#They're all played by the same girl.

[the-halfling-prince]

"How do we know you're not gonna kill us and take our food and water?"

"I don't want your stuff, I have my own stuff."

[sysig]

Here, have an unfinished set of Die Anstalt plushie crayon-scribbles from 2020 ♥ (Patreon)

[nobodysdaydreams]

Giving a complicated tragic childhood backstory to your favorite character is all fun and games, until you realize you need to account for how old all the other adult characters would have been at the time and realize that scenes that would work perfectly if one character was twenty three and the other was fourteen stop working when you need other characters who are played by adult actors clearly younger than they are to be in college at the same time so your story beats line up thematically.

[scarlettfevor]

Finally got ahold of the audiobook of Penance by Eliza Clark and I have mixed emotions about it. On one hand I love the premise and I feel like it's written well enough to where I feel like the author isn't going to clumsily stumble through her own story and fall on her face at the end like the majority of popular thrillers. But also this story suffers from having someone who hasn't been in school for a long time attempting to write teenagers. The funny thing is that whenever I see a horrible portrayal of teenagers, specifically of zoomers its never like, inaccurate portrayals of slang and trends that most teenagers cringe at, it's extremely unnatural dialogue that I don't understand how even a 30 or 40 year old can't see how awkward and cringe and flat out bad of a portrayal they're doing. You can claim that it's regional differences, even if we were all teenagers once I still don't know what it's like to be a popular mean British girl, but I'm fairly certain that actual popular mean British girls don't go around describing themselves as popular mean girls. The funny thing is that they've mentioned several times that these girls (ok it was actually like one girl but she introduced too many characters and I got confused so I can't even remember the name of the girl who said it) are trying to imitate the mean girls in popular American shows/movies. But I think that it's SO funny how instead of going for the obvious Regina George or maybe the more posh Blair Waldorf, they chose Sharpay Evans....I'm very familiar with the popular mean girl trope because I always love the girls who fall into this category and I can say with 100% certainty that none of these girls act like this either. I don't know what the author is going for but it's very painful to listen to.

[basuralindo]

every ounce of kindness and understanding leaves my body the second my breathing is restricted. if my asthmatic ass finds you smoking at a bus stop I want you dead and I mean that

[lurking-latinist]

⛵

[kerryweaverlesbian]

You legit have the best spn takes I love the patheticness of Rowena but never actually thought too much about it but your post makes me appreciate that part of her sm

Thank you! People are so nice to me 🥹 she needs to be a little scheming worm who gets maybe two thirds of what she wants maximum. She needs a project. She would be bored of running Hell with no conflict or further goals within about a week. Rowena has wanted the IDEA of running Hell for a long time but from what we've seen of what being monarch of Hell actually IS with Crowley (or, what he made it into) she's going to be bored out of her skull. She looked bored in the episode. She's a schemer!! Let her scheme! It's like if Chandler from FRIENDS just stopped telling jokes forever as his final position on the show and all his (titular) friends agreed it was good for him. Or if Winston from New Girl put down his racoon costume and said "I'm going to become an ivestment banker" and did it with no issues and no silliness that was his endgame. It doesn't feel right.

Anyway!!!!! Pathetic Rowena is so good. When she was trying to build a coven and all the witches were like. Have you forgotten that you're a complete loser??? Or when she "reconnects" with Crowley as his untrustworthy advisor and gives the most obviously scheming bad advice and the only reason he lets her get away with it is because she's his mother and he pities her a little. Or when she manages to get in good with Amara but Amara's like hm. You kind of suck huh. like that's golden.

I would have had, for her final appearance as "queen of hell", she does her whole big grand entrance being carried around by demons (loved that for her), giving (slightly quicker) lofty advice* about working on relationships (because that IS necessary for the theme of the episode) and getting her demons to look for Michael. And THEN after they get the news that he's not in Hell, have one of her demon aides warn her that the actual queen is coming so she's gotta go and the boys are like. The who. What. Meanwhile Rowena is scrambling to get her things and is like 'aye well maybe introducing myself as queen was a tad preemptive, but I will be. Good luck boys, best get out of here sharpish if you want to keep yer heads ❤️" and a specific goodbye to Sam with a kiss on the cheek since she was. His best friend???? and they don't presently have A Moment in the episode. It wouldn't take much. It would also solve the weird place of them being best friends with the queen of hell where - presumably - eternal torture is still happening. Easier to handwave if the position of power is incredibly tenuous like Crowley's was always depicted as.

To conclude. Kiss kiss kiss 💋

*not to be confused with giving Lofty advice, a character from BBC Casualty who crossed over to BBC Holby City and whom I hate with the fire of a million suns.

[ominouspositivity-or-else]

so much of a 21st century woman that i legitimately had to have a guy in my YA lit class explain to me how men's emotions work because i've only ever heard about it from idiotic women speaking for men or super macho guys who think any form of emotion is utter weakness for my entire life

[unloneliest]

jam i have a question. who is eliot spencer... where is he from. what makes him ur number one blorbo and what do u understand abt him that no one else does <3

partridge thank you so much for this ask i need you to know you made my entire morning. eliot spencer is. my specialest guy my blorbo of all time i love him so so so so much. he's from the tv show leverage, which aired from 2008-2012* and isn't immune to the downfalls of that era of tv in general but that. honestly does a comparatively outstanding job to ME. it holds up and also the premise is "what if these extremely competent hot thieves ruined shitty rich people's lives and helped the people who'd been victimized by the rich people and created a found family together after all having various levels of sad backstory? and there was an ot3 made as canon as the showrunners could possibly make it in 2012?" i'm getting ahead of myself though.

*there's a sequel currently airing but i have yet to watch it & there's certain aspects about it that i refuse to accept as canon (this is a part of me being the most right about eliot)

i am putting this under the cut because. well. this got long

to start with context. having my brain rewired by supernatural and captain america: the winter soldier when i was a teenager is a huge factor in like. *waves hands vaguely* everything. when it comes to how i came to love leverage and eliot specifically. i got driven away from spn because (to simplify things) the showrunners hated the fans so bad and the characters were fighting the narrative but unable to escape it, and i loved the version of the characters that was actively being opposed by the show. and that was just plain not enjoyable for me. and marvel is marvel and continuity of emotional and interpersonal arcs doesn't matter at all to them.

and the thing is i took a sociology class in 2017 and it was making me so upset learning about white collar crime. and @canis-la-trans was like. we are watching leverage now. to remedy this. and i'd tried watching it with him before but this time around it just clicked. and the biggest part of what clicked is eliot. because listen. eliot is in somewhat of the same category as my earlier favorite characters but the thing about eliot spencer is that all of his best qualities are canon, not fanon. he redefines the category. he's incomprable. to me.

the thing about eliot spencer is he's the punchboy. he's the hitter. it's his job to get in the fights and protect the team. and he does his best to come across as grumpy, as not caring about people, does his best to fly under the radar as just another unintelligent lackey with a short temper who's particularly talented at violence.

but that's a performance. canonically that's a performance. and he has the best work/life separation of the whole team. he's not his job - he's very good at his job, and it's what he does and that is a part of him, but where some of the other characters view their job as an extension of their selfhood, eliot doesn't.

he cooks. he cooks so well that he could do that professionally. he grows all his own produce (allegedly). he's one of if not the best person on the team with kids. he loves so wholly so fast. he's the first person to call the team a we. within team dynamics he & sophie, the grifter, protect the other 2 from the worst of the team leader's dysfunction.

eliot's done bad things in the past. and he views himself completely past saving. like. from commentary on the show: he knows he's going to hell. like. his self worth is completely abysmal. i know he would die for the team. in s2e2 there's an episode where the team isn't succeeding at the con, and he takes the fall on purpose. and in a conversation about that he says "i'm not diving on a grenade. i'll be all right" but he says that so readily that i Know he's thought about it. and he would. for the team he would. for parker and hardison he would. he's in love with them. and they're in love with him too and i have to cut myself off or i'll go an entire separate rant about them!!!!

he has long hair. which he straightens. and he looks great with blood on his face. he doesn't use guns. he never throws the con for personal reasons - only ever does to protect kids. he grew up in rural oklahoma and he enlisted to get the hell out of dodge and he got in such a bad argument with his dad the night before he shipped out that he got disowned. and he can't even talk about it until nearly the end of the final season of the show. he never once mentions his mom. and i just know he got disowned for coming out, intentionally or not. he's never had an environment he could be his full self in without fear until the team.

parker, the thief of the team, is intentionally written as autistic; the hacker, hardison, is so likely written to have adhd. and eliot is autistic too, to me. it makes the level of performing masculinity to closet himself so much more insane to me. bc it's also masking. and adding that context to eliot and parker's relationship makes me unWELL.

the thing is is that eliot is a character who's hiding, who's actively doing his best to be unnoticed. and so many people who watch the show fall for the act, even if they don't fall for the whole act they fall for parts of it, and like. They Are Wrong About Him. i have an entire complex backstory thought up for eliot, because i think the only thing sadder than him missing out on the kind of connection he finds with the team is him knowing what he's missing because he had a queer best friend as a kid, & the two of them were closeted together, but he lost contact with her over the years.

the thing is that eliot spencer has SO MUCH GENDER and i know if he and parker and hardison adopted a kid eliot would be ma. never dad. and i don't think he'd even be able to start exploring that for himself until the end of the series.

the thing is eliot spencer would listen to the mountain goats. and there's a couple other people out there who are right about that and it makes me so insane 100% of the time.

and i love him and this is just a list of facts about him and the most important thing about eliot spencer to me is that. he exists in motion. trying to capture a still image or static description in words never works. but he's my wife and i love him so much. and i always will. and i'm writing a fic where i'm going to blow him up. just a little bit. for his own good. this is my "eliot made himself a mountain goats mix tape about knowing he's willing to jump on a bomb for parker and hardison & never telling them that in advance" playlist from that universe.

all of leverage is availible for free streaming on imdb tv & here are thee best leverage fanvids of all time:

& this last vid is abt the show in general, not just the ot3:

i would add all my fave eliot pics i have screenshotted but this is already so long . i still might rb and do that anyways he is Everything to me

[nolanhattrick]

Why is Joey's ankle sprain the worst case scenario? Week to week is good I thought

typically, w/ athletes that require a lot of ankle movement (basketball is where i saw most of my ankle injuries) week to week is a good sign. and if we can trust what leafs pr staff are saying (which, if you know me... I Do Not), then his sprain isn't worse than a grade two.

skates are designed the way they're designed for a reason. ankle support is a necessity so you can skate safely. that's why if you watch this video, OP is getting their shit rocked in the comments for wrapping their laces around their ankle - it creates the illusion of stability while actually destroying the integrity of the boot & setting them up for injury.

i have concerns that ayotte and bean and theodoropolous are going to either sign off on him getting back to on-ice activities too early - not even playing just fucking practice - or that woller himself will push too hard the second he's cleared out of a misplaced sense of obligation and he's going to resprain and it will be worse.

if you don't know, high ankle sprains are much worse than your average "i stepped down off the curb and fucked my foot up". high ankle sprains have an at minimum six to eight week heal time, often with the demand of no weight and zero movement for the first two. it can cause a rotational or shearing fracture at the end of the tibia/fibula where the ligaments insert, which was why he got the MRI yesterday. they had to know what they were working with to make sure he wasn't out for the season vs just out "week to week" (it's going to end up being at least a month. prepare for two.) they also sometimes require surgery and plating if there is a fracture involved, mostly because of where the break is. they have to make sure the bones of your leg stay where they're supposed to be.

because there isn't a lot of blood supply to ligament tissue, it's really hard for ligaments to heal. and because i don't have access to woller's mri results or ayotte's/bean's/theodoropolous' brains, i have no idea what they're planning on doing for a rest and rehab plan, if there's an incomplete tear, if it's grade one or grade two. i could keep going.

back to the ankle support skates thing - woller isn't skating miles every single night, but much of his job relies on his flexibility, ability to change direction quickly, ability to quite literally fold in on himself at a moment's notice. his ankles have to be stable AND flexible. that is not possible with any amount of leftover inflammation or injury.

woller is the entire leafs team. as much as i love willy and mo and mitch and everyone else. woller is the entire leafs team. keefe knows this. keefe is not a doctor. keefe has pushed them to the point of exhaustion a couple times this season. the only reason practice was cancelled after mo's 35+ minute game was because he literally could not get out of bed the next day. i don't know if i trust keefe's judgement when woller does come back. i just... i don't have a good feeling about it.

once you fuck up a joint, especially the ankle, especially where woller hurt his, it's fucked up for the rest of your life. he is very likely to do this again at least twice. maybe not during his career. maybe when he's retired. maybe during an offseason. but again - you guys see the shit he does in the net. he acts like he doesn't have any fucking bones. he runs around like he's a puppet on strings. like he's a fucking video game character. he does not treat his body kindly when he plays. i don't know what he does to cool down or warm up or whatever, but he treats his body poorly during games. this was inevitable. and i am scared for what happens during his recovery.

i do not give a fuck if we end this season 32 in the league. i do not care if we use marlies goalies for the rest of the season. all i need is leafs staff to listen to me when i tell them to let joseph woll recover at home for as long as he needs for his ankle to be at 100%, because if they don't, it will not be good for him.

[nonbinary-octopus]

partial face blindness be like

seeing a gifset, scrolling through it, the caption implies these are all the same character. Go back up and look. Are these the same person? *squints* Her hair is different in literally all of these. I cannot tell.

[ivorypool]

Andrew Davies, Othello (2001) // Antoine de Saint-Exupery, Manon, Ballerina // Richard Siken, The Torn-Up Road // Sue Zhao, I Still Loved You // Nerdy Girl, Hate Me // sadoeuphemist, The Scorpion and the Frog // Madeline Miller, Song of Achilles // The Mountain Goats, How to Love a Swamp Creature // New Order, Bizarre Love Triangle // Jane Heller Levi, Waiting for this Story to End Before I Begin Another // Lavalove, Luck in Love // Sea Ghosts, Cowboy Hat // Aka Akasaka, Kaguya-sama Love is War Ch 231

[maddy-ferguson]

even if you think mike's love triangle is a carbon copy of nancy's you should still be able to see that he has a problem with conformity if only because nancy did lol

[forter-from-meteos]

i will be "i should make art of a ranbarumban" and come out with two minor ocs and ideas for two more

[terrainofheartfelt]

Gossip Girl Playlists: Theatre Kid AU edition!—Serena’s

[Blair's] [Dan’s] [Nate’s] 

I don’t even remember exactly how this started, but it’s @strideofpride’s fault. 

The concept began as: if they were in this world, what would be in the GG mains’ MT books? What would be their go-to song? Their 16 bar cut? And then, I got on spotify, and got wayyyy too carried away (typical me), and it sort of morphed into: what are the NJBC’s (plus Daniel’s) senior musical theatre recital programs? And now I have this: a quartet of playlists of repertoire handpicked by me for these fake people, and I am very proud of them. 

All selections based on my very particular taste, honed from a childhood in community theater, an adolescence in high school musicals, and a 4 year degree from a majority musical theatre school

And, as in the tradition of Glee and all plays within a play, the rep reflects something profoundly personal about the character, because you know I love a theme. 

the meta:

So Serena’s type…it’s the same with Nate, too, in that people try to pigeon-hole her into one, but she’s not really into it. She isn’t one for the leading ladies for multiple reasons: a): her personality does not vibe, because the villains and the old ladies (and the overlap of both) is so much more fun to her, b): she’s kind of shut herself out of wanting to be for Blair’s sake, because she doesn’t want to compete with her for the same stuff, and c): she’s as tall/taller than most male leads in her program. 

Her voice: hmmmmmm she IS a belter, or can be one, but it’s not — it’s not this weak sauce, nasal belting, and it isn’t high, like she’s not up in the stratosphere, yk? It’s a little rough and tumble, deeper, rounder, lower. She can get Up There, but it’s not where she lives. (Like S floated Laura Bell Bundy, but her voice is SO high, and rings in a way that’s so specific to her that I don’t really hear it for Serena. It’s a vibe, idk.) 

Oh, and she’s a ~dancer~ like Natie.

References: Bernadette Peters, Jane Krakowski, Kristin Chenoweth (for the Comedy and for that oldies golden-age country crooner kind of belt), and early Idina Menzel, pre-Elphaba pre-let’s write roles that shouldn’t be physiologically possible, and a girl from my voice studio I’ll call Heather, because she looked a bit like Blake Lively and had the voice I’m casting in this playlist. 

the tracklist:

Don’t Tell Mama — Cabaret

It’s just…so perfect. On so many meta-levels

Sally Bowles does not want you to tell her mother about her career change

A Trip to the Library — She Loves Me

Bc S’s au was so SPOT ON with this casting choice, omg. 

The darling, if a little bit ditzy, Ilona is definitely over her ex now, after a meet cute in the library. 

A Cockeyed Optimist — South Pacific

The only leading lady that both Blair and Serena are perfectly suited for. Imagine a plot where they both go out for it, then are double cast, all that delicious blairena drama…

Nellie talks to the dapper Emil, and reveals her personality, unshaken despite literally living in the middle of a world war 

Sonya & Natasha (duet w/ Blair) — Natasha, Pierre, and the Great Comet of 1812

I really think this works best with the duet and solo ballad playing one right after the other. it’s all that stuff all those web weaving posts are about, girls loving with claw marks and teeth and blood but nobody else will love you as fiercely and as loyally. It’s the best friendship of it all.

Natasha’s cousin-but-good-as-sister Sonya discovers and calls her out on her emotional affair with a RAKE to whom she is not engaged. Absolutely brutal girl-best-friend fight ensues. 

Sonya Alone — Natasha, Pierre, and the Great Comet of 1812

When her cousin shuts her out, Sonya remains determined to save her from herself. 

Through the Mountain — Floyd Collins

A hidden gem in a hidden gem of an esoteric kind of musical. But the song is gorgeous (also composed by Richard Rogers’ grandson Adam Guettel, in a genre I’m calling neoromantic bluegrass)

I picked the Audra performance bc I love her, and for the guitar, because musician!Dan my most beloved

While her brother, Floyd, is trapped in an underground cave, Nellie sings this promise to save him. 

Over the Moon — Rent

Like, ~serena the actress~ not doing Maureen is so implausible I cannot entertain the notion. Also, like, just imagine her in a performance—not even the whole show, just her recital or a cabaret—getting the crowd to moo with her. Only thee SVDW could. 

Take It Like a Man (duet w/ Dan) — Legally Blonde

I stand by what I said earlier re: Laura Bell Bundy, and while Serena is not a “so much better” belter, she could so sell this. And with Dan!!! It’s perfect!

Okay I have strong opinions on this but this is actually a perfect, feel-good musical. So many bangers, a genius adaptation of a beloved film, a balance that not many musicals in the same genre strike. (a guy judged me recently for calling it perfect and honestly fuck that guy. anyways).

Elle takes her best law school friend, Emmett, shopping for grownup lawyer clothes for their case. Feelings ensue.

Gorgeous — The Apple Tree: Passionella

Okay so I’ve never seen this show, but this song is basically about a “homely” girl who magically becomes ~sexy~ and she is Living for it — it’s a twist on the Cinderella myth, essentially. It was made famous by KChen in a revival. 

Turn Back, O Man — Godspell

For no other reason than I can imagine Serena having the most fun with it. 

The legendary Stephen Schwartz musical in which the only named characters are Judas and Jesus, it’s a…loose storytelling of the gospel. 

The designated soloist opens Act II with this song, which, for telling people to forswear sin and give up things of this world, it sounds hella sexy. (I chose the revival w/ Morgan James bc she’s one of my fave singers and hoooo. She can wail.)

Hard to Be the Bard — Something Rotten

A gender-bender song because Serena would. And let us never forget Serena, Founder of the Shakespeare Club my beloved. 

Poor ol’ Billy Shakes is struggling with the trappings of fame. 

Changing My Major — Fun Home

Harold. 

College-age Alison wakes up after a night of passion (her very first one) and is adorably and emotionally changed forever. 

The Life of the Party — The Wild Party

It’s Serena (one aspect of her character) wrapped up into one MT song. It’s perfect. 

A musical about a Fitzgerald kind of bacchanal, during which things get truly wild: alcohol, abuse, adultery….murder. Kate, a flapper if there ever was one, opens Act 2 with a salute to the party life. 

If You Ever See Me Talking to a Sailor — The Last Ship

Remember when Sting wrote a musical about some gruff northern english shipbuilders? No? Well, it kind of flopped, BUT I think it’s great. And the music slaps (it’s by Sting, hello) and this song slaps. 

Meg, a badass MILF who’s been hurt one too many times tells everyone in the pub of this seaside town why sailor’s ain’t shit. because her first love ran away on a boat after he (unknowingly) knocked her up? maybe so.

If You Hadn’t But You Did — Two on the Aisle

Written for a 50s Bway revue, KChen revived this into one of her staples on a studio recording. The wronged woman, but make it both deadly AND hilarious. And patter. 

Mamma Mia — Mamma Mia

Because S said it belonged here and she is RIGHT. Like, in a ~serena the Actress~ world, I see her starting off with the Maureens and the comic sexy relief before happily aging into Donna and everything Bernadette Peters ever did. 

Donna, on this, the eve of her daughter’s wedding, discovers that not one, but three of her exes (and all incidentally the possible biological father of said daughter) have been invited. Shenanigans and Abba ensue. 

People — Funny Girl

Idk if I would have her do this whole role, but I think she would love Babs and love this song (and she can absolutely do “Jingle Bells?” as a party trick at holiday gigs). 

Fanny Brice, charismatic comedienne full of ambition sings this number towards the close of act 1, as she begins to fall for Nicky Arnstein. 

Get Happy/Happy Days Are Here Again (duet with Blair) — as performed by Judy and Barbra

It’s about the BEST FRIENDS. And about that gorgeous, full, round, vibratoed belt. 

A mashup duet made famous from Judy Garland and Barbra Streisand’s performance on the Judy Garland show. Judy sings Harold Arlen’s “Get Happy” which she made famous in the movie Summer Stock, and Babs sings Milton Ager’s pop standard “Happy Days,” one of her most famous singles. 

[perdidit-vulpes]

thinking about all the ocs that’ve gotten abandoned because they remind me too much of her. lmao. lmao! lmao