#This is unironically a very nice ship

[real-total-drama-takes]

I unironically ship Aletyler (not in a creepy way), I just feel like Alejandro, who can get bitches of any gender, would look at this absolute himbo of a human and think “God, he’s so pathetic” and then accidentally fall head over heels for him. I also love the idea that Alejandro is good at flirting with gals but when he tries to flirt with guys, he can’t go through with it because he gets so flustered ‘cause he’s not used to hitting on guys. Like yeah, he’s good at manipulating them, but flirting?? Hell nah. Tyler also either is very adamant that he only likes girls or he’s like “Wow, Alejandro’s really nice :D” while Alejandro is slamming his head against a wall in frustration.

.

[captainsophiestark]

A Bad Idea

Obi-Wan Kenobi x Reader

Masterlist - Join My Taglist!

Written for Fictober 2023!

Fandom: Star Wars

Day 31 Prompt: "It's not your fault."

Summary: Obi-Wan and his best friend/fellow Jedi are getting Hondo's help on a mission. Predictably, things don't go according to their plan.

Word Count: 2,045

Category: Fluff, Humor

A/N: That's a wrap for Fictober gang! Thank you so much to @fictober-event for putting this whole thing on and to everyone who's read one of my stories! Honestly can't believe the amount of writing I got done for this event

Putting work into an AI program without permission is illegal. You do not have my permission. Do not do it.

"I think this might be the worst idea we've ever had."

"If you don't count ideas that Anakin came up with and we agreed to, then yes, it probably is."

Obi-Wan Kenobi and I stood shoulder to shoulder on the ramp of our ship, waving as the one and only Hondo Ohnaka came towards us. We'd recently gotten information that the Separatists were using a different group of pirates to smuggle things out of reach of the Republic, and together, Obi-Wan and I had decided the best way to infiltrate a pirate base was with the help of another pirate. On paper, it sounded perfectly rational, especially since we had a pirate contact we could go to. In reality, it was probably going to get us killed.

"Kenobi!" called Hondo once he got within earshot of us. "It is wonderful to see you again! And who is your lovely friend? A girlfriend, perhaps?"

Heat and embarrassment rushed through me, and I felt a wave of discomfort coming off of Obi-Wan in the Force too.

"Jedi don't typically date," he quickly explained, waving Hondo off. "And it wouldn't be any of your business anyway."

"I'm a friend of Obi-Wan's," I continued. "We grew up at the Temple together."

Hondo gave me a quick once over, then evaluated Obi-Wan the same way. Then, he smiled and held out his hand to me.

"Well, any friend of Obi-Wan's is a friend of mine! It is very nice to meet you, I'm sure!"

I forced a smile as I took his hand and shook it. I didn't think he'd meant to, but Honda had hit a very sore spot for me. I'd harbored feelings for my best friend for years now, against the Code, and I'd done my best every single day to hide them from him and from anyone else. A hundred Jedi who'd known me since birth couldn't tell, but this Weequay had hit the bullseye within moments of seeing me for the first time.

"Come on," Obi-Wan whispered to me, leaning in close to my ear so Hondo couldn't hear him as the Weequay moved past me into the ship. "The sooner we start this mission, the sooner it's officially over."

"Can't wait," I muttered. "And you said this guy was your friend?"

Obi-Wan shrugged. "More like... acquaintance who tries to kill me sometimes. Although I think he unironically considers me his best friend."

I smiled a little at that, especially as Obi-Wan moved into the ship after Hondo and Hondo immediately flung an arm around his shoulders and pulled him in. Based on the conversation I could hear as I brought in the ramp, Hondo was trying to convince Obi-Wan to sell him some of our Republic tech at a frankly ridiculous price. To no one's surprise (except maybe Hondo's), Obi didn't budge. He was remarkably gentle in his refusal, though.

After a brief challenge where Hondo insisted on piloting the ship and Obi-Wan had to convince him to sit in the passenger seat instead, we were on our way. With Hondo's help, we quickly found the pirate base we were looking for.

"Do you guys just constantly share locations with each other?" I asked as we came in for a landing not too far from the gates. Hondo shrugged.

"We do business with each other from time to time. Helps to know where your business partners are."

"Hm. Makes sense."

Hondo grinned at me. He clapped me on the shoulder and started walking down the ramp, and a moment later Obi-Wan took his place next to me.

"Don't turn your back on him," he warned. I turned, coming face to face with Obi-Wan. We'd known each other for most of our lives; I'd seen him a million times or more. But for this mission, we weren't in the typical Jedi robes, in an effort to go undercover. And seeing him standing next to me in a dashing pirate costume made my heart beat a little faster.

"Don't worry, I wasn't planning on it." Obi-Wan stared off after Hondo, his expression clouded, so I reached out and gently squeezed his shoulder. "We'll be fine, okay? We've survived everything we've gone through so far. What's a couple pirates?"

"The last time I interacted with pirates, Anakin and I ended up handcuffed to Count Dooku."

I laughed as we started strolling down the ramp together to catch up to Hondo.

"Well, if we find ourselves in a similar situation, I promise to make fun of Dooku even more than Anakin did with you."

"That, I would look forward to seeing." He sighed, nudging my shoulder with his just before we caught up to Hondo. "I suppose there's nothing left for us to do but dive straight in."

"Like you said. Sooner we start, sooner we get to go back to Cody and other, saner partners in crime."

"The fact that Anakin is significantly more rational and predictable than Hondo is... concerning."

I chuckled, and Obi-Wan and I shared a smile. Hondo clapped us both on the shoulders once we'd caught up with him at the door to the pirate's fort, and then we headed inside.

The next thing I remember, I was waking up on a concrete floor, my head pounding. I groaned, lifting one hand to my head, and to my surprise something dragged my other hand with it. I opened my eyes.

I was handcuffed. More than that, I was apparently handcuffed to someone else. I turned to my right to see Obi-Wan, already sitting up and looking at me.

"Good morning."

"What happened?"

"We were played." I sighed and flung my head back. All that talk about having each others' backs and not trusting Hondo, and it had been for nothing. "We were jumped as soon as we made it through the gates. Hondo turned us over and went to collect a bounty for us from the other pirates."

"Oh wonderful," I sighed, slumping back against Obi-Wan. My heart sped up a little bit at our close proximity, but unlike every other time we'd been close, this time I couldn't chicken out. It was lean against him, or very clearly, obviously, and uncomfortably lean away from him.

"I should've known we couldn't trust him," Obi-Wan said. "I just thought that this time we were prepared, so Hondo wouldn't be able to get one over on us. I should've known better."

"It's not your fault. Even I'd started to believe Hondo was honestly going to work with us for this mission. The fact that he'd already double-crossed us, before we even got on the ship..."

I trailed off, shaking my head. Obi-Wan sighed, and we spent a few moments leaning against the wall and each other, hands close together and heads resting against each other. I could've stayed like that for a long time, if we hadn't been sitting in a jail cell.

"So..." I finally started, still not moving an inch. "What did you do the last time you were in this situation?"

Obi-Wan sighed heavily. "Bickered with the Count, mostly. And made a few escape attempts. We would've been successful from the beginning had it not been for Dooku."

I huffed a small laugh. "Well, it's a good thing I'm here instead of him then, isn't it?"

"I truthfully can't think of anyone else I'd rather be stuck with."

We shared a smile, a warm feeling quickly dominating my chest. I couldn't quite stop myself from leaning forward ever so slightly, like Obi-Wan had his own gravity pulling me in. In this place, out of sight and temporarily forgotten by everyone else, being close to him didn't feel as scary as it did in the Temple or aboard the Negotiator.

To my immense surprise and delight, Obi-Wan leaned in too, a moment after me. He huffed a small laugh, his blue eyes sparkling.

"This is... probably a bad idea."

I didn't need to ask what he was talking about. I gave him a small smile and shrugged.

"No worse an idea than the one that got us in here in the first place."

"You certainly make a good point."

As one, we smiled and closed the remaining distance to each other, our lips meeting in a kiss I'd thought about a thousand times. It was even better than I'd imagined it would be, especially as I could feel Obi-Wan through the Force. My best friend, the man I'd loved a thousand different ways before I even really knew what the word meant, glowed with a happiness that matched mine.

No one had ever really found evidence that soulmates were real, despite all the mystical forces that did exist in the galaxy. But as I sat on the filthy floor of that cell and kissed my best friend, our energies twining together in the Force, I thought we'd come pretty close.

"Oh, this is very gross. And yet, it's exactly what I'd hoped to find."

Obi-Wan and I broke apart to find Hondo staring at us through the bars of the cell, a grin on his face. We fixed him with matching scowls.

"Come now, what are those looks for? You should be happy, look at the two of you!"

"Happy might be a stretch, since you double-crossed us," I said. Hondo's mouth dropped open and a hand flew to his chest.

"Double-crossed? No no no, I have done no such thing."

"Then why did we wake up handcuffed in a cell?" Obi-Wan demanded. "In my case, again."

"Ah, you see, it was all part of my brilliant plan!"

Obi-Wan and I shared a very, very skeptical look. Undeterred, Hondo pulled a ring of keys out of his pocket, still beaming at us.

"You thought the two of you, two Jedi, could actually sneak in here unnoticed? Ha! It never would have worked. So, I pretended to double-cross you, and while the two of you were in here admitting feelings for each other, I found your documents! After collecting the credits for turning you two over as prisoners, of course."

Obi-Wan and I stared, dumbfounded, as Hondo explained his plan and removed our handcuffs. We stood, helping each other up, both a little stunned that the Weequay had really outplayed everyone here.

"Come on, we must hurry," said Hondo, waving us after him as he headed for the cell door. "It won't take them long to figure out what we've done."

We spared one last shocked glance at each other, then hurried after Hondo through the winding halls of the pirates' lair.

"If you got your money and information, why did you come back for us?" asked Obi-Wan, suspicion dripping from his words. "Why not leave us to be cashed in for a bounty?"

I wanted to smack him for asking that question before we were safely back on our ship, but Hondo just turned to us, looking hurt and outraged that Obi-Wan would even suggest it.

"Kenobi, I am hurt! I would never do such a thing to such a good friend!" He turned, ignoring Obi's raised eyebrow as we at last made it out of the hideout. "Besides, there were no more credits to be gained by leaving you here. The only thing that would've happened was a profit for my competition."

I failed to fight off a smile. Now it all made sense.

Obi-Wan and I trailed just behind Hondo the last bit of distance to our ship, and cautiously, I slipped my hand into his. He gave it a gentle squeeze, turning to fix me with a small smile.

"You know this is going to complicate our lives beyond belief, don't you?"

"Yeah. But I think it's worth it. Our lives are already wildly complicated anyway."

Obi-Wan huffed a small laugh. "I agree."

"With which part?"

"All of it. But especially the part about this being worth it."

He gave my hand one last squeeze, and we shared another tender look before reaching the ramp of the ship and returning to business mode. I let Obi-Wan lead the way, and as I closed the ramp, I could already hear Hondo bargaining with Obi-Wan for credits in exchange for the information he'd retrieved while we'd been in the cell. Despite the exasperation on Obi-Wan's face and in his tone, I could still feel that glowing happiness radiating off of him in the Force, a mirror to my own. We were going to be just fine.

****************

Everything Taglist: @rosecentury

[belylakorick]

Homestuck characters at a 100 Gecs concert (headcanons)

Dave, an "ironic" enjoyer of their music who pitched the idea. He likes when it's unintelligible.

Terezi, an unironic fan of 100 gecs (sinner) who was VERY on board with the idea.

June, brought along against her will by Terezi (<3< type shit)

Karkat, there because Dave is there (<3 type shit)

Vriska, also dragged along by Terezi (<3<) "against her will" but is THE 100 gecs fan, plus June will be there (<3)

Nepeta, who came to keep her shipping charts up to date. The music is nice though.

Aradia also enjoys the parts where it becomes unintelligible noises. Big fan of the noise.

Equius is there because Nepeta asked him to come.

Eridan and Sollux both hate it but go anyways because they like complaining and being miserable together (idk maybe <3< or something)

Gamzee is banned from attending concerts due to previous events (he gets to stay home with the other, saner people)

Everyone else stayed home probably

Forgive me for any mischaracterizations. It's 1 am and I am tired.

[bonebabbles]

hello, Mist and Night

So on one hand, it frustrates me that they decided to make it that River's Ripple doesn't actually figure out anything on his own. He doesn't teach himself how to swim, how to fish, or how to really do anything with the river on his own.

“That’s an impressive name.” Amusement twinkled for a moment in Mist’s eyes. River Ripple gave a small purr, guessing what the tom was thinking. “I suppose you mean for a cat who can’t fish.” Mist purred. “I wasn’t going to say it.” Night slid past her brother. “We’re going to fix that,” she mewed. “Every cat should know how to fish.” She looked up toward the moor. “Unless you’d rather live up there.” -Riverstar's Home, Chapter 2

That's legitimately a huge waste, and ruins one of the most interesting aspects of his character. That he is a weird, mysterious dude with a UNIQUE connection to the river that he shares with others.

But, Night and her brother Mist are here. So I'm going to let out my frustration with a sigh, and just meet it where it is.

Night and Mist. River gurus. Ok. River's Ripple has activated Tutorial Mode.

I'm actually really glad that I went in with spoilers though, because if I didn't, I would have a serious distaste for Night knowing these writers. It's really rare that a female WC character is just allowed to be close to a male main without it being setup that they're going to get romantically involved later.

At the very least, I will give them a scrap of charitability for a platonic relationship. Though that won't stop me from pointing out if there IS frustrating ship-tease content.

So I'm going to appreciate it and analyze it, with the knowledge that there is a good conclusion in mind, and personally "grade" it based on having a platonic ending as a goal.

“Is that a trout too?” he whispered. “It’s a young carp,” Mist told him. “How do you know?” “Shape,” Mist breathed back. “And it’s alone rather than in a shoal.” River Ripple had never thought about fish before, but now he realized that they must be as different and individual as birds. He watched, hardly breathing, as the fish neared Night.

A crumb of fish knowledge is also nice to see. Points for this, actually. Unironically nice line about fish.

[catchyhuh]

terms of endearment. aw.

take this however you want, ship wise, self-insert wise, whatever, i’m just tired of reading fanfiction and going “NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! goemon would NOT say babygirl!!!!” like i'm the roger ebert of ao3. THAT’S ALL A JOKE BY THE WAY, I LOVE MY FELLOW CREATIVES I JUST HAVE TO SPEAK MY TRUTH,

lupin: lupin uses every name under the SUN if he personally deems it cute enough. nothing is too cutesy, too stupid, too overdramatic. do you know many people who unironically still say ‘lover?’ oh you do. my bad. but you get the point. it’s to the point that he rarely even doubledips. one day it’s darling the next it’s cutiepie and then some shit like. morning dove. mon petit chou-fleur.  the funny thing is that when he’s actually being sincere and truly one hundo percent overcome with love he tends to just say the person’s name. go figure

jigen: more a believer in the sarcastic petname than anything else. but i mean you knew that just look at how he talks to people when he knows he’s winning against them. that said it wouldn’t be hard to pull like, “baby” out of him. Babe. he’s not going too sugary though. sweetheart is his hard limit. AND DON’T GO GETTING TOO SAPPY ON HIM EITHER! he’ll accept petnames thrown his way. in private. keep that shit locked down he can’t have outsiders knowing he doesn’t gag when someone calls him handsome. unless it’s like a bit then he’s fine. he’s always down for the bit!

fujiko: ALSO uses a shit ton of them but has more standards for being taken seriously than lupin. so she’s not really getting POETIC with it, even if she does truly like the other person, she just keeps it nice and cute. honey usually comes up the most, both sarcastically and genuinely. she also strikes me as the type to have little names for someone based on their appearance, like… trying to think of an example. like… big… guy? or like. blondie? YOU CAN FIGURE IT OUT point being she keeps it very standard.

goemon: sorry. he doesn’t have too much fun with it. goemon’s idea of an affectionate nickname is just outright saying someone’s name as it is, no honorifics, no formalities. it’s like, intimate to him! more romantic than using some common term of endearment. however, on the opposite hand, as long as it wasn’t overdone he’d would be okay with, and eventually grow to LOVE being called cute names. again, won’t stand for anything too ridiculously silly, but he just melts internally when someone calls him darling or some shit.

zenigata: sorry he’s also boring :( i think part of it comes from just the total disconnect he has with. anything remotely romantic but unless he’s just. drunk? if he’s drunk it probably just slips out but OTHERWISE you’re not pulling a lot outta this guy. like goemon he thinks it's cute when someone else does it to him IF. if he likes them and it’s not in front of certain people. otherwise it's embarrassing. actually it's probably embarrassing for him either way he just tends to be very defensive about things. play your cards right you might get a cutie. and then he’d be mortified he said it

[yakumtsaki]

-S̷O̴ Y̷O̷U̴'̴R̵E R̷E̶A̵L̵L̴Y K̷N̴O̵C̴K̸E̵D U̵P A̷G̵A̸I̴N🧟 -I most certainly am! -A̵N̸D W̴H̵O̷'̶S G̸O̵N̵N̸A T̵A̵K̷E C̷A̶R̵E O̷F T̶H̸I̴S̸ O̸N̷E🧟 -Aw Sandy, I think you already know the answer to that question!

-I H̸A̴T̵E M̶Y "L̵I̶F̷E̵"🧟

Don’t worry Sands, I have just the thing to cheer you up-

-a new zombie friend! iVan hates Aiden so much he wasn’t satisfied with him dying horribly, so welcome back, Aiden!

-𝚈𝙴𝚂, 𝚆𝙴𝙻𝙲𝙾𝙼𝙴 𝚃𝙾 𝙴𝚃𝙴𝚁𝙽𝙰𝙻 𝚂𝚄𝙵𝙵𝙴𝚁𝙸𝙽𝙶. 𝙷𝙰 𝙷𝙰.

-Y̴O̵U R̵O̸B̸O̶T B̷A̶S̶T̶A̷R̴D, I̶’̵L̴L K̷I̸L̴L Y̵O̵U🧟

-I̴'̵L̴L K̵I̵L̴L Y̵O̷U T̷O̶O̴, M̴E̸T̶A̶L̷L̴I̵C A̴S̶S̶H̸O̷L̴E🧟‍♀️ -G̴E̴T H̷I̶M, S̸A̵N̴D̵Y🧟 -𝚁𝙾𝚃𝚃𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝙵𝙻𝙾𝙿𝚂, 𝙶𝙴𝚃 𝚈𝙾𝚄𝚁 𝙳𝙴𝙲𝙰𝚈𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝙷𝙰𝙽𝙳𝚂 𝙾𝙵𝙵 𝙼𝙴. -R̷I̷P H̷I̵S C̴O̷R̸D O̵F̴F🧟 -𝙵𝙰𝚃𝙰𝙻 𝙴𝚁𝚁𝙾𝚁. 𝙵𝙰𝚃𝙰𝙻 𝙴𝚁𝚁𝙾𝚁.

So it turns out Aiden is a romance sim, just like our girl, perfect match! Go on, Aiden, charm her!

-W̸A̸A̷A̶A̵H I HA̶T̶E B̴E̶I̴N̴G̸ ̵A Z̷O̶M̶B̸IE🧟 -W̵A̶A̴A̴A̶H ̸M̴E T̴O̶O̴🧟‍♀️

Ok Aiden, not what we were going for, buddy..

-M̷A̷Y̴B̶E W̶E C̸A̶N B̵E S̶A̷D Z̷O̸M̴B̶I̵E̸S..T̵O̸G̵E̷T̵H̸E̶R?🧟 -M̸A̵Y̷B̵E W̸E̸ C̷A̵N̴!🧟‍♀️

Awww he finally got his first kiss🧟💙🧟‍♀️

Boy did ACR get to work, I didn’t even have time to take off Sandy’s skilling helmet but whatever, I ship this, it’s so cute! 

CYNESWITH WTF

-How dare you sleep with someone else after I banged you once and then refused to kiss you 11 times, huhu?!?!?!🌸

Wow Cyn if I was you I’d be more upset about all the corpse bodily fluids on my bed.

-That’s it, I’m taking over Felina’s upbringing! I can’t have that dead slut anywhere near my grandchild! Why is she stinky?💗

She needs a diaper change, Cyn.

-Oh wow nevermind🌸

Sophito fulfills his second LTW, topping the architecture caree aka the most useless job in this neighborhood since we literally have no buildings. Amazing choice, Soph!

-Congrats bro, we’re the most successful people ever! -And the best at avoiding interaction with our children!  -Tell me about it, Spice literally thinks Wilfred is his dad! -Felina is about to become a toddler and I’ve never been in the same room as her!

I HATE YOU BOTH

And iVan tops the medical career, where I can only assume he worked as an eye laser. Congrats iVan, now that you’re permaplat it’s time to quit and go back to your actual job of being our butler because I don’t know how we’re gonna keep two kids alive otherwise.

-𝙵𝙰𝚃𝙰𝙻 𝙴𝚁𝚁𝙾𝚁. 𝙵𝙰𝚃𝙰𝙻 𝙴𝚁𝚁𝙾𝚁.

Nice try, get your ass to work.

Awww, very Iron Giant!

-Goo goo? -𝚂𝙷𝚄𝚃 𝚄𝙿.

Kitana gives birth to 3 beautiful Mortal Kombat kittens who I name Shinok, Sindel, and Shao-

-and all 3 of them have this completely deranged personality!

And Servilia gives birth to 3 puppies right after, who I name Valentino, Valeria, and Veronica and are thankfully not criminally insane. Welcome, babies!

It’s a nice calm night with a lot of elderly attic slow dancing and then I have.. an “””amazing””” idea. So because the lag was unreal with the new pets and I’m starting to feel unironically bad for Sandy, I decided now that she has found love it would be fun to get her and Aiden married and move them into the creepy Tricou house! Sounds good on paper, right? Right??

So I move them into the Tricou house and then I’m like man you know what would be even more fun?? Resurrecting the Tricous and making them vamps and then all the supernaturals can live in the big creepy house together! So I was googling how to resurrect them because I hadn’t done it in ages, and then I realize Don is literally a faux Tricou as one of Jon Smith’s lovechildren! So I’m like great, this is gonna be super easy!

So Sandy and Aiden are in the Tricou house, I move the graves that were in the cemetery to the house, I invite Don over and make him temporarily selectable, and he resurrects Jon! Then I send Don on his way back to our house and the rest of the Tricous resurrect each other and become vamps and I’m like great, we’re done here! So I return to our house where it’s time for Felina’s birthday-

-AND SEE THIS. WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU HERE

-You invited us🧛

I ABSOLUTELY DIDN’T

OH MY GOD FML

Because the lot wasn’t about-to-crash enough, it’s at this exact moment that Jojo and iVan decide to turn into werewolves.. 

..AND LIZ DECIDES TO GIVE BIRTH. ARE YOU KIDDING ME PEOPLE

It’s another ginger (HOW??) and this one’s a boy and his name is Bartholomew, but let me tell you this was the most overshadowed birth of all time, it’s a miracle I managed to take this pic. Welcome Bartholomew, sorry for your name but it was the only one I could think of in my panic!

Also completely overshadowed: Felina’s birthday because I was evicting the Tricous as it was happening. But here she is, she’s so cute! 

-Say hi to grandma, Felina!💗

Cyn ENOUGH.

And here’s Felina’s personality, it’s actually pretty ok for our standards?? Good job, baby!

It’s a new day after the Tricou hordes have been repelled and it’s time to play ‘how many members of this household will interact with the kids before their parents do’. I mean even Don is stepping up, this is EMBARRASSING.

-It’s ok Bartholomew, grandpa Don is here for you!🖤

OH GOD NOT YOU TOO

[mathlann]

🩷🖤🩶 for blorbo of your choice? 👀

From this ask game. I'll actually be nice and answer for Heinrix on this one. Prepare for a long one on the first answer, lol.

🩷 Why are they your favorite?

Heinrix is unironically one of my favorite companions in Rogue Trader. Because he's terrible. But he doesn't want to be. But he's also too much of a dogmatic Company Man to really understand how awful he is/can be. He's a walking HR violation anytime a Xenos is within three star systems. He's the loneliest motherfucker on this ship. I will divorce this clown in every lifetime, that is how much I love him.

First of all, his internalized everything makes him just, so crunchy. Like, he came from some of the highest nobility in the Imperium (Tech Edition) to rock bottom, to two shakes from regaining his "place" per se (Space CIA Edition). And some part of him knows that Calcazar is the only person keeping him between here, as a "somebody" and the abyss of being just another tool-psyker. And the way his journey to discovering the Truth is also the process of systemically dismantling his own sense of importance as part of Calcazar's inner circle.... Like yeah, he was the potential successor, didn't make him less of a dispensable pawn as the rest of them! So what was it all for?

And I think too how his hidden Iconoclast core shakes out is also really interesting because "Iconoclast" doesn't 1:1 mean "good person". Like he can and does show leniency in his Dogmatism with people of similar rank/protection as him (the RT, Jae) or people he can personally sympathize with (Idira, even tho it's insulting). And his romance is genuinely sweet, if bumpy. But at the same time he has a lot of anger in his heart and that gets expressed in ways that show some incredibly unnecessary cruelty to people he thinks are lesser (Vhaebos Prisoners, Yrliet, that one random guard). And he does not acknowledge that!!! Because he's a Space Racism Cop doing his job, which gives him a "get out of examining my issues free" card and Throne take him, he's gonna use it.

And on that latter bit, the other thing I really really love about Heinrix is how much a demonstrates how much the Inquisition really doesn't work as an institution? He's an acolyte of the Ordo Xenos, and his Xenos Lore is shit, which you'd think wouldn't be the case but, look at how he interacts with nominally friendly xenos like Yrliet. You go to Commorragh and he's like "idk...we gotta maybe use their politics against them" and then kicks up a holy fuss when you do that. He approves of busting Tervantias in that gate and later feeding Marazhai (your ally) to the daemon. Like okay, the Xenos are vanquished, Heinrix is the best boy. Don't worry about the multiple 5 star meals Slaanesh is eating because of it...that's not his department anyways. (Ordo Malleus Hates Him!)

He's just a special boy to me lol.

🖤 If they weren't from their source, what fandom universe do you think they would make the most sense in?

Heinrix could very much be A Guy in Dragon age. And I don't mean in the "he's like Cullen!" way, because he's not, at all, but in the sense that he would very much be a loyalist circle mage who's very invested in the Institution of the Chantry while still being tempted to break a few rules here or there (just him tho) y'know?

🩶 Alternatively, what fandom universe would they just perish in?

Saint's Row (or GTA, but I don't play those games). He's a cop at heart, the stress would wear him down even if he won't snitch immediately.

[beanghostprincess]

I honestly feel like shanks is the type of guy who needs everyone to like him and he will do anything and everything to get people to like him. If people do not like him i.e buggy he can't function properly, if someone doesn't like him then he did something wrong. He's flawed he's not the perfect child Rogers believed he was and he can't handle that .

Eventually he would obsess about that person and wonder why this person does not like him. What did he do wrong? Did he say something? What does he have to do to fix it?

He does this to buggy giving him gifts trying to make nice, joke with him laugh with him doing everything he can to get on his good side. But buggy sees right through it. He doesn't care about his feelings or his personal grievances.

Until shanks understands why he's upset with him he's not going to like him, all of the apologies and the gifts are hollow and only there to serve him and make him feel better than the actual person he's apologizing to.

I feel like the best example of this besides buggy is tartar sauce emotional support cat on the ship. In the beginning the cat really hated everyone besides its original owner and most of the crew understood that and respected their boundaries. And with that respect they earned affection and trust from said cat. But shanks who honestly did get most of the abuse from that cat could not really take that rejection at first. He would pester the cat you try to pet it you try to play with it he'd feed it he'd do anything to get tartar sauce's affection which ended up with scratches, hisses and scolding from yasopp.

When he eventually gave up and just kind of accepted that the cat did not him and nothing he did worked he just left them alone. Slowly Tartar sauce eventually started to go near him. He's not rubbing up against him or climbing onto his shoulders like the rest of the crew but he will allow shanks to be in his presence and accept a couple pets and nap on the bed from time to time

Unironically, cats are actually a really good method to learn about boundaries and read what other people want. So this isn't so crazy--

Also, Shanks being a people pleaser due to basically being a gifted kid when he was little because everybody thought he was perfect is actually a pretty good explanation for his character. He does seem to have a very severe savior complex too so I don't find it pretty accurate. It makes a lot of sense.

[anthonycrowley]

same anon w the braime fic - IM SO GLAD i also did the classic tv show > ao3 > actual asoiaf source text order of consumption lol i wasn’t sure if you were abstaining from fic till u read the books or smth idk but anyway. if u did a fic rec i would totally eat that up

braime dynamic is so far up my street u are so right about horny subtext + slow reveal emotional vulnerability, plus a side of enemies to lovers or like. prisoner/captor to reluctant allies to lovers. man i haven’t thought about them in so long… are there any other pairings in the show/books that u enjoy?

naaaah fuck that noise, no offense but i needed to be in the right mindset to read multiple thousand plus page books and i like fanfic. sorry. i guess. i’m here now. anyway.

i could talk about them but. god. clenches fist. i’ll go insane. and people will stop listening to my commentary. i think you got it except metatextually they are destiel. like what happened to destiel happened to them. two nickels. absolutely bonkers.

aaaaaand as far as other pairings. hm. i think largely i tend to gravitate towards character’s plotlines rather than ships - i find arya fascinating but not don’t really care all that much about gendarya, although i don’t mind it. - braime being the exception. or if i do find pairings interesting they’re usually more because of platonic reasons more than romantic. if i had to pick. hm. and before i say these we are going to remember this is the problematic ship book and i am not necessarily saying they are morally good just very fun to explore. jokes aside stavos has some hilson energy going on. what do you want from me. i think samgilly is cute (this is helped because sam is one of my faves). is it weird if i say robbjeyne is cute. jaimecersei i actually do enjoy in a these two are toxically codependent in a fun way and i wish people could explore it in a way that’s not incredibly black and white because there’s A Lot there. sansatyrion but i think that one might get me shot (and once she’s older preferably). robbtheon i get the appeal of and makes me insane to think about but i don’t like read fic for them. sansamargaery because sansa deserves nice things and i think they’d be good for each other. my hottest take i think is that jon and sam should explore each other’s bodies and i do feel this wholeheartedly and unironically. that’s all i can think of off the top of my head there’s so many fucking characters in this book. why are most of my ships straight. feels wrong. or maybe that’s just what happens when the female characters are good. idk.

[nat-20s]

Weird Girl Table <3

Here’s twenty different weird like quirks/personality traits/ hobbies you can give your female characters to give them a lil’ pizzaz. a lil spice. Feel free to roll on a d20 for selection or peruse at your leisure!

1. Has been low key trying to solve the JonBenét Ramsey  case for the past ten years. She is not into true crime overall and has no personal connection to the event. She just thinks it’s a thing she should do.

2. Has a slightly concerning PhD level knowledge of parasitology. Bonus points if she’s not involved in science in any other way.

3. Keeps newts and lizards in her pockets, will give one to you if you have her favor or are like. A really nice cashier

4. Refuses to wear clothes that are not made of Lycra.

5. Has an unironic love and passion for eating objectively disgusting foods. Frequently cooks those wack gelatin based recipes from like 1950s

6. Personal life motto is “memento mori”. Bonus points if she’s not goth in any other way

7. Meant it when she said #scenekid4lyfe. Will truly be scene for life

8. Her pipe dream is to be in Jackass she thinks she DESERVES it

9. Has a “thing” about glass eyes. You get to decide what “thing” means

10.She simply cannot resist the siren’s call of ridiculous roadside tourist traps. She will go two hours out of everyone’s way to go see the largest ball of twine or whatever

11. Will sometimes use a Russian accent for several days at a time. She is in no way Russian.

12. Her second language is one she made up with a childhood best friend and she is EXTREMELY fluent in it. The language has LORE and GRAMMAR and SEMANTICS that would make Tolkien weep.

13. Has such a strong inflation fetish it’s genuinely interfering with her day to day life

14. Has such a strong inflation phobia it’s genuinely interfering with her day to day life

15. She’s working on the process of slowly turning her house into a theme park. It is not going well.

16. Makes shipwrecks in a bottle. Personally wrecks the ship herself via water and shaking after completing the regular ship.

17. Is a respected breeder of an unconventional animal. Dealer’s choice on what said animal is. Again, bonus points if nothing else about her is animal related.

18. Has a VERY successful etsy shop making photo-realistic genitalia (and occasionally other organs but mainly genitalia) out of polymer clay + resin

19.Religiously devoted to the idea of Atlantis being real and filled with merpeople. Hates the Disney movie atlantis because if you have to go FIND atlantis you don’t truly have faith in Atlantis

20. A groupie but not for a band. A groupie for the openings of office supplies stores. Like goes on roadtrips for them. She rarely buys anything from said stores except maybe t-shirts

[angkis]

your butchlander piece is so nice! lol homelander looks a little like chris pine to me but it's so beautifully done and he's definitely enjoying that pain❣️ and that superbat one had me 👀 I must admit.

hey do you mind if i suggestively wonder if you might just be interested in a tsun tsun bratty bossy bottom billy butcher? homelander's such a misbehaved service dog but billy's so damaged deranged and yippy it has me 👀👀👀🔥🔥👀🔥🥵🥵🔥🔥👀 like he needs a good prostate 👀👀 you have no idea. literally called himself an alpha male unironically like bitchy butchy you are a total bottom

plus the fact that super dicks have no refractory period and can be vibrated??

ugh ignore me lovely work 😘😘❣️❣️

Ahh Thank You so much!! I'm happy you like the drawing and that you like this ship in general! 😳🙏💕

YOU MADE ME THINK JUST NOW because that sounds so hot ohmygod I can't believe I haven't thought of this possibility-Thanks for opening my eyes 👁️👁️👁️👁️

Misbehaved service dog ygsgfsgssgsg sobbing. I love that. Yes he is.

Maybe I was a little too respectful towards Butcher with that first piece. /j sggssgshsh Maybe he just deserves to get dicked down. The more I think about it the more I like the idea damn Remember this when you see me drawing anything like that because it's gonna be your fault!! 😩💫

To be perfectly honest, I'm in a period where I try to draw as many different characters I was ever interested in as possible because I've been feeling a little overly self-conscious about my style and anatomy and stuff /like my style is becoming very stagnant. /(that's why my page is all over the place rn 😳) I watched this show last year and I loved it but I wasn't drawing much at that time. I thought it's only gonna be one single fanart *for this experimenting period* from The Boys but I got way too deep so quickly, it's insane. There's definitely more to come. 💀🙏❤️

[runninguplenorahills]

I hate how El has become that character in a fandom where the second you say anything that isn't absolute unabashed praise about her, people lose their minds.

The characters from the show are interesting because they were written to have faults. There's nothing appealing about a character who is written as this perfect angel. But for some reason, there are fans who want to treat El that way.

Honestly, I think it's done in part to deter people from criticizing Mleven. If you can't have an intelligent conversation about the character that involves saying anything even remotely negative about El, you can't truly analyze her character or her relationships.

Since all of the arguments for Mleven require people to purposely see everything only at a surface level (the second you look at any details the scenes fall apart,) this deters people from looking into things and having discussions. If you can be called ableist just for pointing out that El didn't have a typical childhood or chauvinistic just for saying she doesn't need a boyfriend, people are going to be scared to write anything that actually could be critical about her or the ship.

Yes exactly!! It’s so frustrating because people start dismissing real human flaws and emotions for El. And it simply does not make any sense to me because exactly those human flaws and emotions are what makes a character good! Because real people have flaws and therefore the flawed characters are just more relatable to the audience!

But the funniest thing to me is how most bylers rant about how melvins go absolutely ballistic whenever we point out El’s flaws but then they go exactly as insane when other bylers point out Will’s flaws!! And it pisses me off even more because as you said, most people who pretend El doesn’t have flaws are melvins who take everything at surface level. For them, everything is as flat as cardboard, the story, the characters, the relationships, etc. So it really is no wonder that they’ll deny that El has flaws and dismiss her very human emotions in favor of putting her on this pedestal of perfection. There never was any room for a good conversation with a melvin anyway but with bylers??? We all look below the surface! We all peek behind the curtain! We all explore the different facets of plot, characters and relationships! But somehow there are still people who unironically dismiss Will’s flaws!?!???

And it’s just so incredibly frustrating to see Will’s jealousy portrayed on screen and some bylers will still argue that Will doesn’t get jealous, he’s just hurt ……which honestly makes me question if they even know what jealousy is?? Anyway, my point is that while jealousy is not a nice emotion and therefore seen as a flaw, it is literally one of the most basic and natural human flaws there is!!! It’s literally so fucking normal to get jealous sometimes and especially in Will’s situation!! Literally, who the fuck wouldn’t have gotten jealous??? Will’s jealousy in those moments is the most appropriate emotion for what’s happening!! But some people see jealousy as such a negative emotion that they totally dismiss that their poor flawless baby Will could ever feel such a thing 😤. But then they turn around and go: “hmm yeah but Mike actually gets sooooo jealous”, because putting Will on a pedestal of perfection goes hand in hand with letting Mike rot in the abyss and assign every negative emotion to him, AND IT’S SO FUCKING INFURIATING!!!

Simply because the thought behind making a character flawed is that the audience can relate to it! They can relate to having those flaws, and so seeing characters like Will being flawed shows the audience that your flaws do not determine wether you’re a good or a bad person!! It shows you that your flaws do not determine who you are and that even the best people have flaws too because that’s natural!! So dismissing a character’s flaws with the argument that they’re “too good for flaws”, and assigning all the flaws to another character because they’re “bad like that” literally defeats the whole fucking purpose!!!

None of these characters are defined by their flaws! Will isn’t, El isn’t and Mike isn’t either!!!! All three of them were acting like total shitheads at the first day of spring break but none of their actions of that day define who they are as people!! And the world will only know peace once everyone finally gets that by saying a character was being a dick in a certain situation we do not mean to say that they’re overall a bad person!!

The people who feel such a need to dismiss every flaw their favorite character has should maybe question wether they actually like that character or just an idealized version of them!!

[lewis-winters]

If there comes a Sherlock-esque fic for BoB... Who would be Sherlock and Watson between

1. Lewis Nixon and Dick Winters

2. Carwood Lipton and Ron Speirs

3. David Webster and Joe Liebgott

And what kind of Sherlock and Watson on each ship.

I love how this is worded like you're running a survey for an upcoming fic you're making anon HAHAHAHHAA are you 👀👀👀👀??? I'll be keeping my eyes peeled.

1) Winnix

Lew is Sherlock of course. It's the addictive personality. You could probably do something very Elementary-esque with this one, and have Dick come into his life as his sponsor. People forget that in-canon, Lew may have been lazy but he was brilliant, a damn fine intelligence officer, and Dick himself said that. The only thing you're gonna have to explain away is his laziness and his motives for wanting cases.

I guess you just have to also remember that every iteration of Sherlock Holmes is always driven by a search for the truth. Not justice, mind you, though that's my personal interpretation of the character. I prefer my Sherlocks to operate outside of the scope of Lawful Good, and I think Lew's iteration of him would, too. Which I think would be perfect for a Sherlock Holmes!Lewis Nixon iteration, because something about him just SCREAMS chaos. And also his upbringing would lend that world view some credence.

Literally, I could see him as the embodiment of "I'm of the opinion that people shouldn't go to jail for objectively funny crimes." Which would clash with Dick's sense of justice nicely, especially if you'd like some commentary, in text, about police brutality and the failures of the justice system. They would clash, with Dick being an ex-military man and Lew being... whatever he is. But I also think Dick becomes kinda blind to Lew's shortcomings, I mean. He always has. He's definitely the kind of Watson who thinks, unironically, that Nix is the smartest person in the room. And Dick's blind faith in him could probably pull Nix out of the grave he's found himself dug into. He would always want to be the type of man who deserves someone like Dick Winters. WHICH now that I think about it, would be a VERY interesting motivation for him to solve mysteries, as it were.

2) Speirton

Ronald Speirs. And this Sherlock WOULD be a cop. Lmao, sorry Ron, but like even in canon Ron is following rules to a tee because that's how he sees the world and that's how he knows, for sure, that he's going to keep the people he cares about safe. That's why his reactions to Carver was a big thing right? I've already said it before, but his sudden deviance from order and chain of command in episode 10 (when in all the other episodes the worst he'd been doing was stealing) was his whole breakdown and an illustration of how the war was capable of fucking even his unerring moral compass/alignment. But I digress.

His Sherlock would be a cop. I say that with as much love in the world as I could (lmao ACAB amirite). If Lewis' Sherlock was anti-copaganda, Ron's would be copaganda the likes of Law-&-Order. You could go down that road too and make Lip like... the ADA who thinks he's brilliant, despite how unorthodox his methods may be, and works hard to transcribe Ron's deductions into something that could feasibly hold up in court. Ya know? Have fun with it!

3) Webgott

David Webster. And this Sherlock is AUTISTIC as they all fucking come. He's a disaster. His morbid curiousity gets him off the wrong foot with everyone he meets. He's an asshole. His flat is a disaster only he can navigate. He has body parts in his fridge. Dangerous chemicals in his cupboards. He is the embodiment of every picked upon nerd in high school except he is a grown ass man with a PhD under his belt. He's an anarchist but he was also raised rich. He doesn't like to do his own dishes because he touched wet food once and it sent him into sensory overload so bad he switched all his plates to disposable ones.

In contrast, Joe's Watson would be much like the Watson from that russian Sherlock Holmes-- no not the 1980 version, the 2013 one, where Sherlock is a nerd with glasses and there's an emphasis on Watson's POV and his motivations as someone who is a doctor AND a soldier. It was really interesting, actually, and you should give it a watch! Anyway, Joe's Watson is definitely a fighter. You will not forget his Army background. You will not forget that this man has seen Horrors. You will not forget that this man is brilliant, too, just in different ways. He sees things Web misses, but he also gives credit to Web where credit is due. However begrudgingly he might do it.

Their coupling would be like two sides of a coin, or two puzzle pieces, I think, but they'd have a rough start. Web's too arrogant, Joe's too tightly wound. They fight a lot, because Web's been alone for so long that he's forgotten to share, forgotten how to articulate himself well enough for another person to understand-- but that's the thing. Joe Knows him in ways Web thought he'd been above wanting. Web doesn't quite understand Joe, but the fact that he's so willing to try despite being so difficult, previously, is not lost on Joe, either. They both say trust is difficult for them to cultivate but they trust each other explicitly, almost as soon as they meet each other-- which annoys them to no end. They literally DO NOT want to think about how quickly the other has become their ride and die because they'd rather bitch about it than have any self-reflection, bless them. But you can't deny that their Old Married Couple vibes is there from the beginning.

Their Final Problem would be devastating. Just saying.

[bohemian-rhapsody-in-blue]

Bebop Crew July Challenge, Day 2: Summer Nights

Thanks to the @bebopcrew community for the prompt list! This one is, of course, inspired by the song “Summer Nights” from Grease. Takes place post-finale.

Summer lovin’, had me a blast…

Summer lovin’, happened so fast…

Faye swore she usually had more sophisticated tastes than the almost-a-century-old film about teenage greasers in the 1950s, peppily singing and dancing their way through high school friendships and romances. Grease, she admitted, was a bit of a guilty pleasure for her, and she knew she’d probably be subject to merciless teasing if any other members of the crew caught her watching it unironically. But she stood by her love of the movie, embarrassing as it may have been.

She knew, of course—she knew very well from experience—that the real world wasn’t like the one portrayed in Grease; it didn’t have musical numbers and dance-offs and perfect happy endings where people’s cars inexplicably took off flying into the sky. (Although she supposed maybe her Red Tail counted…) The real world was filled with hard times, bad luck, scammers and con artists you couldn’t trust. The real world, put simply, sucked. But sometimes it was nice to pretend.

And at the end of a long, crappy day like today—when her bounty heads had all gotten away, her horses had all lost, and to top it all off, there was nothing good to eat anywhere on the ship—it was nice to watch something calming, familiar, silly, that would let her relax and turn off her brain. Particularly when she was in the optimal viewing position: alone, curled up on her bed, with headphones connected to the TV and jammed firmly over her ears. It especially helped if she had a drink or two to go with it, too. (Because of course the ship had that.)

“Damn, Faye,” came a voice, “didn’t realize you were actually twelve years old.” Faye turned in surprise to see Spike standing in the doorway, a sideways grin on his face.

She was going to destroy these headphones.

“Oh, are you talking about this absolute cinematic masterpiece I’m watching?” she said lightly, taking off her headphones so they hung around her neck, but letting the movie continue to play in the background. She knew this whole song by heart anyway, not that she’d readily admit that to Spike. Now that her headphones were off, she could tell they didn’t block out noise very well—stupid cheap things—and the movie’s sounds were quite easily audible through their tinny speakers even when they were plugged in. The T-Birds and the Pink Ladies crooned faintly underneath her words. Tell me more, tell me more….

“This music is giving me diabetes just from listening to it,” Spike complained.

Faye grinned. “Your tastes just aren’t sophisticated enough to appreciate it.” She may have dreaded her crewmates’ teasing, but she could give as good as she got.

Spike made his way to Faye’s bed and leaned over her shoulder to look at the movie. A few minutes passed quietly this way, with Spike furrowing his brow, a vaguely confused expression on his face as he took in the action. Finally, he broke the silence. “There’s no way these actors are high schoolers,” he said, jabbing his finger at Rizzo on the screen. “I mean, how old’s that one? 30?”

“I notice you haven’t stopped watching.”

“I just wanna see how stupid it is,” Spike protested. But, just as Faye said, he didn’t stop watching. He kept looking over Faye’s shoulder, leaning against her bedpost in that casual way of his. He was mostly silent except for the occasional, “Who’s that?” and “What’s with that ridiculous getup?” and “Oh, god dammit, they’re singing again?”

Faye found it strange to watch her designated Movie For Bad Days with Spike in the room, judging it all. But she duly fended off his comments: “That’s Frenchy, she’s one of the Pink Ladies”; “You mean that beautiful getup, and it’s from like 120 years ago anyway”; “It’s a musical, Spike, not a snooze-ical. Now shut up, I wanna hear this.”

At one point, Spike pointed to Danny Zuko and asked, with a sly, joking smile, “You think I could pull off that look?”

“As if there was enough grease in the world to tame your hair like that.”

“Find me a pair of leather pants,” he said, “and I’ll get back to you.”

“The real question is, could you dance like that,” said Faye.

“Could I? Sure,” Spike answered. “Would I? With all those weird-ass pelvic thrusts? You couldn’t pay me.”

Faye smiled; she couldn’t help herself. “That’s kinda what you look like when you’re fighting.”

“Please.” Spike shook his head and turned away. “Zucchini or whatever his name is wishes he could do it like me.”

At another point, he blurted out incredulously, “You have this shit memorized?” and Faye realized she’d been unconsciously mouthing the lyrics to one of the songs, matching it word-for-word. She hadn’t even noticed she was doing it.

“You know the exact order of all those tracks on Jet’s favorite Charlie Parker album,” she rejoined.

“I’d better,” Spike grumbled, “after he’s subjected me to it all those times.” Then he looked at her, his brow furrowed again. “How many times have you watched this?”

“Maybe I’m just a genius,” she said, “with a photographic memory. And I can learn things by heart after only seeing them once.”

Spike snorted. “And that’s why you’re so great at blackjack.”

“Screw you, Spike,” she said, taking another swig of alcohol and turning her attention back to the screen.

A few minutes of silence passed before she spoke again.

“I watched this as a kid,” she said, her voice quieter as she reminisced. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed Spike leaning in a tiny bit closer to listen. “My friends and I did a cheerleading routine to Greased Lightning one year, and we performed it at our school’s end-of-year exhibition.” Her face split into a surprisingly soft grin at the memory. “One of my friend’s moms showed us the actual movie, and after that we watched it so many times that we memorized all the songs, not just Greased Lightning, and we’d act them out when we were bored. God, we made up whole dance routines to them.” She gave a small laugh. “We must have looked so ridiculous. There weren’t enough of us for all the roles, so usually one of us was all of the T-Birds at once, and one of us was all the Pink Ladies. It’s one of the memories that came back.”

She wasn’t usually this unguarded, especially not when she talked about herself, and especially not when she recalled another snatch of memory about her past life. It usually just brought back what had been taken from her, what would never be again. It felt like physical pain, like jabbing at a bruise or a gunshot wound that hadn’t fully healed.

She wasn’t sure what had changed today. Maybe it was the alcohol. Or maybe it was as if the wound was finally starting to scar over. Her past memories no longer always came with the sharp pang of the reminder of what she didn’t have. Now, she could recall the happiness of back then, too, and just appreciate it for what it was.

Or maybe it was because she wasn’t entirely friendless anymore. Although she’d never consider doing a choreographed dance routine to Greased Lightning with the friends she had now. (Then again, it did make her laugh to imagine Spike forced into what he’d called “that ridiculous getup,” a deep scowl on his face as he halfheartedly performed the movements.)

What mattered was that her friends were there. In a way, they’d always been there, there on the Bebop—the place she’d flitted into and out of at will, the place she’d refused to ever truly consider a home, the only place left for her after every place she remembered from her childhood was destroyed. After spending so long on the ship with Spike and Jet and Ed and Ein—these people who didn’t abandon her, even if they left for a while—she was just beginning to appreciate that.

Spike appeared to consider her words for a while, looking surprisingly thoughtful, pensive. Faye wondered if he was imagining what she must have looked like as a kid, twirling and dancing around with her friends. She’d only been a year or two younger than when she’d recorded the VHS for her future self, after all.

Then, abruptly, his face snapped back into its usual cool, lazy expression. “So…you’re not a genius with a photographic memory.”

“Maybe I just had to watch it once back then to memorize it,” she said, her light tone returning as well. “And how do you know I’m not a genius? Sixty years is a long time to keep something in your head, you know.”

That was another sign she was recovering from having lost her memories and then gotten them back. She could joke about it. The wound didn’t feel too fresh, too raw. The realization made her heart feel light.

“Now shut up,” she said, a faint smile on her face. “I wanna watch.”

Spike rolled his eyes, but obligingly shut up. But he did elbow Faye, prompting her to scooch over, and then clambered onto her bed next to her, leaning over to see the screen without touching her. Faye didn’t kick him off.

And together—Spike with his knees drawn up to his chest, Faye mouthing and sometimes softly singing all the lyrics she could remember, both of them taking alternating swigs from the bottle between them—they watched.

Summer dreams ripped at the seams,

But oh, those summer nights….

[adenei]

Ch 1 - Never Really Over

*Deep breaths*

Soooo I've been working on a new multi-chap romione fic since April. Have kept it pretty quiet aside from my betas who have been wonderful with their help and support because let's be real, finding time to write and allow yourself to become invested in a hobby with an infant is HARD. But that's a whole other slew of issues for another day. You're here for the fic (I assume), so let's get back to that.

I love the direction this is taking, and am super proud of the idea and its development. I think I'm known a lot for taking existing stories/movies/etc and twisting them to fit a ship in an AU, but this one is all me - yay proving to myself that I CAN have original ideas!

It is an American Romione AU in a modern setting.

Summary:

Hermione Granger is a modern woman who doesn’t need to find love for self-fulfillment. Not that finding love is even an option anymore. Her perfect love story has come and gone with the one who got away—sorry, the one who disappeared is more like it.

That fake fairy tale is all well and good until Ron Weasley, the man who ruined everything, suddenly turns back up in her life with no explanation whatsoever. It seems his only goal is to show up wherever she is, attempting to undo the walls she’s built around her heart after he shattered it into a million tiny pieces. But Hermione’s determined not to let him in. With the help of her best friends and an online dating site that promises users their very own ‘happily ever after,’ she sets out to move on from her first love for good. 

After a few misses, Billy slides into her inbox, a sweet, genuine, fun-loving guy who’s easy to talk to and fills Hermione with the hope that perhaps love isn’t off the table after all. Seemingly overnight, she’s gone from perpetually single to balancing a love triangle on a fine, fine line. The deeper she gets, the harder she realizes it’s going to be when she has to choose. The last thing she wants to do is break anyone’s heart—her own included.

So, without further ado, I give you the first chapter of Never Really Over.

Read on AO3

But once in a while I trip up and I cross the line, and I think of you

Work ᐧ a ᐧ hol ᐧ ic (noun) a person who compulsively works long and hard hours.

God, I hate the connotation of that word. And yet it still burns into my mind, distracting me from—unironically—the article I’m trying to finish up at my desk. Am I three months ahead of the current deadline? Maybe. But that doesn’t mean anything. There’s nothing wrong with having backups just in case. It shouldn’t classify me as a workaholic.

Because I’m not.

It’s only haunting me because my brain has a sick and twisted sense of humor. It clearly refuses to follow my strict list of off-limit thoughts, cementing the chokehold the word has on my life.

Ugh. Why am I letting this bother me anyway? I’m Hermione Granger, a capable, independent woman who is perfectly happy with her life right now. A twenty eight-year-old with a house of her own, a career she’s passionate about, and the five best friends a girl could ask for thanks to fate bringing us together during freshman orientation at Kearney University. The memory brings a smile to my lips. What more could one want?

And then the frown returns when I remember that I’m sitting alone in the office on a Friday evening and self-doubt trickles in. If I’m being honest, there’s a lot more I want. Like love. Finding the love of my life would be nice. I thought I’d at least be married by now, and maybe have one kid by the time I turned thirty. Not that I’m a traditional woman by any means. I’m about as modern as they come. It’s just…

No. You’re not allowed to think about him, remember?

Except it’s really hard not to think about him. Especially when that damn word keeps flashing in my mind while I sit here on weekend time, finishing an article that’s nowhere near due. But it doesn’t matter. That inside joke died a long time ago. I stopped finding the word endearing the moment I realized he was no longer in my life. Now if only my brain would get the memo.

I shake my head, brunette curls flying around as I try to refocus on the cursor blinking in front of me. It’s still a tough pill to swallow, but I’ve long since given up on love—or so I’m telling myself. Romantic companionship clearly isn’t in the cards for me, so I turn to the one thing that will never let me down: writing. And right now, I’m only a couple of paragraphs away from completing a lovely little piece on the hidden gems of Bora Bora—the things they won’t tell you in the travel guides.

A long, deep breath helps me push those intrusive thoughts away and brings me back to the salty ocean air and the calm lapping of the waves. If I concentrate long enough, I can feel the sparkling white sand between my toes, and it’s enough to catapult me right back into the article—until my phone rings two minutes later.

I don’t want to answer, but it’s Hannah Abbott, my best friend, and she’s always there for me when I need her. The least I can do is return the favor. Plus, the creative juices are no longer flowing thanks to the interruption, so I may as well see what she wants.

With a swipe right to answer, I do my best not to sound annoyed. “Hello?”

“Where are you?!” Hannah cries, though her voice sounds hushed, like she’s hiding in a closet or something.

“Finishing up an article at work. Why?”

“Unbelievable,” she grumbles, more to herself than to me. “Hermione, I’m going to let you think about why I’m calling for a second and see if you can put the pieces together.”

“What are you talking about?” I’m not in the mood to play this game, but I adjust the phone and hold it against my shoulder so I can lift my laptop and check my desk calendar.

August first. Friday. The day I try to forget. But then I see the periwinkle writing at the bottom of the square.  Harry and Neville’s birthday party.

Remember the strong support system I mentioned earlier? The freshman orientation group turned lifelong friends? Harry Potter and Neville Longbottom are part of that, along with Hannah, of course, and Seamus Finnigan and Lavender Brown. We never miss anyone’s birthdays, and Hannah knows that.

“Shit! Shit, shit, shit! How could I forget?”

Hannah sniggers at me. “Yes, how could you forget? Hermione, I don’t know if it’s because you love your job so much that you’re willing to stay late on a Friday, or because of what day it is, but—”

“We’re not talking about that. I’m leaving now. I’ll be there in fifteen minutes.”

I slam my laptop shut and shove it in my bag a little too haphazardly. I’m already closing my office door by the time Hannah responds again. “Right…”

She’s clearly contemplating whether to push the subject or let it go. After all, she’ll have all night to try and grill me on it, but she knows better. We don’t talk about what happened on August first. Ever.

And just to make sure she doesn’t go there, I try to swing the conversation back to the guys. “Have they noticed I’m not there yet?” 

“Well, considering it’s a small gathering of our closest friends—all of whom are already here because the party started an hour ago—yeah, they’ve noticed.”

“Ugh, I’m sorry, okay? I just—”

“—Got caught up with whatever article you’re working on? I know, I know. You’re lucky it’s only their twenty-eighth birthday and not the big three-oh.”

“Come on, Han, this is one tiny mistake and I feel terrible. You don’t need to make it worse. I’m never late, you know that! And I would never miss something as big as their thirtieth birthdays. Especially not since we’ve already got a running list of themes and ideas going. Just—give me a break, okay? I’ll be there soon. I’m almost to the car now.”

“Alright.” Hannah sighs. There’s a stilted pause and I wait, knowing there’s something else she wants to say, and I brace for the lecture about my workaholic tendencies and what it relates to. Damn psychology major.

“Listen, Hermione, there’s something you should—” But after a long day of reflecting on it, I don’t want to go there right now.

“See you in fifteen, bye!” I hang up the phone before she can finish her sentence. She tries this every year. You’d think after six years she’d let it go. But no, she thinks that one of these days I’ll finally talk about it. Well, she can keep trying, but it’s not going to happen. That part of my life is over and it’ll only hurt more to bring it back up. 

⚭

It takes me a little longer than fifteen minutes, but that’s to be expected with D.C. traffic. Once I’m parked outside Hannah and Neville’s house, I quickly do a once-over on my appearance. Thanks to the mid-summer humidity, my hair is frizzier than when I tamed it into its half-ponytail this morning. It’s too bad my incessant need to run my fingers through the curly strands does nothing to combat its flyaway tendency. I guess I’ll just have to deal with yet another pitch from Lavender to let her help me with my nonexistent beauty regimen. Perks of having a beautician for a friend. 

Prying my eyes away from the visor mirror, I get out of the car and look down at the pale yellow eyelet sundress I put on this morning. There are definite wrinkles and creases from sitting at my desk all day, but what can I do? At least my mascara isn’t running down my face and I don’t have sweat stains under my arms. That’s more than presentable for a backyard barbeque after working all day. Kudos to whoever chose that over some fancy dinner.

Not that my friends would care. They’ve always accepted me for who I am. Sure, I’ll never hear the end of being late tonight, but at least I made it, and in their company,  I’ll be able to accomplish the one thing I’ve struggled with all day: taking my mind off of him.

Faint sounds of laughter echo as I walk up the path to the front door and let myself in. A ‘happy birthday’ sign hangs from the ceiling in the foyer, and red and gold balloons litter the floor leading to the kitchen. Of course they’d deck out the place with the colors of our alma mater—I wouldn’t expect anything less. 

“Hey, I’m here! And sorry I’m late, you know how work is,” I call to a seemingly empty house. 

I poke my head into an empty living room before heading back to the kitchen, where I find Seamus pulling a beer out of the fridge. Everyone else must be out back.

“Well, well, well, look who finally decided to show up.”

And so it begins. 

Rolling my eyes, I grab a wedge of gouda off the picked over charcuterie board on the counter. “You say that like I intended to show up almost two hours late. I lost track of time.”

That was sort of the truth. After all, I couldn’t tell Seamus I forgot, he’d never let me live it down. Seamus is usually the one who gets called out on things. His affinity for pyrotechnics has created many occasions for us to give him hell, and you can guarantee between the five of us, we never let him live a single one down. So I guess I can’t blame him when he doesn’t miss a beat now the tables are turned.

Which is why I’m not surprised he isn’t letting me off the hook yet. With a snort, he tries to call my bluff. “C’mon, Hermione. We all know you love working so much that you’d skip out on weekends if you could. You don’t have to lie.” And then, to make things weirder, he looks around and lowers his voice to add, “You can tell me the truth about why you’re late. It’ll be our little secret.”

My face scrunches up before I have a chance to control its reaction. Why does he care so much? 

“I…I don’t know what you mean. I really did lose track of time, Shay. Why are you acting so strange?”

A scowl crosses his face as he sets his beer down on the white speckled quartz. He eyes the back deck before lowering his voice and says, “Because I’ve got a bet going with Lav and Nev on whether you were going to show or not.”

“Whether I was going to—why wouldn’t I show? Honestly, it’s not my fault I got wrapped up in research and writing an article all day and then forgot I had plans tonight! Do you guys bet on my predisposition to get lost in my job and failure to show up to events often?” 

I’m so bewildered by the fact that there’s a bet that I don’t even care about letting my forgetfulness slip. Do I need to reconsider how genuine these friendships are? Does this happen often? Are my friends not as supportive as I thought they were?

I open my mouth to ask as much, but clamp it shut when I see the wide-eyed, pale shock cross Seamus’s face. His reaction is far more severe than it should be and now I’m really confused. He spins around and opens the fridge, rummaging around until he pulls out a mango White Claw—my favorite.

Things are getting more suspicious by the second, and I need to know what is going on. “Seamus, what—”

“Here.” He opens the can with a loud crack and hands it to me. “You’re going to need this.”

Oh, come on. “Seriously? You know I don’t care if I’m already three drinks behind.”

“Well, you might this time…” he mumbles before nodding to the door. “Come on, everyone’s out back. I’m sure they’ll be excited to know you finally made it.”

Okay, what is happening? I try not to let my jaw drop as my mind works to decode this odd behavior. Seamus has always been the one with the crazy ideas and adventurous spirit. There’s not a cryptic bone in his body. If anything, he’s always impulsive and up-front with his intentions.

All I can do is shake my head and follow, giving up on trying to make sense of anything. I take a few quick swigs and step through the sliding glass door that Seamus left open for me. Lively conversation comes from my left, where everyone is sitting around the patio table. I prepare myself for more endless teasing as I shut the door behind me, but instead, the chatter dies to a sudden silence. More peculiarity. 

Did I spill something on myself and miss it? No, Seamus would have said something. Or are they really just that shocked about my late arrival? I’m about to ask as much until I look up and see an all too familiar shade of red hair sitting at the table with his back toward me.

Despite the eighty-degree weather, my body breaks into a cold sweat. I’ve spent six years pretending he doesn’t exist anymore. Six years trying to forget that part of my life, convincing myself that he wasn’t the person I thought he was. That he wasn’t ‘the one.’ 

Everyone else’s expressions mirror my shock when they realize I didn’t know he was going to be here, though Hannah’s contains a tiny wince that’s meant to say, ‘I tried to warn you.’ And their reactions are enough to make Ron Weasley, my ex-best friend, ex-confidante, and ex-lover, turn around.

Seeing his face unfreezes my body from its current awkward stance. Anger and hurt burst through the gates that I’ve worked so hard to keep locked up as our eyes meet. In slow motion, my hard seltzer clatters to the ground, soaking my feet and wedge leather sandals in the sticky, bubbly liquid as I try to find my voice. 

As if this paradox couldn’t become any more ironic, he actually seems excited to see me. He opens his mouth to say something, but I’ll never know what since I manage to cut him off with the only scathing question that I can possibly think of. 

“What are you doing here?”

[linklethehistorian]

linkle i must confess something what if i told you bully anon nd person who sent the ask u JUST responded 2 are irl wives.......

except bully anon is also verlainewednesday AND my wife ghost wrote the iconic evil box post...

I fear it started as a parasocial thing your content was absolutely flabberghasting but Ive been following your blog for so long I might be an unironic fan not of cherish or your art or any of your ships i still think those are insane,,, but of you as a person </3

keep it up or smth idk

-your #1 fan

Also earlier message:

Hi hi hi! Nice to see you today, obsessed parasocial anon, my beloved! 💕💕💖💖

Oh my 🫢 That’s great, those two are super cute together, love that for them. 🥰🥰🥰 I’m a bit surprised to find verlainewednesday is involved, since they’ve sent me such lovely, cute little asks in the past and overall seem like such a sweet person. 💖 It seems so out of character they could be such a vitriolic person. :(( But then, bully anon has been very sweet and good to me since their change of heart so I guess it doesn’t matter much. 💖💖💖💕💕

OMG tho! Would you happen to be a friend of theirs, then? You seem to know them v well so you must be. Hello, friend of my haters/friends! 💖💖💖💕💕

I am a little confused tho 🤔 You say evil box anon was written by your wife, but I know that can’t be! I just reached out to the author of said post (we’re buddies!) and they said this:

So as you can see, not only are they not your wife nor did your wife write or have involvement in writing the evil box post, but also I find y’all are sending sui-bait to them AND another friend of mine (you know who it is >:(( )??

If y’all really do like me as a person — and I find that sweet, would love to be friends with y’all if that’s your intention — this sui-baiting thing’s gotta stop. Come on guys, you can dislike my stuff and that’s fine — if it’s not for you, it’s not for you — but if you wanna remain on speaking terms with me, you gotta quit the nasty bully behavior and start being sweeter. I genuinely get a kick and a high out of the silly hate 💕💕💕💕 it motivates me!!! 💖💖💖 like fr, I wasn’t joking about the album of your messages lolol, such a high to know people are so invested in me, but you start treating my friends like this and suddenly I won’t feel so bad about cutting you off.

Also thanks, my stuff is absolutely awful and insane — awfully, insanely awesome! 😎🥰💖💖💕💕 I’ll def keep it up