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#This is unnnecesary long
persephonescottage · 1 year
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EXES PAST: Year 3.
Pairing: Billy RussoxFem!Reader.
Summary: Corrupt Benjamin March.
Warning: References to sexual situations, violence, blood, mutilation, trauma, swearing, obsessive thoughts, possessiveness, kidnapping, stalking, manipulation, violence, gaslighting and other triggers I will include as we go along, please only read if you’re 18+.
If any of this warnings trigger you please don’t read.
&
Gift giving, hot cocoa and pine trees everywhere. Billy wasn’t a big fan of the holidays but if it meant he’d see you at the Castle’s Christmas party he was all in.
Even if his baseball team lost and now he had to wear the stupid sweater Karen got him last year.
As soon as he stepped in the Greenwich house he looked for you, the warmth blushing his face, still some snow on the shoulders of his coat from the outside weather.
“I can’t believe you’re here!” Karen said excited jumping to hug him and Billy knew she had a little too much eggnog already. “I thought you wouldn’t come cause of the sweater. Oh my God look at the sweater!”
She points as she rambles to Frank who is next to her and Billy looks down at his outfit. A red sweater with a three dimensional Christmas wreath and a plush reindeer coming out of it. 
He couldn’t even turn sideways safely without knocking someone over with it and God knows he wasn’t gonna let anybody know it sang jingle bells if you pressed the nose.
“I hate you.” He said simply taking his his coat off.
“No you don’t! You love me, that’s why you’re wearing it.” She smiled.
“Well I’m a man of my word.”
“Come on in.” Frank said this time, his lips in a line trying not to giggle “Let’s get you drunk so you’ll let us press the nose.”
As he followed his friends he scanned the room. Karens news paper friends and some old marines popped from the corners of the home but not you.
“She did come.” Frank whispers to him as soon as they reach the kitchen island that’s covered in half drunk bottles and people mingling around. 
“I don’t know who you’re talking about.” Billy smiles in complicity.
“Sure Bill.” Franks sarcasm makes Billy laugh “She’s outside with her boyfriend, he’s a smoker.”
Oh right, the boyfriend. 
Billy had learned his lesson with the lizard king, you would never surprise him with a boyfriend ever again. 
Keeping tabs on you was complicated, you were a social butterfly but thankfully he had a never drying fountain of gossip in Karen and he’d often got Frank to grumpily drop tips on you.
He also hacked your phone, email and social media.
Again, you’d never catch him off guard and this was a fun one to crack.
Benjamin March was a well known man around New York. Partner in one of the city’s top legal firms he had made a name for himself with a file of high profile clients. Most of them politics and men of influence.
And he would always win.
Red flag number one.
He married a former Miss North Carolina whom he divorced about a year before and who he left practically on the streets alleging a horribly balanced prenup.
Poor girl, at least she was pretty.
Red flag number two.
Late night at his office after ANVIL was completely empty a few nights before Billy tried to convince himself he’d only intervene in your relationship if Benjamin March had all three strikes against him.
As if he really needed a single reason to murder a man just to get you all to himself.
Luckily for Billy he found the third strike, and it was a big one. The big kahuna of dirt he had now saved in a usb drive that was burning his pants pocket.
He couldn’t wait.
His hands vibrating with anticipation when you walked inside all by yourself, taking a shot Karen offered you on sight.
“Nice sweater Bill.” You press your lips together trying not to laugh and he smiles at you.
It’s all he can do.
“Merry Christmas angel. Not following the rules I see.” He says pointing at your outfit. “We agreed, no mini skirts. They make me nervous and you know it.”
“Well we also said no cozy looking sweaters.” You can’t hide the laugh after the sarcastic comment.
“If this makes you horny you have some serious issues.” 
His laugh is interrupted by a man about a foot taller than you. His arm twisting around your torso in a possessive way.
There’s a fruity smell lingering from him and Billy wants to puke. 
This man vapes?
As if he needed a fourth red flag, he thinks.
Billy introduces himself, a proud smirk on his face when Benjamin admits he already knows who he is, reassuring his status.
It takes a while before Karen pulls you to her, the motion lifting your skirt a little too much for Billy’s sanity and then you disappear with the blonde off to meet some of her friends.
It even feels orchestrated when somehow he is left alone in the kitchen with Benjamin March, the closes person holding their drunken state on a column of the dining room.
But Billy isn’t worried about Karen’s drunken co-workers and he wastes no time on handling the lawyer the usb from his pocket, releasing the speech of accusations he had prepared.
It’s not surprising when the man doesn’t deny Billy’s accusations.
Benjamin March had been helping elite men get away with fraud, murder and other crimes that made Billy’s stomach turn.
But he didn’t look remotely sorry.
Maybe a little sorry he had been caught when Billy hands him the incriminating proof, it’s all there, pictures, documents and audios, served in a silver platter that can lock the lawyer up for a long time.
Billy isn’t sure he’d ever been more offended than when Benjamin offers him money for his silence.
As if he wanted his disgusting money.
“What do you want then?” Benjamin seems more annoyed than worried.
“I want you to break up with her.”
“Fuck man! You went through all this trouble for some pussy?” He mocks. 
He has no idea.
“You got a deal. She’s all yours.”
He agrees without even thinking twice and Billy wants to break his jaw for talking about you as something so disposable.
They fine tune the details and Billy wishes to tell him he has no interest in pursuing his downfall after he breaks up with you.  Then he’ll become just another corrupt lawyer in New York City and he couldn’t care less.
And when March finally decides to leave he makes sure he makes himself even more punchable.
“Hit me up if you ever need a lawyer.” 
&
“Maybe you should have some water angel.”
Did he tell Benjamin March to break up with you?
Yeah.
Did he tell him to do it right now at this very party in front of other people?
No!
For a lawyer he had no common sense and now Billy had a very drunk girl half crying half laughing on the Castle’s couch.
He eyed you quickly, trying to miss the way your legs shine under the low lights of the home when the red skirt you wore rises up.
He couldn’t tonight. You were drunk and sad and he didn’t want you like this but you seemed determined to get him though.
“Man I really was smart with the no sweater rule. You look so cute!” 
He looks down at the cursed sweater wanting to laugh with you, but you don’t, you seem serious about it.
You’re holding what seems to be your tenth shot of tequila and giving him those flirty eyes he often saw in his head during his jerk off sessions.
There’s barely anyone left at the party and it would be so easy to get you in one of the rooms and lift that tiny scrap off fabric you call an outfit.
Stop.
There’s a big red stop sign going on loop in his head, not only was this his best friends home, your cheeks were bright pink from the intoxication and life was so unfair to him.
The one time you wanna fuck it’s because you’re drunk.
“We should get you home angel.”
He didn’t need to say it twice and you hold yourself clumsily up the couch using a sleeping Karen as a prop while Billy grabs your coat.
“Can you stay with me tonight Bill? Please I don’t want to be alone.”
He’s doing his best to be good, helping you put on your coat and your voice is so tiny and cute as you beg him standing by the Castle’s front door.
Again, life was so unfair.
He nods immediately anyway, his body betraying his reason and before he knows it he’s driving towards your apartment.
He has to help you walk into the elevator when you arrive since even in the state you are you refuse to take your heels off and something tells him you’re not as drunk as you pretend to be when you hold on to his bicep, resting your face of his chest in the elevator saying you’re dizzy.
As soon as you enter your home you disappear down a hallway and Billy looks around. It smells powdery and sweet just like you and he wants to fuck you on your pink couch.
But he won’t.
Instead he marches to your kitchen, opening the fridge to gather ingredients for a sandwich the he offers you as soon as you walk back out of your room wearing tiny cream short pajamas with polka dots on them.
“Aren’t you coming to bed?”
Your voice sounds innocent but he knows better. You’re gonna be the death of him.
“Here, eat this.” He ignores your request handing you the plate “It’ll help your stomach after all that tequila.”
“But I’m not hungry!” 
“I didn’t ask. Eat.” 
He barks a command as he would one of his soldiers even when he knows he has no power here. 
Not after you sit on the counter of the kitchen, your legs slightly spread and a force of gravity pushes him to walk in between them. 
You’re taking your time to chew and you look tired but the bread seems to be absorbing the alcohol just fine.
“I just don’t get it.”
“Get what?”
“Why boys keep breaking up with me. No one takes me seriously, no one wants me. I’m good enough to fuck but not enough to be a girlfriend.”
Billy can feel his heart shrinking with your statement and he wishes he could tell you that they do want you. All of them do. In fact he had to use violence and threats to get rid of a couple already.
But he gives you a warm smile instead, using his fingertips to put some of your hair behind your ear.
“Maybe you should stop dating assholes.”
That didn’t come out as comforting as he wanted to and you sigh and use your forearm to move him from that sacred place between your thighs, getting off the counter.
He tried his best to ignore the jiggle of your curves as you do but he can feel the zipper of his pants tightening.
“I can’t finish it” you say, a yawn escaping your mouth.
“Fine.” Billy sighs, taking the half eaten sandwich from your fingers “But have some more water.”
“Hey, I didn't mean to force you to stay with me tonight, I’m sorry. Thank you for driving me but you can go if you want.”
‘Leave dickhead’ his head screams ‘It’s time for you to leave’
“I can stay a while.”
The voice in Billy’s head throws it’s hands in the air in exasperation.
“Okay.” Your reply is a whisper but there’s a small smile on your lips.
Billy wishes he had kept the moment cute, but he can’t help his gaze to skim over your body, the outline of your nipples through the tiny cotton top. You adjust the strap on it and Billy looks away, afraid you caught him staring. 
“I know this is stupid but I like having you here.” You admit toying with your own fingers in a nervous state “I feel safe.”
Billy knows you mean it as a compliment but the sudden image of all the dangers of the city surrounding you made him anxious. Did you not feel safe when you were alone?
“How long have you been living by yourself?”
“A while. Since Karen moved out.”
That’s a long time. Too long.
You turn to walk towards what seems to be your bedroom and he makes sure he leaves a space between your bodies. He��s not sure if he does it so you know he won’t be creepy tonight or because he wants to watch your ass jiggle with each step.
He wants you to sit on his face.
But you’ve been drinking. You’re not falling down drunk but you’re still drunk.
“Billy?” You call to him from inside the bedroom.
Maybe a little make out session wouldn’t be the end of the world, he thinks. 
But that’s it.
There’s a rustling of fabric as he steps into the room and sees you crawl into bed. The sight of you shimmying into the blankets, hair spread on the pillow, waiting for him steals his breath.
He can feel your gaze burning into him and Billy has a sudden urge to flex his muscles, to show off, that until he figures you’re actually staring at his sweater.
Damn that singing reindeer.
“I’ll take it off.” He laughs.
“I actually like it.”
You’re on the right side of the bed, lying on your side facing him. Leaving a space in your bed for him.
“Would you stay for a while longer?” You ask.
“Sure angel.” 
“Sorry, you don’t have to, it was dumb of me to ask. I can walk you out if you’d like to go.”
“No, I’d like to stay. I can’t stay the whole night but I’ll stay a little more.”
Billy doesn’t elaborate why, because the why is simply that he won’t be able to control himself sleeping next to your soft body. If he was still there in the morning there was zero chance he wouldn’t fuck you.
“You should rest a little then, before you drive home.”
Your hand is touching the spot next to you on the mattress and Billy gulps.
“You worried about me angel?”
“I’m worried about the other drivers. I’ve seen you drive.”
Your laugh fills the dim light room and it seems to make it easier for him to get closer to the bed, sinking his knee on the soft surface.
“Sorry I don’t have anything your size to put on.”
“Put on?”
“To get comfy. Like pajamas.”
He nods like it was obvious what she meant, but why had his brain gone straight to condoms?
“I suppose you could just… take your pants off.”
Yes.
Yes he could do that.
His body is fighting a battle of mind against dick and he waits for his conscience to win. To tell him to keep his pants on and to walk out the front door, but it never does.
Pants off it is then.
And that god awful sweater while he’s at it.
Standing there in your bedroom in his white under t-shirt and blue briefs Billy realized he’d take whatever punishment the universe threw his way for getting in bed with you in that state, even if you just slept next to him.
He was going to hell anyway.
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