#The Oda / Akutagawa parallels make me weak ;;;;

[kyouka-supremacy]

I'm never EVER getting over these two Anthology pages

[banchuuya]

Okay so I keep thinking about ch.39 and it's mostly about Atsushi and dealing with his feelings about the headmaster's death. One thing that keeps bothering me is Dazai's monologue at the end of it. At first, as you read through it, it seems like Dazai is trying to comfort Atsushi by acknowledging that the headmaster was very abusive, but in the end he's here today and probably stronger due to it. This seems like an appropriate response, until these panels:

I think this is a little look into Dazai's mind. It makes me think that everything he just said to Atsushi weren't just comfort statements, he actually thinks Atsushi should see the headmaster as a father figure.

(also beast spoilers later continue at your own risk)

While a lot of Dazai's backstory is still really unknown, we do know that he was definitely abused and manipulated by Mori. I'm gonna take a leap here and say that Dazai sees Mori the same as the headmaster. Mori is someone who treated him like shit, but at the end of the day, Mori's actions (which got Oda killed) were the reason that Dazai to left the mafia and ultimately end up "on the good side." Mori keeps him on his toes, Dazai has to keep being better and make no error in judgement or planning in to keep his colleagues safe. While Dazai resents Mori and everything he's done, he views it all as crucial in his development to help others. Even though Mori's intention was definitely not to make him a "good" person, Mori is still the reason that happened for Dazai.

For Atsushi, the headmaster in his head is constantly berating him and pushing him to not be weak, because only those who help others are worthy of living. While with terrible methods, the Headmaster's reasoning was to give him a person to loathe and despise, which would keep Atsushi moving forward in spite.

"Father" is a really strong word for Dazai to use in that statement and I really think it confirms that Dazai's father figure is someone equally fucked up. While it doesn't justify anything that he did to Akutagawa, I think it adds a layer of explanation: as someone who was abused and made stronger, that is why he continued the cycle and thought/thinks it is the most effective method.

I think my point is that it's sad Dazai thinks this way and if we ever get his full backstory it's definitely gonna be really messed up. I think that the parallel with Mori becoming the new orphanage director in Beast is also a way to connect the two. If we consider Beast Mori a reflection of himself, he tells Atsushi that "Using violence to make others yield, ruling by fear-I know better than anyone how efficient and versatile these approaches are. Therefore, I can say this with absolute certainty: such methods should never be used to educate. These are the most barbarous of acts an adult can do to a child."

TLDR: Dazai needs therapy bc he doesn't know what a healthy relationship is

[linkspooky]

Kunikida + Oda: Death of a Good Man

While Kunikida and Oda have never met in canon they are characters with a lot in common. They both essentially play the same role, as the moral center of their respective groups (particularly acting as a conscience for Dazai). They both share the same strengths and weaknesses. However, one lives and one dies. MORE UNDER THE CUT. 

1. Relationship with Dazai

Dazai is a character who has trouble seeing himself as a person. That is, he doesn’t see himself as the same as everyone else. (His ability is titled No Longer Human, surprise, surprise). Oda says as much to Dazai, that traditional values like good or evil don’t really mean that much to him. 

“Whether you’re on the side that takes lives, or the side that saves them nothing beyond your own expectations will happen. Nothing in this world can fill the hole that is your loneliness. You will wander for eternity.” 

...

“Be on the side that saves people. If both sides are the same, then choose to be a good person.” - Osamu Dazai and the Dark Era

It’s not that Dazai is a sociopath, or even unfeeling, it’s just that he is so distanced from his own humanity, and from other people. He genuinely believes he can’t feel the same way as they do. Dazai even described the way he saw himself to Fyodor. 

Dazai tells Fyodor that he feels like he’s sperate from everyone else. It’s like he’s the player, and everybody else is pieces on the game board. But, even though he might come up with strategies and move the pieces, he’s not really the one changing things, or affecting other people’s lives because he’s not right there in the middle of things he’s far away. 

Dazai even flashes back to Oda and Gide’s final showdown when trying to explain this feeling to Fyodor. Oda his closest and only friend at the time, who he could not reach out to and save. Dazai believes he can’t touch other people, he can’t reach out and save them, because he sees himself as lacking in feelings or a heart. Which is why, Dazai relies on the people around him. Dazai attached himself to Oda when he was in the Mafia, and then again to Kunikida when he was detective agency to essentially act as his heart, his external conscience for him. That’s the relationship he shares with both of them. It’s why the first two light novels are essentially about Dazai, but narrated from the point of view of his partner at the time. Light novel one is about his partnership with Kunikida, and Light Novel 2 is about his friendship with Oda back in the dark age. The connection between them is that both Oda, and Kunikida are good, just men who have tried to understand Dazai in one way or another. 

The events of both light novels even mirror each other to an extent. Entrance exam is about Dazai joining the agency, Dark Era is about Dazai leaving the mafia. Entrance exam is about Kunikida failing to understand Dazai, but learning to trust him anyway. Dark Era is about Oda being the only one who fully understands Dazai, but then not listening to him at the end of the story. They both end with a symbolic death, Oda commits double suicide with Gide, whereas Kunikida pretends to shoot Dazai in order to follow his plan. 

Dazai’s a master strategist, but he’s not a leader of men, nor does he have any particular ideals he stands for. Dazai was given a position of leadership within the port mafia, and not only did he spend the entire time tormenting his closest subordinate but he didn’t care about the lives of his subordinates the way Chuuya does. 

Dazai sees Kunikida as someone having the ideals he does not have, therefore doing what he cannot, and being what he cannot be to others. This is a role Oda used to serve as his one and only friend. However, while they occupy the same spot as Dazai’s most trusted person their relationships with him are very different.

Kunikida is very combative with Dazai and always fighting against him. He personally expects Dazai to be better in all aspects. He scolds him for being lazy and neglecting his work. When Dazai messes with other people or manipulates them, it’s Kunikida who is the first to get frustrated with him. Kunikida also, tends to lack a fundamental understanding of Dazai. It’s a running joke that he’s always a step behind him (he’s the last person to find out Dazai was a mafia member when everyone else already knew). The literal first thing established about their relationship in the first chapter, is that they are constantly fighting with each other. They barely make it through a dinner with Atsushi. 

However, Kunikida also listens to Dazai when it’s important. It’s the other way around with Oda, Oda is someone who does fundamentally understand who Dazai really is deep down. However, at the same time Oda doesn’t really try to exert any influence over Dazai until the very end of his life. Their relationship was defined by being distant to one another, and not asking questions.

The reason why Ango and I were able to be by his side was that we understood the solitude that surrounded him, and we never stepped inside it no matter how close we stood. 

But in that moment, I kind of regretted not stepping in and invading that solitude.

Dazai Osamu and the Dark Era. 

 Him, Ango and Dazai could only keep meeting as the Buraiha at the Lupin bar if they pretended to not know anything about what each other did outside of the bar. They’re different in one main aspect, Kunikida fights Dazai, and Oda doesn’t start fighting until it’s almost far too late. 

2. Living and Dying for One’s Ideals

One more direct parallel between the two is that Kunikida and Oda are both characters who strive to live up to the ideal they find in a book. Literally. Kunikida obsessively writes out his ideals in his notebook where he has his whole future planned out.

What are ideals? There are innumerable answers to that question. One could say it’s merely a term, or an idea, or perhaps even the soruce of all meaning. But if you ask me, the answer is obvious. It’s the word written on the cover of my notebook.  My notebook has all the answers. It is my creed, my master, and a prophet that guides me. At times, it can either be a weapon ro a solution. Ideals. Everything I am is written in this notebook which I always carry with me. My entire future lies within it - Osamu Dazai’s Entrance Exam

Oda picked up a book and loved it so much he wanted to write the ending for himself.

After worrying about it for so long, I came to one conclusion.  “Then you write what happens next.” I decided to write about it myself. I would become a novelist, and write a story about why the man stopped killing. But to become a novelist, I needed to sincerely know what it meant to live. So, I stopped killing. -   Osamu Dazai and the Dark Era. 

Kunikida and Oda are both characters who find their will to live for the future within the pages of a book. Which makes sense as both characters struggle with lofty ideals and a harsh reality. Oda and Kunikida are characters written about the struggle to be a good man, in a world that is not good. To hold ideals, in a world that is not ideal. This once again ties back to what Dazai said to Fyodor, God isn’t perfect harmony, he’s illogical and absurd.

The world isn’t ideal and orderly. It’s extremely, extremely messy. Kunikida and Oda are both characters who strive to be better, and want the world to be better and because of that they fall into conflict. However, Oda lost his fight, and Kunikida is still fighting. Part of why Dazai got so attached to Kunikida is also because he saw Oda’s ideals within Kunikida, and knew that carrying those ideals could crush him so easily. 

“Justice is a weapon. It can be used to harm, but it cannot protect and save others.”  -Osamu Dazai’s Entrance Exams

The meanings of Dazai’s words are clear when you look at them in the context of what he learned after losing Oda. Oda decided to throw his life away to avenge the children after Gide. He achieved justice then. However, nobody was saved. The children were already dead. Oda himself wasn’t saved. Dazai lost his only friend. 

“Something?” I looked at Dazai. “There isn’t anything, Dazai. It’s all over. Everything. Whatever else happens now is meaningless - just like I’m about to do. AM I wrong?”  “Odasaku...” Dazai said softly. “Forgive me for the absurd wording but - don’t go. Find something to rely on. Expect good things to happen from here on out. There’s gotta be soemthing...”

[...]

Oda’s march against Gide isn’t just tragic, it’s a deliberate choice. It was a suiide. He’s given several oppurtunities to just walk away, or wait for something else to give him a reason to live and he doesn’t. His final actions hurt more than they helped. Yes, he did save Dazai in a way by throwing his life away, but Dazai also lost the person who could understand him. Oda could have lived. He could have done more if he had lived. Dazai even says so in dead apple, saving people is the more beautiful path, but you have to be alive to see that beauty. 

This is also why Kunikida and Oda have such a connection to Dazai. Underneath their struggles to be a good man they are both constantly dealing with suicidal feelings. 

Kunikida is far more fragile than he lets on. Part of the reason he attaches himself to ideals rather than people, is because caring about people hurts, and he is so afraid of failing the people in his life (the same way Oda eventually failed to protect the children) that he can’t admit the depth to which he cares about them.

Kunikida struggles to save everyone in front of him, but that’s also because Kunikida is internally someone who is very fragile. He can’t handle the loss, especially losing those he is close to. When Atsushi is hospitalized after his first fight with Akutagawa, he pretends to be unconcerned. When Atsushi wants to save Kyoka, Kunikida tries to persuade him to not save her. Oda and Kunikida are both avoidant characters, Oda avoided ever stepping inside of Dazai’s loneliness, and Kunikida avoids getting close to others because they fear the people they cannot save. Kunikida cares so much and so deeply, that he’s completely shattered when he fails someone. 

Every strategy by the detective agency’s enemies relies on crushing Kunikida because he’s the easiest target. When he fails like this he wants to give up. Kunikida and Oda have this dark underside to their actions where they’re fighting continually to be better, but when they fail, they long to throw their lives away and give up the struggle. 

Part of the reason they’re attracted to Dazai is deep down Kunikida and Oda both have the same suicidal feelings. Kunikida knows that his ideals will never live up to the reality. 

However, secretly he longs to fail so he won’t have to struggle against it anymore. 

“I let go of Dazai. I understand what he’s aying. Perhaps righteousness isn’t something you seek in others, but something you search for inside of yourself. Even then... Miss Sasaki is dead, and so is Rokuzo.  All I’ve found in my search for righteousness within myself is a sense of hopelessness.”

Osamu Dazai’s Entrance Exam

The question is can you continue to live? Even if you fail over and over again to do better. Even if the things you try to protect all die. Kunikida’s arc so far mirrors Oda’s. The things he told himself he would protect, he failed to. The promises he made, he breaks. He said he was never going to watch a child die in front of him, and then it happens. 

He said he was never going to fail to protect the agency again, but then the agency became the victims of the hunting dogs, and Kunikida had to go completely on the run. He said he was going to throw himself away in a big bang against the hunting dogs to show his ideals would never fail, and instead.

He even loses his ideals and his ability to write in the notebook. So, what is the difference between Kunikida and Oda that allows Kunikida to keep struggling where Oda did not. I think it’s not really a difference between them, so much as it’s a difference between Dazai. Dazai’s grown since then and realized his mistakes with Oda, and because of that doesn’t stay at a comfortable distance from Kunikida.

Dazai has grown enough between then and now he’s able to reach people who feel similiarly to him. He understood the suicidal feelings of both Kunikida, and Oda, but he didn’t reach out to Oda until it was too late. However, Dazai has grown to the point where he not only understands Kunikida’s struggle and sympathizes with him, but he’s also able to say the words he couldn’t say to Oda until it was too late. 

There’s no such thing as a point of no return. There is no point where everything is already over. Even if you fail to protect someone, even if you fail to protect everyone. 

"Anything I would never want to lose will be lost. It is given that everything that is worth wanting will be lost the moment I obtain it. There's nothing worth pursuing at the cost of prolonging life of suffering."

Dazai is still the same person that said this. Deep down that’s what Kunikida and Oda both fear, that after Oda failed the orphans, that after Kunikida could not save an innocent child in front of them, that no matter how hard they fought all of their attempts to protect someone would fail that way. At which point their fighting seemed to become meaningless.

Dazai knowing those feelings has moved past that lament. He still believes that the struggle may be meaningless, but he reassures them that they can keep fighting anyway. 

If there’s no great glorious ideal to live for, if nothing we do matters, than all that matters is what we do. The world isn’t good, the world will never be as good as we want it to be, yet Kunikida can still strive to be good in the face of that.

[sword-dad-fukuzawa]

Oda and Dazai

Buckle up, y’all, it’s going to be an extremely long one. 

It’s currently 10:42 where I live and, because I refuse to sleep, here’s a post inspired by @sometimes-i-try​ ‘s comment on my “The Cycle of Abuse in BSD” post. Basically, exploring this question:

How much did Oda inspire and influence Dazai, and how much did he change?

To start, let’s break down the relationship between Oda and Dazai. Oda was, IMO, Dazai’s only true friend. Despite the age difference, Dazai doesn’t see him as a mentor. However, Dazai does have an immense amount of respect for him. He holds Oda in such a high regard that he talks about how Aku could never defeat him in a hundred years. 

Numerous times, Dazai is concerned for Oda’s safety. He says, “don’t push yourself too hard until I get there” when Oda phones him about the Mimic sniper, and he brushed off Oda’s remark about having the Silver Oracle. That says that Dazai would have gone to help him regardless. After Oda gets poisoned and immediately decides to go rescue Akutagawa, Dazai seems reluctant to let him leave. Yet, something important to note here is that Dazai doesn’t actually stop him. After Oda’s kids are brutally murdered by Mimic, Dazai again tells Oda not to go. But this time, he reaches out to grasp his shoulder, yells his name, does the Dazai equivalent of begging him not to go after them because he knows he’s walking to his death. This is significant to my next point. 

Something I noticed about Dark Era Dazai is that he’s a really passive character. He notices from the beginning that Ango is lying about going to a deal, right after seeing his bag, and figures he’s a traitor. But instead of trying to salvage the situation, he accepts that he’s going to lose someone he clearly values. He even states this outright later on, saying that:

Ango. Go before I change my mind. I’m not sad. I knew this from the beginning...anything I never want to lose is lost.

Dazai is, at his core, utterly resigned to losing what’s important to him over and over again. By this point, it isn’t something he fights against. 

Until that scene, as they stand by the wreckage of the van, when he reaches out and actually tries to physically stop Odasaku from throwing his life away. Oda gives Dazai agency as a character, something to fight for other than himself. 

But we learn the most about these two at the climax, when Oda is fighting Gide and the anime cuts between epic gun fight and Dazai talking to Mori. This is Dazai, for the first time, doing something incredibly out of character. Mori calls him out on it, too, reminding him that there’s no logical reason for Dazai to try and save Oda. Dazai agrees but he goes anyway, because Odasaku is his friend and he can’t let him die. 

But Dazai comes too late. The shot cuts to a wider angle, so we can see Dazai full on sprinting toward Oda’s body. He casts off his jacket as he goes (remember that for later) and he kneels, cupping Oda’s head in his lap. Dazai isn’t a man who makes a habit out of lying to himself, as we saw with the Ango situation. And yet, he says this:

You might still make it. No, you will still make it. 

He genuinely sounds freaked out and distraught, and Oda corrects him because he knows he’s about to die. This is Dazai showing his only moments of vulnerability in, I’d argue, the entire anime. Because then Oda tells him that if he keeps going on like he has, “nothing beyond what you expect will appear”. Dazai’s eyes widen and his mouth goes slack. He looks horrified, even more than at the idea of Oda’s death. 

I chose to interpret this as that Dazai’s been carrying on with the PM hoping something will change, hoping that he will find a reason to live. Part of him expects that he will always be lonely and purposeless, but he keeps going anyway, for that small sliver of hope that it will be different eventually. Oda shatters his conviction. 

Dazai, for all his character flaws, is defined by his conviction. He is almost never wrong and seems near-omnipotent with his genius intelligence. Even when he is wrong, he has a backup plan. Dazai doesn’t ask for help from anyone, and he never needs it. 

Until now. 

Then he says, “Odasaku, what should I do?” 

Out of everything in this scene, this question hit me the hardest. In this moment, Dazai doesn’t look like a ruthless PM executive, the youngest ever, who has killed people and will do so again. He looks startlingly young, especially as after Oda answers--telling him that since good and evil aren’t things that matter to him, he may as well be on the good side--and he asks, “How do you know?”

Dazai’s uncertain, and he’s showing that uncertainty to the one person who has ever seemed to understand him by cutting past his facetious bullshit and personas to see him underneath. Visually, this is when Oda’s hand falls and he tugs off Dazai’s bandages, letting him “see” clearly. 

Oda was the first, and so far, only, person to see Dazai for who he was. For that, Dazai trusted Oda’s opinion over his own, because he knew him better than he knew himself. 

We see the impact of Oda’s death immediately after. Dazai wastes no time in following his last words, because two weeks later, Dazai’s in his ADA outfit and asking Taneda for a job. He says two things during that conversation that struck me. When Taneda asks where he wants to work, he answers, “somewhere I can help people”, and asks later, “Can I do work that saves people?”

For seemingly the first time, Dazai isn’t asking about himself, or to further to goals of his boss. Those are two entirely selfless things and a complete 180 from his previous apathy. Before, he woke up each morning to find a reason for himself. After Oda, he wants to save others. (Visually, this change is foreshadowed when he takes off the coat while running to Oda. It’s the coat he got after being inducted into the PM, and it was originally Mori’s. He, quite literally, rejects the PM.)

We see the extent of Oda’s influence at other points in the series. He was told to save the weak and the orphans--Atsushi, namely. In the scene where he’s convincing Kyouka to pilot the helicopter to stop the Moby Dick, he obviously believes that she can redeem herself. He draws parallels between Kyouka and himself, though she doesn’t see them. So, in the end?

Oda helped Dazai believe in redemption, that a person can become and stay good. In doing so, he gave Dazai something to live for.