprocates the same energy but with a twist. His hands find their way to your ass cheeks underneath your tennis skirt. He gives your soft globes a little squeeze, earning an excited squeal from you which only turns him on more.

“God this skirt. It drives me crazy every time you wear it” he groans as his kisses turn to open mouthed ones along your jawline and down your neck to your sweet spot.

You gotta admit, you could say the same thing to him about his body. Whenever his shirts are open a little to reveal his chest and his tattoos or whenever his biceps bulge out of the shirt sleeves. You feel your legs turn to jelly and it’s hard to play it cool.

“I need you” you blurt out, causing him to take action. He spins you around quicker than you can even keep up with. Your legs are spread apart and now the only thing stopping him from ruining your tight cunt is the thin piece of cotton covering it. Not for long though.

“Oh yeah, how do you need me baby?” his hands graze your inner thighs and more arousal soaks your panties “I need you to touch me” you beg and your head falls back, resting on his shoulder. You look up at him before closing your eyes as you feel the pads of his fingers press down on your bundle of nerves.

“What, like this?” his mouth begins to suck on your neck, no doubt leaving marks for everyone to see tomorrow.

All you can muster is a lazily mumbled “mhmm yes” and that’s all he needs to reach his hands inside. The way his fingers run through your folds before circling your dripping hole is like a feeling you’ve never experienced. Probably because the one and only time you’ve ever been intimate with someone was the quick rubbing of your clit and missionary. Hardly adventurous.

Chris however, has experience. And there’s obviously a reason Minka and Jenny went back for more, right?

Or at least you assume so. Plus many drunken conversations with Jenny gave away some details that at the time had you jealous as fuck. But now, you’re aching with the anticipation of what’s to come tonight.

For example. One party that Chris hosted. You and Jenny were bonding over tequila.

Tara left the group just as she got into it and you can’t say you blamed her at the time. Tara and Chris are best friends and it would be weird for her to take an interest in his sex life shenanigans.

But since you and Chris have only ever been friends, not best friends, you stuck around. If you hadn’t then god knows who Jenny would have told.

She was practically drooling over the sight of him across the room, starting the conversation with a simple “how sexy is he?” almost like she expected you to agree, which you didn’t. Despite agreeing in your head of course.

“Oh you should have seen him last night Y/N, that mouth of his. Jesus. He was like an animal. I’ve never cum so many times from oral”

The memory in itself has you moaning and bucking your hips up into his hand, yearning for more.

His hand pulls from your panties and his fingers hook into the sides of them. He lifts your legs with one hand as his other slides them down and off, discarding them halfway across the room. Not that you care where they land.

The way his arms wrap around both of your thighs, parting your legs whilst they reach down to rub firm circles on your aching and needy pussy, is almost like he’s wanted this as long as you have. Which of course is most likely true since he’s already admitted to crushing on you secretly.

“Please, Chris, i need it” your impatient self can’t control the hunger, but he has other plans.

“All in good time, let me take care of you Y/N”

His thick digits circle your hole once again before two of them slip inside without even a single warning. You’re not used to the feeling but after a couple of pumps in and out, he starts curling them against that familiar spongy spot which makes you forget the stretch you experienced just seconds ago.

Now everything that Jenny said makes sense.

“Fuck, yes. Don’t stop” your hand grips his wrist as you start to grind your hips in circles, wanting to feel the palm of his hand against you throbbing clit. And with your impending first orgasm of many to come, you can’t help but arch your back.

“Gonna cum already, huh? Come on baby, cum for me” he eggs, a third finger adding to the equation. Just what you needed to fall off the cliff in his arms. Your legs shake and your breathing quickens “just like that baby, cum all over these fingers” and you do.

Your arousal drips down his fingers, making the mess he urged you to.

Once he rides you through your high, he pulls out, lifting them to his mouth and the second they come into contact with each other, he’s slurping and sucking them clean.

The sight itself is probably enough to make you cum all over again but before you can, he’s manoeuvring you so that he’s carrying you into your bedroom and laying you down.

More clothes are tossed onto the floor until the two of you are in nothing but your birthday suits and you gotta say, his size is more than impressive.

“Such a beautiful body, might have to keep you like this all the time” he smirks, hovering above you, his huge biceps either side of your head. He lowers his head down so he can capture your lips in a quick but passionate kiss and you can tell this isn’t just a quick hook up to him. Or at least, that’s the way it seems.

You hope.

His lips linger for a couple of seconds before they lower to the valley between your breasts and he inhales your scent instantly, breathing you in like the smoke from a cigarette.

“Smell so good baby. Always smell so good” his fingers tweak at your nipples as the kisses continue, moving lower and lower until he’s face to face with your cunt.

It’s only natural for you to expect some kind of teasing from him but he takes you by surprise by devouring you like a 3 course meal with no feather like touches or dirty talk to get you to beg for his filthy mouth.

“And you taste good too, always knew you would”

The words have you covering your face and the feel of his head shaking on you has you closing your legs on it. The scratching of his beard on your thighs is both awful and incredible all at once. You just simply can’t get enough, running your fingers through his messed up locks and grinding your pussy on his tongue as he sticks it out for you to use as much as you like.

“Gonna make this sweet pussy cum once more before i fuck it, that okay, baby?”

No words are needed, he knows you want it. So he dives back in, spreading your pussy folds and blowing air on your clit before his lips wrap around it for him to suck.

"Cum on my tongue baby, i know you can, give it to me, let me get another taste” he coos and you find your body shaking.

Seconds later, after his words of encouragement and his tongue fucking you. You release for the second time tonight, all over his skilful tongue. You prop yourself up onto your elbows to watch as he makes sure no drop is wasted before he kisses his way back up to you.

As soon as his tongue slips into your mouth, battling with yours, you can taste your sweet arousal and it drives you crazy.

You wrap your legs around his waist and he buries his face in the crook of your neck as he lines himself up “you sure you wanna do this?” he asks, pulling away to look at you, unsure on whether you truly want this but why wouldn’t you want this?

“Chris, i’m sure” you convince, cupping his face with both hands and all of a sudden your pussy is stretching to accommodate his size as he slides home with no pauses to get you used to it. You knew the moment that you saw his cock that it would hurt a little. But the pain soon subsides and is replaced with pleasure.

His thrusting pace picks up immediately and your legs tighten around him as your urge to have him deeper consumes you

“Shit” he grunts, hissing at the feel of your warm walls fluttering around him perfectly, he can’t say this is anything like his many fantasies because the honest truth is it isn’t. It’s better, way better.

Having you underneath him, panting and moaning like he’s always dreamed makes him think heaven is right here with you. A place on earth.

“Taking this cock so well baby, feel good huh?” his voice raspy and gentle at the same time even though the way he’s ploughing into you is far from it.

“Yes. God yes. Chris i’m gonna cum” you mewl frantically, feeling your walls clamp down on him hard as if he’ll leave if you don’t. And if you’re being completely honest with yourself, you don’t want to ever be without him now, you want this for life. You’ve come so far, you’re knee deep in feelings for this man and you hope he’s on the same page.

“Fuck. Cum with me baby, i’m right there with you” his grunting and growling turn to moans that could resemble that of a porn star. So hot and like music to your ears.

The room is filled with the sound of his skin slapping against yours and the sounds of pleasure from the two of you merging into one with little sweat droplets adorning both your foreheads.

“Oh fuck, squeeze me again baby”

“Just” thrust “like” thrust “that”

“Chris, don’t stop” you plead as your toes begin to curl, his head drops so his lips can meet yours the second he spots signs of the coil snapping within you.

And when it does, he’s sucking all of the air from your lungs and muffling your moans.

The way your walls spasm around him spurs his own release on, he twitches a couple times before finally releasing inside of you and painting your walls.

Shockwaves rush through you and you still can’t believe you just had sex with your friend.

Maybe it’ll hit you in the morning and you fear the unknown reaction from the man himself. What if he regrets it? What if you do? Whatever happens, you can’t change the results, all you can do is bask in the glory of this moment finally coming to life after a million times where you’ve over thought how this would go down.

He eventually pulls out, falling down to the spot on the bed beside of you, panting too.

“Well that’s certainly not what i expected to happen tonight” you giggle.

Chris has to say, he feels relieved. All those sneaky glances your way and all those nights out where he was dying to kiss you have finally stopped. Because now he doesn’t have to hide it away, you know and you feel the same.

Having you in his arms now as he pulls you to rest your head on his chest after mind blowing and romantic sex. All of your desires have come true.

“Me neither. What does this mean for us now though?” the question you were saving for tomorrow but you’re thanking the lord that he’s asked first.

“I was going to ask the same thing. But i don’t know, i guess if you want to then we could maybe go on a date, see where things go?” he lifts your head up with his finger under your chin and the second your eyes meet, he kisses you hard.

“I’d love to take you out”

“So, that’s a yes?”

He can’t help but laugh nervously “it’s the easiest yes i’ve ever had to give, i can’t wait. But maybe now we should sleep?" before he even finishes talking you’re yawning and closing your eyes.

And with a quick peck on your forehead, you both get under the covers and drift off.

---------------------

*4 weeks later*

A month after your hookup with Chris and you’ve already had your first date.

He invited you to his place where he had a 3 course meal waiting, that he cooked himself.

Quite impressive and it was actually edible which made you suspect that he had Lisa’s help.

Though he would never admit that to you because he wanted to impress and of course he did.

You’ve not seen him all week, only spoke to him over text or FaceTime since he’s been super busy with work. Meetings galore for upcoming projects. You respect that with his career though, this dating business is going to be a lot like your friendship has been. There’s nothing you can do about it but to tell the truth, you’re kinda glad he’s not been around.

It all started last week when you were puking constantly, your boobs were unbelievably sore and the nausea has been out of this world.

The puking has been mostly in the mornings but this morning was the worst. All of these things had you racking your brain, there had to be a reason behind it and when you calculated the days for your period, you realised you were a week late.

So you drove down to the store, picking up some water and snacks as well as a pregnancy test.

The second you returned home, you rushed to the bathroom to take it and let’s just say waiting for the results to show were the longest few minutes of your life. Your legs were shaking as were your hands. When the timer stopped, you took a deep breath before glancing down to meet your fate.

It reads ‘pregnant’ on the clear blue stick.

How the fuck is Chris gonna take this?

The thought alone makes you want to puke so you quickly drop to your knees, spewing your lunch into the toilet.

This is your life well and truly ruined,

-------------------

Chris knocks on your door, waiting patiently for you to answer and let him in. As soon as he sees your exhausted face, his smile fades.

“What’s wrong?” worry fills his voice and it hurts even more.

Yeah sure, he’s 39 and you’re 30. But does he really want a kid this soon with you. You know he wants to be a dad and he has done for a long time. But even so, it’s way too soon. It’ll be like taking 5 giant leaps when you’ve only just admitted to liking one another a couple weeks back.

“Come sit down” your voice monotone and serious, scaring him further.

“Baby?” he asks but you ignore, taking more deep breaths.

“Look, i don’t really know how to go about this and i’m terrified” you gulp, looking away from him and fidgeting in your seat “so for the last week or so i’ve been experiencing some things. Sickness, nausea and my boobs have been hurting and feeling very sore. You know all that already. But this morning was the worst. I puked so much that i almost fainted when i went to stand”

You can practically see his hands shaking too, still refusing to look him in the eye which is driving him insane.

“Y/N please, what is it?” his patience wearing thin.

Here goes nothing.

“I’m pregnant”

Now you look at him, his eyes wide, his mouth open slightly.

“What?”

Not a question that needs an answer as you’re pretty sure he’s just shocked.

“I-I don’t know w-what to say”

“I don’t expect you to say anything, Chris. I won’t blame you if you want to walk away now”

Hearing you say that riles him, he forces you to look at him “listen here, i’m not gonna walk away. No chance. Two of us made this baby and two of us are gonna take care of it”

Even with the confidence he’s showing, you know him well enough to see the act. He’s terrified too. But it’s probably best to not bring it up now.

Tears fall down your face as he pulls you into a hug, wrapping his arms around you. He can sense that you were worried about being deserted.

But that’s never going to happen.

“We’ll get through this together okay?”

“Okay”

--------------------------

Days pass and Chris is getting even more scared. The news still hasn’t full sunk in yet. You’re carrying his child and yet he feels like he’s too immature to do this and in this head space, there’s only so many people that he can turn to.

He thought it would be best to share the news with his family alone first since he’s never been in this position before. He’s watched his sister go through it and obviously his mother went through it 4 times with him and his siblings.

This is something he’s wanted for a long time. He doesn’t want to mess it up. So it’s time to get help.

“Ma, it’s me” he calls out, closing the front door and searching the lounge before he hears her call back “kitchen”

As soon as he enters, he finds his sister Carly helping his mom with lunch.

“How’re you” Carly asks, hugging him but his heavy breathing alerts her.

“Chris?”

“I need advice, i’m freaking out” and now his flustered state is abundantly clear.

“Why what’s happened?”

The pair stop in their tracks, focusing all of their attention onto him and gesturing for him to speak.

“So you know me and Y/N decided to give dating a go” they nod “about time too” Lisa jokes.

“Well, turns out. She’s pregnant” he grits his teeth, watching as they freak out too. With Lisa’s mouth hanging open and Carly’s eyes widening.

“Say something please”

“Chris, how could you let this happen so soon?”

Not the response he was hoping for.

“I-i”

“Did you even use protection?” Lisa’s eyebrows raise before she bows her head once he shakes his.

“Christopher, you’ve only just started dating this girl and she’s already pregnant. I don’t believe this”

“Chris this isn’t easy you know, pregnancy, parenting. It’s hard and are you sure you two are ready to take such a big step so soon?” Carly adds, calming her voice more than what their mom did.

He doesn’t even have an answer for them.

Because he’s most likely not ready, neither are you but is anyone ever ready to be a parent? Probably not.

“It’s sleepless nights, long days of tantrums and melt downs. Loud screaming, refusing to eat and a horrendous amount of dirty and smelly nappies. Can you handle all of that? Can she?”

“Look I’m terrified enough as it is and I know it’s not gonna be easy. That’s why I came here in hopes that you would ease my mind about this” he sighs, sitting down at the breakfast bar and scratching the back of his head with Carly taking a seat on the stool beside him.

“How does Y/N feel about it?”

“Scared too, assumed i was just going to leave but i reassured her it would be okay and that i’d never leave”

A proud mother moment for Lisa, she knows in this moment that she’s done a good job with raising him and all of her kids.

Her life is a constant never ending string of proud mother moments with them. They never cease to amaze her.

“As long as you have us, you’ll be okay but please let this be a lesson to you. Not using protection is so dangerous. Especially when it’s just casual at first, you need to be careful”

They are right. It was reckless too. Drunken nights in with friends that he fancies aren’t the best time for sex.

Even he can admit that.

“Condoms always” Lisa’s index finger in his face has him laughing and nodding frantically “yes ma’am” they all laugh at his remark and eventually he feels the tense atmosphere leave.

He feels like the news has been accepted.

“God your father might actually pass out when he hears this”

“Can we tell him and everyone else over dinner, tonight maybe. I want Y/N to be here when they find out. I only told you guys because i didn’t know who else to turn to”

“You’re gonna make an amazing father Chris. You just need to believe that and you’ll be set. Am i saying parenting is easy? Certainly not but what i am saying is that i have more than enough faith in you to do this right. You got this, just please do me a huge favour and wrap it up from now on or you’ll end up like me before you know it”

He hugs his sister tight, squeezing her and letting out the biggest deep breath ever “love you. What would i do without you?”

“I honestly don’t know”

Chris says goodbye to them before heading over to your place and Lisa texts the family group chat, asking if everyone is free to join for dinner.

Once you become aware of the plan, you freak out and hours later you’re still deciding what to even dress yourself in.

“But what am i even going to wear?”

“What if they don’t take it well?"

Chris has to eventually hold you in place to keep you still “you’re starting to resemble that one scene in the grinch baby. Just remain calm. You’ve been around my family loads of times and besides mom and Carly already know. They support us”

He’s right. He’s always right. This is why you two alway got on so effortlessly as friends. He balances your crazy and anxious self out with his calm, cool and collected self.

Plus you both have a shared love for beer, football and cussing non stop.

“Shit, you’re right” you breathe in and out a couple times before settling on some high waisted jeans and a pink jumper. You match it with some Dr Martens before leaving to go and have that dreaded dinner.

You’ve been around his family before, you keep telling yourself this in hopes that it will calm your nerves. The car journey is short and sweet and now you find yourself walking into his parent’s house.

All eyes in view fixate on you two. Everyone knows you both have become a thing but wait until they know you’re knocked up because neither Chris nor you had the brain cells to suggest using a condom.

“Right everyone, dinner is ready” Lisa shouts and there’s a rush to the dining room with you trailing behind. Chris pulls out a chair for you to sit in before taking his own in a spot next to you.

Grace is said and small talk is made as the entire family dig in. You can see Chris getting ready to speak up and your stomach does loads of little backflips due to all the nerves.

“Everyone, me and Y/N have something we’d like to tell you”

Complete silence in the room and now you want the ground to swallow you up.

“So as you all know, we’re a couple now”

“About fucking time” Scott roars, earning laughs all around.

“Well, we’ve got some news and whilst it’s completely unexpected but we’re very excited to tell you that we’re having a baby” you stand up with him as you take in the reactions.

Some are shocked, some are cheering and smiling and others are just eating. AKA the kids.

Congratulations are tossed your way and Shanna is instantly giving you baby name suggestions whilst Scott is hugging Chris and offering to baby sit already.

“I’m so happy for you and if you ever need a sitter, uncle Scotty is where it’s at” you’ll 100% bare that in mind.

As you take your seats again to tuck into more delicious food courtesy of Lisa, Chris leans in “see, nothing to worry about. You’re family already” and with a kiss to your forehead, he continues with his roasting of Scott.

You couldn’t wish for a better family to be apart of or a better family for your child.

---------------------------

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rpmemesorwhatever · 6 years

Text

New Girl Season One Scentence Starters

"So, you know in horror movies when the girl's like, 'Oh, my God. There's something in the basement. Let me just run down there in my underwear and see what's going on, in the dark.' And you're like, 'What is your problem? Call the police.' And she's like, 'Okay,' but it's too late, because she's already getting murdered. Well, uh, my story's kind of like that."

"Hey, are you gonna murder me 'cause you're a stranger I met on the Internet?"

"Okay, look, I'm meeting a girl for drinks tonight, and I'm probably going to bring her back here for sex."

"And frankly, right now I feel taken advantage of, and I just got out of a long relationship and I don't know what I'm doing emotionally or-let's be honest-sexually. I'll just... just get out of here."

"Are you trying to rob me?"

"That is the ugliest dress I have ever seen!"

"I'm really gonna need you to step it up tonight, okay? When I see you, I wanna be thinking, 'Who let the dirty slut out of the slut house'?"

"We just started dating, so we're still in that honeymoon phase. I barely sleep. So much doing it."

"He's so soft. Like a towel."

“I could pretend to be more like you, and live on a sparkly rainbow and drive a unicorn around and just sing all the time.“

“What's your stripper name?”

“Okay, first of all, let's take the Lord of the Rings references and put them in a deep, dark cave, where no one's gonna find them. Ever.”

“Pink wine makes me slutty.”

“We're reverse Mormons - one guy just isn't enough for her.”

“I'm doing sexy things with the pillow.”

“Did you just make up a theme song for yourself?”

“I was going for like a hot farmer's daughter kind of thing, like, oh, I'm gonna go milk my cows.”

“He flew in late last night, we took him straight to the bar, took a bunch of shots, got drunk, screamed I love America.Now he's happily passed out.”

“No! I can't call Spencer I haven't talked to him since he cheated on me with that ho! Actually, that's not fair. She might be a really nice ho.”

“Fancy name. 'Rochelle', like a mermaid.”

“So when I do the chicken dance I do it a little differently. Instead of doing claps, I like to do a peck. It's more realistic.”

“We don't want to be mean, we just don't want you to be yourself...in any way.”

“So what I need you to do is this. I need you to put vodka in a water bottle, ok? Then rendezvous with me in the restroom.”

“Sum up the last two years? The country's broke. Betty White came back.”

“Believe it or not, that's not the first time someone's broken my feeling stick. I have a travel size.”

“____ is delicate. Like a flower.Like a chubby, damaged flower who hates himself”

“I'm not like you! I don't just jump in the potato sack, with the first potato that I meet with diabetes!”

“Your mother's gonna slam on your mother.”

“Yea, I mean he seemed like a really nice...European DJ with a face tattoo.”

“_____’s really vulnerable right now. When she's drunk, she has no boundaries. She's really grabby, really physical, she's really loose with her body. So I just wanna apologize in advance for anything she might do.”

“You tell anyone we held hands, I have 2 people in my phone who will kill you.”

“Okay no matter how many emails you send, that's not real.”

“Here's another tip, don't ask a guy out on a first date, on the least sexy holiday in America.”

“The most sexy holidays are the 4th of July, Independence day obviously. Women's history month, and Christmas.”

“ I wanna let you know up front that I have some control issues in the kitchen. So if I'm gonna do this, I'm cooking the whole meal. I don't want you touching anything. And I don't want to hear ‘____, _____, you're using too much tarragon!’.”

“You get all mean and you make that little turtle face!”

“I sometimes touch the frayed part of the power cord just to feel something.”

“All I'm hearing is I can't use my bathroom because you're poor.”

“Eye of the Tiger ended the cold war.”

“I want friends who still lie to me because they don't want to hurt my feelings. I sadly kind of mean that.”

“So head's up, _____'s coming tonight. And I just wanted to tell you that I'm gonna tap him like a maple tree. I'm gonna search him for some syrups.....I'm gonna be having sex with him.”

“Are you like a Bond villain? You just told me your whole plan.”

“Yeah, I don't like getting a haircut, it's too intimate. What does that have to do with sex?”

“Because I choked him. I lightly choked him.”

“You better watch it, man, because I will take you down. I had figure skating lessons until I was 13, and then my mom sobered up and realized I was a boy. Let's do this!”

“I hope you appreciate that I have kept eye contact with you this whole time and made no reference of the fact that you are basically naked.....”

“Remember when Christmas used to be fun, and all I had to do was worrying about my drunk uncle asking me out again?”

“Is it because he's a d-bag? _____ says he's a d-bag.”

“I can't believe _____ got me roller-blades for Christmas. I feel so freeee!”

“My initial thought was to get him a gift certificate for piping hot sex. But I don't want him to think I'm using him for his body.”

“No it's great I love it! It's funny, and quirky and so sweet. It's like you. And that's why I love it. I love it! Thank you. I love it...I love you.”

“Coincidentally, I'm wearing my lap dance pants!”

“Last month, he went to a party called ‘Bros Before Hos on the Moon’. What does that even mean!?”

“Damn it! I can't find my driving moccasins anywhere!”

“Guess whose personalized condoms just arrived!”

“I'm about to go pay this fine, and my checks have baby farm animals on them, bitch!“

“I don't like you and I don't want to be your friend, so could you leave please, because I'm about to start crying, and you are the last person I want to cry in front of.”

“I want to cry too. Where am I supposed to cry? You can't monopolize the bathroom crying space.”

“What if I ate my own hair and pooped out a wig?”

“Any time a man wants to show a woman how to do something from behind it's just because he wants an excuse to get real close and breathe on her neck. Watch any sports movie.”

“I know you probably think cupcakes are totally lame. I know I do.”

“I have to go out tonight, 'cause I'm feeling pretty twirly.”

“If someone catches us, then I'm going to say that you're drugging me, and it's my word against yours.”

“I wish there was a word that meant complete satisfaction and complete self loathing.”

"I'm like a sexual snowflake. Each night with me is a unique experience.”

“Come on _____! I can't be the first woman who's ashamed to be with you.”

“I want to tell people about us because I think you are the dopest, flyest, smartest, ballsiest woman that I've sexually enjoyed in really long time.”

“I'm the guy who just can't jump into something if I don't know what's gonna happen. I've just never been that guy. I'm the guy that if I don't know what's gonna happen, I don't do something. Ever. I don't care how badly I want to do it. Like, if everyone went down to the beach and jumped into the water, I'm the guy guarding the wallets.”

“Are you using your friends medical crisis to feel my boobs with your face?”

“Are you sure you're okay? You're walking like a Disney witch. Let me drive you to your doctor.”

"You're like aging ballerina, child chess prodigy, old magician crazy.”

“Get rid of it. Pine has no place in this loft. It's the wood of poor people and outhouses.”

"I'm gonna have to run all the way home, and I have my slipperiest loafers on!”

"I'll raise the money myself! I'll get a ragtag group of kids together. An orphan, a lost soul, a Jewish kid with a keyboard, a little slut who can dance, and one fatso!"

“You were denied a cell phone because you have the credit score of a homeless ghost!”

"It smells like leather and Teddy Roosevelt and wistfulness.”

“I want to kill you...because I respect you.... I think I understanding hunting!”

“When I was your age I had a skinny ponytail and I think I was living off of selling my own blood.”

“I don't...I don't know. I found this in the lost found at the gym. I'm not really sure how sexy a ‘sexretary' is supposed to be.”

“Guess what you guys? My shoes are filled with blood!”

“You've all thought about me while self-completing!?”

“I need you to teach me to be a douchebag.”

“Would you line up around the corner if the iPhone was called ‘the slippery germ brick’?”

“Actually, I don't trust what ‘cool’ means to all of you, so how about just ‘be normal’?”

“You're listening to the radio and writing with a pen? What decade are we in?”

“I got really nervous, and I tried to flirt information out of you.”

“I wanna rub my face on his face!”

"Put on some pants or at least some really high socks."

“You like me? You like my *personality*?”

“Sandwiches and sex!? I want that!”

“I'm sorry I made you feel like Monica Lewinsky!”

"Old people freak me out. With their hands and their legs. They're like the people version of pleated pants.”

“First of all, you're never gonna be old, humans are going to be immortal by 2026.”

“What's wrong? You're stress-eating meat.”

“How's the new apartment? Does it smell like new paint and compromise?”

#rp meme #rp starters #ask box meme #ask meme #rp resource #meme #rp

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djesusgetnaked · 6 years

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12 up to 23 for the ask thing? ♡ I love your blog sooo much btw

Hey there ! :)

First of all : THANK YOU VERY MUCH koiuhygtfgyuhi I don’t know who you are but I love you !!

12. Single? Taken?

I’m currently single :)

14. If single, what are you looking for in a potential girlfriend/wife?

That’s a very tricky question. So I’m just going to think out loud.Maybe, first, I’d like to see a future with her. I don’t mean I necessarily have to spend all my life with her, but usually in my last relationships, I was happy with them (and I’ve been in love), but I knew I didn’t want to spend years and years with them. So yeah, I’d like to imagine a future with her, and it’d feel right.Other points. I need to take care of people, so I’d like her to let me kick asses of people who annoy her, and she doesn’t get angry with me because of that. And it’d be great if she managed to calm down a little bit the crazy stupid things I do all the time. Someone who can understand me, and manage to control me without taking off my freedom.(Am I talking too much ? Sorry.)

15. Describe your dream wedding

I don’t have any (ahah that’s sad). I don’t want to get married, actually. And it’s stupid, but it’s important to me.

16. Do you want kids?

No. At least, not yet. Already taking care of my sister and my brother, so I really don’t want to raise another child for now. But still opened about it.

17. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live?

I really don’t know yet. I’m from Paris, so not in France but another big city. Maybe New-York ?

18. Favorite lesbian movie?

It’s not a lesbian movie, but have you seen “San Junipero” from Black Mirror ? This episode is so great, the women are beautiful, and their relationship is fucking goal !

19. Favorite lesbian novel/story?

Do fanfictions count in this question ?I really couldn’t tell you. Sorry.

20. Favorite lesbian song?

I usually don’t care about genders in songs.But “Strangers” by Halsey.

21. Favorite lesbian musician?

I wanted to say Lena Waithe, BECAUSE COME ON. But she’s not a musician.So I’ll say Hayley Kiyoko because she’s cute and sexy ?? (And I’d totally fuck her, sorrynotsorry).

22. What lesbian stereotypes do you fit into, if any?

The masculine one ! I mean : I have short hair ; I wear jeans, and you’ll never see me in a dress or skirt - just started to feel comfortable in shorts ; I wear hats ; I wear buckles belt ; I have leather jacket ; I have tattoos ecc… And I behave like a boy, while I’m very secure about my femininity.

23. Ever been assumed to be nothing more than a gal pal?

Not sure to understand correctly this one. If I got it wrong, I’m sorry.Like fucking friendzoned ? Yeah… I don’t know. I usually don’t overthink those things, I just keep being myself. And usually I can feel it when someone is in to me ?? Okay, it sounds presumptuous, but if there’s one thing I’m confident in, it’s flirt with girls.

I TALKED SOOOO MUCH. I’m sorry.But thank you very much for asking all those questions :)

#anon #asks #personal

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jubileetrendsshop · 4 years

Text

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#List #product #on #Friday #December #11 #2020

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mstakitakeshima · 7 years

Text

170729 Put Your Teen Top 7 Concert @ KBS Arena Fan Account

We arrived at the venue 2 hours before the concert. First we claimed the tickets we bought at Hanatour then placed our gifts in the gift box. (We soon thought that we could've left the gift for Ricky at his parents' restaurant (BHC Chicken) and C.A.P's gifts at his sister's cafe (Coco Valley)--both places we visited days after the concert.

After putting our gifts inside the boxes, we walked back out and my friend, Lyn (@YooByungChan) purchased some of the merchs. All the while, I was trying to listen to the annoucements of the staff.

Soon, I heard the word "Standing" and I know that that's our cue to approach the staff and ask about where to line up. While in line, I met @Hedgehog_1104, an awesome awesome Angel, C.A.P fan, and the woman behind some of the most awesome fan-taken photos and videos of C.A.P. She helped us purchase our concert tickets and so, I asked her to meet me at the venue just so I could thank her. I gave her chocolate mango from Lyn and she gave us hand fans with C.A.P's handsome face on it. Soooo happy!

Before walking inside the venue, we were arranged by the numbers in our tickets. Yep. Even though we're standing, we're still very organized. :)

By the gate, we were handed this:

The concert started almost on time. It was a little past 6PM when all the lights went out and "Love Is" started to play. I don't have a copy of the setlist but if I remember correctly, they sang at least 5 songs in a row. Teen Top's stamina is almost unbelievable. This is the fourth time I've watched their concert live and I am always in awe at how strong their lungs are. Wow! Just wow!

They introduced themselves and talked for a while, laughed, and joked around. After that, they sang and danced again. Ricky was so sweaty that his undershirt was sticking to his body. Yep. We are that near to the stage that I can see this. Also at some point, I got a peek at Niel's chest tattoo since I think 2 of his undershirt buttons are undone.

There was a part when one of them asked someone to dance as though they're "clubbing". I forgot who but it soon went down to Niel. Haha. So he was asked to dance in the middle and he did. It was a silly dance that made everyone in KBS Arena extra happy than we already are.

In the middle of Niel's "clubbing" dance, Chunji went to join him but as soon as he did, the music stopped. Chunji then whined and asked, "Wae?!" C.A.P, laughing, said that the director doesn't want him to dance, so he stopped the music. Chunji was still sulking when he went back with the rest. This is soooo funny. HAHAHA!

Next to do the "clubbing" dance was C.A.P. Here's a video of bouncing baby boy, Minsoo. Hahaha

youtube

The boys interacted with the fans a lot! Their relationship with K-Angels is really beautiful. Ricky kept on waving and smiling and talking to fans. I also saw Niel, Chunji, and Changjo doing this. There was a part when C.A.P asked a fan about her thoughts about the concert so far and the Angel replied: "Minsoo so handsome!" C.A.P laughed but said that she's saying nonsense then asked another fan. This fan then said something like, "It's fun or she's having fun." Angels screaming and telling C.A.P that he's handsome didn't stop there. Once, C.A.P asked a fan to get out the venue after telling him that he's soooo handsome. C.A.P was laughing when he said this and the boys are laughing with him. Sooooo cute! :))

Again the lights went out and a video was played. It was like a look back from Clap to Supa Luv days, NMPOY, and so on. It's so obvious that they've cut all of L.Joe's parts. Not one frame showed him and I couldn't help but feel nostalgic.

The first video began by showing a letter T, the second video began with a letter E, the third with another E, then an N, then T, O, and lastly, P. TEEN TOP. Every time a video ends is a performance. First was Ricky for his solo stage.

Ricky went out again in the extended stage, near where we're standing which was really wondeful! :) He changed into a dark blue long-sleeved button down shirt and he's still sweating! Haha. He had his eyes closed during most of the song because, I think, his sweat is getting in his eyes. But his voice really did improve a lot! So proud of baby Ricky. :)

Here’s a fancam:

youtube

I like the part when K-Angels started chanting Yoo Changhyun during the first part of the song. I only hear that on fancams but this time, I was part of that crowd. It's truly great to be there. :)

Next came Chunji, looking so pretty with his light colored clothes. He sang "Marry Me". Here's a fancam:

youtube

Again, he performed on the extended stage. The first time he laughed while singing, it was because he missed the right tune and struggled with the lyrics. Just like with Ricky, Angels started chanting "Lee Chanhee". During a short break in the song, Chunji let go of the laughter he's been keeping in and the fans grow wild. He's soooo cute! And his voice, wow! I fell in love with Chunji that night. And Lyn, well.. she's a Chunsa and I can see her melting right where she's standing while Chunji sings, in his sweet sweet voice, "Marry Me." Superb!

Third solo stage went to Niel. My first reaction when I heard his voice was, "Wow! Niel so hot!" Watch the fancam here. That distinct voice, that angst, the mature vibe.. it's porn waiting to happen. I didn't know the lyrics of the song then, so all I got was the melody, how he interpreted it, and his voice! Niel's voice is really unique and eargasmic.

youtube

Niel was dressed in all white and he has this dancer wearing all black and dreadlocks dancing around him. Another fan later interpreted it on Twitter as: "Like an inner demon wanting to get out." Well thought of concept, I must say, now that I know the lyrics of the song. Check it here.

Fourth stage goes to giant maknae, Changjo. Teen Top grew to be a group of good looking and hot men. Changjo. Wow. This boy. Here's a fancam:

youtube

He first sang a very beautiful ballad and just like Ricky's, Changjo's voice also improved a lot! I've been a fan since 2012, so I kinda witnessed them grow mature each passing year and with it, saw their talents get sharper and better year after year. :)

The ballad was short and he soon asked the crowd to "help him" with his performance. He said, as you can watch in the video: "When I say, You get me high, you say, Get me!" And so, we all sang with him and it was awesome! He moved to the upper stage for the next song which was perfectly fine because up there, we can better see the choreo and boy was it soooo sexy! Damn, maknae!

The sequence of the solo stages has been well thought of as well. It started with Ricky's and Chunji's ballad songs, followed by Niel'emotional and angstsy number. Changjo followed suit with his ballad then dance song which lightened up the mood. He also had a little rap which prepared us for C.A.P's stage. My favorite part, of course. *wink wink

C.A.P first appeared on the upper stage where he stayed until the first song is almost done. He also had the longest solo stage. As you can see in this fancam, his stage lasted for over 7 wonderful minutes.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FUR3ZvOeoM4

Everything about C.A.P spelled H-O-T. The sunglasses with that nerdy string, the lose white shirt tucked in by the belt buckle, the ripped black skinny pants, the tattoos, THAT FACE!, and of course, that voice. That unmistakable deep voice. Ugh!

This may be a little too bias but I love love love C.A.P's solo stages because then, he's all by himself, doing the thing he loves which is rapping. It's a feast to see him being passionate over his craft. He'd be raising his voice, he'd be screaming, all the while staying in tune with the beat. I just... I have no other words to describe it but beautiful. Simply beautiful.

After his first song, C.A.P said, "Sorry if it was too hiphop, the next song will be quieter" or so I thought I heard him say. Hehe. Next song came and it's still very hiphop. Haha. But I love it. Because I love hearing his voice, I love seeing him dance, see him move, and because I can see that he's enjoying every second of it. Ah.. I love him. :))

The sixth video came and after that, all five of them went up the stage once again, coming from different directions. Changjo came from behind us while the other four went up the stage from different directions as well. It's party time!

I may not remember it chronologically but I do remember that after the solo stages, the peformances got better and better. Teen Top jjang! They sang songs from the new album, High Five and when it's time for I Love Girl, I was giggling. It's because in one Teen Top On Air video of their Japan concert, I saw the choreo and it was soooooo hot! Seeing that live is waaaaaay over the top. I almost couldn't handle the sexiness. Wow! I haven't seen fan cams of this, so if you have, can you send me the link so that I can update this? :))

For the next segment of the concert, the boys introduced this certain DJ who then took over the stage while the boys go backstage to rest and prepare for the next round of performances.

This part was also sooo much fun. The DJ played Teen Top songs one after another with the beat turned up and the lights dancing along the music. It's like we were all transported into a club and it was the awesomest club ever because it's all Teen Top songs. So we all sang and danced along. Sooo much fun!

The boys came back out after that and it's an all out party! Teen Top turned their concert into a party. To name a few songs that I remember, they performed Hot Like Fire (changing "Welcome to L.Joe airlines with Teen Top airlines), Why, Oh Good!, Get Crazy, ugh! I forgot the others but do you see where I'm getting at? They performed dance songs after dance songs and we all jumped up and down and danced along with them. It's one great party!

After that set, they went backstage and Angels started chanting "Encore! Encore! Encore!"

Of course there's an encore. I think they performed Rocking, Crazy, and a few others. During Rocking, Chunji danced alone in the middle while the others stare at him and laugh. Haha.

Oh! During "July", we put up the banners that were given to us when we entered the venue and after the song, Ricky thanked all of us. We can see from his face and hear from his voice that he was moved by it. Aww.. ever the emotional one, Ricky. :))

When it was time for the traditional selca, we know that the concert is almost done. But I'm still waiting for them to sing "Angel", so when they left the stage and the lights went on again, I was a little sad that they didn't sing it. Maybe because it was already the background song in one of the videos? But still! It's Teen Top and Angels' national anthem. :(

But all in all, it was a wonderful party, I mean, concert. Soo much fun! For years, I've been watching fan cams and DVDs of Teen Top's Seoul concert and I've always believed that their Seoul concerts are waaaaay better and extra special than their concerts in other countries. I've watched them in Thailand, Philippines, and Taiwan and I can say that their Seoul concert is, indeed, the best!

That dance song medley is the killer. I really hope every Angel in the world gets to watch Teen Top live in Seoul. It's almost magical. :D

Lastly, I would like to take this chance to say this:

Kudos to all fansites for taking photos and videos so that all international fans, and even Korean fans who weren't able to watch the concert live, still get a glimpse of what happened during the concert. For sharing the awesomeness that is Teen Top, thank you soooo much!

I could've taken photos and videos since I was there but I didn't. Because: 1. I don't have a great camera for high res pictures and videos 2. I wouldn't risk being caught and interrupted from watching the concert 3. I won't be able to enjoy the concert fully if I was taking photos or videos

I'm calling out to all international fans, please honor all these fansites and respect their properties. They've invested time, money on their equipment and the concerts and events, patience, to name a few. So please please credit them always and never NEVER remove or alter their watermarks. Do not pass their work as your own. That's stealing.

Let us all respect one another and love Teen Top Forever. :D

#teen top #fan account #put your teen top 7 #concert #c.a.p #niel #changjo #ricky #chunji

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