#The moment i heard his voice i had this huge gender envy

[haysgrove]

Stardust Cookie is everything i want to be. His gender. I want it.

[minzart]

His trusted collector

Pantalone x reader

childhood friends, gender neutral reader, debt collector reader, no warnings worth mentioning yet, found in my drafts and got the energy to finish this part 2! Still have the notes for part 3 so maybe it would one day see the light

Also on Ao3

(1) (2) His best investment

He thinks of you, and how you became friends

He watches you go, your back straight, head held high, such a contrast to the child he met years ago. A swell of pride finds itself in his chest, you were one of his precious investments, and what an investment you are, he will admit that he didn't expect you to still be with him for so long, but you surprised him as you always did.

Pantalone thinks back to your talk, you were exhausted, that much was a given, dark circles clear as day in your eyes, yet you were so energetic still, he envies that part of you a little, not that he would let you know of course, pride is a funny thing after all, nor that he missed your voice, such a small detail but it's true, it was your strongest asset, you molded it to what needed to be accomplished, fear, excitement, happiness, pity… that and your strength, it's been a while since he saw you work, but he knows, you are alive after all, and your quests are delivered almost flawlessly.

"Shit" he muttered to himself, small legs trembling from the cold, even with the Sun at its peak it didn't bring any warmth to the street, and to the boy with shabby garments it meant more suffering, not that it was anything new. What was unusual was his irritation, you were proving to be a pain in his ass to trick.

Plan 3 had failed, and 1 to 2 proved to be a waste of his time, since you didn't even recognize him, annoying, incredibly annoying, an annoying bug he's trying to catch in an intricate web that you were proving to be not worth the trouble for, the rumors he heard about you were being put to test every single time he laid eyes on you, good fighter, pff, you weren't even a good runner to begin with.

But, the little boy took a sharp breath, he needed allies, now more than ever, since one of his schemes is proving to be coming back to bite his ass, he needed a "friend", a strong friend, to be able to live another day if those brutes caught him desprepared. He knew that if he got caught once then all respect he had built to himself in the small amounts of talks and promises he made to other weak minded fools would be blown to the winds and become more trouble than he was capable of dealing alone.

That's why he needed a brute, strength, a temporary allie even, just for one day, but he hopes to gain your favor for more time however drastic times need drastic methods, he was not above begging… for now at least, one day he won't ever beg again and that will be the day he can finally get back to every single stupid bastard that even dared to treat him like garbage.

“Please just this time!” he throws himself in his knees, blocking your path “it's not a trick I need your help! Please!”

You huf, equilibrating the boxes you were carrying again “can't you see I’m busy?! Move!”

The hagged boy grabs your leg “Only if you promise to come with me and help!”

“stop that you're gonna make me break those and I don't have money to repay that old man!”

“I'm not letting go”

“yes you are” you shake your leg, the boy doesn't budge “it's your problem that you got involved with a prick”

“I gave you an apple!”

“I knew you were gonna bring this back- see that's why I didn't accept your generous offer to begin with-”

“you are my only friend please!”

“we are what?!” you stop, huge eyes locking with his and for a moment, the little boy cheeks burn pink, then he smiles bright, sweating bullets.

“exactly! We are friends! Aren't we? And Friends… help each other!” he cringes at the word, he want an ally, not a friend stupt kid brain slip of though, gluping he weakly hoped you would still agree with his bold assumptions without much fuss.

“since when?” you tilt your head to the side, puzzled expression matching his, internally he screams in despair.

“since… the… apple?”

“since the apple”

“yup”

“... how…?” you put your boxes down, crossing your arms.

“... friends… always hang out? I have been hanging out with you what do you mean?”

“bugging me isn't hang out”

“isn't it tho?” he let's go of you leg now that your attention was all on him, getting up bit never letting you out of sight he starts to bluff “don't your friends annoy you too? Everybody knows it's a love language-”

“I don't have friends” the archons smiled at him today, it seems, blessed be the insufferable fate.

“yes you do” he points at himself “welcome to the friendship distribution sistem we are like cats”

“that's bullshit-”

“no eyes!” a harsh new voice joins the echoing alley, he recognizes this brat, and you do too.

“shit” he turns around but two new boys block the path, he is stuck.

“you picked a fight” you grab him by his collar “with the richest prick in this town?!”

“It was an accident”

“was it?” he sees a hand appear in your shoulder, a cold smile gracing the lips of the most irritating older boy he has ever had the displeasure of interacting “ one hands hardly are that deep in someone pocket when it's about good intentions”

The boy tugs a lock of you hair behind your ear “is this your friend?”

You lock eyes with him, there's fear there, he knew, you just got a new gig, carring boxes full of spoiled fruits to the local orphanage that the merchants pay you two coins worth of labor, cheap and drastically underpaid and yest it was your first job, if you picked a fight with this boy, in his behalf, you would never see the color of money again, maybe not even the day.

It was a gamble, his life alone or dragging someone with him, a sliver of chance to getting out alive if he was good at faking a beg for your life, but then… then if you ever survived whatever happened to you today, you would never forgive him, he knew, he felt time stop, a decision must be made and things would change.

In the streets sticking together was as worse as being alone, but a companion even if for a brief moment could save one's life. He took a breath, lungs full of new fresh air for what he assumed would be the last time, and invested in you.

“no”

The older boy shoved you aside “good, less messy this way” and started to corner him.

The two other took position, grabbing his hands and shoving him in the ground “now be quiet”

He didn't even heard your steps getting further away as a boot meet his head, over and over and over.

It felt like days, kicks and punches and spit, blood didn't even had a taste anymore in his mouth, maybe he didn't even had tooth anymore. But finally it stoped, he was thrown in the ground, he could hear shouts, there was someone besides him, vision turvy, head sleepy, he almost didn't recognize the rich boy in the ground, passed out, a loud clang of metal hitting the ground made him try to look forward, the only thing he remembers before the black, was yours overused shoes.

When he awakes, he feels awful, head troubling, and the bumps aren't helping… bumps? Oh, yeah he can't feel the ground… he can't feel the ground? But he sure sees it passing by fast, then he feels an abrupt curve, someone is panting hard, it isn't him, he's sure, his lugs hurt. Then he finally looks to his side, and realizes, you are there.

Carrying him and running as fast as you could, to were he doesn't know nor care, but you are warm, very comfortable, so comfortable he could sleep.

The second time his eyes open, he could hear the rain, drops getting in the broken window of the house he doesn't recognize, there's a blanket in him, bandages clumsily put around his bruises, bloody water in a bow next to his feet, someone had cleaned him, and then you, curled around a tinny beaten down pillow by his other side.

That day, he thinks he finally understood what friendship was, and by the end of the week, rumors of a murder surrounded the city, the victim? A poor rich boy that was lost in a alley, playing with his friends. Pantalone couldn't be more happy that you were as smart as you were strong.

Back to the present, the baker chuckles to himself, what a desperate little boy he was, someday he still doesn't understand why you came back for him that day, sure what you have now is all consequence of that one act but still, you couldn't know that in the future that weak little boy would become such a powerful man. You must have pitied him, or his speech of friendship had worked, either way you did save his life, and builded the base for his empire, he couldn't have been more lucky.

Countless crimes committed, countless nights spent in each other's company, and yet he still feels you at only his arms length. Strictly professional even after years, your best and worse trait, after years of partnership, he still has little to no idea how your mind works. And it frustrates him, because he can easily command you and you will obey, no questions asked, kill, rob, treated, but then he asks for a match of mahjong and you… how long has it been since you both had anything to talk about that wasn't work anyway?

Has he become only a boss to you now? A small realization breaks him, work wasn't news to you both, in truth you both endorsed each other workaholic tendencies, it wasn't the first time he has noticed it, you reported he gave you another, you came from a job he sent you in another, he goes to interrogate, you guard the door, it's an old tale now, a song and dance you both knew to heart.

“I missed you”, you had said, he hadn't expected it, not by a mile, it was a slip of his tongue that greeting, and yet you answered in a way so raw it floored him at the moment. These memories he though were long buried still felt like yesterday, you little hands firming him in your back, the pain he felt that day a mere ghost to your firm hand in his, you name rolling out of your mouth, eyes locked in his as the world presented his first contract “that's my name, and I accept your friendship”

Friendship… at the time a good title, but now… he took the pen you were playing with mere moments ago, your hand treating it like a blade, passing from finger to finger, graciously, like nothing was a challenge, he writes with it instead from now on, not before drinking the rest of the tea left behind in the cup you poured for yourself during your long report, droplets still slowly falling down from were you lips touched it, and now his too.

[simpfortheseven]

Hey I hope you're doing well please take care of your health and also feel free to not do this request if it feels like too much but if you don't mind can you please do a hc for the om brothers when mc is sleep deprived and needs the bros to cuddle her to fall asleep? Thank you so much!❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Obey Me: MC who is sleep deprived, so the bros cuddling them to get them to sleep/MC asks for a nap and cuddles

Yall know what time it is. Its time for me to finally answer at least one of my Asks that have been sitting here for a long long time. Im sorry for thw wait^^ I finally got into therapy, So im feeling a lot better💖 Im also sorry this took so long, my school recently went online due to ✨rona✨ so I forgot to answer this. Anyways! I wrote about a gender neutral MC for this and there are no triggers except lots of cuddling and soft touches.

Did this for the lovely @luminouslydark ^^

Lucifer

After getting done with his work at around 1am (early for him but ya know), He went by your room to make sure you didnt go to the attic check on you

He found you tossing and turning, which surprised him a little. Hadnt he sent you to bed a few hours ago?

You heard him open the door, and looked at him softly. "MC, youre supposed to be asleep."

"I cant sleep," You said softly. "I.. Can you hug me? Just until I can fall asleep?"

The dark haired demon was surprised. You were asking him for cuddles? He wasnt normally asked for that.

He didnt complain, however. He went over to you, wrapping his arms around you. His hands found their place around your waist, gently holding you against his chest. You could hear his heart beating, soft and rhythmic. His warm embrace and the soft beating of his heart eventually lulled you to sleep.

Mammon

This man, oh boy.

We all know he bursts into your room whenever he wants. Well one night, he decides its a great idea to run into your room at 1am to talk about how great it would be to make money off of 'those dumb videos humans are always watchin'!'

When he runs in, it scares the hell out of you (hA get it). You jump up, which makes Mammon jump to.

"Hey, Human! Youre supposta be asleep!"

"Thats hard to do when crazy people like you always run in!"

"Jeez, ok ok. im sorry,"

"It will take more than an apology to make it up to me." You open your arms, looking up at him tiredly.

Lets just say that he went r e d. This man, hes just a blushing awkward mess. "Uh- Well, I mean, of course you wanna cuddle with The Great Mammon!"

He sat next to you wrapping his arms around you all flustered. His heart was rapid, which made you smile. You let your eyes close. The avatar of greed however stayed awake, not caring how tired he was. He wanst going to miss a moment of holding you.

Levi

The purple haired Avatar of Envy tended to play video games late into the night. Of course, he found a new game on Shteam (i dont know what its called there), which means he had to download it on his phone and to run to your room to tell you about it (You got the yucky otaku to leave his room, Congrats!)

He burst in the door, "MC!! WAKE UP!!" You were already awake, so you sat up. Hw was a little surprised you were awake. "GUESS WHAT??"

"What is it, Levi?" You asked curiously.

"A NEW GAME CAME OUT, ITS GOT -bla bla game stuff-!!!"

"Oh that's awesome, Levi!" You smiled at him sleepily.

"Right!" He smiled happily. "I want to play it with you, can i?"

"Hm.. I'm really tired, Levi. But you can cuddle me and play at the same time if you want?" You knew you wouldn't be able to get him to cuddle if you said it was because you couldn't sleep.

He awkwardly sat on your bed, your head finding a place on his chest as he "played his game". In reality, he was just internally screaming.

Satan

Getting the avatar of wrath to cuddle you to sleep was easy enough. You knew he would most likely be up late reading, so as you carefully climbed over his mountains of books to reach his bed, you sat on his bed.

This shook the blonde demon enough to make him look up from his book.

"MC? What are you doing?"

"Satan, i'm super tired and can't sleep.. Could you cuddle me?" You asked quietly.

"Ah," He nodded, scooting over a little and patting the space next to him. "You need to sleep, MC. Its imporant to your health."

You laid with him, letting him wrap his arms around you. He kept reading ad you slept, his soft heartbeat helping you drift off to sleep.

Asmo

Spa day had alwags been a great way to relax for the two of you, spending time with you always helped Asmodeous relax. But maybe you started relaxing to hard.. You started to fall asleep while doing face masks.

"MC!" the strawberry blonde shook your shoulder. You bolted awake. "No wonder you looked so dreadful! You havent been sleeping, have you?"

"I havent been sleeping well, no," You said quietly.

"Then this calls for some beauty rest!" He scrubbed off the face masks before making you lay down in his huge bed. He of course laid down with you, cuddling you and playing soft binaural beats to help lull you into a deep rest.

Beel and Belphie

The oranged haired demon had (once again) snuck to the kitchen. You had wandered down there looking for him, part of your tasks with lucifer and you could always count on Beel to sneak you a piece of whatever you ate. Soon enough, you saw him eating out of the fridge.

"Beel?" You went over. He didnt turn, just handed you a slice of pizza. "Cmon, you know Lucifer will kill us both if you eat all of it."

"I know," He said, turning to face you. "Im just so hungry.."

Before you could speak, a voice chimed in from the doorframe. "You guys are to loud," Belphie was there, cow pillow in hand.

"Oh sorry," Beel said. "MC, lets go eat in my room." you nodded, Beel leading you towards his room. It was only after you were already laying down did you see Belphie had followed. You tilted your head, but Belphie just plopped down ontop of you. Beel put his arm around the two of you, eating his pizza quietly.

After you finished your slice, you could hear Belphie soft snoring.

"You should sleep. You look tired. And dont worry, I'll get Belphie up in the morning." Beel said, nodding at you. Being sandwiched between them, you didnt have much of a choice. You slowly drifted off, Belphies snoring lulling you to sleep.

-----

sorry this took so long and they kinda suck ;-;

[btsmutimagines]

Just Loosen Up (M)

A/N: This is a complete whim and I DON’T CONDONE THE ACTIONS IN THIS AND DON’T RECOMMEND ANYONE TRY THIS

Word Count: 2.5k

Warnings: Drug use (MDMA/ Ecstasy)

“So, run that by me again?”

“I think we should take some ecstasy and talk things through. Minyoung told me it worked for her and Hayoung, maybe it’ll work for us.”

“And you think I would agree to this because...?”

“What, you don’t want to? Babe, you’re always talking about needing to communicate and I’m shitty with feelings so maybe a few pills could loosen me up.”

“Then, why do I have to take some?”

“It’s gender equality, babe. Equal opportunity for both of us.” You rolled your eyes at his explanation, a stupid grin breaking on his face.

Your boyfriend, Jungkook just came home with this crazy idea and you were pretty sure he lost his mind.

He was right about one thing: the two of you have been going through a rough patch in your relationship. He chalked it up to living together for so long, but you think it’s the lack of communication between the two of you.

You worked all day, getting home when he leaves to work out and he comes home to just crash on the bed. You barely manage to kick his sweaty ass out of bed and take a shower. He would offer to shower with you, but you just want to sleep.

You can’t remember the last time the two of you sat down out the dining table that you spent weeks looking for when you first moved in together and eat a meal with him. Drinking the wine that you both loved, and he would make lame jokes while you try to eat. Staring at each other quietly while he smiles at you before he brushes that pesky hair away from your face.

Or when he would cuddle up with you on the couch while he voices over a really shitty movie, making you crack up and you couldn’t even remember the actual lines without thinking about him?

Even that one time he accidentally wore your yoga pants and kept trying to ‘work out’ in front of you. The image of his shaped ass is permanently etched in your mind.

Where did those times go?

“Y/N?”

“Huh? Sorry.” You looked away from him, slightly embarrassed by how out of it you were.

“You know what? Fuck it.” You shrugged, maybe it’ll do some good. Plus, you’re on vacation so you don’t have anywhere to be anyways.

“Awesome.”

“Awesome.” You parroted back to him, him biting his lip. He placed his hands deep into his pockets, his thumbs between front belt loops of his jeans.

“When are we doing this?”

“Shit, right. I need to go buy some.”

“Seriously?”

“I wanted to run it by you first, I can’t just walk around with a baggie of ecstasy exactly.”

“Doesn’t sound like you were confident that you could convince me.”

“Babe, you know that I had a complete shot in the dark with you.”

“How are you so sure?”

“Are we really getting into this right now? After what we just agreed on?” You felt your cheeks burning, not even realizing how silly you were being.

It’s not exactly easy to say ‘Hey, baby, let’s do some ecstasy and talk about our feelings’ without being tossed into the back of a cruiser.

“Sorry.”

“We can get through this, I promise.” He kissed your head before leaving. You stood there a few moments before he opened the door again.

“Forgot my keys…” He grabbed them off the table sheepishly before leaving again. You rolled your eyes, the one time he seemed kind of cool.

He came back with a bag and you opened your eye to look at him.

“Alright.” He proceeded to dump the content of his bag on the coffee table, revealing a bunch of snacks and you sat up.

“Snacks?”

“Minyoung told me that you can get really hungry after taking some.”

“Babe, I think it’s actually thirst, not hunger.”

“Oh. We got water.”

“The more I think about it, the more of a whim it seems.”

“Can you just have a little faith in me? For once?” He muttered, you looked up at him and he cleared his throat.

“Okay, I told Minyoung to check on us in a few hours. I only bought enough for one dose, so we don’t overdose or something…”

“Is there anything else we need to prepare?”

“This feels like Katniss and Peeta before they try to eat Nightshade in the Hunger Games. I’m totally Katniss by the way.”

“Weren’t you the one pursuing me in this relationship?”

“Mhm, I don’t remember that.”

“Uh-huh.” He grinned again, that stupid smile of his. He placed a pill in your hand, him holding one up.

“Cheers?”

“They’re pills.”

“Are you going to leave me hanging?” You rolled your eyes, tapping your pill against his before swallowing it at the same time as him.

“How long until it kicks in?”

“Half an hour.”

“What do we do until then?”

“Wanna make out?”

“Shut up.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───                              ─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

You could feel a shift in your mood, knowing that a half an hour must have passed by now and you looked at Jungkook.

“Babe?”

“It’s so fucking cold.”

“Baby, it’s summer.”

“Then, why is the temperature so low? Did you tamper with the thermostat?”

“We don’t have a thermostat, Kook.”

“Fuck.” You wrapped your arms around him, hoping that would help and he seemed a bit tense.

“Can you tell me how you’re feeling? Besides cold, obviously?”

“Can I get a blanket first?”

“Fine.” You got up, stumbling a little and trying to keep your balance while you got to the linen closet to pull out a blanket and walk back to the living room. Jungkook was rubbing his hands together as if it were below 0 in the room but you didn’t bother to point that out.

“Here.”

“Come in with me.” You did so, him pulling you closer and you sighed.

“Ready now.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Okay, let’s talk about us. I feel like we don’t see each other anymore. I know we live together but it’s like we are roommates that share a bed and occasionally has sex. I don’t want that.”

“But you give the best cuddles.”

“Kook, that’s beside the point.”

“What’s the point, then?”

“We don’t see each other enough.”

“I’m seeing you right now. Wait.” He closed his eyes, “Now, we’re not seeing each other.”

“Kookie, focus.”

“Shit, I’m sorry, babe. What were you saying?”

“That this is a bad idea.”

“What’s a bad idea? Making a food printer?”

“What?”

“You know, it’s like a printer that makes meals. Instead of a picture of a hamburger, it makes a whole ass hamburger that you can eat and shit. I think that’s a good idea.”

“That’s the most coherent thing you’ve said so far.”

“Thanks, Baby.” He sloppily kissed your cheeks and you shook your head. You got all the right effects while he’s probably on a bad trip.

“Pretty baby. What did you eat to get so pretty?” He poked your cheek as he said this, moving your cheek around with his finger.

“Not different than you.”

“Aw, can I be as pretty as you?”

“You already are, Kookie.”

“Cookie? Do you have cookies?��� You rolled your eyes, so he wasn’t wrong about him being hungry. You reached for the snacks on the table, Jungkook still holding onto you and you handed him the box.

“Thank god, I’m starving.”

“Eat it up.” You watched him happily munch on the box, making sure he wouldn’t inhale the box as well. He tossed the box across the box, hitting the wall before dropping to the ground.

“You’re like a toddler.”

“Am not.”

“You’re only proving my point.”

“Looks like the only effect the pills had was making you meaner.”

“I’m mean?”

“Yeah, sometimes you make me feel so stupid. Watching you read all those huge textbooks and learn all those complex ass theories while I’m some stupid gym rat.”

“You’re not-”

“Don’t act like it’s not true. I don’t have anything to offer you except this amazing body.”

“Do you think I just like you because you’re hot?”

“What else is there?”

“Are you out of your mind- Never mind, don’t answer that.” You stopped yourself before continuing,

“Every new thing you try, you’re somehow a fucking prodigy at it. Everyone we meet gravitates to you like you’re the centre of the universe or something. Even though you can be shy, there’s just something about you that makes people want to find out more. I don’t think you know how much I envy that.”

“Envy? Me?”

“I’m some frigid stuck up bitch compared to you. I wonder why you even like me sometimes.”

“How could I not like you? You don’t baby me like everyone else, seeing you work hard makes me want to work ten times harder. You’re so determined in everything you do and you always get your shit done. You stand up for yourself and won’t take shit for anyone. You’re a fucking badass and I love it.”

“I am?”

“Not only that, you have a soft and caring side to you that only reveal to me. It’s just as beautiful as your badass side.”

“I’ve never heard you say that to me.”

“Just never got the chance.”

“What are we doing?”

“Huh? I thought we were having a moment here? A tête à tête, if you will.”

“No, I mean why can’t we say shit like this when we’re not high?”

“Because we’re two dumbos.”

“Two? I didn’t know you had a twin.”

“So, you got jokes, huh?” You laughed, Jungkook joining you. Your eyes glanced at the bobbing of his Adam’s apple, the sight oddly arousing to you.

Why is he so hot?

“I guess I’m the funny one in this relationship now.” You straddle him, pressing yourself closer to him. The subtle outline of his dick rubbed against you through your tights.

“I beg to differ.”

“I don’t remember that being a discussion.” You leaned in close to his lips, your hot breath definitely hitting against his skin. Could he tell how much you were burning up right now?

“Oh yeah.”

“Are you still cold, baby? I know just the thing to warm you up.”

“What if I overheat? What are you going to do to me?” You resisted the urge to flick his forehead, there goes his ability to concentrate. He looked at you anxiously, you cupped his cheek in response.

“Do you really want me to say it? Or should I show you?” You grind against him, hoping it would give a hint.

“Why did you- oh, you mean that?”

“Mhm-mmm. What do you say?”

“Let’s get rid of the blanket, shall we?” He tossed the blanket across the floor, landing on your large plant and you laughed.

“Nice shot.”

“Shut up.”

“Make me.” You retorted. He quickly got up, you naturally gripping onto him and his hands placed under your thighs.

“Jesus.” He made his way to the bedroom, taking a few stumbles. You weren’t sure it was out of eagerness or because of ecstasy, it didn’t matter though

“Yeah, I know I’m godlike.”

“Fuck off.”

“Rather fuck you instead, though.”

“You’re still a smart ass when you’re high, huh?”

“Don’t act like it doesn’t turn you on.” He sat down on the bed, lying down and you lied on top of him.

“Au contraire.” You whispered while your fingers traced his jaw before he kissed you.

It felt like a rush as he pressed his lips against yours, the feeling of euphoria coursing through your veins. His hands slipped under your tights, giving a firm squeeze.

Your mind began to drift, allowing yourself to drown in the sensation of his hot lips. His sweet saliva homogenized with yours as his tongue entered yours. His teeth caught yours, giving sensual bites with a small tug. The sloppiness of his wet kiss was lost on you as your hands fumbled with his jeans.

“Why are there still clothes on you?”

“I could say the same.” You said, reaching for his shirt and fling it across the room. He slid your tights down, murmuring curses as they struggled down your legs.

He flipped you over, getting up to take off his jeans with your eyes raking in his body.

You took off your shirt as he finally took off your tights with your panties. He spread your legs, his finger taking a quick swipe.

“C’mon.”

“Use your words.”

“Asshole.”

“Maybe next time.” You glared at him; you knew that he was probably smirking.

“I want your tongue on my clit while you stretch me out with your fingers, Jungkook.” You spat out.

You moaned, his fingers quickly curling up inside you and his tongue pressed against your pussy. He timed his thrusts with the flick of his tongue, pleasure intensifying with each time.

“So fucking wet for me, hmm.” He grunted, briskly removing his fingers from inside you. You rested on your elbows, looking up at him and he leaned over to give you a quick kiss. A hand haphazardly began to stroke his cock, barely wrapping around his girth and he replaced your hand with his own. The quiet snap of rubber was followed by the infuriating rubbing of his head against you.

“Quit the teasing.”

“Never.”

“You’re such a d-” He slid inside of you before you could finish, beginning to work his hips as he thrusts into you. How could you forget the way his cock stretches you out? The titillating way his shaft rubbed against your walls, the muted smacking of skin when his hips met yours. His hot hands pressed against your shapely thighs, leaving imprints on them.

“Fuck.”

“Like that?”

“Fucking harder.” You keen, gripping the sheets as he complied. His grip grew stronger, knowing that you were going to bruise later but all you cared about was the way he slammed his cock into you. He moved one hand, kneading your breast while his fingers pinched your hardened nipple. You mewled; a decadent wave of bliss washed over you.

“Just like that, god, fuck.” He groaned, his thrusts sputtering, and his finger crudely rubbed against your clit. You let out a shrill whine, hitting your climax a few seconds later. He stopped thrusting a few moments later, the sound of panting filling the air as he pulled out.

You got up, looking for your shirt and finding it hanging on the doorknob. Slipping it on, you scratched your head a bit.

“Shit.”

“What?”

“5 missed calls from Minyoung.”

“She was supposed to check on us…”

“You don’t think she…”

“She won’t...”

“You and I both know she would.” The two of you walked out to the living room, seeing your friend, Minyoung eating the snacks Jungkook bought and you immediately wished the floor would swallow you whole.

“You two rascals. I’m guessing that the pills did the trick, then?” She said with a mischievous grin.

[orwocolor]

borhap boys feeling your baby kick for the first time

AN: As always, the rest of the boys are under the cut. Enjoy and don’t forget to comment :)

Gwilym

it is the middle of the night

you are tossing around in your bed, the air in the room too hot and humid for you as the summer heat hasn’t subsided even during nights

you can’t find a comfortable position

you keep turning around; on one side, then the other, then you lie on your back

you huff, a strand of hair that’s been in your face rising up and falling back down into your eyes

you take a sip of water which stands on your bedside table and massage your lower abdomen

you are in the fifth month of pregnancy, and a few weeks ago the doctor finally revealed you the gender of your little baby

you and gwil cried when she informed you that you were going to have a baby girl

now you’re feeling like crying too but for an entirely different reason

it’s so hot and you’re incredibly tired, all you want to do is sleep

you look to your left at the sleeping form of gwil

he must have pushed the light duvet down his body in his sleep, revealing soft short hair on his chest

he is snoring lightly and apart from a gentle rise and fall of his chest, he’s completely motionless, deep in slumber

you envy him, wishing sleep would find its way to you too

you look up at the ceiling, eyes wide open, the exhaustion ruling over your body but not giving you the pleasure of a rest

god, if only you could lie on your stomach; that’s always helped

that’s when you suddenly feel a butterfly feeling in your stomach, followed by a little jab

“gwil,” you whisper and touch his arm, your other hand shooting down to your belly as you sit upright

“gwil!” you shook his arm with more vigour and gwilym shifts in his sleep

“GWIL!”

he sits up quickly and turns to you, looking a bit disoriented

“what is it? what happened? are you alright, love?” his eyes are full of worry and he brushes strands of hair from your face, trying to figure out what’s happening

“gwil, she... she just moved”

first, he stares at you in incomprehension, but once he registers your words, his eyes light up and his look softens as he gently lays his hand right next to yours

“I can’t feel anything” his voice drops at the end

“I swear she did, really, just a moment ago”

you sit together in the bed for a few minutes, not daring to breathe as you wait for your little girl to make her presence known again

gwil strokes your bump gently and whispers sweet nothings to your unborn daughter

you are just about to give it up and go back to your attempts of falling asleep when suddenly, you feel another jab against the wall of your stomach, right underneath gwil’s palm

“y/n! have you felt it?” he beams at you and your expression matches his

“hello, little one, yes, hello” he talks to your belly as he leans down to be closer to your stomach

“oh yes, hello, hello” he’s babbling and your heart soars at that sight

he sits up again, tears pricking at the corners of his eyes, and he kisses you soundly, his hand not leaving your bump as the other strokes your back

“I love you so much, darling, both of you”

“I know, I love you too” you respond between kisses

your tears are running down your cheeks freely, the combination of exhaustion and pure joy getting the better of you, and he kisses your temple

you both lie down eventually, gwil resting his head on your chest as he keeps stroking your belly and kissing it

after a minute you can hear him whisper, “we can’t wait to meet you, sweetie”

it’s still warm in your bedroom and gwilym’s weight on you does not help, but you couldn’t care less, perfectly content in his arms

Joe

“I miss you, honey”

“I miss you too” joe says earnestly on the other end of the phone “I wish you could have come with me”

“you know what the doctor said, it wouldn’t be good for the baby”

the doctor has done several tests and your pregnancy’s been considered high-risk and so you aren’t allowed to travel by plane and couldn’t accompany joe on his visit to his mum

you stroke your belly as you talk to him, leaning back on your bed, the phone in one hand pressed to your ear

“my mum keeps asking about you, so you should probably expect her to call you soon”

you have to laugh as joe talks about his mother

they are very alike even though they would never admit it

both of them fretting about you, constantly making sure that you’re okay

“she thought that you’d come with me, and now she’s worried”

“tell her I’m fine, I’ll call her later myself” you smile, appreciating their concern

“speaking of which, how are you and how’s our little bun?”

you’ve already learned that a simple answer is not enough

joe always wants to hear every teeny tiny detail of your every-day life

you talked last night, so you inform him about your restless night, your breakfast, the fact that you craved strawberries but as soon as you put them into your mouth, you had to spill them out, their taste unpalatable out of nowhere

you tell him about the laundry that you did, emphasising that “no, the basket was not heavy, don’t worry, love, I know, I’m careful”

and your little bun was apparently fine as well, not that you’ve heard any complaints

you and joe decided not to find out the gender of your baby

it was predominantly joe’s wish, but truth be told, you agreed with him

all you wanted to know was that your baby was healthy

“I want to talk to our peanut, can you?” joe asks and there is no need for him to continue in his question, you know where this is going

“of course” you say and turn the speaker on before you place your phone on your belly

you can hear joe greeting your baby and then humming a tune

you’re listening to him as well, smiling gently

since he read about all sorts of important stimuli for unborn children, he considered his duty to either sing or play music to your little one almost every day

you close your eyes and feel like drifting to sleep, lulled by joe’s voice, when the tiniest of kicks grazes your stomach from inside

you gasp loudly and bring your phone back to your ear, interrupting joe’s singing

“joe!” you exclaim “our little one just kicked for the first time!”

“what?!” you can hear him stand up and start pacing as he cannot contain the excitement “that’s amazing, darling! oh my god!”

you rub your belly where the baby’s kicked you and giggle into your phone

“it’s such a weird feeling, but gosh, it’s perfect”

“I’m so happy y/n, I just wish I could be there with you” his voice is suddenly sad and you realise that even though he was on the phone with when it happened, he feels like he has missed an important part of your pregnancy

“oh love” you coo and grip your phone tighter, “you’ll come home soon and then you will feel it for yourself, I promise”

“okay” you think you hear him sniff on the other side but he clears his throat and continues in a more cheerful manner “I guess my singing is not that bad after all”

Ben

you are lying on a couch, your head and feet supported by a few throw pillows as you watch a football match on your telly

you have no idea how it is possible, but ben is squeezed right behind you

you feel huge, massive, with your belly protruding in front of you

and you still have another four and a half months to go

you can’t wait to finally meet your little one

those few final doctor appointments that you’ve gone for proved to be quite a challenge as they tested your patience

your baby has apparently a mind of their own as they have refused to position themself for you to see whether you’ve been expecting a girl or a boy

maybe it’s a sign that you should wait until the birth

but you were dying to meet your baby and any kind of information about them would make it more real

ben watches the game intently, his head propped up with his bent arm so that he can see over your head, and every now and then he yells at the players

then he always apologizes as he realises that he’s screamed right into your ear, and offers a light kiss on your forehead in apology

the position is not exactly comfortable and your stomach is churning a bit which you attribute to last night’s curry

a whimper leaves your lips as you try to roll around slightly to reveal the pain in your legs

“what is it, baby?” ben asks, his concern audible

“my feet, ankles, calves, everything - they’re so swollen” you express your complaints

“okay, let me up” he nudges you slightly and you lean forward to let him sit upright

he moves to the end of the sofa and pulls your legs into his lap

he starts massaging them gently and you cannot help but groan out loud

you shut your eyes, the football match forgotten as the relief washes over your body

the weird feeling in your stomach returns and it feels as if thousands of butterflies decided to settle there

you pay it no attention and just keep enjoying ben’s attention

“how do you feel, baby, is it better?” he asks and strokes your bump with care, not wanting to hurt you

and a tiny kick in your stomach greets him

his eyes widen comically and he lets out a squeal

“y/n!!”

he surges forward, pulls up your t-shirt and places both of his hands on your stomach

he looks up at you and his face lights up as another jab presses against his palm

“yeah! high five!”

you burst in laughter, ben’s being absolutely ridiculous and you love every second of it

ben kisses your belly, leaving a wet trail in his wake

there’s another kick and he laughs as well

“I think we’re gonna have soon a little footballer on our hands”

Rami

thousands and thousands of flashes are blinding you, and journalists keep screaming the name of your love

you’re standing on the red carpet at a premiere of rami’s new film and the said man is holding your hand, providing the mental support you need

you are not exactly a fan of events such as this when it inadvertently puts you in the literal spotlight

of course, the people present are not exactly interested in you but in the man by your side

but rami refuses to leave you for even a few seconds to all the photographers’ dismay, since they want pictures of only him as well

but you are sure there will be something to write about as your pregnancy is pretty apparent by now, the gown you wear not hiding your protruding belly

you’ve opted for a modest dress of light blue colour and rami insisted on wearing a matching bowtie

you think you two are the best-dressed couple, but frankly, you’re probably biased

but truth be told, you’re not feeling your best

your stomach is restless but that’s probably just nerves

you dread that you stumble over your feet and fall down on your face

oh you can see the headlines

“rami! rami!” people keep yelling but neither you nor your husband pays any attention to them, you’re just smiling in the general direction of the crowd in front of you

rami’s assistant comes to you and tells you to move a few feet to pose for the next group of photographers

you follow her, but rami’s costar is still being photographed and so you wait

rami snakes his arms around you and hugs you from behind, his hands lightly resting on your stomach and his chin propped up on your shoulder

“how are you feeling, everything alright?” he whispers to your ear, his fingertips pulling at the fabric of your dress as he lazily grazes the underside of your belly

“yes, everything’s fine, just a bit tired, I guess” you nuzzle your nose to his cheek and plant a tender kiss there

in that exact moment, your little miracle decides to let you know that he’s there as well

the small jab startles you at first

it’s been a few weeks since you started wondering whether you finally could feel your little baby or whether the tiny movements were caused by something else

but now there is no doubt

“did you-”

“yes, yes, I did” rami has tears in his eyes and he can’t stop looking at you

“I love you” he says sincerely and his voice trembles a bit, yet he’s never been more sure of his words

“thank you, my love” he continues and his words are so full of honesty and urgency that it makes you a bit emotional as well

you kiss him and cannot stop the happy laughter that is bubbling up out of you

and even though you’re surrounded by hundreds of people and rami’s assistant is trying to catch your attention and ask you to move forward, this moment is yours and no one else’s

[lacklusterswirl]

Excerpt from Original Fic (WIP)

An original work of mine that has existed since 2013 (yikes), but hasn’t really every been worked on due to the fact that I keep scrapping the plot and restarting. It follows Alia Trewn, the first girl in a family that has been touted for their excellent elemental powers. In a post apocalyptic world AU where society has been rebuilt where only a minority of people can control elements, which is often passed down through families, she has to navigate prejudices against her gender, race, family name, and personal history to do what needs to be done in order to stop the biggest threat to her world.

It is a Good vs. Evil theme where Alia becomes like an anti-hero as she grows, matures, and comes to terms with the traditions and expectations that grow more and more ridiculous with each year that passes. Sometimes, to do the right thing, you need to do the unforgivable...

Excerpt below the cut. (~1300 words)

.

Quite honestly, Alia didn’t have a single clue as to what she was doing. Well, she kind of knew. It was more like really good guess work. Sure, she was chosen to be head of the Water Masters, but it was probably based off the fact that she was the first to show even the slightest bit of control with her casting. That, and her father was literally the Commander of the King’s Elemental Army. In a world where casting ability was partly based of genetics, it explained all the weird looks she was getting from other trainees, even the older ones.

A small ping rang off her crystal, reminding her to draw it closer to her as she faced a Rock Master. This should be a win for her. They had a tiny army of pebbles hovering and started throwing them at her. Just one wave of water washed them to the side though, and another was aimed at their head, though that was stopped when the Master flinched.

“Xander, eliminated,” a voice called from above. Older students and teachers were walking on the tall walls, out of sight, but still watching all the newbies scramble to eliminate each other, stepping in to prevent any real harm.

All first-year trainees were set loose in a maze at the end of their fist week at Ediscan. Seven days of going through the selection process, meeting your respective Elemental family, appointing a Head for the family, and training in both physical and elemental combat was too much. Even now, she felt a huge dip in her Shen levels even though that was only the second elimination she won. Mr. Novus, her Supervising Teacher, had warned them that they were too new to have a high Shen reserve, and she was feeling it now. It didn’t help that Water was generally one of the more draining elements too, since you can’t just bring a lake’s worth of water with you. She couldn’t help but envy Earth or Air at the moment.

Right now, she had to focus. Her crystal just gave away her position, so that meant that she had to be more aware, and keep that part of her closer to her actual body. If he was perhaps the Head of the Earth family in her year, she’d be the one having to climb out of the maze in defeat. This was very much a team event, divided by elements, but they had all been placed separately, so the last team standing would win. Earlier, two of her own family had been eliminated, Vevila, her best friend, and one of the first gens.

“Byron, eliminated!” Nevermind. Both first gens were gone now. There were two others from Water still around on the maze, but she hadn’t run into any of them.

She peeked around the corner, and caught sight of a foot as the figure turned a corner. Carefully, Alia sent out her crystal to peek out around the safe corner and tried to see if it would bump into anyone. No one. Thank the One. She crept out slowly, using her smaller size to her advantage as she didn’t make a sound while following the much louder footsteps.

“Karina! It’s me, Adrian. We gotta team up, I just saw Alia ‘round the corner take out an Earth Master.” So, it was the Head of Fire and her other best friend. She shouldn’t have any issues with them considering Water and Fire had one of the only direct-effect relationships as she learned in class.

“Yeah, but she’s small. If she was busy, you could’ve just tackled her. A physical pin counts too, remember.” Her outspoken friend was clearly not impressed with her own leader.

“Whatever,” Adrian hissed. “Let’s flank her.”

Now. Alia jumped out from behind cover to send a tidal wave at them. While whoever was watching stopped it, but it was basically a sound beacon to anyone near her, and that meant she had to move and reposition to find new cover. There was no telling if it would be friend or foe, and her luck wouldn’t last for forever.

“Adrian, Karina, out!” The announcer called out. “Fire Family has been eliminated.”

Ooh. Alia thought to herself, wincing for them. That couldn’t look good to the older years, or even among her year. To be the first family out while being one of the larger ones was pretty embarrassing. It would haunt them once they entered the forging period for all first years.

Still, she focused on her own task. She was about to peek a corner when she heard footsteps from behind her. She was tackled before she could even turn. While on her stomach, she quickly squirmed to look at her attacker. Zach. Another Water master, which meant he was her teammate.

“Get off me,” she grunted from under the much larger boy. Alia was considered small for their age. This blond-haired, grey-eyed boy was considered to be bigger than average.

He smirked, choosing to sit on her for a bit longer. “And what do you plan to do about it?”

Zach was always a jerk to her. From when they were children to now, the beginning of their maturity years, where they were technically fully developed. Fifteen years really did pass quickly, but not enough considering Alia still had to see his stupid face every day.

“We have a game to win,” she deadpanned. He smirked one last time before getting up and scanning their surroundings. They no doubt attracted some attention.

She carefully continued to lead him in the direction she was traveling beforehand, noting how he helped watch their backs. One by one, Masters were defeated left and right by the duo, and another unknown force elsewhere in the maze it seemed. Her Shen levels were getting a little closer to her limit than she would’ve liked, though Zach was probably in the same position. Finally, someone shouted something about the last three people were on the field. If she and Zach were together, this should’ve easily been their win.

Should have been.

Because Alia didn’t anticipate her giant teammate and pain in her side getting taken out by physical elimination. She fled around many corners to put some distance between her and the person who had managed to pin Zach. The tall, muscular, regional fighting champ. She heard footsteps follow her soon afterwards, and she pressed herself along the side of a shadowed wall and watched as Hex, the Ice Head ran by her, full speed. He was bigger than her, though that wasn’t saying much since he was pretty average sized compared to Zach. He even had the element advantage against her. Ice was made of water, so it would come down to who had the stronger Shen reserve. Would she be able to prevent her own element from freezing over, or could he overpower her own will on an element that wasn’t his?

When he got a far enough distance for her not to feel worried about being drawn into a physical fight, she blew a huge wave of water at him that ended with both of them being blown away. The force of her own blast had her back against the wall, and she saw him smirk as the supervisors stopped the wave from hitting him.

“Good game,” he mouthed, before being offered a rope to climb out with.

Alia on the other had, could barely move her legs, partly due to having the wind knocked out of her, and partly due to reaching the limit level of her Shen. Any lower, and she’d risk death. Even her crystal had completely collapsed, now resting on the floor in front of her instead of next to her head, where she liked to keep it. It wouldn’t even budge when she tried to will it up and towards her. Then, next thing she new, the ground was coming up towards her.

[ethelbertpaul444-blog]

5 Ways Being Rich Was Flat-Out Crazy Hundreds Of Years Ago

Sure, being rich has its benefits, but it’s am going to be boring, right? If life’s huge necessitate are from battle and solidarity against overwhelming quirkies, then being rich is playing on easy state( with the invincibility and infinite ammo cheats on ). Where’s the enjoyable? Well, we aren’t the first ones to ask that investigate. The historical experiences shows that the old-timey rich, in their struggle to fend off ennui and entropy, lay some singularly comical ways and means of move the time. Like how … 5 You Could Improve Your Sex Drive By Implanting Radioactive Material Up Your Butt Sexual impotence isn’t a modern phenomenon. Your great-grandparents maybe had “performance editions, ” just like you( and if you didn’t, you do now that we positioned that mental image in your pate ). So how did they inhibit the long quit? We can’t are talking about the poorest of the poor and how they dealt with “losing ones” verve( wishing really hard, maybe ), but the rich had a little proficiency called “jamming in a radium suppository.” Vita Note the entirely unrelated item that it’s “also splendid for pilings and rectal sores.” div > Read Next 5 Random Things You Had No Idea Had Tons Of Love Overseas At the grow of the 20 th century, an part industry revolving around solving sexual imperfection formed up, so to speak. One of these products was Vita Radium Suppositories, anal submarines “carried in a cocoa butter base”( for better … spice ?) which promised to turn “weakened organs” into Godzilla by irradiating the bloodstream, and by proxy the chunks. What about refuge? Well, the manufacturers had certainly heard about that abstraction. Harmonizing to their marketing folders, the radium would leave the patient’s arrangement in three days, which is approximately two days, 23 hours, 59 minutes, and 59 seconds longer than we’d like. The 1930 s viewed the exhaust of a product with the seducing honour of “Scrotal Radiendocrinator, ” which promised users they could kick-start their shattered scrotums by leaving a radium-filled jockstrap on their garbage and going to bed. We can’t wholly vouch for the scienceness of such products, but it’s worth noting that its inventor died from bladder cancer — a total coincidence, and definitely not a warning that maybe Geiger counters shouldn’t need to be sold in adult emporia alongside battery-operated gender dolls and blow-up representations of Clark Gable. The Home Products Co. Denver, CO Why does the term “plutonium rod” seem apt? There was, surprisingly, a solid motivation behind the madness. At this moment, the technical finding of the working day was that hot springs, which it was claimed could medicine afflictions, were radioactive. Instead of waiting to hear more science, nonetheless, the medical-industrial complex immediately moving forward putting radium into a ton of health concoctions, including water coolers and force alcohols like RadiThor. As radium is expensive, however, exclusively the richest members of society could open to partake, and that’s why it never blew up into a bar( liter) ic state crisis. The damage was reduced to a tiny person, comprised of beings such as Eben Byers, an industrialist who downed two bottles of RadiThor every day for three years until his bones started disintegrating and he died in incalculable agony. Still, we gambled his dick examined amazing . 4 You Could Be The Envy Of Your Pals By Owning( Or Renting) Your Very Own Pineapple When “youve been” think it is right it, status badges haven’t changed that is something that from the days of yore. There “ve always been” high-end modes, big houses, fast cars( horsepower used to be less figurative ), and status foods. It’s just that in the past, did nutrients used to be less “gold-plated donuts” and “avocados, ” and more “pineapples” and “seriously, pineapples.” John Raphael Smith Hendrick Danckerts “Check out my pineapple” was an artistry progress of its own. div > For the high houses of Europe during the 1700 s, the pineapple represented the very essence of abundance. The outcomes is already exclusively found in South America, until enterprising someones in England and the Netherlands developed hothouses that allowed the growth of these elegant forces in wetter, more Europey maladies. They were still scarce, of course, and so owning one was mostly a giant signal advertise how well-to-do you two are. Repeat patrons included Louis XV, Catherine the Great, and Charles II, all of whom we’re sure requirement the help signaling their wealth. But soon, owning a pineapple wasn’t fairly. The hardcore pineapple fandom of the 1700 s meant that people did everything from outlining them on wallpaper and tablecloths, to plowing their manors in wooden and stone carvings of pineapples, to hosting dinner parties where the pineapple “wouldve been” virtuoso centerpiece. Eat it? No, you two are meant to look at it and gaze in wonder at its beautiful, and that was severely fairly. Charles II even commissioned a covering of someone handing him a pineapple. To the elite of society, pineapples were the Szechuan Sauce packets of the working day, and by Jove, woe betide your honour if you set that shit on pizza. Otter/ Wiki Commons A house, yes. A pizza , no. div > But what if you were a middle-class person or persons craved for the trappings of asset, but still wanted to write shall verify that exclusively a pineapple could currency? Well, there was also a thriving pineapple rental market. In the same behavior that celebrities lease thought tuxedos and sports cars before attending culture jamborees, it was a tend du jour to combine and cradle a pineapple in your appendages, before reverting it the next morning and trying to justify to the renter why you shouldn’t lose your security deposit because someone took a bite out of it. 3 You Could Hire An Old Person Garmented Like A Wizard To Live In Your Garden It’s easy to look at the gig economy and shake your ability at how poorly megacorporations like Uber, Amazon, and Seamless discuss their independent contractors( predict: people working independently of hire rights ), but it could be much worse. They could be living in the reasons for their Jeff Bezos’ stately possession and dressing like Gandalf. div > We’ve mentioned that in the 18 th century, it was all the rage for landowners to hire “hermits” — mostly the olden equivalent of that crazy person from the bus terminal — to rove their soils and dispense sage-green wise to anyone who walked past. But what exactly were the roles and responsibilities of this position? Chiefly sitting around and looking strange. Here’s what guests to one manor were was welcomed by when they entered the hermit’s abode TAGEND via Google Books Why is his name only Francis if he’s awake? div > In order is so that their monks didn’t expire of exposure or wild animal onrush, most owners improve them a plaza to live — anything from a shack or outhouse to an earthen hammock to a place of bogus archaic wreckings they could specter like shaggy, well-learned haunts. This might voice expensive, but it was worth it for the landowner to invest in their loner. A “good” hermit could entice tourists from miles around, delivering coin and prestige to the owned — so much so that some landowners faked the whole thing by constructing a shack, leaving some spooooky components on a counter, and pretending that their hermit had popped out to the supermarkets for the day. The trend didn’t been a long time, croaking out following the completion of the century. It’s thoughts, nonetheless, that hermits afterwards acted as the insight for your common-law garden gnomes. That’s something to think about, especially the next time your landlord or HOA bitches about your lawn embellishes. It’s either the terracotta fishermen and pink flamingos, or a hairy chap who lives in your fence exclaiming problems at passersby. 2 You Could Wear A Creepy Mask To Shun Catching A Tan, Like A Filthy Commoner If you’re rich, money can buy you a lot of things — a lot of things . i> But there’s one indispensable stuff it can’t buy: sovereignty from beings inadvertently mistaking you for a poor person. In the 16 th century, this anxiety so horribly warped the minds of the rich that they thought it was better to look like a serial killer or a monster from the void dimension than someone who has to buy the generic-brand haras inoculation. Day of Archaeology They were also willing to endure being stomped by Italian plumbers. div > This is a visard mask, bought by upper-class madams to prevent them from contracting a horrific suntan on their porcelain-white buttocks — “hideous” because in those daytimes, having a tan or even a reminder of melanin were of the view that you were one of those dreaded poverty-strickens who had to work outdoors all day. But hey, at least they suffered for it. The masks were made from velvet, silk, and mantles of pressed paper, which doesn’t sound too bad … until you realize that there was no such situation as elastic. So how was it held in place? Well, the inside of the concealment contained a glass dot hanging on a short section of fibre. In line-up ensuring the cover-up, the wearer would have to hold the ball between her teeth, thus preventing her from doing anything other than sitting there in total stillnes. Which was probably part of its pattern, to be honest. Wiki Commons “I have no mouth and I’m this close to screaming.” div > Although only a few disguises survive to this day, they were favourite enough that children’s dolls from the period emanated accessorized with miniature visard masks, so that young girls could become used to their forthcoming lives of total stillnes and casual defect. The disguises remained in vogue for most of the century before expiring out, maybe after person wondered whether they weren’t being really a little silly. 1 You Could Steal Ancient European Builds, Brick By Brick On the aspect of it, it isn’t surprising that historical rich people liked to voyage to faraway country level make whatever they wanted. That’s how we dissolved up with the slave traffic, after all. What is surprising, nonetheless, is how dumb it wound up coming. Case in time: A spate of 20th-century American moguls used to plagiarize antique structures and have them carried back home, to be reassembled brick by brick like the world’s most ostentatious planned of Legos. And too like with Legos, sometimes they’d get bored halfway through and leave the segments laying around. div > Between 1914 and 1934, it’s estimated that 20 archaic buildings happened to fall onto a back of a lorry in Europe and fall off of again where reference is stateside, in sites straddling from New York and San Francisco to Milwaukee and Philadelphia. One of the most famous crypt thiefs was sled enthusiast and original imitation word proprietor William Randolph Hearst. In 1926, he imported a 12 th-century convent, St. Bernard de Clairvaux, with plans to install it at Hearst Castle. Due to financial difficulties, nonetheless, he subsequently abandoned the portions( still in the shipping crates) in a warehouse for nearly 30 years, before person Storage Wars ‘d them and had the monastery reassembled in Miami, where most old-fashioned stuffs go to rest. RossbetReynet/ Wiki Commons Daderot/ Wiki Commons The friars inside the boxes were starting to get a little cramped. essay > As the country hardest hit by these frauds, Spain afterwards play-act various rules intended to stop rich assholes from plagiarizing their heritage, but forgot to account for the fact that money is freaking narcotic, you guys . In 1930, Hearst paid an prowes marketer $30,000 to buy, disassemble, and carry another structure — the convent of Santa Maria de Ovila. You might think that buying convents was Hearst’s way of atoning for his years of being a total shitheel, but noooo. He wanted to turn it into a literally goddamned swimming pool, complete with diving boards( situated where the altar used to sit ), changing rooms, and an indoor beach. He later wound up abandoning this project too, because he was, like, the William Randolph Worst. Adam Wears is on Twitter and Facebook , and has a newsletter about depressing record that you should definitely subscribe to . i > b> You laugh at the pineapple occasion, but have you indicated your friends how a pineapple corer labor ? i > b> Support Cracked’s journalism with a see to our Contribution Page. Please and thank you . i > b> For more courses our ancestors were utterly terrifying, check out 7 Popular Old-Timey ‘Hobbies’ That Will Give You Ordeal and 6 Fun Works That Were Shocking Throughout History . i > b> Follow us on Facebook. If you like pranks and nonsense . i > b> Read more: http :// www.cracked.com/ article_2 5562 _5-ways-being-rich-was-flat-out-crazy-hundreds-years-ago. html http://dailybuzznetwork.com/index.php/2018/06/03/5-ways-being-rich-was-flat-out-crazy-hundreds-of-years-ago/