Sorry but this is so fucking funny. This is supernatural levels of funny. You take one of the shows that showed every other 2010s media how queerbaiting is done and revive it six years later just to kill one half of the ship while the other character isn’t even there, but still can’t resist adding a not so subtle reference to how ACTUALLY the fans were right and the ship was true (possibly, hilariously one sided) all along. Incredible. Truly one of the masters of the game
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This is how I pictured Coach meeting Eli whe he applied for the lacrosse team
Coach: Next, Elias Hale
Eli: Hi-
Coach: I said Hale, go back in line Stilinski
Eli: I-
Coach: Can't you heard Stilinski? I said back in line!
Eli: But I'm not-
Coach: You know what? Alright, your in. If I saw potential in your dad I guess I can work with you.
Eli: Sr. I thi- wait… are you really gonna give me the position?! I haven't even played?
Coach: So?
Eli: …
Eli: Nothing, thanks for the oportunity.
Later that day:
Derek: So… how was practice? did you get in?
Eli: Actually, I did.
Derek: Awesome, I'm so excited to go cheer you up.
Eli: That's great dad, but just remember: You must sit besides the Sheriff and follow the player with the Stilinski lastname.
Derek: …
Eli: …
*Stiles astral proyecting himself since cuantico to the living room*: WhY diD I Just ReceIVed a mAil fROM Coach to CheCk thAT "My SoN" Can PLAy in THE NExt game?
Eli *running up the stairs*: Maybe I should go to my room to do my homework. Please Stiles, I need the form signed for thursday. I love ya, bye.
Stiles: Did he just-
Derek: Idk, it's your kid.
Stiles: But-
Derek: ALL YOURS.
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Okay but running with the Nemeton-created-Eli theory is just. Scary as hell but also really funny. Like imagine Stiles and Derek both feeling drawn out to the tree stump, confused as hell as to why they feel like they HAVE to get there, only to find baby Eli full on baby-in-a-basket-style.
So they take him to the station because duh they need to figure out who his parents are, so they run his dna but since his eyes flared they keep it quiet since they don’t think a social worker can handle a werewolf baby
And just who’s dna gets pinged?? None other than the (exonerated) murder suspect Derek Hale AND the delinquent sheriffs son Stiles Stilinski (who’s dad once booked him to try and scare him after he first stole the Jeep when he was like 14 (which definitely did not work))
Noah just reads the results, sighs so hard he nearly breaks something, and then goes to Derek’s loft where he and Stiles are babysitting the kid, and he can hear the bickering and sarcasm before he’s even through the front door
*then Stiles and Derek go on to raise Eli, Stiles decides he doesn’t want to be in the FBI and instead opens up a private investigation business specialising in supernatural shit, they buy a house together, they fall in love, Noah has flashbacks to raising Stiles whenever he babysits Eli and Derek has a family that loves him*
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one more thing about the teen wolf movie, because i’m still not over how bad it was, and i’m taking these few things i liked:
there’s no evidence which would say that derek and stiles aren’t communicating together, on the contrary. when i watched this scene:
“you should be calling your son”, it sounds like a thing derek says more often, - possibly hearing it from stiles, (for my headcanon part - it could be that stiles and his dad had some small argument and aren’t speaking to each other, or avoiding talking.)
And later we even see sheriff's phone, where it seems the past few days hes been in contact with derek and other people, but there’s no stiles -
and that’s why it would be funny to think derek has to listen to both of their sides of their whatever-disagreement,
stiles would be every time like, “he still hasnt called”, so derek could be telling sheriff hes tired of his shit and “can you just call your son? not any fbi agents but specifically your son? thanks, yeah he will be visiting next week, im not gonna say more, you both need to sort it out, at least for eli, so you dont argue in front of him”.
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and another thing is the jeep, of course, the jeep.
which ofc, derek doesn’t hate it at all, and we find out in the end how much he doesn’t hate it.
(istill can’t believe this is a real line they said in the movie, but given what other things they’ve said and done in this movie, okay..)
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this part in 4x1 is probably the last thing i watched and remembered from the plot, so i will take it as stiles’ decision to never abandon the jeep, and how much it means to him, even with whatever happened in the other two later seasons:
like, tell me stiles knew he wasn’t going to be around in the town for a while bc of his internship, so he left it at home, thinking it will just.. stay there.
but derek thought otherwise - he wanted to keep it running, to fix it.
it’s like this important thing, the jeep, that connects their family, and now it’s eli’s, and derek is still annoyed about it (because he’s alive), but also amused that really that car is eli’s favorite thing just like it was for stiles (and just like derek in that metaphor, it won’t stay down, it keeps running, because again, derek is alive in this version, and everyone is happy and okay. ♥)
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