#Stanley/Narr if you’re nasty

[alexis-royce]

Someday I can’t wait to be the canon you use to hide away from fandom with

[queer-fag]

Deadpool vs Wolverine thoughts

- lots of Easter eggs like too many to count honestly definitely requires a well rounded media knowledge even outside of marvel

- fucking incredible soundtrack. Great nostalgic choices that really made the film imo

- Chris Evan’s cameo as Johnny flame? Hilarious

- overall plot very fast and loose and really more there just to have a reason to put the two together

- is definitely crack

- like this absolutely could just be considered a crack universe because the one choice that ruined any type of canon was having Laura? The kid from Logan there in the void because Logan was sooo serious and talking about it was fine and bringing a different version (primed for “funnier”) is a great choice but wtf was she just there for other than a lil tear jerk moment idk unnecessary

- all serious moments lowkey unnecessary felt very off in comparison to the rest bc the rest was crack lol

- only part of the multiple Deadpool thing I liked was its uzi time baby

- fuck that gross dog forever but Logan just holding it to walk across truly hilarious

- love blade ? And the elektra call back but still those movies were so.. like serious (tho very camp) that it’s kind of weird to place these characters

- but the one liner to blade about animal king made it ok for me lol

- Stanley steamer cameo Stan Lee check very creative

- Cassandra… idk how to feel just a plug in villain but she had the opportunity to be so so so good I think I felt like she was underutilized

- as usual the worst part of marvel movies is their admittance that they know what’s wrong and don’t care but hey I literally saw it in theaters so it’s cyclical and 50% pass for being written and produced by Ryan

- I wish they put spawn in it. Idk man no reason at all I have no idea how the comics interact if at all but w the other cameos I think that’s probably the most overlooked marvel movie

- mad max mention check check check

- the tva as a continued narrative I dislike which is ironic bcccc —->

- Loki mention! Meta but whatever

- it was really funny I will give it props yes one liners but good ones !

- bloopers from all versions of X-men etc as ending reel solid!!! Very good

- fight scenes.. the opening was the best and the others were fine…

- they should have kisses there was the PERFECT moment and they didn’t

- I think this was a fun Wolverine actually I like how much he swore and was as nasty as Deadpool

- 7/10 final rating which is a b if you’re in Canada (reference Ryan reynolds)

[dumbasshyperfixationtime]

Not to get too sentimental or anything but It means so???? much to me???? I know we all love to make the ‘what’s this clown doing in my romance movie?’ joke but honestly, that’s lowkey what i love about It. It’s not just another piece of horror media, the entire story is about growing up with trauma and finding meaning in friendships that will (literally!) follow you for years (27, to be exact) The losers don’t just fight a clown together, they find comfort in one another and form an unbreakable bond. They make their own family, and that’s so valid. Of course, don’t get me wrong, we all know that Stephen King was way too off his ass on drugs to make a cohesive narrative (lmao, the fucking turtle!) but, none the less, he wrote a story that means something to a lot of people- particularly to children in equally shitty living situations, or adults who had traumatic childhoods.  People who have been through similar circumstances attach themselves to these characters, and that’s why i love It so much.  Ben lost his dad at a young age, spent most of his childhood friendless and lonely and was ruthlessly bullied for his weight. He pines over a girl who (in the book, at least) pays him little attention-- and yet, he’s still sweet, caring and respectful as all hell. Stanley struggles with OCD and, from the small info we have, presumably lives in a strict family. Stanley is strong, loyal and fucking smart! In later years, he struggles with depression and dies. Even still, his presence is so strong in the second half of the story, because his love for the losers withstands mortality.  Beverly lives in an abusive household with a father who is physically, emotionally and sexually abusive. Other girls make fun of her and spread nasty rumours regarding her sexuality. And yet, she’s brave, braver than most other characters, and strong as all shit- Beverly Marsh has dealt with so much, and yet she has a will of iron. Bill loses his brother and is, subsequently, ignored by his grief-struck parents. Despite all of this, he remains valiant, heroic and uses his natural leader instincts to protect and care for his friends.  Richie is bullied daily by Henry Bowers, getting beat up more often than the other losers (although, perhaps not the  most ruthlessly- because we all know that Mike’s life is threatened whenever he comes in to contact with that mullet-wearing asshole) In the films, he struggles with his sexuality and the books suggest that his parents are rather neglectful. He uses humour as a defence mechanism, something we can all relate to, and spends most of his childhood pining for a boy who he’s unable to confess to. Richie is smart as all shit, loyal, protective and kind.  Mike spends his childhood well aware of racism, Henry Bowers and his meat-headed friends threatening to kill the poor kid over and over again. Hell, in the book Henry even kills his fucking dog, he’s that hateful. Despite all of this, he’s stoic, loving and strong as all shit. Mike doesn’t beg for attention or glory, he’s content saving lives from behind the scenes, prefers being privately kind.  Eddie’s mother is overbearing, and he spends much of his childhood living a lie. He lives in an abusive household without recognising as much, being manipulated over and over again. Eddie’s witty, smart, careful and fiery as all fuck.  People attach themselves to these archetypes, and find truth in the way these characters deal with their trauma by banding together. That’s why i love It so much: whilst flawed, the narrative seems like a testament to those who lost their childhood to trauma. It says hey, you’re still valid. Because, just like Mike, Bill, Beverly, Ben, Stanley, Richie and Eddie- you’re still wonderful, despite it all. There are beautiful parts of you lying in there, and you’re capable and deserving of love.  It means so much to me because the narrative begs for you to find your own loser’s club and, as the second half of the novel proves, never be afraid to reconnect with and relive your childhood.

[best-horror-movies]

Best Horror Movies

3. The Thing (1982)

The movie: Perhaps you’ve been buried in snow and have missed  best John Carpenter’s ultimate creature feature. Entirely understandable. Why don’t you come closer to the fire and defrost? The title might sound hokey but The Thing remains one of the most gloriously splattery and tense horrors of all time as a group of Americans at an Antarctic research station - including Kurt Russell’s R.J MacReady - take on an alien, well, thing that infects blood. It might start off taking out the canine companions - there’s no need to check out DoesTheDogDie.com this time around - but it really doesn’t stop there.

Why it’s scary: The Thing is a movie of physicality. There’s intense paranoia and horror sprinkled in as the party begins to fall apart as the infection spreads but it’s the very real, oh-so-touchable nature of the nasties at work here that’s so disturbing. The practical effects - the responsibility of a young Rob Bottin and uncredited Stan Winston - are the true stars as arms are eaten by chests, decapitated heads sprout legs, and bodies are elongated and stretched. The macabre vision of these murderous monsters at work is never anything less than true nightmare fuel. It has an amazing experience.

2. The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974)

 The movie: Some movie titles are vague, letting you gradually work out their meaning as the narrative slowly unfurls in front of your eyes like a delicate flower in tea. Then there’s Tobe Hooper’s grim, sweaty horror movie. There is nothing delicate here. Its titular weapon needs to be sharp but The Texas Chainsaw Massacre is a blunt instrument of horror. This is a tour de force of violence as five young people leave the safety of the world behind and journey into dusty Americana. What they find in one house when they innocently enter looking for gas is such death and depravity that the movie is still, decades on, a disturbing endurance test.

 Why it’s scary: The funny - and there is humor here, it’s just not there on the first watch - thing about the Texas Chainsaw Massacre is that there’s actually very little blood. There’s the iconic Leatherface, inspired by Ed Gein in his fleshy face covering, and a death scene involving a hook that will make you look down and check your body is still there, but very little viscera. Gore is something that your brain mentally splashes everywhere to try and deal with the horror on screen here, to cope with the screams of pure terror and iconic disturbing soundtrack. It’s suffered plenty of clones over the years, not to mention a Michael Bay-produced glossy cash cow remake, but nothing can replicate the sheer desperation and violent honesty of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. It would almost be dangerous to try.  

   1. The Shining (1980)

The movie: Even if you haven’t watched Stanley Kubrick’s masterpiece it is way scarier, you’ll know of The Shining. You’ll know Jack Nicholson’s (apparently ad-libbed) "Heeeeeeeere’s Johnny" and you might even be aware that if you’re handed the keys to room 237 in a hotel, you might want to switch it for another suite. But what if you haven’t? What if you have been snowed up in a mysterious hotel with only hedge animals for company? Well, The Shining follows a man and his family as he takes on the role of winter caretaker at a resort hotel known as The Overlook. Given that this is a Stephen King adaptation (albeit one that that horror author hates so much that he made his own movie), the winter months don’t go well. The Overlook Hotel, it turns out, doesn’t really like people.

 Why it’s scary: There's a reason that this is the top of this veritable pile of screams. The Shining feels evil. From Jack Nicholson’s deranged performance as a man descending into murderous insanity to Kubrick’s relentless direction as we hypnotically follow Danny navigating the hotel corridors on his trike, this is a movie that never lets you feel safe. Like Hereditary earlier in this list, The Shining is like being driven by a drunk mad man. What’s coming next? Lifts of blood? Chopped up little girls? The terror that lurks in the bath of room 237? This is not a horror movie made of boo scares or cheap tricks, Kubrick’s film is a lurking, dangerous beast that stays with you long after your TV has gone dark

[pigballoon]

Beauty and the Beast

(Bill Condon, 2017)

This movie is so toothless and harmless it almost doesn't exist. Who would have thought you could recreate a quarter of a century old cartoon with all the wonderful wizardry of 21st century cinema, all of the spared no expense advantages of the good folk of the house of mouse, and somehow drain most of the life and heart out of a film that in animated form holds up gloriously well to this day with a power so all consuming you almost forget you're watching animated characters, and end up with the only work of animation nominated for the Best Picture Oscar in a year where said award had only 5 slots available?

No, this film is not that film, nor does it bear any resemblance to the most famous live action incarnation made 70 years ago in France by Jean Cocteau. In 2017, Bill Condon, scribe of 2002's Chicago, helmer of Hollywood's attempts to adapt both Dreamgirls and Nine, once again tries his hand at musical cinema by basically recreating the 1991 version with a little bit of utterly unnecessary narrative padding, and more elaborate (generally admittedly very impressive) musical numbers. Beyond said numbers the movie doesn't have much of anything new to offer. All of its finest moments it takes straight from the animated film, and somehow generally manages to lessen the impact of (the opening narration, the ragings of the beast, the nastiness of Gaston and the town towards Maurice). 

The cast is padded with a host of heralded performers (Ian McKellen, Ewan McGregor, Stanley Tucci, Emma Thompson, Gugu Mbatha-Raw and Audra McDonald) with hardly anything to do (why did Disney hire these people for a film that surely sells itself, when unknowns/actual french people could have done the job just as well and cost about a sixth of the amount?), the ones who do have stuff to do are okay, Luke Evans continues to prove a stand out in just about anything he does, following his show stealing dastardly duties from last years High Rise with more of the same. Emma Watson is fine, certainly makes a convincing bookish sort, Dan Stevens doesn't have quite the voice to lend the beast the same kind of impact as the original version had, though physically he fares fine, and the effects that allow his facial expressions to come shining through the computer generated beastliness are pretty terrific, and Kevin Kline injects plenty of heart, though his Maurice is at no point crazy enough to suggest anyone would ever find reason to lock him up. The less said about Josh Gad (one of the crowning jewels for Disney a few years ago in Frozen) whose stupidly over the top mincing early on seems entirely unnecessary, the better... It's a character that has sparked outrage among the idiots of the world for the most idiotic reasons, but could easily have caused unhappiness for the utterly OTT cliched nature of the portrayal (We get it).

All in all this isn't a bad movie, it's too much of a carbon copy of a classic for that to be the case. It's just a startlingly uninteresting one. Pretty much all of Disney's recent remakes of their classics have (however successfully or not) managed to do something very different with the material. Maybe in this case the argument could be made that you can't improve on perfection, but if that is the case... Why make it? When the most meaningful change is a pretty pathetic pair of backstories for its titular characters, I think it's fair to say what we got here is yet another (more obviously and undeniably than usual) cynical cashgrab. Fine film... If you don't watch the great ones. 

[flauntpage]

Welcome to the Stanley Cup Final Matchup That Makes No Sense

The Stanley Cup Final is set, and it will see the Washington Capitals, a team that never wins it all because they're choking dogs, face the Vegas Golden Knights, a team that never wins it all because they didn't even exist until a few minutes ago. The world doesn't make sense and we've all been exposed as fools for caring about any of this. Nothing matters. On to the preview!

In this corner: The Washington Capitals (49-26-7, 105 points, +18 goals differential), who finished first in the Metro despite taking a significant step back after back-to-back Presidents' Trophies.

The road so far: They fell behind the Blue Jackets 2-0 and then went to overtime in Game 3, at which point I tweeted this. They won that series, slayed the dragon by finally beating the Penguins in round two, and then came back to beat the Lightning in seven.

The history books: Ugly. The Capitals have never won a Stanley Cup in franchise history, which dates back to 1974. They went to the final once, back in 1998, but didn't win a game, and spent the next 20 years failing to even make it out of the second round. Oh, and they have a history of blowing big leads in the playoffs, often in the most crushing way imaginable. Now they're four games away from finally winning it all. And they're not even close to being the most surprising team in the final. Nothing matters.

Injury report: Brooks Orpik and Devante Smith-Pelly both left Game 7 with injuries and are considered day to day, and Nicklas Backstrom is still playing through some sort of hand injury that's clearly affecting him. Also, it's the playoffs, so we'll eventually find out that John Carlson's sternum is made out of papier-mâché from a child's science fair project but nobody told us.

One player to watch: Braden Holtby. Here's the ugly truth about the NHL playoffs: It's not really about who wants it more, or who knows how to win, or even who has the best team. Often, it's just about the goalies. That's it. The best goalie wins, and everyone else is just there to shoot pucks into whichever goalie goes super-nova and becomes unbeatable.

Right now, that's Holtby. He had a miserable season, one that even saw the Caps hand the starting duties to Philipp Grubauer at the start of the playoffs. But he won the job back, got better as the postseason wore on, recording his first shutout of the entire season in Game 6 against the Lightning, and then earned another in Game 7. And it's not like he's some scrub having the hot streak of a lifetime. This is the 2016 Vezina winner we're talking about, not to mention last year's runner up. All season long, Caps fans wondered where that goaltender had gone. They found him, just in time.

Key number: 11 – The number of minutes that passed in Wednesday's third period before the Lightning managed a shot on net. That's insane. The Capitals were on the road, defending a three-goal lead against a star-studded roster that had scored more goals than any team in the last eight years and was in all-out attack mode with their season on the line. And the Lightning didn't even get a shot for more than half the period. Hockey fans love to talk about how defense wins championships, and it's usually overstated. But that was a clinic in how to shut down the other side, and if the Caps can bring that approach to the final then they'll be in great shape.

Dominant narrative: The redemption of Alexander Ovechkin. For years, he's been the guy who couldn't come through in the big one. Whether it was the NHL playoffs or the Olympics or anywhere that a meaningful championship was on the line, Ovechkin was there, and he was skating off the ice with his head down while somebody else—usually Sidney Crosby—was celebrating. And there was a simple reason: He was the sort of player who could rack up personal stats, but couldn't help you win when it mattered.

Never mind if it was true—it wasn't. Never mind if the stats backed it up—they didn't. Sports fan love this narrative, and once it lands on a superstar, there's no way to shake it. Except for one: Win the whole damn thing. Ovechkin has been scoring big goals all spring, including the winner in Game 7 against Tampa. This is his time. This is where he kills the narrative once and for all. This is where he redefines his legacy forever.

Or else, he reinforces it. Those are the stakes.

The big question: How much did the Lightning take out of them? That was a brutal, nasty series, and it went the distance. Meanwhile, their opponents wrapped up their series in five and have been off since Sunday. We saw this dynamic play out in the Western Conference final, where a Winnipeg team that was better on paper came off a seven-game series to face a better-rested Vegas team. The Knights looked rusty in Game 1, then took over the series as the Jets seemed to run out of gas. The Capitals are tired and beaten up right now. They have until Monday to get some rest because the NHL hates to ever have momentum, but fatigue could still be a factor—especially if this one goes long.

Bandwagon-ability: Pretty high. It's not for the weak of heart, but we've been beating the Caps bandwagon drum for years. So far, it always ends in tears. Maybe this one does, too. But after two decades of misery, this Caps team is good, fun, and easy to like. If you're looking for a bandwagon, this is a good one. You can have Lozo's old seat.

And in this corner: The Vegas Golden Knights (51-24-7, 109 points, +43 goals differential). That was good enough to win the Pacific Division, and gave them the fifth-best record in the league.

The road so far: They swept the Kings, beat the Sharks in six and then stunned the favored Jets in five. That conference final win saw them beat Winnipeg in four straight after losing the opener, the first time all year that the Jets had lost that many in a row. At just 15 games, this is one of the shortest roads to the final of any team in recent memory.

The history books: Not applicable. As you may have heard, the Golden Knights are an expansion team.

Injury report: William Carrier has been out since the San Jose series, but could be available. Clayton Stoner remains out long term. And maybe most importantly, Marc-Andre Fleury seemed to tweak something in the clincher against the Jets. He didn't leave the game and seemed OK afterward, but it's a situation worth keeping an eye on.

One player to watch: Jonathan Marchessault. The diminutive forward's journey to the Knights' top line has been well-documented, and the Panthers' decision to make him available remains indefensible. But it happened, and he's jumped on the opportunity to make the leap from underrated (and underpaid) contributor to outright star. He racked up 75 points during the season, and has 18 more so far through the playoffs. Oh, he also drives a custom-made Lamborghini to home games now. Life is good, is what we're saying.

Key number: .947 – Fleury's save percentage so far in the playoffs. Look, I could dig up some fancy analytics, or sell you on the Knights' special teams or maybe even their imposing home record. But none of that matters as long as Fleury keeps playing like this. If you're getting .947 goaltending, you win. The Capitals will either figure out a way to get pucks past Fleury, or they're done. Simplistic, sure, but also true.

Dominant narrative: Should we be enjoying this? We've moved past the whole "Can you believe this is happening?" thing, because believe it or not, it's happening. An expansion team is about to play for the Stanley Cup. Now the question is whether or not that's a good thing.

It's become a touchy subject in the hockey world. Plenty of fans are loving this, and it's not hard to see why. It's a great underdog story, featuring a team that was literally constructed from the league's castoffs and misfits. They're not just winning, they've proving that everyone in the league—GMs, coaches, media, everyone—was wrong about, well, everything. You can see why some would find that story irresistible.

But not everyone. For some fans, especially the diehards, all of this just feels wrong. Call it jealousy if you want, but the Knights are breaking the way we think about the NHL, and about how a champion is supposed to be built. We've all been repeatedly told that the Stanley Cup is the hardest trophy to win in all of sports, and now a team is about to do it by accident. There's a thin line between "anything can happen" and "nothing actually matters" and the Knights are dangerously close to crossing it.

Or maybe not. Everyone is entitled to their opinion here, and there isn't a single right answer. But the debate is raging, and it's going to keep building as the series goes on.

Conn Smythe watch: It's pretty much Fleury all the way. In fact, he's been so good that even if the Knights lose in the final, there's a slim chance he could still win the award. A player from the losing team hasn't won the Conn Smythe since 2003 and it's only happened five times in history, but four of those were goaltenders.

The big question: When I was a kid back it the 1980s there was a coin-op arcade hockey game called "Hat Trick." Each team had one skater and one goalie, and you had to control both of them at the same time which made it really confusing, because you'd be trying to make a save with your goaltender and after a while you'd realize your one skater was off humping the boards in the corner and then when you tried to get him back the goalie would move out of the way and the other team would score. Still, it was a fun game and the players left little lines on the ice when they skated which was really cool. But then the period would end and while you were looking for another quarter a Zamboni would come out onto the ice. Except it very clearly wasn't a Zamboni, it was a tank. Like, it didn't have a gun barrel, but it had a rotating turret that the driver sat in, and tracks instead of wheels, and it just kind of went back and forth instead of following the typical Zamboni pattern. What was the deal with that? What were they trying to say?

Anyway, I'm going to spend the next few days thinking about that, because I have a better chance of figuring it out than understanding anything about this Golden Knights season. Nothing matters.

Bandwagon-ability: It really depends on whether you can get past the whole expansion team thing. If you can, then between Fleury and all the redemption narratives and the goofy pre-game shows and the underdog story, they're kind of a no-brainer.

Head-to-head: The Golden Knights won both regular season matchups because of course they did.

A word about predictions: So far this postseason, these previews are 10-for-14. We've picked the Capitals to win each round, and been right every time. We've picked the Golden Knights to lose each round, and been wrong every time. We don't know anything because nobody knows anything because, one last time, nothing matters. But we've made it this far and you want a prediction, so here we go. Let's get crazy.

The prediction: Capitals in four. Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more.

Bonus prediction that is oddly specific: Alexander Ovechkin scores the Stanley Cup-winning goal in overtime.

This article originally appeared on VICE Sports CA.

Welcome to the Stanley Cup Final Matchup That Makes No Sense published first on https://footballhighlightseurope.tumblr.com/

[amtushinfosolutionspage]

Welcome to the Stanley Cup Final Matchup That Makes No Sense

The Stanley Cup Final is set, and it will see the Washington Capitals, a team that never wins it all because they’re choking dogs, face the Vegas Golden Knights, a team that never wins it all because they didn’t even exist until a few minutes ago. The world doesn’t make sense and we’ve all been exposed as fools for caring about any of this. Nothing matters. On to the preview!

In this corner: The Washington Capitals (49-26-7, 105 points, +18 goals differential), who finished first in the Metro despite taking a significant step back after back-to-back Presidents’ Trophies.

The road so far: They fell behind the Blue Jackets 2-0 and then went to overtime in Game 3, at which point I tweeted this. They won that series, slayed the dragon by finally beating the Penguins in round two, and then came back to beat the Lightning in seven.

The history books: Ugly. The Capitals have never won a Stanley Cup in franchise history, which dates back to 1974. They went to the final once, back in 1998, but didn’t win a game, and spent the next 20 years failing to even make it out of the second round. Oh, and they have a history of blowing big leads in the playoffs, often in the most crushing way imaginable. Now they’re four games away from finally winning it all. And they’re not even close to being the most surprising team in the final. Nothing matters.

Injury report: Brooks Orpik and Devante Smith-Pelly both left Game 7 with injuries and are considered day to day, and Nicklas Backstrom is still playing through some sort of hand injury that’s clearly affecting him. Also, it’s the playoffs, so we’ll eventually find out that John Carlson’s sternum is made out of papier-mâché from a child’s science fair project but nobody told us.

One player to watch: Braden Holtby. Here’s the ugly truth about the NHL playoffs: It’s not really about who wants it more, or who knows how to win, or even who has the best team. Often, it’s just about the goalies. That’s it. The best goalie wins, and everyone else is just there to shoot pucks into whichever goalie goes super-nova and becomes unbeatable.

Right now, that’s Holtby. He had a miserable season, one that even saw the Caps hand the starting duties to Philipp Grubauer at the start of the playoffs. But he won the job back, got better as the postseason wore on, recording his first shutout of the entire season in Game 6 against the Lightning, and then earned another in Game 7. And it’s not like he’s some scrub having the hot streak of a lifetime. This is the 2016 Vezina winner we’re talking about, not to mention last year’s runner up. All season long, Caps fans wondered where that goaltender had gone. They found him, just in time.

Key number: 11 – The number of minutes that passed in Wednesday’s third period before the Lightning managed a shot on net. That’s insane. The Capitals were on the road, defending a three-goal lead against a star-studded roster that had scored more goals than any team in the last eight years and was in all-out attack mode with their season on the line. And the Lightning didn’t even get a shot for more than half the period. Hockey fans love to talk about how defense wins championships, and it’s usually overstated. But that was a clinic in how to shut down the other side, and if the Caps can bring that approach to the final then they’ll be in great shape.

Dominant narrative: The redemption of Alexander Ovechkin. For years, he’s been the guy who couldn’t come through in the big one. Whether it was the NHL playoffs or the Olympics or anywhere that a meaningful championship was on the line, Ovechkin was there, and he was skating off the ice with his head down while somebody else—usually Sidney Crosby—was celebrating. And there was a simple reason: He was the sort of player who could rack up personal stats, but couldn’t help you win when it mattered.

Never mind if it was true—it wasn’t. Never mind if the stats backed it up—they didn’t. Sports fan love this narrative, and once it lands on a superstar, there’s no way to shake it. Except for one: Win the whole damn thing. Ovechkin has been scoring big goals all spring, including the winner in Game 7 against Tampa. This is his time. This is where he kills the narrative once and for all. This is where he redefines his legacy forever.

Or else, he reinforces it. Those are the stakes.

The big question: How much did the Lightning take out of them? That was a brutal, nasty series, and it went the distance. Meanwhile, their opponents wrapped up their series in five and have been off since Sunday. We saw this dynamic play out in the Western Conference final, where a Winnipeg team that was better on paper came off a seven-game series to face a better-rested Vegas team. The Knights looked rusty in Game 1, then took over the series as the Jets seemed to run out of gas. The Capitals are tired and beaten up right now. They have until Monday to get some rest because the NHL hates to ever have momentum, but fatigue could still be a factor—especially if this one goes long.

Bandwagon-ability: Pretty high. It’s not for the weak of heart, but we’ve been beating the Caps bandwagon drum for years. So far, it always ends in tears. Maybe this one does, too. But after two decades of misery, this Caps team is good, fun, and easy to like. If you’re looking for a bandwagon, this is a good one. You can have Lozo’s old seat.

And in this corner: The Vegas Golden Knights (51-24-7, 109 points, +43 goals differential). That was good enough to win the Pacific Division, and gave them the fifth-best record in the league.

The road so far: They swept the Kings, beat the Sharks in six and then stunned the favored Jets in five. That conference final win saw them beat Winnipeg in four straight after losing the opener, the first time all year that the Jets had lost that many in a row. At just 15 games, this is one of the shortest roads to the final of any team in recent memory.

The history books: Not applicable. As you may have heard, the Golden Knights are an expansion team.

Injury report: William Carrier has been out since the San Jose series, but could be available. Clayton Stoner remains out long term. And maybe most importantly, Marc-Andre Fleury seemed to tweak something in the clincher against the Jets. He didn’t leave the game and seemed OK afterward, but it’s a situation worth keeping an eye on.

One player to watch: Jonathan Marchessault. The diminutive forward’s journey to the Knights’ top line has been well-documented, and the Panthers’ decision to make him available remains indefensible. But it happened, and he’s jumped on the opportunity to make the leap from underrated (and underpaid) contributor to outright star. He racked up 75 points during the season, and has 18 more so far through the playoffs. Oh, he also drives a custom-made Lamborghini to home games now. Life is good, is what we’re saying.

Key number: .947 – Fleury’s save percentage so far in the playoffs. Look, I could dig up some fancy analytics, or sell you on the Knights’ special teams or maybe even their imposing home record. But none of that matters as long as Fleury keeps playing like this. If you’re getting .947 goaltending, you win. The Capitals will either figure out a way to get pucks past Fleury, or they’re done. Simplistic, sure, but also true.

Dominant narrative: Should we be enjoying this? We’ve moved past the whole “Can you believe this is happening?” thing, because believe it or not, it’s happening. An expansion team is about to play for the Stanley Cup. Now the question is whether or not that’s a good thing.

It’s become a touchy subject in the hockey world. Plenty of fans are loving this, and it’s not hard to see why. It’s a great underdog story, featuring a team that was literally constructed from the league’s castoffs and misfits. They’re not just winning, they’ve proving that everyone in the league—GMs, coaches, media, everyone—was wrong about, well, everything. You can see why some would find that story irresistible.

But not everyone. For some fans, especially the diehards, all of this just feels wrong. Call it jealousy if you want, but the Knights are breaking the way we think about the NHL, and about how a champion is supposed to be built. We’ve all been repeatedly told that the Stanley Cup is the hardest trophy to win in all of sports, and now a team is about to do it by accident. There’s a thin line between “anything can happen” and “nothing actually matters” and the Knights are dangerously close to crossing it.

Or maybe not. Everyone is entitled to their opinion here, and there isn’t a single right answer. But the debate is raging, and it’s going to keep building as the series goes on.

Conn Smythe watch: It’s pretty much Fleury all the way. In fact, he’s been so good that even if the Knights lose in the final, there’s a slim chance he could still win the award. A player from the losing team hasn’t won the Conn Smythe since 2003 and it’s only happened five times in history, but four of those were goaltenders.

The big question: When I was a kid back it the 1980s there was a coin-op arcade hockey game called “Hat Trick.” Each team had one skater and one goalie, and you had to control both of them at the same time which made it really confusing, because you’d be trying to make a save with your goaltender and after a while you’d realize your one skater was off humping the boards in the corner and then when you tried to get him back the goalie would move out of the way and the other team would score. Still, it was a fun game and the players left little lines on the ice when they skated which was really cool. But then the period would end and while you were looking for another quarter a Zamboni would come out onto the ice. Except it very clearly wasn’t a Zamboni, it was a tank. Like, it didn’t have a gun barrel, but it had a rotating turret that the driver sat in, and tracks instead of wheels, and it just kind of went back and forth instead of following the typical Zamboni pattern. What was the deal with that? What were they trying to say?

Anyway, I’m going to spend the next few days thinking about that, because I have a better chance of figuring it out than understanding anything about this Golden Knights season. Nothing matters.

Bandwagon-ability: It really depends on whether you can get past the whole expansion team thing. If you can, then between Fleury and all the redemption narratives and the goofy pre-game shows and the underdog story, they’re kind of a no-brainer.

Head-to-head: The Golden Knights won both regular season matchups because of course they did.

https://sports.vice.com/en_ca/embed/article/zm8x8a/the-vice-guide-to-betting-on-hockey?utm_source=stylizedembed_sports.vice.com&utm_campaign=pavakk&site=sports

A word about predictions: So far this postseason, these previews are 10-for-14. We’ve picked the Capitals to win each round, and been right every time. We’ve picked the Golden Knights to lose each round, and been wrong every time. We don’t know anything because nobody knows anything because, one last time, nothing matters. But we’ve made it this far and you want a prediction, so here we go. Let’s get crazy.

The prediction: Capitals in four. Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more.

Bonus prediction that is oddly specific: Alexander Ovechkin scores the Stanley Cup-winning goal in overtime.

This article originally appeared on VICE Sports CA.

Welcome to the Stanley Cup Final Matchup That Makes No Sense syndicated from https://australiahoverboards.wordpress.com

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Likable Predators vs. Exhausted Penguins Makes for Intriguing Stanley Cup

This article originally appeared on VICE Sports Canada.

Six weeks ago, the NHL playoffs started with 16 teams. Now, after last night's epic double-overtime win by the Penguins, we're down to two, and the Stanley Cup Final is here. Well, not quite here, because this is the NHL and we all have to wait around for a few days for anything to start, but it's close enough for a preview.

There's no denying that this year's final presents an intriguing matchup. In one corner, you've got the defending champs, bruised and exhausted but still fighting to become the first repeat winners in nearly two decades. In the other, a team that went into the postseason with the worst record among playoff teams and had never even been out of the second round in franchise history.

It's been an unpredictable ride through this year's playoffs. Well, unless you read our third-round preview, which nailed the winner and games played for each of the conference finals series. Consider this your spoiler warning: We'll get to the Cup Final prediction at the end, so skip the last section if you want to be surprised.

In this corner: The Pittsburgh Penguins (50-21-11, 111 points, +49 goals differential excluding shootouts), who posted the second best regular-season record in the league.

The road so far: It's been a weird one, thanks to the NHL's unique playoff format. The Penguins faced a pair of top-five teams in the opening two rounds, knocking off the Blue Jackets easily and then dispatching the Presidents' Trophy-winning Capitals in seven. That earned them a date with the 12th-ranked Senators, who gave them everything they could handle. And now they close against the 16-seed.

The history books: The Penguins are chasing their fifth Stanley Cup in franchise history. In addition to becoming the first back-to-back champs since the 97/98 Red Wings, they'll be looking to tie the Blackhawks with their third title of the salary cap era.

Injury report: They've been banged up pretty badly all postseason, although they had several players return to the lineup during the Ottawa series. Patric Hornqvist missed Game 7 but was rumored to be close, so he could be back soon. Chad Ruhwedel sounds less likely. And of course, Kris Letang remains out for the playoffs after neck surgery.

One player to watch: Evgeni Malkin. The second half of the league's best one-two punch down the middle doesn't get quite as much attention as Sidney Crosby, but he's been almost as good for most of their careers. During this year's playoffs, he's been even better, leading the team in scoring and looking dangerous just about every time he's on the ice. Crosby still doesn't look completely right after suffering that concussion against the Capitals; he was great on the powerplay against Ottawa but less noticeable at 5-on-5. Malkin is rolling right now, and with Phil Kessel on his wing he'll give the Predators nightmares.

Key number: 95.0%—The Penguins' penalty-kill rate against Ottawa, which pretty much won them the series. The Senators were shut out completely at 5-on-4, with their only powerplay goal coming with a two-man advantage. That mismatch felt more like Ottawa being bad than Pittsburgh being good, but the Predators have been struggling on the powerplay all postseason long. If the Penguins can hold a major edge on special teams, Nashville is going to have a very tough time making up enough ground elsewhere to stay in this.

Dominant narrative: The repeat. It's never been done in the cap era, partly because of parity and partly due to the enormous impact of fatigue in today's game. If the Penguins can pull it off, it will be the kind of win that defines legacies and elevates star players into legends (and legends into the "best ever" conversation). It's not often you get to play for those kinds of stakes.

Malkin and Kessel rank first and third on the Pens in playoff scoring. Photo by Dan Hamilton-USA TODAY Sports

The big question: Can you win a Cup without a stud blueliner? You're not supposed to be able to. We've been hearing that for years, and when you go back through the rosters of the last decade's worth of Cup champs, they all have a Norris-caliber guy (or two) anchoring the blueline. For last year's Penguins, that was Letang. But with him out, they're left with a defense that doesn't have a stud, or even anyone you'd consider a star. Now they'll face the team with arguably the best blueline in hockey. If conventional wisdom holds true, the Penguins shouldn't have a chance. Then again, if conventional wisdom was true then the Penguins wouldn't be anywhere near the Stanley Cup Final in the first place.

OGWAC factor: Not bad. This is the time of year when fans fall in love with the "Old Guy Without a Cup"— the grizzled veterans who have been around for years without ever getting their hands on the big trophy. From Ray Bourque to Teemu Selanne to Kimmo Timonen, OGWACs are some of the best postseason stories around. But when you just won it all last year, your roster won't have many guys without a ring. The Penguins do have one, and it's a good one—defenseman Ron Hainsey, who had never even made the playoffs in 14 seasons until this one. But he's the only one.

Unexpected postseason mascot: Whatever this thing is:

He was there last year, too, and it worked then. So... roar?

Bandwagon-ability: It depends on whether you can get past the whole "defending champs" thing. They have Phil Kessel, someone no decent person can root against. Hainsey is a good story. This might be Marc-Andre Fleury's last hurrah in Pittsburgh. I guess you could do worse.

One good reason not to root for them: You're kind of sick of them, the NHL markets the hell out of them at the expense of everyone else apart from Chicago, they got their franchise player by winning a damn lottery, they just made the Cinderella Senators really sad, and oh yeah, they already won last year. Also, they're playing the 16th seed. If you're the sort of person who roots for Goliath to step on David, then sure, go ahead. But otherwise... come on.

And in this corner: The Western Conference champion Nashville Predators (41-29-12, 94 points, +18), making an unlikely appearance in the Cup after entering the playoffs with the 16th-best record in the league. How unlikely? Well, that's a matter of some debate; more than a few smart hockey people flagged the Predators as secret contenders. But even if there were signs of something special, they still finished in the bottom half of the league's standings, so their underdog credentials are in good order.

The road so far: The Predators served notice that we could safely ignore their regular season by sweeping the top-seeded Blackhawks in the opening round. They followed that up by knocking off the Blues in six, and then finished off the Ducks in a nasty six-game series.

When you make the Cup. Photo by Aaron Doster-USA TODAY Sports

The history books: There aren't any. The Predators have been around since 1998, but had never even been out of the second round before this season. They'd had some good years—including five of 100 or more points—and had been in the playoffs in 10 of the last 13 seasons. But they'd always made an early exit, occasionally in heart-breaking fashion. This year, finally, the breakthrough has come.

Injury report: It's getting crowded. Kevin Fiala was already out long term, and he was joined in the last round by Ryan Johansen, the team's best forward. Neither will play in the final. Mike Fisher sounds like he might, although he missed the last few games of the Ducks series, and Craig Smith is also questionable. That's three of the team's top centers all on the shelf, so unless somebody is ready for a return by Monday, the Predators go into Game 1 with a big question mark down the middle.

One player to watch: Roman Josi. The Predators blueline has been the story of the playoffs so far. And while P.K. Subban gets most of the attention (and rightfully so), Josi may hold the key to the series. He's a divisive player these days, with some experts holding him up as Nashville's real No. 1 defenseman and others arguing that he's developed into a defensive liability who's now overrated based on his scoring numbers. He and Subban typically play on separate pairs, so if the good Josi shows up in this series then the Predators will have at least one All-Star caliber blueliner out there for most of every game. But if the mistake-prone version shows up, the Penguins could take advantage.

Key number: 20:46—Average time on ice for Johansen during the playoffs, the most on the team among forwards. That gives you an idea of how huge a gap his injury leaves in the Nashville roster. Fisher was averaging 16:59, so if he's out or even limited, the Predators are in trouble. They fought through the issue admirably at the end of the Anaheim series, but that was two games. Doing it for a whole series against one of the best teams in hockey is going to be an even bigger challenge.

Dominant narrative: The emergence of Nashville as a real hockey market. You'll hear a lot about this, especially when the series shifts down south for Game 3. For years, hockey's old-school types would side-eye Nashville as a questionable market, one that had struggled to support a pro team. But right now, the city is all about hockey. The building is packed and crazy loud, there are thousands of fans outside the arena soaking it in, and everyone from country music stars to offensive linemen are jumping on the bandwagon.

There's a case to be made that Nashville has already been a great NHL town for years, and the rest of the hockey world is only waking up to it now because they have no choice. Maybe that's true. Or maybe this is a fun but ultimately temporary blip. The result of this series could go a long way to determining that.

The big question: Can Pekka Rinne keep it up? Rinne leads all goaltenders in postseason save percentage and is having one of the best playoffs ever; if the Predators win the Cup he's a near lock to take home the Conn Smythe. But as good as he's been, a few small cracks in the armor may have started appearing during the conference final. Rinne has allowed three goals or more just five times in the playoffs, but three of those came against the Ducks. None of those were even necessarily bad games, although Game 2 was shaky, and if he can maintain this level in the final, you have to like Nashville's odds. But like any goalie, if he picks this series to hit a cold streak, it could spell disaster for his team's hopes.

Rinne takes a playoff-best 1.75 GAA into the Cup Final. Photo by Christopher Hanewinckel-USA TODAY Sports

OGWAC factor: Decent. Team captain Fisher is one of the best candidates in the league; he's a well-respected veteran who's been in the NHL since the 1990s and is quite possibly on the final weeks of his career. If he can't play, they take a significant hit in this category, although Vernon Fiddler also qualifies and Rinne is getting close.

Unexpected postseason mascot: With all due respect to the Tennessee Titans and their beer-crushing, catfish-tossing offensive linesman, the big story has been the steady parade of famous country singers who've been performing the anthem. The singer is always kept secret right up until game time, and they've been getting increasingly famous as the playoffs have gone on. There's already speculation over who might get the honors in Games 3 and 4—Garth Brooks seems like a good bet, and they may slip one-time Predators' fan Taylor Swift into the mix. If they host a Game 6, I don't think we can rule out a return of Elvis. Oh, and the team's regular anthem singer is cranky about the whole thing.

Bandwagon-ability: Off the charts. The team is entertaining, the fans seem cool, and it's fun to watch a city really get behind a team for the first time. Plus, if you don't like P.K. Subban then I don't like you. If you can't get behind the Predators right now then you're dead inside.

One good reason not to root for them: Their fans made a hype song called The Fangerang:

I mean... that's not good, right? Everybody outside of Nashville seems to be making fun of it, so I feel pretty safe saying it's not good. I'm just asking because there's a part of me that kind of likes it. Possibly ironically. But also, possibly not. Look, let's just forget we had this conversation.

Prediction: Predators in six. Look, when destiny takes over, you don't fight it. The Predators are one of the most likable teams in recent NHL history, and now they're four wins from a championship. Of course they have to go through the defending champs to do it. Of course it's going to happen on home ice. Of course Subban is taking the Cup to Montreal this summer and shutting the whole damn city down. For once, the hockey gods are going to let us have nice things.

Bonus prediction that is oddly specific: I'm going to feel really dumb about that last paragraph after the Penguins sweep.

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