#Teddy Sheeran fanfic

[tea-and-toblerones]

Unison  Chapter 13 - Better Love TEASER

Hey Ya’ll, I know it’s been awhile, and I’ve had countless people asking for more and when it’s coming out. After 50 bagillion years, he’s the teaser for the next chapter

In case you’ve forgotten (you probably have, and that’s my bad) Here’s the last two chapters to refresh your memory)

Chapter 11- A Little Help From My Friends

Chapter 12-  My Seats Been Taken By Some Sunglasses, Asking About A Scar

I hadn't realised I fell asleep until I heard Ed's frantic voice above me. I slowly blinked my eyes open, his worried face coming into view. The sky was streaked gold and pink, casting him in a ethereal glow. I groaned as I sat up, taking his hand to help me up. Every muscle felt stiff as I moved. Ed sat down beside me, his arm coming around my waist. His free hand stroking my hair. I expected him to bombard me with questions, yet he remained silent. Finally I broke the silence. 

"I'm sorry about last night. I should have just asked you about the allegations instead of distancing myself from you and seeing how you reacted. It was childish and if I hadn't been keeping my distance, that guy wouldn't have been able to do what he did."

His concerned expression morphed into one on anger. His brow had pulled down, his hand had froze in place. 

"It doesn't matter what was going on, he never should have done it period. It's not your fault. It's his," He seemed to deflate a little bit, "I'm also sorry. I acted like a child too. I should have told you about those allegations. I just...it wasn't true and I didn't want you thinking I was something I wasn't."

"Hiding it makes it seem like there's more to it than that...but I can't be too mad. I haven't shared everything with you."

"Well, let's fix that. I'll tell you everything. Everything about Allison, the fallout and the reason I'm on this break. I owe you that," He stopped, "No, I owe you more, but that's a start."

[naughty-teddy-innit]

INSOMNIA... An Ed Sheeran Oneshot

Title: Insomnia

Author: Naughty-Teddy-Innit

Rating: E for Everyone - No Smuts this time!

He could tell. I mean, he always could tell. No matter how still you were, how quiet you tried to be. Slowing your breathing; deep, relaxing breathes, consciously releasing the tension from your shoulders, neck, nothing. All the bits and pieces that should be perfectly melded into the dips and softness of the mattress...they definitely were not. You'd adjusted the pillows, counted backwards, but the tension? You couldn't escape it.

You'd tried so hard not to wake him; you knew he had a Godawful Early O'clock alarm set and appearances early in the morning, but... somehow, he always knew when it was one of those nights. It wasn't one particular thing that had you.... Unsettled? Wide awake, more like, but the more you tried to-

"S'matter, love?"

Crap.

His voice was soft, slightly fuzzy at the encroaching sleep you'd surely disrupted, but there was no sigh of impatience. No rough edge to his voice, just tenderness.

You roll over to face him, regret seeping into your hushed words in the quiet darkness.

"Shit. Baby, I'm so sorry. Just... Go back to sleep."

You take in his sleepy face and before you can help yourself, your fingers are softly winding in the errant cinnamon curls that frame his pretty blue eyes, and you brush them back, your thumb tracing a warm line down his cheek, along his scratchy jaw. He's flat on his tummy, his face half buried in the snowy pillows piled against the grain of the headboard, curled beneath the floofiest of duvets like a little boy hiding from the shadows beneath the bed, and you can't help but feel that that warmth in your tummy that this Boy is yours to curl up to every night.

"Nah.... S'nother one of those nights? I-Oh come on. Bloody hell... " He's attempting to extricate himself from the tangle of sheets and covers he's wrapped himself in, and it's a long moment of him flailing before he frees his arms and the expression on his face is one of a little Boy triumphant, and all you can think is how damned adorable he is. Well, that, and how NOW you're going to have fix the blankets. You inwardly sigh.

"My brain just won't shut up." It's meant to be a casually murmured, don't-worry-about-it kinda statement. But he knows better.

He's got himself over on his back, now, pillows plumped under his head, and you can just make out the soft, sleepy look on his face through the streetlight filtering in through the curtains.

He opens his arms, entreating you to scooch in, and you're more than willing. You bite your lip, and the little smile on his face that says he's just waiting, just makes you love him all that much more. You slide yourself over, trading your overstuffed pillow for the warm planes of his lion embossed chest, and you cuddle him in.

You sleep in one of his worn, oversized Tshirts and that's about it (underwear or shorts is just a sleep wedgie waiting to happen), and there's just something about the way the soft fabric, his scent, envelops you. Especially during the long stretches when he's away and the bed is far too empty, it's like having a bit of him wrapped around you.

He's so warm. Your body, as if it has a memory all its own, fits itself around his perfectly. Your warm leg is slung over his strong, fuzzy one and the thrum of his strong, reassuring heartbeat echoes against your ear as you all but wrap yourself around him, your head pressed into the warm bit under his neck.

"Right." He gently smoothes your hair off your forehead and carefully pulls the fluffy duvet over the two of you, like a cocoon, safe and cozy. "Talk t'me, Bug. I can always hear your brain spinnin'. Plus, you snore when you're actually sleeping."

"HEY." You pop your head up and he swallows back a giggle at your expression.

"I? Do NOT snore. Take that back. Immediately."

His body is shaking as he pulls you back in against his chest, and readjusts the duvet. His face is tucked into the soft tangle of your hair, and his words are a touch muffled as he presses a soft kiss to the top of your head.

"I take it back. My apologies, bug."

You can hear the smile on his face, and you mumble a "S'better..." back at him, knowing he can hear your smile right back. A contented hum falls from your lips at the touch of his fingers gliding along the lines of your face and cheek, until his hands find your hair, fingers and thumbs, stroking so softly.

The beat of his heart, pressed against yours, automatically has you settling, calmer. Your heartrate slowing to match his, the tension in your muscles lessening with every brush of his fingers against your warm skin.

And it just comes out, spilling out of you like a rusty faucet finally flowing freely, and it's fucking liberating.

It had been 6 months since you'd moved into together, since you'd moved across the ocean, away from your family and job and everything that was familiar and comfortable and yours. And not once have you regretted it. Meeting Ed was the finding of the missing Lego piece you never knew was missing, and every single day he made sure you knew that you completed him the same way. It was real and deep and you both were in it for the long haul, and moving to England to be with Ed, to build your life together, was everything you wanted. You'd never questioned it, and every single day you found yourself knee deep in his gratitude that you'd chosen him as your partner.

But it was hard. You knew you were lucky to have landed your new job, and you loved the challenge, but feeling like the outsider was tough. You'd led your team back home, you'd built relationships, had friends. But here? There was none of that. And God.... You missed your family so much. The homesickness was overwhelming sometimes, especially at night in the muted darkness, even in spite of the technological wonder that was FaceTime and the frequent visits Ed orchestrated. He knew it was a struggle; you were a homebody and a family girl, and being so far away from your parents, your sister and brother, your niece and nephew, was a huge change.

More than anything, it was just the adjustment period. Pushing through the loneliness, and getting to know this incredible new city. Meet new people. Ed's family and friends had welcomed you with such warmth and love, and you adored them, and you were grateful for your new "second family" every day.

He'd just held you, your body curled against his, fingers and thumbs, while you'd poured out everything that was keeping you awake. You can feel his soft lips ghosting tiny kisses into the strands of hair at your forehead as he takes it all in.

"I never wanted you to regret coming here." His voice is soft, almost tentative, and you cut him off before he can go any further down that path, one that will hurt both your hearts.

You push yourself up off his chest, and prop yourself up on your elbow so that you can stare him straight in the eyes.

"Teddy..." You can see his beautiful blue eyes, searching yours, waiting for your next words. "Never. There are NO regrets, no resenting anyone, no wanting to change my mind. Not ever."

You cup his jaw, loving the tickle of his scruff against your palm, and lean down, pressing a slow, soft kiss to his lips.

"Mmm..." He pulls you in for another lingering kiss, and then tugs you back down, against the warm solidity of his body. "You're the best parts of me, Bug. The very best parts of my days and my nights too. I know how hard this has been for you, leavin' home to move here. But I'm so fuckin' grateful you did."

"You know what I'm grateful for?" A yawn threatens to escape as you snuggle into chest, your eyes suddenly heavy. "This man right here beside me that I happen to be stupid in love with. And also that I never have to be scared of being honest with you. Cause you gots me."

"Always gots you, Love. Always. And... I just want you to be happy here, innit. More than anything." He yawns and pushes his face into your hair, his warm breath tickling your cheek. "We'll do whatever it takes."

"M'Already happy, Teddy...." you murmur. "I love you."

Sleep is enveloping you, warm and heavy and welcoming, and wrapped in his arms, pressed against his heart, you know you're right where you're supposed to be.

A/N - This just started flowing last week when I had several sleepless nights, too much on my mind, and all I could think was how nice THIS would be ♥️ Hope you enjoy!

[karenbl2707-blog]

Happier

[dreaming-fangirl]

Happy Birthday to a truly talented man! Happy Birthday Ed Sheeran!

[becuzpurple]

Sleepy Intimacy - a short blurb

A few weeks ago I reblogged something about ‘sleepy intimacy’:

...and then I received a request to write something involving ‘sleepy intimacy’.  I started writing last week but got sidetracked and it didn’t really go anywhere.

Today I wrote something completely different - still ‘sleepy intimacy’, but not what I started before. 

It’s very short - just a fluffy blurb.  I hope you like it!

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Sleepy Intimacy

Ed and I became intimate very soon after meeting each other - we clicked right away - not just physically, but mentally and emotionally, as well.  It was as if we already knew each other.  There was immediate recognition, immediate trust - an extant sense of comfort and belonging.  We both felt it.  It took me longer to trust it than it did him, though.

But now that we’ve been together for a while, we are well-ensconced.  My insecurities have been, for the most part, ditched.  Every so often they creep back, because I’m human.  Being the good man that he is, though, he works through them with me.

I woke in the middle of the night - it was 2:21am, according to my phone.  Ed was sound asleep next to me.  My mind was whirring.  We’d talked earlier that evening and decided to look into moving - as in relocating - buying a home together.  I knew it was the right thing to do for several reasons, but I wondered how a move would affect all of us.  We hadn’t talked to Nate & Lucy about it yet, and I had no idea how they would take it.  This was the only house they’d ever lived in.  It was the house where Jason and I raised our family for 9 years.  I hadn’t completely sorted my own feelings about leaving - I guess I was excited, mostly, but  a little sad, too, to be honest.

But...that’s OK, right?  It's a pretty huge way of saying goodbye to a significant part of my life - it makes sense to have some mixed feelings, doesn’t it?  I wonder what Jason would think of all of this.  Would he be shocked at how our lives have changed since he died?  Would he be happy for me?  For us?

I wasn’t wavering at all about our decision to move.  I wanted it - I was extremely excited about it, actually.  But I couldn’t help my nerves, alongside the excitement.

I was restless in bed as these and other related thoughts flitted about my mind.  I picked up my phone, intending to lull my brain back to exhaustion with a monotonous game of Flower Shop.  I sat up and exhaled a breath - quietly, I thought - but as soon as I did Ed shifted and rested his hand over my thigh, lightly brushing his fingers over my skin a few times.  I glanced over at him.  He was on his back, slightly turned toward me - his usual sleeping position.  His eyes were closed, but something about the set of his mouth made me wonder if he wasn’t completely asleep.

Still, I didn’t want to disturb him.  I turned the sound off on my phone, making a mental note to turn it back on again before going back to sleep - I’d need to hear my alarm in the morning.  I pulled up Flower Shop and just stared at it, not even registering what I was looking at.  My mind was still elsewhere.

“I can hear the buzzing in your brain from here, love.”

His voice was sleepy and soft and comforting, as was his hand caressing my thigh.  I looked over at him again, and he hadn’t moved at all - not even to open his eyes.

“Oh, I’m sorry, hon,” I whispered back.  “I was trying not to wake you.”

Ed’s a fairly light sleeper.  He never has trouble falling asleep, but he wakes fairly easily.  I mentally kicked myself for inadvertently rousing him.

“S’ok.”  He wiggled closer to me and groggily fluffed his pillow up before settling in, his arm flung across my waist, his hand resting at my hip.

“Go back to sleep Ed.”

“Mmm...OK.  But come ‘ere.”

He pulled me into him and I was immediately at ease...relaxed.  It was like his touch set off a ‘reset’ button for me.  He’s here, we’re together for good, and everything will work out.  I was at peace, and already feeling my eyes droop in the exhaustion I’d hoped for. It’s pretty amazing how a gesture so seemingly small as just a touch of the hand can have such an effect. Even half-asleep, he somehow knew that I needed a physical reminder to bring me back - to ground me.

He’s truly my anchor.

I exited my game and flipped the sound back on my phone before placing it back on my nightstand.  Turning on my side, I scooted back into him so our bodies were touching - his front to my back, his arm still draped over my hip.  His breathing had already evened out again - he’s ever the quick one to fall asleep.  But I was right with him this time.

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Please like and reblog!  Feedback is always welcome and wanted.  :-)

[graphicgaff]

Ed Sheeran Watercolour Ink Splat Digital Poster Print

[howtotrainyourginger]

Please please please update Stargazer, I read all of it today and it's pure gold. I love your writing style, the story is quite sad but has an underlying humor that made me laugh out loud while wanting to cry. The dialogues are so great and I love how you portray Ed in your own way while also keeping him in character. You've done a fantastic job, and I can't wait to know how you wrap it up. I'm in love with your writing holy heck.

Hello and thank you! I finished writing Stargazer so long ago that it feels weirdly distant now, so it’s cool to check in after so long and find messages about it. I’ll make a post one day about where the whole story can be found, but for now, here’s a random little section that I never put on tumblr. Enjoy!

***

Every time you see Iris, you look away. 

No, that’s not right. 

It’s more like you don’t see Iris at all. She’s there; you know she’s there, drifting through the hallways of your house, her voice a soft murmur to her mother in another room, the scent of her lotion lingering for half a second when she passes you in the kitchen. You’ve eaten dinner with her, sat on opposite sides of the same couch watching telly, swum in the same pool. She’s this constant, inescapable presence in your life, but somehow you manage not to look directly at her, not ever, not even while handing her the bowl of mashed potato at dinner. You couldn’t say how she’s wearing her hair on any given day, whether or not she’s even changed clothes at all in the past week. You’re aware of her like an ache, like her body is this painful feeling you have when she’s in the room, an uncomfortable tightness in your jaw and the inability to turn your head in her direction. 

And for her part, Iris doesn’t see you either. She appears in the same room only when she has to, coming and going as unobtrusively as a breeze, her footsteps sometimes fading like mirror fog before you even feel her come through. She only speaks in front of other people, and she never sounds as though anything has changed, but she also never addresses you directly. No one else notices. Not even Hannah notices. Did Iris never speak to you before? It feels like she did all the time. How could no one notice the difference? How could they not realize you and Iris are just ghosts now, haunting each other? 

Rumors on the Internet. No surprise there. You and the woman from Big Brother, and on some blogs, you and the woman from Big Brother’s friend that you barely recognize from your night out (but apparently danced scandalously close to). She’s some sort of online model. Fans arguing about whether or not you left with those two while your girlfriend suffered at home. Many people assume you did, and this is all the proof anyone needs, isn’t it? Right here on several different social media stories helpfully compiled by the tabloids. 

Miraculously, no one seems to have filmed you and Iris kissing, or you being sick on the floor afterward. Maybe the Big Brother woman and her friends saw you but decided that bit of the night didn’t fit well into their narrative. 

Hannah looks through all the photos and clips, laughs at your drunken dance moves. She’d woken up when you came trudging in that night and sank heavily onto the bed. To her, you were just drunk and tired. She had no way of knowing that every part of you that wasn’t your body was fractured, hollow. She just knew you came home to her that night the same way you had every night before, and when you lay down beside her, she reached over and squeezed your hand in the dark. 

“Hey, you’re in this one,” she says to her sister brightly. She turns her tablet to show the photo: you with your hands in the air, sweaty hair stuck to your temples, one knee up like the crane pose from Karate Kid while the Big Brother woman laughs delightedly. And in the background, small, a little blurry, Iris sitting alone with her drink, fingers playing idly with the bar straw in it, watching you dance. 

Iris leans over to look at the photo. You feel her there, so near you that her hair swings down into your field of vision, but you don’t look at her. As long as you don’t look, she could be anyone. But you’re staring hard at the image of her, at the way she was looking at you that night, at the shape of her mouth, her eyes. It’s been days since you’ve seen her face. From the front, she looks less like Hannah than you remember. What was she thinking about while she watched you? “Guess I’m famous now,” she says wryly. “How will I ever go out in public again?” 

At the same time, you and Hannah both say, “Balaclava.” 

Then, shaking her head slowly, Hannah says to her sister, “I can’t believe you met Geri Halliwell.” 

***

[laylascoldcoffee]

Coffee and Cum...

The smell of bacon drags you from your sleep, the sunlight making you squint as you lift your head, confusion clouds your sleepy brain at first then you remember he's home, smiling you sink back into your warm pillow.

You take your time getting up, you're not sure what he has planned and you don't want to ruin any surprises, you go slow in the bathroom freshening up a little and pulling your hair up into a messy bun, your still in panties and a vest so you throw on a pair of PJ bottoms and make your way down to the kitchen

He sees you round the corner and greets you with a huge smile

'morning love'

Returning his smile you place yourself in his arms, tiptoeing up to meet his lips

'good morning baby' you say as your lips part 'somthing smells good' you glance round seeing a full fry up in the making

'been busy' he says his hand landing on your hips

'you hungry' you giggle turning back to face him a hand tangled in the ginger curls at the back of his head

'absolutley starving' he replies as his hands move down to cup my ass pulling me flush against him as he attaches his lips to my neck and trails soft kisses from my ear down to my shoulder

'mmm' I moan 'my baby's always got such an apetite' tilting my head back and round as his lips move across to the opposite side mirroring his earlier trail

'can you blame me when you look like this' his hands on my ass squeeze and lift dragging me up over his hardening cock, his mouth swallowing up my gasp as his lips work mine softly

My grip in his hair tightens as I groan against his mouth, pushing my core harder against him as his hands squeeze and massage my ass, I'm lost in his kiss, the way his lips move against mine, the way his tongue swirls around my mouth tasting and caressing every inch, hot breath exchanged as we gasp in the breaks, I dont feel his hands move to start with, my focus is on his mouth not feeling him glide up over my waistband and down under the material, the moment I feel his hands against the bare skin of my ass I gasp 'ed..'

he nibbles at my lower lip 'yeah..?'

He rests his forehead against mine as his hands massage me, lifting my ass separating my cheeks making me groan outloud

'i missed you baby'  I say hand sliding down over his cheek

'i missed you too' he says turning his hand to kiss my palm 'so much..'  he adds forehead resting back against mine as he continues to play with my ass cheeks pulling me impossibly close against him trapping his hard cock between our bodies, rocking and lifting me by my ass so I grind over his length

'fuck I missed you' he all but growls attaching his mouth back on mine, his kiss is hungry, messy.. breathless, he breaks away 'i need you so bad' he groans looking down seeing me pressed hard against him as he slips one had down and round between my legs ghosting a finger over my opening making me moan out

'fuck ed..  I need you too baby..' I gasp as his finger plays with my pussy, lightly dragging back and forth gathering up my wetness

'always so wet for me'

'always so hard for me' I reply grinding against him

His nose brushes against mine as he places a kiss on my lips 'spin round for me' he says slipping his hands out of my bottoms

I spin in his arms my ass lined up with his cock pjamas the only barrier, his hands pull at my hips grinding me against him

'need you please baby' I gasp reaching back to his waistband and tugging, he gets the message and pulls his bottoms the other side so they pool round his ankles, he's grabbing at mine next, shoving them down with one hand whilst the other puts pressure on my back, a silent bend over

I step forward slightly, my hands grabbing the worksurface in front of me as his fingers dance over my slick opening, rubbing circles over my clit warming me up for him

'ed please.. I need you' I beg glancing back to see him, his eyes locked on his own hand guiding his cock towards me, he looks up and smiles, a slight nod, I push back towards him giving him all the answers he needs gasping loud as I feel his cock glide over my pussy

'god I missed your pussy almost as much as I missed you' he says as he strokes himself back and forth over me

'so wet and so ready for me' he growls as he lets his tip slip inside

My mouth drops open, no sound comes.out as he slowly bottoms out in me filling me fuller than I've ever felt

'fuck Baby..' he groans out 'just as tight as I remember'

His hips pull back slowly and then re enter at the same pace, he takes his time, slowly fucking in and out of me as I gasp and pant clawing at the worktop

'more baby..' I turn catching his gaze

'need more..'

His fingers dig into my hips as he pulls me back sharply as he thrusts forward, slapping skin rings out as I groan 'just like that..'

He thrusts sharply again.. then again and again, filling me up fast and hard, I can already feel the warmness spreading, it's been so long since he's fucked me like this I knew I wouldn't last long

'faster ed.. please...' I beg and he picks up the pace bringing one hand round Infront of me

'you missed my cock baby?' he asks as his finger makes contact with my aching clit

'yeesss' I screech out as he starts to circle

'you missed me fucking you huh?' he grunts

'mmmhmm' is all I can manage as he adds pressure to my clit

Feeling the knot unravelling I reach round and grip at his wrist that still holds me in palace, digging my nails in him I screech out as my orgasm approaches

'fuck ed.. right there... Please....'

He keeps his pace steady pounding my pussy hard and circling my clit perfectly and my orgasm hits hard, every nerve on fire and burning pure pleasure making me shake all over

'fuck... Fuck... Oh fuck...' is all I can say coming down from my high, his thrusts slow a little letting me recover, his hand moving from my grip and pushing my vest up my back and placing sweet kisses on the revealed skin as I get my breath back

'you ok baby?' he asks as his lips ghost my back

'oh I'm good' I say turning to smile at him 'so good...' I add as I clench down around him watching as he tips his head back and groans out, sweat coating his neck, cheeks flushed red..

Suddenly I'm filled with hunger, I need to taste him, I pull forward his cock slipping from me as his head snaps back down his eyes wide unsure of what's happening

'i need to taste you teddy' I say as turn and sink to my knees a smile starting at his mouth

'be my guest' he grins down at me as my fingers wrap around his coated cock, hand sliding easily up and down his length, I lean forward and slap his cock against my flat tongue  as his hands find their way to my hair firm against my scalp

'been so long since I felt your mouth baby' he groans as I slide my tongue down the underside of his cock, running his cock along my face as I trail back up letting my tongue flick against his tip a few times as my hands stroke firmly pulling moans and groans from his lips

'baby.. please.. I'm already close from your pussy.. I need your mouth..'

Not one to deny him I wrap my lips round his tip hollowing out my cheeks as I travel down the length of his cock, taking him all the way in breathing deep through my nose staving off the gag I hold him deep for a few seconds before starting my ascent, flicking his tip a few times before repeating my descent once again, his grip tightens in my hair and I feel his hips start to slowly thrust forward, glancing up at him our eyes lock and I stop my movements, a lifted eyebrow and cock filled smirk tells him he's free to fuck my mouth however he wants and boy does he want too

'so fucking good for me baby' he groans as his hips start moving, sliding his cock over my tongue deeper and deeper each time

'fuck.. baby.. got me so close..' he groans as I  increase my suction, he stills at the back of my throat and I feel him throb against my tongue, knowing he's about to cum I take over, my movements firm and fast sucking him in deep, tongue flicking all over him as As I feel his cock twitch and spurt thick streams all over my tongue

He groans out loud, grunting through his orgasm his hands tight in my hair keeping me close to catch his release which I willingly take, fuck I've missed his taste..

I wait for him to loosen up on my hair before I release him from my mouth, wanting him to ride it all out, I swallow the remaining cum in my mouth looking up at him to see him totally wrecked, face red and sweaty and a blessed out look in his eyes as he tries to calm his heaving chest

He reaches for my hand to help me stand, ever the gentleman I think as I capture his lips and kiss him softly

'welcome home teddy' I say as our lips part

'now where's my breakfast, I've worked up an apetite' he laughs loud and hard

'me too baby, me too' his smile wide

'you want some coffee?' he asks leaning down and placing a kiss on my neck

'mmm Hmm, coffee and cum, my favourite breakfast' I giggle

Laughing he replies 'coffee and cum, the breakfast of freaks'

Laughing I slap his bicep, 'oi, it's you im a freak for so no teasing'

'im such a freak for you too baby' he says one hand at the back of my neck stroking sweetly as he places one kiss on the end of my nose and swats my ass with his other hand 'now go clean up and I'll reheat the breakfast...'

[famousconfessions]

Did you miss me?

Title: Did you miss me? // Ed Sheeran Fanfiction, mature content

Author: @superkatesi & @famousconfessions

Rating: NC-17

Author's note: Sooo @superkatesi and I did a thing. We were just talking and daydreaming and ended up being like "Okay, let's just write something and have some fun with it". We hope you like it and please remember that English is not our first language but we tried our best :D Every kind of feedback is appreciated! So here it goes...

It was 11 a.m. Friday. I was sitting on the floor packing our suitcase for the upcoming trip. Ed’s family was throwing a huge party dedicated to his dad’s birthday. All of Ed’s cousins, aunts and uncles were going to Suffolk for this meaningful day. Ed was about to arrive home and I was buzzing. It had been a while since we seen each other. During the last three months I was completely absorbed into the thoughts of missing this ginger perfection. There were minutes when I was just starring at his guitar that always stands next to his favorite armchair. At those moments, I closed my eyes and tried to depict him sitting there with a cup of freshly – brewed tea, a laptop and a guitar humming a new ballad. But then I realized that it was just me working on a project. Different continents, countries, time zones – all these things couldn’t ruin our love. Love that was neatly wrapped in a blanket of our sleepy mornings, wild nights and all-consuming tenderness. All of a sudden, I heard that someone was knocking on the door. It was Ed.

I got up from the floor, almost stumbling over my own feet while I was trying to get to the door as fast as possible. I just couldn't handle being away from him any longer. My heart was racing in my chest and when I finally saw him, I was so overwhelmed, that tears pooled in my eyes. “Hey baby girl", these three words and him standing right in front of me was just too much. “You are here” was everything I could say, before he pulled me in for a hug and I wrapped my arms around him as tight as I could. It kinda felt like a dream and I couldn't believe that he was actually here in my arms. I've had missed him so much, it was crazy. I didn't know it was possible to miss a person so much that it physically hurt but I learned that the hard way. “Yes, I am, love... and I'm not gonna leave anytime soon”, he said, placing a soft kiss on the top of my head. Smiling I looked up at him, biting my bottom lip. “Thank god, but I wouldn't let you go anyway”, I said, looking into his beautiful blue eyes, before I kissed his lips. It had just been too long... and missing him got harder every time he left for another leg of his never ending tour. But for now he was all mine... at least until we had to leave for that party. It was just so good to have him back, feeling his arms around me, his lips on mine, his amazing scent. God, it was almost too much for me.

I pouted, when he broke away from me to go to the bathroom to probably freshen up a bit.

He looked so casual and a bit tired after a long-distance flight, but all excited. He wore jeans and a black t-shirt that drew my attention to his colorful flexed biceps. He took off his spectacles and rubbed his eyes in this childish way that always melts my heart. I heard him screaming from the bathroom: “Did you miss me, love?”. Of course, he knew the answer but wanted to hear it one more time. I’d just wanted to tell him everything that I felt at the moment but there he was, standing next to the door-post. He left his T-shirt somewhere in the hamper. His bright tummy looked like a masterpiece and he had that promising, mischievous look in his eyes. I couldn’t help but come up to him: “Do you really want to know it? Did I miss you? Let me show you, baby boy”. I started trailing my fingers from his bare chest to the auburn scruff on his face that was deliciously tickling my fingers. He pulled me to his naked torso and I felt heat spreading all over my body. He left me speechless.

Actually, I couldn't even put into words how much I missed him so it was probably a better idea to show him. I was kinda nervous now, being so close to him and I was sure it was because I was so excited for him to be back. My whole body was tingling and I just wanted to feel him all over me. Like... he was so close but still too far away. “Go on, love, show me”, his raspy, whispering voice sent shivers down my spine, so I needed a moment, before I was able to put my lips on the rose tattoo on his left shoulder. My lips wandered from there to his neck, then down to the lion on his chest, while my hands rested on his stomach, slowly travelling down to his belt. Ed tilted his head back, anticipating my hands unbuckling it. He is a well-known tease-lover but this time was my turn. I didn’t want to let this little ready-to-go kitten get everything at once, even though I was dying to rip his pants off and admire this pleasurable view. I started giving him feather-light touches in the area where his trousers started visibly tenting. “Please, let me.. I can’t wait anymore...” he whispered under the breath in his full of desire voice. “Don’t be so mea..” he didn’t manage to finish his phrase ‘cause my naughty fingers got under his belt just right into the pants and gave him a short stroke that couldn’t go without noticing. He shut his eyes, exhaled loudly and then grabbed me, put on his shoulder and then down to the sofa. I started giggling and bit his earlobe.

Ed pinned me to the velvet pillows on the couch and frowned his gingerish eyebrows articulating in a mentor-like tone: “Do you think this is funny? I’ve been craving for you all these months...Going to sleep with one single thought - you, and waking up thinking about your body right next to mine. The only thing I want to do during these spare hours before our Suffolk trip...the only thing I want... is your legs wrapped around me and your sweet moans in my ears”. That was the second when I finally lost my mind. His angelic, freckled face with curls on the forehead was just an inch away from mine and... I gave up. My lips crashed on his and it seemed like I’d lived all this time without oxygen and finally started breathing Before I met him I didn't know what it was like to be in love. Well, I thought I knew but this whole thing with him was so different. My feelings for him were so strong that it scared me from time to time. What if someday he left me? What if it didn't work out because of his job? I tried to erase these thoughts from my mind but sometimes I couldn't help but think about that. I loved him so much and I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. I didn't have a Plan B, so if this would go wrong in the future I wouldn't know how to keep going. Luckily, everything was fine now, he was back and he was all mine right in this second. “You're wearing way too many clothes, babe", he whispered after he broke the kiss and brought me back to reality. After all, reality was now better than dreaming. “Then help me get rid of it", I replied, biting my bottom lip, wiggling under him because I was so impatient. Just a second later I felt his warm, soft hands under my shirt and a small moan escaped my lips. I almost forgot how good his hands felt on me and I couldn't wait for more. I just hoped that he wouldn't play the teasing game with me tonight... but of fucking course he took his time, running his hands over my upper body and before I could complain I felt his lips on my neck, sucking and nibbling and I was pretty sure that I wouldn't get out of this without a hickey.

“I’m going to make you feel incredibly good, love”, he cooed while taking off my shirt. It was a bit chilly in the room but my nipples hardened not because of it but because of his skillful fingers that were dancing round them, twisting and squeezing. He was sitting on me with his eyes traveling from my face to my boobs. I lifted myself on the elbows and started unzipping his jeans. He helped me and threw his pants away standing there only wearing his black Calvin Klein’s. I felt these sparks of electricity and tension between us. He leaned towards me and without any hesitation took my shorts and a thong off. I wrapped my arms around his neck, inhaled this mind-blowing smell and wanted to capture this moment forever in memory. “Please don't ever leave for this long again", I mumbled between huffed breaths and chaste kisses, while I ran my hands through his soft ginger curls... but he just smiled, pressed a few kisses to my cheek, my neck, then travelled down my shoulder, my breasts and down my stomach. My eyes fell shut, I couldn't think anymore and the pure sensation of his lips on my skin was almost enough to send me over the edge. I was hungry for more... a lot more. Talking to him on the phone and texting just wasn't the same as actually feeling him on me.

“I'm here now, love”, I suddenly heard his voice again. “So don't worry”, ohh no, I didn't. He definitely erased every negative thought with what he was doing and he slowly made me lose my mind. His lips wandered even lower, but not where I wanted them the most. Instead he took his time to kiss every inch of my thighs, just letting me wait. Ohh, he would regret that later. He then made his way up again and just when I'd given up hope I suddenly felt his lips and his tongue right there! “Ohh fuck, Teddy”, I gasped, my hands finding his hair again to have something to hold onto. He used his long fingers to spread my folds and put his tongue deeper while rubbing his nose on the most sensual part of my dripping sex. His a bit calloused fingers kneaded every piece of this positively-singing area. My hips started spontaneously buckling straight into his face that was already covered with my juices. “Are u alright, sweet girl? Can’t wait for you to come all over my face?” he growled and started lapping me with a double zeal. Every time, these words, combined with the sexiest accent in the whole world, send me to the sky. I couldn’t keep my hands to myself and they travelled from his head to my nipples. Ed noticed my action and gave me the wildest look of his already darkened navy-blue eyes. “Fuck...” I grasped, this man was truly gifted. I saw my impatient boy freeing his well-sculptured cock with one hand and giving it a long slow stroke. He couldn’t wait anymore but didn’t forget about me. Ed started rubbing messy circles on my already intolerably aching clit. This spectacular sight and sensations sent stores of electricity down my lower belly wires. I would've loved to help him out but right now I wasn't able to do anything other than to feel and watch while he touched himself. Every little movement of his fingers brought me closer, I was panting, biting my lip, trying to keep my eyes open because I just wanted to look at him. God, he was the most beautiful human being on earth and he didn't even know.

“Teddy, I'm so close, oh god, I-”, I couldn't finish my sentence, because his lips crashed down on mine but at the same time he stopped touching me and I growled into the kiss. Why the fuck did he stop now? I pushed him away playfully and looked at him puzzled, but this fucking tease just grinned at me. “Don't be mad at me, baby girl, I just don't want to finish you off like that just now”, uggh! I growled at him again, but I couldn't be seriously angry at him... not at all. Funnily, his little game just made me want him even more. I got him to lie on his back and I crawled over him, kissing his lips hungrily, while I felt his throbbing cock twitching against my tummy. “Let's see who's the impatient one here, huh?”, I whispered into his ear, rubbing myself against him. I kissed him again, while my hands travelled over the colorful tattoos on his chest, his belly, further down... and then up again. I took my time, listening to his heavy breathing and soft moans which really, really turned me on... until I finally touched him where he needed me the most. Just fingertips to very sensitive, soft skin but I heard him take a sharp breath and that made me want to tease him some more.

“Do you want more?”, I asked, looking into his eyes while my fingertips kept stroking him. “Yes, please...I want more...”, he whispered, trying to concentrate his attention on my fingers rubbing a pink plush head of his tool. I spit on my palm and spread it all the way down his shaft. It was a long wet stroke that made him tense his belly muscles. Poor boy, he couldn’t last any longer and I decided to stop that sweet torture. I was literally dripping wet and my only wish at that moment was Ed’s cock stretching out my sensitive walls...I was dying to feel every vein on his shaft and his hands all over my buzzing body. I made myself comfortable and started lowering... his twitching head touched and entered my opening just for a sec. I saw Ed’s fists grabbed the blanket that was on the sofa but his eyes were wide-open and focused on that particular moment. I did the same thing one more time but let him feel it for a while. A long primal moan escaped his parted lips. “If you’re going to play with me like this, babe, I will explode in a minute”, he groaned in a begging tone. Okay, these words..this man... his desire.... Without any hesitation I sank all the way down his length... That feeling of him filling me out was just out of this world, especially after such a long time. His head fell back in pleasure and I heard a long, deep growl out of his mouth which turned me on even more. I stopped for a second, getting used to him, before I started moving.

My hands were on his chest for some support, while his grabbed my hips, his fingers digging deep into my skin, guiding me. We soon found the perfect rhythm, just like we always did and even if it sounded weird, I was always glad when that happened because every time he was gone I feared that something between us would change, he would find someone better, he would realize that he didn't want to have a relationship because his career was so engaging. But right now that wasn't the case. It was just us, our love and lust for each other and the perfect unity of our bodies. “Fuck, love... don't stop now”, he groaned and a second later our gazes met. We looked into each other’s eyes and the moment was so intense that I almost exploded right there and then. I definitely didn't think about stopping now, so I increased our pace, his hips meeting mine. I saw stars dancing in front of my eyes with every thrust and when he suddenly started kissing my neck and his fingers found my clit again I just lost it. Everything came crashing down on me and the high carried me away. A few seconds of absolute pleasure, no worries, no pain, nothing... just the pure thrill of ecstasy. My nails were digging deeper into his chest when I felt him twitch inside of me and my walls clenched around him again, what seemed to send him over the edge, too. His head fell to my chest and he was panting, while we both rode out or orgasms, trying to regain steady breaths. “I love you, baby girl”, I heard him whisper, as I ran my hands through his soft ginger curls. “I love you too... and I'm so happy to have you back”.

A perfect reunion.

We were lying on the couch. I was listening to his heartbeat and he was playing with my hair. I looked around: my table covered with papers, our photos on the wall, his armchair with the guitar next to it and a half-way-through packed suitcase...wait?!.. “Ed, Ed! We’re going to be late for your dad’s B-Day party!” I exclaimed grabbing my t-shirt and trying to put on my shorts at the same time. I heard Ed answering his phone: “Hi, mum...we are on our way...”

[little-bit-of-randomness]

Can we just take a moment to appreciate Ed's trainers...

[tea-and-toblerones]

Unison  Chapter 13 - Better Love

Better Love- Steel Train

Hey, remember once upon a time when I used to write fan fics? Well, I finally finished the chapter. 

Here’s Chapter 11 and Chapter 12 for a refresher and if your brand spankin new, or just want to reread the whole damn thing, here’s the master list. 

Enjoy guys...sorry it took a forever and a year...

You would think sleep would overtake me quick and easy, with everything that had gone down. Yet here I laid, now wide awake, my mind racing. The fallout of tonight's events playing like a skipping disc, just bursts of memories. Drinking and laughing, dancing on the floor. The guys hands on my waist...wandering down...wandering down. I flung the heavy comforter off me, a small part of me wondering if it was the reason I was covered in sweat. Ed had grumbled a little as I eased out of bed. His face buried deeper in his pillow. His pillow. The thought had pulled me to a stop. My hand hovering over my doorknob, trying to think back to when I started lumping our stuff together. When I had started splitting stuff up into my stuff and his stuff. Which, seems innocent enough, but in this moment it seemed like a huge deal. 

I shook my head. I'm making too much out of it. I pushed the door open, the little whiny creak caused him to flop over. I used to hate that creak. When Nate or someone crashed on my couch, they'd wake me up everytime they would come in to use the bathroom. I was so adamant about the door remaining open. Until Ben. A lot of things had changed after that. I can almost draw a line in my life. BB and AB. Before Ben and After Ben. Ben....fucking Ben....

I scooped up the discarded trash and dirty dishes, depositing them in their proper receptacles. I pulled down a pot and began to make tea. Something normal after such a hectic night. Choosing a night time blend over my normal lemon and ginger. I hovered over the steam, breathing in the sweet, flowery scent. I scooped up the cup, and headed out on the fire escape. I let my legs dangle off the edge as I stared off, letting my thoughts run rampant. 

Tonight was a complete and utter shit show. I could shame starting to creep in as the shots wore off. I buried my hands in my face, like that would just wipe it away. It's true, I had been spending most of the night avoiding him. Hearing that he was an abusive stalker was quite a shock. Why hadn't he told me? That's important information to know going into a relationship. I pushed a sigh through my lips. I guess I'm just as guilty about withholding information from him as well. I felt the urge to go in, snag my shoes and go for a walk to clear my head. Deciding against it, I laid back with a huff, staring up at the sky trying to spot what few stars you could see in the city. The little voice in the back of my mind was telling me I jumped in too fast and I wasn't ready for all this yet.

I hadn't realised I fell asleep until I heard Ed's frantic voice above me. I slowly blinked my eyes open, his worried face coming into view. The sky was  streaked gold and pink, casting him in an ethereal glow. I groaned as I sat up, taking his hand to help me up. Every muscle felt stiff as I moved. Ed sat down beside me, his arm coming around my waist. His free hand stroking my hair. I expected him to bombard me with questions, yet he remained silent. Finally I broke the silence. 

"I'm sorry about last night. I should have just asked you about the allegations instead of distancing myself from you and seeing how you reacted. It was childish and if I hadn't been keeping my distance, that guy wouldn't have been able to do what he did."

His concerned expression morphed into one on anger. His brow had pulled down, his hand had froze in place. 

"It doesn't matter what was going on, he never should have done it period. It's not your fault. It's his," He seemed to deflate a little bit, "I'm also sorry. I acted like a child too. I should have told you about those allegations. I just...it wasn't true and I didn't want you thinking I was something I wasn't."

"Hiding it makes it seem like there's more to it than that...but I can't be too mad. I haven't shared everything with you."

"Well, let's fix that. I'll tell you everything. Everything about Allison, the fallout and the reason I'm on this break. I owe you that," He stopped, "No, I owe you more, but that's a start."

"Well, let's make some breakfast and get comfy. We don't need to add uncomfortable due to hunger."

We pitched ideas for a fabulous breakfast spread, both drooling over potential delicacies we could be eating. After 15 minutes of saying you know what sounds good...this...we settled for the high quality, four star meal of toaster strudels, because let's face it. We wanted the food, but neither one of us had the energy to cook said spread.  So we settled into the couch, still giggling over the attempt at stupid doodles that inevitably turned into a giant white puddle.

"Alright, I think I've procrastinated enough now..." He stated as he placed the plate down on the coffee table, "So I'm gonna go out on a limb and say you know next to nothing about me and Allison?"

"Erm...not next to nothing." I wiped the remaining frosting off my face, "I know nothing about Allison and you."

"Okay, then I'll just start from the beginning. Looking back I can see how stupid I was. How young and naive..." He shook his head, "I thought she was perfect, made specifically for me. I couldn't believe my luck. Well...she ended up being too good to be true."

"I know that feeling..." I muttered, then apologised about cutting him off. He waved his hand, taking a sip of water. 

"I met her at the market. She took the last bag of crisps and we ended up chatting a bit before going our separate ways. Ended up running into her a couple days later at my favorite take away place. Made a joke about it being fate and traded numbers so we could plan our next meeting. Took her to an upscale joint and had a typical first date, talked about typical first date things, but she did seem more interested in my touring and  career than my personal life. I didn't think much of it. Most people have questions and I don't mind telling some of my more wilder stories, which she really seemed to enjoy." 

I listened to him, focusing on the way his lips moved, the way his eyes looked. I thought back, about how I had asked about the places he had visited. Places I had dreamt about visiting. He had told me about some of the parties he had went to, but those hadn't really interested me. I never really saw the appeal of giant parties. 

"I just brushed it off as her just living vicariously through me. A lot of people like hearing those types of stories. She'd offhandedly mention how cool it would be to go to one and so, one night I decided to surprise her invited her along. I had expected her to be thrilled, it was all she talked about. Almost to the point of accusing me of being embarrassed of her. Instead, she got angry, saying I had to give her more than a day's notice because she had nothing nice enough to wear. No biggie I thought, so I took her shopping. Let her pick out some clothes, we had plenty of time before we had to be there. We went from store to store, and not to sound like the typical male but, I was getting both bored and frustrated. Every time I'd suggest something she'd get upset and accuse me of rushing her or wanting her to look bad. Finally, she had picked something out that was pretty pricey but at that point I didn't care, I was just ready to leave."

I watched his adam's apple bob as he swallowed.  I could tell he was trying to get his story in order by the expression on his face. I sat in silence, my hand resting on his knee, in what I hoped he saw as comforting. He had just started but I could already tell she was no good. I know you're not supposed to make snap judgements of people but she really was coming off as a spoiled princess. It had me wondering what Ed had seen in her. He didn't strike me as the shallow type so it had to be more than a pretty face. 

"When we finally made it to the party, after she had to go home and put on what she called evening makeup." He gave me a little side eye, the corner of his mouth curling up, "I had asked her what was wrong with the makeup she was wearing because she looked gorgeous." He made a face, "Because Ed," His voice high and mimicky, "This is for day, I need a bolder look for night." He did an imaginary hair flip with a scoff. I couldn't help but chuckle. "Seriously though, I'm glad you're lower maintenance than that. Not that you're a slob, but you have more of an effortless beauty, y'know."

"Hey Ed?"

"Yeah?"

"I get what you're saying, you can stop."

He chuckled, "Right, well, We get there finally and we go our separate ways. Which I was cool with. I don't like feeling like a chaperone. So, the night goes on, a lot of drinks have been poured, a lot of joints passed and she's nowhere to be found. After searching the entire house, I find her out by the pool, in just her skivvies, waving around a bottle of booze. I had called for a ride back home and gather up all her shit and get her in the car, all while she's whinging about wanting to stay and party more. She eventually just passes out, I let her sleep it off on my couch and we continue like nothing's happened. This goes on for a couple months. Rehearsals and sound checks during the day, shows in the evening, partying at night."

"The non stop touring was starting to catch up with me. I was getting tired, I was missing home, missing my family and friends. I still had a whole leg of the tour left and I didn't know how, or even if, I was going to make it through." He paused and a somber look passed over his face, "I should have ended it with her when she first offered me molly, but I was lonely and she seemed to be the one that understood me. 'It'll help you get through, baby. You won't feel as worn down. It'll be fun.' Honestly, it didn't take a lot of persuading on her part." He let out a wry chuckle, "She knew I had an addictive personality. She did her research and she did it well. She knew I'd get hooked easy. She knew I'd get hooked on the feeling, the rush, but slowing it stopped working and I would just be numb. So she switched to coke. Line after line. It was all I could think about for months. She made it where I relied on her. Made it where I needed her."

"Stu tried to intervene, but I blew him off. I blew a lot of people off because of her. I almost lost everything. I gave her whatever she wanted since she supplied what I mistaken as happiness. I bought her so much stuff. A house, car, clothes, shoes, purses. I was stupid. So fucking stupid." 

I squeezed his knee, his hand coming over mine. "I've been through dark times before. Couch hopping, sleeping on bus benches. When I first moved to America, but I made it through. This was worse. I was always angry, I lashed out at everyone. Me and her always seemed to argue and after one huge fight, I told her to go back home to give each other space. I stopped partying, finally came to my senses and officially ended things with her. The withdrawals were awful. The body aches, the trembles, the night sweats. The physical stuff lasted a couple weeks, but the mental stuff..." He trailed off, " I wanted it for months. I wish I could say I kicked it completely but I switched to pain pills, I convinced myself that was better since my whole body hurt." 

"Then the public backlash began. I had managed to stay under the radar the entire time but when she went back home, she began telling the press that I was stalking her. That I was sending her unwanted gifts to try sway her. That when she found out I was an addict I tried to buy her silence but giving a house and car, but she 'Couldn't be bought' and that caused me to become violent. She was raking in even more cash by trashing my name. The tabloids loved it. I went from Music Superstar, to deranged druggie singer. My tour was over and I honestly thought it was the end of the road for good. Of course, like all scandals, it blew over and it was on to the next story."

"I wish I could blame it all on her but it was my choice and I have to live with it. I fell for her act. She pegged me right off the bat and it was my choice to stick with her. She was after me for my money and her fifteen minutes. She broke me. She broke my trust and not to sound dramatic, but she broke my soul."

I just sat in silence, trying to process everything. I didn't know what to say, it was just... a lot. I could just stare at him, his head bowed a little, his gaze directed at the floor. My heart hurt for him. I wrap my arm around his shoulders and pull him toward me. I began stroking his hair and he collapsed into me. 

"When's the last time you..." I trailed off timidly , not entirely sure I wanted to know the answer.

"I had some pills the day we fought and I thought it was over," he said quietly. The remorse dripping from his voice. 

"Ah..."  I had a feeling but I still felt my heart sink down into my stomach.

"I'm sorry...it seems like I just keep hurting you..." His voice cracked. I could tell he was close to tears. 

"I stand by what I said. I'll stay as long as you keep working on the underlying issues, but  I won't put up with you popping pills."

"I'm done with that part of my life. I choose you. I want you in my life. You make it so much better and I don't want to do anything that could jeopardize that."

He pushed himself up and looked at me for the first time since he started talking. I half expected his eyes to be red and puffy because it had sounded like he had been crying. Yet, they were the brightest blue I had yet to see, with a gleam behind them that I hadn't seen. He pressed his lips against my temple. 

"I just don't want you thinking I'm a magic cure, okay?"

"Of course you're not. I know it's going to be a lot of work. All relationships are, but you're worth the work Adi. I know there's gonna be hard times, but it's safe to say that the honeymoon phase is over. I'm willing to do the work and effort, the question is, are you?" 

I am? He just dropped a lot of information on me that I still haven't processed. Just how bad was his usauge? Do I really want to know? I mean, that was the past right and we don't live in the past. I kinda feel like that's naive thinking. Of course it impacts the present and future. I did say I would stand by him but how far am I willing to go? Where's the line? 

"Well...I do have concerns...I don't want to be responsible for your relapse if something would happen between us. That's a lot of pressure."

"It would be my choice if that was to happen. I know saying don't worry about it, isn't going to help. What I can say is, I'm getting to the root of the problem. I'm taking the steps help myself. I know things have went kinda fast and everything and that this break isn't going to last forever...but I just want that one special person that I can spend my life with. That enhances it. That makes my life better."

I just stare at him, causing his expression to turn sheepish. 

"And you think that's me?" I barely whisper 

"I think it could be you, yes."

"Wow..." I breathe. 

"Sorry, too much?" 

"Um...I guess I hadn't realised how much of a romantic you are and how much you thought about the future." I began picking at my nails, an old habit I had never been able to shake.

"You don't?"

"I think about the future, but...I guess I've been career oriented too long...I just been focused on that for so long..." The whole 'lumping our stuff together thoughts' crossed my mind again, "But...I could see us being together for a while..."

His face split into a grin, "We just had the where do you think we are in this relationship talk."

I nodded, "Yep, we did."

Ed blew a burst of air out of his lips, "Well, enough for all this seriousness. Let's go and do something fun."

I arch my eyebrow "You got something in mind?"

He smirked, holding out his hand, "Of course I got something in mind."

"Well, then after you." I said, taking his hand. A smile spreading across my face, pushing my fears to the back of my mind. 

I could see a future with us, but will that last when he goes back on the road? How much is going to change then?

[naughty-teddy-innit]

Rehabilitation: Chapter 4 An Ed Sheeran Fanfiction

Title:      Rehab: Chapter 4

Author: @naughty-teddy-innit

Rating:  PG- No smuts for a while, but intense content?

Click here for the Previous Chapter

CHAPTER 4

“You’re shitting me.” Her face was nothing short of incredulous as she stared me down over the messy, food strewn surface that was my kitchen counter. “How is that even possible??”

 I popped a slice of freshly washed strawberry into my mouth and tossed the rest of the juicy slices I’d already cut up into the glass salad bowl in front of me, a yummy complement to the spinach greens and pecans I’d already added to it.

 “I don’t know??” I took a sip of my Sauv and then replaced my goblet on the counter.  “I guess I just don’t Social Media and/or Pop Culture much. I grew up with Credence and Springsteen and Janis and the masters.  I just don’t pay much attention to the current pop stuff. Until I managed to bump into his manager, I had no idea who he even was.”

 “Leesie.” She paused herself mid-sentence and fortified her apparent upcoming rant with a long sip from her own wineglass, and then fixed me with a stare.  “He’s probably the most famous musician on the planet right now. He writes the most beautiful lyrics you can imagine, has a voice like melted butter….and did I mention he’s fucking gorgeous?!! And has the most delicious accent you can even fathom. And he’s supposed to be the sweetest guy EVER. How do you NOT tell me he’s lying in your hospital and that HE KNOWS WHO YOU ARE??”

 “Lynds.” I swallowed the laugh that threatened to bubble out and fixed a smile on my best friend. Who was currently aiming a dagger-laden death stare right back at me. “I love you. Very much. But you know I can’t talk about patients and medical stuff at work.  If I screw with confidentiality stuff, I could get FIRED. I like my job, remember??”

 “I’m not talking about his medical records! Everyone knows he was in this awful crash and that they have him locked away where the press and all that can’t get to him.  But like…. you’ve had conversations with him! I mean- he’s gonna be okay right?”

 “Happenstance, honestly.  I never went looking for him. And I wouldn’t say it was much of a conversation. Actually…”  I grabbed the wooden salad tossers and the dressing and began to toss the salad. “A few days ago, one of the healthcare aides got caught trying to sneak pictures of him on her iPhone while she was supposed to be passing out meals.  Security had to call the police because she flipped her shit when the nurse manager caught and confronted her.  Hauled her out yelling and screaming.  Thankfully Stuart figured it out before she managed to cause any real damage or freak him out, but it was awful.  THOSE kinds of people are the ones looking for him. I’m just doing my job. I never wanna be like that.”  I inwardly shuddered at the thought. So intrusive. I caught her eye and grinned. “I guess I can say he’s going to be okay. But I SWEAR. I really don’t know much else.”

 I looked up and she was swiping and searching for something on her phone, her lip caught between her teeth.  She suddenly grinned and slid her phone across the counter to me. I could see it was open to a video app, and I could see Ed’s name across the bottom.

 “Watch that.”

 I totally was not going to deny that I was curious.  I shook my head, laughing, and plopped myself down on the stool at the end of the peninsula-style counter.  “And what is it exactly I’m watching?”

“I’m starting you off easy.  This was the biggest song off his last album.  You’ll see.”  She bit the end off of one of the strawberries that hadn’t made it into the bowl and continued. “That pretty boy is ALL about the love songs.”

 I tapped the screen and grabbed the half empty bottle of wine, refilling my glass while the video loaded on the screen.  I flipped her phone around, allowing the images to fill the whole screen, and raised an eyebrow at the figure of the dancer whirling across the screen.  Whoever she was, she had a slammin’ body.

 His voice WAS really pretty, she definitely hadn’t made that up.  It wasn’t booming or theatrical, but softer. More melodic and sweet.  And he certainly pulled off the vest and crisp white shirt with the rolled-up sleeves thing REAL well; I was also more than curious about all the colourful tattoos that adorned his arms. He definitely was not an ugly dude that was for sure. But. I was feeling like I was supposed to be blown away. Why did I feel like my next opinion was going to be a REAL Unpopular One?

 “Well…” I took a deep breath and bit my lip at her eager expression. “I mean, he’s definitely not awful to look at. I’ll give you that.  And his voice is pretty! But it’s…I mean, it’s kinda just a typical pop gushy love song, right?  And the pretty pop star boy dancing with the pretty girl?? Come on…”  I stifled a laugh at the way her mouth dropped open in what was obviously affront and offense. My girl, she was nothing if not dramatic.

 “Annaliese. You are damaged, I swear. Where is your sense of romance??”  She was gesturing wildly with her freshly filled wine glass, the cold white wine an inch from sloshing all over our salad, and it took everything I had to not crack up completely.  I just shook my head.

 “It’s there.”  My voice was soft as I watched the video fade out on the screen. “Guess it just hasn’t come out in while.”

---------------

The next afternoon found me back on familiar ground, ready to get my volunteer on.  The schedule had me on the 4C IP unit, also known as the inpatient/recovery unit, and it was one of the sections of the hospital where I’d spent plenty of volunteer hours.  I was feeling particularly cheerful and rested considering the copious amounts of wine that I’d accidentally (or not so accidentally) consumed the night before, and I swiped my way through the unit’s security doors with a smile on my face.  I spent a good chunk of the afternoon with Callie, a nine-year-old girl recovering from a kidney transplant, knee-deep in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.  She’d read the book multiple times and by the time we finished the movie, she’d fully educated me on dragons, wands and Hogwarts.  She was a feisty, tiny little thing, and was as desperate to get home and get on with being a kid as any child I’d spent time with over the years, and I definitely finished up my time with her uplifted, and with a grin on my face.  I promised French fries and a milkshake on my next visit, as long as the doctor signed off on them, and slipped out as her mom was coming back from her lunch.

 I stepped up to the massive desk at the nurses’ station, intending to find out where they needed me next, when I heard a familiar voice behind me.

 “Really doesn’t make a damn bit of difference, mate. I really just want to sleep. Can I just get back to my room now, please?”

The soft accented voice caught my ear right away, I remembered it well. But unlike the last time….it was flat. Devoid of any warmth.  

 It was Ed.

 I had no idea where it came from, or what I was even thinking, but I found myself turning towards him and before I could help myself, my mouth was open and words were coming out.

 “Ed…Hey.” I tipped my head to the side and raised an eyebrow. “Everything okay? Anything I can do?”

 He was carefully positioned in a wheelchair, his casted leg propped up and his injured hand, implanted pins and cast still intact, resting on his leg.  He had a nasal cannula still in place, but much of the swelling and bruising that had taken over his face had gone down.  I could see he was still moving very stiffly, carefully, as he slowly turned his head toward my voice. The orderly who’d parked him at the nurses’ station shot me a quick, polite smile and turned to head off to his next task.

 A brief, rather emotionless smile flickered across his face, and then he tipped his head back, resting it against the back of the chair.

 ‘S’kind of you, Annaliese.” He took a slow breath. “Tired of being poked and prodded and this test and that scan. Really jus’ want to get back to my room.”

 “Well, I can certainly get you that far.” I raised an eyebrow at the nurse behind the desk. She nodded at me, and gestured to the door at the end of the hall. “I’ll send Malik to help actually get him situated in a minute, he’s just finishing up with inventory in the med lockup.  Thank you, Leesie.”  She raised an eyebrow at Ed, and then looked back at me before looking back at the sheaf of paperwork in front of her. “Perhaps you can work your magic and get this stubborn young man to eat.”

 I just raised an eyebrow and nodded, deciding that for now my inside voice would probably be a better choice.  Why in the world wasn’t he eating?

 “Alright…Let’s get you back to your room.”  I tried another gentle smile as I released the brake on his chair, but he just nodded, staring off down the hall.  We found his room, and I got his chair situated by the bed while we waited for the nurse to come help him into it.  I debated with myself for all of 3 seconds before lightly dropping myself into the chair beside him.

 I took a deep breath and found myself cocking my head in an attempt to catch his eye. “Alright.  So. What’s this business about you not eating?”

 The only response I got was a huffed breath and tight-lipped expression. But I wasn’t giving up.  Apparently, I was no longer nervous about overstepping? I tucked a stray lock of hair back behind my ear where it belonged, and leaned forward, intent on getting him to talk to me.

 “I’m a lot of things, definitely not a doctor, but… Even I know food is kinda important when you’re trying to heal. Gotta fuel your body, right?”

 “Why.” His voice was low and his eyes were closed. “Does everyone in this bloody place seem to be obsessed with feeding me? I’m not fuckin’ hungry.”

“Well….” I was bit taken aback, to be honest. Admittedly, my impression of him was limited to the night he’d woken up and remembered me from the ICU, but he’d seemed like a genuinely kind, nice guy. I could only imagine he must be struggling with all of this, so I figured the snippiness was only fair, and let it slide. I was trying to think of the right thing to say when he beat me to the punch.

 “Nah. I’d like very much if everyone, EVERYONE, could please remove themselves from jumping up my arse, and just leave me alone. Stuart, my dad, Mum, Matt, everyone. Just….”  He was silently shaking his head, and his uninjured hand was clenched in a fist.  “It’s NOT going to be fine, and stuffing my bloody face isn’t….it doesn’t…Jesus.” His voice broke off and I took the opportunity to change tactics.

 “Okay then.” He looked up at me, the straightforward tone in my voice probably taking him by surprise. I pushed on. “Fuck the food. Let’s just…leave that. The rest of it though? Ed… I’d imagine these people, who clearly care about you and love you so much, just want you get strong so you can get better and get the hell out of here. Right? You must want to get back to your life and never see this place again?”

 The saddest smile I think I’ve ever seen ghosted across his face, and he looked down. “Mikey doesn’t get to go back, does he?”

 Oh god…his driver. I’d left his room when I’d last seen him, before that conversation took place.  I couldn’t imagine how that must have broken his heart. My heart ached at sadness in his eyes.

 “Oh Ed…” It came out as a whisper. He looked up at me, the pain in his eyes raw.  They were such a beautiful blue, but… there was no light in them. Like windows with the blinds pulled tightly shut.  “I am so, so sorry. I can’t even ima-“

 “No, no you can’t. No one can.”  He cut me off, his accented voice once again flat. “They can’t imagine because it wasn’t their fuckin’ fault. It was mine.  He can’t go back to his wife and his children and his grandchildren, because I’m a selfish prick. He’s dead because’a me. All there is, and I don’t really care about goin’ back anywhere but my bed. Please.”

 My heart shattered right then and there. How could he possibly think such an awful accident could be his fault? Nobody, NOBODY should have that on their conscience. I didn't stop to think; I lifted myself up from my chair and knelt by his, and laid a hand on his good one. I squeezed gently and waited for him to look up at me before I spoke, and then speak I did.

 “I was there, Ed. The night this all happened? I was working in the ER when everyone was brought in. I saw the paramedics bring in the truck driver. The guy that fell ASLEEP at the wheel, the one that hit you. I could hear him crying, wailing actually, that he didn't mean to. That he was exhausted and never meant to hurt anyone, that it was an accident. But regardless of all of that, he hit you. HE did this. Not you. You could not have known something like this would happen.” I took a breath and bit my lip, in an attempt to gather my thoughts, and pressed on. “Mikey shouldn't have died, Ed, but nothing you did made that happen. I promise you that.”

 I could see the sheen of tears in his eyes, and I so badly wanted to make it better. But I didn't know how.

 “... She's right, you know.”

 The soft, gentle voice that came from behind my right shoulder startled the hell out of me and I quite nearly fell backwards. I pulled myself together and awkwardly stood to see who was agreeing with me, and Imogen, Ed's tiny, lovely mother was standing just inside the door, nothing but love on her face as she looked her boy in the eyes. I opened my mouth, the beginnings of an apology for… What I wasn't sure, on the tip of my tongue. She shook her head and gently patted my shoulder before I could get anything out, and then lightly settled herself into my now empty chair. How long had she been standing there? How long had she been listening?

 “Do you know…? “  She paused and I suddenly realized, as she glanced in my direction, that she was addressing me. “When they came to talk to us, the police, about the accident, when they told us what happened. Do you know what my boy said when they told us about the man that fell asleep?”

I shook my head, watching as she smoothed an errant curl from his forehead and lightly brushed her fingertips along his stitched up hairline.

“He wasn't even angry. He can't have meant to, he said. Isn't it enough he has to live with what he did? What about his children?” She shook her head and Ed spoke up before she could say another word.

 “They said he has 4 children at home. He'd been driving those massive lorries for years, to put them through school. Who can bloody blame him for being tired?” His voice was quiet, not really directed at either of us. “He never meant to smash us up. He's gotta live with the guilt. And so do I.”

 “Ebs.” Ebs? Her voice was soft, but determined, and his eyes met hers in a heartbeat. The expression on his face…this boy loved his mama, that much was clear.  “What Annaliese said is exactly right. You mustn’t take this on your shoulders. There's no guilt for you to live with. Michael… He’s driven you for YEARS. He knew the job, he knew you were a night owl; you always have been. He loved you like you were one of his own, and looked out for you the same way. He wouldn't have blamed you for this. Not for one moment.”

 Ed was already shaking his head. “Nah. I made him drive, overnight, in the freezing rain. Gig wasn't even for three more days, and he'd been sick with a cold for a week. We weren't supposed to leave that night. I wanted to get there early so I could write with the lads. We were on the road because of me. Simple. My fault. I'm here, he's not. All there is.” His voice was sharp, dripping with…disgust? Anger? At himself, I didn’t know, but it was killing me. And I was not having it.

 “And if you'd left the next morning, maybe a motorcycle would have cut you off or a tire might have blown.” It was my turn to shake my head. “Ed, I'm calling it. That's crap.”

 Imogen raised an eyebrow in my direction, a slight smile dimpling her cheek, and nodded.

 A different voice cut through the room before anyone could say a word, and I turned to see Malik, a big hulking quarterback of a man, and one of the best nurses on the unit, popping his head in the door.

 “My man! I hear we need to get you back in your bed. You down?”

 “Please.” He truly sounded exhausted and I knew it was time to let him rest.

 “Leesie - they bringin’ up the supper trays if you wanna give em’ a hand?” He shot me a grin and moved to the side of the bed to get it adjusted for Ed's casts and oxygen and monitors.”Gonna get this boy up in his bed and check his oxygen and pressure and all that nonsense.”

 “Think I can handle that.” I shot a raised eyebrow at Ed. “Don't even tell me gourmet Hospital Spaghetti doesn't sound delicious right now.”

 He just shook his head and sighed. “Not In-N-Out, is it.”

 Imogen unfolded herself from the chair, a tired smile on her face. “Do you work here, too, Annaliese?”

 “Oh, no!” I quickly explained my volunteer hours versus working in the ER and ICU, and I let out a quiet laugh and smile, explaining that I hope they didn’t think I was intruding or...well. Stalking her son, for lack of better way of putting it.

 “No, no, not at all. It…. “   She paused a moment, walking with me to the door while Malik assisted Ed back into his bed, and lowered her voice a notch. “It’s very reassuring and a good feeling to know my son is surrounded by people who care about him in this place. You've been very kind; John and Stuart have both said the same thing. And you're honest with him. You pull no punches. I like that.”

 I could feel my cheeks pink up at her words, and she patted my arm as I smiled and huffed a small breath.

“Well thank you, Mrs. Sheeran. That means a lot. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go pass out some exquisitely prepared gourmet hospital food.” I rolled my eyes and she shook her head, and we both shared a laugh. “Hopefully Ed will actually eat some tonight.”

 I turned to leave, but stopped short when Ed's soft accent caught me.

 “Leesie? They call you that, right?” He was back in bed, his leg positioned back in traction, and his oxygen and monitors set around him, pillows piled up behind him.

 I couldn't help the smile that crossed my face. And there was that pink in my cheeks again....

 “Yeah. Yeah they do.” I crossed my arms, and smiled to myself.  “My mom used to hate it. She always said she picked Annaliese because it was different and pretty, and then everyone started calling me Leesie for short. To this day, she's about the only one, who knows me anyway, that calls me by my full name. Well. Unless I'm in trouble, I guess.”  I tucked a stray lock of hair behind my hair, silently chastising myself for being such a chatterbox.

 “... I think Annaliese is lovely.”

 His voice was soft, and was studiously looking down at his injured hand, still bandaged, implanted pins still in place.

 “Oh, well… Thank you. You're sweet. I don't mind it much myself.” I smiled at him, thinking that this was the sweet boy I’d met the other night. I caught a glimpse of my watch and straightened up. 

“Oh crap. I should go, dinner is starting.  Be excited, Ed -  Spaghetti is coming.” I may have rolled my eyes, hoping for a smile. 

 “...Will you be…. Here… again this week?”

 I stopped short again at his quiet voice. If he wanted me to be…

 I tipped my head to the side. “Wednesday for a few hours, I think…?” I said softly.

“Just wonderin’...”  He lay his head back against the pillows, grimacing as something somewhere caught him. I hated seeing him in pain. 

“Could always use a visitor…. If you're around, that is.”

 I shook my head and flashed him a small smile. “Eat your spaghetti, bud.” I turned to leave. “And we’ll see.”

LINK TO MASTERLIST

A/N: I am so SO sorry this took so long, but it feels so good to be back in the swing of things. I beg you please, all comments/feedback/suggestions/Reblogs/ANYTHING is welcome and appreciated! Drop me an Anon ask, a comment, anything, and it makes all the difference! Thank you and SO Much more to come!! Xoxoxoxoxoxo

[no5collabsproject]

So Let The River Run... A Mature Ed Sheeran Oneshot

Extended A/N:  So, yesterday, Ed and Eminem blessed us with the video for River.  Which features Dark, Pissed off, Wet Ed.  And then it sorta spiraled into a stream of consciousness by Miss @naughty-teddy-innit and your Best Bitch Angst QUEEN, @tea-and-toblerones

Trigger warning (?):  This takes a deeper turn then you might expect, it’s dark and intense, a little smutty but now you’d expect, and features anxiety and depression themes, sort of, but we’re REALLY proud of it. We hope you love it. Please feel free to bless us with all forms of feedback, We LOVE it.  Xoxoxo

So Let The River Run....

@tea-and-toblerones AKA Miss Nanna: “Okay I would just like to say teddy in the river mv? I would like him to just tackle me in a bear hug and it spin into a fuck.”

You wasn't sure what had came over him but you could tell he was pissed. His entire presence screamed furious, done, ENOUGH. Nothing had been easy for him lately, pressures building, trusts broken, life simply overwhelming, and it looked like a line had been crossed. Shattered.

His furrowed brow. His flared nostrils, his balled fists. He was soaking wet, his cinnamon curls plastered flat to his forehead, and you assumed the thunderstorm outside had caught him. His broad chest heaved, his stride was determined, quick, and he was in your space  in no time. His hands gripping your shoulders for dear life, his lips crashing down onto yours were your only clue as he guided you up against  the wall.

“Not even one fuckin’ word. Not until I make you scream.“ His voice is an impatient growl in your ear, causing shivers to run down your spine.

He spins you around, pressing you up against the wall. Not exactly with what you would call force but with a certain intensity. But even in this moment, as one strong hand palms and kneads your ass, the other hand directing you to look back at him, he takes that split second to lock eyes on you.  A brief of twitch of his eyebrow, as if to say “Yeah?”, because that is an assumption he would NEVER make. You bite your lip, giving him a small swift nod, grateful that he wasn’t lost enough to forget, before turning back to the wall.

His hands gripped your hips, pulling them away from the wall just a bit. He tore your skinny jeans down to your ankles, none of the usual care and thoughtfulness he normally exuded, just impatience. Anger almost?  But at what you could only guess.  You step out of them as his foot came down between yours, sweeping them farther apart. His fingers find your core, vigorously stroking, plunging, working in and out of you, a frantic effort to work you up, to ready you for him. Usually he's caring and takes his time, putting your needs first, his enjoyment obvious, but not this time. He hits that one spot that makes you see stars, and it’s not a moment later that you feel him, hard, pressing himself roughly against your entrance.  There’s none of the usual to this needy, pissed off fuck.  Not the pause;  the pause where he always, ALWAYS waits to make sure you’re ready. Not the ghosting of his soft lips against your skin before he thrusts into you; his way of imprinting “I love you” into your flesh no matter what kind of sex was to follow. This was different, almost unsettling. His only need, to bury his cock so deep inside you it erases everything. Every slap of his warm skin against yours, every muted gasp and muttered curse that falls from your mouth when you two are joined, the sanctuary your snug warmth provides his aching body… It’s his outlet. His cure.

His hand finds your hair, gripping it tightly as he pushes  himself into you with no warning. His normal moans, gasps, are replaced with fierce, almost possessed grunts. Every swear, every gasp only adds fuel to the intense fire that’s prickling under your skin.  You weren’t used to this, this no eye contact thing. Sex for him was about the connection, even when you weren’t face to face when you started, at some point, he’d make sure you were. Seeing the pleasure build behind your eyes was one of his favourite things, watching you come apart at the seams, and then losing it himself as you held onto each other for dear life.  Not this time. This wasn't the loving, caring sex that you were used to. This was nothing more than a way work out the storm that was brewing inside him.

The sharp snap of his hand coming down on your ass took you by surprise. You gasp, your muscles tightening in anticipation, clamping down on him hard which earns you a satisfying growl. The words “AGAIN Teddy…” were dancing  on the tip of your tongue but you just managed to refrain from vocalizing it since he’d ordered you to remain silent. There was a pause but he must have sensed that your reaction was a good one, because another sharp slap left its mark on the curve of your asscheek, the sharp twinge of pain mixed with pleasure so fucking good.

His hand snakes around you, holding you firmly against him as he fucks his frustrations, his emotions, his...pain?  into oblivion, into you. His growls had morphed into full blown screams, cries laced with anger that you couldn’t comprehend, what was this? His movements were becoming faster and less controlled, not that they really had any control to begin with, and you knew he was fast losing control of whatever it was ...of everything.

You reach back, needing to anchor yourself, somehow, and your hands find his head, fingers sliding against his damp curls. Your touch, your hands tangled in his hair, it's almost enough to ground him in spite of his fury.

The Teddy you know... He's still there, a tiny bit of him slipping back in as he desperately wraps one strong arm around your middle, crushing you against him as he buries his face in your shoulder, and his cock as deep in you as he's ever been. It's as if he's anchoring himself to you, his port in the storm.

His sudden outburst, a garbled cry, the scream of “FUCK” that was issued as a roar of not even ecstasy, but pure unfiltered emotion; was it desperation, loss of control, anger, whatever it was, it was NOT what you’d come to expect from him when the two of you came together. His fist slams into the wall above you as he sinks every ounce of himself into that scream, and every bit of himself into you.  All the pain he had been feeling. All the doubt. All his insecurities. Every bit of him was in that release, and your orgasm, or lack thereof, was suddenly the furthest thing from your mind.

You feel him sag against you, his hot breath dancing across your damp skin. He slides out of you as you break away from his strong grip to steady yourself. You can feel the warmth running down your leg as you card your fingers through his damp curls.

He never doesn't make sure you come first, he’s always, always attentive and thorough and puts you first, but he's so beyond that, so over whatever demons are raging inside him, so lost in you, that you don't even care. You can feel his body shuddering against yours, shaking, not just from the tremendous orgasm that's ripped through him, but from everything else that's he's just released along with it

He's not catching his breath well, he's still beyond words, and you can tell he's struggling beyond what he can deal with alone. Your heart is breaking for him, and before you can utter a word, his added weight causes you to lose your balance, falling against the wall. Before you both go down, you right yourself and slowly, carefully sink down to the floor, pulling him down with you into the soft pile of the fluffy carpet. You gently pull his head to your shoulder, wrapping your arms around his shaking body as the two of you sag against the dark blue wall. And you wait. Silently, still not speaking, not a word, just letting him ride out his emotions as you card your fingers through his now fluffy curls.

"... I'm a right prick." He manages, his voice flat, his head still tucked into your embrace. His warm hand finds yours, the one currently tangled in his hair, and gently removes it, entwining his fingers with yours. He lifts his head from your shoulder, and his beautiful blue eyes lock onto yours. God. The pain that echoes in them.... It's not okay.

“ I'm so…. So fuckin ‘ sorry…. “   He falls silent again, lost in his own mind.

You continue your silent support, not knowing what to say to help take the pain away. You just continue to hold him close, your grip tight as you press your forehead against the soft curvature of his own, and you do the only thing you know how to do. You just... be there.  With him, holding him, in the hope that he’ll realise that you will ALWAYS be his constant.

"Ed..." you finally whisper, your hand still wrapped tightly in his. Your other hand cups his scratchy, damp cheek, tilting his face so that he can see you as you try to find the right words. He struggles to meet your gaze, as though ashamed, but you’re not having it.

"It's okay not to be okay. You know that right?" You speak softly, but vehemently, never breaking away from his gaze. "You'll work through this. Actually. No. Fuck that. WE will work through this. I'll be here so you won't be alone. "

His eyes meet yours and you could see the wetness that had gathered not quite to the point of tears, but still present. His hands are suddenly cradling your face, his thumbs brushing against your cheeks. His face pressing against yours.

“I don't know what I did to deserve you.”  His thumbs are brushing gentle paths along the dip and curve of your cheekbones as shakes his head.  “Jus’.  Don't go, Kay? Please. I need….” His words melt away and you’ve never been kissed this tenderly, so softly, his touch infused with everything he felt but couldn't put into to words.

He pulls you to his chest, and you can feel the steady, calm beat of his heart against your cheek, reassuring and strong, and you’re just so glad he’s here with you. Hearing your words, and feeling your promise.

“I'm right fucking here Ed. Right here. And I’m not going anywhere.” Your words, sharp and filled with promise and vehemence, wash over him, and you can feel his whole body let go as he realizes that you ARE his constant.

And you stay like that. Just like that. Holding each other, wrapped around each other, on the carpet, against a dark blue wall, and you don't let go.

Because neither of you ever will.

[marisheeran-imagines]

Guiding Light - Christmas Special #4

A/N: Hello, Sheerios! I’m finally back with the last part of the Christmas Special (for Guiding Light, I still need to update Lego House) and I hope you enjoy it! Shout out to my more than special and beautiful Sheerio friend @sheerioasteroidpanda (sorry if you didn’t want to be tagged, love!) who had the idea of the gingerbread man scene. I won’t give you spoilers, but it’s a really funny (and crazy) scene, let me know your opinion! Thank you so much, girl, you have no idea how much you helped me! (I had never eaten gingerbread man cookies, so I really needed a lot of help!). You know I love you, right? And I love you all who are reading and reblogging this special! Hope to come back with the regular chapters soon! Enjoy! PS: Read the warnings, please!

Title: Guiding Light Chapter Title: Christmas Special: First Christmas #4 Pairing: Ed Sheeran x Reader Rating: +18 Word Counter: +2200 Warnings: There’s a little, really little bit of sexual content (Ed’s wandering hands - no details - and things getting… Hard, if you know what I mean - again, no details).

These are the warnings for the regular chapters, if you get interested on this extra!

younger reader (though there’s no mention of her age), insecure reader low self esteem, stretch marks, virgin reader, a bit of angst/anxiety due to her first time, fluffy, careful Ed, sweet Ed, encouraging Ed, mature content, NSFW, smut, oral sex {both receiving}

var Mari = prompt("Do you have a nickname? Please, what is it?","Example: Tay, Bella...")

var blue = prompt("What's your favourite colour?","Example: red, pink, black...")

var King = prompt("What's your favourite Christmas movie?","Example: 'Elf', 'A Christmas Story', The Grinch...")

December 25th, 2018 - Christmas Day, Framlingham

Ed’s Farm

“Merry Christmas, baby!” Ed says when you get into the living-room of his farm. “Merry Christmas, Teddy!” you say.

“Remember that day when we were putting up the tree?” he asks and you nod, giggling. “Our cats were messing around and put the tree down twice! How could I forget that?” you joke and Ed laughs. “Do you remember the reason…”.

“Oh, you got distracted, didn’t you?” you ask him, searching in your memory what he told you that day. “I did!” Ed nods, his cheeks turning red and you caress them. “What is it, Teddy?”.

“I was looking for the perfect present to give you” he says, turning around and grabbing two boxes from below the tree. He gives you the biggest one first “This one is not ‘the perfect one’, it’s just something I know you’ve been wanting for a while!”.

You sit on the couch and unwrap the present, shocked when you see the newest Kindle Oasis E-reader - and waterproof - and an Aqua Note, that you can use when you’re taking a shower. “Teddy, if these presents are not the perfect ones, than I don’t know what can be more perfect than them!” you exclaim, emotive.

He knows how reading and writing is important to you, not only because it’s part of your job, but it’s also one of your biggest passions, and the fact he’s so supportive and encouraging of you melts your heart.

“Thank you, Ed!” you sniff, standing up and hugging him tight. “You’re welcome, love!” he giggles, putting his arms around you. “You know I didn’t want you to spend so much money with things for me, though, you are my biggest and best present! I could never give you such expensive things back, and…”.

“You don’t have to worry about that, document.write(Mari). You’re my girl, my wonderful girl, and you deserve this! What really matters is the meaning of the present, not its price!” he caresses your face and you sigh. You agree with him, this is what you’ve always thought about presents, but you wish you had enough money to buy nice gifts, like those huge and freaking nice Lego sets you know he loves.

“Now…” Ed gulps, nervously, giving you the other box. It’s very small and light and your eyes widen when you unwrap its gift paper. It’s a ring box!

“We’ve been dating for five months and only now I’ve realised we don’t have rings…” he explains as you open the small box, seeing a pair of beautiful silver ring. “It’s not a big deal, just officialising our compromise!” you look at Ed, mesmerised and enchanted by his tenderness.

“Not a big deal, Ed?” you shake your head, feeling your eyes getting wet “This means… Teddy, this means so much to me!” you sniff, letting the tears fall down your face. “Oh, my emotional baby!” he giggles, using his thumb to wipe the tears off your face “I’m glad you liked it!”.

“I liked it? Teddy, I have no words to describe how happy I am!” you blink a few times, but the tears keep coming down. “Oh, love, you’re so cute!” Ed pecks your lips before he picks one of the rings, the one with a beautiful, little document.write(blue) rock on the top “See, it? There are our names on it, and the date we’ve started dating!” he shows you the inside of the ring: ’document.write(Mari) and Ed, 23/7/18’.

“Thank you so much, Ed!” you sigh when he holds your right hand, putting the ring on your 4th finger. “Thank you so much, love!” he puts the other ring - a simpler one - on his own finger, and then he leans into you, pressing his lips on yours. You smile against his lips, so happy and so fulfilled!

“You make me so happy, Teddy Bear!” you whisper, laying your head on his shoulder, pressing your chest on his, your heartbeats synchronized. “So do you, baby!” he chuckles, putting his arms around you.

(…)

After a while, you both go to his room, ready to change your clothes and sleep. “I can’t wait to have this Kindle full of books!” you say, leaving the Kindle and the Aqua Note on his workbench.

“Oh, I bet you won’t take too long, right?” Ed jokes, starting to take his clothes off. You sigh when you see his tattoos, you love so much this side of his personality! “What is it?” he smirks, wiggling his brows at you, and you just shake your head, feeling your cheeks getting red.

Reaching your pyjamas on your suitcase, you get into his bathroom, too much ashamed to change your clothes in front of him. Five months of relationship and you’re still a virgin; five months and you still feel too insecure to give yourself completely to him. You are glad, though, Ed had never pressured you, respecting your limits and giving you the time you need.

You take a quick and warm shower, taking advantage to remove your makeup there. When you go back to Ed’s room, you find him already laid on the bed and you take your place beside him.

“You know what, baby? You look gorgeous with your makeup on, but looks so much better without it. I can see all your freckles and little marks and I can feel your smooth skin…” Ed says, cupping your cheeks, and caressing them with his thumbs. “Thank you. And to be honest, I’m super lazy to put some make up on most of the time, so I’m glad you like my face without it!” you giggle.

“You’re gorgeous with and without it… Oh, my baby is lazy, huh?” he giggles too, pulling your body closer to his, and you feel its warmth, so good during any time, and mostly, the Winter!

“You would be too, if you were a girl! Put make up on, then remove it, 'cause you are not supposed to sleep with it on your face. Bleed for a week every month, or if you don’t want to, remember to take pills every day; have this terrible check up on the doctor once you become a 'complete’ woman… Believe me, Teddy, you are lucky you were born a boy!” you joke and he nods.

“I’m lazy only for hearing about it!” he jokes and you pat his shoulder “You’re incredible, baby!” Ed brushes his lips on yours and you whimper his name, when he lays on his back, bringing you up his body. You get flushed, wondering what’s on his mind… Maybe he is wanting something more, it’s been a while since he’s done that for the last time, but… Are you ready for it?

You’re a bit nervous in this position, straddling him isn’t something you’re very used to. He giggles, grabbing your bum and squeezing your flesh, before he sits up and starts kissing your neck, leaving soft bites along your skin “You’re so sexy!” he whispers as his wandering hands run through your body, and you shift on his lap, feeling your cheeks burning. You’re definitely not used to this kind of compliment too.

Things get even more embarrassing when Ed gets a little bit too excited and you are able to feel him pressing your sensitive center through the thin fabric of your pyjama trousers “Sorry!” he stops his hands, resting them on your thighs, and raises his head to look at you, noticing how tensed you are. “No, Ed, I am sorry for not being ready yet… I know you want it, after so long, you must be really sexually aroused, and…”.

“document.write(Mari), love, it’s alright!” he calls your attention and you blush more for being jabbering “I don’t care how long you want me to wait, I love you, and it’s all that matters to me!”.

“I love you too, Ed, but I want to be able to give you everything you want!” you say, caressing his face.

“And you will, but at your time, when you feel ready, okay?!” Ed pecks your lips and you nod, sighing. He lays back and rolls so he’s on top of you now…

“Teddy…” you gulp, nervous. “Don’t worry, baby, I just wanna kiss you!” he winks at you, sensing your anxiety and you bite your lower lip, letting him convince you, as he kisses you properly, sliding his tongue into your mouth.

(…)

Christmas Day Afternoon, Ed’s Farm

“Baby?” Ed calls as you prepare hot cocoa for you both. “Yes, Teddy?” you look at him over your shoulder. “Can you cook more of those gingerbread cookies for me?” he pouts his lips for your and you giggle, walking to him and squeezing his cheeks.

“It won’t be necessary, Teddy bear!” you wink at him “I didn’t take all of the cookies to your parents’, I knew you were going to ask for them later!”.

“Oh, you’re calling me a starving guy, aren’t you?” he tilts his head, pretending to be offended. “Yes, and it’s my job to feed you!” you joke, turning around to grab the pot with the remaining gingerbread man cookies.

“The only thing is that there isn’t anything to decorate them anymore. It’s all over!” you say and Ed shrugs, opening the fridge “What, don’t you believe me?” you ask, frowning when he shows you a bottle of ketchup “Baby, I honestly don’t think this will work” you make a grimace, not even wanting to think about the strange mix of tastes of ginger, cinnamon and tomato sauce…

“Well, we never know if we don’t try, right?” he shrugs, picking up two plates and your Hogwarts mugs. “You won’t know if you don’t try, right?” you correct him and he sticks his tongue out to you. “You don’t know what you’re losing, baby!” Ed winks at you.

“There’s definitely one thing I’m not losing here: my mind!” you stick your tongue out too.

You pour the hot cocoa in your mugs and walk to the living-room, setting up the small table with them and Ed comes right after you with the plates, the pot full of cookies and the freaking ketchup. You didn’t believe he really meant that! Your Teddy is so crazy!

“Okay, now, time for document.write(King)!” Ed giggles, putting the DVD on as you both sit on the carpet, using a warm and thick blanket to get yourselves protected from the cold. You grab a bunch of cookies in your hands, start eating them and you shake your head, watching your boyfriend draw a face and decorate his gingerbread man cookie with the ketchup.

“Teddy, baby, I really wouldn’t do that if I were you!” you say. What if he ends up feeling sick after eating this strage combination?

“I think it will worth the shot!” he smiles putting the entire cookie in his mouth, chewing it and making a disgust grimace, with his eyes closed and tongue out “Yuck!”.

“I’ve told you!” you laugh and Ed sighs, drinking the hot cocoa, certainly trying to get rid of the weird taste of ginger and tomato. “At least, I’ve found the first thing ever that doesn’t go well with ketchup!” he winks at you and you laugh harder, shaking your head.

“Yes, you did, love!” you sip on your own drink, leaning closer to Ed “Hey, girls!” you smile when your cats approach you, purring. They start rubbing their fur on your favourite Christmas sweater and you stroke them.

“They like you more than me!” Ed pouts his lips. “That’s because you scolded them the other day!” you giggle when Calippo lays on your lap and Dorito start pushing her sister, competing for some space.

“Well, someone has to do the hard work, here. This is about educating them, you’re spoiling our children!” he makes a false accusation you and you roll your eyes. “How can someone be mad at this beauties?” you use a childish tone as you keep stoking their fur.

You look at Ed, and he’s got that tender gaze as always and you smile at him. “I love you!” these three words that scared you for a long time, fearing you’d never hear them from him, are the ones he mostly says to you! And you know it’s not only just for the sake of saying it; Ed’s actually meant it, every time, and you love him even more for this.

“I. Love. You!” you say, pecking his lips between each word “More than I’ve ever thought to be possible loving someone!” you add, looking him in the eye and he grins, cupping your face. “I’m so lucky I have you in my life! What would I do without you?” he frowns, and you notice he’s holding back his tears “What have I done to deserve a woman like you?” he gulps.

“You want us to end this Christmas crying?” you joke, feeling your eyes getting wet as well. “I want us to end this Christmas, and the other ones to come, happy. I want that, even when we argue, we never stop fighting for each other, we never go to bed withouth saying we love each other, because you are too much important, and I just… I can’t live without you!” Ed wipes the tears of your face, as you’ve started crying.

“This is a fucking cliche, you know how much I hate cliches, and that they may end up really bad, but, fuck it! I can’t live without you either!” you sigh, feeling the meaning of your words, you never thought you’d be that attached to someone so strongly - you’d also never thought you’d become the girlfriend of the man you most admired since you were a teen either, and here you are!

You never thought you’d say this words, because this is the kind of feeling - having this 'dependence’ on someone - you avoided your entire life, fearing the future; fearing that, if the relationship ever came to an end, you’d be left there, broken and uncapable of mending yourself.

But with Ed, everything seems so right, you know in your inside that you are meant to be, so you see no problems in letting this feelings sink into your core, and allow yourself to nurture them, let them grow and, in the not too distant future, spread this love and happiness in the form of your own children.

[sippin-on-red-wine]

Imagine..

Imagine, gently peeling back the duvet, his body heat radiating off of him. You ease yourself down behind him, sidling on in, your front pressed to his back, pulling the white duvet back over you. He stirs; not quite conscious, but his body knows yours is there. You tuck one arm under the pillow beneath his wild mess of red curls, your other hand snaking below his technicolor arm, all rainbow design. His fingers flex, seeking yours, and you lace your hand in his. He scoots forward to give you a little extra room, but you close the gap between you. You don't need space. You need to be aligned with his body, your chest falling in the same slow, sleepy heaves as his, breathing in his scent. You should close your eyes and wait for sleep to find you, but the freckles at the back of his neck keep you awake. The way they jump out against the stark creamy paleness of his skin is mesmerizing, no less wondrous than the stars in the night sky. You lie there, drinking in his scent and the solid feeling of his body against yours. His breathing is slow and even. You're sure he must be asleep...until his hand squeezes yours a simple three times: I Love You.

[becuzpurple]

Hospital - A One-Shot (pt 1 of 2)

I was asked for some Cuddly/Caring Ed and came up with this idea.  The bulk of the cuddles and caring will actually come in part 2, though (sorry!).

I wrote a part of this from Ed’s point-of-view for the first time, which was really weird for me since I’m so used-to and comfortable using Kate’s voice.  But she was unavailable (you’ll see why soon), so Ed needed to step up!

Enjoy!

Something was definitely not right. I’d had a stomachache since late morning. It was just below and to the left of my belly button at first, and then it traveled right.  Eating didn’t help, and I was pretty sure it wasn’t intestinal pain, either. Painkillers did nothing - it actually got worse as the day went on.  It was unfamiliar to me - I’d never felt pain quite like it before.

We’d had plans to visit my parents that evening, and celebrate my mom’s birthday.  I wasn’t sure if I should cancel or not, or maybe just stay home and let Ed take the kids without me.  But I decided to suck it up and go.  At about 4 pm we all piled into the car and made the short ride over to my parents’ house.

My mother loves to cook.  And even more than that, she loves to feed people. The old adage ‘Food is Love’ is a motto she lives by.  Even though it was for her own birthday celebration, she happily spent all day preparing a delectable feast for her loved ones.  She said that seeing her family together around the table enjoying both each other’s company and the meal she prepared for us was all she needed.

But not even my mom’s lasagna could fix this.  I didn’t feel like I could keep much food down, so I just picked at it, taking a few small bites here and there.  The pain was still getting worse.  

Ed said I looked pale.  He was concerned, as were my parents.  My sister-in-law Amy, a nurse, was the first to mention that maybe I should go to the ER. Once I started running to the bathroom vomiting every 10 minutes or so, I reluctantly agreed with her.

I apologized profusely to my mom for ruining her birthday, and she predictably hushed me, assuring me that my health was infinitely more important than a silly party.  

Nate and Lucy stayed with my parents while Ed took me to the hospital.  We had no idea how long we’d be there, so figured it would be best if they spent the night with them.

Ed had to pull the car over twice on the way to the hospital so I could throw up.

What is this?  

Worry was etched all over his face as he drove us through the stop-and-go city traffic.  We didn’t talk much during the drive, but he kept his hand on my knee the whole time.

We were in the waiting room for almost an hour before anyone saw me.  It was a Saturday night - the busiest time of the week for an emergency room.  I visited the bathroom no less than 6 times to vomit while we waited.  Nothing was even coming out anymore - it was all just dry heaves.  I was in significant pain, I was miserable, and I was baffled.  I came back to our seats from one of those bathroom visits, shaking my head and shrugging, feeling discouraged.

“Has this ever happened before?” Ed asked softly, his voice laced with concern.

“No,” I slowly shook my head.  “I don’t know what this could be…gallbladder, maybe?  Appendix…?” I felt my eyes go wider as I thought of another possibility.  I didn’t voice it, though.

Which didn’t matter in the least, since he’d apparently had the same thought.

“Could you be pregnant?”

——————————————————————————————-

I was finally called back to triage, where I was asked a series of the usual questions:

Describe the abdominal pain.  When did it begin?  It started late this morning - dull, kind of centered, a little to the left.  A few hours later it moved right and down and got worse - much more sharp.

Do you have a normal appetite?  Not really.  I don’t think I can keep anything down.  

Any nausea or vomiting?  Yes.  I’ve been vomiting every 5-15 minutes for the past few hours.

Are you experiencing any vaginal bleeding?  No.

When did you begin your last period?  Umm, almost a month ago I think?  I think I’m due in a few days.

Do you experience any pain with intercourse?  No.

Any dizziness?  No.

Any pain in your shoulder or back?  No.

I also told the nurse that I’d stopped my birth control pills the previous month. It seemed like something worth noting.

She was the only person we’d shared that information with at that point.  It was a decision we’d come to together, at the tail-end of what was honestly the most stressful, intense, nerve-racking, heart-wrenching, soul-baring near break-up/fight I’d ever been through.  It lasted days, but in the end we were both clear and honest with ourselves and each other about where we wanted our relationship to go.  Not that he hadn’t been forthright about that before.  It was I who had been fooling myself, and by extension, him.  But now it was voiced. It’s real.  We are stronger, completely committed, and in it for the long-haul.

We weren’t exactly trying to get pregnant, but we were no longer trying to prevent it, either.  It was a huge step, for sure.  Given my age and my past miscarriages, we thought we might need to see a reproductive endocrinologist once we officially started ‘trying’.  But we weren’t quite there, yet.

I knew that if I was pregnant, then it was very early, and something was probably very wrong.  So, at that point I was praying that it was my appendix or gallbladder.  

After another 40ish minutes of waiting my name was called again, finally, and we were led back to an examining room.  But before we even entered, I was handed a sterile sample cup and redirected to the nearest bathroom.  

I did my duty and returned to the small curtained-off area where Ed was waiting.  I changed into the hospital gown the nurse had given me, and then she returned to take my vitals, including my temperature.

“Hmm.  98.5…no fever…”  She looked a little surprised by this.

We waited an interminable 15 or 20 minutes, during which time I continued to dry-heave.  I’d been given a clean, plastic bucket, but nothing was coming out, anyway.  I was miserable.  Ed was trying to distract me with stories of his own hospital escapades.  He’s broken a lot of fingers and toes!  Boys…  

Finally, the doctor came back with the results.  She glanced at me and then at Ed, and if she recognized him she made no outward sign of it.

“Everything was negative.  You’re not pregnant so no ectopic pregnancy, you don’t have a UTI, and there are no kidney stones.”

I nodded.  “OK…”

“There is definitely something going on.  I suspect it’s appendicitis, but I’d like to run a few more tests to be sure.  I’m ordering blood work and an MRI.  But first I’d like to do a quick physical exam.”

I laid back and tried not to worry too much while the doctor applied pressure to various parts of my abdomen, observed my reactions, and asked me to rate any pain I felt on a scale of 1-10.

My memory of that night is a bit fuzzy, so my awareness of how time passed is not great.  But I do remember waiting around a lot for tests and results and room availability and doctors.  My blood was drawn right away, but we waited a while for the MRI to be done.  Then we waited some more for someone to tell us…anything.

It was after midnight before Dr.  Pianga returned.

“I’m confident that you have an angry appendix.  Your white blood cell count is high, which indicates that you’re fighting an infection…although you don’t have a fever, which is atypical.  The MRI images clearly show that your appendix is inflamed, and I do see what looks like a blockage in your appendiceal lumen, which is the hollow part of the appendix.”

“Does she need to have it out?” Ed asked.

Dr.  Pianga nodded.  “Yes, I’m afraid it needs to go,” she said, nodding at him, then me.

“OK.”

“I believe you’re a good candidate for a laparoscopic appendectomy.  It’s less invasive than the open surgery, and has a shorter recovery period.  It’s actually performed as an outpatient surgery, so you won’t even be admitted.  You’ll be home by mid-morning.”

——————————————————————————————-

Ed’s POV

While we waited in pre-op, they hooked Kate up to an IV and started some medicines - antibiotics, a pain reliever, something to stop her vomiting, and a sedative.  She became very sleepy, but also really hyper and chatty - even more so than usual.  She spoke quickly and emphatically.

“I can’t believe I’m having my appendix out?  This morning I had a stomachache and now I’m having surgery?  That’s crazy.  I’ve never even had surgery before.”

“No?”

“Oh, well I had a c-section.  I guess that’s surgery, isn’t it?  Oh, god I’m so glad it’s not an ectopic pregnancy.  I was really worried that’s what it was…”

“Yeah,” I replied softly, nodding.

“I want a baby, Ed.  I want to have a baby…babies!”, she said a little too loudly.

“Shhhh, OK.  OK, darling.” I smiled down at her, smoothing her hair back away from her face, and then took a quick glance around to see if anyone else could hear our conversation besides Ebony, the nurse who just re-entered our curtained-off ‘room’.

“No, no…your babies, not just any babies…”  she seemed to be under the impression that I might have mistakenly thought she wanted some random, general babies.  

I was sat down on the edge of her bed, right next to her, and couldn’t help the smile that broke out at hearing those words.  

I softly kissed her forehead, and then took her hand in both of mine.

“I want that, too,” I whispered softly.

I hated seeing her in pain, worried, and so vulnerable.  This was new territory for me.  I’m not very familiar with American hospitals or surgery procedures, and felt quite out of my element.  I wasn’t going to let her see that, though.  I knew it was a pretty common surgery, but I was worried, all-the-same.  

The possibility of an ectopic pregnancy had scared the piss out of me. The idea of losing our baby before even getting to know him or her?  No.  Just no.  And Kate has had more than her share of losses in her life.  It would kill a good part of me if that were to happen to us.  To her.  

The anesthesiologist came back and administered the drugs via her IV to put her under.  Kate looked a little nervous, so I whispered sweet and silly and entirely inappropriate things to her to get her to smile, and she was out almost immediately.  Ebony was trying to hold back a smirk after everything she’d just overheard, and wasn’t doing a very good job of it.  I grinned sheepishly back at her.

“Will she remember any of that?”

“Probably not.  But believe me, she means every word she said.  That stuff is truth serum.”

——————————————————————————————-

Pt. 2 - Home

As always, likes and reblogs are mucho-appreciated, as is any feedback you might care to offer.  :-)

-BP💜