#That honestly whether a movie is good or bad is personal and relative to yourself and to what kind of movie it's trying to be.

[captainofthetidesbreath]

randomly, I'm just missing Roger Ebert very much

[blackstarising]

coming back to this post i made again to elaborate - especially as the ted lasso fandom is discussing sam/rebecca and fandom racism in general. there are takes that are important to make that i had failed to previously, but there's also a growing amount of takes that i have to, As A Black Person™, respectfully disagree with.

tl;dr for the essay below sam being infantilized and the sam/rebecca relationship are not the same issue and discussing the former one doesn't mean excusing the latter. and we've reached the glen of the Dark Forest where we sit down and talk about fandom racism.

i should have elaborated this in my last post about sam/rebecca, but i didn't. i'll say it now - i personally don't support sam and rebecca getting together for real. i believe what people are saying is entirely correct, even though sam is an adult legally, he and rebecca are, at the very least, two wildly different stages of life. for americans, he's at the equivalent of being a junior in college. there are things he hasn't gotten the chance to experience and there are areas he needs to grow in. when i was younger, i didn't understand the significance of these age gaps, i just thought it would be fine if it was legal, but as someone who is now a little older than sam in universe, i understand fully. we can't downplay this. whether or not you think sam works for rebecca or not, even despite the gender inversion of the Older Man Younger Woman trope, whether or not he is a legal adult, i don't think at this point in time, their relationship would work. i think it's an interesting narrative device, but i don't want to see it play out in reality.

that being said!

what's worrying me is that two discussions are being conflated here that shouldn't be. sam having agency and being a little more grown™ than he's perceived to be does not suddenly make his relationship with rebecca justified. i had decided to bring it up because sam was being brought into the spotlight again and i was starting to realizing that his infantilization was more common than i felt comfortable with.

sam's infantilization (and i will continue to call it that), is a microaggression. it's is in the range of microaggressions that i would categorize as 'fandom overcompensation'. we have a prominent character of color that exhibits traits that aren't stereotypical, and we don't want to appear racist or stereotypical, so we lean hard in the other direction. they're not aggressive, they're a Sweet Baby, they're not world weary, they're now a little naive. they're not cold and distant, they're so nice and sweet that there's no one that wouldn't want approach them, and yeah, on their face, these new traits are a departure and, on their face, they seem they look really good.

but at a certain point, it reaches an inflection point, and, like the aftertaste of a diet coke, that alleged sweetness veers into something a lot less sweet. it veers into a lack of agency for the character. it veers into an innocence that appears to indicate that the person can't even take care of themselves. it veers into a one-dimensional characterization that doesn't allow for any depth or negative emotion.

it's not kind anymore. it's not a nice departure from negative stereotypes. it's not compensating for anything.

it's patronizing.

it is important that we emphasize that characters of color are more than the toxic stereotypes we lay on them, yes, but we make a mistake in thinking that the solution is overcorrection. for one thing, people of color can usually tell. don't get it twisted, it's actually pretty obvious. for another, it just shifts from one dimension to another. people of color are still supposed to be Only One Character Trait while white people can contain multitudes. ted, who is pretty much as pollyanna as they come, can be at once innocent and naive and deep and troubled and funny and scared. jamie can be a prick and sexy and also lonely and also a victim of abuse. sam, however, even though he was bullied (by jamie, no less), is thousands of miles away from home, and has led a protest on his team, is usually just characterized as human sunshine with much less acknowledgement of any other traits beyond that.

and that's why i cringe when fandom calls sam a Sweet Baby Boy without any sense of irony. is that all we're taking away? after all this time? even for a comedy, sam has received a substantive of screen time over two whole seasons, and we've seen a range of emotions from him. so as a black person it's hurtful that it's boiled down to Sweet Baby Boy.

that's the problem. we need to subvert stereotypes, but more importantly, we need to understand that people of color are not props, or pieces of cardboard for their white counterparts. they are full and actualized and have agency in their own right and they can have other emotions than Angry and Mean or Sweet and Bubbly without any nuance between the two. i think the show actually does a relatively good job of giving sam depth (relatively, always room for improvement, mind you), especially holding it in tension with his youth, but the fandom, i worry, does not.

it's the same reason why finn from star wars started out as the next male protagonist in the sequel trilogy but by the third movie was just running around yelling for REY!! it's the same reason why when people make Phase 4 Is the Phase For Therapy gifsets for the mcu and show wanda maximoff, loki, and bucky barnes crying and being sad but purposefully exclude sam wilson who had an entire show to tell us how difficult his life is, because people find out if pee oh sees are also complex, they'll tell the church.

and the reason why i picked up on this very early on is because i am an organic, certified fresh, 100% homegrown, non-gmo, a little ashy, indigenous sub saharan African black person. the ghanaian tribes i'm descended from have told me so, my black ass parents have told me so, and the nurses at the hospital in [insert asian country here] that started freaking out about how curly my hair was as my mother was mid pushing me out told me so!

and this stuff has real life implications. listen: being patronized as a black person sucks. do you know how many times i was patted on the back for doing quite honestly, the bare minimum in school? do you know how many times i was told how 'well spoken' or 'eloquent' i was because i just happen to have a white accent or use three syllable words? do you know how many times i've been cooed over by white women who couldn't get over how sweet i was just because i wasn't confrontational or rude like they wrongly expected me to be?

that's why they're called microaggressions. it's not a cross on your lawn or having the n-word spat in your face, but it cuts you down little by little until you're completely drained.

so that's the nuance. that's the subversion. the overcompensation is not a good thing. and people of color (and i suspect, even white people) have picked up on, in general, the different ways fandom treats sam and dani and even nate. what all of these discussions are converging on is fandom racism, which is not the diet form of racism, but another place for racism to reveal itself. and yeah, it's uncomfortable. it can seem out of left field. you may want to defend yourself. you may want to explain it away. but let me tap the sign on the proverbial bus:

if you are a white person, or a person of color who is not part of that racial group, even, you do not get to decide what is not racist for someone. full stop. there are no exceptions. there is no exit clause for you. there is no 'but, actually-'. that right wasn't even yours to cede or waive.

(it's also important to note that people of color also have the right to disagree on whether something is racist, but that doesn't necessarily negate the racism - it just means there's more to discuss and they can still leave with different interpretations)

people don't just whip out accusations of racism like a blue eyes white dragon in a yu-gi-oh duel. it's not fun for us. it's not something we like to do to muzzle people we don't want to engage with. and we're not concerned with making someone feel bad or ashamed. we're exposing something painful that we have to live with and, even worse, process literally everything we experience through. we can't turn it off. we can't be 'less sensitive' or 'less nitpicky'. we are literally the primary resources, we are the proverbial wikipedia articles with 3,000 sources when it comes to racism. who else would know more than us?

what 2020 has shown us very clearly is that racism is systemic. it's not always a bunch of Evil White Men rubbing their hands together in a dark room wondering how they're going to use the 'n-word' today. it's systemic. it's the way you call that one neighborhood 'sketchy'. it's how you use 'ratchet' and 'ghetto' when describing something bad. it's how you implicitly the assume the intelligence of your friend of color. it's the way you turned up your nose and your friend's food and bullied them for it in middle school but go to restaurants run by white people who have 'uplifted' it with inauthentic ingredients. it's telling someone how Well Spoken and Eloquent they are even though you've both gone to the same schools and work at the same workplace. it's the way you look down at some people of color for having a different body type than you because they've been redlined to neighborhoods where certain foods and resources are inaccessible, and yet mock up the racial features that appeal to you either through makeup or plastic surgery.

it's how when a person of color behaves badly, they're irredeemable, but a white person performing the same act or something similar is 'having a bad day' or 'isn't normally like this' or 'has room to grow' and we can't 'wait for their redemption arc', and yes, i'm not going to cover it in detail in this post but yes this is very much about nate. other people have also brought up the nuances in his arc and compared them to other white characters so i won't do it here.

these behaviors and reactions aren't planned. they aren't orchestrated. they're quite literally unconscious because they've been lovingly baked into western society for centuries. you can't wake up and be rid of it. whether you intended it or not, it can still be racist.

and it's actually quite hurtful and unfair to imply that concerns about racism in the TL fandom are unfounded or lacking any depth or simply meant to be sensational because you simply don't agree with it. i wish it was different, but it doesn't work that way. i'm not raising this up to 'call out' or shame people, but i'm adding to this discussion because, through how we talk about sam, and even dani and nate, i'm yet again seeing a pattern that has shortchanged people of color and made them feel unwelcome in fandom for far too long.

coach beard said it best: we need to do better.

[arosexpositivity]

Et tu, aro blog? skeletalroses [dot] tumblr [dot] com/post/692970874729545728 (I hate that I have to vet every single individual reblog of this post but come on)

Link. Archival link.

Yes, et moi.

Your chosen examples of horror fandom aphobia were:

Reducing horniness is swagless

Disagreeing with the underlying sexual connotations of a myth is homophobic

Horror is about love

It's obvious to me that with the first and second, your intent was to communicate, "demanding sexual content and mocking people who do not produce sexual content for you is acephobic."

That it's the act of bullying that is the problem.

I agree completely.

But the delivery, especially later in the thread, contributes to the overall effect of saying it's the sex that's bad, not the cruelty.

For all that I am aro too, I am also a sex positvity blog. That means walking the line of BOTH making it very clear that anyone who harasses, insults or denigrates others for a disinterest in sex is an fucking asshole with no respect for consent, and making it clear that horniness is not actually a bad thing.

The profusion of "sexy queer monster stuff" in recent years does not even manage to overtake the mainstream fact of horror being a pathos driven genre dominated primarily by violence.

I am unbelievably sickened by violence, btw. I throw up watching marvel movies. My delusions are often triggered by psychological and fantastic horror, too. Horror's content is pretty fundamentally inaccessible to me.

I do not then turn around and make a whole thread about how that inaccessibility is an act of insidious anti-psychotic bigotry, rather than just a natural consequence of genre convention.

Instead, I go find the horror fans who make non-violent content, engaging with the genre through reviews, meta analyses, and fandom. Because not everything that makes me feel alienated is the result of bigotry. Sometimes, it's just a matter of having to say, "this space is not good for me, I'm out" and making your own or picking a new hobby.

Someone being horny over horror in public is not an attack on you.

Someone being insulting absolutely is, but... well, like I said. I am a fan of horror, an aromantic, and a relatively well studied queer theorist to boot. And I haven't seen nearly as much of those insults, as I have seen aggressive pushback against them.

This is not to say they aren't out there. Of course they are! This isn't the kind of commentary one makes up on a whim. That would be as absurd as you saying "I've never seen someone use 'horny' to mean big and sweaty" and thinking that means it doesn't happen.

But it does mean you can avoid them.

Honestly, though, the real issue I have with that thread stems from the last bullet point. "Horror is about love."

This is a notion I've seen circulate occasionally for years, but never dominate, and I haven't seen it dominate right now either. Maybe it is! Maybe my curation and avoidance have gotten so good that I'm echo chambering myself away from all that nonsense.

But even so, even so?

This recent fixation on "love" as being an axis of oppression makes me fucking insane. Absolutely frothing at the mouth with outrage.

It so obsessively and gleefully centers romantic love as the highest form of human interaction. Which, given that it's supposed to be describing my experiences as an aromantic, aplatonic, anarchic person, makes me want to strangle myself.

If you declare all "love" to be outside yourself, you aren't just furthering the association of "love" with "romance," you're actively trying to separate yourself from the rest of humanity. Not because "(romantic) love is what makes us human."

But because "love" is an umbrella term that contains many of the specific things that make us human: compassion, trust, forethought, passion for ourselves, each other, our arts, our world, the desire to know and care for something whether it is ourself or outside ourself.

And I'm sorry, but as someone who has spent their entire life being called a violent monster by my family for being aro and pscyhotic, pre-emptively attacked for my lack of Human Qualities Like """""love""""" because everyone knows Brown People Aren't Capable Of Higher Emotions?

I'm not fucking interested in people telling me how "love" is beyond my ability to fathom and that I cannot be interested in exploring the ways love interacts with horror.

I'm just not fucking interested in being told that for my own good, I need to sit quietly and stay chill when someone is shit talking everything from horniness to love in the name of "protecting me" from one of my own hobbies.

[jypbae7]

Could you do a breakdown natal chart for Kun from Wayv?

QIAN KUN - NATAL CHART

Kun was one the most requested I got which was a pleasant surprise!!❤️❤️

(Not claiming to be an expert this is just for fun please don’t take anything too seriously!) Hope this is helpful and that you enjoy it 🥰❤️

Personality: Capricorn Sun, Leo Rising, Taurus Moon, Capricorn Mercury, Capricorn Mars

Clearly a LOT of Earth sign placements but nicely broken up by the fire sign rising

Capricorn Sun has serious and long term plans for the kind of future they want for themselves and once they set out for it they seldom give up. Stubborn to a fault, but also consistent enough to actually persevere. They want the perfect job, reputation, partner, house, family, etc.

Leo rising is a bright, warm and outgoing personality. Lots of energy, creativity and flair. They enjoy having a strong core of friends that they feel understand and enhance their experience and effect on the world. Leo’s are known for being hardworking and as a fixed sign it offers a lot of consistency and determination. They are extremely devoted and loyal once they develop a bond and trust with someone. Though the passion can fizzle out quickly if they aren’t feeling the kind of attention and passion they want.

Taurus Moon is a very grounded person with more social charisma and approachability than Capricorns are known for. They also have a tendency to like bold styles, they have big dreams and goals and you’ll be surprised at how well they can attain them if they’re focused enough (Kun is a Capricorn Stellium so yes this boy KNOWS how to get shit done when it needs to be done) Taurus is also a fixed sign which along with the stubbornness everyone knows about also comes with patience and consistency making them really good leaders when added with their natural friendliness and perseverance

Capricorn Mercury indicates a strong preference for structure, somebody who tends to follow rules and feels uncomfortable breaking them. They tend to have authoritative energy and demeanor. Big ambitions and determination to succeed and excel in their chosen career. Spend more time thinking than they show with a generally very logical mind which can sometimes lead to a black & white perspective

Capricorn Mars - responsible, organized, secretly a thrill seeker, can come off as aloof or guarded when they are around new people or people who they really want to make a good impression on.

Relationships:

Non-Romantic Relationships: Capricorn Sun, Taurus Moon, Leo Rising, Capricorn Mercury, Capricorn Mars

Trustworthy and dependable - the “dad” of the friend group who everyone calls when they have something serious to deal with

Platonic love languages: acts of service and quality time - he loves spending time with people with shared interests especially music. Also loves going out to different places such as different trendy cafes, movie theaters, museums - you name it.

Likes other thrill seekers who push and motivate him to get out of his comfort zone

Sense of humor is a lot more childlike and playful than one would expect from his serious and strict side

Capricorn energy is NOT to be crossed or messed with. These are the ones who are calm af and calculated when angry - this is when you know you are screwed. When Capricorn is calm and collected while enraged, ohhh boy, do they figure out ways to hurt you in the smoothest and most effective ways without so much as lifting their finger. Spare yourself the trauma and DO NOT LIE to him no matter what.

Romantic relationships and preferences : Aquarius Venus, Capricorn Mars, Capricorn Juno, Aries Eros

Aquarius Venus is outgoing, friendly and charismatic. They are attracted to interesting and unique people who stand out of the crowd. They like bold and spontaneous gestures and they will do them back for their partner as well.

Aquarians also dislike overly clingy/needy partners which Capricorn also isn’t a fan of either. These signs are all about independence, individuality, personal expression and achievement. Meaning that while they do yearn for a partner (especially Capricorn placements) they want a partner who is self sufficient and independent with their own hobbies, careers, dreams, goals, etc.

Capricorn Juno implies they’ll be a tough to nail down for very long because Capricorn wants only the best of everything and they’re always busy trying to excel at things and scoping out their options. So you’ll have to prove your worth to them before they are willing to commit because once they do it’s for the long haul

Capricorn likes natural ethereal beauty while Aquarius likes the bold - my guess is healthy mix of both. Natural looking and soft featured with some bold/unique traits like bright/bold hair or fashion style, a bit of spice/sass here and there is another secret pleasure

Be prepared for endless serenades and songs made and sent to you like love letters - whether he’s singing or composing a warm ethereal instrumental for you, his whole heart is in it

Love languages (most to least) - words of affirmation, gift giving, physical touch and quality time

Words of affirmation makes him feel really wanted and needed, he’s also really really good at giving it out to people he loves so if he’s doing it one sidedly it would hurt him and make him feel insecure.

Gives either unbelievably beautiful luxe gifts or unique/fun gifts and loves to surprise his partner with them often especially after time apart

Capricorns HATE wasting time they are hyper aware of how many hours in a day and how much can be done in a day. So, if he’s spending a lot of time with you, you’re very very special and important to him and he prioritizes this time very highly

Star gazing dates, beach dates, camping trips - this man will go out of his way to make sure every date is an experience. He is PREPARED, he has an itinerary in his mind, he’s looked up the travel routes and picked the best one. When you go camping he will FLEX with his efficiency and ability to handle the labor heavy tasks. This man will purposely wait till you’re looking to start chopping wood (not that ANYONE is complaining), put the tent up and have it filled with blankets and pillows galore in 2.00034 seconds because he practiced in the dorm living room with the others like a drill routine. (Lucas taught him how to chop the wood & still look hot while doing it)

Is the MOST polite and endearing person to your family and friends. Goes above and beyond to be the perfect partner around your family and they are unable not to LOVE him. Is especially soft and doting of any children or elderly relatives. And none of it is phony at all, he doesn’t know anyway else to even think. Respect, manners, and family are extremely important to Earth signs. They’ll probably end up liking him more than you but honestly you can’t even blame them

(None of y’all ungrateful people better ever slack on Zaddy Kun’s visuals ever again!! If I don’t get to see his happy trail during 2021 I’m burning the SM building down once and for all)

18+ Preferences:

Aries Eros ooof - passionate, possessive and steamy. Pick their partners off instinct and energy - once they really like you they become infatuated and want to STAY that way. If it’s not the “I need you so fucking bad I’m gonna lose my mind” type of love they DON’T want it.

Leo Rising is a possessive as fuck placement thankfully when they get riled up or jealous they have the confidence not to get angry with you or insecure about it. BUT.... you‘ll still be awakening a whole new type of beast and quite frankly he will let you know that it’s all your fault as he holds you down and uses you like the stupid toy you are till you remember who you belong to

If he sees you doing anything even remotely domestic his Taurus Moon and Capricorn Juno will have his mind go from soft and warm thoughts to bending you over the kitchen counter and taking you right there without a care or second thought spared

Positions where he feels in in control are his favorite - he likes being on top of you, behind you and if he can pick you up and carry you while ramming into you best believe he will.

His favorite is position is missionary - likes to feel big and dominant he also wants to be able to see as much of you as possible and kissing you as much as possible from your lips to just about anywhere else he can reach. Will be staring at you 99% of the time with big smoldering eyes that don’t waver in the slightest. In fact if you give him eye contact back he’ll just be even more turned on

Now...this might be controversial but... Capricorn Mars usually suggests power play/dynamic kink - think rich powerful CEO who secretly fantasizes about being tied up and blindfolded. Not to say that is exclusively his main kink bc it’s definitely not, he is 100% mostly dom BUT with the right person he’d be more than willing and very excited to try it out - probably because they are always in control so it’s an adrenaline rush for them to relinquish it to someone else. Doesn’t necessarily mean an extreme level of being submissive even just simple restraints can feel very extreme for a bossy and in-control Capricorn

Aquarius Venus also likes breaking relationship “norms” and trying out new things. They are super fun and bright when happy so when he’s in love he’s in LOVE. Wants to sing about it 24/7 but is too stubborn to be clingy or needy. The type to smile during sex, especially when he’s on top of you or drunk. Don’t even get me started on drunk handsy Kun whining in your ear about how he just wants to sneak out of the party early.....bc I will genuinely never recover

Very vocal in the bedroom - gives his partner tons of praise. Completely loses his mind and is loud af when you kiss your way from his neck down to below the hips

Most of the time sex with him is more passionate than kinky, not lightening fast jack rabbit thrusts instead hard and deep rhythmic ones that make your whole body shake - Hungry makeout sessions, sneaky little hickeys where no one else will see, massages than turn into hours of love making, takes his time to hit deep and hard inside you, handfuls of your hair, gaspy whispers

When he is feeling more kinky it’s usually spur of the moment. In the car in the middle of a rainy night during a cancelled schedule or after an especially steamy date night where he decides to take you to a hotel afterwards

KING OF AFTER CARE (NOT up for debate) - cooks you an amazing meal afterwords or orders up a feast if he’s too spent to get up too, cuddled up in blankets watching a movie for the rest of the night afterwards.

[fantastic-bby]

House Sitter

Pairing: (F)Reader x Jaebeom

Word count: 10.8k

Genre: Fluff | Angst | Non-Idol AU | Mafia AU | Strangers to Lovers | Slow-burn

Summary: When Jaebeom moves into a new apartment, he knows that he should most likely make friends with the neighbours. He buddies up to his next door neighbour, offering her drinks while they talk on the balcony. When he needs to leave his home suddenly, he asks her to watch his home and his cats, eventually coming home to realise that his cats seem to have taken a liking to her. With more time spent away from home, Jaebeom designates his neighbour as his go-to house sitter without exactly explaining why he’s away so often...

Warnings: Guns | Mentions of the mafia | Murder | Attempted kidnapping 

Masterlist

“I’m Jaebeom.” You stare at your very handsome neighbour with wide eyes. Wow. You saw him moving in the other day, but since it was a passing greeting, you couldn’t actually see his face. You can conclude that he was much more attractive up close. 

“(Y/n),” you extend your hand when you’re snapped back into reality. 

“Well, (Y/n), I can assure you that I’m a relatively quiet person. Though, my cats do make some noise sometimes,” he chuckles. You wonder how a person’s chuckle could be as attractive as his. 

“Don’t worry about it,” you laugh. “As long as you’re not blasting music at 3 a.m. like the college students who live above us, I’ll be fine.” Jaebeom smiles and you swear you could fall in love with him right there and then. 

“I guess I’ll see you around then,” he retracts his hand, giving you a small wave before he disappears into the apartment right beside yours. You stay in the spot right outside your door, wondering whether you imagined that whole affair or not. You always hear about that hot, super attractive neighbour from stories or movies which made you assume your new neighbour would end up being a family just starting out or some college student since your apartment building was quite close to one of the campuses. But no. Your new neighbour was a very handsome and a very real person who just so happened to move in next to you. 

You step into your apartment and brush the thought off. You can’t just spend your time thinking or gawking at Jaebeom—that’s just weird. You spend your days as you normally do; waking up, heading off to work, having dinner and heading to bed. It’s a routine that you’re used to. Occasionally, you would head down to the 7 11 right beside your building to get ramen or chocolate when it’s 3 a.m. and you can’t sleep.

Though, your routine has changed slightly ever since Jaebeom moved in next to you. You find yourself greeting him whenever you’d see him; letting small talk fill up most of your conversations whenever you were in the lift together. There were a couple of times where he would knock on your door asking if you knew where certain places were around the area. You have the decency to keep your staring limited and subtle, watching him from the corner of your eye whenever you pretend not to notice him grabbing his mail from the mailbox which was right next to yours since his apartment number was right above yours. 

You open the sliding door to your balcony, your hands stuck into the pocket of your sweater as you step out into the cold. It was a long day at work and you wanted nothing more than to just wind down. Your balcony didn’t have the most luxurious view, but the 16th floor had a lot to offer from being so high up. It was a calming space; the sound of cars driving by and the faint sound of people chatting as they walk around the park right in front of you easing up your mind. 

“Hey, neighbour.” Jaebeom’s voice makes you turn to your right to see him sitting on the rattan chair of his balcony, a bottle of beer in his hand. He’s dressed in a black hoodie that looks like it’s definitely a few sizes too big, a pair of grey sweatpants. His feet are clad with a pair of white fuzzy slippers while one of his cats sits comfortably in his lap. 

“Oh, hey,” you greet softly. When you notice the siamese you tilt your head curiously, “aren’t you worried your cat might jump off of the balcony?” He looks down at his cat for a moment before shaking his head. 

“Nora doesn’t like high places. She avoids sitting at the edge of balconies or climbing onto the rails.” Jaebeom’s hand gently runs through her fur before he looks back up to you. “Do you have any pets in there?” 

“No,” you shake your head as you turn back to the view of the city. “I don’t think I have any space or time to care for them. I’d feel bad leaving them here while I’m at work.” You’ve thought about it before. The idea of having a pet just keeping you company was tempting, but you were away at work from morning until evening and you wouldn’t know what you’d do if something happened to them. “I do love them though,” you clarify as you take a seat on the metal chair on your balcony. “They look like good company.” 

“Well, my five make very good company,” he hums. 

“Five?” You turn to him in disbelief. “That’s a lot of cats for one man.”

“They seem to take care of themselves when I’m away during the day,” Jaebeom chuckles as he takes a sip from the beer in his hand. “Care for one?” He holds up an unopened bottle by his side. 

“Why not?” You move closer to his side and reach out, successfully grabbing onto the bottle and bringing it over to your side. “Watch this.” Jaebeom watches intently as you angle the bottle against the metal tops of the rails, swinging it down with just enough strength for the cap to pop off. 

“Impressive,” he praises as he claps. “Though, you could’ve just asked me for the opener since I have it right here.” Jaebeom raises the small metal bottle opener. 

“Bottle opener’s aren’t cool,” you huff, taking a swig from your bottle. You let the sour taste of the beer coat your tongue, the alcohol burning slightly as it goes down your throat. “Are you out here all the time?” you glance up at him. 

“Only on nights when I need to clear my mind,” Jaebeom shrugs. 

“Ahh.” You lean back in the chair, letting the silence settle between you two. There’s an occasional meow from his cat, causing you to glance over to see her stretching her paws out in front of her while Jaebeom gently pets her. 

“Do you want to go back inside already?” he questions softly. You watch Jaebeom put his now empty bottle onto the glass table beside him. “Nora’s getting a bit cold, I have to bring her inside.” He stands up slowly, gently cradling his cat in his hands. “Have a good night, (Y/n).” 

“Night, Jaebeom,” you wave at him as he disappears into his home. You look down at the half finished bottle in your hand, deciding to just chug the rest of it before heading into your own apartment. 

The knocking on your door makes you stir in your sleep. 

“(Y/n)! Wake up, please!” You pull yourself out of bed groggily, dragging yourself to the front door and swinging it open. Your eyes squint as they adjust to the light of the hallway. 

“Jaebeom? It’s like 2 a.m., what the hell?”

“Can you watch my cats, please? Just for a few days.” His voice sounds frantic. 

“What?”

“Please? I have some things I need to handle, so I won’t be coming home for a few days and I need to go now. I can’t call up the cat sitter because it’s too last minute and you’re the only person I know in this building,” Jaebeom explains frantically. “Please?” You let out a sigh before nodding. “Okay, yes, thank you! Here’s my number and my house keys,” he pushes the piece of paper and the set of keys into your hands. “I’ll text you all the details on how to care for them later.” 

“How many of them are there again?” you question. 

“There’s only five. They’re not that hard to care for. You just have to feed them and clean their litter tray.” 

“How long are you going to be gone?” 

“I’m honestly not sure. Just check in on them every few hours—you could honestly stay over at my place too if you’d like, I don’t mind. Give me a text and I’ll send you all the details. I’m so sorry that it’s last minute.” You barely have any time to respond before he’s dashing down the hallway. You blink a couple times before looking at the paper and keys in your hands. Deciding to not worry Jaebeom, you close your front door and move back into your bedroom to text in the numbers. 

(Y/n): Jaebeom…? [3:43] It’s (Y/n). 

Jaebeom:  Hey, again, sorry for pushing this onto you so suddenly. [3:45] You can live in my apartment for a while if you’d like too. The guest room is the one opposite my bedroom. [3:46]

You sigh before laying down, putting your phone aside. You’ll check what you need to do in the morning and when you’re not half asleep. 

Feed them twice a day. Odd’s on a diet so you have to feed her the food from the pink bag. Make sure she doesn’t eat out of the other’s bowls and be careful because she might try and steal your food.  

You stick the keys into the lock before pushing open his door, immediately being greeted with two cats—the siamese you recognised as Nora and a munchkin—staring up at you curiously. You pull your phone up to cross check the pictures Jaebeom had sent you with the cats just to be sure. 

“You must be…” you trail off as you scroll through your chat. “Cake.” When she meows in response to her name, you take that as affirmation. “Okay, I saw you the other day on the balcony, so I’m going to assume you’re Nora.” 

“Mrreow.” 

“I’ll take that as a yes.” You move into his kitchen, your eyes stuck to your phone as you navigate through his kitchen. “Okay…” you trail off as you stop. 

Cat food’s in the cupboard below the sink. They’re labeled with coloured tags at the top of the bags. 

Upon opening the cupboard, you immediately see the bags he was talking about. A blue sticky note is stuck on one of them and you pull that out, looking for the cat bowls that he said would be in the kitchen. 

I labelled the bowls so you would find them easily. 

You see the four bowls lined up neatly against the side of the fridge, all of them having small notes stuck to the side with letters scribbled onto them. N, C, K, O. “Okay, simple enough,” you mutter to yourself as you fill the bowl labelled ‘O’ with the blue tagged biscuits before switching out the bags to fill in the other cats’ bowls.

The sound of the biscuits hitting the bowl seems to be some kind of an alarm for the cats. They start filling the kitchen immediately. The one you notice must be Odd starts trying to steal the bites from the other cats, causing you to push her away. 

“Hey, hey, don’t do that,” you gently push her towards her bowl instead. She’s persistent which makes you turn to your phone for help. 

If Odd won’t eat from her bowl, bring her and the bowl in my bedroom and watch her until she finishes eating. She might throw up because she doesn’t chew her food properly. Slow her down if you don’t hear her biting down on her food. 

You slip your phone into your pocket and gently lift up the white cat in one hand, cradling her against your chest before picking up the food bowl with your other hand. You make your way towards the first door that you assume is the bedroom—glad that your assumption was right—and place Odd down at the door with the food bowl in front of her. You sit down on the floor beside her and pull your phone out of your pocket as you start scrolling through the list of things that Jaebeom had sent you to do.   

The food’s running out, so if I’m not back by the time it’s empty, go ahead and buy it. I’ll pay you back when I get home. 

You sigh as you lean your head against the door. You don’t usually house-sit or cat-sit for anyone, leaving you completely new with the idea of having to take care of someone else's home. When you realise the lack of crunching coming from the white fluffy cat beside you, you quickly pull her away gently. 

“Slow down, sweetie,” you mutter, running your hand down her back to calm her down. You wait a minute or two before letting her continue with her meal before turning your attention back to your phone. You run through the list a few more times, making sure you have at least the gist of it. 

You look up from your phone, letting your curiosity take over as you look around Jaebeom’s bedroom. His room is simply decorated, his bed messily made to show that he really was in a rush when he was leaving. His desk sits towards the left side of his room, right beside the window. Papers scatter the desk and a plant sits at the corner of it. You look through the list once again, wondering whether you have to care for the plant as well. 

The plant in my bedroom is fake. It’s just there for decoration lol 

You snort to yourself as you look away from your phone. You wonder what was so urgent that Jaebeom wouldn’t realise how long he would be gone for. That’s not your business though. You shake the thought out of your head, turning to Odd only to realise that she’s staring at you. You pick up the bowl while standing up and open the door, letting the white fluffy feline run out to greet the rest of her cat family. 

You look around the apartment, wondering whether there was anything else that you needed to do before concluding that you were done for the morning. 

There’s some stuff in the fridge that you can eat if I’m not home by Thursday. Better that someone uses them instead of me just throwing them away when I get back. 

You look through his fridge, checking the expiry dates to see which ones are closer to expiration. You hum when you see the packet of rice cakes that would expire in a day or two. You send him a quick text giving him the inventory of what you had found. 

(Y/n): Attached image (3) [21:24] ?

You realise that Jaebeom takes quite a while to answer messages, leaving you to just set your phone down on the counter while you continue going through his fridge. He has an abundance of alcohol which isn’t anything new for a man in his mid twenties who’s living alone. 

(Y/n): Attached image (1) [21:30] Am I allowed to? c:

Jaebeom: Go ahead. At least it’s a way for me to thank you for doing this :) [21:34]

If I’m not back on Sunday, a friend of mine is coming over to make sure everything’s in order. I hope that doesn’t make you feel weird or anything, but my cats are my babies and I wanna make sure they’re okay. 

It’s understandable that Jaebeom would have someone come over to check it out. Though, you do wonder why he didn’t just have one of his friends come over to house sit, but you don’t question it that much. After a few days of taking care of his home, you realise that it’s just more convenient since you’re his neighbour and you would be right there to take care of his cats without having to travel far. 

The doorbell rings and it makes you turn away from your laptop. You push yourself off of the couch and make your way to the door, opening it to reveal the man who you assume is Jaebeom’s friend. 

“(Y/n)...?” he questions. You nod. “JB hyung asked me to come and make sure his cats are okay since I live ten minutes away.” 

“I’ve been following the instructions he sent me a while ago and his cats seem happy,” you say as you let him into the apartment. You’re only aware of just how tall he is when he walks past you. 

“He’s not particular about things, so I honestly don’t think he cares about anything else other than his cats,” he snorts. He’s immediately greeted by Jaebeom’s cats, all of them recognising him immediately. “Hey, kitties, how are you?” he coos. “I’m Yugyeom, by the way.” He glances over at you and you nod. 

“Jaebeom didn’t mention a name. I assume because he knows I wouldn’t know any of his friends anyway.” You move back to the couch, picking up your laptop. “Do you know when he might be back?” Yugyeom hums in thought as he stands up, looking around the apartment. 

“He didn’t mention when he would, but he did ask me to tell you that if you do end up buying cat food, let him know and he’ll bank you the money,” he says. He walks into Jaebeom’s bedroom, leaving you to work on the couch. “Did you make JB hyung’s bed?” Yugyeom peeks out of the bedroom. You look up and nod. 

“I asked him if I could. It irked me since I have to bring Odd into his bedroom so she won’t gobble up the others’ food and he said I could,” you explain as you turn back to your screen. 

“JB hyung barely ever makes his bed,” he comments as he steps back out into the living room. “I think you’re doing a better job at taking care of his apartment than him.” 

“I’ve kinda just gotten used to being around here, so I started cleaning up like how I would clean up my own apartment.” Yugyeom spends more time walking around Jaebeom’s apartment before stopping in the living room. 

“I think that’s all I needed to do here,” he looks around the living room one more time before his eyes land on you. “Oh, I feel like I should mention this; JB hyung wants you to have my number just in case anything happens and you need some help.” You don’t question it as you pull your phone out and exchange numbers with the man. “Alright, so I’ll leave you to your own company. Just give me a call or a text if you need anything, yeah?” Yugyeom flashes you a smile before leaving the apartment. 

When Jaebeom steps into his apartment at three a.m., he half expects a mess and half expects that you would’ve taken care of his cats as well as Yugyeom said you did. He’s pleased when he’s greeted by the sight of his cats scurrying to greet him at the door, but he’s less so when he sees you passed out on the couch with your laptop on the coffee table. 

Jaebeom frowns. Didn’t he mention that you could use his guest room? He takes a step closer, realising that you must’ve passed out unintentionally. The soft glow of your laptop screen gives him a glimpse of your unfinished reports and he sighs softly. Grabbing a blanket from his room, he gently lays it over you before pretty much knocking out the moment he gets into his bed. He barely even feels his cats climbing into bed with him, all five of them missing his company for the week he was gone. 

When you wake up in the morning, your mind doesn’t even register that there’s a blanket on you until you feel it in your hands. You look around the apartment in confusion. You definitely didn’t have a blanket on you since you weren’t planning on staying in Jaebeom’s apartment that night. It’s only when you hear the snores coming from his bedroom that you realise he must’ve finally came home. The sound of you moving around seems to catch the attention of Koonta, the black cat padding through the open door of Jaebom’s bedroom and towards you. 

“Good morning,” you hum as you crouch down and pet the male. 

“Morning, neighbour,” Jaebeom’s raspy voice greets you. You look up from the cat to see him standing in the doorway of his bedroom, a lazy smile on his face. “Thanks for taking care of them for me. I’ll make it up to you somehow.” 

“I drank like two bottles of your beer, I’ll take that as you paying me back.” You stand up from the ground with a small smile. 

“Care to stay for breakfast?” His offer makes you hesitant. 

“I honestly feel like I shouldn’t…” you trail off. 

“You’ve spent a whole week taking care of my cats. It’s the most that I can do.” Jaebeom doesn’t wait for you to say anything before he’s heading into the kitchen. You watch as his other cats slip out of his room, chasing after their cat dad. “Could you feed them while I make breakfast?”

“Sure.” You do what you usually do, pulling the bags out of the cupboard and filling the bowls. “I’ll bring Odd into the bedroom.” 

“Oh, hold on,” he stops you. “Let me show you this.” Jaebeom crouches down in front of Odd and places his finger in front of her. “Your bowl only.” He lets her head to the bowl, but when she tries to reach for the others, he gently pulls her back. “No. Odd. Your bowl only,” he says more sternly this time. He holds his hand in front of her face for a moment longer before you both watch as she obediently heads straight to her bowl. You watch in awe as she focuses only on her bowl. 

“No way,” you breathe out a chuckle. “I tried doing that a few days ago and she refused to eat out of her bowl.” 

“She only does that when I’m here. My friends have tried doing it before too,” Jaebeom laughs as he watches his cats eat. “It doesn’t work unless I’m doing it.” 

“You are her father after all,” you quip, causing him to let out a louder laugh. You glance over at him, noting the way the outer corners of his eyes crinkle when he smiles. Jaebeom returns to making breakfast while you attend to his cats, watching to make sure Odd doesn’t try and eat out of her bowl. You’re surprised that Jaebeom was all it took for her to stop eating out of the others’ bowls. 

The rest of the morning is spent with you sharing a breakfast with Jaebeom, learning more about his life. His cats are all rescue cats. He says it's because he feels bad whenever he sees stray cats roaming around the area and his cat children are the result of him being unable to hold back when he sees them. 

“I feel like I should let you know that I might disappear a lot,” Jaebeom says as he takes his empty plate into the kitchen. 

“Is it work?” you question, following him with your own plate in your hands. 

“Yeah, it needs a lot of… last minute attention,” he nods. You refrain against asking him to elaborate more on it. It does, however, leave you wondering as to what he does that would need him to disappear often. “Thank you for taking care of my children,” Jaebeom glances over at how Koonta seems to be all over you. “I see that Koonta has taken a liking to you,” he chuckles. 

“He actually only started to warm up to me after Yugyeom came over.” You crouch down once more to pet the black cat. “Oh, I didn’t end up buying any cat food because I didn’t know when you’d be back.” 

“That’s fine,” Jaebeom reassures you. “Again, (Y/n), thank you so much for this.” 

“It’s no problem,” you wave it off with a smile on your face. “Just give me a heads up next time and maybe don’t come banging at my door at 3 a.m. next time.” 

“I’ll keep that in mind,” he laughs. 

“Just let me know if there’s anything else that you need help with. I’d be more than happy to help.” 

“Thank you, (Y/n). I’ll see you around.” 

“On the balcony again, huh?” Jaebeom smiles when you turn his way. If you’re being honest, you’re only on the balcony because he’s there. You notice that he usually spends his Friday nights drinking away on his chair while Nora sleeps soundly in his lap, Baire occasionally coming out before Jaebeom shoos him back into the apartment. 

“Yeah.” You lean against the metal rail and look out, letting the cold breeze hit your skin. The air is cold, but it isn’t cold enough that you don’t actually want to be outside. You honestly would rather be outside if it meant that you could spend more time talking to Jaebeom. 

“Here,” Jaebeom holds out an unopened bottle of soju which you take without much question since he would often share his drinks with you whenever you’d meet up. He glances over at you when he takes a sip of his alcohol, watching the way you unscrew the cap, your hand fiddling with the metal cap. The moonlight isn’t that bright tonight, but as the clouds move, the light slowly casts over your face and gives Jaebeom a clearer look of your face. He wouldn’t deny he’s definitely taken a liking to you, but he knows it’s dangerous if he does.

“How are the cats?” 

“Good,” he nods, taking a swig of his beer. “But I feel like lately they’ve been a bit more active. They seem to like having you around.” Jaebeom glances over at you as you chuckle. 

“They’ve really warmed up to me the last time I came over.” You bring the bottle to your lips, a small smile growing on your face. 

“I feel like Koonta might like you more than he likes me now,” Jaebeom quips, causing you to let out a laugh. 

“Does he?” You angle your body towards him, your amusement growing when you see his smile. 

“When I came home yesterday, he scratched at the door after you left—wanting you to come back or wanting to follow you out.”  A chuckle leaves his lips when he finishes talking, the bottle of grape soju in his hand raising to his lips. “Just take that as a sign that you’re now my designated house sitter.” 

“I personally don’t mind,” you hum, “you were right after all.” Jaebeom gives you a curious look; one that honestly matches the ones his cats give you. “Your cats make good company.” Jaebeom laughs at that, the sound sending warmth straight into your heart. A comfortable silence settles between the two of you once again. It was always like this. You’d come out onto your balcony, Jaebeom would offer you a drink and you’d chat or just sit in each other’s company until one of you would head back in. 

It wasn’t much of actually spending time with each other, but the both of you enjoyed it. Jaebeom would never admit out loud that he wanted you over more. He had thought about inviting you over for more dinners other than that night before when you were locked out of your apartment. He turns away from you to look at the sky instead. The stars are covered by the clouds, but Jaebeom’s able to catch a glimpse of them before turning back to you. 

God how he wishes he could actually ask you out without the constant fear hanging over his head. For the sake of your safety and his, he holds back. Jaebeom keeps the relationship platonic despite his want to be more with you. You’re simply his friend, his neighbour, and his go-to house sitter. 

Jaebeom: (Y/n) [3:00] Are you awake? I’m so sorry it’s so late

(Y/n): Sorry, I was doing work [3:05] What’s up? 

Jaebeom:  Watch the cats, please? [3:06] You can sleep in the guest room if you want

(Y/n): Sure [3:07] I’ll be over in like 5 minutes Let me get my stuff

“Baire, don’t scratch the couch,” you whine for the third time that night. The male simply stares at you before dragging his claws down. “God, Jaebeom is going to actually kill me—stop it!” You pull yourself off of the dining chair and make your way towards him. Upon seeing your approach, Baire runs away from the couch, making you sigh. “So, you know it’s a bad thing yet you still do it?” You cross your arms over your chest, watching as he scurries up the cat tower in the corner of the living room. 

Baire dives straight into the cat hammock at the top where Koonta is. The black male yelps at the sudden disturbance of the Russian Blue. “Little asshole,” you sigh before moving back to the dining room where your laptop is. Odd and Cake have made themselves comfortable on the dining table, curling up on both sides of your laptop while Nora rests on the chair beside yours. It seems that they’ve all gotten more comfortable with your presence. Rather than running away like he usually would, Baire is more playful around you. 

You also realised how Odd was slowly starting to listen to you whenever you’d scold her for trying to steal food from her cat siblings. The days that you spent taking care of them whenever Jaebeom wasn’t home was starting to show just why he loved them so much. They were all absolute bundles of joy that would just light up the apartment. You even found yourself spending your days when you weren’t at work over at Jaebeom’s place only to head back to your own to sleep. 

“Mreooww~” Cake mewls your way. You look up from your laptop to see her lazily watching you. 

“What is it, sweetie?” you gently nudge her face with your hand. She closes her eyes before laying her head on your arm while you continue working. Your phone buzzes beside you, making you turn to see a notification from Yugyeom. 

Yugyeom: Noona, how are you? [13:39] Wait, am I allowed to address you that way? 

(Y/n): You’ve been addressing me that way for the past month [13:39] Why ask now lol Baire won’t stop scratching the couch [13:40] Every time I try to move closer to him when he does, he runs away

Yugyeom:  Haha [13:40] JB hyung says he does that a lot

(Y/n):  Jaebeom would actually kill me if he found out Baire scratched up the couch [13:41] He said the next thing he loves more than his cats is his couch I don’t understand why That man is a mystery to me [13:42]

Yugyeom:  Don’t worry about it too much [13:43] He’s weird like that  I actually got some ramen somewhere nearby your building  I’m gonna drop some off for you

(Y/n): What [13:45] Nooooo Gyeom, it’s okay D:

Yugyeom:  Can’t stop me c: [13:46] I’m already in the lobby I’ll be at hyung’s apartment in like 5 minutes 

You stare at your phone, knowing well that he had only told you that now to stop you from stopping him. You put your phone down with a huff. Yugyeom had started dropping by more often to either check up on the apartment or to check up on you. Overtime, he had started just dropping by to talk to you, bringing along food or snacks for you. The more time you spend watching Jabebeom’s apartment, the more often Yugyeom would pop in unannounced. 

The knock on your door makes you lean back in your chair as you hear the door unlock, Yugyeom’s head peeking into the apartment with a bright smile on his face. “You know, you really didn’t have to bring me ramen,” you mutter as he steps in with a red plastic bag in his hands. 

“You mentioned that sometimes you skip meals because you’re working,” he hums as he places the bag on the table. “JB hyung also told me to make sure you're healthy too.” Your eyes widen in surprise. 

“Did he?” 

“Yep.” You watch silently as Yugyeom takes the packet out of the bag as well as the wooden chopsticks. “JB hyung’s like that. He cares for everyone around him, but he’s been bothering me extra over making sure you’re healthy.” He flashes you a smile. 

“O-Oh,” you sit upright as you let the thought settle in your mind. “Could just be because I’m caring for his cats, really,” you quip. Yugyeom laughs at that, taking the seat across from you that isn’t occupied by any cats. 

“Hyung may seem a bit mysterious at times, but he really does care for the people that he asks favours for. He’s like that. He always feels like he needs to repay people who help him.” 

“Is that why he keeps buying me food whenever he’s around?”

“Most likely, yes,” Yugyeom nods. “He likes to use food as a way to repay people. He might also take you to the bar a lot to buy you drinks.” 

“So that’s why he’s so chill about me taking his beer,” you lean back in your chair in realisation. 

“JB hyung lets you drink his alcohol?” There’s a bewildered look on his face. “JB hyung buys us drinks, but he never lets us take the beer from his fridge.”

“Really? I always ask him if I can and he always lets me,” you tell him. Yugyeom’s nose scrunches in confusion. 

“Maybe that’s his way of paying you back,” he simpers. “Eat up before your ramen gets cold.” You look down at the bowl, only them remembering that there was ramen in front of you. “How’s work been?” he asks as you start eating. 

“It’s the usual,” your shoulders raise into a shrug. “It’s been getting busier lately because we’re been trying to snatch up a few clients and they’re apparently really hard to convince sometimes. Since I’m part of the team that’s supposed to handle them, I have to do most of the reports and the planning for us.” 

“I’m pretty sure you’ll be able to get them in the end,” Yugyeom chirps. “I have faith in you, noona.” His encouragement sends a wave of joy through you. 

“Thanks, Gyeom.” 

(Y/n): I’m dropping by the pet store to get some cat food [20:01]

“You guys will be fine on your own, right?” You turn to the litter of cats watching as you pull your coat off of the counter. 

“Nyiaoooo~” Baire mewls. You check your phone once again, hoping to see a message from Jaebeom. When there’s none, you just assume he’s busy and slip your phone into the pocket of your pants. 

“Alright, I’ll see you guys in about an hour.” You slip your coat on and step out of the apartment, making your way down the building. The pet store wasn’t too far away from your building, making you opt to walk rather than taking any bus to save up on money. You dig your hands into the pocket of your winter jacket, huddling yourself further into your coat. When you approach the store, you’re pleased to see that it’s only started closing, meaning you have about ten minutes to run in and grab whatever you need. 

You step in, being greeted by the store clerk, though you’re sure they were hoping no one would come in at the last minute. You’re quick to grab the bags you need, paying for the cat foot before making your way out. “Why is cat food so heavy?” you huff to yourself as you keep having to adjust your grip on the two bags. 

You drop the bags when a hand suddenly grabs you and pulls you into an alleyway, hand clamped over your mouth. You’re shoved against the cold wall of the building, your eyes wide with fear as you stare at the man. 

“You work for that dickhead, don’t you?” he growls. Your body is frozen in fear as you stare at him. 

“Boss, we could probably get his attention if we bring her along,” the man beside him chuckles. There’s a handful of them behind him, watching you intently. 

“We could use you. Your pretty face could finally get his attention,” he lets out a dark chuckle before glancing at the other man. “Get the truck ready. We’re bringing her with us.” Before he can do anything else, the sound of a gun firing almost deafens you. You watch in absolute horror when you see the man behind him falling to the ground and into a pool of his own blood.

“Yeah right.” You look towards the streets and see Jaebeom. But there’s a gun in his hands. Jaebeom—your neighbour—has a gun in his hands and he’s not only shot someone, but he’s holding it to the man who was going to kidnap you. “Get (Y/n) out of here. I’ll take care of these bastards.” 

Hands are on your shoulders and you scream when the sound of another gun is fired. “Noona! It’s me! It’s Yugyeom!” the younger man frantically says. You turn to him with wide eyes. “We have to go.” He pulls you away before you can even say anything else, dragging you away from the alley with two other men. 

“Get her inside, I need to help Jaebeom,” one of them orders Yugyeom. The younger male nods, pulling you into a black van and closing the door. 

“BamBam, drive!” he yells. The van swerves out of it’s spot. Your mind barely has any time to process what has just happened. You stare ahead as Yugyeom’s hand runs up and down your back gently. There’s two other men in the van, one of them in the front with the driver while the other one sits behind you and Yugyeom.

“Here,” the one behind you hands you a water bottle. Your hands shakily reach out to it, giving him a nod of thanks. 

“(Y/n) noona, are you okay?” Yugyeom asks softly. When you try to speak, the image of the man from before is flashed across your mind, and suddenly, Jaebeom. Jaebeom enters your mind. Jaebeom, your neighbour who killed someone, is still in the alley. 

“J-Jaebeom…” you manage to stutter out. 

“Jaebeom hyung is fine,” he reassures you. “He has Jinyoung hyung and Mark hyung.” 

“H-He… shot someone,” you look up at Yugyeom. He has a conflicted look on his face as he turns to look at the man behind you.

“Yeah, JB hyung does that,” the man behind you says. You turn to him and he’s giving you a look as though he’s used to the kind of reaction you’re having. “We do that.” 

“W-What?” 

“He never mentioned what we did, huh?” Yugyeom sighs. “The reason why JB hyung kept having to disappear so often was because he would have to go under the radar or if we had ‘issues’ that we needed to settle.”  

“JB hyung will be fine,” the other man reassures you. “I’m Youngjae,” he smiles. 

“(Y/n),” you mutter out. “S-So, you guys k-kill people?” You look up at Yugyeom. 

“Only when we have to.” Your brain struggles to actually comprehend the thought. These men kill people. “We don’t kill just because we want to.” 

“We do it when we have no other choice,” Youngjae adds. You turn to him. 

“JB hyung only shot that guy in the alley because if he didn’t, they probably would’ve hurt you instead.” Yugyeom’s hand finds your shoulder, giving you a gentle squeeze, “you’re going to think it’s your fault, but trust me noona, it’s really not. Those guys have been trying to get JB hyung’s ass for the past three years.” 

“We’ll take you to a safe place. Somewhere you can rest.” You nod at that, your mind still struggling to process what had happened. The rest of the ride is filled with chatter among the four men. The man in front—who you had learned was Jackson—was constantly critiquing BamBam on his driving. 

“Dude, if you keep driving like that, you’ll end up killing everyone in the back too,” Jackson huffs. 

“Hyung, shut the fuck up before I kick you out,” BamBam glares at him. 

“Eyes on the road!” he exclaims. 

“I’ll drive with my eyes closed. Just you watch.” BamBam closes his eyes with his hands still on the wheel, the van swerving precariously. 

“Bam, open your fucking eyes and just drive like a decent human!” Yugyeom yells at him. The driver huffs as he complies. 

“It’s not like me crashing the van would do anything.” 

“With noona in here, it would.” 

“JB hyung would kill you if you got (Y/n) hurt,” Jackson snorts. 

“He would actually run you over,” Youngjae laughs. You look between them, your mind too scrambled to actually be phased by what they’re saying. You lean back in the seat beside Yugyeom, your head pressed against the window of the van. You honestly don’t know where they’re taking you, but they all say that it’s a safe place. The exhaustion starts to settle in your body, your eyelids fluttering close. 

Youngjae peeks over at you. “Why does JB hyung like her so much? He’s never really given much care to anyone else before,” he questions when he realises you’re asleep. 

“Is it because she’s his house-sitter?” Jackson glances from his seat in the front. 

“JB hyung just says to keep her safe,” Yugyeom shrugs. “He kept telling me to visit her whenever he was away to make sure she was eating enough and taking breaks.” 

“Does he have a crush on her or something?” BamBam snorts. “JB hyung only acts like this around someone when he likes them a lot. He wouldn’t just shoot a dude in the head in public like that if he didn’t.” 

Yugyeom turns to look at you, his heart starting to sympathise with you. You had been thrown into this situation just because you were taking care of Jaebeom’s cats. Now you had not only put Jaebeom in danger, but yourself as well. All because he had a soft spot for you. 

When you come to, you’re in a bedroom you definitely don’t recognise. You slowly sit up, looking around half drowsy and half confused. The events from before fill your head and you assume that the bedroom you’re in must be that safe place Yugyeom had mentioned the night before. The door opens slowly, light from outside slivering into the dark room. 

“You’re awake,” Jaebeom’s voice fills the room. You turn to look at him and nod slightly. “How are you feeling? Do you want anything to eat? Drink maybe? If you want to take a shower Jackson doesn’t mind letting you use his bathroom,” he rambles. 

“I’m fine,” you reassure him softly. He takes slow steps towards the bed, sitting on the end of it. You sit upright in the bed, waiting for him to say something. When he doesn’t, you stay quiet; letting the silence fill the space instead. 

“I’m sorry,” he finally says. “I’m sorry I roped you into this.” Jaebeom turns to you, his eyes holding pure guilt. “You can… you don’t have to watch my place anymore if this whole situation,” he gestures to himself, “scares you.” You stare at him for a moment without saying anything. You didn’t want to leave him and his cats all alone, but you weren’t exactly too keen on the idea that Jaebeom was in this kind of a gang. Hell, if he killed people when he needed to, what other questionable things has he done?! 

“I don’t know, Jaebeom,” you whisper out. 

“It’s okay.” You catch the way he swallowed thickly. “I’ll, uhh, leave you to your own space. If you need anything, the guys are outside.” 

“Okay.” 

“Get some rest, (Y/n).” Jaebeom gives you a small smile before stepping out of the room where his friends are, their attention immediately moving to him. 

“Is she okay?” Mark asks, glancing away from the TV to look at him. 

“She said she is. I didn’t want to intrude, so I’m just letting her do her own thing.” He takes a seat beside Mark on the couch, watching as the elder continues playing PUBG. 

“Hyung, if she leaves, who’s going to take care of your cats?” BamBam questions. 

Jaebeom turns to him and sighs, “I feel like somehow that’s the least of my worries right now.” Everyone’s heads snap towards him. Mark’s controller is tossed onto the couch while they all rush to surround him. 

“You’re more worried about (Y/n) than you are about your cats?” Youngjae gives him a bewildered look and the leader can only nod. None of them could believe that for the first time ever, Jaebeom was more worried about a person rather than his own cat babies. 

“I don’t know—I mean—Yugyeom can always check on my cats while I’m working. He’s the one who knows how to lay low anywhere,” he glances at the younger male, “but…” 

“But what?” BamBam presses. Jaebeom struggles to word it out. You were almost kidnapped all because of the soft spot he’s harboured for you in his heart. He knew he should’ve taken the extra step into making sure you weren’t wandering around on your own when word started to spread that he was closer to his neighbour. 

“I just like being around her. I don’t want to have to move again, but I know that if I don’t, then I’ll just be putting her in more danger.” Jaebeom’s words are soft as they leave his mouth. He really doesn’t want to have to pretend you never existed. He’s never seen his cats take a liking to someone so quickly like his cats did with you. Jaebeom’s also never seen someone so quick to offer to watch his apartment. He barely even spoke to you before asking you for help yet you still came by and took care of his home when he couldn’t.    

“Hyung, you haven’t…” Youngjae trails off. 

“Are you falling in love with her?” Jinyoung speaks up, his voice making everyone turn to look at him. Jaebeom inhales deeply as he looks at his friend before nodding slowly. 

“I think I am.” The air seems to change in the room as all of them realise why he kept asking Yugyeom to check up on you. 

“So, what do we do now?” 

“It’s all up to (Y/n) noona and whether or not she’s willing to still be involved with JB hyung,” Yugyeom points out. “If she doesn’t want to, JB hyung will have to move out again and pretend he never knew her.” 

“And if she does?” BamBam looks to Jaebeom. 

“Then we have to start keeping her safe too,” he mutters. “But, the fact that those assholes would go as far as trying to kidnap her so publicly just shows that they’re probably willing to go an extra mile just to get my ass to give them money.”

“Money that you don’t even owe them, might I add,” Mark scoffs, “they’re just being greedy little rats. I can’t believe they’re ballsy enough to risk their entire operation being blown just because they want you to pay up.” 

“Jackson,” Jaebeom turns to the man who’s too occupied with Youngjae’s dog to actually be listening to what’s happening. “Jacks.” 

“Huh, yeah?” he whips his head towards Jaebeom. 

“I have to head back home to check on my cats. Can you keep (Y/n) safe?” 

“Of course,” he nods. 

“I’ll head back with you. I don’t want anything happening just because you’ll be on your own.” Mark stands from the couch, smoothing down his shirt before moving to Jaebeom’s side. 

“In that case, I’ll just head home then,” Yugyeom announces as he stands. 

“I’ll drive you back,” BamBam offers. 

“Yeah, no, I’ll drive you back.” He raises his hand in front of his friend, giving him a look. 

“Fine,” he groans, pulling the keys out of his pocket and slapping it into Yugyeom’s hand. 

“Jackson, you’ll be fine on your own?” Jinyoung questions as he stands up, “I have some things I need to settle at the office.” 

“I’ll be fine. Worst comes to worst, I’ll just call you guys,” Jackson nods. 

“Hyung, I’ll follow you to the office,” Youngjae pipes in as he clasps the leash onto Coco’s collar. 

“If she doesn’t come out in a few hours, check up on her,” Jaebeom adds before leaving. Jackson bids his friends goodbye before locking up, moving into the living room to clean up. 

Meanwhile, you’re sitting on the bed, listening as Jackson moves around his home. You could tell from the sound of the front door opening and closing that they had all left. You let out a sigh and fall back into the bed. You didn’t want to leave Jaebeom all alone with his cats, but you were honestly frightened with what you had unintentionally uncovered. The biggest question at the moment is whether or not you could just look past Jaebeom’s profession. 

There’s a knock on your door that Jackson’s voice follows, “(Y/n)? Can I come in?” 

“Sure,” you call out, sitting up in the bed to see him peeking his head into the room. 

“How are you feeling?” He takes a seat at the edge of the bed, far enough from you that he isn’t invading your space but enough that he silently wants to offer you his company. 

“Tired. Confused. I don’t know,” you sigh. “I don’t know what to do.” 

“That’s okay,” Jackson reassures you. “If I were in your position I wouldn’t know what to do either. I don’t want to put any pressure on you or anything, but just know that Jaebeom would never do anything he doesn’t have to. He looks out for his own, but when the time comes, he has to do something. If he didn’t do what he did in the alley they probably would’ve killed you instead.” You stare at him, his words only adding to the stress in your mind. 

“Thanks, that totally helps me with a decision,” you roll your eyes sarcastically. 

“I mean, you don’t necessarily have to make a decision.” 

“I have to choose whether or not I want to keep in touch with Jaebeom.” Your fingers play with the soft fabric of the blanket that covers your legs. “I don’t want to pretend he never existed, but I’m scared of him.” Your legs instinctively curl closer to your body as you sit there, suddenly feeling more vulnerable. Whether it’s Jackson’s presence or the idea that Jaebeom scares you—you’re not too sure. 

“If you really want to keep in touch with him, then you have to push aside a few morals. But,” Jackson pauses, “I’d understand why you would choose the other option.” He continues to sit there for a while longer before he feels like he is invading your space. “I’m gonna go take a shower. If you need anything, my bedroom’s right beside yours.” He lets out a soft grunt as he stands up from the bed. 

“Thanks, Jackson.” You manage to offer him a small smile. “Thank you for letting me stay over too.” 

“We can’t let you head back to your place since those guys might be lurking around your building. Plus, Jaebeom probably wouldn’t let you out of his sight unless your safety is guaranteed,” he chuckles as he leaves you to your own company. Your eyes move to look at the wall instead, letting the options weigh in your mind. You let out a frustrated sigh when your mind once again reaches a dead end, hanging your head as you think through it once again. 

It’s either you leave him or you stay. 

“Thanks for the ride, Jackson,” you turn to him with a small smile. 

“Don’t worry about it. Just let me know when you’re up there so I know you’re safe.” You give him a nod as you step out of his car. Making your way up to your apartment, you stop outside of Jaebeom’s door. You made a decision. You want to stay. Jaebeom is worth the trouble. You press the doorbell, hearing it ring from within the apartment. When there’s no answer, your shoulders sag slightly before you decide to just head into your own home. 

(Y/n): Hey [12:00] Jackson just dropped me off I’m home now

You switch to Jackson’s chat, sending him a quick message before placing your phone onto your counter. You hadn’t showered while spending the night at Jackson’s place since you didn’t have any of your own clothes, so you make your way into your bathroom first. Stepping out, you check your emails to see if you had missed anything important before your phone catches your eye. When there’s no notification on your screen, you open Jaebeom’s chat once again. 

Pending

You tilt your head curiously, wondering where he would be. Your messages would typically go through. If he was in hiding any time when you were watching his apartment, they would still be sent immediately. You place your phone back onto the counter, thinking that maybe it just needed more time to go through. You go on with your day, finishing up whatever work you had with your phone sitting beside you as you waited for any kind of a message from Jaebeom. 

When your phone dings, you check it immediately. You’re slightly nervous when you see the long message from him. Then, your heart drops. You shoot from your couch, almost knocking your laptop off of the table in the process. You pay it no mind as you grab Jaebeom’s extra key off of your counter. You step out into the hallway, turning to look at his front door.

“No, no, no, no,” you repeat as you jam the key into the door and turn the lock. You burst into the apartment and you stare at it in disbelief. 

It’s empty. 

Your chest tightens, tears welling in your eyes and your throat feels like it’s suddenly dry. There’s no sign of anyone living there at all other than the marks of where his sofa was supposed to be. How the hell did he move out so quickly? And how did it happen overnight?! You rush into his bedroom—empty. You move to the guest room—empty. Even his old chair on the balcony is gone. Everything was gone; Jaebeom was gone. Tears fall freely down your cheek. You don’t even know when you started crying. 

How could he just leave like that? He didn’t even wait for you to say anything. You fall onto the ground, looking around the empty apartment. There’s the faint smell of what you can only describe as cat fur lingering in the air. “What the fuck?” you breathe out in between sobs. Your phone dings in your hand once again. 

Jaebeom:  I’m sorry [19:17] But you’re not safe around me I can’t risk you getting hurt  Thank you for everything.

2 years. 2 years was how long it took before you finally felt okay. Add another year to that and you had almost stopped thinking about Jaebeom completely. Of course, his memory remains etched in your mind forever, but you slowly started to push past it. After coming to terms with the fact that he was actually gone, you felt less restrained by the thought of him. Though, you did start to feel more anger than you did sadness. The fact that he left so suddenly without anything else made you upset. Were you that easy for him to just let go? 

You had moved out of your old apartment, realising that the building itself was reminding you of him too much. You had enough money to find an apartment closer nearer to where you worked, making it easier for you to actually get there compared to the previous 45 minute train ride. This apartment was only ten minutes away by foot, making it easier for you to get around without much worry with time. 

“Welcome back,” the elder woman greets you politely. “Luna is waiting for you in the playroom.” 

“Thank you, Mrs Park,” you give her a warm smile as she lets you into the back room while handing you the dog harness. Upon your arrival, your black Dobermann happily greets you. The dog was large, but she was a total sweetheart. “Hey, sweetie,” you giggle as she tries to climb up your legs despite her large size. “Let’s go home, yeah?” You slip the harness onto Luna, clipping the leash onto the back before leaving the dog café. 

It’s easier for you to leave her somewhere where you know she’s getting the attention she needs, but her presence makes you feel more secure. After the whole incident with you almost getting kidnapped, walking around on your own just didn’t feel as safe as it used to; especially at night. With Luna by your side, at least you felt protected. The Dobermann is also the perfect housemate. She happily runs around the apartment, livening up your home. You honestly miss the environment of Jaebeom’s apartment with his cats, deciding to finally get your own pet after a whole year of debating. 

“Mummy needs to stop by the pet store for a moment, okay?” you glance down, seeing Luna look up at you and letting out a soft bark in response. You chuckle softly as you pull her into the store, walking around with her following attentively. While the dog café did offer a daycare for your companion, it didn’t sell the dog food you would usually get for Luna. When you step out, your eyes are glued to a packet of treats in your hand as you read through the recommended servings for a dog the size of yours. You look up at the feeling of eyes on you and your whole body freezes. 

There he is. 

Jaebeom stands in the park across the street, seemingly in disbelief that he’s seeing you as well. He’s frozen in his spot as he stares at you. The packet in your hand slips out of your grip, your lips parting in disbelief that you were actually seeing Jaebeom. Your hand lets go of Luna’s leash when you break into a sprint. You’re lucky the light was green, meaning you weren’t putting yourself in danger as you mindlessly ran towards him. Forgotten feelings fill your mind the closer you get to him, tears filling your eyes the nearer he gets. Even with the sun long gone and the moon taking its place in the sky, you know it’s him.

You’re full on sobbing by the time you throw yourself into him. Jaebeom stumbles backwards, falling onto the ground from the sudden impact. It takes a moment before he realises it’s actually you in his arms. He wraps his arms around you, pulling you tightly against him as you cry into his chest. His own wall breaks. All the feelings that he had locked away in an attempt to forget you filling his entire being as he holds you in the middle of the park. Jaebeom’s grip around you tightens when his eyes well with tears, his face burying itself into the crook of your neck. When he imagined being able to hold you, he never thought it would be after years of disappearing from your life. 

“You asshole,” you choke out, your fists weakly hitting his chest. There’s anger in your heart from him leaving without even talking to you, your hands punching at his chest as you pull away. “You fucking asshole!” you sob out, your hands moving to cover your face. Jaebeom reaches out once more but you push him away. “You just left! Without even asking me what I was going to do!” You throw your hand against his chest once more. “I wanted to stay with you, you piece of shit!” When you swing your hand towards him again, he catches your wrist. 

“I know,” he mutters as he catches your other hand, holding your wrists to stop your actions. “I know, (Y/n).” He pulls you into his chest once more. “I know. And I’m sorry,” Jaebeom holds you tightly as though he’s afraid of you disappearing. Your fists grip his hoodie tightly, as you continue to sob against him. “I’m sorry, (Y/n). I’m so fucking sorry.” His voice cracks towards the end of his sentence as he shuts his eyes. “I should’ve waited for you. I’m sorry.” 

“Where have you been this entire time?” you sniffle against him. 

“Here and there,” Jaebeom hums as he rocks you back and forth gently. “Trying to hide—trying to get by with having my cats stay at Jinyoung’s place while I constantly move around. I realised after a while that I really missed our talks on the balcony.” 

“I miss those too.” 

“I also realised that I miss seeing you in the hallway when I’m checking the mail. Or when we get home around the same time. I miss seeing you whenever I’d come home and see you asleep with Cake and Koonta curled up by your side whenever you’d pass out on the couch.” Jaebeom takes a deep breath as he pulls away from you to look into your eyes. “I’ve missed you.” Your bottom lip trembles as more tears start pouring from your eyes. “And I’m seriously so fucking sorry, (Y/n). I’m sorry for leaving out of nowhere. I’m sorry for putting you through all that trouble and then just disappearing. I’m… so sorry.” He pulls you back into him, his body gently rocking back and forth to try and help you calm down. 

You stay in his arms for a bit longer, simply basking in his warmth. You had always wondered what Jaebeom’s hugs would feel like. Now that you’re actually feeling it, you love it. It’s comforting, calming. He holds you like you’re made out of glass, a gentle yet firm touch. You feel safe. Jaebeom’s embrace is comforting enough that you’re no longer crying—your previous sobs resolving down to sniffles. 

“Hyung!” A familiar voice calls out, making you both pull away to see Yugyeom approaching the two of you from the streets. “I found this dog and—” he stops talking when he sees you, his eyes widening immensely. “Noona!” Yugyeom drops the leash in his hand and wraps his arms around you, lifting you into the air. You let out a surprised yelp at the action, but Yugyeom’s still tall enough that your feet dangle freely while he hugs you. “I thought I’d never see you again!” He places you onto the ground after a moment with the biggest smile on his face. 

“Yeah, I thought so too,” you chuckle as your hands rest on his forearms. “I just saw Jaebeom across the street. I didn’t think I’d see him ever again either.” You turn to look at Jaebeom as he brushes his pants off. 

“I honestly wasn’t expecting you to be here at all. I was just wandering around with Yugyeom because I felt stressed from work,” he smiles. You feel a nudge on your hand, your attention moving to Luna; whom you had honestly completely forgotten about. 

“Oh my god! Luna!” you gasp when you remember that you have a dog. 

“Is she your dog?” Yugyeom questions. “I saw her wandering around on her own. She had a leash so I assumed her owner must be around here somewhere.” 

“You got a dog?” Jaebeom asks, his attention moving to the large dog that sniffs around the two men curiously. 

“Yeah, after the whole… incident… I didn’t feel so safe walking around on my own.” You watch as Luna gets more and more excited the more she lingers around them. “I also missed having pets around. I think maybe those few months spent watching your cats really made my own apartment feel lonely.” The corners of Jaebeom’s mouth slowly lift into a smile. You feel your own heart easing up. “Are you guys busy? Maybe we could head back to my place and get a drink?” your suggestion makes Yugyeom nod, glancing over at Jaebeom before leaning towards your ear. 

His hand covers the side of his face to stop Jaebeom from reading his lips, “Jaebeom hyung’s been really upset over leaving you.” He pulls away with a cheeky smile on his lips. “I should head back and make sure JB hyung’s cats are okay, so you two go ahead.” You can’t contain your smile as it grows when you turn to look at Jaebeom. You extend your hand towards him. 

“Care for a drink on my balcony?” Jaebeom lets out a soft chuckle, the memories from years ago flooding his mind. 

“Sure.”

[falloutjay]

Stan x worried reader where reader comforts Stan and tries to make him feel better. Never giving up on him and even having to be forced away from him, that's how worried she is. Stan sneaks into her house when her parents are out and thanks her for trying so hard and they cuddle 💕

First of your requests done! Im kinda happy how it turned out and I hope you enjoy it as well. Cant wait to get to the more detailed one, but that one will take a little while longer. 😚 

_____________________________________________

Stan Marsh x worried!Reader

You stare at him.

Your eyes scanning him up and down but never leaving him. Maybe you should pay attention to what is written on the board, but you honestly couldn’t care less. This stupid math bullshit didn’t matter anyway.

Nothing did.

All that mattered to you sat in between Kenny McCormick and Kyle Broflovski in the row in front of you. Stan Marsh, your boyfriend, and also the person that was constantly on your mind. But not in a good way, like you’d normally think of your boyfriend.

You worried a lot about him, and it made you insane that seemingly no one else did. Not even his super duper best friend forever Kyle.

Did no one see the sadness in his eyes? How his smile faded whenever he thought no one looked? Were they all blind?

You weren’t blind. You saw through his façade. And you were determined to make sure he will feel better, no matter what was bothering him.

 You stared at the message on your phone. “Where are you? I thought we wanted to hang out for a while before you go?”

A deep sigh escaped your lips. Hesitantly, you typed; “Sorry, family emergency. Can’t come.” And pressed send. It hurt you to just lie to your friends, but you had to. You could see Stan slacking at his beloved Football training, so it only confirmed your suspicion, that something was up.

He seemed unfocused, messing up throws, the ball slipping his hands or stumbling sometimes. His thoughts weren’t here at all.

You watched him play and sat through the whole training. It sure bored you, but it didn’t matter. He mattered. And that’s why you sat there for two hours. You didn’t even sit with some of the other people watching. Now you were waiting for Stan in the hallway, waiting for him to come out of the locker-room.

You saw Clyde and Craig come out, and they gave you a quick wave, smiling at you. You did the same, but your eyes were still glued to the door, waiting for a certain black haired.

When he finally came, he seemed surprised to see you. “Y/N, you’re still here? I thought you only stayed for training?” Stan questioned, that fake smile you hated so much resting on his face. “Nah, I wanted to spend time with you. That ain’t a crime, is it?” Stan shook his head and took your hand.

You two wandered through the school and finally got to the parking lot, where Stans small car stood. It was of course plastered with Tegridy Farm advertisement.

You were happy that Stan didn’t have to wear his 100%-Hemp-Shirt anymore. You hated that one so much.  

To your surprise, you spotted your parents car and your mother not too far away. “There you are!” She called out and you stood there frozen in place.

“Hello Stan!” She greeted your boyfriend when she came over and looked at you sternly.

“I send you a thousand messages and called you endlessly. Why didn’t you answer?”

“Phone was on mute, sorry.” You mumbled, genuinely embarrassed. 

“Doesn’t matter, it is fine, your Grandmas Birthday dinner is tonight, did you forget about it?”

This hit you like a ton of bricks. You really had forgotten it. You were so busy with worrying about Stan that you forgot your favorite Grandmas birthday. Your mother immediately could tell by your expression what was going on and let out a sigh. “Well, I’m just glad I had a hunch where you could be. Come on, we need to get home and get ready. We will be in Denver until Sunday.”

“But-” You wanted to protest.

You felt conflicted. You loved your grandma and those amazing food-tastic weekends in Denver. And yet there was Stan and your ever growing worry…

“I-…Can’t I stay here and skip one time? I wanna stay with Stan!”

Stan looked at you surprised. He knew how much you loved going to your Denver-Grandma. You always told him about the amazing food she makes and the money she secretly gives you.

“Hun, it’s okay, you can go. We can hangout next weekend.” He said, giving you a peck on the cheek. You shook your head.

“No. I don’t want to.”

“Y/N, come on, we don’t have time for this. We need to get home.” You mother said, taking your hand.

“But-”

“No but’s, come on now.” She sounded a little annoyed and you looked at Stan with a horrified expression.

“But I need to stay with Stan.”

“Y/N, you see him every day basically. You’re gonna go to Grandmas, whether you like it or not.” Stan simply gave you a smile, waving goodbye.

“I’ll text you when I can okay?” You called out, while your mother basically dragged you to the car.

“Don’t worry about it. I can wait!” Stan replied and went on his way to unlock his car.

 The TV was almost annoying at this point. What were you even watching? A quick glance told you, that Family Guy was on.

Cartman better not hear of this.

You turned around, laying on your stomach, hoping you would not die of boredom in a few minutes. Stan wasn’t replying to you, as he was helping his parents with something apparently. You came back from your Denver Grandma adventure just a few hours ago.

The weekend wasn’t bad at all, you actually had fun and a great time with some of your relatives. But yet Stan didn’t leave your mind and you were sure, some people could tell you weren’t happy.

And you turned again, now laying on your back again. You just keep turning every few seconds, waiting for something to happen, yet nothing did. All of a sudden, you hear a bang.

Confused, you turned your head and looked at the direction at the noise. It seemingly came from the window. You felt scared. You were home alone, your parents out for dinner and you were left alone. You watched too many horror movies and murder mystery shows for your own good and millions of possible scenarios began racing through your head.

Carefully and trembling, you scooted closer to the window and looked outside. There in the drizzle stood Stan, throwing small rocks at your window. You opened the window, still utterly confused.

Somewhat swiftly, Stan began climbing up to your window, using the growth support for your mothers’ roses. Once inside, he smiled widely at you.

“You do know you could have just rung the doorbell? My parents aren’t home.” You said while deadpanning.

“Oh. I didn’t know. I’m here now anyway, so who cares.” He laughed and hugged you tightly.

“Are you alright, Y/N?” Stan asked with genuine worry in his voice. “Me? I could ask you the same thing!” You exclaimed, waiving your hands around. “Why? I’m alright?” This just pissed you off.

“Seriously? I’m no fucking Kyle, Kenny, or Eric! I see that something is off. I see that something is going on inside you.” You poked his chest and continued your rant. “I’m not an idiot and care about you. For fucks sake. Sorry for cursing but you just won’t tell me what’s going on!”

You finished and took a deep breath, feeling relieved now that you spoke your mind. Stan was taken aback, holding his hands up in defense.

“Jeez, sorry for making you worry. I’m really alright. I was just bothered by some shit my idiot dad spoke about. He keeps talking stupid shit when he’s high with Towlie, shit like me having to take over the farm when I’m out of high school, so that he can become a “Weed-Grandpa”. That’s all, it’s nothing serious, I promise.”

Stan offered a hug to you and after a few seconds in which you thought about what he said, you went straight into his arms.

“You will tell me if there’s actually something going on, right?” “You will be the first one to know, babe. Thank you for caring so much about me.” You nodded, now feeling more relieved than ever.

“I’m sorry, for not telling you about the shit my dad said. I didn’t know it affected you this much.” A smile crept onto your face. “Please don’t actually tell me that shit your dad says when he’s high, I swear, he’s so weird sometimes.”

“Agreed.” Carefully, Stan navigated you to your bed and you two made yourself comfortable.

“For how long are you gonna stay?” You asked him, while you cuddled up to him. He pressed a sweet kiss onto your forehead and whispered:

“For as long as you need me.”

[taegyuun]

road trips and headphones 𖧵

pairing: kang taehyun x gn!reader

genre: enemies to lovers, fluff

i.

“why do i have to sit next to him?” you whined loudly into soobins ear. “because that’s how the roulette figured out our seats, deal with it y/n.” he let out a chuckle at the end of his sentence at your so called ‘misfortune’. you and the rest of the boys wrote your names on separate pieces of paper that you drew out from a hat which consequently decided your places in the two cars, soobin driving one and yeonjun the other. heuning kai, yeonjun and beomgyu ended up together in the first car that carries most of the luggage. you, soobin and unfortunately for you, taehyun in the other.

you had all decided to go on a mini road trip to a theme park near a cottage your family had saved for you, as a break from the stress of school and their idol lives. you and the boys had been friends since toddler days and even if you and taehyun didn’t get on very well, you loved each and every single one of them very dearly.

unknown to you, taehyun and you never got on. whether it was arguing about what movie to watch or competing in school, the two of you were always at each other’s necks without a break.

“why can’t i sit in the front? it’s not like we have a whole car of people going, there’s space there,” taehyuns voice breaks you out from your trance as you look inside the car. in the passengers seat next to soobin were bags and a few snacks in place making you realise he wanted the two of you in the back. “look... taehyun. hes clearly wanting us as far away from him as possible,” you take a pause in your sentence to glare over at a happily smiling soobin, “so looks like we’re just going to have to deal with each other for the 3 hours journey ok? don’t make it harder for me than it already is,” you stop speaking and go to grab your bag but a voice stops you.

“what do you mean ‘make it harder for you than it already is’? how can i make a single journey difficult?”

“taehyun, you know what i mean.” you say with boredom laced in your voice.

“oh i honestly don’t, y/n. please! enlighten me!” the sarcasm was dripping from his words. you turn around to look at him, only to be faced with a small smirk on his cherry lips, eyes glistening with delight. when he looks at your face, he sees you seething with anger, only making him chuckle more.

“y’know what, i’m not bothered to deal with your shit right now. just get in the car, ok?” you glare at him one more time, even more pissed off than before after seeing his smile grow on his god given face. another reason why kang taehyun got on your nerves, was his stunning looks. not only was he academically gifted, but physically he was impossible to miss. his strong, tall body and sharp features were definitely a sight for sore eyes. the only reply you hear is quiet laugh and a “c’mon on,” from soobin.

you divert your eyes from your suitcase after you hear a horn from the other car, you see that they were all already inside and waiting for the rest of you to pack and get onto the road. you shove the last of your belongings in the boot of the car and open the back door. once you hear the satisfying click of the seatbelt, you take out your headphones and turn on your music, leaning your head against the window, preparing yourself for the 3 hour drive. you feel a tap on your shoulder and turn your head. “oh holy mother of- what on earth are you doing?” you say after you’re faced with taehyun, a tad too close to you for it to be comfortable. “and why are you sat right next to me? theres 3 seats back here not 2!”

“ahh my sweet y/n, well you see- as i was getting in the car and you were pretending to be in a sad music video, soobin shoved the rest of his luggage on my seat, so looks like i’m gonna have to sit right next to you. i’m sure you won’t mind, look how pleased you look to see me,” he childlishly pokes your reddend cheeks that warmed up after hearing him call you “my sweet y/n”. you weren’t sure why your body reacted the way it did, but you sure didn’t like it. “ugh fine just don’t bother me ok?” your mind was too fuzzy to retaliate with something witty.

“bother you? pffft as if i ever do that,” the large smile never left his lips.

ii.

“hey y/n! y/nnnnn.... y/n don’t ignore me,” for the past 10 minutes all you’ve been hearing is taehyun say you’re name in various different voices and poking at your side and shoulder. one thing you didn’t really understand about the said person was, that no matter how competitive you two were, or how much you argued over meaningless and petty things, he was always relatively nice to you. and one thing he definitely did, was tease you.

“what... taehyun?” you say as you take out one of your headphones and turn your head to look at him, boredom drawn all over your face. “at least make an effort and seem excited to see me,” you paid his words no mind and looked forward to soobin, only to see that he was 100% focused on the road, not even sparring you and taehyun a glance. just as you were about to place your headphone back in your ear, a warm hand encased your wrist. “hey- hey now, lemme see what you’re listening to,”

“why do you wanna know?” you ask him slightly confused, yet show him your phone screen with the song playing on the front of it, “can we share? i forgot to bring mine and i don’t want to disturb soobin with my music,” your eyes scanned over his face and momentarily stop at his eyes. even though it was only a few seconds that you stared into his, it felt like a lot longer, “uh.. y/n? you good?” he gently clicked his fingers in front of your face,

“huh what? oh uh- y-yeah sure,” you hand him one of the earphones as you hear a gentle thanks and look away, feeling your face heat up once again.

iii.

“hey taehyun?” soobin calls out from the front, quickly glancing back only to find you asleep and taehyun looking out the window.

“hmm?” he hears a reply, “y/n looks a bit uncomfortable, move her neck so they won’t be be cranky once we get there, and uh- were about an hour away,” he informs the boy and then returns his focus on the road.

taehyun looks over to his right at you and sees your neck bent back and over the seat, it doesn’t look very comfortable and he knew that if he woke up in that position, he wouldn’t be very happy. his warm hand gently takes your face as he places your head on his shoulder. as he does so, he hears you let out a sigh of comfort and gently move your body to cuddle up to his warmth more. his cheeks lightly heat up with a baby pink blush as he leans his head against yours, and closes his eyes. just as he was about to fall asleep, he feels one of your smaller hands grasp onto his larger one and shove your face further into his neck.

maybe this road trip won’t be as bad after all.

[chaseatinydream]

sly san who sacrifices (ii) || c.s (atz)

➳ pairing: reader x choi san (ateez)

➳ word count: 2396

➳ genre: badboy au; fluff; angst

➳ synopsis: to the school, he may be a bad boy, the worst of the worst, but to you, he’s choi san, father of three cats, your best friend and ultimately, the boy you’re in love with.

>>>

The second you step out of the car, you can already hear the mewing of cats.

“Yobu!” You laugh as the tiny grey ragdoll leaps into your arms, fingers brushing its fur back. The tiny feline lets out a content mew and you press a kiss to its adorable nose. You love all of San’s cats, having helped him in taking care of each and every one of them, but you have a soft spot for Yobu in particular. After all, he’s the cat that had allowed you and Seonghwa, one of San's friends, to meet.

San looms up behind your shoulder.

“Yah, Yobu, that’s my friend, not yours.” He scolds the kitten sternly and you give San a flat look of exasperation. He doesn’t look intimidating in the slightest, not when he looks like he’s about to topple over any moment. Concern wells up in you once again and you call over your shoulder to Claude, who’s still at the car.

“I’ll bring him up, Claude!”

The chauffeur nods acknowledgement and before San can protest, you’re already pulling him into the mansion after you.

You don’t think you’ll ever get used to the grandeur and luxury of San’s home. A sprawling, lavish mansion made nearly entirely out of white and grey marble, and designed by a famous architect whose name you can’t quite pronounce, this place screams luxury and wealth. Built all for the sake of your best friend Choi San, only son to a globally successful business mogul and fashion entrepreneur, you sometimes wonder how cheap money is to people like them. San tries his best to make you forget the gap between the two of you, but other times, it’s near overwhelming for you.

You remember him asking you once, “Why would people buy knock-off goods when they can just get the real ones?”

You had never been so tempted to slap him.

The floor is cool against your bare feet and the helper bows to you as you drag San up the stairs to his bedroom. You’ve been here so many times you could your way around this mansion blindfolded, and the mansion is huge. Your best friend trails after you silently aside from the odd cough, and when the two of you emerge into his room, he merely flops onto his king sized bed with a tired groan.

He must have been really exhausted.

“I’ll go get some warm water and medicine for you!” You chirp and San merely lets out a tired noise of agreement, the sound muffled in the soft, downy pillows on his bed.

When you return with the essentials to make your best friend comfortable, San is curled up in his bed with his face buried underneath his Shiber toy plush, specially customized and hand sewn to look like Shiber. Tapping on his shoulder, you rouse him from his fever induced slumber.

“Hey, San, you need to drink some water and take your meds before you go to sleep.”

He grumbles a little but still complies, sitting up in the bed to face you with a pout, hair mussed from tossing about on the bed. You press the glass of warm water to his dry lips and he tilts his head back to drink, Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallows it all greedily. Concern wells up in your chest as you look at his pallid face.

He’s probably a lot more sick than he’s letting on.

But that’s just like San, you sigh under your breath as you watch him drink thirstily, rubbing at the bags under his eyes. You wonder why he hasn’t been sleeping enough. Has he been out clubbing again?

You don’t really want to think about the answer.

When that’s done, you grab the pills and tear out two tablets for San, holding them out for him to take. “For your fever. You should be fine when you wake up if you just take a couple of these.” You tell him as you set the now empty glass on his bedside table, but you don’t feel him take the pills from your hand, so you turn around to glance at him.

He stares at you expectantly.

You stare back, befuddled.

“What?”

“Well, aren’t you supposed to put them in your mouth and kiss me like in those movies?” San’s wearing a shit eating grin so wide that you’re not sure whether his brain has really been fried or if he’s just plain crazy. You stare at him in horrified disbelief for a second longer and he merely continues grinning at you like a cat that just got the canary, seemingly pleased with how red your face is becoming. “I’m not eating those on my own, they’re bitter, you know.”

Your mouth falls open at the sheer audacity of his words. Where on earth had they come from?

Then you shriek and clobber him hard over the head with a pillow.

“Ow! Ow! Yeowch! Stop hitting me, woman!” San yelps, scrambling away from you as fast as he can with the blankets tangled around his legs. You chase him with the heavy pillow held high above your head, bringing it down on his head again and again, intent on beating out the stupidity in him. He’s not nearly fast enough in this ill state and before he can reach any relative safety, you’ve already grabbed him by the ankles and are dragging him back to you.

“No! Spare me!” San thrashes about comically, trying to wriggle his way out of your grasp much like an actual cat, but you sit on his back, firmly trapping his flailing arms under your legs and then proceed to attack his sides with an assault of furious tickles.

“Aieeeee! Mercy! Have mercy on me!” Screeches fill the air, San’s voice getting increasingly high pitched when your fingers move to his armpits. Only when he’s crying and shouting and laughing weakly through tears all at once do you finally pull off him, smacking him over the head one more time for good measure.

“That’s for saying all those stupid comments!” You shout at him breathlessly, still flushed from a combination of exertion and embarrassment. San sits up next to you, still choking on a few final exhausted giggles, red streaked hair thoroughly mussed from the little roughhousing the two of you just had and the biggest, fondest grin on his face.

You hate how your heart just melts at the sight.

To distract yourself, you shove the pills into his mouth with one hand and San obediently crunches them down this time, watching you intently as you wring out a few damp towels next to him, gesturing for him to lie down. His heart warms in his chest at the sight, and when he closes his eyes, sometimes he just wishes that he could be the right one for you instead–

He purges the thought from his mind before it can go too far.

“Here you go, San.” Your voice is gentle for him, soft, sweet, innocent, a polar opposite to everything he is, so familiar and warm.

He counts it a blessing that you still remain at his side despite everything he’s done, no matter how many tears you shed over him and the times your heart has been rent in two because of his misdoings and fights.

He lays back down on the pillows, eyes shut tight against the sight of your face hovering above his. But as if you’re trying to tempt him unconsciously, you move his head into your lap and he nearly goes rigid in a panic.

“I’ve been talking to Seonghwa a lot recently, you know. He’s a great friend.” You tell him absentmindedly as your soft fingers brush the hair on his forehead back. Something in him twists, a sense of satisfaction that his carefully laid plan is falling into place, but also something darker, something more selfish, a certain sort of gut wrenching emptiness that he doesn’t want to think too much about.

San is still your best friend.

And that’s all he’ll ever be to you.

The cool cloth rests against his forehead and he sighs at how good it feels against his heated skin, but it probably has to do more with how your hands are gently kneading against his temples rather than the actual cloth itself. Upon hearing his little exhale of comfort, you glance at his face with a content smile, shaking your head with some kind of exasperation and warmth settling deep in your chest.

“Are you close to Seonghwa-oppa, San?” You ask as your fingers thread through his hair and he presses into your touch, for some reason desperately craving the feeling of your skin on his. He wants to treasure every last time he gets to be close to you like this, because it might come to an end all too soon.

Why does it hurt?

“He’s a nice guy. Boyfriend material.” San has never had to force a smile around you and it feels wrong on his lips, brittle like cracked glass against his skin. You are the one person he would never want to lie to, but if it’s for the sake of you and Seonghwa’s happiness, who is he to stand in the way?

“Yeah! He’s nothing like you.” You laugh cheerfully, teasingly bopping his nose with a finger and San barely manages to hold back a flinch at your words, his expression twisting in pain as if you’ve just shoved a knife into his chest straight. Honestly, he’d rather you just do that instead, it’d probably hurt a lot less.

“San? San, are you alright?” You frown in concern, bending down to glance at his face. The tips of your hair tickle his face gently and he can feel your breath against his cheeks, and maybe, just maybe, he wants to reach up and just pull you down to him–

“Yeah, I’m fine.” He lies again through his teeth. Maybe if he lies enough times, the pain in his chest will go away. Some part of him wants you to call him out on his deception, but you’ve always been too innocent for the things of this world and San is perhaps just a little too good at hiding his true feelings behind a carefully painted mask. “So, what were you saying again about Seonghwa?”

And he watches your face light up as you chatter animatedly to him about one of his best friends, Park Seonghwa, wondering why his chest hurts so much even when your eyes shine with excitement and joy.

He’s a selfish bastard, and he hates it.

He really needs to get the two of you together before he does something he regrets.

[classic80sand90smovieloves2]

Meeting and Dating Kevin Pickford

(Not my gif)(requested by anonymous)

(I love this pointless movie)

- You and Kevin meet after your friends convinced you to go to one of his parties. You could of made up ten different activities you’d rather do than go to a highschool keg party but your friends insisted and you soon found yourself packed into their car.

- Now you had had a little crush on Kevin for a while, ever since freshman year when you saw him for the first time, so even though you weren’t very excited to spend your night surrounded by your drunken peers you were a bit excited to maybe, hopefully see him.

- So you arrive at his house; let’s pretend this is another party that didn’t get shut down, and you walk through the front door to see the typical shit show. You stick by your friends for a while, nursing a beer and trying to convince yourself you’re having a good time. That is until your friends all but ditch you to go and mingle.

- Soon enough you’re all alone standing uncomfortably in the relatively abandoned kitchen. You’re debating the idea of just leaving, walking home didn’t seem all to bad given the circumstances, but just as you feel like you’ve made up your mind...in walks the host. You felt like your heart was going to jump out of your chest when you saw him, you stared down at your cup hoping he would just sort of ignore you as he rummaged for whatever it was he was looking for.

“How ya doin?” Shit.

- It seemed like he was just trying to be friendly so you gave him as much of a smile as you could muster and a small “fine” before glancing down at your drink again. From your experience this was usually when the person would just nod and walk out but he didn’t. He gathered the stuff he had came in for but paused at the counter.

“I don’t think I’ve seen you around before... whats your name?”

- I think you’d have to be a year younger than him because if you were in his grade prior to this he would have asked you out or at least spoken to you before. So you’re a sophomore going into junior year and he’s a junior going into senior year.

“Oh you wouldn’t really know me, I’m a sophomore. My friends brought me, I’m y/n.”

“Oh cool man cool. I’m Kevin.”

“Yeah, I-uh, I know,” you chuckled a little. “Nice party.”

- He smiled and was about to say something before he was called back to the party by a loud shout. “Well I’m gonna go deliver the necess-it-ies. You should come out, join the living, raise a little hell.” And then he was once again lost in the sea of people flooding his living room.

- After he was gone you freaked out for a hot minute over the fact that you had just talked to your longtime crush. You decided that maybe you could stomach a little more of the party and took a deep breath before wandering out of the kitchen. It was maybe thirty minutes later that the two of you found each other again and started up a mini conversation.

- Soon enough the two of you were heading up to his bedroom so that you could actually hear each other speak. You spent a surprisingly long time just talking to each other while the party went on downstairs; it was four in the morning by the time you checked the clock again.

- You figured it was time for you to go home, so you stood up and began to say goodbye before he tried to convince you to stay a little longer. It’s nearly impossible to deny him, it’s pretty much been your dream for this exact scenario to happen. You promise to stay for another hour, which turns into another hour, and finally you really need to go so that you can avoid meeting your parents at the front door. He asks for your number and you write it down for him before you leave.

- You end up walking home in the rising sun which almost feels like the perfect way to end the night.

- He calls you a few days later asking if you’d want to come over which you obviously agree to. You get together, chat some more, listen to music, all that fun teenager shit. But then he leans over and kisses you, pulling away with that gorgeous smile of his and, well, you’re walking on clouds for the rest of the day.

- Later on you kiss some more and he gives you a “so does this mean you’ll be my girlfriend from now on, cause I think I’d like that, a lot”.

- Listen most of your dates are more or less just the two of you hanging out not really doing much besides enjoying each other’s company.

- But he does take you to a drive in restaurant for dinner so you can count that as your first “official” date. He wanted to “give a good first impression for your relationship”.

- You’re together like 90% of the time. The both of you are kind of clingy with each other and neither of you seem to mind.

- Whenever you’re together he always has some form of physical contact with you at all times.

- Sitting on his lap.

- He loves PDA but it’s mostly because he just loves affection in general.

- He’s a big baby who likes being cuddled and that’s a fact. He lowkey loves being the little spoon but it genuinely doesnt matter to him how you cuddle as long as you do it.

- Keeps tabs on you whenever you go out together. He usually stays close by or at least knows where you’re going to be, he likes to make sure you’re alright.

- You definitely have little routines together whether it be when his parents almost catch him smoking or cleaning up after a party or just when coming home from school.

- Helping to make sure his parents don’t catch him smoking in his room. You’re usually sent out to distract them or you clear things up while he talks with them.

- He’s so interested in your talents and hobbies, show him what you’re passionate about baby! He wants to know!

- Always being offered free booze or weed.

- Awkward first introductions to his friends when they crash one of your hangouts to try and buy some herb.

- Being invited to all of his and his friends parties.

- Helping him plan his parties.

- Helping him with all his antics.

- He’s always fiddling with something whenever you’re together so be prepared to see him doing something at any given moment in the corner of your eye.

- Making out, he could kiss for hours.

- Always having shotgun reserved for you.

- Laying on the hood of his car together and talking about random shit.

- Trying to hide your laughter while you listen to his weird weed fueled theories and stories.

- He shows off everything you make or do, he’s a subtle cheerleader.

- You spend most of your time in his room, sitting in his egg chair or on the windowseat while he smokes a joint.

- You’re constantly on the same wavelength.

 “Thats what I was gonna say!!”

- Braiding and running your fingers through his hair.

- He plays with your hair as well, twirling strands between his fingers and stroking it when you’re cuddling.

- He’s honestly so adorable and absolutely smitten with you. All his friends can tell he’s whipped but he doesn’t care.

- He thinks it’s so cute that you had a crush on him, well that’s if you ever admit it to him.

- Hand holding especially whenever you’re walking together.

- Staying up till dawn together.

- Making flower crowns together, dont deny it he’d do it. 

- His parents love you and are always really sweet, his mother is an absolute angel.

- He isnt going to force you to smoke with him but he does need you to accept that hes not stopping just because you dont want to. He’ll agree to not smoke around you because thats fair enough but he’ll still do it with his friends or on his own. I can assume you’re alright with that if you want a relationship with him.

- Kevins pretty chill so there’s rarely any fighting and the fighting you do have are more so just arguments rather than actual fullblown fights. They’re usually over a dangerous idea or stupid action he had/did. These arguments usually end with him realizing and admitting you’re right or saying how he can see why you’d think that. He gets it even if he doesnt think its as big of a deal as you do.

- Kevin is a moderately jealous person, he doesnt think every man you talk to is a threat to your relationship. He’s pretty calm, which is what you’d expect from a stoner, he more so just smirks at the guy he knows is flirting with you and shows that you’re his with an arm around your shoulder and/or a kiss. He never dwells on it or let’s it ruin your night. 

- He’s a very loyal boy, no cheating, no flirting with other girls. You’re the only girl he has eyes for.

- Swapping clothes and accessories.

- You share pretty much everything; food, drinks, homework, joints, a single braincell. 

- Going to the emporium and playing fooseball and pool together or jokingly cheering him on while he plays someone else.

- A lot of nicknames; he definitely calls you flowerchild and other very 70s sounding ones. 

- Having a lot of Polaroids together.

- Concert dates.

- Record store dates.

- Late night hangouts.

- Going on random trips to different stores to get food or drinks.

- Well if you’re becoming a junior then you’ll have a year in highschool without him in the near future. He doesn’t really mind waiting for you to graduate so that you can advance your relationship but it will bother him when he isn’t able to see you for more than six hours, five days a weeks

- Probably proposes to you in bed, late at night with a “how would you like to be a Mrs. Pickford?” while he spins the ring between his fingers.

[paladin-lynx]

SquipJere Week 2020, Day 4: Mr. Roboto

@squipjerebmc’s SquipJere Week 2020 Day 4: Mr. Roboto

Ships Involved: The SQUIP x Jeremy Heere (Technical Difficulties/Squipemy/Squeremy/JereSquip/SquipJere)

Setting: Canonverse, set in the time interval between “Loser Geek Whatever” and “Halloween”.

Trigger/Content Warnings: None

Jeremy had never been one to ‘bask in the limelight,’ as they said. He wasn’t exactly content to stay on the sidelines for his entire life like Michael was, but he didn’t need to be the center of attention. It would just be kind of nice to be looked at by someone other than his best friend since kindergarten or bullies searching for a punching bag.

But he had to admit, after his first real hangout with the ‘cool kids’ had been a success, he felt like a movie star. All of the eyes on him as he’d mastered the dancing game at Dave & Buster’s had been somewhat overwhelming at first, but he’d quickly adjusted and it just felt good to be recognized, even if it was for something that he technically hadn’t achieved on his own. But even Rich, who without a doubt knew how Jeremy had danced like he was a professional to a song he didn’t even know that well on the highest difficulty on some obscure music game, had praised him and let him have his brief moment of fame.

But it was enough attention to satisfy him for a week or more and as keyed up as he was from all the interaction, it felt nice to be home. The entire scene kept replaying itself in his head – whether that was because of him or because it was the SQUIP’s silent way of saying ‘look how well you did,’ he wasn’t completely sure – and he had a bit of a skip in his step as he walked into the house. His father hadn’t even seemed to notice he was gone so there was no way he’d noticed that Jeremy had taken the car.

The rest of the Saturday passed without much fanfare, and soon enough it was Sunday. Sundays were usually Jeremy’s day to buckle down and get his homework done, and he usually didn’t look forward to it. When he didn’t want to get up from bed, the SQUIP lightly prodded at him until he did, teasing him for his bedhead and telling him that it was sure it would be a productive day.

Jeremy had never really liked doing homework. The one exception was when he was given books to read, although that heavily depended on the book. However, ever since getting the SQUIP, he hadn’t gotten much more enthusiastic about doing schoolwork but he found it much easier to focus. He knew for a fact that was because of the SQUIP’s influence – or at least, it had definitely started that way and now Jeremy wondered if maybe his focus was better because his mind had been properly trained.

And so after scarfing down a bowl of cereal – the SQUIP had been intent on him having three meals a day, something Jeremy hadn’t exactly been great about before considering he opted to skip breakfast ninety-five percent of the time – he settled in at his desk to start on the one subject that was the bane of his existence: math. Michael had always been the one who was better with numbers while Jeremy was better with words. Jeremy had been in the drama club when he was in elementary school and for part of middle school, although he never had any roles that were too notable, but it was enough to satisfy him. His adoration of Christine had only bolstered his love of theater. He’d even debated a few times over the course of his short life trying to write poetry or songs, but he’d never gotten into the right mindset for it. He doubted he’d be good at it, anyway.

But now he had the SQUIP which, as it had so proudly declared the first day he’d gotten it, was made of math. There were certain things the SQUIP would do for him, but homework wasn’t one of them. It would stand by as Jeremy worked, ready to assist, but it would never just give him the answers. It would walk him through the problems or prompts to make sure he understood how to find the solution, and of course because the SQUIP was in his brain, Jeremy would find himself understanding even if he had initially found himself lost as the SQUIP rattled off information.

And so he sat at his desk and got to work – normally he’d end up hunched over in his chair, but thanks yet again to the SQUIP that was no longer the case – furrowing his brow as he started on the various problems. The SQUIP was helping him raise his grades but he still had to put in the effort himself, because if he was suddenly a prodigy in every subject, there would definitely be some eyebrows raised in his direction. So he needed to do well, but not too well, kind of like how he hadn’t gotten a perfect score back at Dave & Buster’s. There was a balance to these things, wherein the SQUIP would step in and hold his hand to lead him down the right path until Jeremy learned well enough to see the way on his own.

Jeremy usually waited until he got through all the problems he could do on his own before he asked for help, almost like he was still a little kid going to ask his parents if they could assist him. Then again, the SQUIP would always be there as soon as he so much as thought that he might not be able to figure something out on his own. No embarrassing scurrying down to the kitchen necessary – although it was still a bit embarrassing to need help at all.

And to his pleasant surprise, he was actually getting through most of the assigned problems relatively quickly. Sure, there were a couple that had him scratching his head for a few minutes, but it just took a quick flip through his notes – those were getting neater and better organized, too – for him to come to a realization. He might actually be able to have some free time on this Sunday instead of spending the whole day besides meals and bathroom breaks sitting at his desk and working.

He was so absorbed in his work – what a rarity – that he almost missed that there was sound in the room other than the scratching of his pencil against his notebook. When he finally noticed it, he looked up with his brow creased, confused. It almost sounded like humming, but he was pretty sure that even if his dad sang in the shower, it wouldn’t reach all the way through the closed door.

That was when he turned to see the SQUIP standing on the other side of the room, back facing him. It had a few translucent blue screens floating around it, each displaying various numbers and data that Jeremy could never even hope to understand, and it was tapping its chin as it looked over everything. Jeremy knew that the visuals were just to fit his personal aesthetics and to give him something to look at as the SQUIP interacted with him so his brain wasn’t left utterly baffled, but he still couldn’t help feeling intrigued.

Especially when he realized that his SQUIP was, in fact, humming as it went about its business.

Of course, as soon as Jeremy realized, the sound stopped and the screens fizzled away as the SQUIP looked over its shoulder. “What? You should be doing your homework.”

“You were humming,” was all Jeremy managed to say, realizing after a heartbeat how stupid it sounded to state the obvious.

However, the SQUIP merely blinked at him, turning around to properly face him, arms crossing against its chest. “I was not.”

“Wh—You were!” Jeremy protested. “I heard it.”

“Perhaps you were humming to yourself as you worked?”

“No way, I don’t hum when I work. Especially not when I’m doing math.”

The SQUIP seemed to bite back a smile at that and instead huffed. “Everything I do in this physical manifestation, Jeremy, has a purpose. There would be no reason for me be humming at this moment, so therefore I was not humming.”

Jeremy’s eyebrows furrowed. “But you were. I heard you. I know my brain is fucked up, but it isn’t so bad that I’m imagining humming. I even know the song. It was ‘Mr. Roboto’ by, uh…erm…shit…”

“Styx,” the SQUIP interrupted, although it didn’t seem entirely pleased to be giving Jeremy evidence against its argument.

“Yeah, Styx! It played at one point in Dave & Buster’s yesterday. When Jake and Brooke were doing the basketball game thingy.”

The SQUIP scowled at him. “Jeremy, I wasn’t humming. That would be illogical. Why would I carry out such a pointless act?”

Jeremy blinked, before shrugging. “I dunno. For fun? You’re an A.I., after all, so you have things that you like to do even if you don’t need to do them…right?”

He remembered the SQUIP telling him just a few days ago that it was impossible for it to ever be at a loss. But the SQUIP right now looked just a bit baffled at Jeremy’s explanation. “I…suppose that might be true. Have I done anything else like that?”

Jeremy thought for a moment. “You looked like you were having fun yesterday when we were playing games with everyone. Maybe it was just you helping me, but I think you were getting something out of it, too. Maybe the happy chemicals in my brain were affecting you or something.”

The SQUIP snorted. “It doesn’t work that way, Jeremy. But…you may be onto something.” It tilted its head, and Jeremy wondered what exactly it was processing. But it spoke again just a few moments later: “It seems that I was, in fact, humming. It was just a…mindless action. I didn’t even seem to realize myself that I was doing it.”

“Well, you told me that with every interaction, you learn and evolve,” Jeremy replied. “So maybe because you’re poking around at me less, you’re starting to realize there are things that you like to do? And that song stuck with you from yesterday.” He smiled. “Kind of fitting, honestly.”

“I’m not a robot, Jeremy. I’m a supercomputer.”

“Oh, you know what I meant!”

The SQUIP chuckled softly, reaching up to push its hair back, even though Jeremy was pretty sure it was already perfectly in place as it always was. “…This is certainly an interesting development. I’ll have to look more into it.”

Jeremy frowned. “I know you’re all about numbers and results and stuff, but…can’t you just enjoy it and not try to dig in and find a reason behind it?”

The SQUIP raised an eyebrow and tipped its head to one side as it looked at him. “I’m programmed to delve into situations and analyze how they come to be and what results may come from them. That includes how my own code functions and grows.”

Jeremy sighed, shrugging and turning back to his desk. “You do you, I guess. Just…I dunno, I have time when I’m not working and you don’t have to worry about me. So you could find your own thing to do.”

The SQUIP appeared beside him, still looking thoughtful. “You do realize I’m in your head, right? I can’t exactly decide to meander off and go attend some crazy rave.”

Jeremy smiled sideways at him. “Maybe you can meet up with Rich’s SQUIP and have a wild party or something in cyberspace. Or you could sync with some of my game systems and run around in them. I think you secretly liked being a little hamster.”

“I did not,” it protested and Jeremy only grinned more when he felt indignant static trail down his spine. The SQUIP tutted at him and turned away. “…I’ll consider looking into doing activities that don’t align with my assignment to you. It could prove to be an interesting experiment.”

“Uh huh.”

Jeremy left it at that and got back to his homework, although he was pretty sure he wasn’t focusing quite as well as before. Was it really that strange that the SQUIP had been humming? It seemed to do a lot of things that were a bit more extra than necessary – such as that little kiss to the back of Jeremy’s hand just the day before, but Jeremy was trying not to linger on that too much because it made his stomach feel funny – but it had always explained it away as being for Jeremy’s sake. But Jeremy was starting to wonder if that was just the SQUIP trying to convince itself that everything it did had a reason behind it and that it wasn’t just doing something for the sake of doing it like a stupid human would. A SQUIP was built to learn so that it could improve itself, and it would only see something as harmless as humming a tune as it worked as a distraction or even a downgrade.

But after Jeremy had eaten dinner and returned to his room to move on to his history homework, he blinked up as he once again heard the unmistakable humming. He looked over to see the SQUIP sitting on his bed, its eyes closed and expression contemplative as it almost hesitantly hummed out the familiar notes of ‘Mr. Roboto,’ albeit slower than the actual song. But as the minutes passed, the sound got more confident and Jeremy swore he even saw a smile.

“You have a nice voice,” he complimented after a bit.

“Just because someone can carry a tune while humming doesn’t mean they can sing well, Jeremy,” was the reply he got.

But when Jeremy lay down to sleep that night, nestled under the covers, he could see the gentle tell-tale glow of the SQUIP as it sat down on the edge of the bed, just as it had that first night it had activated. It ran its fingers through Jeremy’s hair, slow and soothing, and Jeremy tipped his head slightly up into the touch as he felt himself start to drift off.

And right before he fell asleep, he thought he heard a quiet voice singing:

“Everything about you is going to be wonderful…”

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #429

“i’m just a bad luck charm to blame when things go wrong”

Are all-nighters something you have grown used to? God no. I have those SO rarely. I don't know how I used to do it. Do you usually wear sunglasses when you’re driving? I don't have sunglasses, and my driving permit has long since expired. Is there ever a time that you enjoy cold showers? COLD, no. A tad chilly, very rarely. I have to be burning the hell up. What clothes are you most comfortable in? Men's pj pants and tank tops. Is there anybody you’re not ashamed to tell anything to? No, not anything. Have you ever unbuttoned someone else's pants? Yes. Are you good at painting nails? Nooooo. My hands are way too shaky. If it’s late at night and you’re hungry, what do you reach for? Usually a granola bar or piece of bread, lol. What word should you really probably remove from your vocabulary? I don't know. I don't really use any words I find wrong/offensive. Will you eat something if it falls on the ground? NOOOOOOOO SIR. Ignoring nutrition, could you live off veggies for the rest of your life? God no. I'm not a vegetable fan. Do you see the value in education? Of course I do. Are you more physically flexible or situationally flexible? bitch neither lmao Does anybody know about your sex life other than your partners? I don't have one now, but my mom knows of some things from the past. Do you make an effort to eat healthy? Yeah. I could try harder, but I do try. Have you ever lived with a girlfriend/boyfriend? Pretty much. I wasn't an official resident, but I was essentially always there and just counted as a guest, I guess. Would you ever be a stripper? No way in hell. Can you honestly say that you love yourself? No. Do you think that you’ve ever actually been IN love with someone? I don't just "think" it, I know very goddamn well that I was. Have you ever done a psychedelic drug? If not, would you ever consider it? No and no. Did you ever see the movie Good Burger when it came out? Not when it came out, but I've seen it and love it. How often do you clear your browser history? Never. Honestly, have you ever eaten raw cookie dough? Yeah man, gourmet shit. Do you consider yourself a burden to anyone? Why do you feel this way? I absolutely do. I'm just a leech at home. A financial burden to my parents since I'm unemployed. I have a lot wrong with me that my mom has to deal with. Who was the last person to carry you? Why were they carrying you? Probably Jason, realistically. I'm probably too heavy for anyone in my life to carry me now, and there hasn't ever really been a reason to besides him just being cute many years ago. Are you a clingy kind of person? If so, how has this affected your past relationships? I know I am. I'm lucky that I don't think it really affected any. I'm not OBSESSIVELY clingy at least, just moderately so. Have you ever witnessed someone drowning? Did you help in any way? Jesus, no. Have you ever felt like you just weren’t enough for someone? Who in your life has made you feel that way? I absolutely have. No one like... intentionally made me feel like that, I just felt it due to my own self-doubt. The times I've felt that that I remember have been in my only two serious relationships, but not endlessly. I'd just do something stupid and feel like it for a while. Have you ever been at a party where the cops came due to complaints?No. What were you doing the last time you spent a night away from home (or wherever you regularly reside)? I was having a sleep study to determine whether or not I had sleep apnea. Where do you like to sit when you’re on the computer? In my bed. Do you feel as though you’re good at understanding/communicating with animals? Absolutely. Are photographs important to you? Do you like to take a lot of pictures? Not incredibly important, because nothing is quite like actually experiencing that moment, but I definitely like to have some of major events. I honestly don't take a lot of pictures documenting my own life, but rather like nature and stuff. And when people pay me to take family/couple/child photos for them. Would you rather hike through the desert, the prairies, the forest, or the tundra? The forest, for sure. So long as I had my camera. If you could reconnect with someone from your past, who would it be and why? Guess. -_- What was the last game you played? Was anyone else playing with you? Do you prefer to play games alone or with others? World of Warcraft. And well, it's an MMO, so you're playing with what, thousands of other people? I mostly do solo content though, but I do usually chat with guildies when I'm on because I'm close and comfortable with them. What is the longest distance you’ve walked in a day? Idk, but definitely far. Do you prefer homemade food or restaurant food? Restaurant, sadly. What was the last new food you tried? Ummm... I want to say sweet potatoes, back at Thanksgiving. I didn't hate them, but they were okay. What is your most recent regret? I dunno, probably something really minor like eating/drinking something unhealthy. What was the last unexpected thing to happen to you? How did you react? I guess that would be the sleep apnea diagnosis. At least, that was the last big one. I can't think of anything in-between. I was very shocked, even doubtful that the results were reliable. But given how my APAP mask has almost completely solved my nightmare issue, I think it's safe to say it's correct. Name your three closest friends. Sara, Girt, and uhhh... Sam. Do you get excited or annoyed when the phone rings? Annoyed, honestly, lol. Do you prefer writing poems or stories? I prefer writing RP, which is pretty much just gradually writing stories. What pisses you off more than anything? Probably rapists, specifically when children are the victims. It's just... so, so repulsive and unforgivable to me. Like I don't understand how a human being could possibly be so diabolical as to scar someone like that. What’s the appropriate age to have sex? I think you should be adults, honestly, given the risk of pregnancy. Not that I followed that, so I can't really talk, and I know most people don't either. When you're really in love with someone and have a sexual side, it's kinda... hard to avoid 'til you're 21. Is there anybody you’re really jealous of? It's so stupid, I'll probably always be so jealous of the girl Jason dated after me. Even though I know they're not even together anymore (well, last I heard a few years ago). Is pornography evil or are you neutral about it? Meh. I'm not into it, but I don't think it's necessarily evil. I personally don't get sex without emotional commitment, but you do you, so long as you are both consenting adults being safe about it. Do you prefer to be monogamous, or are you more a casual dater or swinger? I'm strictly monogamous. I'd be way too jealous to share a partner with someone, and then there's the heightened risk of STDs, too. Have you ever had a crush on more than one person at once? Do you now? Yes, but I don't now. Who is your favorite relative? Excluding my immediate family, Uncle Rob. He is so damn funny. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? I know I would, realistically. Do you think you will be in a relationship three months from now? No. What’s the greatest thing that happened to you today? It SUCKED while actually doing it, but I'm very satisfied having done around 20 minutes of cardio today at the gym. Cardio is something I 110% need in my life. Have you had any beer this week? I've never had beer. I hate the smell of it, and it's associated with memories of my dad as an alcoholic anyway. Could you cry right now? Nah, I'm in a good mood. If you could see one person right now, who would it be? I'd honestly love to hang with Sara again. Do you wear contacts? No, but I wish I did versus glasses, contacts are just WAY too tedious. What color shirt are you wearing? It's a dark teal. Song playing right now? Ha, I am STILL obsessed with Powerwolf's (but with Alissa White-Gluz's vocals) "Demons Are a Girl's Best Friend." Do you wear the seat belt in the car? Absolutely always. Please, please, wear your seat belt. Has anyone ever mistaken you for someone else? Yes. There was a kid at dance who, from behind, thought I was his mother and he just ran up and hugged me from behind and I nearly had a heart attack. Do you like the color orange? Yeah; it reminds me of Halloween. Sometimes, do you wish you were someone else? Not really entirely someone else, but a much better version of myself. What is the weather like today? It's hot as shit and pretty hazy. Do you want any piercings? UGH like you have no idea. Have you given anything up for Lent? No. You do what you want, but I honestly think it's a dumb concept. Would you rather go to a rock concert or a rap concert? Rock, for certain. Have you ever dated someone that was a different race than you? Yeah; Juan was Hispanic. How old is your best friend? She's 23. What does your favorite necklace look like? It's a spiked choker with some dangling chains. It's fuckin' hot. Are you keeping a secret from anyone? I don't like the wording here. I don't have anything I'm hiding from someone in particular, and nothing they need to know at all. I just have a few inconsequential secrets I just don't share with anyone. Would you take a million dollars if it meant you had to die a month later? Uh, no thank you. Do you keep any type of diary or journal? You could say surveys are like snippets of a diary of sorts for me. I share a lot and use them to vent and just jabber on about my thoughts and feelings without exactly burdening anyone with them. What was the last thing that made you really happy? I'VE LOST A POUND SO FAR AT THE GYM!!!! :') It's been just one week, I know, big whoop, but it means A LOT to me. Prior to this, the numbers had just been gradually creeping up and up... but not anymore! :D Can you remember what you dreamed about last night? Very vaguely? Or maybe that was the night before's dream... Have you ever gotten kicked out of a class for being disruptive? Definitely not. I was a well-behaved, quiet student. Have you ever injected a drug? Noooo. Do you think the whole day is better if you smoke pot? I've never smoked. Last time you killed a bug? A while back when an ant walked over my laptop. Are you wearing perfume? What kind? No. The last male you spoke to… is he attractive? That would be my personal trainer, and yeah, he's very handsome.

[regrettablewritings]

Podcasts, Youtubes, and TV Shows to Distract Yourself With Because Why Not, and Also Because I Wanna Blab About Some of These

Since I can’t go to work and horrify my coworkers/make them realize I’m a mess and/or nerd by telling them about the type of media I’m into, I’m foisting my recommendations on all of y’all who choose to read this. I frankly do not care how many people have actually heard of these things because I’m also sure there’s plenty of people who, like me, are very slow and oblivious to entertainment, or who have heard of the property but were never that convinced.

Kipo and the Age of the Wonderbeasts

Type: TV series

200 years after a mysterious yet earth-shattering event, much of humanity has taken to living beneath the surface in communities called burrows, wherein life goes on, if effected somewhat by the bizarre fauna that exists above them (referred to as “mutes”, short for “mutant”). One burrow girl, Kipo, founds her world turned almost literally inside-out when she finds herself not only separated from her father and the only world she’s ever known, but on the surface, no less. What ensues is her trying to find her way back home with the help of a stony-faced little girl with a massive chip on her shoulder; a music enthusiast and his literal gadfly friend; and some . . . unusual allies that only an oblivious optimist like Kipo could make. All to a kickass soundtrack, a beautiful backdrop of art, and a world where animals have basically evolved into gangs under a looming threat known as Scarlemagne. If you can’t already tell, I love this series to bits and now is the perfect time for people to get into it and encourage another season of it. Just . . . don’t think too hard that whatever happened to cause the Event in the show happened in October 2020 . . .

Available on: Netflix

My Dad Wrote a Porno

Type: Podcast

This should go without saying, but this podcast is definitely meant for more mature audiences. Or somebody with a strong stomach. Not that it’ll always be easy to tell with the type of content this series gives. When Jamie Morton’s father handed him his manuscripts for his self-published books, he had no idea he was being given a pinnacle of a polished turd: It was erotica. Really, really, really bad erotica. But the ear’s trash is the heart’s pleasure with this bad girl, as Jamie enlists the company of friends Alice and James to provide commentary on “Rocky Flintstone”’s series Belinda Blinked, a drama chronicling the sexcapades of Belinda Blumenthal as she climbs the ladders (and men and women) both in and out of the cut-throat world of pots and pans sales. What follows is a goldmine of awkward metaphors, strange bedmates, and just an overall stampede of whiplashing events that somehow exceed expectations. Listen in if you dare . . . And make sure you’re in good company for it. Fun Fact, though: Daisy Ridley, Ben Barnes, Lin-Manuel Miranda, Michael Sheen, Mara Wilson, Elijah Wood are but a few well-known fans of this series! Nobody is safe . . .

Available on: Wherever podcasts can be found

Lore

Type: Podcast

Sometimes, truth is stranger than fiction. And what better way to be reminded of that, then to have the dulcet tones of Aaron Mahnke tell you about the lighthouse incident that the 2016 movie The Lighthouse was loosely inspired by? Suffice to say, this podcast could also be interpreted with some advised discretion, but definitely in a way that’s different from My Dad Wrote a Porno. In the centuries humankind has existed, we’ve managed to create a menagerie of beasts, both fictional and in ourselves. Lore explores all the many different kinds of events and persons and creatures we have to offer. In any given episode, we could be talking about anything from the bizarre story of a lady who convinced 18th century physicians that she was giving birth to rabbits, to something more disturbing like the life of H.H. Holmes. Or something as relatively innocuous as the relationship between gremlins and flight. Regardless of the subject, however, you’ll definitely walk away knowing something new, if bizarre. And perhaps slightly terrifying.

Available on: Wherever podcasts can be found

The Amelia Project

Type: Podcast

Congratulations: You have been made aware of The Amelia Project. If you’re not interested in this, exit the page. Now. If you continue, there’s no unhearing it. Good choice! A new interest awaits. If you don’t enjoy it, please consider the whole thing a hoax. Okay but in all seriousness, there’s no way to do The Amelia Project justice in just a simple description. The plot sounds quite simple, really: People want to disappear and start a new life, The Amelia Project is there to help – with a price. And that’s if you can actually get a hold of them! What really makes the show, however, are the people and the writing, and I’m not just talking about the almost childlike Interviewer with an obsession for hot cocoa. I’m talking about the clientele: I’m talking about the macabre-obsessed theme park owner who’s out for revenge; the cult leader who’s in way over his head; a Santa impersonator stuck in a miserable marriage with his own manager; an actual podcast character trying to outrun his creators. And obviously this would all be nowhere without the spectacular writing! I really can explain this series without blabbing on and potentially spoiling things; The Amelia Project is an experience!

Available on: Wherever podcasts can be found

LegalEagle

Type: Youtube channel

To be frank, I just like learning for the sake of learning, even if I may not always necessarily understand the topic or have any plans to use it in the foreseeable future. The big difference here being that at least this channel makes learning about the law fun and breaks it down. Headed by a certified lawyer (because what an age we live in, where professionals actually take time out of their lives to teach us common folk), there’s a multitude of series D.J. Stone uses to help break down the complex world of law, from reviewing the realism of procedural favorites (Law & Order, The Good Wife, HTGAWM, etc), to analyzing real-life situations, to even watching childhood media that has nothing to do with the law and determining how much money, say, Willy Wonka would owe in a lawsuit. In short, it is one of my worst subjects done in one of my favorite ways to learn! Plus, Stone hates business students and is perfectly willing to poke fun at law students so it’s all fun, frankly.

Available on: Youtube

Nando v Movies

Type: Youtube channel

Sometimes, movies are bad. Sometimes, they’re good. And sometimes, they could use a few adjustments in hindsight. Especially the nerdier movies where the directors may or may not have tried way too hard or way too little. And that’s where Nando comes in: Whether it’s explaining why a different villain might have worked better for a hero’s origin story movie, or analyzing how one seemingly small adjustment could’ve potentially made more sense in explaining characterization, this channel is always providing a new perspective on a movie or show you’ve probably seen and maybe weren’t necessarily too pleased with. (Or maybe you were – I enjoyed Justice League okay but I love the version he rewrote more.) Oh, yeah: Sometimes he does rewrites of movies or even series. So if you’re anything like me and you’re way into that, this is a channel you don’t want to miss out on.

Available on: Youtube

DEATH BATTLE!

Type: Youtube channel

Does anyone remember Deadliest Warrior? No? . . . How about that one time during lunch where you and your friend got into it over who would win in a death match between Superman and Goku? Good news: A buncha geeks did the math for you and have come out with the results! Specifically, hosts Wiz and Boomstick have analyzed the weapons, armor, and skills of each combatant in every episode, resulting in an ongoing series of absolute nonsense and satiation of bloodshed. The description is admittedly nothing crazy, but the amount of detail applied is honestly where it’s at: From calculating how loud Black Canary’s screams are to approximating Scrooge McDuck’s speed (I’m not kidding you), there’s actual thought put into the characters being assembled and how they might fair with their respective combatant. And it all comes together for an actual fight, often animated but always amazing. So if you’ve ever wondered if Thor could beat Wonder Woman, or if McGruff the Crime Dog stands a chance against Smokey the Bear (I’m…I’m being honest), then this is the show for you!

Available on: Youtube

Sideways

Type: Youtube channel

If there is music in that movie or show, it will be analyzed to a degree that, unless you’ve been trained in music, you would’ve probably never thought about. There isn’t necessarily much rhyme or reason to Sideways’ videos in terms of themes beyond music, but really, must they? Is it not enough that this man is screaming to the internet these wack and awesome trends he’s noticed in certain pieces associated with movies and musicals and the genius behind them? Could life not just be him explaining the symbolism of the instruments associated with the Crystal Gems of Steven Universe, or breaking down the cultures explored by way of the Black Panther soundtrack? Also, here’s a fun drinking game: Take a shot every time he mentions leitmotifs or the Dies Irae.

Available on: Youtube

Craig of the Creek

Type: TV show

In the woods of suburban Maryland, there exists a kid’s utopia: A place where horse girls are free to roam the fields, where a boy can be a king of garbage, and where children travel the sewers completely unsupervised. That is, until the dinner horn rings; then they have to go home until the next time they can return to The Creek. The show focuses on one specific trio (Craig, JP, and Kelsey) as every day, The Creek (and their own childish naivete) brings them new hijinks to experience. There’s a blissful lightheartedness to the show, in addition to a lot of creativity that feels like it was ripped straight out of your own imagination as a child (robots made from cardboard boxes, building portals using lights, etc). But beneath it all, there’s something just plain wild brewing. I don’t want to spoil anything, but CotC has some G-rated GOT shit going on the further along the series goes and I can’t wait to see how it all unfolds!

Available on: CN app, wcostream.com

And that’s probably enough for now, I think. Lemme know if you want any other suggestions, or how you’re findin’ ‘em if you take any of them up! Stay safe, stay healthy my dudes!

[edengarden]

oh ofc, here’s my stuff again (all in one ask cause tumblr lets me now thank god (but it’s still really long mb 😅))

i’m a 16YO bisexual mixed cis girl with tan skin, a little under 5’4, i have shoulder-length deep brown/black hair in little ringlets (3C type), my eyes are the same color, i have semi-thick black glasses, rosy round cheeks, and i’m overweight with a sort of thick hourglass figure going on. i don’t usually wear makeup or indulge in a bunch of skin care, but i still take pride in my appearance which shows more through my outfits! i feel best wearing feminine but simplistic stuff; graphic tops, boots, leggings, things with skirts, etc, and swap between light and dark colors depending on whether i’m feeling more cutesy or elegant. personality wise i’m an infj-t, gemini sun + rising and virgo moon, and a ravenclaw with some hufflepuff aspects. some of my best qualities are being analytical, as i notice details and make connections in my environment or media i consume that others may pass over, my kindness, as i always strive to aid and uplift others i care about and who i think need it, and my equity, because i can easily understand different perspectives and come to fair and just solutions that benefit as many people as possible. some of my flaws include being blunt and sarcastic when i speak, since i see things simply and sometimes forget to be mindful that others don’t, being anxious, due to my constant overthinking of situations and possibilities, and a tendency to be lazy and unmotivated, since i more care about others and their goals than myself. though im an introvert and use a lot of energy with social interactions, i treasure all my relationships and romanticize the time i spend with those close to me. i can get along with pretty much anyone, and though i’m not popular i’ve noticed i often become the center or connecting piece in nearly all my friend groups without meaning to, and tend to attract those who’re disheartened or otherwise outcasts. i do have a tendency to be rough and poke fun with people as soon as i get comfortable, though, but if i ever strike a nerve i’m quick to apologize and make it up to them, it’s just a weird way of showing my love and i always hate seeing people upset, and feel astronomically worse if it was because of me. i can’t stand people who are overly arrogant entitled and/or don’t think or worry about the consequences of their actions though, they get on my last nerve and i do my best to stay away from them. i appreciate when people are genuine with their feelings and understand the value of communication like i do, it’s the most important part of any relationship, platonic or romantic, but you can’t easily find that nowadays. it’s also a plus if they can be mature when need be but are still silly and light-hearted and make me laugh (which isn’t that hard i react to pretty much anything) otherwise i enjoy artsy things like drawing, writing, baking, and just creating in general! plus listening to music, watching youtube, plus comedy shows and horror movies, and sleeping :P i can like any individual song regardless of genre, i more so pay attention to how the lyrics are crafted and certain instrumental motifs i enjoy, so it leaves my music taste pretty all over the place and i end up crafting playlists for ‘vibes’ rather than adhering to genres; however i do end up enjoying alternative rock and pop the most often. some other facts about me are i’m good at color theory, my cheeks flare really easily, i love rhythm games, i have a relatively nice singing voice, laughter is my ABSOLUTE weakness and i can even end up cackling and falling over, i don’t have any social media and i’m really bad at keeping up with trends (i’m always either early or late to the party)

again, take your time since ik youre super busy! and reminder to take care of yourself too! 💖💖

Oh, you’re DEFINITELY a third year.

Now, I can’t exactly remember who I matched you up with, but from the way you are as a person, you 100% get along with Mirio and Nejire. Since day one the three of you were the Sunshine Gang. Honestly, sharing that trait together makes you all very approachable people and I think even Tamaki would end up befriending you because he sees that you’re a good person at heart (plus Mirio seemed to really like you, which was definitely a good addition). People always seem to underestimate you, especially when you’re so close (and often compared) to the big three, but holy crap, your sense of observation is out of this world and you know how to use it in battles. It always got you very far in school training and, well, some underclassmen really admire you for it.

Through the years at UA, though (especially being close with Mirio and Nejire), you learned to value yourself and your own goals. After all, you’re at a hero school. Everyone is here to become the best version of themselves. I can assure you that the first year you would be astonished to see how far you’ve come as a third year. I’d also like to add that together, you and Nejire tend to be almost ruthless with curiosity. While she asks the invasive questions and does her thing, you’re picking apart EVERYTHING about the subject and yes, it tends to make people uneasy, but it’s also HILARIOUS.

[the-desolated-quill]

Joker - Quill’s Quickies (No Spoilers)

Joker is proving to be an extremely divisive film. Some think it’s the best thing since The Dark Knight. Proof that comic book movies can be art too. Others think it’s pretentious Oscar bait with nothing interesting to say.

And that’s not to mention the controversy surrounding the film as people wonder whether this will incite violence in white men (which I’m not going to touch with a barge pole, at least not here. I’ll do a separate Scribble for that sheer nonsense at some point). Needless to say everyone and their mums have an opinion on Joker... so I guess one more, won’t hurt.

Whether you like Joker or not I think depends on your tolerance for a) films that deliberately set out to make you feel uncomfortable and b) films that ask you to feel pity for the devil. (and I want you to remember that word ‘pity.’ It’ll be important later on). Personally, I loved Joker. I think it’s one of the most unique and groundbreaking comic book films I’ve ever seen. If you don’t like it, that’s fine. I can actually understand why to a certain extent. However don’t try to spin this as some ideological thing because that’s just disingenuous and stupid.

Lets start with the obvious. Joaquin Phoenix. Give this guy a fucking Oscar, for the love of God! His performance was truly mesmerising, particularly when he does finally don the full clown makeup. He is the Joker. The mannerisms, the attitude, the nihilism, it all just works. There’s even a monologue near the end of the film that could have been lifted straight out of the comics. This is a film that not only depicts the Joker perfectly, but also completely understands the character too.

The rest of the cast is exceptional too. Robert de Niro plays a chat show host who Joker looks up to and he does a good job. Deadpool 2′s Zazie Beetz plays a small but pivotal role as Sophie, Joker’s next door neighbour and ‘love interest’ and she’s excellent too despite having quite a small amount of screen time. Frances Conroy plays Joker’s mum Penny. Again a relatively small role, but a crucial one and she gives a memorable performance. Finally there’s Brett Cullen as a very different interpretation of Bruce Wayne’s father Thomas Wayne, which I think works extremely well in the context of this film and creates exciting possibilities for this world’s version of Batman, which we’ll probably never get to see because this is intended as a one off. Not that I’m complaining. I wouldn’t want them to do a sequel. This works perfectly as a standalone piece.

As I said, the supporting cast actually play a minor role overall as the film follows Arthur Fleck exclusively. The man who would be Joker. It’s a bit hard to talk about why I think this film works without giving away spoilers, so I’ll focus on how it made me feel.

Joker is an extremely tense movie. Todd Phillips’ stellar direction puts you in the mindset of the character and Hildur Guonadottir’s incredible music really elevates the film’s more disturbing moments. In fact (and I suppose you could call this a trigger warning), I did actually suffer from an anxiety attack halfway through the film because you’re constantly on a knife edge. As Arthur’s life falls apart, we see him become more violent and erratic to the point where he becomes legitimately frightening. Fear is of course subjective. I’m sure most of you have more of a spine than I do. But if you do suffer from any kind of anxiety, I would recommend psyching yourself up before you watch this and maybe have a friend or relative on hand to comfort you if it starts to get a bit much.

Seriously, I’m not kidding. Joker is an extremely uncomfortable experience and it’s unrelenting in how grim and unsettling it is. It’s R rated, but it’s not necessarily gory. It’s not as violent as, say, Deadpool, but its more bloody moments often come rather suddenly and with a lot of tense buildup beforehand. While it does bear similarities to movies like Taxi Driver and The King Of Comedy, those films have the audience on the outside looking in. Joker on the other hand takes the audience and locks them inside the Clown Prince of Crime’s mind for two hours straight, and quelle surprise, it turns out the inside of Joker’s mind is fucking horrible. Viewer beware.

Okay, okay. I guess I can’t avoid it altogether. Do I think this film is dangerous? No. Do I think it insults those with mental health issues? No, in fact quite the opposite. I found the film to be quite sympathetic towards the mentally ill, presenting Arthur as being a dark outlier, not the norm. Do I think the film is making some sort of political statement. Again no. I honestly don’t think it’s saying anything about white people or toxic masculinity or gun violence or anything like that. In fact, if it is saying anything at all, it condemns those who seek to hijack a public figure for their own political agenda (which ironically is exactly what the press are doing with this very movie, but of course critics and journalists can’t see that because they have no self awareness what so bloody ever). The film is what it is. An extremely dark character study of arguably the most famous villain of all time.

Some have criticised the film as being too predictable, which I personally don’t think is a particularly valid critique. Like, yeah, of course it’s predictable. We all know what’s going to happen in the end. The fucking title kind of gives it away. It’s execution that counts, and Phillips and co have done a fantastic job in my opinion. As for those who complained that this film is cynical and nasty and made them feel numb afterwards... I mean... I honestly don’t know what you were expecting. Of course you’re feeling numb. That’s what the film wants you to feel. It’s cynical and nasty because the central character is cynical and nasty. That’s like criticising a comedy for being funny.

Honestly, if I had any complaints, it’s that I think they do paint the story with broad strokes, leaving very little room for subtlety. But having said that, this is based on a comic book about a billionaire who fights psychotic costumed criminals at night whist dressed as a bat. I don’t think subtlety has much of a place here.

Finally I just want to briefly touch on the concern that this film might make the character too sympathetic. First of all, that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Some villains can actually become scarier when we as an audience can empathise with them and understand their motives (see Killmonger in Black Panther). Second, and most importantly, Arthur Fleck/Joker is not a sympathetic character. Yes I did feel pity for him at times, but that’s not the same thing as sympathy. Like I said, this film completely understands the Joker. There are occasions where you do feel sad for the character and wish he could have got the right help, but most of the time (and the film emphasises this throughout) he’s presented as being a deeply disturbed and maladjusted individual and at no point is his behaviour ever justified. Instead it’s presented as being almost inevitable. That in a city as terrible as Gotham, what else could Arthur have become? Joker is a tragic character, but he’s not in anyway likeable.

I would definitely recommend you go and see this movie, especially if, like me, you’ve gotten sick of the slew of formulaic comic book movies and convoluted shared universes. If Joker is indeed going to be the first of an anthology series focusing on telling low budget, character driven, standalone, experimental films, then it’s a very strong start. Whether you liked Joker or not, the fact of the matter is the success of this movie can only mean good things for Warner Bros, DC, the comic book movie genre and the industry going forward, so please go and see this film.

[gothsic]

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; Mun & Muse - Meme.

fill out & repost ♥ This meme definitely favors canons more, but I hope OC’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multi-Muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm.

My muse is:   canon / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless /

Is your character popular in the fandom?  YES / NO. in his own head maybe

Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK. lol what fandom does jo have a fandom here???

Is your character considered strong in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK. ???

Are they underrated?  YES / NO. / IDK. jo thinks he’s underrated does that count??

Were they relevant for the main story?  YES / NO.

Were they relevant for the main character?  YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG.

Are they widely known in their world?  YES / NO.

How’s their reputation?  GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL.

How strictly do you follow canon?  — Jo is the master of his own story so yeah. I’m following my own canon and whatever I come up with to a T ( unless some good suggestions in writer’s workshops or even here come up! ). He is the main character of my limited series pilot that I hope to write soon called The Insomnia Trap.

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals.  —  Jonathan has many sides to him. The child of mixed Latinx parents and the youngest of three kids, he has had a relatively normal life ( save for early childhood, when he killed his mother by “accident” - should’ve mentioned that! ) and his very long goth phase in middle/high school, but always deemed himself to be on the outskirts of society. Because he was aware from a young age that he was simultaneously unwanted and unplanned, Jonathan came out of his upbringing with the idea that he never should have existed. This planted in him a very nihilistic, misandrist, and generally flippant view of the world despite pursuing his dream to work in comics and cartoons. Though he was hungry for recognition and dreamed of a world not on Earth, he often found himself to be a ghost wandering the streets of town, looking in on the people having fun in their homes without understanding why they were happy. His insomnia developed when he in his teens, though he still had trouble sleeping as a child after seeing his mother’s mangled corpse at the bottom of the stairs - his doing, of course. Whether he lives with the guilt or not is up to you to decide; it’s my personal feeling that there is a part of him, the human part of him, that feels horrible about what he did. He feels monstrous for it, in fact. This is part of the reason why, if he gets extremely close to someone, he warns them that he’s not a good person; the shred of good left in him. But he also feels his “metamorphosis” into the nihilist that he is today was inevitable, given that he was never supposed to exist in the first place. It should be mentioned, of course, that this nasty cocktail of things has not only stressed his insomnia, but he eventually was pushed into going to a sleep clinic to get to the bottom of his problems once and for all. He only encountered an extremely traumatic lucid dream that forced him to confront his past head-on. He was unable to save his rotting humanity ( D., a small girl that looked like his character Deirdre ), and was eaten alive by The Other, a creature that looked like a younger version of himself and eventually absorbed him into itself. He awoke, now in what can only be described as a constant lucid dream in waking life. He encounters monsters and hallucinations from his dreamspace frequently, and will sometimes see D.’s forest crop up in his backyard. To this day, he still believes D. is alive and well - and, of course, that the object of his obsession, the one person who ever understood him in his point of view, Annie Kaye, is going to one day return to him as he’s always dreamed. Sadly, she could want nothing less to do with his sorry ass.

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?).  —   Around the time that The Insomnia Trap was simply going to be a screenplay, I workshopped it every few weeks in my senior Screenwriting class in undergraduate school. The overwhelming response I got was that Jonathan was abhorrent, creepy, and the question a lot of people had was why we were following him versus Adri, his ex girlfriend who was documenting his struggles with insomnia. My only answer to this is that is the point - you aren’t supposed to necessarily like him, I instead invite you to understand why he does the things he does. I’m asking you to do something you don’t like, something that makes you uncomfortable, maybe. I don’t believe entertainment in any capacity should be forced to be all about how “great” a person someone is. He’s a horrible person you can observe at a safe distance, and pick apart - a real puzzle who has his nasty qualities and his strangely good qualities mixed into one. I’m not asking you to forgive him, either. I’m asking you to see him for what he is and judge him for yourself. Jonathan is a gigantic mess of things - he’s deeply traumatized, but has chosen to live a life where he’s given in to his narcissism and self-importance, and he’s deeply hurt many people in his life - the most obvious being Annie, whom he feels he “deserves” after suffering so much in his life ( sure... ). He is in many ways a deeply unlikable character, and I wrote him keeping this in mind. That said, he has his better qualities, though they’re few and far between, that I think can keep him human in the eyes of the audience ( his love of animals, guilt towards his mother’s death, his intense self hatred, his genuine love for his nieces and nephews and for children in general, etc. ). Since he’s the protagonist of The Insomnia Trap, I can only hope that he is a complex and interesting enough character to follow for audiences if/when the limited series gets picked up!

What inspired you to rp your muse?  — Jonathan is based off of a very long personal experience I had, and I’ve always been fascinated by intense psychological horror. The two things came together, at first, when I was 12 and simply evolved from there. Originally, the project was going to be an animated flash movie that was divided into parts - but that of course never happened, I was too young and too impatient to ever do that. Over time, I ended up focusing Jonathan’s character, and he first appeared in high school - sophomore year, actually, in a different context. He’s been in development for a very long time, in other words, and I grew fascinated with a variety of different concepts over the years that got incorporated into his story ( doppelgangers, lucid dreaming, revenge, obsession, tragic protagonists, etc. )! He is one of the most intimate characters I’ve ever created, and I love him to death.

What keeps your inspiration going?  —  Music is a big one, there are specific songs I want to get the rights to use in the project if it ever gets made, and that really helps keep me focused on this blog and develop Jonathan further. Also, threading with my fellow muns and seeing how Jo evolves over time. What’s he capable of? Can he change? Is he capable of change, or is he afraid of it? These are questions that are asked with each character he interacts with, and I sincerely live for it. Also, drawing helps me out a lot too - maybe you’ll see The Insomnia Trap in webcomic form soon... just a thought!

Some more personal questions for the mun.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

Do you think you give your character justice?  YES / NO / no idea honestly lmao

Do you frequently write headcanons?  YES / NO / depends!

Do you sometimes write drabbles?  YES - I also draw them! / NO, I HATE DRABBLES.

Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day? YES! / NO.

Are you confident in your portrayal?   YES / NO / sorta

Are you confident in your writing?  YES / HAHA NO.

Are you a sensitive person?  YES / NO. / though i can handle critique, film school definitely hardens you to that!

Do you accept criticism well about your portrayal?  —  I do. I’ve been explicitly told Jonathan is disgusting and totally unlikable by people to my face, and I have made leaps and strides to prevent my portrayal from going completely in the “this person is deplorable” category that was tempting to head towards. It’s easy to explore someone’s bad side rather than explore their good side, which I can forget about with him. That said, critique really does help me develop my writing further, and I desperately need it even if it can be hard to hear sometimes!

Do you like questions, which help you explore your character?  —  I love questions. If people ask me questions, I do my best to answer no matter what they may be. They can be challenging sometimes, but that’s what makes it so fun!

If someone disagrees to a headcanon of yours, do you want to know why?  —  Sure, I’m happy to hear what people have to say. I may not agree with it, but hearing different perspectives is so important in my point of view.

If someone disagrees with your portrayal, how would you take it?  —  As well as I could. It can be frustrating, but everyone’s tastes are different, so I don’t really take it personally and move on. I’m really here to do what I want to do in the end, as the rest of us are, so I try to prioritize that over any negative feelings I might have.

If someone really hates your character, how do you take it?  —  Again, I just let it be. I’m used to people not really understanding Jonathan or not caring for him while understanding him, and that’s fine! Everyone has their preferences for what they like in leading characters or just characters in general. He is a triggering character with very triggering themes, and I’m writing him from a very prolonged experience I had ( and it’s very cathartic ) so I can understand why people may not want to engage with him or with me. I’m perfectly fine with it and invite people to put themselves first, and I move on like I mentioned in the above question.

Are you okay with people pointing out your grammatical errors?  —  Yes! Please go for it. I literally do not proof my replies before I post them half the time so feel free to let me know if I misuse words or put commas/colons/semicolons or whatever out of place.

Do you think you are easy going as a mun?   — I think so! I try to be open and inviting to everyone I speak to here, and always encourage people to come talk to me if they’d like to. No pressure though! Roleplay is for fun, and it shouldn’t be anxiety inducing or any kind of work - do things at your own pace here, that’s what I say ( though I’m trying to follow my own advice! ).

That’s about it, congrats for filling out!

Tagged by:  @forseenclade !!. thank you flower... luv Tagging: whomstever wants to !! feel free to tag me so i can see !!

[neocity-sarai]

Question and Answers

just wanted to thank @lideria, @xyyydream, and others for tagging me! This will be a long post so I do not expect anyone to read through all of this! Much luv to you guys hehe <3

1. Go to milk tea/ coffee order?

I go for a white mocha or a classic chai tea latte! for boba, i’d always pick a flavor called valentine which has rose, strawberry, and white chocolate in it!

2. Answering these questions on a phone or laptop?

Both! reading the questions on my phone and typing on a computer!

3. In a love trangle, do you gravitate more towards the bad or good boy?

Personally, I like good-hearted boys, not that a bad boy couldn’t be good hearted but wow- i love the pure, kind, and dorky kind!

4. Favorite movie?

Crazy Rich Asians!

5. First kpop album?

Departure by Got7. I filmed a whole unboxing video on my crappy samsung because I was so excited.

6. Guilty pleasure song?

Old disney channel songs from Camp Rock, Lemonade Mouth, Girl Meets World, etc.

7. Do you know how to cook?

I’m good at making meals and decorating desert but not so much baking!

8. Growing up, what was your favorite thing to play on a playground?

Definitely the swings!

9. Have you ever made a tiktok?

Even after numerous people trying to convince me, I have been sworn to not enter the dark side haha. I will not be on tiktok ever- no thanks! (Though the nct ones on YT are hilarous)

10. The most you’ve spent on a piece of clothing?

30 for a iridescent skirt when i was in Tokyo!

11. What’s your comfort food?

My mom’s homemade cooking from asian food to italian to american, just her dishes are the best.

12. What your clothing style?

I switch it up based on season! In the spring, it’s denim skirts and pretty blouses. In the winter, I go for pastel jeans and cashmere sweaters. In fall, I do flowy pants with cardigans and leather jackets. In summer, I go for flowery dresses, maxi skirts, and short tops!

13. If given the chance, which language would you want to know fluently?

I would learn Vietnamese of French so I could speak to my grandma and relatives. It would allow me to tell them stories and comfort them when I see them!

14. Which kpop group deserves more appreciation?

Pentagon! Listen to Shine, Humph, and Beautiful!

15. All time favorite song?

That’s wayyyy too hard. Oh gosh. I’ll just say every song I’ve ever added to my playllist because I get bored real fast so I always have to shuffle around.

16. What inspired you to start writing?

Personally, it was reading YA novels since I was young. I was obsessed with Divergent, Hunger Games, and the Mazerunner- I wanted to imagine myself in these stories. I wanted to write and combine kpop.

17. Harry Potter or Twilight?

Harry Potter hands down! Not JK Rowling though, yikes. Anyway, I’m a hufflepuff and the world building is priceless.

18. Name a kpop idol with the best stage presence

M A R K Lee. You’ve debuted so many times, he’s cute and he’s handsome. He’s dorky when he’s not on stage but becomes really tough and determined when he is. Wow, a whole pro.

19. Weirdest fic concept

Honestly, i don’t have any super unusual ones but if I could guess probably writing idols into existing concepts inspired by books or novels. Probably because they’d never actually be a character in the book but I guess yeah. Like my jeno in divergent fic!

20. Favorite mythical creature

A dragon. It represents grace and power, it strikes surprise and fear into stories but can be tamed sometimes. I love dragons.

21. Would you give reading or writing up?

Honestly, I don’t think my writing is all that great so probably that. I love books too much I’m sorry-

22. You as a planet?

Probably Jupiter! I’m not sure why but I like to think I’m very aware of the world and my surroundings so like the rings around Jupiter represent me being emotionally in touch at all angles?

23. Song you used to love but can’t stand now

NCT’s kick it. I love you boys but Punch took the crown for me. I can’t listen to Kick it all that much (it’s just not my taste).

24. Which greek god is your favorite?

Athena because of Percy Jackson, Athena represents wisdom and battle strategy- something I’d like to have skills in hahaha. 

25. Eliminate one thing in the universe, what would it be?

The preside- lol I’m kidding or am I? Anyway, this is deep but people’s need to do bad things. It’s not a materialistic thing but idk, I can’t stand to see people cheat out their family or their friends because they like hurting feelings. I ain’t about that.

26. What is love to you?

I’ve never been in love before. I also don’t like to wait for “the one” to show up so I learned to find love my own way. I see love in my family, love in my friends, and love for the world around me whether it’s fleeting emotions, songs, art, amd little stuff I hold dear- I think that’s greater than romantic love. True, maybe I haven’t found the right person yet but I rather not depend on them for happiness until they show up.

27. Which plant represents you?

I’d say a evergreen pine. That’s my favorite scent and it reminds me of the woods in Vancouver or in Flagstaff. Also christmas. I’m very in touch with my memories there so I’d think I’d be a pine.

28. Sweet of Spicy?

That was SUH- WW-EEEET! -Mark Lee

29. Describe yourself with three traits from Sims 3?

I’ve never played Sims 3 but I will try: Inspired, Creative, Lives by strong emotional principles

30. Book or character I wish I have written?

The mazerunner boys! I love the series and I adore Thomas/ Newt/ Minho because it focuses on survival and how trust/ friendship plays a role in this. There is romance but just a dash of it which is nice. I love the story plotline here.