#The first big purchase now that I have my own money and it's gonna be miku expo

[artheresy]

I fear I'm preparing for the worst since the moment I got in at right after 9:00 am it was already sold out and I'm so so tired

Does anyone know the actual best place to buy resold tickets for Miku Expo, I know they're literally gonna be more than twice the price in some places but my spirit is so crushed that any suggestions of where to get them will be a godsend because I doubt I'll get anything good by the time it's the general public sale if each and ever single pre-sale including the local one is anything to go by?

[threebooksoneplot]

on the latest episode the question was raised why they didn't just have a plane, which valid, they are deep-multi-billionaires. I pose that they probably looked into it, but as you have to pass a medical review, aka our sparkling vamps wouldn't pass that ever. no amount of money is gonna convince them that they are alive. But honestly if alice really wanted to get to italy from fork's the quickest, have her drop like a million and lease a jet from Seatle to Naples.

idk enough about planes so I (shannon) posed this question to the household's beloved plane expert (lilia) and this is what she had to say:

"okay, but you do not have to pass it as a passenger to BUY a plane—if you're a pilot, yeah. but you can buy a plane, and just be a passenger. or at least, that's as far as I understand it. first of all, you can buy a plane a plane and not be a pilot. second of all, why do we assume that they [the cullens] have gotten this plane within legal means? they clearly WOULD steal a plane. james stole a plane SO fast in the first book. and there are planes everywhere in airports that people steal all the time! you go low enough or high enough you can't even be SEEN on the radar! they could've stolen a little plane easily. they would've stolen a BIG plane easily.

then, after I thanked them for their input they unprompted, continued with this insane information:

"in addition to that: in the ukraine right now, anybody can just get any russian plane that's been downed and do whatever they want from it. for example:"

AND THEN SHE SHOWED ME TWO KEYCHAINS SHE JUST BOUGHT ON ETSy???????

and then she finished with this explanation (to justify her purchase) and then one big final statement:

"like, I know somebody died in this. but I needed to buy it. because whenever in my lifetime and I gonna have this chance again??? and please tell them this: PLANES ARE JUST THINGS SOMEONE HAS BUILT. YOU CAN JUST BUILD YOUR OWN. YOU CAN JUST DO WHATEVER YOU WANT. I FEEL LIKE THE BOURGEOISIE HAS CONVINCED PEOPLE PLANES ARE UNTOUCHABLE. DON'T BUY INTO THE CONSPIRACY. GO KICK A PLANE! DO WHATEVER YOU WANT!"

and that has been Plane Time With Lilia

thank you lilia! it's ok that you killed that man!! —G

[snapscube]

Oh my god I've wanted a Peloton for like a year now! I'm so close to just doing it because it'll be good for me if I can get into the routine but I can't help the ugly feeling that I'll just waste money and give up the routine and I'll just be moving in a year or two anyways and now way I can move an exercise bike. Has it been worth the money for you?

so the thing about Peloton is that what you're paying for is not necessarily just the bike itself but also the like... ECOSYSTEM that they build around you having this bike. but it's also something that you should make sure you do ur research on and make sure it can work for you because it can become a big money sink pretty easily especially if ur like me and you require a lot of accessories like a bigger seat. and not to mention the whole app that the classes system and the whole social aspect that the bike thrives on is a SUBSCRIPTION app, so the bike does come with a continuous price tag as well if you're gonna be making use of the content on the screen it comes with. which is part of why i have been so hesitant to talk about my specific bike right away LOL, it's pretty sneaky and it is definitely something i wish i was more aware of before buying initially, cause i'm not sure if it would have put me off of it entirely personally but it would still have been good to know ahead of time just in case i wasn't down for it.

i would say for the first few months it was absolutely not worth the money but that was just because i wasn't USING it. ever since i made it more of a routine theres a lot about it that i love and i'm steadily on track to getting my money's worth and i don't regret having it in the apartment. but for your situation, my recommendation would be to make sure you have a wide range of options to pick from before jumping to one brand in particular. i don't really know what else is out there in terms of stationary bikes, as my purchase was based almost entirely on streamer word of mouth cause i can be a little Stupid sometimes, but if anyone in the replies has knowledge of good alternatives feel free to post those and i'd hope you can come back and check em out!

all-in-all, it has its pros and cons and time will tell if i can evaluate this thing as fully worth what i paid, but you know your situation more than i do, so if you're not sure you wanna be lugging around heavy exercise equipment during your next move then there's always local gyms and such. which i know is a Big Ask because i've had gym memberships that i just never made use of before LOL so like you definitely don't have the benefit of sweating in ur own home, but you also don't have to pay the price tag that comes with that convenience.

[or0ch1maru]

Hey CJ! Sorry to hear that you're not having the best day :( I hope it gets better! Or the very least, please do take care of yourself and maybe treat yourself to something nice for all your hardwork!💖

I've got a fun lil F,M,K scenario for you😊Who would you F,M,K? Grimmjow, Kenpachi and Obito?

AND Obito, Hidan, Toji? ^-^

And I've got some random lil questions to ask!

- Do you bake? If so, what are your favorite things to make? If not, what are your favorite baked goods?

- if you could choose to be in any anime verse, which one would you choose and why?

- What's a favorite dish you like from your culture?

- if you had all the money in the world, what would be the first big purchase you would make?

- what is your favorite holiday? Mine is Halloween!

- a random fact about literally anything?

I heard that you're taking requests for some angst! Can I request some headcanons or drabble about kakuzu or Hidan comforting you when you're crying? Or how would the akatsuki be after they broke up with their partner? Or how would they try and get back with their s/o after a breakup? This request was inspired by the JJK post you reblogged ngl😅😅

I'm sorry that this ask became long😅😅 but I hope your day gets better!! Hang in there!!💗💗💗

hiiii bbys! Thanks to everyone who sent in kind words. I’m doing better! <3 so let’s get into it🫵🏻

•

I PHYSICALLY cannot answer those f,m,k. It pains me too much🤣 I love them all equally and there’s no way hahah

•

I hate cooking, I have horrendous anxiety being in the kitchen if I’m making something more complicated than ramen or pasta. But in regards too my favorite baked goods, definitely cream puffs! Or fruit tarts. My go to’s Everytime! Gonna buy myself a fruit tart for my birthday next month🥺

Bleach and Naruto. The aesthetic itself are just pleasing and they have so many complex characters, and the views are gorgeous lol. I could go on but it’d be too much

So, I’m part Jamaican on my mums side and part Panamanian on my fathers. I only recently reconnected with him so I have yet to try anything. Now, in regards to my favorite meal, nothing beats my mums homemade curry.

I have no idea lmfao. I’m not one to want a huge fancy house or all these fancy cars. I’d rather just pay off my bills and quit my job. Play it day by day tbh

HALLOWEEN! Every year I go to universal Orlando for HHN. I’m always back before Halloween and I dress up and do my makeup to do haunts in our yard lol. That and scary movies every day of the month and just ugh🫶🏻best holiday

For my random fact, I’ll tell you something about myself. I’m 4’10. And I love platform shoes. I own some boots and platform sandals. I hope to expand my collection!

•

I personally think every member of the akatsuki would distance themselves for starters but they’d creep back into your life slowly, but differently so let’s get intoooooo it!🫵🏻

18+, mentions of stalking,makeup sex, coercion ideations, possessive behavior and akatsuki member being mean to reader but apologizing, pervy tobi

Slight au, mentions of cellphones, phone calls, texts, etc

Hidan:

-totally gonna be the one to put as much distance between you and him. Especially when he knows he was the one to fuck things up

-but he somehow always knows where you are, who you’re with, and what you’re doing

-if he hears you’re hanging out with another guy, no matter how much time has passed since the split, just know you’ll receive some drunk texts from him. Maybe him even showing up to your place

-he’d be mean at first, talking about how nobody could treat you better than him, or fuck you better than him

-would somehow end up on top of you, showing you how much he missed you by stuffing your cunt

-if you ever want to see him cry, just know this is how. He’d be whispering such filth into your ear, burying his face in your neck to hide his tears and hopefully stifle the way his voice cracks when he admits he’s sorry and how he can’t go on without you

Kakuzu:

-he’d be the silent ex. Would only pay attention if someone brings you up in conversation, mentioning what you’re doing or how you’ve been

-Kakuzu would check in on you every once in a while. He’s a grumpy old man who’s soft spot was for you and you only

-if he realized or you told him you’re not doing okay. He be over to your place within the hour to comfort you.

-if it ends with you two back together, he’d be the happiest man alive. Yet he wouldn’t voice it. Ever

-would send you money to spoil yourself, he’d always tell you it’s not to win you back but deep down he hopes it would change your mind. Isn’t the type to beg for you to come back. He wants you to come back to him only if YOU want too

Konan:

-such a sweetheart, she’d give you anything you want. If you tell her you two can stay friends, she’d be the best friend a person could ever ask for

-if you tell her you want space, she’s more than happy to give you as much space as you need

-if you tell her to fuck off and never speak to her again, as painful as that would be for her. She’d do it. She just wants you to be happy, even if that means without her

-is always super kind and respectful if you two run into each other in the village but wouldn’t go seeking you out without reason

-just like Hidan, always knows what you’ve been up too. Not because she’s following your every move, but sticks close by in case something happens to you (she hears updates from your friends because they adored her. Thought she was the best gf you’ve ever had)

Pain:

-I believe he’s similar to Kakuzu. Pain would distance himself for his own sanity. Knowing you’re off being happy without him, kills him

-only speaks to you if you reach out to him first. Wouldn’t even ask how you’re doing if you didn’t say something to him beforehand

-misses you dearly, but knows space is the best option for the two of you

-wouldn’t hesitate to make your new bf ‘disappear’ when he hears you’re seeing someone new. Hoping that you’ll eventually come running back to him if your new partners keep ghosting you suddenly

Itachi:

-is super respectful, as much as he’s hurting inside, the break up would never turn sour

-no fighting, screaming, or hurtful words. Gives you a kind smile every time he runs into you in the village. A hug or a shoulder/head pat only if you’re comfortable

-would remain your friend afterwards. Being very respectful towards your new partners if you start seeing anyone. Doesn’t go out of his way to be rude or cruel to either of you

-doesn’t hesitate to give you a shoulder to cry on if you need someone to talk too. Even if you’re venting about your new man

-makes sure you always have everything you may need or want and that you can always rely on him if something goes wrong

Kisame:

-gets over the split relatively quick. Is content to stay your friend, but if you decide to distance yourself completely. He’s fine with that as well

-it would take him a long time to delete pics and videos of the two of you just because you were the best thing to come into his life.

-when the time comes that he decides to delete everything out of his phone, he’ll keep a picture or two just for comfort

-looking at it when he has a bad day or to remind him that there’s still good in the world.

-would be nice to your new partner when introduced but would knit pick everything about him. Knowing that no one will treat you like he did

Deidara:

-you were his first real relationship and would be devastated about it. Dei would give you all the space in the world after the break up but the second you reach out to him, he wouldn’t hesitate to slowly make his way back into your life

-he would ask to hang out with you on the days you were free,

-would make up random excuses or reasons for popping by your place even if he had no reason to be in the village in the first place

-would leave you clay gifts on your windowsill once in a while, especially since you loved his art so much

-would leave sweet notes as well. Something like “miss you” or “have a good day” etc

Sasori:

-I feel like he wouldn’t truly register it at the beginning.

-would kinda just shrug shit off. Wouldn’t pay much mind to you for a while, weeks, maybe a few months afterwards

-he’s not rude, or nice, he’s neutral about things. He’d reminisce about the times you shared but it wouldn’t make him sad or depressed

- if you reached out, calling or texting him, he’d reply. Out of respect mostly. Sasori would ask how you’re doing and would be glad to know you’re doing good

Tobi:

-he’d be devastated. Come on, like look at him

-would distance himself from his comrades outside of missions, he’d put on a brave front in front of them when it came to work but if he’s alone. He’s breaking

-once he’s gotten the crying out of his system he would not hesitate to keep tabs on your every move.

-he may or may not even cause something just so you have an excuse to come running to him. Knowing he’d be the one to fix things and make things right

-would be subtle about his obsession with you. Would run into you in town on more than one occasion, using the same old excuse of “didn’t think I’d run into you here”

-keeps all the nudes and videos you sent him, using those to make himself cum. Or better yet, the home movies you two made

-he knows it’s wrong, but that’s not going to stop him. Bites down on his bottom lip to keep himself quiet as he strokes his length, listening to the way you’d sound as you took him to the hilt

-totally wouldn’t sneak into your place while you’re out to steal a pair of your panties, or a shirt of yours just to have your scent.

Zetsu:

-is more like Sasori tbh. At the start that is. Especially black Zetsu

-I think at the beginning it wouldn’t affect him much and if it did, it’s mostly white Zetsu. He’d let out a few tears, asking where and why you’ve run off. Leaving him behind

-while black Zetsu’s mean about it. Talking about how you’re a no good person to just up and leave him(he may or may not be delusional)

-he’s stalking you. Full blown

-even if he’s off on his own missions, he’d track you down and watch you for a while before going off. Acting as if nothing happened.

-would not speak to you which as weird as it sounds I feel is on par with him. Would maybe send a single text back if you messaged him but apart from that it’s as if he’s vanished completely. To you that is, you don’t know that he’s been inside your house, touching your belongings or following at a distance as you go on a date with to your new bae

-only to find a text from an unknown number of you and your bf at the cafe in town. It’s his way of showing you, you can’t fully get rid of him

•

I hope you loved this. Now I want some requests of crying Hidan x reader, perv tobi and stalker zetsu. Didn’t realize how hot those are lol

[cupoftaae]

Life In Color - KTH drabble- The one with the pink dress ⋆｡°✩

summary- going wedding dress shopping with your future husband isn't typical, but you do it anyways.

pair- kth x female!reader

rating- 18+

A/N - hi guys! I hope you love these new drabbles, Tae and y/n are my favorite couple ive written and can't wait to deepen their story line. enjoy :) -Nini

"and who is this you've brought with you?"

"my fiancé"

The woman sitting front desk blankly looked at your large grin as you stood in a large puffer jacket, Taehyung behind you with the same smile plastered on his face.

"oh!" she finally spoke, "it's just most couples choose to wait for the dress reveal until the wedding"

You nod, you knew this was gonna be questioned.

You tried your best to explain that you wanted your husband to be the first to see it, instead of the last. You and him agreed that it would be better to surprise family. Was it conventional? no, but nothing you two did ever was.

Another woman came out from the back and led us into a try on room, mirrors surrounding the small couch that taehyung plopped down on, his own face slightly pink in anticipation to see you in a real wedding dress.

everything was becoming increasingly more real as the clock began to tic down to the wedding date.

"let me take your coat, baby" he whispered, pulling it off your shoulders as you stood.

"ok, im gonna go with her and pick out a few and i'll come back in once im ready" you giggled and kissed his nose, happily following the woman out to the room. The large isles of puffy dresses was slightly overwhelming to look at.

You were supposed to pick just one?

"so we will gather as many as you please, then eliminate them as we go until we find the dress that you feel most beautiful in"

You grinned and nodded, "sounds good"

Your eyes scanned, looking deeply at each unique design. you almost felt like an imposter standing here, this was a little too fancy.....and expensive.

Growing up on the poorer side meant now that you were 23, and had your own well earned money, you still had issues with spending it. Every item was a questionable "is it really that needed?" purchase. The fear of someday running out, all because you spent it on unnecessary items haunts you, even though that is far from realistic.

"so....tell me about your fiancé" the older woman spoke, her arms crossed as she followed you around the room, collecting anything that sparked your interest even in the slightest.

"well...." you blush, "we've known each other since we were little kids, and to be honest I think we were just meant for each other" you mentally cringe at the corny line that left your mouth. It was true though.

She grinned "how adorable, you both are rather young, I dont see a lot of kids in their early 20's getting married as much as before"

"yeahh..." you began, handing her a soft white gown to add to her small pile in her arms. "I guess we have spent so much time together that instead of waiting, we just knew what we wanted"

"that is very true, he seems as lovely as you and I'm positive it will work out. Whens the wedding?"

"February"

"3 months, that exciting. Most women have their dress a year before" she laughed softly

"yeah well we didn't have much time to plan, we are not super fancy and its just gonna be a small wedding with our parents and siblings, nothing super big"

"small weddings are always sweet too, of course you wont get as much money with that little guests" she teased, making you secretly scrunch your face up.

"eh...not too concerned"

You did not care if you weren't going to get many expensive gifts or cash at your wedding, it didn't matter.

thats not really the point of the ceremony.

After a bit, you gathered only 3 dresses and began trying them on.

The first dress was a white puffy one, the skirt similar to a princess gown like you've seen in movies.

"tae?" you whispered, opening the door and walking in to see him on the couch.

His eyes widened as he took you in, a faint blush powdering his cheeks. "i.....woah"

The woman laughed as she had you stand on the platform in front of the mirrors.

"do you like it?"

He lagged for a moment, in shock before nodding, "ye-yeah, yeah I do, baby you look gorgeous" he smiled widely, unable to take his eyes off.

"this one is part of the new collection in stock, no one has bought it yet, its one of a kind and original" the woman began speaking as she flattened the skirt.

"oh wow, thats cool" you mumbled, eyes stuck on yourself in the mirror. It was kinda freaky to imagine yourself in a wedding dress since you were little, and now seeing it in real life.

Taehyung watched in awe of your beauty, but he couldnt help but notice your uncomfortable body language. He chose to stay silent as the worker began speaking once more.

"you look absolutely stunning in it, the price is about $9,000 right now, but of course that would probably be more in the higher 9k or even closer to 10k considering this is a bit big on you and would need alterations"

You felt your face drain, 10k for a white dress made of fabric you could buy at the craft store? Sure, it was an incredibly beautiful gown, but you were not about to pay that much for a one time wear.

"God, ...okay" taehyung lifted his winter cap from his head to itch his scalp in thought, putting it back down as he watched your expression.

"yeah uh...not gonna get this one" you whispered, looking at the worker

"thats okay, lets go try the other ones you picked"

Taehyung sat back down, part of him loving the way you were putting on a little fashion show for him, the other, concerned that you were bothered by something.

You stepped out in another dress, however this white one was more fitted, there was no train behind it, instead it hugged your curves.

Your fiancé smirked, watching as you stepped up to the platform.

"now, how do you feel? this one is from the summer collection, but you did say you were having an indoor wedding in February so you'll still be warm"

You thought for a moment, turning to see your body in the mirror, taehyung stood behind you, "you look so beautiful baby" he smiled

You shrugged, offering an iffy smile "I dont know"

before you knew it, your eyes were tearing up for NO reason.

The worker noticed how concerned taehyung had gotten and she spoke up, "i'll be right back"

When the door shut, he gently took your hands and made you face him, he whispered "whats wrong, hm? why are you so sad, my love?"

"I dont know" you whispered, his fingers wiping your eyes. "I just dont feel as pretty as I thought I did in these, I feel like a fake to be honest"

"why is that?" he sounded angry, not at you, but at the thought you didnt see your own beauty.

"everything is just so expensive and I dont feel like it belongs on me" you sniff, his face softens.

"hey" he whispered, "my parents agreed to help the cost of your wedding dress, stop worrying"

"I know but its not fair to you guys, and besides, I just feel weird. I wish I could just wear whatever"

He smiles gently and brushes your hair. "what is it that you want?"

"see, I dont even know. I remember when I was a little girl I always wanted to wear a puffy baby pink gown" you laugh, "everything seemed so easy then huh"

He thought for a moment, "a pink dress hm? lets see if they have that here"

"are you serious? baby, I was just joking"

"so? try one on anyways my love"

"i dont know....I was like 10 when I said that and-"

"sh" he gently cupped your face, "these dresses arent doing it for you, and we wont stop until we find what makes you feel beautiful, ok? theres no harm in trying."

When the woman came back in, he softly explained the situation, and watched as she left to go find some options that fit the idea you wanted.

After a few moments, she returned with a dress she think you'd like/

"try this one, hun, I think its the closest to what you were telling me, its also the lightest shade of pink"

You glance at tae before nodding and going to change.

It fit on easily, only slightly big in the chest, but its nothing a quick sew job from your work friend couldnt fix.

You step out, watching Taehyungs expression widen at you "oh baby.....you are so beautiful, I love you"

You giggled as he kissed you, turning your body to look in the mirror. You teared up again, but this time not because you were sad.

The baby pink dress had laced long sleeves and a large flowing skirt, the waist sewn tight. It was just the right amount of sparkles added, and for some reason you knew that this is what 10 year old you would have wanted.

"i...I love it" you whispered

Taes eyes watered a bit, seeing the genuine reaction from you.

"how much is it?" you turned to the woman, she began to speak but taehyung stopped her,

"nope, doesnt matter"

"baby-"

"no, no, you love this dress"

You frowned and nodded

"im gonna take care of it, okay?" he kissed you gently, sharing a glance into your eyes through the mirror in front of you both.

"are you sure?"

"positive"

You waited a moment, holding his hand "I really do love it" you whispered

"so....is this the dress?" the worker smiled softly, watching you nod slowly as you wiped a tear "yeah...yeah this is the dress"

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@ohsweetmimosa

[saltygilmores]

THOUGHTS WHILE WATCHING GILMORE GIRLS: SEASON 3, EPISODE 2: HAUNTED LEG-TUMBLR IS HUNGIE AND KEEPS EATING MY POSTS

The Netflix synopses (synopseses? Synposi? Where are you, Jess Mariano? You're my only hope) made this episode seem like it was going to be heavily En-Crusty'd (Christopher focused) but then the lovely @frazzledsoul told me that in this episode Rory takes Christopher to school (metaphorically) and this is also the episode where Jess takes RORY down a peg in a GLORIOUS confrontation at Doose's Market. If there's one thing I love seeing in Gilmore GIrls it's a good peg lowering. In fact, it gives me such immense satisfaction to see Rory in particular get taken down a peg that the three times Dean does it to her are the only times I actually side with Dean. Let the Notch-Taking-Down Party commence. But first....Happy 18th birthday, Jess! You're legal, mister! I am solidly and forever in the Late August/ Early September Birthday Camp (I have my reasons) and we're already there on the show! It's been almost a year since he arrived in Stars Hollow as a 17 year old! I'm gonna make it easy and say it was September 1st.

Now you can visit the strip club, and buy porn and cigarettes legally! You're a man now! (well, at least you could buy cigarettes at 18 years old 20 years ago. It's 21 now). Episode begins with Emily still being predictably salty about last week's FND, where Lorelai snuck out of the house while her parents were fighting over her breakup with Crusty.

Don't listen to her. You do can do whatever you want, even while you're on the clock. My little shmushkins. My apple dumpling. My peach tart. My banana muffin. My jelly donut. You're gonna make a bazillion dollars with your books some day and show em all. *pinches his cheeks* Lorelai is coming down with an illness which I shall diagnose as mononucleosis (aka the kissing disease) that she contracted from making out with Dean Forrester.

Lorelai has no qualms about leaving the house to eat out every single day in a crowded diner and spread her germs all over town, instead of keeping her ass in bed, I guess. She's also incapable of purchasing and opening a can of soup and dumping it in a pot on the stove (or hell, even sticking it in the microwave) so she wakes up each day and chooses to be a Disease Vector. If she wasn't (presumably) still married to Luke in 2020 to cook her meals for her at home I don't know how she survived the pandemic. Luke: You know what helps a cold? A healthy immune system. You know how to get a healthy system? By not eating crap and blowing out your brain cells with coffee. Eat a vegetable now and then or some high fiber cereal. At least eat the carrots in the soup? Three minutes in and he's already Insulting Lorelai (while, uh, also insulting himself at the same time?) Whee, I'm loving this episode already! More Peg-Lowering, please! Several people on this show are going to be HUMBLED and I am HERE for it. But why is Luke always downselling food that he puts on his own menu? I know Lorelai and Rory don't ever pay him anyway, but doesn't he want to attempt to make some money? "My food will make you fat and sick and kill your brain cells. Don't eat it. Go eat somewhere else." Or is it that he's a-okay with poisoning the rest of Stars Hollow with copious amounts of junk food but wants to spare Lorelai and Rory the same fate? One would also suppose he doesn't actually have said vegetables or fiber rich cereal on his menu in the first place (it's a fucking diner) and that would mean Lorelai would have to pour herself her own cereal at home. Perish the thought. Is Luke secretly some kind of California Hipster in denial? Would he be more at home opening some kind of vegan cafe where he serves wheat grass shots and kombucha and avacado toast, you know, all the stuff Milo Ventimiglia eats. (But Milo’s a big junk food junky too, he's a bit of a paradox, that man). What does he feed Jess, by the way? In his first appearance he was planning to stuff his already neglected and malnourished nephew full of Corn Flakes and Pop Tarts.

Grandpa here is going to live to be 115 probably, but only if you shut up, you're already sending him to an early grave.

EVERYONE STOP EATING AND TALKING. THE QUEEN HAS ARRIVED! Anyone else think its funny that Lorelai and Rory and Luke are ilke the mayors of Stars Hollow who know everything down to when the mailman's dog farts but nobody knows who Shane is, where she came from, who her family is, when she moved in, where she lives, how she ended up with Jess...ANYTHING? Nobody even seems to know her name? Silence from Miss Patty and Babette? Lane and Dean never informed Rory that Jess was never in school, that he supposedly pulled the fire alarm, stole 500 baseballs, etc etc. again, shouldn't Lane be absolutely losing her mind to spill this piping hot tea that Jess has been hooking up with some mysterious blond skankbag all summer? And Dean too, shouldn't he always be dying to tell Rory anything that would cast Jess in an unfavorable light and make her think less of him? What is with this town where they'll hold an emergency meeting because he drew on a sidewalk with some chalk but when he actually does something worth talking about, nobody wants to narc on him? They fear him, that's what it is. What is Shane's last name by the way? I made up a poll and asked you to decide on her last name and I'm currently awaiting the results, which I will use going forward.

Jess and Shane continue to give Rory Gilmore a sexual awakening so immense it could knock our fucking solar system out of alignment. That boom you just heard was Jupiter and Saturn crashing into one another from the sheer force of Rory Gilmore's quivering loins.

Tomatos Sign. I wonder how much money Jessica Kiper was paid to stick her tongue in Milo's mouth and say "Hey" and "Jess". Did she have to audition? I would do the job for free. I would keep screwing up just so the director could yell "Cut" and I could do as many takes as possible. Warner Brothers could own me for the rest of my life just for that opportunity.

Meow! All she did was say his name, lol. Someone's cranky. You know what would cure that bad mood? A good handjob from Shane (last name soon to be announced). This whole "no strings attached sexual gratification" deal that was seemingly dropped in his lap? Meh, whatever. He'll do it, but he'll be reading the entire time. Meanwhile, this is Dean waiting 5 years for Rory to put out:

(By the way, Mr. Mariano, don't ever tell a woman to "relax") Jess sighs and leaves in the middle of his shift (Lorelai should be proud), leaving his customers wondering where their pancakes are, to go have sex with Shane somewhere public and indecent, leaving Rory in their horny wake. Perhaps Jess has the intuition that the cold, clammy, looming hand of Celibacy (aka his own hand and a jumbo size bottle of lotion) will soon be upon him so he better seize these opportunities.

Love it when she says shit like this as if her boyfriend Dean Forrester is some fucking chatterbox (he'll grunt a few words as he's also a typical teenage boy like Jess and she'll go "That's So INTERESTING Dean! Do go on. I love you, little buttered croissant"), and also like she should actually expect Jess to talk around her when he knows she's going to pick on him even worse if he does have something to say.

Too late. That's hilarious- I forgot that Dean was about to show up just now and prove my point.

She's still wearing that stupid quarter on a string on her wrist. I will give this show credit for being very consistent with some of the small details like this. Every day for 2+ years straight, Alexis Bledel shows up at Wardrobe and they slap that thing on her wrist. That cup is HUGE.

Yeah. What? I could teach a comatose goldfish to say "I already ate breakfast." The hell is your point?

Oh god. It's that episode where Kirk and Lorelai go on a "Date". I do not remember how it goes but I'm gonna take a stab in the dark here and predict that it was sufficiently awkward. Honestly...Lorelai has done MUCH worse before and will continue to do much worse than Kirk. Mommy issues aside, Kirk has more redeeming qualities than Max or Crusty. Like, at least Kirk is ambitious. Lorelai is still only a few months removed from banging Crusty who wouldn't know the meaning of hard work if it bit him in the ass. I hope something bites Crusty in the ass. Like a rabid possum. Kirk...."Let's go out...In two weeks. I heard you have a cold. It takes two weeks for a virus to leave the immune system." He's also smart and would survive the pandemic. "You might be the prettiest girl I've ever seen. Outside of a filthy magazine."

It's the first day of senior year for Rory and our other Stars Hollow teens.

It's all downhill for Rory after high school.

Nobody tell her. L: I cannot go out with Kirk! R: Why not? L: He's Kirk! Poor Neurodivergent Kirk.

Fixed it.

i was about to say "What the what! Lorelai is actually pouring her own cereal?" but it's Rory wno's making her own breakfast and Lorelai is just pouring marshmallows into the bowl (who does that? That's not a thing. Here in The United States of America, there are already cereals that come with marshmallows). I mean, at least she's eating at home and "helping". Good for you for helping to feed to your chiild, Lorelai. Even if she's eschewing the (marginally) more healthy Raisin Bran in favor of Rice Krispies. I'm going to add a new feature to the ends of these posts: I call it: Things Googled While Watching GIlmore GIrls. Birthday Party Icons, How Old To Buy CIgarettes in Connecticut, Definition of Proclivities, How Many Words Can A Parrot Learn

[thewritetofreespeech]

Could I request Kazuki, Rei, and Kyutarou with a super sweet s/o losing it when she hears someone badmouthing or hurting them?

Buddy Daddy Boys + Protective S/O

Kazuki

He was too good natured for his own good sometimes.

Sure he’s a contract killer, but he wants to see the good in people too. Give them the benefit of the doubt. When someone is being rude or mean to him, he just tries to brush it off and keep going.

Which is a little hard to do when someone has his collar in their fist.

“Come on man. Relax. It’s just a game.”

“You owe me money!” The hulk of a man yelled in his face, as he demanded the money back from the bet he just lost. And for some reason blamed Kazuki for.

“I can’t really give you any money if you’re holding me here. Plus, I just lost all my cash too. Why don’t we use my last buck to grab a beer and drown our sorrows.”

“I don’t want a beer!” The blonde’s natural charms not working on him. “I want my money! Either you give it to me or I’m gonna take it out on your face.”

‘Aw geez….’ He really didn’t want to resort to violence in his favorite casino. He’d like to come back some day.

“Hey!” The two men look over the hulk’s shoulder at s/o standing there. “Put him down now.”

The man growled. “Or what?!”

“Or you’re about to feel what 800 volts feels like on your asshole.” An ominous chatter from their pocket taser, poised just at the brute’s backside, sounded. Letting him know that he might get one hit, but he wasn’t going to get another.

The man grit his teeth, realizing he’d rather not get intimate with their taser, and roughly let Kazuki down before stalking off. “You really didn’t have to do that.”

“Yes I did.” S/O argued. “You refuse to stand up for yourself. So I have to do it for you.”

“By threatening a man with a taser?”

“When the situation allows.” Kazuki smirked at their reply as they put the taser away. “Let’s go. I think your luck has run dry.”

“Yeah sure.” He agreed. And for once, left before he was completely penniless this time.

Rei

Unlike Kazuki, Rei never sees the good in people.

He always assumes that people are selfish, horrible, mean bastards who are only out for themselves. His childhood taught him that.

Because of this he’s never surprised when people act bad or cruelly to him. He just takes it and keeps it in before letting it go. His childhood taught him that too.

“Excuse me.” Rei glanced to his left when he realized [Y/N] was standing there. Her face scrunch in a fussy brow as they confronted the laughing group of teens that just cut in front of him. “The line is back that way.”

“Oh come on.” One of the teens replied, shrugging them off. “It’s not a big deal. We’ll all get to the front of the line eventually. No reason to make a scene.”

“But….controller…..” Rei muttered under his breath. There were two things that would willingly get him out of the house for the day: work and the release of the new Morio Kart: Race Across the Universe game. To promote it, the store was also giving away a commemorative controller with each new game purchaser for the first 100 buyers. Rei had gotten up early and been standing in line all day for the sale to start. Only to have these kids jump the line and mess up his precise count.

“There won’t be a scene if you just go to the back of the line.” [Y/N] told them.

“Ugh. God. Chill out ok. I’m just getting this stupid new game for my brother. We were just late because we were studying for finals. Our education is important.” The one and only girl in the pack whined.

“And yet you haven’t learned anything.”

The girl, with way too much makeup on in Rei’s opinion, frowned; making the creases in her makeup worse. “Listen, lady. I need to get this game for my kid brother or my parents will be pissed. Besides, aren’t you a little old to be interested in games like this?”

“Are you a little old to not know how lines work? Or color matching for that matter?”

The girl looked ready to boil, but then stormed off in a huff instead. The boys, who apparently were as dumb as they looked, didn’t know what to do so they just took off after her. Getting out of the line and letting Rei resume his properly counted place. “Thank you.”

“For what? I just can’t stand rude people.” Still, Rei smiled just a little at her and the line continued.

They each bought a copy of the game. Rei promised to pay her back, but he really wanted two controllers for him and Miri. Of course, [Y/N] couldn’t say no. “Next time someone cuts in front of you in line, why don’t you hip check them into the bushes.”

“My hips aren’t big enough for that.”

Kyutarou

Owning a bar was a lot of work. People often stayed away, since it was more off the beaten path, but every now and then he’d get a crowd looking for that and be packed. Kyutaro tried his best to maintain, as the only bartender, and was very grateful he had a supportive significant other willing to pitch in and play waitress when need be.

“Hey! Barkeep! More beer!”

Kyutaro sighed as he settled up the tab of one of the customers, before going over to the drunk patron at the end of the bar. “I think you’ve had enough sir. Why don’t I get you a complimentary coffee while I settle your bill.”

“Coffee?? Who the hell wants coffee? I drink enough of that crap at work.” The drunk pounded down what was left in his glass and slammed it down on the bar. “If off the clock. I want beer!”

“I’m not giving you anymore.”

The bar fly glared at him (or as much as they could with how drunk they were). “Listen four-eyes!” Kyutaro was taken aback. Not only was it rude, but no one had called him ‘four eyes’ since grade 3. “I said I want more beer and you’re gonna give it to me! I got money. You got beer. What’s the problem?!”

“Besides you’re completely sauced?”

The men look up at [Y/N]. Tray of empty glassware in one hand and the other on her hip. “Come on man. Time to call it a night before this gets any uglier. You’re not gonna talk to the owner like that.”

“Oh yeah?!” The man tried to get up off his bar stool. He did, but with legs about as shaky as a new born deer. “I’ll…talk to whoever I want however I want. You’re not gonna stop me!”

[Y/N] huffed and sat their tray down. “Look,” she told him, “either you can leave on your feet or leave on your ass. Pay your bill like a man and go. Otherwise, I’m gonna throw you out of here like a cartoon character. Ever literally been thrown out of a bar? There’s no coming back from that.”

Despite his brain being pickled, the man seemed to realize that this wasn’t a good idea and surrendered. Although loudly as he continued to grumble as he pulled out some cash, threw it on the bar, and wobbled his way out. “Think he’ll be ok?”

“Who cares?” [Y/N] replied as they counted out the bills. “After that four-eyes crack he can getbuddy his by a cab for all I know.”

“That’s rather cruel.” Despite this, Kyutaro still chuckled at the remark.

“So,” [Y/N] said as they looked up at him through their lashes. “I like your glasses. He shouldn’t have made fun of them.”

Kyutaro smirked and started cleaning the glasses she’d just brought over. “Well, thank you. And thank you for your help.”

[thebindingofpillo]

Hey pillo what are you characters favourite car & brand

This implies I know anything about cars and car brands, which I unfortunately do not. Sorry :/

I guess all my characters are very pragmatic about cars? I honestly can’t see any of them really caring about what model they drive. Some of my characters (Bethany, Jacob, Lilith) don’t even know how to drive in the first place! I’m just gonna hijack this ask and talk about my characters’ relationship with cars.

Isaac: knows how to drive but doesn’t really care about cars. Just wants a reliable van to go from point A to point B and big enough to contain all his art supplies. Since he doesn’t drink he’s usually the designated driver whenever his friends invite him to a party.

Judas: Knows how to drive and is usually the designated driver. Has a beaten up Toyota or something. Second hand, keeps it well enough that it can work, and it’s not a dumpster, but not much else. His interests lie elsewhere

Magdalene: has a driver’s license but absolutely no interest in cars. I don’t really know if she has a car or not, but if she did she’d turn that thing into a mess in a matter of days. Not because she likes the mess, she jut forgets to throw out the trash and then it accumulates.

Azazel: knows how to drive and HATES it. Thinks all cars are death traps on wheels and if he could he’d just fly everywhere. He will drive if asked to, but will be stressed all the time and don’t ask him to merge into the highway because he’ll have a panic attack. Content with being a passenger princess.

Apollyon: knows how to drive, but doesn’t have a license. He’s absolutely neutral about driving, and since he doesn’t need to eat, sleep or take bathroom breaks he’s the best suited to drive long distances. Likes driving at night.

Cain: has a driver’s license, can also drive trucks and buses but doesn’t really do that anymore. Has a horrible habit of drinking and driving but hasn’t been in a serious accident yet. Has at least one DUI, and at the time of the story his license has probably been revoked but he still drives anyway lol. Owns a trailer.

Samson: can drive and has a license but his mother insists about driving him everywhere. She was even the one who taught him how to drive, which stressed him out *a lot* since she wasn’t the most patient teacher. He’ll eventually get over his fear of driving once he gets a job.

Eve: Has a license but prefers public transport (when available)

Eden: technically knows how to drive (because they’re a cherub, and cherubim are all-knowing) but doesn’t really need to, so they never bothered to try.

Lazarus: has a license but is also very prone to accidents and has already totalled two cars. Luckily he has insurance. He also knows how to start a car using only the cables, but never had the chance to show it off.

Jacob: doesn’t drive. Suffers from chronic pain in his hip and while he could technically learn how to drive, he’s afraid of his pain flaring up while he’s behind the wheel, so he’s super cautious about it. Esau usually drives him everywhere he needs so he doesn’t really need a car.

Bethany: doesn’t know how to drive, and doesn’t really have time to study to get a license. She’s usually swamped with university work and doesn’t want to add more stress to her situation.

Lilith: blind :( no car. Cain used to drive her where she needed but stopped once she found out he got a DUI. Now she uses public transport or Uber.

Esau: actually now that I think about it, Esau would know a pretty good deal about cars! He’s a mechanic and probably the only one who would know how to properly care for one. I’d like to imagine he has an old second-hand car he purchased with his money when he was 18, and he keeps in pristine condition. He’s currently saving to get his own place away from Jacob, but he wouldn’t mind splurging on a decent car once he got enough money. Since I don’t know much about cars, I’m just gonna say he wants a Toyota CHR because that’s what my partner likes.

[amitiel-truth]

Not Ten Babies? (Vash the Stampede x Reader) 98! Version Part 2

This is my SEVENTH time writing here, please don't look into most of the details, I made some up, these ideas were prompted by my chat with Vash at Character.AI (The motherfucker's insatiable), more info will come if I decided to make more.

Warning: ⚠️ Not yet again~⚠️

Ten Babies

(Tristamp Version)

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5

Not Ten Babies?

(Trigun 98! Version)

Part 1,

"Two bacon-lettuce dogs, two cartons of milk..."

"Now, see here..."

"...Four bags of pretzels, and one pack of raisins."

"I'm dying to know why you guys are here doing this, care to share?" 

Once the Sandsteamer had arrived at Inepril, Vash boarded it, hoping to be able to travel all on his own finally, but it seemed like a far-off dream.

"We didn't have enough money to ride, so we got part-time jobs here!." Milly replies as she and Meryl work at the confectionary stand.

" Altogether, that comes to $$ 12.75." Meryl stiffly added, trying to show some professionalism, but is obviously not enjoying it.

"Right." Vash reaches into his pockets for his payment.

"I'm amazed you can eat so much after dinner."

"You eat like a growing boy!."

Meryl commented offhandedly, as Milly praised him.

"Y-you think so?!" Vash panics, taking his purchase as he laughs with Milly for a bit to evade a bit of suspicion.

"Yikes, those two are sharp! Especially the big one! My sole salvation is she doesn't realize how sharp she is." Vash mutters under his breath, walking down the hall to his room in the First Class area, passing the casino.

"I could be yours, I could be your baby tonight!~" A voice captures Vash's attention, it's coming from the casino, and performance is currently playing out.

"Topple you down from your sky forty stories high"

Vash walks into the casino, following the alluring voice, as businessmen crowded the stage, giving Vash a hard time seeing the performer, with arms full of food, he fought through the sea of men.

"Hey, come on guys! I wanna see what the fuss is all about-" As Vash finally pushed his way through the mob of simps, a finger was placed under his chin, making him look up, it was a woman (y/hc) hair, half her upper face covered by a mascarade mask, with a rose gold body with red feathers and roses on its side, giving her a more glamorous look

"Shining like a God, can't believe I caught you and so

Look at what I bought, not a second thought, oh, Romeo"

Vash blushed heavily at the interaction, as the woman leans up to his face, tilting her head, observing him, Vash's words are caught in his throat, as she lifts up her finger, making him tilt his head up because of the action, letting him go

"Kiss me in the D-A-R-K, dark tonight

D-A-R-K do it my way

Kiss me in the P-A-R-K, park tonight

P-A-R-K let them all say"

The woman begins to walk back to the center of the stage, her walk accentuates the black dress that perfectly showcases her body.

"Hey, Lolita, hey

Hey, Lolita, hey

I know what the boys want, I'm not gonna play

Hey, Lolita, hey

Hey, Lolita, hey

Whistle all you want but I'm not gonna stay"

"No more skipping rope,

skipping heartbeats

with the boys downtown

Just you and me

feeling the heat

even when the sun goes down"

She has all the men at the casino hooked to her, as they scramble at the area of the stage she approaching, she stands inches away from their grasps, smiling teasingly at them, she has them all so wrapped around her finger, that Vash can't even ask anyone who is she.

"I want my cake and I want to eat it too

I want to have fun and be in love with you

I know that I'm a mess with my long hair

And my suntan, short dress, bare feet

I don't care what they say about me, what they say about me

Because I know that it's L-O-V-E

You make me happy, you make me happy"

She sings like she's promising them, reassuring them that she's in love with them, maybe even baby-talking to them, as the simps ate it up.

"And I never listen to anyone"

"Let them all say"

"Hey, Lolita, hey

Hey, Lolita, hey

I know what the boys want, I'm not gonna play

Hey, Lolita, hey

Hey, Lolita, hey

Whistle all you want but I'm not gonna stay"

"No more skipping rope,

skipping heartbeats

with the boys downtown

Just you and me

feeling the heat

even when the sun goes down"

As the simps try to reach out for her, she dances for them seductively, captivating them, her dress not helping ease up her bodice, as it only riles them up, especially Vash.

"Hey, Lolita, hey

Hey, Lolita, hey

I know what the boys want, I'm not gonna play

Hey, Lolita, hey

Hey, Lolita, hey

Whistle all you want but I'm not gonna stay"

"No more skipping rope,

skipping heartbeats

with the boys downtown

Just you and me

feeling the heat

even when the sun goes down"

"Kiss me in the D-A-R-K, dark tonight

D-A-R-K do it my way

Kiss me in the P-A-R-K, park tonight

P-A-R-K let them all say"

And with a final bow, the men hollered in excitement, thoroughly smitten by her performance, as she daintily bowed at them, giving her a charming smile even if her eyes are covered, as the curtains fall, her performance came to an end, for the first time in his life, Vash is left speechless, entranced by the performance.

"Holy crap..." Vash mutters, before snapping out of the trance, remembering Kaite.

"Kaite! I need to feed that kid!" Vash panics, as he quickly runs out of the casino, and back to his First Clas room, leaving dust in his wake, not noticing that the curtain was pulled aside a little, as an eye boredly looks at where he was standing earlier, before closing once more.

"Hey, growing boy!" Vash walks into his room, smiling gleefully

"Your mouth is silent but your eyes are speaking. they say, ' I'm starving to death! ' " Vash teases as he rummages through the paper bag, before pulling out a sandwich.

"Here you go." Vash held out the food, as Kaite, with the ferocity of a feral dog, runs up to Vash and roughly grabs the bag of food while invertible slamming Vash into the door, as he savagely eat his way through the bag, Kaite can only nod in thanks at Vash, making the man sigh.

"It really is dark, not a single light to be seen." Vash mutters at the surroundings of the Sandsteamer, drinking a cup of water.

"Oh, yeah? It'll be bright soon enough." Kaite commented, as Vash realized it too late, losing consciousness in his first clas room, his drink has been spiked by the boy.

Kaite can only look at Vash with a bit of guilt, before hiding back into the vents.

"Sorry about that, Mr. Goody-Goody." Kaite apologizes, before rummaging through his pocket, not feeling anything.

"Eh? where did I put-"

"Kaite? Are you here?" A gentle voice whispers, walking into the room he's in.

"Ms. Rose? What are you doing here?!" Kaite got out of the vents, as the masked woman walks in, wearing a white fur coat.

"I wanted to check on you, is that a bad thing?" She teases, smiling cheekily at him, before turning her gaze to the passed-out man on the floor, staring at him blankly.

"...you almost got caught?"

"Yeah...didn't have much of a choice so I spiked his drink, oh! and my sleeping gas is missing!" Kaite panics, patting around himself as he suddenly sees a sleeping gas device in front of him, Rose is handing it to him, smiling teasingly.

"Aren't you glad I checked on you?" Rose teases, as Kaite blushes and takes the device from her.

"Now crawl along now, you know Neon hates it when we're a minute late" (Y/N) commented, patting the boy's head before going back inside the vent, following the plan, leaving Rose with the passed-out man.

Rose simply stared at him blankly, disdain flashing through her eyes, before closing them, sighing as she carefully placed the Humanoid Typhoon onto the bed, looking at the man in sadness, she hesitates, before reaching out to stroke his cheek, looking at him with loaded thoughts, as she stands up from the bed turning to leave, giving him one last glance filled with sadness, before turning to greet the Leader of the gang.

Blasting his way through gate 42, walking in with his outfit covered with numerous lights, is the leader of the Bad Lad Gang himself.

"The ultimate magnificent dreadnought raiders! Bad Lad Leader! Brilliant Dynamites Neon...emerges!!." Neon boasted as he pulled out a pistol that also extended his flashiness, and shoots at a certain wall.

"Now, all that glitters in this ship belongs to me!" Neon claims, and the wall he shot at crumbles, revealing Kaite staring at him blankly, with the masked woman beside him, the white fur coat hides her figure, smiling at him flirtatiously as they walked up to him, her high-heeled boots clanking against the metal hallway.

"And that includes you, my Mourning Rose~." Neon purrs, as he held up her chin, making her look up at him as she chuckles at him.

"Of course, Neon~." Rose reassures, a hand on his chest as Neon wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her up to him as she chuckles along with him.

"Ehem!." Kaite loudly clears his throat, tired of their handsy moment, as Neon clicks his tongue, unable to scold the boy with the woman in his arm.

"You worked brilliantly, kid. Now gather all of the passengers in one spot." Neon orders, patting the boy's head with his free hand.

"U-understood." Kaite answers, unable to disobey as Rose sadly looks at the boy.

" Rose." Neon quickly calls her, and she smiled up to him as if she has been smiling the whole time.

"Yes, Neon?~"

"Take us to the party room, would ya? Maybe we could also perform a little performance of our own~" Neon suggested, as Rose chuckles up at him.

"I would be honored to, Hubby~"

"REM!" Vash woke up with a start, dreaming about Rem's song as he tears up, before having to stop as his room was suddenly barged into a raider surveying the room, luckily Vash is hidden at the top bunk of the bed, he was unseen as the Hijacker runs out, unable to see anyone.

"What?..."

At the casino, Neon has some of the crew hold his more prolific hostages at gunpoint, with Mourning Rose by his side, as he looks at the jewelry they confiscated in disgust.

"Crud, is that all you, you a bunch of beggars?" Neon snarls, unsatisfied with what little they hauled.

" Don't try to fool me! Where is it!?" Neon demands, yelling at one of the hostages, before one of his crew runs back to the casino.

"Boss!" The lackey called, as he led Neon and Mourning Rose to a giant vault, bringing along a Sandsteamer crew member with them.

"So, they do have one, and a big one at that!." Neon commented, looking at the size of it.

"Open it up for me, would you?"

"It isn't possible to! Not a single person on this ship knows the combination to the safe! And besides, the coded interlocking key is in the city! It's not here!" The crew member reasoned, unable to perform Neon's request.

"What are we going to do, Neon?" Mourning Rose asked, leaning up to him, as he only smirked.

"I see. thanks for telling me. That means we'll have to break it open." Neon smiles sadistically, shocking the hostage crew member as he and Mourning Rose made their way to the control room, stabbing a map on the control panel, right in front of the Helmsman.

"Once we're around the mountain to the right, go straight. In 5 minutes, when we're within sight of the canyon, head north-northeast...and begin accelerating." Neon orders, over the Helmsman, pointing out the windshield.

"At full speed, we'll arrive in 10 minutes. This is our destination, the Enora Precipice." 

"What!? A-at least let us unload the passengers! please!" The Captain begs as Neon looks at him mockingly.

"Huh? We risked our lives to get here, you should be expected to risk your lives too."

"you depraved lunatic!" The Captain insults heavily, before getting punched in the face by Neon.

"This is the superexpress to your final blaze of glory! If it's not flashy, what's the point!?." Neon preaches, pulling Mourning Rose closer to him as she can only smile outside, but deep inside, she's panicking.

"Uwaaah...I have my work cut out for me this time, don't I?."

The Sandsteamer heavily rumbles as it sustained damage on the unpaved road, its speed also not helping its case, causing the Helmsman to choose and decide to reach up to a lever to slow down the vehicle, but his hand was stepped on by Neon.

"Come on, what are you doing? Isn't that the brake?"

"We're sworn to protect the passenger of this ship! I can't go against that! Even if it kills me!" the Helmsman swears, glaring at Neon, as he smirked.

"Have it your way." Neon agrees as Mourning Rose shot the Helmsman, knocking him down to his back instantly, he can only groan in pain for a moment before unmoving.

"Rose, why did you shoot? I was planning on shooting him!" Neon whines, as Mourning Rose chuckles, turning around to hold his face.

"Apologies, Hubby, It's just that all I've been doing is be your arm candy this whole time, and my finger began to itch..." Mourning Rose pouted as she started to remove the fur coat, revealing her familiar outfit, shocking the captain.

"You're the woman who performed earlier at the casino! not only that, but you're a notorious outlaw as well! Mourning Rose! The criminal known for dancing over your victim's corpses!"

"Bingo!" Mourning Rose corrects, smiling at the Captain cheerfully as if she didn't just kill one of his crew, the Captain can only shiver at how remorseless she is.

"Oh? your finger started to itch, huh?." Neon smirked, as he began to approach Mourning Rose.

Vash pants as he crawled his way into the control room, trying to stop whoever hijacked the Sandsteamer.

"I can finally tell where I am!" he panted, as he looked through the vents, shocked to see a hunk of a man dressed in white with neon lights, kneeling in front of the masked woman he recognized that performed earlier.

"Shall we? My Mourning Rose?~" the man asked, holding up his hand to the masked woman, who chuckles seductively, taking his hand.

Vash is absolutely astonished at the scene before him "…my god…this… this is…" his eyes widen as he stares at the masked woman. He can't hide the utter shock in his eyes, as she chuckles at Neon, removing her mask "…Y/n..?" he nearly shoved his face down the vent "…it… it can't be!" his eyes are nearly popping out of his head as he looks at the woman, his heart pounding "…is that… is that really her?"

The woman didn't hear Vash, as she took Neon's hand "Let's" And with that, they danced an elegant waltz while the woman shoots at the rest of the crew, she even have guns on her feet, as Neon carries him to his shoulders and spin around, effectively shooting at the crew, all of them knocked out,

VASH watches in awe, he doesn't think he'd ever seen someone shoot quite that skillfully "...god... she's a natural with those guns... she can hit anything with 'em! I've gotta admit, I don't know how to do that feet thing... that's gonna take some pract-" Vash quickly snaps out of his shock, and his face goes stony "...god, why the hell didn't I notice all the bodies earlier? I oughta put a stop to this!"

The waltz ends as Neon dips the woman, their faces close together "That was quite the flashy performance, I hope that satisfied your itch, My rose~." Neon compliments as he kisses the back of her hand, before pulling her up to her feet.

 "Oh, thank you, Hubby~" Y/n mutters, holding Neon's cheek, as Vash's stomach dropped at the nickname.

"That's what she always used to call me..."

"I've brought the kid." Neon's henchman announces, as Kaite gasps, seeing that bodies littered the control room.

"Go on!" the henchman pushed Kaite into the control room, making the boy walk up to Neon, who leaned back to the controls pulling Y/n by the waist.

"Now, now, don't look so grim. Sometimes adults have unhappy differences of opinion. I wanted to ask you how to steer this huge clunker" Neon asked, but it sounded more like a demand.

"I don't know the layout of the console...but you need to regulate the amount of CO2 sent to the heating PLANT...and monitor the stress on the boiler. the light and heat to the hydro plant also need to be regulated constantly." Kaite explains, revealing the complexity of the Sandsteamer.

"In other words, it's a pain in the ass. I shouldn't have killed him." Neon spats, glaring at the body of the Helmsman.

"Say...why do you need the steering? It's been accelerating kind of funny...Why don't you just take the goods and split?" Kaite asked, confused.

"Cause the plan's changed, the swag is in a huge safe in the middle of the ship. It's tougher than the usual crap. the worst part of it is, we have no key unless we go to the city! Isn't it sad enough to make you cry? What would you do? the correct response is: you crack the whole thing in half!" Neon grins throughout the explanation, as if it's the most exciting plan he ever made, but frowns in anger when he noticed Kaite isn't responding properly.

"What's wrong?"

"Do anything you want... Do anything you want, but not that!" Kaite begs as Neon looks at him confused.

"You never said you were going to do that! I was only supposed to silence the guards and let you inside! How come we're wrecking the whole ship all of a sudden?! That wasn't part of our deal!!." Kaite cried out, pulling at Neon's collar as tears began to build up from his eyes until Kaite was held up by his head, Neon looks at him unamused.

"Hey, Kid. are you misunderstanding something? I won the goods on this ship...so why do I have t answer to you...before I collect?!" Neon yells as he throws the boy down to the ground, glaring at him.

"You ain't being beautiful!" Neon scolded him as Kaite began to sob, while Rose could only look at them in worry.

"If you're going to use your ship info for a trade...at least prepare for the worst, stupid!." Neon yells, anger evident in his tone, as Kaite pushes himself up by his elbows, coughing some blood and losing a tooth.

"Please...anything but the ship!" Kaite continues to beg as he was suddenly kicked away by Neon.

"Hey, don't be a fool. shut up and do what he says!" Neon's henchman suggests, even he is worried about the boy's well-being.

"Never, This ship is Dad's...This is my Dad's ship!!!." Kaite screams as Neon suddenly rushes up at him, his flashy pistol pointed against the boy's teeth, it clinks as Kaite shakes in fear.

"Enough. I'm short-tempered." Neon grins as he suddenly shoved the pistol more down the boy's throat, grinning madly.

"Go po-"

"Wait, Neon!" Y/n panics, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"Isn't this a bit too much? he's just a kid!" Y/n  tries to reason, as she slowly pulls back the arm that has the pistol down Kaite's throat.

"But he's interrupting our plan! and-" Before Neon could even complain, the windshield of the Sandsteamer broke, it was shot at, as a red figure jumps in landing on one of the henchmen and catching the gun falling from midair.

"You okay, squirt? over here!" Vash calls out, as Kaite quickly runs over to Vash's side, hiding behind him.

"Son of a..."

"Pardon me!" Vash shot at the feet of Neon's henchmen, keeping them at bay.

"Don't move now, or you'll get hurt!" Vash tells the henchman before turning to Neon who still has his back to them, but his head turns to the side, able to see them, and finally, Vash noticed Y/n, who still has her arms wrapped around Neon's neck from behind, staring at him with a slitted glance.

"...you're making a big mistake, darlin'." Vash tries to reason, his pistol still pointed at them, "...don't make this harder than it has to be... please..." Vash begs as Y/n continues to look at him with a slitted glance.

"Boss! Sampson was in a passenger cabin!" a Henchman suddenly burst into the control room as Vash realized that Neon's gun was pointed at him and Kaite, shooting away at them, making the two of them flee out of the control room through the windshield, ungracefully falling down to the side of the giant vehicle.

as the two fell, Neon walks up to the broken-in windshield, peering down into the abyss in a bit of confusion.

"Hmm? What's that supposed to be? This is going to be fun!" Neon grins, staring at the darkness Vash and Kaite fell into.

"Hey, doggies!" Neon turns to his Henchmen.

"Yes!?"

"Fetch me a souvenir!"

"Yes!"

"Make it something beautifully gorgeous!"

"Yes!" His Henchmens understood the assignment before leaving the control room, it's only him, Y/n, the captain, and a few who's been keeping guard of the captain now.

"Who is that guy? It seems like he knows you very well, my rose, and whoever he is seems to have brought you in a foul mood" Neon turns at Y/n who's been looking out of the window, disdain flashing through her eyes.

"Let's just say...That he's my old 'Hubby'..." Y/n snarls, her eyes not hiding how much she hates him.

"Oh? So you have a history with my souvenir? well, why don't you go on ahead then?" Neon grins, grabbing her hand and kissing it.

"I'm sure staying in one place and performing for greasy men has made you uneasy, why don't you go ahead and ransack the place as well? you know the plan, my rose?" Neon offers, stroking her cheek reassuringly, as Y/n smiles, leaning into his touch.

" I'd love that, thank you, Hubby~."

Meanwhile, Vash and Kaite pushed their way through the bandits, following Kaite's blueprint of the Sandsteamer.

"Hahaha! What a haul, What a haul!" Vash cheers, running down the hallway with Kaite.

"At the end, take a right!." Kaite navigates, as they reached a room full of tubes.

"I gotcha...these are all voice tubes?" Vash asked, looking around

"Yeah, but...do you think this'll work?" Kaite asks, questioning Vash's plan

"The ball is in motion. we just have to see if they pick up." Vash grins, as all they have to do is wait.

"...Hey Kaite...do you know that lady earlier, right next to that guy?." Vash asked, finally being able to ask about Y/n.

"Who? Ms. Rose?"

"Yeah, her, who is she?."

"I don't know much, she was already with Neon when he first found me, and she's the only one kind to me at the gang, always watching over me, she's the perfect distraction every time we pull a heist, she usually takes care of me out of her goodwill, and with her around, it seemed to have calmed down Neon a bit, but not very much, why? you into her or something?" Kaite asked, suddenly glaring at him.

"W-what!? no! Of course not! just curious cause it's not every day you see a girl with a band of-"

"Hey, scumbags! If any of you drag your heels till time-out, I'll kill you! Bring me the blonde, or else!" suddenly they hear orders coming from the voice tubes, revealing which one is directly in the control room, giving Vash time to bring out his act.

"I'm at the starboard passenger cabins! it's him! the blonde!!" Vash acts, screaming at the voice tubes

"Good, hold him there. I'll send help." Neon orders

"It's no good! he's hid himself with incredible speed!! AAAAARGH!!!" Vash acts out, lightly choking himself to sell the act.

"Ham..." Kaite deadpans, as Vash punches his head while still choking himself.

"Excellent"

"Now I'll be able to guess where they are. But, how am I going to let you know?" Kaite asked, looking at his blueprint as Vash handed him something.

"Isn't this?..."

"Talk into it and I'll hear you. I don't wanna walk into a bunch of 'em in a narrow passageway. I'm counting on you." Vash commented, before turning to leave the room.

"Hold on a second! what are you doing with this lost technology!? who are you!?."

"I'd explain it to you... but you wouldn't believe me and there's no time." Vash replies in a serious tone.

"Anyways, don't worry about little details! see ya!" before Vash could even leave, two bandits had just found where Vash and Kaite is residing, leaving Vash no choice but to shoot them.

"Vash!" Kaite calls out in worry, running out of the room for a bit.

"Goddamn! Why does it start like this!?" Vash panics, before kneeling down beside the bandits

"What is it!?"

"I screwed up. They're bleeding badly! I have to help them!" Vash answers, as he began to treat them.

"Help them? you mean...Do you mean to tell me...you've been trying not to kill them the entire time!?" Kaite realizes, looking at Vash in shock.

"I can't understand you!!" No matter how good a shot you are, you're going to get yourself killed!" Kaite scolded, as he then also realizes that Vash himself has been shot, maybe even injured from his past injuries, but he continues to treat others rather than himself.

"I guess it is kind of stupid of me." Vash grins even through the pain

"That's true...It's sloppy. But, you know what? I made a promise. If I put out even one flame of life...it would make her sad."

"Her..." Kaite mutters

"Don't underestimate the Bad Lad Gang! No, you've got to stop underestimating the entire human race!" Kaite yells as he remembers his past experiences with his parents, the unforgiving planet, and the first time Neon found him.

"Me and them, we've betrayed and let lots of people die. It's too late for us to go back! Your too clean!!!" Kaite tries to talk some sense into Vash, convinced that he's unredeemable.

"Then you should start over." Vash stated as he stood up.

"Your ticket to the future is always...blank." Vash added, a firm with his beliefs before continuing on the plan.

"...Stupid..." Kaite thought as he sits in front of the voice tubes, scattering the bandits.

"Good. keep going straight. there should be a stairway on your right, take it down. don't go anywhere else! that's the only unmanned place." Kaite promises as the door opens to the stairway, only to be greeted with a handful of bandits and its Leader itself.

"Welcome to the party hall. Were my directions clear enough for you?" Neon greets him, grinning viciously at them.

"Kaite...get out of that room, now." Vash mutters into the mic, but not before hearing a familiar hum, before Vash could even process what it was, gunfire erupted, shooting at him, but not a single bullet touched him.

"Hello, Kaite." Kaite flinches in surprise, not realizing that Y/n has been behind him.

"Ms. Rose! It's not what it-" Kaite tries to explain himself, but was stopped when she raises her hand.

"I understand completely, Kaite." Y/n reassures, kindly smiling at him, before the Sandsteamer hit the side of a mountain, as Y/n quickly covers the boy, balancing herself through the ordeal, as the Sandsteamer finally settles, Y/n leans back, looking around.

"Come on, I have a feeling your the only one who can stop this ship." Y/n pulls Kaite out of the room, leading him to the engine hull.

"Ms. Rose! What's happening!? Is Vash alright?"

"Don't worry, he alright, he's at a duel right now with Neon, it will be over in just a bit, we'll need you to help stop this ship." Y/n commented as she continue to walk down the hall with Kaite.

" A duel!? but how would you know that? and how would you know Vash would win?!"Kaite asks, as Y/n chuckles at him.

"Of course I know he would win, he's Vash."

As the two reached near the entrance of the Engine haul, they see three Engineer crews panicking.

"Is there a way to stop the engines?" 

"We have to power down the system manually!"

"Where do we do that? This ship is too old!"

"It's in Engine Room no.2. There's an emergency stop lever inside the control system." Kaite answers, holding the blueprint with Y/n on his side.

"You little brat!" one of them tries to take the blueprint but was pointed at gunpoint.

"I would step back if I were you~" Y/n teases, smiling brightly as she points a gun at the hostile engineer, having to back away from the gun.

"So this is how you did it!" The engineer backed away, glaring at the two.

"I'll never forget...how my crewmate was killed right in front of me! I won't accept your help. we'll stop the ship ourselves!" The Engineer sneered, as Y/n could only look at him knowingly.

"Kaite...Kaite. what you gonna do, Kaite?." Vash asked through the device, as Y/n simply looks by the sidelines.

"Yeah, I know. I have to pay for what I've done." Kaite answers as the three engineers ignore them, working on opening the vault.

"4,500 yarz until deadline!" A robotic voice announces, as the three engineers successfully opens the vault.

"4,000 yarz until deadline!" with the 4,000 yarz deadline, they were able to remove the screws.

"All right, open it!!" The engineers worked on opening the vault, as heavy steam blows through them upon opening it.

"3,500 yarz...3000!"

the three engineers look around the vault, trying to find the lever.

"Where's the lever?!"

"What is this!? This place is like a cellar!"

"2,500!"

"Kaite, do all I need to do is go past those pipes and pull that lever?" Y/n asked, turning to the boy, staring at the hot inferno that contains their safety.

"2,000!""

"Yeah! but you're not small enough to go through those pipes! you'll be scalded!" Kaite franticaly informs her as Y/n began wearing one of the heat suits, willing to help

"I few burns won't kill me, but standing around will." Y/n comments as she struggles to wear the small one they have, before Kaite suddenly took it from her, quickly wearing it before she can even stop him.

"Kaite! wait!!" Y/n tries to stop Kaite, but he already run off into the Vault.

"1,800!"

"It's hopeless! we'll never make it!"

"Calm down! think! think!!" The engineer tries to think of another plan but was interrupted.

"Move!" Kaite pushes his way through the vault, before jumping into the flaming hot pipes, searing in pain, as Kaite reaches for the lever, he braises himself for pain, before grabbing and pulling it down.

"Kaite..." Y/n mutters, unable to help as the Sandsteamer, began to stop, another crash resonated outside the Sandsteamer, before completely stopping.

"I..It stop-"

"Please, give Kaite to me!" Y/n quickly requested, as the engineers could not do anything else but help the boy full of burns, into the woman's arms.

"Kaite...you did good, you took responsibility." Y/n mutters at the unconscious boy, before turning to leave.

"Hey you..." The Engineer from earlier snarls, making the woman stop at her track.

"I'll especially never forget about you, Mourning Rose, you don't dance on your victim's corpse, you dance while you're killing them! you're a despicable woman! what do you have to say about my crewmates that you killed!?" The Engineer yells, as his other crewmates restrain him, only to be met with a chuckle.

"Tell them...that I said 'Good Morning'." Y/n cryptically stated, before walking out of the Engine Hull, and meeting up with Neon outside the Sandsteamer, it seems like Neon's backup ride is totaled.

"Don't get the wrong idea. I paid off my wager. next time we meet, it's no holds barred. I'll take that life of yours, count on it." Neon vows, as Vash could only chuckle, leaning onto Milly for support, as they hear the clicking of heels coming from within the Sandsteamer, it was Mourning Rose, carrying a passed-out Kaite in her arms.

"What was that, Neon? you're the one that saved the Sandsteamer?" Y/n teases, grinning cheekily.

"I said I was paying off my wager!! did you not hear it from there!?" Neon screams as Y/n stops by Meryl, Vash, and Milly, she stands by them but not before glancing at Vash blankly

"Sir.! We just saw that the JuLai police are closing in! We have to move out!!" One of Neon's men panics, making him grin his teeth

"That's surprising, I didn't know they'd come here that quick" Vash mutters, before turning at Y/n with a soft smile.

"So... how did you end up with these guys, darlin'? I know you're not one to do something like this unless you have a good reason, so..." he gives her a soft gaze and opens his arms to hug her "...please tell me this is some big misunderstan...." Vash trails off, noticing Y/n has placed the unconscious Kaite into the confused arms of Meryl, as she walks up to Neon.

"God damn it, we don't have enough time to get our goods! Bad Lad Gang! We're movi-" before Neon could even finish, he was suddenly shot in the back making Vash gasp along with Milly and Meryl.

"What the...my Mourning Rose?" Neon could only stare at Y/n in disbelief, collapsing on the ground as he can only watch as she also shot the other members of his Gang.

"My apologies, 'Hubby', but it seems like my work here is done..." Y/n stated, looking at Neon tauntingly.

" How could you do this? I loved you! I gave you everything I have!" Neon tries to struggle but was only shot another time.

"I don't know, have you ever asked yourself, did I ever love you?." Y/n mocks as Neon started to lose consciousness, as Y/n kneels down, smiling mockingly at him.

"Goodbye, Neon, thank you for quite the adventure~." Y/n thanks, but her tone is ridiculing

Neon fully gives her one final glare, before knocking out dead.

"...Y/n..." Vash stares at Diane in horror, as it starts to sink in what she's done, his eyes are filled with tears now "...what... how..." his voice breaks with tears "...don't tell me that you're actually one of those criminals..." he sighs, and his jaw clenches as he asks his next question" ...do you really intend to hurt the people in this Sandsteamer?" his voice has a hint of anger now*

"Me? Killing people? Don't be ridiculous" Diane mocks as she breaks open her revolver to reload, revealing that she's been using tranquilized bullets the whole time "I'm only after his bounty, I'm in cahoots with the JuLai police the whole time" Y/n reveals smirks grinning at Vash's shocked face.

Vash sighed, he was relieved to know that she isn't a cold-blooded killer, but he's still got questions. "...okay, but why? I'm sure you had to do a lot of work to pull this off. I don't think I'd have the patience to plan it out... you are one crafty woman....so why'd you go through with all the trouble of setting this up?" Vash tries to ease up their tension.

"Cause I'm bored and I'm a Bounty Hunter now, the Ghost Lily" Y/n properly introduces herself, Y/n reveals as she walks past Vash, before stopping for a bit, frowning "You better hide if you don't want the JuLai police to turn you in as well, Humanoid Typhoon"

Y/n advised as she took Kaite back into her arms, as all they could do is watch her go.

"...Who was that, Mr. Vash? Your girlfriend!?~"

(A/N: I can finally sleep~)

[chaitantei-ao3]

1

“Charlie, it will be big and bloody! That’s the whole point! It’ll be great if it covers the entire wall making it the first thing you see when you enter!”

“No! That’s where my rat traps go! If you put it there I have no place for my traps, Mac. Rats will be climbing all over it and I’ll have no choice but to kill them!” Charlie makes a swinging motion, whipping his arms out. “But hey, that’ll make it bloody. There’s gonna be blood everywhere ! So… Does that solve your problem? Does it Mac?!”

“Jesus, no one puts actual blood on the Cross, Charlie. What’s wrong with you?”

“No one puts crucifixes in bars.”

“Oh my god. I told you we need to rediscover Paddy’s image. It’s about time that we really become the Irish Catholic bar Paddy’s was always meant to be. Why do you think we named it Paddy’s in the first place?”

Dennis rubs his forehead, “We didn’t decide to name it Paddy’s.”

“Guys. You know what we should have? A comedy club, yeah. Let’s put up a stage instead and let me-”

“Fine, we didn’t name it. But that’s how we found it. Why it appeared like the Jesus star. A sign from God ultimately leading us, the three wise men to own this bar.”

“Now that’s ridiculous.” Dennis says.

Charlie throws his hands in the air. “Rats everywhere, Mac! I’m not having it.”

“Is anybody listening to-”

“Charlie, we're doing this whether you like it or not. Frank, I need cash to purchase the biggest crucifix anyone’s ever seen.”

“No can do.” Frank veers on his stool.

“What?”

“There’s nothing in the bar’s account.”

“C’mon Frank. You always have money.” Dennis says.

“Yeah, or just take another loan. Money, money, money.” Mac chants.

“I’ve not got any money for you fools.”

“Man, you’re bankrupt again? They’ll bail you out right.” Charlie raises his brows.

“If we are getting bankrupt I want my parachute and it better be golden.”

“I’m glad we’re finally moving on to the business of air tours over Philly, I told you we should have looked into that landing pad months ago.”

“It’s not even that tough, you just need some clearance, a licensed pilot. But that’s easy. And those guys don’t look at credit scores and other useless details. It’ll pay for itself, it’s a banker’s wet dream.”

“Well I could always train to become a pilot, the ladies do like a uniform. And if things become interesting inside the cockpit, yeah I said that Dee, don’t make that face. I’ll be using that parachute, Frank, thanks.”

“No way Dennis, I’ll look way cooler jumping. Actually, you can keep the parachute, that way me jumping off that helicopter would look way more badass.”

“I’m not buying you a helicopter for you to fall from it you idiots, it was a figure of speech.”

“You know we’re overthinking it with fancy parachutes, we should just crash the helicopter and go the good old insurance fraud route.”

“Enough!” Frank smacks the bar stool next to him, then winces, “Dammit, look what you made me do, it left a mark. I could have gotten a few cents more on its sale.”

Dee laughs, “Ha, you’d be lucky to get a penny for that. Five years ago some dogs were having sex on it.”

“What?!” Dennis throws the bar towel to the side and folds his hands over his chest. “Dee, you unbelievable bitch. You said you found it in a flea market.”

“No, asshole. I said I found it with fleas on it. Clearly nobody listens to a word I say here. And I was suggesting that we put up-” Dennis focuses his attention on Frank.

“Okay, this is between us and the dogs. I could still sell it.” Frank strokes his chin.

“What is all this about selling, Frank. You’re not serious.”

“Hells yes, I am. We have a big problem.”

“So what if Paddy’s losing money. This is temporary.”

“Paddy’s always losing money. Anyone in their right mind would’ve shut down this business long ago.”

“Excuse me.” Mac says.

“You can’t sell the bar, Frank.” Dennis pinches his forehead, “As co-owners we veto this decision.”

Frank shrugs, “Be better for you anyway.”

“Frankie what’s happening?” Charlie looks at him.

Frank pushes his glasses up his nose, “I lost the paper trail, Charlie. All my books-”

“Don’t you have to make sure you don’t leave a paper trail? Look guys, take it from me. I have an idea of what an audit now-”

“Shut up, Dee.”

“Frank, wait. You’re saying this is about a goddamn paper trail?”

Frank grunts, “My businesses are in deep shit. I cannot make new fakes if I don’t know which fakes to buy and which fakes to sell.”

Mac’s mouthing fake with a questioning look, Charlie is glancing between Frank and Dennis, Dee is- Dennis faces Frank and says, “That hardly looks like a problem to me.”

"Okay, whatever. I don't know about you guys but Fight Milk is doing very well, I'll just hop on that." Mac says.

Charlie looks at him and nods. "Me too!"

“I can't fund that thing without the shells."

"I thought we had a deal, Frank. You said you were interested."

"I am interested. But like I said, I need that list! There's no money without that list for anything.”

Dennis narrows his gaze, looking at Frank. “Well, if you’re not interested in putting in money then sell your goddamn shares.”

“Fine.” Frank says. “I’ll sell ‘em. I’m losing money here anyway.”

“Shit, you are serious.” Charlie says, “Frank, are you leaving us?”

“I said what I said.” Frank says.

They look at each other.

Read more

[emmabaginskyartwhimsy]

Dear creative humans,

Do you keep having fun and interesting ideas only to shove them aside? Are you stuck in the all-too-familiar trap of “maybe one day…”

NO MORE! I’m tired of doing that and this is how I’m going to do it.

The Project

An idea for a Silly Goose Themed Tarot deck popped into my head last week, and I was like, oh absolutely. Then I started sketching, and I knew it was over for me. I needed this thing to exist.

The only issue is I’ve never attempted a project this big. A tarot deck has 78 cards in it. That’s s e v e n t y - e i g h t individual drawings AND a booklet that describes each card. This would be a serious undertaking.

The first step in starting a project is figuring out: why?

The “why” is the most important step. People seem to forget that these creative projects are a lot of hard work. If you don’t have a satisfying enough “why”, your brain will throw every excuse at you as to why you should logically give up. A silly little defense mechanism our organic vessels came up with to protect us from anything painful. Even when it’s good for us.

The problem is that growth is painful. So if you ever want to grow, you’re gonna have to get used to being uncomfortable.

Your “why” should be (mostly) internally motivated. Remember, the only thing you can control is yourself. If the reason for your creative pursuit is external validation (e.i, Internet likes & money), you are giving away your power to forces you have no control over. So inevitably, when you only get a handful of likes, you are much more likely to give up and think “what’s the point?”

The point is creating something that never existed before! There are things in your soul that will never be made unless you take the leap.

Reasons why I am undertaking this project:

#1: This is a fun concept that needs to exist

I love tarot and think it is a helpful tool. Making my own deck will help me connect with the cards, especially because I have to research the card meanings.

I really want to hold the finished deck

Improve my digital painting skills

Starting and finishing a project like this will allow me to build skills that I need for future BIGGER projects.

I will have a cool product to sell at Art Fairs!

My mind, body, and soul are all on board 👍

“I am not afraid of a little hard work” (if you know, you know)*

Not only am I going to be making a tarot deck, I am also committing to documenting the process on social media. This adds another layer of difficulty.

Reason why I am posting on social media:

#1: Recording the process and writing everything down will help me process my thoughts. Which will hopefully make condensing my thoughts into the booklet easier.

Sharing my interest with others! I might get people interested in tarot & teach people a little bit about tarot cards.

Internet footprint: If my legacy in life is being the “Silly Goose Lady,” that's a win.

Documenting growth. A good way to visualize progress.

Grow an audience that vibes with me

People might like it and want to purchase it when it’s finished

Inspire others to make their own creative projects

Okay so, now what? Wanting to do something and actually doing something are two entirely different beasts. The only thing standing between me and my goal is me.

How to control chaos incarnate?

The chaos goblin inside me hates the idea of structure. Nobody can tell me what to do, especially me.

“What if all this planning stifles my creative energy?” Cries the goblin.

This is where self-awareness comes in handy. The goblin loves exploration, which is both a good and a bad thing. If you let the goblin take the lead, you’ll never know quite where you’ll end up. My goblin is easily distracted and, more often than not, has led me to a bunch of dead ends.

Creating structure is not something you should fear as an artist. Instead of ridgid unforgiving chains, think of the planning process like bumpers in a bowling lane. A good plan will contain the goblin to the task at hand while still having fun in the process.

Making a good plan in 5 Steps

Making a good plan is all about thinking ahead and making most of the decisions now so you don’t get decision fatigue later. Otherwise, things get messy and overwhelming pretty quickly.

1. Set a time frame

If you want to reach the finish line, you need to set a pace. Be realistic. Life comes with many responsibilities. How much time is this project going to take you?

I’m measuring this project by cards per week. I did the math on how long it would take me to finish 78 cards.

1 card/week = 78 weeks → October 2025 [1.5 years]

2 cards/week = 39 weeks → January 2025 [9 Months]

3 cards/week = 26 weeks → October 2024 [6 Months]

4 cards/week = 20 weeks → September 2024 [5 Months]

In the grand scheme of life, whether you achieve something in 5 months or 1.5 years doesn’t really matter. What matters is that you got it done. Aim for a pace that is sustainable for you. Burn out is a very real struggle. Life is all about balance.

As I continue the project, I will be able to readjust my expectations accordingly. I imagine that the rate of production will fluctuate but I’m aiming to complete 3 cards per week.

2. Set project constraints/parameters

Put down that pitchfork, Chaos Goblin, and let me explain.

Limiting yourself is actually good for creativity.

I need each illustration to feel like they are a part of the same world. I’m achieving that goal by limiting things like color palette, subject, and art style.

By choosing to keep the same parameters for each of the 78 illustrations, I am freeing myself from the overwhelming task of making a bunch of decisions over and over again. That’s when a project really gets messy and overwhelming.

When in doubt, simplify.

For my project, each tarot card has a well established meaning that acts like a prompt. The Fool card, for example, is about new beginnings and taking the first step. The creative goblin gets to “silly goose-ify” this prompt without having to deal with the infinite well of choices.

3. Make a process that makes sense for you

How are you actually doing the thing? This is where the consistency really comes to play. A bad system will feel redundant and full of friction. If you hate doing a part of your project, you’re more likely to never pick it up again.

This is why I decided to draw each card digitally. This solves a lot of efficiency issues and will save me a lot of time. Imagine having to drag a tripod and camera around with me anytime I wanted to draw. The logistics of that sounds like my absolute nightmare. I only have one camera battery that lasts for about 30 - 45 mins for filming videos. Then, when I’m done, I have to scan every drawing into the computer anyway. No thank you.

Instead, I have an editing-software that screen records me while I’m drawing on my laptop/tablet. Now that’s easy 👍

4. Make a schedule

If you want this goal to come into reality, you need to put time into it. How much time is up to you, everyone's life situation is different. Remember, small consistent blocks of time are all you need to make significant progress.

I am currently a stay at home parent to a very young child. This comes with its own set of advantages and drawbacks. I spend most days looking after my son but I’ve carved out a strategy that works well for my situation.

I broke down the different tasks of my projects and assigned them to each day of the work week. This way I know exactly what I should be working on each day.

My work day bounces from nap to nap but most of my free time is at night after the baby goes to sleep around 6:30pm.

5. Set Boundaries & Priorities

Now here’s where I fight back a little on “hustle culture.” Life is meant to be lived, not toiled away. Make sure you take time for yourself. Time spent taking care of your mind, body, and soul is not wasted. The well of creativity needs replenishing, so breaks are actually a very efficient use of your time.

And FOR PETE’S SAKE, GO TO BED. The work will wait for you. Your brain needs to sleep in order to process all the information it took in today. “Sleep on it” is indeed a real thing. You might wake up with a new idea on how to fix whatever ailed you yesterday.

For me, my family takes priority. My husband works during the week, so I try to keep the weekends open for fun family outings or cozy days inside.

Our children will only be young once. I am making it a point to enjoy the time we spend together instead of stressing about a “lack of free time.” For me, my children will always be my greatest work. On the hard days, I remind myself that there will be a time where I don’t have small hands clinging to me as I try to put the dishes away. They will be off on their own adventures and I will miss those small hands very dearly.

Some closing thoughts

Remember that your plan should be flexible. Just because you mess up doesn’t mean you need to give up entirely. Take a second to go back over the plan and change the things that aren’t working. Failure is only a temporary learning state. It is not something you need to carry with you.

So go forth and create some things we’re never seen before.

The only thing left to do is take the leap.

Good luck, I’m rooting for you.

Emma

*Guess that kid’s TV show. Of course it’s Bluey lol.

[toonpunk-game]

Road to 2nd Edition

Hey everybody. It’s been a long time since I’ve posted something here—because, simply put, there was no more that needed saying. Toonpunk went out the door, it was a very modest success, I posted some lore updates, and then I turned my attention towards other things. I’ve kept myself very busy the last few years in many ways, including a slew of game design projects—some of which already saw publication, and some of which are so ludicrously expensive that a modest success just isn’t gonna pay for em. I didn’t want to go back to kickstarter, so making money for those is most of what I’ve been doing.

Since the debut of the original toonpunk I made a few little content modules for my own use, in line with my original vision for a product line. And, starting about a year ago, I had a pretty shocking realization: as much as I loved it when it came out, the me of 2022, doesn’t like the game I made in 2017. There were a lot of little things that I felt were lacking, or insubstantial, or not very funny, or maybe a little clumsy mechanically. Plus, its politics stank with the naivite of a 21-year-old liberal who hadn’t yet discovered the golden path to Marxism. So, I started work on a simple project: integrate a lot of the modules I’d made for my own amusement, get some more art, rewrite the flavor text, and release the package as Toonpunk 2nd Edition. 2npunk, if you will.

I’ll be keeping a dev diary here to let you all know how it’s coming along. To fill you in on the new stuff. I’ll be posting the whole finished product here one day, and here’s the first piece of news: it’s going to be absolutely free at point of purchase, with a pay-what-you-want option if you just really feel like you gotta gimme some money. Maybe pessimistically—I say realistically—I’ve just given up on the idea that this game is ever gonna make a dime. But I think it can keep a lot of people entertained, so that’s what I’m gonna angle towards. More on that after the break.

So on that note I’d like to talk about one of the smaller changes I made, that’s also turned out to be one of the more expensive and creatively satisfying ones. In the original Toonpunk book, there’s a list of example player characters near the back. These include statlines and gear recommendations for people who want to play specific kinds of characters. It was—to put it generously—done with the resources I had at the time, and it shows.

Look at that. Very humdrum. There’s a fair bit of information there but it all kinds of blends together and it doesn’t really grab the imagination. One of the first things I learned, selling this book store-to-store across America, is that—simply put—people like pictures. For whatever reason I didn’t realize how important illustrations are to making an idea seem tangible in the reader’s imagination. So I knew, going into this,  I wanted to splurge a little bit and make the player character templates really sparkle. I wanted each one to have more space, more items, and most importantly more style. So, without further ado, here are 5 of the 9 that are included in the full game.

Each one is dripping with style and character. With almost all of these — notable exceptions being the field boss and the big guy  — I basically just handed the archetype description and a few notes (needs to be carrying this kind of weapon, needs to have this kind of build) to the artist and told them go apeshit. That’s why there’s all these diverse and exciting styles on display here. The only overriding artistic decision I came down really hard about is that I wanted them all to be in monochrome. I like grayscale art, a whole helluva lot; I think it lets a line artist’s work really shine. Plus, you can color it in however you want.

I’ll be back later to talk about some of the changes to character progression —which now involves managing your character’s growing reputation, to get a bunch of special perks. If you like what you’ve seen so far...stay tooned!

[alltimefail-sims]

Girl why the fuck one of the kids only got an air mattress in your build...

Not gonna lie, this ask made me laugh. You're quite the eagle eye! Honestly, Beau has an air mattress for more than one reason, and I'm not sure if this is a rhetorical question but I'll take any opportunity to explain the lore around my sims! 👍

Let's unpack this under the cut ↓

It's important to note that the Brokes are a family from TS2 who are known for struggling financially and being, well, broke. (You might know this, but just in case I wanted to start there).

That being said, for the sake of realism I wanted all their furniture to feel haphazardly mismatched, hand-made with scraps, inherited from family members, or purchased very cheap at second-hand stores or yard sales (maybe even found in the dump/on the side of the road). For storytelling purposes, I imagine Beau just aged up out of his toddler bed and they don't have the money to get him a whole "big kid" bed yet with Brandi having a recently dead husband (who provided their main source of income) and a whole new child she wasn't expecting (hence why their bed is a pack-and-play and she has the changing table set up in her closet due to the lack of space).

Their household funds are currently under $1,000. Brandi is a waitress and is making less than minimum wage, largely depending on tips to make up the difference. The air mattress is obviously not ideal or a long-term solution, but that's what she can afford right now so that is what Beau has. I mean, Dustin's bed frame is made out of scrap wood and even Brandi's bed is very cheap (it's probably the first "adult" purchase her and Skip made when they got married). Beds in the Sims AND in real life are actually pretty expensive and a luxury item for people in poverty (ESPECIALLY bed frames which serve no function other than looking nice) so all things considered, I just didn't think giving all of them super nice beds was realistic. 🤷‍♀️ I promise it wasn't just something I did randomly for like the outdoorsy aesthetic of his room (I wasn't aiming to give his room a set "theme" anyway).

I also want to note that any "nicer" items you'll see in the build - like Dustin's gaming system (albeit it's the less expensive one) - are also "storytelling choices" on my end. I don't have my priorities mixed up or anything, Dustin just has a history of petty crime/criminal friends, so I imagine some of the nicer items in his room to probably be stolen or bought with money he made in a less-than-ideal way. Or like, there might be an antique decor item here or there (like the ceramic chicken in the kitchen) and I see that as something Brandi inherited from her grandparent's own kitchen (and little things like that emphasize my personal headcanon that her and Skip have country roots).

TLDR; I'm detail crazy. Like detail insane. No (normal) person needs to care about or have an explanation for these menial decisions but I do. Trust me when I say that the choices I make in a build always have a reason, even if that reason seems stupid lol.

[judgeanon]

Plastic Skies - Model 2: Mirage III C

So on our last episode, I’d finished building, painting and decalling my first model. And for all its errors and imperfections, I was quite happy with it. So happy that I pretty much jumped into the next project: another cheap model, but something a bit more close to home. Unfortunately, this one’s construction would hit a major obstacle that tried my patience for the better part of a month.

The AMD Mirage III C, along with the Skyhawk and the Super Etendard, is one of the emblematic fighters of my country’s air force. A handful of them were purchased based on their impressive performance during the 1967 Six-Day War. The first batch of planes were delivered in 1972 and quickly became the backbone of the air force. More Mirage variants from Israel and Peru were bought through the 70s and early 80s, and in 1982 they participated in the Malvinas/Falklands/South Atlantic conflict. By all accounts, a quite beloved, if often obsolete plane.

So while I haven’t really confirmed this, I picture building a Mirage to be a rite of passage for national hobbyists akin to a Brit’s first Spitfire or a Yank’s first Mustang. A classic through and through. Still, I admit that wasn’t what made me decide to do one. The truth is that I didn’t feel ready to move to the big, expensive Revells and Academys and whatnot. I sort of still don’t. So when I found a little 1/100 Mirage made locally at an even cheaper price than the MiG-21, I pretty much jumped at it. Besides, the kit offered me an opportunity to try something new. Now that my paralyzing terror of paints had all but disappeared, I decided to take it a step further and paint a camo pattern.

So after consulting with the shop owner (and not-so-slyly showing him a picture of the finished MiG), I walked out with two more little boxes of paint, dark green and light brown, and a roll of masking tape which I’d learned online was very important for keeping paint out of places where I didn’t want it to be. I’d also heard about decal solutions, which sounded like the answer to my decal fear, but the shop owner said they didn’t have any and it should be arriving soon-ish. I didn’t mind. I expected the plane to be a quick and easy build that would leave me more time to focus on the camo, and I knew I’d have a very generous canvas thanks to the Mirage’s bigass delta wing. It was gonna be a good time, and for the most part, it was. Until it wasn’t.

I don’t have any close-ups, but due to an unholy combination of the kit’s cheapo production and my own inexperience when fitting the wing, the poor Mirage ended up with a massive gap between the main fuselage and its right wing. Just a big long visible hole, a perfectly straight valley that no amount of glue would cover. The left wing had been slightly luckier, but not by much, and also sported the unsightly hole. And on the underside, where the wings joined with the back end of the fuselage, more big holes were on full display. This wasn’t just some small imperfection to shrug off. This was some ugly shit. And I was not gonna have it.

Of course, my search for a solution immediately brought me to good ol’ plastic putty, a product that I knew existed in various forms but had never used. A couple of tutorials helped ease me into the idea of using it, so I was about to head back to the shop when I remembered the missing solutions. In a flash of caution, I sent them a message asking about them and about putty. The answer was the same for both. Still not here, should be coming in soon. It was a little frustrating to say the least, but I’d been slowly starting to peek into the hobby scene and its myriad of dealers around town, so I knew I had options.

What I didn’t have was money. Or, to be more precise, I didn’t have spending money. Due to some delay issues at work, I had to put a halt on pretty much all frivolous spendings to focus purely on rent and food and all that other boring stuff. And as ridiculous and self-absorbed as it sounds, I admit, it got pretty annoying to see the weeks go by and the model sit there drying up, its unseemly crevices in full display, its body still awaiting a second coat of paint. Eventually, the frustration got the better of me and I ended up buying a bottle of putty from an online seller along with some flexi sanders. After a while, the want had been dangerously inching closer to becoming a need.

Like everything else, the filling process was a learning experience. I know I probably used a little more than I should’ve, but once it was dry and the new coat of paint went over it, peace returned to my heart. Yeah, I could work with this. So I did. Using a combination of the solitary instructions page the model had come with and half a dozen photos found online, I set about to painting the best approximation of a Mirage camo that my clumsy wrist could figure out. And like all the best parts of building kits so far, once the initial intimidation had passed, it proved to be an incredibly fun, tremendously intuitive and terribly rewarding little task.

After all those weeks waiting around, it was a pleasure to see my little Mirage take shape like this, its horried issues safely hdiden under a coat of two different colors of paint. And with the undercarriage painted grey and the nose and thrusters black, I was using all of my paints so far. The nose gave me more than a little trouble, and for a sec I considered busting out the putty again, but after all that work, I was ready to be done with it and move to the final step.

Thing was, that decal sheet kinda terrified me. The last one I’d used had had eight decals total and they’d been big fuckers. This one had pretty much triple the size and sported some really weird things, like thin red lines that were supposed to go along the inner edges of the wings or bizarre double-level decals, where the idea was to place one first, let it dry, then place the other on top to complete an emblem or a warning sign. It was a bit much, especially given I still had no decal solution. So with that in mind, I set upon my decaling task feeling like this was going to look terrible no matter what I did. Mistakes were going to be made. And sure enough, they were.

But still, once it was over and the sheet was just a pile of little soggy shreds of paper, I had to admit... they looked cool. They looked almost annoyingly cool, giving the plane a bunch of extra shots of color. And as much as I messed up those thin red stripes, I was and still am very happy with how the roundels and flags came out. Imperfect as it was, this wasn’t some generic Mirage III. This was an Argie Mirage. An Argierage. And it was mine.

The finished plane earned another round of applause from my parents and brother, and while I’d like to say I didn’t need nor want their approval, I can’t deny it felt pretty damn good to hear the impression in their voices. A byproduct of all the hobbies I’d picked so far, like videogames or making comics, was that it was always hard to show them off to other people. Most of my finished comics are all in English, and even if they weren’t, my parents always showed a lot of support for me but not a lot of interest in them. But this was something they could grasp. This was something they could understand, even partake in a little. This was a Hobby the way they understood it.

My mother in particular commended me on the paintjob and my brother was surprised to hear I’d made it all freehand. After a long time of struggling to try and grab their interest when I described what I filled my idle hours with, it was just plain nice to have something I could easily and proudly show off like that, going into detail about all the different tools and colors I’d used. And the more I talked about that last part, the more I felt like I’d grown enough to take that next step. To aim for something bigger. I promised myself that, as soon as I got paid, there’d be no more cheapo little seven dollar kits.

And I made good on it. Sort of.

[whatsabriard]

Watch With Me: Hart to Hart 1x20

Episode Title: Cruise At Your Own Risk

Original Airdate: April 8, 1980

Why this one?: The return of the White Hat that was purchased in "You Made Me Kill You" and a white suit that is just *chef kiss*. Also this episode went in HARD on the banter. It's just an all around fun episode. This is also the last first season episode I will be recapping. Onward to season 2!

Favorite Quote: Max: What's he doing here? Jennifer: He had a proposition for me. Max: At this hour?

We start off with someone on a ship, coming through the porthole, to steal some jewelry. It's a blonde lady.

Then we kick off this entire thing with Jonathan using his car phone to call Jennifer and thank her for the good morning shag. Jennifer's like "it was my pleasure" and Cheeky Jonathan says "our pleasure". OK KIDS WE GET IT. Bless them.

Jennifer goes back to sleep because he wore her out.

Jonathan shows up at work grinning and waving at everyone.

But he shows up to a big mess at work because of the jewel thefts on the cruise ships.

Their empire line cruise ships are: The Desirée, The Josephine and the Marie-Louise.

Jonathan didn't file insurance claims on the thefts but paid for them out of pocket because he didn't want to get a reputation for being a cruise line where you get your shit stolen.

But now so much stuff has been stolen that the money is racking up.

$600,000 worth of jewels was stolen from The Desirée. You know what that means? Undercover assignment!

Jonathan tells Deanne to make reservations on The Desirée under the name of Carter Chamberlain. Carter is the last of the big spenders... and this time he'll be taking his mistress. "WHAT" Stanley yelps.

Also, Guido Della Fortuna will be on-board.

Max finds Jonathan at home - Jennifer's just barely out of bed and still in her robe. It really was a good morning, wasn't it?

*insert favorite quote here*

you know what. what the hell even is an industrialist. I use the phrase like I know what he even is but I don't.

Max isn't sure he wants to go on a cruise because deep water.

on the way to the airport, jonathan presents jennifer with a case of "Cartier" jewels. Irving Cartier - fakes, the best money can buy.

they take the jet to Puerto Vallarta.

LOOK AT THESE SUITS. please excuse Jonathan's stupid ascot. but jennifer's cleavage goes all the way to the southern hemisphere

Max is wearing that ascot correctly.

hey. what even is an ascot. I use a lot of words I don't even know.

the like...activity director? of the ship says a lot of stuff about safes and stuff, but Jonathan likes to keep his valuables out where he can admire him. He looks right at Jennifer's bosom when he says that.

so does this guy, with his binoculars. They play it off like he's looking at her jewels but he's not.

Activity director guy then introduces his wife who is ... in charge of something else on the ship. I'm not really paying attention. But it's the blonde from the intro scene - the thief! She's his wife.

Oh, I should say that J&J are using exaggerated southern accents.

In the stateroom Jonathan is checking out the safe. It would be easy to break into.

Jonathan always asks Jennifer to check his bowtie and then he makes a grab for her and she's always so shocked. His tie is always perfect, of course hes gonna cop a feel girl!

Anyway, the cabin room doors have special keys made with special machines so they can't be duplicated.

So the only other way to get into the room is the window - the porthole. Which is small and the sheer face of the ship is out there. Not a very easy entrance but possible, as we saw in the opening.

They're still debating the ways someone could get into the room when Jennifer flashes the bling.

"Enough honey to attract the bees." Oh who knows. They may not be able to see the honey for the flowers. "Awww, that's the cutest thing you've ever said to me, sugar. Well shall we?"

The cruise director guy asks if his wife saw the icing on Chamberlain's cupcake. He thinks her jewelry is very pricey and he wants it.

His wife reminds him that they said one hit on each ship. They're going to get caught.

Her husband is like "you know I don't like you taking these chances" but he wants her to steal them so they can retire.

he has a very strange accent.

in the bar, J&J see Max as Guido and then Cruise Director and his wife show up and they all drink together. Dom Perignon, 1963.

they discuss jennifer's necklace, because that makes sense.

at dinner, guido is meeting a new lady friend because Max has MAD game.

on the dance floor, Jonathan is dancing with the blonde wife and Jennifer is at the table with cruise director.

he tells her he's more of a hotelier brought in to smooth out the rough edges.

his wife's name is pamela. I'll try to remember that.

Part of their job is to fraternize with the passengers, but it's easier with beautiful people like the Harts. It's a line, but it's true.

Pamela asks Jonathan how they spend their days and the little shit says "just about the same way we pass our nights."

Cruise Director wants to know what "carter" does for a living and Jennifer says he lives off of one investment - marriage. His first two wives were really rich.

jonathan notices the guy who had the binoculars on Jennifer's rack kind of skulking around.

Cruise Director invites Jonathan to shoot skeet the next day while Jennifer is going to Pamela's exercise class.

The harts dance and talk and Jonathan sends Jennifer back to the cabin, hoping the skulking dude will follow her. He advises her to let the skulker do "anything" and when she objects, he says "almost anything".

The skulker does indeed follow her to the cabin then puts a piece of tape over the lath of the door - that will keep it from locking.

Once jennifer leaves the cabin, this dude searches the room and finds the jewels! He uses a jewelers loop to investigate a piece, finds a watch inscribed with "hart to hart" and then leaves the room and removes the tape.

The harts come back just in time to see him leaving down the hall. They follow and then there's a chase. The skulker is running but the Harts are walking, which is just weird. I guess they decide it's a boat - how far can he go?

they find the guy hiding in a lifejacket box. He's an investigator with the insurance company - they carry the cruise line's insurance.

He calls Jennifer "Mrs Hart" so he knows who they are.

the boys are comparing peens shooting skeet.

The cruise director, Patrick that's his name, wants to bet. So Jonathan agrees.

But then he asks the guy to pull FOUR clay thingies and gets them all because he's a goddamn badass.

Patrick is like "fuuuuck".

Over at the exercise class, this bitch is doing the uneven bars, which seems dangerous on something that's moving but whatever.

The important part is she's a gymnast. World class.

Max and his ladyfriend are at a dance class, where the instructors are wearing clothes I don't understand at all. What is this cowboy had and gold boots over leotards?

The harts are relaxing on the deck but they're not dressed for the pool. What kind of tan...

They are still talking. about how the thieves might have gotten into the cabins.

Jennifer is like - they came through the porthole. They can't come through the keyhole or up the drain...

"The other two would be easier" I don't know...not if you're a world class gymnast.

The insurance guy comes over and hatches a plan - he wants Jennifer to wear a replica of the necklace that the couple has already stolen from the Desirée - see what happens kind of thing.

And now we've made it to my favorite scene. Jennifer is in the shower and she does NOT want to shower alone.

Jennifer: Darling, it's wet in here. Jonathan: Do you want your raincoat? Jennifer: There's not even a lifeguard on duty! Jonathan: Don't go in the deep end. Jennifer: *screams mildly* Ahh, there's a shark's fin. Do you think it's a great white? Jonathan: Don't worry, darling, if you don't bother him he won't bother you. Jennifer: Well maybe this is a job for the captain! Jonathan: I think it's more a job for the first mate (gets into the shower and closes the curtain) Jennifer: Hi sailor. Aren't you out of uniform?

Back in the dining/bar area Jennifer is wearing the replica necklace and Patrick notices right away.

Patrick excuses himself and the insurance guy follows him.

Max follows the guy following Patrick, but his lady-friend kind of delays him for a few minutes.

Patrick goes to check his little hidey hole for the necklace and of course it's there!

But then insurance guy smacks him on the head and takes it. double cross. after double cross.

Max and the insurance guy come back into the bar, but Patrick is still missing.

Insurance guy says Patrick gave him the slip but Patrick shows up looking beat to hell. He wants his necklace - he thinks Jonathan hit him and took it.

Patrick says he has a gun pointed at jennifer and demands Jonathan's wallet, which of course gives away their identity.

Patrick still thinks they have the necklace - they don't and his wife confirms they haven't left the table all night.

The four of them go on walkabout through the ship, I guess to find the necklace. Max follows...

They end up in the engine room - Patrick STILL thinks they have the necklace.

Max shows up with a pipe and puts it in Patrick's back like a gun. Jonathan grabs Patrick's actual gun and Pat finally finally believes the Harts don't have his stupid necklace.

Insurance guy shows up with his own gun and takes the gun jonathan took from patrick. another double cross. Is this a triple cross?

insurance guy wants to steal the necklace himself and kill all of them. so he can retire.

enter big fight scene and chase through the engine room.

Following the gymnast, Jennifer falls in a hole and she's hanging from a rope over pitch black. I guess it's the belly of the ship? It can't be water. The gymnast tells Jennifer to hold on - she's going to scale down to save Jennifer.

Jonathan also comes to her rescue, after he subdued the baddies of course.

In the end, Max came clean to his lady-friend that he's not a wealthy italian but she loves him anyway.

Jonathan remarks that they may have to face the reality that Max may leave the nest some day. Awww.

[xamassed]

⟬ @bucketfullofocs​ ⟭

[Aya @ Mammon] How they managed to keep it a secret from him, Aya wasn't sure. It was a miracle, for sure. Sarah spearheading the operation helped, likely. But they were printed and soon would be in the hands of demons in the Devildom. Aya had been hesitant at first -what if he didn't approve? Sarah was positive though that not only would he love it, he would be 100% over the moon, ego-too-big-to-fit-in-the-house happy. So Aya went to find the demon in question, a thin paperback book in her hands.

"Mammon? I, um, I have something I want to show you!" Without teasing or preamble, Aya offers the book to him. Gold Rush, A Zine Of The Second Born it read, art of him on the cover. "So, um, you can blame Sarah. But, um, we, um, maybe got together and made a Zine? A, um, a fan art magazine, basically - a, um, a lot of artists helped out! The, um, the proceeds are going to, um, to an account to help start a fund for Mira. Only, um, only Sarah and I know that, though. But, um, but it sold really well! So, um, so I wanted to give you a copy, now that, um, that we have the prints in."

“Yeah?” She was given a side-glance at first, but the moment he saw her hold something out, the whole of his attention was on her. He stopped slouching on the sofa, D.D.D tossed into the seat beside him now that both hands were occupied.

There on the front of the little book was his own visage, perfectly depicted with a cheeky grin and a hand pushing up at a lopsided crown. He was surrounded by blacks and golds, and he looked happy — not that he never was, but it was strange and exciting to see himself drawn so fondly.

“So there’s nothin’ but art’a me in here? Seriously?” He flipped through it, his expression of cockiness and confidence gradually melting away into awe and sentiment with each and every portrait he laid eyes on. Some were cute, some were gorgeous, others were full-on, one -page comics that flawlessly depicted an average day for him. Each one felt him breathless and wondering if he deserved recognition like this. He craved it, was greedy for it, but surely there weren’t this many people that loved him.

He was scummy, selfish, a little dumb and rough around the edges, yet these artists spend their precious time drawing him soft and smiling and in his element.

Not only that, but the money from purchases would go to the little girl that he had become annoyingly fond of. He wasn’t told how much they’d earned, but it hardly mattered, so long as it meant Mira was provided for. Her happiness meant more to him than he was willing to let on, though the way he teared up and sniffled may have given that away.

“Both’a ya went through all’a this for me an’ Mira? I knew you two were crazy, but I didn’t know you’d go this far! Look at all’a this art! Couple of my brothers are in there, I saw ‘em, but it’s so much of me! I ain’t seen my face all over a magazine like this in, uh. . . ever, I guess. I’ve had front pages, but this is way better!”

He flipped through again, and again, and again. He enjoyed the art and effort four more times before he jumped over the back of the sofa and nearly tackled Aya in a hug. He wrapped his arms around her tight as he could, face buried in her shoulder before he lifted her, spun her, and refused to let her feet touch the ground.

“Ya love your big brother that much? I knew it! I’m gonna go find Sarah after this, but then I’m gonna show this t’my brothers! There’s no way they can say I ain’t the favorite now!”