#This stemmed from me trying to develop a character and getting frustrated

[kylekreepsmeout]

A Comic about my Dissatisfaction

[radioactive-earthshine]

hi orla!! i come bearing one of my favorite characterization questions. what would you say are bart's major character flaws? how does he react to making mistakes, and how does that change over time as he grows and develops? (i hope this is a fun one for you to ponder as well!!)

Thank you for such a thought provoking question!

Bart goes through some rapid development throughout the comics, some of it makes sense, some of it doesn't as is typical for all comic characters but I will go into this in with my best ability while taking consideration of how fast he changes.

His major flaws.

Early life (first appearances and through most of his solo)

The major one is the one that is his namesake, essentially - his impulsiveness which can be a strength and a neutral trait all at once. It is simple fact that in his more early comics he did not think through his impulses. He simply thought, then acted, with no time between to wonder if stealing a car and driving it off a cliff, while being pursued by cops, was a good idea or any sort of idea.

Lack of regard - this goes into him very frequently ignoring the well-being of others while he was trying to save the day - yes his solutions do work, but they also involve putting others in peril, both mild and direct. This however stems from the next flaw which is...

Lack of a fundamental understanding how the world works - this is not his fault. He spent relative to him over a decade in virtual reality where the rules were completely different where there were no high stakes, no one could get hurt, physics were different, and then suddenly after his whole life living in this world he is living in the real world... He doesn't understand the rules, he is not socialized, and no one really took the time to explain to him that the best way to help people from falling rocks in the real world was to get them out of the way, instead of punching the rocks. He simply has no experience with high stakes in his earlier comics so he behaves how he would in VR.

Also, he just doesn't ask for help because he doesn't know how to. Due to being in VR he doesn't often reach out for help unless he really, really is struggling. His first impulse (hah) is always to solve things on his own. This is also what makes Max's last words to him "Some things you just have to figure out on your own" very heartbreaking because that's all Bart was doing.

Later Impulse

As he ages and starts to understand how the world works he does still struggle with those mentioned above but he starts to know what love is and how to treat people he loves. He becomes less selfish, he has a better idea of what a hero looks like and how he wants to be a hero but he starts to develop some things that he struggles with such as...

A deep feeling of inadequacy as a result of years of bullying and Thad - We see this right after the Mercury Falling arc where Bart throws himself into trying to "do better" and it comes with some unfortunate results, mostly him developing deep anxiety.

This last point carries through to his time as Kid Flash and can be cited when he decides to be Kid Flash after he was shot by Jericho.

Other basic character traits that can be seen as 'flaws' that are ongoing and part of his character.

He is impatient, has a temper that is tied to frustration and passion. has difficulty standing up for himself until he cannot handle it anymore and explodes, and he goes with his gut more than he probably should.

How does he respond to his mistakes

Like anyone, there is a range! He can go from being "oh oops" to "oh fuck what is wrong with me I have to change everything about me to make up for this" depending on what it is.

The most famous response to his ongoing 'mistakes' and the bullying, and general abuse at the hands of Wally because of those 'mistakes' was him deciding to no longer be Impulse but Kid Flash.

In general however, when he does make mistakes he most frequently files them away as part of learning and doesn't often mull over them more than is necessary.

How does he change over time?

When comparing him as Kid Flash (and YJ19 Impulse) to his early Impulse issues we see that he grows in many ways, most fervently that he does think ahead, he does develop the ability to plan, he does think about others, he has more compassion, and is less selfish because he finally learns how to love other people over time.

It's what drives him to sacrifice himself twice with no regrets, it's what propels him to break time for Kon's sake, it's what drives him to choose the lives of his friends over his pet dog in his later Impulse issues.

All in all his major character growth circulates around his ability to love people, see people, and look ahead while still maintaining some those enjoyable 'flaws' like being impulsive and having a bit of a temper.

Thank you so much for the ask!!!

[franki-lew-yo]

ALL my feelings towards Friendship is Magic could be so easily summed up as:

" -Twilight Sparkle should never have become an alicorn princess in season 3 of a series with 9 seasons - ''

She should have always had it in the books to eventually become an alicorn, but her becoming one in season 3 is where literally all (my own) problems with the show stem from and almost all of those problems are about the show in execution, NOT in theory. 

Everything about later seasons Friendship is Magic’s writing reeks of the writers trying to make their ideas, fan ideas, and Hasbro’s ideas work all at the same time with so little time. They were told to make Equestria Girls, Princess Twilight, Flurry Heart and the movie “work” while also juggling writing in Starlight and her whole arc (and the characters attached, like Sunburst), the CMC getting their cutie marks, the reformed changelings, griffons and dragons, their Starswirl the Bearded stuff; WHILE ALSO making sure Discord and the Princesses (mostly Luna) and the ‘fan fav’ characters worked on their own and come together.

In my opinion, it just didn’t.

There was always too much going on with little to no time to breathe or appreciate the characters -how far they’ve come, how much further they have to go- at all. And it made later bit of lore and characters feel frustrating. It made potentially great characters deeply unlikable. Starlight and Discord are the biggest victims.

I want to like them. I really do. I can’t though because Starlight is not only a ‘madeawittlemistake’(aka ran a cult)-villain redemption, BUT she has to share her stories with the main six. They underdeveloped her while also trying to make her important and it just made me dislike Starlight and Twilight so much. It made me get mad at Starlight for being in the way of a Twilight episode, it made me wanna scream at Twilight for getting in the way of what should be Starlight’s time to shine!

Discord now had to share his ‘redeemed baddie’ spotlight with Starlight and others meant he had no time for his development which, when it was done* (ALL of Season 4) was abysmally fast, badly paced and in my view insulting. It made Discord, even in episodes where he had a point to be there, feel useless because fundamentally was overall. Season 4 assassinated Discord’s character to me and I didn’t remotely like him. For years I thought I just didn’t like FiM simply because the show and the fandom clearly preferred Fluttercord to Dislestia and I was just butthurt. Which, to be clear, I am. My mega revelation regarding this show was realizing that, no- what I hated wasn’t Fluttercord, it was Discord himself. How he was being handled, how he was written from s4 onward (ALL THE EPISODES WHERE HE’S YANDRE TO FLUTTERSHY SHOULD HAVE BEEN BEFORE HIS BETRAYAL. ALL OF THEM. NO YOU WILL NOT CHANGE MY MIND IT’S FINAL) pissed me off so much as a person who really loved his potential character in season 2 and 3. Discord and Fluttershy being besties and possibly more could and should have been adorable...but it wasn't because the Discord we got was a horrid character. Fluttershy deserves better.

I know you guys don’t wanna hear this same old worn-out critique about FiM, but I’m sorry I have to agree: when they weren’t being crowbarred into stuff that didn’t need their stories, Starlight and Discord were both forgiven -by the show- WAAY too soon. The problem wasn’t that they had redemption arcs and/or that other characters didn’t. The problem was their redemptions were badly done. The show didn’t treat them like they had been redeemed from something hurtful, it acted like they had never done anything wrong. And that was bad because it made it so, when the three baddies at the end of the series were officially crowned "irredeemable", the show felt biased. It felt mean spirited towards Tirek, Chrysalis and Cozy when their end should have actually felt fitting and funny. It’s not about ‘morals’ or ‘punishing’ fictional cartoon horses voiced by John DeLancie for warcrimes or whatever tf Lily Orchard goes on about-- it’s about how the show FELT LIKE IT FAVORED some characters more than others. That was a thing that I loved Friendship is Magic for not doing in seasons 1-3, what made it and it’s character’s endearing and wholesome to me, and it’s why the handling of the main cast in later seasons felt so mean.

But to get back to the alicorn in the room; Twilight could have graduated or something for season 3 and then the whole show could build up to her actually outdoing Starswirl’s wrongs as she does in the pony of shadows plot. THAT could have been her ‘upgraded to alicorn princess moment’; but it didn’t. As much as I wish it were that way, it isn’t and that’s not what the writer��s did because they didn’t have the time or foresight for that. Sadly, even though lots of flaws and problems were always baked into the loaf from the start (Celestia being useless or 'sinister', ponies being racist towards everything else, bad and/or basic friendship lessons) Twilight becoming an alicorn princess, which DID ultimately change her character, her role and her presence even amongst her friends and the rest of Ponyville, was the start of all the problems.

We’re stuck with what we got and what we got was a series that -to me- only ever kept adding more and MORE until it felt overstuffed, hectic, and unfortunately mean spirited when it wasn’t trying to be. There’s nothing we can do now. Personally, I highkey am annoyed at other adult bronies saying I “didn’t get” the show and its decisions which is why I didn’t like it. No. Trust me I get “it”; the problem is that “it” wasn’t well done which is why I didn’t like “it”. “It” deserved better.

Of course, I also get some of why those bronies are so defensive. After all I was there when the whole 'Twilight becoming a Princess'-controversy happened. I remember how ugly it got and how annoying and entitled you guys were about it and Equestria Girls' existence (don't even get me started on ur #savederpy).

Something I want to make especially clear whenever I criticize writers, especially of kids shows, is that a criticism IS NOT an attack. Ever. Boycotts and callouts should be reserved for stuff that's actually morally wrong and yes they also count for stuff I like, not just stuff I want to be mad at. Lookin at you, Didney.

There was never and still is never a reason to bother, hurt or ask the writers for MLP gen 4 why they did what they did. No, not even if you're being 'friendly' about it. Leave M.A. Larson alone.

Granted, fans being entitled to creator's attention and creator's being entitled to fans' affection is it's own rabbit hole, but I truly think that FiM set an ugly standard for that with animated shows today.

Besides still being too thin skinned and not liking that a thing they've divested so much real life time into could be bad, a thing about cartoon commentary and criticism in the 2010s-2020s is they're really parasocial and demanding of writers and artists behind a show. The was always the biggest, ugliest, most uncomfortable aspect of Friendship is Magic to me: because it's creators were online and fans knew they were listening, could approve of fan's creations, and especially because they felt 'responsible' for a show's success, they were really into @ing writers about everything. When critics would call something out for being badly written it somehow always made it's way into becoming a personal accusatory thing. People were blaming writers for being human and working within time constraints and network decisions. You didn't have to be like that TinyToons guy who stalked Tress MacNeille about sexualizing Fifi in the 90s to be a harasser. You could just be an aggressively oversupporting 'stan' or angry nitpicking critic to make a writer who's just doing their job, uncomfortable

tl;dr: I disliked the writing of the later Friendship is Magic. I think it was bad because it was bad. None of that is meant as an attack on the writers who were trying their best and don't need to be roped into any fandom nonsense, positive or negative, and never should have been in the first place.

Hopefully, that's one deadhorse finally beaten.

[myfairkatiecat]

NOT TRYING TO BE RUDE, BUT i HATE KEEFE SO SO MUCH AND IM WONDERING (GENUINELY) WHAT YOU LIKE ABOUT HIM BECAUSE I CAN'T SEE THE APPEAL

ALSO YOU DON'T HAVE TO ANSWER THIS IF IT MAKES YOU UNCOMFORTABLE OR BUGS YOU SORRY IF IT DOES EITHER/BOTH

Hey anon! Those are some strong feelings you've got there!

This is a tricky question to answer since a lot of the things that make me like Keefe's character make some people dislike his character, so you might be about to get a list of all the things you despise about him by asking me what I like about him. I like him because I think he's a good character, and way better written than people give him (or Shannon) credit for. I don't always love Wattpad Fanon Keefe (perfect boyfriend, super sweet, always says the right thing) because it erases so much of his character. I like canon Keefe. He's a raw character with a lot going on and a whole slew of well-developed character traits.

Before I jump into this post, however, I want to say one thing: I think a lot of people who dislike Keefe are mostly frustrated with Shannon's portrayal of his character flaws, and I don't think they give Shannon enough credit for the way she's intentionally written Sophie as an unreliable narrator. It's rather clear during different parts of the series that Sophie isn't the most reliable narrator, and Shannon also explicitly writes in the margins of her annotated KOTLC book that she used a certain scene as an example of when Keefe takes his jokes too far. Sophie forgives him without even an outright apology in that scene, but Shannon makes it clear in her annotations that she, the author, isn't writing it off. I don't own the annotated so I can't remember the exact quote, but it's my biggest case for why I think Shannon has intentionally written Keefe with these character flaws, as character flaws, and yes, Shannon sees them as character flaws and has said so, so for the purposes of this ask response here, let's assume Shannon Messenger is aware she's writing a flawed character, because I do think it's rather unfair to her how often the people of the fandom accuse her of brushing by Keefe's actions when in reality she's just writing Sophie Foster as true to her character as she can.

With that, let's jump into this little essay about Why Keefe Is An Awesome Character And I Love Him that I've writtten for you!

My AP English teacher always used to say, "characters are more human than humans." I believe the purpose of this quote was that well-written characters exemplify what makes us human—our love, our experiences, our regret, our strengths and flaws—in ways that connect strongly to the audience. Part of the reason so many people like Keefe's character, I believe, is because they are able to connect strongly to him. This is because he is written as "more human than humans," as my AP English teacher would say—even though technically, he's not a human, but an elf.

One major strong point of Keefe Sencen's character is that his strengths and weaknesses are often wrapped up in the same character traits. This is something that is true for many people. For example, my politeness in real life social situations makes me a lot of friends, but too often can turn to people-pleasing. A good character, in my opinion, should have both strengths and flaws stemming from all of their major character traits. Here are a few of Keefe's:

His humor

One major aspect of Keefe's character is his humor. Whether you personally find it funny or not (I think I found it a little funnier when I was eleven... I'm sorta growing out of some of it, though his wittier comments in the latest books are more my style, which might be a sign of both me and the character maturing) it's an enormous part of his character. As a major character trait, it presents both strengths and flaws.

Often, he brings levity to heavy situations that the other characters appreciate. One instance I remember is in Flashback. They were preparing for a confrontation, and I don't remember what it was that Keefe said, but Sophie narrates that she appreciated the moment of comedic relief, because it eased some of her anxiety. Keefe is able to take intense moments and settle them with quick-witted (or hilariously not funny) comments. This is likely a skill he adopted in order to handle the crushing pressure of being in his own home as a kid. (Fitz, contrastingly, adapted the skill of just holding lots and lots of weight, bending and bending and bending until he finally breaks. Not to make my Keefe essay about Fitz, of course, but I know someone is going to point out that Fitz also dealt with a lot of pressure at home, and wanted to point out that he developed somewhat unhealthy coping mechanisms as well, they're just different from Keefe's.)

However, sometimes his jokes are unwanted or go too far. Shannon comments on this specifically at the end of the first book, where Keefe makes a joke about how he helped save her when she almost died, and then sorta trailed of when he realized he was talking about her almost-death. Shannon commented in the margins that this was a moment of Keefe experiencing awareness that his joking has gone a little too far. She hasn't released annotated editions of any later books, but I'm confident that at least a few other scenes are examples of this as well. Sometimes I run across them during a read through and I'm like "huh, it's interesting to have a good idea as to what Shannon was thinking writing this." Sometimes, his constant making light of serious situations really isn't funny to anyone, and it keeps him from accepting the gravity of what they're doing, likely contributing to his reckless behavior.

2. His intuitive communication

Something to notice about Keefe is that even though he's often socially unaware, either in ways that indicate his childhood trauma or just his emotionally immaturity as a teenager, he's very good at knowing exactly what to say for his intended goal. That intended goal isn't always necessarily something he should want, mind you—we just talked about how his need to lighten the mood sometimes causes problems, and he knows enough about some of his friends (cough Fitz cough) to know exactly what words will hurt them the most in an argument as well.

This can be a strength for him, especially when he's comforting Sophie. Since he can feel her emotions instinctively, he often knows exactly what she needs to hear. He's actually incredibly sweet at times, especially in Legacy (I mean... there are other issues there, which I'll get into another time). For example, when he's telling her the reasons Bronte isn't the worst possible father for her to have. There's nothing inherently great about the specific way he comforted her, but it did ease some of Sophie's queasiness, because he knew what she needed to hear. Also, there are the scenes in Legacy where he's telling her that Sophie Foster is all she needs to be, or the scene in Everblaze where he reminds her that no matter who her parents are, she's still going to be exactly the same person she is, and they can't change her. Keefe is really good at knowing the right thing to say. (This might have stemmed from walking on eggshells his entire life aroud his parents!)

However, this also makes it really easy for Keefe to be manipulative, or lie, or say the completely wrong thing on purpose. The best example of the first two was when he somehow convinced everyone in just a few sentences that he totally wasn't going to go to Loamnore with them. Somehow, the guy famous for not doing what he's told convinced everyone he was going to do what he was told, and the thing is, it wasn't even unrealistic. He gave really good reasons that it made sense for him to stay back, and even made jokes about it, about how he and the others not going were "too cool for Loamnore." He had everyone convinced he really wasn't going to be reckless this time, when he totally knew his plan the whole time. The famous Unlocked healing center scene is a great example of the last one, because Keefe got upset with Fitz and knew exactly what to say to make him the most upset and embarassed in that situation. He only even took back the words when Sophie became upset as well. He and Fitz are in... not an awesome place in the latest books, and his POV reflects that.

3. His courage

Let's be honest. Is Keefe a runner? Yes. But when he runs, is he running from a fight? Nope. Never. One of the major instances of this guy running away actually put himself in a ton of danger. He doesn't run for cover, or safety. He runs usually out of fear of himself, his relationships, or that he isn't able to help in any other way. If we really look at his character, Keefe is incredibly brave. All of the KOTLC main cast is. They've got guts. But a lot of the others have a more guarded sort of courage, while Keefe's is... well. Not guarded.

Keefe doesn't think things through, and sometimes, there isn't time for that. Sometimes, immediate action is necessary, and Keefe is great with that. Quick, in-the-moment plans are his specialty. He's not afraid to stand up to people who want to hurt him (*cough* Dimitar scene *cough*).

But he's also extremely reckless (*cough* Dimitar scene *cough*). Because his courage is less guarded than his friends (such as Sophie's or Biana's) he may be more inclined to carry out his plans quickly, but he's also more likely to not think things through fully and end up putting his own life at risk, and sometimes even his friends' lives, even when he's trying to help.

4. His caution and fight or flight instinct

To everyone who ever said Keefe's character is flat and his strengths and flaws never develop or change, what version of KOTLC are you even reading?! Like I mentioned above, Keefe's recklessness is a huge part of his character since book one, but now I'm here about to talk about his caution/obsessive worrying/the famous running away, specifically the second time. This is a relatively new character trait for him. It develops slightly after Lodestar/the first half of Nightfall. Keefe truly did learn a lot from leaving for the Neverseen and lying to Sophie before going to Ravagog. We're given an extremely limited window into this process, since Sophie had other things going on and Keefe's short story focused a lot on his crush on her, but Keefe noticeably steps back and stops trying to turn things into a "Keefe show" (as Sophie puts it in Nightfall) and attempts to work more as a team, which is definitely character development again. However, where he really learned his lesson was Loamnore. He showed up, again going behind Sophie's back and coming up with a plan of his own, and it ended with Sophie tied up on the ground and him being forced to undergo a transformation that gave him powers he's terrified of. While his recklessness didn't entirely vanish after this (his response in the end was to run away to the literal Forbidden Cities) but is definitely flavored with siginificantly more caution and an attempt to be genuinely responsible.

In Unlocked, Keefe noticeably asks for people to be kept away from him, including Sophie, so that he can keep from accidentally controlling anybody. He also stops using his voice entirely. These are actually incredibly selfless things for him to do. He loves to be with his friends (particularly Sophie for reasons) and he loves to talk! And neither of those things are bad! But he isn't willing to put them in danger. In fact, he actually sort of overdoes it in Unlocked, even asking for Dex to make him an ability restrictor. (While he's well-intentioned here, I think Keefe brushes past the idea that making one of those again might be something of a traumatic experience for Dex.) In the end, he's so worried about it that he runs away, but he does it with considerably more of a plan than he did when he joined the Neverseen. He knew he'd know the languages, he arranged a way to get his hands on human currency, and while Unraveled isn't out yet, the state in which they found Keefe along with some of the things Keefe described about his experience make it clear that Keefe purposefully learned a lot about human cultures and successfully blended in and made his life work.

His newfound carefulness paired with his classic instinct to run really encapsulate a lot of his character strengths and flaws. In the later books, it's actually a sign that he's developing as a character and moving away from some of his past character flaws, but like all well-written major character traits, it comes with its own drawbacks.

Another important aspect of Keefe's character is the way he is noticeably shaped by his own experiences. I mentioned the whole "being more human than human" thing earlier, and while yes, he's still not human, I think this is part of what makes so many people connect to his character. He's realistic. He has even more strengths and flaws than the ones I've mentioned above, and all of them obviously come from somewhere specific in his past.

Why is he so chronically unserious? Because he couldn't be serious enough for his family. Before he met Fitz and started spending time with the Vackers, he didn't even really have friends. He had a suffocated home and impossible expectations, and when he tried to live up to them, he just wasn't good enough. So he adapted to break the tension. He adapted to just... not try ("those who don't try never look foolish" -Fiyero in "Dancing Through Life," from Wicked. I think Fiyero is... very Keefe coded) and started skipping classes, breaking the rules, playing pranks and doing anything to cut through the tension. He dealt with pressure by tossing it off his shoulders and just deciding to not deal with it. Obviously, deciding to Just Not Deal With Things eventually began to hurt him, and he slowly and painfully begins to learn to have difficult conversations (but hey, at least he's getting there? I think Neverseen is where his development in that particular area becomes apparent, with the way he opens up more and even admits where he's really beginning to feel guilty).

Why is he such a master of knowing what to say? Because he grew up walking on eggshells around his parents. And when he decided to stop caring about his parents, he weaseled his way out of trouble whenever possible, and learned to use other people's emotions to learn things from them and get his way. "But Katie," you say, "reading other people's emotions without permission and using them to get his way is a very not good thing to do!" You're very correct! And it's an enormous indication of how skewed his view of normal is. What's the one Empath he grew up observing? His father. Look, he knows his parents suck, but because his parents suck, he has no way of knowing what is and isn't normal. Is his father doing this particular thing because he's a horrible person or because that's a normal thing to do? How on Earth is Keefe supposed to know?! Well, there are rules about telepathy, and there aren't any rules about empathy, so the external indications seem to tell him that this particular thing is normal. This is yet another example of Keefe's life experiences having a huge impact on his character.

Why is he so reckless? Because he doesn't care. Even his his most noble moments of bravery stem from the same place of not caring what happens to his life. It's the same reason his deep care for his friends' lives turns to quickly into self-sacrificial tendencies (which show themselves in canon on numerous occasions and usually don't even help). He has this "better me than any of them" mindset that's deeply rooted in his childhood trauma. Even though he's fought tooth and nail against everything his parents have ever said about him, he still has this ingrained sense of worthlessness. The way he says he "doesn't care about permanent damage" and tells Sophie that he's going to make sure he's always the one who ends up wrapped up in bandages and also has that moment in Unlocked where he wants to retreat into the darkness and never wake up? Look, we all know he needs therapy, but maybe reread that last sentence. ...Keep reading it until you get it.

And finally, what makes him finally learn to be cautious? Because he sees firsthand how his reckless plans are impacting the lives of other people around him, and if there's any negative trait that Keefe is NOT, it's selfish. Keefe may be occasionally selfish—you know, case by case basis, like most people—but it isn't a character trait of his by any means. He struggles significantly more with not caring about himself than he struggles with not caring about others. So when he realizes it isn't only his own life he's putting on the line, and sees the way it's hurting his friends, he takes an enormous step back, and even runs away for a time. Now, it would be great if he would start caring about himself too, because this poor guy needs therapy and his level of self-deprecation at this point is way out of control. But it is the case that he cares about his friends a lot (if someone quotes this part and brings up Fitz, I'm going to point out that their friendship has fallen way out due to actions and reactions on both sides of that relationship) and ultimately it ends up adjusting the balance in his character traits and their related strengths and flaws.

In short, Keefe is a lot of things. He's good things, he's bad things, he's consistent things. He reads like a real person—someone who frequently makes the same style of mistakes but does learn and grow over the course of his life. Every character trait of him stems from some aspect of his past. Shannon didn't write him with a slew of random personality traits—each and every one of them ties down to who he is and how he's shaped by his experiences. He can be a truly amazing friend. He can be a really horrible friend. He can be sweet and amazing and say the perfect thing. He can say the wrong-est possible thing with the intention of cutting the other person deep. He's a slow learner, but he learns nonetheless. His character development isn't a smooth arc in which he has trait A, event B happens and at the end he has trait C. That's common in storytelling, but not real life. Keefe learns, grows, then makes the same mistake again, then learns stronger. His character development sees both growth and setbacks, and the changes are subtle. He's still the same person even when he changes.

He's good things, he's bad things, he's consistent things, and I think it is out of an awareness of our own humanity that so many people relate to him and therefore enjoy his character.

I hope you enjoyed this essay, anon. Believe it or not, I actually have plenty more to say about any of these topics, and some other topics that I didn't even bring up, so if you want to see even more, just direct me towards what you want to hear and I assure you I'll have thoughts. Have a wonderful day!

[dwobbitfromtheshire]

Ah, just ignore me just thinking about Nancy and her agency again. . . I'm just rambling out of frustration, and I just need to write it down to work through my irritation. It just baffles me how people don't think they're being misogynistic towards Nancy. In season 5, Nancy Wheeler deserves a monologue, she deserves to say fuck you to it all, and I hope they let her give the finger. . .

You ever think about the reason why Nancy felt like everyone knew the next day after sleeping with Steve. Most people assume she regrets it, but maybe sometime during the night, during that moment when she was looking out the window, she had sensed that someone was watching her. She probably brushed it off as paranoia. It was a hair-raising moment for her, and it was proved to be true. Someone was standing outside watching her, taking pictures of her, judging her. . .like, yeah, Jonathan's character deserves better development, but Nancy's character deserves better over all because because it's just been framed in a way that shames women for having sex especially with someone who people don't expect her to be with. I don't know. . .it's also fucking frustrating because when it comes to Steve, they treat Nancy like some naive little girl who doesn't know what she's doing. And it doesn't matter how many times she fucking screams it, no one ever believes it that she wasn't trying to be someone else and because Jonathan Byers told her that she was going to end up in a depressing relationship like her parents, people fucking cling to that. It frustrates me because people will treat women like this, like they don't know their own mind and infantilze them, but they don't realize how cruel, how misogynistic they're being by doing that. The worst part is that people ignore all the problems. Instead of addressing them, their only hope that Jonathan and Nancy get together stems from the fact that the actors are together. I have literally seen people say that, and that shouldn't be your reason, especially if it's your only reason. Steve isn't the problem here. He never has been. Nothing makes me angrier than people who think they're fighting for women's rights, but they're actually doing the complete opposite. It seems like they're trying to fix that viewpoint with Steve and Nancy reconciling. You know, I think that's why people are so angry about it, because it's finally addressing how they have been treating Nancy, how the narrative and themselves have framed her character as someone who should stay in her lane and only care about her career. Heaven forbid Nancy Wheeler ventures away from what people want FOR her. The best thing they did for Nancy was make sure she felt like she wasn't crazy for loving Steve, and it's crazy how people don't see how much Nancy had struggled with that due to certain situations, due to certain people telling her she shouldn't.

[katieskarlette]

Long time, no ramble

I read The Calling, the new short story about Anduin. It was heart wrenching, emotional and poignant...but I couldn't stop thinking about how much I disliked the plot that sent him on this trajectory.

No matter how well Anduin's PTSD and guilt are handled, I can't forget that they stem from the train wreck of Shadowlands. He should never have been put in this position in the first place.

Just as Anduin was literally yoinked into the sky by the Jailer's minions to start the expansion, he was also yoinked out of his plot arc. He was starting to come into his own as a king, moving beyond his father's shadow bit by bit, finding the balance between his own peace-loving tendencies and the grim necessity of some violence in a world such as Azeroth. There were hints that he was struggling with the balance of Light and Shadow, as well. All of that character development came to a screeching halt when he got kidnapped and turned into Zovaal's puppet.

What made pre-Shadowlands Anduin unique was his stubborn insistence on empathy in a world full of bloodthirsty warmongers. The siege of Undercity at the start of BFA was the perfect microcosm of that: he set down Shalamayne and used the Light to heal/rez his soldiers instead. He was finding ways to lead that were effective but which allowed him to be true to his ideals.

There was nothing wrong with the way Varian led his people (or at least nothing that I want to get into right now), but that doesn't mean his style is the right choice for Anduin. I've always had a soft spot for characters who are like, "Yeah, I know the world is a cruel place. I'm not naïve. But that's all the more reason to spread hope and kindness."

I would have been fine with a plot where Anduin struggles to find a happy medium between "We must strive for peace" and "We need to mercilessly obliterate our enemies to protect innocent lives," and errs too much on the side of violence. He could feel the same remorse and lack of trust in himself as he does in the current canon, feel unworthy of the Light, think back on how Varian atoned for some of his misdeeds, and grow as a person. It would mean more if he was actually making choices and working through the consequences.

As it stands, Anduin is beating himself up over something that isn't his fault, even a little bit. I sympathize with him up to a point, but by the end of the short story I was frustrated and even a little annoyed with his stubborn self-hatred. He's not stupid, and it's not like being controlled by evil forces is a new concept for an Azerothian. He comes across as obtuse when he insists that he's indelibly tainted by what happened to him, when he personally knows people who have been in similar situations and did not become pariahs.

(Yes, I know trauma responses aren't logical. Irrational guilt and survivor's guilt exist. But realism doesn't necessarily translate into a satisfying narrative. And yes, characters need to change and face challenges, but when those challenges were born from atrocious writing it leaves a bad taste in the audience's mouth.)

Is there dramatic irony in the kind, altruistic character not being able to extend the same grace to himself? Of course. But is Blizzard's storytelling capable of that level of nuance? Forgive me for being skeptical. I'm sure he will find himself again and heal through the coming expansions, but, again, I'm not optimistic that it will be handled well.

I'm probably judging the story too harshly because my patience for WoW's story ran out during Shadowlands and I'm still bitter. If they had to try to salvage a halfway decent character arc from the bullshit of that expansion, this is probably the best way to go about it.

The new short story was well-written and tugged at the heartstrings. It just didn't win me back. I didn't expect it to, though. Instead I continue to mourn a franchise that captivated me for many years before its trip to the realm of Death meant the demise of my devotion. :(

Disclaimer: I didn't hate everything about Shadowlands. Sire Denathrius can read off a list of my sins anytime. Aww yeah. The rest can be retconned to oblivion, though. ;)

[aihoshiino]

I honestly liked ruby a lot before. How she was so full of hope and all, then the character development she got after finding gorou's body. Even the recent part where she says she won't be like Ai and won't give up on her friends. But I think all the incest and related part ruins her character and reduces her to a simp. At least show some depth in it tho😭 like before whenever ruby talked about gorou that felt impactful. Man i miss the old ruby.

YEAH!!! This is pretty much exactly my issue as well. I know something a lot of folks have criticized about the story pre-Mainstay is that Ruby lacks development but TBH, I never really felt like Old!Ruby was a character who needed a more active arc in the way characters like Aqua and Kana did. She definitely had some Big Overhanging Issues dangling above her head that she was going to have to address eventually but on a moment to moment basis, Ruby was doing really well. She functioned best as a sort of guiding star for the characters around her, pulling them along through the force of her own positive energy and personality.

A big part of this is simply that a lot of the things that made Sarina's life miserable are not actually issues for Ruby anymore. She's healthy, she's surrounded by family and friends who love and support her, she's getting to pursue her dream and even has a pretty healthy relationship with her memories of and grief for Ai. That's not to say her history as Sarina has no effect on her, of course: her bull-headed stubbornness and willingness to charge on into things no questions asked comes specifically and explicitly from the ways she was disempowered and lacking agency in her past life and moments like her getting upset about Aqua no longer eating dinner with them on Sundays during the LoveNow filming pretty clearly stem from her issues with abandonment and lacking familial care. But her environment and the support system she has as Ruby very clearly did a lot to help her organically heal and start moving on.

New!Ruby really feels like a retcon in that regard, like Akasaka suddenly scrabbled to go "oh actually Ruby was ALWAYS secretly fucked up!!!!" for the sake of drama and ramped everything about her up to an 11 to try and convey this but the end result ultimately just feels inconsistent. I know I link this post basically every time I talk about Ruby these days, but @all-of-her-light's Ruby and the Unplayed Role essay really is the best at breaking down all these differences and inconsistencies and why it is they feel so jarring. But one of the things that stands out to me is the ramping up of the intensity of her feelings for Gorou.

Some of this makes perfect sense within the context of the narrative; finding his DESSICATED FUCKING SKELETON jesus CHRIST and realising he'd been murdered by the very same person who killed her beloved mother absolutely makes sense as the impetus for her feelings to go into overdrive. But as of the Mainstay arc onwards, we have continually gotten backfill that implies she has always been operating on this level of intensity, elevating Gorou to a position of importance in her life that matches or even exceeds Ai to a degree that feels retconny.

Actually, now that I've articulated that, I think that key difference is the core of what makes Old and New Ruby feel so split to me. Old Ruby absolutely still adored and deeply valued Gorou and wanted to be reunited with him, but she was nowhere near as emotionally dependant on the idea of him as New Ruby seems to be. Old Ruby was characterized much more strongly in relation to Ai, both in the sense of love for her as her mother and her legacy as an idol and while this is still true to a degree for New Ruby, the manga frames Gorou as being just as if not more important than Ai as a factor in Ruby's motivations for becoming an idol, when it really hadn't been framed that way prior to a certain point in the manga.

Ultimately, it's just kind of frustrating. Like you, I really loved Old Ruby and I think New Ruby is just kind of a flanderized and flattened version of her - though the story pays some lip service to her uglier and more complicated emotions, the story's failure to genuinely and seriously interrogate them and its consistency in reducing her to a gag character just makes her feel so much less lively and interesting that Old Ruby, even if Old Ruby was (at least on paper) a much more simple character. It really feels like the last time the story genuinely took Ruby seriously was prior to 123 when we were getting teased with the idea of her meeting Marina again but that thread has since been completely dropped and I'll be shocked if it gets so much as mentioned again.

[heireign]

meta question : how did her mother's death impact how she viewed her father ?

send me character development questions. ( @sinworn )

first, i don't think there's ever really any blame in regards to it when it comes to viserys purely because it's ? as a child the circumstances of it would have been so absurdly normalized that the only real red flags about it that would have impacted her views on him from it would have been the implications around the court that ' perhaps aemma had been bedded too young', and that being the reason for why she had the complications with her pregnancies that she did which, she may or may not have overheard at court - and if she did, i don't think at the time she would've entirely understood the implications of what that even meant. and there is also the likelihood she would not have even heard it at all unless she walked into a room unannounced or around a corridor to people discussing it, or it was being spoken about when she was believed to have been out of earshot -- i don't really believe that anyone would have purposefully said that infront of her, so it would have needed to have been something she accidentally overheard if she'd heard it at all.

i do believe she would have heard him call her his great joy, but that a brother was a brother, because he was said to have said often, which means she was more then likely in his presence to hear it at least once. the fact that he loves her was never a question, the fact that he valued and cherished her was never a question, but there's a precursor of feeling not quite enough that stems from the fact her parents doted on her as a child - how she was treated by them was not affected by the fact she wasn't a son, but the fact she wasn't quite the child they needed meant that her mother suffered, and above all she would have noticed how the pregnancies and subsequent losses continued to wear on her mother and how they affected her mother. she was effectively being treated as his heir, but she could never occupy that space, and that meant that viserys only had daemon as a successor, and no son to succeed him. and like the fact a girl could not succeed her father would have been wholly normal then, too. she would not have felt slighted for the throne as much as she would have felt wholly helpless that she could not help her parents who were struggling to fill this space and she was ? thinking that if only she had been born a son, maybe they would have been able to stop with trying with how badly her mother was being affected, with her as the heir and daemon as the spare. this is important because it's what largely impacts her feelings toward him when her mother dies and she's made his heir.

she's eight when aemma dies. he becomes infinitely more important in regards to her feelings of inner security and stability - because at that point he is the only parent that she has left. then she's made his heir and she's ? confused and a bit frustrated, and more then a little overwhelmed because it seems so completely pointless all of a sudden; because if she was worthy of being his heir now, she could have well been then, and then she would still have her mother. she doesn't even know how to want it at first because actually being content she had the position would feel too much as if she were celebrating a tragedy, that she was glad to have profited off of such a devastating loss and like, she wants to make him proud in turn. she doesn't want aemma to be remembered as someone who failed in her duties as a wife and queen. and if she's the heir, and if she actually somehow gets to sit her father's throne, then she won't have been. she would have given him a successor even if she wasn't male.

but like, it also incidentally changes the relatively close relationship she had with her father and makes it one that is two-fold. now she's not just his daughter, she's his heir. it makes things very stiff between the two of them for a while as she settles into the role. she's less inclined to display vulnerability around him due to fearing that he might find it too much for her, and take it. they can't quite talk as they used to due to the fact she's afraid that whatever she might say to him might make him upset and take it from her too - and after he remarries and begins to sire children with alicent her fear of being replaced personally manifests itself in a drive for her position - and this is because this is something she can actually tackle, and solidify her place in, and prove her worth in a way she has always struggled with personally because she has always been loved, but she's never been particularly useful in regarding to filling the place she now occupies. i think her proving that she is is her best attempts to both give her mother a legacy to be proud of ( one that speaks of not just success but actually something historic in her being the first queen regnant ) and solidify those anxieties with her father that she might be set aside in a personal sense, because for a while the notion of her being replaced in her position would have felt more then a little like an inevitability and less like something that may or may not happen. the security and comfort she would have derived from him as her only surviving parent rises and then it plummets again when she's made heir because she doesn't know how else to regain control of a very overwhelming situation that people are now looking at her in a whole different way because of. and there’s this whole new facet to their relationship that’s serious and scary and important and it’s nothing she wants and now it’s everything she wants because of what it could mean for her mother.

[andreal831]

Hello. So, I have considered going back to the TVD/TO fanbase and reconnecting with people there, but I see that it's just as toxic and as bad as it was back then, probably even a little bit worse. And I'm just not in a place in my life where I want to put myself back into that environment. I mean, I got blocked for simply asking someone if they wanted to discuss the shows sometime. Who blocks someone for that? It was just a simple question, all they had to say was yes or no. It's not as if I was gonna get mad if they didn't want to or try to force them. 

Another time, I got blocked by a Michael Trevino fan, who was basically blaming Joseph and Candice for Michael getting harassed by Klaroline shippers. And I pointed out that it wasn't fair to blame Joseph and Candice for that, that it wasn't their fault, and they weren't too fond of Klaroline either and distanced themselves from the shippers after they began harassing their spouses, and particularly piled on Joseph, because he changed his mind about shipping them. It's just so petty the things that people take personally and get mad over. 

And honestly, I'm gonna waste my time trying to reconnect with a group and put myself out there, only to basically be rejected and blocked and pushed away the minute I have an opinion of my own and I express it or I disagree with someone else's take. Everyone has thoughts, views, opinions, and a mind of their own. People aren't always gonna see eye to eye or have the same takes. If people can't handle someone having a difference of opinion and are gonna block people for disagreeing with them or asking a simple question, then maybe fanbases and communities aren't for these people. 

And then, there's the divide with the Mikaelsons. And by that, I mean people's perceptions and ideas of who the Mikaelsons are and their preference for TVD's version of the Mikaelsons and TO's version. And I mean this in the most respectful way possible, but TO's version was the absolute worst. TVD's version (or at least TVD S3, which was where the Mikaelsons shined best and in general was the last good season TVD had, the rest after that was pure shit), was it for me and the best depiction of who the Mikaelsons are, what they represent, and what they're all about. They didn't need to be changed, there was nothing wrong with them. They were perfectly fine as they were. Retconning and rewriting history is not character development. 

And it's sad, because both TVD and TO had loads of potential and so many things to explore and offer. They could've especially done right by the women on the show, considering the majority of the show's writers were women. There's a lot of things the writers could've done, but they dropped the ball completely in favor of two pointless love triangles that resulted in the other characters being shafted and not getting their deserved screen time, having almost every character be in a love triangle or only having relationship as their only storyline, and romanticizing and glamorizing toxic and abusive relationships, rape culture, racism, and so many other gross and degrading things that I just can't looked past or defend. My frustrations with the shows mainly stem with the writers.

Again, none of this is a knock at you. I don't mean any of this to offend or disrespect you in any way. I'm just venting and expressing how I feel. And I wish there were other people in the fandom, who are as respectful and as civil as you are. At least you try to be understanding and reasonable, and have never put down other people's opinions.

Hi! Welcome back to the fandom!

You're not wrong, it is just as toxic as always. However, there are some amazing people in the fandom that are willing to have great discussions!

But it is good to keep your mental health in mind. I have to take frequent breaks, especially when I post too many *controversial* opinions. I try not to block anyone because I think it just limits possible positive discussions, however, I do understand why people in this fandom block others. Things tend to escalate quickly.

To me, the best way to enter the fandom, if you are worried about the toxicity, is to find creators that love your favs. You may not agree on everything, but at least it's a good way to have safe discussions. Get to know the creators and then more complex discussions can follow.

There's a lot of great creators who I've talked to about a lot of the things you brought up. Especially about the Mikaelsons. I personally agree with a lot of what you said.

Feel free to send me asks or message me if you want to talk!

[calico-kiwi]

Oh noooo a complex female character how scary 🙄

????? help is this abt sandra lynn?? LMAO

look, i’m here to enjoy the series and, y’know what? i’m really enjoying it! i’m having a blast :D

characters are allowed to be nuanced and flawed and not perfect and she’s a character who very obviously has had some ups and downs, both in her life and how the party (and her daughter) has viewed her

i think she’s a beautiful character and i appreciate her complexity and the thought that’s put into her, brennan did a great job of keeping her consistent and i genuinely do appreciate her depth

but this is very much a thing i am watching for fun and that i’m not trying to analyze, and i get secondhand emotions from things i’m invested in pretty easily

so the whole situation with her that’s going on in sophomore year had me a bit more stressed an anxious than even some real life stuff was causing me

the easiest way for me to sort of process how i’m feeling about her is to recognize sometimes i’m upset with her (which, she’s not the only character i’ve done this with btw, i was plenty distraught and torn up about the whole gorgoug zelda situation and gorgoug forgetting the generator felt like a kick to the stomach) and then move on

she has her moments good and bad and instead of justifying either, i decided to take a step back, detach myself and go “i like that she did this! i did not like this!”

because quite frankly i was getting far more stressed out than something i’m watching to have a good time should make me

so yes, a complex female character indeed, and deep down, i do love her. but i’m allowed to be mad with her too and y’know what? i’m mad at her sometimes because i love her

so i understand if you sent this because you felt like i was attacking her, but i’m really trying not too and i think you missed the whole point of that post which was “i am going to feel about her how i feel about her in the moment because i am genuinely distressed and this is a fictional character”

also it’s ok to not like characters???? like if i said i hated sandra lynn that’s ok??? i can still hate something while admiring or i appreciating the fact from a meta standpoint her character is amazing and incredibly well played and developed. it’s when the hatred stems from bigoted thinking that it’s a problem, and it’s very much not, i’m just having an emotional response to a character in a series i’m emotionally invested in

good on the fantasy high d20 gang for impacting my emotions so much because that’s how you know they’re doing a great job!!

anyways this was fun to answer, i don’t get asks often, and it gave me a chance to rant :P

i would appreciate it though the next time you sent an ask (to anyone) to not come out swinging first, cause for this kind of situation something less accusatory wouldn’t sufficed just as well

like, “i was wondering, why don’t you like sandra lynn? i understand she’s done some shitty things, but not everyone is perfect and it feels like you’re holding her to some double standard of being unflawed because she’s a women” (i am not holding her to a double standard, im sorry if that’s what it seemed like, as i explained earlier in the post i responded to her actions that way to help preserve my mental lol)

that type of question gets the same point across, gives more detail (took me a minute to figure out who tf the original ask was about) and better explains what i may have messed up on so i can clarify, fix, or potentially apologize for it! (all in a less butt hurt or “let’s start some internet drama” sounding way)

thanks for the ask (no thanks for it being so rude, though i can understand where your frustration’s comping from), here’s a response, i wasn’t expecting anyone to come across that post and i’m just glad you’re not a bot or scammer in my inbox

i love just Never Shutting Up (as you can see by how long this got (unintentionally)) so please, i will talk about literally almost anything if you give me the chance, COME TO MY INBOX

[moth-tea-merchant]

[OP if this comes off as too ranty or conflict starting please tell me and I'll remove this] I do, to a degree ,get peoples distaste or frustration with SotO. It was all our first experience with Anet tackling a new format for expansions. We got to see what happens when they had the goals/expectations of continuing the same level of content quality as HoT/PoF/EoD [expansions which had 2 or 3 years of development time] within 1 year of development time. However I feel too many people ignore the fact they have acknowledged this.

"We introduced a lot of new characters, and the plot was too complex for what can be reasonably handled within an annual expansion. This left some character interactions feeling rushed and story threads unexplored. More isn’t always better."... "After extensive adventuring in Inner Nayos in recent months, it’s clear that using a single map as the main focal point for three releases is not ideal from a player or developer standpoint. Our decision to do so originally stemmed from production constraints and overlapping development timelines between expansions, but we’ve since identified some ways to mitigate those issues—both in terms of release structure and process improvements"... - Game Director, Josh Davis in the post 'Secrets of the Obscure: Looking Back and Forward'

These two public statements were regarding Anet admitting they'd bit off more then they could chew with SotO's Story and Map Design [the two things I see the most criticized] And while them apologizing doesn't mean you have to do away with all frustrations, it at least shows that they're listening to the things players are/were frustrated about and acknowledging it. They aren't plugging their ears and ignoring us. They are paying attention to what they could have done better with SotO. SotO wasn't an intentional middle finger, slap to the face to the player base. It was an expansion destined to have some degree of fumbling the bag. However that doesn't mean its without the ability to be enjoyed. There are many things it gave us to enjoy. Whether it be the characters they did get to expand on and the wizards, map visuals, strikes/fractal, new weapons, easier skyscale acquisition, skyscale/griffon updraft and lay-line use, or PvE legendary armor. It did bring good things to the table. That said I strongly believe that the player base had too high of expectations for SotO, given the fact we all knew that this was the test run of a new development format. I am not trying to blame people for their disappointment, but to go into SotO expecting the same quality as the other expansions is and was unrealistic. Maybe if Anet still had the 500 dev count it did back in HoT it could have gone smoother, but the fact is they're working on a dev count of 363 [source via LinkedIn] and while there's no current way to know how many of those devs were focused on developing SotO. However, if we are to assume its similar to the amount of devs they had working on the expansion during PoF, which according to former Game Director Mike O'Brien in an AMA was 70 people, that would be a pretty tall task when they've been given 1 year. TLDR: It would benefit players to start taking into account the behind the scenes, limitations and constraints of game development

Me: soto wasn't the best and parts of it were frustrating and rushed

Map chat: FUCK soto it sucked it was dogshit and guild wars sucks forever now also I'm going to mention hating taimi and braham just as a side note

Me: WELL NOW IT IS MY FAVORITE EXPANSION 🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕 FUCK YOU FOREVER

[dreadful-home]

Drawing My Homestuck Ships Part 2

Continuing doodling and talking about ships I like, lol.

1. EriNep: My eyes widened when the story mentioned Eridan tried getting into a relationship with Nepeta and we didn't get to see any of it. Since then, my head's been full of the possibilities. I hinted at it in my Meenah's Feferi AU, but I'd like to make an AU where Eridan gets character development by not being isolated from the group as he was, instead, hitching onto the Meowrals' dynamic. Think about it! As Equius has most of his attention on Aradiabot during the early days of the session, Nepeta 'gets stuck' with Eridan and the two gain a strange bond. Nepeta has a pension for picking up and managing pathetic saps (*looks at Equius*) so although he's annoyed her in the past, seeing him post-break up intrigues her cursed shipper heart to try to help him get out of his funk. Any stupidity thrown her way, she's able to bite back perfectly well, and at the threat of her leaving and him being alone, he would always calm down and apologize. Their spats slowly subside the more time they spend together (maybe she even sticks around his horrid world and helps soothe the Angels before the massacre really begins), and come near the end of their SGURB session, Equius is able to rejoin the dynamic again and makes an uneasy peace with his 'mortal enemy'as both are disgruntled highbloods watching their privilege being reduced to nothing. But with his new connection, Eridan doesn't think about leaving anymore. He's still mad, but not nearly as desperate. He's got friends now. And his connection with Nep only grows stronger when Gamzee snaps, Eridan is tasked by Equius to protect Nepeta, and he dies doing so. (May write the scene and more shippy moments in their friendship prior to dying later)

2. JadeTav: I WISH THEY GOT TO MEET. It didn't occur to me at all that Karkat was Jade's patron troll. I really thought it was Tavros! And I had hoped that his confession would bear fruit later on in the story, after they actually got to know each other better through the journey. Tavros really took it like a champ! It made me so proud of him :[ Maybe I should make an AU for it where Tavros lives and IS the troll to help her the most. I just think their friends-to-lovers potential was too strong and wrongfully cut short. They had a wholesome, supportive, and dorky dynamic. (And yeah maybe it would've been cool too to slap back Vriska's taunts about him being pathetic for being 'friendzoned' by having them be official later. They were good for each other, they just needed time.)

3. EquiKat: This stems, like I am realizing most of these ships do, from my desire of the canon interactions to have gone differently. I would have liked to have seen a rougher Equius that posed more of a threat to Karkat's leadership instead of him being all talk and no action. Yeah the bit is funny that he likes being bossed by lowerbloods, but I felt it would have been better to see more of the struggle of him not wanting to let go of his stubborn beliefs (and it'd help give him more reason to 'give in' to Gamzee killing him other than 'haha horni', that he was actually glad something was 'making sense' to him again).

So there'd be constant arguing between the two, Karkat getting especially vicious with the increasing criticism, eve having fun finding new ways to shut the indigo-blood up quicker just by getting closer to him, until enough time passes and he has the very disturbing realization that the headaches he got from having Equius around have been replaced with catharsis and clear-headedness after their arguments. Equius provides an outlet for him to get all his frustrations out, and after their big show of insults, the two are able to calmly talk things over, and Karkat can actually think clearly. He jas very clearly fallen into a pitch relationship with the sweaty horse troll. He's embarrassed, and the others jump at making fun of the situation.

Nepeta is baffled and miffed that he got into Karkat's shipping chart before her.

[purplespaceace]

very few characters actually have adhd in media, and when they do, what people mean by that is just that they fidget a lot, not that they have adhd. the only character with adhd I can think of where I’ve watched/read it and I’ve gone, “oh, this character actually has adhd” is Jake peralta from Brooklyn 99. so, here’s my take on how to write adhd, with examples from Brooklyn 99.

I’ll do the best I can to separate them into three categories; the three things people look for in adults with ADHD, which are rejection sensitivity dysphoria, an interest-based nervous system, and emotional hyperarousal.

I’ll also randomly bold and italicize bits so people with ADHD can actually read it.

Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria, or RSD

Rejection sensitivity dysphoria makes people with ADHD overly sensitive to criticism, even if they perceive a rejection and there actually isn’t one. Their emotions are also very strong generally. Because of RSD, people with ADHD become people-pleasers and can develop anxiety because they’re so eager to please.

For me, RSD makes me cry an embarrassing amount for any little reason. in your writing, make your characters overdramatic, criers, and/or people-pleasers. They’ll have trouble saying no. They may also be over competitive, as their perceived rejection may include losing.

how does Jake show this in b99? When Jake comes up with a catchphrase and Rosa says it’s terrible, jake is far more hurt than he should be. He hates losing, and he gets overly upset whenever someone says they don’t like him or don’t trust him, etc. he’s also a people pleaser who has trouble saying no.

An interest-based nervous system

An interest-based nervous system includes hyperfocuses and an inability to pay attention. It stems from the fact that we can’t make as much dopamine as neurotypicals. This means that while neurotypicals get dopamine after completing a task, people with ADHD don’t. That means that people with ADHD don’t have any reason to do tasks, especially those they don’t like. This leads to executive dysfunction—people with ADHD will know they have to or want to do something, but they can’t seem to do it. people with ADHD hyperfocus on things that bring them dopamine. I was obsessed with warrior cats for three years. But hyperfocuses can also last a short amount of time—I’ll have a drawing idea in the middle of class and won’t be able to concentrate on anything else before I finish it. this is where our impulsiveness comes from. we can leap into things we think will give us dopamine without thinking, which can lead to injury. We also tend to tell people personal things they don’t want to hear because of this, and don’t have very good boundaries. We sometimes say whatever comes into our head, which can also result in us being rude on accident. Our voices can also get very loud or we can interrupt people frequently because we’re so impulsive. When people with ADHD hyperfocus, they can forget about anything else. I’ll forget to eat if I’m busy reading a Wikipedia article about feminism in the 1850s, and won’t go to the bathroom or drink water either. It’s also important to note that taking away distractions doesn’t help, because we can do things like pick at our skin and daydream—something that people with ADHD do a lot of. Because of executive dysfunction, people can call people with ADHD lazy or irresponsible.

people with ADHD can also be extremely indecisive because ADHD affects our executive functioning, and making decisions requires planning and prioritizing, and task initiation, which are both executive functions!

people with ADHD also have poor memory for important things, but tend to remember random bits of trivia. Poor memory leads to object permanence problems, which means people with ADHD can forget to call a friend back for weeks, forget that they need to read library books in a closed cabinet, or forget that the vegetables they got will go bad. People can sometimes say that people with ADHD don’t care about anything because of this.

people with ADHD can also be prone to depression because of under or overstimulation. Boredom feels painful for people with ADHD. If we’re overstimulated, we can experience sensory overload—if things are too bright or too loud, if too many things are touching us at once—often it’s not because the thing is too intense, but because too many things are happening at once.

We also have something some people call dolphin brain, where we jump from one thing to another. From the outside, it looks really random, but I find that when I’m talking to another neurodivergent communication is generally easier. For instance, someone with ADHD might see a bee at a baseball field and tell their team about the time they saw whales at seaworld because their little brother was also stung by a wasp there. people will see no connection on the outside, but it makes perfect sense to the person with ADHD.

people with ADHD can also be overachievers, either because they hyperfocus on schoolwork or their RSD makes it so that failing at something isn’t an option. people with ADHD can also be very controlling and stubborn, probably because we hyperfocus on something and cant handle it being any different, and any change to our plans can be seen as rejection.

we can also have a hard time ordering our thoughts or doing stuff like math in our head. a lot of the time I number my thoughts like, 1. this reason, 2. this reason, etc. even if theres only two or sometimes I just need the 1. as a transition for my brain. when I don’t write it down or organize it like that it feels like I’m trying to grasp ropes that have been covered in oil (it’s not going to happen) and then my brain gets all jumbled and I have to restart at the beginning. this is probably just me, but it feels the same way when I’m reading long paragraphs of something uninteresting, or even short bits of historical documents because the way they phrase things is really pompous and hard to process.

also, stuff like caffeine calms us down and helps us focus. people who don’t take medication (me) often drink coffee or caffeinated sodas to focus.

another random tip, but if your character with ADHD also is genderfluid or genderflux, they might have a hard time figuring out their gender sometimes, because we can be known to have a hard time putting our feelings into words or our brains will just go, “nope, not thinking about that right now” and move on, which can be pretty frustrating.

people with adhd also have a trait called time blindness, where we have no idea how long something takes and therefore can’t manage our time very well. this often results in us being late or just sitting around the house because we got ready way too early.

we also have something called consequence blindness—we do things and are completely unaware of the consequences. if I don’t brush my teeth, I get cavities. but I don’t think about that when I’m deciding I’m too tired to brush my teeth.

in b99, jake regularly stays up all night solving cases and watches documentaries on random topics. He’s also very distractible—when they’re trying to find the person who sent Captain Holt death threats in the train yard, Jake says he and captain holt should take a train trip together sometime. Jake says that he’ll forget Amy if they don't work together because he’s like a goldfish.

Emotional hyperarousal

This is the only thing people tend to include when writing characters: the fidgeting. People with ADHD tend to need more stimulation than others, so we’ll do things like draw during class and chew on pens.

people with ADHD can also have apd, or auditory processing disorder. we tend to watch shows with subtitles on and may take a second to process what you’re saying, or hear it wrong. The subtitles thing may be partially do to creating just the right amount of stimulation, but if I don’t have subtitles, me and my other friends with ADHD will watch tv with the volume turned up very high. People with ADHD also can have a hard time interpreting other people‘s tone and have a hard time controlling their own. They can be bad at social cues and have poor manners because we don’t pick up on that stuff.

people with ADHD also tend to observe everything or nothing at any given time, mostly based on the amount of stimulation they have—if they dont have a lot in their main task, they’ll need to take in something else at the same time. Likewise, if I’m hyperfocusing on something I often don’t notice anything else, like if someone asks me a question.

in b99, Jake fidgets with things a lot. In the intro, he’s picking up and examining a figurine on his desk, likely because he was bored with paperwork or some other task.

[waitmyturtles]

@ranchthoughts, I'm sticking on something in your post regarding accountability, and trying to fashion my early-40s mind around what accountability might have meant to me when I was the age of the Only Friends characters.

I'm going to write separately on this in a bit, in a separate post about Cheum, but I think a frustration that I've felt about Only Friends during our watch of it is that as a viewer myself -- as a viewer of multiple random demographics that likely do not fit the majority demographics of the primarily Thai audience watching this show -- have I given these characters enough grace and space to allow them their own journeys of discovery re: accountability and personal/emotional responsibility? Exactly the kind of grace and space that I craved as a young twentysomething, going through my own personal changes at that time, and desiring to do so without judgement from friends and family?

This thought-line in part stems from tags on previous posts by @fromthedepthsandbeyond on Cheum (which I'll post about separately in a sec), and how international fans vs. Thai fans interpret her character (with Thai fans generally seeing Cheum as an efficient bridge among the others in the group).

But also, I'm thinking of conversations with @lurkingshan and @bengiyo about the balance of what works in dramas -- do we need a conclusive character development/behavioral change arc to feel satisfied with the outcome of a drama (cc to @twig-tea's exhortations about making final judgements until the conclusion of a series); or, if Jojo and team decide to get more realistic and leave the character arcs of these young fictional individuals open-ended -- as they would be in real life -- would we as viewers feel empty about where we leave them?

I have to admit, to Ranch's point above, that I'm really curious about where an accountability factor (or lack thereof) will take us with TopMew on Saturday. Top indicated that they were both accountable for their bad behavior in their dalliance together. What frustrated me about the end of that episode 11 TopMew storyline is that after Top's statement (and after Top pretended to leave, but didn't, lol awkward), Mew was essentially like, cool point, bruv, and they're back in bed together. In other words -- did I see Mew paying homage to his conflicting thoughts at that moment? No -- but he did pay homage to his conflicting thoughts earlier, with his mom, and in previous episodes, with Cheum, with everyone.

While I stated that I'm over ForceBook, I do wonder if I need to give more credit to Mew being wishy-washy because.... unless you had all the confidence and knowledge of an older person when you were a twentysomething, being wishy-washy is pretty normal for a 22-odd-year-old. It's par for the course as a young adult is leaning into further adulthood.

To Ranch's point -- to our whole ephemerality journey of this entire show -- if this show is about growth, it's about really slow growth, because in real life, this growth happens really damn slowly. If that's intentional by way of making a drama -- and making a successful drama -- then it's an interesting risk to take for the OF team. I've felt slogged, VERY often, by the toxicity of the characters in this show, but I have to admit that that hews extremely closely to my real life, being judged by a various cast of characters when I was their age, and figuring out what changes I wanted, and/or needed, to make along the way.

This shit happens super slowly, over the course of decades, as one gains life experience, and I wonder if the final episode is going to touch on this point before the series ends.

Moments of ephemerality/permanence/YOLO/photography/voyeurism/control/hypocrisy/accountability etc. in Only Friends episode 11

we're in the home stretch now folks... look how far we've come

Ephemerality, YOLO, and permanence

QUITE a lot about ephemerality and permanence and the idea of "you only live once" this episode:

Sand tells Yo sometimes you have to take a risk in love, because maybe one day you will get really lucky and win the lottery -> YOLO

Top tells Mew that if Mew doesn't think he can forgive him it would be better to just end it, that living in uncertainty and fluctuating circumstances is painful -> the pain of ephemerality

As they discuss their fight from last episode, Sand says next time Ray should listen first before getting upset -> Ray (and other characters) are impulsive and don't reflect before acting or speaking

Boeing tells Mew "I'm not going to wish you luck. You aren't going to make it anyways" -> Boeing thinks Mew and Top's relationship is not permanent or lasting

Ray and Sand make future plans to go to a music festival together -> planning for the future, anticipating permanence

Top says it is obvious Mew will never get over or forget what Top and Boston did, so what is the point of getting back together (Top's actions are too permanent and lasting), Mew asks if they can start over -> Mew is trying to have an ephemeral point of view about Top and Boston but he is struggling, he wishes it was as simple as starting over (which he already asked Top to do way back in episode 2); Top doesn't believe Mew can be "ephemeral" about this and says he doesn't know if he wants this second chance (if Mew and him have a lasting future together)

Mew's mother says if Mew still cares for Top and wants a future with him he is going to have to forgive (but not forget), she points out that when Top and Mew fight in the future he can't bring up Top's old actions every time, that if Mew is giving Top a chance he needs to move on too -> again, the idea of being ephemeral and permanent (forgiving and moving past things, but not forgetting entirely)

Mew tells Top that he might bring up Top sleeping with Boston up in fights in the future, that he doesn't know if he can fully forgive, and Top says "let's just leave it to the future" -> both a bit of a YOLO mindset, but also with an eye towards permanency and having a future together

Boeing has applied to be a flight attendant -> a job that involves a lot of moving, not staying in the same place very much, etc.

Boeing strikes out with Mew and Top and immediately goes after Ray and Sand -> sowing chaos where ever and whenever, not tied to any particular couple/person or plan

Sand says he wants to be rich so "On a boring day, I would just go to the airport and pick where I want to go without caring about the cost" -> once again we see the idea that wealth allows you to live in the moment, to live ephemerally and without consequences, that boredom is an issue for the wealthy but it can be rectified easily by being spontaneous (and that wealthy people seek out spontaneity/live life with a YOLO mindset because they are frequently bored)

Ray sings aloud in the record store -> against social norms to do so and Sand is shocked and quickly goes to stop him, Ray (and wealthy people as a whole) don't think of consequences in the same way as others

Boston and Nick discuss relationships - that Boston hasn't been interested in relationships because he is moving to New York soon, that Nick might be an exception to this rule, then Boston proposes being boyfriends for the short time until he leaves, Nick questions what is the point of being boyfriends then, Boston says "I just want to spend the time I have left loving you" -> the ephemerality of Boston's relationships and time in Thailand and how that informs his YOLO approach to life, the permanency and steadfastness of Nick in Boston's life, Boston proposing a solid and definitive relationship (boyfriends) that is nonetheless quite ephemeral (it has a short time frame) while being conclusive (it has a defined time frame) and also a bit YOLO (even if it is short lived, it doesn't mean they shouldn't go for it - @lurkingshan talked about that here, as did @thatgirl4815 here)

Boston says what he likes about Nick is how Nick stands by him regardless of what he has done -> the permanence and constancy of Nick

Ray says "I collect a lot of details about you" to Sand -> the permanency of memory, collecting and archiving moments and details

Boeing appeals to Sand with concert tickets and reminiscing about visiting music festivals in the past together, but Sand doesn't take the opening to reminisce -> again, memories and the permanency of past and connection, but also the ephemerality of both things (Sand doesn't want to go down memory lane, people might forget things, etc.)

Sand says he doesn't want to swim with Ray and Boeing because he doesn't have any underwear -> Sand is not a YOLO guy in many ways, he's thinking about consequences

Change

I've been tracking changes in the characters as well as how the characters talk about change over the past many weeks (1, 2, 3, 4), and as we head into the home stretch of OF it's interesting to see where characters are landing:

Dan tells Nick "Whatever you want me to do or to be, just let me know" -> change is possible, Dan can change to be whatever Nick wants in a relationship

Mew has been a bit all over the place (he said was skeptical of Top's ability to change and repent, then he had hope and wanted to give Top a second chance, then the appearance of Boeing made him hesitate again, etc.) but his general stance seems to be that people are capable of change, it just takes a lot of time and effort -> this episode, Mew once again says he wants to give Top a second chance, but actually wonders more about his own ability to change (will he be able to move on from Top's actions?)

Boeing says Top will be doing stuff like sleeping with other people in the future too, so it would be better for Mew to be with someone else -> Boeing, like many others, says that Top can't change

Boston says he hasn't been interested in relationships but Nick might be an exception -> Boston acknowledges a change with in himself and his own approach to relationships, he isn't afraid of trying something new

Honesty

We've had a fair amount of honesty in the last couple of weeks (1, 2), and not just to cause as much drama and pain as possible, like Boston and Ray's outbursts in episodes 5 and 6, but honesty that goes hand in hand with communication, boundaries, and accountability.

Dan upfront tells Nick he wants to be his boyfriend and asks permission (consent!)

Nick tells Atom directly he wants to flirt with him (consent!)

Mew tells Top he doesn't think he can forgive what Top did, and that he might bring it up in fights in the future

Top tells Mew his feelings about Mew playing around with Boeing, and is upfront that if Mew doesn't think he can get over it they should just end their relationship now (and is honest that that would hurt him, even more than Boeing and Mew sleeping together)

Boston is honest with Nick about leaving for New York and the time frame of their relationship if they were to be boyfriends

Boundaries

Of course, I've also been tracking both the setting and crossing of boundaries in this show (1, 2, 3, 4). This episode:

Mew tells Top on the phone not to come with him and "Cheum" on their hangout, Top shows up to see Mew anyways

Dan asks Nick if he can be his boyfriend, he says he is worried he is putting too much pressure on Nick

Sand is not answering his phone so Ray goes to find him

Boeing tells Mew Top told him to leave Mew alone

When approaching Atom, Nick immediately establishes if Atom is available or not and asks for consent to flirt with him

Top shows up at Mew's mothers' home, they invited him and have been in contact with him without Mew knowing

Ray asks Sand if he should be jealous of Boeing and Sand says no so Ray says he won't be jealous (I mean, up to interpretation if you think Ray actually followed through on not being jealous but...)

Top says he doesn't want to force Mew to make a decision, that he will give him space

Photography and social media

More and more photography! voyeurism! surveillance! social media!

Boston takes photos of Atom and Nick together as proof against Atom's claims, he threatens to post the photos on social media

Boston makes reference to an anonymous account that Atom has been using to make accusations of Boston

Boston takes so many photos of Nick he fills an entire roll of film

Boston uses photography as a metaphor for exclusivity ("But from now on there will be only your photos. Because I will only sleep with you")

Comparison

Different type of comparisons happening this episode compared to other ones - it was more focused on drawing parallels between behaviours and feelings vs. comparing with the intention to put someone down:

Yo and Sand compares Yo to Plug in terms of relationships and life outlook

Nick draws parallels between him and Atom (both experiencing the pain of one sided love, etc.)

Boston draws parallels between what he does to Atom and what Atom did to him (threatening to expose Atom on social media)

Atom's words at the bar echos Nick's in the electronics store, that Atom just wants Boston to love him like Atom loves him

Consequences and accountability

The final topic I wanted to touch on here is the idea of consequences and accountability. In the past four weeks (1, 2, 3, 4) we've had a lot of apologies, some accountability for behaviour, a lot of talk about consequences: Top and Boston apologizing to Mew for sleeping together, Sand apologizing to Nick for stealing the sex tape, Top and Cheum worrying about long-term consequences for Mew's party boy stint, Ray and Mew coming clean about their attempted relationship, Nick apologizing to Boston for taping him, Sand and Ray's father talking to him about his alcoholism, Ray going to rehab and realizing what Sand has done for him, Boston reconciling with Nick, etc. We've also had the fallout from Top and Boston sleeping together, Nick recording the tape, Sand sharing the tape, Mew dating Ray to get back at Top, Ray's drunk driving, Atom accusing Boston of rape, and so on.

This episode we had more about consequences and accountability: Nick and Boston confronting Atom, Atom coming clean to Cheum, Top and Mew talking about Mew's revenge plans (and Mew giving them up), Sand and Ray reconciling, etc. But I wanted to talk about some themes and details I noticed about these moments in this episode.

Firstly, Nick tells Atom "Just because he doesn't want to sleep with you, you don't have to go this far. It can ruin your future". We've talked a lot about how these young [mostly wealthy] people are living a very ephemeral, YOLO life where they don't consider the consequences or impacts of their actions (see 1, 2 and links above). Here, Nick directly brings up the long term consequences of Atom's accusations, how serious they are. Boston's future could have been ruined: he could have faced criminal charges, his father's campaign could have been impacted, he would have been outed. It's interesting that it is Nick (and Boston) noting the serious and life-altering consequences - Nick, who could face criminal charges for his recorded sex tape; Boston, who famously sleeps with who he wants and says what he wants without considering how his friends will feel or react. It shows a real moment of growth, especially for Nick. Nick two episodes ago gave a heartfelt apology to Boston for what he did and took accountability for his actions (vowing to leave Boston alone). He experienced the consequences of his actions (the man he loved rejected him and was very angry with him, the tape also messed up the relationships of many other people). Nick learned regret, he learned how to consider consequences, and he learned the importance and benefits of sincere accountability - after his heartfelt apology and gesture, Boston let Nick back into his life. It seems Nick and Boston's confrontation spoke to Atom, as Atom then went to Cheum and admitted his lies.

And, as some other people like @starryalpacasstuff have pointed out, this confrontation with Atom serves as a way for Nick and Boston to reflect further on their own/each other's behaviour: Nick fell for someone after sleeping with them once/only a few times and Boston realizes this, Nick acknowledges that being rejected doesn't mean you need to try to ruin someone's life, Boston realizes the pain Nick has been in due to his unrequited love, Nick says not to fall for an asshole and Boston recognizes that asshole as himself. Self-recognition through the other.

This episode also explored revenge as a form of consequence. As retribution for his false accusations, Nick and Boston set Atom up to get photos of him they threaten to post on social media. As retribution for sleeping with Boston, Mew hangs out with Top's ex Boeing. In both these cases, the actions the person takes for revenge are the actions perpetrated against them. Atom has an anonymous account online where he is posting his accusations of Boston, so Boston threatens to expose him as he exposed Boston by posting the photos of Atom kissing a man on social media. Top slept with Boston, so Mew flirts with Top's ex Boeing. Boston and Mew are looking to punish Atom and Top, they want them to face consequences for their actions, and they decide to weaponize what was used against them to do it.

However, the episode also shows revenge is not necessarily the best way to receive accountability and resolve grievances. I used the word retribution a lot above - retribution is not exactly closure, or accountability, or healing. Atom does come clean about his lies (to Cheum at least), but Boston doesn't have to post the photos in order for him to do so. Top tells Mew, "One day you might want to get revenge on me again. You're paranoid, I'm paranoid. This cycle will never end" - they could be trapped in a cycle of distrust and pain if Mew doesn't stop seeing revenge as the only remedy for what Top did. Revenge is unsatisfying, it doesn't solve the problem or mend the hurt.

And along the same line, sometimes the retribution and consequences you'd want don't happen. Atom comes clean to Cheum but she doesn't say much about it (remains to be seen if Boston gets an apology from his former friends if he even wants it). Mew is struggling because he can't quite forgive Top but his plans of revenge aren't going the way he wants them to and there's no apology or remorse from Top that will let him forget what happened. Sometimes we can't get the catharsis we want or need in life.

I've also been playing with the idea of change and accountability: that accountability requires accepting what you did wrong and making amends (changes) to fix it, and that recognizing and accepting someone else taking accountability means believing others can change. To use an example, Mew needs to believe that Top can change (that he won't do the same thing again if given a second chance) if he is to believe Top's apologies and the action Top is doing to take accountability, and Mew needs to change a bit himself for them to move on (he needs to let the idea of revenge go, he needs to soften his pride, etc. if he wants what he wants [Top as a boyfriend]). Top tells Mew "I know what I did can't be undone. You want me to pay and take revenge on me. But I want you to know that you don't have to do anything. I've already suffered enough. I'm disgusted with myself already just thinking about not being able to hold you again one day". Top says he has changed, but Mew doesn't let himself see it so he continues to hurt them both by treading the same ground over and over. (we could also note that sometimes people create their own punishments for their actions which may be much more effective than anything an outsider could do to them... there's a lot of self-loathing and self-destructive behaviour on this show.)

We could even ask what the point of consequences are if not to inspire change?

I will finish this off with one last comment: there has been a lot of talk about the effects and impacts of alcohol this series - today we even had Sand's dad say "You're drinking? You're young, take care of your health". Sand once again talked to Ray about the impacts of drinking ("I don't want you to get drunk too much. I want you to get health check ups every year. I don't want you to drive drunk"). Finally, Sand wonders if Ray hanging out with kids for 6 hours has really made him learn/reflect on the consequences of drunk driving.

happy monday (or tuesday) ephemerality squad: @chickenstrangers, @clara-maybe-ontheroad, @colourme-feral, @distant-screaming, @lurkingshan, @neuroticbookworm, @rocketturtle4, @slayerkitty, @thatgirl4815, @twig-tea, @waitmyturtles, @wen-kexing-apologist

[blackdragonbeauty]

Wrathion Slander

I really need to vent about this as it's REALLY bothering me.

Wrathion is... or WAS... such a better character. He's a far more complicated character than most might realize, and is a character I can personally relate to as an abuse survivor.

I'm so pissed off about Wrathions "development" in Dragonflight. In Visions of Nzoth; we get to see him being more mature, more calculated, more tempered compared to when we meet him in Pandaria. HE WAS ACTIVELY GROWING UP AND BEING MATURE. But blizzard turned it around and DESTROYED ALL HIS PROGRESS JUST FOR "haha young dragon is brat!"  and just.... It's so frustrating as someone who watched a character grow and mature and living vicariously through that.

I'm so pissed how people treat him. Both players and npcs. Sabellian and co had DECADES on Outland and had SO MUCH time to learn how to free their kin. Yet they CHOSE NOT TO. Now they scream and cry "OH WRATHION IS SO HORRIBLE! HE CHOSE TO KILL THEM INSTEAD OF HELP THEM!" When they BLANTANTLY leave out massive facts... ya know... Like how Wrathion was hatched DURING the Cataclysm??? The time where the entire flight was ACTIVELY RIPPING APART AZEROTH?!!?!?! His choices at that time were  a) get killed by the black flight. b) get killed by the red flight. c) get corrupted and then killed like the rest. or d) Protect azeroth from the flight.

Wrathion wasn't born with the information OR time to learn how to free them. Had he tried, he would have put himself at GRAND danger of being killed by the old gods or by Deathwing and the flight themselves. THERE. WAS. NO. TIME. contrary to what Sabellian and co say.

Wrathions trauma stemmed not just from Deathwing, but from the Red Flight too. We the players, get to help Rheastraza purge a black egg... which turns out to be wrathion. But those who didn't play Rogue in Cataclysm; don't know that. Which pisses me off as his origins are so hidden. and It's so vital. Now you and this red dragon put this egg through so many tests, which we later read in Wrathions journal; HE REMEMBERED THEM. And they were intrusive, violating, painful. But the agony doesn't stop there; he was taken to a red dragon area where he was "looked after." Based on the way the leader there (i forget her name) spoke about the egg when it was stolen away by the Rogues of Ravenholdt manor she clearly didn't care about him as a whelp. Just as a thing.. or seemingly worse. A *black egg.*   ya know.. despite being let in on the fact that this egg was purged.

now when the Rogue player character gets sent to steal him back; we find that he's hatched... and pissed. Wrathion hires you to help him fight off the flight, while sending back the red dragon who accompanied said player with broken legs with a message that "he won't be a prisoner to anyone anymore." ya know... reasonable. a tiny bit aggressive but reasonable. But that's the worst he did at this point. AND IT WAS JUSTIFIABLE.

Once you finish his final quest, "Patricide." You come back TO FIND THE WHOLE MANOR BEING ASSAULTED BY THE RED FLIGHT. Instead of trying to reason with him, treat him as a sentient person, or any care; THEY JUST DECIDE TO MURDER HIM AND EVERYONE IN THE AREA.

Now to Pandaria.. We find him a lot in the Valley where if we remember well, is DESTROYED with Sha menace. Sha.. or also knowns as "the Breaths of Y'sharj"... old god. If we remember how old gods work; they THRIVE on negative emotions; paranoia, fear, anger, pride.... Gee sounds familiar?? Ya, Wrathion was a PRIME target and was so actively close to it all. But we forget; N'zoth was still active at that time too. Wrathion makes a comment in later years, during Visions of Nzoth, about despite him being purged; ***he wasn't immune.*** Now why would Wrathion who wants to help and protect azeroth, go to lengths for chaotic actions?? He was led astray without being aware of it. And since he was so secretive; all we could assume was that his attitude was just him and that he was just a dumb idiot.... I believe that Wrathion during pandaria was influenced. And having consumed the heart of Y'sharj... only worsened his chaotic emotions that OTHERS have destroyed. Yet he's treated like he's just an idiot... Ya he fucked up; but there's so much more to him.

Now i'm so pissed how Alexstraza treats him. She seems aware of how his situation started; yet still makes scathing comments and COMPLETELY disregards the idea of perhaps mending the rift between them???? Some fucking "Queen." And from the history I've seen of her; she only really cares about herself, her flight and those she chooses. Unless it's a Very Big Event^TM which was like... 2 times?? So many things could have been stopped had she done her damn job.

SPEAKING OF DOING HER DAMN JOB: Doing quests with Emberthal, we found a recording of Neltharion talking about how Alexstraza and the other aspects refused to believe him when he tried to warn them about the Incarnates war. HE TRIED TO WARN THEM AND GET HELP. THEY ABANDONED HIM! THEY BETRAYED HIM AND HE SUFFERED FOR IT.

UGH!! I'M SO PISSED HOW THE BLACK FLIGHT IS BEING JUST... THROWN AROUND STUPIDLY. THEY'RE SO MUCH MORE. THEY'RE SO BEAUTIFUL AND THEY DESERVE TO BE WRITTEN BETTER.

[positivecomet]

Let me take a minute to talk about Evan Buckley. Specifically the Buck Backlash from last night’s episode.

First, you should probably read this amazing post by @evandiaz.

Now, I want to talk about Parts Work Therapy.

Parts-therapy/parts work therapy (which I’ll call PWT) is the concept that our personality is composed of a number of various parts from our subconscious. These parts can generally be broken into categories, like your inner critics (that voice in your head telling you you’re a garbage person and probably the one doing the highlight reel of all your mistakes when you’re trying to sleep), your Wise Mind (the part of you where your emotions meet your rational mind), and your inner child (we’re all probably familiar with that one). But there can be oodles of parts of you that are quiet or buried or even frozen.

Here’s an example. In my personal work with PWT, my therapist and I have discovered a part of my subconscious I call No Face. Have you ever seen Miyazaki’s “Spirited Away”? That’s where I get the name from. In that film, No Face is the lonely spirit who takes whatever anyone gives him and eats it, no matter what it costs him, no matter what it does to him after. And he can’t stop himself, not even when he gets so large he’s trapped in the bathhouse. His behavior is self-destructive and sad and—in my opinion—stems from a desperation to be seen, needed, and wanted. 

“How did you develop such a part?” you ask. Simple answer: Childhood emotional abandonment and neglect. 

Sometimes, looking at Buck is like looking in a mirror.

Now, early in my PWT journey, I spent a lot of time analyzing my own behavior. “Why did I do that?” I’d ask, frustrated. “That’s something I would have done 10 years ago. I should be better than that by now.” My therapist and I would rely on a (very) incomplete metaphor of a car to discuss this. 

See, for a lot of us, our Wise Mind is usually in the driver’s seat. Sure, maybe our inner critic is side-seat driving and it makes us feel like garbage, but we get along okay. But other times, especially when wounded parts are triggered or you’re under an enormous amount of stress or you can’t hold back the floodgates of all the trauma you’ve been suppressing, another part of you may take control of the car, rendering your Wise Mind useless. Or parts of you can become blended, muddling your ability to make clear, rational decisions.

One of my favorite Buck examples of this is in “Buck Begins”: “Two dinners! Two dinners—that’s all it took and I am twelve years old again...” When with his parents, Buck’s Wise Mind goes immediately out the window and a younger, traumatized part takes control. He knows how he should behave, but he can’t seem to stay on that track.

SO. Let’s look at Buck now. His family is fractured physically by Maddie, Chim, and Eddie no longer being at the firehouse. He knows that Hen is struggling without Chim at work but he can’t do anything about that. He can see that Eddie is still struggling, but no amount of kitchen heart-to-hearts is getting him to open up. Buck, whose self-worth hinges on his ability to help other people (“You’re the guy who likes to fix things”), finds that he can’t help the people who need him. All he can do is sit around and wait.

It is also my personal belief that Taylor is a particular trigger for a lot of Buck’s traumas. I actually like Taylor as a character, but some of the ways she interacts with Buck make me feel ill (and, yes, that’s definitely projecting). In the scene where she tells him she loves him, the “don’t make it weird” almost put me in the ground. Because a people-pleaser like Buck? I think he immediately stopped whatever true emotional reaction he was having, reassessed, and then gave her a response he thought she would want to hear. And then repeated that response to himself over and over internally until it became something that felt true.

Watching the scene at the bar in 5x11 brought me to tears because I felt like I was witnessing a very young, very wounded part of Buck take control of the car. In his hesitation between backing away from Lucy and giving in, it was like watching his Wise Mind blend with and then give control over to this part. “Give me attention, keep your eyes on me,” it seemed to be saying. “Make me feel like I’m worth something to someone, even just for this moment.” And it echoes the I-slept-with-my-therapist behavior we saw in s1. Sex is a way to be able to put down this emotional burden, even if it’s just for the moment, even if it doesn’t fix anything later. It’s “whatever consequences come later will be worth it as long as I can stop feeling this way right now.” That, my friends, is a learned behavior that’s incredibly difficult to un-learn.

Later in the episode when we see him ask Taylor to move in with him, that’s another part wresting control of the vehicle. His Wise Mind is telling him to tell her what happened so they can move forward; the part of him that fears more rejection, abandonment, and change is overcorrecting to keep her from leaving at any cost. This is the same part I saw when he says super firmly to Hen, “I love her.” Who are you trying to convince, my man?

I am not trying to justify Buck’s mistakes. But I think we need to appreciate how amazingly nuanced the writing and acting of his character are. He feels like a real person. His mistakes feel real. We may not like them or agree with them, but I for one can’t wait to see where the writers take his journey this season and into s6.