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bookwyrminspiration · 3 years

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What the fuck did I just read (/pos)

I know that it was chap one of your wings au, but I can't process what happened (Still pos)

Like?? Neverseen and Co probably created creatures that drove the Elves underground, Sophie and Co went to what they thought was the breeding ground for them and fucked ip the mission by going into the wrong room, my spirit animal burst out of its isolation pod, everyone passed out and the facility presumably exploded, but oh my god I LOVED it

Like?? Your writing?? Excellent

The descriptors?? Brilliant. I had a very clear view of what the entrance to the facility looked like, my only issue was that I lost my focus by remembering I was just reading it on my bed and then couldn't get back into it which was sad, but god I love the post apocalyptic vibes. And the small shroomy dude with the marks gouged in his skin at the start- I want one.

If only I could draw backgrounds!! Ahh I would love to draw a scene from this chapter

Like if this was episode one of a webtoon then I would absolutly have saved it and would keep up with the weekly update.

I can't really do this here because I don't have an ao3 account, but I'll definitly binge it after I make and eat dinner.

But of course, if you had made it a webtoon, then you probably would have had to explain the abilities but that could always be done in a more subtle way, but it's also be copyright infringement. I think.

Anyway I loved it and I can't wait to see what happens next!!

I did think it was a bit fast passed, but that could just be my preference for lingering in details in the calm and then making the audience aware of when it's highstakes by speeding it up. But I guess it works here by that same notion, as the whole mission was high stakes, but I found that even the supposed slow bits were fast, like the introduction was a bit breezed through.

But!! Nothing to be done!! Since this chapter came out 6 months ago!! I haven't read the rest so I don't know what the other chapters are like, but for this one I still loved it!!

-Heathen

heathen! hello! tbh I have the same reaction when reading through the wings au. I'm just along for the ride and have no clue what's happening but it's fun! Legitimately though like 95% of the time I open up the wip chapter like "alright let's see where I left off" I make an audible noise of shock like oh damn. We really out here doing so many things.

I think chapter one will always hold a special place in my heart above the others purely for the descriptions of the world. I had so much fun with the narrator voice and the way I approached it--the first two chapters were written just as i felt like it, not on the schedule that I now have, so looking at them is always fun. That first chapter was the product of several months of writing sprints and then weeks of not thinking about it. But I adore it.

all the things that happened!! they went underground and were sneaking through a facility and trying to destroy it and so many little things that I threw at you all. Definitely not the vibe some people were expecting!! I think when originally writing that chapter I had an explanation for why they were in the wrong room, but I've mostly forgotten it and so now it's like idk why they were in the wrong room! I think I do have an explanation for it that isn't just "oopsie all ten of them just didn't realize it was the wrong room!!" kind of thing, but on the chance that it will come up again later i shant reveal!!

(note: it's my understanding that the term "spirit animal" is offensive to indigenous people, making light of their cultures through a stereotype. I don't have the authority to determine a suggestion, but perhaps saying instead that the creature embodies you instead of is a spirit animal would be better. I don't think you did this intentionally, so I wanted to mention it!)

but yes, everyone did pass out due to inhaling all those fumes, but I thought it was a fun little dramatic cliffhanger. The first of many...I'm still writing cliffhangers 17 chapters later.

also thank you! I enjoy sharing stories, so it's nice to know my delivery is alright! Also I'm glad you had a clear view of what the entrance to the facility looked like, as I did not! I was making things up and hoping it made sense! If you continue reading I hope you can stay more focused!! It's so much fun to get sucked into a story and forget where you are, but it's so easy to get knocked out of it, too. I've been reading ahead in my English class the past few weeks (i'm three books and 2 essays ahead of everyone else and basically doing my own thing) so whenever I'm reading there's also the class reading aloud so it takes a lot more to stay in the world of the book--also difficult when you're reading Ralph Waldo Emerson because the text is very dense. But I'm getting distracted now oops

someone described the wings au as a "soft apocalypse" once and it's been one of my favorite descriptors ever since. Because it is an apocalypse!! The world has gone to shit and everything is overrun with creatures! But it's also not the gritty hardcore survival and death and all that you see in other apocalypse stories. Oh and the mushroom guy!! I was originally going to draw a picture of it back when I posted the first chapter, but I took too long to do it and forgot what it looked like. Perhaps if I reread it I can kinda piece it back together, but there were definitely details I didn't include in the story that i'll probably never remember. Maybe I should bring the mushroom guy back...also there's like a 97% chance it'd bite you and run away if you had one, but go for it!

Also same with that background thing! They definitely aren't my strength, but there's so many places in the au I want to draw that it's like agh!! I feel like maybe when the au is finished I'll go back and draw a scene from each chapter, because I've got a really specific idea of what some of these places look like and I want to be able to see them!!

I don't really use webtoon, but I think that's a compliment so thanks! And yeah it would've been a lot more work to make it into a webtoon and would move a lot slower that I'd want it too. I am!! impatient!! Unfortunately my chapters are too long for weekly updates, but I can do every other week! it's very precise. Every other sunday I post a new chapter!! This sunday is actually the next one, though I don't remember what number we're at. 15? I'm about to finish writing 17 (which is probably going to be the longest one so far if it keeps doing the things its doing) so I've lost track.

I don't know how fast-paced the story is as a whole, but I think it's on the quicker side. Especially in those first few chapters, because what I've done is dropped us into the end of a story, or what was supposed to be the end. This is set months after Unlocked, and the mission I put them straight into from the beginning of the story would've been the final battle of another. It would've been the big victory against the bad guys where everything afterwards settles down and they can live peacefully, but I interrupted that. I stole them out of that ending and created a new story parallel to the first one. So there was no build up to the climax, it was suddenly there! That might make it seem a little fast.

And then from there in the next chapter or two things are falling into place in order for me to actually tell the story I want to. Really the first like 2-3 chapters are just getting to where we needed to be for me to start the story, so I might've rushed it a little in order to get there faster, because while the first parts are important, they're not the focus of my story until later!

I do think I also have a preference for faster stories, which is fine! There are slower parts where the kotlcrew are more hanging out and the plot isn't going as fast, the first few chapters are just a lot. Maybe that's why it seems breezed through! There was so much worldbuilding and background in that one chapter that it was difficult to give everything attention all at once, though other details are given throughout the rest of the story.

I hope you enjoy the rest of the chapters should you choose to read them!! Perhaps I'll go back and start a little reread with you because it's been months since I've seen some of these chapters. you could tell me what happened better than me! Partially because it's mixed up in my brain with things I almost wrote but didn't, while you only have what actually happened.

But I'm glad you enjoyed the first chapter!! The wings au is a lot of fun so it's always cool to see people reading it <33

#wings au my beloved...#it's been over six months and I am still. writing #we just keep going #don't mind me just gonna take another six months to finish /j #i'm in the middle of one big plot thing #I have at least one and a half more I definitely want to do #but there's also a vague concept for another thing I'd like to do #but the details aren't fully worked out #only halfway there #but it's fun!!#kotlc #keeper of the lost cities #kotlc wings au #wings au asks #quil's queries #heathen nonsie #nonsie love #shattered upside down

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ayeonz · 4 years

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Top 10 Kpop Choreographies of 2020, According to Me

There were so many good choreographies... It kind of hurt me making this list because a lot of frontrunners quickly fell below 10 during review - you might be surprised to notice the absence of certain songs in the top 10 but I did my best to rank everything fairly. Full top 20

10. "Feel Good (Secret Code) - fromis_9

It's so bouncy and energetic and there's a lot of really cute details. The footwork is actually really fun to watch in some parts too. It just has a really strong momentum and matches the vibe of the song really well.

9. "WANNABE" - ITZY

It's strong, it's powerful, it's memorable. This is definitely ITZY's best choreography to date. Everyone knows that hip move, everyone's tried that shoulder choreography, and both moves really made Ryujin the star of early 2020. I love offbeat moves too, they add extra flavour IMO, so the chorus is a treat. The dance break is so clean too.

8. "Monster" - Red Velvet - IRENE & SEULGI

Personally I was a more of a fan of Monster than Naughty, even when it came to choreography. A lot of the moves are so unique but they match the music and the vibe super well. It really showcases their dance talents and the backup dancers really add a lot to it. The ending is my favourite part, especially the big "monster" that they form.

7. "Psycho4U" - GIRLKIND

I really have to hand it to them on this one. Medic Jin has improved so much since debut I think she deserves a shoutout. I really love the general shape of this choreography and all the different levels they use. They really did a good job hiding the asymmetry of a 4-member group too, and the ending pose is just beautiful.

6. "Can't You See Me?" - TXT

God, this dance is beautiful. All of the formations and movements feel so fresh. It really stands out as a boy group choreography, shying away from pure masculinity to extend the lyrics. The part where they're in a line after the first chorus is just so clean. Every move is so sharp. This is why you can't take anyone seriously who tries to tell you that TXT aren't talented because if that's true then they're gonna need to explain this song to me.

5. "Make A Wish (Birthday Song)" - NCT U

I didn't realise this dance was THIS good until it came to ranking time. I only added it because I liked that chorus move with the arms but damn... the whole thing is excellent. It's just so full-on; it's awesome to watch as a whole. It's so fluid but punchy. The breakdown part is amazing, and I love the little rewind detail at the end. I can't say I understand the ending pose though...

4. "So What" - LOONA

The transitions between formations are FLAWLESS. And insanely quick; you've really gotta pay attention to catch them. They've really used the symmetry that having 11 members gives you to perfect levels - there's barely a scene that wouldn't look the same if you flipped it. The bridge is absolutely beautiful and I also love that when Jinsoul does her adlib bit that, instead of her stepping back into the group, the group actually subtlely comes forward to swallow her back in.

3. "God's Menu" - Stray Kids

Pure excellence. It's so fast it looks like it's in double speed but it's not, SKZ are just that fucking good. It does kind of stumble between unique and "I feel like I've seen this move before" and it's kind of jarring but both are still executed well so I didn't deduct too many points for that because damn... the tilt section hits every time.

2. "Back Door" - Stray Kids

This is just so much fun to watch. The instrumental gave the choreographers a lot to work with and I feel like they fulfilled almost every possibility. It's so consistent in pace and momentum. Every moment is so interesting but I feel like Stray Kids themselves are really what makes this so good.

1. "@Me (Tag Me)" - Weeekly

The detail! The creative use of props! The energy! They hit every beat perfectly, not a single member slacking in any way. They don't even slow down in the rap break. It just keep going and going... It's absolutely one of the most unique dances I've seen in a long time. There's a reason they won Rookie of the Year!

#.txt #weeekly #stray kids #loona #nct #nct u #txt #girlkind #itzy #fromis9 #red velvet #long post #fuck yeah 2020

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thebookbandwagon · 5 years

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Captive Prince trilogy review

Summary:

M/M adult high fantasy trilogy with a Gryffindor/Slytherin romance

politics

characters you go from despising to loving, and vice-versa

feels like a well-written fanfiction in terms of some of the tropes used i.e. enemies to friends to lovers, slow burn, lost princes, slavery

all the content warnings (well, okay, not all of them but I’ve put the appropriate ones under the cut)

elegant but concise writing style that reads very quickly

relatively short books in a trilogy (around 300 pages each or less)

Video review and illustration here [x].

The Captive Prince series by C.S. Pacat is a hybrid of a romance and a fast-paced political fantasy, set in a world where the societies feel inspired by Ancient Rome and Ancient France. The conflict begins with Damon, a prince in hiding, being ‘gifted’ to Prince Laurent of Vere for use as a pleasure slave. Laurent has no interest in using Damon in such a way, but they despise each other nonetheless.

I’m not a romance reader, but it turns out I’m definitely able to make some exceptions. This series absolutely being one of them.

This trilogy has brought about a bit of controversy because of some of the heavier plot elements that are featured most strongly in the first book and because one of the main characters is a PoC forced into slavery. It’s definitely not a story for the lighthearted and there’s a reason why the back covers state ‘MATURE’ in bold letters on them. There is torture. Violence. Explicit sex scenes. Rape is common in Vere, the main location of the first book. There are scenes involving consensual, non-consensual, and dubiously consensual sex. There is a side-character who is a paedophile. If you're not okay with reading through those things then this series is not for you, but readers should be aware that the more extreme graphic elements definitely lessen in later books in the series.

During the first book of the series, Laurent, the Prince of Vere, viciously hates Damon, our main protagonist, who then hates him in return. Laurent is cruel. He is arrogant. He punishes Damon when he sees fit. But it turns out that Laurent… does actually have a very good reason to hate Damon so much. Where Laurent is calculating and cunning and cold, Damon is brave and bold and brash. Despite the expectation of Damon being a pleasure slave, Laurent is not interested in using him in this way (or anyone else), but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t make Damon’s life miserable. The first book tells the story of Laurent and Damon going from antagonising each other to slowly coming to more a mutual understanding and maybe even beginning to have a little bit of respect for each other’s skills; Laurent the master of political schemes and subtle manipulation and Damon the fighter and battle strategist.

The second book in the series follows Damon and Laurent as they travel across the country with an army they need to train. They have many enemies and the odds are stacked against them but Laurent’s clever political manoeuvring and Damon’s experience with handling himself and others on the battlefield may help them pull through. Arguably the most fun book in the series, we get much more an adventure vibe with elements of humour and this is the book where Damon and Laurent’s relationship alters the most drastically as they start to learn that maybe the other person isn’t quite so bad. They are no longer enemies and are progressing from allies to friends, with wonderfully believable pacing and interactions between them that are engrossing and fascinating and touching all at the same time.

The third book continues from the aftermath at the end of Prince’s Gambit and has a plot centred around Damon and Laurent fighting for their lives and freedom and it has ramifications for both of their countries. Interwoven throughout are a combination of emotional scenes, action scenes, touching scenes, and, yes, smutty scenes.

The prose in C.S. Pacat’s writing is fantastic. It hooked me completely within the first chapter and it reads very very quickly, while still retaining some of that classic feel and elegance from fantasy inspired by history. Her writing is primarily focused on the characters rather than the world, and the characters are fantastically vivid. Their voices feel very distinctive and their personalities – Laurent, particularly – are wonderfully complex. Expect your opinions on certain characters to radically change the more you read.

There aren’t many flaws, but the flaws I can pick out are as follows: it often felt like Laurent couldn’t be mentioned without a description of his blue eyes or blond hair, which could just be because this is written from Damon’s perspective and he definitely has A Type™, but it was still excessive. Even though I definitely prefer the writing to be character-focused rather than plot or setting focused, I still would’ve preferred a little more description in places. We get a nice feeling for the difference between the societies Laurent and Damon are from, but little feeling for the rest of the world or what things that aren’t people look like or the history beyond the war that separated Vere and Akielos.

This series reads as quickly as contemporary romance often does, which I found to be a wonderful change of pace compared to what I am used to. I was able to read each book in less than 48 hours. I intended to reach each book while taking breaks to read other books in between but I was too far pulled in to stop reading. The only slight disadvantage to that is that I was reading so quickly because I just had to know what was going to happen that some of the finer details of the plot and politics I ended up glossing over. I’m definitely going to have to reread this series and make sure I do it slower next time so I can judge the political aspect of the plot better. The speed also meant that the final instalment felt like it could’ve done with being a bit longer, since there were still a couple of plot threads that didn’t feel 100% tied up and we didn’t get to see much of the aftermath of the climax of the plot. Saying that, I still found the ending to be extremely satisfying, but for me, these things would have only added to how satisfying the series was.

I am giving the series 4.5/5 stars. The strong character work and the believability of Laurent and Damon’s relationship and how it develops really made this series. If this author writes in the adult genre again, I’ll definitely be picking up their future works. My rating may change a little with a reread when I’m able to take it all in slower, and it may go up or down. But most likely up.

#captive prince #capri #c s pacat #book review #fantasy books #romance books #queer books #LGBT books #book #review #political fantasy #m/m fantasy #m/m #m/m romance #my book reviews

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sweetsmellosuccess · 5 years

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Sundance 2020: Day 4

Number of Films: 5 Best Film of the Day: Bloody Noses, Empty Pockets

Promising Young Woman: It would certainly make sense that the world would be ready (and awaiting) a revenge thriller in the #metoo era. Unfortunately, this peculiar mish-mash of a film has far too many abrupt tonal shifts — more like a fly zipping around an outdoor picnic — to keep itself together. Carey Mulligan plays Cassandra, a young woman with a traumatic past, who seeks revenge against piggish men by posing as black-out drunk at clubs, going home with one hoping to score, only to turn the tables on them when given the chance. What she actually does to them is strangely vague (in the film’s opening sequence she dispatches Adam Brody’s character in a way that leaves blood spatters on her blouse — but we find out later he’s apparently fine), as is her exact motive, for a time. More confusingly, writer/director Emerald Finnel veers wildly in tone from one moment to the next: One minute, it’s a sweet romantic comedy; the next, a dramatic revenge thriller; before shifting to an archly satiric social commentary, all jumbled up into an unwieldy collage. In one crucial, dramatic scene, a character admits to her wrongdoing, but does so in a living room so notably gouache, with pink carpeting and frilly furniture, the characters actually acknowledge the weirdness of the setting to one another. The plot, which involves several unlikely convolutions, too often works against itself, all the way to a supremely unbelievable (if satisfying) ending. Milligan is strong, and the chemistry she shares with Bo Burnham, as a potential real love interest, is sparkly, but its tonal ambiguity eventually does it in.

Bloody Nose, Empty Pockets: Filming the last day and night of a dingy, hole-in-the-wall bar in Las Vegas, the Brothers Moss imbibe their neo-doc appropriately enough with a distinct ‘70s vibe, in keeping with both many of the clientele themselves, some of whom display a post-hippie vibe, and the concept itself, which plays like something out of Cassavettes joint. We start at the beginning of the day, as Michael, the bar’s chief barfly, is woken up from the counter, goes to shave in the bathroom, and again takes his customary seat at the bar. For the day shift, he’s being served by the genial bear of a bartender, who has a surprisingly good singing voice on those occasions where he is inspired to pick up his guitar and croon. Shortly thereafter, Michael is joined by a bevy of the other regulars, including Pete, a sweet-faced man with a long pony-tail and many stories of past relationships; John, a large Aussie, who bring a heavy, mysterious paper bag with him and tells the bartender to hide it for him. There’s also a former military grunt who gets mildly belligerent, a smattering of younger people who saunter in, and a host of others, at various levels of decay. As the day progresses, and the sweetly fierce Shay comes in to tend bar on the last night, the clients get more and more soused, and things turn drunkenly chaotic. Amidst numerous confessions, admissions, and exhortations off the clientele being “family,” a claim the saucy Michael instantly refutes (“we’re bar friends,” he says sternly, “not family”), the cameras capture the anarchic spirit of the place, even as it exposes the fissures in the nature of their relationships. Michael, the bar’s patron saint and conscience, seems to best crystallize this dichotomy: When he finally does shuffle off the next morning he does it with zero fanfare, as if no longer having to maintain the illusion that the place is anything other than a sad, dilapidated wreck, where patrons get to shut off their minds from whatever pains have driven them there.

The Nowhere Inn: Carrie Brownstein, of both Sleater-Kinney, and “Portlandia” fame, has a penchant for slightly oddball riffs; Anne Clarke, aka St. Vincent, is known for many things, none of them personal, details she protects vigorously. The “documentary” they have made together, along with director Bill Benz, then, is somewhat predictably a mash-up of concert footage (albeit limited), set-up scenes with Brownstein attempting and failing to make a doc of her own, and creative flights of fancy that half play like sketch comedy bits. It’s certainly interesting, concerning itself with issues of performative identity and audience expectation — including, naturally, the film audience — but I found myself less than enthralled with these various manipulations. I understand all documentaries, even ones that purport to be straightforward, are still formulations, but by the end of this one, not only have we not learned much new about the pair, it’s possible we know even less.

The Nest: It has been 12 long years since Sean Durkin has made a feature film. His debut, the brilliant Martha Marcy May Marlene, earned him richly deserved praise, so this was one of the films most anticipated by critics at the festival. He does not disappoint. The film is an exceedingly slow burn concerning wealthy commodities trader, Rory (Jude Law), his wife, Allison (Carrie Coon), a horse trainer, and their two children, as he moves them from a comfortable life in New York, to a huge English mansion outside London. Shrewd and successful, Rory is still moving too fast for his own good, a fact that puts tremendous strain on his familial relationships. Played as it is, a bit like a monsterless horror film — the actual horror being our own alienation from ourselves, as well as the people we love most — Durkin’s careful, precise filmmaking, and attention to character detail, really pays off in the later scenes. Law is brilliant, as per usual, and Coon is a bloody revelation. Ironically, it’s a film that the hyper, inattentive Rory wouldn’t have been able to sit through.

Downhill: Well, we knew this was coming the second this film, an American remake of the remarkable Ruben Ostlund helmed Force Majeure, was announced. Ostlund’s film, about a family on a ski trip in the Alps, where the hapless husband flees for his life when a controlled avalanche seems to head straight for them, deserting his wife and children in the process, is all about the subtle mechanics of interpersonal relationships, and the lies we are forced into believing about ourselves. This film, from comic team Nat Faxon and Jim Rash, eschews many of these delicate details to focus on a more broad comic premise. True to form, Farrell plays his character without genuine delusion — unlike the original, it’s clear to him from the start that he ran from his family, and doesn’t really try to believe otherwise — which makes his denial far less palpable. Meanwhile, they have added in various bits to generate enough plot momentum to carry through to the finish, some of which seem to counter the film’s very premise. There are some funny bits, and enough of the original is kept in place to keep it at least mildly provocative, but everyone is still vastly better off watching the original instead.

Tomorrow: A little bit of a mix-n-match type thing: We will likely begin with the comedy Palm Springs; then switch to horror for Amulet; and take in Assassins for a lighter day.

Into the frigid climes and rarefied thin air of the spectacular Utah Mountains, I've arrived in order to document some of the sense and senselessness of the 2020 Sundance Film Festival. Over the next week, armed with little more than a heavy parka and a bevy of blank reporter's notebooks, I'll endeavor to watch as many movies as I can and report my findings.

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raleigh-ocean · 5 years

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take my soul, not my body

summary: Wilhemina wasn’t exactly sure why, but when she looked into that stranger’s eyes, she felt everything was alright. So why don’t indulge for once and let herself be loved? At least for one night, without knowing that her soul made a very different choice.

N/A: WELL I had this in my drafts for over a few days and also someone sent me ‘kiss 3 (drunk kiss) w/ wilhemina’ and she was already drinking in the draft, so i put it all together. We have Wilhemina, we have the kiss, we have the drunk part, we have the room part, we have everything! I just changed wine for a cocktail haha I hope you like this anon, is both your request and mine at the end.

The originals archive > here < in case you want to know more about the oc in here, Raleigh (yeah! my blog is named after her bc she is my favourite!). The title comes from a P!nk song, Where We Go, it gave me the right Tingle (tm) for Mina.

Late afternoon commute home was her favourite time of the day.

At least it usually was, because she got to take her mind off work and to listen whatever was going on made her feel a bit more human. As much as she wanted to show how little did she care for another human beings and how tough she was, she still felt relieved to hear that people around her were normal and not like those idiots.

Wilhemina tapped her cane for a second, disturbed, trying to concentrate in another thing that wasn't her bosses.

She gave everything to them, everything, and now she was trying to take some of that back. Searching for a better job was a start, but any paid her as much as the one at the company right away and that was the only thing that held her back from just quit. It wasn't as she didn't have her savings, but it scared her to run out of money all of a sudden.

Letting out a heavy sigh, Wilhemina rubbed the back of her neck to ease the incessant ‘thum thum’ settled in the base of her skull.

She needed some rest for sure.

And a drink.

Wilhemina found the closest itinerary and then pressed the stop button. Not far away from home, but far enough to have to still ride the bus to get back to her place. When she got off, looking around to orient herself for a second, the fresh air felt welcoming in some weird way that she actually enjoyed.

Walking down the street, she found a not too crowded place. A pub of some sorts, perfect for both drink and maybe eat if she wasn’t in the mood of cooking once at home. Sometimes you had to thank for the new trends, they could come in handy. When she settled at the bar, resting her elbows there and looking at the too fancy cocktail menu, Wilhemina thought that she was getting old - unlikely - or that maybe she had the taste of an old lady when it came to alcohol. Everything listed sounded...too fancy.

She finally settled for a thing called Kamikaze, which only stood out because it had two things she liked: vodka and something bitter. It tasted good actually, she thought for herself closing her eyes for a few seconds before taking another sip; it truly tasted like freedom.

“I’ll get another one of these,” the freedom was good and she felt like it was what she needed.

Just sitting there, drinking in silence and with the sound of the people chattering felt like heaven. Wilhemina wasn't a woman of many words usually, enjoying the silence, but it was that part of listening that reminded her that she still was part of that world.

There were nights that she thought of herself as nothing else but an empty shell, only unpinning her hair and taking off her glasses before collapsing in her bed. Those days, weeks, felt like she wanted to give up but something in her kept pushing forward. The cat, her little devil, was the only thing she didn't push away from her and as much as their love-hate relationship was, she loved Oberon.

Wilhemina thought about buying treats for the little bastard while sipping on her vodka, alcohol was really out there admitting her love for her cat already?

Taking a long sip from her third cocktail, hunger started to take over her stomach. Flipping through the menu, she couldn't settle for something at all, everything looked either disgusting or she couldn't wrap her head around the idea. She was still at that when someone sat by her side, sighing in relief as if they were walking for miles.

Curiosity took the best of Wilhemina and her eyes went to the stranger, watching how she put a backpack in the floor, against the counter, before searching for a menu apparently.

She didn't know how long her hair was, but the stranger had it pulled out of her messy braid and was letting it free over her shoulder. The scar that crossed her face was something to be afraid of, but her gentle eyes and expression calmed her down. Her clothes were a bit informal but giving the vibe that she worked in something where they needed her to be semi professional. Was she a seller? a receptionist? a teacher?

It sure made her feel something she didn’t feel for a long time.

“Hey, mister man, can I get number...eight with extra fries, a vanilla milkshake and...an Hurricane? I saw you have cocktails,” the stranger’s voice sounds tired but content, as if she was someone old that got the craving of her life.

“This ain’t New Orleans missy, we don’t have that,” the young bartender laugh at that, taking the rest of the order, and Wilhemina’s drunk brain gets a wave of rage because of how disrespectful the man sounded. She tugged at that rage, waiting as if the thing was affecting her directly. “You’ll have to get something else with your milkshake, sweetheart.”

“Then bring me some vodka shots, or you ran out of that because this ain’t Russia?” Wilhemina saw the woman grew bigger, not physically but her aura, as if she was pushing something invisible. The ‘affectionate’ names seemed to bother her to no end.

Wanting to get her sudden rage out, Wilhemina put down her empty glass with a bit more of strength than intended, drawing their attention for a second, and then she pushed both the rage and whatever was gathering in the pitch of her stomach out.

“Apologize with her, now,” the other woman looked at her with a half smile, a wild spark in her eyes while the man stood there hypnotized. “Did your mother raised you to be that impolite?”

He uttered an almost too fast ‘sorry ma’am’ while Wilhemina only pushed her glass towards him. The stranger laughed out loud at that, tapping her hands over the counter as if it was the funniest thing she witnessed in a long time.

“Good, bring another,” was the last thing she managed to say before her rage ran out.

Her mother always said that her strong will was a force to be reckoned with, both a blessing and a curse. But that same will always worked wonders with her, in tie with her appearance and overall attitude, to get what she wanted.

With her fourth glass, Wilhemina slowed down, trying to enjoy the pleasant feeling that settled in her. The woman by her side seemed occupied by taking in every detail of the place before taking out her phone, putting on her glasses and going through the notifications like only an old lady would do. She found that particular detail both endearing and laughable, but she knew how to keep it to herself even in that state.

Until her food wasn’t there, she didn’t heard the other woman saying a word. Her eyes followed the plate full of fries for a second, trying not to think about her own hunger and also resist the urge of talking with her.

Something was pulling at her from behind ever so softly, as if there was a cat lazily rubbing his tail in her back.

“So, my treat?” she had two vodka shots, offering one of them to her with a playful and soft smirk gracing her lips. “You can get some fries too, must be hungry around this hour.”

Wilhemina thought it was the gentleness behind her words, or the soft nudge to the plate inviting her to take up the offer, or how the woman smiled at her when both downed the shots, or how they got their tall chairs closer as if they were mere friends sharing a nice evening. She thought it was the alcohol even, but she indulged with open mind in the human contact.

It was what she needed after all.

Not only she took both the shot and the fries offering, both soon found themselves deep in conversation while sharing the menu Raleigh - as she presented herself - ordered. Still drunk, Wilhemina felt the new surge of energy burn every cobweb in her brain, taking a sip of her glass of Coke now. She wanted to have some fun, right? Getting wasted wasn't the main plan.

But as the night went by, talking over leftovers and a few more shots, Wilhemina started to get warmed up by Raleigh's personality. She was hundred percent sure the other woman was as content listening her rant as she herself was content to spill the beans.

Somehow Wilhemina drunkenly told her about how much she hated her job, more like how tired she was of it. Not sure why she did it, but all her worries eased when Raleigh put a hand in her forearm first and then took her hand in one of hers.

Maybe the tenderness and the warmth of the gesture pushed her in those feelings she was trying to ignore for all the night.

She was still very much human, and indulging seemed just right.

Raleigh seemed to notice the subtle change in Wilhemina's behavior but she didn't let go of her hand. And if she didn't enjoyed the delightful smirk in the other woman's lips, she was fucked.

The question fell from her lips naturally.

“How about we take the…dessert to my place?” not regrets, only whatever it's tugging at her doing God's works. Raleigh seized her for a few seconds, considering the offer. “If none is waiting for you already.”

For a second Wilhemina thought she worded everything wrong, because she let go of her hand and stood up tall and mighty and tugging at her just with her overall aura. Raleigh took off her denim jacket before putting back her backpack and when she thought she was going to leave, the only thing she did was put on a half smile and offer her arm to her.

“Off to your place then?” there was something off in her eyes for a second before an electrifying spark lightened them up, having Wilhemina feel like the cat got her tongue for once in her life. “I'll text my friend to not wait up for me while we are on the way.”

And off they went. Wilhemina helped herself up by supporting in Raleigh's arm and her cane. She expected the other woman to ask about it, but she never did and instead put her jacket over Wilhemina's shoulders when they make it out of the pub after Raleigh threw a big bill to pay for everything.

Riding commute home accompanied willingly was an experience she didn't think she will enjoy that much. They did the whole trip partially in silence, aside Wilhemina helping Raleigh figure out an app in her phone - seriously, even her felt a tech pro by Raleigh's side - and Raleigh humming a song she felt like she knew. But the silence was nice, they felt comfortable and at ease.

Even when they got to the apartment, Wilhemina felt like that was right. She was always so afraid of letting herself slip from the perfect image she had built over the years, but watching how even Oberon seemed content with the stranger relieved that feeling.

“Now you are well behaved, you little shit,” she couldn't help but chuckle when her calico cat rubbed his body around her legs too. “Don’t trust in Oberon, he would probably have your bag all scratched by morning.”

“What an absolute rascal are you,” Raleigh laughed at that and Wilhemina, still pretty much drunk, smiled at the tender tone. “My Sidonia would be good friends with him, she loves having cranky friends.”

“If your cat likes troublemakers, I suppose,” she just shrugged a bit, walking towards the kitchen counter to drop her purse there as usual. “Is she of any breed in special?”

That made the other woman laugh openly again, letting her backpack in the couch and quickly reaching for Wilhemina to help her get out of her denim jacket. She did appreciate that, feeling dizzier as the calmness of her home started to envelop her in its arms. It was always like that when she came back home from a long day.

“A neopolitan mastiff actually,” Wilhemina turned around to face Raleigh and she hold her steadily when it looked like she was going to lose her balance. Her hands didn’t leave her elbows, though, staying close. “There are so many cats in the Academy’s vicinity that she is already used to them. Still a pupper though, but she is quite a keeper.”

Raleigh was much taller than her, now that they both are face to face and Wilhemina's heels were off, and her logical part started pushing the usual worries in her mind again. Oh yeah, she was very bold and very brave to ask someone to come over to her apartment with the final intention of going full one night stand. So, so brave that she forgot for a few hours her back.

What would she do when they ended up in bed together?

How would she explain-

“You are thinking too much, darlin’,” her voice made her shake her head for a second, just finding Raleigh’s hands making their way to her lower back and encircling her slowly, asking permission with her whole demeanour. “Just do it.”

And oh God almighty, do not forgive her for doing it because she was going all in.

Her drunk brain and all that time without actually kissing combined in the sloppiest kiss she ever gave to someone. By the time their lips collided, Raleigh lowered enough that she didn’t have to straighten herself. Wilhemina’s hands found themselves in her arms, squeezing them as the kiss went deeper than any other kiss she had in her life. It was like Raleigh was trying to make her feel everything at the same time and she was holding onto it with every fibre of her body, demanding more and more as the kiss got more heated.

Arms going lower, soon Wilhemina felt how her feet took off the ground because Raleigh was holding her to be more comfortable while they were at it. Moving blindly after her cane was forgotten in the living room’s floor, Raleigh found quickly the bedroom when the other woman broke their kiss to gesture with her hand toward a double door in the living room. Wilhemina’s apartment was not that big and that was a blessing.

When Raleigh felt the bed edge against her knees, too occupied in kissing Wilhemina’s neck and upper chest because of the loose buttons of her blouse, she lowered her with such care that it made her wonder how she could control herself in this situation. They broke the new kiss and Wilhemina managed to focus her eyes in the way her lover was taking off her shirt, exposing her body before leaning again to meet her lips in yet another intense kiss.

Pulling her over her own body, Wilhemina felt more alive than she had felt in weeks. Warmth getting to places. Hands touching, roaming freely. The dizziness taking over her body, her mind in such a pleasant way. Raleigh manage to unpin her hair, the forming headache from earlier gone completely now.

“The skirt has to go,” a groan mumbled against plump lips, barely a nod in agreement. “Stockings too.”

Raleigh went down on her, tugging at the fabric after unzipping it and freeing her from both things in one go. Everything in Wilhemina's head was a total mess, it made her chuckle drunkenly as the other woman unbuttoned her blouse while kissing her way up from her navel to her lips again.

An expert on screwing secretaries? Lady bosses? Both?

She didn't know if it was the room, the alcohol, her body or Raleigh's, but she was starting to feel overwhelmed. Whatever was going on, was both the sweetest and the greediest emotion she ever felt. Another kiss and Wilhemina's hand went to Raleigh's neck, trying to make her deepen if it was even possible and upon breaking the kiss, she felt it again.

An electrifying and thick layer of something her body craved for some reason was trying to make its way to her, easily thanks to her own predisposition.

But as electrifying it was, as aroused it made her feel, her body seemed to disagree.

Tiredness was taking over suddenly, as if her whole energy was slipping out like a massive leak. Wilhemina felt herself crashing her lips against Raleigh's once more, drunk in too many ways at this point, being kissed down the her neck painfully slow afterwards.

And then her eyes got heavy with much unwanted sleep, her arms barely holding onto her lover's broad shoulders before she blacked out.

When she was able to open her eyes again, it wasn't because her mind actually wanted. Her head hurt like a bitch. Her stomach seemed eager for getting food - was that bacon what she was smelling?. Something fluffy was pressed against her cheek and when she put on her glasses, the sight of Oberon cuddling her appeared clear.

When the bastard did ever sleep with her?

Wilhemina examined her surroundings for a second, getting used to the clarity of the room and caressing carefully the sleepy devil cuddling her. Then she noticed a laptop over the opposite nightstand - not hers - and soft music playing in the kitchen, coming into the room by the double doors open a bit ajar.

It was her clothes discarded on the floor that made her remember all at once.

Shit.

Once she sat up, her legs like jelly, Oberon readjusted to the new position to lay lazily in her lap. She wasn't wearing her pajama, instead she was wearing one too big for her. Regrets started to pile up in her chest. Tightening and hurting slightly, she took the cat in her arms - he actually let her do that, unbelievable - and tried to make her way out of the room. Lacking her cane and having Oberon like that, she took her time and supported herself in the nearest wall with her free hand to reach her goal.

“Good mornin’ beautiful,” Wilhemina was welcomed by the sight of Raleigh, her phone pressed to her ear as if she was waiting for whoever was in the other side of the line, placing a plate of full breakfast in the counter. “Oh wait a second.”

Raleigh closed the distance between them in a few steps, handing over her cane as if she knew that was one of the things she was looking for. Her half smile eased her worries before going back to the stove, pushing her own glasses over the bridge of her nose and paying attention to the soft murmur that was coming from her phone.

Too tired to eavesdrop, she obeyed when Raleigh mouthed ‘eat’ and signaled her the plate - probably her own breakfast.

Not being interested in whatever the other woman was doing anymore, Wilhemina scratched Oberon's head one last time before the animal made its way to his usual place. She took the food offering, more hungry than she imagined, trying to not look at the strange view in her kitchen.

Awkwardly as it was, it comforted her though.

“...yeah, I'll call tomorrow, bye,” the ended call brought back the music Wilhemina heard from her room, softly easing the knot that was her hangovered head. Soon she had a cup of tea in front of her, which she scrunched her nose to. “Believe me, it does wonders with the hangover. You better drink it all up if you don't want to be feeling like shit the rest of the day.”

“Are these pajamas yours?” Wilhemina didn't miss a beat, going straight to the point while she took a long sip of tea. It tasted bitter at first and then sweetly spicy. “What happened last night?”

Raleigh didn't seem to care her sudden change of behaviour, smiling at her carefully. She didn't even looked surprised.

“It is indeed,” turning off the stove and placing another plate full of food for herself, Raleigh sat in front of Wilhemina. “You dozed off while I was in my way to going down on you. I didn't want to let you sleep half naked, so I took my pajamas for you and tucked you in bed,” she shrugged, taking a big bite of her toast before talking again. “Don't like to go through other people's belongings without them being conscious, sorry.”

“Oh God,” she felt her face heat up, shame flooding her whole body while she tried to cover her face with both hands.

“It's okay darlin’, it could be worse,” Wilhemina peaked through her fingers to look at Raleigh, the woman trying to pull her hand off her face. “I mean, once I ended up in an emergency room because I hit my head while having shower sex.”

“Are you for real?” it calmed her nerves knowing that happened for some reason. She let Raleigh takes her hand, lacing their fingers together.

“No, but you are now more calm,” another big laugh that took yet another piece of Wilhemina's soul with it, a thumb caressing her knuckles absent-mindedly. “You were hammered last night, it isn't weird at all if you had been working all day. I hope you don't mind I took a nap with you.”

Everything was so awkwardly soothing? They didn't exchange more words for the rest of the breakfast, though, but Wilhemina was embracing and welcoming the new situation at home with mixed feelings. As she was trying to finish the tea, Raleigh did the dishes and went back to the room to get her laptop.

The idea of that piece of Heaven ending wasn't something in her mind until she saw the other woman gathering her stuff and reorganizing it in her backpack.

“I have to go back to my hotel and get ready for some meetings I have after lunch,” Wilhemina didn't talk at all but maybe her expression gave it away. “But it was really nice spending the night with you.”

“Making out, taking care of your wasted one night stand and napping can be called ‘spending the night with someone’?” the snarky comment was met with another laugh and then Wilhemina felt her lips tug a bit in a small smile.

“I do settle for less, so this is mind blowing,” Raleigh pulled her hair up into a ponytail and Wilhemina saw all the scars in her forearms when her long sleeves slid down to her elbows. She didn't ask about them, she didn't pity her for having them, she didn't think less of her. “But if you think it isn't enough, you can always make up for it,” oh, now she was being playfully smooth. She couldn't help but raise her eyebrows at that. “If not, you don't have to use your Concilium with me; I know how to take a ‘no’ for an answer.”

Blinking in confusion, Wilhemina didn't let Raleigh know that she was actually dumbfounded by both the word and how natural the other woman was around her.

But she felt it again.

What was that? Why she was feeling that electrifying vibe around the room, tugging at her again? She liked it though, the whole thing making her feel powerful in a way she never felt before and she couldn't help but chuckle before actually saying something.

It was supposed to be a one night stand and now she was craving for more.

More freedom.

More of whatever was floating around her.

More.

“Making up for it without alcohol sounds reasonable for me,” she rubbed her eyes, probably making the make-up mess worse. “Just give me your phone, you'll probably e-mail someone my number if I let you write it down.”

Raleigh handed her the device after putting her denim jacket on - the one that now had Wilhemina's scent hanging ever so sweetly. Smudged mascara and all, she thought the redheaded woman looked stunning typing her phone number. The sarcastic nudge fired something in her, what else could she do?

Handing it back, Wilhemina took advantage of the little contact to wrap her hand around Raleigh's forearm and pulled her in for a much lucid and deep kiss.

If feeling human meant letting herself enjoy that bliss, enjoy the way a single kiss could knock her socks off, she was pretty much signing up for it a trillion times. Fuck those bastards.

It was time to let herself go.

“Lovely,” Raleigh hummed that against her lips, kissing her a second time just for the sake of it. “Later then, drink all the tea,” a soft peck, as if she was sealing a deal with unspoken magic, and she was ready to go, bidding farewell to Oberon too with a few snuggles. ��Bye Fairy King, behave.”

For a few seconds Wilhemina didn't say goodbye back, but her own curiosity won over her logical side once again.

“Raleigh?” the woman was about to close the front door when she heard her name, popping her head inside again to listen what she had to say. “You better tell me later what the fuck is that Concilium thing you said.”

The only response was an open and full laugh after a quick wink. Little did Wilhemina know that it wasn't only that what was going to hear.

Sometimes life changing offerings came from unexpected places.

#wilhemina venable #wilhemina venable x original character #wilhemina venable imagine #ahs imagines #ahs imagine #american horror story #ahs coven #ahs apocalypse #raleigh ocean

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prettywordsyouleft · 6 years

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Different Kisses with Taekwoon

Thanks so much for your request! I have been waiting for this day but also avoiding it like the plague, because Taekwoon is my ult bias (well one of them). I knew one day I’d be writing about the man who has enraptured me for many years and guess what, I’m still not ready. Naturally, I have a lot to say about Taekwoon, so this is longer than some others I’ve done. But enough from me, let’s dive in, shall we?

(I’m sorry he has no gifs of kissing at a camera or anything so this will do)

Kissing Taekwoon is an overwhelming experience for the senses, because there is so much to taste and feel with every kiss.

First kiss:

Taekwoon didn’t think in the beginning he’d fall for you as fast as he had, especially when you mocked his never-ending love for caffeine. Despite your beverage differences though, he soon found himself wanting to do everything in your company. You were someone who had entered his world by being a staff member for VIXX, and you were irreplaceable to the VIXX family. This is what made him hesitate the most when it came to confessing his feelings. He wasn’t shy about he felt and some days all he did was stop and stare whenever you brushed by, feeling jealous of your attention on his other members and not him in that moment. It was petty but he had grown accustomed to watching you, talking with you whenever he could – heck he had gone as far as making up excuses just to visit your office in the building because he hadn’t seen you all day. So seeing you pay attention to Jaehwan and his incessant chatter had soured Taekwoon greatly.

And whilst you understood under his aloof exterior that Taekwoon was softer than most people imagined him to be, he was very much so hot and cold with you. Some days he’d treat you as the only person his eyes could ever capture and on others he went out of his way to purposely avoid you. It was conflicting to keep up with how he acted, especially of late. And so you decided to approach him, a latte in hand – of course.

Taekwoon was surprised to see you in his private practice room, pausing his music and spinning to find you holding out the drink as a peace offering. After explaining that you were there to find out if everything was okay between you both, Taekwoon’s head was shaking softly, making you worried that you had done something to really aggravate him.

“No it’s not,” he started, standing up and edging closer to you. “But hopefully it will be now.”

His lips immediately followed his words, pressing into yours with a demand that even surprised him. Perhaps it was because he was rashly acting out on his otherwise calmly hidden crush but his lips were moving with more haste than he had imagined this moment, to get all his feelings out before you could react. As your head swirled and breathing was growing difficult, your mind was connecting all his behaviours lately to this conclusion. You hadn’t expected him to like you back as much as you did, and your arms were soon around his neck, anchoring yourself into the kiss so he couldn’t pull away suddenly. This seemed to calm him down and his mouth became more exploring after a deep breath in, languidly moving with yours until it slowed right down to stop.

“It’s better than I thought it’d be,” he murmured as you gazed up at him lovingly, brushing the hair away from your face, a genuine smile crossing his now swollen lips.

Public kisses:

Taekwoon isn’t going to be obvious with his PDA at all. At most he’ll hold your hand and that’s all most people will be able to catch. But there is always more happening in his company, even when out in public. He is very subtle in touching you, his hand running along your lower back quickly, and if you’re not holding hands but walking side by side, his hand will actively swing in a rhythm that matches yours, gently but purposely grazing over your readily opened palm. It’s these non-verbal gestures that really make your heart sing, knowing Taekwoon is never going to put on a show for others to see. But you don’t miss a single moment; his gaze capturing yours is enough alone to make you feel the flutters in your stomach erupt.

When you’re out and about, Taekwoon likes to keep you close. Especially if there are crowds, he doesn’t want to lose sight of you once. He remains fixated at your side as much as he can and shoots death glares at anyone who so much looks twice at you. He’s protective and brings you even closer (who knew that was possible with how close you were already), making sure no one considers you together as platonic in that moment.

Despite not doing a lot of dates out in public, he enjoys running errands or doing the groceries together. It’s a fulfilment that you didn’t understand at first but for Taekwoon since he’s an idol, doing normal, domestic things with you makes it feel deeper to him and he relishes these moments the most. Sometimes he’ll even opt to hold the shopping cart side by side, smiling down at you elatedly. I mean, the man loves food and you so what would be better than a grocery shopping date? You’ve come to really enjoy these moments too, and when you do the groceries without him around it almost feels like the fun is missing – even if you both bicker a lot over what to buy.

Private kisses:

In private Taekwoon is very affectionate. He is rather clingy and will whine if you try to prevent him from holding you. This man loves to give you endless back hugs and you have perfected the art of continuing on with some tasks whilst he’s wrapped over you. The great thing with Taekwoon being taller than you means you can both relish in this position and still do cleaning tasks together. Again, feeding into his desires for being domestic with you, this has him full of smiles or those adorable little lip purses he does and a stream of light kisses will be placed along your neck or shoulder if it’s exposed along the way. Sometimes you can even cook like this which seems ridiculous to others, but for you both, being close in connection is actually so satisfying since he’s away so often. And when the task is done, you’re easily able to spin around in his arms, burying in deep yourself, kissing his clothed chest a couple of times before tilting your head back and smiling up at him. Taekwoon leans down to kiss you gently before you finally break apart and go eat or move onto separate tasks. A lot of mindless chatter, such as asking how each other’s day has been, is spent doing tasks together like this, and you couldn’t imagine doing them any other way now.

You’re very used to finding Taekwoon staring at you throughout the day/night too, gazing at you in this indescribable way that you’d love to be able to sneak into his thoughts to find out exactly whatever he’s thinking. Sometimes he tells you but most of the time he purses his lips playfully and acts nonchalant to your questioning, using his height and stubbornness to his advantage. So you attempt to kiss it out of him, and Taekwoon can never resist when you shower him in affections, chuckling as you kiss him repeatedly, asking in between what he’s thinking. He’s a little embarrassed sometimes to share, or other times he wasn’t even sure what he was thinking other than how much he loves you. So you might not always get the answer, but you definitely got some kisses in, so it’s not all bad!

As a partner, Taekwoon is very thoughtful. He makes sure to spoil you and make sure all your needs are met; he can even often tell what mood you’re in just by looking at you. The same can be said back on your behalf, and so your relationship is very balanced with both of you affectionate to the other in ways that make you reach for the other’s lips, kissing slowly and generally with a smile involved. It’s special to know someone so well like you do Taekwoon and the how much effort he goes to for you. Whilst you don’t often take dates outside the home, they are frequent within the comforts of your apartment and not a single detail is left out. Candlelit dinners with movies on the sofa are generally your go to, but sometimes just a drawn bath shared together is just as good. He’s the type to let you find random petals on the bed when he’s hoping to be romantic with you, more candles lighting the room magically. The effort he puts in just to make you swoon and give you those fairytale vibes are always so special to you, and you cannot hold back on all the kisses, lots of passionate embraces that usually end up heading to making out (or more), laced with many thank you, I love you, and I’m so lucky to have you confessions. Because you really are. He’s old-fashioned in the way he loves you, and courting you even to this day is hugely important to him. Taekwoon wants to ensure that you know just how much he loves you, as even though he’s more talkative with you than with others, he’s still not going to outwardly tell you he loves you constantly either. So his actions always so the care and desire he wants you to experience, and you couldn’t feel more cared for by anyone.

Finally, because we have far too many kisses to do a lazy kisses scenario, ending this off with Taekwoon’s favourite thing to do with you at night (apart from the obvious okay) is to rest with his head in your lap, smiling up at you and pulling you down to meet his lips in gentle, sensual kisses. Sometimes he’ll sit up a little when he gets into it a bit too much, but otherwise, he’s happy just resting into you, as you play with his hair or rest a hand on his chest, watching television or talking together. Ah, this sounds so comfortable.

Making out:

Making out with Taekwoon happens often because he just cannot stop at one kiss when it comes to you. Most of the time it’s initiated with a gaze, his eyes full of lust as he washes his focus over you slowly, shifting from your eyes as he lingers over every curve of your body until you’re crossing the distance and taking his face within your hands and kissing him with demand. Sometimes his eyes don’t make it all the way down your frame, but if they make it back to your own eyes, he’s more than worked up and will tilt his head in request for you to come to him. You like to try your best to hold out when he’s directing you like this, wondering what it’d take for him to close the distance first. The odd times you actually manage that much self-control has you cursing when he’s finally caressing your lips with his own, the heated embrace making your mind swirl into delirium. It’s indescribable how his kisses can bring you such pleasure so easily, and you often feel like the more active one in the moment, your hands hurrying to tug at his shirt, either unbuttoning it or untucking it enough to slip your hands underneath and onto his torso or chest, Taekwoon whining into your mouth as your tongues now get entwined. He’s definitely not defined in a role as a lover, he allows you to dictate the mood, the speed and the touches just as much as he can take control too, both of you so worked up by one another that making out either has to be stopped quickly so you can take your time to recover, or you’re going to head somewhere more pleasurable quickly. And whilst this isn’t about sex with him, making out can often distract your need to get to a bed, both of you making love in many places around your apartment because the kissing and touches have gotten all too much that there is only one thought process in that moment, and that is complete connection with each other. Is it hot in here?

Morning kisses:

Mornings aren’t initially sweet and endearing, as Taekwoon can be really out of it for some time. Lots of gentle murmurs or sighs if you wake him up with light kisses, his arm that’s draped over you tightening in pressure and bringing you closer. And if you woke up spooning, you often lift his hand up to your mouth once you’ve intertwined your fingers; kissing the back of his hand and feeling him stir. He has a pretty blank look on his face when he finally opens his eyes, and needs a moment or two to actually be somewhat roused into the land of the living, but he’s all smiles when he’s finally awake, kissing the top of your head as he mumbles out a husky morning greeting. Both of you like to just lay together for some time if you can afford to, light pecks and lots of nuzzling happening as you remain tangled up in each other. Taekwoon loves to give you lots of neck kisses in the morning and has often drifted back off to a light slumber after kissing you there. And depending on if you really need to start moving or not, you let him rest a little longer, smiling to yourself at how much you must relax him.

Making up:

Whilst you’re both not the type to needlessly pick at one another, you do have arguments more frequently than some of the idols I write for. Because you’re both passionate about what matters to you most and stubborn too, well, it can easily slip into an argument if either of you aren’t careful. Taekwoon is cold and calculated when he fights, pointing out things that he’s clearly been holding onto, or injecting further insult into the situation if he’s too riled up. He won’t back down from a fight and if you get dramatic about it, he can become quite petty until you give up, storming away and locking yourself in the bathroom. He won’t approach you immediately after a fight either, internalising it for far longer than he needs to and is rather cold towards you if you happen to leave the place you’ve hidden within to settle your own emotions. Unless he’s really at fault, it’s generally you who starts the reconciliation, though he’s all too ready to find that connection with you again by now too. The focus is more on the making up than the problem that occurred the fight, so kissing each other with a little desperation attached is quite common when making up. Taekwoon hates the idea of being so disconnected that he’ll hold you to him tightly as if he were to let you go, you’d disappear. Sometimes you get so wrapped up in the making up, that you forget to address the problem and then it becomes another argument a few days later, but thankfully you’re both more than aware by this time that it needs to be addressed and will solve it maturely.

Coffee kisses:

Makes sense we start his specific kisses here, right? Taekwoon literally smells like coffee most of the time since it’s his favourite thing to drink every day. And naturally, when he kisses you, you can taste the strong flavour of his coffee that’s lingered on this breath. I’m sure there’s worse things you could taste within a kiss, but admittedly it took some adjusting to when you’re not a coffee drinker by nature. Now though, you love that he comes with this infused flavour and his teasing about you not pushing him away like you used to when he’d tried to kiss you right after taking a sip on his drink is the only frustrating thing when it comes to kissing him now.

Though he still likes to tease you, making sure to drink his coffee well before sticking his tongue into your mouth with a kiss, grinning when you scrunch your face up and chastise him for adding in too much flavour. Heh.

Teasing kisses:

There is a lot of playful banter in your relationship. You both like teasing the other and seeing how worked up you each get, his glares, pouts or whining making you giggle happily. And for you, he loves seeing you grow pink and flustered at his teasing; smiling at how cute you are that he’s soon biting at his lip. There are a lot of instances that heighten the teasing, such as when he’s being competitive with something you’re doing together, getting petty and annoyed when you beat him or he fails at it.

The kisses that you both receive during moments like these are playful too, lots of pecking before you wind up kissing until you’re breathless, the smile that was on your face completely gone by the time you pull away to suck in some air.

It can be used as a tactic too so you don’t remember what you were teasing him over, or he calms down from losing out on whatever he was competing for. Because frankly, he just won a whole lot with that kiss, let’s be real.

Flustered kisses:

Although Taekwoon has grown further confidence in life over the years of being an idol and with dating you, he still can easily get flustered and want to hide. He loves doing so within your neck, pressing his lips into you gently as he tries to recover from what you’re still teasing him about. If he’s flustered from his own accord and drops into your neck to recuperate, it can give you a bit of a surprise, especially if you try to coax out what embarrassed him and he bites down gently, attempting to change the subject. Focusing on kissing your neck often helps him calm down and he’ll place light kisses or lip presses against you until he’s gaining back some of his confidence, the kisses building a little before they peter off completely and he lifts his head up, acting as nonchalant as he possibly can.

Because nothing happened right? Uh huh >___>

Stressed kisses:

Taekwoon is the type to place a lot of expectations on himself and gets stressed out when things don’t go how he planned them to. In this heightened state retreat into himself for some time, trying to figure what the solution needs to be. But if something disrupts him during his stressed moments then he’ll become a mess internally, worrying about everything. He’s very self-critical from being somewhat of a perfectionist and if one thing is off alignment, he’ll begin to concern himself over other things following suit. He’ll scramble to make sure everything stays the way he wants it to but whilst he’s so busy concerning himself over this, he’ll not be sleeping well or looking after himself. That’s when you interfere; quietly reminding him he needs to look out for himself even when things are tough. And it’s like he’s only just realised you’re there at his side (even though he’s been ruminating over whether your relationship is stable or not when sleep is failing him) and collapses into your welcoming embrace, allowing you to hold him, to comfort him, to remind him how talented he is. How things will work out. You give him a lot of forehead kisses too, which he secretly loves receiving because it makes him feel nurtured as your partner and a person. He relaxes into your words and embrace, playing with your hands lightly as he continues to calm down. Sometimes you’ll start helping him with his problem; other times just being in each others company is enough to relieve some of his stress.

And well, if that doesn’t work, he definitely isn’t opposed to other ways of releasing tension, especially now that’s he’s so enamoured at how easily you can support him and pick him up from the darkened world viewpoint he was enduring.

Demanding/jealous kisses:

I don’t mean to discredit his parents in any way, but he’s the youngest and the only son with three sisters. Taekwoon himself has admitted to being spoilt by his family and naturally, this makes him an attention seeker because of it. He’s not going to actively bring the spotlight onto himself in his profession, but when it comes to your relationship, oh you best know that your eyes only belong on him, as does your focus.

Taekwoon is entitled and thus, jealous when he doesn’t get what he wants. It could be as simple as you doing your actual job (you still work with VIXX) and having to help Wonshik with some extra schedules, discussing with Hongbin how his acting schedule fits into his VIXX one, or simply helping Hyuk with his outfit, you can feel Taekwoon’s gaze boring right into the back of your head. And for some reason, if you’re with Hakyeon or Jaehwan for too long, he gets impatient with how jealous he is, moving away from the room in a huff and into his private practice room. He never makes a point to come over and grab your attention away; instead, he lets it fester within himself, beating it out on his electric piano keyboard.

You’re aware that he’s jealous and even if it irks you completely that he can’t separate your work life and personal life some days, you go seek him out when you have time, standing behind him with your hands on your hips. He’ll not respond to your attempts to make him admit he’s jealous but he isn’t as cold as he was before, and he whines about all the things you didn’t do for him but you did for his members. Entitled Taekwoon is petty as hell, like a petulant child who didn’t get his candy bar. And sometimes you just want to scold him like a mother would for throwing such a needless tantrum when he knows you will only love him for the rest of your life and there is no need to get jealous.

By now he’s done with talking and kisses you instead in attempts to claim you and demand your attention be on him in that moment. He dictates the kiss and just so you can’t break away from it, he’ll trap you against the wall, making sure to kiss you until you’re moaning and completely dishevelled. This doesn’t always placate you though because you haven’t forgotten why he’s kissed you so deeply like this. Depending on the mood, Taekwoon might try again to erase your annoyance, but generally, he’s pretty happy with himself by now, feeling your attention and love on him even if you’re not exactly happy with him. Any attention is good attention, right?

3am kisses:

Another one to join the night-time thoughtful club. Taekwoon sometimes struggles with sleep with how his schedule is and will watch you as you sleep beside him when he’s still awake or unable to keep asleep. It’s in these moments, where your eyelids are twitching as you dream, that he really can admit to how deeply he loves you, whispering out all the words that come to his mind when he thinks of you. And by the time he’s done imagining everything about your future together, marrying you, having children and growing old together, he’s pretty emotional. Without any further regard to your peaceful state, he reaches over and kisses you gently, hoping that focusing on your lips will help him not cry over how happy he’d be to have all that now. As you stir, he’s blinking so damn fast to try and hide his emotions. But you know from experience when he wakes you like this it’s because he’s been thinking of you a little too much, and you smile sleepily, slowly reaching to touch where his cheeks are damp and lean back in to kiss him. No words are shared in this moment, even though you’ve missed so many of his words as you dreamed, it’s like they reached you all the same and you’re so in love with Taekwoon that you don’t mind that he interrupted your dreams, being with him in real life was always way better than what your mind conjured as you slept anyway.

Being with Taekwoon is fulfilling. You always thought just being his friend, his co-worker and a member of the VIXX family was more than enough, but falling in love with him opened your world to so many more opportunities and understanding yourself more. You not only have been nurturing him and supporting his growth as a human but also finding who you truly are in the process. His love has made you into a better version of yourself and tested you in ways that you can look back on and appreciate now. There is an added anticipation within you most days, thinking about how much more you have to learn about as you grow together.

_______________

Other VIXX members: Hakyeon // Taekwoon // Ken // Hyuk

[Different Kisses Masterlist] | [Main Masterlist] | [Request Guidelines]

#jung taekwoon #taekwoon #jung leo #vixx #leo #vixx imagines #vixx scenarios #taekwoon imagines #taekwoon scenarios #boyfriend! taekwoon #kpop imagines #kpop scenarios #pwyl; different kisses #prettywordsyouleft requested

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ionica01 · 6 years

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19! (For the winter prompts) & todomomo as the pairing! I am obsessed with your writing on AO3 and I just need moreeeee. Love all your work xx

I’m sorry this took me forever, but this piece is almost 5k so I hope it makes up for it! Thank you for all your support, and from now on I’ll have more time, so expect more requests to be answered!

Without further ado, here you go: TodoMomo (quirkless AU, sorry for that) for prompt 19: Meeting your so’s parents on Christmas! Enjoy!

Momo tightens the elastic around her ponytail for the third time that morning and checks her makeup and outfit again, using the mirror over her seat to see her reflection. She’s wearing a red, knee-length skirt and a creamy sweater, and she matched the Christmasy vibe with eyeliner and red lipstick. Simple but classy, as her mom always says. She just hopes simple is good enough. Scratch that, good isn’t good enough, it has to be perfect.

The driver notices- or maybe he feels the stress emanating from her, which wouldn’t surprise Momo, her feelings are that intense- and glances at her sideways, not averting his eyes from the road for longer than a second. “You look great, Yaoyorozu.”

She whips her head around to him, so fast that she has to check her hair again to make sure she didn’t ruin it. “I’m sorry for exasperating you,” she sighs. “I just really want to not disappoint them. After all, this is your family, Todoroki-kun.”

Todoroki’s eyes soften. He doesn’t smile often, but Momo has picked up the signals that his face gives instead of smiling: there’s the way his mouth relaxes and his eyes become warm, and the ease that takes over his entire being when he’s happy. The subtle twinkle in his eyes reminds Momo of diamonds, a fit comparison given how precious his smile is. These details are probably part of the reason why Momo finds herself falling deeper in love with him each passing day.

“They’re gonna love you anyway,” he says, and his calm and confident tone eases the clutch in her stomach a bit. “Well, except for my father. He doesn’t love anyone,” Todoroki shrugs.

Momo shakes her head and bites her lower lip. “Very helpful,” she mutters, but knows Todoroki has no bad intentions. He’s just direct like that, and that’s another part of his hard to define charm.

One of Todoroki’s hands leaves the wheel to plug in an USB and he presses a few keys, probably in hopes that music will ease the tension in the car. Momo easily recognizes Next to Me, one of the songs that easily entered her top upon the first listening. Under any other circumstances, she’d sing along, but now she only clutches her hands together in her lap and closes her eyes, letting the lyrics wash over her.

A few months ago, Momo would have politely chuckled if someone were to tell her she’d be spending Christmas with her boyfriend’s family, mainly because she didn’t have a boyfriend all the way up to July and no interest in boys whatsoever until June, when she happened to stumble across a certain red and white haired boy. Literally.

A smile sneaks onto Momo’s nervous face as she remembers their first meeting. It couldn’t have been more anticlimactic even if they had followed a script. She was walking down the winding library halls while carrying a pile of books obscuring her view. She should have known that wouldn’t end well, but the library wasn’t usually brimming with people, not at the start of the vacation, at least.

Her calculations proved to be wrong, however, the moment she walked into someone and lost her balance. With books scattered all over the floor and her ankle stinging, Momo raised her eyes to a handsome face and different coloured eyes looking at her with worry. And that’s how they met.

Thinking back on it, Todoroki could have been angry, or he could have just picked up the books and walked away, or he could have not kept in touch with her. Momo is glad he did neither of the above-mentioned, because taking her to the infirmary turned into taking her home and that turned into a tea date that escalated into a movie date and a stolen kiss during the credits.

And that all led to her sitting in his car, riding to his house in the outskirts of Tokyo, with her clothes packed for a four-days-long trip. A trip that scares her more than getting a bad grade did and that stirs up more butterflies in her stomach than her first kiss.

“We’re almost there,” Todoroki’s voice breaks through Momo’s loud thoughts and she realises the song changed to Bubbly quite some time ago.

The landscape changed, too. The tall skyscrapers have vanished behind the dense clouds, and Todoroki’s black car is now slowing down on a quiet street, disturbed only by the sound of the car engine and the songs of birds who weren’t scared away by the cold. The houses are a far cry from the overcrowded city, and the wooden constructions make it easier for Momo to breathe.

“Is this where you grew up?” she asks, almost pressing her nose against the window.

“Yes. My parents were both brought up in typical Japanese houses.” Momo should have guessed- his apartment is furnished with tatami mats and low tables, and he sleeps on a futon. “This is it,” he announces as he stirs the wheel into an alleyway leading up to an impressive house, to say the least.

There was no way Momo could have mentally prepared herself for it. The house is the same size as hers, if not smaller, but the bamboo rooftop and the windscreens, as well as the two dragons guarding the front door are on a whole new level. Her heart squeezes uncomfortably, and she unconsciously grips Todoroki’s right hand. He squeezes her hand back and turns the keys in the gear.

“Come on,” he says and nudges her shoulder gently with his other hand. “Fuyumi-nee can’t wait to meet you!”

Momo gulps- her throat is dry. She’s heard a lot about Fuyumi-san though, and the stories Shouto tells her range from funny to endearing to slightly crazy. It feels like she already knows her, and this thought is enough to help her get out of the car and pick up her luggage from the back trunk.

Their arrival doesn’t go unnoticed, as proven by the swing of the front door before Momo gets to steel herself or secure her hand in Shouto’s for good luck. He’s locking up the car when the massive wooden doors open, reveal a woman- petite next to the imposing entrance- with white hair and red spots. Two other men are standing on each side of her, and Momo finds herself surprised by the fact that they aren’t wearing yukatas or samurai swords.

“Shou-chan!” the woman exclaims and jumps down the steps with calculated precision. Momo doesn’t need long to connect the dots, and by the time the woman is done hugging Shouto, she has recognized the red-haired older brother as Hoshi and his white-haired twin as Satomi.

“And you must be Yaoyorozu-chan!” Fuyumi spins on her heels with the energy of a toddler and catches Momo in an unexpected warm hug. “It’s nice to finally meet you! Shou-chan has told me so much about you, it feels like you’re already my little sister!”

“I didn’t say that much,” Todoroki quietly protests, but his attack is weak against his sister.

“Oh please! You’ve never brought a girl home before, Shouto,” Hoshi adds with a knowing grin and shakes Momo’s hand, all the while offering her a dazzling smile. Momo never thought handshakes could be this warm, but Hoshi manages to convey just as much warmth as Fuyumi through his simple gesture.

While Hoshi joins his little sister in the complex process that is teasing Todoroki, Satomi offers to pick up Momo’s luggage and leads her inside. Momo needs a total of ten seconds to figure that he’s the calmer, more reserved twin, and that none of his words are wasted. He doesn’t engage in small talk, much like Todoroki, but his actions speak for themselves, and Momo feels calm envelope her as he opens the door for her.

Todoroki jons her quickly, apparently exhausted from Hoshi and Fuyumi’s never ending string of questions. He brushes his shoulder against Momo’s to announce that he won’t leave her side again, and she smiles back, without having to force herself this time. The impossibly grande house is populated with warm people- and she’s starting to think feeling comfortable won’t be that hard of a task.

“Where’s mother?” Todoroki asks Satomi, picking up Momo’s luggage from his hands.

“She’s probably-”

“Shouto,” a female voice rings from the top of the stairs and both Momo and Todoroki whip their heads around to the speaker.

If Momo had any face associated with the word “beauty”, then it was instantly replaced with the image of Todoroki’s mother. She’s not taller than Todoroki, but her slender figure and delicate features give her an elegance that leaves a mark on Momo. She moves down the stairs one by one, with the grace of a falling snowflake, and opens her arms in a quiet invitation. Todoroki hugs her just as wordlessly, but a coy smile blooms on his mother’s face and a bond seems to be reinforced right before Momo’s eyes.

Once she lets go of her son, the woman looks at Momo and offers her a gentle smile. “You must be Yaoyorozu-san. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“The pleasure is all mine,” Momo breathes out as she bows, lower than the etiquette suggests. She feels a hand on her jaw, rising her face up, and before she can say anything else, she finds herself between the arms of Todoroki’s mother.

“Don’t bow, child. You’re a welcomed guest in our house.” The hug is warm, yet Momo can find no better comparison for it than a winter day. Maybe it’s because the woman’s hair is as white as snow, or because the contrast between her cold elegance and warm humanity is as stark as the one between fluffy mufflers and cold snowflakes, or perhaps it’s all because of the calm she bestows upon Momo.

“Welcome to our house. Please, make yourself at home,” she says as she lets go of her, and her voice is like bells jingling in the clear air of winter. “Shouto, you two can share your former room.” She turns back to look at Momo, “If you need anything, just say the word. We’ll be having dinner soon- I’d like to get to know you better.”

“We all would,” Hoshi singsongs as he waves the two goodbye.

***

Shouto hasn’t missed his house or his room in particular, but he surely likes the sight of Yaoyorozu glued to his window, her lips slightly apart as she marvels the skyscraper-less landscape. He could get used to watching her watch the city, the place he grew up in, imagining what it must have been like to live there.

Apart from his family, he has missed his cat, who is now rubbing its head against his trousers. He kneels to pet it, and she nudges him with her wet nose, sniffing at his palm. A happy meow escapes her when she recognizes the smell.

“So this is your famous cat,” Yaoyorozu leaves her spot at his windowsill. It’s as if a work of art has been disturbed when the gift of life was bestowed upon it, and Shouto now regrets not having taken any pictures. She joins him on the tatami mat and scratches Eri between her ears, eliciting a purr out of her. “Aw, isn’t she the cutest!” she gushes.

“I knew you’d love her,” Shouto says with confidence. Somehow, he knew she’d like his family in general, and that the feeling would be mutual. Still, he can’t get rid of the anxiety that comes with his father’s arrival the next day. But for now, she’s engaged in a match of who can meow the cutest with his cat, and he’s not going to let Endeavour spoil his entertainment.

Shouto decides he could watch her like this forever. He’s not sure what about her made him ask her out- he didn’t consider himself superficial enough to say it was just her beauty, but he’d be lying if he said that didn’t play a part in his decision. Whatever it was, though, he’s glad he did, because Yaoyorozu may just be one of the best thing that has ever happened to him, and her smile and melodious voice is enough to make a miserable day that much better.

He curses his growling stomach for interrupting the display of affection between his cat and his girlfriend, but she laughs it off with her jingling giggle. “I think your mother mentioned dinner in-” she checks her watch “-10 minutes. Let me freshen up and we can go downstairs?”

“Sure.”

This is all new to him- to them. Holding her hand as they climb down the stairs in his house. Her meeting his family. He remembers he’ll have to meet hers for New Year’s and feels a knot in his stomach, squeezing her hand tighter subconsciously. She interprets it as an encouragement for herself and smiles reassuringly.

This dinner must be the best one Shouto’s ever had, even taking first place from his fourth date with Yaoyorozu- the one where he finally asked her out properly. His sister presents Iida-san to them and Yaoyorozu relaxes upon finding out she’s not the only date here. Hoshi asks all about their relationship, making Shouto wonder whether he has some sort of gossip diary he gathers this information in. Satomi’s lips curve into a smile every now and then, and when Momo tells them the amusement park story, he outright laughs.

“I had never been on a roller coaster before, how was I supposed to know they were gonna let us fall?” Shouto protests quietly.

“You freezeed,” Momo giggles, a hand covering her mouth as to stifle the laughter that Shouto loves so much. Her beautiful chuckles are overpowered by Hoshi’s full laughter.

“You did the same thing when you saw a spider for the first time,” Fuyumi wheezes out between laughs.

“You’re scared of spiders?” Yaoyorozu asks.

“I used to be when I was younger. While I may not hate them as much anymore, I still prefer not seeing them.”

“You asked a nurse to kill the one that sneaked into my hospital room, though,” his mother sabotages him.

Yaoyorozu chuckles again, rendering it impossible for Shouto to pout.

The subject changes to Hoshi’s fear of shadows, though he insists he’s cured it, then to Satomi’s wife who is coming back from France the next day- no one knows how the eldest Todoroki married a photo model, because he keeps as quiet as he can about his private life, and Shouto isn’t sure whether he’s truly doing it just for her sake. Fuyumi can’t evade the wedding talk for too long, either, and dessert finds the Todorokis planning the only daughter’s floral arrangements.

“What about Zinnias?” Yaoyorozu muses. Curious looks make her continue, “They mean lasting love and goodness in the language of flowers.”

“That sounds lovely!” Fuyumi claps her hands together, pleased. “Momo-chan, you need to help me plan this wedding!” Shouto isn’t sure when his sister has gotten so chummy with his girlfriend, but women have an uncanny way of forging bonds and he’s just glad they’re getting along.

He steals a glance at his mother, who’s watching the two girls with a content smile. It’s only after dinner, when his siblings catch Yaoyorozu into their pace and whisk her away to the living room, that Shouto gets to talk to his mother.

They’re both quiet as they do the dishes, simply passing the bowls from the one to the other, the same way they used to do when Shouto was just a child, only now, he’s taller than his mother and he doesn’t need a chair to perk up on in order to reach the sink. There’s something oddly comforting about doing the dishes, and his mother’s words flow just as effortlessly as the water from the tap.

“She’s a nice girl.” He just hums in agreement. “I like her. But more importantly, you seem to really like her, too.” Shouto’s hand stills, the towel wet in his hands. His arched eyebrow is enough of a question, “It’s the cliched ‘the way you look at her’,” his mother explains with a small smile. “It’s like she’s your world, and your eyes really warm up when she laughs.”

Shouto’s eyes melt again when his mother smiles, and she tilts her head, “Just like that.”

***

Momo doesn’t need long to decide she loves this family. There’s something she noticed at Todoroki, too, that characterises all of them- the way they speak honestly, not saying what they don’t mean to say, but not beating around the bush, either. The way the siblings interact gives her more context for his ability to read her like an open book, and the strong bond they share makes her understand why his eyes light up when he brings them up in discussions.

After one of the best dinners she’s ever had- and she isn’t only talking about the quality of the food- she finds herself in the living room, sitting on a tatami mat- they cover every inch of the house- discussing which Christmas movie to watch. Shouto joins them just as they’ve decided to put Home Alone on.

“We watch this every year,” Fuyumi explains as she pulls her knees to her chest and rests her head on Iida’s shoulder. Momo feels Todoroki’s arm sneak around her waist and she nestles into him, the way they do whenever they marathon Disney movies. And just like she does then, she falls asleep right before the credits roll.

She wakes up to a bed she recognizes as not being her own, and it takes her a good minute to remember where she is. The futon next to hers is empty, and Momo guesses she slept in after the exhaustion of meeting the Todorokis yesterday.

Momo quickly brushes her teeth, pulls on a pair of jeans and her favourite, white turtleneck sweater, and she takes down the stairs two at a time. At the end of the hallway, chatter rolls out of the kitchen in waves, accompanied by the inviting smell of fresh coffee and toast.

“Morning,” she says as she slips into the full kitchen. The others greet her with wide smiles, while Todoroki pats the spot next to his. It’s only after she sits down that Momo notices a new person at the table- a gorgeous woman sitting next to Satomi, definitely his wife.

Introductions are made again, but Momo is used to them by now. So many things have changed in the span of a day: the wooden entrance doors aren’t imposing anymore, and she has enough courage to decorate them with a Christmas bell. The tatami mats don’t feel foreign under her feet any longer, and the kotatsu must be the warmest place ever.

Christmas Eve is spent decorating the house and, to Momo’s delight, she’s allowed to partake in the family traditions. The tree is white and red, which gives Fuyumi a reason to make fun of Todoroki for the aesthetic goals, calling him “Little Light”. Hoshi points out that she’s not that far from a lollipop herself, but she states that nothing can beat Shouto’s hair.

As the oldest son, Hoshi puts the first globe on the tree, then Satomi adds a candle shaped decoration, Fuyumi decorates the tree with a blue glass globe, the kind which has “snowflakes” inside, and Todoroki is allowed to put on the star. Even Satomi’s wife- Haruki- puts on a red globe, and Iida seems to have taken a liking to a plastic Santa.

Todoroki’s mother holds out the box of decorations to Momo. “Everyone puts the same thing on the tree each year, before we start the real decorating,” she explains. “You should choose yours, Yaoyorozu-san.”

Momo’s eyes grow wide. Todoroki’s mother nods encouragingly, as does Todoroki himself, so Momo peeks into the box. There are a tone of tasteful decorations there, but a glass angel attracts her attention. “This one,” she confirms and gently hangs it in the middle of the tree.

The entire family applauds, and Todoroki wraps an arm around her waist. A burst of something warm feels her insides as she understands that this is her ‘initiating’ ritual in the Todoroki family, and she leans into her boyfriend’s frame. The angel watches them all, and she prays it protects this wonderful family.

***

Shouto grows increasingly apprehensive as the evening approaches, and with it, his father’s arrival. His reaction is the only one he’s afraid of- and not because he cares about it that much. In fact, how his father perceives Yaoyorozu couldn’t matter less- to him. To her, however, he knows it’s important. And he prays his father won’t ruin Christmas for the most important person in his life.

Yaoyorozu has relaxed a great deal around his family. She, Fuyumi, Haruki and his mother even had their afternoon tea together and forbad the boys from entering- Shouto is sure this means a ton of embarrassing stories about him have reached Yaoyorozu’s ears and he’s currently running a checklist through his mind, preparing himself for the worst.

They’re in his room, him swiping through social media and her reading, head against his chest, when she suddenly puts down the book and rolls around on her stomach. He sets the phone aside as she starts talking. “I think I’m starting to understand some things.”

“Like what?”

She rolls back into her spot and Shouto starts playing with her untied hair, running his fingers through the silky black. “Where you get your careful side from. Your entire family is gentle, just like you.” He knows she’s being genuine, because she has that faraway look that means she’s emptying her soul. Eyes set on a spot on the ceiling, she continues, “And your manners are just like Satomi-san’s and your mother’s. Fuyumi-san is and Hoshi-san are much more energetic, but they also know how to listen when needed. And you have the same laugh as Fuyumi-san, you know?”

She finally looks up to him, flashing her white teeth in a heartfelt smile. Shouto can’t help but kiss her, and he feels her giggling under his lips. There’s nothing he can do but laugh as well.

***

Shouto should have known good things can’t last for too long. The sun set a few hours ago, and Hoshi’s fear of shadows comes to life as a huge one is cast over the entrance gates.

The first sign he’s here is the force with which the door is closed downstairs, the sound so loud that it startles Yaoyorozu from her playing with Eri. The cat hides behind Shouto, but he soon leaves her without cover, because he gets up and steels herself for what’s coming. Heavy steps cause crackling sounds in the floor and a deep voice growls downstairs.

Shouto’s head is spinning, and he vaguely hears Yaoyorozu’s voice. A part of him realises she’s talking to him, but the other part is trying really hard not let himself be overwhelmed by all the memories this man has engraved in his mind.

Yaoyorozu pulls his arm and her blurry face appears in his field of vision. “Todoroki-kun!” is all she says, and all he needs to hear. The fog in his mind slowly clears, and he puts up a barrier against the tornado of bad memories.

“I’m okay,” he manages. She still holds his hand though, and it takes a minute of more closed doors downstairs and Satomi’s voice for Shouto to finally ask. “Do you want to-?” he points towards the door.

She nods and squeezes his hand, and they make it down the stairs together. If that same morning holding her hand seemed magical, he deems it as necessary now.

***

The head of the Todoroki family is huge, but his presence is even bigger. As soon as Momo sees his back, she feels a shudder pass through her and digs the nails of the hand not holding Todoroki’s into her palm.

“Welcome home, father,” Todoroki says in a dry voice.

The man turns around and glares- or at least that’s how Momo interprets it. “Shouto,” is all he says as a greeting, as if acknowledging the existence of his son is more than enough. “And this is your-” he seems to struggle to get the word out “-girlfriend?”

“Yaoyorozu Momo, a pleasure to meet you,” she has enough presence of spirit to say and bows.

“I see,” is all the man says before whipping his head around and growling, “Meet me after dinner. Both of you.”

***

Hate is a strong word, even stronger than love. Shouto loves several people and things, but he only hates one, and that is his father.

A part of him -a small part of him- wants to forgive him, if only to experience a normal father-son relationship. But every time that part acts up, his scar burns and the pain in his mother’s eyes stings Shouto so deeply that he knows he can’t forgive the man who calls himself his father but never acts like one.

Sitting across from him now, Shouto feels like laughing. The man scrutinising his girlfriend puts up the act of a real father when he asks, “For how long have you two been dating?”

“Five months,” Shouto informs him.

For a moment, he ponders the information, and then he addresses her, “You said you were a Yaoyorozu, right?” She nods. “They’re good business partners. And I heard their daughter is fairly intelligent, so I suppose there’s nothing wrong with your relationship.”

Shouto knows what he means- healthy offsprings to carry on the Todoroki name. He’s glad his father at least had enough decency to keep that for himself, but the practical way in which he regards Yaoyorozu ticks him off. She’s so much more than a name and an IQ- she’s kind, and understanding, funny and gentle, elegant and cute at the same time, and Shouto feels like he wants to tell his father all of this and hide Yaoyorozu from him at the same time.

“I would like a word with you, Shouto,” the man says and Yaoyorozu knows it’s her cue to go. She bows again, and Shouto wants to tell her she’s wasting such gestures on this man, but he bites his tongue.

As soon as the sound of the closed door reaches their ears, the oldest Todoroki says, “How have you been?”

It’s weird that he worries about something like this, and Shouto wonders if it’s a trap. “Fine,” he says drily.

“And college?”

“It’s my second to last year,” he informs his father. There’s no use in telling him he’s one of the firsts in his class- if he wasn’t, he’s sure his father would have known.

“Have you thought about what you’ll do afterwards?”

Of course it is about his future. But with Endeavour, it never is the sort of paternal worries about his son’s future, but the selfish wish that Shouto would take over the family business when his older brothers weren’t deemed “good enough”.

“I haven’t decided yet,” Shouto says instead of an outright no, because he loves the business itself. He wants to keep the labs alive and could lose himself in research, but he hates the idea of doing it like his father did: ignoring the people completely and focusing only on the results.

His father lets out something akin to a sigh and Shouto tilts his head curiously, but doesn’t let it show on his face. Endeavour never sighs. He never lets any sign of weakness show, in fact. But he follows his strange manifestation by an even stranger line, “I want to change.”

Shouto thinks he didn’t hear right at first, but his father continues, “I want to become a person you’ll be proud of calling your father.”

It’s all he says, but he does make an attempt to pat Shouto’s head. The latter dodges, and to his surprise, his father only nods. “That’s all,” he eventually admits, and Shouto gets up lightheaded.

He doesn’t know when he made it up the stairs or if he closed the door, but he collapses on the futon and drapes a hand over his eyes.

“Are you okay?” Yaoyorozu’s soft voice asks, and she feels her next to him, head lowered over his face. He doesn’t need to open his eyes to know she’s worried, and he blesses her presence with every ounce of his being.

“Just overwhelmed,” he admits and inhales deeply. If what his father said was true, Christmas miracles really do exist. “I’m sorry for the way he treated you,” he continues. “That’s just what he sees people for- resumes and the ability to make a profit off their work.”

“He wasn’t as bad as you make it sound. Maybe he’s just socially inept,” she says with what Shouto interprets as a small smile. He slowly opens his eyes to see her healing face. “I’m here, okay?”

She really is- she always is there, and Shouto is has been aware of how much it means to him for awhile now, but never put it into words. It’s cheesy, but she is his Christmas miracle. Not that he’ll ever say that out loud. Instead, he says the closest thing to it, “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

#todomomo #lo writes #christmas prompts #todoroki shouto x yaoyorou momo #mine #fanfic

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themovieblogonline · 13 days

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Berlin Review: A Slow-Burn Spy Thriller That Keeps You Guessing

When it comes to spy thrillers, the new film on ZEE5 Global, Berlin, offers a unique take. The movie, directed by Atul Sabharwal, is set in the politically charged atmosphere of 1990s New Delhi. It brings together Aparshakti Khurana, playing Pushkin Verma, a sign language interpreter, and Ishwak Singh, portraying Ashok Kumar, a deaf suspect accused of espionage. With a plot that focuses heavily on interrogation, the film cleverly unravels through layers of suspense, drawing viewers into a world where silence speaks louder than words. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PxOtO3rN6h0&t=8s The Plot: An Unlikely Hero Khurana’s character, Pushkin, isn’t your typical action star. He’s a sign language expert caught in a tangled web of deception and political gamesmanship. Brought in to interpret for Ashok, he quickly finds himself navigating a much more complex situation than he anticipated. Ashok is suspected of being a spy, but this isn’t a flashy James Bond-style film. The tension builds slowly, mostly taking place within a single interrogation room, with just a few diversions into the outside world. Despite the film's quiet, slow-burn nature, it does an excellent job of keeping you on edge. Berlin is more cerebral than most spy thrillers, focusing on the subtlety of communication and the vulnerability of those caught in the middle. The deliberate pacing mirrors the suspenseful build-up, where every gesture and word takes on a greater significance. The Performances: Standout Roles Aparshakti Khurana shines in a role that is worlds apart from his usual comedic characters. As Pushkin, he adds an element of tension and subtlety, reflecting the anxiety of someone out of their depth but forced to adapt. Meanwhile, Ishwak Singh’s portrayal of Ashok adds layers to the film, especially with his ability to communicate despite being deaf, making for an intriguing dynamic between the two characters. The performances are bolstered by a supporting cast that includes heavy hitters like Rahul Bose and Kabir Bedi, bringing gravitas to the otherwise quiet, minimalist plot. Khurana, in particular, steps outside his comfort zone, as noted in interviews. The role required him to convey a mix of vulnerability and newfound courage as Pushkin slowly realizes just how deep the deception runs. Strengths and Weaknesses: The Pace Could Use a Kick While the movie succeeds in creating a tense atmosphere, the slow pace might not appeal to everyone. If you're hoping for fast-paced action, Berlin may leave you wanting more. Sure, there are moments of intrigue—especially when Pushkin gets caught up in the espionage, or when Ashok’s past starts to unravel—but the film sometimes gets bogged down in dialogue-heavy scenes. There are even moments when the mystery feels a bit too drawn out, especially as new characters and plotlines are introduced. Still, the film’s strong performances and subtle storytelling manage to hold your attention, even when the action lags. The soundtrack, dominated by soft piano melodies, works perfectly to set the mood, enhancing the espionage vibes without ever overwhelming the scenes. The Espionage Element: Deaf, But Far From Blind One of the most interesting aspects of Berlin is how it uses Ashok’s deafness as an advantage. He’s not just an observer, but someone who can pick up on details that others miss. This adds an extra layer of suspense, as viewers start to question what Ashok has seen and heard—or, more accurately, what he has perceived. Even though he's unable to hear, his sharp observational skills make him a formidable spy. The café setting in Berlin, used as a meeting point for various government agencies, adds a unique twist to the spy genre. The idea that deaf people frequent the café to prevent eavesdropping is an interesting plot device, and it serves as a reminder that espionage isn’t always about guns and car chases. Sometimes, it's about who you can trust—or, more often, who you can't. Final Verdict: A Spy Thriller for the Patient Viewer Berlin may not be everyone’s cup of tea. It lacks the action-packed sequences of Hollywood blockbusters and instead opts for a more intellectual, character-driven narrative. But for those who appreciate a slow-burn thriller filled with suspense, it’s a rewarding watch. Aparshakti Khurana and Ishwak Singh deliver standout performances, and the film’s plot—while a bit meandering at times—provides enough intrigue to keep you hooked. This isn’t your average spy flick. Instead, Berlin asks viewers to pay attention to the quiet moments, where the real story unfolds. It’s a fresh take on the genre, and while it could use a bit more speed at times, the end result is worth the wait. Read the full article

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fluidsf · 6 years

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Time Consumer: "Extractions" (2018) Reviewed format: advance review copy of digital download released on THE NEW U.S. GOVERNMENT as kindly provided by Garret Littler through Tumblr message Hello, I'm back with another review. This one is a recent release on THE NEW U.S. GOVERNMENT of the album "Extractions" by Time Consumer. This album was released on Limited Edition Cassette and Digital Album. The version I'm reviewing is the review copy which contains 16-bit/44.1kHz CD quality masters of all the 12 tracks, the album artwork I grabbed from the Bandcamp release page, as illustration of this review. "Extractions" is a full length album by Time Consumer, in his more sound collage focussed style and packs 1 hour 10 minutes of music on 12 track spread over the two sides of the Limited Edition Cassette. Quite a much longer than the split I reviewed yesterday, the album goes into a more hypnotizing minimal pure sonic texture based direction. However it's definitely a strange but also captivating and fun listen of an album. First track Times Two (on side A) is very minimal, a "knocking" mechanic kick sound is combined with vinyl crackling and other subtle ticks. It's a piece that is focused on the subtle changes in the rhythm and it's nice to also focus on the little resonances of the sounds being used, nice one. Thought Emotion is a piece produced with a nicely old-school lo-fi sound, it's full of muffled saturated bass kick noises, low Industrial bangs and delayed ticking wooden spatula like sounds, backed by a distant hiss. It's like the more organized rhythm of some site with Industrial machinery, nice murky lo-fi sound again. Gunz revolves all around a looped music sample that gets filtered and distorted over the time of this track. Additional to this music sample there's also again a kind of mechanical sound loop that makes the music sample sound more like machinery. The shifting of effects and the rhythm give the piece a hypnotizing vibe and its gets nicely dirty with distortion near the end with filter resonance hissing along nicely. On Drying we have an even murky dark ambience in the track, with muffled strange low warbled noises and hiss being accompanied by a metal sounding fast 32nd note rhythm that's being filtered in sweeps. Rather nice murky Industrial ambience, good track. On Key Command we have a beat rhythm that sounds more like a straight-forward beat with a kicklike sound and percussive field recording samples sounding like hihat and rim shot. There's also this machine beep that sounds like a cuckoo, pretty funny sound and some mechanic sound mixed in the rhythm together with some voice scraps in there. It's particularly nice how the rhythmic layers shift around in this piece and the kick sometimes gets a louder (more distorted) and then softer again, nice grooves. Joejoe starts off with a filtered slow bassy beat but after some silence moves to the main part of the track. Joejoe is literally made up of samples of a voice saying Joe repeated in a rhythm and filtered through an FFT / vocoder like filter which makes the samples sound a bit metallic like, metal piece irregularly shaking in a box. The sample rhythm gets low pass filtered in slow sweeps and near the end gets accompanied by a mysterious low filtered rumble in the background. It's a fun minimal piece with plenty of nice details to spot in the seperate parts of the sample and the shifting rhythms. On Closed Space (on the B-side) we have a much more distorted piece made of wooden sounding percussive banging, heavily distorted bassy noise and bass kick hits and an Industrial resonating fuzzy distorted drone. Besides these sounds there also seem to be some bird sounds in the mix, it's a nice screechy piece sounding like a dark version of working at a lumber workshop, work is tense and stressful and endless. Nice dirty vibes. On Timebell Time Consumer kicks off the piece with delayed and saturated cuckoo clocks sound and then moves towards the sounds of an old door bell delayed and saturated, then a heavily distorted door bell sound loop fades in and mixes in. The harmonics of the bell heavily manipulated, the loop sounds a bit like a hellish version of a doorbell, scary! The delays of the cleaner doorbell also get manipulated in delay time to create some nice quirky effects. A cool sonic meditation on the doorbell sound. Cappucino then, features the nastiest way a coffee machine can sound, it's hilariously weird in its concept, but I love it. The piece is fully based on what sounds like all kinds of device sounds from a coffee machine and nearby devices being chopped up or put in a rhythm or played with effect manipulation, including the hum and buzz of the coffee machine being put through an intense chorus effect. The sucking sound of the cappucino milk is particularly nasty. Pretty hilarious and intense piece that almost turns making a cappucino into a Noise track at points. New Recording features a stuttery mechanical motor like sound, some occasional sound breaking bangs and metal ticking sounds. Like the soundtrack off a car repair workshop, recording in a lo-fi manner. Simple in structure but enjoyable definitely. Floating Orb is the piece on this album that gets pretty melodic actually. In this case it's mostly the bassline creating the melody, this bass sound also moves a bit through the stereo field, pretty trippy sound, it's accompanied by what sounds like chopped up AM radio music that matches the bass in a way, but also creates an interesting juxtaposition between the two elements. There's quite a sweet melodic development in this track, nice. In the last track Timepass, we have vinyl crackling sounds (this time phase manipulated), similar to first track Times Two, now however, the sound is accompanied by subtle mid frequency resonating sound and some occasional metalic saturated bangs. The quiet ambience of a workshop once again, nice. "Extractions" by Time Consumer is a pretty varied and interesting lo-fi experimental sound collage album that is minimal in its structures but features quite some enjoyable sonic textural situations that recall the nice 80's old-school Industrial experimental tape releases. While this is more of an album to listen to focused, the lo-fi aesthetic and catchy rhythms give this album its own weird and enjoyable kind of aesthetic that definitely makes this a particularly different kind of listening experience. Great album. Digital Album and Limited Edition Cassette is available on the THE NEW U.S. GOVERNMENT Bandcamp page here: https://thenewusgovernment.bandcamp.com/album/newusg003-extractions

#digital download #independent music #the new u.s. government #underground music #experimental music #2018 #lo-fi experimental #rhythmic noise #sound collage #album #time consumer #Extractions

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v-le · 6 years

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Kdrama: 그냥 사랑하는 사이 Review

Foreword: The entire composition of this “rant” took me about 5 months to complete. This drama changed a part of me. That is all I have to say.

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It hasn’t been a full 24 hours since I finished the last episode of this drama, and I may have not completely collected my thoughts yet, but I just want to make one point clear: it was a beautiful masterpiece that was simply too poignant, real, haunting, and raw for the world of kdramas.

This probably sounds like a terrible diss at the rest of the kdrama world, but to call this drama a kdrama, in my opinion, undermines its value. This show went beyond the boundaries of “normal kdramas” and brought us stories that are unpopular or just rarely addressed in the realm of kdramas in general.

To start off, I have a simple disclaimer, and it is that this drama is not for everyone. For some, it is too heavy, for others it is too slow. 그 사이 requires an open mind that is willing to absorb not only all the light, but all the dark, too. Because the brightest things tend to come out of the darkness.

Especially, towards the latter half of 그 사이, I began to cry really easily for every interaction that Kang-doo and Moon-soo had, for every event that made them a little more miserable or a little happier, for anything small or big in their lives. For the first time ever while watching something, I genuinely felt the pain of their worlds reflect onto mine, not because I necessarily related with them, but because their stories felt so real and tangible, that they were beginning to coincide with the stories of my own. Even up until the very end, although I thought it would be excruciatingly difficult for me to bid farewell to these characters and everything else they came with, I ended up feeling genuinely satisfied. Because, something about it, I didn’t feel like their stories actually ended there. It really does feel like Kang-doo and Moon-soo, and everyone else including Seo Joo-won, Jung Yoo-jin, Jung Yoo-taek, Ma-ri, Moon-soo’s mother, and Sang-man, too, are still living their lives somewhere far away from me right now in this moment. And to me, that was magical. Because whenever I finish a drama, especially a good one, I always felt extremely empty after its end. The withdrawal symptoms from amazing dramas are one of the hardest withdrawals to cope with. But after 그 사이, I of course felt regretful that it was over so fast, but I didn’t necessarily long to keep watching more and more, which probably sounds very odd, and maybe even bad.

But, no. Simply put, the way 그 사이 chose to wrap up these intricate storylines made everything feel overwhelmingly realistic. It wasn’t the ending of a story, but more like the closing of the curtains, the turning off of the cameras, and the end of the audience’s privileged priviness to their lives thus far. But the characters themselves, it didn’t feel like their stories ended anywhere close to there. I firmly feel like they are continuing. Just continuing.

How this drama managed to pull off such a clean finale, is something I will save to think about later. I know I am hopping around all over the place right now, but I felt that my post-finale thoughts had to be recorded promptly, before they drifted from me. Now, I want to back it up all the way to the end, to even before 그 사이 began to air. Oh, how grateful and glad I am to have noticed its uniqueness even prior to its actual premier. Of course, I didn’t exactly expect it to nearly change a part of me, but I had the slightest, really, just oh-so slightest inclination that this drama might contain all the elements that my heart has been searching for for so long.

After years of watching kdramas, one’s standards begin to naturally rise, and by today, I am definitely very picky with what I consider a “good” drama. Granted, everyone’s preferences are subjective, and my very own may be more specific than others’, but if anything, that probably enabled 그 사이 to rise in ranks faster than I ever expected.

Just from its posters, 그 사이 exuded a sort of ethereal calamity that most dramas don’t really go for these days. Everyone associated 그 사이 with the word “melo”. I am not sure if I completely agree with that description, because like the word “kdrama”, labeling 그 사이 as “melo” seems to undermine its value in a negative way. Melos have a stigma for being slow paced, dragged out, over-dramatic, and tear-filled for more than half the series. The most “melo” part of 그 사이 is the fact that its pace is definitely calmer; it didn’t rush into events and plot twists. But that is, in no way, a bad part of it. I will get back to its elements later. But trust me, slow added a gorgeous feat to 그 사이.

Going back to what I mentioned about the posters, specifically the one above, it felt like a movie. I had mentioned this to my friend, but upon watching the teasers and scrolling through a few images, the biggest thing that piqued my interest was that “it seriously looks like a movie!!!!”. Now, what I mean by “a movie” might sound pretty lame. However, personally, I am not a frequent moviegoer. In fact, I am barely a moviegoer at all. This is because I always felt overwhelmed by the end of movies, regardless of the genre. Movies were always so concise, impactful, and had the ability to leave a really strong, lasting impression within a really short amount of time. That sort of stuff always threw me off; it was just always too much for my brain to handle. Dramas and shows on the other hand, are way more subtle. I get to wean myself into the emotions and storylines, and there is an added level of depth simply due to the fact that they are longer than just an hour and a half or so.

And so, with 그 사이 giving me movie vibes, meant that I felt like it had plenty of room to hit me like a truck and leave me with a few scars, while at the same time, playing itself out as a 16-episode series. The prominent usage of cool colors, mellowed-down instrumental tones, wistful voiceovers, and a cityscape that wasn’t your classic, bright uptown Seoul, but instead a somber yet colorful Busan, all left a very strong, but refreshing first impression on me. It really looked like a movie. Its feats and details looked grand from the get go. It meant that I had a gut feeling that this show was really, seriously, going to move me. And it truly did.

initialization & continuation--

The very first episode, like most first episodes, introduced us to the one thing that this entire series basically revolves around: the mall collapse accident. I don’t want to exactly recap what the first few episodes were about, but more of what stood out to me that made 그 사이 feel much more special than anything else out there so far.

Moon-soo is a hard worker, balancing a lowkey, blue-collared “job” for her family, as well as working as a designer. Aside from the maybe flawed balance of “work” she has going on, 그 사이 decides to show us the mundane parts, too. Clips of her scrubbing the walls, sweeping the floors, building paper models, simply going about the daily rounds in her life. The initial portrayal of Moon-soo accomplished something that many dramas cannot really pull off, and that is that Moon-soo is just like you and me. Maybe not in the same exact occupational way, but she wakes up in the morning, maybe restlessly, maybe a little bit miserably, she does the things she needs to do, she tends to her responsibilities, and she simply carries on her with life. Of course, not everyone can relate to her on an emotional level, but in a way, we can relate to carrying on with our days no matter how hard it gets. We can see that Moon-soo isn’t that happiest soul in the world, but she isn’t oversensitive and extra mopey, either. She reflects a part of us that we can empathize with, to varying degrees.

The most prominent thing that I initially noticed about Kang-doo was his sharp tongue and the fact that he was always getting beat up and walking around with scars and blood stains. At first glance, many would probably assume that he was your classic, reckless bad boy that doesn’t give two shits about the world. And to an extent, that is true. However, we are also fully aware of the kind of ordeals he has gone through, and we could, or at least I could, sort of feel this underlying pain that he carries around within himself. The eternal scars that Kang-doo carries within himself still haunt me to this day. I can’t even begin to fathom, how hard it must be, to carry so much trauma within one’s own mind. I can’t even imagine how hard it must be to have your father die in an accident, to have been buried beneath rubble for 7 days, to have been stuck with a dead body, to have watched him die, to have your mother die promptly afterwards, to legitimately have schizophrenia due to the all these ordeals combined. In short, Kang-doo is fucked up in ways unimaginable to a normal person, but he hides it all away behind his cold eyes in a heavy layer of bruteness and disregard. From the very beginning, I could feel that Kang-doo’s character has so much complexity, to a point where I couldn’t even comprehend how deep the series would choose to dig out from him. I was excited, but at the same time, apprehensive to watch his story unfold. I knew I had to prepare myself for some massive waterworks. This, in itself, was something a drama had never presented to me with before. 그 사이, I could tell, would not be your cliche kind of romance story.

Even the opening, since the very first episode when I saw it, it pulled at something deeper than anything else. It is comprised of still frames of tragic accidents or sites of rubble and such. It is haunting for an opening and it definitely left a huge impression on me. It established a heavy aura that rarely any dramas dare to take on.

Another random but poignant point that stuck with me was the scene in which Halmoni was smoking, and she passes the cigarette to Kang-doo, who also takes a puff. We only see the back of their figures as they sit on swings, but when they turn their faces to the side, we can clearly see that it is the actors themselves smoking, and not some sort of lookalikes. This left a lasting impression because it almost felt shocking, to watch Jun-ho of 2PM smoke so blatantly like that. Korean media always heavily censors these kinds of things, even if it’s ingrained into their culture like smoking sort of is. Watching him smoke felt kind of scary, in a good way. It felt real, that yes, even someone who is a top idol that sings and dances and has to maintain some sort of pretty image 24/7, can and will smoke. So fun fact: kpop idols are humans, too!

The other characters as well, Wan-jin and Sang-man and Moon-soo’s mom, and Seo Joo-won, Jung Yoo-jin, Ma-ri and Jung Yoo-taek, and Halmeoni played their own special, but very symbolic role as 그 사이 progressed.

Since our introduction to Sang-man, we can get the gist that he is “not normal”. Once again, at first glance, Sang-man looks like a guy who is mentally slower than everyone else. But with time, we get to learn how much more mature he actually is than the rest of our crew, in his own special kind of way. Some of his simplest lines hit the deepest, and although he wasn't exactly my all-time favorite character, I can safely say that he was a hidden gem amongst this web of characters. He is extremely precious, and he shows the audience a beautiful side to being mentally “different”.

Then, we have Wan-jin who contributes to 그 사이 as a figure of immense support for Moon-soo. They share a friendship through their hardships and that in itself resonated really well with me. Throughout this series, we get to see small snippets of how the disabled are disadvantaged and disrespected, too. There is one scene that stands out to me, which is when Wan-jin tells her assistant (idr his name) that she doesn’t want his pity, but she simply wants to be treated like human, like everyone else. Because she is no less a person than anyone else is.

Even Ma-ri, head of the karaoke place that essentially “sells” girls for their presence: at first glance, she is your classic, rich, and manipulative female figure. But underneath that layer of presumable impurity, she is actually the victim of sexual abuse who has worked her way to her place and owes her life to the bravery of Kang-doo himself.

Furthermore, Moon-soo’s mother is more than a lamenting mother who has lost a child, but she is in particular, an alcoholic. Her relationship with her husband has gone sour and she barely manages to hang onto her sanity with the help of soju and Moon-soo by her side. Her mother portrays the agony of a child’s death in such a surreal way, that it only felt right for her to not be okay, in every way possible. She was a complete mess, but rightfully so. Her battle with alcohol didn’t end as just an unsolved addiction, but we were even able to see her enter rehab and conquer herself from within at the end of the drama.

Halmeoni played such an immensely pivotal role in this story. Her words of wisdom sat with viewers even weeks after she said them on screen. One of my personal favorites is “Just because someone is yelling louder doesn’t mean that they are hurting more”. Halmeoni played a sort of role that was like a guardian angel, who was present to give all that she could, until her own time was up. Her sharp tongue and snarky attitude made her likable in the most unique of ways. Because in the end, she was always sort of right. One of the hardest hitting things that Halmeoni talked about was when she was scolding Kang-doo’s sister, saying that it isn’t cigarettes nor cancer nor car accidents nor drugs that kill people. It is poverty. Because a lot of the times, poverty pushes people into these situations. And especially so, it is those in poverty that don’t have the resources to help themselves, in which they are left helpless to die. Halmeoni preached to viewers that poverty is the number one killer of humans. Her departure from the lives of our characters, and particularly Kang-doo’s, left a void that was meant for filling. I will never get over this, but I absolutely love how the show decided to handle her death. We didn’t see any funeral procession or all-black attire or wreaths or a nicely framed portrait. We just saw the aftermath, the broken pieces of Kang-doo and others, and we get to see how they pick themselves back up from all of it. It was a work of art, and it hit much, much, much more deeper than showing us the explicit parts.

All these supporting characters surrounding Moon-soo and Kang-doo indirectly dealt with things like mental health, people with disabilities, sexual assault, poverty, and even alcohol abuse. Aside from the obvious central theme of post-traumatic stress and remembering the forgotten, 그 사이 decided to touch upon these seemingly subtle, but very sensitive topics as well. All these characters were messed up or struggling in some sort of very real way. And it was so, so well done.

The next thing that I absolutely loved about 그 사이 was the progression of Kang-doo and Moon-soo’s relationship. It was simply drawn out so gorgeously. Of course, their fate began in a cliche sort of way, through the accident in which they both lost a loved one. However, this fact was only apparent to Kang-doo for a significant part of their progression. Moon-soo’s inability to remember the bits and pieces of the accident are compensated for through Kang-doo’s haunting ability to recall every miniscule detail, to an extent where he is mentally unstable. Time and time again, Kang-doo asks Moon-soo, what is the point of both of them suffering when only one needs to? This question was raised more than once during 그 사이 and I came to appreciate a sort of two-sided beauty to it. The fact is that, Kang-doo didn’t want another loved one to suffer, but Moon-soo didn’t want Kang-doo to suffer alone. Is it better to suffer alone and hold all the pain in? Or should you share the burden because it may be too much for one to handle alone? This is a dilemma that I resonate with in terms of my very own friends and loved ones. It is a question that we have all asked ourselves at one point. And it is a question that was at the forefront of Kang-doo and Moon-soo’s relationship.

Another thing with these two is that they came to love each other flawlessly. Although this came up before during Joo-won and Kang-doo’s conversation, when Moon-soo asks why Kang-doo loves her, he says “그냥” (just because). And that my friend, was the end of me. The End.

Of course, this definitely was not the only scene in which I cried, but it sure did release a flood of some sort. When posed with this question, the leads of many dramas don’t always list out amazing features of their significant other or anything, and they even say the similar things along the lines of “Do I even need a reason?”. But a one word answer, spoken so genuinely, so lovingly from someone who has gone through so goddamn much, has so much more meaning than a paragraph or an essay or even a book about how much he loves Moon-soo. It hits deeper than mundanely loving someone because they are pretty or accomplished or an amazing person. It touches upon a sort of love that only them two can feel and possess. Only them two, and no one else, will ever understand. And the feeling that this one-word description gave me, was one of a sort of invasion. I felt like I was intruding on something so precious and dear, the fact that Kang-doo spoke “그냥” in itself already felt like much, much more than I already should be allowed to know. I felt like anything further said would just tarnish the beauty of it all. That is simply how real and stunning their affection for each other felt.

Another point that many others could probably agree with is how their physical interactions exuded overwhelming chemistry out of the simplest actions. All they did was hold hands for a really, long freaking time, but it felt a million times deeper than just hand holding. Even when the two finally kissed, there was nothing extravagant about it. The two just genuinely wanted to be with each other. And that was enough. In fact, it was more than enough. I probably sound like a broken record by now, but these two felt so natural and organic together that I almost felt like I didn’t deserve to watch them be so cute and coupley and just in love. The surrealism was overwhelming and it is something that could only come about from stellar writing, and of course, the performances of Lee Jun-ho and Won Jin-ah.

Jun-ho absolutely blew me away. Watching him progress through this drama made me fall for him, hard. Honestly, I sort of want to not even talk about the fact that he is also an idol, too, because the stigma of idol-actors has no place in this drama. Jun-ho literally made himself into this person. Usually, when actors play a significant role, and even when they pull it off really well, I still tend to associate the actor himself with that one character, not in a bad way, but as a form of infatuation (e.g. Ryu Jun-yeol as Kim Jung-hwan in ‘88). Not to say that seeing that actor only reminds me of that one character, but more like, I always tend to see flecks of the character that I can never fully shake off no matter how hard I try.

But for Jun-ho as Kang-doo, this is not the case. I can separate the two, very clearly, too. Of course, as a person, they have completely different personalities and such, but its the fact that I can see Kang-doo existing in this world as well as Jun-ho the actor, idol, and human, too. Because that’s just how well he played it. And don’t even get me started on how multi-talented Jun-ho is as a person in real life, too. The fact that he can dance and sing super fucking well (with countless solo songs and albums to call his own) further blows my mind and raises him up to the top ranks of my favorite actors. There is nothing this guy can’t do. And I just want to mention, he isn’t particularly handsome or anything. To me, it is endless charms and abilities that make Jun-ho such a likable guy. I am absolutely proud to have watched him grow thus far.

As for Won Jin-ah, it was already hyped from the beginning that she was chosen out of “120 auditions” which is indeed a big feat, but I think just further adds to her credibility as an outstanding actress. She has such natural features of expression, and of course, that pure, innocent kind of vibe that is commonly taken for granted among actresses. I am going to be honest here, I am not as good at dissecting female performances compared to male performances, mostly because I am a female myself, but Won Jin-ah fit Moon-soo so well that I truly can’t see her as anyone else. I know that that kind of saying is a bit overused for many characters played by certain actors, but I truly do mean it in the same way I talked about Jun-ho as Kang-doo. She made herself into Moon-soo, in which I can firmly believe there is a Ha Moon-soo somewhere out there working at her mother’s bathhouse and making models, while there is also the actress Won Jin-ah doing her job.

It is just stunning, how intricate and detailed these characters were, and how well they came to life on screen. I can’t get over it, I just really can’t. If I daresay, it was almost as if I was watching a documentary. These two were that real together. It was heartbreakingly beautiful.

Which takes me into the angst realm of 그 사이. Many, many commenters of this drama mentioned how heavy it was, and how it was difficult to watch during hard times and such. But for me, although I admit I am a total sucker for dark and depressing shows anyway, its heaviness weighed me down in all the right ways. It tugged at the right corners of my heart, to a point where for the first time ever, I literally bawled my eyes out because of something beautiful.

It is pretty hard to explain, how I felt as I watched their lives unfold. The most prominent feeling, of course, was sadness and pain for when the characters themselves were in pain. Sometimes, I could feel the pain physically in my chest, and I wished until the end of the world that everything could be okay. But at the same time, when things just seemed to happen at the right moments in time, when their fingers seemed to intertwine at all the perfect angles, I weeped like there was no tomorrow because have you ever seen a couple so beautiful before? I haven’t, I really haven’t.

Anything that heals must have been hurt before, too. And that is Kang-doo and Moon-soo. They provide each other with a sort of healing that only they can feel and understand. While one radiates pain and suffering, the other absorbs it all and folds it with love into the layers that is their relationship. I agree to an extent that their occasional back-and-forth-ness got a little bit out of hand, but I also see it is as a sort of apprehensiveness. That these two loved each other so much, that they wanted to avoid hurting the other in any way possible.

So as much as their agony from the unfortunate events in their lives caused, and as much as they cried themselves, I cried along with them, the entire way through. And when there were those small, gorgeous moments of the light shining through the cracks for just a little while, I still cried. Mundane moments reflected something so much deeper than any viewer can feel on their own accord. Crying a shit ton during a show probably sounds like a negative thing, but for me, it simply shows me how much 그 사이 moved me. It moved my soul to peer into places deeper than the deepest places of my imagination. Even when I was simply walking to class in the middle of the day, I got choked up just thinking about Kang-doo and Moon-soo and how everything might unfold before them, for better or for worse.

Everything that happened between Kang-doo and Moon-soo felt so raw with emotion. Each line spoken to each other was purposeful and wistful. There really never was a dull moment between the two. The way in which some of the scenes were shot, the camera would shake in the slightest. It made it all look so brutally realistic, as if we were really there, privy to their thoughts and secrets and feelings.

그 사이 literally took over my life for the weeks that it was airing, and although this obsessive enthusiasm wasn’t exactly new to me (Healer & Reply ‘88 both accomplished this), it pushed me to ask why this show had the ability to do so. I honestly don’t think words alone will ever fully be enough to explain all of the pure beauty in 그 사이, but words are all I have at my expense.

silhouettes & hands & ice cream & carrots--

These are the small things that made this drama all the more ethereal. The cinematography and the way the sunlight hit the camera at certain angles, it literally printed itself onto my brain. These frames were magnificent and nearly struck a tear in my eye each time. The usage of silhouettes as well, was so, extremely well done here. I have no words.

One of the biggest things that also stood out significantly to me, although maybe not that big of a deal, but definitely worth a mention, was how well her hand fit into his. I have never felt such a swell of emotions through people simply holding hands. I swear to god, it is as if their hands were made for each other. Her hands are perfectly smaller than his, which means his covered them effortlessly. “You were born to be loved by me, right?” asks Kang-doo. Some of his lines were honestly so cringey, but Jun-ho pulled them off so well, they seriously sounded really natural to me. 100% cute and 0% corny.

And of course, the iconic ice creams. The fact that by the end of the drama, Moon-soo herself actually likes ice cream, too, can it get any cuter. To add to the cuteness, in real life, Jun-ho is ice cream obsessed, always posing with it, talking about it, even writing a song about it, and of course, eating it. I feel like the symbol of ice cream was sort of like Jun-ho’s piece to take from Kang-doo. It is like a part of him that he gave to his character, to fully make it his, but not exactly him.

The carrot is iconic because of the one line we can never forget. The line that Moon-soo meant, but didn’t really mean at the same time. The line that sputtered out of her mouth in a funny, exasperating way, but also in a meaningful, deeper, heartfelt way. Me too, Moon-soo, me too. I like a man that eats carrots, too.

thank yous & i love yous & geu sa-i--

This motif was quite a prominent one, but after thinking about it more, I started to realize the sort of message the writer and director were possibly trying to get at. The “i love you”s were touching and cute and everything, but the line(s) that got to me the most were not those three stereotypically monumental words, but it was the “thank you”s that cut deeper than most. How many dramas have you watched where the couple consistently thanked each other? And what kind of meaning did those thank yous hold? In 그 사이, Moon-soo and Kang-doo exchanged genuine, heartfelt thank yous.

The thing with these thank yous though, is that they have a multitude of meanings. “Thank you for picking me up today.” “Thank you for calling me.” “Thank you for being there for me.” “Thank you for loving me.” “Thank you for being you.” “Thank you for staying by my side.” “Thank you for being alive.” I could go on and on, but you get the point. These thank yous meant the universe to them, they relayed a sort of gratitude and passion and sentiment that only these two could feel and share. It all just felt so organic.

Next, I want to discuss the “trope” that 그 사이 utilized in which Kang-doo was fighting for his life towards the end of it all. This part was excruciatingly painful to watch, mostly because I honestly couldn’t tell how they were going to end it all. Nor could I really understand what sort of meaning each kind of ending could have. If they ended it happily ever after, why? And if not, what else were they trying to say? I just couldn’t tell.

Kang-doo was suffering from a failing liver, and I think it only made sense. From day one, he is depicted as reckless, especially towards his own body. A comment somewhere on Dramabeans stated it nicely: “Grandma kept telling him to stop taking [the painkillers] and to let his pain out instead, and with no granny to give him placebos, he ended up taking real, strong painkillers.” I feel like 그 사이 toyed with Kang-doo’s life as a sort of reality check, that shit goes on, no matter how good or bad everything seems to be turning out, shit still goes on. But by saving him, of course, maybe they are telling us that miracles really do exist. Most importantly, they don’t forget to remind us that these miracles may come at the expense of others’ own misfortunes.

And if anything, the dragging out of Kang-doo’s potential death left room for the supporting to characters to come out and shower Kang-doo with love. I can’t remember the quote exactly, but it was when the doctor asked Jae-young what kind of person her brother was, that so many random people were coming forward to readily donate a part of their liver as if it was no big deal. But Ma-ri countered wonderfully, that it is a serious decision to make, which is all the reason why it matters so much more. It was super duper heartwarming to see everyone try their best, in any way, to help Kang-doo and just have him live. I feel like giving us the most plausible hope of Sang-man specifically, was symbolic in which he, of all people, literally the most profound, but possibly most childish person out of our entire bunch, would be the one to save Kang-doo. But it also felt brutally realistic when they suddenly took him away as a donor because life just doesn’t get to work out perfectly like that all the time. But also with last-minute miracles, life kinda does tend to work out at the perfect times. Life is luck? Maybe.

But the ending scene, that goddamn, fucking gorgeous ending scene. I don’t even care if people whine all they want about how ending with a kiss scene is cliche and overrated, just leave me be to pick this one apart. In fact, the part that got me the most choked up wasn’t even the kiss itself (I mean, it partly was), but it was the dialogue, the eyes, the expressions, and the voiceover that got me wailing like a drowning beluga whale in the middle of the Atlantic ocean. Like smack dab in the middle. Wailing incessantly. That was me.

Because here is the thing. First off, we pan into a frame that overlooks the Busan cityscape as the sun is setting, the bright houses are subtly flashing their hues, the horizon is glowing all sorts of reds and blues and pinks and oranges and purples, and our couple’s silhouette is situated perfectly at the center of it all. Literally, just that still frame of that scene itself, took my breath away. Stunning cinematography at its finest. Moon-soo tells Kang-doo that she loves him, which we haven’t gotten a chance to hear after all the times he’s already told her the same. But here she says it and her eyes are literally glowing, and his eyes are peaceful yet joyous at the same time, the most comfortable, and just the most at-home I have ever seen them throughout the entire series. And then there is a really long pause with no dialogue, no sounds, no loud blowing, just a blank, subtle, empty noise, as he cradles her face which somehow just manages to fit perfectly into his hand, and then Kang-doo’s voice breaks through the ever-so-slightly prolonged silence, and he narrates “Moon-soo loves me”.

I will repeat that just in case you couldn’t read it above: “Moon-soo loves me”.

The impact that this one simple line had was massive, colossal, unimaginably poignant, and it hit me. Deep. This one line, I feel, gave validation to this entire show, to all our hours devoted to watching it, to the characters’ actions, and most importantly, to Kang-doo’s life. Throughout the entirety of 그 사이, he is literally battling for his life, not only physically at the end, but emotionally and mentally as well. He very much lacked that spark of purpose, the thing that made him live. Not to denounce his worth and say that now his life only boils down to Moon-soo’s love for him. It’s more like, she gives him another beginning. Kang-doo states this eloquently when talking with Seo Joo-won on the roof about why he loves her. “Just because”. He continues, “I was a man that could only live by the day. But after meeting her, I was curious about tomorrow”.

And so “Moon-soo loves me” is so pivotal in which Kang-doo has mostly, hopefully relieved himself of all the shit and guilt and trauma and struggles that he has been fighting from within, and all he needs in his life to keep going is Moon-soo’s love. This line is followed up with a “The fact that we are alive… it is a relief.” How fucking beautiful is that.

And now, this is where I can come full circle to the title of this drama, “그냥 사랑하는 사이”. The English of this has been commonly translated as “Just Between Lovers”, but as you can tell since the beginning of this composition, I do not prefer to use that title, for several reasons. The main one is that, well, sometimes there are things in other languages that you really just cannot translate. “그냥 사랑하는 사이” is one of them. The meaning that it has in Korean, the feelings and implications that it carries with it, simply cannot be translated into the English language. If I wanted to try, it would be something along the lines of “just your average, simple relationship between two people that love each other”. Which still sounds pretty stupid in English, but with those extra strands of meaning, and even more added depth, is what the Korean title holds. Also, for simplicity’s sake, Korean phrases tend to be condensed into acronym-like words. In this case though, “그냥 사랑하는 사이 (geu-nyang sa-rang-ha-neun sa-i)” as an acronym-ish kind of word is simply “그 사이 (geu sa-i)” in which the “냥 (nyang)” and “사랑하는” (meaning “loving”) are removed to now signify something along the lines of literally: “that relationship” or “a relationship”. “그” is used as sort of an article, I guess, meaning “that” or “a”, or basically anything not really specific like his or hers or yours. **I have never learned Korean formally, and everything I’m saying is legitimately self-taught, so please don’t quote me on any of this, but I am just trying to get my point across as best as I can LOL** This all boils down to how, to me, “그 사이” is so simple yet touching and moving and so full of meaning, that it has this sort of immense, hidden beauty to it. Not only is it, in this case, a shortened version of “그냥 사랑하는 사이”, but “그 사이” as a phrase in any context is seemingly mundane, but carries so much more than meets the eye.

Just like, you know, a relationship. But not actually. The love part sounds simple enough, and it is. They love. But how they came to love, what it means to them, contains a meaning so deep and intricate that, maybe, just to make things easier and to even preserve its profound beauty that we will never understand, we will leave it as... just a relationship.

And I find that incredibly moving. I am struggling right now, to type down my feelings, but I hope that it is working to an extent. For the first time ever, a drama’s title actually seemed to fit, in less of a relevancy sort of way, but in much more of a meaningful, heartfelt way. The title of this drama is so short, so plain, almost boring-sounding, but it encompassed so much more than that. It encompassed an entire, full relationship of two people that come to love, or even more than love, but live, through pain and deaths and guilt and hardships and tears and growth and interdependence, and just each other.

There is an infinite amount of complexity hidden within the seemingly thin and obvious layers of 그 사이, and I think this is what is at the center of its ethereal beauty as a show for viewers to absorb. The words behind the characters’ actions and the events that occur carry immaculate weight, that it makes you question things, maybe even about your own life. This is a sort of art that I have never, ever seen a show demonstrate, and it completely took my breath away. It left a million pieces of my heart shattered on the floor. I literally feel like my life has changed, even if just a little bit.

Which now brings me to the things that this show wanted to tell the audience. When commenting about 그 사이, many people tended to say something along the lines of “It had great messages, it was so deep, etc.” and yes, I agree with that, too. But nowhere did anyone actually say what those messages were. I feel like there is an infinite number of lessons 그 사이 wanted to teach us, but I’ll try to point out the more noticeable ones first.

think about this--

Remember the forgotten.

Awareness is one of the strongest forces, because knowledge is power. I feel that, amidst people’s ordinary lives, we sometimes forget to remember those who simply never had a chance to live. We all live so voraciously and fervently, but it is important to be aware of that fervor that couldn’t be. Some people questioned the intent of leaving out the final product of the memorial that our two leads were working so hard on throughout the entire show. One commentator wrote simply: "In a way, it gave cadence to the idea that the memorial wasn't for the public or even us as the viewers. It belongs to the victims and the survivors of the tragedy." Very well articulated. Nothing more is needed.

Poverty kills.

I touched upon this one a little bit in the above text, but here, I’m just going to lay down Halmeoni’s entire spiel because no could have said it better than her.

Mental trauma is in its own way, more painful than any physical sort of pain.

Jun-ho demonstrates this so hauntingly and beautifully through his acting as the broken Kang-doo. In an interview that Jun-ho had after wrapping up filming, he says, "I didn't know what these people thought. It's something you won't know if you haven't been through it. You have to experience pain to know what it feels like. So I didn't even dare to try to understand them. I just used my own method of shutting myself away”. So much personal heart and character lies within those words, making his performance even more credible and noteworthy. Here is a line from the wise ol’ Halmeoni that hits pretty deep.

Never take life for granted.

I feel like this sort of message has such redundancy and insensibility in common-day life, but it is a reality that 그 사이 brings to life gorgeously. These characters are struggling in the depths of their own despair on a daily basis. But in the end, we get to see them prevail in some sort of way, with the help of each other’s sheer existence. In the same interview, Jun-ho says, “You don't take things for granted. Every little thing from the sun and wind, is important.” It is so poignant, to see the actor himself connect so deeply with the plot and depth of the story itself. The ending scene of 그 사이 paints this message in the air and the wind, from Kang-doo’s very own voiceover. He says, “Because we survived… it’s a relief”. And that’s it. That concludes the entirety of 그 사이. What huge punch to the guts that line was. It was so bold, heart-rendering, and just true. It was true, that the simple fact that we are living our own lives, sad or happy, good or bad, pain or not, we are alive, and that is all that matters in the end.

words & frames--

In addition, I want to include a few more lines (that are conveniently included within the beautiful OST MVs produced by El Music Studio) that struck huge cracks into my soul as they were spoken aloud on screen. Honestly, these lines sound much better in Korean because there is a sort of depth that an English translation isn’t able to capture, but that is okay. English will just have to do.

“Misery is just... being miserable.”

“Looking down from such a high place like this, people don’t really look like people anymore, do they?”

“Just because they are crying more loudly doesn’t mean that they are hurting more.”

“Him distancing himself that much shows how much he actually cherishes you.”

“And so, more than anyone else... we must be happier.”

An extra note about the OSTs: none of them stood out enough for me to add to my music library, not even Jun-ho’s very own (as much I love his gorgeous voice). However, I can confidently say that they added a haunting effect to many of the scenes and portrayals throughout the show. All the voices and quiet, heart-tugging melodies that meadered its way between the dialogue and echoes, created some intense emotions that probably would’ve been empty otherwise.

noticeable hair-growth & flaws & final wrap up--

One of the things that I really came to notice by the end of this show was that the characters’ hair had grown significantly. I mean, this is a given. Hair grows over time. Duh. But aside from the fact that it’s an obvious naturality. I found to love how it added to the realism in 그 사이. The fact that by the last episode, Jung Yoo-jin’s hair was almost reaching her shoulders, Seo Joo-won’s was creeping towards his neck, Moon-soo grew out her bangs and swept it to the side, and Kang-doo’s covered his eyes a little more than usual, was just a touching sight to take in. Look how human they are! Their hair grew properly, following the time sequence of the series itself. How beautiful is that. It’s such a subtle, minor detail, but to me, it really stood out as an aesthetic touch to its already-brimming-with-reality depiction that 그 사이 establishes.

I could be biased here, but I want to say that 그 사이’s biggest fault was that it used supporting characters like Seo Joo-won and Jung Yoo-jin. Not to say that their roles were completely useless or detrimental to the plot, but more like, their roles were underdone amidst the medley of such a strong leading pair mixed with the other complex, unique supporting figures. Although Jung Yoo-jin thankfully did not play your classic, snooty second female lead vying for the main man, Seo Joo-won very much fell under this category, in his own male-ish sort of way. I honestly did not really appreciate some of his actions and words. I felt like his character was lacking the depth and charm that the rest of the cast hones in on so well. The writers really could have given more to work with, but with such bland lines and cliche intentions, I just couldn’t find myself warming up to him. Aside from parts of Joo-won’s incompleteness as a character, I guess another flaw could be the classic kdrama tropes 그 사이 utilized. As minimal as they were, some were there regardless. The wrist grab, the mid-fall waist catch, the eavesdropping behind a wall, and all of that cliche mush you could find in 1897957 other kdramas, were definitely present in 그 사이. But whatever. It was fucking beautiful anyway.

Finally, I want to address the last part of this clean finale that 그 사이 managed with ease. In particular, it was the montage of the familiar locations that we have gotten to see since the beginning. Externally, it looked plain and a little bit sad and empty. But I feel like these stills offered us so much, because these locations were more than places that our characters frequented, but they are perpetual within their spaces of time. These places, those sort of “places that you can always go back to no matter what happens”. Places of rest, of heart, of everything else that has and could happen. At this point I’m basically just rambling, but my point is that. It was breathtaking.

Also, let us just take some time to appreciate these real Busan visuals.

To anyone that has read this far by now… Wow. Just so you know, you have read through an entire 5-month journey with my thoughts LOL. It is almost May now and my life has been too much of a mess for me to be able to post this within one sitting.

Many days have passed since I last finished this drama and wiped my tears off my face and blew my nose into a soggy tissue and gazed awestruck into the beautiful skyline on my laptop screen. But my feelings remain the same, and this series has held such a special place in my heart. When talking about Korean dramas with friends or acquaintances I try to sound nonchalant about 그 사이. Because, you know, it was just that one show that lowkey changed my life. 그 사이 made me feel things and taught me things and provoked thoughts that no other show ever has in my life. I really could care less about what the general public had to say about 그 사이. I just know, I loved it with all my heart and soul. Thank you for everything, 그 사이.

#그냥 사랑하는 사이 #just between lovers #rain or shine #korean drama #kdrama #review #lee kang doo is my bb 5ever #can they just get married ok #this drama stole a piece of me #love times infinity #i have exhausted all my words #see yall in my next rant (":

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vapormaison · 5 years

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2019 Best Vinyl Pressing 2/4: Sweet Summer Trip by GreyL

GreyL’s “Sweet Summer Trip” reminded me of why I got into hi-fi.

It’s kind of a funny story.

At the risk of sounding ridiculous — the first song that caused me to “seriously” think about hi-fi and physical media on the whole was Good Vibrations by Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch. Absurd, I know. Obscene, even — I’ll grant it!

Give me a hundred or so words to work my way back:

A decade ago, I had the luxury of owning a Jaguar Vanden Plas of mid-nineties vintage as a daily driver while still in University. For the non-car nerds out there, this is the model of British land-based battlecruiser that Queen Elizabeth was carted around in for a couple decades. For its time, it was beyond luxurious, comfortable for both driver and passenger to the extreme — and without a doubt very much an “old man” car. By 2011 — mine was also beyond dated. For the most part, I envied my more bougie classmates riding around in contemporary German imports — in all areas except one. My stereo. This VP must have been owned by an audiophile, because they had splurged for the Harman Kardon system — the top shelf offered by Jaguars of that vintage. I’ll spare you the specs — but believe me that it put the muddy Bang & Olfusens in the Benzes to shame.

Why, you ask, is it so special? The simple answer is pedigree. These systems were produced the same factory to identical specs that Bowers & Wilkins was using for Rolls Royce and Bentley — a $4,000 upgrade for that car in 1995 dollars. As a result, I had an aristocrat’s luxury saloon that could function as a massive, high-fidelity ghetto blaster on wheels. Biggie and I blasted from the same schematics of speakers.

Unfortunately, I was never much of a cassette guy (I’m still not!) — and I never invested in a good tape collection. One tape that came with the car, however — a forgotten glove compartment gift — was Marky Mark’s.

It was, alas, the only good one.

In the midst of those daily drives to campus and back, I found myself positively entranced by the deft mix of bright and poppy rap by Yung Mark and hypnotic euro-pop samples that populated much of the tape. With the windows up and at low-enough speeds, the Jag provided a rich, warm experience that just oozed effortlessly from the Harmans. While I basked in that sound — I wondered why everything sounded so much richer than my mp3s plugged and played into a pair of Beats by Dr. Dre Solos. The warmth, the brightness, — the beautifully constructed mix of primitive drum kits and euro-trance beats shone through with full fidelity and range. I began to appreciate the music for its component parts, as I could make out each part of the mix in detail.

I began to appreciate the little things — those sonic nuances that an artist weaves into their craft to achieve perfection, but are so often ignored by the limitations of format and listening form. All of these were present in Sweet Summer Trip — and this means the world to me.

This is how I became a hi-fi head, however amateur.

Thus, Sweet Summer Trip was nostalgic and powerful for me in so many ways past the incontestable quality of the master. My ears really woke up again on this one when needle hit vinyl — as I’m, with full disclosure, incredibly biased towards GreyL’s sound. The best way I can characterize it as follows: vibrant J-hop and euro-house influences that are infused with an energized, even ebullient future-funk core. That’s without a doubt my bread and butter, and I was all ears. My initial attentiveness was rewarded with a sonic experience that I can only liken to a perfectly cooked Delmonico. A-side, B-side — there was a fully fleshed out and really magnificently treated product here — both creatively and technically. I’ve included some more detailed thoughts on it here:

PART 1: The Music

Nightmagic just feels like the perfect track to start your vapor95-clad Japanese road-trip to. I’d suggest an Abashiri-Yatsushiro circuit — preferably in a DeLorean or Nissan Skyline GTR. Barring that, you can just enjoy five fun, fresh minutes of surprisingly full-bodied 8-bit-sounding samples that coalesce into pure, unadulterated groove in the song’s final half. As if just putting extra icing on this sonic birthday cake, we get a seamless — precision, even — transition into:

da da song — which kicks off with a cacophony of dialing phones and record scratches, succeeds in bringing some much needed bass to the GreyL experience at this stage. With a brilliantly hypnotic vocals and the most creative hype sample of Ludacris I’ve ever heard, we get firmly seat-belted in to our own sweet summer trip, sonically speaking.

stripe absolutely slaps! This is, as far as I’m concerned, the absolute, quintessential “GreyL sound”. I fell in love with this album and GreyL’s oeuvre for their manic genius of micro-sample use, and it is present here in spades. Somehow, someway, GreyL managed to meld Toki Asoko, Sonic the Hedgehog, Lil' John, Daft Punk, and G-Dragon together in one song — and if that seems at first glance discordant or simply “too much” or perhaps even a meme — it’s not. A snippet of One More Time’s chorus powers through a diverse yet structured composition held together by Asoko’s vocals and some flares by G-dragon. Lil Jon finds his way in for good measure, but isn’t leaned on or over-hyped. Most importantly, Sonic goes fast. It’s harmonious and warm and just absolutely brilliant on my speakers — which got their first good exercise in months from the wild range of this song. This is one of those tracks I fully expect to feature on top 20 lists when future funk has gone mainstream and is the subject of clickbait listicles. Stripe is— most succinctly put, a moment.

blue bird answers a question that no one really asked but seems at least topical: how do you follow up your magnum opus on an LP? GreyL replies with a groovy banger that eschews the barrage, or perhaps more kindly put, medley of micro-samples and provides a more straightforward Future Hop mix with a fresh flourish two minutes in giving us a masterfully modified hook. It brings the energy down from the fever pitch of strike in all the best ways.

groovin’ magic hits right back with snappy distorted vocals, an up-tempo and funky electric boogie riff. This is roughly when I began to realize the album arrangement was taking me on a really fun ride, and that groovin’ magic— while a catchy, beautifully mixed track in its own right, is the type of track you use in your DJ set in a supporting role — the type of lead-in to set the stage for an absolute banger to come. As a whimsical set of pops rounded out the penultimate minute, with a slightly heavier drum kit to match — my suspicion was confirmed — and in hindsight I was absolutely correct, because

let me be with you~ (4:20) brings it afresh. It immediately blasts a broadside of funky beats, samples, pops, and sonic flourishes while building into an absolutely euphoric dance groove. It’s an absolute tragedy that this track doesn’t find its way into more dance-funk sets, but I like to think my own amateur work does its share of proselytization. Every future funk physical, in my humble opinion, should have at least once bright, wide-mixed dance-hall banger where you can just drop the needle and vibe. While I enjoy stripe more as a fully realized concept, let me be with you~ is definitely the most vibe-worthy on the record.

期待はしないで puts greyL’s various house and techno influences on display — and was a track I really wanted to love, but am forced only to like. The vinyl master renders the track muddy on the low end. It was an easy enough fix on my system — but folks with a simpler vinyl setup may find this track a bit wanting. I boosted the bass by +4 and re-EQ’d slightly from my left channel. But — this has always been my view — more time spent at a pre-amp’s and equalizer’s control board is less time fully enjoying a track. While something like this normally would remove an album for consideration, I want to express what a testament the rest of the album is. The crisp, professional and downright artisanal work on this album more than justifies what I’d consider a hangup that may or may not be replicated on other systems. Either way, play with the bass a bit and you can still more than enjoy this piece.

fashion starts the side of the LP where things start getting fun and experimental. The piece brings GreyL most adjacent to that Future Hop on this record, but a creative array of micro-samples keeps it firmly in the funk department. Because of the rapidity of the bars, its runtime actually feels much faster than it is — about four minutes.

apple restonaurt’s most apt analogue is “electro-swing for the Amanaguchi listener”. With vocals so heavily modified they almost sound 8-bit and a sample set that seems to dig in from りんごレストラン and T.I., among others. It’s an invigorating and fun dip into that electro-swing sound, and GreyL manages it with ease, as always.

kaze no tani no nausicaa with a title that claims a Miyazaki pedigree, at first seems more at home in one of Yamakan’s works. We get a taste of DMX, what honestly sounds like a micro-sample of T.I. but is probably someone else, and a japanese vocal sample that dances around the mix, seeming to jump to and fro sonically throughout the entire track. A clever bit of mix/master work here, or a happy accident — it sounds fantastic.

ding-dong brings the energy down to a slow burn, and entrances us — perhaps even lulls, with a fire sax loop and atmospherically distorted vocal samples. It definitely ventures into chill wave for its first half, until turning on its afterburners in its second half— ushered in from one of the most subtle uses of Super Smash Bros. I’ve heard to date.

our place closes the album on an ideal note — giving us a final, filling course of funk and micro-sample array. While many closers tend to jack up the pace and vibe a bit too much for my taste, our place keeps it decidedly chill and sounds absolutely sweet on the speakers. A perfect note.

Part 2: Vinyl Listening Experience

I had the pleasure (and obscene fucking expense) of living in Hong Kong in 2018 for a few months. It was primarily for my international ed consultancy day job, but one of my great regrets is not immersing myself in the music scene there. What happens in Hong Kong, and neighboring Shenzen on the mainland (home to vapor/synth label Vill4n IIRC) is the absolute cutting edge of the music industry — and by natural extension, the world. This holds true for future funk.

Hong Kong-based label Neoncity Records has at times released some of the best-pressed vinyls in the game — especially in 2018,— and much to my appreciation — puts them out in reasonable release numbers and multiple batches. Although I’ve found some of their pressings to be a just bit on the clinical side (vinyl should be warm!), I’ve never encountered a physical put out by the label that is mixed and mastered poorly for its format. Vinyl-heads know what this means naturally, but the best way I can explain this for someone getting into the hobby is just to listen to a vinyl rip of My Pet Flamingo’s release of Late Night Deluxe. Everything sounds detached, EQ everywhere, and bass so muddy you can harvest rice from it. Not to harp on it unnecessarily, but it was definitely that label’s growing pain, and they’ve thankfully come a long way since that disastrous 7-inch. See my review of Soul’s Song by Yu-utsu for evidence of that!

But I never have to question a Neoncity release. It arrives, it sounds great, I show it off to my audiophile friends to a succession of nodding heads. That all said, GreyL’s vinyl is just a little bit different than many of its siblings. A little bit better, I’d say.

In a recent, sort-of impromptu apartment-party DJ set, I had the opportunity to play two Neoncity releases side-by-side. I had mixed let me be with you from Sweet Summer Trip with a track from Sailorwave II — another great release by Macross 82-99 and Neoncity. What impressed me most was my stereo’s reactivity to Greyl’s album. Sailorwave sounded good. Sweet Summer Trip slapped! As I mentioned in a previous review, future funk is — a decade after its “inception”, an up-and-coming genre. Even titans like Mikazuki Bigwave and Night Tempo have around 50k twitter followers, compared to the millions of most commercial musicians. The quality of mastering will improve, I think — I hope, as frequent collaborators and labels improve their professionalism in regard to physicals. It’s never a perfect process, of course — but Neoncity is ahead of the game in so many respects. They know what sounds good on vinyl, and you can see constant improvement in the quality of each release.

This is all to say, that from the perspective of pure stereo responsiveness — that bright, sufficiently wide and warm trifecta that you want from your platonic ideal of a vinyl release? It’s here. Sweet Summer Trip has it. Each of Greyl’s tracks (with the slight exception of 待はしないで,) gets some of the best work in on my stereo that i’ve heard this year.

Finally a word on aesthetics. Neoncity has the “beautiful anime cover art” corner on absolute lockdown — and Sweet Summer Trip’s cover is again a standout in this department. Crisp lines, just a hint of glossiness, and saturated hues characterize this cover. Like all great and beautiful things, of course — it feels a bit fragile compared to competitor’s releases — but this might just because of the heavy use this vinyl has seen — it’s always traveling in and out of its home when I’ve got company, and the sleeve is already starting to see some creasing, sadly.

Unfortunately, I can’t really recommend vapor fans go and pick this record up at the moment, as resellers on eBay and Discogs are scalping this at truly obscene prices. I had the luxury of picking mine up on release day — and like most of the buyers, have no desire to resell. That drives up the price, I’m sure.

So Neoncity — when’s the repress?

#bestof2019 #future funk

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gothify1 · 5 years

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It's no secret Glossier is über-talented when it comes to making waves, influencing trends, and setting refreshing diversity precedents within the beauty industry. So it's not surprising that when the cult-loved brand announces a new product launch, people go bananas . Of course, some launches have gone over better than others—Glossier Play is still a controversial topic among beauty editors—and some of the brand's beloved signatures (Milky Jelly Cleanser , Balm Dotcom , Cloud Paint , Generation G ...etc.) will likely never be dethroned from their pedestal. Which brings us to today's major news—the launch of Glossier's newest product called Brow Flick ($18)—the only brow product the brand has debuted since the 2015 arrival of Boy Brow ($16). (Which, if you didn't know, is the brand's #1 selling product and one of the most iconic brow products, well, ever. ) In fact, as the brand stated in a press release, last year, a tube of Boy Brow sold every 32 seconds. To which we say damn . Alas, we digress—back to the task at hand! The exciting and surprising (unless you're a beauty editor who received the exciting news last week) arrival of Brow Flick ($18), a sleek brush-tip detailing pen that's intended to groom and touch up your arches with the perfect amount of pigment and texture. With Brow Flick, it's all about definition, not necessarily color or fluff; the product aims to give Glossier's loyal community the option to add "more brow to their brow" for a full, polished, ultra-natural-looking finish. So what makes Brow Flick ($18) different than the gel, powder, or pencil you already love? For starters, it comes in just three sheer, (surprisingly) versatile shades, Black, Brown, and Blond, which pair beautifully with their corresponding shades of Boy Brow. Second, the formula is water-resistant and creates easy, natural-looking strokes that look significantly less artificial and "drawn" than the results stencils and pencils can yield. You can use the pen anywhere you feel you want or need more definition or depth—be it the tails or arches—and thanks to the malleable, super-fine brush tip, the final aesthetic is designed to look pretty darn seamless. (Spoiler: It does!) Composition- and ingredient-wise, the formula is ophthalmologist tested, dermatologist tested, vegan, dairy-free, soy-free, gluten-free, grain-protein-free, nut-free, and hypoallergenic (woo!), and other notable features include copolymers (for enduring wear), superfine pigments (for detection-free believability), and, of course, the flow-through brush applicator tip (for fine lines, precise application, and a natural finish). For A+ application, the brand suggests starting with clean skin, which will help ensure the formula adheres how it's intended. Then, holding the pen at a downward angle, lightly etch and feather your strokes anywhere you want some improvement. Let the application dry for at least 15 seconds, and then feel free to brush and fluff your hairs up with Boy Brow to enhance your work with a little more hold and definition. Et voila! Brow Flick in a nutshell. Of course, there's the whole issue of whether or not the newest Glossier baby lives up to all the inevitable hype, so I asked a few of my fellow Who What Wear co-workers to weigh in with before-and-after photos coupled with unbiased reviews. Keep scrolling for our honest thoughts! Wearing: Brow Flick in Blond & Boy Brow in Clear. "I'm notoriously anxious when it comes to brow products. Due to how fair my skin and hair is (and how sparse-ish my brows are), it's easy for brow products to go haywire fast. So I generally stick to pencils, which yield more control and precision than goopy gels. Thus, when I heard that Glossier's latest brow launch was a pen—which sounds rather intense—I was concerned. I had scary visions of an application that looked more like a paint job than a natural-looking brow boost. . "That said, as soon as I unpackaged Brow Flick, my stress level dropped; the brush tip is super fine and soft, and as I began stroking it through the sparse areas of my brows, I could barely detect the product—in a good way. (I literally had a Britney Spears moment; like, Is this thing on?). However, despite how subtle the application was, I did notice a slow, steady, user-friendly build in the oomph and precision of my brows. "The job was done in about 30 seconds, and the product was completely undetectable (no telltale trace of pencil left behind!). Brow Flick truly delivers on the "your brows, but better" front, which is my personal vibe when it comes to enhancing my brows. I didn't feel like I needed more pigment, so I simply brushed them into place with the clear Boy Brow formula, but honestly, I probably wouldn't even do that on a daily basis; I generally like to keep my brow M.O. as minimal as possible. "Overall, I'd give Brow Flick five stars and might actually love it just as much as I love Lash Slick, my favorite mascara. However, I do worry the effect won't be dramatic enough for those who love a brow look that packs a lot of punch (although you can always add extra definition with a second coat of Boy Brow), and am also slightly worried the pen might dry out in about two seconds flat. All in all, though, my first impression is stellar, and I'd definitely recommend it for the person who loves a natural and super-low-maintenance brow look." The 12-hours-later update: "I applied Brow Flick at the office around 8 a.m. in the morning and then went to a 6 p.m. spin class where I literally produced buckets of sweat. After the class, my brows looked like they hadn't even been touched and were still perfectly intact! Glossier, you weren't playing when you said the formula was water-resistant!" Wearing: Brow Flick in Brown; Boy Brow in Brown. "This decade's brow trends have been kind to those with thick, straight-across caterpillars like mine (thank goddess the early 2000s are long gone!), and I've been leaning into any product that helps me achieve my Burt-and-Ernie brow aesthetic. My go-to brow products are either gels formulated with fibers and a lot of hold (like boy brow!), which allow me to achieve the full, bushy vibe I like, or super skinny-tipped pencils that let me fill in sparse bits as well as create the look of individual brow hairs. "My first impression of Glossier's (very appropriately named) Brow Flick is very positive—I love how the flexible tip and inky (though light) liquid product allows you to very precisely stroke hair-like lines into the sprout of your brows or fill in the arch/tail. Bumped up and locked in by a coat or two of boy brow, I love the full, feathered effect. My only suspicion of the product is that it deposits pigment so lightly (admittedly great for not overdoing your brows) that I'm afraid the applicator would dry out after five or so uses. Only more experimentation will tell. But for the time being, I'm digging my *brows on flick* (sorry for the pun... had to)." Wearing: Brow Flick in Black & Boy Brow in Black. "Right off the bat, I was impressed by how easy it was to apply. The brush literally flicks on a sheer stroke of color, leaving my brows looking fuller, darker, and more even. Being the novice that I am at all brow products under the sun (save for my beloved Boy Brow, naturally), I applied it all over my brows just to see how it would look. I quickly discovered that the formula doesn't easily smudge off, though, which is great if you apply it where you want, but not so great if you paint outside the lines, which I definitely did a few times. I finished with Bow Brow for a full statement brow moment I'm excited to re-create for my next event. For more of a natural everyday look, though, I'll probably limit the Brow Flick to my arches and finish with the Boy Brow in clear instead." Wearing: Brow Flick in Black & Boy Brow in Black. "Rarely do I wear makeup; most days I roll out of bed and decide to dedicate my morning routine to my curly hair. But I definitely could be down to incorporate Glossier's Brow Flick pencil in when I'm feeling extra spicy. I have to say that Brow Flick was a little lighter in effect versus the Boy Brow, which felt like the type of product you put on to have a bold brow. Overall, both products looked great, but Brow Flick gave off a more natural, non-filled in look, while Boy Brow screams brows on fleek." Wearing: Brow Flick in Brown. "I love the subtle difference the pen makes to my brows. It enhances and shapes my brows without looking like I've actually got brow product on. The pen itself has a light-as-air texture—almost like a brown watercolor." Next Up, My Eyebrows Doubled in Size After Making These 6 Sneaky Changes.

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themovieblogonline · 14 days

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Berlin Review: A Slow-Burn Spy Thriller That Keeps You Guessing

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fluidsf · 5 years

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Fluid Label Focus on Genot Centre 15 Mor Air: Life Behind Glass (2019) Cover by Zdeněk Růžička Catalogue number: GEN036 Reviewed format: advance review copy of digital album on Genot Centre as kindly provided by Genot Centre Welcome to a new review in the Fluid Label Focus series on the Genot Centre label, today I have for you a brand new release, which is the album Life Behind Glass by Canadian artist and DJ Mor Air, who previously released music and mixes on a variety of underground electronic (dance) labels, online radio and various mixes as Spurz. This review is based off the advance pre-announcement review copy press kit I received from Genot Centre, which features: the album cover in 1624x1553p resolution, a press text docx document, the album in 10 16-bit/44.1kHz WAV files with cover too, as well as a folder with artist press photos and a folder with the front and back cover of the release, both again in 1624x1553p. Genot Centre regular graphic designer Zdeněk Růžička has designed some lovely artwork for this release again, combining colourful warm blurry imagery on the front and back cover with mirrored type stating the album artist in elegant calligraphic type, with the album title and other text on the album’s packaging in neat sans serif type. On the inside artwork of the packaging the text is placed in normal format, without mirroring and the artwork is not blurry, instead featuring a funky mixture of beach photography and various abstract shapes, creating an 80’s like colourful summery aesthetic but also with contemporary refinement within its style. The cassette tape itself comes in an oversized norelco case that house both the cassette horizontally and a poetry book by More Air, featuring “interpretations” poems that match the music on the tape. Life Behind Glass is definitely an album that fits the warm, pleasant and relaxed state of feelings in the summer with the 10 tracks over ~ 43 minutes feeling like old-school 80s tinged Ambient vibes as well as mixtures of warm layered ambiences and contemporary styled punchy grooves. While the album was actually created to escape from the hurtful feelings of a recently happened tragedy (as described by Colin Moir (aka Mor Air) in the press text, the album’s warmth, experimental playful sampling techniques that hark back to the 80’s sampler craze and fluidly mixed in field recordings together create an album that in many ways feels like wiping a slate clean, starting with a new better phase of life or simply relaxing in good vibes in the evening or early morning. So let’s get into the music on this album. Life Behind Glass begins with the track We Found A Few More Down Here which sounds a bit like the soundtrack to a journey on a submarine. Combined with the other tracks in the beginning of the first half of the album, Life Behind Glass does start with a bit of a varying set of tracks, in that the style jumps around a bit at first but fortunately stabilises quickly, giving the album a good coherency. In We Found A Few More Down Here you can hear eerie rumbles, delayed samples of a man saying commands taken from what could be a sci-fi film, various samples of water and synth effects as well as male breath samples. Filtered high pitched glassy drones seem to be matched with the water samples at various pitches too. It’s an eerie mysterious start of the album that mixes the submarine resonant drones with some lovely sonic details through mixed techniques that blend the inside and outside ambience of a submarine to create a sonic picture which is both describing the mystery of the dark ocean surround the submarine and the activities and work going on inside the submarine. Quite a bit different in ambience from the rest of the album, but the water sounds do connect this to the rest of the album in that they reference the ocean like sonic signature Mor Air uses a lot on this album. Then on Placate Mor Air balances 90s Braindance styled harmonies with atmospheric Deconstructed Club elements in the form of the rhythmic construction which features a mixture of auto-tuned vocal samples, thumping sub-bass kicks that appear regularly in “build”-like fast patterns, various drum samples and synth effects also add to the equally relaxed as kinetic vibe of the rhythmic layers in the piece. The melodies have a quite constant flow in this piece, not entirely idle, but still flowing forwards in a kind of state of infinite tranquility. The piano chords that appear often in the piece as accents add a nice acoustic element to the piece, though they also do seem to remind the start up sounds of old Macintosh computers, adding to the rhythmic layer as well. This piece definitely showcases the tropical island style of calmly flowing yet also intricately sound designed and inspired compositions Mor Air brings us a lot on Life Behind Glass. Never really abrasive, but also never sinking into just ambience for ambience’ sake. On Face To Face Mor Air blends a melancholic warm synth melody with an organ like drone, glimmering nature field recordings and pitched voice samples as well as flute like resonance effects. In the second half of the track, the music moves into a nicely slowed down UK garage style groove, with bouncy low pitched drums. It’s a great combination of atmospheric elements and some club vibes in this piece and again there are some cool sound design details in the piece, like the stretched textures within the drone, and subtle extra melodic elements. A very nice track again. Then on In Solidarity With Ghosts the lushness continues with another pleasantly flowing combination of synth melodies, melodic synth variations, as well as choppy kick rhythms, similar to Placate but with a more EDM styled click to the kick sound and the staccato melodies match the rhythm of the drums. The poppy flowing warm synth melodies do actually remind me a bit of The Chemical Brothers in their fluctuations and playful warm mellow ambience and the percussion sounds (drum sticks, flanged delayed claps) add a nice trippy vibe to the whole piece. Like I mentioned before, the music on this album really has a kind of relaxed island vibe to it, with the melodies being quite easy going but the tracks also being filled with nice details and wide spaced ambience textures, great music. Two Years then is a much more minimalist hypnotically repetitive piece with glimmering ambiences, sweet trumpet melody samples and tumbling looped piano samples that form the base of the piece. Very rich in textures and warmth and this piece definitely has a very nice uplifting feeling about it. Head Blown Out afterwards moves back to the more consistent mixture of ambiences and often quite bassy grooves, with a piece that has got some awesome samples, deep bass, and a strong old-school Dubstep influence with its deep wobbling bassline, delayed sample stabs manipulated vocal samples and filtered synth effects. The track also reminds me a bit of Wagon Christ’s (Luke Vibert) early albums on Ninja Tune. An intriguing mixture of obscure mysterious melodic elements, nature field recordings and a choppy beat, very nicely driving and deep piece. One of my favourite tracks on this album for sure. Build Me As A Birdhouse is an ecstatic piece filled with warm bright synths, nature recordings, including some seagulls and more high pitched details which builds towards a pretty intense and distorted climax. Nicely pulsating synths in this one, if you listen closely you’ll also notice that yes, there’s also some cool vocal samples in this piece, just like in Head Blown Out. Please Let Me Sing The Good Notes then, is a soundtrack like contemplative piece of music, featuring effected piano, deep spacious sparse panned percussion, bright synth and a train like rumbling percussion rhythm as well. This piece has got quite an 80s vibe to it, with the anvil like resonant percussion sound recalling 80’s Industrial styled textures and the synths having quite clean production to them, albeit it with some funky filter effects to them as well, nice piece again. Ruined Night does continue the 80s sound in a way with an oriental melody, Ethereal female vocals and an intense drum machine rhythm, which also includes drum break samples and nicely a punchy 32nd note kick pattern. The vocals are however also effected in a great way with a panning effect increasing the rate of stereo stutters and decreasing it in waves. The firework sounds are also a great addition to this track which adds some extra cinematic depth to the piece, very nice again, excellent deep atmospheric groove. Final piece First Blush is like the first track a short piece, in this case a Progressive Electronic styled synth ambience backed by a bouncy PWM synth arpeggio and effected dialogue spoken by a woman. Both atmospheric and spacey, this fluid ambience stream is a great ending of this lush album by Mor Air. All in all on Life Behind Glass Mor Air very successfully blends elements from various exciting styles of electronic music into his own personal warm beatscapes and ambiences which are not only rich in soundlplay and layering but are in the end also very hopeful emotive pieces of music that together form a sweet soundtrack like collection of music on this album and of which certain melodic and sonic details might recall some particularly pleasant memories of your own life as well. An excellent album for not only fans of the aforementioned genres but also for people looking for a warm melodic album of electronic music that not only relaxes but inspiring your subconscious in a peaceful state in this late summer. Go check it out. At time of writing this album is still available as limited edition cassette tape including "Interpretations" poetry book by Colin Moir at the Genot Centre Bandcamp: https://genot.bandcamp.com/album/life-behind-glass

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