#THIS IS KIND OF NOTHING because i don't actually know what the elderly can do in their free time. aside from like. everything

[leatherbookmark]

tell us about abt old people chengqing!! :)

anon I am SO SORRY I saw this ask millennia ago and it was late so I was like ah! I'll reply tomorrow AND THEN I DIDN'T

anyway with old people chengqing I imagine a modern au they meet when they're already old. I think I should probably consider whether they'd have their spouses or grandchildren in this one but alas: I can't be arsed. so I'll just say that they meet in something like... hm. maybe it's a library or a culture center. maybe they live in the same neighbourhood and meet during a meeting about, idk, whether to build or not to build a new playground. who knows.

anyway, the thing is: they're similar. wq has never stopped saying what's on her mind, if anything, age has only made her care less about what people might say, because look. she's old. she's a retired doctor. can you prove she didn't assist your mother birthing you? you can't. are you gonna argue with someone who helped haul your ass into this world? no. sit down and shut up AND we're putting the money into the heating fund, flower beds can wait. (her speciality was cardiology and she didn't have That much experience with midwifery, but do people need to know that? also no.)

meanwhile jc learned to give less of a fuck what people, for example wei wuxians*, think about him, and this is also thanks to his age because you're gonna tell an old fart what to do? (at some point wwx told him that "old fart" does not suit such a fancy schmancy man as him. look at him. he's dressed way too neatly for a "fart". venerable flatus, perhaps. you're appropriating old fartery, a-cheng.) he often comes ready to Argue for his case, but then it turns out that either his suggestions are quite reasonable and everyone agrees, OR that wq has already given the people assembled a single Look and they suddenly found it in themselves to agree with her, oh, wholeheartedly.

*although whether wwx is a person or a nuisance sent to this green bitch of an earth specifically to torment jc, well that's a separate argument

so. they are being Shipped.

obviously -- one might say -- being old and bitchy at the same time and place does not mean you would make a good couple. tell that to the youths, though. you try and tell them. you accidentally bark at the kids to quiet down or watch out for their little sibling roughly at the same time and suddenly everyone's like ooh, isn't that cute! they catch you bitching about people who value looks over practicality and want the balconies to be renovated in a way that'll need further renovation in five years, utter idiocy, ONCE, and suddenly everyone's giggling, throwing you Looks, and asking if you've seen the flyers for dancing nights for the elderly.

of course you've seen them! you helped organise the whole thing. s o m e people need that, for interaction or something, and it needs to be done well, simple as that. no, they can't go. they've been there last month, the snacks were alright But this month they cannot. she has a book signing and he goes fishing with a-ling's youngest, you know how it is. maybe you kids should try other hobbies too, since you clearly have nothing else to do!

(the kids in question are like. 40-50.)

but. while it's annoying and bothersome, it's not like wq and jc actually hate each other. in fact, yeah, they like each other quite a lot, at least as much as you can like someone while like... coexisting. but this whole Thing with people making jokes like they were a bunch of schoolkids and not Old People does actually make them entertain, even just in their heads, the possibility of Getting To Know Each Other Better.

and while jc is, actually, interested -- she's a very intelligent, responsible woman, and physically she's quite excellent too -- he does get a bit shy in matters like these, so he just... doesn't really plan on doing anything, since he's quite pleased with how they are already. wq, however, does not like not knowing where she stands, so one day she just comes up to him -- when they're alone, mind you, she doesn't want to make a show for everyone out of this -- and goes, well, would you be interested in taking me dancing? and he. is glad he's put the book away, because his fingers twitch and he'd surely tear the paper. no, he says, i can organize this shit, but i don't like dancing at all. (there's a pause.) but if you were interested in going somewhere together, or getting something to eat...

(she is. and they go, like, right away, because a new cafe opened nearby and she wanted to try it, and then they go for a walk in the park and she tells him about her family, and he tells her about his, and they find another thing they have in common -- being surrounded by reckless fools, and also children -- and by the time a natural pause in their conversation arrives, one that happens because many topics have been exhausted, it's already dinner time, so now they go to a place jc likes... and by the time wgxn notice them it's too late to run away because they're in the middle of the soup, but jc suffers only a little because, see, the soup is good and so is this date, so really,)

[starlvcied]

THINGS THEY DO THAT YOU FIND CUTE (CLASS 1-A) - [PT. 1]

characters ; izuku midoriya, katsuki bakugou, shoto todoroki, eijiro kirishima, denki kaminari, tenya iida, hanta sero, mina ashido, tsuyu asui, ochaco uraraka, kyoka jirou, momo yaoyorozu

g/n reader, no warnings.

✮⋆˙ - izuku midoriya : izuku physically cannot stand still. he has to be moving somehow, but he isn't really aware of this. he tends to have a habit of playing with his hair, whether it's running his fingers through it or twirling his finger around a few strands, you find it being the cutest thing ever. you never point it out though, because you know he would burst into a flustered mess and stop whenever he catches himself doing it. you find it cute, but he would find it so embarassing.

✮⋆˙ - katsuki bakugou : we all know this man is great in the kitchen. so, whenever you catch him cooking a meal for you, (or himself, mostly himself...) all you could do is smile. on one occasion, you were out running errands. you had come across an apron with the lettering "kiss the cook" on it. you picked it up with a smirk, imagined how he'd look in it, but you had figured he would just scold you for it. so, you put it back.

✮⋆˙ - shoto todoroki : he's so chronically offline. whenever you ask to do something trendy with him, he tilts his head at the idea and raises a brow at you. whenever you use any form of slang, he's just as confused. you try to explain, he still doesn't get it. urban dictionary is his best friend. the reason you don't explain this kind of stuff to him is because of that silly, clueless face he makes when he has no idea what you're talking about. it's a foreign language to him, but he tries his hardest to understand you.

✮⋆˙ - eijiro kirishima : kiri loves to manhandle you. tossing you over his shoulder, tackling you, throwing you onto the couch, anything like that leaves you a giggling mess. he knows you love it, too. he enjoys it just as much as you do.

✮⋆˙ - denki kaminari : he is always smiling. that has to be one of your favorite things about him. he has the teethiest smile after he does literally anything, especially when he does things to impress you. he has the most contagious smile you've ever seen. you love to see him smile, and you would do anything to make sure he's always cheesing.

✮⋆˙ - tenya iida : he is so damn respectful. i know we all are aware of this fact already but i want to put emphasis on it. walking down the street, he'd always help an elderly person. walking in/out of a store, of course he'd hold the door for the person behind you. he never forgets his manners. this is your favorite part about him, all you can do is admire.

✮⋆˙ - hanta sero : sero is not afraid to make things for you. you having a bad day? oh, he actually made you guys matching bracelets. he has a bead and string collection because he knows you love jewelry. he's also great at origami, he's always available to give you something. he can definitely crochet. you still sleep with the fat elephant he made you. you think its adorable, and you keep everything he gives you.

✮⋆˙ mina ashido : you love it when she asks to dance with you. she holds her hand out to you with a grin before pulling you into a tight embrace. it doesn't matter what the fuck kind of music is playing, megan thee stallion or lana del rey, you two will be dancing. she asks you so unexpectedly, but you don't complain. there will never be a boring moment with mina.

✮⋆˙ : tsuyu asui : tsu isn't much of a talker, but that definitely changes once she's with you. you guys have occasional yap sessions, some of them pertaining to nothing specific at all, you two just talk just to talk. you wanna gossip? she's all ears. you have something on your mind you think is stupid? she needs to hear it. she always listens to you, even if what you say makes no sense. she's so interested in what you have to say, you never feel like you're talking to a brick wall when you're with her.

✮⋆˙ - ochaco uraraka : karaoke. car karaoke is your guy's personal favorite. only one of your hands on the wheel, all four windows down, music to the max. usually, you would find this embarrassing. but ochaco always seems so happy singing with you. katy perry, wave to earth, laufey, taylor swift, red velvet, any artist of your choice. she loves listening to music with you, often sharing earbuds. but she definitely prefers borderline screaming in the car with you. you secretly admire each other, taking short, (maybe not so short) glances at one another. the way she's enjoying herself makes your heart melt knowing how comfortable she is with you.

✮⋆˙ kyoka jirou : she obviously plays her instruments to you. you love when she shows you snippets on some things she's been working on. the way she's so passionate and absolutely amazing at the thing she enjoys leaves you in a trance. her voice is music to your ears, and a soft smile grazes her lips when she notices how hard you're staring at her. if she could play you songs forever, she definitely would.

✮⋆˙ momo yaoyorozu : like sero, her love language is gift giving. since she's rich, she used to often travel before attending U.A. she has countless souvenirs from a variety of other countries, some you didn't even know existed. she also loves taking you on shopping sprees, she doesn't mind at all. momo does so much for you, and all you can do to return the favor is show her an endless amount of affection. you feel guilty she does all this stuff for you, but she assures you that it's okay and she loves doing this for you and seeing you happy. your heart drops to your knees. (in a good way, of course. <3)

[m-musings]

HELLO, can I request Mihawk, Buggy, and Shanks dating or married to an elderly fem reader (late 40s or early 60s) hc's? Basically, the reader is genuinely so sweet and protective and rocking like she is in her early 20s. Despite her kind nature, the reader is also surprisingly strong-willed. And is also insecure about being too old and tries to convince them to move on and find someone else who is the same age as them. (also she ate a devil fruit that gave her teleportation powers and is a teacher and teaches fencing to young children).

Headcanons: The One Piece Old Men with an Older Fem! S/O

A/N: I fr had no ideas for this so I'm really sorry if it's not exactly what you wanted sdfghjkl

Word Count:698 Warnings: nada, all fluff here

Buggy:

• K so, the first time Buggy meets you is when he happens upon your fencing class during an exploration of your island.

• When you see him approach, you instantly teleport in front you students to try and protect them from whatever he may do.

• Once he realizes that you're also a Devil Fruit user, he's almost instantly enamored with you.

• Initially, it's just because he sees you being useful to him in some way but as he gets to know you more, he grows to genuinely love and respect you.

• After getting together, Buggy revels in the affection you show to him and his crew. He can't recall the last time anyone saw them all as actual people, let alone get to know them like you do.

• He also respects the fact that you don't hesitate to call him out on his bullshit or straight up kick his ass when he needs it.

• And while he might give you crap about teaching sometimes, he still gives you the all the regard you deserve for doing a rather tough job like that.

• When you get insecure about being older, he makes sure to remind you that he is also kind of an "old geezer" and that he'll still love you when you're both as old as the sea itself.

Shanks:

• You met Shanks when he and his crew pulled into port where you were staying, them needing to restock supplies and rest for a while before going off on another adventure.

• He meets you in a small bar where he sees you chatting and laughing merrily with some of the staff as you sip on a fruity drink of some kind.

• With an intrigued smile, he struts over and introduces himself with all the usual charm.

• As you two idly chat for about 15 minutes, you stop mid-sentence when the girl you mentor hurriedly runs into the bar asking for help with something quick.

• You excuse yourself with an apologetic smile before suddenly vanishing from sight, surprising Shanks as he confusedly looks around the room for you.

• A minute or two later, you pop back to your original position and continue on the conversation like nothing happened.

• Impressed at the discovery of your powers, he begins to ask all sorts of questions about it, which eventually leads to a friendship and later, a relationship!

• He loves being with you! Seeing how kind and helpful you are with most anyone you come in contact with is so refreshing for him to see in a world where other people seem to not care about anything but themselves.

• Shanks also admires the friendship you have with the girl you mentor, it reminds him of his relationship with Luffy.

• And when it comes to your age, he couldn't care less! As long as you're a truly good person, he'll love you with all his heart no matter how you perceive yourself.

Mihawk:

• You meet Dracule when he arrives to an island near yours while on a bounty search for the Marines.

• Having been hired alongside him due to your powers and skills with a saber, he is a little hesitant to be around you due to him preferring to work alone.

• But once the job is done and he's spent more time with you, he actually finds himself enjoying your company a lot!

• He likes how headstrong you are and how you aren't afraid to let someone know exactly how you feel.

• And that combined with the fact that you teach a very useful fighting style to the next generation, he's sold on the idea of the two of you being something more than friends rather soon.

• Mihawk also adores just how sweet you can be with those you care about. Whether that's with your students or with him, he's absolutely smitten when you're being your typical, cuddly self.

• There are for sure times when you convince yourself that your age is a problem and that he'd be better off with someone more youthful.

• When you have those doubts, he's right there to assure you that he doesn't mind at all. He's glad to be around you because you're you, older than him or not.

[androgynousblackbox]

OKAY, so I haven't actually finished the book yet so maybe my opinion on this will change, but I honestly feel like the gringo booktubers I watch all have no idea of what to do with Tender Is The Flesh and are fundamentally wrong about it? Like, saw someone trying to say "this book tries to criticize the food we eat rather than the industry", which sounds like absolute fucking bullshit to me because a BIG portion of the fucking book is all about how the industry is treating "the meat" like fucking dogshit and how the characters themselves, the ones who work inside of the industry, are disgusted whenever anyone even attempts to say there is something good about it. There is this constant cognitive dissonance where the characters know what they are doing is inhumane and awful, that they are treating "the meat" horrible, but it's their job, what are they going to do, and at the same time they feel it crosses a line whenever someone call "the meat" human or are even beyond inhumane when someone says the meat "have a good life" because they get treated as studs. Also, like in general, I feel all of them miss the part about this author being argentine and thus how that colors their vision of how the industry works. The biggest industry in all of the argentina, the one that gave us any kind of possibility to survive in this world, was the meat industry, we actually fucking need it because we have nothing else to offer, and yet, all the powerful people who are involved with the meat industry in this work are all foreigners: a japanese man who collects skin of people and threatens his employees with skinning them alive, a gringo, that is literally called gringo, and a german man who is to utterly dettached that has no issue calling "the meat" human and also make inhumane comments about them. At that point is very obvious to me that this isn't about just criticizing an industry, but criticizing a system to whome the industries are merely a reflection of. It's not about the world, it's about a country being so set on their old ways and traditions that are literally willing to eat each other if it means having a foot in the outside world. Because otherwise we have fucking nothing. And this ALREADY fuck us over in the real world. The protagonist is literally the representation of that! He literally asks himself why he keeps working on this shit if it makes him miserable? Because he is the best at it, because he gets paid and he needs the money. CAPITALISM ALL THE WAY DOWN, BABY. Like, the meat food industry is bad, but also think about why they are bad and why the powerful people want it to be bad in the first place. Like, the books says that indigenous, immigrants and other POCs are the first humans to being eaten. The poor and elderly. Why do you all think that is?? Like, I just generally do not understand how you can read that and come out thinking "this person just wants me to be vegan and I don't like that"/"this person doesn't criticize the food industry", like I am a very fucking firm believer that vegans who spend every breath trying to make you vegan are shit and just eat whatever, but even I got that it was meant as something else than that. And how people keep saying that the ending "comes out of nowhere" when it's literally foreshadowed at the beggining at the book while doing the world building? Were you even paying attention at all at that point? Like, I literally saw someone being "I think this book overstimates how much it would take for the world to be okay with cannibalism", like THAT IS NOT THE POINT. The point is not to write "how it's a world where human meat is mandatory", but rather explore the idea in which the way we ALREADY eat each other gets taken to it's extreme. LITERALLY WHAT ALL DISTOPIA FICTION DOES?? Anyway, again, I might change my mind when I finish the work myself, but even by reading the start myself and knowing a bit about the background of this author, I just do not get any of these reviews at all.

[bonny-kookoo]

noooo omg seven days yoongi is such a sweetheart 😭😭 what happened next? did they go out on a date? how is oc introduced to that side of yoongi? omfg daddyyyy 😭😭😭

Went a bit overboard OOPS-

"Hara knows we're meeting up here, by the way." Yoongi tells you as he opens the door to his hotel room, inviting you in. "I thought that might make you feel a bit more at ease." He tells you, helping you out of your jacket after closing the door, catching you a bit off guard- but you let him anyways.

"Uh, yeah, actually it does." You nod, thanking him for both the gesture and the fact that he'd informed your best friend that you're here.

"So, you're about Hara's age, right?" He says as he motions down to a spot for you to sit, food already on the small table where he sits down at as well, on the opposite side. "Means you're younger than me by a good few years." He chuckles, opening some of the takeout containers.

You nod, quietly. You're not sure what to really tell him.

He's probably used to people having the wildest life's, the craziest stories and whatnot- and you don't really have any of that. You live a quiet life, don't go outside much and if you do, you're just a grey mouse, nothing special to see, just another living being existing amongst many others. You're boring.

"Not much of a talker?" He asks, and you shrug.

"Just.. don't have anything to say." You admit almost shamefully, and he shrugs as well, offering you some plastic cutlery you take with a quiet 'thanks' from him. "I just.. kind of, exist. That's it." You try and joke, but he just smiles, nodding to himself.

"And that's a very good thing." He agrees, starting to eat. "Otherwise how would I've met you?" He flirts, and you can't help but have to take in a deep breath.

It's hard not to get affected by a guy flirting with you like this- let alone a celebrity of all people. And he's exactly your type too- he's got this awfully specific aura about him, calm and relaxed and most of all caring.

You've never been taken care of. By no one.

He wants to remind you that you can tell him if he makes you uncomfortable, but he doesn't actually have to- you're an open book with the way you don't mask your body language at all, making him read you pretty clearly just from observing you. "So, tell me a bit about yourself." He offers you a chance to talk, taking a sip from his soda. "Even the boring stuff you think I don't want to know." He smirks at you, catching you in your attempt to tell him exactly that-

That you don't have anything to tell but boring things.

"I uh.. I work, mostly. And when I don't, I walk dogs at my local shelter- because I can't have one in my apartment." You explain. "So I kind of.. substitute." You shrug, and he nods.

"I'm sure they appreciate it." He agrees, and you become a lot more relaxed at that- making him smile to himself as he leans back a bit, watching you.

"There's an elderly labrador mix that- she's been just given to the shelter for no real reason, and has been there for years now because she's old and has black fur and is a bit slow.." You rant, occasionally stopping to eat. "But she's really sweet, and knows a lot of cool tricks. She doesn't even technically need a leash! Though she's become a bit hard of hearing lately.." You ramble on.

"Does your landlord not allow dogs?" He wonders, and you nod.

"No. He doesn't like them- and because I missed one rent in the past, he's kind of constantly searching for a reason to kick me out." You mumble. "So I rather try and stay low, so I can keep living there." You explain.

"I guess sometimes life plays like that." He shrugs, licking his lips. "How about you'd move?" He wonders. You shake your head almost immediately.

"I.. can't afford it, and I'm also a little.. attached to that small apartment." You offer. "I don't like new things, or surprises, or.. just anything I can't predict." Is what you offer as an explanation, and he nods, interested.

"Creature of habit, hm?" He observes, and you nod. "Nothing wrong with that. We find comfort in things we can rely on. I like to re-watch the same movie sometimes, simply because I know it ends well." He says, and your eyes widen at that.

"Me too!" You tell him, and again, he can't help but admire your smile. "I love watching old movies or the same episodes of my favorite shows sometimes, even though I can basically recite the dialog by memory now." You giggle, and he nods.

"Have you ever been in a relationship before?" He wonders, and has to watch how your smile deflates a bit, clearly a touchy topic for you.

"Hmhm." You nod. "But.. I'm not good at relationships." You say.

"How so?" He wonders, and you shrug, poking at your food.

"I'm too clingy." You explain. "But at the same time, I'm too boring." You continue. "I don't like going to parties, or outside in general. I rather stay in, or just.. dunno. Cook together maybe."

"So I guess because you both didn't match, he made you feel like it's your fault to make himself feel better." He simply observes.

"No- I really am too boring, I need to get out of my comfort zone more.." You admit. "I only have Hara as a friend for example. I should have more friends, right?" You wonder, but he shakes his head.

"Not necessarily." he denies. "The less friends you have, the easier to manage. I don't have many friends either." He shrugs. "But.." He starts, hand at his chin as he watches you. "I might be able to help you with getting out of your comfort zone more." He offers.

"I.. how?" You wonder, and the corners of his lips raise.

"How about.. an offer."

[howlingday]

Ok but imagine what would happen if Loid and Perry teamed up? No one could stop them.

Okay... Time for something new...

--------------------------------------------------

AGENT T

A Phineas and Ferb/Spy X Family One-Shot

--------------------------------------------------

"An extended conference overseas?"

"Yes, it's a sort of outreach programs between different countries to share different psychiatric methods." Loid explained to Yor. "I'm sorry this is so last minute. I will try to call you as soon as I get back."

Lying to Yor felt wrong, but it was a necessary evil in his life as a spy. The truth was that he was assisting in a joint operation with a foreign intelligence agency, though the whole thing felt like a bad joke to him. Whoever heard of a spy agency under the title of "The Organization Without a Cool Acronym"? Regardless of his feelings, his mission was clear. He was to rendezvous with the agent known as "The Platypus" and provide backup as required.

"Papa?" Anya, his daughter, pointed to picture in her book. Coincidentally, it was a platypus. "Is this a plassapess?"

"No, it isn't." Loid shook his head. "Just because I'll be gone for a little bit doesn't mean you're allowed to shirk on your studies. I expect nothing less than perfect marks when I return home."

"Aw..." Anya groaned.

"Loid, where is this conference being held?" Yor asked.

"I wasn't given the exact details myself, but it's in a region known as the 'Tri-State Area'."

--------------------------------------------------

"And that's about the gist of the assignment, Agent P." Major Monogram said through the video screen. "Find out what Dr. Doofenshmirtz is up to and put a stop to it!"

"If it's evil, sir." Carl's voice said off-screen.

"Yes, yes, if it's evil, put a stop to it." Major Monogram rolled his eyes. "We're counting on you, Agent P."

Perry the Platypus gave a salute and left the briefing room.

"I thought the evil thing was implied, Carl." Major Monogram grumbled.

"It doesn't hurt to be sure, sir. Words can be confusing."

"Not as confusing as this finger trap." The major lifted his hands to reveal his fingers had been locked in a threaded snare trap for fingers"

"Did you put your fingers in that trap again, sir?"

"Carl, we've been over this; if I don't do it myself, then how will I learn when I need it most?"

--------------------------------------------------

Meanwhile, in the middle of a city in the tri-state area, at an oddly designed building with the logo, Doofenshmirtz Evil Inc.~, Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz heard a knock at his door.

"I'm coming, I'm coming!" He opened the door to an elderly man delivering the mail. He was fragile and hunched over. In his hands was a clipboard and a large parcel behind him. "Oh, look at you! You're so old! Why aren't you retired yet? Here, come inside and rest for a bit. I can show you what you're delivering is being used for."

The elderly man hobbled in, his left leg limping with every step. He mumbled something alike to a thank you before being seated on a large loveseat inside a laboratory. Unknown to the oddly kind-hearted doctor, the old man was actual the legendary Agent Twilight in perfect disguise. In front of him was a massive ray-gun of sorts, like in the cartoons Anya watched, with a scope and a trigger beneath. At the tip of the barrel was a missing component.

"So, you're probably wondering what it is I'm building with a mind-tapping helmet." He held out his hands. "Oh, I'm a little rusty. I usually save these backstories for my nemesis, Perry the Platypus, but here goes." Through Agent Twilight's perfect mental imagery, every word spoken became a clear picture of the very sad and tragic backstory of the target. "You see, back when I was growing up in Gimmelshtump, it's a town in Drusselstein if you didn't know, my grandparents would always say something, but mean something else. Like, they would tell me to wash the ham, but what they really meant was marinate it, but it was one of those old sayings that grandparents use and, me being a child, I didn't know what they really meant because I'd only heard it said once." He ripped open the parcel, was handed the mind-tapping helmet, and held it to the device. "And that's when I came up with this! BEHOLD, THE SAYWHAT'SONYOURMIND-INATOR!" He then climbed his way to the apex of the machine. "With this inator, people will say what's on their mind and mean what they really say! Like, say your friends want to hang out and, I don't know, do old person things, like play cards, but the way they say it makes it sound like they want to sleep all day, so they'll say what's on their mind! Here, let me try it on you!"

Faster than Agent Twilight can react, the nefarious doctor was already on the ground and using his weapon on him. He was then hit with the powerful radio waves the machine emitted. He blinked.

"I don't feel any different." He said aloud. "Did this mad scientist's machine really work-" His eyes widened as the doctor laughed for a moment.

"Hey, who are you calling a mad scientist? I'm not mad. I mean, I'm mad now, but I'm not always mad." He looked to the platypus climbing out of the parcel package. "Perry the Platypus, tell him I'm not always mad." The platypus in the fedora chittered. "See? He gets it." At this, he gasped. "PERRY THE PLATYPUS?! Wait, were you able to hear my backstory while I you were inside the- OOF!"

Perry punched Dr. Doofenshmirtz, sending him stumbling backwards into his machine. The machine fired off in a random direction before being taken into the hands of its creator.

"There's no need to fight me, Perry the Platypus. Why don't you just-" He fired the inator on Perry. "USE YOUR WORDS! AHAHAHAHA~!"

Perry winced at the sudden radio waves bombarding him. He blinked a few times. He was looked at expectantly by his nemesis.

"Chkchkchkchkt."

"Oh, right. You're a platypus." He then pressed a button on his inator and a net flew out and ensnared Perry. "But I planned for that!" A punch flew in from out of nowhere, knocking the doctor over with his inator. Standing not far away was the old man from before. "What are you doing, Old Man?"

"My name," the mask ripped, revealing the spy, "is Agent Twilight, and on behalf of the good people of Westalis, I order you to surrender your weapon."

"Westalis? Where is that? Is he with you, Perry the Platypus?"

"Chkchkchkchkt."

"I won't allow you to threaten the good people of the world with this strange contraption." Agent Twilight said, fully removing his disguise. "Especially while I am assigned to this joint operation."

"Well, I didn't really have anything planned for someone bigger than Perry the Platypus, but I did have this in case he escaped!" With a push of a button, another net of ribbon spewed forth. Unfortunately, the new agent was too fast to be caught and rolled his way over to Agent P, where he easily ripped apart his bindings. "No, no, don't do that! That is so unfair, fighting two against one!" He groaned. "Of all the days for Norm to take one of his 'mandatory vacation days'."

This vacation day in question included going to the mechanic for a semi-spa treatment involving oil, rags, and oily rags. Back to the fight, Agent Twilight kept the doctor on his toes, swinging fist after fist, easily overpowering his opponent. Meanwhile, Agent P was altering the inator by turning the mind-control helmet around so that the machine would reverse its effects.

"I cannot fail here. I cannot allow my emotions to get the better of me. I must keep on my toes. I need to keep applying pressure and overwhelm my opponent with quick, but meaningful strikes."

"Ugh! I regret hitting you with my inator." Dr. Doofenshmirtz groused amidst his thrashings. "Why can't you be more quiet like Perry the Platypus?"

"Chkchkchkchkt." The OWCA agent chittered from atop before swinging the inator around and firing it on himself Agent Twilight. Agent P patted himself down before giving a thumbs up to his fellow agent from afar.

"Oh, finally! I didn't think you would ever stop talking!" Dr. Doofenshmirtz groused even more.

Agent Twilight was about to go in for another punch when he was dragged away by Agent P. Looking back to the inator, he saw that there was a self-destruct device placed at the device's weak point. Jumping over the balcony, Agent P held tight to Agent Twilight, the two silently gliding through the air to a safe location. On the winds, they could hear the defeated shouting of their shared nemesis for the day.

"YOU DON'T NEED AN INATOR TO KNOW THIS, BUT CURSE YOU, STRANGE OLD MAN, AND CURSE YOU, PERRY THE PLATYPUS!"

A GENT P~!.

--------------------------------------------------

"Excuse me, is this your platypus?"

"Huh?" Phineas turned around to see a man standing in their yard, holding Perry in his hands. "Oh, there you are, Perry!"

"I found him wandering around in your front yard, and I thought it was odd to see an animal so far from their home."

"He's not far from his home, he's simply living in a new home away from his natural habitat. We feed him four meals a day, plus treats, and give him as much comfort as possible." Ferb explained in excess.

"Oh, I... see..."

"Yeah, sorry about Ferb." Phineas explained. "He's been a lot more talkative than usual today. It's almost like some kind of radio wave went off and made him say everything that was on his mind."

"That's... quite an imaginative explanation." The man said. "But maybe this will help. I specialize in psychiatric help and this device helps ease those affected by 'radio wave' abnormalities in humans."

"Oh, you mean like brain stimulation therapy?" Phineas asked. "Isn't that controversial?"

"Yes, yes, it is." The man quirked his brow. "But I believe it may be the best way to help your friend."

"Oh, Ferb's not my friend. He's my brother!"

"Ah, excuse me. Now, may I use my device. I promise no harm will come to your brother."

"Well, okay, if you say so." Phineas stepped aside and let the man hold the device up to Ferb before pressing a button. Ferb blinked a few times before the man placed the device in his pocket. "How you feelin', Ferb?"

Ferb gave a thumbs up.

"Hey, it looks like it worked! Thank you, Mr... Huh? Where'd he go?"

--------------------------------------------------

"Papa! You're home~!" Anya cheered, running to the door.

"You're back already?" Yor asked. "I thought you'd be gone a lot longer, considering how far you were traveling."

"I was offered a trip on a much fast return flight than the one prior." Reaching into his doctor's bag, he pulled free a plush doll in the shape of a strange creature with a duck bill, a beaver tail and feet, and a strange greenish-blur fur color. "Anya, I found this on the way home. I remember you being curious about platypus before leaving, so I thought you'd enjoy this."

"Thank you, Papa!"

"Oh, that is so cute~! What are you going to name him?"

Anya thought for a moment, then noticed a certain look in his eyes. It was the same look he held when he was in thought of something. Focusing on him, she heard a name said over and over again.

"Percy the Plassypess?" Anya smiled, tossing her plush in the air. "Yeah! Agent Percy the Plassypess~!"

[ronsenthal]

Part five and final of Jess Reads Fierce Valor as we reached his post WWII military career, his retirement and last years of his life

Notes: Please read the book and take your own conclusions if you can, this is my view and my own clonclusion from my experience reading it

okay now really not much happens, he got married for a second time, stayed in the army, got divorced again

he came to the veterans reunion in 1947 and then never showed up again until some 50 years later

he made his final combat jumps in Korea, he had like 4 which was like a LOT

btw do you guys remember Albert Blithe from the series right? Right! the guy lived after recovering from his wounds and actually served in the 187th Infantry Regiment, guess who was the company commander? thats right! our very own bald man

ok so he worked and had time studied Russian and became the governor os Spandau, at this time there was already some cold war shit going on

speaking of shit, his german was shitty (so is mine!!!) so he couldn't quite undestand the prisioners but played chess with one of them??

Ah yes got married and divorced again

trained and organized some stuff for the the Royal Lao Army and some more army duty??? but nothing interesting is said really

he was then Lieutenant Colonel and worked with the Pentagon, it says that his army duty came to an end in 1964 but his name came up in army records in 1965 at a special division, so he had some function? was he a spy? we will never know for sure

okay now he is retired, married again (the man was a machine), had some health related problems and had to do some heart surgeries, like 5 of them or even more

at this point he was really introspective over his life, then the Ambrose book came and old man was PISSED because guess what??? Ambrose didn't even bothered to actual fact check his book and Speirs felt that he did dirty to his first ex-wife and even to himself

Dick became his biggest advocate and tried so many times to reunited him to the last members of Easy but he couldn't, he even begged Speirs but remember he is a Taurus so he said no again and again

toward his late years and after the release of the book he was afraid some n30-naz1s would come after him for some kind of vengeance so he asked for his name adress and personal info to be removed so Dick was the only one who knew hot to contact him

then there was the reunion for the screening of Band of Brothers and he finally showed up after his last wife made him show up and it was really emotional, Matthew Settle just watched the real Speirs and Dick watching the first ep and then Matthew showed up on his door and asked him to sing his cast, cause he got hurt his feet somehow

oh right forgot to mention that he loved his poodles, he was really into square dance (I don't know what the hell this is don't ask me), had some weird hobbies like pan for gold on rivers??? also normal ones like playing golf and he was also a nice elderly to his grand-sons and great-grand-sons, nephews, nieces and stuff

he had really bad PTSD specially while sleeping ans even after being retired he couldn't relax while sleeping and always eat his food fast.

he wouldn't let people kill spiders, like black widow spiders because of the William Wallace story and because he served in a company that the symbol and nickname was one

also he didn't talked about his army life like AT ALL, he said it was harder for him to remember things since he spent great part of his life om the army while the other guys served like with one company and that was it, for me it's clear it was bullshit he was so hard on himself and self critical on the basic stuff he didn't so one can only imagine how he dealt with the heavy stuff

his final years he was losing his strength, already loss great part of his hearing and was so ashamed of it and was really frustrated and miserable

after his death this one person of his family took his ashes and spread somewhere in a beautiful lake near the Canadian border where he rests today, quite emotional really

Okay so overall this was such a great reading, it's really a testament to how complex, mysterious and sometimes twisted his character really was.

I loved how the authors didn't pushed any agenda or narratives, I feel like they did a good job because they didn't tried to justify any of his actions, they just wanted to bring as many facts to the table as they could so we, as readers, could come up with our own conclusions

Mine is: He was crazy indeed, he did some questionable stuff and it took it's toll on him during and after the war, but also really cared for the man on his side, he sure could be cruel, flawed, cold blooded, impetuous and a true killer, but at the same time protective, respectful, really smart and incredible skilled as a leader, so much that everyone respected him for it, some loved the man dearly, some despised and that it was what truly amazed me by

A big thank you to everyone who followed my dumb takes during this reading, it was really fun to do!!!

taglist: @mads-weasley, @mutantmanifesto, @love--persevering, @gorgeousundertow, @grumpy-liebgott, @wexhappyxfew, @latibvles, @1waveshortofashipwreck and @executethyself35

[qqueenofhades]

One of the most surprising things I learned recently is that Bernie doesn’t do well with Black voters, and I was wondering if you knew why that is? I feel like his platform is fairly popular so I just wonder why he fails to win their votes?

It's because Black Democrats a) like actual Democrats, and b) also don't have time to waste with empty moral posturing when they are intimately aware of how public policy and progressive (or reactive/reactionary) politics affect their everyday life, in a way that a lot of privileged white Bernie Bros were utterly unequipped to consider (and indeed, attacked the Black Democrats for "not knowing what's best for them," which is not paternalistic or racist at all!) Black Democrats also know how important voting is, because of the obvious fact that they were disenfranchised, had their political accomplishments totally dismantled at the end of Reconstruction, had to literally fight through dogs, gas, guns, and screaming white supremacists to exercise their vote and win their civil rights in the 1960s, and are consistently targeted today by white Republicans attempting to gerrymander, restrict, penalize, or otherwise eradicate their rights. Black Democrats don't vote for empty performative politics, they vote for results. Bernie is great at one, and very bad at the other. Three guesses which.

Elderly Black Democrats in South Carolina allegedly "saved" Biden's 2020 campaign (after Bernie had done well in the EXTREMELY white Iowa and New Hampshire primaries; the ordering of the primaries and the excessive prognostications attached to Uber White Midwestern/New England Results is dumb, but anyway). And that was because Black Democrats have good reason to like Biden. He spent eight years willingly supporting and never upstaging the first Black president, he picked the first Black/Asian woman as his vice president, he put the first Black woman on SCOTUS, he has spent years championing their concerns at an actual tangible and legislative level, and they know that they can trust him. By contrast, Bernie is one of those leftists who dismisses all other kinds of oppression as secondary to the class struggle and thinks that racism, sexism, misogyny, etc. are all inferior injustices to economic injustice. And yes! Economic injustice is very much a thing! But if you go around telling marginalized communities to their faces that their many, many years of lived experience with racial oppression isn't as "real" as economic injustice, and/or that racism will magically be solved by economic redress and you don't need to do anything else about it, don't be surprised when that is not a winning message.

Besides, and as noted: Bernie has spent fifty years in politics and achieved nothing really meaningful (unlike Biden, who has also been in politics for fifty years and has real and significant legislative accomplishments as senator, vice president, and president). His policies are on-paper progressive, but Black Democrats and Black people in general aren't a monolithically progressive voting bloc, and have other concerns and issues that intersect with their support (or lack thereof) for him. There are very few Black people who can afford to take their vote for granted, or to vote for somebody who hasn't demonstrated any interest in going through the legislative process to achieve real results, and instead spends most of his time talking loudly to left-leaning white progressives and cultivating a "Only I, Great Bernie, Can Solve Your Problems" political mentality, which then spills into sore loserdom and was an issue in both 2008 and (most visibly and unforgivably) in 2016.

Basically, in my view, Bernie mostly exists to be the totem for a certain subset of privileged white leftists to club the Democratic Party over the head and set impossible standards of what they "should" be doing, which in turn actively undermines support for the Democrats and helps nakedly fascist Republicans win more elections. And despite nominally running as a Democrat, he in fact is not a Democrat (he sits as an independent) and makes no effort to court central Democratic constituencies. Of which, and obviously, African-Americans are one of the greatest parts, due to consistently voting to get this country out of the mess that fascist white people keep trying to plunge it into. Any candidate who does not understand that, and does not make serious efforts to do so, likewise should not be taken seriously. Therefore, no matter how mad it makes his frothing internet stans (who likewise are not serious people with actual political opinions), the Democratic party apparatus has no real need to humor him and his self-aggrandizing constant talking about things that he never, ever actually does shit about.

[cat-astro-pick]

𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑻𝒆𝒓𝒓𝒊𝒃𝒍𝒆 𝑾𝒐𝒓𝒅, 𝑳𝒐𝒗𝒆

𝑀𝑎𝑖𝑛 𝐶ℎ𝑎𝑟𝑎𝑐𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑠, 𝐸𝑧𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑙 𝑥 𝐹𝑒𝑚! 𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑒𝑟

There are all kinds of people in the world. If I could pick and choose people like the flavoured jellybeans in Harry Potter, I would. Contrary to what an elderly first-rate novelist once told me, my youth was not beautiful. There was no youth. And so, with a cigarette that tasted the bitterness of the world on my tongue instead of the sweetness of the jelly, I made my way to the basement. The stiff iron door wouldn't open with my hands, so I pressed my body against it and let the familiar music I'd heard so many times before blare through my ears and earbuds. With the door open, the next thing I did was put out my cigarette. I knew that if I didn't put out the cigarette, Sett or Kayn would argue.

If someone asked me if a flower garden that is neither fresh nor fragrant exists, I would say yes, of course it does. Because that barren, miserable flower garden was right here. If someone can passion were a flower, even these would be flowers. But as it turns out, passion doesn't bloom like a flower unless it's lucky. I hated the fact that I had a few stupid friends who were full of enthusiasm, full of things to do, but who couldn't shine, who were playing electronic instruments.

Actually, I didn't hate that fact; I hated myself for taking comfort in it, for seeing them as water. Their misfortune had become my good fortune. I leaned back on the couch, the worn leather sagging, yellow sponges protruding in spots. The floor was gleaming and shiny from daily oil mopping. When the soles of my shoes touched the floor and made an unpleasant squeak that sounded like a toddler's shoe, Yone stopped drumming and looked at me.

"What are you looking at?"

It was …suck. But it wasn't my feelings for Yone, it was my feelings for me. Yone raised an eyebrow at the harsh words that came out of my mouth. Yone reacted as if she was used to such harsh words. It wasn't just for Sett or Kayn's words. Nothing that came out of my mouth was what the Heartsteel members would consider soft and gentle. Maybe it's better to admit it, the words that came out of my mouth didn't go through my brain. It's only now, years later, that those around me have come to the conclusion that "she doesn't think when she speaks," but there was more going on in between. I hated being rough. So I'm always the one who loses when I play nice. I didn't want to lose, so I became more aggressive.

"...Where's Ez?"

"He's in there."

Yone's tone was gentle. Even those thin, fine fingers pointing across the room. Someone had said. People who have been through all kinds of winds and trials have rather rounded personalities. Friction and grinding make them more rounded. Yone might be one of those people, too. A gentle nature. It was an ideal I had been striving for all along, but I couldn't hope for it, it was too much of an…ideal.

"...Thank you."

I just wanted to mimic them, to think about what they would say in a situation like this. I always have a hard time saying thank you, I don't even have the strength to think of good words, so I just bowed my head to show my gratitude. I was so envious and jealous of people with such docile personalities. I didn't know if someone had put drugs in my cigarette filter or if I had finally lost my mind that day.

Even on a freezing cold day, Ezreal's voice was warm. As far as I can remember, Ezreal was always that way. He was playful, liked to flirt with girls, and was sensitive to other people's feelings. Timid, or worse, nerdy. I didn't think anything of him then. Well, I certainly didn't think anything of him now, too.

"Ez."

Even when I didn't speak loudly, Ezreal always heard me. I attributed it to his thin, light ears. To be honest, I projected myself onto him as I watched him hit the big time and then crash. Actually, I crashed before I could achieve anything called success. After my edpair, he was more aware of my moods than anyone else. It was the first time I cried in front of others, which I had always thought of as having a proud and stoic personality. Staying friends with Ezreal wasn't just because I liked him. It was because I don't trust people. Because if I turned my back on this stupid kid, he might unlock my past, and I'd be a stupid idiot again. Ezreal's soft-spoken nature was a disadvantage.

"You're early, aren't you?"

I hated his flirtatious smirk, the way his handsome face. Even the way he seemed to know he was handsome. I reached out and tugged futilely at a strand of green hair.

"Ack! What's wrong?"

"Nice job dyeing your hair. It's pretty."

"Really?"

Ezreal was always silly. Even now, when he sees me doing something rude like tugging on his hair, he smiles innocently at a compliment. His attitude made me feel like a stack of books was pressing against my heart behind my laughter. I couldn't tell what it was. It seemed to be something like guilt. My throbbing heart hurt more than my throbbing head. The heart reacts honestly. My head analyses my emotions coldly, but my heart beats faster. So, if we're being really honest, I am afraid of Ezreal's, my one and only friend's success.

I was afraid being pathetic of myself, and I was afraid of him. I was unhappy with my life, with a trashy personality that saw my friends' successes as my own misfortune, and I was unhappy with the fact that I would never show it. I didn't feel like a real friend, and that's why I was afraid of Kayn, and that's why I was afraid of Yone. I was afraid of Sett, I was afraid of K'sante, I was afraid of Aphelios. I was afraid of them all. It seemed that knowing that my feelings for Ezreal were not love, not friendship, but a crude mixture of envy and jealousy, would naturally tear me apart.

"So, Ez."

"When's your debut?"

In times like these, it's good to cover your mind with words.

"Next week? Since I'm so busy, I feel like I can get something done."

"My heart is beating really fast, touch it."

I was disgusted by the heat I felt between my hands, by the passion that radiated through his thin T-shirt as I held it to his heart. In hindsight, that feeling of disgust was not a disparagement of his passion; it was a disgust at my fear of it.

"...It's real."

"You must really like singing."

That doesn't mean I was faking my love of music. If anyone told me that my failure was simply due to a lack of passion for singing, I was prepared to smash them over the head with a porcelain water bottle.

"...Well...I envy you."

I whispered it without thinking. At this point, I might as well have been a shaman, foretelling Ezreal's success. Ezreal laughed softly. But what I noticed more than the laugh was the awkwardly lowered eyebrow and the sympathetic twinkle in his eye.

"I want you to see my show from the front row."

"You're my bestie, right?"

I nodded. I knew it was lip service. Friends, I didn't know if our relationship could really be defined as friends. Though if you truly consider me a friend, I would consider you a friend. Ezreal was social butterfly. He had a lot of good connections, and in those connections there would be people whose tastes overlapped with his own. In the midst of that wide, wide circle of relationships, he found me, the most insignificant of them all.

"Sure. Who else is going to put up with all your stupid behaviour?"

I reached out. Ezreal's hair was soft between my thin fingers. It felt puppyishly soft, and I wanted to tickle his chin, to touch him, to hold him, and that stupid feeling tickled my chest, swelling and bursting. It felt like I was darting a dart through my swollen heart like an advertising balloon. A shiver ran down my spine, from my heart to my shoulders and down to my lower abdomen. It was an irritatingly awkward feeling.

"...Ez."

"Huh?"

"...nothing."

How can I love you when you're so stupid?

[jabbage]

What are the top 5 most middle class things that have ever happened to you?

Ooooooh good question... now I'm going to do the most British thing ever and preface it with a short essay providing half my life story, out of a sense of denial.

Both sides of my family are staunchly working class, as far back as I can find records. They were farm labourers and dock workers and hopped in and out of workhouses. My mum worked housekeeping and cleaning jobs, and my Dad managed to snag a white collar job in a factory out of school (because he's really clever).

But then two complications -

My Dad became a clergyman. This meant that we got to live in nice houses owned by the church he worked for, sometimes in quite affluent areas. We didn't have much money, but still.

2. I managed to get into Oxford University with a gazillion bursaries tied to my parent's low income. I then used the bursary money to fund doing a master's degree, and now I work in academia.

So, am I middle class? I'm begrudgingly realising that I might be? Except if I am I feel like middle class people shouldn't be constantly worrying that their now-retired parents can't afford to switch the heating on, or whether they'll ever live in their own home. And it's alienated me from my extended family, who have jumped to the conclusion that I think I'm better than them.

Anyway, the top 5 most middle class things that have ever happened to me.

One

Last year I got invited to an anniversary meal at my Oxford college, called a gaudy. I nearly didn't go because my time at uni was not very happy and I don't remember some of my contemporaries fondly, but then I figured that if I go, next time I read Dorthy L Sayers excellent book "Gaudy Night," I will have better brain-pictures. So, the setting, for your own brain-pictures:

Latin grace was sung before the meal, which comprised of salmon confit, followed by venison, followed by black forest gateau, followed by fruit and chocolates and port.

I was sat next to a nice middle aged man with an OBE. When he asked me "So, what do you do?" I decided not to say the job which *actually* pays my bills, but to reply with my evening job: that I make comics. I felt like this was a fun thing to say in a room full of people who Work In The City etc etc.

Except it turned out that he runs one of the UK's biggest comic arts festivals. He offered me free tickets. He offered to put me in touch with publishers. He offered to introduce me to significant people.

And I was like.... oh. Is this how it happens? Like, you're in an Oxford college and you just RUN INTO a posh bloke who Knows People and that's how you finally get a book deal???

Anyway I went to the festival. They had a panel on a yacht. And talked to people, or rather had people talk over me. So many times they'd ask me a question, and then interrupt before I'd given my answer. And I dislike schmoozing SO MUCH.

So uh, yeah, no book deal ;D YET

Two

One time I was wearing my college scarf while I was walking around Durham, and I ended up meeting a very cute elderly couple who went to the same college forty-five years earlier (well, the husband did, the wife wouldn't have been allowed.) They invited my to a dinner party at their house, which turned out to be a very cute little town-house by the river with five stories.

At the time I was doing my Master's degree, and they became kind of surrogate parents who I could call in on for a free hot meal and good conversation. But it was entirely sparked by "going to the same college at Oxford" which is very ew.

Three

Idk there was just this one time I was coming home on the train from having seen the Royal Shakespeare Company's latest production of Much Ado About Nothing and I stopped off somewhere to get sushi and I spent the whole time staring at a wall thinking "What have I become?"

Getting tickets to the ballet from a colleague slots into this catagory, I think.

Four

One time I was asked to open a village fete because the local lady of the manor couldn't make it.

Why me? Apparently "local clergyman's daughter" and "went to Oxford" and "draws silly pictures sometimes" was enough to make me a local celebrity.

I got to give a little speech and judge some cakes and everything.

Five

One time I got invited to a dinner party at CS Lewis' house, the Kilns, and I met his lovely secretary Walter Hooper. I remember being shown around and having a deep impulse to check the backs of all the wardrobes.

When I first went in it was through a door that led straight into his bedroom, and I was told that I could take my coat off and just toss it on the bed. No sooner had I done so than my guide mused, "CS Lewis died in that bed."

So I guess I own a coat that has been on the bed where CS Lewis died, is that middle class?!! Idk

[doevademe]

Nico remaining a catholic while being the son of the lord of hell (and the greek equivalent of Paradise) is just the epitome of irony for me.

That's why I propose the following prompt:

Some random homophobic: y'all are going to hell for your sin!

Percy and Nico share a look before bursting out laughing.

Percy: Been there, done that, bud. A little dark but welcoming when you know the owner of the place.

Nico: Actually got a room for me in a palace there, can't say the same for you tho.

"Why are we here again?" Percy asked as he squirmed uncomfortably. The church parishioners seemed to all be looking at them.

"Because it's my mother's death anniversary," he reminded him. "And for some reason, you decided to accompany me to mass instead of staying home."

"I wanted to support you, Ni," he said. It was the first time he could do something as Nico's boyfriend and not just as his friend. "I just didn't know this was an hour-long thing."

Behind them, an elderly lady shushed them. Nico turned and apologized in a hush.

The rest of the mass went by. Nico distressingly left him to have some white, thin food put in his mouth and come back to kneel. Percy couldn't say he understood, but he imitated Nico as well as he could.

He could see a man in his forties looking at them suspiciously.

Eventually, the priest named Nico's mother when talking about praying for the departed, and soon after the mass was over. Nico took his hand and led him out.

"I think mamma went to heaven," he said softly. "That's why I could never summon her."

Percy looked at him. So that was why he attended mass for her and not Bianca. Nico knew where his sister had gone after death, but Maria di Angelo was another story.

"It was a nice ceremony," he whispered, not knowing what else to say. "I didn't understand half of it, but it was beautiful."

Nico smiled and squeezed his hand.

"That couldn't have been easy for you. Staying still all that time and not understanding why people did things," Nico told him once they were outside. "But thanks for being respectful and... for being there for me."

Percy smiled and kissed him on the cheek.

"If it's important to you, of course I'll be there," he said. "So, that white wafer—"

"I knew it," someone said behind them. They both turned to see the same man that had been glaring at Percy during mass. "Don't you know your kind is not welcome here?"

Percy paled. Had he done something wrong? Was he embarrassing Nico in some way?

"What do you mean our kind?" Nico asked venomously.

"Perverts," he clarified, looking at them in distaste. "People like you shouldn't desecrate the house of our Lord."

Percy blinked.

Oh, so he hadn't done anything wrong during the mass. The guy was just a homophobe.

He let out a sigh of relief.

"I thought Jesus invited everyone to come to him, even sinners," Nico answered with a raised eyebrow.

"If they repent," the man said. "Only hell awaits those like you."

And Nico turned to look at him, raising an eyebrow. Percy stared back.

They both laughed.

"S-sorry dude, but I know for a fact that I won't go there," he said as the man turned redder and redder from anger. "The guy in charge kind of likes me. I have my own room in a palace waiting for me."

"That's sacrilege!"

Percy shrugged.

"I mean, down there is a little cold and drafty, but it's not as bad, and the dead don't feel the cold," Percy added. "If anything, I can say it's not the worst thing that could happen."

"You, though? I doubt you might get more than oblivion," Nico continued. "You're not God's brave defender. You're barely God's anything."

"You—"

"You're worth nothing, and you'll die alone and bitter," Nico said in his son of Hades voice. The man turned white as a sheet. "We're leaving, Percy."

The man stayed quiet as Nico walked ahead of Percy, their hands still linked, until they reached a Starbucks.

"Order anything you like," he said. "My treat, as thanks for going with me."

They didn't talk about that man, and Percy realized it was because he mattered so little to Nico.

"Why go to mass, if you know you're going to the Greek Underworld?" He asked once they were seated. Nico smiled sheepishly.

"It makes me feel closer to my mother," Nico admitted. "I feel like she's with me then."

Percy smiled and kissed his boyfriend, not caring who saw.

"I'm sure she is, Nico."

[cordeliaflyte]

MY DREAM. so I found out my brother was part of this um. Secret magazine whose editing body was located in a building which defied all usual laws of logic, was sentient, and filled with soooo many objects that would appear spontaneously. Ranging from plastic dinosaurs 🦖 🦕 to living stray cats. I found out because occasionally someone would stumble into the building thinking it was a museum and ask for a tour and all the employees would pretend it was just a very odd museum and give the tour. And I stumbled in and I was one of them and I realised something was off because it didn't make sense for a museum to be Like That and the rooms kept growing, shrinking, and disappearing. And then I saw my brother and I was like 🤨 bro fess up. So he told me all about the secret magazine edited and written in this secret building and how it wasn't traditionally sold, but would fly and find people at the right time of their lives. And I was like that sounds sick I want to write/edit for it. I need things for my CV. And he was like ummmm don't be mad but I've actually been stealing your super secret poems and publishing them anonymously in the magazine. I was a bit mad because all these people who were not me were profiting off of my work. because the house found ways of paying its inhabitants/employees. But he was like I'll hire you you can stay. It turned out that EVERYBODY loved my anonymously published poems though they didn't have enough in common for them to realise they were all written by the same person. But people were proper fans. Like they'd have tote bags with the poems written on them and t-shirts and other merch and I'd be like hey!! That's mine!! During my time in the house, I discovered you could manipulate it into adding new rooms you wanted, and not just let it follow its own whims. So I designed some bedrooms (before, if people stayed there overnight, they'd just sleep on the floor and wake up in back pain). Everyone was like "omgggg how did you do that" and I was like "it's not like shaping the fabric of the world around you is hard...." One day I got my payment, kind of: a woman materialised in the building with a kind of pathetic looking cat. And she was like I'm from a pet adoption agency and no-one wants to adopt this cat idk why :( but I've been sent here to give it to you :3 but her tone of voice was very suspicious so I was like there's something you're not telling me... And she was like that's true. So the cat was living with an elderly couple who both died in their sleep. And the cat, having nothing to eat, ate them. It was discovered after months and now no-one wants to adopt it. I was like that's so weird why would no-one want to adopt this kitty it's not its fault... And she was like but it got used to its diet and now it's exclusively a cannibal cat and no-one wants to feed it in accordance with its diet. and i was like you mean this cat still eats human flesh? i can feed it human flesh idc. and she was like no actually it only eats other cats. And this was more troubling to me but I was like. Surely it's a sad fact but many cats die anyway every day and I can find those and feed them to my new cat. So I adopted it. It got used to eating humans alright it KEPT biting me. Not in a painful way, but still - it would latch on with its entire jaw and refuse to let go. But it was how it showed affection and checked if I was still alive as it had anxiety about its owners dying so i tolerated it and showered the cat with love and affection. Even though it tried to bite my fingers off. Also at some point I had a conversation with my brother where I was like bro what is this place sentient magazine building thing. You do stem this isn't like you. Does your girlfriend know about this. And he sighed dramatically and said his girlfriend doesn't know about this, and she also doesn't know that he's secretly in love with a 40 year-old divorce with kids who was in prison for domestic abuse. And I was like ???? And he was like. I could fix them. I wont because I'm loyal to my girlfriend though. And I was like. ???

[acourtofthought]

Hi! I’ve been thinking about possible Elucien plots. Do you think now that Briallyn is gone, Koschei might somehow contact Elain with false promises to turn her back into a human if she hands over the Dread Trove so he can free himself? Briallyn did say there are others in the NC that can help her + in one scene Cassian notes Elain’s tight expression when she says she has to go help an elderly Fae with her garden in the morning.

I think it would be interesting if SJM takes that route. The possibilities with Elain’s character are endless because of how underdeveloped she is plus all the hints that she’s hiding who she is and wants to be to avoid upsetting others/disappointing her sisters if she says or does something they don’t like. I actually wouldn’t mind a trilogy just for her + Lucien… I know it won’t happen, so I’m hoping their book is at least 800-900 pages.

I always took Cassian noting that as one of two things. There are hints that Elain may be an owl shifter so it's possible that as the evening drew late, she felt compelled to shift and just make up the excuse she need to be up early. Or..... "Azriel had needed to stay by the door the whole time because he couldn't stand the sight of it, the scent of their mating bond, and needed to have the option of leaving if it became too much. Elain's large brown eyes flickered, well aware of that. Just as he knew she was well aware of why Azriel so rarely came to family dinners these days." The particular dinner you're referencing is one Azriel was in attendance for. Elain is perceptive and if she knew that Azriel was uncomfortable around her and usually avoided dinners because of it, then she may have made up an excuse to leave the dinner table earlier than the others because of it. If I knew someone was uncomfortable in my presence and it prevented them from spending time with their friends (especially because her sister was getting ready to leave the table which may have been one of the only reasons she stayed in the first place), I'd probably excuse myself too. Truthfully, I'd be surprised if Elain wanted to be human at this point. I don't think she's fully healed from everything that happened but she has made progress and I don't think a big part of her story would revolve around her going backwards especially when there's nothing left for her to go back to. Her father was killed, Graysen fully rejected her and I don't think she'd have hope he'd reconsider, and she now has a nephew in her life. I don't think she's completely happy in the Night Court but I do think she's found enough to want to keep her immortality. Elain sort of grows where she's planted and while I think she's going to learn to fight for more in her book, I don't think she'd do a complete 180 and decide she's so miserable with her current life, she'd align with someone canonically evil that she knows kidnapped other females just to get what she wants. That sort of goes against Elain trying to make the best of every situation which we've seen evidence of. I think she is sort of happy right now but could end up being really happy when she finds the place she's meant to be but I don't think she'd be the kind of character who would be destructive in her efforts to get there. As far as Elucien plots, there are pretty major hints that Elain and Lucien will play large roles in getting Spring back on it's feet as well as their visiting the continent where Koschei is and finding where he keeps his soul. We know Vassa's freedom is coming to an end and since they're both connected to her, it lines up. Not to mention they both have undiscovered powers (I think she's a healer of some sort) and Lucien will have the Helion reveal. Maybe SJM does have something else in store for them, those are just the things I picked up on throughout the series.

[sevenmoonstory]

[ENG TRANS] GNJB 10C Takato x Ryota Special Interview

Unforgettable meeting of the two that leaves a deep impression ―First, please tell us about the first time you met! Ryota: I remember it vividly. Our first meeting was quite shocking. It started when Takato came late to the EBIDAN shooting (lol). Then, when I was playing a game on my phone, Takato suddenly came over and said, 'You have this character~?’ and then he took my phone and started playing the game. I was like, 'There are people like this?' It was quite shocking. Takato: I remember it clearly too, but there was a reason for me being late. First, it was my first time going to a shooting location alone, without my parents. I was in the first year of middle school, so I wasn't used to using a smartphone, and I didn't know how to read the map... Even though the location was only about a 10 minute walk from the station. I actually arrived at the nearest station 10 minutes before the appointed time! But then from there, I got lost for over 30 minutes... Ryota: You got too lost! (lol) Takato: So it's not like I intended to be late! I just want to make that clear (lol). My first impression about Ryota was, ‘There is a cute little kid here’ Ryota: I was going through a growth spurt then. I was about 140 cm tall.

―So, did playing the same game together lead to you becoming friends? Takato: No, not really... (lol) Ryota: Actually, it kind of made us distant for a while (lol). Takato: That's how it's always been with me and Ryota. When we first met, we were distant, then we became friends while hanging out with other EBIDAN trainees. But then there were also times when we weren't doing the same activities, so we grew apart. Then we ended up in the same group again, and became friends again. And now, we are distant again. Right? Ryota: Why is that?! Make it that we're closer than ever for now! (lol) Takato: We've been breaking up and getting back together… over and over again like that. But, at the end of the day, I feel reassured when we're together Ryota: That’s right. We've developed the aura of an elderly couple now (lol)

Unchanging relationship even after knowing each other for so long ―After being together for so long, have your impressions of each other changed? Ryota: There are some that have changed and some that haven't changed Takato: Which part of me has changed? First of all, I don’t come late anymore, right? (lol) Ryota: That's right! (lol). That’s why, I think he's become professional. We've been together since we were little, so it felt like we were just friends. But he's the one who leads in MCs and stuff. He is a friend to me, but he's also become someone I can rely on. But in a good way, even as we get older, I’m happy that our relationship remains the same. Takato: For me, I still think that 'He's a cute little kid’ (lol) Ryota: Nothing changed then! (lol). Is there really nothing about me that has improved? Takato: One thing that's changed recently is that Ryota can now say what he’s thinking, I guess? He is stubborn, sometimes I feel like he’s a pain in the ass (lol). But even though I see the annoying parts of him, maybe I don't come to hate him because we've known each other for so long. Ryota: Because we're like an elderly couple now (lol). Somehow among the members, he’s the most 'unvarnished’. There are various kinds of members in Genjibu, but he’s the one I can talk to with the most honesty. I can discuss things with him without holding back.

The desire to try challenging songs that bring out their charm ―What do you want to try together in 2024? Takato: I want to try singing together. Ryota: Definitely! We've never done that before. What kind of song should we do? Takato: Covering a song would be nice too, and since we've both done rap and singing, a song that has both part would be good too Ryota: Sounds great, I want to do it! Wow, now I truly want to do it! Takato: Please look forward to it!

"I like songs that link to Genjibu's activities and representing Kansokusha" Takato: The Genjibu song that I always like is "Bokura no Sekai Monogatari." When it comes to liking a song, I'm more drawn to lyrics than melody. In this song, I especially like the lyrics of the part I sing. “Though frustrating, even if it’s painful, we’re moving forward. That’s something we can’t stop ourselves,” is the part that I feel exactly just like how we’re engaging in our idol activities. Also, the part where it says “It’s a world that started moving with us,” is actually about Genjibu and Kansokusha. It’s one of the reasons why I love this song. 

"Since I love Suda Masaki, I’m drawn into 3 Nen A Gumi" Takato: My favorite song is "Silent" by SEKAI NO OWARI. At first it was only a song that I once listened to. But ever since I heard it at the concert, I've been listening to it almost every day and humming to it. As for entertainment that moved me, I like Suda Masaki, so it's the drama "3 Nen A Gumi: Ima kara Minna-san wa, Hitojichi Desu." It had a raw theme about social media, and since I'm someone who has influence on social media, I thought, "I want this drama to continue for a longer time and reach more people!"

"Thanks to the fans, my complex turned into something I like." Takato: One thing I like about myself is my lips. I used to dislike them, but as fans started saying, "I like Takato-kun's lips," more often, my complex turned into confidence and I started liking it more. Also, because I think fans want to know what we’re up to, I try to update the official blog as much as possible. Because they like me, I want to convey and share with them too, so I write the blogs with the desire to spend even a little time together with everyone.

"Museum:0" is our culmination of hard work at the moment! A song that encompasses the future we aspire to” Ryota: Our new song "Museum:0" is a culmination of the various genres we've explored so far. It encapsulates our desire for the future and how we want things to be, so I hope even those who are just getting to know us will give it a listen. Apart from Genjibu, one of my recommendations is "Waltz for Debby" by the Bill Evans Trio. It's a very relaxing album, and I always listen to it while on the move. Listening to it made me fall in love with jazz.

"The activities of seniors and artists of the same generation is such an inspiration for me." Ryota: Since entering this world, I've started listening to various types of music, and the entertainment that moves me the most is "live performances." Live shows by AAA and Nissy, which Masaya took me to, were the perfect enactment of the word ‘entertainment’. I was amazed by the way they presented themselves that I thought, "Wow, so there’s that kind of way to perform!" Recently, I went to the Japan tour of the Italian band Maneskin, and seeing them live for the first time was amazing. They were incredibly talented, and their aura was incredible. They are young people just a little older than me, but seeing them thriving on the world stage gives me inspiration.

"It might cause trouble for others, but I like my stubborn self (lol)." Ryota: This can be both good and bad, but I like the fact that I have my own opinions. I'm pretty stubborn (lol). While members and staff might think I should be more flexible, I consider that aspect important. I love photography, and my recent favorite Instagram posts is my basketball picture. Masaya and I played basketball on an off day, and even though I have no experience in basketball, I tried to take photos that look like I can do basketball, and surprisingly, they turned out well (lol).

[sparrowvei]

(\ - ◇-/)

I need to write here more often but like actually.

Anyway, I had a nightmare last night. It was vivid, felt real, took forever, and emotionally visceral.

Nothing groundbreaking in terms of the contents of the dream. Standard "evil authority high school" dream, coupled with an escape sequence.

(Upon clicking Read More, several cutscenes will play in sequence.)

So I was in this school. Clearly a high-school kind of setting, and I was probably in either Junior or Senior year. 16-17 age range here. Dream started right smack dab in the middle. I'm in a hallway, and the very first thing I notice is that water isn't allowed for students. Like, at all. Like, water is treated as contraband during the school day kind of thing. I sit in a classroom after discussing how bullshit this actually is with someone else, and people are sneaking drinks of water when they think staff isn't watching.

Anyway, I'm in this classroom. The teacher in charge of this class is eerily reminiscent of my worst, most hated math teacher from 9th grade. Subconsciously, I knew what to expect, even if the dream-class wasn't math adjacent. We had to copy this essay thing on a tiny whiteboard in the corner above the door. I can't read it from my seat, which is in the opposite corner in the back. Time to finish this essay is something ridiculous like 5 minutes or something. I obviously don't finish.

Teacher comes by to inspect. I don't remember exactly how the exchange went, but it came to the idea of me saying that the whole thing was bullshit, including the "no water" rule. I get up and walk out, but not before spraying some water from a concealed water bottle at the whiteboard essay. The teacher is following me of course, to set out some kind of punishment and make an example of me. But she (an elderly woman, I remember her vividly) follows me unnaturally calmly. Like, all the way to the exit of the school.

I've very clearly had it with this entire school and its bullshit, and I'm just planning on walking out, thinking that legally, they can't do a damn thing to me. As I get to the front door, the teacher has been following me and talking very calmly. Before I can leave, she hits what is clearly a panic button, and even though I know exactly what that means, she still tells me (with an uncharacteristic-to-her-real-life-counterpart giggle, that stuck with me) that the cops would deal with me.

I leave, she's still following me, I see another student arrive in a pickup truck. I'm begging and pleading for my life (because police are now involved, naturally I'm afraid for my life) to have this guy take me off campus and somewhere I can hide. Home feels like a bad idea, because the school would obviously have my address on record. But I can't think of anywhere else to go, so I have the student drop me off at a payphone (those exist in this dream-world apparently, but I remember it clearly) so I can call my mother or older sister and figure out what to do.

A timeskip happens, because, dream. At this point, I should mention I had a previous dream about some kind of amalgamate "house" that my mother and older sister have and we all live together in. The previous dream this night (because my sleep is perpetually broken, but I fell back asleep super quickly this time) was us in this house, kind of a nothing-burger of a dream, I think my sister got a new custom PC or something, IDK. I was exploring the house, so I knew the details of it.

Anyway, timeskip to me back home. In previous-dream's amalgam house. I guess I called my sister, because I had to explain all of this to my still-sleeping mother, that the school was after me. I told her to not let anyone in, you haven't seen me, etcetc. And I hide. For hours. I'm in this weird not-dresser kind of cubby hole under my mother's bed, piling clothing in front of myself to be as concealed as possible.

It gets a little hazy from here, since the dream is winding down and I'm beginning to feel like I'm about to wake up. (Yep, this was a lucid dream!) Two times, I hear the headmaster of this school (middle aged man, deep voice but not imposing, not anyone I seem to know) come by, talk to my mother, and then leave. His voice gives a calm, eerily calm nature just like my teacher. It really comes off as a cult to my kind-of-waking-up brain, now that I think about it.

The teacher then comes by. This makes three visits by the school within the span of (in universe) like 4 hours or something. The headmaster did not find me, but the teacher did. I just tell her to leave. Technically, in verse, I recognize she's breaking the law, and has no grounds to take me back to the school. She makes some vague threat, but I threaten to expose this school for its "No Water Allowed" rule, and… then it gets fuzzy enough as I'm basically waking up completely.

I just know that my mother and older sister in this dream were firmly in the "fuck off" camp towards school staff, once I told my side of the story. They sure as hell were not accommodating towards school staff. And the dream didn't end with me going back, so we "won" I guess.

Like I said, the dream itself isn't scary in a bubble. But the atmosphere, the almost-but-not-quite Stepford Smiler teachers (Not brainwashed or programmed, but also super cult-creepy) and how emotional it all felt in the moment, combined with how vivid it was and how long it took, it just shook me I guess.

…

Then there's the other nightmare, before the amalgamate-house dream. Same vibe, chased by an authority figure, but it's like a boss type person at a shitty retail job, and ended with me getting some sweet Skyrim weapon that shot lightning (it was a 1h hammer but Our Mjolnir Is Different) so it got silly enough to not stick with me beyond me remembering it like right now.

[aethernightmare]

I know I'm making this update 7 months later, but I felt I had to get my thoughts out somewhere, due to there being no one else in my life I can really talk to about it.

I was right about my mother experiencing dementia symptoms from low thyroid hormone (Hashimoto's Disease).

For quick clarification and context, in the video I spent a lot of time talking about my home life more akin to a vlog, due to the pent-up stress I was experiencing. I currently live with my elderly mother due to the pandemic making rent completely unaffordable in my state (mostly due to low wages, lack of housing, outrageous rent, and extremely high taxes - in my case, 47% of my earned income). My mom also went through a major organ-removal surgery after I'd moved in, where she would have died had I not been here. So I've been staying closer to family to both help out where I can, but also because I literally don't have any other choice at the moment. Statistically, something like 80% of people my age, in my area, had to move back in with their family somehow, or face homelessness. Regardless of what kind of jobs they had.

Anyways, my mom had become increasingly agitated about my presence over the past few months, with no obvious triggers, and was even out of the blue threatening to kick me out. I'd like to think I'm a decent roommate, as part of my 'rent' is agreeing to handle most of the chores (all of the chores, and meals in bed, when she was in surgical recovery). And as a person, I'm way too boring to do even mundane things like have guests over, or make that much noise. Heck, everything I do, I do with headphones. So living with me is often like rooming with a poltergeist who happens to dust your cabinets and wash your dishes while you're away. Which isn't meant to be a humble-brag, I'm just a very introverted person who appreciates time to themself.

But around August of 2023, my mom really just snapped on me. Picking fights about my "attitude" (since I suppose there was nothing else to pin blame on) at any chance she got, and attempting to draw me into nonsensical verbal fights with her, whenever she perceived an opportunity. And it's hard to say what I was doing wrong, because I could literally breathe too heavily, and she would say I was "dramatically groaning and rolling my eyes for attention". I would tiptoe up the steps in an attempt to be as silent as possible, but she'd angrily follow up after me to yell and frame the action as "stomping up the stairs to make a scene" (to who? nobody else lives here??).

It was so bizarre that it's actually hard to verbalize, process, or initially find a root cause for, because her personality shift rolled in like a storm. One day she was happy to have my help, and the next she would be crying and screaming about what an awful person I am, and how she "doesn't know why I'm treating her like this". Though she would never actually clarify what she means, because as sad as it is with mental health episodes, I doubt her brain even really knew.

And that's the hard part with dementia symptoms especially - many times the agitated elder doesn't know what they want. I like to think I'm an amicable person open to compromise, so if I was really doing something to upset her, I'd rather just be told so that we can both maintain good boundaries. If she needed me to help pay more of the bills, I probably would (within reason). If she needed me to change how I'm doing a chore, I would. If I have a bad habit I'm obvious too, I'd rather know about it so I can change. If she wants to spend more time by herself or out of the house (like with friends), that's never been something I've ever taken issue with, towards anyone. But she treats me and resents me as if I'm keeping her housebound, when in reality, I'd love if she spent more time elsewhere. It'd give me so much more space to relax or get things done at my own pace, without her constantly around lol. If anything, she's the one keeping me housebound, not the other way around.

This isn't the first time she's gone through such an episode either. Extreme agitation with no obvious source, leading to verbal fights or even completely kicking me out, and then later not remembering that she was even angry/abusive to begin with. Which is why I was able to make the assumptions that I did in this video. Because after my mom comes out of these fogs, she doesn't seem to comprehend she was the aggressor who had the mental breakdown, and as a result, I take all of the heat and blame instead. (If she can't remember a source, she by default makes me the source). Thankfully, I secretly recorded some of her latest meltdown conversations for myself, so I know for a fact later on who exactly said what, and what each of our states of minds were. But you know it's bad when it gets to that point to begin with. In all of the recordings I was lucid, calm, and making attempts to de-escalate. So I can say with certainty I know I probably wasn't actually the real trigger. (I've also shared these recordings with my therapist, who agrees all of my reactions were appropriate, and that my mom's behavior was indeed abnormal/abusive).

Worth noting too, is that another obvious "tell" for when my mom's thyroid causes dementia symptoms, is that she frequently gets me mixed up with my aunt. She'll call me my aunt's name on accident, sometimes multiple times in a single conversation, even if she corrects herself immediately afterwards. But I have a strong suspicion that since my mom and aunt don't entirely get along super well (sister drama), my mom might be unconsciously melding memories of things my aunt did onto me, and thus getting mistakenly mad at me in the process. Since the worse she gets, the harder it seems to be for her to tell us and our histories apart.

Idk, it's just that when I hosted this livestream months ago, I feel like it came off as baseless complaining, due to my own guilt about daring to talk about my real-life issues on stream. But now that I've finally been able to get her thyroid hormone blood levels tested again, and gain access to an increased dosage for her medication, I feel so much more validated in what I was saying here. That my home life really was that bad when I recorded this video, and I wasn't just "being ungrateful". Worth noting too, is that my mother's condition and memory started to improve again after her hypothyroidism was once again being properly treated.

It's just that during the last couple of times my mom had major episodes like this, I would wind up getting kicked out. Though I do find it suspicious how much she likes to point out "she would never do something like kick me out", any occasion the topic gets brought up elsewhere (like local economics or in movies) - when she has done so three fucking times already in the past. Each one she then attempts to then hand-wave away and say "I never kicked you out, it was your choice to leave~". Which makes it hard for me to know if she just genuinely doesn't remember, or if she's refusing to own up to her actions.

The hard part too, is my mom actually is a decent person when she's not manic or having delusions. Its just that she's always had these kinds of mental health struggles, ever since I was a kid (I have a running hypothesis she's also ADHD and Bipolar, but have no way of getting her officially diagnosed). But now that she's getting older, and having thyroid problems in addition to everything else, it feels like all these disorders can flare up hard and fast out of the blue. And now she's having other cognition problems in addition to the lack of focus and mood swings. She can be great for months, and then one day, she just hates you, and starts struggling with basic tasks or general comprehension. She starts thinking you're "evil" (her words) and out to get her or hurt her (despite having no history of such a thing with anyone ever). Things you say to her can become wildly misinterpreted, to the point you question what she actually heard you say. She has trouble sleeping to the point she'll stay awake for days on end, or be repeatedly woken up by vivid nightmares. (I try to convince her to at least take over-the-counter medicines for this, like melatonin or CBD gummies, because they do noticeably relieve her sleep-related symptoms, but I can only convince her to take them around 10% of the time).

My heart goes out to anyone who is struggling to take care of an elderly or mentally declining family member like I am, in an economy with no avenues to either put them into full-time care homes, hire help, or even be fully financially independent ourselves.

As a result, I'm not really sure what I should do moving forward. Obviously I'll try to keep the peace as much as I can in the meantime, and try to find other avenues towards my own housing independence (though that largely depends on the state of the economy). But I also know that being independent comes with a high chance of me having to move far away from my current location, and not be able to take care of anyone else in my family whatsoever, and vice versa. And once I leave, I know I'll probably never come back this time. At a time where I know my mom will probably need me most. But I'm also not sure what else I can do. Running away seems like it might be my only option in the future. (And to be fair, she did abandon me as a child first, so it's not like this wouldn't be overdue karma).

Even if I stayed here, if her dementia continues to get worse, to the point she loses her job, there won't be much I can do for her. (Sometimes Hashimoto episodes can have a full recovery, and other times it turns into Alzheimer's). I'll probably end up needing to put her in some sort of assisted living home, because I know from her past lows, it won't be suitable for me to be her caretaker. I think my existence is just too triggering for her (especially if she gets me confused with her sister), and it would be better to have someone as manic as her taken care of by a trained and competent team of professionals, with access to proper treatments, facilities, and medications. And personally, no offense to other caregivers, but I'd rather work 80 hours a week and live in a 300-square foot studio apartment, than have to become a full-time caregiver who's unable to even leave my own house. Multiple times since I've lived here already, she's done things like leave the gas stove running, leave random cleaning chemicals on the countertops until they were dried out and sticky (she sprays them and forgets), has let her car battery run dry, or leaves doors unlocked or wide open.

Which is why there's a part of me still on the fence about enlisting to join the military. If the pay/benefits were better, I would have done so already, but those got slashed in recent years too, paying less than what I currently make. But at the same time, I'm the only young person left in my family even capable of working. If something happens to me, who takes care of my other family members? If I die in the corps, or am just unavailable for too long due to deployment, everybody else loses their safety net too. Because they have nobody else they can rely on, and I'm priced out of most government options for them (if they even still exist in a few years), so what then?

Sorry, I'm just going through a lot right now, and feel insanely emotionally exhausted. I'm handling things to the best of my ability, but am not sure how much longer I'll be able to hold out in any regard. And worse, through all of this, my mom keeps making "jokes" (that aren't actually jokes) along the lines that she "should help me buy a van so I can just go live down by the river instead". Which is...such an insanely cruel thing to tell someone, let along your caregiver/child.

Mentally I've been doing a lot of prep because I really could become homeless out of the blue, and it's a lot to keep that in the back of your mind at all times. Might really need to consider getting that RV. But if I do, I'm moving down south. Fuck van life in the northern winters, that's a recipe for death. I don't really have any other relatives that can assist me either, so all parties will probably have to be on our own. Might consider a career change too, to whatever will keep me housed and fed in the meantime. Since I'm having no luck finding affordability based on my current work. Everything either doesn't pay enough for the city it's in, or there are no employment options at all.

I do have a former co-worker that might consider helping me find a space. She successfully did the van life thing for a while after her divorce, and even became a cross-country trucker. I mean, why not when you have no more ties?

2023 was just extremely personally abusive to go through. I feel like I lost pretty much all of my closest connections in one way or another. And there's a real, credible chance that I'll wind up homeless and all alone. Honestly, I'm not okay. I'm pretending to be to the best of my ability, but I've taken a real beating this year, and feel lost and directionless. My mom, while not the best fit as an emotional connection, is literally the last "close" person in my life, and that candle flame is flickering. Eventually, I'll be left with no one. Possibly even nothing.

I hate it here. I just want the space and peace to prepare for and process it all (and grieve), but life won't give me the chance. I feel like I'm in survival mode all the time anymore, and the stress has been causing/exacerbating other health issues as well. I'm angry. Angry that stuff like this is always happening. Angry that my ex chose this of all times to abandon me. Angry that I always have to be the adult for everyone else, but rarely is anyone else the adult for me. When does it stop? When am I allowed to stop struggling? Will I ever be able to find connection without strings of servitude attached? I'm just so tired. My only spark of "hope" right now is that at least if I'm homeless, I'll have time to cry without getting yelled at for it.