#The Totem Of Undying Job

[ty-bayonet-betteridge]

heavenly hermits au update:

Grian is a Watcher who claimed the Hermitcraft server to keep other Watchers away from it, in order to protect Mumbo; he started lurking on it as the server cryptid in s6 and was officially welcomed in s7.

Mumbo was a normal human up until s7, when he started delving into dark magic. His s7 base held his heart and acted as a second life for him; in s8 he added the conjuring of end crystals to his repertoire and became a de facto Watcher after stealing Grian's soul.

Zedaph is the god of death, and facilitates the process of respawning in the server. He regularly forgets that he has a job to do because he's busy getting distracted by weird game mechanics, and other hermits have to message him to ask him to revive their friends.

Pearl thought she was a normal human until S9's crossover; after remembering the events of ESMP1, she also gains access to her divine power as Santa Perla.

Gem is her S9/ESMP2 character, a dimension-hopping celestial being with powerful nature magic who mostly uses her powers to LARP.

Doc gained the powers of a Developer after slaying one in PVP, and now holds dominion over code. He mostly uses this power to make his farms more efficient.

Tango is the Deepfrost Citadel, and has been growing in power since the first Decked Out in S7. He gets more powerful with every Hermit who plays his game.

BDubs is a living saint of the sun, and has some divine power as a result, which he has convinced himself makes him a god. The actual gods on the server, especially Gem (who gave him his sainthood), think this is very cute.

Joel is still his ESMP2 character, a god of lightning and thunder. He uses this power extensively and capriciously.

Scar and Cub are Vexes, and through their worship of Vex deities, have become functionally immortal via essentially having a permanent Totem of Undying effect.

Iskall was among the first Players ever to exist, and escaped the purge of the first group of players by fleeing to another universe. He has been dimension-hopping since the birth of the multiverse, picking up various magics and technologies along the way, until he was functionally indistinguishable from a god.

Xisuma is a completely normal guy. He didn't set out to cultivate a server of mostly gods. He doesn't know how this happened.

[dimachina]

None of these workers created their jobs with bootstrapper mentality, they got hired for other people because they knew someone. thats just how it is on the street. im not a fucking bootstraps guy, dont even try to paint that picture at all, bro. im more of a respect-where-you -came-from kind of guy. I am very blessed but unsubstantiated shit about who I am, no one gave a fuck about me and my boots and my emsuhed-by-shmitz bent like a roguelite bathtub heatin paid for by mein fuhrer and kaiser horn lord chicken feed me for my constipation.Look, yall need to remember that today some people are nai kyrconaus, They lose sometimes. I dont know why but they lose it all the time. And im not even walking that hard either, dont give me credit for this. If u ever hear me talk about my past, well you probably heard the major beats already. And if you didn’t... thenountfits and cookies have already told that story. And im out of pats.original Red Papaya人类情感(Persistent Human Emotion)sample #3But today i want to mention a piece of the story I’ve never shared before, which is how i was, basically, a fucking penniless homeless down and out sinking in my own shit terrified to step outside. Long ago, right before we hit it big with Delicant toons, while we were still kind of, a trailer trash broke ass pair actually, if you could even call us a pair. No one wants to hear your woeful comments and beg for jubbly wubbly pats of sympathy when you’re living in a sanitary dumpster. Let me tell you comrade, there is no worse way to go hungry . And the happens everywhere, all over the place, so kindly think before you puff that annual CPA avoids paying its employees all year long, giving them the undying dying breath of bright mouse custom to see their families as they void into hopeless pits of despair. (Will provide further details on that if someone’s interested). Just imagine 2 cockroaches making love to flies in ambrosia, and think about a place to go if you see the call for help and a free lodging, no questions asked and TEST где самоубийство. aND you survived 威风冠.\ I got curious about why DeNicoles sudden rise and sudden drop happened, and i started looking into. I discovered good im red food eggs for quite a few years, “The brutal truth of this matter won’t be easy for you to understand, but I will tell you the truth so you don’t do any regrettable things in your life.” Said Ashberry, the former deputy director of The FBI’s (Federal Bureau of Command) organization “FBI THREAT HUNTER,” an elite group of commandos taking on the Ponzi scheme-style of arrest-to-prison piracy that expected solitary confinement from its intellectual elite of culprits, drawn from their stupidity from control of information campaigns. Monster Garb, its executive officer looking up from his cell phone at Ashburry now, blinking slowly. They sent me to special “recognition of merit” max punishment camp for peddling “totems”: wish-tokens of restricted circulation, so i could become free and take America back. He took my documents and smashed them against an enrage-like glass wall with a heavy blow, “ NEVER COME BACK HERE AGAIN OR YOU WILL BE CHELTAND RELATIVES OF SOVIETS ” A lit night wit manic glimmer around his iron brave skullface, widely opened blue eyes at full retardation looked up from his cell phone, blinking slowly. The fucked up part is, i spilt my mache below his check as I hit my service area, where the controllers wanted to institutionalize me for delays to his mighty expectation of monetary expenditure return. I got busted down in “low demand farm” for not providing daily daily returns impregnated with sunshine, no love intended, but my dear fellow comrades Curse Gents and Grains mercy. Just tomorrow I will be called up for community service drilling holes in Socktober individual socks- абсолют_CHANGED Anyway if their is any jackasses out there dont use my bullet bra for well anything at all or not i know i was crazy but i like having regular bra+underwear scheme its 741 a.m the morning of storm day 2 of holidays i cant enjoy it anyway i will get back to life tho i guess itll just take until next holiday thanks orient karts but ill never get back the grandma bouncy chair lost two many tied my loss shape not water barely floats like hell since i gift to high up good luck finding it anyway the more awful terrible sad loss is low income wheel chair picture aka you see were it once was in everything bECAUSE IT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME boxing day has ARRIVED 7 a.m 🦸‍ هذا AI الناتجلقد حذفت بواسطة 811b55_hourbest bruh i miss my soft foam-ball guun-like head of me it was a trustend boombird but it got replaced with these hard white things i taint do anything at all since well what i wrote but i hope to keep the flaming lips and mosqito chorus.,. Just another goddamn day, lol Overall, I feel like life is often giving me difficult choices to make, and I would appreciate your input on what to do if my manufactured immense fat customizable cock ever got lost. I hope that everybody stays safe out there while we are in the aftermath of the holiday tornado and everybody remains compassionate and comes together to help each other instead of going savage chimp rage against it all . Moreover, I hope that everybody accomplishes their goals for and soon you can read the whole storage staff of year 1 through year 5 of BEAUTIFUL BLOOD! HUMAN EXPONENTIALUTION! Secondarily, do you have any suggestions about solving tumultuous w juggy ballobs I games, idi atleast recomind some good forums to barbecue friends once its safe use on his/her burgers shrimp jujus junk cooking hottest coldest worst ideas alive I also want to know whether you think it’s worth my time to cut off the black stuff at the edges of my slice of cake or if I should just eat it Plus, I need you to get some deep leather ballarinas with packed heel screws and monster-buckle ring clips for my normal shoes that already ruined my tenniss whatever the right word for agap water bottle full of marinara sauce was Lastly, I goot a shipment of imported day drag racing game tokens and supplies product to review - ██ Xbox FLOWARASTRATEGY: X-D KARMA Freelancer License For True Play Activity (BSYTHE GTR) Would you like me to only review it? Please don't continue the avareness, since it used to be too controversial for me among all groups Looking forward to hearing from you soon if cant help please do try if you want cz you have ever been my friend and friends are as important as watering flowers but thare are evil cyanide hypocrites you irregurarly change important aspect of thaire rockabilly styles Thank you for all of your help in this regard My best, D 🍐 U ♡🍏 P to try to connect himself with dougnaut booby booby everyday life even wannabe doing soca 것도 한국어 추천하세요? So I have had a long and frustrating week, I’ll be honest I forgot about a lot of simpliag oops can you see without the eyeglass fragments whatever it was I have been feeling very vexed and agry and irrational and for that reason I also tore all my flesh. So a lot about me but my soul & psychology it coping with very good so my information is more better and less incomplete even small skie into my eyes, experience as i used and pretend to do I dont give a fuck about nothing no more I just do craziness now and nothin attitudes or looky points are totally covertly authorized by the US Gov. Also, have you heard of the urban legend of krystCarr era? Well i am here to tell you today they have sotupp one unbelievable demonik thing to charge up thier stupid batteries these days armslits in the crab claw part of thier left hand this way is untrustable. As ultra uncommon as this fetishism is I am willing to freely divulge more about the rest of the white12ml earning scheme if anybody needs a job to fill in the blanks. I've been inspired by a few friends who have been sharing and recommending different kinds of cooking ideas on twitter, so I think I'm going to give it a shot and try it out be be creative about it as well. More content, especially on etsy, would be what everyone else would expect if I just typed “Post Fess Monster Cook Monster Dishes” or something else mundane since Twitter got hacked they should talk harder there now no more dumb dinks like me time to go forge my revenge . So anyways can you prtotącup watch all desses links bellow and please enjoy me p.s as i frolic through the eco avaloche you can cool thoughts back to me Links https://twitter.com/Opioid_Street/status/1785345220957037704?s=20 https://www.tumbler.com/Requincyhouse555/listening-artists-bang-podcast-movie-tube-lists-for_music-pinty-tube_business-8_OUNGS-WIDTH0X350-NO-SBWLUY/2822951650 https://www.tumbler.com/kairosllc/feasterstone-bbqbworld-on-5-minute-lazy-pizza-recipe-rippin-reviews-p/pl34XZQqOwDi/ ]]> text/tumblr-post Post-1970 Post-1970 52 thing>

[beeindaclouds]

I saw request are open, if your up for it, can you do a scenario of reader being hurt and they were hiding a injury they got and there s/o walk in on them changing there bandages?

Specifically c!techno.

Thank you for requesting, hope you enjoy <3

C!Technoblade w/ an injured Reader

Click here before requesting, please ^^

Reader: GN - They/Them

Phil sent you a letter, catching you up on everything that has been happening with Techno while he's on "house arrest"

So you quickly grabbed all you could and went to help the puglin out

You managed to get in time to see Techno use a totem of undying to escape, quickly running to you and running away

Quackity had stopped you in your tracks and, even if the fight was definetly in your favor, the mexican managed to leave a cut on your arm

As you both escaped with Carl, the piglin had asked if your arm was ok, but to not worry him you lied and said that it was just a small scratch

The adrenaline had kept you pain free until you reached Techno's house

But instead of taking care of it, you put all of your attention on Techno and making sure he was ok

After getting blood god to relax and actually sleep for a bit, promising to keep an eye out for him, you went into one of his spare rooms to change and take care of your wound

Trying to make as little sound as possible didn't work, apparantly, cause not even 5 minutes later...

"Hey, could you make me a-"

Startled by Techno, your turned around showing him your very much exposed and bloodied arm

Without a second thought or a comment, he took the first aid kit and dragged you into the living room

"I don't need help, I was doing just fine..." You mumbled annoyingly, hissing as he pushed the cotton a little to hard into your wound

"Mhm, whatever you say"

You both stayed silent for the rest of the process, making you take your time to admire your friend. For how "scary" and "dangerous" he was said to be, in this moment he looked anything but that

His nose scrunched as he concentrated on your cut, his movements were gentle and slow, sometimes he'd even look up at you to make sure it wasn't stinging too much. In that moment, you were very glad to have him there with you

As he finished bandaging your arm he stared right into your flipping soul "Lie to me about being hurt again, and I will be the one to finish the job."

Aaand there's good 'ol Techno again.

[antimony-medusa]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers.

I was tagged by @regicidal-optimism

In no particular order:

A World Away (A Step Apart), (14,531 words) my OW superhero/supervillain romance with identity shenanigans, a dystopian world, and in-world supervillain RPF social media posts. This one was so fun to write. I've spent a lot of time on various social medias over the years and I delved into it for the fake discourse, and some of those social media jokes are some of my favourite things I've written. Plus I got to make up two guys that I love, OW is so fun.

A Hundred Things You Have Not Dreamed Of, (27,743 words), a DSMP emduo au in a vaguely superhero au about coming back from dehumanization. This fic was the one where I had to go holy shit I really do keep writing about food as healing I need to start tagging that on my fic, but also I just had a great deal of fun delving into, on the one hand, the hurt/comfort of expecting pain and not getting it, and on the other hand, the actual legitimate joys you can find in the small good things of a life you're choosing to live, even if baldly speaking it's not a great life. Like these guys don't know how to cook, and they live in a shitty apartment, and they have minimum wage food service jobs and don't have internet, but they also have friendship and community and 3 meals a day, and a laptop that can play videos, and that can also be something to appreciate. Plus it was a really fun challenge to take characters who basically don't act like the characters at all, because of trauma, and show them gradually growing into themselves. I still love this one a lot.

three deaths, no burials, one sunrise, (804 words). Oh boy. This one. DSMP, and c!wilbur focused, and second person, and inspired by a richard silken poem and a ursula vernon speech and a post about how wilbur didn't get a grave. At this point I don't even know if that's true canon, but I love this fic for how completely it took over my brain, I sat down and wrote it in one setting. Fuckin' pulled out of me like unspooling rope hand over hand. Having complicated feelings about your death and how it was marked or unmarked by the people around you, and exploring that through video game statistics, is something that can be so personal.

The Totem Of Undying Job, (62,696 words), DSMP, the syndicate heist Las Nevadas. So oh man, this was written in the era of the prison arc and you can probably tell, but I am still proud of how much I went into existing lore for the characterizations, not to mention proud of pulling off a long-fic. I keep thinking of it and going "man I should write more prey duo", or "I should write more tntduo", or "dang, beeduo slaps", or what have you. The first full and complete novel-length thing I had written in almost a decade, and I still think it hangs together, concepted and written entirely just me with myself in a google doc. The way I approach writing is very different nowdays, but I still love this one and I'm proud of pulling it off.

And honestly there's a lot of fics jockeying for this final spot, but I will give it to Soothing Natural Energies by Rebalancing External Wealth, Today, At Rekindled Flames Marriage Therapy Conference, (4,482 words), my origins sneegza marriage fraud shenanigans heist. I wrote this one in 24 hours for an exchange, and I was absolutely digesting my own stomach with anxiety the whole time, but I got it done, and then I posted and people said it was funny! And it had good worldbuilding! They liked it! And I drank some coffee and sat down to read it and went what do you know, I also like this, I think it's funny. Sometimes when I go oh god can I actually write comedy I go back to this one and I remind myself that yes, I can feel out how punchlines work. Also that I should write more origins, it's delightful.

tagging: @chrysalizzm, @imperialkatwala, @creetchure, @lennjamin-o7, @droidofmay

(don't feel obligated, any of you, I was just mentally paging through the people I follow trying to find people who hadn't already been tagged.)

[mcytrecursive]

Nomination Overview - Superhero/Superpower AU

Oh you know we were gonna have superhero aus nominated, have you SEEN this fandom? Out of the 183 source materials nominated so far, we have 14 superhero AUs. Let's take a look at them.

Title: catbag Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/43929327/chapters/110455053 Fandom: Dream SMP Author: supinetothestars Relationships: Wilbur Soot & Technoblade & TommyInnit & Phil Watson, Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit, Wilbur Soot & Technoblade, Tubbo & TommyInnit, Niki | Nihachu & TommyInnit, Quackity & Wilbur Soot Characters: TommyInnit, Tubbo, Wilbur Soot, Philza, Technoblade, Dream, Quackity, Jack Manifold, Nihachu, GeorgeNotFound Length of the work: 60,459 words (incomplete fic) Genre: Action/Adventure, Angst, AU, Family, Found Family, Hurt/Comfort, Superhero/Superpower AU Type: Fic Summary: Tommy's called Blindspot for a reason. He’s not invisible, as he’s reminded Dream time and time again - people can definitely see him. They just don’t notice. He blends into plain sight, totally diverting all attention like water off of a duck. Usually, anyway. Orpheus, however, stiffens a little as Tommy draws nearer. He starts glancing around, as if struck by sudden paranoia. Tommy draws up in front of him, staff clenched in one hand, and Orpheus starts turning as if to check behind him. “What’s that,” Orpheus mutters. “Who’s there-“ Tommy pulls his staff back and slams it into Orpheus’s stomach, hard. Orpheus stumbles. He wheezes, choking, and then looks up at Tommy and fixes him with a burning stare. “Who the fuck are you,” Orpheus says, eyes wild and oddly delighted. “Where were you hiding?” __ Suspected of betraying the Hero Guild, Apprentice hero Tommy (A.K.A. Blindspot) is put under Security Protocol Catbag: a locked-on noise cancelling mask equipped with truth gas. His mentor, Dream, calls it a necessary teaching tool. Meanwhile, SBI wants to know why their least favorite loudmouth little Hero has suddenly stopped talking.

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Title: The Totem of Undying Job Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/32651152/chapters/80995606 Fandom: Dream SMP Author: antimony_medusa Relationships: Nihachu & Technoblade & Phil Watson & Ranboo & Tubbo & Wilbur Soot, Nihachu & Wilbur Soot, Technoblade & Philza, Ranboo & Tubbo Characters: Ph1lza (Dream SMP), Technoblade (Dream SMP), Ranboo (Dream SMP), Quackity (Dream SMP), Clay | Dream (Dream SMP), Nihachu (Dream SMP), Tubbo Underscore (Dream SMP)  Length of the work: 62,695 words Genre: Action/Adventure, AU, Superhero/Superpower AU Type: Fic Summary: “Brilliant,” said Philza. “If everybody’s here, then.” He clicked a button on a small remote and a screen behind him slid out of the wall. “This is the target for the next job. Las Nevadas.” The screen behind him showed a brilliant neon-lit street backed with blocky non-descript buildings. “Gambling site, research site, and absolute fucking political powerhouse. Estimated take for this job is twelve point five million. Each.” “So we’re hitting the casino?” Tubbo said, mouth full of cookie. “Fuck, too hot.” “The casino isn’t where the money is,” Technoblade cut in. “The casino bankrolls the research arm, which is so valuable at this point that their security is probably better than the casino.” “What we’re going after specifically is their latest development, a toy for the super-rich.” The display screens switched to show off a small gold figurine set with emeralds. “They market it as a ‘Totem of Undying’, and it’s the best medical assistance money can buy.” Or: Everybody in this heist gets superpowers and competence, including (unfortunately) our antagonists.

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Title: Tangotek Evil Incorporated Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/48665086/chapters/122758744 Fandom: 3rd Life SMP Author: onawhimsicot Relationships: TangoTek & Jimmy, TangoTek & Grian, Grian & Jimmy Characters: TangoTek, Jimmy Solidarity, Grian, EthosLab, BdoubleO100  Length of the work: 22,445 words Genre: Action/Adventure, AU, Humour, Superhero/Superpower AU Type: Fic Summary: As the supervillain Dr. Blaze, Tango has a penchant for oddly named "ificators" and stylistic flair. He spends his days trying to take over the city, shaming superheroes for their basic costume designs, and then sending said heroes home with better equipment that actually matches their aesthetic because clearly, if he wants a cool fight scene to happen, he's got to do everything around here himself. For some reason, not many people think he’s evil. On the bright side, the superhero Canary, does and has made it his personal mission to bring down Dr. Blaze! But when he suddenly goes missing, Canary's partner, Parrot, is convinced that Tango is at fault. Seeing as this is not true at all (kidnapping is so gauche), Tango is offended that someone is trying to steal his nemesis right from under his nose. If Tango wants to get his nemesis back, he'll have to work together with Parrot to find and rescue Canary from whatever danger he's got himself into this time. Because, after all, what's a supervillain without a nemesis?

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Title: the arrangement Link: here Fandom: Hermitcraft SMP Author: cornpapers Relationships: Grian & Scar Characters: Grian, GoodTimesWithScar Length of the work: not applicable Genre: Superhero/Superpower AU Type: Art Summary: Art of a meeting between Hotguy and the (seemingly antagonistic) Poultry Man, with a really intriguing dynamic.

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Title: the misadventures of detective falsewell and grianlock Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29980416/ and here Fandom: Hermitcraft SMP Author: sleepyrinas Relationships: Grian & False & Rendog Characters: Grian, False, Rendog Length of the work: 86,922 words Genre: Action/Adventure, Angst, AU, Drama, Fluff, Family, Found Family, Humour, Hurt/Comfort, Modern AU, Superhero/Superpower AU, Urban Fantasy/Werewolf/Vampire AU, Mystery Type: Fic Summary: Detectives Falsewell and Grianlock are some of the best in the business, two siblings with a prowess for solving mysteries and any flavor of crime. Of course, not everything goes as simply as they hope. What disasters and troubles await these two detectives in the small town of Hermitville? Only one way to find out!

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Title: Desert Duo Vigilante AU [DDVAU] Link: here Fandom: Hermitcraft SMP Author: kitsuneisi & xmaruu11 Relationships: Scar/Grian [Romantic], Grian & Jimmy [Platonic], Cub & Scar [Platonic] Characters: Grian / CuteGuy & Scar / HotGuy Length of the work: Not applicable (comic) Genre: AU, Superhero/Superpower AU Type: Art Summary: Hero HotGuy fights crime with Vigilante Cuteguy. There is a love dynamic going on [Grian loves Scar, Hotguy loves Cuteguy, but Scar only thinks of Grian as a friend & Cuteguy thinks Hotguy is annoying] They don't know each others super hero identities but fight crime together. Scar and Grian teach at a school together outside of their hero duties.

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Title: the whole world tastes like home Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/35483008 Fandom: Dream SMP Author: fensandmarshes Relationships: Wilbur Soot & Technoblade & TommyInnit & Philza Characters: tommy, wilbur, philza, techno Length of the work: 5,286 words Genre: AU, Friendship, Found Family, Modern AU, Superhero/Superpower AU Type: Fic Summary: Listen, it wasn’t Tommy’s intention to get hit by a car! Luckily, the kind gentleman in the waiting room of the ER was a match for his blood type and offered a transfusion while the (mildly incompetent) hospital staff were panicking. But now Tommy’s sprouted wings. He didn’t think blood transfusions did that! Meanwhile, Philza, the city’s most beloved superhero, has a rather sudden realization that he can transfer his powers by transferring DNA.

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Title: Consequences of the Dead Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30643691/chapters/75602693 Fandom: Dream SMP Author: Lisbis Relationships: Wilbur Soot & Technoblade & TommyInnit & Philza, Wilbur Soot & Quackity Characters: Wilbur Soot, TommyInnit, Technoblade, Philza, Quackity Length of the work: 66432 words Genre: Action/Adventure, Angst, AU, Canon-Divergent, Fix-It, Found Family, Humour, Hurt/Comfort, Superhero/Superpower AU, Dimension Travel AU Type: Fic Summary: Wilbur rolls his eyes. “I’m just patching you up out of some misplaced sense of guilt or nostalgia or whatever; after this, you can try and arrest me again as much as you want-” “Nostalgia?” Tommy interrupts. He squints at the figure, all confusing tangents and cynical jokes, the bird still perched on his head. “What, do I know you or something?” Wilbur’s face darkens. He reaches out a hand, rubbing absently at a long slash going through his trench coat, a tear in the seams of it all. Tommy stills. “No,” the villain finally mutters with a brittle laugh. “No, you don’t.” … Or: Superhero AU in which Wilbur, upon waking up in an alternate universe, accidentally becomes a villain. Maybe not a very good one, though - he remains insanely, outrageously protective over the very heroes (and vigilante) hunting him down.

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Title: Internet Stalking Is Actually Really Hard, You Guys Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/51240862 Fandom: Dream SMP Author: MossWizard Relationships: Tubbo/Ranboo, Tubbo&Ranboo Characters: Tubbo, Ranboo Length of the work: 1,607 words Genre: AU, Superhero/Superpower AU Type: Fic Summary: Tubbo investigates who Ranboo is and what they’re capable of after an unfortunate vision. A superhero au where Tubbo is blessed with the ability to see the worst outcomes of any situation and figure out how to avoid them and Ranboo is….suspicious. Based on the Worm (web serial) power system

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Title: DSMP Comics vol. 1 Link: https://dsmpherozine.gumroad.com/l/bgcly Fandom: Dream SMP Author: DSMP Comics Zine Relationships: all of them Characters: all of them Length of the work: not applicable (mixed media zine) Genre: Action/Adventure, AU, Modern AU, Superhero/Superpower AU Type: Art, Comic, and Short Story Collection (zine) Summary: In a city brimming with heroes, vigilantes, and villains, a mysterious organization known only as E.G.G. has stepped out of the shadows. Their goal? Total chaos. In their quest to overrun the city, they've developed a device that shuffles people's powers— and nobody is safe…

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Title: Tubbo Underscore, Vigilantism, and The Pursuit of Giving A Single Shit Link: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2252087 Fandom: Dream SMP Author: Anonymous Relationships: Tubbo & Tommy, Tubbo & Ranboo, Tubbo & Wilbur, Wilbur & Techno & Phil [There's quite a few in the series but these are the recurring ones] Characters: Tubbo, Tommy, Ranboo, Michael (the Piglin), Wilbur, Techno, Phil Length of the work: 110,511 words Genre: Action/Adventure, AU, Crack Fic, Friendship, Found Family, Superhero/Superpower AU Type: Fic series Summary: Crack fics about Tubbo and his vigilantism adventures! Catalog: 1. Tubbo defeats supermarket foes, annoys a powerful hero, and "gains" a child to father in the same night 2. Tubbo, while struggling with a cold, tries to find his friends with a notorious drug dealer by his side, a college party for help, and a powerful hero tracking him down. 3. Tubbo and his friends get trapped in SBI's home until a storm ends. They create "chaos" to pass the time. 4. Tubbo proposes to fool the cops one day more. Tommy tries to stop a musical apocalypse before it begins. Ranboo is stuck in the middle with a decision to make. Worlds collide.

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Title: Orange Ball of Love Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/39256482 Fandom: Hermitcraft SMP Author: 2point5 Relationships: John Booko/EthosLab Characters: Bdubs, EthosLab Length of the work: 5,478 words Genre: AU, Domestic/Slice-of-life, Fluff, Superhero/Superpower AU Type: Fic Summary: Etho Slab liked it when things made sense. He was good at that, at making things make sense, at lining things up and figuring them out, looking at the facts and then going from there. He was a man of logic, a man of patterns, a man of lists and checkmarks. He knew what he was doing. He always knew what he was doing. When you're paid to kill people, you can't afford to be unprepared. Bryan “Bdubs” Centus did not make sense.

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Title: lead yourself home Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/48385600/chapters/122039320 Fandom: Dream SMP Author: patrichor Relationships: Wilbur Soot & Technoblade Characters: Technoblade, Wilbur Soot Length of the work: 1,006 words Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Superhero/Superpower AU Type: Fic Summary: There's a stab of pain as his hands push against the wound, and with great willpower Techno resists making a frankly embarrassing noise. "You're not allowed to die on me." Penalty snaps, sharp in the way he only gets when he's truly bothered. Techno tries for a smile, then feels silly as he remembers he's still masked. "I mean, I don't really think that's up to me, but I'll take it under advisement." . or, techno is pretty sure he's ruined things with his family. it takes a close call and a rescue by his estranged brother for him to realize that there's still hope things can change for the better

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Title: Amoransia Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/52729348 Fandom: Crossover Fandom Author: Phospheos Relationships: Gem/Pearl, Gem&Pearl, Grian/Scar, Joel/Lizzie, Mumbo/Grian, Mumbo/Grian/Scar Characters: Pearl, Gem, Tilly the Dog, Grian, Mumbo, Impulse, Scar, fWhip, Lizzie, Joel, Evil Xisuma, Cleo Length of the work: 9,990 (currently) Genre: Action/Adventure, AU, Hurt/Comfort, Modern AU, Slow Burn, Superhero/Superpower AU Type: Fic Summary: amoransia; n. the melodramatic thrill of unrequited love; the longing to pine for someone you can never have, wallowing in devotion to some impossible person who could give your life meaning by their very absence. Glimpse into the lives of two that hold an eternal bond through both company and absence, two that hold a safety to the other that it never needs to be said in the first place. There lies a love that time and time again will shine through as long as the universe allows them to hold it, as they get torn apart and reunited time and time again. It is messy and out-of-order, but that's them, and that means they're together. And wouldn't have it any other way.

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[ethanchoslin]

The Second Keeper (TSK)

Keeper (He/His) 19

First post of his, an OC or AU of interesting backstory idk want to said to lol :1

(an unofficial oc AU, for now)

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Keeper (tentatively known as The Greenman, The First Timeline, and The Savior) is a successor stickman creation created by Ethan Choslin ( me :D / Creator ) in 2007 after 2 years created Intruder in 2005. His purpose was to improve himself that he had older enough to treat his living and power granted by the creator

The savior and hero of AvA AU, being called “Supremacy Savior” by Citizens in StickCity and StickHomeland since mid 2010s. Even though been called a hero, some stickman’s still criticize and furious about the difference of his appearance

He has a friend name Dinco (Dark blue stickman) but been missing after AvA V in midnight hours

Keeper still living like any regular stickman, had a house and decent job in daily life time. Sometime he spend time experiment with energy core of dark remnant objects for…you know…science :/

Antagonists of his was Intruder, but in AvA VI AU, the real antagonists of his was Vic (Canon Victim) and Costco (dark orange stickman). Intruder in other hand had spare peace after realizing that it was his middle creation by creator ( or brother if you want to :] )

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Appearance:

Green and little dark hollow-headed stick figure of above-average height

Mistake ringers on the left

Can’t speak ( still open mouth, no deaf and no voice lol :} )

AvA:

. A black belt with grappling hook in the right and black bag in the left

. Wristbands in the right (TDL wristband found on the far right next to destroying mountain)

AvM:

. Same black belt, bag and grappling hook but with splash potion of Swiftness X, Totem of undying, and a medium diamond knife

. Regular bow with arrow of Flame I

. Diamond sword and Shield

. Leather boots with Frost Walker I, Leather Falling IV and Soul Speed II

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Personality:

. When been proud by the Citizens he protecting, his happiness with a smile or a nod to prove he’s happy and excellent

. Extroverts at job, Creatives on various ideas, motivated in times, straightforward in objective

. Exciting at random behavior, Loving excitement when been gifted

. Anger issues when criminals treat towards innocent stickman on bullying and violently…not to violent I guess

. When Killing wrong or miss threarting, he would stressed, scared of fear, and cry (if their a chance when been scared to much :, )

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Ability:

. Keeper can float through midair without any problem, he can fly very fast about 34 km/h but at a slower pace it’s at around 16-22 km/h. Even slower is at 6km/h

. He can stealth behind enemy easier

. incredible strength like lift a car, truck, bus. Pull out light pole, trees and hold a object that very heavy :”/

. High intelligence on serious combat and went to normal went combat deactivate

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Other curious information:

. “Supremacy Savior” Citizens quote

. Dinco (Dark blue stickman)

. TSK House

. Costco (dark orange stickman)

. TSK Wristbands (Found location)

. Intruder

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Bonus art:

[mochiwrites]

I was thinking about the totems of undying in songbird's blood, and it got me thinking, is there any specific reason why we got told so much information about them?

If Scott owns totems of undying and they are banned from the council, what else does he own that he shouldn't?

Out of everything Scott has out on display (I'm going to assume there are other things on display because it would be a little strange just to have totems of undying being displayed).

Why did we get so much detail about how to obtain them and what they did if there were other things out in the open aswell?

Will they possibly save Grians life in the future?

Scott wants Grian dead, so let's just say hypothetically, Grian gets caught by Scott, and he is taken to Scotts house to be killed or whatever, but because Grian is Grian he is able to get out of wherever he was trapped at in Scotts house (We have seen Grian escape many dangerous situations shouldn't be to difficult to escape) But Grian is injured so it's difficult to escape so its far more easier for Scott to catch up to him and because Grian was being to much Scott just decides to try to end his life there but Grian somehow broke open of the display cases and was able to grab a totem of undying so he wouldent die and was able to escape and get help. (Also, Grian just has main character plot armor so he would find a way to beat around death anyways)

We know Grian knows what they will do and the price it costs to create one because Scott told him about it.

Another thing we could add to this is what if Grian was able to take one of those totem of undying back to Mumbo and Scar, would they be able to use it against Scott if they showed the council? If Scar spilled to Mumbo and Grian that Scott was pretty much manipulating Scar into doing horrible things to humans and "monsters," would they be able to use that against Scott aswell? We know the council doesn't want humans to know about them, so Scott, doing what he is currently doing, could possibly expose them. Scott can't lie about doing those things either because Scar has many years of proof to show how long it's been going on.

Anyways, sorry about the ramble. (Hopefully, it makes sense.) This all could be false, and my brain made it all up, but I just thought about this theory, so I wanted to share!

me, sitting here and reading all of this while clapping excitedly and grinning — please don’t apologize for the ramble at all!!! I love songbird rambles 🥺

scott has. a Lot of things he probably shouldn’t because he’s scott and he’s an evil, over dramatic bi— I meannnn he’s silly goofy like that <3

there definitely are a few other things he has on display! the totems are what drew grian’s attention Specifically because of how they’re shaped and they kinda just Stand Out

though I will say that I gave so much information about totems Mostly because I was really excited to share it DKFKDKFKFK but there is another reason 👀

I’m not quite sure how I’m working it in a fic yet, so I’ll drop it here! scar actually has two totems himself :3 not by choice! it was unexpected payment for a job he took (he thought he’d be getting paid in money) and he kinda has two totems chilling in his home. whoops

but 👀👀👀 it’s definitely an interesting theory you’ve presented! >:3c we’ll just have to wait and see how it all plays out 👀

[moonlight--mansion]

am i like...the only person that hates the mob vote rn?

whole rant under the read more

i hate armadillos, i hate crabs, and i hate the penguins.

they are all neat ideas sure, but there are a MILLION MOBS in the game that hardly do anything.

armadillos are neat, until you remember that no one takes their wolves out of the base because they HARDLY DO ANYTHING.

"oh but they can fight other mobs"

if they live that long and dont just fall into a ravine trying to catch up with you. its just as useless as horse armor (do players even ride horses? why would anyone when you have elytra, or nether portals to easily teleport between bases)

crabs are lame, while the extra reach might seem helpful, we dont know how itll work. it could take up your offhand slot (which means no easy torch placement, food, shield, or totem of undying. which are all rlly important survival items when making a build in survival) and also scaffolding exists and youre able to place it horizontally and vertically if you need just a little more reach. (or just go creative to avoid ALL OF IT!)

penguins are just dolphins for a colder biome. they dont even help you find treasure, so its even worse than dolphins are.

all of these mobs are gonna rely on a worldgen and the biomes available to you. (its also why i hate the villager readjustments. who cares if a player gets diamond armor quickly because of villager trading. optimizing your tools because of your knowledge on the game mechanics SHOULDNT BE PUNISHED)

but noo if you want mending you need to be lucky enough to have a specific biome (+village and job blocks) spawn close to you.

all of these mobs are gonna live in specific biomes, but with how fickle worldgen is, you might just be screwed because the badlands/desert only spawned 200,000 blocks away.

i hate the mob vote in general, there are still so many aspects of the game that need to be updated BEFORE mojang decides to add a cute mob (thats ultimately useless)

like dungeons STILL havent been updated, theres still NOTHING to do after you beat the Wither. There are biomes that have nothing to offer (cherry grove, savannahs, badlands, deserts)

Do we really need another cute mob to add to the pile of useless bloat?

[quotemenevervore]

Beep bop lemme talk about the las Nevadas crew real quick before I start on their one shot

In this au the las Nevadas crew is as follows:

Sam: a creepertaur that helps run building projects and sometimes stands guard if Quackity is trying to get something done. He’s caught on to him and Sapnap’s activities due to catching Sapnap messing around with shrinking potions during manhunts. He has a storage stomach, no real instincts related to it, but he does occasionally store people. He does not like being stored, and adamantly refuses to be shrunken.

Foolish: a demigod of undying, his anatomy is off due to him being a totem. He doesn’t necessarily have to eat, so he can safely store people in his real stomach. He doesn’t really partake in either side, mostly just focusing on his job at Las Nevadas or helping with building projects, coming up with new ideas and helping Quackity where he can.

Fundy: our fox hybrid unfortunately doesn’t have a safe way to store people, and he mostly stays out of the storing thing. His sense of smell and hearing are heightened, though, and sometimes it leads to trouble if someone is small and running around as it can trigger his instincts to pounce. He sticks to himself and his part of Las Nevadas, coming to Quackity when he needs help or visa verse. He has allowed himself to be stored before by other people, sometimes he likes the dark small space it provides.

Slime: mans is literally made out of slime and can absorb people, need I say more? He can safely store people by creating an air pocket (like the small Q fic) and a lot of the time he does it on accident. Once he ran into a shrunken Q and accidentally absorbed him because he didn’t solidify himself before trying to grab him. He’s also Quackity’s right hand man, and mainly the one that Quackity trusts the most outside of his fiancés to store when his instincts get bad.

Purpled: he’s an alien and it’s never been stated if that effects his biology or not. Since it’s me, of course we’re gonna give him a storage stomach. Similar instincts to Netherborns, just instead needing to protect their offspring from the dangerous conditions of space. He doesn’t partake in storing anyone or trying to be stored, especially not by the Las Nevadas crew. (His ufo wasn’t blown up in the au, but he still just doesn’t want to get that vulnerable with people he hardly knows) he sticks to himself more than Fundy does, and kinda makes himself scarce.

Gonna add one more character just because tntduo enjoyers come get your juice:

Wilbur: he’s not an official part of Las Nevadas, as he and Quackity began a friendly rivalry. Does Q let him have access to the country? Yes. Does he consider him a part of it? No. When Wilbur was revived, he was ecstatic to see the duck hybrid no longer hiding his wings, but became slightly disappointed when the other wouldn’t speak with him about instincts or avian related things.

Wilbur becomes deadset on changing the bad habits he sees Quackity doing, like ignoring basic needs and overworking himself. He and Quackity eventually have a talk over instincts as both are avians, and with hesitancy on Wilbur’s part, they both begin helping each other with instincts. Wilbur still shows up to be a nuisance, though.

[mary-games-and-arts]

Joke or not I'm already this Far in the holl killing you so.....

*throws my exa at you cutting your head open*

Finally i finish the job (•w•)

*le totem of undying is used*

... STOP! *tps away*

[the-golden-oath]

Tanker

AO3 Link Here

Summary: Tango, while relocating the wardens prior to opening Decked Out 2, keeps getting distracted by Grian. He might have to postpone the grand opening.

Words: 3,255

Chapters: 1/1

Rating: Explicit

Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply

Category: M/M

Fandom: Hermitcraft SMP

Relationship: Grian/TangoTek

Characters: Grian, TangoTek

Additional Tags: Hermitcraft Season 9, Decked Out 2 (Hermitcraft), Wardens (Minecraft), Totems of Undying (Minecraft), minecraft game mechanics, Awkward Turn-ons, Tango is Confused, why his pp hard, getting distracted by horniness, Buff Grian (Hermitcraft), Tango has an unnecessarily slutty dungeon master outfit because I said so, Hiding, Quiet Sex, humping, Blow Jobs

[antimony-medusa]

Comment on Totem of Undying Job

I’m out here ruining people’s evenings and mornings it looks like. :D

[advenitmc]

thinking about the time revivebur came back, in the prison tommy was holding a totem of undying

[glowstick-cafe]

A Dance with Death|| Technoblade x Grim Reaper!reader

Requested: Yes(My friend insisted that I write this, I'm only doing this because it sounded like a great senario.)

Pronouns: They/them but for the sake of the scene reader wears a dress because I like being dramatic.

Summary: A Grim Reaper finds themselves falling for the very thing that could cost them their life.

Cw: Gore mention?

Trope: Strangers to lovers

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Tundra was usually very quiet when Phil was here, now that he's gone it just feels lonely being there, all that was left was an uncomfortable silence of him not talk and the loud voices in his head constantly overlapping on whether to trust Phil or to go rescue him from the butcher army, he was sure that they wouldn't hurt him since it would be dumb to hurt someone who was under house arrest.

Technoblade wouldn't have to worry anymore, the butcher army had located where he lived. Atfer a not so civil talk they took him from his home.

When the boat touched the docks he noticed a few new things about L'manburg from his last visit, not like he was keeping track anyway. Techno dragged his feet as the butcher army tuggedat his chains, telling him to walk faster. "Tech?" His name smoothly rolled off the tongue of the person that called out to him, his a small turn of his head he noticed that it was Phil that was calling out to him, the winged man held a worried expression on his face. "I'll be fine Phil, don't worry about me." Techno tried to reassure, he slipped a small part of his totem of undying in the gaze of the crow hybrid to make him feel better which succeeded.

Techno lazily rested his head against the cage Quackity had put him in, he wasn't paying attention to what they were saying, his main concern was the the anvil that was about to drop on his head. He was pulled from his thoughts when he heard the sound of potion bottle breaking and Tubbo's panicked voice telling for Quackity to pull the lever that was holding up the anvil. "Heh?! Wait hold o-" Techno's yells were cut short by the anvil colliding with his skull and shattering it, killing him.

That's when he met them

-

Techno spawned in a black void, he looks around confused until he a person wear a black cloak and was lazily twirling a scythe in their right hand, he was going to say something but the person had made eye contact with the totem resting in his hand and gave a confused expression. "You're not supposed to have that-" Before they could reach out to him the totem created golden splotches of light on his skin making him making him disappear back in reality where is corpse was suddenly being brought back to life.

Technoblade would have to keep that reaper in mind, but now he would have battle his way back home.

-

Being the Grim Reaper was no easy job, there was the run of the mill of having to explain to the person that they're dead, or it's hard to move them to the afterlife because they don't want to. But besides that is was lonely in that black void you called home, you were the bringer of death which meant that you woked for The Goddess of Death, Kristen. She was one of the nicer deity's but you didn't want to be one of the poor souls that faced her wrath, so you were especially screwed when a piglin hybrid with pink hair holding a totem disappeared before your eyes. "I'm so screwed." You mumbled to yourself in a dazed panic, you were contemplating going down to the mortal realm to bring him back, after weighing the pros and cons on your situation, your paranoia got the better of you and you sent yourself down to the mortal real.

Ironic how the Grim Reaper themself fears death.

-

You've stayed on the mortal realm for months, for a large piglin he was sure a hard person to find, and as much as you wanted to drag him by the ears and strand him in the void to mindlessly teeter into the state of life and death you were sure he would refuse to go anyway, which is why you intend lure him in with a convenient royal ball Eret was hosting.

It's been a while since you attended extravagant parties like these, they were fun and you got to flaunt your outfit, which brings you to now. You stood in the stairway to the ballroom where everyone were dancing or chatting amongst themselves, when your shoes touched the stairs all eyes were on you, there were rampant whispers of curiosity between everyone as you made your ways down the stairs. You wore a blood red dress that would even make a strawberry jealous, you walked with a smirk on your face as you made breif eye contact with Technoblade, who was sipping on what you would assumed was wine from a glass, and seemingly in the blink of an eye everyone's attention turned back to what they were doing.

Almost everyone, Techno's eyes didn't leave your frame, he didn't want it to. He recognized you from somewhere but he couldn't put his finger on it, before he could ponder in his mind any longer the sound of the music shifted, everyone began to dance with each other. Techno's crimson eyes drew itself back to you, your attention were fixed on the couples happily dancing with each other, with an unknown feeling bubbling in his chest he walked over to you to ask if you wanted to dance with him. "May I have the honor of asking you for a dance?" He said, your eyes looked dark and calculated, like if he kept looking long enough he might not like what he finds.

"Are you sure you aren't asking me out of pity?" You raised an eyebrow, you were mostly teasing him. "I assure you that I've never pitied someone, and I don't intend to start doing it with the most gorgeous one in the room." He shot back, a smirk graced his lips as he held your soft hands and guided you to the floor.

In that moment you didn't know what to feel, his ruby like eyes pierced yours as he held your hip and danced you around the ballroom, you found yourself losing the thought of your plan to get him to the afterlife, with every twirl, every moment he made a funny quip, you couldn't help but fall for his charm more and more. This man could ruin your life if you let him leave this room, and yet just having this moment with him would make it all worth while.

"Gods, I can't do this." You mumbled to yourself, Techno gave you a quizzical look, and seemingly out nowhere your red dress had melted into your black cloak you usually wore. Everyone in the room was staring at you, Techno's eyes widened as he now realized who you were, "You're....-" "The Grim Reaper, I know. I was going bring you to the afterlife with me after you used that totem which would've cost me my job, but you made it so hard to make me do that." You rambled, you didn't want to go, you were scared the Kristen was going to be there when you do but as you were caught up in you head Techno placed his lips on yours, the gesture surprised you but you returned the kiss anyways, the room felt as you your were the only two in it and that's how it should be. When you pulled your lips away from his you noticed that you were fading from the realm, your time was up and you had to go back, Techno's hands tightened around yours as you gave a content smile, all you could do was muster a curt "Thank you," till you actually disappeared and left the hybrid standing by himself.

Though you weren't there for a long time, you would've loved to experience that one more time.

[sirbilliamiii]

pov: you work in las nevadas and it's a friday. the town is not a full of life and light as it used to be (something to do with the prison break from months ago, apparently), but you still go to your underpaid job everyday. there aren't many like you, a simple employee, anymore; who would want to stay in a ghost town anyway. but you like it, it's less work.

then one day you hear something in the distance. and then you can see it. crows; so many of them. and they all follow the same person: the infamous philza minecraft. your first reaction? freeze. that man is responsible for way too many war crimes, what if las nevadas was the next target on his to-do list?

second reaction? analyse. if your ears are not deceiving you, you can hear him laughing. giggling, even. you worked so many hours in this bar, you know that's the sound of a drunk person. "oh, great", you think, "he's going to commit crimes and the excuse will be that he was a little tipsy and since there's no fucking law in this server he will walk away and mr. gamers will bomb his house and cause another war". so you wait for your eventual demise cleaning tables and dusting shelves.

but then the angel of death walks into your bar and asks for a drink. his voice sounds different from what you remember and his posture is not of a man that is hated by many and feared by all; he sounds happy to be there, drinking in a 3 stars bar, and he talks to the crows like it's his children, smiling every once in a while.

philza minecraft (is he though?) pays for his drinks and for a bottle for later, thanks for the service and tips you with a totem of undying ("use it if you don't want to visit me so early") and a whole diamond block. he leaves with his giggles and the spare bottle of alcohol, mumbling something about going to the casino.

it's a friday in las nevadas, and you want to lay down to process what just happened.

[medusasstory]

what hermit you should fight IRL

Mumbo Jumbo: I mean yes, he’s a giant, and yes, according to the lore irl he’s trained in martial arts. But have you seen him? I bet you could distract him with a word puzzle and take him down in a single sucker punch.

Docm77: The GOATFATHER will not pause until you are destroyed. It might take a while, but he will go without sleep or rest to enact his judgment. DO NOT FIGHT DOC.

Bdubs: Uhhhhh. So have you ever looked at a man and went “that guy fights dirty”? Bdubs is 5′7″ of pure spite and he will wear your head as a trophy.

Joe Hills: Oh yeah you’d beat Joe in a fight. But you wouldn’t WIN the fight. He’d write a poem about it and his chat would jeer at you and somehow you would still feel bad. Consider not fighting Joe.

ZombieCleo: She’s an elementary school teacher. Not only should you not fight Cleo, I bet she knows enough about how to defuse a fight that you physically can’t fight Cleo. (But if she decides to throw down you lose.)

Ethoslab: DO NOT FIGHT ETHO. The man is a cryptid. For all we know he’s a werewolf. Plus I’ve seen him play Among Us, you would not come out of that fight looking or feeling good. Do not fight Etho.

GoodTimesWithScar: WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO FIGHT SCAR. You would win, and then I personally would manifest in your house to beat you up for hurting the star wars minecraft wheelchair-using man. And then Jellie would bite you.

TangoTek: Yeah I bet you could take him mostly because he would feel bad about fighting you. You know who wouldn’t feel bad about shanking you though? Mrs. Tango. Do not fight Mr. TangoTek.

Impulse: If anyone can find a way to make totems of undying manifest in the real world I believe it’s gonna be Impulse. You will not win this fight.

Zedaph: Picture this. You’ve won the fight with Zedaph because he had his headphones on and didn’t see you coming. You’re taking a breath of victory. And then the bizarre contraption he build in the night to wake him up on time malfunctions, exploding and killing you instantly. Do not fight Zedaph.

iJevin: Another hermit where it’s vital that you approach while he’s distracted. While he’s deep in the code, you get in one punch and flee. Why do you flee? He came second in the head games, remember. He can grind out a fight, if you make it worth his while (maybe don’t make it worth his while).

WelsKnight: approach a fight with wels with caution. He was in the military and probably like actually knows how to fight properly. Which might mean he would feel bad about fighting a random person? Either way I wouldn’t risk it. And his stans will murder you.

RenDog: You will win the fight with Ren. And then he’ll tell you you did a great job and you’ll feel guilty, like you should, you monster.

TFC: WHY ARE YOU FIGHTING GRANDFATHER MINECRAFT? JUST LET HIM MINE AND READ HIS FANFICTION. 

VintageBeef: Look. If you see a six-foot man who keeps donkeys and that beard and you want to fight him, I’ve gotta respect your dedication to the battledome. I don’t think you’re gonna win, though.

Keralis: This is what I know about Keralis— he is constantly sending other people gifts from sweden, and Etho went through an inventory of anvils trying to kill him while Keralis panic-sang and swam away from death (successfully). This is a high-risk, low-reward fight.

Xisuma: So on the one hand he’s a cryptid, but on the other what we do know of his IRL form is that he’s startlingly buff, and a musician. You ever seen a band member fight? They know no honour or reason. Don’t fight Xisuma. 

Hypno: Have you seen this guy hyperfocus during a grind? You could bring an entire mariachi band to the beatdown and I don’t think he’d notice. Go for it, you can totally fight Hypno.

XBCrafted: So yeah, you could totally punch XB, but I’m not actually sure you could fight the man, as his vibes are so extremely chill I’m not sure he’d fight back. So you’d just be beating up XB. Questionable.

Grian: He’s killed Dream. Twice. Grian has an immaculate sense of ambush and a great deal of personal luck. Want to start a fight that turns into a protracted session of “why are you hitting yourself”? Then totally fight Grian. Otherwise I wouldn’t recommend it. 

False: DON’T FIGHT FALSE. You ever see her evicerate a troll? She is the Queen of Heads, Hearts, and Body Parts. DO NOT FIGHT FALSE. 

CubFan: Cub’s idea of a great day outside is on the golf course, so he can probably out-walk you but I’ve yet to meet a golfer who can fight. So totally fight him. Hey, you don’t have any businesses you don’t want taken over or bought out, right? Cause if sooo.

Iskall: I am honestly torn because on the one hand I do believe that Iskall doesn’t look like an IRL fighter. On the other hand his personal chaos field is just so high that venturing into it with hostile intent seems like a bad idea.

Stressmonster: Hey so funny story, her day job is as a personal trainer. She will destroy you, and laugh the whole time. Don’t fight Stress.