#That’s the last full episode of greys that I ever watched

[hatchetation]

The worst character assassination on the planet was grey’s anatomy making calliope torres battle for sole custody of sofia and act like arizona had never been a true mother to their daughter. Sorry but the callie torres I know had the biggest, most loving and generous heart and she would have NEVER

[akumakosuke]

T.w: Subbot Amab Kento Nanami x Topdom Amab reader. Breeding kink, overstimulation, size kink (kinda), multiple orgasms, creampie, praise, degradation, cock warming, feminization (calling Kento's hole a pussy), fluffy aftercare.

P.s this has been in my drafts forever!! I completely forgot about it until someone reminded me!

I'm actually going feral right now.

I watched the new episode of JJK last night and good lord MAPPA fed me a full course meal drinks included.

Did you see my husband's looking all sexy and oh so fucking breedable?

I'm writing a separate post for Toji, someone sent me a request for breeding Sugar baby Toji and I'm working on it, this is all about my love, my darling, my glorious Nanami Kento. (I still have the Toji one in the works)

Like most men I crave I literally want to marry Nanami and make him my house husband.

I want to just keep him at home (full of my cum) and take care of him, provide for him mind, body and spirit. I want to make him feel safe, loved, cared for, appreciated, needed and genuinely wanted.

I want to come home from a long ass day of running a huge company, completely exhausted and wanting nothing more than my big strong man in my arms.

I would open the door and immediately be woken up by the most amazing smelling dinner and most importantly a fresh loaf of Kento's favourite thing ever, bread.

I would feel all the tension, anger and tiredness melt away as I closed the door, finally got to take off my shoes and coat.

I would place my bag down and when I look up it would be as if God themselves came down to this meaningless float rock we call Earth and blessed me, a nobody with an Angel of my own.

He would stand there in all his glory, his broad shoulders that seem to relax in my presence, those huge pecs that always seem to fit perfectly in my hands, that slim waist that I know for a fact is still bruised from last night, those muscular thighs that could definitely crush my skull, those veiny hands that used to be so dangerous, he hated that, hold me with such gentle touches.

I would smile and he would try not to, as usual keeping up with his ‘i'm always serious because I'm mature’ act that he puts on as a facade, he and I both know he's just a big softie that genuinely cares about his friends and will do anything to protect them.

I would say something cheesy like “Honey I'm home.” with a smirk because I know he hates those dumb romantic comedies.

His smile would instantly fade and he would roll his eyes and mumble “Idiot.” and walk away.

I would laugh and follow him inside, then with a teasing tone say something like “You're supposed to say ‘Welcome back Dear.’ and then kiss me.”

He would ignore me as usual and change the subject “Go wash your hands they're filthy and I baked a new type of bread, the lady at the bakery gave me the recipe.”

I would come out of the bathroom with freshly washed hands and take a seat at the dinner table and say something like “Yeah, smells good hun.”

He would hum in acknowledgement he's listening and bring over the delicious food he cooked and his new bread then place them on the table.

Then he would stand over me with his hands on his hips causing me to -on not normally casual settings- look up at him in confusion.

He would then place an arm on my chair and turn it, making me fully face him and I would happily admire the view.

He's wearing grey sweatpants and a black swear shirt with that cute pink apron I bought him that says kiss the cook.

I would smirk knowing he only wore that because his normal plain black aprons mysteriously disappeared when the pink one showed up.

He would then tangle his thick hands in my hair, suddenly tugging on it and making me groan in pain, the action immediately makes blood rush to my dick.

He would force me to look up at him and with that ever so stern expression say something fucking hot like “Now that you've washed your hands, didn't you read the apron?”

Then he would give me no time to respond as he leans forward and roughly captures my lips in a heated kiss.

I would easily give in and let him do what he wants, this always happens. In the beginning Kento takes charge, he knows exactly what to do to get me hard enough to fuck his pretty brain dumb.

Kento is a smart man, he knows how to get what he wants. He knows what he's doing when he straddle my lap.

Those thick thighs would flex around mine, squeezing me as his crotch 'accidently' grinds against mine.

He would tighten his grip on my hair, bringing his other arm around my shoulders and deepen the kiss, mumbling a fake apology, as if he doesn't want me to fuck him.

My hands would instinctively find his waist, I would say something like “Don't apologize love, take responsibility Kento.” then I would squeeze his waist and grind his plump ass on my fully hard dick.

He would moan and kiss me deeper, then he would start to roll his hips without my help. The friction from the fabric against our hard length sends shocks of pleasure through our entire bodies but it's not enough.

Then while Kento would be kissing me, his hand around my shoulder would travel down my chest and tug at my belt. Kento would let out a needy and frustrated grunt when my belt doesn't come off instantly.

He's not fucked out enough to be whining in desperation, no I'll have to work hard and drain those beautiful sounds out of him.

One of my hands would quickly travel to my belt, undoing it with ease. Then I would undo his belt, neither of us breaking the ruthless kiss or grinding.

We would unzip each others pants and I would easily lift both of our weights and slip my pants and boxers off, Kento would stand and take off his pants and boxers.

We would groan into the kiss as the cold air of our house brushes against both our erections, both our lengths hard already leaking bits of precum.

Both of us are still sensitive from last night/ this morning but we can't get enough of each other, it's like a drug it turned into an addiction..

It's not just fucking, it's the intimate act of sex, exposing yourself, allowing yourself to be vulnerable and connect on a level more than just our bodies.

He would straddle my lap again and his hand would waste no time and start pumping our lengths against each other.

The only sounds would be our aggressive kiss and the slick sound of Kento fisting both our lengths together with the aid of our pre.

My hands would dig into his fleshy ships, god the muscle will feel hard like marble but his skin would be soft like a fucking cloud.

He would moan into the sloppy, open mouth kiss and I would devour each and every honey dipped noise that falls out of his pretty little mouth.

My huge dick would be throbbing against his, his own length is an impressive 7 inches mine about 3 inches bigger.

It's not a big difference but my baby Kento is a big boy, I would just be a bit bigger but strong enough to pick him up and fuck him till he can't walk anymore.

Then Kento would lift himself off my hips and align my dick with his already prepped hole, then he would waste no time and slam himself back down on my entire length.

Fuck, his hands would instinctively latch onto my hair for some stability, loud moans and pretty whimpers would fall out of his mouth like a waterfall straight from heaven.

My hard length would twitch in pure bliss, surrounded by his soft, velvety walls, sucking me in and holding me hostage with a vice like grip, no matter how many times we fuck he's still as tight as a fucking virgin.

My tip would be poking and prodding at Kento's prostate dead on causing him to cum just from impaling himself on my dick.

Kento's thighs would flex around mine, his hole would tighten and he would pull my hair back, detaching from my lips just for his jaw to go slack and his toes curl as thick ropes of cum spurt out of his red rip, onto both our chests.

Kento would have a fucked out expression, his brain already fuzzy from cumming just once, his eyes would glaze over with tears, he's always been a cryer during sex, not that I'm complaining fuck I love it when he cries.

Kento doesn't cry about anything, he hates crying, the only time he cries is when he's too fucked out to think straight.

The pride of a cumming, crying Kento would straight to my dick as my grip on his hips tighten, bringing him back to reality.

Kento's vision would start to focus on me and he would see a devious smile, to anyone it would look sweet, loving almost but Kento knows it's anything but.

“Did you just cum?” I would ask in a mocking tone, bucking my hips up suddenly sending shocks of pleasure through Kento's body as more pathetic ropes of cum would spurt out from his still hard dick.

He would moan and try to shake his head, his grip on my hair would loosen and his hands would drop to my shoulders, fat tears would stream down his face as he would attempt to apologize “N–No! Fuc-k ’m s-sorry! Sorry~ AHH ah~ nghh~ s-sorr– ah ah ah– sorry.. ’m sorry~ ngh~”

He would mumble out his thoughtless apology, leaning down and kissing my neck, sucking, licking and biting as an attempt to make up for his transgressions.

I would scoff knowing his apology means nothing and let him keep mouthing at my neck, I would ignore my aching dick, it feels like my dick is gonna melt, it's so good.

I would lean in a pepper Kento's neck with gentle kisses, giving him a false sense that i'm not going to punish him then I would say something reassuring like “It's okay love, you don't have to apologize.”

He would continue sobbing and marking my neck, switching to 'thank you's' instead of 'sorry', his eyes would widen when he feels my smirk against his neck and my hands lifting his hips, slowly pulling out my dick inch by inch making him whine.

I would press my lips just below his ear and whisper “Just be a good husband and take your punishment~.” then without warning slam him back down on my length making both of us moan.

Kento would let out a high pitch moan, his body slumping forward, his head resting against my shoulder, his fingers tangling in my hair as tears streaming down his pretty face, his toes curling as incoherent and broken moans fall out of his mouth as I lift him up and slam him back down on my length over and over again.

I would groan as his hole suck's my entire length in every time I pull out till just the tip and slam him back, his warm, wet gummy walls would fit my entire length perfectly, the perfect cock sleeve and he's all mine.

That very thought would make me go crazy as I tighten my grip on his hips and slam him down once more, my tip prodding his prostrate dead on making his head fall back as his jaw falls slack and a strangled moan tries to escape his lips but no sound comes out. Fucking glorious.

“Fuck– such a good slut- taking all of me without complaining, such a whore, my whore~.” I would groan out, rutting my hips upwards so the tip of my cock massages Kentos prostrate, making his brain completely switch off.

“AH~! FUCK- NGH~ MMMHM~ C-CAN'T~! T-too mUch~! S-So gooood~! Ah~ FUCK- P-please~! Wanna CUM! P-PLEASE GOD! LeMme cUm~! WAnNa cuM~ PLEASE SIR~! F-fill me up~! FUCK PLEASE FILL ME UP~!” Kento would mindlessly whine, desperately pleading for release, his large hands clawing at my back as he rock his hips against mine, trying to push himself over the edge but because I'm a cruel bastard I wouldn't let him cum so easily, especially after he came the first time without permission.

Besides cock sleeves don't get to make requests, even if he did ask nicely.

I would snicker, looking at his flushed, desperate fucked out face, eyes rolling to the back of his head, face flushed dark shades of red, sweat glistening across his beautifully bruised skin, his mouth moving spilling an endless stream of pleas for release.

He would be too fucked out to notice one of my hands leaving his hips, only registering the movement when my big, rough hand takes ahold of his leaking shaft, the calloused feeling of my hand on his rock hard, oversensitive dick would send a jolt of electricity down his spine and his eyes with snap open.

He would have cum right then and there if it weren't for the fact my hand is squeezing the base of his dick, hard, making it impossible to actually cum but that doesn't dampen the sheer shocks of pleasure from racking his brain, causing a pathetic whimper as his dick twitches and he has a brain melting dry orgasm.

“Ah~ fuck! Look at you! You're squeezing my dick so fucking tight! Mhm~ good fucking boy! So desperate to milk my cock dry huh? Fuck~! You want it? You want my seed deep inside you-? Fuck, gonna be my cum dump? Yeah, yeah you're my fucking cum dump~! M’ gonna breed you full~! Gonna let daddy take care of you hmm? Let me fuck my cum so deep in that tight pussy~? Imagine how fucking good you'd look stuffed full of my cum~! Gonna get you fucking pregnant~ Stuff you full and plug you up so none of my cum gets wasted~! Ah~ yes-! Fuck fuck fuck~! So good~ So fucking good for me Kento~! Want me to fill you up~? THEN TAKE IT-!”

I would moan out as his hole spasms around my dick, like he actively trying to milk me for everything I'm worth and who am I to deny my glorious husband's request. I would feel my dick twitching, the white hot coil in my stomach ready to burst.

I would wrap my hands around his waist picking him up so just the tip of my dick is still inside his velvety walls before slamming him back down, shoving my entire length inside his perfect pussy, my dick twitching in pure bliss as ropes of sticky cum paint his insides white, spitting ropes of hot cum so deep inside him.

I would be mercifully and release his dick, pathetic ropes of hot, white and clear cum dripping down his softening dick as a powerful orgasm leaves him completely limp in my lap, my throbbing dick still nestled deep within him.

He would nuzzle his face against my neck, tears streaming down his face, his legs shaking as he wraps his arms around me, trying to ground himself as he babbles out a multitude of 'thank yous', still trying to catch his breath as sweat drips down his body.

I would wrap my hands around his trembling frame, fingers delicately tracing the bruises on his hips, my face also nuzzled against his neck as I place soft kisses against his burning skin, slowly bringing him out of the clouds while whispering how good he was, how perfect he is and how lucky I am to have him.

We would sit like that for a while, my soft dick buried deep inside his abused hole, wrapped in each other's arms, softly muttering praises to each other as we got out breathing under control and came down from our highs.

“You did so well my love, so good for me. Let's get you cleaned up, yeah?” I would suggest after we've been sitting there for about half an hour, he would have stopped trembling and gotten comfortable, slumped against me while he cock warms me.

He would tiredly nod, not having any strength to speak and I would put my hands under his thighs, slowly lifting him off my soft cock, he would groan at the feeling of my dick leaving his tight hole, my cum leaking out and dripping down his thighs.

I would get up and pick him up, his legs wrapping around my waist and his hands wrapped around my neck, his head resting on my shoulder as I carried him to the bathroom, still muttering soft praises in his ear.

We would get to the bathroom and I would put him down on the toilet seat, being gentle as I do so because I know hes sore, he would hiss as the cold lid of the toilet seat touches his bare ass but the cold feeling would be welcomed.

I would quickly start filling the tub with warm water, getting some bubbles and rose petals to make it even better because Kento deserves it.

Once the tub is full I would gently pick up Kento and deposit him in the tub, his no doubt exhausted body immediately sinking into the warm water, letting it loosen all his muscles.

I wouldn't smile as I get in behind him, putting both my legs on either side of his waist as he rests his back against my chest, my arms wrapping around his chest as I hold him close, once again muttering small praises into his ear.

Kentos body would go completely limp in the warm water, resting his head back against my shoulder, his eyes closed as he relaxes in my hold and lets me take care of him after fucking his brains out.

After a few minutes of simply soaking in the water and basking in each others presence I would start washing him, then wash his hair and gently finger all my cum out of his puffy hole, making sure not to overstimulate him too much.

Once we're both done bathing I would once again carry him to our room and gently lay him on the bed as I grab out matching pajamas.

Once we're both changed I'd climb into bed with him, our automatic position would be us spooning, me being the big spoon with my arm wrapped around his waist, holding his back flush against my chest as he curls up against me.

“You were such a good boy today Kento, you did so well. You deserve to rest now, Darling. I love you baby, get some sleep.” I would whisper in his ear, my voice filled with genuine love and admiration as I kiss the back of his neck, resulting in a pleased sigh from Kento.

“Mhm, I love you too daddy~ Goodnight.” he would mumble as he yawns, closing his eyes as he drifts off to sleep, his mind having been fucked free of any thoughts then slowly brought back down leaving him completely and utterly satisfied.

We would sleep soundly in each other's arms, knowing only safety and comfort in each other's embrace. I would fall asleep with a smile on my face, knowing I have my soulmate wrapped in my arms.

[absolutebl]

Hello, hi.

Next week is Cherry Magic's last episode and I'd like a suggestion as to what to watch next. Since last year I've watched some shows that I've enjoyed to different degrees. So far I've vibed more with the Japanese ones and only have watched two Thai shows: step by step and cherry magic.

I definitely like cherry magic more but I'd like to watch some more Thai bl, as I can see they're very popular, but honestly I don't know where to begin. I don't know if mentioning my favorite shows would help?

Old fashion cupcake

Cherry magic (JP)

I cannot reach you

Semantic error

Thank you so much in advance 🙌🏽

This is a perfect question for me!

I think you're vibbing more with Cherry Magic Th because it's following the original yaoi so closely, so it's def more JBL feeling story than it is ThBL.

Okay so your favorites are:

Old Fashion Cupcake

Cherry Magic original

I Cannot Reach You*

Semantic Error*

You've named some of my all time favorites, and 2 of my VERY few top 10s*. (For more of my top 10 JBLs, try here (pre 2023). For my top 10 KBLs, those are here. And my top BLs of all time are here.)

But you want Thai recommendations?

Before I start, off script, seek ye Seven Days. It's my favorite JBL of all time and it's absolutely amazing and very special. It's in two parts and worth every effor to try to find. Here's me talking about it.

First, let me triage some connective tissue.

It seems like you like soft and gentle BL. (Try this cozy list.)

You like JBL so that means higher filming standards and certain aura of authenticity.

Also a lower heat level.

Okay, here are 10 Thai BLs I think you should try, in order...

10 Thai BLs to try if you prefer soft Japanese BL

1 Until We Meet Again (YouTube)

UWMA is, without question, a work of narrative genius with a powerful and cohesive romantic backbone and stellar performances. It is (to date) the only Thai BL that I’ve rated a 10/10 predominantly on the basis of story structure. That said it is also very well cast (and it’s a BIG cast), with solid production values, and enduring pair branding and a softness and complexity that should appeal for a JBL stan. More of my feels on this on here.

trigger warning on the original trigger

2 I Feel You Linger in the Air (iQIYI or grey)

I truly loved this time travel romance. IFYLITA is an exquisite BL, from filming techniques to narrative framework (much like Until We Meet Again). Steeped in history and family drama it edges into lakorn AKA soap opera. This is an elegant and classy BL… from Thailand which normally doesn't even try for classy. The main couple (both as a pair and individuals) were excellent, particularly Bright (Yai) whose eye-work acting style is a personal favorite of mine. Pity about the ending. Oh it wasn’t that sad but it wasn’t great either. However, JBL isn't noted for sticking the landings either. Full review and discussion here.

3 My Ride (Gaga)

Thai BL grew up with this little pulp (the first ever to make my end of year top 10). It’s a truly lovely and special little show featuring the extremely rare pairing of sunshine/sunshine (AKA a cinnamon roll couple) plus mature explorations of relationships using one of the softest, sweetest and most innocent friends to lovers vehicles. Kindly, overworked doctor meets broken-hearted motorcycle taxi driver in an “other side of the tracks” slow burn romance. The support cast is excellent, making for great friendship groups and family dynamics. With honest queer rep that adds to, but doesn’t impede, the story, and genuine conversation about the nature of class, wealth, and classism, not to mention communication, honesty, and respect for boundaries, you can’t go wrong with this show. Full review.

My caveat with this one is, like Step by Step, it is a Thai pulp which mean production values will not be up to Japan's standards. So if you bounce hard off the style of the first few 2 eps, it doesn't get better, so drop it and move on.

4 A Tale of Thousand Stars (YouTube)

With great casting and cinematography this drama nods at BL tropes but manages to elevate them (and itself) with a strong mature story concept about a spoiled rich kid who gets a heart transplant and becomes a rural teacher in order to pay out survivor’s guilt. On the way he falls in love with a local park ranger and contends with his own classism and escapist tendencies. Everyone seemed to perfectly suit their roles and GMMTV made the most out of its stable. Combined with excellent production (and post production) values, 1000 Stars is without question GMMTV’s most mature, charming, and smart BL series. I think it should go down as one of the top BLs of all time. I feel safe recommending this one to friends and non BL watchers.

5 He's Coming to Me (YouTube)

Boy and ghost boy fall in love, must solve ghost’s murder. Peak pining but also pretty tame, features my favorite sweet but important coming out sequence. The third in my precious triumvirate of unbeatable Thai BLs, that are only nominally BL because the story, acting, and production values are so good. (others are UWMA & 1k*)

You don't mention any PNR or high concept, but I still think it's worth giving this one a try.

6 Moonlight Chicken (YouTube)

I enjoyed this complicated little show, even though it’s spectacularly messy gay with lots of shrapnel and authentic pain. I thought the leads (EarthMix from 1k*) turned in their most compelling performance to date. But it was GeminiFourth (My School President) who stole my heart. That said, the most interesting central relationship was that of Jim & Li Ming, their father-son angst mixed with evident affection made me tear up. This was more slice of life than it was BL, but it ended happily so I’m not mad at it. Full review here.

It's not as soft as you like, but you might try it anyway, because it is Very Good.

A note if you watch this and enjoy GeminiFourth, you could try their BL, My School President. I chose not to explicitly rec it to you because it's VERY Thai Bl with lots of comedy and slapstick, and you named prestige JBL and KBL (which are the anthesis of this). Taht said, MSP has no more or less than Japan's Cherry Magic, so you might enjoy it.

7 Make a Wish (grey)

An odd pull but I'm going with it. This PNR (from noted Y-novelist Sammon - Manner of Death & Triage) about a doctor who can see the dead and strikes a bargain with a wish-granting irreverent tree angel - naturally they fall in love. The Thai afterlife is incredibly bureaucratic but I enjoyed the premise and the unfolding of the story (it’s not predictable but still satisfying and with nice little twist). I like that the doctor is just gay af and has a fag hag bestie and everything. The cast is excellent but the comedic stylings could feel too overblown and tonally off. (But again no more than something like Japan's Cherry Magic.) It had sad parts and did make me cry but is ultimately happy with a great sex scene, good smiley kisses, and all the agency.

8 Bed Friend (YouTube -cut version, iQIYI - v high heat)

You didn't name My Personal Weatherman (a great high heat JBL from last year) but if you want to try some Thai-style high heat, this is your best bet. Office frienamies transition a flaming hot one night stand into a f-buddy relationship that is built on a puppy/cat dynamic (and kinks into it at one point). Our puppy is loyal, smitten, and protective with endlessly longing eyes, while our cat is snarky, prickly, and deeply damaged (ALL THE TRIGGERS). NetJames give lovely high-heat with excellent chemistry and tuned-in performances of surprising depth, the story ultimately fails them at little as it waffles and went off the rails. But that's a Thai BL thing. Full review here.

Triggers include: child abuse, attempted rape, family abuse

9 The Eclipse (YouTube)

This is a good show but the cast is excellent and the leads are absolutely flawless, which elevates it beyond just good. We got a nuanced and multifaceted burgeoning relationship: philosophical (and socio-political) conflict contrasted to moments of empathy; flirtation contrasted to moments of genuine affection, plus plenty of angst. This narrative is less about love than it is about courage and tenderness. However, near the end the pacing was off and the plot frustrating. Still, this is an enjoyable watch, with a finale that features verbal consent and a fun blooper reel.

10 Love By Chance (YouTube)

Okay I dithered a lot over this last one and finally chose this. Because in an intro to Thai BL you should have at least one trail by fire and that's bound to be a MAME offering.

AePete’s meet cute is one of the best ever put on screen. They are just so genuine and soft with each other, it’s hard not to love them from the first moment. All the best Thai BL tropes deployed (and there are a lot of them) are earned honestly by the narrative, including the seme/uke dynamic (such as it is). The characters are unique as this is a poor/rich pairing, where Ae is tough & scrappy, caring & protective, and probably demisexual, while Pete is timid, shy, lonely, and out gay (with his peers). The language is also glorious with Pete using formal (even old fashioned) register, while Ae is entirely rude. You can train your ear for Thai high & low registers with this show (in fact, it's why I started learning them). As surrounding characters point out, they shouldn't work together, and yet they're very much wonderful when they are together.

HOWEVER: You watch LBC for the mains, ignore the sides (trigger warnings), and don't bother with any of the follow ups and you'll be fine. AePete will remain in your heart for a really long time. They are still one of my all time favorite couples. Also (still) two of the Thai BL industry's most famous actors.

For those who are wondering, yes the last contender was, indeed, Bad Buddy. But I chose LBC purely on the basis of softness.

There it is.

I hope I have picked some winners for you and please loop back around and let me know how it goes?

I really want to know if any of these worked for you, this was such a fun challenge.

(source)

[averys-nightmare-zone]

since landing is closing down soon, i decided to take a quick break from SUPERSTRUCTURE (although i will be back don't you worry two fans) and made some fashion moodboards for the 14 fears from the magnus archives to accompany this post there will be some notes and insight on each collage under the cut.

the buried: the buried was really underutilized in the podcast imo. some of my favorite episodes revolved around the buried like lost john's cave and we all ignore the pit. i really hope this did it justice since jonny sims did not.

the corruption: oh my god this one was so hard to make. my google search history is full of terms like "bug infested dress", "moldy clothing" and "yucky fashion" the corruption girlies really seemed to like my last post so i felt obligated to get it right. i think i did okay.

the dark: making a black on black collage look decent is really hard 😭 I was originally going to go victorian for this one but ended up doing nu goth instead since I thought victorian fit a lot better with the end.

the desolation: this is one of my favorites. there's somthing so satisfying about combining ashy greys and black with orange it just tickles my brain. other than that, i don't really have any notes

the end: as mentioned earlier, i went with victorian mourning wear for the end. i mean queen victoria herself was in mourning and only wore black for forty years. that era is so synonymous with death it only felt fair to work its customs and fashion into my end board.

the eye: eye avatars are legally required to wear academic fashion. it just comes with the job description. i don't make the rules. have fun being jonathan sims

the flesh: this one really took me down a rabbit hole. first:, i could only find those anti-vegan shirts that your unemployed uncle wears to the family barbecue and then i came across this fashion designer and spent like an hour on her shop trying to figure out how she got her clothes to look like that. after that it took me another two hours to find all of the accessories. pinterest has been both my best friend and worst enemy over the course of this project.

the hunt: i am so sorry the supernatural gas leakage returned to my home when i made this and I age regressed into being 15 again. when i was making this i pictured it more as the trevor and julia flavor of the hunt instead of say, daisy. god breast america.

the lonely: this one was pretty easy to make once i got a handle on the color scheme. the aesthetic of the lonely has always striken me as a romanticization of the melancholy. think wanderer above the sea of fog. So i gave this one all the things i would romantasize about my life at my loneliest, which is why there's a teacup and a heart locket. the book was also a part of that, but it also doubles as a recreation of a leitner by theponderingalpaca on reddit.

the slaughter: yeah yeah i know the slaughter is supposed to be about war as well as murder, but forgive me for not making a fashion collage about military uniforms. that's really boring. i had just watched woodstock '99 before i made this though and decided to go more for that angry punk/metalhead fashion that korn was wearing in that concert. them and limp biskit are the closest we'll ever get to irl grifters bone.

the spiral: i made this moodboard twice. i know its crazy that the fear meant to represent insanity is hard to pin down, but i think i did it better the second time around. the first one read too much as regular kidcore/decora for my taste.

the stranger: i had to do this one last. i could not for the life of me figure out how to make a circus/uncanny fashion board without just doing clown fashion. i'm still not entirely sure how i feel about how it turned out, but at least the masks are cool.

the vast: vast avatars rise up!! this is a mike crew fan blog and i only wanted to base the fashion around him. he's in the top three list of guys i'm autistic about with elliott stardew valley and daniel powell from archive 81.

the web: not much to say here except if you are a web avatar you have to wear a cunty dress. it is simply non negotiable

thank you to @artmadval for giving me the idea to do this with your amazing fashion archives art, along with everyone else who went through all my yapping to get here. love yall!

[bronx-bomber87]

Happy Saturday wonderful fandom :) Ahhh the next in the line of goodies to come. This one doesn’t have a ton for them but doesn’t mean there isn’t absolute gems in it. So it'll be a littler shorter than the last one ha Also Aaron is amazingly hilarious in this episode. I love him to death. Let us get started.

5x09 Take Back

We start off with Tim being Watch Commander while Grey is miserable in NYC ha Things get immediately awkward when Chris arrives. Still clueless as ever asking Tim of all people about Lucy’s taste in houses. I mean if you don’t know her taste at this point should you really be buying a house together? Tim looks intrigued when he says he needs his opinion then it gets so awkward when it's about a house...

Tim is so very uncomfortable when he asks his opinion. Knowing this is going NOWHERE for Chris. I’ll never forget this hilarious post I saw about this scene after it premiered. I couldn't find it this time around. Had the lyrics from anti-hero by Taylor swift. ‘It’s me. Hi. I’m the problem it’s me.’ You ain’t ever getting that house with her because of that man sitting there LOL Idk why that post made me laugh so hard but it did. It stuck with me clearly haha

It’s so very weird Chris comes to Tim for this. It's obvious he knows Tim knows her the best. Crazy to me he's not threatened at all by that fact. Clearly he isn’t if he’s coming to Tim for advice. Blows my mind how blind he is. Lucy comes in asking what they’re talking about? Chris tells her he found THE house. Lucy looking as uncomfortable as ever at this news. Saying he's going to call the realtor and call her later. Lucy's high pitched 'I can't wait...' Couldn't be more awkward if she tried.

He gives her a kiss on the cheek and leaves. Tim giving that good ole fake Sanford smile when he does. Tim's face crack me up. Like he stole your girl and you have no idea you putz heh Also just so on brand for Chris to not see how uncomfortable Lucy was. He’s been blind their entire relationship It’s unreal. You can also see how much Tim hates seeing him kiss her. Even if it’s on the cheek.

It’s almost a grimace really as he watches it. Probably thinking of all the ways he could easily kick his scrawny ass haha That fake smile begging for Chris to leave the room so this awkwardness can pass. How Chris doesn’t pick up on either of these vibes I don't know. But then we call him the clueless clown for a reason don’t we?

Lucy doesn’t look comfortable till Chris leaves the office. Tim asking 'How the breakup is going?' HA Cleary it's going well Timothy...Lucy tells him she’s in the planning stages. Just reviewing the literature. Classic Lucy response. Wanting to plan this out completely before pursuing it. Tim telling her a psychology journal isn’t going to tell her how to break up with Chris. I mean he's not wrong.... It's just a bandaid you have to rip off even if its uncomfortable as hell.

He’s so matter of fact with his wording. Using a sports metaphor to explain how she should do it. Makes me wonder if he's actually done this before? Ha She’s adorable in her reply of saying ‘Playbill?’ She truly has no idea what he’s talking about. It’s too funny. It's comical really Tim giving her advice on how to break up with Chris. So you know he can date her haha

Tim has been very patient in all this but you can see him getting a little antsy about it. It is interesting how full circle this moment is. He set them up in 4x12 and now he’s ready to help break them down in this 5x09. Tim is just so ready for Lucy to do this cause he’s anxiously waiting to be with her. It’s pretty damn cute if you ask me. He’s trying to be patient but also is like can we hurry this along a bit?

Lucy says that’s too cruel she wants to handle it her way. No matter how this goes down Chris is going to be hurt though. It's how breakups go there is alway someone who walks away more upset about it. Her empathy taking the front seat in this decision. Where Tim just wants her to rip the bandaid off. Get this over with ASAP.

This is where we see little bit of Tim’s self doubt kick in. It's written all over his face when he asks her if she's having doubts? Worried she’s delaying this because she is having second thoughts about him. About them. Lucy immediately squashes his anxiety with her reply. Shooting massive heart eyes his way as well. She wants Tim to know she’s all in just like he is. That there is nothing for him to worry about.

I love how sure Lucy looks when she tells him 'No, I'm not'. She is so certain this is what she wants. Needs him to know this as well. Not a doubt in her mind about this whole thing. She just has stuff to work out with this breakup first. The certainty in her eyes is everything. Nothing makes more sense to her in this moment than him.

That confidence of hers is why Tim relaxes the way he does above. His whole body draining of the tension he was carrying. His cute smile saying ‘Good.’ Could this man be more of a soft puppy for her? Look at him. That hope and excitement back in his eyes. Lucy replying in kind with her own 'In love 'gaze. They’re both all in and it makes my heart very happy. Also they’re having a full on flirt session in Grey’s office for everyone to see.

I adore Tim being so open and vulnerable in this scene. Making sure she wasn’t backing out. The same Tim who couldn’t communicate in his other relationships to save his life. But with this he is checking in with her. Letting Lucy know his stress about her not breaking up with Chris yet. Lucy assuages his worries instantly. When it’s the right one the harder stuff seems a little easier. More natural. Lucy sensed that panic and instantly calms him with her words and heart eyes. Gah so good. Look at these idiots in love. I just adore them so very much.

This next scene with Aaron is pure gold. I love him so much he cracks me up. Never expected him to be as funny as he is. He notes how quiet she is being and is asking what's going on? Lucy letting him know she needs to break up with Chris. First off like to say we are all Aaron when he says ‘Finally.’ To her breaking up with Chris. Yesssss and Hallelujah finally breaking up with the clown. Nails it even further when he says Chris was never on her level. I mean yeah he never was. Not ever.

Aaron is speaking for the whole Chenford fandom in this moment LOL Chris had nine lives with her and they've finally run out. Aaron's reaction is the best part of this scene. I love that he knew where Lucy's heart was and it obviously wasn't with Chris. He knows it’s with Tim 100 percent. Like most people in their world do. Tim is her equal in so many ways it’s insane. Chris could never compare as Lucy figured out last ep.

Aaron tells her they can practice her breaking up with him. So it’s much easier when the time comes. It’s not a bad idea tbh. This is where it gets hilarious. Lucy brings up them looking at houses. Aaron kinda judging her for letting get as far as looking at houses. Telling her 'Yikes....' HA Tell us how you really feel my man. Lucy reprimanding him saying that is not helpful....Oh Aaron I love you so very much.

Lucy starts her speech trying to find her footing in what she is trying to say. She looks over at Aaron in the middle of it and see he is crying. lol If you didn't laugh at this scene you're dead inside. It's so damn funny. Lucy asking him WTF he is doing? Aaron telling her he is channeling Chris's pain LMFAO I mean he's not wrong she had to be prepared for an emotional response. It's just the way he went about this that is so hysterical. He is having way too much fun with this.

Telling her they should do angry next. I'm rolling. Lucy is doing some channeling of her own. She is channeling her man in this scene. It’s so funny. So aggravated with his role playing in this. Wondering why she asked for his advice in the first place? hahaha They then get a call about a 'Navi'. Lucy is so confused. Aaron geeks out and says it's from Avatar. Tells Lucy she should ask if it’s full grown. The look she gives she is channeling her husband again so much. ‘Aaron, it’s a fictional character...’ LMAO

I really love this ending scene with them. Aaron wants to do one more practice run with her. Lucy tells him she doesn’t need it. (Oh but you do....) That she’s just going to go with her gut on this one. It sounds like a solid idea in the moment but it's honestly the worst thing to wing it. Especially when it's something this intense.

When something is this emotional the right words tend not to just come to you IMO. They sure don't for me. I love him being brutally honest with her about it LOL Saying it’s a terrible idea. That he likes the sentiment but this isn't going to end well. I mean he’s not wrong as we will see here in a bit. Lucy once again channeling Tim in this moment. Cutting him off from saying anything else and just tells him good night haha

We get to the breakup scene we’ve all been waiting for. Lucy is bumbling and awkward. Not knowing where to start. Chris once again blind as a bat. He has no idea why she’s acting this way. Lucy curses Aaron for being right about this moment. Saying she should practiced more LOL I adore her panicking and defaulting to Tim’s playbook advice haha idk what’s funnier that or her being shocked Chris knows what she means by saying that.

All that prep and thinking this out and she went with her man’s advice on how to end this. This makes me giddy to no end. I bet you it’s cause Tim was on her mind from the minute Chris entered the apartment. My guess is that is part of the reason she fell back on his advice. Literally the most Lucy Chen thing ever to use it then be surprised Chris knew what she meant. I love her sfm haha

Chris stumbles around shocked as hell she’s breaking up with him. He seems so very blindsided by the whole thing. I mean if the man opened his eyes for once he wouldn’t be that shocked…But this Chris we are talking about. Lucy tries to get him to talk to her more. Saying they should sit down and talk this out. Chris just bails not wanting to talk at all. Not wanting to fight for her at all. Just takes off like a child who didn't get what he wanted.

Now I’m ok with this. Obviously we all are. Just goes to show you Tim was willing to fight for her and Chris wasn’t in the end. Lucy said it was over and he just left. I mean he wasn’t wrong there isn’t much to talk about out. She doesn’t love him. But still no fight in him at all after Lucy does this. Just folds like a cheap suit. A clueless clown from beginning to end...

We’ve reached the scene of the ep that made us all swoon and squee. I remember feeling so anxious to get to this scene. I had to re-watch the episode to truly appreciate it all. I was too antsy to get back to them sharing a screen. I was so damn giddy this was the place we were in. They spent the majority of this episode apart. So all I could focus on was her coming back to him in this moment.

I adore Lucy coming back into the station to talk about the breakup right away. Needing to share this news with him as soon as she could. I love that she returned to work just to tell him about this. So anxious to get back to Tim after it was done. Lucy wanted him to know as soon as she could it was over with Chris. Knowing he was just as anxious as she was about the breakup. It's sweet how he tentatively approaches her when she says why she is back.

He wants to be understanding about it. Seeing if she wants to talk about it more. Doesn't just want to jump the gun and bulldoze her feelings about the matter. Lucy isn't there to chat about that though. She wants to cash in on him asking her out. Because she couldn’t wait another second without him asking her out again. They're both so damn nervous and sweet in this scene. Fidgety and excited about the prospect of their future. Lucy messing with her hands the entire time as she explains the breakup. Tim keeping his distance while she explains it.

Gah I love her fidgeting near her ring as she approaches Tim. Anxiously awaiting for him to ask her out again. Lucy’s nervous way of reminding him to ask her again like they decided. How she looks into the bullpen before approaching Tim. Saying ‘So…’ He looks nervously excited by her doing this. Eric the king of expressions strikes again. The way his eyes go to check the bullpen as well before refocusing on her. He isn't sure what she is going to do in this moment.

The entire station can see into this office. He looks so friggin cute in his nervousness. I love that that she makes him nervous like this it's so adorable. Lucy gains her confidence and looks him directly in the eye flirty as can be. Asking him if there's something he wants to ask her? The whole purpose of her returning to work is to secure their date. Telling him about the breakup was the catalyst yes. But truly she was wanting to hear him ask her out again.

Tim see's her confidence and starts shaking off his own nerves. Replying in a sassy manner. Their banter the undercurrent of this moment going forward. Fueling them with the courage to say what they want to. Tim can't help being playful and sassy with her replying ‘I can’t remember.’ Doing that cute smirk of his that I love so very much. Wanting to push her buttons a little because well it's Tim.

Lucy is affectionately violent in her reply haha Look at her she is beaming with adoration. She loves this goober in front of her so very much. ‘Don't make me hurt you.’ Because she would legit hurt him if she had to in this moment haha I saw a funny parallel from this to her ripping that tape off in 4x07. She'll do it Timothy LOL Don't test your girl.

I love how he gets serious after she says this. It's the way he slowly moves towards her. That intent look on his face in the first one. *fans self* gah. Then in the second one the way he melts for her. In a way only Lucy gets to see. Asking with as much giddiness and excitement as I ever seen in this man. "Do you wanna go out on a date? Look at this puppy of a man. He is beyond excited to ask her this question again. Knowing now he will get a yes with no stipulations this time around. There is still a little nervous hesitation in his delivery which is precious.

Lucy is bursting at the seams with absolute giddiness when she replies ‘Yeah. I do.’ So happy he's asked her again. How one looks when the man they love asks them out. There’s so much to love about this scene. He’s asking her out in the Watch Commanders office. I love that sfm. Both ecstatic they’re finally going on a date with nothing holding them back now. They’re at work and have to restrain themselves from being too obvious. Which you know they suck at heh

My god anyone looking in on them in that last gif could see how in love these two are. They're so excited just to be around each other right now. The way they’re just standing there looking into each other’s eyes with the dopiest in love smiles. I cannot. I remember thinking the break was gonna take forever to get through. What a time to be alive watching this the first time I remember. LOL

~~~

Side notes -non Chenford

Is it just me or does John have more chemistry with Genny than he does Bailey? Thought I’ve always had from this ep. Probably just me but I always thought they had solid chemistry.

Greys have a ROUGH SL in NYC.

Celina also has a hard time in the ep. With their suspect dying in custody. She has a tough rookie year.

[vqrtualheartss]

Hii

Every Sunday, you scanned the church's congregation for a familiar face ― Aunt Rio's son, Miles. It seemed as though she barely managed to drag him every other week given the nonchalant look he always wore. You held him as a classification of a hallway crush, never daring to do much than pretend not to stare from the other side of the alter unless you were ready to meet the god you served. Well, the God your whole family served; yeaa, you're the pastor's daughter. And I think we know how that goes, being expected to keep Sunday school each and every week, not to mention that the simplest things were prohibited like music, talking in a "ghetto" way, blah blah blah yaddi yaddi yadda. And your absolute favorite ― always keeping your appearance up to posh

"I will not have my eldest dressing like a jezebel or some boy in my own home. Go and take that off right this instant"

Were the ever present words spoken by your mother if you made the mere mistake of wearing shorts or sweats' around the house. If anything, life felt like a Greenleaf episode and not in a good way. Ranging from the secrets and scandals behind the chapel's closed doors or the fact that multiple administrators like to front that they had the perfect, picturesque family. You couldn't tell which was worse; that they had nothing like that or the fact that your own family―. Nah, in this house you had no family, not since your sister Asaria left.

With tears in both of your eyes, she barely mouthed the words "I'm sorry" to you. It could be the fact you were just eight years old to register what she was apologizing for or that the tears bound your vision so badly you mistook the statement for something else. That couldn't be it, you could see clearly the disgust-filled scowls on your parents faces and they held you back. And like all the stupid rules enforced, your family forbid you from ever contacting her, brainwashing you that they were only trying their bests at raising you. Therefore, you pushed Asaria's words and underlying warning at the back of your mind, convincing yourself that she was just paranoid.. yea. Let's just say that all the delusion wore off when it was your time to take the mic.

You never thought that they'd do this, it felt unreal, like some book with a fucked up plot. But it was happening, you were being wed off at the mere age of seventeen. You know that like all the previous fights, you'd never win. Then again here you stood, behind the chancel, arguing about the dominant latter of your life. Did it even feel like you had one of your own? You felt like a puppet being induced to what was 'for your own good' as you helplessly bantered with your parents Mr. and Mrs. Larkspur

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"If both parents agree to it, you may be wed" Some mother you are "I was barely sixteen last week, how am I eligible to get married" "I suggest you fix your tone young woman" "THAT'S THE LEAST IMPORTANT THING RIGHT NOW"

The frilled dress I wore swayed with the movements my hand made justifying why what they're doing is absolutely atrocious. Why isn't stuff like this illegal? Tears swung from my lash line as I flashed my face from my fathers wavering hand meant to do nothing but harm. He wasn't one to put his hands on anyone but when he felt desperate or threatened to show dominance; like right now. My mother held onto her coat tightly with that same disgust she watched Asaria flea with whilst my father balled his fist. The claps of the congregation started to die down. Grunting, he walked out onto the nave, but not before giving me a scorning glare. She stood unmoved, dragging me to our house attached to the church by my arm to give the same lecture she had over a thousand times.

"YOU have full knowledge as to why we're doing this. You're father and I are growing grey and we need someone to take over the legacy of the church and with you as our eldest we cannot let you rule over alone or by yourself"

Because I'm a girl? I managed to keep up a neutral look, not an angry or sad one. I couldn't bear to show any emotions, they stripped me of them. The teachings of her scolding me for frowning or crying stood bold in the forefront of my mind. You'd think that she'd come with something along the lines of "Strong girls don't cry" or some crap like that but nope, her reasoning was that "Smiling and frowning makes frown lines and we need to look perfect" I shook away the thoughts as I listened to my mother spur verbal diarrhea.

"If I could I'd marry off your sister because unlike you, she has sense but you know what the church would thi―" "What is wrong with you― Nyla's been sixteen for only three months― Are you insane―"

She slapped me hard, a reminder that she― "Will not tolerate disrespect from a child". As much as I wanted to retaliate, I held out, rubbing the left side of my face as she continued.

"You WILL listen to you us and meet Mr. & Mrs. Nightingale's son tonight"

Oh great, the Nightingales. Another perfect family, I wonder how'd they feel if they found out that their precious son was really up to. What's his name again? Jevaughn? Jaxon? Do I even care? Mmcht

She did a once over of me before adding "Be in the church in less than 5, you will be leading choir today" Didn't even ask me to

We went separate ways; my mother to my father and I to a powder room. Composing myself once more, I hurried inside the church in front of the choir loft, feeling relief when I spotted not a questioning stare. I've learnt to hide how I felt truly behind a faux smile quite well If I do say so myself, but no matter how much I tried my eyes remained glassy― tears threatening to betray thr façade at any moment.

I gave a tight-lipped smile to the congregation as they welcomed my appearance with cheers. I laughed when Tía Rio moved to the front row in midst of the clapping, she waved to me and I did likewise but a little more erratically. She's an amazing person to know and really a nice woman, a great woman that does her best for her family. It painfully excruciates me how these women could sit on her name and belittle her as if they were someone to look up to. She's definitely a better individual than those in this church that like to claim they are combined. But the day I go off on them, I'll let them know.

After thanking the usher for the microphone I ran back to the choir unsure which song to perform. A few members suggested traditional songs and favorites, one stuck out most to me though: Man in the mirror by Michael Jackson. I bit my lip contemplating the decision, we just started to sing (somewhat) church-related pop songs in church so I was a bit hesitant; but as I said, relating, some of these people need to hear it.

I announced the choice to the band members before returning to my position, clearing my throat as I scanned the audience. No, I wasn't scared, I've done this too many times to be. Receiving a signal from the drummer I allowed the choir to voice the opening, joining when they started the second verse. Eventually, we approached the high note as I begged for my throat to not close up. I looked around the room.

“I'm starting with the man in the mirror I'm asking him to change his ways And no message could've been any clearer If you wanna make the world a better place Take a look at yourself and then make a change”

You're staring

You're still staring

Despite the song being half-finished everyone started to clap, giving a literal standing ovation. Did some of them finally heed the meaning? Coming down from the high, I took focus in my vision. Was I looking at Miles this whole time? Widening my eyes at the realization had him chuckling, he waved before continuing to clap.

First time without a stoic expression and I'm wishing he smiled more. I put a palm in the middle of my face to loosely hide my smile before waving back. A few of the young men waved even though it wasn't directed to them. Looking over to their spots Miles and I shook our heads.

Behind me, my father cleared his throat, the harsh sound reminding me of my earlier troubles. My expression died down quickly. Instead of beside my family I sat in the first row in the choir loft. Miles moved to the front of the church to his mother who began to question him about something. She turned to me and smiled, speaking softly "You did amazing" Although I couldn't hear too well over the preaching, I pieced out her words, thanking her in return.

Usually, I'd be somewhere discreetly using my phone but it was different today. My eyes moved back and forth from my father to Miles who did likewise; giggling each time we made eye contact at same.

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Even though I didn't want to, I gathered the strength to partake in the seemingly mandatory post-service meet and greet

"'Ah dear, meet one of my good friends. Robert this is (y/n), (y/n), Robert"

The man whom he was introducing looked worn out, wrinkles showing in every crevice in his face despite (from what I've heard) being in his late 30's. He wore gold grills on his bottom canines, which I would hate to say matches well with his black and white suit.

"Hello, I'm (y/n). Pleasured to meet you"

"Likewise"

His voice came off hoarse, sounding as if someone who had smoked for a week straight finally took a breath.

Even though opting for a simple handshake, the man dragged me into an uncomfortable hug. And I mean uncomfortable, his hands trailed all about my back, quickening its pace heading underneath the mid-back vest I wore. I pulled back, crushing the man's toes with my heel as I did.

"I'm so sorry"

I innocently smiled at the grunting man that held onto his loafer tightly. With the hand resting on his left forearm I would've pinched him if my father didn't take him away. I saw my mother introducing Nyla to some boy of her age. Ew.

About 10 footsteps away I felt a warm hand on my shoulder that sent me tumbling. I probably would've fell if I wasn't caught by the hug afterwards.

"Tía Rio" I paused, resting a hand on my chest before continuing

"Hola hija"

She pulled me back into her embrace before stepping backwards.

"You were absolutely amazing out there― as always" "'Thank you tía, that truly means a lot to me" "Oh hush, I know you've heard that about a thousand times now" "Well, it means a lot from you"

We laughed a bit before she started to pat down her bag. "Before I forget" She dipped her hand into its largest compartment before taking out something wrapped in colorful tissue paper. "Here"

Handing it over I could tell by the texture that it was some type of food― cookies probably. At this point they were a symbolic part of our relationship.

------------ Flashback twin

The cold December air on the exposed skin on your knee was doing you no good. Said cold wind was what had you like this. With a snotty-nose you were headed to your mothers purse for a tissue. And when she was nowhere to be found, you frantically ran around in search for her, convinced this was some sick game of hide-and-seek.

Sitting in a random slide with your feet up to your chest, you felt tears rush when a boy with hair slightly longer than the others saw you crying and hurriedly turned back.

"If it's another stray cat we're not keeping it" "No mama"

The same boy came through the other end of the slide, pointing at you. Not knowing what else to do, you hid your head between your legs and chest, bringing it up at sudden speech directed to you.

"My mommy says you should come down. She wants to see you"

Bringing your head up by the slightest, you could see the boy's extending hand in front of your face. "You have to get out because mommy's too fat to fit in" The woman who you figured to be his mother had her mouth agape, her shocked expression turning soft when you two started to laugh.

Holding onto his hand you both slid down, the adrenaline numbing the pain in your knee. Immediately after standing up she noticed your blood stained shorts, rushing you to a nearby bench.

"¿Qué tal? How did this happen?" Even though opening your mouth for words none came out, 6-year-old you unsure how to explain the situation. Understanding your frustration she spoke up. "It's okay, you don't have to tell me" She gave you a comforting smile. Which in return had you smiling, then her son, revealing the front tooth he recently lost.

After she finished bandaging your knee she began to put her belongings back into her bag, leaving out just one thing. A floral pink and white decorative tissue. She handed it to her son who quickly hid it behind his back the moment it touched his hand.

"I wanted the purple paper mama. Pink is for girls" His mother crossed her arms, tilting her head "Do you want me to take them back?" He shook his head no, bringing out the stuffed paper with his free hand. His other was still laced into yours. He placed the tissue beside you, jumping up onto the bench so the pastries sat between you two. He brought one up to your face.

"Want one?" Being thoroughly instructed to never take anything from anyone in public made you decline― or try to. Opening your lips to refuse politely, he pushed quarter of a cookie into your mouth.

"MILES―" "Yes, mama" He smiled innocently, turning towards his mother. She stood shaking her head in disapproval, sighing in relief that you didn't choke.

"Do you like them?" He paused waiting for an answer, receiving a satisfied hum, he gloated "My mom made them" He looked at the cookies still stacked high "Want more?"

Even though saying yes once to the question, Miles seemingly made it a priority to ensure there were always enough cookies in case he ever saw you again. Given the amount of times he woke up to a fresh batch and reminded his mother of his constant request, it became robotic like clockwork to her.

''Mama, did you make enough for-'' ''Yes, I made enough for you and your little girlfriend"

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"Yeah huh?" The sudden high pitch of her voice brought me back to Earth. The one place I don't want to be right now "This is my son, Miles. I'm sure you remember him"

I hummed in response, turning my back to my family's faces to draw any unwanted press while shaking his hand. Retracting his hands he gave that signature one-dimple smile which I felt shy to return.

"Nice to meet you" He raised a brow

"We're met before, did you forget?" I literally proposed to you with a ring pop

"Ah my bad, we have to leave― Early shifts at the hospital"

"I completely understand, get home safely" She placed her hands over my balled fists, giving me a bright smile before departing. Her son lingering behind her followed in tow, waving as he left.

"What was that (y/n)? I hope you're not talking to those people outside of church matters" My mother stood closely behind my back, so she could freely show her disgusted expression without judgement. I turned to meet her wild looking eyes of age 38.

And I thought ursula didn't exist

"No mother, I would never do such things" She said nothing but a hum, which on her part would be 'not gracing me with an answer'

"Be at the south porch at evening. We have something to discuss"

What the heck did I do.

In the Larkspur mansion there's a total of four sub-buildings: The north porch used for house-warmings, general church meetings and such, pool house to the east, church to the west, and the south porch. The south meant nothing good, being the farthest sectioned from the house it was an analogy for things to be said in the dark and only in the dark, something grave like an affair. Things like that, things that could change a person's life and given by the term 'we', probably meaning my father, mother and I. I know that whatever they had to tell could change my life for the better or worse. But by now we know that anything 'for the better' would be just for them so that's not even an option.

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Sitting down with his legs spread my father watched as my mother pranced back and forth the hardwood floor, prepping herself to say whatever it was. She looked as if the words she were about to speak pricked her tongue before they came out and whenever they did. I watched with a blank expression, hands crossed on my stomach as the fluffed material radiated heat to every crevice of my body.

"Cecelia" His paitience wore thin as the whiskey from the glass ran low. My mother repeated the same words she had over 100 times since we've been here

"This is ridiculous, certainly there's something else" My father sucked his teeth reverting all the attention to him and he chugged the last of the liquor. Although not meaning to I stared into my his eyes with some hope he'd continued what my mother couldn't start. His stare got intense, hardening every minute the contest went on.

My grandmother always told me that "It come like puss bruk coconut in yuh fada yiy" meaning that he was one with seemingly dry eyes or that he was an ill-mannered person to hold a stare to absolutely no limits or regard to who it be with. She always told me that it was something I inherited from him but unlike my father it looked better on me.

"You're changing schools"

I swear to you my eyes nearly dropped out of their sockets is a sign?

"Recently there's been a spike in teenage pregnancies at CHS and with such a tainted image we cannot have you attending there so, we had arranged a transfer for you to Brooklyn Visions"

Despite the sudden relief radiating from my body I sat still, muttering a compliant response before getting up to the exit. "And you're meeting with-" My father got cut off by my mother placing a hand on his upper thigh. Through my peripheral I could see her smirking as I went off.

I love my parents right, but sometimes (most times really) I swear— I'm going crazy in this house

--------------------------- like 2 days later

If it's one thing I know though— the sexism is gonna get you right. Long nails, lashes makeup and everything was one point but maybe there was one teeny tinyy thing you despised, clothes. You knew that Cinderella princess wardrobe of yours was too much and so you were going to argue for it.

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As we were leaving I contemplated asking for some new clothes — speak now or forever hold your peace.

"Mother "

"Y/N?"

"Aren't we getting new clothes"

"And why would we do that? You have a plethora of dresses back home"

"That's it, the dresses are a bit.... pricy and might get the attention of the wrong crowd. I mean other than the great neighborhood around Brooklyn Visions there's its opposite too" I sucked in a breath knowing that this could go one of two ways— I could get what I want or they'd put an ankle monitor on me.

"I guess I'd never look at it from that perspective. Atleast that brain of yours works"

Excuse me.

Despite that little backhanded thing I smiled, that's 1 point for Y/N.

--------

So that's it, I'm too lazy to decorate ATM but I will

[bookwormstarwarsfan]

A few days ago I saw some Ducktales here and decided to write about one of my favourite Hungarian historical moments, but then I realized that the anniversary is in less than a week, so I scheduled this post exactly on the 30th anniversary even for the minute, at 18:08 CET. (Edit: fuck Tumblr, it messed up scheduling, but second part is on its way)

So let me to present you the story of the Ducktales generation of Hungary, the children born in the 80s, who were traumatized by the aforementioned cartoon exactly 30 years ago, on December 12th 1993 at 18:08.

The year is 1993. The ill-fated little Central-European Hungary is barely out of the more than 40 years of terrible communist dictatorship, it only elected it's first in decades democratic government in 1990 and the last occupying Soviet soldier left the the country in the Summer of 1991.

The first media war is on full rage, meaning that there is still only two, government owned, tv channel, (and time to time HBO, if you were at the right place at the right time) but unlike during the socialism, Western programmes are allowed. This two facts together mean that every time there is a kid's programme on, practically every children who has access to tv, watches it.

Every Sunday afternoon is for Walt Disney, but most importantly for Ducktales. This one has a chokehold on every kid, the absolutle favourite. (Interestingly never became popular for any other generations in Hungary, unlike other iconic programmes, despite being aired a few more times in the following decades.)

So we get to the Sunday of December 12th. Allegedly 2.2 million children is in front of the tv, accompanied by many adults. The episode "A Whale of a Bad Time" is at its emotional high. Scrooge McDuck (or as we know him, Uncle Dagobert) is histerically jumping on the dinner table, because the ship with his money is lost. At 18:08 one of the most famous last sentence is said: 'A sea monster ate my ice cream!!!'

The screen goes black and white, the programme stops, blackness, then the grey channel logo shows up and Chopin's Funeral March starts playing. For long minutes nothing happenes, except of course for the hundreds of thousands of kids having a temper tantrum. By the time the March is coming to the end, even more adults are in the room, either because of the screaming kid or the sudden change of mood.

After 2 whole minutes again a moment of blackness, then a fat, old man in thight black suit comes up with a flag in the the background.

For many of the children watching, this was the first time to ever come to contact with politics, and for some of them, with death. Because the man, Péter Boross, who at that first moment still unbeknownst to the audience had already been the Prime Minister for less than an hour, had an important message:

'Fellow citizens, Hungarians, here at home and around the world. Destiny gave me a painful duty. Dr József Antall, Prime Minister of Hungary today after 5 pm passed away.'

Of course the passing of the reigning Prime Minister would be breaking news everywhere, especially if he is the first democratically elected one in more than 40 years, but this event became more important for a different cause.

[currymanganese]

Here's another Sydcarmy song guys, 'Ajai Finale', it's used in Season 1 Episode 2 when Syd approaches Carmy with a business plan and COGS breakdown for revitalizing The Beef, which he brushes off initially. The spoken word intro of the song is not included in the episode, but it mentions a minor domestic dispute between the song's clothing obsessed protagonist (Carmy and his denim collection ring a bell anyone?) and his WIFE:

The full lyrics to the song are below, but the line that stood out to me most was,

"At my wife's business meeting and I'm showing them rap..." which plays as Syd enters the office with the COGS....

So.......This could just be me, but the next time the showrunners say Syd and Carmy are meant to be platonic I will just laugh and go about my day! 🥴

Lyrics from here:

[Intro Serengeti]

So at the Black Caucus Dinner, Dr. Mitchell is talking to Ajai about the reduction of drug costs, making it mandatory for federally qualified health centers to accept Medicaid

And then Ajai opens his phone and shows him the Doernbecher 8s,  and asks him, "Have you ever won a shoe lottery?"

Looks to his left and talks to Dr. MacKenzie also and asks him, has he ever won a shoe lottery?

Pro-shoppers guided by a website, Ajai is crazy to his wife. She knows that once a special ringer buzzes, Ajai is off. She knows there's no work emergency. She looks in the trunk in hope that the bags won't be there or a cedar closet in the basement

He holds up the entire line in security. Sprawls out his gown, and it won't fit inside the TSA body scanner. His wife, who's already at the gate, texts him his flight has left. She's furious, she's holding back tears. He texts "wa-wha-ha-jaaa-ha, did we put the extension poncho hanger in your bag or mine?"

Frustrated wife, kicking and banging on the master bathroom door, "Ajai, please honey, we're gonna be late, we're gonna miss the flight, you look fine, you look fine Ajai, you look fine, you look fine Ajai." "Uhhu," Ajai muffled through the bathroom door, "We have plenty of time, you don't need two hours for a domestic flight. Oh, who the heck is flying to Cleveland anyway?" Wife sighs, "He's such a weirdo." Twenty minutes later Ajai exits. "Oh sorry babe, I couldn't find my gloves. Uh, are you ready to go? Why are you crying?"

[Verse: Serengeti]

But I should be good

I see the Benetton green

They've been gone for minute

This collab is a dream

Grey Poupon had a thing

Eating meals in a car

It made you feel a certain way

When you held that jar

That's what I can achieve

I feel the same about drops

I feel a bit rare in the shoes and the watch

Or those Preston socks

Or that just don hat

At my wife's business meeting and I'm showing them rap

Question, "you seen this?"

Question, "you seen that?"

Cuz there's questions 'bout the culture that just ain't facts

Some people are cows and they sit and they graze

I'm like a hummingbird cause I'm simply amazed

We're all on earth just bidding our time

Some people like to read, some people like wine

Some people like both

I love my wife and my coat

Balenciaga trench angled words and my tote

I like to move to the rhythm cause I'm feeling engaged

If I chose a colorway, it'd be purple and sage

I like to chill on the yacht, talk to the people at drops

About the top ten cops they surprised that they got

Cause I got a spot

Number one on the list

It had to be the Abloh Five I thought that I missed

Cause I had alarms set

When I woke it was dead

That's the last time I sleep with my phone in my bed

So when I awoke, I put my hand in my fist

And I looked in the mirror, and said "you can do this"

In all of my years, I never wore those shoes

The Abloh 1s that had me confused

Cause I bought them online, but they never came

Store-side mix up and the address changed

And it wasn't my fault, and they settled me straight

Just a half size bigger; whoever got them felt great

And I think about that

If one day at the door

A delivery came and the Abloh 4

That I didn't expect

What the hell would I do?

Who even knows if

They knew the scope of the shoe?

So today I wore those

And take them outside

First time they hit the ground

So now they alive

And now I'm near the spot

6 blocks away

It's already gettin' a little crowded hours passed on drop day

I said to myself

"The fives will be mine"

Ones so bright

People sayin' they blind

I relaxed and I stop to get tea

Fella says "Yo, it's me"

[malachiwardyt]

Hello again, podcast side of Tumblr.

Entities Explained has officially come to a close with the final episode explaining the End. If you didn't know, Entities Explained has been a series where I, over the course of the last year and change, have explained each of the Fears from hit horror anthology podcast The Magnus Archives. This is the longest episode of the series, but I think it's totally worth watching.

Also, this video contains a major announcement: I am currently working on a MASSIVE video explaining The Magnus Archives in as much detail as I possibly can. Hopefully, it'll be a great refresher course before Protocol, and trying to get it done in a month won't absolutely destroy me.

For the art, I decided to draw the moment from Oliver Banks' statement in MAG 121: Far Away where he and the rest of the crew on a research vessel are destroyed by falling satellite pieces. I wanted the whole piece to be very dark and to have this slightly dusty feel to it, which I think I succeeded at.

I went back and forth a lot on what to dress Banks in, but, in the end (pun intended), I went with something a bit more casual, since he is mostly just hanging around a shipping vessel. If I ever drew him as The Coroner, I'd probably go with something more formal (full black suit with a wilted red flower on the lapel?), but this felt fitting. I also wanted to give him a rain coat because, hey, I imagine it gets pretty rainy out there.

Unfortunately, Banks' design doesn't get to shine through too much in this piece, since his back is to the audience but, for one, I think that's sort of fitting for his themes, and, two, it makes the composition, at least in my mind, a bit more interesting.

The falling satellite was something I experimented around with a lot. Using reference pictures of real satellites, I tried to get something that felt small, but also like it could do some serious damage. The motion blur was a late addition, but I can't say I don't like it.

The moon was always going to be an important part of this piece, but it was during the sketching phase that I realised I could make it into a bit of a stylised skull, which is just a subtle enough detail to be fun. The angular clouds were originally meant to cut through it, but I settled on it being in full view instead, which I think looks much better.

Finally, there's the veins themselves. I actually went with less of them than I originally planned because I think it felt less repetitive, but I'm really happy with the way they turned out. My one addition was adding a pop of colour to this very drab and grey piece (which could, now that I think about it, be seen as a parallel to the desaturated people in Banks' dreams) in the form of the red flowing through the veins. This is technically only described as happening when Banks saw Gertrude Robinson in his dreams, but I figured, if there was another time for it, it was in the moment that he was truly in the grasp of Terminus. I also, honestly, just think it looks better.

That wraps up Entities Explained, so I hope y'all have enjoyed this series while it lasted. I'm not going to stop Magnus content, as I have plenty of ideas already and I'm sure Protocol will only bring more, but I am interested to see where my content goes from here. If you've read this far, thank you so much for listening to my ramblings and, if you celebrate, enjoy your holidays. Good night, Tumblr people!

[she-karev]

Babysitting Luna (Andrew DeLuca x Alex Karev’s Sister)

Age Rating: 12+

Chapters: Three of Five

Fandom: Grey’s Anatomy/Station 19

Ship: Andrew DeLuca x Amber Karev (Alex Karev’s Sister)

Canon Episode: Season 18 Episode 10/Season 5 Episode 10

AN: I know you guys love the pregnancy storyline so I decided to explore it more. I want to show when Amber and Andrew decided to get pregnant and why.

Summary: Amber and Andrew deal with the aftermath of almost losing Luna. Amber notices Luna isn’t crying so she takes her to the station so Carina can check her.

Words: 2487

January 12th, 2022

“You can say it.” Andrew tells Bailey while they are doing a kidney transplant. During that time, he explained what happened yesterday to Bailey looking for advice or more likely a reprimand, “I’m a horrible uncle.”

Bailey looks at DeLuca in sympathy, “You’re really not. I’ve treated bad parents, bad guardians and bad uncles and you are not a bad uncle. And you said you locked the door on your way back.”

“Yeah, but what if I didn’t?” Andrew asks still beating himself up, “She’s walking and using doorknobs if she got out, she could have wandered into the streets and a car would have hit her.”

“But it didn’t.” Bailey states, “She’s safe and happy and that’s what matters. You shouldn’t be so hard on yourself, we all make mistakes, even guardians like you.”

“God I am terrified I am gonna fail her or traumatize her. Now I know why Amber was so scared before she came into our house.”

“I was the same way when I had Tuck. My nerves were shot the first year I brought him home. When he was 5, I accidentally slammed Tuck’s fingers in the car door. I could still hear his scream and feel like the most awful parent in the world but my rational side catches up and I know it was an accident.” Andrew feels a little better after that confession, “You don’t have to be perfect to be a parent. You just have to love your kids enough to get through the scary moments and do better next time. If you feel this scared and unsure of your abilities to have her for the rest of the week, me and Ben can take her home with us.”

Bailey clears her throat obviously sad, “The Miller’s supposedly forgot that it was mine and Ben’s week with baby Pru and changed the date to next week. So, we have a house full of toys and diapers that are most likely gonna go to waste. If you want, we can watch her for the rest of the week. No judgement whatsoever.”

Andrew sighs and takes a moment before shaking his head, “No she’s already settled in we can do this.”

Bailey nods proud of him, “Yes you can.”

Later at Station 19

Amber rolls the stroller inside the barn with Jack Gibson guiding her. She knows Carina is doing inventory for the clinic today which makes her the perfect person to go to about Luna who is sleeping peacefully inside the stroller. She sees Carina helping Warren by a table full of pullout chairs.

“Carina.” The Italian OB is surprised to see Amber here and Jack explains.

“Your sister-in-law asked or well demanded really that she sees you. I don’t know why though.”

Carina approaches Amber and Luna, “What is it? What’s wrong?”

“Luna wandered off in our house yesterday I couldn’t find her for a minute, and she hasn’t cried ever since.”

“And that’s a bad thing?” Warren asks.

“She didn’t cry when I ended bathtime last night, she always cries and pulls my hair but not this time. I think something’s wrong; I don’t know if she hit her head or ate something that’s making her like this.”

Carina nods, “Okay well you can take her to a pediatrician in Grey Sloan.”

Amber shakes her head, “No, no, no if I take her to peds or OB they’ll call Alex and Jo and I have to tell them what happened, and they will never trust me again. Please you are my only hope right now.”

Warren shakes his head dismissively, “Look we gotta do inventory just suck it up and-”

Amber’s tone shifts from worried to scary, “One of you doctors drop what you’re doing in the next five seconds, or I will end you.” The three of them look shocked, “One, two…”

Carina steps forward and takes the stroller from Amber who follows her toward the beanery leaving the boys behind. When they reach the empty beanery Carina pulls out the medical bag from under the sink and approaches Amber who takes Luna out of her stroller so she can sit in her lap while Carina examines her.

“Tell me more about what the problem is.”

Amber bounces Luna in her lap lightly, “She’s usually a lot more alert than this. I sat up with her all night, making sure she was still breathing. I felt around her skull but there were no bumps but you’re the baby expert so…”

Carina does a neuro exam on Luna who passes it, “Good job Luna you are so smart.” Carina feels around her head, “There are no bumps, has she been feeling fatigue or vomiting in the last 12 hours?”

“No.”

“Okay we’ve ruled out a brain injury and stomach troubles she could just be relaxing. Unlike her Auntie Amber.”

Amber sighs and looks down at her niece in worry, “It’s just…I couldn’t find her. I went to get her a water and I turned my back for like ten seconds and she was gone when I turned around. Alex and Jo left her with me because I thought I could do this; God why did I think I could do this?”

“Hey, hey do not do this to yourself, don’t make things harder than they seem for you.” Amber sniffles holding Luna close, “It’s not uncommon. In the eyes they seem slow, but babies are like ninjas when they start to walk. They can slip away without making a sound and they are fast on their feet. And the good news is that Luna is very smart, she knows not to wander off outside a place where’s she’s most safe. She knows you and Andrea are watching her and making sure she’s safe.”

Amber sighs at that and Carina makes a suspicion, “Is this about more than Luna wandering off?”

Amber inhales and confesses to her sister-in-law, “Andrew want’s kids, I know he wants kids and a part of me does too, but I can barely keep my niece in place how do I know I won’t do that to our baby too?”

“I know the fear you’re experiencing.” Carina says with compassion, “My mind goes into a dark path, and I sometimes think I’m gonna do to my baby what my papa did to me. I worry that I’ll make them feel like they have to grow up too fast so they can survive me as a parent. I worry that I am going to repeat the cycle of chaos my father started. The same way I know you feel about your parents and whether or not you will repeat their mistakes.” Amber nods confirming Carina is right in this regard, “But if you and I are determined to give our kids the love and stability we never had then there is no doubt we’ll end our family cycle of violence and be the best parents we can be.”

Amber looks at Carina grateful, “Your good at this.”

“I know.” Carina says smugly causing Amber to laugh with Luna still in her lap, “Are you headed back home?”

“Um actually can me and Luna hang out with you and the boys for the rest of the day? Andrew is working and this place is a lot more interesting than my house. Plus, this is the last place that would catch on fire.”

Carina chuckles, “Okay you can come, as long as you help us with inventory.” She leans down to Luna’s face with a smile, “And that goes for you too Dr. Karev.” Amber chuckles and stands up. She puts Luna back in the stroller and follows Carina back into the barn where Ben and Jack are still by the table doing inventory.

“Is it safe?” Ben asks.

Amber grins as she parks Luna next to her by the table, “Yeah she’s fine, I’m gonna help though if that’s okay.”

Jack shrugs, “Yeah sure no problem the more help the better.” Amber helps with the chairs when Jack decides to ask her a question pertaining to the topic of employing doctors at the clinic, “Hey Amber you’re a doctor right?”

Amber raises an eyebrow at that, “Yes? Otherwise, I went to three years of college and four years of medical school for nothing.”

“And you…well you were…” Jack struggles to find the right words to describe Amber who motions him to continue, “You have a different background compared to most doctors right?”

“You mean I was dirt poor and had a family of nightmares?” Amber asks bluntly, causing Carina to grin at Jack’s wince as he tries to mend his words.

“Okay I didn’t mean it like that it’s just that I think the clinic shouldn’t have so many doctors because people from low-income neighborhoods and bad situations they’re afraid of doctors. I mean you and I grew up in the system so we saw firsthand how it can screw over people like us and that includes rich people in white coats.”

Carina rolls her eyes, “Porca miseria do not drag the poor girl into this, she’s just gonna say you’re stupid.”

“No actually he’s right.” Amber says surprising Warren and Carina who look at her more confused than offended, “Carina you know I love you, but you come from a family of doctors you didn’t have to worry about paying a thousand-dollar medical bill because your parents could afford insurance. I grew up relying on my mom’s disability after she got fired until my brothers and I each got jobs when we reached high school. You and Warren don’t understand the viewpoint me and Gibson developed after years of hardship and bouncing around foster homes.”

Ben shrugs, “Okay so tell us.”

Amber starts, “Okay, my oldest brother had to hotwire a car to get me to a hospital when I was two because the ambulance ride would have bankrupted us. Alex and Aaron bandaged my scrapes and bruises until I was 8 and I had a skateboarding accident that gave me 12 stiches on my head. The doc who did it just gave us the bill and walked away. My brother couldn’t pay it until he started his intern year. I’m sorry guys but the white coats are a symbol for death or debt in the communities Gibson and I grew up in.”

Jack grins at his point being proven, “I like her.”

Carina groans at that, “I understand what you’re saying but how do we run a medical clinic without medical experts?”

“Oh, you can’t.” Amber states as she resupplies the medical bag, “I mean the system is broken but a clinic needs doctors and nurses who know sutures and how to run labs. Sorry Jack but your naive to think we can find people who know half the stuff me and Carina know without acquiring an MD.”

“Yeah, she’s got a point.” Ben says.

Gibson thinks for a minute before having an idea that he springs to the doctors, “I could learn to do this, suture. I mean-I mean, if it came to it, right?”

“Well, it won't unless you're planning to become a doctor.” Carina points out.

“Okay, but fine. But, like, think about it. I mean, I-The first time I did CPR, I was 10 years old. Yeah, my foster sister almost drowned in the community pool, and I saw somebody do it on TV and I-I figured it out. So I could probably learn some of what you do.”

Amber grins at Gibson’s attempt, “It’s not like sewing your niece’s teddy bear after the head tears off.” She grins down at Luna who is still in the stroller playing with her teething toy, “It requires focus and steady hands, which are two things you’re gonna learn once you get into Harvard med. Or state if you don’t want to become a stuffy know it all.”

“Andrea went to Harvard.” Carina reminds Amber.

“You just rested my own case.” Amber jokes with a grin.

“I get it but what you probably can't teach is waking up every morning with the goal being to survive. And I think that's…yeah, that's me. That's who I am. That's what this is, right? This clinic is a place for people to go to survive. And they shouldn't have to sign 10 forms with fine print and stare down a bunch of white coats. And it should be simple and, like, clear-cut and not intimidating. And that…that's what the people need to see, right?”

Amber nods seeing Jack’s point as Carina responds, “Okay. But we still need nurses and doctors at our clinic, so who's gonna staff it?”

Jack proposes another idea, “50/50. Compromise. Yeah. Half firefighters, half doctors. And no white coats and no hiding behind the computers and less forms, please. Just less forms.”

The three doctors stand together in front of Jack with Carina speaking for them, “And who's gonna teach you how to do wound care and read urine dipsticks?”

Jack looks stumped by that, “Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Um…”

Carina smiles at Jack’s lack of words, “Half and half.”

“I don't know what either of those are. I don't know which one of you specializes in that.” Amber chuckles before strolling Luna away to get the supplies for the clinic together.

That Night

Amber knocks on the door of the station desperate for either Carina or Warren to answer. She left the station an hour ago after helping with the inventory. But then Luna hit the 24-hour mark since she last cried making Amber worried Carina missed something. She knocks on the glass door frantically until Warren answers it with an obvious annoyed face.

Ben opens the door and Amber rushes inside the Luna in the stroller sleeping, “DeLuca who used to be Karev, it’s late shouldn’t you be home reading the little girl a bedtime story so she can go to sleep like you and me are supposed to?”

“Look Carina missed something or something has developed because it’s been 24 hours and Luna still hasn’t cried yet.” Amber says in a panic, “Something is wrong.”

Ben groans in frustration due to his own problems with the custody battle, “Do you want to know why your niece isn’t crying so badly?”

“Yes!”

“It’s because she loves you.” Ben states the obvious stopping Amber short, “You’re a good aunt and great caretaker. She knows she can wander off because you’re there to watch her. She’s so happy she doesn’t feel like crying. Do you want to see her cry?” Ben leans down and lightly pinches Luna’s hand causing her to get fussy and start to cry to Amber’s shock, “There, now she’s crying so please go home.”

Ben walks away from Amber who is now pissed at having a crying baby to deal with because of Warren, “Okay this is gonna get you the creepy uncle status Ben Warren!”

Next Part Here

[horsetailcurlers2]

YET ANOTHER long and obnoxious stream of my thoughts while watching greys anatomy for the first time (S19 bc i’m finally caught up, babey!!!! (phew))

-i hope this new class of residents isn’t as one dimensional as the last one

-“you say please to bhokee!” hell yeah you do schmitt. (i love that she did say please he was just so ready to jump down her throat about it lmoa)

-DEREK’S NEPHEW ?????!!! WHICH SISTER? my money is on nancy bc i always thought she was the oldest so she would have the son old enough to be out of med school

-okay i’m too curious (for some reason i’ve always just been curious about the shepherds) so i’ve gone back to S15E21 (good shepherd) to see if i could get a better look at nancy’s wall of family photos. i see one of nancy with a young curly haired girl, kathleen with a light haired child, and two photos that are just groups of kids. my assumption is that these two are all of nancy’s kids because if she had photos of her nieces and nephews i feel like they would include their parents. both photos show two boys and two girls. it looks like the same four kids just at two different ages. the oldest (or at least the tallest) in both photos is a boy with dark hair. this may support my theory that nancy is lucas’s mother. the rest of the photos aren’t very clear. the only thing is that all of the kids look very fair and lucas is not. they also clearly wrote this episode way after they shot the scene with amelia looking at the photos so they may have not even bothered with details that were meant to be sort of irrelevant at the time.

-okay this is a very tragic story with (griffin??? griffith??) and makes her lateness and weirdness understandable but am i the only one who thinks it’s insanely bizarre to be sharing your tragic life story to your superior on your first day?

-idk about this season yet. i feel them trying to sort of mirror season one in some ways, focusing more on the interns (which i think i like), trying to connect back to old characters, but it feels a *little* forced so far

-i like mean and snappy teddy

-have we ever seen this library before?

-“i tried to implement similar changes at various times and was always met with resistance” ???? when did bailey try to implement those changes to the residency program? she implemented changes but they for sure weren’t these ones

-why is it better for them to think he’s sleeping with her????? jfc lucas

-ADDISON LOOKS SO HOT. i like this costuming for her. very reminiscent of her private practice wardrobe

-i really like baileys braids this season btw. and i like that she has a special scrub cap that can cover them all

-lucas’s dad is from barbados. idk what to do with that but it is another clue lmao. if nothing else, i’m hooked on this season just to find out who his mother is

-no comment on the dancing

-helm looks really cute as a bartender

-owen when teddy isn’t super happy and content with him after he fucked them over and put their children’s well-beings at risk: 😯

-addison and tom should have met

-oh my god just tell them you’re a nepo baby!! they think you’re fucking your aunt!

-it made complete sense to bring addison back for this storyline. i hope they explore it a little more and keep bringing her back.

-i’m so confused about lucas’s whole complex. wouldn’t he have grown up with his dad’s last name anyway? why has this been an issue “all his life”??? and until he went to med school i doubt anybody even knew the significance of him being a shepherd

-what planet is owen living on where he thinks they would let him be chief again rn

-i can see myself shipping mike chang and mary queen of scots once they develop their characters a bit more. simone and lucas i like in theory but idk about the chemistry

-“i am not going to beg you to love me” good meredith bc that didn’t work out so well the first time u did it

-intern house is back!!! i really like that actually

-a full time administrative assistant is completely reasonable. richard had patricia when he was chief

-looking very hot for having just been hit by a car

-winston definitely had a point at first but at this point he’s pissing me off. it’s reminding me of that big meredith and cristina fight in the sense that it feels like he’s deliberately taking everything she’s doing and saying in the worst possible way.

-richard and addison’s dynamic is so underrated

-this is incredibly random but it just popped into my head. it’s so weird that amelia has never brought up her friend michelle on greys. you know, her friend from pp that committed suicide bc she had huntingtons which ultimately kickstarted amelia’s relapse. i feel like it could have been relevant to a few cases

-pru is so fucking cute

-so many people keep leaving i don’t really have a reaction to it anymore. but i will very much miss maggie. ik a lot of people don’t like maggie (prob bc they thought she was trying to fill the spaces that lexi and cristina left behind) but i really liked her. i think i found her very relatable in a lot of ways. even/especially when she was a little annoying lol

-why is this guy specifically requesting bailey? (not that she’s not great at her job it just has suspicious vibes) is he one of the anti choice harassers? nervous for that especially since addison is here so i feel like it will be about that storyline

-jesus christ i knew it. bc it’s so “pro life” to threaten a child!!!!!! go kwan though. and teddy!

-JUJU!!!

-yasuda x helm <3

-cristina mention !!!!

-i really like that there’s no intern/attending relationships lately

-i’m doubling down on thinking lucas is nancy’s bc i think if he has adhd, kathleen likely would have noticed bc she’s a psychologist. obviously it’s possible she wouldn’t have, everyone has blind spots but i think this makes the most sense still. and ik he could still be liz’s but i’m still unsure on if the ages work out and i think they were banking on which actress would be more likely to make an appearance later on and neve campbell is less likely to come back than the others.

-uggh why do i HATE simone’s wedding dress.

-omg i’m a terrible person i didn’t realize it was her late mother’s. i’m so sorry the fit of it just looks off

-i wonder how they’re going to ruin/derail this wedding? they’ve already done leaving at the altar, objections, elopements. maybe the twist is that she actually goes through with it?? or they’ll just be boring and so the same thing they’ve done before

-i like that they still call it “joe’s” even though we never see joe anymore

-winston is getting on my nerves. he always starts off having a point and then he gets all immature and petty about it

-dude that is not how a DNR works

-aww yay for bailey

-side note amelia looks great

-TEDDY!!!

[maygrcnt]

I've never watched greys anatomy, what happened with slexie? All i know is they were a popular(?) ship. What was their dynamic, why was it so tragic?

yeah sure okay, if you haven’t seen up until the end of season 8 of greys anatomy by now and are for some reason planning on going in with no spoilers more than a decade later scroll past lmao

but yeah slexie, mark sloan and lexie grey, was a really popular ship (i wasn’t there when it was live, i was literally 8 but i remember my sister was obsessed with them) and at the time of this event they were broken up but mutual pining, they had been together for a while but then broke up and lexie was at this time dating marks protege so things were awkward all around.

the season eight finale of greys anatomy is like the most iconic finale of the series because half the main cast gets in a crazy horrible plane crash. after the crash lexie is trapped under the plane and mark sits there holding her hand and the last thing she hears before dying is him saying he loves her. literally the saddest episode of television i’ve ever sat through, full body SOBBING.

then in the beginning of s9 they get rescued but mark is in a coma because of internal complications from the crash, he is awake for just a little bit of time before he dies. they’re the only two who die from the crash. everyone calls them “heaven endgame” because they probably would have gotten back together if they had lived.

the point of the heaven endgame and why it’s so traumatic is because it’s a reallllly big what if. they were like inching back towards each other for the entire season only for them to just …. die…. it’s so bad and also so good and greys anatomy is an amazing show.

so like if this were to happen to buddie it would be 10x worse because slexie already had SEASONS of being canon and happy together at this point they were just in a breakup era when it all went down, if buddie did something similar it would literally be a first time love confession before they both DIE so that’s why people are like … noooo thank you not that

[livvyofthelake]

i have things to say about my little tv shows now ok. 1) the big thing i know we all care so much about. the change in showrunners for greys from krista vernoff (my enemy for real) to someone new. i had to look her up it’s meg marinis and i have tentatively decided to trust her because i looked up what episodes she’s written and she HAPPENS to be the writer behind my favorite greys episode ever. not that that makes the episode good i was just 17 and there was a scene in there that gay 17 year old beth desperately needed at that time. we don’t have to get into it. also she wrote the last 2 episodes of season 19 which i remember being INSANE in the straight people department (lucas and simone!!!!) so. i’m trusting her. meg i am putting my faith in you. do not let me down.

2) jo and link BORING. don’t care for them sorry! not all straight people are winners some of them are lame and pale in comparison to the interns realness and the iconicity of miranda bailey and ben warren…. 3) speaking of my queen miranda bailey. oh it’s all coming together… full circle moment!! she’s in charge of the interns! she’s the best damn teacher in that hospital! yay! rip what’s his name we hardly knew you. because you were boring. (referring to meredith’s lame boyfriend who was previously teaching the interns and is now moving to boston to be with meredith)

and now. station 19, first of all they set my girl up… they changed the time slot to 10 and made this their last season… all for what. 911??? someone needs to kill themselves for this. i’ll see you in hell whatever abc executive designed this. anyway. 2) the good thing about this being. the end 😐 (and we all know how well i do with endings.) is that finally the endgames will become clear. this is a show in which. SO much has happened with every character’s arc i don’t even remember it all it’s been on for seven years ok it started as a show about a woman trying to fill her father’s shoes on her way to becoming the captain of the fire station they both work in. our girl has lost so many times it is unreal, she has had that captain position stolen from her roughly a thousand times, her romantic life has been in shambles since day one i won’t even go there rn. anyway so from episode one it’s clear that her arc this season now that she HAS the captain title is going to be about becoming the BEST captain, and she will!! i believe in my girl and i always have!! and jack’s arc will clearly be about figuring out his life without being a firefighter now that he has all that brain damage. and so on and so forth. we can finally see an end in sight to these characters hectic ass lives and thank fucking god because station 19 is one of the most stress inducing shows i’ve ever watched. 3) as well as that. the romantic endgames will become clear. i can see the full picture forming i can finally begin to see it all… as i said earlier i have been rooting for jack and andy endgame since day one and frankly if that one in a million win happens. i’ll probably explode idk i never thought what might happen if i actually won there i don’t really expect to. the romantic endgames are not all clear i was using this point as a lead in to point 4. so 4) travis… well i’ve known for years they were always going to go back to travis and emmett. i knew that random british man was not long for my man travis the second he came in. listen. travis and emmett started ages ago, and they broke up and became friends and the actor playing emmett left the show and then they brought him back cuz they liked him so much. and i knew the moment they kept bringing him back. this is endgame and i better get used to it. so it’s a good thing i never had anything against travis and emmett because well it looks like i was right this is endgame bye british guy hashtag america strong hashtag declaration of independence hashtag go back to where you came from etc. sorry i really don’t care for that british man he was like. mildly tolerable last season but i never wanted him to stay around this long it’s fucked up. anyway. loved travis and emmett’s little cheating moment as emmett grieves his shitty dead dad who we all hated for being a republican <3 loved that they had sex in emmett’s mother’s house while she was probably like two rooms away and also i have a keen eye and like that was a room without a damn door they were in when they started tearing each other’s clothes off. as my mother commented. “in the living room???” real as fuck mom… anyway slay. point 3a) vic and ruiz can’t possibly be endgame right. god they probably are. fuck my life 🙄 god he’ll never be ripley…. you had to be there at the time it was the moment at the time….

yeah. anyway. lots of wins for straight people tonight. i wish they were real :( also some wins for the gays of those shows, maya and carina as always serving up their bland boring network tv lesbian couple swag. kinda obsessed tbh. maya has had a rough time of it in these seven seasons she deserves to be boring and lame now i think <3 my buddy schmidt still kinda losing the Take Me Seriously war. i fear if these six years have been any indication he never will win that battle. BUT. remember that meg is running the show now…. meg loves him… i mean clearly meg loves him she wrote The Episode….. meg i won’t ask for much but if it’s not too much trouble could you perhaps give a think on bringing back nico before they pull the plug on your show… just consider…. i’d really like it a lot if i got to see him even just one more time….. no worries if not meg i’m not trying to get greedy out here. however if you give my guy a krista core bullshit love interest i’ll kill you myself. peace and love. (krista core means bad btw. we HATE krista vernoff. boooooo) anyway. so that’s my thoughts. heart

[wetthandss]

The Creature that Opened the Door

(parody creepypasta)

It is a dark night on October the 31th, 2023. The darkness that fell across the land on this night was no ordinary darkness. This was a darkness that was all-encompassing, with the ability to absorb all light that dares stray within it, where the tall, looming street lamps watching over the lifeless street, streaked with roadkill and dried blood, would flicker as if shivering from the cold, cold absence. The cowardly moon was non-existent, hiding from the horror that would be inflicted onto our unexpecting world. Never before in human history was there a night akin to this one. This was an event, an event for the darkest terror that will show its bare body to humanity to prove that fear is more real than we thought. It was a darkness that now makes the very lights in my room flicker, as I sit here and type in an adrenaline-fueled craze to you, creepypastaforums.net, in what could very well be my last moments, as one of these nameless terrors has come for me. 

Before I can even speak of the unknowable grotesquerie intruding  so rudely upon my typically safe and comfortable existence, I must tell you the full story that has lead up to this point, of I, in my Pikachu™ pyjamas, a character from the Pokémon franchise by Game Freak Incorporated and Nintendo Company, Limited, cowering on my grey bed sheets surrounded by a fortress of grey pillows and tented within my grey blanket, typing frantically on my HP Laptop 15-dy2xxx. The panic in my heart is so great that I’m afraid that the fear contained within the electrical currents of my fingers as I slam them onto the beige metallic keys will pass deep into the system, such that I may overload the 11th Gen Intel(R) Core(TM) i5-1135G7 @ 2.40GHz, 2401 Mhz, 4 Core(s), 8 Logical Processor(s), and cut my desperate and urgent message to the people of this forum short. It is my greatest hope that this does not occur before I can retrieve your aid, so I will write with the utmost brevity and in the most economical nature I can muster. 

You may wonder why this is my first route of attaining help, so I give you this; I come to you only because I truly believe that you, the internet creepypasta community, will believe my story. You, who are accustomed to reading fictional stories like this on a daily basis, I assure you this is no fiction. What you are reading is very very non-fiction, and the current events that will transpire in the rest of this post are in fact happening to me at this very moment. If you are reading this… Please continue reading to the very end. I request your help immediately with these very pressing matters, threatening my very life with death; or worse. However, to truly help me with my dire plight, the context of the day must be established. 

This morning was a morning like any other. At eight o’clock ante meridiem, central standard time, I awoke from a pleasant dream. In that morning’s episode of wistful sleep-fantasy, I was farming oversized pieces of candy corn in a wide, flat and halloween-coloured field. Upon waking, I reflected on what this could mean, as I am a believer that dreams are the transporters of messages from our subconscious to our conscious selves (Criticise me in the comments all you want, I do not care and will block with impunity). I believe that I had this dream due to my affinity for the Halloween season, which with today being the day of October 31st, has reached its climax after much anticipation. Ever since I was but a wee babe toddling in the streets, I have loved the holiday known as Halloween. Being not just socially allowed but encouraged to dress in a thin plastic mockery of my favourite fictional characters such as Batman™ from DC Comics, Incorporated and Bumblebee™ from the Transformers™ franchise owned by Hasbro, Incorporated. Now, at the age of eight, my interest in Halloween has not dampened. I consider it my favourite holiday, and over the years the joy of the season has only increased exponentially.. 

After waking up from the dream, a slow process that took around 20.2 minutes before I was able to rip my lethargic body off from the grey bed sheets, wearing my signature Pikachu™ pyjamas of course. I drank the goblet of water waiting for me at my bedside desk and stood up. I took in the familiar sights, sounds, and smells around me. My black glass desk was exactly where I left it last night, against the wall and at the corner of my bed, where I set my various items that I make use of while lying in bed at night, such as my water goblet, my books, and this very laptop that I write this urgent message to you on. I do a lot of my professional work at this desk, and it has served me very well over the years. My tall cupboards were set against the far wall, containing my favourite paraphernalia from various children’s toy franchises and video game memorabilia. The most notable of these assorted models was my LEGO™ collection, which I am quite proud of. It contains many models of my own making, such as a giant clam with an engine on its shell or my masterpiece, a cool aeroplane flame decal on its sides. 

A second, larger desk sits across my bed, set against the wall opposite my bed. Taking up the entire surface of the desk at its top is a glass terrarium, the comfortable warm home of my beloved pet lizard, Bad Omen, who needed his terrarium’s light turned on each and every morning. I glided deftly to the terrarium, and reached behind to flip the small lightswitch that activates his heat lamps, which brings beautiful light and warmth to his utopian little world. As I leaned forward, I noticed something very wrong with Bad Omen. While usually he would be lying there, poking his head out from the small rock-like dome he enjoys slumbering within, his angry eyes closed shut until his very own personal sunrise, now he was lying with his entire body out of his rock-like dome, and lying on his back rather than his belly. His eyes were wide open and hyperrealistic, which is actually considerably normal considering he is in fact a real lizard, and for the rest of the circumstances surrounding the orientation of this poor lizard, and for whom I must repeat again his name is Bad Omen, and whose eyes were bleeding profusely, having already filled a few millimetres of the tank. The blood continued to pour out, I thought it must have been going on for hours before my waking. I screamed and pulled away from the tank, beginning to wail for my loss. 

My dear mummy heard my cries, and swiftly rushed into my room to check up on me and investigate  why I was screaming. The first thing she saw as she came into the room was my wide open mouth, my uvula undulating with the force of my screams, big stupid infant tears streaming down my face from my wavering and watery pathetic eyes, bloodshot from the raw emotion pouring through them. The second thing my mother saw was that which my nimble index finger was pointing towards across the room, to Bad Omen’s terrarium, where he lay dead in a pool of crimson. She, too, could not help but scream at the sight, but her senses caught up with her and she ran from my room to get her forklift. She drove down the hallway and into my room, and used it to lift the terrarium up and transport it from my room. As the sight of my dead pet left me, I stopped crying, and as my mother came back to my room she held me, comforted me and let me breastfeed from her teat. I quickly calmed down, and wiped the remaining fat tears from my eyes with the yellow sleeve of my Pikachu™ pyjamas. My mother patted me on the head and promised me an excellent breakfast, which she had just finished and laid out on the dining room table. 

I followed my mother out for breakfast. She was not lying, my mother had indeed constructed a magnificent feast, which was laid out expertly on the table. The blue and white floral tablecloth was spread out smoothly, the gorgeous background for a banquet of Honey Smacks™ cereal (property of Kellanova) and a tall goblet of orange juice. I sat at my end of the table, and waited for my mother to seat herself at the other end. For five minutes I waited, drooling from my eager and hungry mouth as she walked to the other, very far end of the dining table. The thought of my freshly deceased pet left my mind as the chemical smell of the cereal wafted into my nose, my olfactory senses overloaded with the smell of 40.4 grams of sugar. My mother sat down across from me, shooting off her flare to signal me to begin eating. The next 4 minutes were spent consuming the cereal and juice, which I enjoyed immensely. This was my standard Monday breakfast. I also did not have school today, nor would I have school until Wednesday, which is tomorrow days away at the time that I am writing this dire warning to you, but I am afraid that I may not survive to the next day, as the beast, whatever it may be, whatever combination of horrors the universe has in its utter cruelty hath given to me, is at my door. It is however of the utmost importance that I continue to tell you the sequence of events that lead to the present moment, so that you may aid me, or, if the worst comes to pass, not make the same mistakes as me. 

After I had finished breakfast, my mother walked back to my end of the table and wiped my chin, specked with milk and orange juice, with a tissue. She shot the tissue into the trash can as if she were a professional basketball player throwing a professional basketball into a professional basketball hoop. This amused me, I found it humorous to treat a waste object such as a used tissue as if it were a sports ball. I giggled joyously, and my mother reciprocated the emotion, giggling to herself. It was a grand sight to see her smiling. These days, in the cold autumn in my hometown of somewhere in the northeastern United States, the clouds grey the skies for weeks at a time, the sun taking a vacation from its work upon the world and leaving many of us to fall into a spiral of grey-triggered depression and melancholy. This affected my mother annually, who had enough on her plate. She had a very busy day job as a waitress in a local cafe, and as a drive-thru manager in a local McDonald’s™ franchise, and as a delivery driver for Amazon™, and as a barista in a local coffee shop, and as a baker in a local bakery, and as a preschool teacher in the local preschool. Her mood had, I admit, rubbed off on me as well, but now that the long weekend was sinking in I was made happy, despite the fright and grief of the morning. 

This would soon change to the worst once again as the day would progress. Despite not having to attend school that day, I still had a mountainous pile of homework to do, arranged in a stack of paper. Dozens of sheets of coloured construction paper waiting for me to stain them with foul-smelling markers, listing my favourite foods, people, and testing my knowledge of some basic verbs of the English language, which I am quickly becoming highly proficient in. This stack of papers assigned to me was based at the floor, and was constructed upwards so far that it towered over my head. I was not intimidated. Gracefully I reached up, my feet erecting themselves onto their tippy-toes, and took with great precision a single sheet of orange paper from the very top. As I turned the paper over, to my horror, there were no fun educational instructions on its face, but a charcoal drawing of some horrid obscure creature resembling a dog with eyes lined down its neck. Disgusted and frustrated I crumpled the paper in my fists, deducing that my homework must have been sabotaged by a fellow classmate or perhaps my mother trying to play one of her classic “Halloween tricks”. 

As I stole another sheet of thick, sharp paper, green this time, from the peak of the sensitive mountain, an avalanche was compelled by gravity and the slight force of my pull to collapse onto me. I toppled to the ground in shock. As the papers flew about me and floated to the floor, I saw that there was that very same shadowy canine monster pressed upon each and every paper, my homework was no longer. I was severely perturbed. I gathered up the papers and threw them into the dark, rank pit of the trash bin. Good riddance to these abominable things. I set out to interrogate my mother about these papers, but she granted me no answers, insisting that I had vandalised my own homework. I took her to the trash bin to demonstrate that the homework had been replaced by the black scrawls, but I was utterly flabbergasted when I discovered that the papers, all but none, had disappeared. My mother chastised me for distracting her as she was just heading out of the house to work, and I felt a hot wash of shame flow through my body as I considered her words. Was I losing my mind? Had it all been a hallucination, inspired by the tragedy of my poor sweet pet Bad Omen’s death in the night? I shoved the thoughts from my head, and instead reflected on a newfound triumph. There is no homework, so I am free to do whatever I please for the rest of the day! 

I decided I wanted to play some video games on my Apple iPad™. My favourite video games at this time are Minecraft Pocket Edition™, Roblox™, and Skibidi Toilet Attackers (Season 15), a classic from the old internet. I ran gleefully to my room and slammed my door behind me, and threw myself onto the large blue bean bag resting limp in the corner of my room. My iPad™ is left beside it, for my own convenience. I pick it up and turn it on, then I navigate, using my fingers on the smooth touch-screen display, to find the Minecraft™ application. Upon finding the desired application, I pressed my finger to its icon, a signal to the domesticated machine in my hands that there is something that I want, that it can and will provide me. It understands, and obeys like a whipped horse. Minecraft™ opens to its title screen. Nothing was amiss so far, however, you will soon see where things went so tremendously awry. I pressed the “single player” button, and found my existing Minecraft™ world. 

You see, in Minecraft, players explore a blocky, procedurally generated, three-dimensional world with virtually infinite terrain. Players can discover and extract raw materials, craft tools and items, and build structures, earthworks, and machines. Depending on their chosen game mode, players can fight hostile mobs, as well as cooperate with or compete against other players in the same world. Game modes include a survival mode (in which players must acquire resources to build in the world and maintain health) and a creative mode (in which players have unlimited resources and access to flight). The game's large community also offers a wide variety of user-generated content, such as modifications, servers, skins, texture packs, and custom maps, which add new game mechanics and possibilities. 

I was not playing with any of these modifications, but my own personal world, which I have been constructing for two years now. Upon entering my world, I appear in the game-world exactly where I had left off last time, as expected. I had just finished harvesting my crops, a 9x9 plot of wheat with the block in the centre replaced with water to keep the plants growing quickly. The wheat was in my inventory, a space that contains all the items that I pick up during the course of the game, but there was something… Off about it. My eagle-like eyes picked up on the subtle difference in the pixel art sprite of the “wheat” item. I wondered to myself if this was an update, or small patch that had been made to the game while I was gone. I brought the screen closer to my inquisitive eyes and peered at the wheat sprite. There was indeed something different. It was animated, with a swarm of small dark pixels that resembled bugs seeming to crawl all over the bundle of wheat. I was confused, but thought that perhaps this was part of some Halloween update, as the Minecraft™ developers have been known to do in the past, which may add some unexpected and creepy features and minor changes to the game to fit the theme of the Halloween season. 

At this, I was excited. However, when I attempted to craft my wheat into bread, by placing three wheat in a horizontal row on the 3x3 crafting grid on the crafting table, the bread came out looking mouldy and gross much like the other Minecraft™ item known as a poisonous potato. This I also assumed was part of the update, but as I brought the bread into my inventory I saw the name of the item, dread filled my heart. It was not named “bread”. It was named “Narrator, you have been CURSED”. I screamed and threw my iPad™ across the room. How did the game know my name was Narrator? Nowhere did I feed the machine this information, even the parental controls on the device do not reference mine or my mother’s real name anywhere. The traitorous device shattered into 1 million pieces upon colliding with my metal bed frame. I was not distressed by its violent demise. No longer did I ever want to look at the thing. I left the sharp metal and glass shards dispersed on the multi coloured shag carpet. I had no spoons left for the terrifying happenings and goings on of the day. I simply required a short rest. I decided to take a nap in my bed. 

I hastily climbed right into it, and pulled myself under my thick grey blankets. I realised now that I was still wearing my pyjamas from last night. They were a comfort object for me, as I have had them for a long time, since I was but a babe, an infant as it were. When I was a red squirming infant, my mother bestowed upon me these pyjamas, but due to an ordering mixup they were far too large for my infantile size, so I eagerly awaited my entire youth to grow taller, wider, fatter, so that I could one day fit within the yellow frame of the itchy fabric. On my eighth birthday, just last year, I was able to fit the pyjamas on. It was the happiest day of my life. I will someday outgrow it, the wrists will some day get tighter, the hood will pull shorter, but for now, I was in a blissful realm of cosplay completion that I could enjoy for two years more or so. I drifted off to sleep, and began a dream taking place in the Pokémon world, with myself placed in the role of the Pokémon trainer. 

I was in the hometown of the main character of the franchise, Ash Ketchum, in the small settlement of Palette town in the Kanto region (Of the Pokémon world, not real world Japan). My mother had just slimily kissed me on the forehead and sent me on my way to Professor Oak’s house to acquire and battle Pokémon creatures, and begin my long, adventurous Pokémon journey, where I would travel the land and collect gym badges from skilled Pokémon trainers. Upon arriving at Professor Oak’s house and laboratory, just across the street, I saw that the windows were blackened. I peeked inside. What I saw changed the nice, lighthearted dream into a cruel nightmare. Professor Oak had one of these Pokémon creatures, resembling an orange salamander with a flame-tipped tail, named Charmander, on a surgeon’s table, an audience of note-taking laboratory assistants surrounding him on bleachers. The lights in the room were off, save just a few bright white pointed spotlights beaming down on the Professor and the vivisected Pokémon. The Charmander looks towards the door as I peek in, and whispers, exasperated; “Char…” (as Pokémon are known to make vocalisations that sound similar to their names, and it is an open question in the Pokémon universe whether the Pokémon are named after their vocalisations or if it is the other way around. On one hand, it would be quite the strange implication if the Pokémon, especially wild ones, were privy to the names that humans give them, and conformed to speaking that name repetitively, even communicating with each other using that name. On the other hand, the existence of Pokémon such as Mr. Mime, who speaks his own name “Mr. Mime”, is even weirder to some, as well as many Pokémon names being a sort of pun or portmanteau representing the theming of a particular Pokémon). 

Professor Oak looks up at me and pulls his surgical mask down, and the smile on his face was indescribable. It was wide enough to reach the ears, and tall enough to make his nose non-existent. Half of his entire face was taken by the grin. He had no teeth, but disgusting gross revolting nasty yucky icky gross gums, and a short stubby blunt pink gross narsty tongue. His maw was a black hole, whatever entered, even light was lost, annihilated. He brought up the Charmander from the table and, pleading and squirming, it was thrown into his mouth, where it disappeared entirely. He pointed at me and laughed a ghastly (no relation to the Pokémon™) laugh, unlike anything I have heard before. It reminded me immediately of the iconic Kefka laugh from Final Fantasy 6™ and infamous for its use in the Sonic.EXE creepypasta. The indescribable horrible laugh sounded something like “woopwoopwoopwoop”. I snope awake from the nightmare. 

My Pikachu™ pyjamas were drenched with sweat, filled to the brim, making me resemble an inflated version of this Pokémon™. As I let my full-frontal zipper down, the sweat flowed out like a waterfall, soaking my bed with the foul yellow fluid. I ran out of my room, a grave mistake in my compromised clothing situation. My mother had brought my friend Aiden from school to our house. I completely forgot we had a playdate today, and there I was, naked down to my underwear, Pikachu™ pyjamas wrapped around my ankles, soaked in sweat, shocked eyes of a prey animal caught by a predator. My hair instantly turned white from fear. Aiden and my mother stared at me for a moment too long for my heart to bear, and then began pointing and laughed at me, just like Professor Oak in the nightmare. My mind broke, I defecated in my pants and ran back down the hallway. It seemed endless to me now, I felt that I could never escape the ever-increasing volume of the laughter, it became deafening in my ears. I ran back into my room and slammed the door just in time for my eardrums to avoid rupture, pushing up my sick gamer chair against the doorknob so that no one, or no thing, could come in. I ran and threw my soiled underpants into the laundry hamper. 

Majestically avoiding the broken glass from the iPad™, I shot under my bed, lying flat and heaving heavy huffing breaths. The sweat that had soaked into my bed earlier dripped onto me, puddling on the floor. My entire body was wet, like I was spelunking in a flooding cave. That embarrassing mistake, which on any other day would be one that could be laughed off and forgotten, today, I felt was the end of it all. By stepping out into the kitchen I had really sealed my fate. The moment that bleak thought sank into my mind the bedframe collapsed, strained by the weight of the sweat soaked into the mattress. My mattress fell onto me, a large wet sponge crushing me under water weight. I felt that I was again an infant being born, but instead of a warm loving parent to welcome me into the world there is instead a cold, dead mattress and a wet carpeted floor covered in broken glass. I heard banging at my door, two pairs of fists; my mother and Aiden. Adrenaline pumping through my eight-year-old body, I squirmed and squeezed my way out from inside the womb of polyurethane foam and came out screaming, glass shards ripping into my skin, just like the day I was born. The knocking on my door stopped in an instant. For a moment I thought that I should perhaps unblock the door and take a small peek out into the hallway. I did not do that though. Instead, I decided to play with my LEGO™s. 

I pulled the container containing my many thousands of LEGO™s out from the drawer. They were of many shapes and colours, made up of dozens of disassembled sets. I only kept a few complete at a time, which I displayed on my cupboards. The rest were doomed to be separated into disparate pieces until I built up the determination to pick through my vast collection one piece at a time and put them together very slowly. I decided to forgo preset instructions and construct an item out of my own imagination, which I believe to be grand and beautiful. I decided that I was going to construct a frog. As I began putting pieces together, I soon noticed that the entire house had been completely quiet. If my friend Aiden and my mother were home, especially if they had become scary monsters, surely there would be some noise. As soon as I thought this, as if responding to my thoughts, a large banging sound began pounding out from the kitchen. I started, my hackles raised and noxious chemical fluid began leaking from the glands in my evapatoria, coating my thoracic exoskeleton. 

As I took a panicked look around my room, I noticed something horrible. My LEGO™s were scattered all across the carpet along with the broken glass. They were everywhere, a random scattered arrangement with many blending into my carpet. My room had become a minefield. Panic began to sink in. If I for some reason had to move across my room very quickly, I would not be able to get across my floor without stepping on one of these devices of podiatric torture. I breathed out a sigh of relief that nothing so urgent was presently occurring, but was forced to suck the sigh back in when the banging from the kitchen began to move. It did not move down the hallway, or into another room of the house, no, no. The banging moved underneath the house, I heard the strikes of spooky feets against the metal of the air ducts and the bending of HVAC tubes. The air register in my room began to reek a foul odour, overpowering my own. The sound was travelling through the air conditioning system coming full speed straight towards my room. 

I looked at the hazardous carpet, covered in high-quality plastic caltrops. I gulped a tennis ball sized gulp and with my superior and powerful survival instincts I dashed across the carpet. My feet stung as they were pierced a thousand times over by irregularly shaped blocks, I could not prepare myself for each step. My velvety foot pads, free of calluses and hardship, were being put to the test. After 87 gruelling, sprinting steps, I made it to my door just as something burst forth from my air vent. I grabbed my sick gamer chair and, with a single tear shed for another deep loss this day, I threw it behind me. I dared not even look back at the thing as it came out of the vent. I was in the hallway, and slammed my door. Something wet and large locomoted across my floor, and I heard a high, gruesome screech from what I assume was contact with the deadly traps on my floor. I took the chance to run down the hallway, entering my bathroom. I had planned to just escape my house, but I glanced through the bathroom window and decided completely against it. Outside the window was that perfect darkness of terror that I had mentioned before, do you remember? 

If you do not remember how bloodcurdling and malicious this darkness was, please go back to the beginning of this call for help for a quick refresher, then return here. I will provide a bookmark within the post (or .pdf if you are receiving a document form of this) so you can easily find this spot again, and know where to continue reading. As I do not have time to format this plea into a proper narrative style, such as including breaks between paragraphs or indents (EDIT: Yes I do but do not get me wrong I am still in immediate danger as I write this!), some readers may find it difficult to read, as it would appear as a single long block of text. This is something that I would most definitely consider if I had more time, but there is something jiggling my bedroom door-knob at this very moment about to enter my room, and the only choice I have is to very quickly write this for anyone in the creepypasta forums to aid me with this situation, either by calling the police (the parental control settings on my iPad forbid me from making phone calls, even emergency ones, and regardless it lies in a million pieces) or by giving me advice on what to do, on the small chance that this has happened to anyone else on these forums, which it couldn’t have had, because as you’ll see as you reread my first few passages in this post, something like this has never happened before. Like I said a moment ago, I will also be distributing this distress signal as a .pdf file, just in case it can reach someone outside of this forum who can help. Without further ado, please refresh yourself with the nature of this night (horror, grisly, generally bad) and return here when you are done.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thank you for refreshing yourself with the context of the darkness outside. Now you can definitely see why I decided not to escape through my bathroom window because of that [adjective] darkness. I must hunker down within the confines of my bathroom, the shield of the bathtub which could deflect even the most tempestuous tornado would surely keep me safe against the hideosity which had recovered from its painful folly and was now chasing down the hallway. I could hear as it slid against the walls, what I could only assume were the falling of wet feet or the sloughing of moist flesh slapping against the ground as it advanced upon my position. It stopped right outside the bathroom door. I slammed the shower curtain shut, and it heard me, as when the curtain made its shrieking noise the monster began to slam against the average strength wooden bathroom door with the ferocity of a cleaner shrimp on the ectoparasites of a fish. It was only a matter of time before the door began to splinter and shatter. The bathtub was strong. The bathtub was an impregnable fortress. I was safe, and the curtain put the thing out of sight. But my mind kept racing. What was I to do now? Wait here until the sun comes up? I had nothing to keep me occupied, I would certainly die of boredom. I knew I had to do something to get rid of the monster. 

I grabbed the shower head from its handle and turned it towards the bathtub’s bottom. I turned the water on as hot as the boiler in the house could handle, and waited until it scalded my skin at the slightest touch, and the room had filled with steam. Readying the handle like an outlaw’s revolver in a wild western standoff, I put a hand on the shower curtain. The monster outside began clicking curiously and I felt its hot corpus nearing my fingers. As quickly as I could, and averting my eyes, I threw the shower curtains open and pulled up the shower head, spraying the near-boiling water onto the creature. It screamed as the noise burst my eardrums, and I heard no more after that. The room filled with so much steam that I could not see even if I did not avert my gaze, I felt that my lungs were being filled with a smooth sea. As the steam cleared, I looked, and the entity was no more. There was nothing but a heap of white viscera on the bathroom floor with the laundry. I almost yelled with victory and shut off the shower after spraying down the last few pulsating cuts of meat on the stained-red tile floor. I was truly safe now, as long as no other STRANGE BEINGS intercepted with my normal life. 

In the shower I cleaned my foul clothing and my own body (not boiling hot of course). After my shower and drying I cleaned the LE™GOs from my floor and got comfy into bed, turning on my laptop to peruse the internet. I noticed that my window blinds were open, so I reached over to close them. My keen hawk-like eyes caught something outside that glinted ever so slightly in the darkness. It was a tall figure, about 6 feet tall, that is, 1.8288 metres in the metric system, or if you are a photon, 1.933057524E-16 lightyears. It stood out in my front yard, and would be completely invisible in the perfect darkness were it not for the slight lighting of the front porch, whose electric lantern was flickering. The figure had an average build, but one thing stood out from its silhouette. A completely cubic head. In a flash it ran to my window, pressing its perfectly square face against it. A sticky green ooze slapped against the window glass and dripped down it slowly. I saw now what the cube resembled, it was a forward facing sticky piston from my favourite video game, Minecraft™! 

From my months of scouring the Minecraft Creepypasta Fandom Wiki, I recognised this entity immediately. I dare not even speak its name here, if you do your own research you will realise what I saw stalking me through my window. I scrum so hard and my peripheral nervous system fired off as if shot with a bullet. I fell off my bed in pain and terror. When I looked back up, the sticky piston monster was gone. Taking its place was a completely different fear, a blank white face on a tall tuxedo-wearing body. It was the Slenderman, but before I could process this change, its appearance morphed once again, it was now Jeff the Killer, now Freddy Fazbear, Lavender Town, SCP-173, the Creepy Smiler, the Grabber, Shadow the Hedgehog, and finally resting on a warped reflection of my own face. 

Worms and weird fishes crawled and swam around my head, emerging from the monster’s nose, and they began to eat away at my face. Its eyes, identical to my own beautiful brown eyes, rolled back in its head, revealing an EVIL version of my eyes on the other side. It did not have a mouth, instead just a small circular hole that hot air blew out from like a leaking steam pipe, fogging up the glass so quickly it looked like it had been snowing outside. I began to smell blood, and looked down at myself. I had fallen on the broken iPad™ glass, and my Pikachu™ pyjamas and skin were cut and penetrated at various small points once again. I did not even feel the pain past the adrenaline pumping through my veins, so I shook the broken glass off and got back in bed, hiding under my covers. I heard the shapeshifter outside slide against the window, walking away, the fallen leaves crunching under its feet. I heard the front door ripped straight off of its wrought iron hinges. It was thrown across the yard I believe, as I heard a loud heavy thud against the leaves and grass in the distance. The footsteps continued into my home, I heard them echo off the kitchen walls, distant, then nearer, nearer and down the hallway and to my door. 

In utter abject horror I realised the worst mistake I would make this entire night. I did not block the door with anything. I threw the blanket off of me, but it was far, far too late. It is here that I must switch to the present tense, as what happens from this point onwards is currently happening to me right now, as I have repeatedly mentioned throughout this post. The ornate gilded doorknob is beginning to slowly turn, I hear its exasperated, monstrous breath bouncing off of the wood of the door with such force, it’s as if it were exhaling a cloud of moths onto it. Please, if anyone sees this, please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please transfer 6000 robux into my roblox account at Wettest_Hands messages are open n links below shows you how 2 do it easy.  I think it is the only thing that can stop this monster. K thx bye

[maaikeatthefullmoon]

Today is World Poetry Day.

I thought poetry wasn’t for me. Didn’t do much in any of my schools (I went to 14 different schools across the globe - we moved a lot), and all of which I did, other than a couple of Walt Whitman poems in one school in the US, I didn’t understand/click with/get any guidance on disseminating.

Part of it was because no one ever read them out to me in any meaningful way. Other than the Whitman poems, when I think back on it.

At university, I had a tradition with my flatmate to watch the Simpsons together every evening (except for lab days, I think I got home too late to catch it on those days) together. I’d never really watched the Simpsons before, it’d been one of the odd things my parents hadn’t allowed.

One night it was one of the Halloween episodes. It was, Dear Reader, definitely not Halloween. But the episode had Poe’s The Raven, as read by Homer Simpson. Bart, of course, was the Raven.

I was in love. I looked it up. Listened to it read out loud by various speakers (sorry Homer, you were supplanted). It remains my favourite poem to this day, 22-ish years later. And it introduced me to poetry.

I still struggle with poetry and I’m picky. I need to take my time with it. Need to listen to it, if I can. Read it out loud to myself. Imagine it being read out. It needs to connect with me. But it’s no longer instantly dismissed as being uninteresting or ‘other’. I wish I could write it (but prose is my only ability, and even that is weak).

With that, I’ll shut up, and leave you with the tattoo I had done last year, my full thigh piece ode to The Raven (said raven needs touching up and more beard & crown chunkiness, I know!):

Image id: black & grey tattoo of a raven with flowers including a large peony, a banner with the word ‘Nevermore’, a dotted halo above the head and the phrase ‘Quoth the Raven’ above it /end image id

[echo-and-dust]

a letter of gratitude to Young Royals

(warning: extremely cheesy)

in september of 2021, i watched this show for the first time, completely unaware of what it was about and simply looking for something to disrupt my boredom.

two rewatches and several internet deep dives later, i was undoubtedly held captive by the story, its characters, and creators and have been ever since. after a traumatizing experience that shoved me back in the closet earlier that summer, young royals entered my life almost exactly when i needed it.

over two and a half years was spent scrolling through beautiful analyses, breaking down over art and fics littered with more prose than they have the right to possess, even outshining many published bestsellers i am familiar with. every fandom will have its trolls, and this one is definitely not exempt, but there is no denying how special this community is with how it seemed to grow overnight and spread the impactful messages of this little show to the rest of the world, to anyone who needed to hear them. it has united people across the world, from many different walks of life, prompting discussions that i never thought i would see happening in my lifetime. it encourages people to talk about the difficult things, the uncomfortable things, so often in such a respectful manner that it can make you forget how outrage-obsessed and uncompromising the internet can be.

many, including myself, have found themselves in these characters, both good and bad, because the show encapsulates what it's truly like to be human in a way that is so full of love and compassion that you don't often find in media. in a culture so obsessed with moral perfection and complete transparency of one's personal life, it is so relieving to have something to remind us that privacy is important, that your feelings are valid, regardless of whether they are good or not. young royals forgives in a way that so much of media and online culture doesn't.

as we approach the final hour before the very last episode of the show's well-deserved three-year-long run, i wanted to use this time to express my gratitude to those who have put their heart and soul into making this work of art the sensation that it is. i cannot wait to see what these talented people have put together for us one last time, and to see how it is celebrated for years to come.

so, as my last attempt at stringing together a coherent thought before i break down crying: thank you, young royals, for helping me grow. thank you for helping me heal. thank you for teaching me to view the world more in shades of grey instead of just black and white. thank you for helping me find beauty in the mundane. thank you for helping me discover things about myself. thank you for reminding me to check my privilege, to uplift the voices of those who may not have as much. thank you for existing.