#THE TENSION!!!!!! ARGHHHHH

[kenposting]

You're Protesting the Air?

Summary: The tension between Holland and his client had been building for weeks. You were proud of yourself for keeping your cool - until Healy left you under the care of his partner.

WC: 1.4k

AN: i am sorry but holland is so [redacted] i just want to [redacted] ARGHHHHH!!!!!!!! n e ways thank u for enjoying all my silly little stories!!!!! life has been insane lately but i plan to write more now that im settled again :3

𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀⋆˚🍸˖°⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒

“And keep the girl safe!” 

“The girl?! I’m a fucking P.I.!” 

The air grew thick with the slam of the door. Holland stood beside you, disheveled as always, but almost different this time. He wasn’t cool or collected and he wasn’t drunk either. He was nervous, which was odd, given that this is maybe the first time this week he wasn’t caught in an active shooting or laid next to a dead pornstar. 

Half of you regretted ever even contacting these guys. You called the number listed on their ad when the last guy that hired you expected something… more than what you agreed to. You were dismissive, figuring he was just some creep. And he was! Until he started following you around. 

Even though you were widely renowned as one of the best (and toughest) private investigators this side of town, your reputation as a young, attractive, easily-kidnappable female was often undeniable – and now, inescapable. Being on your own was no longer enough. 

He watched you carefully, entirely missing his usual cue to quip back following your sigh of frustration. You needed protection from that guy, not from doing your job. You fully intended on letting him have it. 

“This is all your fault, you know!” 

An accusatory finger pointed up in his direction. 

“My fault?!” 

“Yes, hello! Why didn’t you stop him?!” 

“Stop him – you hired him! Hy didn’t you stop him?!” 

“I tried! You watched me try, what, did you miss that too? Just like the numerous times we’ve asked you to stay put, follow this car, pick us up from this spot, don’t fall off the fucking roof, listen to this story about when I shot a guy in a diner – should I continue?” 

“Hey, that’s not fair, he approached me at a time when he should’ve known I wouldn’t be listening, that’s just bad discernment.” 

You watched as his stature towered over you, his hand placed dramatically against his hip (the other in a cast, of course). Even at this volume, stuck in this situation, he wasn’t hostile or threatening at all. He was charming, actually. 

“Oh, good grief, when are you listening?” 

“Right now!” 

If looks could kill he'd be dead right now. You were fucking furious.. He looked good! And it was incredibly annoying. 

“You know what, I can’t take you, March. You stand around all day pretending like you’re doing your job when in reality, if you’d care to join us, you’re just staring at me.” “I am doing my job! Staring at you is my job!” 

“No it’s not, you halfwit! That’s why Healy gave you this stupid fucking task of watching over me – that’s the one thing you can’t possibly fuck up.” 

“Oh yeah? I bet I could!” 

He hesitated after speaking, realizing he wasn’t defending himself any longer and instead proved your point greatly. A gently raised (and very broken) arm buffered the silence as he searched for something else to say. 

“You know what, that’s not fair. You make me nervous and I can’t be quick-witted when I’m nervous. Everyone knows that.” 

“I make you nervous? Is that why you both still treat me like I’m your kid that needs looking after?! You’re only five years older than me, Holland! All I do is worry about you not getting shot to death while you’re busy getting drunk all the time.” 

Pinching the bridge of your nose and taking a deep breath, you realized it was a little absurd to be upset that they were watching you. That is in fact what you paid them to do. 

“Well, maybe I wouldn’t be drunk all the time if you weren’t around to distract me!” 

“Distract you?!” 

“Yeah, distract me! You’re all I can think about and it’s driving me fucking insane!” 

He paused. He did not mean to say that. 

“Is that right?! Well, I’d say it's much more fitting to state the facts here – you’re the one distracting me!” 

“Oh, now I’m distracting you?” 

“Of course you are!” 

He paused, sighing. He was not prepped for this response. 

“Look, I’m just trying to do my job. And I can’t do it with all of–” 

He gestured between the two of you,

“This bullshit! The air is palpable and I won't stand for it!” 

“Well me neither!” 

The two of you were face to face now. He was doubled over to match your height. 

He truly had been distracting you since the second you met him. It wasn’t fair. You hired him to watch your back and all you both did was watch each other, leaving Healy to do all the jobs himself. It wasn’t fair, but he started it! 

He was handsome, though. You didn’t mind paying him to stand there and look pretty. And he really was good at his job when he tried, but that’s not the point. All logic was thrown out the window here, he was on your last fucking nerve and you just had to tell him all about it. 

“So, Holland, since you’re so good at your job, what do you suggest we do about it then?!” 

“Maybe we should just get it over with! There’s clearly pining here of… of the sexual kind and it’s distracting both of us from doing our jobs.” 

“Fine!” 

“Fine!” 

A brief pause, brows furrowed and jaws clenched, sweat beading on his forehead, before the two of you moved towards each other in one swift motion. His hands were large and moved confidently, resting at the small of your back like he’d been mapping it out all day long. Truth be told, he had been. 

His (one good) hand moved, coming up to rest on the right of your face, the precursor to a kiss that had been building for weeks now. It was rushed and intense, but neither of you were complaining. After all, you preferred for this not to take ages, as who knows when his (and your) partner would be returning. 

He was back to his old self almost immediately, like all that had been missing was the confirmation that you wanted this too. He could’ve sworn he caught you looking at him a handful of times. Now he knew for sure, and it filled him up with the same cockiness that had been ever-present long before you hired him. 

Perhaps this was a violation of proper workplace relationship boundaries, but then again, so was the rest of your job. The things the both of you had done were enough to send you straight six feet under, but he fought so hard for the girls that were being killed and exploited on his last case. You read about him in the paper – the same paper that had been clipped and stuck to the fridge he now had you pinned against. 

You grabbed at him, clinging towards anything that could keep you grounded. His shirt was unbuttoned already, his chest heaving against your hand, lips following as you moved to reposition yourself. With one swoop of his (one good) arm, he lifted you up and sat you on the counter. Even placed way high up, he still stood taller than you. 

“You know,” 

He mustered everything within himself to pause for a moment, stepping back from you, blinking. His ears and cheeks were flushed pink and he was eager to continue, but thought it polite to stop and listen. 

“I was never even mad at you I don’t think.” 

He blinked at you again, thinking it so absurd you were trying to actually have a constructive conversation right now. 

“Uh-huh.” 

His lips found your neck. 

“I just wanted to say that. So you don’t think I’m mad at you or anything. Also, I’ve been thinking about this for so long and I just wanted it to be right and–” 

“Sweetheart?” 

Your heart fluttered as you hummed in response. 

“Be quiet. I know.” 

You opened your mouth to protest but were rudely interrupted by the clicking of a lock. Heavy footsteps followed the sound and you were met with Healy stood right there in Holland’s living room. 

“Seriously?” 

You looked at Holland. Holland looked at you. “You guys aren’t done yet? I thought it’d take him, like, five minutes, tops.” 

It occurred to you that the three of you had actually completed your tasks for the day, but that all seemed much less important earlier. You landed on a playful slap of the shoulder towards Holland who had clearly set this all up. 

“You asked him to leave just so you could argue with me?!” 

“What?! No! You really think I would do that!?” 

The two of you were at it again, missing Healy’s eye roll as he stepped back outside, locking the door behind him. 

𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀⋆˚🍸˖°⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒

[toxycodone]

I was embarrassed at first but then i realized you're the one on AO3 that writes all the things i like. I eat your stuff up. Gourmet.

Laios gets so overly excited to meet this minotaur/beastkin person. If they were half minotaur what if they were like. Orc/Minotaur. I think that makes sense.

"I'VE MILKED A MINOTAUR BEFORE! Do you need--" 🥴 Get Snu-Snu'd, white boy.

THERES NO READON TO BE EMBARASSED HERE HAVE U SEEN ME???/?:?: I DROOL OVER INSANE SHIT IM CRAAAAAZY

why is this making me think of like. “I milked all the cattle…it took a while but I finally got a bucket full of milk” “Laios those are all bulls” “….I said what I said.” HELP ME.

milking Minotaur oc’s boobies starts out as like. Him doing them a favor and relieving tension and ends with him nursing off them as they ride him stupid ARGHHHHH IM SO NEALOUS

[chicago-geniza]

ARGHHHHH you discovered the centrality and necessity of the comrade relation and of dialogue (dialectical tension, even!) to generative Thought and overcoming the inertial threshold toward Praxis but you won't be a modernist or an anarchist about it!

What are you DOING with your one wild and precious examined life!!!

[supitsgdo]

Book review: Fourth Wing and Iron Flame by Rebecca Yarros

Rating:

Fourth Wing: 4,5⭐️

Iron Flame: 3,5⭐️

Eragon was one of my favourite sagas, so I’m very glad to read about dragons again. And with all the hype going on, I hope I won’t be disappointed. 🤞

At first, this world building is refreshing and new for nowadays tendencies, so I really liked the plot about both books. With first book I was really invested and read really fast, and even I guessed what happened in the end. At the end of the second I had some ideas they weren’t met, but I liked how it turned out honestly.

My problems was with the main characters. Violet sounded so cool, a kind badass character with a sharp witty mind. Xaden caught my eye as well. Being mysterious and all. One thing I wished we had more was a little bit more tension between them. If it was there, it was weak for me. And the fact that, they didn’t even know each other for real was a bit triggering for me. But alas, they only live once in that world, am I right? Anyway, with Iron Flame my hopes and dreams for their relationship to be interesting went downhill. Man I got so bored with their relationship. As my sister said, and I quote, “Yup. Hence all the multiple “for fucks sake” I mentally said while reading.” Really, I stopped reading and read other books, just to stop the reading slump I was in. Also where was the grovelling that was due after the Fourth Wing’s ending?!?!? Arghhhhh I didn’t like that much tbh.

About the side characters, I wished we had some different POVs or more tidbits about their lives. Not only focused on Violet.

It was noticeable that the book was written with an unnecessary rush. I hope the next won’t be like that.

P.S.: A list of all known dragons with their respective rider would be useful in the end. With I don’t keep up with the Kardashians how do you want me to keep up with them 👉👈

🌶️chaps: (FW) 22, 30, 32. (IF) 27, 37, 48

[nocylipcowa]

i certainly am not the type of person that should br doing interviews with candidates to study here but alas, i am doing them (i asked two questions today and that's enough, i'm dead)

[smol-and-grumpy]

It's been a hot minute since I've been able to get stuck into Home To You and LORD HAVE FUCKING MERCY ON MY SOUL CAUSE CHAPTER 19 WAS AMAZINGGGGGGGGGGGGGG 😍😍😍😍🥴🥴🥺🥺🥺 I'm at work ans most likely not supposed to be on tumblr BUT my fuckibg God was it fucking worth it!!!!!

Arghhhhh!!!! I am a pool of need ans joy and arousal and JOY and slight jealousy?!

You fucking majestic QUEEN! 👑❤ ILY XOXOXO

Ahhhhh..... the sexual tension is great, isn't it? lol

Thank you for reading, babe. ILY too!!!

Home To You

[bicycles-bees-bisexuals]

50 Question Book Tag For World Book Day

My darling pal @thebestoftimes tagged me in this and who am I to refuse, though i am a lame loser who hasn’t read very much since high school. I read so much in elementary and middle school that I think I read enough for a whole lifetime. Also I’m a verbose asshole so enjoy my essays on books I read 13 years ago.

Who or what sparked your love of literature?

My mom used to read to me when I was really little and my sister despised being read to so my mom stopped. It made me sad so I started reading to myself and I just kept reading and reading and reading all throughout elementary and onward.

Do you have an ‘odd’ book habit? (page sniffing/never leaving the house with a book)

If I really really really love a book I use it to press flowers, so you’ll know which book is my favorite when you open it and it’s full of flowers

Do you have a book that you think has changed your life? How?

Shit I dunno man, I feel like Tolkien shaped my creativity and his characters are characters that I truly hold dear. But Pride and Prejudice really impacted me, which I know is weird, but it was my first foray into literature written by women for women and I just loved the dynamic of the characters, the spunkiness of Elizabeth Bennet, and the style of writing.

Which book have you reread most frequently?

Pride and Prejudice because I’m a huge freakin’ nerd and whenever I’m sad P&P is my comfort book. This is closely followed by the Lord of the Rings/the Hobbit

You can meet any author and ask one question. What author would you chose and what question would you ask?

Oh shit.....ummmmmm..... Ummmmmmmmmmmm.....I would ask Jane Austen her opinion on the Lizzie Bennet Diaries(after showing her the whole series)

Best book published this year so far?

(I haven’t read any books published this year I am so sorry)

Imagine you’ve started a book and don’t like it. Do you see the experience through to the bitter end?

I am a sinner of the highest caliber and I read the end to see if it’s interesting enough to warrant suffering through the rest

What book is top of your wish list/TBR pile?

Any of Holly Blacks books tbh, I hear such good things about her work and I just haven’t gotten around to reading it yet and I really want to

Favourite place to read?

On the porch in my beach chair with a mug of tea and a blanket

If you buy books, do you lend them out? Ever had a bad experience?

I lend books out all the time. I recently had a person I considered my friend abscond to Russia with several of my books and I am not happy about it

What fictional character do you ship yourself with?

There are so many badass ladies that if I lived in their world I would flirt so hard with them and I can’t decide. Definitely Annabeth and Rachel for Percy Jackson, Hermione/Ginny/Luna from Harry Potter... Brett Ashley from The Sun Also Rises....Arwen from LOTR but also Aragorn and also Eowyn....I just love hot ladies who get in fights alright

Weirdest thing you’ve used as a bookmark.

A whole sock, it was the nearest object to me and I was in a hurry, but at least it was clean

Favorite quality/qualities in a protagonist and antagonist

I love a flawed character who experiences character growth in the story, be they protagonist or antagonist. Not even in a ‘bad guy becomes good guy’ way, character growth is just so sexy man I wish writers used it more

Favorite genre and favorite book from that genre.

Why must you hurt me in this way, making me decide. I must say Fantasy is my genre of choice, and my favorite is actually The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader

Best/worst movie adaptation in your eyes

Dragon is by far the worst movie adaptation I have ever seen, I remember being so utterly disappointed and gutted when I watched it, I love those books so much and that movie let me down so hard(the effects were really good for the time though I must give them that)

Do you prefer reading your own books, or library books?

I am poor so library books all the way

How do you choose your next book to read?

I read descriptions until something strikes my interest. Or Jess recommends something to me.

Your favorite word.

Flourish

Book that got you hooked on reading/how you got hooked.

Mrs Peregrins Home for Peculiar Children, which isn’t a book I didn’t expect to like and didn’t have much interest in but the opening line of “I had just come to accept my life would be ordinary when extraordinary things began to happen” it was an interesting enough hook to draw me in. I was not disappointed, it’s a pretty great book

Opinion on dog-earing, margin writing, ect.

I dog ear books and write all over them. I love books and I love the stories they contain but I don’t think the pages of each individual book are sacred. My books look loved because they are loved. Unless I’m borrowing them then I don’t dog ear or write in them because that’s rude

Top 5 immediate to read in no order

The Raven Boys by Maggie Stiefvater

The Foxhole Court by Nora Sakavic

The Cruel Prince by Holly Black

Lady Midnight by Cassandra Clare

Lord of Shadows by Cassandra Clare

Queen of Air and Darkness by Cassandra Clare

Most underrated book you’ve read

Tbh I don’t think I’ve read any underrated books. They’re all pretty highly rated

What is the first book that catches your eye when you look at your bookshelf?

My collectors copy of Sherlock Holmes because it’s beautiful and fancy and those stories hold a dead place in my heart

How do you arrange your books on your shelves?

I don’t arrange them, I just place them so that they fit, though I do keep series together

You have the power to change a book’s ending. Which ending would you change and what would you make happen instead?

Why do you do this to me.....okay I would definitely change the ending of Inheretence by Christopher Paolini. Tbh I wish he hadn’t written the fourth book at all and just left it with Eragon, Eldest, and Brisingr but if we accept this book then it must be changed. I would have liked to see more character growth from Murtagh especially, but also Eragon who really regressed in this book. And I think Galbatorix’ death was super anti climatic and didn’t really resolve all of the built up tension from the series, it was too easy and didn’t resolve anything at all.

And Eragon just abandons Arya and the riders and they separate themselves from each other after all they did together, several books of allusion to a relationship and all of the issues between them being resolved and he just leaves. The plot threads just weren’t resolved and honestly I would have to scrap the whole book for the most part and start over.

Favourite book cover?

The book covers for the Inheretence Cycle by Christopher Paolini hold a special place in my heart and are what drew me to that series in the first place. I bought hard covers just for the aesthetic of them

Which book from your childhood has had the most impact on you?

The Chronicles of Narnia, tbh, my first introduction to fantasy

When reading, what do you value most: writing style, characters, plot, world building, pacing, etc?

Characters are the most valuable to me, if I don’t love the characters I don’t love the book

Do you prefer buying books or borrowing them from a library/friend?

Borrowing, for sure

What books/sequels that are being published this year are you most excited for?

Unfortunately I haven’t read enough lately to know what’s coming out this year

Which fictional character would you want as a sidekick?

Samwise Gamgee all the way

How many books have you read so far this year?

Seven, all academic books

What’s been your favourite read so far this year?

The Heliand

You’re stuck on an island with a suitcase big enough to hold five books. What books are they?

Arghhhhh ummm.... the lord of the rings trilogy, Pride and Prejudice, and a book on survival tactics

If you had to go out to dinner with any character who would it be and why? What would you talk about?

Hmmmmm Bilbo Baggins because I wanna hear the hidden stories of his journeys

Is there a book you have such a hatred for that you would throw it off of the highest tower knowing that the last copy of it will be destroyed so that not another living soul can read it?

Inheretence by Christopher Paolini tbh

Do you believe books make nice decoration?

Yeah I do and one day I want to have book shelves displaying all my books

Do you listen to music when you read? Or do you need complete silence? 

I do listen to music because I can’t focus on just one thing at a time because I’m ridiculous

Do you have a favorite book? If not are you in the group that believes there are too many great books out there to just choose one?

I CANT CHOOSE I CANT CHOOSE I CANT CHOOSE I CANT CHOOSE I CANTTTFTTTT

Do you sleep with books under your pillow.

No because I move too much in my sleep I would destroy the poor thing

Do you go to the library or do you have a book buying addiction or are you one of those lucky people who is able to do both?

I definitely go to the library because I am poooorrrrr

Own any book inspired clothing?

I have a pride and prejudice book scarf and several Jane Austen necklaces

Have you ever read a book in another language?

Yep I read books in Latin all the time and I used to read books in Spanish because I used to be smart, what the fuck happened to that who knows

Strangest book you’ve ever read?

The Heliand

Favourite type of non-fiction?

Historical Drama, in which they tell real events but in the most dramatic way possible. The best.

Favourite non-fiction book?

I CANT CHOOSE I CANT CHOOSE I CANT CHOOSE I CANT CHOOSE I CANT CHOOSE (does hidden figures by Margot Lee Shetterly count? If not then I can’t decide)

Favourite subject to read about?

History, always, especially history involving regular people losing their shot

Favourite book you’ve read in school?

No Turning Back: The History of Feminism and the Future of Women by Estelle Freedman

Favourite work of Shakespeare?

Tbh I don’t like Shakespeare but Midsummer Nights Dream is most entertaining to me. Though I love merchant of Venice for all the jokes I get out of it on Bards Dispense Profanity

Character you’d love as a mom or dad or guardian?

All of them would be terrible parents and it would be so delightful but tbh I’d love to have Han Solo and Leia as my parents so I can beat the shit out of my bro Kyle Ron every time he tried to glorify space hitler

[gurguliare]

do you have any ideas for how a Good version of TLJ might have gone? Assuming TFA stayed the same

Okay here I have summarized a convoluted revised version of TLJ for you, keeping as much of the plot skeleton as possible. What I am proposing is not so much a “Good” version as a “trashy version I would have enjoyed.” I feel comfortable in the knowledge that no one is going to read to the end of this read more.

Rey plot: have the initial focus/mystery be the fact that Luke having voluntarily cut himself off from the Force, and the “darkness” on the island then is some kind of very literal dissociated embodiment of his trauma, or whatever; like, Rey talks to Luke and gets nothing from him, Rey goes to the kelp pit and gets the same traumatic memory projector effect as she got from the lightsaber but x1000. Kelp pit is grief pit. Also instead of the porgs retrieving the lightsaber it would have washed up in the sea cave there, obviously. Also logically the pit should be under the tree/temple/whatever, I don’t know why the pit wouldn’t be under the tree. OH maybe there is no tree and Luke destroyed it years ago lmao. And is like, somewhat sheepish about this, but not that sheepish. Luke gives an actual cogent argument for why the Jedi need to end + a description of what it’s like to be submerged in the Force and be tempted, constantly, by the ‘destiny’ the Force recommends, even after having already failed—he wanted to restart the school! He dreamed of finding other children to replace the dead students! He couldn’t bear the hope, so he cut himself off. Rey: “… it’s nothing like that for me. are you sure that was the Force. btw there’s a mirror underground here and it hates you.” The ROTJ parallel isn’t Luke and Vader / Rey and Kylo, it’s Rey distractedly, bemusedly saving Luke.

(As far as the Kylo backstory goes, uhhhh, my problem is that I really LIKE “Kylo thought Luke was going to kill him” from the Kylo side, it’s a classic fucked-up thing triggers massively fucked-up reaction type scenario, my favorite, but I Just. Cannot. Do It. with any amount of finagling. on Luke’s. And all the stopgaps I’m coming up with are ridiculous. “Snoke makes a projection of Luke attack Kylo, foreshadowing Luke’s projection of himself at the end” “Snoke makes a projection of SNOKE attack Luke, Kylo tries to ‘defend’ Luke and accidentally blows up the temple, foreshadowing his failure to blow up Luke’s projection at the end” These are all so bad. I’m realizing that I cut the Luke-projecting-himself element. Maybe uhhhhhh Luke realized that Snoke had been tampering with Ben’s mind and tried to temporarily cut off Ben’s access to the Force >_ Or asked Ben to close off the Force and Ben interpreted that as a threat, rapidly escalated things into a physical confrontation, pretty much accidentally did serious injury to Luke, and then panicked? I don’t know that’s still pretty shitty but I like the idea of this then leading to the world’s most melodramatic self-punishment on the subject, also could tie into “the vanity of the Jedi, thinking they own the Force!”)

0k that’s my tentative proposition. Luke explains this to Rey in five minutes or less, she’s like, “bye,” jumps down the hole. She is crying the whole time for reasons probably. For the record, I would keep a lot of the stuff with Kylo’s and her minds being bridged, or at least I would keep the fact of them being linked all throughout her time on the island—actually, wait, I got it, Kylo is one of the things waiting on the other side of Luke’s severed bonds, so when she goes to the pit she accidentally picks up on that. BTW the Force speech Luke gives her would be all about “bonds” and would be MUCH more Orson Scott Card as a consequence. So now Kylo’s manipulation to the tune of, When I was a child, the galaxy was so silent. Mother was there, and Uncle Luke was there, and everywhere else, silence. Don’t you know what it’s like to be alone? Imagine if someone had asked you—to shut your ears—and she’s like I STAYED ON JAKKU FOR 23 YEARS and smashes the mirror

Luke, extremely Force-hungover: oh

AND THUS, HUT EXPLOSION.

Then Rey and Luke have some kind of excitable shouted conversation in the pouring rain where Luke is like “he’s looking for me!” “YEAH, HE’S LOOKING FOR YOU.” “no, you don’t understand—he’s looking for me!” “HE’S LOOKING AT YOU RIGHT NOW, ACTUALLY.” “but he wasn’t—he disappeared for years! he did take my advice, in the worst way possible! i feel so connected!” “ARGHHHHH”

luke + rey pilot the millennium falcon resistanceward, she discovers he is also a backseat driver

Finn plot: I assumed in the first five minutes of the movie that the way the First Order was “tracking” the Resistance was through Finn, and I still think that makes the most sense/offers the easiest dramatic tension. I mean it’s cheap but whatever this is still a hypothetical Disney movie we’re talking about. Uh… I don’t know there are a bunch of directions you could take this but like … I guess playing on Rose’s initial hero-worship of Finn, make it a thing where… mm. Finn convinces her that the reason he’s sneaking onto an escape pod is because he’s nobly trying to save the Resistance by removing his implanted tracking beacon from the ship (there is no such device and he’s making this up, to the best of his knowledge); she comes up with the plan to uncouple the devices on-site, if they can sneak aboard the ship, because he’s Finn and it’s so important that he escape finally and for real! he makes up a bunch of mumbo-jumbo about First Order security and an expert codebreaker who might be their only hope, planning to lose her on Canto Bight; on Canto Bight, they have some uncomfortable conversation about growing up as slaves and the appeal of the Resistance, Finn maybe assuming that Rose joined for her sister’s sake? wrongly, blah blah extended annoying conversation about how there’s protecting the actual person and then there’s protecting the things that person would want to protect; Lando Calrissian arrests them for parking violations halfway through the conversation, which continues in the prison, where small child jailers throw bones and debris at them; he tries to ditch her in the confusion of the prisonbreak, she catches up to him and is Very Betrayed; then the First Order scoops them up because it turns out they were using Finn to track the Resistance, and the reason they managed to do so even at lightspeed was because Kylo Ren could detect Finn’s force signature. Because of how Force-sensitive Finn is.

Cue tragicomic re-recruitment sequence in which we POSSIBLY meet some of the other Knights of Ren, and also, Phasma is there, “helping.” Phasma: it’ll be just like endurance training! You LOVED endurance training! You did so well on all your diagnostics! Finn: …………………….

Finally Kylo kicks everyone else out and is very casually like hey are you and Rey force-bonded because for some reason she’s stopped talking to me and I’d really love to consult her about somethinggggg, I was wondering if she’d trust me more if I already had your support! Don’t you want revenge? I’m going to kill Snoke. It turns out my uncle loved me!

Finn: should you just say that

Kylo: I’ve been thinking it every day for the past fifteen years so I doubt he’s too worried

Finn: DO YOU NOT SEE THE ISSUE HERE

then unfortunately right at that moment he does actually hear Rey’s voice in his head. Some prior buildup with Rey actively reaching out toward Finn before that and being SUPER FRUSTRATED to constantly get Kylo. Rey: Finn, don’t worry, Master Luke has a plan, we’re coming for you! We’re .… . . crashlanding in the main docking bay and being arrested. Oh my g

I’m basically picturing Luke, like, uselessly draped over several stormtroopers’ unwilling arms because he’s so high on being In Tune With The Force Again, and oh btw the stormtroopers received orders to toss Luke to Kylo but bring Rey straight to Snoke—Kylo: fuck!!! He weirdly ignores Luke, seeming satisfied now that he’s gotten his validation from him. So then Finn and Luke are left alone under guard and Kylo storms off to confront Snoke.

Luke: mmmmmmmm. huh. hello.

Finn: Hey quick q if I’m so fucking Force-sensitive why can’t I read minds and control people’s wills

Luke: [surprised voice] Can’t you? I thought you didn’t want to

Finn: OH MY GOD, I HATE YOU PEOPLE

Luke: Or I could blow up all the electronics in this room, hold on

(later in the chase sequence finn mindcontrols hux and is like “oh god it was so SLIMY like holding an eel”)

Probably some dumb climax where Snoke makes a pitch to Rey re: Luke not training her, which is a true established thing in this version of TLJ, and tells Rey to kill Kylo because he (Snoke) can only afford one apprentice. Rey: are u serious, I actually kind of don’t want to murder him at this point, it seems like a lot of hassle. I want to learn, and you and Luke both suck—Kylo won’t you teach me

(Luke as Finn hauls him across, likely, a catwalk: Do you remember feeling like you couldn’t fit in, like you were always different? The one person you knew who wasn’t part of a whole?

Finn: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Luke: I’ll tell you a secret. That’s because you’re part of something bigger. Something much bigger than your squad, or Hux’s army, or even the Resistance. But you already knew that, didn’t you?

Finn: is it the jedi.

Luke: no. NO. i said BIGGER)

To be fair to Rian Johnson, I have no clue how to write a satisfying multipart star wars climax. something something where Kylo explodes grandpa’s lightsaber in order to finish off Snoke, and I guess takes unconscious Rey prisoner, is realistically how I would end this?? The triumphant Lando-restocked Resistance decloaks, but the First Order fleet turns tail and runs after a few rounds? Finn deliberately uses the Force to find Rose and trace a (reluctant, angry) path through the disintegrating star destroyer, goes with Luke and Rose on the Millennium Falcon, having fought off Phasma but sort of in a hurry? Rose maybe killed Hux? Idk what the reasoning for Finn agreeing to leave Rey would be, other than I guess “the awareness that Kylo wants to use him to manipulate her, however ineptly.” Rose probs involved somehow. Rose: It’s still important that you escaped. Finn: I HAVEN’T GOTTEN AWAY ONCE

end scene where Finn has just finished an offscreen argument with Luke about Luke training him in the Force, and therefore comes to Leia

end-end scene where they all hear Rey’s voice at once because she picked up telepathic specialization from Snoke, because it’s traditional that Rey gain wild new Force powers in every movie purely through observation.

end-end-end scene where Luke has an audibly two-sided argument with Anakin’s ghost behind a closed door (“I’m not the last Jedi. I should have been, but I’m not. It’s my duty—” “what duty. it’s been ten years you haven’t answered my calls” “Daaad.”)

Start of the next movie: Kylo: You know, I used our telepathic bond to mislead Snoke. Rey: cool, don’t care. Kylo: It is ironic because of how he used that same bond to manipulate me. Rey: RED MEN ARE GLISTENING

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Poe plot: Can someone else do this one

[afearfulbride]

For the ask meme: genyatta, zencio, hanyatta, mchanzo

genyatta: THE OTP my heartsong this is objectively a flaw-free ship in my books

zencio: brotp- there are other ships I prefer them in, but it’s super cute regardless!! I love the idea of them hanging out and making remixes together and talking about how to make the world a better place arghHhhh more please blizz

hanyatta: OTP tbh. I am such a goober for redemption ships with lots of conflict and weird sexual tension that really challenges the characters involved. also they would be insufferable and enjoy trying to outwit/ outbicker each other.

mchanzo: OTP. full disclosure I didn’t really ship mchanzo to begin with, but the madder people got about it the more I enjoy it. it’s a cute opposites attract kind of ship and they both need peace tbh let these idiot grown men rest

[raelate]

arghhhhh the tension between mydays and nfias is just so.... unnecessary. cant we be happy about each groups’ achievements without dragging the other down?!!

[crafblr]

super cool how my tension got stupid again Just as I got to the last step aka topstitching ;____;

cannot figure it out, I get exactly the same results if I set tension to 9 or 0, the top thread is just laying on top of the fabric and the bottom is pulled through

arghhhhh I do not have time for this