#Starscream has the face only a mother could love

[onyxstic]

So earthspark.. amirite

I’m frothing at the mouth waiting for the new episodes to drop like a damn beast of nature

[brandwhorestarscream]

courtesan skywarp au

so like I might of become mildly obsessed with this idea and I need to hear more. Are starscream and thundercracker still in shock from having just been saved from an assassin by a courtesan (an outlier no less!) or are they trying to find him? Or is it someone else’s idea to try and find skywarp?

1. Eeeee I'm so glad you like it so much!! 🥰

2. So, widely, yes. The two of them are very surprised and for good reason. The entirety of Vos's high society was there and now everyone knows about Skywarp. The party disperses quickly and Thundercracker is swept off by his overprotective grandcarrier to make sure he wasn't hurt. Permafrost also arranges for someone to escort the rest of the courtesans home safely, and word spreads like wildfire that there's an S-class outlier somewhere in the city.

Skywarp is taken in for emergency surgery due to having his mainline slit. He wakes up to an enormous mess waiting for him: his face is all over the evening news, his family is waiting at the hospital, and he's got no less than 20 proposals in his personal inbox from the varying noble houses, offering exorbitant amounts of money and privilege for his hand.

He's terrified, honestly. He feels like a cornered grounding up against the wall with nowhere to run. He took up sex work both because it was a job he could get without an aerie, and because he figured the noble houses wouldn't want him without his purity and chastity in tact, even if his secret was ever discovered. Evidently not. He's the only living mech with a warpdrive and his being a high class prostitute isn't even enough to make him undesirable. There's nowhere in the city he could hide, no other courtesan house he could go to where they wouldn't find him. He could get a total reformat, change his face and body and paint and even his voice, but how long until the surgeon is bribed and rats him out? He could run out of Vos as a last resort, but the ground is no place for a lone seeker. He'd probably be kidnapped and sold onto the black market. Someone might even try to steal his warpdrive to sell. And the other sky cities are out of the question: he wouldn't be welcome in Helex, and Kalis... they'd find him there easily.

There's nowhere he can go. There's nothing he can do. The staff is nice and doesn't let anyone into his room without his permission, and the first person he sees is the house mother. She looks extremely troubled. Of course, she had turned down every offer to buy out his contract in the past, not just because he's so profitable, but because he doesn't want to leave the brothel. She loves having him around, adores all of her employees and treats them with love. This isn't the first time a noble mech has petitioned to take one of her workers and it certainly won't be the last, but this. This is an extremely unique situation, because for the first time, there's multiple noble houses actually fighting over one of her workers. There's a full-scale bidding war going on, and she's got Skywarp's family demanding she relinquish him too.

He stresses to her once again that he has no aerie. They have no right to make decisions about his future now, it falls only to him and the manager. She says that she's turned down every offer so far and will continue to do so, as long as it's what he wants, but... there's one family she can't refuse. That no one can refuse. The royal family, naturally.

She apologizes and says that there's someone he needs to speak to, immediately. Prince Starscream and his fiance, Lord Thundercracker, are here to see him.

TC brought snacks, a few fine energon sweets swiped from the gourmet kitchen in his aerie tower. He thanks Skywarp for saving them, and is deeply apologetic that he was hurt in the process. Sky waves off the concerns, saying it was just the right thing to do. He couldn't just stand there, right? Starscream is a bit sour and broody at first, suspicious that it was an elaborate ploy to curry favor, but Skywarp truly has no interest in marrying into nobility, or in marrying at all. He wants to go back to work and pretend this never happened, but that's not really possible, is it? This is going to follow him forever, and the upper echelons of Vos's society can be crafty. Eventually, someone is going to make him an offer he can't refuse, and whether that's through honest means or not, no one can say. Winglord Hurricane and his two mates have naturally set their sights on him as well: an heir born with such a rare and powerful gift would be the ultimate jewel in their crown. The royal family is naturally pressuring for Starscream to be engaged to him asap.

Starscream and Thundercracker have no interest in dragging this poor mech into their ever-revolving circus of misery or forcing him to trine to them as complete strangers. It's clear as day he wants no part of it, teary eyed and flinching every time a new message pops up. They make him an offer, to buy them all some time: to come work in the palace as Starscream's personal attendant and head of security. After all, he just saved both of their lives. His ability to teleport immediately puts him leagues above any other royal guard. And there's not a noble house in existence that would dare petition the prince's firsthand mech-in-waiting. The royal trine will back off, seeing an engagement as "an eventuality". It's not a perfect solution but it will gain them all some sorely needed breathing room. They'll pay him very well and he very strictly won't be expected to perform any bedroom activities. No sex, no spark sharing, nothing. Just an extra precaution for security, because clearly that assassin was hired by someone.

Again, it's not a perfect solution. Skywarp asks if there's any way he'd still be able to perform his courtesan work, and Starscream regretfully tells him no, probably not. But it will stop the harassment cold, and he won't be forced into anything he doesn't want to do. They'll figure something out, somehow, a way to get him freed from the clawing hands that want to pin him down so badly. Consider it proper repayment for saving them, helping him wrest his freedom back.

Skywarp sullenly agrees when it comes out that, officially, legally, on paper? He's still technically listed as part of his family's aerie. He changed his name when he became a courtesan, but he never officially went to the hall of records to have himself removed. Which means, technically, the patriarchal trine of his family could sign off on a marriage contract without his consent or input if he's in a vulnerable state. Such as being hospitalized. They haven't done so, yet, because they themselves haven't realized the loophole. This is the only out he has.

The announcement that he's been elected as the Crown Prince's personal attendant sparks shock and outrage, but there's nothing anyone could do. While it's not technically law anymore that direct employees of nobility need their master's permission to marry, it's still an intense faux pas to ask. It would be incredibly shameful and embarrassing, to be so desperate they'd go behind royalty's back.

It's only meant to be a temporary arrangement. Starscream tells Skywarp to take all the time he needs to recover from his operation, and when he's ready they'll send a transport to retrieve him from the Heaven House. Later, Skywarp says goodbye to his coworkers and house mother with a heavy spark, thoroughly dreading moving into the palace.

[yellingaboutmasseffect]

Writer’s First Line Game

Rules: post the first sentence of your last ten fics. If you haven’t written ten fics, share as many first sentences as you have.

Tagged by @stormikins​ thank you very much!

No pressure tags: @skittidyne​ @jasper-the-menace @littjara-compleated-sage

“Love From The Other Side” - (Magic the Gathering) Two planeswalkers find themselves on opposite sides of the Phyrexian invasion as they both do whatever it takes to make it back to each other and those they love.

“When others told us what to expect in Urborg, no one told us to expect hospitality.”

“From Sparks to Flame” - (Mass Effect)  Artemis Shepard never set out to become an Alliance hero, let alone the first human Spectre, but an unfeeling cycle has begun anew on Eden Prime. She has to get her team to not only trust her but also each other which is easier said than done. Part one of a story about how love and bonds (with the guns they find along the way) save the galaxy.

Later, when people asked Shepard how everything started, they were often disappointed with her answer.

“Beauty and the Furnace Beast” - (Magic the Gathering) A fairy tale inspired story about Ayara and Urabrask fall in love during the Phyrexian invasion of Eldraine.

“In all my years, I have never seen the sky this way,” Ayara said, looking at the odd voids in the sky.

“The One With The Lipstick Incident” - (Mass Effect) A gift written for @angstyastro​ featuring her Shepard, Isani. Thane is thankful for the continued blessings the Gods bestow on his family but that doesn’t mean he isn’t nervous or that things will go smoothly.  With Isani Shepard giving birth to twins, things were bound to get a little out of hand.

Thane would never fathom why the Gods chose to favor him as much as they had— even if this most recent blessing seemed to be a trial into itself.

“Things That Were And Never Will Be Again”- (Magic the Gathering) Ajani and Elspeth meet on Dominaria, not knowing they will soon be on opposite sides of the looming conflict about to beset the Multiverse.

Elspeth. She was here on Dominaria and alive.

“Same Song, Different Verse” - (Mass Effect) In a different universe, Council Spectre Garrus Vakarian is investigating Saren when he is shot down over Earth. He is found by Shepard and the two of them have to work together as other turians try to hunt him down as they try to rescue his informant, Tali.

Garrus could just hear his father’s voice berating him as he looked at the view of Vancouver.

“Reunion” - (Fallout 4) Nate didn’t die when he was shot by Kellogg. If only it was that simple. Now a ghoul, he’s come to accept his new life but a chance meeting at the Third Rail Bar changes everything as he comes face to face with who his wife is now.

“There’s your shares boys. Don’t spend it all in Goodneighbor, even you, ghoul.”

“In the End” - (Fallout 4) When Shaun decides that his mother should no longer be allowed to be influenced by the surface, he decides to keep her at the Institute with a synth copy of her husband, Nate, to keep her “comfortable”. As time goes on, Nate begins to realize just how cruel that was as the pieces fall into place for the beginning of the end.

He had been made as a replacement for her. It was simply a fact of his existence. Made in the image of her dead husband, Nate. He was a gift to her from their leader, Father, as she transitioned to her new life in the institute. 

“More Than a Name”- (Transformers: Prime, Shattered Glass) An old one I am still proud of so I am throwing it here instead of my 9th fic

When a mission goes wrong, Starscream is forced to explore some harsh truths about himself and his views on the Vehicons under his command.

“Sir…I found him! Guys help me out!”

“Love in the Age of Gods” - (Smite) I cant believe this one squeaks in. I wrote it for my future wife.

Arachne and Serqet have been seeing each other for awhile but Arachne doesn't dare hope that it will last. Despite expecting the worst, Arachne isn't ready when she sees the end draw near. Serqet sees the situation in completely different light.

“That was completely unnecessary. We’re fighting but we’re not completely uncivilized.”

[dumb-but-also-red]

Since everyone loved my Autobot Starscream headcanons imma do another one because there is no one that has the power to stop me.

--

Starscream feels so small and weak when the others are around, he thinks his body is too thin to even be comparable to their much thicker and stronger frames. Even the youngest members of team Prime are bulkier than him.

The seeker apologizes to Arcee for killing her partner almost everyday, and it annoys her to no end. Arcee knows that Cliffjumper's death was quick and relatively painless since Megatron never got his claws on the red mech. She slowly warms up to Starscream, even though it takes some time.

Starscream always gets sad and quiet when he has to talk about his former trinemates. Both Thundercracker and Skywarp were special to him, no matter how annoying they could be at times. Arcee and Optimus are the ones who can relate to him the most since they've lost so many people dear to them. The grounders both know they can never experience the same pain Starscream had to live with though.

He mostly hides in the hangar when he's stressed, which happens quite a lot, and sleeps in his alt mode, hiding among the many aircrafts sitting in there. He feels less lonely with them. The team knows this, and they let him do it because no one knows how to help him feel better.

He's the only one who sees Optimus as a person and not as a holy being. He knows the Prime is powerful and he possesses the matrix of leadership, but in the end he's just a cybertronian like everyone else. There is no reason to treat him any less or more than a friend. Optimus is more relaxed around him, not always serious and straight faced in Starscream's presence, and that's because the Prime knows he won't be made fun of if he let's out his inner sparkling a little. They joke and tell stories about their pasts when they're alone together. It's their little secret.

He is always interested in Raf's computer skills, and sometimes even asks for the tiny boy's help to better understand human technology. Sometimes they talk about physics, sometimes chemistry, and even biology. Raf knows how much of a nerd Starscream is, and the former scientist doesn't mind it.

He loves to listen to music with Miko. The sounds are always different, and the melodies can change his mood depending on what type he listens to. Miko makes him do her homework in exchange for letting the seeker use her very tiny devices that play music. Starscream knows he can just use the computers to download or play them, but allows her to think he doesn't know any better.

He loves old cooking shows like nothing else. He stumbles upon Jack trying to find something nice to cook for his mother as a surprise, (he's a thoughtful and nice kid after all) and instantly gets curious about how these barbaric creatures kill and burn others' corpses for their own pleasure. He knows how to make food better than anyone on the base, and wishes he could consume organic food just to know what makes humans love it so much.

He plays chess against Raf and holy shit the kid's hard to beat in "brain games."

Starscream's also a slut for old fashioned board games, such as Scrabble and Jenga. When Fowler brings bot sized versions of those he gets so happy. Like fluttering wings and fidgety fingers kind of happy.

--

I fuckin love him so much he deserves to be a softboy with mom friend energy

Idc if this is too ooc I honestly don't give a flying shit

[popculturebuffet]

Of Moons, Millionares and Mothers Part 2: The Ballad of Duke Balloney or “I’m Flintheart Glomgold and I Always Will Be!” (Commission for WeirdKev27)

Hello all you happy people. I”m Jake, I review stuff and today continues my look at Ducktales season 2 story arcs, of Moons, Millionares and Mothers. And while this arc as a whole is paid for by WeirdKev27, due to the Arc’s length, 17 parts including 15 episodes and 6 comics (2 of which will be in the same review), this one’s special as he’s using his patreon review every month to do so. If you too want me to review something of your choice simply hit up my ask box or join my patreon at patreon.com/popculture buffet. You get access to my discord, to pick a short when I do a group of them for characters birthdays, help me hit neat stretch goals like my next which is reviewing a darkwing duck episode a month, and best of all EXCLUSIVE REVIEWS. And I just added one this saturday of a carl barks story centerting around wigs, legal battles and attempted murder, both by our villian.. and by our heroes...

I will never get tired of that panel nor the boys inexplicably finding a blowgun. Point is it’s there if you want it at THIS LINK, but enough plugging so I can help pay the streaming bills and keep doing this... let’s get to the meat of things shall we?

This episode begins the second arc of this retrospective, The Glomgold Arc. And this arc was inevitibly going to come to this blog for two reasons. The first is that I have made no secret, in fact i’ve shouted it as loud as I can the neighbors are concerned, that I fucking love the 2017 Version of Flintheart Glomgold. 

Glomgold is Keith Ferguson’s best role, tied with Lord Hater obviously, but it is indeed a tie. No one but Keith could’ve pulled off glomgold’s combination of ego, ham, and batshit insanity. He just makes the utterly stupid and wonderfully ludicrious things that come out of the mans mouth sound so damn natural with such an unearned confidence. It’s very clear that Frank had Keith in mind when putting this version of everyone’s faviorite South African Billionare pretending to be a Scottish Billionare and wisely built the characcter around him and his immense talent. I was not familiar with Keith at all, wasn’t even aware he voiced hater before this show but damn if that hasn’t fully changed. 

Glomgold was also just in general a brilliant update of the character: While I know a lot of duck fans weren’t happy with this version at least at first. As the action figure sitting on my shelf that once road in a car with my david hasslehoff baywatch funko pop I have entirley due to my love of baywatching,  this insane music video hoff did in the early 2000′s, and just in general how gloriously rediculous the man’s life is when you stop and think about it for a second from a pay per-view concert that ended up falling on the same night as The OJ Chase,  to his kung fury cameo , to his weird insetence they never had sex on baywatch desspite mounds of video evdience and the fact the show was buit around the bulk of it’s cast’s sex appeal, to the fact the model of his pecs used for the spongebob movie was sold in an auction and on and on... I was going somewhere with this...

Oh right as the action figure, and previous praise, shows I am not one of these fans: The original isn’t bad, in fact one of my faviorite life and times chapters that i’ll be covering this week and talking about later in the review has him as the main antagonist and a pitvitol figure in Scrooge’s life in the worst way possible. Rosa GETS what’s needed for Flinty to feel specail: to have him be an evil mirror to scrooge, what he could’ve been had he kept down the path he started down in Africa. A ruthless, amoral asshole who will do ANYTHING to get rich. 

It’s just often that isn’t emphasised enough and he’s instead just another one of the millions of generic assholes trying to get scrooges money sometimes with hired goons...

Not only that but Frank really COULDN’T have him at full effectivness. See an arch enemy in the Silver Age, which STARTED the same year Glomgold Debuted no less, wasn’t a big deal. They were still considered your deadliest foe but they’d often, much like Flinty be shuffled into the rogues gallery, show up for an issue to meance the hero, then either escape, get thrown in jail only to escape from that easily later, or be presumed dead. The last one I bring up because it happened to Magneto a LOTTTT pre-claremont. For Fuck’s Sake Charles have those teenagers train to look for a body once in a while!

Original Flinty was built for that, and brilliantly so as Barks had a talent for it , as seen by the fact The Beagle BOys, Flintheart and Magica have stuck around ever since and even in comics overseas where Flintehart is replaced.. it’s by Rockerduck who Barks ALSO created. The 87 Show followed the same formula, which was just as standard for 80′s cartoons. It’s why Megatron took until his toy was canceled the movie to shoot starscream in the face. 

The problem is villians evolved and the expecation became more that a true arch enemy had to be a true threat. While Frank and Matt COULD’VE made Flintheart a real and honest threat, he also would’ve had to make him a Big Bad. The probelm was those seats were clearly taken: while i’m pretty sure some ideas came as they went, the main story beats were clearly planned out well in advance: Webby being a clone was always the plan, as was FOWL, Darkwing being a fan of a fictional Darkwing who became the real thing, and Della being on the moon. So he presumibly carefully choose each season’s big bad... and thus Season’s 1-3 would be full up wise. Season 1 had Magica, who he made into a TRUE threat, yet left the door open for her to return as she did, Season 2 had Lunaris who even if they hadn’t fully thought him up, they probably had thought up the moonvasion, and Season 3 was what they’d built the series towards with FOWL. 

Details probably changed, it’s very clear to me they were likely going to have all three buzzards be important and ended up deicding to pivot to it just being Bradford over time. But given how well they though tout the general framework, I highly doubt Flinty was ever considered as a seirous big bad.. and I know i’m saying this in an arc that tried to set him up as one, but i’m getting there simmer. 

So they could wait for a season 4 that might not happen.. or make him a recurring villian. So Frank and Matt decided to do that and leaned into comedy. Centering him around keith who Frank worked with previously on Wonder and thus knew he could play a hammy manchild like no one else, they simply leaned into the goofier aspects of his personality. His being similar to scrooge became him being an intentional and blatant knockoff. As Scrooge himself perfectly summed up in episode 1 “The poor man’s version of me.. which to be fair still makes him insanely rich”. 

It’s another reason to really love this version as while yes, they did make him a bafoon.. he’s a wonderfully, redicuously layered bafoon: He still contrasts scrooge perfectly, manically hammy to Scrooge being calm, especially around flinty, blantatly crooked to Scrooge’s died in wool honesty, and wasting money on revenge instead of spending it on his actual company. There’s more obviously but some i’m saving for the review. 

Not only that but his insane schemery has a rhyme and reason to it: He attacks Scrooge every week like the saturday morning cartoon villian he is, but his schemes are always unwieldly and massively stupid, and he always goes with the first draft. It’s something the team enforced: the first version is what they role with because that’s how his sad brain works. He also is obssed with sharks and explosives, the former being given a suprisingly heartfelt and unsuprisingly insanne origin story towards the series end, and works them into every plot no matter how much itm akes no sense. He’s pure ego, pure stupid and pure fun. 

So yeah circling back to him being the big bad, I felt he was made one for this season for two reasons: the first is while a lot of fans (raises hand) enjoyed this version, some didn’t like how inept he was, so this would give them a breif bit of Flintheart being a genuine threat again. The other was frankly... they didn’t want to play their hand. Lunaris WAS the big bad... but fans would get supscious if there was seemingly no true threat on the horizon. Magica popped up in episode 4. We didn’t know her full plan yet true, but all we needed was lena SAYING HER NAME and fans of any other version of teh Disney Ducks would instantly go “Oh shit there she is”. So fans would now have the expectation of a main antagonist.. but would be instantly supscious of Lunaris and Penumbra if there wasn’t one for the first third of a season it took to them, and it’d leave a gap in the story to not have someone driving the plot on earth. 

So Flinty got an upgrade.. a slight one and we’ll talk about the eb and flow. And thus he got a proper origin. Now granted they could’ve planned this too, but this one’s harder to tell as the curse you me gag could’ve been a clever setup or could’ve just been a one off gag they somehow turned into an entire episode. So Flinty got an arc.. and a comedic foil, the other reason this was inevieble, and Kev’s faviorite character, Zan Owlson. So how did it work out for them? Well we’ll begin that journey under the cut. 

We begin our story a few months ago.... on every level really: the months ago shadow war aired when this episode originally good, the months ago I reviwed Shadow War (which via counting I found out was my 200th episode not counting Patreon. Nice), and most importantly for this story, the four months ago before the present day of Season 2. 

Glomgold saying curse you me as he fell into the bay during the Shadow War.... only for once in his life he dosen’t somehow get out of it unscathed and instead passes out, almost drowning. He’s found by Fisher and Mann, two fisherpersons... Mann is specific about that due to being a woman despite the obvious irony. It’s a good gag. Flinty acts like he normally would.. hostile, demanding that they know who he is.. and while they don’t.. neither does he. 

Cue credits and cue present day. Via a newscast with Roxanne we learn what I mentioned earlier: It’s been four month and Glomgold’s been missing. The general mood.. has been about what you’d expect. 

Yeah Roxanne turned on him real fast. I genuinely wouldn’t be surprised if it was because he later openly bragged about stealing scrooge’s money during the shark thing on live tv at some point, making Roxanne look terrible for enabling him and for blatantly supporting him earlier. I mean.. how else do you get a corrupt journalist to do anything decent. 

But with Glomgold gone SOMEONE’S gotta replace him.. and that someone is Zan Motherfucking Owlson. Top of her class at Mouseton Univesity, Owlson is the show once again updating things: previously they added Mark Beaks to the Rogue’s Gallery as he contrasts the 50′s (scrooge ) and 80′s (glomgold) idea of billionares from previous versions of the property being a modern tech weasel. Though instead of just one thing Owlson represents a few: The most obvious is she’s a woman of color: Having a black woman in such a high position of power is something disney would’ve outright vetoed in the 50′s and 80′s. Here it’s well accepted as it always should have been. It also feels like a delebrate move on Frank’s part: There weren't’ any major african or african american coded characters in season 1, despite the show being very open and accepting, so that needed to change. The other is frankly outside of Brigtaa MacBridge, whose also weirdly absent from this series for some reason and has taken Fethry and Rockerduck’s place as the most major overseas duck character to never get adapted, there are hardly ever any females on Scrooge and his richer foes level. He’s had the occasional female rival or suitor, but only Brigittta had staying power and while I love the idea of her, another person as rich as scrooge whose willing to spend more and has a crush on him, she badly needed an update as she’s essentially Adventure Era Amy Rose in a grown ass woman’s body. 

Owlson also provides a diffrent dynamic in that she portrays the ideal of what we’d want from a ceo: She’s honest, works hard, earned her way as square as scrooge did, gladly donates to charity and is extremely charismatic and intelligent. Granted most CEO”s are nothing like this but still, she’s what we WANT them to be. Using the money not for themselves or taking big paychecks but to help people. She also provides something Glomgold needed: a straight man. While he has one in Scrooge at times, Owlson unlike both of them is a fully functional resonable human being. Scrooge, while a good person deep down, can be reckless, impulsive and greedy, and Glomgold had a tarzan like experince with sharks, goes on to name his dummy son sharkbomb, and tried to murder Scrooge on live television twice that we know of. She’s the calm, snarky, put upon sane person trying to reign in the crazy shark explosion man. 

Owlson dosen’t get a ton to do here, but that will change and she does get a decent amout in the final scene. But what she does here establishes who she is and how sh’es FIXED Glomgold industries; She’s shut down the vast number of money sinking scheme related departments, set ups everal charities, and is even setting up a new one with Scrooge, Dimes for Ducklings. In short she knew exactly what was needed to fix the company and it’s image and did so in FOUR MONTHS. Probably even less given they had to be sure Glomgold wasn’t coming back right away. I guarantee he’s faked his death like 10 times just to try and kill scrooge. They have to make sure it’s real first.  As one last note before we move on, Owlson is played by Natasha Rothwell, a producer and writer who i’ve only seen outside of this in Love, Simon and Sonic the Hedgehog.. that is a weird combo of things that mean a LOT to me I haven’t been able to bring up here again. 

We find the tv this was all playing on on the docks with a non-anthro segull pecking it while a bunch of fisherpersons go about their day. We also get this guy. 

Add him to the list of spinoffs I want THE LIST OF SPINOFFS JAKE WANTS: 1. Darkwing Duck 2. Donald, Daisy and the Kids 3. The Sabrewings 4. Tailspin Reboot 5. The Flintheart Glomgold Show 6. A Sequel Movie 7. This Guy Punching A Fucking Fish 

So you might be wondering when any of our main cast are going to show up.. and why the fish puncher isn’t in said main cast. Well that’s about now as Webby and Louie are fishing. Well okay more acuratley webby is fishing because she genuinely enjoys it and Louie is tagging along so he can nap on a boat while Webby paddles him around. That plan is threatnned by her spear fishing and he suggests using rods instead, but they need bait for that. 

Naturally, given we need to get this plot going our heroes run into Duke Baloney, aka an amnesiac Glomgold. Understandably, both of htem think this is some sort of scheme at first because waiting for someone related to Scrooge to stroll by his fish stand for some sort of shark themed trap, especially since he’s right near the water so he dosen’t have to worry about keeping them hydrated like that time he dropped one from a plane onto scrooge’s board meeting with two chainsaws strapped to it. But .. it’s not. While we the audience saw him amnesiac, and at first I thought that spoiled the episode... it really dosen’t. He still ACTS like himself on instinct, so your not sure if he faked it as part of some elaborate scheme or is really gone till this scene shows that, no he really isn’t there. And the how is simply in knowing the guy: Glomgold is not good at subtley. He has disguises and such, but their never remotely convincing. He could NEVER pull off  actually being a humble fish monger nor have gone four fucking months without yelling at scrooge or remotely contacting him. There’s also the fact Fisher and Mann 100% belivie in duke and back up his very real story of being dredged out of the bay. There’s also his south african accent, which actors including David Tennant himself have admitted is one of the hardest to pull off but Keith does swimingly, which is a hint.. but only on rewatch or for those who know his comics origins. 

Louie isn’t convinced which is fair: even if Glomgold isn’t good at this sort of thing, he’s still tried it a lot. Webby however correctly figures he has amensia. So the two simply try talking to him. Fisher and Mann do get a bit dickish laughing off the idea he’s possibly Glomgold.. despite the fact you know you dredged him out of the fucking water 4 months ago.. and if you actually looked at the news, would see Glomgold disappeared around the exact same time you found Duke. It just annoys me because otherwise these two are great characters: Friendly loveable fisherpersons who love their job, have no comeptiviness and genuinely want to help their friend duke. The encounter does have them seeing a fancy money clip Duke has but with no other options they leave for now. 

But while Duke has forgotten who he was... bits of glomgold still stir within him. And that starts when Duke spots the McDuck Industries fishing boat, the best fishing boat on the sea, something his friends are okay with.. but Duke naturally isn’t. So while Duke was a calm sane fisherman before the true glomgold in him is on full display as he comes up with insane schemes involving fish and explosives, before presenting a rather insane scheme to his friends involving getting engineering degrees and other stuff.. it’s as poorly drawn and wonderful as you expect from him. But what’s telling is that he reigns it in when his friends show obvious concern with his actions... something Glomgold would NEVER do. For one he dosen’t have friends. For another, he doesn’t care about anyone else’s feelings or thoughts. 

By now Webby is also championing that Duke is a diffrente person.. which is true. Duke is Glomgold stripped of his hate and resitment towards scrooge. He’s who the man COULD’VE been had he not sworn eternal vengeance on Scrooge. Louie is doubtful that he’s amnesiac still.. but neither can quite figure out the full story so it’s time for research.. and for Webby to accidentally knock Louie into some lobster traps.. which given he’s spent the entire episode assuming an amnesiac man isn’t that despite all the evidence to the contrary, he earned that. That said these two were the perfect choice for it: All of the boys have a bit of skeptic in them, and we already had a plot with Huey being skeptical.. and even he would’ve given up by now as would dewey since he only has a pinch at best. Webby.. has none. She can question motives and stuff sure, but at her heart she’s a kind forgiving soul who belives the best in everyone. And.. its’  paid off fo rher. Look at the whole Lena situation, she believed in her, even while Lena was actively manipulating her,.. and it truly changed her, convinced Lena to do the right thing despite the cost, to choose love over the abusive monster who made her. It’s the only missed opportunity in the episode for me. Character wise it has exactly the 8 it needs to tell the story and focuses heavly on the five it truly is about. But not having Webby bring up Lena when we don’t hear her mentoined AT ALL during her absence (though to the shows credit they did a good job showing Webby still had never remotely given up), and it made the wait more agonizing and would’ve made her motivations hit even harder: that she belives in duke because she believed in lena and it was real. And while this thank christ isn’t remotely romantic, the point does stand: She wants to see the best. 

Louie is a conman by nature so he only sees the worst, the weakest in people, the things he can use to take htem down or take hteir money. He can’t fathom someone doing good because he can’t fathom HIMSELF being good. And that.. says a lot.. but he’s accepted himself as a shady conperson who cares only for himself.. even if that’s not the truth. His inclusion here enhances his own arc much like Huey’s role in quack pack enhanced his. It shows that deep down Louie dosen’t think much of anyone.. and probably not himself. That he has to be shady and greedy to survive when that’s not tru. Sharper than the sharpies yes but also square.

One last bit before we moved on  I just found out though: The Crew originally had this as a straight up origin story: no kids, none of the rest of the duck family, except presumably Scrooge’s parts here, just Glomgold’s struggle with amensia and his past leading to who hei s now. Honestly I think that version could’ve worked, but likely given disney seems TERRIFIED of making a show starring an adult without a chlid and had to be talked into the child light Golden Lagoon, that was a non starter but I think it still works fine. I also foudn this out via a twitter thread of Frank’s rewriting history that goes in deep on teh production of each episode. Had I known this existed before writing this one, I would’ve used it for the other two arcs and most dangerous game night, but I intend to read through it so I have everything on the table from here on out. 

For only the second time in her long career of researching stuff though, Webby has hit a dead end. Mostly because she couldn’t find anything on Duke.. and NOTHING on Glomgold’s past pre-Duckburg. The most she has is his visa...

I want to frame this on my wall.. and someone is actually seling id cards out there, so I want this one at some point. It’s not Disney because they don’t care about fan merch like this, but then that just means they don’t get the money because they didn’t think of it or put the work in then huh. 

But yeah with nothing else our heroes go to the only person they know who knows him well...  Scrooge. 

Meanwhile Duke has .. this... I just.....I can’t put words to this truly bizzare surreal dream sequence.. it involves Glomgold going insane, the kids dancing on a bagpipe, and owlson is there.. despite the fact that Glomgold should have zero idea whot hat is. I think the kids mentioned here but even then, he somehow knows exactly what she looks like.

Otherwise good stuff and it’s raining hard as Duke goes in. Fisher and Mann have formally added him to their sign, and warmly welcomed him in and Duke says “this is the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me I think” which is probably true. and makes what’s coming all the more heartbreaking. 

But before what’s coming Duke has another thing coming.. Scrooge who the kids brought to talk to him. The two talk casually, the kids watch not knowing.. and then Scrooge comes back to them. Turns out Webby was, unsurprisingly right on the money, Flinty does have amnesia, and unlike what Louie thought.. he isn’t inherently evil. Duke is just duke.. and Scrooge has no intention of fixing the amnesia. And while that SOUNDS bad.. his intentions are noble: Glomgold.. was a throughly miserable person. He was never happy and never would be till Scrooge was dead by his hand and that was never going to happen.  It isn’t even taking an enemy off the board: Flinty is only a threat on occasion. Scrooge clearly ENJOYS their conflict: it may annoy him from time to time, but he clearly enjoys upstaging the guy. And as he points out, it’s not a brain injury or anything: Glomgold is practically immortal as Louie put earlier, and Scrooge outright mentions Glomgold’s taken a LOT of explosions to the face. So he’s in no real danger physically or emotionally.. he’s happy. He has friends, a calling he truly enjoys. There’s another reason too but we’ll see that in the final scene. 

So Duke is finally happy... but it doesn’t last... the kids go out but a storms a coming, and Duke selfleslly heads out to save them.. only to get hit on the head and fall in the ocean again. 

It’s here we get the 2017 version of Glomgold’s origin story. We did kinda get one with life and times, as we saw his first meeting with scrooge and why he hated him, long story short with the long story coming later this week Glomgold left Scrooge for dead and Scrooge’s response was to come back, kick the fuckers ass, tar and feather him and utterly humilaite him, leading to Flinty swearing vengance. 

But while I love that version..t his one is just as awesome if not better. And it’s without having Scrooge ride a lion. Here we instead meet Flinty as a child Scrooge’s age... and as a shoeshine boy. Yup just like Scrooge Duke, Glomgold’s birth name, was an industrious young boy with big dreams. He also had unwieldy schemes from minute one, but Scrooge saw in this lad the same fire he had and tried replicating his own origin. 

The problem was... the different context ruined it. Scrooge was paid by an equally poor ditchdigger the us equilvent of his pay: still useless in scotland, but a good lesson in hard work and not being swindled. Scrooge tried that... as the richest duck in the world and without giving flinty the same amount of money. 

So Duke/Flinty took umbrage at this yelled at scrooge.. and pick pocketed his money clip. In the only bit taken from the rosa version of their first meeting, Scrooge never realized he’d met flinty already. There and then duke came up with his first true, and first insane scheme: Save the money and use it to mold himself into a richer, more scottish version of scrooge dedicating his life to one upping him and killing him. A “single white female” type thing as Frank put it. 

It’s.. utterly brilliant... taking Glomgold being a knockoff as mention and just running with that... making Glomgold a LITERAL knockoff. This was indeed the plan all along: A way to have him be both south african and scottish and it was brilliant. It also gives him more depth and more tragedy: He COULD’VE been the next scrooge.. but instead of being his own man or learning any of the hard lessons scrooge did he doubled down on never learning anything and getting vengeance on an old man’s well meant but accidently classist gesture. 

So Glomgold reawakens and while it first looks like he’s going to save the kids... he instead throws Webby into the raging sea, and steals their fish. Webby is heartbroken and Louie asks him “what about duke.” His response is heartbreaking as it is character defnting

“I”m Flintheart Glomgold and I always will be!” the lightning shot, the cackle..i t’s just such a damn good moment that underscores the tragedy of the episode as Glomgold’s new friends are horrified by what he is now and what he was always meant to be and Glomgold leaves to go stalk scrooge once again. He indeed is Flintheart Glomgold and always will be.. because he threw the decent person he could’ve been away. He’s miserable.. because he can’t let go of his rage or ego and just move on from something that happened to him when he was ten! He has to be in his 60′s now! Glomgold may think Scrooge is his worst enemy.. but it’s really Flintheart Glomgold.... and it always will be. 

So naturally his first actoin is to storm into his company and scream at scrooge. How he found him there... honestly not a huge suprise it’s his company and he likely knows how to find scrooge anywhere because he’s a creep like that. Scrooge and Owlson’s reactions are both worth a look at:

Given Glomgold bursts into an already annoying meeting of Scrooge trying to get the dimes part knocked down to nickles (and likely lower before that given he mentioned Pennies earlier), to accuse Scrooge of trying to trick him by appearing as a boat in his dreams her bafflement is both understandable and hilarious. Like she probably HEARD what Glomgold was like but gennuinely didn’t belivie it and her face is just now frozen in a look of “oh my god they were not exagearating what fresh hell is this”. 

She tries to be professional and introduce herself but he just brushes her off and yells at Scrooge blaming him for being forgotten (”You literally forgot yourself), with Owlson also considering calling security. She only dosen’t because Scrooge points out he’ll tire himself out eventually and as usual for their jousts, is not remotely threatened or worried. He’s just..sad. And getting back to his reaction.. that’s what’s telling about his plan. He probably KNEW this would happen. He in his heart knew Duke Balloney would be gone soon, and he’d have to deal with Glomgold again. It helps soften the implicatoins: it wouldn’t last and fraknly if it did Scrooge would probably have people check on him regualry to make sure he was okay. He’s not a monster.. he just wanted Flinty to be happy for five minutes and to not ruin that out of some misplaced sense of right and wrong.. when the right thing was to simply let the man be happy till it inevitably blew up. 

Glomgold however, furious at being forgotten and cast aside has decided to take a huge poorly thought through gamble and challenges scrooge to a classic Scrooge comics trope between the two, but with higher stakes: A contest to see who will be the richest duck in the world by the end of the year.. and given Christmas happens right after this i’m just assuming he means a year from now. Winner gets both companies and fortunes. Scrooge scoffs at this.. till Flinty pulls out the clip, taunting him with how he did it and “If I can beat you once scrooge i’ll beat you again”. And this, Flinty revealing he stole from him and he NEVER KNEW it or realize it, enrages scrooge enough to agree and to take him seriously... meanwhile Owlson.. just tries to get actual work shit done and just forges their signatures. Look she is a woman of color in the business world with genuinely good motives... she’s probably used to using white nonsense to get things past two idiots having a peeing race. 

Final Thoughts:

This episode is truly excellent and like Most Dangerous Game Night! i’d forgottne just HOW good it was. The pacing, the comedy, and the character work is all on full blast and i’ve gushed plenty enough about how great an origin story is. it’s a character piece that explains why this doofus is the way he is and that is what holds him back. 

Next time on MMM: Louie’s back as he pulls a ghostbusters to make quick money and Storkules starts rooming with Donald with predictable results. 

If you liked this review consider joining my patreon and i’ll see you at the next rainbow. 

[mk-wizard]

Top 10 Myths About Transformers Debunked

Hello, Transfandomers. I decided to do a post that debunks several Transformers myths. Note that I will not concentrate on any myths involving pairings because the orientations, love interests and relationships vary from universe to universe. Plus, 95% of them are up for debate even when the orientation of a character is confirmed because it merely leaves out who they cannot be attracted to no who they might be. I have also omitted the “Ratchet was once a Decepticon” myth because I have an entire article debunking that silly rumour. Anyway, onto the list.

1- Starscream is secretly a femme or at least was one at one time. - While some versions of him have an unusually high pitched voice for a mech, this myth is complete nonsense. I have nothing against female Seekers or transgender people, but Starscream is and always has been a male.

2- Megatron was once a Prime. - While Megatron and Optimus are brothers in the Michael Bay movie series as least, Megatron is not a Prime and never was one. He merely adopted the name “Megatronus” who was a Prime according to Cybertronian culture in the beginning. While it is possible that he might be a long lost member of the “Prime royal family” that still doesn’t make him a Prime or a potential heir to the Autobot Matrix.

3- Bumblebee is a child. - A lot of fans have fun believing Bumblebee is a kid and his height as well as his baby face make him look innocent, he isn’t a kid. In human years, the youngest Bumblebee has ever been was a teenager including in the Animated series. A very short teenager, but nonetheless, a teenager.

4- Arcee is Wheelie’s mother. - No she isn’t. In fact, I don’t think Arcee has any children as of yet. While Arcee would probably make a very good mother and has formed a motherly bond with Wheelie and has practically adopted the boy, she isn’t his actual mother. In some continuities, she is at most his aunt though.

5- Optimus is secretly evil. - While I admit that I am one of the few fans who is open to the idea that Optimus is not as saintly as he lets one and may have some vices, he is STILL as good as gold. He doesn’t have an evil wire in his body. The closest thing to an evil Optimus there will ever be are the Shattered Glass version and his evil twin Nemesis Prime.

6- It is all Hot Rod’s fault that Optimus died. - While the animated movie misled us to believe this, the comic version cleared the air that no matter what would have happened in that moment, Megatron still would have shot Optimus because Optimus wouldn’t have shot Megatron. If anything, Hot Rod tried to prevent a disaster that was just destined to happen. In other words, Optimus was just meant to die that day. It is no one’s fault. Moreover, even without the shot, Optimus was horribly injured to the point of leaking oil, energon and electricity. Heck, even his robo-guts were hanging out. He was going to die no matter what.

7- The Seekers are all siblings. - The only continuity of which the Seekers are sort of related is Animated of which they are all clones of Starscream. In all other continuities, the Seeker style armour is a uniform hence why they all look alike. They are not biologically family.

8- Animated Blitzwing is German. - While his accent sounds European and it is hinted that Transformers have multiple languages, it is impossible for Blitzwing to be German because Germany is a country exclusive to Earth. While it is possible that Blitzwing was born on another planet, it wasn’t Earth. His German sounding accent is just a coincidence and a case of the makers having some fun.

9- Transformers cannot eat human food. - Out of all of the myths, this one is the most understandable. It is true that Transformers don’t get any nutrients from eating human food, but as shocking as it sounds, they can eat it! Though in their case, they eat for fun kind of like the gem Amethyst from Steven Universe does. Their digestive system consists of a literal furnace so it literally burns everything they eat. Human food would easily burn up. In fact, some Transformers have even been known to take liking to specific foods like coffee, sweet or alcohol. In some continuities, it is hinted or speculated that Optimus Prime himself sometimes eats sugar cubes straight up as candy. I am guessing they still need to brush their teeth after though.

10- Kup is Rodimus’ dad or at least his grandpa. - While he acts like a mentor and father to Rodimus, Kup and Rodimus are not even related let alone parent/grandparent and child. They don’t even share any resemblance that hints they could be related. Moreover, Kup is not even a member of a the Prime dynasty. He’s but a humble soldier. If anything, Rodimus has often always been hinted as to having a relation to Optimus either as a distant cousin or nephew. I wouldn’t even be surprised if one day, one series will present Rodimus as Optimus’ son.

[queerpyracy]

first line tag game

tagged by @mickeymagpie​

Rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all). See if there are any patterns. Choose your favorite opening line, then tag 10 of your favorite authors! 

i’ll get as close to 20 as i can and not in any particular order bc god help me if i can remember when i started anything. you’ll recognize some from this post. as always i love to talk about my projects so you can ask about any of them

under the cut 👇

1) the expedition of the witchbane (fantasy, maritime adventure)

The crew of the Witchbane knew exactly three things about Second Commander Ulric Helde.

2) the devil’s daughters (space western)

Rachel quietly closed the door behind her, and sat down across from her father’s desk, waiting for him to notice her.

3) meda (fantasy)

Meda watched the sea as the carriage drew near to the estate.

4) queen of fire (epic fantasy)

I was at archery in the gardens of Alameya when news arrived that my mother had died.

5) bedfellows (fantasy)

Liese and her mother are hanging out the laundry to dry when Hevris Anaan stops at their back fence.

6) idw2 pre-war starop (transformers, starscream/orion pax)

Pity things on Cybertron only seemed to get interesting the moment Starscream was away.

7) bearskin (fantasy, post apoc but like, Very Post)

The orchestra of crickets and frogs was still going strong as Ian put another log on the fire to keep the coals hot through the night.

8) saint thunder (fantasy, post apoc)

I suppose the Saints were born before Oasis was.

9) salt and steel (urban fantasy)

The storm has already rolled in by the time Inez is ready to leave her apartment.

10) the courtesan (space opera, my 2020 nanowrimo)

When I first meet Janai Tiresos, she’s ninety-three years old.

11) untitled thinly-veiled fantasy frankenstein fix-it fic

Lady could smell autumn on the air.

12) dawn star (fantasy, erotica, dead dove do not eat)

“No need to look so morose,” Yura says, his amusement evident on his face.

13) undying (modern fantasy)

Has he gotten any better?

14) shadow of the mountain (fantasy, romance)

We had no name for the land in which we lived when the others came.

15) prince of ashes (not related to queen of fire, a sports anime fantasy au with the serial numbers scrubbed off and genderbent)

“Kestrel.” Someone kicked her boot, and Kestrel groaned, pulling an arm over her face.

16) radiant sun (space opera)

Tirem had waited six weeks for their security clearance to go through.

17) salt moon (fantasy, romance)

Kirin sits very quietly, watching the other women fidgeting nervously.

18) the flowers of copernicus (sf)

Bren sets up the camera, making sure the lamp doesn’t render them blinding white on the video image.

aaaaaaaaaannnddd that’s all i got. tagging @hipsofsteel and anyone who got this far and wants to do it

[hollyharper]

Get ready for some crazy! This is an older piece, so know the writing isn’t as good.

A Not So Happy Family Reunion

Starscream immediately knew something was different when Windblade barged into his office and throw herself into his arms. She smiled brightly at him. Those cyan optics, he loved so much, stared up at him hopefully. Her head was nestled ageist him. Her wings were lowered and fluttering with excitement.

“Windblade if it’s about another child, No.”

She looked up at him and pressed closer. “It’s not about that. Besides, I’m not as young as I used to be.”

“Then what is it?” Starscream asked.

In response, he got a smirk and fluttering wings.

“What?” He whined.

Her smile widened. “Well, I found this human tradition that I loved. So, I made the arrangements.”

“What tradition?” Starscream asked warily.

“A family reunion.”

Starscream relaxed. “That doesn’t sound bad.”

Windblade smiled enchantingly. “Good.”

She was gone before Starscream could ask for details. That was probably intentional. About a week later, Starscream discovered himself waiting in a huge room for the rest of his so-called family. Tables were set up around the room along with two buffets. Windblade stood next to him. Her wings fluttered with excitement and nerves. All of their children darted around the room, changing things, arguing about it than changing it again. Out of all four, Sunblast was the only one acting like a teenager. She stood in a corner with a datapad, doing her parents didn’t know what. Fallstreak and Windstar were atemtmeting to make things perfect before their crushes arrived. Though they strongly disagreed on what perfect meant. Stormsaber, on the other hand, jumped around giddily and almost massacred the buffets, until Windblade told him to act like twelve-year-old instead of a three-year-old. After that he paraded around, brandishing his wings like an entire army. Windblade buried her face against Starscream.

“It’s a mess already, and no ones here.”

“Well, at least the kids are enjoying themselves.” Starscream attempted to comfort.

Windblade glared at him. “You’re the only one who could see destruction as entertainment.”

He rolled his eyes. “Now I know where Sunblast got her stubbornness.”

“She got her temper from you!” Windblade contradicted.

Thankfully they were intriputed as Fallstreak dashed form the window screaming. “She’s here!”

“Here comes Fallstreak’s girlfriend!” Windstar sang.

“She’s not my girlfriend,” Fallstreak argued. “She’s my fiancée. There’s a difference.”

“You still kiss her, take her out, and flirt.” Windstar stated with a disgusted face. “I don’t see the difference.”

He was about to argue, but Starfire walked in and Fallstreak ran to hug her. The pair chatted and, to Windstar and Sunblasts’ horror, made out. Windblade tracked down Stormsaber, who had wandered off sometime during the preceding. She reappeared with Stormsaber, whose mouth was rimed in crumbs. She handed him to Starscream.

“This is your fault, so he’s your problem.”

“How’s it my fault! I wasn’t the one gorging myself on cake!” Starscream exclaimed, trying to ignore Windblade’s younger sister, Lightbright, who was staring at him.

“He got that from you. I never devoured entire cakes in five minutes.” Windblade exclaimed.

“There was our wedding cake…” Starscream mumbled.

“You ate over half of it.” Windblade retorted quite vitality.

“Over half of it. You at ALL of it!” he practically yelled.

“I did not!” Windblade screamed back.

Elita and her sisters snickered quietly as the Lord of Cybertron and his ‘stubborn’ sparkmate argued.

“Hmm. Seems familiar.” Optimus commented over Elita’s shoulder.

She turned around. “What do you mean?”

“A young couple arguing like enemies.”

“Who?”

“Us.”

“We weren’t like that!” Elita exclaimed.

“Are you telling me you forgot how stubborn you were when we were young?”

“I wasn’t stubborn!” Elita exclaimed and wacked him reasonably gently on the head.

Optimus rubbed his head. “Apparently, you still are.”

In response, Elita brandished her fists at him. Optimus threw his hands into the air.

“I’m not saying that’s bad.”

Arcee barreled in between them. “Hey, there’s great cake. You should come try some!”

Elita was dragged to a safe distance by her little sister. Chromia walked up to Optimus.

“I thought you would have learned by now not to insult her.”

Before Optimus could answer, a shriek pierced the air. Starscream fell to the floor in a trembling mess. Windblade ran to his side. She pulled him into her embrace before looking around for what had caused the problem. A certain sliver mech stood in the doorway, staring at them. Starscream trembled, desperately grabbing at Windblade. She soothed him gently. A stunningly beautiful femme appeared at the side of the mech. Sparkstalker, Lightbright’s fiancée, ran to her.

“Mother! You came!” He exclaimed.

She hugged him close. “Of course, Darling.”

Windblade heaved Starscream to his feet then went to greet them. “You’re Sparkstalker’s parents?”

“Yes,” Megatron answered. He glanced at Starscream. “I didn’t mean to…”

“It’s alright,” Windblade answered. “He just has some bad memories that’s all.”

“I know,” Megatron answered darkly.

“Make yourselves at home.” Windblade offered. “I’m sorry there aren’t many cons, but Skywarp and Thundercracker should be here soon.”

Megatron looked around nervously. The femme next to him, who Windblade assumed was his mate, whispered something then gently lead him forward. Windblade turned back to Starscream, who had managed to sit in a chair instead of on the floor. He reached for her. It only took a moment for him to maneuver her into his lap and buried his face in her shoulder. Windblade loving stroked his head. As she watched, Optimus and Megatron started talking.

“So how are you related?” Optimus asked.

“My son’s engaged to Windblade’s sister.” Megatron explained “You?”

“Chromia’s always been considered family by Windblade, so the rest the family was dragged in too. But really Starfire’s engaged to Fallsreak.”

“Who?”

Optimus shook his head. “Starfire is my daughter, And Fallstreak is Windblade’s oldest son.”

“Who’s Starfire’s mother? I thought Elita was dead.” Megatron asked.

“I thought Elita was dead too. We were both wrong. She found me, again.”

Megatron nodded. Optimus looked around.

“Where is Starfire?” He wondered.

“‘Making out with her boyfriend.” Sunblast lazy answered from the corner where she was watching TV with her friends. Windblade left Starscream once he relaxed. She joined Lightbright, Sparkstalker and Sparkstalker’s mother. Starscream watched her leave. He closely watched Megatron and Versa, his mate. He didn’t trust them, especially when Windblade was in question. Suddenly, he was picked up and hugged.

“Screamer!” Thundercracker exclaimed.

Skywarp nodded his greetings.

“You Have to meet my sparkmate, Screamer!” Thundercracker shouted joyfully.

“Don’t call me Screamer.” Starscream choked out, While he was being dragged toward a pink femme. Skywarp followed behind his brothers. Thundercracker let go of Starscream so he could pull the femme closer.

“This is Maxima.” He said entusactlly. “Maxima, this groch is my trine leader, Starscream!”

She nodded politely. “You’re Windblade’s sparkmate?”

Starscream nodded.

“Oh! My ex will be here soon.” Thundercracker exclaimed.

“You’re a lucky mech.” Maxima continued.

“I know,” Starscream answered, watching as his siblings were distracted by cake.

“You don’t.” Maxima retorted. “When Windblade was young, she met a mech. He was older than her. We told her he wasn’t safe but she didn’t listen. I don’t know what exactly happened between them, but he dumped her harshly. After that, she swore she would never date again. You’re lucky. She saw something in you.”

Before she could continue, a familiar purple femme smashed into her.

“Maxima!” The overly enthusiastic quantum mechanic screamed.

Maxima seemed to be pummeled by Nautica as she was hugged. Starscream slipped away only to be trampled over as Stormsaber rushed by with a cake.

“The cake is a lie!” He screamed.

The icing splattered all over Starscream. Windblade, who was chasing their rampaging child, tripped over Starscream. She landed on top of him with a yowl. Both parents watched helplessly as their out of control child dumped the cake on Megatron’s head. He stared as Stromsaber ran away, still yelling.

“The cake is a lie.”

At that moment a young femme, who no one seemed to recognize walked in. She looked around in confusion before choking out.

“Optimus?”

At that the Prime ran to her. He hugged the bewildered femme.

“Solus! I missed you!”

She returned the hug, still quite confused.

“I missed you, too.”

While they were hugging, Starfire burst into the room with Fallstreak.

Both screamed at the tops of their lungs. “The cake is a lie.”

Windblade groaned. Starscream groaned, only because she elbowed him in the side while attempting to get up. Fallstreak and Starfire disappeared, only to come back moments later with fake portal guns. Windstar jumped to her feet and bolt out the door. Steelhide followed her. Moments later they reappeared with more portal gear. Windstar was holding a core. While Steelhide held a companion cube.

“Why did we ever let them play that game?” Windblade muttered.

“Because you played it when you were that age.” Starscream answered nonchalantly.

Windblade glared at him. Their children came tearing back into the room and dropped what appeared to be a hundred companion cubes on the floor. Optimus and Solus, who had been joined by the rest of the Primes, stared in astonishment as a massive pile of portal junk was created on the floor. Nautica was the one to save Windblade and Starscream from further embarrassment.

“Kids, if you put that stuff away, I’ll teach how to play ‘spin the bottle’.”

All eight children perked up then rushed to put all the stuff away. Nautica walked to Windblade.

“Would you mind grabbing a bottle for me?”

Windblade nodded.

“I have one.” Sparkstalker called.

He handed the perfectly round bottle to Nautica.

“Thanks.”

She gathered the children into a circle and the game began. All the adults grabbed snacks and gathered around to watch the game. By the time Solorflare had been forced to kiss Steelhide, everyone started cheating.

Randomly, Megatronus, who had been slowly inching closer to Solus, cried out. “We’re missing someone, Primus and Unicron aren’t here.”

“Don’t you dare.” Solus snapped at him.

Everyone else joined her. Megatronus withered under Solus’s glare. She smiled slightly, which he took as an invitation to wrap an arm around her. Outside, the persons in question were debating. Neither wanted to stay if the other would be there. In the end, both just gave up on the idea and left. On the way home, Unicron grabbed a moon to snack on. Solus responded reasonably to Megatronus’s action. Moments later, she was happily resting against him. He whispered something to her, which earned a slap to the face. Meatronus obviously didn’t understand that she was annoyed. The next thing Solus knew Megatronus was kissing her passionately. She surprised herself as she returned the sign of affection. The bottle went flying throw the air and smashed on Nexus Prime’s head.

. . .

Windblade collapsed on the bed. The event had been a disaster. Starscream lay down beside her. He ran hand down her back, before curling against her.

“It wasn’t so bad.” He whispered.

“It was miserable and never happening again,” Windblade stated.

[hell-on-training-wheels]

Suddenly the sound of the F-15 is heard, as as soon as the F-15 appears above in the sky, PD looks up and knew its identity, judging by the colours* PD – “Nonny, did you just call Starscream?” “Who else? Can’t call Skywarp; he pulls dumb pranks.” *Shockie takes the opportunity to get out a water pistol and sprayed it on Helly* Shockie – “Nonny, go get in the F-15! I’ll hold her and the cat off!”

*Before Shockapella can spray her with the squirt gun, Helly lifts Mr.Tubbs to take the brunt of the water assault*

*Theres sudden collective gasps throughout the car**It goes quiet... the roar of the F-15 the only sound breaking through the otherwise awkward muteness*

*Mr.Tubbs’ eyes are filled with betrayed tears... or maybe it’s just water... but regardless, the orange fluff lays the guilt on thicker than his thighs* *He cannot believe Helly would do this to him* *Force him to take a bullet* *Using him as a fat, fluffy shield* *Mother is cruel* *Mother has never loved Mr. Tubbs, afterall*

* Helly looks at her cat, water droplets mixed with tears in the despondent tabby’s eyes . How could she do this to her fluffy confidant who has been there through thick and thin - she feels utter shame at her actions*

Helly: *sucks in a breath* *eyes brimming with regretful tears* *Looks to the group* “Look what you have done to me. All of you. Forcing me to sacrifice Mr. Tubbs I’m such a manner. What have we become? What has this turned into? When have we become animals! Yes! Animals I tell you! All this senseless violence. The games... the deceit... all the Mexican food - and for what, I ask? This is madness... I never wanted anyone to get hurt... especially not Mr. Tubbs...” *The cat meows sadly... the light... it grows closer for the cat* *How will he go on?*

*Helly lets a tear roll down her face, carrying Mr. Tubbs in the crook of her arm, and opens the door* *the violins swell, a melancholy melody playing as background noise, as Helly exits the car* “I will leave you... in peace... goodbye all...”

*Helly shuffles away... the music it grows louder as Helly walks down the lonely dark road* *the violin plays Nearer My God To Thee*

*Shockapella smacks the tiny violin from PDs hands, stopping the violin instantly with a piercing screech* Shockapella: “Stop that, will you?”

@the-06 @shockapella-sweet @therealpoesdaughter

[vozpit]

The 10 Best Cartoon Bad Guys of All Time

10. Boris Badenov - The Rocky & Bullwinkle Show

Shaddup you mouth!Never in the history of cartoons has there been a character so happy to be evil than Boris Badenov. Along with his sidekick, the almost as evil (and somehow strangely sexy), Natasha Fatale, Boris did everything he could to make Moose & Squirrel's life a living hell. He obviously hated America & everything to do with it. But, he also hated his own country of Pottsylvania & did his best to avoid going there whenever possible. 9. Berg Katse - Gatchaman

The original sex change artistAlso known as Zoltar in "Battle of the Planets" & Galactor in "G-Force". Berg Katse is the leader of Galactor (that was the name of the organization in the original version), an evil alien race, determined to rule the Earth. What set Berg apart from the other alien bad guys, is he was a shape-shifting sex-changer. Yes, sometimes he was a man & sometimes he was a woman! The English versions explain this by saying it was two different people, Zoltar & his sister. Although, even as I kid, I figured out they were one & the same. Although I thought he was just a woman, dressed like a man. Little did I know what screwy heads the Japanese had with their characters. Considering Berg had to deal with the fact that sometimes he had a cock & sometimes not, I have to give him credit that he was able to do as well as he did running the whole show. 8. Cobra Commander - G.I. Joe

COBRA!Cobra Commander is leader of Cobra, a ruthless terrorist organization, determined to rule the world! Kind of like Galactor, but Earthbound. And Cobra's ideas to take over the world were so crazy, that aliens from another world were like, "That's some crazy shit, Cobra!" He always hid his face, either behind a hood, with eye holes, or a helmet with a mirrored front. Somehow, this mirrored face didn't reflect anything. It was Cobra Commander's voice that was the star of the show though. It was raspy & lispy & when he spoke, you listened. Cobra Commander was such a great character, that he even appeared in another cartoon, "The Transformers", which obviously took place years after Cobra was disbanded, as he was pretty much alone. As far as we know, Cobra Commander is still out there, biding his time. Mwahaha! COBRA! 7. General Grievous - Star Wars: The Clone Wars

Kick ass cyborg!Appearing in the 2nd "season" of the animated Star Wars tale, that takes place between Episodes 2 & 3, Grievous stood out as one mean mother fucker. He killed almost all the Jedi, BY HIMSELF! He stood taller than the Jedis & had 4 arms, which meant, 4 fucking light sabers! He was so cool, that George Lucas said, "He's cooler than any character I ever came up with. Let's put him in the next movie!" Of course, Lucas turned him into a smaller Cyborg with an exposed heart, which was easily shot by a blaster. But, for a small shining moment, in the animated series, Grievous kicked so much alien ass, that Galactor was looking to hire him. 6. The Legion of Doom - Superfriends

It's almost like they know the camera is in the room!Yes, I know this is a team of Super-villains, but they moved as one. Actually, they pretty much never moved as one. But, that didn't matter either. The LoD had a much cooler HQ than the Superfriends ever had. Their HQ would rise up out of a swamp. And inside, it was just a table that fit all members of the LoD. Their leader was Lex Luthor, the mastermind. They also had Bizarro, Black Manta, Riddler, Giganta, Sinestro, Cheetah, Solomon Grundy, the Scarecrow, Brainiac, Captain Cold, Gorilla Grodd, & the Toyman. Alone, these bad guys kind of sucked, but together....Watch out!!! Actually, they kind of sucked together too. But the name, the name!!! Legion of DOOOOOOM!!! 5. Dishonest John - Beany & Cecil

NYA HA HA!You know why Dishonest John deserves to be on this list? Because his name was Dishonest John & he was still able to con people (and sea serpents). He had the word "dishonest" sitting there for all to see. But it didn't matter! Nya Ha Ha!! 4. Megatron - The Transformers

Hey Starscream! Wax my ass!If you could put evil into a robot & then boost up the evil to 11, that was Megatron. He could give two shits about human life. He was all about getting energy & didn't care who or what was in his way. He even treated his own soldiers like shit. He also transformed into the stupidest form, a gun, that only worked if someone shot it for him. It didn't matter. They were all scared of him, the good, the bad, didn't matter. Megatron was Megacool! 3. Bluto - Popeye cartoons

This big mumbling fool was all muscle. It seemed Bluto was only there for one reason, to cock-block Popeye into nailing Olive. And it worked too, because Popeye & Olive never did it. Bluto didn't need any spinach to kick the shit out of Popeye either. He could walk through walls, bend steel bars with his teeth, & toss Popeye a block away. He shaved with a razor so nicked, that a normal man would have bled to death using it on his face. And when he shaved, he had a full beard. The only questionable thing was why was he such a prick to Popeye? Bah, no matter! Bluto is one mean sumamabitch! 2. Joker - Batman: The Animated Series

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!The Clown Prince of Crime! Never mind the Calypso Joker from the 60s, or even the smeary faced dude from the new Batman movie, the Joker from Batman: TAS has them all beat. He is truly maniacal & crazy. Just see him interact with his one true "love" Harley Quinn. He could care less about her, or does he? His plans are diabolical & over-the-top! He's scary, funny, & evil to the core. 1. Venger - Dungeons & Dragons

The Force of Evil!Talk about evil. This guy wants to kill kids! His father is Dungeon Master, the creator of the Realm of Dungeons & Dragons. Does Venger care? Fuck no! Dungeon Master protects the kids. Does Venger care? Fuck no! The only thing Venger is scared of is a 3 headed dragon, that is about 90 feet tall. It's the only thing that scares him! And I bet even that never made Venger shit his pants. All the kids wanted to do was get back home, but Venger said, "No way little fucks!" and ruined their chances time & time again. Fucking with kids is evil to the core & that's all Venger did. He is truly the champ of cartoon bad guys.

[wanderingspacedragon]

Ben Solo WILL finish what his grandfather started.

So I haven’t really done metas or predictions before so this will be my first. (EDIT: I missed my whole first paragraph when pasting this over from Word. 🤨 How did I do that?)

Just not how he originally thought in The Force Awakens. I think Kylo Ren was thinking, at the moment, that he will complete what Vader had started, which was to use his power to gain control over the galaxy using the dark side. And that might have been his fate if he used the name Vader. But he said Grandfather. Before Darth Vader was Vader, he was Anakin Skywalker. What I love about Star Wars as a saga is how certain things said earlier could become something else but with a new spin later on. It’s like Poetry… it rhymes.

Ben Solo knew his grandfather was Anakin from his mother at a young age, but it was only later that it was revealed that his grandfather was actually Darth Vader. Now how much of his grandfather’s story Ben knows is still unknown, but from what we do know he did felt betrayed not being inform of this sooner. I think he has always felt there may be something wrong with him as a kid and then to find out that yes indeed there has been darksiders in his bloodline was just another point pushing him towards the Dark. I believe he most likely does not have the whole story yet of his grandfather, like how Anakin become Vader. This may be something we’ll see in Episode IX and why we are getting Prequel era stuff coming out soon. We, as an audience, need a little refresher of Anakin’s story.

Anakin started out as a slave boy who had dreams of becoming a Jedi and then returning to free his mother and all the slaves. This dream was broken because his mother died before he could save her from the Tusken Raiders which he had a premonition of before it happened. Later he falls in love and secretly marries Padme Amidala. During the Clone Wars all Anakin wants is Peace for the Galaxy. During the Mortis Arc he gets turned to the Dark Side briefly with the temptation of this dream. There is that whole notion that he's the Chosen One and destine to bring peace and balance. In Revenge of the Sith he starts having nightmare/premonitions again except of Padme dying in childbirth. His new goal was to prevent the people he loved from dying and finding this power. His quest to obtain this power leads him down to the dark side and eventually falling completely to it. Anakin fell because he couldn’t properly deal with his fear of losing others. Not like the Jedi Order helped either, in fact I would argue they helped push him further towards the dark with their whole ‘no attachments’ policy. The Jedi Order was arrogant with their suppose “superior knowledge” they had of the Force. They felt they knew what the Force really was and ignored keys aspects to it. Most importantly the connection beings form with each other and they wrongly thought those attachments would lead to the Dark Side.

Darth Vader rises from the ashes of Anakin, burying his original dreams and quests that he tragically has caused from not being able to come true. But there is hope. In the form of Luke who believes there is still good left in his father. It’s buried deep down in Vader, but not all gone. Vader dies saving his son proving this to be true, but his original ideals and dreams from the Prequels were left unfilled. The Return of the Jedi was always bittersweet for me as a kid. Luke does so much to get his father back from the Dark Side and when he finally does he dies, Luke the only person to see Anakin’s funeral. What about Leia’s closure? Did she ever forgive him? The the sequel comes along and we find out that no. And that there is still war and conflict in the galaxy.

Now this here is all prediction stuff so…

Take it with a grain of salt.

So the Prequel Trilogy showed us that Anakin’s original quest was to bring peace to the Galaxy, freeing the slaves, and saving those he loved from death. The Sequel Trilogy will end with all of these being resolved, but with Ben. This is one of the many reason why I think he will redeem himself with the help of others. In Episode IX I think we are going to see a split in the First Order. We have already seen that Kylo Ren has never really held the philosophy of the First Order and was using them for his own personal grievances that he had with his family. It’s why he grates so much with General Hux. I think we are going to see a different Supreme Leader out of Kylo Ren who may still be authoritarian, but with leanings toward compassion when dealing with others. He was struggling with his pull to the Light in the Force Awakens and the Last Jedi, but with the whole speech he gave to Rey with:

“The Empire, your parents, the Resistance, the Sith, the Jedi... let the past die. Kill it, if you have to. That's the only way to become what you are meant to be.”

Makes me think he’s may be done with the old ways being all Dark or all Light. He’s tired of the conflict both within himself and probably in the Galaxy. Now when Rey rejected, and thank goodness because like Anakin he’s going about this all wrong, he flew right back into his old ways of dealing with what he feels is betrayal. Now at the end of TLJ he’s kneeling and looking at his father’s dice. He has one last force bond with Rey and the look on his face is a man who realized he f’ed up. Badly. That’s why we are not going to see Reneperor, because he’s a different person then the person in Force Awakens and the beginning of the Last Jedi who was trying to gain balance by killing the Light in himself. That speech shows that he believes that it may be impossible to achieve balance with just choosing one side alone. Finally he’s going to be the one in control of his destiny and can decide what that will be.

Ben is going to be in this moral gray area and it won’t be just him. It’s going to be grim for the Resistance and I have a strong feeling that this grayness will spread to them as well. Before the cathartic ending we’ll get with Episode IX we are going to have to go through some bleak and dark areas. The Resistance are going to do some morally questionable things in the name of the greater good. This will cause Rey and Finn to start questioning whether this is right way to fight and win the war. There also the factor of how the Resistance will handle finding out about Rey’s force bond with Ben. If Finn and Rey separate from the Rebels I can see this being used as a way for them to meet up with Ben who could be fighting his own schism in First Order against General Hux. Hux is so going to try to pull a ‘Starscream’ on Ben, tries to kill him and take over leadership of the Order. This will cause Ben to go on the run as well and could meet/ be saved by Finn and Rey. This will cause them to work together to “save what they love.” This is how they win. But seriously there will be some humanizing the troopers at the least/some of those in the First Order to show that to end the conflict it will be about saving people not completing utter destruction of the other side. This will be a lesson the Resistance will have to learn in order to fall to the Dark side and become monsters themselves in the name of the “greater good.”

Together they start forming a rebellion within the First Order Stormtroopers with Finn leading the uprising. The Stormtroopers will have to be be saved because they were revealed in Force Awakens to be stolen child soldiers.There has to be some resolution that saves them. They can’t just died/be destroyed along with the First Order. When the troopers rebel, Ben will have some role in either helping them during or after. Perhaps during the epilogue he could be trying use the Order’s records to try and restore their history/reunite the former troopers to the family/people they were stolen from. This could be the rescuing of slaves that Anakin wished but in a subtext kind of way, but we may get a literal freeing the slaves if IX has actual enslaved people that Finn, Rey, Ben, and/or the Resistance free.

The saving a loved one from death will either be Rey or Ben using this power to save the other after a huge sacrifice. Many think this will be Ben who will sacrifice himself and Rey will bring him back. Yet I wonder if they will flip this and have Rey die and Ben bring her back. Not sure but I think we are going to see a resurrection in some form. It would fit really well into the Joseph Campbell’s Hero’s Journey.

I may add to this but it’s 2am and I’m getting silly tired here.

[starvonnie]

I want you to answer all the fanfic questions because I love your writing and want to know more about it!!! But if that is too much, than just the first 10

Dude.  Not only do I love talking about myself, I ESPECIALLY love talking about my writing, so fuck yeah I’ll answer them all.1: When did you start writing?I distinctly remember writing stories as early as age 7 (I loved creative writing in school so much) but I can’t recall if I ever wrote anything outside of school projects, so I’m not sure that counts.  I DO remember writing stuff for fun when I was 12.2: How many different fandoms have you written for?That I can remember?  Just three.  The first being Warrior Cats, then My Little Pony (though it was very few), but the only one I’ve written fanfiction for that I’ve actually posted online is for Transformers.3: If applicable, do you think your writing has improved a lot or a little since you first started writing?Oh, definitely.  Both in general and since I started posting my fics online.  I have an old FF account (good luck finding me :P) with very disjointed stories full of plot holes, and even my early stuff on AO3 seems really bad to me now.4: What was the first fic you wrote?The first fic I can remember writing was a Warrior Cats thing full of my own OC’s that I had my mother edit (YEAH, I SHOWED MY MOM MY SHITTY FANFICTION) and I even had it printed and like professionally bound with those round plastic edged things people use for reports and whatnot.  Tbh, I miss being so unbashedly proud of my writing.  I would let other people read and edit it, trying to improve.  Of course, I’m not going to show my mom my fics where Megatron and Rodimus bork but I can’t even bear to be in the same room as someone reading my fics without feeling like I’m going to DIE even if they’re doing nothing but praising me.5: What is your favorite fic you have written?Honestly?  Two Factions.  There’s just something really freeing about writing some so self-indulgent and grandiose.  I also really enjoy the world-building aspect and taking a different approach to how becoming a Prime works.  Plus, I get to make Megatron say really gay things and make everyone use SWORDS.  It’s also fun to re-imagine a familiar work through new characters and a new setting (I started pretty close to the original Romeo and Juliet but the end is quite different, in my opinion).What really stands out for this fic, though, is that I have @justroddythings beta’ing everything and I wrote and edited a bunch of chapters before I started posting so I had the liberty to change things I didn’t like without disrupting the canon I’d already made (and fix any continuity errors.... like where I had a character bust his sword and then he inexplicably had it two chapters later [it’s because the scene from that chapter was one of the first I’d written, but I still gotta fix it]).  6: Which character of yours has been your favorite to write?It’s a toss-up between Rodimus and Starscream.  They’re quite similar in their “put on this personality” while being miserable on the inside.  It leads to fun and snarky scenes that can dissolve into breakdowns where they need to be comforted (which is when I throw their love interest in).  But man... writing these two together is equally fun and intimidating, but I love writing them as mutual supports for each other.  Whether that means one is more stable and supporting the other, or both of them are breaking down but can offer the other things like “I understand, and you’re going to be okay” and that let’s THEM know that they’re going to be okay.7: Which character of yours do you most identify with (if any)?Probably Rodimus, but there’s some strong sprinklings of Megatron in there, too.  Which is one of the reasons I love writing megarod so much. 8: Which character of yours do you find the hardest to write?Well, I don’t branch out as much as I’d like so mostly any character I haven’t written.  If I had to pick one from fics I’ve already written, then Wheeljack, because I haven’t read too many comics with him in it but I’m so thirsty for starjack that I will attempt it anyways.9: If any, what music/artists do you like to listen to while writing?I find sad Maroon 5 songs to be really good background noise, but I usually just listen to whatever I currently am listening to on my ipod.10: Do you ever put any of your own traits or personality into any of your characters? Which?I do with Rodimus a lot, usually just little habits or w/e.  I like to HC he picks at his paint like I pick at my skin (as a nervous habit and just a bad habit in general).  BUT in “I Promise You” (which idk if I’ll ever finish, but I hate the title and should have thought more about it before I posted it) I basically put all of my fears and insecurities into Skywarp.  He was a very cathartic character to write and writing his suicidal thoughts or w/e really helped me work through my own (especially when he had someone there to hold him and tell him what *I* feel like I needed to hear).11: If you could take one character from your fic and put it with another character in another one of your fics, who would you want to see together?Uhhhh I got nothing because if I wanted to do it I would just do it.12: Which do you prefer writing most, description, dialogue, or actions?I used to write really detailed descriptions but somewhere along the line I set out to improve my dialogue and now I prefer writing that (sometimes, esp. if I’m stuck, I just write what I want them to say and fill in the rest later).  I hate writing actions a lot because I see in my head the movement I want them to make but idk how the FUCK to put it into words.  What Ratchet is doing in the second panel here in particular eludes me and if anyone could tell me how the fuck to describe this I would love you forever.13: If you could base one of your fics in a different location than where it is currently, where would you like it to be?Well tbh I never know how to describe the “wilderness” on Cybertron because it’s.... its all metal can I even call these things rocks??? So I guess a really lame answer to this is to set all of them on Earth so I can say there are trees and rocks and shit but Earth also sucks so *shrug*.14: Which of your fics would you like to see turned into a movie the most?Either Two Factions or Behind Closed Doors, which, when you look at them, are pretty similar stories XD15: Which of your characters do you think you would be most friendly with?I’d say Rodimus, Swerve, and Tailgate.  I wanna flop over Swerve and watch Earth TV with him.16: Are there any ideas you are currently playing around with that you would like to write sooner or later?I have started writing two multi-chapter megarod fics (one being a soulmate and reincarnation fic, the other a heatfic) but I want to finish my other ongoings (at least my megarod ones) before I denote any real time to them.17: Favorite fic that is not written by you?Hmmm that`s a tough one.  On the one hand, I don`t read as much fanfiction as I’d like to (I’m trying to rectify that) and on the other hand I love different fics for different reasons so I couldn’t just pick one.  This is a cop-out answer but I’m sticking to it.18: Have you ever written a personal experience into your fic?Oh, all the time.  Like I said with Skywarp before and I’ve written some self-insert things where I essentially was adopted by Rodimus and Megatron that will never see the light of day lol.19: Who has been your favorite face claim to use?So I google what “face claim” means and I still don’t understand.20: Lastly, take your favorite character from any of your fics and tell us 3 things you like about him/her and 3 things you dislike.Bluh this is too much work.

[vanoodle]

WHAAAAT IIII’VE DOOOOONE I’LL FACE MYSEEELF TO CROSS OUT WHAT IIII’VE BECOOOOME

Alright, so I managed to watch all of it. And now it’s time of my summary of the first movie.

the tl;dr version is: I have mixed feelings about it, there are some things worth watching but if you put them together and cut all the crap you get like 30, maybe 40 minutes.

And now the long version:

I wish I could say that this was a wild ride from star to finish but the thing is... it wasn’t. It was not a wild ride from the start, in fact it was a very slow ride at first.

Imagine sitting on a merry-go-round. Nothing is happening, you’re kinda just chilling, ready to fall asleep. Whenever you do you get a short electric shock and you’re like “???” but it goes back to being slow and boring and then, suddenly, during the last quarter of the ride, the merry-go-round turns into a fucking centrifuge and you sit there and try not to fly off and die.

So... where do I even start? I actually kind of don’t think I can even add anything that hasn’t been said or discussed before, I have heard of all the problems even before watching the movie, I watched it completely biased.

Do I think that this movie is a good movie for Transformers fans? Nnnnno. Not very. Yes, we heard it all before, too much focus on the humans, boring beginning and packing all the action into the end which makes it hard to follow, ass ugly designs, not to mention that many of of the Autobots and Decepticons got like two lines of text. That squaking sentient coat hanger had more text than any of the actual important guys and all it said was “wirezutrzwieztttwewirsfhaerfhweruw” Starscream had one line. One. I fucking hate you, Michael Bay. (yes I know he is in the next movies, I will watch them soon enough, I’m just talking about this movie now) oh and let’s not forget the Transformations that make you dizzy just from watching. I feel like I need to get off the ride and throw up. Is this a good movie for non TF-fans? Well, as far as action movies go, this is... okay, I guess. I still think there were many unnecessary sub-plots and it doesn’t do well in introducing the viewer to the Cybertronians and who they actually are, what they do. You get a vague outline “Yeah, there are Autobots and Decepticons and they fight because Megatron is an asshole”. Wow. That is what you get from the first episode of the 80s cartoon. Just with less explosions. There are many things that are either just like brief mention, a foot note, or just never explained at all and the viewer who, we have to remember, does not know about Transformers, will have no idea what is actually going on. Of course I know explaining is tedious but if the movie has time for an unnecessary romance, it has time for some explanations.

The pacing is just so so so horrible. There were many scenes I could barely even comprehend because they were over barely after they even began and I already feel I need to rewatch the movie because did not catch everything that happened. Oh but I remember Sam’s mother talking about him masturbating in vivid detail. Because that was very important.

Personally, the main problem I took from it was that MB took Transformers and tried to turn it into something that it isn’t. And what I mean by that is that the vibe you get most of the time is that this is an “Alien invasion” movie. You know the kind. Aliens invade earth, there are some brave heroes that fight against them, America saves the day once again, image of a bald eagle. But that’s not what Transformers is. Transformers is not “aliens invade”, Transformers is “aliens fight a war against each other and the new fighting ground happens to be earth” And more than that, these aliens have character, a personality, they are no just random monsters that you give one close up where they scream at the camera and then in the next scene some irritatingly American hero shoots them in the face. I always had a problem with movies with too many strings to follow because the more characters, the less screen time for each individual character. Here you can see what happens when it’s done badly.

And Transformers is just... not supposed to be about the humans, okay? It’s not. Humans are there to support, to let the viewer imagine themselves at the side of the Autobots. But humans get replaced in every continuity the only exception being perhaps Spike Witwicky. They are not important, they are replaceable props. You don’t need to fill over an hour of the movie with just them. You could have introduced the Decepticons in that time, instead of giving them a 20 seconds montage. Aside from all of those problems, this movie was just awfully American and reeked of cliches and stereotypes and I’m just too European for this shit. Why is America like this. Okay, now that I got my frustration out, let’s talk about some good things. The humor was pretty hit or miss but there were some great moments that I really enjoyed. Bumblebee was a sweetheart and I love him oh my god. Whether or not I will like a Bumblebee in a continuity is always a bit of a gamble but this Bumblebee definitely won my heart. Even if he pees on people and lets humans make out on him. OP, please kinkshame him. Speaking of OP, I liked him, too. I liked how exasperated he was at times. Tired dadbot. Also, “Oops, my bad”, I will never forget this. As far as humans went, I actually liked Sam and Mikaela. Not necessarily as het romance but as individual characters. I know, I’m surprised, too. But I do actually have a bit of a soft spots for the human characters in TF stuff, at least some of them. I can’t think of anything else to talk about so I’ll just say that even with all the flaws and everything, it did have a little fun but now I’m a little afraid because I heard that it’s gonna go downhill from here...

[shanascarlett]

Wizards from Visionaries in Hasbro Universe

I would like to talk more about wizards from Visionaries.

In my ver Merklynn more like from original series and Marvel comics. He’s on his side. Mysterious powerful wizard who can help you if you bring him smth. He has his own ambitions. The only thing he hates - annoying ppl who claim to be brave and fearless. Well, Merklynn got for you perfect quest. He doesnt hate Transformers or any alien. He thinks that they’re too primitive bc they dont know about magic.

Falkama is gonna be more dark character than in show. He has burned skin and hides his face under hood. He scares ppl with the legend “If anyone sees my face, you’ll be curse!”. His magic - dead magic. He can bring anyone back to life. This is why Darkling Lords are interesting in him. Falkama is not interesting in any conflict. And he doesnt help anyone. Falkama jelaous to Merklynn bc of power and totally disagree with him: every parent should be reunited with their dead children. BC of their disagreement Falkama doesnt work with any wizard.

Weezeasqueaza is gonna be the hardest one to be redesign. Cause I like this character for being sneaky. I think he’s gonna be like Loki from Marvel or Starscream from TFP. He claims to be on good side, but he cannot be trusted. Weezeasqueaza wants Merklynn’s powers. He claims to be his “best friend” or “pal”. But Merlkynn doesnt trust him. Sad bc Weezeasqueaza really wants his powe... I mean his friendship))))

Bogavas looks a lot like regular person of Prysmos. But dont let that look fool you. Bogavas can act like nice man. He even helps. The true nature of Bogavas is much darker than any wizard of Prysmos. Bogavas is the most dangerous wizard that wants to take over Prysmos. He even fooled Merklynn by pretending coward weak wizard. Bogavas is smart enough not to fight against Merklynn.

Heskedor was the most mysterious wizard of Prysmos. Some legends tell that she was the 1st wizard or that she was mother of wizards. Some claim that she was the most beautiful woman on Prysmos. Legends tell that Heskedor abandon her people bc of technology and went into forest. Some legends claim that Heskedor left her kids because she couldn’t stand their fight. Or the last one: Heskedor lost her mind that she decided to kill her kids but was defeated by Merklynn. Villagears tell their kids fairytale about old creepy lady who lives in forest. Merklynn didn’t confirm that Heskedor was his mother but he told that she was the 1st one.

Sirena was one of the most powerful wizards. Her magic spell could effect on anyone. She even tried to get all powers from wizards. This is why she was locked down. Without wizards Sirena became weaker. Still she had powers to go into dreams of humans. But they all were weak against guardian Keeper of Dreams. Sirena was get free and try to bring hew power back. She lies a lot and manipulates anyone by her beauty and smart. But her tricks dont work on Merklynn and Bogavas.

Elvar the Wise was the oldest of wizards (and probably 1st son of Heskedor). He was the most kind and powerful wizard. He even was stronger than Merklyn. He created 4 powerful Talismans: Air, Water, Earth and Fire. Legends say he was the one who created life on Prysmos. Unfortunately he was killed by wizard Madricain. Merklynn hide those Talismans and erased his memories, so no one would know where to find them. It clear that Merklynn keeps memories about Elvar. Probably he loved him as brother. He told that Elvar taught him everythin. According to Merklynn Elvar was Falkama’s friend. Maybe this is why Falkama decided to become magician of dead. Unknown what relationships Elvar had with Bolvar and Heskedor. Some legends tell that Elvar and Sirena were lovers until he died.

Madricain is techno-mage and nemesis of Merklynn. He betrayed wizards by killing Elvar. He was prisoned by wizards. Some legends tell that Heskedor rejected her powers bc of her son Madricain. Why Madricain killed Elvar? Legends tell bc of jelaosy or power. Madricain wanted to be even powerful than Elvar and control Prysmos. This is when they started to fight. Still unknown how Madrician escaped from prison and return his power. Some cults blame the Age of Technology. They believe that technology brought Madrician back to life. Madrician teams up with Bogovas and Darkling Lords against Merklynn and Spectral Knights to kill his brothers and sisters and take over Prysmos.

[hgfstreamchats]

Charlotte’s Web

thenightetc Hello! Starscreamapillar Greetings. Me Hello, night human! Starscream-not-human! thenightetc Pffff omg thenightetc it's TINY! Me So ruthless. thenightetc Brave cameraman survives vicious pig attack #cw gore .... Starscreamapillar So deadly. thenightetc Well, I didn't know they'd already made that joke Me If tumblr flagged the video I'm searching for, I'm going to be very very upset. thenightetc squints

Zephra85 Hey everyone! thenightetc Hello! Me Zephra human, hello! Zephra85 Oh man the moment I saw 'the good one' in terms of Charlotte's Web I hauled ass right in here Starscreamapillar Seeing something good during one of these streams will be a novelty. Me Tumblr, you joyless filth. Zephra85 Oh no what's it doing this time Me Well, onto Good Charlotte's Web it is, then. Oh no, it just flagged the video I was looking for and hid it forever. Zephra85 UGH Me The video I was looking for was *Peppa Pig.* thenightetc Tumblr thought it saw a nipple. Starscreamapillar A female presenting nipple. thenightetc From what I've heard, tumblr thinks ALL nipples are female presenting. Zephra85 Tumblr things everything vaguely pink-ish is a female-presenting nipple Zephra85 Fanart of Sparkscream is flagged now I know it thenightetc Look, Peppa's a pinkish thing with a darker pinkish thing on it, what do you want? For it to NOT see tits there? Zephra85 Clearly that is too much to ask of Tumblr now Starscreamapillar Does that mean melanin-heavy nipples are just fine on tumblr? They are not pink anymore. thenightetc It's possible! Zephra85 that was actually a thing it seemed people were experimenting and uploading/blogging/reblogging pics of dark-skinned people who were def naked/shirtless/etc and it wasn't getting flagged thenightetc Gosh, what a surprise. Me It also doesn't flag it if you tag it "sfw", apparently. thenightetc Meanwhile, tumblr is ALL OVER those naughty, naughty pictures of rocks and mushrooms and its own examples of things that won't get flagged. Expect someone to kludge that by having it flag EVERYTHING that's tagged 'sfw'. Starscreamapillar These redirects are not promising. thenightetc No, indeed. Zephra85 Because (cue 'we don't know sh*t about running a website' gif here) Having fun, Knock Out? thenightetc There, there. Me Heaps. Zephra85 Clearly Oh?? Maybe??? Me Charlotte died because the stream sites didn't work. Me Oh, you filth. thenightetc I've got one, don't know if it's the right one https://www.watchcartoononline.io/charlottes-web Charlotte’s Web | Watch cartoons online, Watch anime online, English dub anime Charlotte’s Web | Watch cartoons online, Watch anime online, English dub anime Watch Charlotte's Web online free with HQ / high quailty. Stream movie Charlotte's Web.After her father spares the life of a piglet from slaughtering it as runt of the l Me There's good on this Earth and you're it. thenightetc Thank you, thank you. Zephra85 WOO thenightetc Tip your waitress! Zephra85 thenightetc to the rescue! Zephra85 (hums along with medley) Me Tumblr flags the swelling buds. Zephra85 naturally thenightetc Tumblr has a dirty mind.

Starscreamapillar Why would she be this surprised, given she has presumably lived on this farm her whole life? thenightetc "No, because we're not raising you to eat" Zephra85 she's like 11, maybe her parents might have thought she was too young before this maybe 12 thenightetc Yeah, you're right Starscreamapillar She is going to learn a harder lesson, when they eat the pig she has named and loves. thenightetc Ewwwwwww Me Teach your children to kill something they love, because the universe isn't awful enough. Zephra85 Meanwhile when I was younger than that I was the brother. The first animal I ever brought home and begged to keep as a pet was literally a frog Zephra85 My grandma was NOT happy My grandpa just laughed thenightetc Heh. Me Mine was a tetradecapede. Zephra85 ooh what's that? Me I don't like the face he made there. Me A centipede the size of a German Shepherd. And made of various leads. Zephra85 Delightful thenightetc That's not what a birthday is. Me Just leave the cake and burning candle. Starscreamapillar Could she not put him in with the other pigs? thenightetc Whooooo is this?

Me That's my reaction to owls, too. Zephra85 A very smart pig clearly Starscreamapillar Just the sort of human to entrust with a gun. thenightetc Hahhaha. thenightetc He brought this on himself. Me They might have told her this at the start of her pig raising project. thenightetc Yes. Zephra85 I think he anticipated she'd get sick of taking care of it before then thenightetc "Do a good enough job and I'll take him away from you!" Me Literally nothing about her suggests she'd get sick of something like that. "You're a six week old pig with the voice of a middle aged man, but you speak very well." Starscreamapillar Looks what you've done, goose. thenightetc Where did he learn this Zephra85 She immediately regrets everything Me Plot twist, he was like this as an infant pig and that's why his mother wouldn't feed him. Zephra85 (SNORTS) Starscreamapillar Joyous song, then no, no I'm still sad. Zephra85 There he is the boy I love Templeton Me I'm not big on sulfur either. Not by the spoonful, anyway. Templeton speaks for all of us. thenightetc Buckethead. Starscreamapillar Spying, hiding and eating are valuable pasttimes. Zephra85 Hiding away from interaction from others and eating free food thenightetc Oh, great, a racist sheep. Me They could, very easily. Zephra85 Templeton really is an inspiration thenightetc I want to point out, people eat sheep too. Starscreamapillar As if crying about it every changed anything. thenightetc omg Starscreamapillar The cattle are not crying about their fate at the slaughterhouse. Me And the lambs aren't crying about theirs. Starscreamapillar Or the goose. Me "Shove that depression down and smile, no one wants to see that slag." Starscreamapillar I find this song offensive. Me "This is different than what the humans plan to do with you." thenightetc Heeeeeee Zephra85 Somehow Starscreamapillar I hope she tells the flies to chin up before she eats them. Me Hah! thenightetc Charlotte explaining ecology thenightetc This is just. A gr8 idea. Starscreamapillar This is how the pig loses his tail. Me He's big on including everyone in every single thought he has. Zephra85 I can't judge, I was the same way as a kid Me Hm, good point. thenightetc Awwww.

thenightetc ...Huh. Did Fern hear that? Can Fern understand them? Me Fern hears a lot of things. Starscreamapillar And if she cannot, what does she think of this interaction? thenightetc "...Yeah. Collection. Definitely not going to eat it as soon as you can't see me." Zephra85 It's human nature to just watch animals do whatever We have entire sections of the internet devoted to it Starscreamapillar I am also fairly certain that the pig would eat that gosling. Me He's doing that right now. Fern's mind is blacking it out and filling in this instead. Zephra85 Oh my freaking god Zephra85 Fern, surrounded by death regularly on a farm: Well time to repress another memory. Me That's for 35 Year Old Fern to deal with. thenightetc Honestly, I'd be freaked out if some chickens started chorus dancing in front of me. Me The foal's expression is Fern's right now. In reality. Oh dear. thenightetc I like how they drew her web. Starscreamapillar The fact is, you both will be eaten at the end of the summer. Me Did it crash for anyone else? thenightetc she CAN understand them! Starscreamapillar She can hear them... She's insane. Zephra85 It's a big laggy *a bit thenightetc This just raises further questions! Starscreamapillar It is not lagging for me. Yet. Me There it goes! It blacked out for me, ironically. Zephra85 odd thenightetc It's been okay for me... strange thenightetc Now I want to know why the brother doesn't understand the animals Starscreamapillar Because Fern is insane, and is imagining this whole thing. Zephra85 He's not disassociating regularly like fern is Starscreamapillar The artists have clearly never seen a real spider. Me Not at all. thenightetc It's artistic license.

Starscreamapillar Ah, the drug trip portion of the old animated movie. thenightetc It's de rigueur. Me It *would* go down fantastic with Steam. Starscreamapillar Where did the spider learn to write english? Me I want a nine minute montage of that human running. thenightetc Ha. thenightetc "No, no, obviously the spider, who's right there, didn't do this. It was some god!" Starscreamapillar Back before the internet, when miracles had to be seen in person. Me I read that as "in prison." Starscreamapillar Those are different sorts of miracles. Me I love Templeton. Zephra85 Legit thenightetc "Only Wilbur, though. Not the rest of you who are scheduled to be eaten." Me "Especially the chicken choir." Zephra85 Man that ram is racist thenightetc Charlotte! Zephra85 'That's what you get for not coming to my meeting bitch' Starscreamapillar We do not talk to the cat. Because. Zephra85 #Templetondidnothingwrong Me Charlotte's saving that pig's life and she doesn't care who has to die along the way. thenightetc He appreciated her song. Me "Local Schoolteacher Murders 12" was the headline he was working on. Zephra85 lololol thenightetc WELL. Starscreamapillar It is not really a new threat. thenightetc Okay, okay, the antennae are a little beyond "artistic license". Me Why doesn't she just write "Spare the pig" and cut out all the beating around the bush? Starscreamapillar She is just a spider. They are not that smart. Zephra85 If she's too obvious people might look into it

Me Better to be too obvious than too vague. Zephra85 True Zephra85 When does she eat if she's taking down her web all the time thenightetc Spiders CAN fast for long periods Starscreamapillar This is the most boring town. thenightetc And plenty of them rebuild their webs on a daily basis Zephra85 This was the time before the internet in farming lands This was legit the most interesting thing to happen around here Starscreamapillar After the first time, it is still the same pig. Me No it isn't. Starscreamapillar Look, the boy can spell. Me Hah! thenightetc So don't watch! Me Wilbur, shut up. Starscreamapillar Wilbur is terribly selfish. He'd make a fine Autobot. Me He's the very definition of one. Zephra85 THE PRETTIEST SONG Me Without question. Starscreamapillar How old is this spider? Me Orb weavers can live for several years, if the warm weather holds out and they're fed well. They usually die during the first cold snap. The country fair is held when the days are still very hot, in late summer or early fall. Just something to consider going forward! thenightetc Shoosh. Me Nothing to do with stress and not eating enough. No sir. thenightetc Because SOMEbody has scruples about flies-- Zephra85 See this goose knows how to get Templeton to work Me "Do this and you'll be well compensated!" Starscreamapillar Being paid for one's work. Imagine. Zephra85 No attempted murder , just free food Me Charlotte believes corporations are people.

Starscreamapillar That is not a joke. Me The ram isn't funny, eat him instead. Zephra85 Templeton doesn't get paid enough for this sh*t thenightetc Templeton doesn't get paid at all. He doesn't HAVE to do anything for them to stow away. Zephra85 Exactly Starscreamapillar Three whole quarters! Me They're treating him like he cured someone of something. thenightetc Those are expensive. Starscreamapillar Now that Henry is cool, he no longer needs glasses. Zephra85 'I got to actually be a kid for a while ' Me "It fixed my eyes." Starscreamapillar The most selfish pig. thenightetc Oh, he still needs glasses, he's just not wearing them. Everything's blurry as shit. Zephra85 Charlotte that's cold Me She never thinks about him again in the book. It's really...something. Funnier than the ram. thenightetc What's wrong with his eyes Starscreamapillar But by cheating, we can win. Me "Let the other pig die. The one that isn't as polished." Starscreamapillar She is very invested in this ungrateful pig. Instead of her own welfare, or that of her offspring. thenightetc Animation budget: saved! Me Cool Henry Fussy isn't using his glasses, so he trips and falls straight into the ferris wheel gears. Zephra85 Charlotte would just be like 'it is what it is' Me Wilbur's all demands, as usual. Zephra85 But at least he looked cool doing it thenightetc egg Me Goals to live by. Zephra85 And Templeton lived happily ever after Me I want him to have everything he wants. Starscreamapillar He's actually worked for his happy ending. Zephra85 He deserves it Me Everyone deserves to do this at least once. Starscreamapillar Perhaps one day. Me "Charlotte, I want something!" thenightetc ....:< thenightetc charloooooootte Me "...I mean, I am, but you couldn't look away when I caught those flies, so Mother Earth and Father Time and all that." Zephra85 Lol Zephra85 How I react to my friends/acquaintances having babies Me You and I both. Zephra85 "Hooray for them.' thenightetc Heh. Me Charlotte doesn't want to share a planet with this. Starscreamapillar He shall be killed in front of the whole of the crowd. As a sacrifice. Zephra85 LOLOLOLOL Me Got to keep that honey harvest coming somehow! Starscreamapillar Last summer? Me "Whatever state that may be. It's very red." Zephra85 Omg thenightetc You heard it here first, Charlotte is god thenightetc I'm a little distracted by that guy's moustache... Starscreamapillar Eat the pig, and gain the miracle powers. thenightetc The balding one. Zephra85 Idgaf I love barbershop quartets Me I love how everyone accepts that it's a supernatural message from their god and all he gets is a bronze medal. thenightetc Are they still going to care in a few years when the writing's stopped, though Zephra85 Can't win 'em all I guess Me Meanwhile, Uncle really does go on to live to a ripe old age as a stud. thenightetc awwwwwww, no Zephra85 Man she may have been bossy cold heartless but this scene still gets to me thenightetc charlooooootte Starscreamapillar She just climbed down there. Have the pig put you in the crate. Zephra85 Templeton has his own gift for words Monkeyshine Me It's beautiful. thenightetc his TEETH are STICKING INTO IT Me If you hadn't sicced a cat on him, Charlotte, maybe he would have grabbed you while he was up there. Starscreamapillar She is barely worth the eating, since she has not been allowed to feed. Zephra85 ... Me Because it harmed Wilbur's delicate sensibilities. Zephra85 Q_Q thenightetc noooooo. Starscreamapillar She got to finish her song. Who could ask for more. Me Here's to that. Me I'm siding with Wilbur on this one. I'd gladly trade his life for her's too. Starscreamapillar If only it worked like that. Zephra85 Beloved manure pile. Starscreamapillar And he just killed those spider eggs, by burying them in manure. Zephra85 NEVER TEMPLETON WILL BE IMMORTAL FOREVER Starscreamapillar Someone has to eat Templeton and his children. Or the farmer puts out poison. Me Templeton outlives them all. Starscreamapillar Templeton eats Zuckerman, and his wife. Zephra85 He will if there's even a shred of justice in the world thenightetc Circle of life. Starscreamapillar Fern discovers the nibbled upon bodies, and imagines an animal musical number. Zephra85 And I stand by, #templetondidnothingwrong Me Does anyone know how to fix a frozen rabbit screen? Starscreamapillar Unfortunately not. Me There's a way to yank down the current video and start a new one, I know. thenightetc Reload? Me For the second time tonight, you've saved us! Zephra85 Woo! But I do need to get going, I've got to get some dinner ready for the bf. Zephra85 Bye everyone! Starscreamapillar Goodbye. Me Goodbye, Zephra human! Glad you could make it! Zephra85 Thanks for the stream, Knock Out! Say hi to the family for me! Me Will do! thenightetc Goodnight! thenightetc The same site has this one, too https://www.watchcartoononline.io/charlottes-web-2-wilburs-great-adventure Charlotte’s Web 2: Wilbur’s Great Adventure | Watch cartoons online, Watch anime online, English dub anime Charlotte’s Web 2: Wilbur’s Great Adventure | Watch cartoons online, Watch anime online, English dub anime Watch Charlotte's Web 2: Wilbur's Great Adventure online free with HQ / high quailty. Stream movie Charlotte's Web 2: Wilbur's Great Adventure.The film opens in springti Me Three for three! thenightetc preens Starscreamapillar Good work. It would be a shame if we could not watch more pig nonsense. Me Heaven forbid we end on a beautiful, poignant note! That's not how we do things around here. Starscreamapillar No indeed. thenightetc It WAS a good movie, despite my reflexive heckling. Starscreamapillar I am not saying it was not a good movie, I am saying Wilbur was not a good protagonist. -This- will not be a good movie. thenightetc Oh my god!!!! THEY HAVE HUMAN HAIR thenightetc OH MY GOD THEYR'E CENTAURS Starscreamapillar And they still have antennae, despite just saying they should not. thenightetc Nobody told the animators Me Their mother really was a god. An unholy one. Starscreamapillar Someone put blush on that pig. thenightetc She was Lolth and they are tiny tiny driders Me Lurvy did it for reasons no one has to know. thenightetc They're YOUR kids, Templeton--those are definitely smirks Starscreamapillar So he is a coward now. Me I like how the grass is unkempt and the barn and fence are peeling. thenightetc Is it just me, or is Wilbur smaller than he was at the end of the last movie? Me Smaller and leggier. Me Well, I'm already rooting for this character. thenightetc Oh, HERE it is, predators are evil Starscreamapillar Evil, and British. Not an egg! Me Not a single egg! thenightetc MUCH worse than when humans take their eggs Me Every single day. Starscreamapillar Racism? Racism. Me And then you didn't let her eat. Me Dear Unicron. thenightetc ............. Me Charlotte regrets giving her life for this. Starscreamapillar Pain.... Starscreamapillar Also, no one cares these animals are just roaming loose. thenightetc Oh, farmers are totally cool with that. Why wouldn't they be! Me Just making a mess of everything. thenightetc Did he... hear the song? thenightetc he was whistling it! Starscreamapillar Everyone is insane now. Me No wonder the farm's in ruins. Starscreamapillar That lamb is going to die if it only eats garbage. Me Doesn't he have a mother or something? Starscreamapillar Wilbur is his mother now. Me Unicron help him. Starscreamapillar A single tomato. thenightetc She's.... wearing blush Me Why is everyone wearing blush? Starscreamapillar Lurvy also applied that. Me Lurvy takes part of his payment in the form of freedom to do this. Starscreamapillar The fair, where your mother died! You know, the best time of year. thenightetc Right? Me At least they're acknowledging it? thenightetc I guess? Me WHY THE HAIR. thenightetc WHAT. WAS. THAT. Starscreamapillar She used to have 'Talk to the manager' hair. Me Her last instruction to Wilbur was not to have her kids vaccinated. Starscreamapillar Ha! thenightetc She would never. bah, she's young, they'll grow back Starscreamapillar I hope Templeton eats that tomato. thenightetc Now if only someone would bake a giant loaf of bread, make a huge batch of mayo, and fry up a WHOOOOOLE BUNCH of bacon Me And then the sacrificial feast. Starscreamapillar You won a medal, because a spider took pity on you. thenightetc ...Man. Me You won a *bronze* medal. thenightetc OH BOY Me Here we go. Starscreamapillar This would be less fun while high. thenightetc Is this vore Starscreamapillar Not yet. thenightetc I'm gonna have a bacon sandwich after this Me Is he just blacking out while this is happening? thenightetc Well, he IS a fainter. Starscreamapillar Nope, just disassociating hard. Me Back to demands! thenightetc HA. Starscreamapillar Templeton is a rat. His life is potentially always being eaten. Me You're awfully good at thinking of yourself, Wilbur. thenightetc So... they don't talk where humans can hear them anymore? Or is it an "adults can't understand them" thing? Me This is a disaster. Starscreamapillar You are not wrong. thenightetc What are those... spots on her face "That's it! Blood!" thenightetc Does she have spider-zits? Starscreamapillar To go with her spider hair. thenightetc And she only has them sometimes? Starscreamapillar He could eat those terrible children for him. Me Make it look like an accident. thenightetc "it'll get you away from your awful spawn" Starscreamapillar Get the owl to do the dirty work for him. Me I was sure that's where he was going with that, but no, that would make sense. Ugh, that blush. thenightetc How much of this movie is he going to spend covered in mud thenightetc Oh no! Corn! Starscreamapillar Then he was eaten by coyotes. Me Much to the relief of all. thenightetc Suuuure, Templeton. thenightetc Man, Wilbur's going to end up raising those kids by the time this trip's over. Me It's one vine, you mistake. Starscreamapillar And the bear that lives in there, surely. thenightetc He's... just getting more and more covered in things Me You know, with all the pigs that presumably passed through that barn without getting a reprieve, I feel like some of them had to be more deserving of a reprieve than Wilbur. Starscreamapillar I hope he is shot for being a 'wild boar' now. Me Please, please. thenightetc Yeah, I'm remembering how this stream started Starscreamapillar Those spiders are awfully critical for useless beings that have never actually done anything of note. thenightetc ....... When did they hear about it Starscreamapillar Last night. Everyone was told. Even the pigs. Me Why is any of this happening? Starscreamapillar Because we have not suffered enough. ThebesAce Well THIS looks peculiar Starscreamapillar And everyone on every farm is a bitch. thenightetc Working how, exactly Me This milk thing is someone's very specific fetish. ThebesAce also hello Starscreamapillar He eats rotten eggs. thenightetc I thought he LIKED spoiled things Me Well, that was pointless. Starscreamapillar This whole thing is pointless. thenightetc You missed the original, now we're watching the sequel! Me Hello, Thebes human! ThebesAce ahhh, so that explains the weird child spiders with hair Starscreamapillar She has never eaten, has she. thenightetc She eats the others' scraps. Me Oh yes, I definitely like this fox. thenightetc Right? Me .......Dear Unicron. If Starscream and I were foxes and reproduced, this would be the result. Starscreamapillar I do not like that visual. Me Neither do I. But we all have to live with it now. Starscreamapillar As if things weren't haunting enough. ThebesAce this movie seems designed to provide unsettling cisuals

ThebesAce *visuals thenightetc hahahahah thenightetc Look what your son did. Me I couldn't be prouder. Starscreamapillar Time for a pig hunt. thenightetc How are those sticks staying on, anyway Me Sinister forces. Starscreamapillar The power of poor writing. thenightetc Wow. Me "My valuable miracle pig's missing, but eh!" Starscreamapillar He hasn't produced a miracle in over a year. thenightetc You can all talk. Me Ugh, it looks like the sticks are physically jammed up under his skin. thenightetc It DOES. ThebesAce Can't unsee Starscreamapillar Mm, add in that bad CGI thenightetc Didn't need a closeup of incorrectly attached legs. Me If their web isn't a disaster, I'll be very disappointed. Starscreamapillar Also, who refers to their siblings as 'girls'? thenightetc Dude Me Wilbur never bothered to teach them not to say that. thenightetc Heheheh Me Beautiful. Me It's the haircut that's missing. Got to break out those expired coupons and threaten a 16 year old employee. Me Now, I'm no expert on cows, but isn't that a sign of an infected udder? Starscreamapillar It is likely a sign of poor husbandry, if nothing else. Me "Your fall mastitis is because of your sour attitude, haha!" thenightetc Well, that just makes it awful. She's probably in a lot of pain all the time. Starscreamapillar No wonder she is cranky. thenightetc I'm pretty sure it's only mutton if it's an adult sheep Me Great job there, Mr. 108.2 IQ. thenightetc Also, mutton is red meat. Starscreamapillar Release the hounds. Me Gah, there she is! thenightetc Couldn't they just try a little harder to get his "disguise" off Me I like how he mangled one of the more touching things she said to him. They're all rooting for the hunters, deep down. Starscreamapillar They're going to blame the 'wild pig' for their cow going missing too, instead of not closing the gate properly. Should he have not killed him already? thenightetc Haha, wow ThebesAce ThebesAce you'd think. Foxes don't play with their food, as far as I can recall Me HAH! thenightetc "Oh, well, sometimes cows just wander away, what can you do" Me THEY ACTUALLY BLAMED HIM FOR THE COW! Starscreamapillar Called it! thenightetc They did! ThebesAce This message has been removed. Me "The wild pig burned down this house!" Starscreamapillar The wild pig ruined the economy! ThebesAce Ugh, wrong buttooooon thenightetc Hey, YOU'RE not going to die, you're spiders, you can just climb up somewhere and they'll all ignore you Me Oh, that was hot. ThebesAce right? Especially on a farm Starscreamapillar He is savoring this far too much. thenightetc Is THIS vore Me It is now. thenightetc Love the music they put that to. Me What predator takes a rat over lamb? Starscreamapillar A stupid one. Starscreamapillar When did they have time to make that? thenightetc How, uh Me 108.2, everyone. thenightetc How did he... tie those? With his hooves?? thenightetc Just, physically, how did he accomplish it? Starscreamapillar If this movie ends with him being torn apart by dogs, I will take back every criticism. Me I like the blatantly recycled stock sound effect from Fox and the Hound. Likewise. thenightetc "Why the heck is he green" Starscreamapillar And so they killed that fox. Brutally. Me Lot of screaming. thenightetc Oil her legs? thenightetc What? Starscreamapillar That fox is a pelt on a wall now. thenightetc ... Starscreamapillar Well, I feel dumber now. Truly the way to end one of these. Me We're sitting through the song. Because we just are. Starscreamapillar Because you are making us. Me Exactly. Starscreamapillar So many plot threads. None of them woven correctly together. It's like a metaphor, for the terrible spiders, and their terrible webs. thenightetc Technically, we could leave at any moment But we won't. Me You could, yes. But could you live with that kind of cowardice? Starscreamapillar The shrek thing was still worse. Me I don't think anything will ever be as bad as that. thenightetc True. Me "Girls, girls, girls!" Starscreamapillar I'm sure there is something worse. And we will find it. One evening. Me Someday. Someday. And that's the end. That's the note we're entering 2019 on. thenightetc I'd rather watch a movie based on one of the slings who DIDN'T stick around. Starscreamapillar Yes. Get rid of the pig. thenightetc Stuff happening far, far away from the pig ThebesAce and it'll probably be made by Good Times animation. Me Even the males living for a few months, then getting eaten. I'd take that over this. thenightetc They live it UP for those few months, presumably Starscreamapillar They probably have the sense not to adopt a whiny, demanding pig. thenightetc ...Oh, I bet it's not "stuck"--it's just in fullscreen mode or whatever it is. Bet it goes back if you click the thing in the lower right again.

Me Oh no, it's stuck. I can click on the minimize and it won't do anything. Rabbit's been acting up all night. Possibly as some form of protest. thenightetc Oh. Starscreamapillar It is unhappy with the slop you foist upon it. thenightetc : ( Me It can deal with it. Today Starscreamapillar Ha! thenightetc Oh, well. It held out for the entire movie, that's something Starscreamapillar Well, what trauma now? Me Because I refuse to let tumblr take some things away from us, and because this is the past year in a nutshell. Starscreamapillar You finally found it. thenightetc Nipples, nipples everywhere Me Not the version on tumblr, but I'll try to recreate the experience. thenightetc Hahhahahaaaa Be freeeeeeee Me The end. Starscreamapillar Perfect. thenightetc Amazing. Me Unless anyone has anything to share with the class, that's where I'm electing to leave it! Starscreamapillar I think that is a fine ending point. Me Excellent! thenightetc Thanks for the stream! Starscreamapillar Thank you for hosting this nonsense, once again. I am glad I shirked my obligations to attend. Me Oh! The one time I get to steal this from Soundwave! ThebesAce thank you! thenightetc It was great, and then terrible, and then great again. Oh?? Ha! Me Thank you all very much for coming! Starscreamapillar Until next time. Me Until then! ThebesAce See you! thenightetc Thank you, and goodnight. : ) Me Good night!