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palestaticexchange · 8 months ago

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JUST THE TWO OF US

"Ey, C!" You shout over the fence where your new friend looks at you. She's all suspicious and shit. "Got you something!" Like a big man, you toss the chocolate bar and watch as she snatches it from the air. Primo-style.

"The fuck is this?!" C sneers, eyes glinting with danger. "You got me chocolate? The fuck are you?! Some kind of fägäri?!"

Your hackles raise. A shiver roots you into frozen mud at the unexpected aggression. Yeah, she's aggressive. Maybe the Cuno *should* have expected this. But you were being *nice* for fucks sake! You bought the scrawny little bitch some fucking chocolate! Money's *hard graft* in Martinaise! You're a MANS man: you know this shit... So you stole the 70 Centims from your deadbeat dad while he was comatose, then popped down the Frittte for some choccy.

In the eyes of this lass that's a weak manoeuvre. Time to embellish this shit: Cuno-style. "I fuckin' *stole* that from Frittte for you. Don't be ungrateful to the Cunn!"

Cunoesse cocks her head, bored. "*You* stole from Frittte?" Shit. She doesn't fucking believe you. A mocking whine creeps into her tone. "Cuno snuck past the fatass *kyrpänaama* stood outside? Fuckin' gun and all?"

Sweat prickles against the flannel of your top. No. Not sweat. It's just the lightning. This aint *shit* for the Cuno. You puff out your chest. "Maybe I did!"

C rolls her eyes then hops back. She's gone from sight but you hear her behind the fence all the same. "Fuck off did you."

"I fucking did!"

"No, Cuno," Bored again. "You didn't." The crinkle of tinfoil being unwrapped.

You growl and run at the fence. A tuffet of frozen crab grass bares your weight *just* long enough for you to vault up and grab the top. The wood wobbles and bangs in protest as you haul yourself onto your forearms, hanging half over it.

Beneath, the girl sits in a squat ripping strips of tinfoil from rich, brown chocolate.

"The fuck's your problem?! Try to do something nice for you and you fucking spit in Cuno's face?!" You puff out your chest again, but all that happens is a pressure against your ribs where you dangle. "Fuck you, C."

Her head snaps upwards, pippo catching against the wood. As her hat's dragged off it reveals lank hair. Her eyes are refined fire. "I didn't fucking *ASK YOU* to do that, did I?!" Her lip quivers when she snarls. She is a frenzied dog. "You fucking stupid vittupää bitch! Get out of my *fucking* face!"

You reel backwards, teetering on the fence edge as she lashes upwards. You thought she'd strike you but she throws something: a crushed ball of tinfoil which bounces, painlessly, off your face. Fucking pathetic is what it is.

"What is it you want Cuno? Want a big fucking scene?! Want me to *thank* you?!" She scrambles up and away from the fence, shoving half the bar in her mouth as she turns to face you. "Am I shupposed to-" She swallows roughly, brown-stained spit dribbling down her chin. "-Fucking *suck you off* or some shit?! Roll onto my back and let your limp little-" She coughs, pounding a fist into her chest.

"I didn't say that shit either!" You try to yell but it comes out more a wheeze. *Your* chest is hurting from the fence. "What is it then?! Is the Cuno a fag or does he wanna fuck you? Can't be both, C!"

Her face screws up as if she doesn't understand the question. She licks at her chops. "*How* the *fuck* am I supposed to know?!" She drags the back of her hand across her chin, regarding the sweet sludge before she licks that up too. "My bets on *yes* but that's *your* shit to sort out." Her eyes flick from her sticky hand to you. "And it's boring."

Whatever happened, whatever *barrier* you crossed; her rage is ebbing. You still don't fucking get it. She's just another silly bitch you guess.

"You better not be thinking nasty shit about me Cuno," C growls out a warning. "You've got that stupid fucking face on you get when you're thinking *stupid* fucking shit."

You startle, but play it off as teetering backwards. No sooner is that pressure lifted from your ribs than your FALNs make contact with the crushed crab grass. "Whatever, C." You shove your hands in the pockets of your windbreaker and turn. You don't need her. You'll be *forlorn* and shit. *Moody* like one of those cop-turned-killer types. You'll find a rooftop to stand on and stare into the distance all dramatic and shit.

Behind you the fence bangs as she scales it. There's a wooden wobble, and then a *weird* sound. Crunch. Oh shit. Is she-

As you turn you see her on *your* side of the fence. "The fuck you doing in Cuno's Kingdom?!" Your vitriol comes from a place of fear. She's never done this before.

You yelp as you scramble away, hands flying out your jacket as you make a dash for your hideout. You can hear her chasing but it doesn't matter. You've got your FALNs on. Primo-shit. High concept sportswear. Make a man a god. Three sizes too big. Make a man slip on his *fucking ass* as the whole *faggy* shoe slips around your fucking-

No. NO it's NOT fear! Cuno's not scared of anything, you're gonna-

Oh *SHIT* she's fucking *RUNNING* at you.

It's fear.

You're stunned as your back meets black ice. The white sky glaring bright above you and making your eyeballs throb. Your ankle hurts.

Quick pads slow into a leisurely walk, then she's stood above you. She smacks her lips licking chocolate from the inside of her cheeks. Cunoesse looks *beyond* bored.

Your ankle hurts.

"Real fuckin' cool Cuno. You pull these moves on the security fag outside Frittte?" She has chocolate all over the hand holding the bar. "He probably fucking *gave* this to you. Probably felt sorry for you." She takes a smaller bite this time.

"I told you, I-" You bite your bottom lip. She's being a *real* fucking piece of work today. "I fucking mugged him, yeah?! I'm a hard man! Hard man, Cuno! That's what they call me!"

The girl grins. Unlike normal it doesn't feel like she's on *your* side.

"Who calls you that? 'Cos it *aint* fucking me!" She cackles, spit-slicked globs of chocolate visible on the roof of her mouth from where you lie on the floor. "*Hard man Cuno* robbed the Frittte!" She mocks. "Took the fatass's gun and *SHOT* him with it!"

You snarl. You'll show her. You hop to your feet and- *FUCK* your ankle hurts! You yelp as you fall on your ass.

This only makes C laugh harder. "Holy shit! Are you for real!?" She walks around the length of you, eyes raking your prone form in glee. "How the *FUCK* you gonna claim shit like that if you can't even-"

You won't. You won't. No fucking way. You don't *DO* that pussy shit. It doesn't fucking help anyway. You fucking *WON'T*.

"Are you gonna cry?"

You won't.

A crow caws from the dead tree at the end of the yard. In the distance you hear the MCs making their way to and from the harbour. "Are you gonna cry, Cuno?" Oddly, her bark has lost its bite.

You stare at your feet still resting on the frozen slush. Your right shoe is still on but you've always lead with your left. The trainer's twisted sideways, your toes still clothed but heel exposed and flush to the ice. 'A strong left foot! My boy will be an athlete for sure!' And that's *worse* than being hit. A sudden burst of memory from the time *before* he got shit. Before *she* had to go and die like a stupid whore.

You start to cry.

"For fucks saaaake," C groans, arms dropping to her sides and cursing the clouds.

You don't give a shit. You'll fucking cry all day if you want: this is Cuno's fucking kingdom. Cuno can cry in Cuno's kingdom if he needs to. You cross your arms tightly over your chest and hiccup, still scowling at your feet.

C squints at you. For a minute she just watches you cry, then she drops into a squat next to you. "Eat this, runkkari." She holds the slobbery end of her chocolate bar against your face.

You scowl at her instead of your shoes.

"Huh? What? You want a fucking silver platter or some shit?!" She turns to spit quickly behind her. "Sorry, faggot, fresh out," she says sarcastically. When you neither move nor respond she wiggles the chocolate bar in your face. "My *patience* is running thin, Cuno..." She doesn't threaten you, but the threat *is* there. It's always fucking there.

Good. Maybe this time she'll actually fucking-

"Ugh!" She groans suddenly, dropping the hand that was in your face. "Fine. FINE! I'm fucking *SORRY* okay?!"

What?

"I'm *sorry* I didn't thank you for the chocolate, and I'm *sorry* for saying you wanna fuck me and shit when you're *probably* a faggot, and I'm *sorry* you fell on your skinny fucking faggot ass." She sniffs, then wraps the remainder of the sticky chocolate in ripped, crumpled foil. "So take the fucking sweets, paskapää." When it's wrapped, she leans in and tucks the sticky mess in the pocket of your windbreaker.

What?

"What?" She grumbles.

You blink. The chocolate's burning a hole in your pocket.

"You better not want anything else from me." She narrows her eyes. "I'll go. I'll leave forever."

She won't. You know this now: it's you and her. Cuno and Cunoesse. You're the same; that's why you named her. You smile.

"The fuck you smiling for, freak?! You bust your fucking brain when you fall?!" She cocks her head back and forth, assessing her Cuno for damages.

"Thanks, C." You say, pulling the chocolate from your pocket.

"Thanks..." She spits. "Don't *thank* me, you braindead fuck."

When you pop a cube in your mouth it's as sweet as it is slimy from her spit. Your smile widens.

"I fucking mean it, Cuno! I'm only keeping you around for alibi's sakes, you hear?!"

The crow caws again. There's a bang in the distance as something's unloaded from a crane. The backdoor to the Whirling opens with a creak and the blonde bitch gets one look at the two of you before she turns on her heel and takes the binbag *back* inside.

"I said do you *hear* me Cuno!"

You place your free hand on C's shoulder-

"Hey!"

And use her to pull yourself up, pushing your trainer back on.

"Touch me again and I'll cut your *FUCKING* dick off."

But she won't is the thing. She's fucking crazy, a killer for sure, but she's not *ever* gonna do that shit to *you*. You're *HER* Cuno, and as much as she's a crazy bitch: she's *yours* too.

Cuno and C.

Cunoesse and the big man.

This world is shit, but together the pair of you are gonna fucking make it.

#I *LOVE* these children. In ALL of these I've added a readmore after the first three paragraphs and it still didn't hide the first slur #on A03 I've tagged the work as having 'cuno-typical slurs' lol #anyway we are back and in full swing baybee~ have some traumatised kid bonding #pale static lore #cuno de ruyter #cunoesse #disco elysium

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steeltwigz · 1 year ago

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HI this is steel from 3 hours later WHOOPS wrote a whole fanfic abt it sorry guys, here u go (it's kinda Long, abt 2100 words)

Team Dark hadn't been a team for long. Their first mission is painful, and clumsy, and they aren't coordinated quite yet, even though they can get along well-enough. Rouge was still trying to convince her landlord to make the doorframes wide enough for OMEGA, and it was a slow process, even with the support of GUN's best lawyers to back her up when the fight turned legal. Shadow hadn't even moved his stuff into his room, it was barely his room at all. OMEGA still had to stay confined to the living room, all other hallways still painfully too tight for him to fit through. They had lived together just for a week before the next mission arrived, not enough time for them to get their lives in check yet. Not enough for them to learn each other's limits, tells.

It came as a complete surprise, then, for Rouge to learn Shadow had been having trouble sleeping. Or, more accurately, that he seemed to choose to avoid resting altogether. She had been so busy with paperwork, and making her small apartment livable, and she knew Shadow was capable so the thought of checking on him never crossed her mind. Why bother? She kicked herself for it now.

Their second mission had stretched on for days. The team had been given their week of rest, but, as it was, justice never caught a break for long, and they were thrown back into the fray so fast it made Rouge's head spin. A simple Intel Gathering mission stretched on into a three-day slog through different casinos, gang fights, car chases, and vent crawls. They had stayed at more hotels than Rouge could easily keep track of - she had left the mission with her weights worth of complimentary soaps. Her body ached and dust still clung to her hair, but they had secured their position and completed their task, and OMEGA had only set fire to one building, so she noted the mission as a success in her book.

The mission had dragged them all the way out to a cold, snowy continent, practically on the other side of the world from their home in Central City. OMEGA had spent the ride back recounting his favorite explosions, ranked from most effective to most underwhelming, as Shadow sat silently, spinning his inhibitor rings, Rouge tucked between her teammates. She leaned heavily on OMEGA, bone-tired. The last thing she remembered was a weight settling against her, and an errant quill poking her cheek, before she had blacked out completely.

Rouge returned to her senses slowly, groggy and stiff from the long ride. She was vacantly aware of Shadow still leaning against her as she stretched. OMEGA stood and, after a moment of deliberation, tucked Shadow into the crook of his arm and they were off again, returning home under the cover of darkness. They made it back once the sun had begun to rise, still barely creating the horizon. OMEGA tossed Shadow's dead weight onto the couch, and Rouge went back to her bed, and returned to sleep almost instantly.

When she thought back on the mission in the following hour after waking once again, she might have realized how Shadow began moving slower, or how his quills seemed to be raised at any moment, or even how he seemed to stare off at nothing more than usual. As it was, though, she was far too tired and absorbed in her own work. Figured he was just being angsty, and left it at that. Shadow was a powerful being, and a friend whom she trusted. She didn't need feel a need to worry about him.

Rouge had slept through the afternoon and well into the evening before her mind caught back up to the world around her. She stretched until her back ached, and was just about to turn over and rest again when familiar mechanical stepping sounded from the hall just outside her door. Her eye twitched at the sound of OMEGA's chassis scraping against the wall, definitely scratching the paint. With a groan, she rose out of bed and shuffled across the floor to stick her head out the door and peer at him.

He was walking parallel to the wall - his shoulder blades far too wide to fit facing forward - and his head was swiveled to look at the paint he had definitely just ruined. Rouge rubbed her eyes and held back a groan. She inhaled through her nose, then cleared her throat.

OMEGA's head swiveled to look at her, so fast Rouge almost missed it. She met his gaze easily, looking up into his red LEDs.

"Whatcha up to, Big Guy?" She asked, not bothering to hide her distaste at her rest being disturbed. His eyes flashed briefly.

"I HAVE COMPLETED MY CHARGING CYCLE." He stated. Rouge stared, unimpressed. What did that have to do with her? It definitely didn't explain the way he had forced himself into the hallway. Seeming to sense this, OMEGA flashed his eyes at her again and continued, "I DID NOT EXPECT MEATBAGS TO REQUIRE SUCH EXTENDED PERIODS OF REST."

Rouge looked up at him, more confused now than anything. She had remembered sleeping for a while after their first mission, and OMEGA certainly would've had memory of that. Her sleep schedule wasn't so terrible that he wouldn't know Mobians had to rest, right? She leaned on her doorframe, and shot him a confused look. OMEGA merely stared back down at her, until she realized he probably wasn't programmed to recognize facial expressions.

"What?" She asked after a moment of silence stretched on.

The sound of metal scraping brought her back to herself. OMEGA had begun walking back the way he came. She rolled her eyes, and with a mumbled "Oh, for the love of -" she took flight, weaving over OMEGA's head and down the hall, dropping to her feet at the back of the couch.

OMEGA did his best to raise his arm and point down the hall he was currently blocking, towards the living room. Rouge vaguely recalled dumping Shadow on the couch. Hadn't he gotten up yet? She couldn't remember the last time she had woken up before him, though it had only been about a week. She didn't think it mattered so much.

She surveyed the room as OMEGA made his way out of the hallway. Rouge didn't have much furniture yet, a bookshelf that sat mostly empty, some curtains on the windows, and an old couch she had found behind her club. A TV sat in the middle of the room, against the wall, and in it she could see the reflection of Shadow sleeping peacefully on the couch. She looked up at the ceiling, unenthusiastic, as OMEGA finally made it out of the hall. She turned to glare at him as he ambled up next to her. She briefly imagined exploding him with her mind, but crossed her arms instead.

"What's the matter? Shadow's had a long day. If he wants to get some extra rest, who cares."

OMEGA stood silently for a moment, staring down at Shadow. He didn't turn to look at Rouge when he spoke up again. She noted that his volume was slightly lowered than usual, though she hadn't noticed before.

"MY RECORDS SHOW THAT THIS ONE DOES NOT OFTEN REST FOR A PERIOD OF TIME LONGER THAN FIVE HOURS. IT HAS BEEN TWICE THAT LENGTH, ALREADY," OMEGA paused. In the silence, Rouge could literally hear the gears churning in his head. OMEGA turned back to Rouge.

"HE SHOWS NO SIGN OF WAKING SOON."

OMEGA was still hard to read. Rouge could guess, and be mostly accurate, but he was still largely a mystery. Now, though? She could feel worry pouring off of the robot. It was enough to make her shudder, though she shrugged it off, instead cocking a brow at him.

"Do you always track our sleeping?"

OMEGA paused, as if that wasn't the response he expected. He turned to look at Shadow again, then back to Rouge. She imagined it was the best he could do to shrug, considering his shoulders had no vertical range of motion. She sighed.

"Look, Omega. I get that you're worried," OMEGA beeped at this indignantly, but Rouge was undeterred, "but Shadow is organic too, and he needs rest just as much as I do. Give it another hour or two, he'll wake up eventually." She patted OMEGA's chest-plate, though he still seemed unconvinced. Whatever. Rouge turned to the kitchen to scrounge together some breakfast. If OMEGA wanted to suddenly be overbearing, that wasn't her problem.

Shadow did not, in fact, wake up in the next hour. OMEGA had notified Rouge of such the second the clock had struck, as if he was counting the minutes in his head. Rouge had no doubt that's exactly what he did. The first time, she reacted with annoyance. So what? Shadow was tired, so was she, and if anything she was happy he was able to relax for once. She brushed OMEGA aside again, said Shadow probably just needed another hour, and went about her day again.

When the second hour let up with no changes, OMEGA had approached her again. This time, too, she brushed him aside, with the suggestion that it would only be a little longer.

By the third time, doubt had begun to root in her chest She knew thirteen hours wasn't exactly normal, but still. She pushed OMEGA back, again, but coincidentally decided that maybe she would finally read one of the dusty novels she had in the living room. Not to keep an eye on her teammate. Pure coincidence.

The hours ticked by as the two thirds of Team Dark sat, watching their couch, and snoozing teammate, with worry.

The first thing Shadow the Hedgehog noticed when he stirred awake was just how empty he felt. His body was heavy, as if made of lead, though he felt wholly rested. Some spots burned lowly in his senses, a feeling he recognized being the after-effects of a long and arduous self-healing process. He yawned and stretched, moving to rub his eyes.

What he had wanted to do next was get up to find something to eat. What he had not wanted was to be immediately tackled the second his arm reached his face. The loud bang of the couch falling backwards reverberated in his head, leaving him dizzy. Shadow did his best to ward off his attacker, struggling against their vice grip.

"Rouge!" He shouted, pushing her head away from him, "What the hell!" The bat was practically sobbing into his fur. The unexpected display of affection was confusing and disorienting, and Shadow could feel his quills bristle at the unwarranted contact.

OMEGA, who had been watching the scene, reached over and plucked Rouge off the floor easily, eliciting a "Hey!" From the still-sniffling bat. She struggled the break free as OMEGA turned to Shadow, who had begun to sit up and dust himself off.

"YOU HAVE BEEN ASLEEP FOR SOME TIME." He said.

"35 HOURS HAVE PASSED." OMEGA continued. Shadow stopped fixing his quills. Oh.

Shadow looked up at OMEGA, and furrowed his brows. "Okay. And?"

He looked away. Shadow had never slept that long before, had he? He briefly tried to ponder his time on the ARK, but quickly thought against it.

"So you..." He paused. A deep breath in, as his brain seemed to process, "So you were just watching me sleep that whole time?"

OMEGA turned his head away briefly, then looked back at Shadow. "ROUGE SPENT MOST OF IT PACING. THERE IS NOW A SIGNIFICANT DIP IN THE FLOOR."

Rouge struggled harder and kicked OMEGA, the metal clang ringing through the apartment. "That's only because you kept following me!" OMEGA turned away to think about that. He set Rouge back down on the floor after a moment and she harrumphed, before facing Shadow. He shrunk under her gaze, slightly embarrassed, perhaps, for the trouble.

"Are you-?" She began, slowly, "I mean, is that normal, for you?"

Shadow only shrugged. He knew his body would rest differently, and he certainly recognized the way he felt now, but the 35 hours felt like a slap in the face. He didn't remember it ever taking that long for him to heal. Besides, he recalled Rouge having read all of the Professor's experiment logs. He figured she should've known the answer for herself.

She simply nodded. They stood around the fallen couch in silence, awkwardly. A moment passed, none sure what to do, before Rouge clapped her hands together. The sound caught everyone's attention.

"Well!" She said, voice laced with false cheer, "Why don't we go get something to eat, huh? I'm starved." It took a moment for him to weigh his choices, but Shadow eventually nodded enthusiastically, and Rouge smiled at him, genuine and relieved. OMEGA stepped over the couch still on the floor, and Rouge glided past, leading them out of the apartment. She caught Shadow's muttered 'what happened to the hallway?' as he and OMEGA filed out the door, and she locked it behind them with a dramatic groan.

#team dark #shadow the hedgehog #rouge the bat #e-123 omega #sorry the. entire structure changes so much it was One am and then it was Three am and now its Five am so you can imagine my Circumstances #longest fic i ever wrote baybee #it has no name. it was not meant to Exist

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