#TVDHumor

[noobiestnoober]

Plan F: Fabulous or Failure? (Damon X Reader)

This is a one shot-fic between Damon and Y/N Gilbert, who is the twin of Jeremy Gilbert. They are always upto no good and going around doing pranks. One day they decided to steal the moonstone from Klaus as a bargaining chip to make him leave the town.

I got this idea while going through story prompts. The link to the original post is here.

I hope you guys enjoy the story. <3

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"Let's just move on to plan F. F stands for fabulous."

"The way all your other plans have worked out so far, I would assume F also stands for failure."

Y/N rolled her eyes, her lips curling into a smirk, "You know, Damon, your lack of faith in me is both endearing and annoying."

Damon leaned against the wall, arms crossed, his trademark smirk firmly in place, "I'm just being realistic, Y/N. After Plan A was 'Avoiding Klaus,' Plan B was 'Befriending Klaus,' and Plan C was 'Running Away from Klaus,' I've noticed a pattern."

"Well, if you have any better ideas, Mr. I-Know-Everything, I'm all ears," Y/N shot back, placing her hands on her hips.

He chuckled, stepping closer, "You know I live for this kind of chaos. But let's hear about your 'fabulous' plan F. Maybe I'll be pleasantly surprised."

Y/N took a deep breath, dramatically flipping her hair, "Plan F involves us sneaking into Klaus's mansion, stealing the moonstone, and using it to leverage him into leaving town."

Damon raised an eyebrow, "Bold. Reckless. Probably doomed to fail. I like it."

"That makes one of us," Y/N muttered under her breath, then louder, "So, are you in or are you going to stand there and critique my plans all night?"

"What's life without a little danger?" Damon said, his blue eyes twinkling with mischief, "I'm in. But if we get caught, I’m blaming you."

"Deal," Y/N said with a grin, "And when it works, you owe me dinner."

Damon smirked, a playful glint in his eyes, "Fine. But when it fails, you're buying the drinks."

"You're on, Salvatore," Y/N said, turning towards the door, "Let's go be fabulous."

As they walked out, Damon couldn't help but feel a thrill of excitement. Y/N's plans might be a mess, but they were never boring. And deep down, he knew he wouldn’t want it any other way.

Their bond had grown over the years, ever since the Salvatore brothers moved to Mystic Falls. Damon had taken an immediate liking to Y/N’s fearless attitude and quick wit. She was the only one who could match his sarcasm and keep up with his schemes.

As they approached Klaus's mansion, Y/N whispered, "Remember the time we tricked Stefan into thinking the house was haunted?"

Damon chuckled, "How could I forget? He almost staked me."

Y/N grinned, "Good times. Let's make another memory tonight."

Damon nodded, his smirk fading into a serious expression, "Stay close, Y/N. I can't afford to lose my favorite Gilbert twin."

Y/N rolled her eyes but smiled, "I’ll be right behind you, Damon. Let’s show Klaus what fabulous really looks like."

___________________________________________________

Damon and Y/N crouched behind a row of bushes just outside Klaus’s mansion. The moon cast a pale light over the sprawling estate, adding an eerie glow to the surroundings.

Damon: "Alright, we need to be quiet and stealthy. Got it?"

Y/N: "Of course. Quiet and stealthy. My middle names."

Damon raised an eyebrow, "Your middle names are Marie Elizabeth."

Y/N huffed, "Details. Let’s focus."

They sneaked around to the side of the mansion, where Damon had spotted an open window earlier.

Y/N: "Boost me up.

Damon interlaced his fingers to give her a lift. As she climbed up, her foot slipped, and she ended up kicking Damon in the face.

"Ow! Watch where you’re aiming those!"

"Sorry! It’s dark!"

She managed to get through the window and reached down to help pull Damon up. As she helped him climb, Y/N knocked over a vase, which shattered loudly on the floor.

Damon: "Quiet and stealthy, huh?"

Y/N: "I’m doing my best!"

They tiptoed through the dimly lit hallway, trying to avoid any more mishaps. Suddenly, they heard footsteps approaching.

Y/N: "Hide!"

They dove into a closet, cramming themselves into the small space. Y/N tried to hold back a giggle as Damon’s elbow poked her in the ribs.

Damon: "What’s so funny?"

Y/N: "Nothing. Just thinking about how cozy this is."

Damon rolled his eyes, "Focus, Y/N."

The footsteps passed, and they slipped out of the closet, continuing their mission. They reached Klaus’s study, where the moonstone was supposedly kept.

Y/N: "Alright, how do we get in?"

Damon: "I’ve got this."

He pulled out a set of lock-picking tools and started working on the lock. Just as he was about to succeed, the door swung open, revealing Rebekah.

Rebekah: "What are you two doing here?"

Y/N: "Uh... surprise inspection?"

Rebekah’s eyes narrowed, "Really? At this hour?"

Damon: "It’s a 24-hour service. Very thorough."

Rebekah crossed her arms, "You two are unbelievable."

Just then, a loud crash echoed from downstairs, followed by a chorus of chickens clucking.

Y/N: "Chickens? In Klaus’s mansion?"

Damon: "Weird. Let’s roll with it."

Y/N: "Quick, we need a distraction."

Damon: "On it."

He grabbed a nearby bust and tossed it out the window, triggering an alarm. Rebekah turned to look, giving Y/N just enough time to slip into the study and grab the moonstone.

Y/N: "Got it!"

Damon: "Time to go!"

They bolted for the exit, but not before Rebekah caught on and started chasing them, "You’re not getting away that easily!"

They sprinted through the hallways, dodging more clucking chickens and slipping on feathers. As they reached the front door, Klaus himself appeared, blocking their path.

Klaus: "Leaving so soon?"

Y/N: "Uh, Damon? Plan G?"

Damon: "Plan G. Got it."

Klaus: "What’s Plan G?"

Damon smirked, "It’s for Getaway."

With that, he grabbed a fire extinguisher from the wall and sprayed it in Klaus’s face, creating a cloud of foam. They dashed past him and out the door, laughing as they went.

Damon: "I can’t believe that worked!"

Y/N: "Told you it was fabulous."

As they ran down the driveway, Damon held up the moonstone triumphantly, "We did it!"

Y/N grinned, "And you owe me dinner."

"Fine..." Damon gruffs.

Their escapade might have been chaotic, but it was also one they’d never forget.

[thebestofyte-blog]

The Vampire Diaries | ....BITCH (4x22) (di teletabisTV)

[noobiestnoober]

Babysitting the Hybrid’s Poodle (Reader and Klaus, featuring Kol)

Klaus asks you, little sister of Bonnie Bennet, to watch his dog, Hope (yes, he named his dog after his daughter), while he’s handling business. But no one told you that a hybrid’s dog is way more high-maintenance than a normal one. Between dealing with enchanted chew toys, werewolf instincts, and an unexpected visit from Kol, you start to wonder if Klaus played a cruel joke on you.

You stared at the man in front of you like he’d grown a second head.

“Let me get this straight—you want me to babysit your… poodle?”

Klaus Mikaelson—Original hybrid, mass-murderer, occasional savior of cities—nodded solemnly. In his arms sat a pure white, curly-haired poodle with a tiny flower collar, staring at you with far too much intelligence in her eyes.

“She’s not just any poodle,” Klaus said, handing her over like a crown jewel. “Her name is Hope. And yes, I named her after my daughter. Don’t read into it.”

“I’m reading deeply into it.”

“She has certain… sensitivities. The usual dog-sitter is recovering from minor burns after feeding her dry kibble instead of organic lamb and herbs,” he said casually, adjusting the sleeves of his coat. “And the last person who tried to clip her nails had their soul temporarily detached from their body.”

“Temporarily?”

“They recovered. Mostly.”

You blinked down at the fluffball in your arms. She blinked back. Her eyes shimmered gold.

“Klaus,” you whispered, “did you give your dog werewolf venom?”

He looked proud. “Not intentionally. But she’s very protective.”

Before you could protest, he pressed a kiss to the dog’s head, gave you an uncomfortably charming smirk, and vanished in a blur of supernatural speed—leaving you alone in your apartment, holding what might be the most cursed dog in New Orleans.

Hour One:

Hope had already:

Eaten a third of your spell book collection.

Barked at your reflection in the mirror until it shattered.

Growled at a bag of salt like it owed her money.

Peed on a pentagram you swear wasn’t there when you left the room.

Every time you turned around, she was either vanishing into thin air or phasing through walls like some unholy mash-up of Casper and Cerberus.

When you tried to Google “hybrid dog care,” your phone screen cracked. Hope blinked innocently.

Hour Two:

You took her for a walk.

Or, more accurately, she took you. The leash enchanted by Freya was supposed to help with control, but instead, it burned your hand like holy fire the second you tried to steer her away from attacking a vampire who whistled at her.

He lost his pinky.

“No regrets,” you muttered as you dragged her home.

She barked smugly.

Hour Three:

You were finally sitting on the couch, sipping water, trying to recharge your last nerve—when someone knocked.

You didn’t even get a chance to check who it was before the door swung open, and in walked the last person you needed.

Kol Mikaelson.

Wearing a smirk that spelled nothing but trouble, he strutted in like he owned the place, pausing when his eyes landed on Hope.

“Oh bloody hell, you’re babysitting her?” he asked, pointing at the poodle. “Brave soul. Or stupid. Haven’t decided yet.”

“I haven’t either,” you muttered. “She tried to levitate my fridge.”

Kol laughed like this was the best entertainment he’d had in weeks. “She did that to Marcel’s liquor cabinet last month. The scotch never came back down.”

You eyed him. “Aren’t you supposed to be banned from entering uninvited?”

Kol grinned wider. “She let me in.”

Hope was now curled up on your spell circle, licking her paws like she didn’t just invite a Mikaelson into your home using telepathic dog magic.

“I hate this,” you said aloud.

“She once turned Davina’s hair blue,” Kol added helpfully, pouring himself your last glass of bourbon.

Hour Four:

Hope howled at the moon on your wallpaper. Then the wallpaper peeled off the wall.

Kol was now sitting cross-legged on the floor, showing Hope how to disassemble a magical tracker like it was arts and crafts. She was watching attentively.

You contemplated opening a portal to another dimension.

“You know,” Kol said conversationally, “Klaus enchanted her collar. Anyone who tries to remove it gets hit with a hallucination spell. It’s usually bees. Angry, screaming bees.”

“Why would you do that to a poodle?”

“Because we’re the Mikaelsons, darling,” Kol said, raising his glass. “We ruin everything. Even pets.”

Hour Five:

You were about to put Hope to bed in her magically protected dog bed (crafted from vampire silk and whatever dignity you had left), when she perked up—ears twitching.

Kol’s grin faded.

“Oh no.”

“What?”

Hope began to growl.

“That’s her ‘someone pissed off Klaus’ growl.” Kol stood quickly. “Who did it this time?”

Before you could ask what the hell he meant, your window exploded. A flaming arrow landed in your living room.

Hope barked once—then vanished.

Kol swore. “She’s gone to bite someone.”

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE’S GONE TO BITE SOMEONE?”

“She’s got a teleportation charm. It only activates when Klaus is in trouble.”

You looked around your wrecked living room. “She left me. Alone. With an open portal. And a fire hazard.”

Kol raised his hands innocently. “Welcome to the family.”

Hour Six:

Klaus returned like nothing happened. Just strolled in, right as Hope reappeared beside him, blood on her fur and a small smug strut in her step.

“Well?” he asked. “How did she behave?”

You stared at him. Then at the carnage. Then at the glitter cloud still hanging in the air.

“She’s not a dog. She’s a spell wrapped in fur and trauma.”

“She likes you,” Klaus said with a smile. “She only terrorizes people she trusts.”

“I need therapy.”

“You’ll be fine.”

You handed him the leash like it was a live grenade. “Next time, I’m babysitting your enemies. They’d be safer.”

Klaus leaned in close. “But not nearly as fun, love.”

Hope barked in agreement.

🩸💥🐾 Never again.

[thebestofyte-blog]

● TVD ● (HUMOR!) - PART 10! (di LoveSucksManiac)