#Superman: YOU FATHER FUCKER-

[bambeebirdie]

I saw this one post a while back (the post) that was someone’s au idea where Dick Grayson joins the Justice League instead of Bruce. This makes everyone kind of think Batman is a myth and then one day he reveals Batman is his dad freaking everyone out. Just this idea but also make it a superbat fic so nightwing traumatizes the league by revealing Batman to be his dad and Superman traumatizes nightwing by becoming his step dad.

Essentially it’s just this

[xxgoblin-dumplingxx]

How does the Justice League react to Bruce doting on batmom and Dick? I’m sure they’re surprised that he’s a loving husband and father

"No, you can't do that," Bruce said, gentling his tone just slightly on the phone. "Go find her. She'll read you a story-"

Oliver looked at Wonder Woman and Superman who were seemingly unphased by BATMAN the scariest fucker Oliver had ever met talking about bedtime stories.

"I promise. She'll tuck you in just as well as I can."

"What the fuck?"

Diana shrugged, offering no further explanation. Bruce had a wife and a child- two people he preferred to keep out of Justice League nonsense.

And Clark grinned, "Bed time routine got disrupted huh?" Dick was pouting. And annoyed.

"I know she can't bend over right now," Bruce snorted. "Just pick Zitka up off the floor so she doesn't have to. And make sure your shoes are out of the way so she doesn't trip. I gotta go. Be good. I'll see you tomorrow."

Oliver narrowed his eyes as he watched Bruce put his Batman phone back on his belt, "Who let you have a kid?"

"Two kids," Clark corrected cheerfully. "How is she doing by the way?"

"Fine," Bruce said, restraining and eyeroll with difficulty. "Can we just-"

"I still don't understand who would let him-" Oliver started.

"Someone smart enough to know this is more important than your petty prying," Diana said, surpressing a smile with difficulty. She'd seen first hand the way Bruce fussed over his wife and adopted son. They were his heart. The outlet for all the feelings Batman wouldn't allow himself. And she was looking forward to this Sunday's visit to Gotham- it was always a sure fire way to get new material to tease him with when he got particularly irritating.

[chucklesbuckles]

Tim drake could be so interesting, something more than “shows up 15 minutes late with a venti espresso & designer eye bags to solve a problem that the entire bat team was stumped on” in fanons case, or “the only Robin who was worth a damn, the only teammate who was ever close to Bruce’s level” in canons case.

He was like, what? 13 when he forced Batman to take him on as robin? 13 or 14 when he belittled and put down a dead kid? 14 ish when he belittled and talked down to Steph? 17 when he fought a 10 year old and put him on a hit list?

Tim was an upper middle class to wealthy white kid. He didn’t know shit about shit. Being exposed to the wider world as Robin, and by being on teams with people from different strata’s of life could have opened his eyes to experiences different from what he grew up with and helped him to realize that he doesn’t know shit and isn’t better than others.

Teenagers are stupid and self centered, and Tim realizing that, that the things he said and did were rude and mean (in Steph’s case) or downright cruel (in Jason and Damian’s case) could be really interesting.

But fanons stuck in a “Poor tim! Little baby Tim! He’s so meek and timid!” Like this mother fucker didn’t tell Jason that he is the better Robin during a brutal beat down. And DC’s stuck in “Tim’s the best of us all! And still Robin! And will one day be Batman!” Like this mother fucker doesn’t turn into an authoritarian dictator with that mantle in the future.

I don’t like to yuck other fans yums, and I get that Tim’s Robin is a self insert Robin, but I really will rip out my eyes if I see anything even approaching ‘Dick wanted to throw Tim in Arkham’. Dick told Tim to consider therapy, for fucks sake. Or, ‘Tim could have withstood getting beaten by the Joker’. Could Tim have withstood the bomb? The bomb that killed Jason? Tim’s got special bomb proof skin and organs and bones? I didn’t even read the Damian one. What would be the point? I don’t like seeing many interpretations of that run of Batman comics on tumblr since most Tim stans just butcher Damian and blame a kid raised in a cult who was being iced out by his father for acting out. Like, Damian was a kid. A kid kid, not a teenager close to being a legal adult.

I am just tired. I want to like Tim, I want to like the canon bisexual Bat! but by god it’s hard when other characters around him are flattened to make him seem more capable, or villainized to better baby him.

Just. Read a comic. Enjoy what you enjoy, but just read a comic.

(Side note: Cass should be Batman. Dick’s the best of them all, save maybe Superman. Every Robin was great, and did an amazing job. And Damian’s still a fucking kid and deserves better.)

[gemsofgreece]

“Certain” foreigners: Modern Greeks have nothing in common with Ancient Greeks

Meanwhile, in Iliad, Rhapsody I, with no exaggeration:

Calchas: Look there’s a problem, Apollo is angry and you, Agamemnon, have to give the girl to her father to appease the god

Agamemnon: Who gives a shit about the god, why should only I give my prize back, am I the malakas of the gang or what? If you take her from me, I am gonna do the same to someone else, especially that asshole Achilles who people respect and thus must be destroyed

Achilles: WTF son of a bitch (literally) if you take my prize I ‘d rather see all our people die than help you out

A little later in Iliad, also in Rhapsody I:

Achilles: MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM

Thetis, jumping out of the sea like Harry Potter from the lake in the Goblet of Fire: WHO HURT YOU MY BOY? TELL MOMMY AND I ‘LL CUT THEIR ASS

Achilles: Mom, Agamemnon showed disrespect to me, please persuade Zeus to start killing all the Greeks for revenge

Thetis: Your request sounds totally reasonable, cutie pie, mommy will try her best

Thetis: *flies to Olympus like Superman*

And immediately after, we’re still in Rhapsody I, can you believe?

Thetis: I helped you once Zeus and now you must help me back, it’s not like I helped you out of my good heart without expecting a future payback

Zeus: can you please get the fuck out before Hera sees me talking to someone without her permission?

Thetis: if you don’t grant my baby boy’s wish you assh-

Zeus: okay so you essentially ask me to take another beating from Hera, that’s good, that’s fine, it’s not like I am dead inside already. This woman is obsessed with me I swear, she always points out how everything I do is a mistake. This marriage has been taking years off of my eternity. Anyway okay, I promise, leave now, and some other religion god help me

Hera: Zeus?

Zeus: *shit, shit, shit* Yes Hera, Goddess of Goddesses, only love of my life?

Hera: Did you do things without asking me again, you sly rat?

Zeus: I AM A MAN AND I AM THE HEAD OF THIS MOUNTAIN AND I WILL DO ANYTHING I WANT. SEE, IT’S YOUR FAULT I CAN’T STAND YOUR GRUMPINESS AND HAVE TO LOOK ELSEWHERE FOR SOME JOY, YOU STIFF SHREW, DON’T MAKE ME COME THERE

Hephaestus: oh Mom don’t get sad, this clown of a father is a well known asshole but the fucker is strong and nobody wants to deal with this, okay? So let’s all eat to the point of death if we were mortals and forget about this

*Everyone laughs at him for being disabled*

*After a fight, abuse threats, child accusing the father for neglect, enough food to kill an army and the mocking of their son’s disability, Zeus and Hera go happily to bed together*

Seriously who needs phylogenetic analysis and comparisons of Greek DNA when there’s Iliad’s Rhapsody I, amirite folks

[frownyalfred]

Forewarning: this fucker is long, feel free to skip over it

Oh man, I don’t know what you’ve got written for your coral room sequel so far, if anything, but it’s gotten me thinking about Jason coming back and Luthor’s manipulative ass and, whew.

Like imagine, Jason coming back set on revenge, furious with rage at Bruce, hearing rumors about Lex Luther tangling with Batman, and going to investigate. Lex smells him and recognizes Jason, because he’s pack. Jason is immediately like “wtf why are you pack” (maybe with some good ole slut shaming towards Bruce because the pit twists *everything* into a reason to hate Bruce). Lex smells blood in the water and immediately tells Jason that Bruce bit Lex so he could stop the kryptonian from attacking (he neglects to mention which kryptonian). Oh and Jason, Lex thought the two of them were Alphas and locked them in a room and pumped in a rut inducer to get them to fight. If he’d known Bruce was an omega he wouldn’t have done it because you know what happens when an Alpha is reduced to their instincts in a locked room with an omega… and oh Jason, he’s so sorry, but Bruce is mated to Superman now, and don’t you know? dear old pops is pregnant now. What a shame that Bruce didn’t have those kryptonian weapons he’d been stockpiling on him at the time…

Jason, upon hearing that the mating and pregnancy might’ve been forced, turns a 180 in a heartbeat as he sees green. How could he have possibly thought Bruce would have bonded Lex on purpose, when he remembers Bruce fending off hordes of alphas who wanted nothing more than to objectify and mate him? Did he really think Bruce would bond Lex, who he loathes, without some asshole in the mix forcing him to?

Jason can tell he’s being manipulated, but the sheer tidal wave of pit madness buries it and the whisper of “how could Bruce bonding Lex stop a kryptonian?” because now instead of being furiously angry at his father, he’s fucking enraged on his behalf and viciously protective in such a rabid way that it gives him whiplash.

Also I love fics where Bruce is either a woman or shares a role/dynamic with Catherine, because giving Jason daddy issues is great, but how about *double mommy issues*? Especially since in this, he’d be getting the same emotions of “I’m just a kid of a parent who’s doing their best but their spouse is abusive to them and I’m helpless to stop it” except this time, he isn’t helpless, so watch out Clark, not only does Jason hate you for the aforementioned forced mating/pregnancy, but he’s also projecting the ghost of Willis Todd onto you.

Anyways sorry for how crazy long this is. Can you tell that I finished reading coral room and the interlude, got a stray thought, and then lay flat on my back for five minutes staring up at the ceiling as plot bunnies devoured my brain before sitting straight up and typing all of it into your ask box?

I love this anon!!! So much!! @januariat and I have been going back and forth with ideas for the sequel and it’s very much this similar dynamic of an awkward pack trying to figure themselves out and also fighting like angry cats.

I especially agree about Jason coming back pumped full of Pit juices and omegaphobia. He’s torn between blaming Bruce for being weak/making the wrong decisions but also being defensive of him and aggressive toward Clark, the only alpha.

Lex is the funny but awkward element to every single relationship here. Oh yeah him? He’s just that omega Bruce forcibly pack bonded after he tried to kill Superman and start his own super pack. He’s actually not horrible to be around if you give him time (and you’re a fellow omega)

[ohlookitsthearkhamknight]

A messy review because I'm too excited right now of My Adventures With Superman EP. 5 You Will Believe a Man Can Lie [spoilers ahead]

Okay fucker who makes an entire reaction channel just to go "Nah" at everything. Bitch. Leave my boy jimmy alone.

Oh look more criminals breaking into shit with stolen tech but wait a minute. That isn't fucking red and blue like superman. Naw. Thats fucking orange and black babeyyy

Hmmm I wonder who's following you hehehe

OH HELLO THERE. Holy shit. I was scared I was going to hate his suit but I'm actually digging it. The orange is back in full force.

HELLO SAILOR. (Totally didn't get excited seeing him back I missed his stupid ass.)

Oh shit. Hello Sam hello waller 🤮. Slade what the fuck why are you the govs lap dog man come on. guess the moneys good.

Ouch. Turns out your not so invincible are ya supes

SWORD GUN SWORD GUN SWORD GUN (I want a sword gun ): )

Okay now what in the batman vs superman is this. We know the tech is Kryptonian (probably explains why Slade's swords hurt Clark.) But like. Why does sam hate him so bad WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED.

Anyways blah blah blah Slade slices a bridge (bad Slade) and Sam's like stand down we don't hurt innocent civilians blah blah blah and waller says something about zero day (again what the hell is zero day WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT ZERO DAY)

Anyways back to the daily planet where Lois confronts Clark about superman. And how does she prove it. She does what any good self respecting woman would. She throws herself off a fucking building

Anyways after that a big fight happens and they break up??? Lois is mad Clark kept secrets and Clark was scared Lois would say something. Yikes. Well hopefully that gets fixed soon.

We end the episode with Jimmy going on his big foot trip all alone. He had planned it with Clark and Lois but well. Steve was right. It's just jimmy. (Still fuck you Steve fuck ur "NAH" channel) Anyways he finds big foot. Or at least some fucking gorilla and gets kidnapped. (CLARK FIX UR SHIT AND GO SAVE MY BOY GOTDAMN)

Welp. That's a shitty wrap of what happened. I throughly enjoyed this episode. We're starting to piece shit together and I love it. I love Slades return and his suit. I can't wait to see how all of this wraps up. (Probably with Slade losing an eye). Also can't wait for Lois to confront her father because oh boy is that gonna be a shit show. Also I need Lois and Clark to get back together this hurts. Alot. Also

SAVE JIMMY DAMNIT YALL PROMISED TO GO WITH HIM AND THEN YA LEFT HIM

#treatjimmybetterdamnit

Also fuck you Tumblr you ruined the quality of my photos

[elvesandlanterns]

Ghost Helpline part 7

“What exactly did she say?”

“I’m telling you bats she just went ‘Questions cost extra’ and then the two of them just disappeared into thin air!!” Arsenal couldn’t fucking believe this, they had been talking in circles for five minutes. The girl left Roy feeling off balance, she creeped him out. There he said it she creeped him the fuck out! A part of him was so unsettled by her all he wanted to do was shoot both those fuckers and be done with it. Then he pushed that unpleasantness down and looked again. All he saw was a tired tired kid. Had he ever been that tired as Speedy? Now he was pushing all those feelings down again because now he didn’t want to kill her or sympathize with her, he guessed some part of being a father had made him weak, now all he wanted were answers!!

Tim was begging to grow worried for Bruce Batman. It was clear to Tim that he was spiraling, understandably, all security forage in the watchtower had come up as static. Glitching widely, the best picture they could capture was of the floor covered in fire Konstelacios metallic boots in the corner. There were no leads; no ancient murals, crumbling statues or off handed anecdotes in a dead man’s journal. Nothing. And according to the team on dragon watch duty there were possibly even more threatening players involved. A group of people strong enough to take down a villain that thwaped Superman like a fly. It was unnerving for Tim, which only meant it must be driving Bruce Batman up a wall. Tim worried.

—- — —-

Konstelacio arrived at Masters Manor with her friend approximately 10 minutes later. A headache forming in between her ears and a sigh escaping her.

All of her brothers ran about packing their things, “See I told you she’d be back! She’s fine.” Konstelacio didn’t bother to check which one of them had spoken, it hardly mattered.

“I’m heading down to the lab, I need to use the portal.” No one answered as she took Aragons hand and descended the steps.

“Whelp, time to face the music buddy.” She pouted, listening to Uncle Dans lecture was going to be a pain.

—— — — —-

Booster came back three days after the meeting, a whole day and a half before Captain Marvel, with a massive concussion .It was a mistake.

[fific7]

White Wedding Pt 1

Logan Delos x Reader

A/N: Alpha/Omega/Soulmate AU, based on Billy Idol’s song of the same name. This does not follow canon, it’s mainly Logan lemon zest 🍋 because the world always needs more Logan.

Summary: James has agreed to retire, leaving Logan and Juliet in charge of Delos. But there is one major condition attached… will Logan find it to be a deal-breaker?

Warnings: 18+ NSFW due to sexual content, including oral, between consenting adults*. Drinking and swearing.

*Irl, please use protection, let’s be careful out there.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

(My Photo Edit)

Hey little sister, what have you done

Hey little sister, who's the only one

Hey little sister, who's your superman

Hey little sister, who's the one you want

Hey little sister, shotgun

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Logan shot up out of his seat.

“Wait, what?!”

His handsome face - unusually - held an expression of horror and disgust. Most times you’d see either a languid smile, a devilish smirk or just plain indifference. But not right now.

He couldn’t believe what his father had just said. Out loud. For the whole board to hear.

James laughed out loud, and even Juliet smirked before quickly looking down.

“You heard, Logan,” he said, still not quite done laughing.

“How come you haven’t asked Juliet to fulfill the same condition? That’s… that’s just complete bullshit.. and favouritism and.. and.. it’s discriminatory!”

The other board members were smirking, Logan just knew they were. He was absolutely furious.

Logan heard Juliet snigger loudly and she looked straight at him, her eyes twinkling. He couldn’t resist flashing her a tiny grin … he was so pleased they were back on good terms now that she’d dumped her asshat of a husband, the charming William.

James, on the other hand… the lingering smile which had remained on his face dropped right off there and he sent one of his glacial looks at Logan.

“Because she’s not a drunken, whoring fucked up junkie, lad! You… on the other hand…” he said, pointing at Logan, his voice rough and his accent sounding broader than usual.

Logan collapsed back into his seat, “Yeah, yeah!… but not any more… rehab, remember?”

His father leaned even further back into his fancy-ass “I’m the Boss” big leather chair at the head of the boardroom table.

“Yes, lucky for you. By god, laddie… you will keep on the straight and narrow, no backsliding!… call this an incentive to keep yourself nice and clean...and well-behaved.”

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Juliet hurried to keep up with her irate sibling as he stormed across the driveway and into her house. He’d grabbed her house keys from her as she’d been taking them out of her bag, still fuming even though the meeting had been over for at least an hour.

“Lo… will you calm the fuck down!” she yelled at his back as he unlocked and threw open her front door. Luckily she had a doorstop between it and the hall wall, otherwise the door handle would’ve made a big mark there as it headed for the wall at high speed.

“That absolute fucker!” he screeched as he strode into her living area. He swung round suddenly, a guilty look on his face. “Oh… Em’s not here, is she?”

Juliet dropped her large tote onto the ground and quietly closed the door behind her.

“A bit late if she was here!… luckily for you, she’s at the afterschool club with her little buddies.”

Logan helped himself to some of her bourbon, a small measure. He held up the bottle to her and she shook her head, “I’ve gotta pick up Em later.”

He threw himself onto the sofa, and Juliet sat down next to him. He took a big gulp of his drink, “I swear.. I wish I’d been born one of those pussy Betas.”

She laughed, and put her hand on his arm, “Well.. unfortunately for you, you were born a big healthy Alpha male … which you insist on proving at every opportunity.”

“Not recently,” he grumbled, taking a smaller sip. He heaved a big theatrical sigh, “I haven’t had any in fucking forever!”

Juliet knew that his ruts had been erratic recently due to his substance abuse and it had been a blessing in disguise, really. Not that Logan had actually ever needed his ruts to get his groove on. But his counsellor had told him that they would probably return soon and as his session notes were made available to his father, James had decided that before this happened, and as a condition of his imminent retirement whereby he’d hand over control of the company to his two children, Logan would need to get married.

“You’re such a drama queen, Lo,” she laughed. He huffed, “Am I? Am I? Well! How would you like if he’d told you to get married to some fucking Omega within a month?”

“Look… I’ll do what I can to help,” she soothed, “I’ve got a contact at Los Palos Verde.”

Logan turned his head towards her, “What’s that? Some skanky knocking shop for stray Omegas or something?” She lightly slapped his shoulder, “No! It’s a retreat for high-end unclaimed Omegas.”

“Unclaimed?”

“Yes, unclaimed. Whereby they either haven’t met their soulmates yet or don’t even have one, and as highly prized females they’d be in danger if left out in the mainstream.”

Logan ran a hand over his face and up into his lush dark hair, “Fuck! This is so … so fucking… I just can’t believe he’s insisting on this.”

“I’ll make an appointment for you. It’s seriously the best retreat in California. There’s a long waiting list but my contact will get you to the head of the queue. During the appointment, you are allowed to meet and scent some of the residents, and if you feel a strong attraction or bond with any of them, you’re allowed to briefly sample them in a controlled environment.”

“Scent them? Sample them? What the fuck… you mean like a fucking tasting menu in some fancy restaurant?” and he laughed for the first time in a while.

Juliet’s face pinked up, “I’m not going into details, Lo… you’ll find out when you get there.”

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Los Palos Verde

You carefully placed your book on the little table next to your plush, comfortable chair and sat back, looking out over the vista of pine trees and palms which surrounded the enclave.

This place usually made you feel calm. Whilst it was a pretty solitary existence - there was limited social interaction between the Omegas as the Betas who ran it said that there was potential scent-mixing - there was a tranquil vibe which you adored and required. But you were troubled today.

The longer you’d existed in the mainstream without meeting your soulmate the more dangerous life had become for you. There had been a spate of Omega kidnappings by rogue Alphas who had basically placed them into brothel/baby farms where they were just basically used and used and used, forevermore.

You had no family left in the US, and the European branch had been singularly uninterested in taking you in due to some long-ago but never forgotten family dispute. When your grandmother had died five years ago - she’d outlived her children - you’d been very surprised to learn that she’d left you a substantial legacy. You were surprised because she’d always refused to ever meet you. Your father, her middle son, had got his college girlfriend pregnant and you were the outcome. Your parents had never married but co-habited, and your grandmother had been outraged by that and also because both your parents had also dropped out of college and schlepped round California in a neo-hippy kind of lifestyle.

You had been identified as a Platinum Omega very early in your life. You actually had wished over and over that you weren’t, but what choice did you have? It meant that you were the very top notch of Omegas - the most beautiful, the most fertile when you needed to be and therefore highly prized by Alphas. When it became obvious a couple of years ago that remaining in the mainstream could potentially be very dangerous for you, you’d sold your condo and along with your inheritance had had enough to buy yourself a place at Los Palos Verde for 10 years. It meant that you were safe from any kidnap attempts and the humiliation of having to take a place in one of the government-sponsored Omega Centres, which were basically just brothels by any other name, where single Alphas could go to scratch an itch or during a rut.

At the end of the 10 years, you’d review the security in the mainstream and see what your options were at that point. Some of your inheritance was in an interest-bearing Savings Bond so you weren’t exactly penniless, thankfully. Meanwhile, your stay at Los Palos Verde was all-inclusive … and also included an inhibitor for your monthly heat cycle. You were determined that you would not get pregnant until you met your Alpha soulmate. You frowned… huh… if you met your soulmate, you should say. You were beginning to think it’d never happen, and also you knew that being in the retreat limited your chances of meeting him. But if you were out in the mainstream, although you might meet your soulmate, you could just as easily get yourself human-trafficked. That was your delightful Catch-22 situation and you just had to deal with it.

And also hence the reason for your troubled mind. As part of the contract you had to sign when you took up residence here, there was a clause which you hadn’t anticipated and weren’t exactly thrilled about either. The Betas who ran the place reserved the right to put any Platinum Omegas forward should any of their VIP Alphas request a meeting. You had to agree to be scented and sampled by them if requested. You’d strongly protested but basically if you didn’t agree to it, you would not be accepted into LPV. So with a heavy heart, you’d signed your acceptance of all their T&C’s.

However since you’d been here, you’d never been approached by them about the weird-sounding scenting and sampling thing. So you’d kinda forgotten all about it. Until yesterday. One of the Betas had messaged you on the internal system and advised that you would be required to present yourself at 2 pm in two days’ time for scenting. You were instructed not to take your inhibitor, not to use perfume or deodorant, and to wear a camisole top with no bra and yoga pants with no underwear. You’d messaged back and asked why, and had received a terse reply that as per your contract, you had agreed to this and therefore you would prepare yourself without argument.

Now what in holy hell was this all about?

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Your apartment door buzzer rang at 1.45 pm the day later, and a Beta female you hadn’t seen before asked you to accompany her to the ‘Scenting Suite”, whatever the fuck that was, you thought grumpily.

This ‘Suite’ was a luxurious, calm space with long, low futon-like beds spaced out around the room. The floor-to-ceiling windows allowed green-shadowed sunlight to spill in, muted by gauzy curtains.

Your hair was tied back, and you were asked to lie down on one of the futons and then covered head to toe by the light cotton sheet so that you were unable to see anything any longer. There was no one else in the Suite when you entered, but then you heard another and then another set of footsteps, and the rustling of sheets nearby. So… three of you involved, then. The Beta’s voice said in a low tone next to your ear, “We will uncover a small area and The Alpha will place his nose on your neck. Please do not recoil or react, just lie still. If he wishes to, he will move his nose over your neck, your collarbone, your shoulder, and you will allow this.”

A few moments later, you heard the Suite door open and a low murmuring of voices. Then a louder, deeper voice, “So whadda I do, exactly?” He sounded almost sulky. More low murmurs, and his voice again, “Really? Ah, okay then.” Yeah, definitely sulky.

They must’ve begun with one of the others, you thought as no one approached you yet. Another few moments went by without any action around your futon. Then you heard footsteps which seemed to be heading your way. You heard the same Beta female voice who’d spoken to you earlier say, “And this… this is our Platinum Omega.” You heard a small snort, “What? Like.. same as a damn Ferrari or something?” Your lips involuntarily curved into a smile, thinking to yourself… cheeky bastard. Then you got mad, as you suddenly realised that that was exactly what it sounded like.. as if you were an inanimate object in a car showroom. Were they…. they sounded like they were trying to sell you to this guy??

You felt light fingers pull aside the sheet on the right side of your neck, but as the rest of the sheet was underneath your head, that was all that was revealed. You still couldn’t see a damn thing.

Then you felt a warm nose against your skin and you felt him huff in a breath. You were also able to smell him… spicy, musky, with an indescribable hint of the man himself mixed in there. His nose suddenly travelled up behind your ear then back down, further down than he’d been before, and across your shoulder to your collarbone, pushing aside the sheet as he went. If he kept on at this rate, who knows what he’d end up revealing. His nose kept travelling across your skin, back and forth, back and forth. You heard the Beta voice, “Please! Mr .. uhh… sir… the scenting is over now.”

He’d buried his nose in your hairline at the nape of your neck by this time, and he moved away. You heard a quiet, “Damn!”

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Logan stood up, reluctantly. Well goddamn, he hadn’t expected that visceral reaction from himself. He looked down at the figure on the futon. Obviously he couldn’t see much except a vague outline, as the sheet covered her completely.

Juliet had been as good as her word and got him an appointment today at this weird place, in amongst the pines and palms. If he hadn’t received a voicemail full of curses and threats from his father yesterday he probably wouldn’t have bothered driving up here. Then when he walked into their ‘Scenting Suite’ or whatever the fuck they called it, he’d been disturbed to see three prone figures on futons, covered by white sheets - they looked like they were extras in The Mummy Returns or something. Creepy as fuck. He didn’t like this whole circus one tiny fucking bit.

The first two Mummies he’d been led over to… well, yeah.. they smelled ok. Like women. You know, how women smell. Nice. OK, yeah. What was he doing here again??

Then the third Mummy. The snippy-looking Beta had reverently informed him that this was their Platinum Omega. Like she was a fucking car model or something. What was a fucking Platinum Omega anyway?

Then his nose had hit her skin. Fuck! Her scent suddenly hit his receptors like a tsunami. Rolling relentlessly over him. What was it? Musky, sweet… sex. His nose started roaming of its own accord over her neck, shoulders, collarbone, constantly scenting… and the snippy Beta had stepped closer to him, telling him it was over. He’d immediately glared at her, the Fuck Off in his glance very apparent. But then he’d remembered where he was and what he was doing and had stood up.

The Beta indicated that he should leave the Suite, which he did.. glancing back just the once at Ms Mysterious Platinum Omega. Once outside, he asked the snippy Beta what exactly that meant.

The thin lips curved up a fraction, “Why Mr Delos, that means that you have the Empress of the Omegas right there, the elite of the elite, the crème de la crème.” She regarded him coolly, “I guess she is the one you’d like to sample?”

“I don’t know what sampling actually means but whatever it is, yes… you guess correctly.”

“Sampling means you are able to use your tongue. Between her legs.”

Logan’s mouth dropped open as he stared at the Beta, speechless. Suddenly he felt the first stirrings of interest below decks for months.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Your sheet was replaced over your neck and shoulders, and a few moments later you heard more than one set of footsteps shuffling past and leaving the Suite. You were about to sit up and pull down the sheet when a hand restrained you, and none too gently either.

“You will remain.”

Where was the Please in that statement then? You huffed, “No. I want to go now, please. Everyone else seems to have.”

“Yes, they have. But you have been chosen to be sampled, so you will remain.”

“Look, just what the hell is this sampling you keep talking about?”

“Nothing unpleasant. You will find out shortly.”

“I want to know now!” you insisted, and you heard an exasperated sigh above you.

“In a few moments.”

The Beta’s hands loosened the sheet next to your right arm; there was a quick sharp scratch there and in a very short space of time you could feel yourself becoming drowsy. So very drowsy. You could feel restraints being snapped round each of your wrists at the side of the futon. “Hey! What the fuck…!” you yelled, starting to pull against them.

You were aware of the sheet being folded back over your legs up to your lower abdomen, your yoga pants were removed and then a second sheet was draped over your legs at mid-thigh. Ankle restraints were snapped into place. You tried to scream or fight or say something, but by now… while you were still fully conscious… you were unable to function otherwise. What were these crazy fuckers pulling on you? Had you been kidnapped or trafficked after all?

You heard the door of the Suite open again and two sets of footsteps approached. You heard a Beta say, “You have 15 minutes,” and the guy’s deep voice answering “Uh-huh, okay.” “You remember what you were told you can do?” “Uh-huh.” “So to be crystal clear, nothing else can or should be attempted.” “Yup.. got it.”

Two sets of footsteps left the Suite, and warm hands placed themselves where your thighs were bare. You felt stubble between your legs and a hot, wet tongue licked you before plunging right inside you, which caused your hips to leap up off the futon. You hardly had the energy to moan. He began lapping at you, alternating between thrusting his tongue inside you and firmly licking your clit. You could feel what he was doing to your body; this was obviously why they’d told you not to take your inhibitor, so you’d react appreciatively to him.

You felt him lift his head from between your legs.

“Ohhh, angel,” you him say heard, “today just got soooo much better.”

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

@obscurilicious @paracosmenthusiast

[virtualtyrant69]

Currently watching Superman 1978 and here are my reactions:

Wow, the Superman theme? Amazing, inspiring, sensational!

Why is Jor-El so old? This is the father of a baby???

Lmao get phantom zoned fuckers, Man of Steel could never with these graphics

Omg the reflective suits lol, it's like they're biking at night

Also love how the curl is apparently genetic and not a style choice on Kal's part

Omg his wife is so young compared to him??!?

1970s graphics are to die for/pos I love them so much

Again, man of steel could never

This is what happens when climate change goes too far smh 😔

Lmao get rekt krypton

Ooh 70s generic man scream! I love that one!

Wait, kryptonians know about Einstein?!

And the Chinese?

I love that that baby is just spinning

Omg Ma and Pa!!! ❤️❤️❤️

Martha's middle name is Clark??

Awww teen Clark ❤️

Oh he has such a silly goofy run

He had a stroke?!?! He's dead?!?!? He gave the worst pep talk ever and then died. Rip to you king

I also love the 1940s setting so far

Clark is such a plain guy he eats regular Cheerios (derogatory)

Love the iconic red flannel

Don't worry Martha, he's gonna visit as often as he can

Wait since this is the 40s, do we think my mans gets drafted?? Or like, since he technically doesn't exist in the USA he gets a pass?

If Jor-El has been dead for thousands of years how did he know about Einstein or the Chinese?

Wait, so 12 years have passed in this weird montage that isn't a montage?? He's 30 now?? He didn't visit his mom for 12 years? She could be dead!

Ok so he just skipped the war in his knowledge montage

Jimmy is so cute I just wanna squish his cheeks

Oh Clark is so Guy rn, he's so Average

Oh I love how he's pretending he can't open a bottle, this is so funny

Lmao Jimmy calling Perry "sugar"

Awww he sends checks to his mom ❤️ but does he still visit her >:|

I love his just some guy vibes

Omg I love him, Henry Cavill could never!! I mean, can you honestly imagine that man saying "swell" unironically?

He's such a big dork I love him

Oh ok he came to earth in '38, started his time skip in '56 and it's now 1968? Or is the time weird and it's in '78?

First day on the job and he gets robbed at gunpoint smh

He caught and bullet and then "fainted" and then he accidentally used his x-ray vision?? Man can't catch a break

Shout out to the seeing eye dog who barks when ppl try to steal/ripoff the blind newspaper seller

Omg lex just killed a guy by train

Wait, lex isn't bald? Also that woman he's with? Love her costume design, it's so slay

So is lex not a celebrity/business owner in this movie? Ok

And I've given it more thought, if Clark landed in 1940 then this movie would take place in 1970 which somewhat matches the costuming choices

Oh Clark sweety I love you so much you are such an idiot/pos he almost walked into the ladies room and he got his coat stuck in the door lol

He really is just some guy!!! waiting for the elevator

Huh, I didn't know they used to have waiting rooms for flights at newspaper offices, wack

Omg he just changed into his Superman suit and a pimp said his outfit was bad, I love this this is so camp

Metropolis just got their blorbo ❤️

*saves Lois lane and then infodumps on her* what a man, love that for him

Aww the little wave as he said bye, so cute

He just left a boat in the middle of the road lmao

Aww he saved a kitty in a tree, ajdhslsj girl just got hit for telling a lie about how a man saved her cat

Superman doing what Homelander could never

Ah the 70s, when you could smoke indoors on the job

Love Lois and her nic addiction. Also girl got dressed up for a man who saved her life once and then took off. You know what? Me too girl

"how big are you? I mean, how tall are you?" Okayyyy get it I guess, Miss Lane coming out with the real questions

Girl just asked him to look at her underwear, the flirting between them is amazing

They flew from south Jersey to New York in a romantic Aladdin-esque way

Lmao he dropped her

Love the poetry Lois is dropping out of nowhere

Man just upstaged himself on a date wow love him

Oh ok so he took off in 1948, landed in 1951, went on his trip in 1966, and it is now 1978, ok that makes way more sense

Luthor's secretary is so slay

Shout out to my fellow Native who sold bad land for an amazing price to some guy he didn't even know. Get that bag however you need to get that bag. Also, "At the stupid high price he offered for this worthless piece of desert, I hope it's Custer." Iconic!!! W for the Natives

He can telepathically change his suit??

He can drill into the ground by spinning?!??

Lex's yellow flower suit is so slay

Clark is so wet and pathetic rn, love that look on him

Wow unsolicited kiss, Miss Teschmacher how could you? You were so slay! Clark looked so sad and hurt afterwards D':

Is he pushing the plates of the earth back together?!?!? What?!?!?!!!!!

My man, Clark kent, is pushing two tectonic plates back together with his bare hands from the center of the Earth, what the fuck

Oh my God he also used himself as a rail for a train

Love the obvious miniature town and flood but also, Clark honey blocking it with rocks wouldn't work, ice breath would be the best option imo

Oh this is the movie where he flys so fast he turns back time, I want someone to explain to me mathematically how this works

Lois is such a girlboss the first thing she does when she sees Superman is rant and tell him off for not helping her. Girl. You just died to him. But still, werk

Oh he is bald! He was wearing wigs? Ok slay ig

10/10 loved this movie, it was camp, it was iconic!!!

[honeylikesfanfic]

Do not repost without credit.

Warnings: Blood, Gun, Knives, Death, Swearing, Murder and Obsession.

This short horror story was made by me as my attempt to recreate the feeling of early creepypasta stories. Enjoy.

---------

  “Breaking news! Three teens were declared missing and presumably dead this morning! 17-year-old Alex Klerk, 18-year-old Maddie Smith, and 19-year-old Abby Fredrick are missing as of 7:00 AM today. A note was found reading ‘Revenge’ written in blood on their bedroom wall at the crime scene. It's believed there's a killer on the loose in the Colorado Springs area, and it's suggested to stay inside at night and make sure your doors and windows are locked. Additionally, 19-year-old Ava Graywood has gone missing, it is unsure if it's related to the murders as there was no blood found in her room. There is an investigation going on at the moment. Stay tuned for further updates.”

—

  My peaceful slumber was disturbed, all I could see was my dark room, only lit by the moonlight that snuck through my blinds. The dead silence was eerie. My TV must have finally shut off, without the background noise I could hear the creaking of the old house settling. 

   Checking the time on my phone, I noticed it was only an hour till I had to get up for school. “Dammit… I can't sleep.” My bed let out a sound as I sat up from my comfortable position. “Maybe a snack will help.” I grew up in this house for years, I still remember moving here during fifth grade. Carefully avoiding the spots on the floor I knew would creak, I made it to the kitchen. Opening the snack cabinet, I found a box of granola bars. “This'll do.” 

   The sounds of footsteps halted my movement just as I was about to take a bite of my food. Dad shouldn't be awake… And Mom should have left for work hours ago. The noise continued. At this moment I should have run out of the house or woke my dad up, but I didn't… Carefully walking up the stairs, I found my bedroom door was open. I Know I Closed It. 

   As I slowly approached my room I noticed my once-closed window, now open. Facing away from me stood a figure over my bed, a big dark jacket covering their form along with baggy pants. A flash of light from their hand caught my attention, a knife. My breath stutters as a gasp leaves my mouth involuntarily. The figure's head whipped around to me, they had long black hair that mostly covered their face. All I could see was their bright green eyes. So terrifying yet captivating at the same time.

   I thought I was done for. I couldn't fight for the life of me, and my body would not move from my bedroom doorway no matter how much I wanted to run to my Dad. The blaring sound of my alarm broke my trance, turning on my heel. I sprinted to my parent's room to wake my Father. 

   “DAD! DAD WAKE UP THERE'S SOMEONE IN THE HOUSE!” My non-stop shaking finally woke him from his deep sleep.

   “Someone's in the house?” He heaved out of bed faster than I thought he could. “Abby, where did you see them?!” I pointed toward my room, down the hallway. “Stay here.” He grabbed his gun from his nightstand and stomped to my room. It felt like time stopped when I heard two gunshots fire off. “That fucker!” My Father yelled.

“Dad?! What happened?” Entering my bedroom I found my Father facing my window, clutching his side as blood gushed out. The intruder was now missing from my room. “Holy Shit! Dad!” 

“They stabbed me! I'm calling 911!” It felt as if the world was crashing down on me. My Dad was hurt, I know it sounds childish but I always saw him as this Superman figure like most kids do…

   The panic finally set in once I noticed a note on my pillow. ‘Revenge’ was written in bold red inked letters on a sheet of paper.

—

   “Abby, where the hell have you been?! You haven't shown up for school in a week!” Maddie, one of my best friends, clutched my arm as Alex and Ava approached from our lunch table. “Where have you been? No calls or texts, you had us worried sick Abby!” Alex said, running his hand through his brown hair that matched with his bark eyes. My childhood friend, Ava silently watched me, she was always a speak-if-spoken-to person.

   “I'm sorry, there was something that came up at home. I can't talk about it though…” Maddie shook her head. “What do you mean you can't talk about it? Is there something going on with your parents?”

   “No, it's just..” The trio stared at me with eyes of concern, I couldn't lie to them anymore. “You can't tell anyone, but someone broke into my house last Monday and stabbed my Dad. There's a police investigation going on right now, my family and I have been staying at a hotel and only just yesterday were we able to move back to our house. It's only now that my Mom is ok with me coming back to school.” The look those three gave me was something I don't think I could describe, a mix of horror and pity was warped on their faces. 

   “Abby… We're so sorry, is your Father OK?” Alex was the first to break the silence. “Yeah, he was treated in the hospital. I've been in therapy for the past week. I'm just terrified to think what would have happened if I hadn't woken up.”

   The bell rang, I didn't get to eat my lunch. Although I probably wouldn't have eaten anyway. “How about we all go out after school today? Go watch a movie or go to the mall? To help clear your mind a bit.” Ava finally spoke up, a small smile on her lips. Her black hair was in its usual ponytail. Maddie shook her head. “I can't today, I have dance practice after school today.” Ava's eyes narrowed at her response. 

   “It's fine Ava... I'll be fine.” Only a few students remained in the cafeteria. “I have to get going, talk to you guys later!” I said before leaving. I don't know if it was because of me, but the group seemed to be distant today.

—

   Ping!

   The sound of my phone broke me from my book. There was a text from Maddie. 

-

Madds: “Hey! Are you busy right now?”

ABBA: “Hey, no not at the moment. Just got home not too long ago. Why what's up?”

Madds: “Let's go to the mall!”

ABBA: “I thought you had dance practice?”

Madds: “I lied, I didn't wanna bring it up but Ava, Alex, and I got in a fight a few days ago. I don't want to get into detail though it's been resolved for the most part.”

ABBA: “Oh.”

ABBA: “I guess I could go out. Who will be joining?”

Madds: “Just Alex”

Madds: “I'll be over soon!” 

ABBA: “Alright, see you soon!” 

—

   It felt wrong to leave Ava out, I've been friends with her since kindergarten. She was always alone off in the corner of the room drawing or getting bullied by other kids. So when we both became friends I made it my mission to break her out of her shell. 

   “Abby, come on! Stop moping around. Let's go to Spencer's next!” Maddie pulled me by my arm into the store, poor Alex had been forced to hold all of Maddie's bags. I should get a few shirts while I'm here. I rummaged through the clothing racks of discounted shirts, they all ranged from vulgar to just plain fandom shirts, but none spoke to me. I found one that had an anime character on it. I recognized it from one of the shows Ava would often watch on her phone during lunch. Setting the shirt down I left to go find Maddie and Alex. There wasn't much space to move or hide in the store so I located them rather quickly. 

   As I approached the two I noticed Maddie's look of annoyance plastered on her face. “What's wrong Maddie?” She rolled her blue eyes. “Ava's being a drama queen in the group chat. She found out we're at the mall and is now going off.” Great… Don't get me wrong I care for the girl but she was a very jealous person. “It's about as bad as when we went to the movies on her birthday last year without her. Like it's not my fault she has no friends, geez.” Maddie turns her phone off, flipping her blonde hair to the side and heads to the cashier to check out. My phone started to ring, it's Ava. Great… 

-

“Hey, Ava.”

“Don't ‘Hey Ava’ me! You guys went to the mall without me! What the hell?!”

“Ava it's not a big deal, I'll get you something while I'm here.”

“That's not the point! You guys always leave me out of things! I'm hurt Abby, you're supposed to be my best friend.”

Maddie finished paying for her stuff and started to walk out of the store, Alex trailing behind her. 

“We do not! Look, we'll talk later, I just need some time away from stress. Alright?”

   There was no response from her side of the call, only the sound of the call disconnecting. Whatever, she can go pout to herself. If she wanted to, she could drive up and join us. 

   “Alright I think we should all head home, it's getting late and my folks are still iffy on letting me out of the house since the incident.” Maddie sighed. “We've only been out for two hours, but fine. Let's go.”

Alex's sigh of relief didn't escape my notice. I'm sure he was glad this was all over as well. I, however, could only look forward to sleeping in my own bed.

—

   This situation felt familiar. The silence filled my dark bedroom, the only light seen was from the moonlight that escaped through my open window. The cold wind whistled through it. It shouldn't be open, I couldn't move. Only my eyes could turn to my left to see the figure from a week ago standing there with a syringe in hand. Their face was now covered by a mask with a thin black painted smile and two closed grinning eyes.

   “You lied to me, Abby… You promised me we'd be friends till death. I guess it's lucky for you, I never break my promises.”

The syringe was placed on my neck as the liquid was injected. 

   “Don't worry, the other two already met the same fate you will, we'll all be together soon enough. This'll be painless.”

  A feeling of numbness flushed through my body as I grew drowsy, her hand covered my mouth as she raised her knife. The glint of the moonlight hit her blade before it plunged down into my neck…

—

[godofsexdrugsandrocknroll]

Green Lantern Jaune!AU

*In the middle of the Fall of Beacon*

Jaune: *To Cinder* In Brightest Day, In Blackest Night--

Cinder: *Hopped up on her ego* Really? This is the best you have, Nikos? A cheat who’s read too much manga?

Pyrrha: *Staring in horror*

Jaune: --No Evil Shall Escape My Sight!

Cinder: *Rolls her eyes, aims arrow at Jaune instead*

Jaune: Let Those Who Worship Evil’s Might, Beware My Power--

Cinder: *Shoots arrow*

Jaune: Green Lantern’s Light!

*A flash of green and Jaune’s wearing Alan Scott’s Kingdom Come Green Lantern suit*

Cinder: What!?

Pyrrha: *Gapes*

Cinder’s Arrow: *Disintegrates*

Jaune: Don’t worry Pyrrha, I got this!

-----------------

Jacques Schnee: *Blinded by Jaune’s transformation* What the devil!?

Weiss: *Sees her chance, kicks her father in the groin* That dolt, what does he think he’s doing? *Worriedly, poorly mimicking Jaune’s voice* ‘Oh no, I can’t do that Snow Angel, it’s bad enough I let you know but Remnant’s nowhere near ready for the attention of the rest of the galaxy!’ How is transforming in front of all of Vale supposed to be keeping that a secret!? *Stalks off worriedly in Jaune’s direction*

Jacques Schnee: *Rolls on the ground in agony*

-----------------

Blake: *Stemming Yang’s bleeding* I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry, I’m so--

*Jaune transforms, Blake yelps*

Blake: *Gapes at the barely visible figure of Jaune* W-what!? Jaune’s the Emerald Knight!?

Yang: *Waking, weakly* B-Blake?

Blake: *Still stunned but realizes she can’t run now, not with Yang looking like at her like that*

----------------- 

Adam Taurus: *Seething in apocalyptic fury* You again. You bastard, you just won’t stop interfering where you don’t belong!

White Fang Grunt: *Terrified of the emerald glow* Sir? What do we do? The last time we fought the Emerald Knight he nearly killed you.

Adam Taurus: *Audibly grinds teeth* We retreat.

White Fang Grunt: Sir!?

Adam Taurus: Don't make me repeat myself. We retreat. The only way we live to fight another day is if we live and that accursed blight on faunuskind won’t hesitate to kill our brothers and sisters in droves if we fight him now!

----------------- 

Nora: --EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ren: *Sighs in defeat*

Nora: *Stops, cackling maniacally* If fearless leader’s a superhero then that means we are too, Renny! *Pink electricity crackles, Nora’s eyes begin glowing pink* Call me Thundermaiden! *Lifts Magnhild*

Worried Beowolf: Aroo?

----------------- 

Velvet: *Breathes* Bloody rippa.

----------------- 

Coco: *Lips pressed together, exhales explosively* Nine out of ten. That armor is sleek, aesthetically pleasing from any angle, those pauldrons are just muah and if Arc had been born with just one more X chromosome I’d have my head buried in his thighs and he’d be screaming my name for that fucking cape. *Sighs wistfully*

Neptune: *To himself* Oh yeah, because now’s the time for a boner.

Reese Chloris: *Zipping about* Maybe focus on the badass armor later, cause if you haven’t noticed-- *Is cut off by the roar of Coco’s minigun*

Coco: Yeah, yeah.

----------------- 

Emerald: Get back here you traitorous coward!

Mercury: *Running away* Nope, fuck that! My old man fought the Emerald Knight last year, got his ass whooped up and down the Purple River and the Emerald Knight just straight up disappeared the fucker! Not only is fighting that dude suicide but I owe him one!

Emerald: You traitor! How dare you turn your back on Cinder, after all she’s done for you!

Mercury: *Rolls his eyes, kicks a Beringel at a now shrieking Emerald* Cinder offers me the chance to kill my old man. Emerald Knight wipes him off the face of Remnant. And these are the people I worked with.

----------------- 

Ruby: Pyrrha, don’t worry, I’m holy guacamole with a side of chips. *Stares at Jaune in awe* OMIGOSH YOUR ARMOR IS SO COOL!

Cinder: *Incoherent screaming*

Ruby: *Gasps at Jaune’s massive emerald longsword* Th-th-th-th-- *Goes into a pitch only dogs can hear*

Jaune: *Cuts through two more of Cinder’s swords, creates a massive riot shield to block fire* Like Crocea Mors, Rubes? *Ruby shatters glass with her voice* Just a bit of my power. Alright, enough of you.

Cinder: You dare!? I am the Fall Maiden and I will have your girlfriend’s soul!

Jaune: Uh, Weiss is nowhere near--

Pyrrha: *Slumps, mutters* Thank you for reminding me Jaune, I had almost forgotten.

Jaune: You say something Pyr?

Cinder: *Flabbergasted* Then why!? Why stand in my path!? This will only end one way, you cheat! You’re a nobody! Nothing you have can stand before the powers of the Maidens! Not your strange aura or your paltry armor!

Jaune: Because. Pyrrha’s my friend. *Pyrrha gets teary eyed*  It's not about where you were born or the powers you have or what you wear on your chest; it's about what you do. It’s about your actions. And I refuse to let innocent people be hurt in your lust for power! *Disappears Crocea Mors, creates heavy shackle constructs on Cinder and a muzzle construct over her mouth* And you’re right. The Guardians of Oa will be your judgment.

Cinder: *Wide eyed, stunned at her immediate defeat*

Ruby: *Gapes, is inspired by his words*

Pyrrha: *Stunned, happy to be alive, touched*

Weiss: *Arrives* Our hero. *Smiles* So much for secrecy, huh?

Jaune: *Sheepishly* Heh, yeah. Not sure Remnant’s really ready for the Corps. and all that comes with it but no way could I call myself a Lantern if I let Pyro Lady here get her way.

Weiss: *Haughtily* Yes, quite. *Smiles cheerfully* Well the good news is you seem to have given the others a second wind. *Gestures, strokes Jaune’s cheek*

Jaune: *Stares blankly as Huntsmen and Huntress tear through Grimm like they’re barely there, sees retreating White Fang and Atlas making arrests, mowing down Grimm; Grins* All in a--

Grimm Dragon: *Roars*

Cinder: *Eyes widen in glee*

Weiss: *Clutches Jaune’s side, aims Myrtenaster*

Jaune: AAAHHH! DRAGON! Trust in instincts!

*Giant green penis construct forms above the Dragon and slams down onto it, crushing the body*

Cinder: *Goes into catatonic shock*

Jaune: *Ignores Weiss pounding on his chest as she blushes furiously* Instincts bad!

Grimm Dragon: *Dies feeling oddly humiliated*

Weiss: Why!? Of all the things, why t-t-t-t-t-t-t-that!

Jaune: *Embarrassed, not making eye contact with a stunned Ruby or Pyrrha, defends himself* I didn’t hear you complaining last night when I made to-scale copies of Jaune Jr. so you could get spitroasted by your boyfriend! I *realizes what he just said* Oops.

Weiss: *Mortified beyond belief* I-I, you, n-no... *Sees gaping Ruby and Pyrrha, buries her face in his cape* H-he’s lying! I-I, noooo, I hate yoooooouuu!!!!!!

Jaune: I love you too, Snow Angel. *Blushes* Well, as far as official debuts go that could have been worse.

Winter: *Sounding angry and embarrassed as she stomps up the CCT stairs* W-Weiss, I’m well aware of how happy you are in your relationship but that is no reason to allow your boyfriend to advertise to the world in s-s-such lewd detail his p-p-p-his dingaling!

Yang: *Further down the stairs, sounding pained* BAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!

Weiss: *Face is a tomato and she starts kicking an embarrassed Jaune’s armored shin*

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

One: Look my Homelander avatar in the eyes and tell me Alan Scott’s armor in Kingdom Come wasn’t just made for a GL!Jaune story.

Two: Yes, that is a (very lightly) paraphrased Superman quote Jaune used.

Three: Instincts bad is a reference to a Spider-Man panel.

Four: Velvet is terribly accurate. My girlfriend is Australian and she uses ‘ripper’ regularly. It’s basically Australian for awesome.

[cunty-cuntasaurus-rex]

Ok so here is a fanfic idea I had. DC, BatSuper yada yada here we go!

Bruce’s targeted by the court of owls and dies and Talia steals his body to resurrect him and he’s stuck with the league for a lil bit, Dick is taken by the court of owls and is slowly becoming talon. Bruce manages to escape and fucks up the league a little while doing so cuz he’s pit mad and goes and most definitely and completely fucks up the court of owls cuz he’s still pit mad and worried about Dick they go home and manage to get most of the programming out but they’re never quite the same, just a little more brutal. they’re very codependent (???) but Robin grows up and becomes Nightwing. Bruce being an empty nester as soon as he sees Jason stealing is like this is my child now. and Dick is annoyed he didn’t know about his brother for so long but he’s so happy! ok so he was annoyed at first but he didn’t even try to kill him or seriously anyway and they got close and then Jason died. the joker dies cuz like Bruce has found the self control to not kill indiscriminately but that fucker killed his son yanno. and the pit stays in your head but he doesn’t try to bring him back. i think he considers using the pit on Jason but ultimately decides not to because he’d have to deal with the league and they’d all probably be their prisoners or something i dunno. so Talia comes in steals Jason’s body and revives him in the Lazarus pit and poisons him against the family or at least tries to. I’ve decided in this world instead of adopting Tim only a few months after Jason’s death he takes him in like a year or two later. Jason stays with the league for let’s say 5 years and meets Damian during that time. They become brothers during his stay. Like this is part of the reason Damian hates Tim so much because he’s like first you took my brothers place, and then you took mine, f u. Anyways Talia hears about this and is like yes I can bring him fully onto my side mwahahahaha. So she does and it works and is like finally I can get back at Bruce and sics him (Jason) on the new Robin hurt comfort with Jason realizing he’s becoming his worst nightmare by whaling on Tim, the batfam gets through to him and he goes home. Stay a drug lord vigilante though. They don’t talk about it at family dinners tho. Then Damian comes along attacking everybody and only getting the drop on Tim cuz he hasn’t been training as long and they realize they fucked up. Jason takes the forefront and helps explain “the rules” to Damian and how they’re different from the league. And they’re all happy family

K so on to Clark, our dear Superman. So I like to think in this world the justice league was formed just before the start of this story (bruce dying) so they’re not close and this is more comics verse so nobody knows the bat’s identity. Clark and he we’re getting kinda close but weren’t really yet and he had like a puppy crush on him. B disappears and clark is sad and tries to look for him but can’t find him. ( As a side note Alfred is saying bruce is on a long trip and that he took dick with him??? I dunno but they’re accounted for someway or another. Or their deaths were announced and Alfred had some tricks up his sleeve to make it look like b&r were still out there??? We’ll hand wave it away) can’t find him but he moves on a bit. Like he had a crush on Lois anyways but he still held batman in his heart. He ends up becoming friends with Alfred because he still looks for Batman and that’s how he finds out his secret identity.( Batman knew cuz he searched for the all of the JL’s. He’s paranoid like that) but finally he goes to visit Alfred and hears heartbeats very similar to theirs. Knocks Alfred let’s him in and boom it’s them. So B and Clark grow closer but Clark thinking bruce isn’t interested and really loving Lois, stays with her. and then Kon comes into existence. Clark is terrified but also like I’m a father now. Lois isn’t as with it but she does her best to be there for Clark and by extension Kon. But it’s also kind of obvious that she isn’t really jiving with it ( Lois should not be a villain in this story) She and Clark are growing apart and Clark is going more to Bruce and while they were best friends there’s more of a romantic undertone now but they refuse to acknowledge it and Bruce isn’t letting the kids say shit and is ignoring Alfred. Lois and Clark have still been doing the do and now there’s gonna be a baby. And it’s Jon and Lois wanted this baby k, but the longer she has him she sees that she’s not the motherly type and she and Clark aren’t too close. Everything with Jason happens and Damian comes and is best friends with Jon.

It really starts because of Jason. He’s back and he sees that uncle Clark isn’t really in love with his wife tho they are best friends, and is kinda nostalgic and remembering he and dicks 115 step plan to get him and his dad together. Talks to his siblings about it and d is enthusiastic, Tim wants to spend more time with Kon and same for Damian. They hope it doesn’t come to death for Lois if only because of Jon but if it happens oh well they’ll comfort him. And they’re bat kids so they’re just as sneaky as their dad. Bruce is forcibly oblivious cuz he does not wanna know and is enjoying the time with Clark and Clark is just like it is healthier for me not to know what his kids Bruce’s kids are up too. And they get a divorce Clark and Lois because the spark just isn’t there but they’re still best friends. And the kids make sure it’ll be permanent. Maybe not with murder.

The End

anyways TLDR: the whole point of this is that dark batfam are conspiring to make Clark their step dad and are perfectly ok with killing Lois if it comes down to it.

[wolfflock]

Reactions to Superman and Lois S01E11

“To further our Kryptonian heritage.” What a weird way to say eradicate humans.

BABY CLARK LOOKING FOR THE FORTRESS, YES 🥺

So he dropped the stone and the Fortress was made there? That’s cool 😅

First time meeting his birth dad, and then the MUSIC 😭🥺

Baby face Tyler is way cuter than I expected, probably because his 5 o'clock shadow is still indestructible and coming through, no matter how much he shaves 😂

Harry Potter and Friday Night Lights double feature. So… this is set in 2004 then?

Erik’s baby face is too much, how can he look like an overgrown teen??? 😲

So Clark went away to Metropolis/self-discovery as a kid, and he was into/dated Lana before that. And by the time he came back. Lana was engaged. Did I get it right?

Crying about heartbreak to Ma Kent, my heart 🥰🥺

He got the suit that mum made for him, yessss 💜

Shirt rip sceeeeeene!!!!

And tying back to the green car save scene, how great! That was a nice touch.

OH GOD, MY THIRST TRIP STARTS HERE: fumbling Clark trying to get a job 🥺

AND THAT FREAKING SMILE, being proud of a school paper ahdhahai

“I need cub reporters, not lost puppies.” THIS SHOW IS FEEDING STRAIGHT INTO MY CLOIS KINK FODDER puppy Clark hdhahajakakjd

Clark helping Lois, yusss. Leaning in close over her shoulder, coffee dates (and Tyler’s nose scrunch!), reporting together… him looking at her with serious heart eyes…

Blushy Clark is just pure gold. And Lois flirting with him and making him blush? Even better.

And Lois got a slow-mo when looking at Superman, same as when Clarksaw Lois for the first time!!!

Lois fucking tasered the tin hat guy like a badass, MAD RESPECT

Aww Clark being multilingual again. “ALL OF THEM.”

I like that they mentioned what he stands for is “the American way”

Okay, I have no idea who this producer at the TV studio, Janet, is, but I need more of her. Totally picking up on Superman having the hots for Lois, telling it straight to Lois. MORE.

HE OVERHEARS LOIS CONFESSING HER LOVE TO CLARK AND TURNING SUPERMAN DOWN FOR CLARK. If that isn’t love…

And Janet also catches Superman listening in. I LOVE HER

Clark bringing Lois home, yiiisss.

AND THEN THEY FUCKING SWITCH TO TYLER’S GIGANTIC BICEPS well okay then 🥵

Also, he’s doing the dishes, something that’s been his job for at least 15 years, okay domestic service added to kink list

The elevator kiss, I GOT THE STEAM I WAS WISHING FOR, YISS!!!!

Sgagahjajfhaj HONEYMOON BED SCENE you fuckers are trying to kill me here!?!?! His damn HAIR AND CHEST AND CHEST HAIR

FUCKING FUCK FUCK FUCK 🥵🥵🤤🤤 I DIED

WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED AT THE FORTRESS?!?!?!?

Is this where the multverse comes into play??? That’s why he’s losing time?

“Is that a… you know?” CLARK, SWEETIE, IT’S CALLED A PENIS AND YOU HAVE ONE.

Also, I am really glad to have a Clark-heavy episode. I’ve been waiting for this.

EDGE, YOU FUCKER, WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO CLARK??

Getting his memories and finding out about his sons, that’s what.

Edge took HoloGramps from Clark, shit… that is not gonna go well.

I love that Lana and Kyle are now up to date on the Edge stuff. And that Kyle is hopefully (🤞) realizing Lana and Lois have been right.

The three kids, having a serious moment. So cute.

AND THEN A KISS. Awwwww.

Kyle apologising, okay. I can get behind that.

Uncle Morgan nooooo dgagagagsfa

“Pledge to me that you will submit” FALALALALALALALA 🙉🙈🍆🍑

And Clark has to join Edge to save his family 😂

“We needed more time. He was right.” WHO. TIME FOR WHAT? Clark has a plan, right?

Young Edge with his emo hair and scarf, though 😂

Edge’s father is a delightful person, no surprise Edge is a dick, too.

I am not crying, you are 😭😭😭

LOIS CALLING JOHN HENRY, YESSSSS. End of his creeper van trip and time to get Superman back, doing it with Lois! OR IS IT DIGGLE????

HO MY GOD THIS WAS SO GOOD. I AM SO PUMPED FOR THE NEXT EPISODE in 3 weeks, fuck.

[sortasirius]

50, Bucky and Steve

AN: Oh hell yes

Words: 1202 (self control?  idk her)

Warnings: idiot 40s gays

Link to OG post

Prompt me up

50. putting a hand over the other’s mouth to shut them up

“You’re being so stupid right now, you know that?” Bucky stage whispers at Steve, covering his six, “Why can’t we ever just, I don’t know, wait for backup?”

“Because we are backup, Buck,” Steve points out, sliding around a corner and taking out the sentinel at the end of the hallway with one clean shot, “Plus, who would ever want to mess with us?”

Bucky surveys Steve’s broad back, the way his uniform strains against his muscles, the way sweat slides down his neck and into his shirt. He plays up the banter, it’s a lesser distraction than Steve’s appearance.

“Mess with you, you mean?  You look like King Kong coming around corners now.”

“You’re just jealous that I’m taller than you.”

Bucky bites his tongue, preventing the retort that wants to come to his lips reflexively.  I’m just jealous I don’t get you all to myself anymore.  He would never say that, never admit to that, because Steve was never his anyway.  Only in his dreams, right?

The sound of yelling in German breaks him out of his thoughts, and he’s watching Steve disappear around the corner.

“Fucker,” he hisses, immediately sprinting to keep up with him.  It’s easier to do that than he would have thought, since Austria Bucky is the only one who’s been able to keep pace with Steve, not that he’s complaining.

Okay, warzone, right.  Cover Steve.  He’s always got to have Steve’s back, whether he’s Superman now or not.

Thanks to Captain America, forty Allied troops are freed from cells in the basements below the massive HYDRA weapons depot that is blown to hell as soon as they’re clear.

They celebrate their victory at a miraculously open bar at the little town near base.  Steve is nervous, constantly straightening his tie and making sure his uniform looks clean in the reflection of a pint glass in front of him.  Bucky listens to the loud, almost jarring music of the bar, the chatter that surrounds them, a stark contrast to the quiet walk back to base, where there were only whispered conversations and the sound of the wind whistling through the trees.

“You’re going to rip that jacket if you keep straightening it like that.”

“Well you look like you just rolled out of bed, formal uniform too good for you?”

Bucky lights up at the prospect of more banter, it’s one of his favorite things to do with Steve, something intensely personal and private, something just between the two of them.

“Need I remind you that I was captured only a few weeks ago, it’s not like they’ve shipped me a new dress uniform, not all of us are the golden boy.”

Steve’s mouth does that little quirked smile, the one where he really likes something Bucky’s said but wants to hide it for the sake of the game.  Completely unrelated, Bucky feels like there’s sunshine in his chest.

“I’ll get to the sewing machines, can’t have you looking like a bum in the middle of this fine establishment.”

“You always were good at the housewife chores,” Bucky smirks at him, knowing it’ll turn Steve red.  He didn’t mean it of course, Bucky grew up with three siblings, he knew how to sew before he was ten, but a good jab at Steve was worth a white lie, even though both of them knew the truth.

Before Steve can retaliate, a pretty nurse comes up to him, asking Steve if he likes to dance, what kind of music he likes at home, if he has any plans for the evening.  Bucky hates the way his heart twists in corrosive jealousy as she bats her lashes at him, hates the way he can feel his mouth twist, knowing that Steve would misread his face, think he was jealous of him, not of the girl allowed to so brazenly flirt with Steve.

He’s mine, he thinks, wanting nothing more than to possessively take Steve’s wrist and lead him out the door, away from prying eyes and too-loud music.  But he’s not his, he can’t be.

Steve looks like a deer in the headlights, and Bucky laughs a little at the way he’s so flustered.  No one seems to notice or care that he’s awkward when he flirts (or tries to).  No one notices the way his brows knit together when he’s thinking too hard.  No one cares that he picks at his nails when he doesn’t know what to say.  They see Captain America.  Bucky sees Steve.

Apparently, the nurse gets the hint after a couple of minutes, and departs with a huff back to a table filled with other nurses, wide-eyed at her bravery to come and try and get a date with Captain America. Steve still looks like he’s just stared death in the face.

“You really need to up your skills,” Bucky informs him, “Don’t worry, I, as the resident charmer, can teach Captain America a thing or two, if you think you can handle it.”

He gives Steve an exaggerated wink and claps him on the shoulder, letting his hand linger there just a second too long.

His words are double-edged, he knows that, but what he doesn’t expect is for Steve to stand fluidly, and drag Bucky out the back into the dark alley of the bar, where the only sound is the muffled music and chatter inside and the faint whining of a street lamp on the corner.

Bucky’s about halfway through an absolutely hilarious quip about Steve still running away from women, when Steve’s hand is over his mouth, and he’s being shoved against the brick wall of the bar in the dark alley, unable to make any kind of sound against the warm skin of Steve’s palm against his mouth.

“You have never learned to shut up,” Steve sighs, replacing his palm with his lips in one fell swoop.  Bucky can’t even react, he can’t do anything but stand there, one hand wrapped unconsciously around Steve’s forearm, the other hanging loosely at his side.  He can’t breathe, he can’t think, he can’t feel anything but Steve’s lips against his.

Steve pulling away from him feels too much like a heartbreak, and Bucky reacts without thinking, pulling him forward by the lapels of his dress uniform, kissing him over and over and over again.  He feels Steve smile against his mouth, feels one hand in his hair, the other at his hip, grounding him, preventing him from floating up into the atmosphere and away from this too-perfect moment in a damp alley behind a bar.

Bucky had heard his mother say once that breathing was easier when she and his father were together.  He had never understood that more than when he was kissing Steve.

“Well,” Steve huffs, looking unfairly good with pink lips and mussed hair and a blinding smile on his face, “I guess I do have better luck with partners now.”

“You’re an idiot,” Bucky pulls him closer again, “I’ve always wanted this, just took you growing a foot and putting on a hundred pounds to realize that.”

Steve gives him the kind of smile that makes Bucky’s chest ache, and they don’t talk for awhile after that.

[tenseoyong]

Hellooo, how are you? Hope you are safe and healthy.

So, I came across this dude on Instagram and his posts make no sense to me. And I thought 'What would liz think about it?'.

The link:

1) https://www.instagram.com/p/CNnSmzcA23J/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

2) https://www.instagram.com/p/COaVn9MgT-a/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

I see a lot people making covid-19 a life and death issue. Yes, it is but it is more than that too. My father got infected with it in the month of April this year and fortunately he escaped it alive but it effected his lungs forever. He used to walk a couple of kilometers previously but not anymore. His diabetes just makes it worse.

I hope mask hating covidiots realize this.

And this man thinks the government is turning authoritarian because it's asking us to wear a mask but at the same time let's force a pregnant woman to carry the baby to term.

You getting an abortion affects no one but you but an virus infected person refusing to wear a mask is endangering people's lives.

Sorry for the long ass post.

i hate when any man opens his damn stupid mouth.

survival rate? ok you may have a very good chance of living through it, but it’s the after effects that are going to fuck you for life, like you mentioned your father. i think it was more to do with scaring the public, wear the mask or you may die! because people (specifically americans) have this idea that just because it can happen, it’ll never happen to me. yeah old people die, but im young and healthy so im basically superman. until you’re not.

open the schools. okay, more likely to die from the flu. so how about we not sacrifice any children to potentially die for the sake of a gatcha! moment. better yet, why is it acceptable to mass infect the population with an illness that causes so many deaths yearly?

the microchip is just making my head spin stop.

lowdown’s don’t work, yeah because there’s always a few fuckers that don’t follow the rules.

i can feel every brain cell i have turning to baby food with each slide why must you torture me.

everything a man has to say about abortion is so easily dismissed if you talked to literally any pro-choice person ever.

24 week old baby. brain isn’t fully developed yet. nor are their lungs. their inner ear is just now fully developed. 65-70% survival rate. literally no person says that the fetus isn’t ‘human’ what kind of crack does he smoke?

it’s a human. at some point it’s developed enough to be called a baby. but it’s not it’s own person, it’s codepended on the birthing parent. it cannot live on its own.

i do appreciate they always include ‘disturbing’ pictures of fetuses. yeah it’s gross to look at a barely developed creature. who woulda thought.

it is, and never was about children. or saving lives. they aren’t protesting at frozen eggs being thrown out and the lives ‘wasted’. they aren’t adopting any of the children that are born and then given up after forcing women to go through birth. they don’t care about the lives of women lost from self performed abortions.

my favorite videos are the people arguing with the hecklers outside of planned parenthood—asking them what they do for the children in foster care. do you foster children? no? hm. do you donate anything to children in need? no? huh. do you volunteer your time to help children abandoned find their place in the world someone forced them into? no? oh. what are you doing to change the strict rules and expenses it takes to adopt a child, keeping many children in the system when there are families unable to provide the thousands of dollars it takes to go through the adoption route? nothing? funny. but you have all the time in the world to stand outside and terrorize people making one of the scariest and hardest decisions of their life. right.

it’s nothing but their need to control women’s bodies, and push their religious fear mongering.

[dc-earth53]

Nightwing (Dick Grayson)

Age: 31

Occupation: Police officer, adventurer

Marital status: Married

Known relatives: John Grayson (father, deceased), Mary Grayson (mother, deceased), Bruce Wayne (adoptive father), Damian Wayne (adoptive brother), Jason Todd (adoptive brother), Cassandra Cain (adoptive sister), Helena Wayne (adoptive sister), Koriand’r (wife), Mar’i Grayson (daughter), Jacob Grayson (son), Komand’r (sister-in-law), Ryand’r (brother-in-law).

Group affiliation: Titans, Gotham Knights, formerly Justice League of America, Outsiders

Base of operations: Bludhaven, Gotham City, New Jersey

Height: 5’10”

Weight: 175 lbs.

History:

31 years ago: Richard “Dick” Grayson is born to circus acrobats Mary and John Grayson.

25 years ago: John and Mary begin training Dick in gymnastics, and he joins their act: “The Flying Graysons.”

19 years ago: 

Gotham City crime lord Tony Zucco murders John and Mary during their act, sending them hurtling to their deaths from the high wire. 12-year-old Grayson is adopted by Bruce Wayne, who was in attendance that evening.

Grayson sneaks out of Wayne Manor to investigate the murder of his parents, and is nearly killed but saved by Batman, who he discovers is his adopted father.

Afterwards, Grayson becomes Robin, Batman’s crime-fighting partner.

18 years ago: Alongside Aqualad and Kid Flash, Robin helps found the Teen Titans, a group of young superheroes who felt ignored by their mentors.

17 years ago: Barbara Gordon debuts at Batgirl, and Grayson develops a precocious crush on her.

13 years ago: 

The mysterious Raven brings together Robin and several other young heroes as the New Teen Titans, to combat the threat of her father, Trigon.

Dick meets Koriand’r, a former alien princess who had been taken into slavery and escaped to Earth. The two quickly fall in love.

12 years ago: 

Grayson is shot in the shoulder by the Joker, and retires from being Robin, moving away from Gotham to attend Hudson University. Soon afterwards, inspired by old Kryptonian legends told to him by Superman, Dick takes the identity of Nightwing.

Nightwing re-joins the Titans to help them fight against Deathstroke, the Terminator.

11 years ago: Grayson, along with Earth’s other heroes, fight against the Anti-Monitor.

10 years ago: 

Grayson is shaken when Jason Todd, his replacement as Robin, is beaten to death by the Joker. He takes a temporary leave of absence from the Titans.

Grayson meets Tim Drake, a fan of Batman and Robin’s, who petitions him to become the new Robin. Grayson refuses, but encourages Drake to take the role himself.

9 years ago: After a long battle against the Wildebeest Society, Dick proposes marriage to Koriand’r, and she accepts.

8 years ago: Dick and Kory are married, although circumstances conspire to keep them apart. Dick returns to Gotham, where his relationship with Batman is on the mend after Batman’s back is broken by Bane. 

7 years ago: 

Dick and Kory settle down in the beleaguered Bludhaven neighborhood of Gotham City, which is soon shaken by an earthquake that renders the city a no man’s land.

Dick and Kory have a daughter, Mar’i.

6 years ago: After leaving the Titans in the capable hands of Tim Drake, Grayson is tapped by Batman to lead the newest incarnation of the Outsiders. He accepts.

5 years ago: Grayson and Kory part ways, as she’s recruited to fight in the war between Rann and Thanagar. Grayson, meanwhile, adopts the identity of the Renegade to infiltrate Lex Luthor’s Secret Society.

4 years ago: After a mission to Oolong Island goes very wrong, Grayson turns leadership of the Outsiders over to Kate Kane, the Batwoman, and returns to the Titans.

2 years ago: Batman is seemingly killed by Darkseid, and Grayson takes the role of Gotham’s main defender until Bruce’s return, fighting in broad daylight with a variety of allies by his side.

1 year ago: Dick and Kory’s second child, Jacob, is born, shortly before Kory travels into space once more with the Justice League.

Present day: Shortly after Kory’s return, Dick is seemingly murdered by Rose Wilson, as part of a cover-up to infiltrate the Leviathan organization.

Commentary:

Dick Grayson. Nightwing. The successor. Batman’s greatest success. The Batman who laughs... okay, maybe not that last one. (note: there is no Dark Multiverse in this canon, you’re safe from that fucker.) Dick Grayson is by far my favorite Bat-family member, and one of my favorite DC characters in general. 

This version of Dick is sort of the anti-Batman: where Bruce is paranoid, Dick is trusting. Bruce operates in the shadows, Dick prefers the light. Bruce pushes away those who aren’t in his inner circle, Dick is second only to Superman in how many people get along with him. You get the idea. In taking in and raising Dick Grayson, Batman achieved his stated goal: making sure that he wouldn’t end up like him. Instead, Dick is a well-adjusted adult with lots of friends, a family of his own, and a job he loves.

(to the tune of “the Election of 1800″ from Hamilton)

Starfire or Babs! If you had to choose, if you had to choose...

Dick also is a major part of what’s probably my most controversial change to the canon in this universe: his wedding to Kory gets to go through as originally planned way, way back in the early 1990′s, which permanently ties Dick to the DCU at large rather than confining him to Bat-family stories (which he still takes part in a decent number of). This reality’s Barbara Gordon retains much of her pre-Crisis history, making her significantly older than Dick is - the only remnants of their relationship here are a little bit of a precocious crush from young Robin. I don’t hate DickBabs, but I prefer DickKory, and this is reflected in the timeline here.

(And yes, despite continually being separated by their jobs, Dick and Kory have a wonderful relationship, built on years of mutual trust and companionship. A couple doesn’t need to be together all the time to be a couple, after all.)

Dick really only has one iconic costume, and that’s Discowing, I mean- um... yeah, it’s the black suit with the blue bird emblem on the front, specifically inspired by the Young Justice cartoon version. I’m not convinced anyone really liked the red New 52 Nightwing costume, and Ric is definitely not the answer. Agent 37, however... hmm...

Next up: Psimon, then at long last Zatanna!