From the ashes (chapter 2)
Sixty-five days later
Walking into Mid-Wilshire after two months undercover is a strange experience. Everything feels the same and yet different at the same time. Lucy supposes that makes sense; after all, she’s spent the last two months pretending to be someone she’s not, and now that she’s back she’s finding it difficult to remember how to be herself.
She spots him before he sees her, across the bullpen at a desk with his back to her as he pours over a stack of paperwork. One by one, though, her colleagues become aware of her arrival. An initially scattered applause spreads through the bullpen, and she can see the moment it reaches Tim because he lifts his head and looks around, eyes widening in surprise when they find hers.
The corner of his mouth quirks up slightly and she offers her own small smile of acknowledgment. She’s unsure if it’s because she’s not really herself right now or if it’s just the passage of time, but seeing him doesn’t hurt quite as much.
The debrief takes hours, and it’s not until end of shift that Lucy finally makes her way back into the bullpen. Tim is at his desk once more, eyes fixed on the computer screen this time, but he lifts them to her as she approaches.
“Hey,” she offers tentatively.
“Hey,” he greets, giving her a quick onceover out of habit. “You okay?”
“I think so?” she answers, though it’s more question than answer. Tim tilts his head curiously and she adds, “It’s… weird. Being someone else for that long. I feel like I’m still her.”
He nods in understanding. “Makes sense.”
For a moment neither speaks, but then Tim continues before the awkwardness can creep in. “Heard you took down the entire operation,” he says, and despite the vast chasm of fractured emotion that still lies between them, she can see the pride in his eyes.
“We did,” she replies.
Silence falls again, and Lucy wonders if it will never not be awkward between them.
“You look better,” she offers, an attempt to fill the silence. He’s clean-shaven, eyes clearer and much less haunted than when she left, and as much as she’s missed him, she thinks it may have been for the best that they didn’t have any contact for two months. They both needed to begin to heal, and she doesn’t know how effectively that would’ve happened if they’d had to see each other every day at the station.
“I feel better,” he confirms. “I still have a ways to go, though.”
“You’ll get there.”
“I hope so.”
“Chen.”
Lucy turns at the sound of her name, finds Harper and the lead detective from Narcotics motioning her over. She turns back to Tim. “Sorry, I have to…”
“No, it’s fine,” he assures her quickly. “We can talk another time.”
“Right, okay, yeah,” she stammers, fighting the conflicting desires to maintain a healthy distance between them but also to continue their conversation because it’s been more than two months since she’s seen his face and heard his voice.
“Hey, Lucy?” Tim calls softly as she turns to leave.
“Hmm?” she asks, pausing to toss a glance over her shoulder.
“I’m glad you’re back.”
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