#THE SIZE DIFFERENCE MANNNNN

[givelightningherharem]

square was still so crazy for this

[little-paperhat]

big spoon -> little spoon -> even littler spoon

[ageless-aislynn]

Aislynn's Absolute Screaming, Crying, Flailing Thinky Thoughts About Halo s2ep8

Under the cut since its the finale and I don't want to be That Person who spoils a finale for anybody if I can help it 💖

First thing: KAI, my baby, noooooooooo

Okay, do I love the Halo games? So much. So, so much. Did I know what actually adapting them would mean would happen in the live action show, especially since s2 clearly wanted to pull closer to the games? Yep.

Did I want to see characters I've come to love, appreciate or love to hate get infected by the Flood? HECK NO.

However, the fact that the Flood spores were much smaller than their game counterparts (Evil Cabbages with feet were my initial thought of them when I met them in Combat Evolved the first time 😂🤷‍♀️😉) was a definite win, IMO. Obviously they couldn't be germ-sized in game and you be able to shoot them. But just the visual of them being smaller and much more virus/germ-sized made them a bazillion times scarier because they felt more real in that way to me.

Why do I watch so many zombie things? Zombies FREAK ME OUT SO BAAAAAD, MAN. And the body horror, dude. Ohhhhh, I can't with the body horror and people getting mutated and... UGH. Yet I've made, like, half a dozen Alien/Prometheus vids. I AM A CONUNDRUM, what can I say? 🤷‍♀️😂

Now, ever since Vannak died, I've been trying to figure out how we can, you know, bring him back to the show. I still don't know how it could actually be done but one thing I do know is that KAI COULD TOTALLY BE FOUND INJURED BUT ALIVE. Her Mjolnir can protect her from deep space, so it could have totally protected her against a big KABOOM, too. Her body is intact, she wasn't vaporized or whatever, so that's my story and I'm sticking to it. *nodnods very seriously*

I think I'm going to have to either invent time travel or cloning to save Vannak, though. Give me a minute. 🤔😉

If we do get another season (or 2 or 5 😉), I'm wondering if they're really serious about Silver Team being gone, if we're going to get Blue Team, then? Mannnnn, I don't want Silver to be gone, though. I've fallen so in love with Kai, Riz and Vannak now, too!

I'm kinda glad that not-Thel!Arbiter wasn't Thel because that was a good ending to his storyline, with Chief's "I know what he said" and finishing him off. Obs, though, I don't want Thel to have met the same fate.

Makee's line about being a demon, too? That was a good one, yep. Still annoyed that John's first question to her last ep wasn't "Um, hi, nice to see you and how is it that you're alive?" That being unanswered was just one of those clearly "because we changed showrunners," things.

John and Cortana (now in his suit), together again, YESSSSS!!!

Hello, Guilty Spark! If this is Gravemind they're talking about, they NEED Dee Bradley Baker for the voice. Just, no question, don't even think of casting anybody else.

John doing that badass "fight through the smoke and haze to save the day" made my fangirl heart go pitter-pat, what can I say? I'm easy to please, lol!

In summary, I did love s2 in a different way than I loved s1 and I hope we'll get news of a renewal ASAP!

Also, Kai's fine, she's just having a little nap, no worries!

[hanasnx]

Vader makes my head go burrr

He’s such a big burly mannnnn lord he just towers over you. Your just hunched over working flipping switches or something and he comes up behind you and just towers over you. You can feel your head slightly touch his chest as he’s just standing there, perhaps leaning over to help fix something as you look over at him slightly blushing, as he is completely unaware of how his size is affecting you…or maybe he does know and uses it to his advantage 😏

vader gives me the sense that he already uses his size to intimidate whoever is unfortunate enough to be on the receiving end. everything is at his disposal to make someone fear him. you have a different emotion that stirs every time he is within your atmosphere.

it takes him a second to catch on because he’s so used to drawing out fright, but instead you exude a sort of affectionate aura when he stands so close to you. it doesn’t take long after that for him to deduce it’s because of the height difference (combined with everything else that you love about him, but how he dwarfs you is so obviously adored by you)

of course he takes advantage of that. he wouldn’t be vader if he didn’t. standing directly behind you to stoop over you and correct whatever you’re doing wrong. “no, no. do as i do.” he purrs in your ear as his deft fingers make quick work of the damaged panel, showing you how to correct exposed wires. “less likely to sustain injury this way.” he veils the two of you with his cape, and you feel a corner of his indicators on your shoulder. and you’re rubbing your legs together and looking up at him with your big doe eyes and pressing your lips together. your heart beat is quickening, your whole body screaming at you…

he picks up on that.

[smolwritingchick]

What will Jennie think when jungkook gets more buff / bigger

Mannnnn. 🫠

7 days a week 😭💯 On a more suggestive side, the way she’d be so ready to have his kids when seeing any photos of him while enlisted and seeing him in person during his breaks. But they both made the decision to try for a baby once he’s discharged. Like immediately after he comes home. She’d already have the night planned and the set she’d wear underneath her casual clothes to welcome her husband home

Fact of the matter is, Jen is going to be in trouble when he officially comes home even more buffer 🤣😂 as soon as they make it home, door locked and immediately all over each other. He’ll put that strength to good use in the bedroom as she gets the Mario coins knocked out of her 😭😭 thank goodness for soundproof walls 🫡

And speaking of him getting buffer, that reminds me of that shirtless photo of his back at the gym. JenKook will definitely be more unfiltered as the 2020s hit. With lots of flirting online. So I see Jen making a random comment to him on Weverse by saying, ‘I see them back scratches healed.’ Which would freak out fans.

OK on a more PG side of this answer, they’ll definitely take a ton of gym selfies and work out a lot together as the years go by before he enlists. They’ll sometimes do couple workouts and throughout all of this she will witness first hand on his progress which will impress her.

Of course she’s used to seeing him 24/7 but as she sees him getting buffer and feeling all that muscle, she’ll compliment him a lot which will make him feel good about himself. The way she’d grip on his arms and try squeeze them lightly to get a feel and he’ll just let her haha.

As he continues to get buffer, she’ll ask him how big is he trying to get and that she wasn’t complaining.

“Your shirt is tight as hell, you sure this is your size? Didn’t you just buy this?” She’d ask when his muscles are bulging out of it. Especially when he’s wearing a buttoned shirt and the buttons are threatening to pop. It’ll surprise her how he’ll outgrow some clothes because of him getting bigger.

I also feel like she will love being in his arms even more as she’s embraced by him. Especially from behind. The piggyback rides and him carrying her will hit different with him being bigger. Jennie will feel loved, safe and secure no matter what with Jungkook 💜❤️😁

[alketaire]

ce lore pseudo-liveblogging under the cut

link to an upload post

started with the osiris logs. always fucking stoked when ikora and ophiucus are doing their thing.

he can’t even say Sagira’s name nooooo ;_; IKORA CAN’T EVEN DESCRIBE HOW HE LOOKS AT HER SHELL NOOOOO TT_TT

and then he’s a tea snob lol ofc. if you hand osiris anything he’s prob encountered it in at least 320400 timelines, he’s a ___ snob all day every day

we’re at a 2-harrumphs-per-page consistent rate so far, most excellent

significant discussion so far of potential ways both Sagira and Savathûn could be brought back. HMMM.

ooh, use of “katabasis” in the mythological sense as a metaphor for what Osiris thinks Savathûn might have gone through, neat

why is Osiris mumbling to himself a point of worry, he’s been talking to himself for three kajillion years. plus he’s mumbling about inanna and i am ALWAYS down for more sumerian mythology in media

lol Ikora and Ophiucus talking again is great bc the second one of them agrees with the other they switch sides and keep arguing, love it

-

ok on to calus! dan said this one has people in an uproar which. the woman is a civilization of problems in a 500-pound bag, i think i’m ready *immediate missing mom* oh no.

baby caiatl slip slidin around you deserved so much better than the everything ;_;

oh, cool, specifics of uluran biology/history/culture! love it except this family is still a fucking nightmaOH JESUS CHRIST WHAT THE FUCK

ok why is Umun’arath the least insane person here

wait. wait. WAIT THE FUCKING SECOND. THIS SEEMS TO IMPLY THE PSIONS ARE THE ECUMENE. WAS OXA MADE FROM TAOX. I THOUGHT THAT SHIT ON REDDIT WAS PURE SPINFOIL BUT WHAT THE FUCK

this whale riding shit sounds like if you asked calus what he thought “drunk driving” should be

aw MANNNNN i wanna turn into a monument of solid bone when i get too old

gotta say all the like uluran worldbuilding so far is just. cool as fucking hell. lithium-carved cave art would be super shiny for a while compared to the oxidized rock surrounding it. shame torobatl and the uluran homeworld wherever it is are fucked.

speaking of cool as fucking hell, caiatl, empress of ‘rip to my copilot but im different’

lol @ calus smooshing his face through a model of the Almighty as he throws a drunk tantrum at umun’arath. he’s, uh, not wrong tho?

glad that caiatl and dan agree about ghaul’s voice. that man could be telling you to go to the corner store for milk and you’d be ready to duel someone to the death for the last carton of lactose-free 1%

OOOOOOO THE GHOST PRIMUS WHO WILL RESURRECT OUR EMPIRE HOLY SHIT HOHOHOHO guardianghaulsomehowplease

mood whiplash, am now crying

so MUCH fucking light imagery around ghaul, cmon now

aaaaand ahamkara. fuck’s sake. do we - OH NO. oh shit. caiatl empress of being fucking BORN paracausal!!

fortunately, she is caiatl and spends the entire next page going “yeah fuck all this bullshit” because a wish for someone to love does not mean a wish for someone who won’t be your downfall lol

omg cabal fantasy football i’m DEAD

-

on to the elsie book! i have known tokki for two lore entries and three paragraphs and i would die for her

oh so cloudstriders are uluran-sized. neat.

hmm. wonder if pouka’s communication works that way with guardians. or even non-exos, for that matter.

oh so elsie knew there was a mega-human out on a station near pluto two four years ago but nbd, what is this fish thing?????? ig it helped her learn stasis but ma’am really?

lol after a bunch of people being all like ooh hive magic is the next darkness class ooo! nah brah hive magic was fancy stasis the whole time

OH NO. yeah fuck that timeline elsie. ooh THAT timeline fucks though

ooh so does that one! mara with stasis yes please

OH POUKA IS AN EMOTIONAL SUPPORT DARKNESS FISH, VERY COOL

the image of elsie breaking out of stasis prison shouting SCIENCE is pretty good, not gonna lie, but for a second i thought it was gonna be ALLAHU AQBAR and that’s also pretty fuckin good

man i knew the brays were all fucked up but “i didn’t in hundreds of years think of just loving my sister (eta: WHO SPENT TWO LIFETIMES DESPERATELY SEARCHING FOR WHAT IT MEANS TO BELONG. IF YOU DIDN’T NOTICE.) like a normal goddamn person until i was threatened with death over my need for total control” is a pretty big L, elsie

[40sandfabulousaf]

大家好! Like everyone else, I have food cravings except they're not for fastfood. I haven't eaten tomato egg la mian (hand-pulled noodles) for some time. All of a sudden, I was reminded of them and had to have some, because, why not? Back it was to the stall owned and operated by the middle-aged couple from China. Ahh, those vibrant colours and chewy noodles! A very long queue formed in front of the stall as I enjoyed my meal. Looks like they're doing very well and they deserve it. Their dishes are delicious!

We had some crazy hot afternoons this week. What can be better than conveyor belt sushi for WFH lunch? It's moderately healthy, delicious and quick and keeps me cool in this insane heat. Off it was to a popular restaurant chain for some bite-sized yumminess. I chose tuna gunkan which came with chopped tomato, shoyu tuna (admittedly a wrong order because I wanted maguro), conger eel, botan ebi (giant shrimp), squid, 2 servings of salmon belly and a green tea. The first order of 5 plates and green tea were served under 5 minutes. Now THIS is MY kinda fastfood. YUM!

ML had been raving about the Hakka yong tau foo stall she frequents for quite some time, so this week, I finally joined her, SC and MI when they went to get their fix. The moment I saw they offered meepok amongst other types of noodles, I was sold. There were only 4 pieces - stuffed bittergourd, brinjal, fu pi juan (tofu skin roll) and tau kwa (firm tofu) but they were pretty large. Mannnnn, this was DELICIOUS! The pork stuffing was perfectly seasoned and had a bouncy texture, their chilli sauce was divine, the light clear broth was tasty yet not too salty and meepok is always yummy. Definitely something I wanna have again.

I hardly buy sterling silver jewellery because they tarnish easily and require more regular cleaning than solid gold. Because my wrists are small, bolo bracelets are pretty much the few types of bracelets that fit. Yeah, inclusivity and all, but I find it too emotionally taxing to have to demand that stores cater to my size. More fun and less stressful to shop around and discover gems in different places. Anyway, there aren't many bolo bracelets in solid gold here, so I turned to sterling silver which I can wear with athleisure outfits. Whilst at it, I also wanted to support local small businesses. Well, I found my bracelet and bought earrings too! I didn't opt for gemstones so that cleaning would be easier - just dunk them in cleaning solution, rinse, pat dry and voila! These gleaming pieces are so lovely. Can't wait to wear them.

I haven't written much about the genocidal war in Gaza simply because events are unfolding so quickly that by the time I post, something new has happened. But I follow the news as well as continue to pray for the Palestinians. Perhaps what is happening to Biden is the punishment he deserves? May parties supplying weapons to Israel all feel the power of God's wrath. Thou shalt not kill. 下次见!

[tuffmallowinteractive]

Speaking on Nice Things:

A Tuff Mallow update 8/1/22

Have you taken the time to look back over the past three years? I hope when and if you do, you congratulate yourself for making it through. It has been a very difficult time for so many. I'm glad you're here and I hope you're well 💗.

I had to look back over the past three years and realize I'm doing way more than I thought I was. I've accomplished more than I realized I have and now that I'm revving up to share things with everyone, I'm actually proud and humbled as to where life and game development has taken me.

First of all,

Let's discuss The Closet Door! MANnnnn THIS GAME! I have so many emotions about it. It started as a little side project, and already it has grown into a full sized game with two mini holiday DLCs planned (I already finished one of them and plan to release it publicly this fall! 👀) I spent a lot of time fixing and trimming and adding script, CGs, sprites and redesigning the UI. I'm finally at a place where I'm like OK. TIME TO CLEAN THIS BABY UP AND RELEASE IT IN THE WILD. So I'm plugging any holes in my script and already adding assets to the code- we're in the final countdown now and I'm full of so many emotions about it- I can't even express them all. Just know a lot of love has gone into Faun and the gang. I truly love all of it for everything I could give it.

Coming Soon page is up so you know it's on now!

The demo page is gone, but the official full release page is up and ready for the countdown!

The next thing that may surprise you is that I am halfway through production of a related game as well. This game is called Lake of Reflection, and it is shaping up to be a visual novel/ interactive fiction hybrid that stars two unseeming protagonists finding their way through helping and healing on the heels of tragedy and trauma. I'm in the process of hosting a casting call, as there will be partially voiced lines in this story, which takes a slightly different direction from my usual storytelling design. This small game will most likely be released sometime late 2022 and only range about 20-30k words. I'll be sure to update everyone on the progress.

Lake of Reflection title screen

Also!! Sunset Memory Sunrise Promise is still on the rise in my dev tasks! It's already turning into less of a lone project and more of a collaboration involving so many talented individuals I am fortunate to meet let alone work with! I'm really excited to be moving towards the development of this game. I have wanted to work on this game so long and it has taken a lot of learning about myself as a developer and storyteller to get to this point. As The Closet Door finally comes to a full release, I will be actively working on production for SMSP with gusto and introducing you guys to all the amazing talent that will be responsible for ultimately bringing it to life. Keep your stations tuned in! There's so much to see coming up!

...Not what I meant by so much to see Demetri...

We have come so far

And it keeps getting better! There will be some pretty cool media creations releasing with insight to the games and their backstories, so I will definitely ping you on those as soon as they drop!

I'm also sitting down to revamp the Patreon and give it the professional love it has deserved all along. I can't wait to show you guys what Patreon and Kofi will look like starting this month 💕🔥💯

And uh... There's a comic I have been designing? And plan to release on Tuff Mallow website- (which is a thing!) as soon as the website is up and ready to share with the public- still working on responsiveness and fluid design that says "Marshmallow, but A Tough one". When I do, I can give you more info about these guys and the shenanigans they get into!

Your Wish or Mine~ (details soon!)

Thanks for sticking around and I promise to keep doing my best to create and release the works you guys have been inspiring me to make over the years. Things are about to move fast and I hope I can keep up! Either way, I'm better for the ware having you guys along for the ride with me!!

Stay awesome and I've got more posts coming up!

~AlwaysJmB

[chelseyroseblog]

WORKING THROUGH MY FIRST PANIC ATTACK

APRIL 19, 2018

Mannnnn oh mannn you guys. 

This is something that I definitely never thought I'd be writing about. I honestly didn't know if I was going to be able to write about it at all because the thought of it would start to speed up my heart rate but it's been about a week now since it happened and I think I'm feeling better...or at least good enough to talk about it. HA, we'll see if I can get through this post....

So have any of you ever had a panic attack before?

I never had. I've had anxiety here and there but not to the point where it was debilitating. Panic attacks and anxiety attacks are apparently different so to jump from having a little anxiety every now and then to having a full blown panic attack was terrifying. 

So as a lot of you know - over the last few months, my schedule has been really insane. Waking up at 5:30 am 5-6 days out of the week, working late nights anywhere from 3-5 nights a week and then going to school, working out, and health coaching in between. 

MAY 3, 2018

Haha, sooo apparently I wasn't ready to write about it. I got that far before I started to feel my chest getting tight and I had to get out of the house. Since my panic attack happened while I was home alone, I couldn't STAND to be home alone. It happened at night though so I thought I could deal with being alone in the middle of the day which was when I was writing that last post. 

My boyfriend mentioned that he was going to go run some errands which I figured would be fine, but as I heard him getting ready and getting closer to leaving, I started to get more and more tense sooooo here we are 3 weeks later. 

BUT, GOOD NEWS! 

I'm currently home alone now and I'm A OKAY. 

I still wanted to come back to this post though because when I started talking about it on Insta - I got a lot of feedback from you guys talking about how you've had them before and you were happy that someone was talking about it. 

I was so surprised to find that SO many people around me that I talk to on a regular basis have had them too! It was really comforting for me during that time because after the attack, I honestly felt so scared because I had experienced the feeling of actually losing my mind. 

So if you've never had a panic attack before, I think it's important to know about what can trigger it, and what may happen during the attack. 

BEFORE PANIC ATTACK (THURSDAY)

For me, I was severely sleep deprived. BUT silly me wanted to get work done so I had a double shot of espresso with a teaspoon of a new product this company sent me. The nickname for the product is "dopamine bean" and the serving size was a 1/4 of a teaspoon. I thought it was like any other product I have - something that would just give me some energy so I had some, but I had a teaspoon. No biggie I thought. 

I think like 45 minutes went by before it was 8:30pm and I was STILL friggin EXHAUSTED. That was when I said screw this and got ready for bed. 

I laid in bed, home alone, and tried to fall asleep. I couldn't get comfortable, I couldn't relax my mind and I kept feeling hot and then cold. So I turned on a meditation that I typically LOVE but it was annoying me SO bad. 

UGH. WHAT THE HELL, I thought. 

Then I figured I would take a little hit from this weed pen that a friend gave me. I typically can't smoke because it makes me paranoid but I had had this one before and it was very helpful in times that I couldn't fall asleep. 

So, I hit that twice really quick and laid back down. I think maybe one minute passed before the combination of the coffee, dopamine bean, weed and sleep deprivation hit me and I JOLTED up in fear that I was in sleep paralysis. 

DURING PANIC ATTACK

I was terrified and had to get out of my bed IMMEDIATELY. I turned on all the lights and felt my heart pounding against my chest at what felt like 300 miles an hour. 

Then this is where I started really going downhill and I felt very nervous and VERY vulnerable to tell anyone what I was thinking during the next hour BUT once I finally told one person, they were able to relate, and then suddenly I realized that everyone I spoke to who had had a panic attack was able to relate and I found a lot of comfort in that. 

So - I willlll tell you. 

Once the panic attack started happening I felt like both sides of my brain were communicating with me EXTREMELY FAST. It was like non stop thoughts back and forth over and over and over and AND OVER AND over again for the next hour. 

One side of me would think, just BREATHE, you're having a panic attack, call a friend, it's okay, everything will be fine. 

And then this is where it was scary. 

The other part of my brain was thinking, hurt yourself. Jump off the balcony, Do something insane. Don't have anyone over. Don't talk to anyone. You WANT to hurt yourself. 

It was absolute HELL. 

I couldn't understand why I was thinking such insane thoughts. I couldn't understand why this was happening to me. 

I called my boyfriend but he was at work and then ended up calling my friend in SD. While I was talking to her my legs started shaking uncontrollably and I had to lie in bed. I wanted to feel like I had someone with me so I asked her to stay on the phone with me but I honestly didn't feel like talking much. I was SO hot then SO cold and couldn't stop shaking so that was making it hard to speak anyways. 

My friend was trying to be as helpful as possible by just asking me questions and telling me about her day but I actually didn't want to answer questions or feel like I had to listen to stories. Again - IT SUCKED. 

While we were on the phone my boyfriend called me back (this is probably like 30 minutes into the attack) and he tried to get me to calm down and asked me if I wanted our friend to come over. 

Part of me was thinking YES. YES please hurry, I need someone here before I go insane, get them over here asap. 

The other part of me (and yes I realize this is crazy) was thinking NO. ABSOLUTELY NOT. You can't even stand to walk to the door of your room, how are you going to walk all the way downstairs, through the parking lot and to the front to let someone in? What if you do something crazy. What if they start annoying you and you tell them to leave? Then what happens from there? 

Mind you - this was all the thoughts going on in my head. Meanwhile I'm not saying anything more than "uh...um...I don't...maybe.." to my boyfriend. He was about to tell me to text him if I decide what I wanedt to do before I finally managed to blurt out "YES, get Steph over here. Hurry".

Stephanie is a good friend of ours and she did everything right. Before coming over she googled "how to talk to a person having a panic attack" where she realized that she needed to be veryyy calm, and not judgmental at all. She nailed it haha. 

I managed to take 7 big deep breaths while I was putting my shoes on and walked to meet her (slowly) at the front of the apartment where I like leached on to her, haha poor thing. She noticed how much I was shaking because we talked about it later but she didn't mention it when she was walking back up with me. 

She asked me where I wanted to chill and made me some calming tea and turned the tv on for me. We kept the lights off because that felt too aggressive for me and she kind of just told me in a really calm way that she was there for whatever I needed and then didn't try to spark up conversation. 

That was the best. 

It was like 10:00pm by the time I was able to eat a little something and feel myself relax. It was like taking my first big deep breathe in months then letting it out and feeling SOOOOOOOOO exhausted. 

AFTER THE PANIC ATTACK 

I felt like I came out of a crazy ass dream. Again I was just sooo effing tired. I mean, I was already tired before the whole episode even started so you can imagine how I felt after. I was able to start having actual conversations with Steph without feeling like I was tense or out of breath and then we both calmed down over a glass of red wine which was THHHE BEST. 

THE NEXT DAY (FRIDAY)

I felt far from myself. I was VERY irritable, and then happy, and then irritable, and then tired, then REALLY TIRED. I was forcing myself to get in the sun and walk along the beach just for the purpose of raising my endorphins but all that ended up happening was me forcing myself to smile, avoiding eye contact with people and wondering when I would feel normal again. 

I even went and got a burger and an aperol spritz and read my book by the beach because I figured that would be a form of treating myself and feeling good, which it did! But by the time I was driving to work which was only about an hour later - I was down again, and stayed that way for the rest of the night. 

SATURDAY

2 days following the panic attack I was with my boyfriend all day and I felt like I found this new form of happiness that would never leave. I felt like not only was I back to myself BUT I knew what losing my mind felt like versus being in control and I knew that as long as I never had to feel out of control again, that every single day would be amazing. 

I was like on a high this day. SO SO SO happy and I part of me was thinking it would last for forever haha BUUUT it didn't. 

(I promise this story is almost over). 

SUNDAY

Sunday is important to talk about because this is where I learned that it is possible to have minor panic attacks again after a big one for up to 1-2 weeks. The day was amazing again, just like Saturday. During the evening though I found myself home, alone, and THOUGHT that everything was great. I had some food, watched some TV, and was trying to get myself to relax. Around 6:00 pm I went onto my balcony to write in my journal and before I could even write the date, I realized I was in the same setting I was during the attack. 

It was quiet, I was home alone, and I before I knew it by heart started racing and I felt like the walls were caving in. I literally just picked up my book and my journal, threw on some shoes, grabbed my keys and bolted out of my house. 

We have a huge park right next to us so I went there and tried journaling, didn't help. 

I walked around the track - didn't help. At this point it was getting dark and they were starting to turn the park lights off and the thought of going back to my house was basically debilitating. 

I hate feeling like I'm bothering anything or in the way but I felt like I had no other option than to ask Steph again if I could come to her place and just stay with her until my boyfriend got home. To be honest - I was so shaken up that I had a couple shots when I first got there that I feel like helped me calm down a little bit but I didn't feel the lease bit intoxicated. My mind was still wandering and I was feeling frustrated at this point. 

AS THE DAYS WENT ON. 

People that had experienced attacks were telling me that I can't keep running from it, which I knew but it was just so damn hard. They told me to avoid things that might trigger the same feelings as the attack so exercise had to be light in order not to raise my heart rate, coffee should be avoided, drinking should be avoided, and I just needed to rest. 

SO, at this point, about three weeks later, I would say I'm feeling 100% better. I just wanted to share this with you guys so you know what to expect, what to do, and what to be aware of after the attack. 

Feel free to share your story below!

XXX