โฆ (leto, ker - for now!)
"Little minx. Come on, I couldn't possibly have a secret boyfriend without a girl to share it all with. My sister kept my secret yet I believe couldn't understand any of it. When I think back Ker was even smarter than me when it came to build shenanigans not to get caught by SIster Elizabeth. Everything was fun with Ker, pretty much all the time I don't remember a moment of us not whispering and giggling to ourselves - even in our Janus phase, God. It slowly changed as we approached graduation. Ker has always been a fervant believer, she has always prayed a little harder and a little longer than me. i got surprised for her to be one of the Swans not affiliated to a family but as time passed, I believe I understand why. Mother's favorite swans are the most devoted."
"Disconnected. That boy, he stood... still. Yes, let's remember all the fights that would break between Janus, that assface, and Minwoo. Of course the crows love a good brawl and you know what, I do too. Just not when it comes to Minwoo, I never liked anybody messing with him. I would throw myself in there first chance I got just for Janus to back off. If he can beat a crow up, it's death row if he ever touches a swan so, I had nothing to lose. I will never forget how Leto always stood in the way, not cheering, not stopping any of this, but watching, I had to push him to get into the circle, yelling at him, Jesus, Move! It was in the heat of the moment, I appreciate Leto, he just always seemed... Out of place, disconnected."
"Gentle. Keres's skin is gentle. I like the way it does glowd under the sun in the meadow when we are together. Her voice. It is gentle too, music that I love laced with the lullaby of mine. She is, has always been, will always be my best friend, my dance partner. As a new world seemed to have opened to our sisters , only Keres and I have been left in our own. My sorrow to have lost Gayane has been grand and yet I could not be more happier as I found peace and safety in my Keres presence. I adore it when we lay down together the most. When we fall asleep together, as well. I do not dream of what tortures my mind at night, my sleep is peaceful when by her side."
"Target. I do correlate the level of humanity to the level of potential betrayal in a Crow. There always has been empathy in the eyes of a being like Leto. I have read his medical file enough times to understand the techniques used on the first generation of crows did do the wonders they were expected to. It happened to be a matter of time before the bells ring, as the crows and the dogs got unleashed in the forest to chase after him. Many couldn't possibly believe, mistaking his behavior for cowardice like many before him - they couldn't be more in wrong. I always knew his predominant humanity will make him a target. It must have taken braveness then for him to take the decision to go and run. How unfotunate - he must die, still.
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i got my isbn today for the book. 8 months to go. my mom and i were talking about what the next steps are. i was eating trail mix, standing on one foot, phone tucked into my ear.
"yeah," i said. "the problem is that tumblr as a market is like, not something that can be studied." there's this weird wave of nostalgia and affection for this place that came up over me: how lovely we avoid consumerism. okay, it sucks as a creator. but also? keep stickin' it to 'em.
my mother made the sound at the back of her throat that i also make, the one that means i've got an idea. "you should figure out some kind of reward for presale amounts. maybe you give out poems or a mug or a signed book or something. would your followers like that?" my mother is sweet, and kind, and i have no idea how to explain on this website you can buy someone crabs.
i put more m&ms down the hatch. i had to speak through peanuts and almonds. "if it passes 25 thousand i will print the book out in its entirety and eat it live on camera."
"oh god. no, you don't have to do that." she was anguished. "just tell them that you'd love them to read it, and that they've inspired you to write. you got started on that site, and they helped you keep going. raquel, you love these people. the community? you talk all the time about the other writers and artists and whatever else. tell them that you're hoping for their support, they'll come through."
"no," i assured her. i discovered i had dropped an m&m, but an ant had already found it, so it belonged to him now. i will let his little life have a surprise blue treasure in it, too. "i'm gonna fuckin' eat the book."
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i can see the trio dangerously driving to or from a party. theyโre speeding down the empty road, the new future album blasting from the speakers of topperโs jeep. kelce is up front, and reader and rafe are in the back. reader is a bit drunk and rafe is high out of his mind and canโt control his feelings for reader so he starts getting touchy with her, maybe trying to kiss her. since youโre just starting this au out, iโm curious to know how do you think reader would react and if she did kiss him back, how would topper and kelce react?
the last line of coke was a mistakeโit made him lose the last bits of his self control. it was clear that he was way too high to drive, even though it seemed like rafe always drove clear-headed or not, so you were assigned babysitting duty in the back.
top was on a rager today, even worse than his usual ones. whenever him and sarah started fighting, he got like this, currently blasting some future song at the highest volume possible, speeding through the streets of kildare. you would be a little scared, except kelce is driving while topper nurses yet another beer in the passenger seat. you're deliciously drunk, still gone from the drinks you had at the party, not a care in the world except making sure rafe doesn't keel over in the back.
you mumble along the words to the song, pretty much engraved in your memory from how often it was played. you don't know how it happens, your fingers just find rafe's hair, brushing it out of his face while he talks to top and kelce in the front, amped up and loud, acting as crazy as you've ever seen him. you giggle, continuing your motions.
topper begins some rant about his girlfriend, or rather, his ex, while rafe locks eyes with you. it's hard to keep eye contact, looking away the second rafe shuts up and focuses on you completely. you're never shy around them but this might be the closest you've gotten.
you feel rafe's hands on your exposed thighs, your tiny skirt ridden up in the seat. his touch feels good, in your drunken state you don't think there's anything wrong with it. he's just being friendly, being touchy, being rafe. he strokes the soft skin of your legs, running his hands down to your ankles, while you shift around in the back. all it would take is one look from the boys in the front to see that something's going on back here.
"rafe, listen to top he's talkin-"
"shh," rafe says, noise completely overlooked by the others, nothing audible except the thump of the bass. he takes your face into his hand, leaning in close. "shut up for a second." he kisses you, briefly, barely, lips touching together and your eyes fluttering shut, when kelce slams on the brakes. the two of you fly apart, your heart thudding for an entirely different reason now.
"what the fuck, kelce, my brakes-" top starts.
"it was a deer, you idiot. you guys okay?" he turns to look at you and rafe in the back, your face flushed and rafe's hands still on your legs.
"fine," rafe mumbles. the four of you head back to tannyhill, you crashing on rafe's bed like always while top and kelce take the guest room down the ball. the two of you are out before you can bring it up, but rafe doesn't forget about it.
in the morning, you stretch, the oversized shirt of his you'd put on for the night riding up. rafe doesn't wait another minute.
"so, about last night. in the car." he looks at you, waiting for your response.
"oh, rafe, don't apologize. it's okay. we were both pretty gone."
"m'not apologizin', i-"
"and i mean, who hasn't been there once or twice-"
"once or twice?"
"and i kissed kelce that one time, so i guess-"
"you kissed kelce?" rafe looks at you like you've committed a crime.
"what? it was new years."
"where the hell was i?"
"i don't know, probably sucking some girl's face off. i was busy making out with kelce, remember?" you laugh, getting up and looking for your clothes. rafe lays back down on the bed, deciding he's never leaving you alone with kelce ever again.
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