#This year on my bday (I have to wait until after hers is done bc she loves her gd bday) she says

[mommyhorror]

I’m becoming less petty about Father’s Day each year but still slightly petty. Like instead of harboring anger towards my absent father now I text him that I hope he has a good day w his new kids lmfao. But I mean it!!

[hiddles-evans-hallucinations]

Picnic as OUR start

Request: “Can I request a Chris with a younger actress(22)and they worked on a movie together and so they do a buzzfeed quiz interview and one of the questions is like "whats your ideal date" and she picked a picnic date bc shes never been on one & so on her bday Chris decides to surprise her with one even though they're just friends(for now) & she gets shy and kisses his cheek as a thank you which surprises him cause shes not usually affectionate or shy with him... just a small idea can u add more to it.” - By Anon

Pairing: Chris Evans x Famous Reader

Genre: Fluff 

Warnings: None

Note: Inbox me for another request! <3 

Taglists: @patzammit​ @joannaliceevans-fanficblog​

*gif are not mine*

After the movie is out, you and Chris are busy doing press interviews and going to premiere here and there. Chris was paired with you romantically in the movie, the two of you became close throughout the process, you become good friends and the chemistry on and off set completes your relationship with each other. 

“Hi, I’m (Y/N/L/N).” 

Chris added, “Chris Evans here and we’re doing the Buzzfeed Quiz.” You grin goofily at the camera. 

“Do you want to read the question together or do you want to take turns? When I was doing this with Mark, we read the question together so..” You shook your head no at him because you know that he reads fast and loud and you’d end up losing it. 

“What is your character flaw? Caring too much, too loyal, easy to persuade, hard to commit?” 

“I think I’m too loyal, right, Chris?” You joked, bumping your elbow with his. “If you haven’t seen the movie, you should, and you’ll know.” you said to the camera winking as Chris turns his head to you with his mouth open. 

“Not cool, I’m loyal!” 

You roll your eyes at him. “Uh....” you respond making fun of him as everyone laugh. 

“I think you’re hard to commit.” You whisper to him but making sure everyone in the room heard it too as they laugh again. Chris scoffs, shaking his head as he clicks the answer caring too much. You burst out in laughter as you bury your head on his shoulder. 

Chris has been really comfortable around (Y/N), since the first time he lays his eyes on her, he likes having her around and he was fortunate enough to work with her and spending a lot of time together on and off set. She’s outgoing but she’s not over the top, she can be if she wants to. She’s so nice, Chris always thinks that he’s kind of a nice person, but (Y/N) is like the friendliest person anyone could ever want to meet, the fame doesn’t get her over her head like people her age, but she’s kind, and she’s funny and her personality makes everyone loves her more. 

You’ve been close with Chris as friends, you have the same sense of humor, same desire when it comes to a party and your chemistry off set comes naturally, nobody is pushing the two of you to do anything, when the trailer was out and there was a scene of you two kissing, the media went crazy talking about the age gap between you two. You didn’t care, you never feel like age is something that can hold someone’s back from doing something, like having a profession to stay in. Chris, on the other hand grew concern when he was asked in an interview how it feels to make out with someone half his age. But, you back him up. “It’s not like he shoved his tongue to a 12-year old girl, gosh.. what is it with you guys and age difference?” 

Chris saw your maturity there, you weren’t snapping at the interview with raging anger, you were annoyed because you don’t want anyone to think that your co-star is less than who he is. You always think that he’s more, because out of everyone you worked with, he’s different, he’s very easy going and you don’t feel like you have a title of someone who’s fortunate enough to be famous or anything like that. 

Chris feels the same way, he feels secure when you’re around and somehow he wants to make you feel the same way as he does; secure.

“Okay, last one.” 

“What is your ideal date? Walk in the park, dinner date, picnic date, movie date and just turning it up.” You read as you laugh at the last sentence. “What does that mean turning it up? Like getting turnt?” You playfully dance with both of your hands up in the air as Chris joined you dancing and making everyone in the room laugh. 

“I would choose a picnic date, cause I’ve never been.” 

Chris raises his brow at you. “You’ve never been?” 

You shook your head no. 

Chris says “whoa” under his breath and you frown at him. “No, no, no it’s not like that.” he said with a chuckle and lean back to the chair to see what he’s going to answer. 

“I love a movie date at home so, that’s my choice.” 

You nodded your head at him as both of you wrap up the interview and leave the room. “I heard it’s your birthday tomorrow,” he said as you both walk back to the room Buzzfeed provided for you two to wait, eat, did your makeup and change clothes and so on. 

“Yeah, what are you gonna get me?” 

Chris laughed. “A snake.” 

Your eyes widens. “Well, might as well throw spiders at you.” 

He made a disgusting face and shivers making you laugh. “Oh no.” 

“What’s your plan this year?” he asks. 

“Just staying at home, I’ve been to tired so I’m gonna stay in.” 

He nodded his head. “Alright, I’m gonna go home and sleep.” You said to him as you wrap your arms around him hugging him tight. 

“See ya, (Y/N).” 

. . . . 

You were lounging around your house in LA, you bought it about a year ago, it wasn’t that big not like a mansion but when you live alone it’s big enough. You were wearing your navy silk pajamas with its shorts, sitting on your living room after talking with your family over Facetime. You were watching Brooklyn 99 when someone rings your bell. You check your phone but there’s no one telling you that they’re coming over. 

You walk to your door and find someone standing there with a sunflower bouquet over his face. You waited until he reveals his face and it’s Chris. 

A smile appears on your face just immediately after he poke his head over the bouquet. 

“Happy birthday.” 

You feel your cheeks blushed as you shyly walk over to him and hug him. “Thank you, but what are you doing here?” you ask but before you invite him in, he lifts up a picnic basket causing you to look at him with your mouth slightly open. 

“Chris..” 

“We’re going on a picnic date cause you’ve never been before.” 

Chris looks at you nervously, he was bargaining with himself if this is a good idea or not because you already told him that you wanted to stay in for your birthday. 

“Chris, that’s so thoughtful.” You lean forward to plant a kiss on his cheek which took him by surprise, you’re not as affectionate as this before.”Thank you, again.” you said. You’re known to not be an affectionate person to anyone, yes, you’d hug them, but on a daily basis, you just think that it has to be done with the right person or people, cause one of your fear is when you’re too affectionate with someone, you’d end up hurting when they turn against you. 

Chris stood there, surprised. Trying to calm himself down of what you just did. “Are you ready?” he jokes. 

You look down to what you’re wearing and frown. 

“No, but come in, give me 5-minutes to change.” 

You put on your dress, you didn’t bother to put on a makeup, you just spray some perfume on you and walk out to find Chris smiling at you. 

“Do you wanna go to the beach?” He looks over outside of your backyard and shook his head as he smiles. 

“Nah, out there is fine.” Chris said holding out his hand to you. 

He sets the mat as you hold the basket and watch him sit and invite you to join him. Chris took out the polaroid camera out of the basket and say, “I have to make this as memorable as possible.” You laugh as you tuck a hair behind your ear shyly. 

You can picture your cheeks as red as a tomato. Chris noticed that you’re so red as he took out all of the fruits, he even brings pizza and PBJ. “Champagne?” 

“Yes, please.” 

You leave your phone inside so you can enjoy the picnic with him. Chris holds his polaroid to you and say, “Smile.” you smile shyly at him as the it rolls out the picture. 

You take it from him and tell him to smile. 

You never realize how beautiful he is, you know he is, but you never spend time alone just the two of you. 

As you eat your food, you talk about what you’re going to do, what’s your plans, he asks if you have any other dreams that you haven’t achieved. 

“Probably just thinking about myself.” 

He arches his brow. “I always think about others, and I couldn’t seem to get myself close to someone. I’m afraid about losing a lot of things.”

Chris managed to place his hand on your cheeks. You shut your eyes as you let out a sigh. 

“Comere.” he said as you bit your lower lip and he leans lower to you and press his lips to yours.

Once Chris pulls away, he said, “Well, let’s make this picnic a start of us, and you will never have to be scared of losing me, or anything, cause, I will do everything to keep you with me.” 

You smiled and kiss him again, more passionate and deeply this time. 

“Don’t make me take you down here.” 

You arches your brow at him. “I don’t mind, do you?” 

The rest is history. But for now, you’re glad that his idea on taking you on your first picnic date turns into something that you’d never imagine of. 

[krajtaz]

i wanna know abt the horrible girl i love drama and being mean

WELL it's less drama more her being an incompetent person and a piece of shit but um ✌️ buckle down if u rly wanna listen. watch the tags though, it's a lot and im definitely oversharing, ❤️

so let's call her emma for the sake of sense. me and my current best friend (let's call her... leah) used to be really good friends like last year. that's good to know.

her offenses include:

treating me & leah horribly

making jokes about a really traumatic experience leah went through

treating us like we weren't allowed to talk to other people

playing the victim through it all

veganism 💔

ok so last year we were all friends. all was fine. emma started acting out in around.. october last year? yeah i think. it started off as her just being... moody. a lot. i didn't mind at first because im also a cunt so whatever right. i thought she was going through a rough patch so i let it slide. (she was going thru stuff but i'll talk about that later)

then she just gradually became worse and worse to be around. rude, dismissive to anything that wasn't about her, constantly making jokes about suicide (when she knew leah was recovering from an attempt), making leah buy her food, and making both me and leah feel like shit by constantly telling us we should "really do something about our faces" (when her skin had only cleared up a month prior). the last one seems like a minor offense but it made me hate her ♡

me and leah stopped talking to her as often as we used to, because i honestly didn't wanna deal with her. WELL. emma decided we weren't allowed to do that, and got mad at us every time we didn't wait for her after class or???? sat in different places during lunch??? she was so horrible and manipulative all the time it was genuinely so much just going to school when u knew she was gonna do all this shit.

she would often accuse me of her own goddamn behavior (for example that i was the one making people feel bad about their skin), say i'm horrible to be around and a bad friend, lash out at harmless jokes (like swinging scissors at me for mentioning i'm two months older than her), call leah fat behind her back (and then mention this during PE class and how she should work out more (leah is a fucking athlete???)).

me and leah pretty much cut her off as much as we could. the issue was that she sat with us in pretty much every class (we have desks for 3 people and she sat in the middle). made school horrible for leah.

then quarantine hit. and it was radio silence until like. mid-april. nothing from her not even on my bday. i thought we were finally fucking done with her but then she sent leah a MILE LONG message. not kidding. wrote a fucking essay. jesus.

it was a miserable attempt at an apology during which she??? described how hard it was for her to be respectful towards leah regarding her suicide attempt, said she was "fed up with life" and needed to express it somehow (im guessing the suicide jokes? wow), said that her bodyshaming leah was done out of genuine concern and her own insecurities (which is what she was going through like i said way in the beginning. that, and like. a mild case of depression. which she coped with by taking it out on us ❤️). ended the message with a "i hope we can still be friends". which like. LMAO. but that was her apology for leah.

mine was like. SIGNIFICANTLY shorter. actually, Leah's was ±10 paragraphs and mine was 6 lines in its entirety. which fits because she swore leah was her best friend and i was a tagalong the whole time💞 did wonders for my sense of friendship with anyone

leah responded to her apology and i just sort of. read it and deleted the convo after a week because i was 💖 a coward . ❤️

yeah but that's the backstory & the heaviest shit. now, she somehow thinks we're still friends and used to demand i help her with school back before quarantine²... lmao... she seemed to be less shitty after the break so i wasn't actively homicidal near her but yeah i still didn't wanna fucking interact every day

now, on top of all this she is a vegan of the highest degree in mind only. meaning she'll eat eggs and bacon but conduct a passionate speech about how im not eating healthy, how leah is fat when ??? shes an athlete and clearly the healthiest of us???, how my parents who are beekeepers are abusing animals, and other shit like this so she's just, the most annoying and rage-inducing person to be around.

now im just complaining about her but she also made pe class unbearable for me. i told her multiple times that volleyball was hard for me to play bcs all my joints are fucked up. she???? said that im making it up and continued to coerce the teacher into making us play volleyball..... 🚶🚶

i could complain about her for DAYS holy shit. MAN.

[selfcareparker]

hi bae <3 reading that last ask i’m realizing i have no grammar? lmao

glad university is funnnn, when you said linguistics i was like 🤨 but then i googled it and it does sound interesting lmao

the too much free time part though... :( its like you expected to be thrown in and like WOO BUSY and WOO purpose (purpose may be going too far lol) but i totally get what you’re saying. ESPECIALLY when you expect to be busier and you’re not it’s like :/ ok. (& girlllll it’s fine to complain, it’s how ur feeling)

and bc of covid you have eVEN LESS STUFF TO DO, which sucks. the social part may help? even just a little bit, but maybe having some socialization.. it could be somewhat uplifting? idk gsjshsj

where i live the vaccine is for 16 and up right now but for the younger kids (12-15) it hasn’t been ✨FDA approved✨ yet so my brother is still waiting for his 🤠

okay really quick, how does drivers license work there? here you learn to drive at 16 and you can like actually drive (sometimes even alone in the car) by 17... (also burneks?)

YAYYYY GIRLLL i remember you telling me about how you haven’t seen your family in England in such a long time 🥺🥺🥺 i really hope you get to see them soon!!!! and that covid eases up so you can see them frequently again 🥺🥺🤍

i’m gonna tattoo that to my forehead “not being friends with your parents is unhealthy” EXACTLY!! the people saying that stuff are usually not close to their parents so 👀

i’ve been really busy (unfortunately imo lol) with my dance recital coming up and this singing group (which i don’t like at all) and my final tests bc of school i’m EEK but it’s a good eek i think? maybe? idk lolll, i can’t wait for everything to be over though so i can CHILL. after school however i have a missions trip in north carolina? don’t quote me on that, but yeah 🥰 i’m really excited about it bc i’ll be without my family (like on my own :)) and it’s this whole thing and i’ll get to know people and i’m gonna buy a new bathing suit that makes me look gooooood cuz i’m tryna cop a boyfriend while i’m there HAHAHAH but besides that... more acting and singing camps probably? most likely a summer job.. i don’t have any plans reallyyy set in stone but ya know (ACTUAL i do have a few things planned. but those are things i don’t want to do. so i will be ignoring them <3)

that was a long ass paragraph- but PLEASE UR RESPONSE WAS FINEEE & i love you 💓💓💖💞💘💓💞💕 literally watch me buy a ticket to germany rn

- lovely anon (or catherine? i feel that lovely anon is iconic now tho so. kinda like how i call you aria in my head not your real name lol ALSO I PROMISE IM GONNA RESPOND TO THAT REALLY SOON, it’s just really busy rn) <3

what’s wrong with tumblr i just saw this a minute ago 🥲🥲🥲🥲 they don’t want to see us together ✋🏼 but fuck them 💘

Whaksk wait wdym by you have no grammar? 😭😭hejsjs

Honestly I’m so surprised that I’m enjoying linguistics but i think since i speak english and german i’ve just always been interested in language and esp english since it’s just my second language so i was forced to learn more about the language than just words and grammar, because it’s such a big part of me and also i didn’t always have a british accent so i kind of had to... develop a british accent, and it was natural but also kind of wasn’t??? Anyway why was this one sentence like 17 lines i’m sorry

YES OMG EXACTLY and obviously i’m missing out on the whole uni experience i mean I’m introverted anyway but i don’t mind going to a party every now and then? but i haven’t talked to a single person from my uni (except in class when we had to analyse a poem or something— okay technically some of my friends go to the same uni as me but they’re all studying other stuff)

But yeah I’ll definitely try to meet my friends more often 🥺 but we all have really different schedules rn so it’s really hard to find days where we both/all are free and not too tired and yeahssjsksj but i mean.... i can pay 50% of your ticket to germany? and then we can hang out? 🥰

I think everyone over 18 can get their vaccine from Monday on so I’ll try to call (okay, my mum will call sisjsh) and see if i can get an appointment. but i think everything will be super full because previously only people over... 50?or 60? or people with like illnesses could get it and now everyone over 18 can get it??? Like that’s a lot of people who can suddenly get the vaccine sksjjs but at the same time they’re getting quicker with it (i think today over 1 million people got the vaccine???? Like i know the US probably gets wayyy more people done so idk if that sounds like nothing to you but obviously Germany is much smaller so to me that sounds like a lot???) and also one of my father’s friend’s wife (djdkdj) works at a hospital or something? And she said she’ll ask if I can get it done there so yeah 🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼

Isksmsjjs it took me so long to figure out what burneks was, i googled it (very weird results?) and then i realised i made a typo.... yeah no idea what i was trying to say lol

So in Germany (as far as I’m aware) you can start at 17 and you can’t have your test before you’re 17 years and 6 months old (idk why) and then you’re not allowed to drive alone until you’re 18 and then you still have two years on probation(is that what it’s called?) and you’re not allowed to drink a single sip of alcohol before you’re 21 (and drive) (cause in germany you’re allowed to drink when you’re 14 (if your parents are with you and allow it), then when you’re 16 you can buy beer and wine, and when you’re 18 you can buy everything. But you’re not allowed to drink and drive (even if it’s just 0.01 promille) until you’re 21)

(Okay I just googled and I don’t think you say pro mille/per mille in english sksjsjs but like the percent (or something...) of alcohol you have in your blood (idk biology sorry) (not that you asked about drinking and driving anyway? 😭 but there you go lmaoo)

Also idk if that’s just a UK thing or you also have it in the US? But all of my relatives from England keep asking me how often I’m driving with my parents (for practice)... and in Germany that’s.... not allowed? Like in england you can get these L (Learner) plates that you can stick on the back of your car and then you can drive anytime with your parents, but in germany you can only drive with your driving instructor during a paid for and legally organised driving lesson so. Kksskaj

Yess, the good thing now is that i can go to england anytime? Because Uni is all online anyway so it’s not like i have to wait until the holidays to see my family, i really hope i’ll see them soon🥺 it was my nana’s bday today and my grandad’s a few weeks ago so i’m painting two pictures for them tomorrow and sending them as a (late) gift next week 😌 (i’ll do like an impressionist ✨field of flowers✨ (that sounds awful sksjsjsj for reference i’ll look something like this: (it’s not mine i just found it on the internet while i was looking for some inspiration

for my nana, and something with a waterfall for my grandad) (looking at it now i don’t even think that’s impressionism? Idfk i had art as my subject for my a levels (like one of my final exams) and i actually got an A 👀 but it was mainly architecture and i don’t even remember that so

Ahhh I hope it’s a good eek!! Sksjj hopefully you’ll be done with everything soon and i already know you’re gonna do really good in all of your tests😌 but still: good luck ❤️❤️❤️

Idk if it’s actually cool? But North Carolina sounds so cool to me (but honestly you could have said any state and i’d think it’s cool sksksskm) And girl I still think it’s so amazing that you just sing and dance and act and omg ✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

(I’m imagining us in a montage (?) like they always have in films while we’re shopping to get you a hot bathing suit😌😌 and then they always come home with like 6 shopping bags in the movies—)

This is gonna sound so dumb because who tf wants to work? But I’ve always wanted a summer job 🥲 like nothing too exhausting obviously but i’ve never earned any money by myself? I haven’t had a single job in my life (not that I’m that old and like only one of my friends has worked in her life like we’re young sksjsj) and yeah i think it would be really cool to have a summer job and earn some money 😌 but during the summer holidays (they’re only 6 weeks in germany) we’d always go to england for at least two weeks and then we’d drive to bosnia to see my dad’s family for a few days and then to croatia and then to Bosnia again sksksksms so i never had time for a summer job (obviously i’m aware that it’s a fucking privilege that i’ve never had to work and that i get to go to multiple countries during the holidays but yeah)

WHY DO I TALK SO MUCH AUSSKKSSM

Like I said I’ll pay 50% of your ticket 😌 i’ll be here stuck at home anyway, just let me know when you’re coming so i can come pick you up😌 (this emoji djskksks— but i mean it fits so i’ll use it as often as i can 😌)

Lovely anon IS iconic 😌✨ but Catherine is more than okay too🥰 so just say whatever you prefer ❤️

(And omg you never have to apologise for responding to my long ass, full-of-mistakes responses late sksjs take your time (i mean i wouldn’t be mad if you just didn’t respond to some of them i talk too much anyway <3333)

[hobiwonder]

Teen Idle | (m)

Pairing: Hoseok x Reader

Genre: Smut. PWP

Warnings: Unprotected sex, creampie, blowjob, dry humping, exhibitionism, dirty talk, degrading language, mentions of religion in a negative light. Mentions of infidelity. 

Summary:  “Wish I’d been a teen, teen idle Wish I’d been a prom queen, fighting for the title Instead of being sixteen and burning up a bible Feeling super, super (super!) suicidal The wasted years, the wasted youth The pretty lies, the ugly truth And the day has come where I have died Only to find I’ve come alive” - Teen Idle by Marina

OR: You’d been a good girl and for what? Hedonistic adventures of a church girl turned.... well, bad. 

Words: 6k+

A/n: Bad like this absolutely last minute smut lmao eejhbduefhebfuejdn i wrote this in two days and this was NOT on my list of WIPs until like a day ago so I apologise if this isn’t your cup of tea. But tysfm to @yminie for the AMAZING mood board I forever will be amazed by her talents. Not beta read bc it’s my baby’s bday and i dont wanna be sending over work for her to read over!! pls let me know if you enjoyed. I loved writing hoseok ravage me in my mind :’))).

It was hard to understand what exactly was your place in the world. Ever since you’d been a  young girl, growing up in a conservative house with a preacher for a father and a very strict mother to match – you had known nothing but disciple, purity and how to make conscientious choices knowing that god is watching at all times. Even to think of an anomalous thought earned you a solitary confinement in your room with the holy book itself to make your wrongs in to rights. Your parents couldn’t have the preacher’s daughter being just like those insolent teenagers that you went to school with – could they?

The whole of your youth had been spent singing in choirs, volunteering at church on every Sunday and making sure each moment of your life was free from sin and impurity. You never wanted to be like the drugged, easy harlots that went to your impure school. You were better than that. You were better than them. That’s what you’d been told your whole life. To be better than everyone else in the eyes. It did not matter to you that you didn’t have a social circle surrounding you like the rest of your peers that you witnessed on a daily basis – making out freely and shamelessly on the hood of their cars after school or even before school.

“You’re better than these heathens, y/n. Remember that. The lord will reward you for your resistance.” These words have been spoken to you so many times you’d lost count. Your father was a strict man and every punishment, every lesson came down to this; being better than those ‘heathens.’ It wasn’t to say that you regretted servicing the church as a teenager, spending your nights sorting out bulletins instead of crashing college parties like the girls in your class giggled about in the hallways. Charitable work was regarding high in the eyes of the lord. And this life was temporary. You had the whole of heaven to look towards after passing from this world and the hedonistic people that inhabited it.

You wanted to be nice and virginal because in the eyes of the lord, in the holy book, that was more desirable than being an easy slut. Society still valued the innocence, perceived dependency, and sexual inexperience of a female virgin, while shunning women when they “corrupt” themselves by giving themselves away and you’d been a fool when you’d given it all away to one man that you’d thought was the one for you. But what did you get in return? A cheating bastard who’d been sleeping with his secretary – quarter his age.

“Y-Y/n!” your whole body had been on auto pilot and your feet had taken you straight towards your car while Sehun had ran after you – shirt unbuttoned and haphazardly tucked in to his slacks after the scandalous scene you had walked in to at his office.

“Y/n, wait! I can explain!” you’d been told all your life that rage was a sin too. Never to let the anger consume your brain enough to make it cloudy with bad decisions and yet, you hadn’t cared then when you’d turned out – heaving with so much anger you weren’t sure if it was possible to explode from just one emotion.

“Explain what?! What is there to explain?” Your tone is louder than the gentle croon it always was, speaking gracefully and politely like good girls from noble, pious families did. It the surprise on Sehun’s face at your outburst is almost as surprising as finding out that your fiancé had been sleeping with another woman for god knew how long!

But that’s right isn’t it? God knew everything and he had known about this too. So why did he think you deserved this? Did you not deserve to be happy? With a fiancé, a good job, a ‘good’ family? Where did you go wrong?

You’d given up your body for this man thinking he’d done the same. He’d given you himself in return and you had felt whole – at least then. So why did you feel so conned now? Why did you feel the regret creep up now at giving up your purity, your virginity to a man you had given everything to and gotten absolutely nothing from?

“I can’t believe you’re talking to me like that.” The look of utter surprise with an undertone of disgust had you wanting to hurl your bag to his face – wiping away the contorted expression as if he’d met the most vile person on earth. He was in in place to be chastising you after being caught fucking his secretary and yet he had the nerve to do it anyway?

“Fuck you, Sehun.” That’s the last thing you’d uttered to his face, surprising even yourself at your boldness before you’d dashed out of the lot to where you sat now. The bar that was closest to your work building while you’d been driving by. Your emotional state was somewhere between a mess because of your time wasted with Sehun and feeling bitter as you questioned your whole life. What did you have to show for all those years spent following the rules, being a good religious girl only to break one of the most scared rules for a man that didn’t give a crap about you?

You felt dirty and disgusting and craved the glory that you felt within you – like you were better than the people surrounded by you – pure and almost godly. It fed the narcissist in you that your parents had made you out to be. Always telling you that you were better than everyone else out there because of who you were and how you lived your life. Sure your co-workers thought you a but stuck up. But of course – they weren’t the ones with a modest job, a fiancé, a perfect home at such a young age. They were just bitter that your life was flawless and you had it all while staying pure and remembering god while the heathens out there could never have both.

At least that’s what you’d thought. How did you even fool yourself in to believing that you could have it both ways? Have pre-marital sex while trying to live a life that ensured you your place in heaven. Why did it all seem like a waste of time? You’d been a fool and lived a lie. Thinking that being a good Christian girl instead of living a life like the typical teenager did would ensure that you avoided heartache such as this. But it happened anyway. So why? Why had you been so good? Why did you waste your youth burning up a bible while your peers were out there making these mistakes already; probably learning how to avoid men exactly like Sehun than being a fool almost nearing 30 and never having had intimate relationships – at least not like the one you had with Sehun. You’d given him your virginity for goodness sake.

“What would you like ma’am?” The bartender looked at you – slightly unsurely as you stared up at his face just as confused, having never been at a bar like this alone. In fact, you could count on one hand the times you had visited a bar and it had been with Sehun to attend work functions that you both usually left early to pray together before you went to bed at 10pm promptly. God, you were a fucking disaster. And maybe this was a mid-life crisis because even you weren’t sure you’d make it to 60 years old let alone live a normal life in to your elderly years.

“She’ll have a vodka tonic.” The deep, sultry voice was unmistakably of someone you had known very well at work. Well, known was a bit of an over statement.

The bartender nodded, getting to mixing your drink straight away while all the golden skinned, glowing sharp features and a lithe body and a perfect coy smile that was Hoseok, took a seat beside you on the bar stool. His hair was parted and the tie he’d been sporting at work today was loosened around his neck but the blazer still stayed. He looked like a sin you wanted to commit and you couldn’t believe that your mind was so loose tonight that it had even allowed you to think lustful thoughts rather than filtering them out of your system like you’d trained it to.

“Mr. J-Jung.”

“We’re not at the office anymore Y/n. Please call me Hoseok.” He smiled at you so brightly that if you weren’t so at war with yourself internally; you may have even returned it. Usually you avoided much contact with the opposite sex as you already had a fiancé and looking at strange men was not looked upon favourably in the eyes of god. Especially men that induced such lustful thoughts in your mind… But did that even matter anymore? Why had you done all of that when it in the end you’d been fucked over by life anyway? Were you just another pathetic woman; like the ones you despised and told yourself that you were nothing like them?

“Never thought I’d see you at a bar, let alone, by yourself. What’s happening? Lover boy skip a date to go to church?” He chuckles at his own joke and you can’t bring yourself to fight with him. Because at the moment you were questioning every aspect of your life, every opportunity missed and every mistake not made.

Fuck Sehun. Fuck him. Fuck religion. Fuck the people who fooled you in to thinking that you were special. Because if you were then why did this happen? You were no better than any other woman out there even when you kept yourself the cleanest you could. You denied yourself the pleasures that everyone indulged in – thinking and even feeling to some extent like the godly being you were told to strive to be.

“No. He diched me to fuck his secretary at his office.” Your casual response has Hoseok’s eyes going wide, spluttering for a moment before he’s shaking his head as if trying to wrap his head around what you’d told him.

“First of all, never thought I’ll hear you swear,” He shoots you a smirk before a more sombre look takes place on his face, “Damn. Holy shit. I’m sorry to hear that y/n. How could he do that to… toyou.”

Maybe you’d be offended if the context and the circumstances were different. But they weren’t. And it was true. You had thought yourself to be better than everyone else you worked with and thought that you deserved it all. It was your reward for following the rules that god made man to follow. But of course, where did that get you? A lost virginity that made you feel like a whore with even actually being one, not knowing what was true and what wasn’t and the regret. The fucking regret that in your late 20s you had wasted your youth and never gained the ability to deal with a heartbreak such as this. Suddenly, you craved it all. You wanted to go back in time, fuck every guy on the basketball team, fall in love with all of them just for them to break your heart the next week. Drink yourself to oblivion to numb the pain of said heart break or eat your feelings. Do everything that would prepare you for today so could handle these feelings like an actual strong woman and not one whose confidence lay solely on god. Who waved around a false sense of superiority because she didn’t drink? Didn’t smoke? Had only slept with the man she was going to marry?

You’d wasted all those years like a fucking fool. And of course, Hoseok, who teased you the most about being the way you were – stuck up – to witness your downfall.

“Well, he did.” You’re nonchalantly taking a sip of a drink you’ve never had before but thankfully you’re not spitting it back out like a rookie as the alcohol burns its way down your throat and settles in your system. Already making your body temperature rise and you weren’t even through with all of the glass.

“What a shitbag.” Normally you would reprimand anyone who sore in front of you but today; you just shrugged. Still deep in thought, letting the regret take you over as you downed another glass, the pleasant haze of feeling tipsy tearing down your walls of defence and your inhibitions.

“Well, as much as I dislike you for being a killjoy at work and having your nose in the air every time someone even walks by you; I apologise on the behalf of male species. Never thought any bad would be happening to you.” He’s snorting to himself as he drinks his own glass of whiskey, gesturing the bartender to fill your glasses once more. And while he does; you look at him. Reallylook at him. You no longer want to deny that Jung Hoseok was a devastatingly charming man. He was a favourite around the office and you’d never seen him without some sort of smile on his handsome, sharp face. When you’d first started work at his department; he’d tried to flirt with you on day one but you’d quickly shut him down, holding on to your cross necklace as you told him you didn’t court men that easily. But as you watched his easy stance, the way his thighs spread out naturally to accommodate him and the dishevelled look of his hair from running his hands through it; you wanted him.

You wanted him to make you forget. You wanted to live out each and every fantasy you had and make up for the lost years you spent holed up as a teenager. And who best to do it with the most handsome and effervescent man you knew? Sure, you’d only given him dirty looks each time you caught him in the break room making out with a different co-worker every other week. But you were a hypocrite. Because in this moment, you wanted nothing more than to be one of those girls. You wanted him to fuck you on every surface of every building. You wanted to be an actual whore than pretend like you were treated any better than one. Discarded to the side so easily by Sehun.

“You okay, y/n?” He’s looking at you now and you know that he’s caught the spark in your eyes, no doubt being able to tell that you weren’t the y/n he worked with on the daily basis. You realise; that version of you had died the moment you’d caught Sehun in the act. This was the new you and she wanted to make up for lost time and suddenly, you felt jittery and moist between your legs as you glanced at Hoseok’s fingers circling the mouth of the glass.

“I will be. If you can help me.” Your voice is soft but determined as you stare him square in the eyes. Sometime during the night, he’d somehow moved closer to you, face now inches away from yours as his own shamelessly took in your pencil skirt and your collared blouse. To proper and put together for his liking. And now, to your own as well.

“You really mean that?” His voice is deliciously husky and it sends a chill down your spine but you nod your answer anyway. Not breaking eye contact with his glossy ones.

“I need you to say it sweetheart.” And you will. Because tonight you wanted nothing more than to feel the feelings you had avoided your whole life – thinking that somehow you’ll remain a better person than everyone you knew.

“W-Will you… will you fuck me Hoseok? Show me what good girls can’t have? Make me regret ever not wanting to let you have me on that day?” Even to your ears, your voice sounds foreign. Never being so openly blunt and shameless. But you knew that Hoseok doesn’t care because he’s cursing under his breath, muttering a ‘fuck’ as he rakes his gaze over your body once more. Then, he’s pushing back his glass while he holds on to your wrist – dragging you out of the bar with him.

“W-Where are we going?”

“To fuck.” Your face is going red and the blood in your veins is bubbling from excitement. You were being careless and reckless and yet; you’d never felt so alive before. This really was your new life. And you could do everything you hadn’t in your past one. Hoseok has your hand firmly in his own as he’s pushing you in to a darkened alley next to the bar. The night air is slightly cool and people are still walking by once in a while to access the bar. In an instance, you’re pushed up against the brick wall, the rough edges digging in to your back harshly as Hoseok blankets your body with his own, towering over you. You’re breathing hard and watching his each move while he only places both of his arms on either sides f your head.

“Do you really want this y/n? Because this is your last chance before I have you the way I’ve always wanted.” And somehow, your breathing is getting faster as you stare at him expectantly.

“I am. U-Use me Hoseok. It’s what I want.” I want to feel like a dollar whore. I want your cum dripping out of me. I want to have your cock in my mouth until the day I die.

It was as if your previous self had been so deprived to the point that the new life you suddenly have made you a nymphomaniac as the default setting. Wanting nothing more than to do anything and everything to fill that deep ache you felt inside your soul and now your pussy. Hell, your previous self wouldn’t have even said any of these words even in your thoughts.

And Hoseok needs no more reassurance as he’s pushing up your skirt in a haste – in a public place, mind you, where anyone could walk by and see two figures huddled up against the wall – and then pulling down your modest white cotton panties that were now soaked.

“Fuck, you’re this wet already? I always knew you were so prim and proper to hide the inner slut in you. Weren’t you baby?” And all you do is nod slowly, watching him hitch up your legs as he settles them on his waist to steady you. All the while his eyes grow increasingly frantic, watching you tremble beneath him. In a way – he was also getting to taste the unforbidden fruit and you were more than willing now. Ready to rid yourself of your virtue that you’d held on to so tightly – at least in spirit.

“Answer me, y/n. Did you always want me? Hm? You always wanted my cock?” His voice is gravely and it sends shivers down your spine that’s perched up against the brick wall.

Something about letting a practical stranger like Jung Hoseok take you in such a public setting was so sensual and erotic to you that you were a mess between your legs, sticky arousal smearing the insides of your thighs as Hoseok looked down between you both. But to your surprise – he doesn’t open his belt buckle as you’d assumed he would. Instead – he’s pushing his hips in to yours, mashing his hardened length against your naked pussy and the breath is taken straight out of your lungs.

“H-Hoseok.”

“Yeah baby?” His hips have started to roll a steady rhythm against your soaked core and you know that he’s making a mess of his own slacks every single time he’s rubbing his cock against your sticky core. And affectively helping you get ever so close to that peak you’d been familiar with but never quite so intensely. Sure, you’d thought Sehun was good in bed but in comparison to whom? Hoseok wasn’t even inside you and you were a mess already. The pleasure so intense and concentrated that the noises that were leaving your lips were almost uncontrollable. As if no matter how much you’ll try; they’ll escape you anyway, painting the dim lilted walls of the alley with your breathy sighs and cries of Hoseok’s name.

A man who you were not courting nor were you even remotely romantically involved with. And saying his name over and over again only made you wetter knowing that fact. It was an act of defiance against your own beliefs and you were going to yell his name in ecstasy any chance you got.

“I need you,” your moan that comes out more as a whine only makes him smirk and push his hips harder in to you, pushing your back farther up against the rough brick wall as it grazes your back almost painfully. And you love every second of it.

“Need me where, y/n?” He’s fastened his pace, resorting to now just a quick grind of his hips in between your legs to deliciously put pressure on you bundle of nerves – almost never detaching from your hips at all.

“Ah! I-In me. Oh god. I-I’m-”

“Already? Such a hungry cock slut.” Hoseok tuts, eyes never leaving your face that’s contorted in a look of almost pain because of being so dangerously close to the edge. Your hands are clawing his back and his face is buried in the crevice of your neck, picking away at the threads that held your sanity close until each string was giving away to the carnal lust that flowed all throughout your body. You weren’t wanting to fight any sensation that you felt. But somehow, your mind still tried to fight off the impending orgasm despite knowing that’s exactly what you wanted. You wanted a release. You to let go. But Hoseok isn’t exactly making it easy for you. Because the next thing you know – he’s pushed you down on your knees until you were level with his hips and looked up hazily in to his own hungry eyes.

“You don’t get to cum so easily my dear y/n. Not after all these years I had to put up with your self-righteous attitude only to have your slutty mouth ask for my cock. You need to earn it.” He’s almost spitting out the words while he unbuckles his pants, the sound of his belt buckle opening and the sight of his veiny arms sending another trickle of arousal out of your pussy – panties still around your ankles and skirt still pushed up high.

Slowly, he’s fisting out his throbbing cock that has you gasping when you take in the length and its girth as well. He was bigger and wider than Sehun but a good few centimetres and the thought of his cock stretching you out terrified and excited you all at once. Giving it a few shallow pumps as he smears the pearly white liquid around his length – he eyes you expectantly, gesturing with his chin to come forward.

“Get to work babe. If you want this cock inside you – you better show me how much you want it.” Your eyes most look like a deer caught in the headlights because after a few seconds, Hoseok is cursing under his breath before he’s fisting your hair – only to tilt your face up harshly.

“Open your mouth wide, y/n.” And as if in a trance, you do. With one quick thrust – Hoseok is hitting the back of your throat, making you gag around his slightly salty cock.

“Fuck. Your mouth is a sin in itself babe. And you know I’m the biggest sinner.” He’s spitting out every word between clenched teeth as he thrusts his cock in your mouth again and again. Your jaw already starting to ache as it opened almost painfully wide to accommodate his length while he continued his assault on your mouth.

You’re trying to keep your breathing even and breath through your nose so you don’t faint. The moans that escape you are again – unstoppable. You’d never given Sehun head because he’d deemed it ‘disgusting’ and ungodly behaviour. And yet – you’d found him with his cock buried deep in his assistant’s throat. The act itself with Hoseok’s handsome face peering down at you – lips between his teeth and hands guiding your movements – you can’t remember the last time or anytime in fact, you’d felt this sensual. This erotic and sultry and just plainly like a whore.Giving this beautiful man head in a dark alley with your skirt bunched up to your waist and ass exposed to anyone who could be passing by.

And what do you know – you can hear steps approaching the alley and on instinct, you try to pull away. But it’s hard when Hoseok’s nimble fingers are gripping your hair so tightly to the point where it stings. And with every passing second, you can hear the steps getting closer.

Your voices of protest are muffled while Hoseok only chuckles above you. “You think I care if someone sees you with my cock down your throat? You need to know,” He’s moaning out before he continues, “that your place is on your knees – before me. Like the cock slut you always have been hiding under your granny panties and high collared shirts.”

You can only muffle out a moan around his assaulting member as he continues to fuck your mouth  while lewd, sloppy sounds fill the alley.

“F-Fuck. I’m going to c-cum babe.” His pace has increased and he’s frantically pushing his length deeper and deeper in your mouth while you try to suck on the tip of his engorged head as much as you can. And just when he’s about to cum – a voice all too familiar interrupts you both.

“Y/N? Is… Is that you?” You can hear Sehun approach the two figures he can probably only see vaguely. Your eyes shoot towards his direction and you know exactly the moment he’d recognized your voice and your form that’s sitting on the alley floor.

“Y/N!” Sehun has rushed forwards, grabbing your shoulders in a haste as he pushes Hoseok off of you. You’re sitting there with saliva dripping from your swollen mouth, eyes glazed over while Hoseok is only chuckling as he slips his hardened length back in his pants.

“How dare you do that to her?!” He’s roaring at Hoseok who looks like he doesn’t give two fucks about Sehun catching you with your mouth around his cock. He clearly had the wrong idea. Thinking you’d been forced. Just when you’d collected enough breath and reason in your mind – you push Sehun away forcefully while you walked towards Hoseok who was leaning against the opposite wall.

“Y/N…”

“What Sehun? What do you want?” You’re looking behind you as you walk towards Hoseok – completely throttled and thrashed with your skirt up to your waist – panties around your thighs.

“What in the god’s name are you doing?!” And you can only giggle as you start fishing Hoseok’s cock out of his trousers again – right in front of Sehun.

“Letting this man fuck my brains out.” You don’t need to look behind you to know that Sehun is probably looking at you shell-shocked. Never being able to imagine you this uninhibited and callous with your words. But you get a sneak at his face anyway when Hoseok is flipping you over so that your back rested against the brick wall again whilst he hitched up your legs to his waist again. And the thought that he didn’t care that Sehun was watching before rubbing the fattened head of his cock against your pussy all the while Sehun watched – only made your pussy gush.

You don’t remember the last time you felt this excited, this sexy when you’d been with a man. Not even Sehun who you’d considered to be the love of your life. But now you were finding out that you didn’t know any better and had no other man to compare him to. Of course you thought he was the one because your father approved of him.

“You’re going to go to hell for this y/n. For acting like a disgusting-”

“Slut? I know. I don’t give a shit Sehun. Now go away so I can get fucked in peace. Or don’t, I don’t care-ah!” Just then, Hoseok has pushed his girthy, painfully hard length inside you and Sehun is seething; disappearing from the dark alley just as you’re putting  a hand to your mouth to quieten your cries as Hoseok’s length stretches out your pussy. And he’s looking straight down between you two, watching the way the labia of your pussy stretches around his length.

“Fuck, your cunt is hotter than the 7thcircle of hell my dear y/n.” He’s cursing under his breath, taking in a deep one just as he’s sheathed completely inside you, letting you take a breath as you try to get used to the largest intrusion you’d felt inside you.

“M-Move Hoseok.” You wanted him to wreck you. You wanted him to take his pleasure from you and use you so much so it made up for all the years of being a fool made you miss out on sleeping with every and any guy you wanted to.

“Can’t believe you preached to us all at every general meeting when your cunt is hotter than hell. You’ve always been the hidden devil among us all haven’t you? Hm?”

He’s throwing your hand away from your mouth when you just muffle out your answer behind them with each thrust of his cock inside your channel. You’re so wet that a squelching sound accompanies every thrust inside and it’s making you pink all over.

“Answer me y/n. You’re a cock whore who’s always been hungry for it haven’t you? Yeah?” With each word, his pace had increased the sounds of skin slapping against skin were so loud that they even brought you back down to earth and feel a hint of shame. But the pleasure coursing through you was enough for you to cry Hoseok’s name over and over like a prayer you wanted to have desperately answered.

“Y-Yes. I love c-cock. I want your cock to t-tear me up. U-Use me Hoseok-” you hiccup as tears well up in your eyes, feeling the bulbous head of his hard member nudge your cervix again and again. The natural curve of his dick hitting each nerve ending inside you that you didn’t even know existed.

“Oh baby.” He’s clenching out between his teeth, “I,” A deep thrust, “will.” Another one that has you almost howling every single time he bottoms out.

You don’t know how he’s holding back after being on edge for so long but you can feel him get even more impossibly harder. Almost as hard as stone inside your velvety walls.  

“Fuck you’re so wet Y/N. Did Sehun ever make you this wet? Hm?” You’re pushed up against the wall with each punishing thrust that has a string of continuous moans falling from your lips.

“N-No. You f-fuck me so well h-hoseok.” It’s hard to speak but you love it nonetheless. Saying all the erogenous words out loud only made your pussy gush and clench around him harder.

“You gunna cum baby? You’re gunna cum for me?” You’re vigorously nodding your head while the tears escape past your eyes and on to your already sweaty and teary face while you sniffle away.

“Too fucking bad.” And just like that – he’s pulling out of you and pulling away so abruptly that you fall to the dirty floor in a heap. Pussy leaking with his and your combined fluids while he quickly tucks back his erection that almost look menacing now. You didn’t know why he insisted on torturing you both but you didn’t question it. Loving every second of your hedonistic and spontaneous sexual encounter.

“Come on.” He’s tugging you up on your wobbly feet and dragging you out of the alley. And when you try to pull down your skirt to cover your ass – he swats your hands away.

“No covering up. I want everyone to see what a whore you actually are. You want this to don’t you?” It takes you a few seconds to look at Hoseok’s smirking face and slowly; you nod. Letting him tug you out towards the parking lot – knowing that any passer-by – albeit it being almost 10pm – would be able to see your skirt pushed up with only your panties barely covering your modesty.

And just like that – Hoseok drags you over to his car; a shinny range rover. Pulling open the driver’s seat, he’s sitting inside and pushing back his seat slightly and then within seconds, pulling you on his lap to straddle his spread legs. Both of you are panting and both of you are staring straight at each other; consumed completely by lust as Hoseok gives your wrecked state a once over. He’s reaching out only to rip open the front of your blouse that had been buttoned up high – only to pull down the cups of your bra as your heaving breasts spring free.

“Fuck,” He mutters under his breath, groping the soft flesh between his large vascular hands, “Your tits are amazing. I want to suck on them all day.”

When you moan out in response, he continues, “You’d like that wouldn’t you? Maybe I can drop by to your office for a midday snack, huh? Suck these tits till they’re all puffy and swollen.”

“H-Hoseok. Please.” You’re desperate to reach your peak and now are shamelessly grinding against his hips to get some sort of friction. Hoseok’s bent forward with a nipple in his mouth, licking and sucking in the whole of you areola.

“Oh f-fuck. I’ll c-cum like this Hoseok.” And you were going to. You were so, so close you were about to lose your mind. Thankfully, Hoseok is opening his belt and letting you fish out his hard cock again and within seconds – you’ve taken initiative and impaled yourself on his hardened length.

“Fuck, you’re so hot baby. Just like that.” His hands have now found purchase on your waist as you start riding him like only your pleasure mattered. With the continuous teasing and the exhibitionist that Hoseok has awoke in you – your pussy was plenty wet and even overly so. Making deliciously dirty squelching sounds every time you slid over his pole again and again. Your rhythm increasing as your high built up again – and quite fast thanks to all the edging for hours.

“Yeah, fuck yourself on my cock y/n. Just like the dirty little cock whore you are. Aren’t you?”

“Y-Yeah. L-Love y-your cock.” You’re slurring your words as the car bounces from the sheer force of your pace as you ride Hoseok towards the sun. You could die a happy girl on his cock and when you look at his face that’s watching you like you’re the holiest thing he’d ever seen; you’re crying out your release while he thankfully gets the hint and holds up your hips, thrusting his cock inside you from below to push you over the edge completely.

“Fuck! Hoseok I-I’m-” Your teary face is looking at his own in panic while his hips frenetically push inside your gushing pussy.

“Cum on my cock baby. Let all your cunt juices go. I want to drown in your cum, fuck!” He’s growling and seething out the words as if he’s angry. Livid in fact and it only stretches out your orgasm further – as well as the hand that’s slipped between you both and now strummed your clit to almost a second peak while he chased his own high.

“Fuck fuck fuck I’m going to cum in your dirty pussy y/n. Can I? Fuck I’m n-not going to last. Please baby.”

Your teary face is weakly nodding while your head rests against his shoulder, body bouncing with every thrust inside your sopping and oversensitive walls. The hand on your clit that was incessantly rubbing was so close to make you cum again. And when Hoseok starts to slam your hips down on his lap – sticky and wet sounds echoing through the walls of the confined space in his car, flesh sticking to flesh – you cum once more and with a few more deep thrusts of his cock inside you – you can feel the spurts of his own cum flooding inside your walls.

“Fuck, I-I’m leaking out of you babe.” He’s watching between your bodies as the sounds get even sloppier with his cum overflowing from your pussy and back on to his cock – making a creamy mess between you two. And in that moment, you could only rest your head against his shoulder after having cum for the second time. Your body was worn and tired but your mind was buzzing in the aftermath of your rendezvous. Hoseok looked as beautiful as ever with his golden skin shining with perspiration while he caught his breath – caressing your behind almost lovingly. Love.

That’s not what you were after right now. In fact, even just thinking about it made you want to forget about the whole concept of it all. And when Hoseok looked down at you with a raised eyebrow – you just quietly lean back against the steering wheel, letting him have a look between where you two were joined again.

“Can you f-fuck your cum back in to me?” your sultry tone and your incredibly filthy question catches his off guard for sure. But it’s not even a minute later that he’s ordering you again.

“Turn around y/n. Let’s see that ass bounce.”

And of course, your new self in your new life is more than willing to oblige. Today was the day you had thought you’d died – only to find that you’ve come alive.

a/n: yay or nay? let me know!!

[tdotsspot]

2020.....

Wow, it’s been almost TWO years since I've posted anything on here. I’ve thought about it from time to time, but never sat to actually say anything. I just looked at my last two posts....so funny. This is why I'll probably always keep this....just to look back, see where I was, who I was.

But back to 2020 bc HONESTLY this year is the one to go. down. in the mother. fucking. books. 

2019 was literally the best year of my life. It was the year I did the most traveling, the year I made the most money...it was like, perfect until the end. I went to Puerto Rico and St Thomas....Atlanta, Boston of course, MARTHA’S VINEYARD FINALLY and even though I've been there 100 times, this was the absolute best. Of course having Dameo was a plus, getting to show him my childhood summers, but Unc let me use the Mercedes which I legit fell in love with, we met Danny Glover which was crazy, I got the brass ring on my first try lol, and we had a lot of good food. LA, was amazing, I miss it so much....NY.....I feel like I’m missing a city, oh yes, dc! That was a fun drunk night.

Late November for Britt’s bday we all went out and that was the first time I was ever real life drunk around his fam, but it was so much fun. The next week....nana passed. It was sad, weird....I hadn’t lost someone in a really long time, and I was there to see some of her last lucid moments. We definitely got closer over the last two years or so since I visited her a good amount, and it made me more sad than I thought. I’m glad I got to have those moments with her, it was cool to get a grandmother again. Made me miss nanny a lot though...

A few weeks later, we found out I was pregnant! It was planned, we were excited although tbh I was kind of freaking out. A baby??? Like a whole ass human? No more weed, liquor, or runny eggs??? HOW SWAY! I don’t think I was ready yet, and a few weeks after that, RIGHT before Christmas, RIGHT before we were going to tell the family, I had a miscarriage. Goodness, I really wasn’t ready for that, at all. Obviously it’s common, but I never thought I’d have one....I was healthy, in a healthy relationship....happy....how the hell did this happen? Unfortunately we already told our moms at that time, partially to help cheer ang, and I knew my mom would be hype as well. I knew it was early, but I told some close friends as well. The pain I felt from that, I just didn't really expect. It was, really sad....I delayed our trip to Boston twice because I really just couldn’t bring myself to leave the bed and sit on a train for 6 hours. I almost canceled altogether but KNOWING NOW THAT THE FUCKING WORLD WAS GOING TO SHUT DOWN, I'm really glad we still went. It was reassuring to get my hugs from my mom, cry it out with her, and see the fam. Except Kendall was such a douche that visit *rolls eyes*. I did get to go see the friends pop up which LEGIT made my whole holiday. As such a huge fan, it was AMAZING, simply, amazing, and I got to enjoy it with my two older cousins and of course, the Dame. 

So that brings us to the new year of 2020. 2020 the year I think EVERYONE thought was going to be amazing, and maybe it will be. Maybe everything that’s going on albeit sad, overwhelming, insane....is in fact the year we all really needed. The Amazon was on fire, forever and as someone who truly cares about global warming that was super stressful. We almost had WWIII thanks to good old Trump, but boy oh boy....that was just the tip of the iceberg. A few weeks later AGAIN, I call my dr telling them I still haven’t gotten my period, my boobs hurt, and wtf is going on? She tells me to take another pregnancy test, which I thought was a joke because I JUST had a miscarriage weeks before, and yes we had sex, but we were ‘careful’. COME TO FIND OUT, my ass is pregnant again. I was, very confused...a little upset because I was planning on waiting a bit before trying for real again. I mean we just dealt with so much loss between nana and the miscarriage, I hadn’t even fully processed what my body just went through. I remember angrily buying the test because, those shits aren’t cheap.....peeing with the door open with Dame downstairs, (not at ALL romantic like the first time I told him) and looking down like....wait. “WHAT THE FUCK” about 3 times was said, I explained to dame this indeed does say I’m pregnant, but how?? 

30 minutes later, the world finds out Kobe Bryant died. There were a lot of emotions that day for sure. Even though I wasn’t a die hard Kobe fan or anything, for some reason this one really made me sad. Maybe because I was currently listening to a book his personal coach wrote; relentless....which is REALLY fucking good.

A week later, I'm confirmed via bloodwork that I am indeed pregnant and it’s time for take two! I didn't get excited until I passed my first trimester, just in case...but now at almost 26 weeks, I’m really excited to meet her. My babygirl! It’s still wild to know I’m about to be a mom, but I’m really pumped for both of us and I know we’ll make great parents. 

Ah yes, the mid march, covid 19 hits America. I was supposed to go on a three city tour to the west coast which I was very much looking forward to, before the world stopped. In fact, it was that very weekend, right after we had our ultrasound, the first and only visit Dame was allowed to come in, that everything stopped. A week or so later, a mid level of depression kicked in for me, which lasted about a month. I couldn’t believe that after WEEKS of puking and being dead ass tired, I was finally ready to work again, but I was Essentially unemployed. The west coast gig was a cute check, I had multiple events coming up that got canceled....weddings that got postponed, and all I could think about was I’m about to have a kid with no money. I went almost two entire months without making ANY money....luckily unemployment kicked in and I got a couple of grants I applied for because I really don’t know what I would’ve done. My mom of course was in my corner, and Dame would start working from home, but still fully employed so at least we wouldn’t be homeless. I knew there were hundreds of thousands of people in my boat, if not worse but I couldn’t help but be consumed with not making any money, and my 2020 year essentially being wiped out. 

Again, this was supposed to be MY year. Be a parent, make a lot of money, and I felt like I just fell flat on my face, in mud, and was suffocating. 

America’s approach to covid was trash, more and more people died...I was worried about my mom and aunts as they're older and more susceptible. This is the longest I've gone without seeing my mom, but thanks to technology! We literally FaceTime every day. 

I almost forgot! Red literally almost died. He got attacked by a pit that lives up the street and it was one of the scariest things I ever dealt with. We just came back from a cute little drive, it was absolutely beautiful out, and I just remember parking, letting him out for a walk, looking at a dog running but I couldn’t tell if it was on a leash or not. I then realized nope, this bitch is not on a leash, crossing the street, and watching it whip its head at me and red and sprinting across the street to attack him. I was absolutely terrified. My baby red, is literally getting mangled by a fucking pit by the neck. I’m also pregnant and scared the pit is going to attack me, that my stress is going to cause another miscarriage, and that I’m probably going to watch red die in front of my eyes. I completely blacked out on the woman who was sloppily running to get her dog off of him. Had it been a minute more, max, he would’ve been dead. I still picture it sometimes and it legit makes me so sad, but luckily he pulled through after about a week of healing, and a huge bloody abscess that needed to be drained. 

THEN about a month ago now, George Floyd was killed on tape by a cop and it changed the world. Between Breonna Taylor, and Ahmaud Abery dying and being cooped up for months in the house, major cities went up in flames, literally. It was a revolution that Is still happening which has caused corporate America to shove ‘black lives matter’ down our throats like black people just popped up, shown privileged ass white people who refuse to try and understand, racist fucks that just hate us so much....and the list goes on.

That’s been our year so far! and it about to get shut down again because because aren't taking covid seriously. 

Pregnancy has been really interesting though....not at all like what they show on tv and the movies. I’ve been emotional as hell crying over my body  changing....constipated af to the point where I now celebrate any time I shit, hella uncomfortable....but I know when we see her face it will indeed all be worth it. Doing this back to back though like Dame envisions....I don’t know man lol. We shall see. She's due in about 3.5 months. Check in before then....

Tdot, out. 

[ukulelecal]

The Lady In Waiting - Part Two

In which you’re the lady in waiting for the princess, and the mysterious, quiet prince has taken a certain interest in you.

Warnings: none i don’t think

Pairing: Royal!Calum Hood x Reader

A/N: happy fucking birthday to the loml calum t hood! so in honor of his bday this is a shorter boring filler chapter that has no calum action in it at all lmao sorry, its kinda important though, so do still read it! i’m trying to prolong this bc if i gave in to my urges they would literally be in love already so i could get to the action i have planned lol. again, i always appreciate feedback! it lets me know that you guys actually read and care about what i write! 

Series Masterlist

***

The princess, so Y/N had learned since becoming the lady in waiting about a month and a half prior, was a pretty easy royal to serve.

She was independent, never asked for much, and when she did, it was never anything too difficult. Mostly, it was helping her get ready in the mornings or fetching her things when she was too busy to get them herself. She asked for advice sometimes as well. Y/N actually enjoyed the job. The princess was right; the lady in waiting wasn’t like a servant. Assistant, would be a better term to describe it.

Y/N found herself getting closer to the princess over time. They always made small talk, whether it be about the weather or some upcoming event in Vavia, but eventually, the conversations started to get more personal. The princess started asking Y/N more questions about herself, and where she came from, and she eventually worked up the courage to ask questions back. She tended to dance around the topic of her family, never liking to bring up her parents, but she had no problem talking about Aunt Mary - who she had been consistently exchanging letters with, and was pleased to know that there was a designated doctor from the palace taking care of her. They could chat like they had known each other for years.

Y/N didn’t dare say it out loud, to anyone, but she felt like they were becoming friends.

The king and queen, Y/N never saw much of. They were understandably busy, and they had other people who attended them. She only ever saw them in passing, which including Y/N curtsying to them, and then they continued walking after giving a brief nod of recognition. She didn’t mind that she never spoke to them. They were intimidating, and she still felt awkward after the king’s snide comment at dinner.

Then, there was the prince.

She saw him more than she saw the king and queen, but not as much as she saw the princess. Him and his sister worked together a lot when there was business to be taken care of, so she mostly saw him then. He always offered her a small smile, but never said anything. One thing she did notice, was that he always kept his gaze on her for a little longer than necessary, looking like he was thinking. She wasn’t sure what it meant, if anything, and she wasn’t sure how he felt about her, considering what he had said to her on her first day. Was he just being friendly? Did he actually care? It made Y/N’s head hurt, thinking about it at night. She knew she wasn’t supposed to be socializing with the family when she was working, and felt she couldn’t start up the conversation. She also knew the prince was shy.

She wished he would just talk to her.

One morning, just as Y/N was on her way to have breakfast with the other staff, she heard her name being called. Looking around for the source of the voice, she found one of the guards approaching her. She had come to know him; he had asked her to call him Michael, even though nearly everyone else always called him Clifford, his last name. He had said he sometimes forgot he even had a first name.

Him and Y/N talked, when they had their meals together or when their breaks coincided with each other. He was nice, always made her laugh, and even though he was a guard at the royal palace that always kept a blank face on duty, he was a fun guy when she talked to him. He was a good friend, and kept her grounded amongst all the chaos of working for royalty.

“Hey, Michael,” she greeted, grinning. “Headed to breakfast?”

“No, Sargeant wanted me to start early today, so I ate already,” he explained. “Got an order that the princess wants to take breakfast in her room this morning. Said she asked for you to bring it to her.”

Y/N nodded in response.

“Alright, I’ll get on it. Is it in the kitchen?”

“Yep, should be done by now.” He looked around, his training preventing him from keeping his gaze in one place too long. He then turned back to her, shooting her a smile. “I should head back to my post. I’ll see you for dinner, Y/N.”

“See you then.”

The two parted ways, and Y/N changed directions to head towards the kitchen. She had only been there once before, when the princess requested dinner in her room because she wasn’t feeling well, and she hoped she could remember the way there. The palace was massive, and Y/N was still getting her bearings.

As she walked, she questioned to herself exactly why the princess wanted breakfast in her room. She always ate with her family, aside from the one time she was sick. Maybe she was sick again? She had been working very hard lately, so it would make sense that it was starting to take a toll on her.

Y/N got to the kitchen, pushing the doors open and stepping inside. It was warm in there, just like last time, and it smelled delightful.

“Good morning, Lady Y/N,” the chef, who’s name she had yet to learn, greeted.

“Good morning,” she responded politely. “I’ve come to fetch breakfast for the princess?”

He nodded, turning around and grabbing a tray, one with little legs so the princess could have it in bed, off the counter behind him. He handed it over, and Y/N’s eyebrows furrowed as she glanced down at it.

There were two plates prepared. Two sets of silverware, two of everything. Wasn’t it just for the princess?

“Two meals?” She asked curiously, looking up at the chef in confusion. He shrugged, throwing his hands up.

“Don’t ask me,” he sighed. “She requested for two to be made. Didn’t say why.”

The chef turned around again and got back to work, and Y/N slipped out of the kitchen, using her back to push open the door.

She considered the reasons as to why the princess ordered two breakfasts as she made her way to her room, carefully balancing the tray. She doubted she would be so hungry as to order two entire meals, and the only other thing she could think of was that there was someone else there with her. A lover, maybe? Of course, it was none of Y/N’s business, but she wasn’t prepared to handle the awkwardness of walking in on the princess and a stranger.

Once she got to the princess’ room, she managed to knock without dropping the tray. There was some shuffling from inside, then the door opened, revealing the princess still in her nightgown.

“Your Highness,” Y/N greeted, slowly curtsying as to not drop the food.

“Oh, enough with the formalities, Lady Y/N,” she said, stepping aside to let the lady in waiting in. “Please, just call me Mali.”

“Are you sure?” She asked, raising her eyebrows. She never considered calling her anything other than her title. She took a quick glance around the room as she stepped in, not finding anyone else.

Who was the other meal for?

“Yes,” the princess chuckled. “Mali is fine.”

“Alright...Mali,” Y/N responded, the name almost feeling strange on her lips. “You don’t have to call me Lady anymore, then. Just Y/N.”

“If you insist, Y/N,” she teased, sitting cross legged on her bed. She patted the space in front of her, smiling. “Sit. I want to have breakfast with you.”

Y/N stopped in her tracks, staring at Mali incredulously.

“With me?” She queried, voice raised an octave. Mali had never gone so far as to invite her to do something together, privately. It was probably unprofessional, for a princess and her lady in waiting to be casually eating together, but she didn’t seem to care.

“Of course,” she giggled. She patted the space again. “Please, sit.”

Slowly, Y/N balanced the tray on its legs on the bed, and sat down across from Mali. She was stiff, antsy about the situation. She assumed it was a good thing that the princess wanted to eat with her, alone, but it had to go well. Not like the dinner with the family.

“Thank you, Your H-...Mali,” Y/N corrected herself, folding her hands tightly in her lap.

The girl laughed, picking up her silverware and gesturing to the other set.

“Let’s eat,” she announced. She waited until Y/N picked up her fork and knife until she spoke again. “So, how have you been? You’ve adjusted well, yes?”

“I have. Still trying to find my way around,” she responded, both girls laughing.

“I get that. It doesn’t seem so big once you get used to it.”

Y/N took a bite of her eggs, almost humming in pleasure. The food the staff got served was very good, but it wasn’t quite made to the level that the food for the royal family was made at.

“How’s your aunt?”

Y/N shrugged, swallowing down her food before answering.

“Alright, I guess. The doctor said she’s not really getting any better, but at least she’s not getting worse.”

Mali sighed, reaching over to pat the girl on the shoulder.

“I’m sorry, Y/N. I promise our doctor is giving her the best care possible.”

“I know.”

It was silent for a moment, Y/N fearing she ruined it already by making the conversation sad, but Mali thankfully broke the awkward silence.

“Just out of curiosity...have you talked to my brother at all?”

Y/N froze for a moment. The thought of the prince was confusing, and the fact that Mali was wondering about them made it worse.

“Well, for a few moments after dinner the day I arrived, we spoke,” Y/N explained softly, omitting what the conversation was about.

“What is it about what my father said?” She asked, lowering her voice slightly. “Because he was pretty upset about that.”

Y/N nodded, movements slow. She wasn’t sure why the conversation was making her feel so odd; she only talked to him once. It wasn’t like they had anything going on.

“He, uh...he asked me to tell him if he said anything else like that to me,” Y/N stammered, subconsciously wiping her hands on her napkin.

Mali grinned slyly, tugging her bottom lip between her teeth for a moment before letting it slip back out.

“Really? My father has a tendency to say some...rude things to people, and Calum always gets mad about it, but I don’t think he’s ever been that concerned over it,” she replied, still grinning.

“So what does that mean?” Y/N questioned, her own voice lowering. Mali shrugged, taking a bite of her food and swallowing.

“Don’t know. But, I’ve noticed he stares at you a lot. And he asks me about you. He might like you a little.”

The princess’ words made her heart pound in her chest. The prince, like a girl like her? She always imagined she would only ever be with someone of her own class, as that’s what was customary in Vavia. The prince was miles above her.

“That’s impossible,” she breathed. “We hardly even know each other.”

“Get to know him, then,” Mali suggested, her words delicate.

“I can’t just strike up a conversation with him. I mean, isn’t that...improper? Wouldn’t I get in trouble?”

“You won’t get in trouble, I’ll make sure of it,” Mali said with a serious tone. “And forget what anyone might say about it being improper. You’re both people. You can talk to him.”

-

taglist (send me an ask to be added!):

@cosmixcalum @cold-coffee-clifford @depressed-teapot @sick-orca @singt0mecalum @cashtonsicetea @stylessilhouette @bbyboyycal @thepixiedreambitch @emotionalhue @xxsometimestheywinxx @bluevxnus @calssunflower @stupid-gracie @cxddlyash @singledadharrington @rotten-kandy @cthoodsthetic @youngblood199456

[robinrunsfiction]

A Little Less Sixteen Candles...

Pairing: Patrick Stump x Female Reader Rating: General Requested By: None Word Count: ~1,700 Author’s Note: So if you follow me on main, you know I’ve been a big whiny baby lately and so I decided to do my typical thing and turn it into a story

You were awakened by the sound of your phone ringing. Bleary eyed, you answered it without looking. “Hello?”

“Happy birthday dear!” You heard your mom cheer from the other end.

“Thanks,” you mutter before rolling over and looking at the clock. “Wait, Mom, it’s 5 AM, why couldn’t you have waited?” You asked sitting up further.

“It is? Honey, its 5 AM there, I thought you said it would be later?” You heard your Mom ask your Dad.

“No, I said to call her later,” you heard him reply. Your parents had retired and were traveling around the world but could never seem to grasp what time it was back home. You groaned and tried to get their attention.

“Hey, hey… guys… parents… hey!” You were practically shouting into your phone.

“Ok, well sorry to wake you, we’ll let you go back to sleep. Enjoy your day!” You mom said before hanging up. There was no way you were going back to sleep now, so apparently you were starting your birthday earlier than expected.

~

You walked into the office, sleep deprived and groggy. You could already hear a commotion and your heart skipped a beat, wondering if your coworkers remembered your birthday and had done something for you. Or maybe you had been sent flowers and they were admiring them. Then you noticed they were surrounding your coworker Gloria’s cubicle.

“Congrats sweetie!”

“Absolutely gorgeous!”

“He’s such a catch!”

Then you saw it. The ring on her finger was humongous and the sparkle was almost blinding.

“Oh, Mark proposed? Congratulations,” you said politely.

“Oh, (YN), did you just get here? You have to hear this whole story!” Another coworker said.

“Ok, ok, I’ll tell it again,” Gloria gushed. It didn’t take her too much encouragement to be the center of attention. She started in on her story about how her now husband-to-be took her out for their anniversary the night before. They went to the most expensive restaurant in town, then a horse-drawn carriage ride through the park where he later proposed.

You continued to smile politely as you listened. “Well, it sounds like the perfect night for you.”

“It really was,” Gloria gushed.

You continued on to drop off the box of donuts you brought in at the break room.

“Did you bring in treats for Gloria? That’s so nice of you!” One of the guys from the IT department asked.

“No, it’s my birthday!” you snapped back. A wave of embarrassment washed over you immediately after your outburst.

“Oh, sorry, happy birthday. I’m just gonna grab a glazed.” He said reaching past you carefully for a donut. He looked at you a little nervously as he hurried away. You went back to your desk to send out an email alerting everyone to the treats.

As the morning passed, you kept turning around expectantly as one of the administrative assistants brought bouquet after bouquet of flowers back to Gloria’s desk. A few people who walked by your desk wished you a happy birthday, but it always was a stop on the tour to see Gloria and her giant ring, the story of the engagement filling the department over and over again. You tried to turn your headphones up to block it out.

“(YN), are you coming along?” Your coworker Jenny asked.

You turned around, pulling out your headphones. “Sorry, what?”

“We’re gonna have a celebration lunch for Gloria, wanna come along?”

“Oh, umm, I have a lot to do, but you guys have fun.”

“Ok then,” she replied as she started to walk away, before turning back. “(YN), are you ok?”

“Yea, no, I’m fine.”

She nodded before walking away. You dug your phone out of your purse and saw you had a text from your closest friend Christine.

From Christine: Happy birthday boo! Hope you have an amazing day!

To Christine: Actually it sucks. No one seems to have remembered at all & my coworker got engaged so that’s all anyone cares about. Can you just like move back here so we could do something fun tonight??

From Christine: I’m sorry 😟 Wait I have an idea

To Christine: Plane ticket?

From Christine: NO, call Patrick

To Christine: Isn’t it weird to be like, “hey, we’ve gone out a couple dates now, wanna go out tonight? btw its my bday so pressure’s on, make it good!”

From Christine: I wouldn’t have set you up if I didn’t think he’d be a good guy for you. Just ask him if he wants to hang out

To Christine: Uuuuuugghhhhhh I want to but I’m just in such a shitty mood, I don’t want him to think im a whiny brat

From Christine: But you are kinda being one… Said with love of course

To Christine: K thanks for the dragging, I gotta get back to work

~

On your drive home, you finally had peace and quiet with which to think. You were jealous of Gloria. Not that she had gotten the engaged, that wasn’t something you were concerned with at the moment, and the way her fiancée did it was way over the top, which you heard described at least 2 dozen times that day, certainly wasn’t your style. You were jealous of all the attention she was getting because you thought you would at least get a small portion of it since it was your birthday. You felt sad, forgotten and unimportant.

When you got home, you opened the Facebook app on your phone. A couple birthday greetings from miscellaneous relatives, but that was it. ‘No one uses Facebook anymore’ you reasoned, trying to push back the feeling that no one cared about you on your special day. You scanned Instagram, Twitter; no shout outs, no posts dedicated to you like you sometimes saw on those platforms. You felt like you had been punched in the gut. Everyone forgot about your birthday.

“Now I know how Molly Ringwald felt,” you muttered as you laid down on the couch and turned on the TV, scrolling through the channels, looking for something to distract you. A few minutes of wallowing later, there was a knock at your door. You answered without checking first and were surprised to find Patrick standing at the other side.

“Patrick, what are you doing here?”

“I heard it was your birthday. I asked Christine if she knew if you had any plans, and she said you didn’t and you were having a bad day, so,” he held up a bouquet of bright flowers and a package of cupcakes.

“You did this for me?” you said looking at the flowers. “Christine didn’t put you up to this, did she?”

Patrick shook his head. “Nope, just told me that you’re free and having a hard day.”

You could feel the tears welling up in your eyes, so you quickly turned to the kitchen to put the flowers in a vase.

“Yea, my birthday was kinda overlooked because of someone else at work,” you sniffled. “But saying that out loud makes me feel kinda stupid,” you said putting the flowers on your table.

“Don’t feel bad, it’s understandable,” Patrick said sympathetically.

“I’m sorry, you’re being so nice and I’m being a terrible host. Do you want something to drink?”

“You’re fine,” he replied with a kind smile. “What do you have?”

“I have, umm,” you looked in your fridge and cabinets. “Water, coffee, tea, and hot chocolate.”

“I haven’t had hot chocolate in years!”

“Ok then,” you set to work heating up some water and Patrick unpacked the cupcakes onto a plate.

“Want to watch a movie, or listen to music?”

“Whatever you want,” you replied coming out to the living room with the hot chocolate where Patrick was waiting with the cupcakes.

“Come on (YN), it’s your day, you pick.”

You groaned as you sank down onto the couch. “Can I just have a hug?”

Patrick opened his arms wide and you wrapped your arms around him, resting your face against the crook of his neck. He held you close as the tears of frustration started to wet the collar of his shirt.

“Hey, it’s ok,” he murmured while rubbing your back. “I’m sorry I didn’t realize you were having a bad birthday until late. I really just want you to have a good day.”

You pulled back and wiped your eyes. “Thank you, Patrick. You being here really makes everything better. I just feel dumb for even caring this much. ”

“Don’t feel dumb. (YN), listen, I know we’ve gone out only a couple of times, but I really like you. You deserve the world,” Patrick said emphatically as he brushed away a tear from your cheek. “I was gonna ask this the next time we went out, but no time like the present. Will you be my girlfriend?” he asked with puppy dog eyes from behind his glasses.

You couldn’t help by smile. “Really? Even after I wrecked the collar of your shirt with my makeup?” You said with a soft laugh as you reaching up to touch the spots your mascara left.

“I couldn’t care less about the shirt, I care about you, (YN).”

“I care about you too,” you replied. “I’d love to be your girlfriend,” you grinned.

He reached out and gently cupped your cheek, pulling you to him in a soft kiss. The warmth and kindness spread throughout you and made everything feel right.

“Let’s get to that cocoa before it gets cold,” Patrick said when you broke the kiss. You giggled and grabbed a cupcake before thinking of something you needed to do.

To Christine: Thanks for the best present ever

From Christine: What’s that?

To Christine: A new boyfriend 💖

From Christine: WAIT WHAT?! Did he come over? I just told him he should text you bc your birthday was a major disappointment

To Christine I’ll fill you in later 😁

You tossed your phone aside as you settled in under Patrick’s arm.

“How bout a movie?” he said flipping channels.

“Is Sixteen Candles on Netflix?”

Masterlist

[sunnysidewrites]

Neighbor!Woozi

based on this post hehehe

i just fed yall TWICE. in the span of just 2 DAYS!!! AND THEY’RE BOTH MORE OR LESS THE SAME LONG ASS LENGTH!!! yeah that’s right i went overboard again gtg

happy happy bday to the lovely admin bee of @mansaeboysbe you are such a beautiful person inside and out, and im incredibly proud to know someone like you :’))) i’ve already sent a bday message to you so im not tryna redo it LOL but just know that i love you a whole lot and i always will! 💗💗💗💗💓💓 (she’s also the same person who gave me those beautiful headers on my mlist so please give her tons of love <333) love you sm hub hope you have a wonderful and fantastic day!!!

*to all the mutuals with bdays that have either passed or are coming up, i love you all SO FREAKING MUCH so pls dont feel left out!! it just so happened that i wanted to write this au for a long time and i wanted to present it as a bday gift for this jihoon stan hehe but i rlly love each every single one of u ok babes? <333*

warnings: i feel like i dragged this on for too long but i hope it’s still cute :’)) also i put in a joke like twice LOL anyways lil wooz only gets tongue-tied around you so you become his muse for songs

You were looking for a place to stay in bc “I am a grown adult i am not living with yall anymore” you @ your parents

And they’re like lol ok Good Luck Kiddo

After a month and a half of deeeeep searching you finally find a reasonably priced place to live in

It’s quite a distance from your parents’ home but it’s the point of you moving out to begin with

On the move-in day, you’re carrying your boxes up to your new apartment complex and you hear some tunes drifting from your next door neighbor

And you’re like hey this is actually really good music but i’ve never heard of it

You shrug it off and continue settling in

Once you finished hauling your boxes, you were about to pass out on your couch

Ok you actually did pass out on your couch

But you had to unpack some necessities later that night for bathroom and bedroom purposes

All you had for dinner was pop in some instant ramen and call it a night. You then hopped in the shower and got ready for bed

The following morning it was primarily you unpacking and shifting around your furniture a little but it was challenging by yourself

You were making a good amount of noise and in the middle of the day you were met with a very loud knock on your door

And you were in the middle of unpacking your kitchenware so you were like oh shoot ahh i’ll be right there!!

Little did you know your next door neighbor wasn’t having any of it

Can’t I get some peace and quiet around here? He grumbled as he impatiently waited for you to open the door

I swear, I’m gonna tell them off they won’t even knOW what will hit--

You finally opened the door, and he’s like oh. My gosh.

You had a few pieces of hair sticking to your forehead and your hair was tied back in a messy bun

You were dressed in a faded coral tee underneath a pair of worn-out denim overalls with house slippers

Everything he planned to complain about suddenly vanished and his first thought was:

“Is that Pikachu on your front pocket?”

Apparently he said that aloud, which he didn’t register until he saw you giggling

“Yeah, it was a hand-me-down! Still cute, right?”

And he’s kinda still just staring at you with his mouth slightly agape

And you’re like oh right ahem did you need anything?

That’s when he notices the utter mess behind you: plastic covering still over some of your furniture, half-emptied boxes littered in almost every inch of the floor, etc.

And that’s when it hits him: all that noise was you unpacking

“O-oh yeah, I just,, wanted to let you know that it was getting a little loud since I live right next door”

He silently curses at himself like i almost went off at my new neighbor rip that wasn’t gonna be a good first impression

Luckily for him, you were chill about it and you’re like omg sorry!!! It’s a little tough doing this by myself, sorry for the ruckus

Before he could stop himself, he blurted out, “do you need any help?”

Jihoon internally: u doofus u have an album to produce whAT ARE U DOING

Jihoon externally: i can help you :))) no matter how smol i may be

But that internal reprimanding melted away when he saw your eyes light up in relief and you’re practically bouncing up and down

“Would you, really??? It would be great if I had another hand around! Oh, but you’re probably occupied doing something, right??” and you feel bad that a stranger, your next door neighbor nonetheless, was about to abandon his work just for you

A cute neighbor, at that

Jihoon is like ok this is your chance to get away and go back to work cmon man

But there’s just something about you that pulls him in magnetically and he finds himself trying to reason internally that it’ll just be for a “few moments”

Yyyeaaahhh that doesn’t happen lmao rip Jihoon’s songs

Jihoon is just like “nah it’s fine I can help out for a bit” and you’re like god bless this human being

When you open your door further to let him in, he’s like oh right btw I’m Jihoon

“I’m y/n! Sorry about the mess, I only got here yesterday evening”

He shakes his head and quirks up his lips ever so slightly, “i remember when my place looked like this too except replace this space with music production things”

And you’re like ooOOoOoOO you make songs??? That’s amazing!!

And that’s when you got the ball rolling!!!

“A few moments” turn into hours and the next thing you know it’s dinnertime

“Oh crap sorry for keeping you for this long,,, those songs won’t produce themselves, right? I think I can take it from here”

Admittedly, jihoon didn’t wanna leave just yet bc he actually enjoyed your company and it was nice taking a break from staring at his screen frustratedly

“Well, I don’t mind helping out. I could show you my work one day if you want”

And you’re like holy cheeseballs yES

He starts getting up and brushing off his clothes and you’re a little sad that he’s leaving and he kinda is too :(

“If you’re not too busy tomorrow, you’re welcome to help me out more! I mean, you already helped me a whole lot today, but there’s still some things left to do”

As much as his brain is telling him to NOT DO IT,,,,

He does it

Next thing you know, jihoon is at your door again around the same time and he has something in his hand

As you let him inside, you ask him what it is and he’s like ;))))

“It’s a CD that compiled just a few songs I thought you might like”

And you’re #shook bc did he really just have a CD like this out in the open or did he really take his time yesterday to transfer songs on it??

“Do you have a player or a laptop?”

“Yeah, my laptop is on my bed, you can bring it out here!” You shout over your shoulder as you arrange your things in the living room

Shortly afterwards he emerges from the hallway and he presses a few buttons and clicks here and there and beautiful melodies ring out from your speakers

You can’t help but stop rustling to take in the sweet tunes and you’re just like :’))) have i heard anything so beautiful??? :’)))

One of the songs sound vaguely familiar and you realize it’s what you heard when you first arrived here

“Did you actually produce this??? This sounds like an actual song you can hear on the radio”

And he’s like yep made by yours truly!!!

He was only using “yours truly” half-metaphorically if you know what I mean ;)))

You keep bouncing to all the catchy tunes and swaying to the soulful ones

And in all honesty, seeing your reactions makes Jihoon feel really warm and even a little proud bc it’s one of the biggest reasons why he loves his job so much

He makes eye contact with you and you’re like :D and he’s like ahEM COuGh coUGh i’m gonna dust this shelf over here

He suddenly stands up and busies himself and you’re like ???? okie dokie

He’s a real help around the place and you’re practically done settling in

As you survey your fresh living space, you can’t help but feel a little…. Disheartened?

Bc it was actually really fun to have him around even while he made blunt remarks about your taste of decorations

“This looks like something my five-year-old niece would have”

“For your information, I got that from a five-year-old!! It’s cute, alright!”

You spent the past three days with Jihoon unpacking and talking about whatever comes to mind

Jihoon is pretty devastated that he has to go back to his makeshift studio in his room as much as he will never admit it

He eventually leaves your place and the both of you are just sad little puppies

From then on, every time you pass by each other, you greet him with a friendly smile and wave and you never fail to make his heart skip several beats

You don’t talk as much as how you first started bc he’s gotten much busier trying to mass-produce a lot of songs

For some strange reason, every time you hear a melody coming from the other side of the walls, you feel like you’re somehow connected with him

Well, except for the muffled cursing LMAO

And sometimes you would also hear several male voices at once and you’re guessing they’re his friends or the people he’s working with on the song, but based on their friendly banter and the constant run-throughs, it’s probably both

You would hear the same melody play over and over again, and you’re guessing he’s stuck on a certain part of a song as he tries to recreate new melodies from that point on

“aaAAGHGHHHGGHHHH” *deep sigh* me trying to overcome writer’s block LMAO

This would happen for about half an hour and you can’t help but wanting to reach out to him, but you’re not exactly the most musically-inclined person sadly

When he ultimately calms down, he goes back to working on the song until he finally gets the results he desires

More often than not, you fall asleep from hearing the slow ballads he creates with a smile on your face

Lil Jihoon does try to visit you and vice versa!! He sometimes shows up with random food and more CDs and you’re wondering just how many songs has this guy produced in his lifetime??? He looks around the same age as you but he’s probably produced 26+ songs by the way he packs a decent amount on each CD

Usually his excuse to sharing a meal with you is that “the guys brought over too much and i have a ton of leftovers that i can’t finish by myself”

In reality, he stared at a restaurant’s menu and contemplated for about twenty minutes about what you would like. This guy’s got dedication not just for work

“Would it be weird if i get fried chicken?? Maybe just a bowl of noodles?? What if soup is better??? It would give weird vibes if i bought drinks too, right?? Or should i just go ahead and buy them???”

Regardless of what he buys, you’re eager to eat anything and everything with your fav neighbor *wink wonk*

You feel bad when he would do that though, so you try to return the favor every so often as well

One time, you ordered some takeout but the servings were waaaaay bigger than advertised and you’re like Idea!! Let’s head over next door!! So you took the plastic bags and put in some drinks before heading out the door

You knocked on the door and that was when you heard light chatter on the other side of the door

You’re like sldjfljds i hope im not interrupting anything aaa mAYBE I SHOULD JUST LEAVE--

Too late, someone’s voice rang out “I’ll get it!” and next thing you know, the door swings out to reveal a face you’ve never seen before

“Oh, hi!” He says a little surprisedly but with a smile nevertheless

“H-hi, umm,,,, is Jihoon there?”

The guy is nodding his head in the direction of the back hallway, “yeah, he’s in the bathroom” and that’s when he looks down at your hands and his eyes instantly light up

“Omg did you bring food?? You’re so thoughtful!! Come in, come in!!” and before you could protest he literally drags you in and you’re met with a bunch of other strangers who are staring back at you like :oooo????

“Who’s this?? Jihoon never mentioned someone coming over today,, AND YOU CAN’T JUST DRAG SOMEONE IN THIS ISN’T YOUR HOME”

And you’re like ya i didnt know either lmao

You’re awkwardly shifting on your feet and praying jihoon will pop up instantaneously bc you’re gonna melt in embarrassment

“I just wanted to give him some of this,” you hold up your hands to gesture your food, “since it’s too much for me to finish on my own”

“Oh that’s cool! Some of the other guys are actually out to get more lunch, but food goes out fast with all of us here,” another guy says as he pats your shoulder reassuringly. “Well, since you’re already here, you can join us!”

“I-it’s ok! I hope I wasn’t interrupting anything, I just wanted to deliver this,,, I’ll get going” and you’re about to zOOM outta there but the same guy who ushered you in is like nO DONT LEAVE

“We’re taking a lunch break, so it’s cool if you join us! I’m Soonyoung” and he’s like :DDD and you’re just like ,,,, what a hyper guy but i like him

Everyone goes around to introducing themselves

you do a headcount of 8 and you remember there’s more guys getting food for them,,,, holy heck how many people do they have???? You’re about to introduce yourself after them but then

“Soonyoung, who was at the door--” a familiar voice calls out in the hallway before he emerges

And jihoon is like dsljLSJDF what the hELL

“Y/N??? What are you doing here???” *side eyes soonyoung*

And everyone’s making eyes at each other like waIT WAIT THIS IS Y/N???

“Soonyoung dragged me inside”

“Gdi soonyoung, how many times do i have to tell you that you can’t go around dragging people to join us???”

This guy who you think is named Seokmin pipes up, “yeah he does this all the time at our workplace too. A lot of our coworkers always end up extending their stay for far too long” and you’re nodding slowly like yeahhh i can see that happening

Soonyoung’s eyes are widened and he turns to jihoon like “is this the y/n that inspired your recent so--”

And jihoon is quick to cover his mouth so his voice is all muffled

“aHahaAHHAH soonyoung’s always the joker, april fools day!!! Let’s set the table, the others should be back soon”

jihoon whispering to soonyoung: you better sleep with one eye open tonight boi

And you’re like uhh alrighty :)))???

About twenty minutes after you’ve arrived, there’s another knock on the door

Soonyoung is practically bouncing on his way to the door and you can hear more unknown voices

They’re filing in and they suddenly stop and look at you like wait what

Them: :o????

You: :))),,, what up

Jeonghan briefly explains the situation to the guy who came in the door first and you’re lowkey intimidated bc he seems to be eldest and looks like he could beat you up to a pulp

BOY WERE YOU WRONG

After jeonghan tells him, he breaks out into this gigantic, cute gummy smile like welcome!! :DD i’m seungcheol! And the other guys behind him follow suit

Jeonghan’s like “this is,, y/n” and everyone tries to be subtle and nods like they didn’t hear jihoon babble on and on about you for weeks

You: ok why do yall act all weird when my name is brought up whAT DID JIHOON TELL YOU

Them: i would tell you but i don’t wanna die just yet sorry dude

Jihoon, somewhere in the kitchen: SET! THE! TABLE!

You end up staying there for a pretty long time, bonding over the whole feast you have and it’s really lively and fun, not to mention super loud with 13 guys in the same room,,, but you’re genuinely having a good time

Jihoon would glance at you nervously occasionally to check on you if you’re uncomfortable in any way

Jeonghan, who’s sitting next to him, notices jihoon’s eyes are practically glued to you and he’s like “is this the part where you confess your undying love and propose”

And jihoon is like shUT UP NO WHAT this chicken tastes great *quickly chugs down water*

You look back at jihoon sometimes and see he looks flushed but it’s not like he’s drinking alcohol

“Jihoon are you feeling ok?? Your ears are bright red” which obviously makes them redder rip

“I-i’m fine,, wow is it hot in here maybe it’s just the spiciness of the chicken let’s open the windows”

You eventually leave them as much as they protest and even try to get Jihoon to guilt trip you (unsuccessfully)

“Don’t leave just yet y/n!! You should stay, right Jihoon???”

“Huh?? O-oh yeah, I mean, you can if you want,,,,, we kinda need to work though”

Everyone’s looking at jihoon like bro wTF are u kidding me

Rip reader i can feel your heart drop :’(((

You’re feeling slightly dejected but you nod understandingly. You’ve already stayed far longer than you anticipated anyways, and work comes first for Jihoon

“Yeah, I totally get it! Good luck on the album guys!” You put on your shoes and close the door

When they finally hear your own door close, they’re attacking jihoon like

“SO Y/N IS THE ONE BEHIND ALL YOUR SAPPY LOVE SONGS HUH!!!”

“I knew it, the lyrics just suddenly got cheesier -- there had to be someone behind all of that”

And jihoon is just praying you won’t hear what they’re saying like “SHUT UP THESE WALLS ARE THIN”

Back at your apartment, it suddenly feels much emptier and lonelier

“What am i doing,,, I just met the guys for like two hours???”

You sigh and you try to busy yourself doing other things but you hear a loud commotion on the other side of the walls with just a bunch of incoherent shouting

You smile and laugh to yourself when you think about how close they all are

Your smile slowly fades when you start wishing you wanna be close to Jihoon and you’re like snAP OUT OF IT!!!

A couple of weeks pass by uneventfully but you notice that Jihoon has gotten more reserved around you

It’s just him being bashful around you and he panics every time he sees you but obviously he doesn’t want you to know that

You’re standing at your little mini balcony and admiring your cute little cactus plants

Just as you start thinking about him and his wellbeing, you hear your name and you’re like wHO’S THERE

You look down and see Jihoon staring back at you and honestly he looks like he’s awestruck by your whole beauty bc seriously everything you wear always looks super good to him

[insert photo]

(also pretend he’s holding plastic bags)

He holds up his hands and you’re laughing bc you know exactly what that means

“Come on up!”

There’s a knock on your door promptly afterwards and what do you know!!! It’s the man himself!!!

It’s just funny how the both of you have this ongoing routine that you know what to expect

When you let him in, he places the bags on your table and quickly smiles to himself when he sees your laptop on your bed

You and Jihoon both mindlessly do your respective roles as usual

He slowly comes out in the living room with your laptop and he’s like “so the album is pretty much done now,,, i can’t release all of the songs yet but there’s one i want you to listen to. I’ll show you after we eat”

You’re like ooo im excited and you start catching up with him as you’re eating

You can’t contain your excitement any longer, so as soon as you eat the last bit of your food, you’re like “oKAY SHOW ME IT NOW” as you’re restlessly shifting on your legs

He nods and pulls up the media player on your laptop. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath before pressing play

It’s a melody you’re quite acquaintanced with after hearing it countless times at night, the same tune that lulls you to sleep

You have high expectations for this song, and surely he surpasses them with flying colors

You’re enjoying the song and telling him “wow this is a really good song!” when suddenly some lyrics catch your attention

You hear something about messy hair pulled back, ruffled clothes, eating meals

And you’re like huh that sounds a lot like us haha is that supposed to be me??

Jihoon is avoiding eye contact with you and looking down at his fidgeting hands as the song progresses in its later verses

The lyrics talk about wanting to develop a deeper relationship, one where “it’s okay to tell me anything, your hardships and desires. I just want to see you smile” and you’re like wait,,,,

And one of the final lyrics says something about “i can’t help feeling like this, will you accept my hand?” and you’re like wait wait w a i t

The song comes to an end and silence fills the room

You’re not sure whether you should speak up first or wait for him, but either way you’re speechless and wouldn’t know what to say anyways

Jihoon clears his throat awkwardly and stumbles on his words poor bby

“S-so, yeah,,,, I’ve been working on this one the longest,,,, umm do you,,, like it?”

But you know better that he’s not just talking about the song

“Nah sorry man i’m not interested”

“O.”

April fools kiddos ofc you are

“....yeah. I do like it”

And he finally brings himself to look at you and he’s like !!!!! really????

“Wait, for real??? You actually like it???”

He’s pretty much paralyzed in shock and all he can do is watch your hand move towards his and hold it

“I like it a lot, Jihoon :)”

He blinks slowly and he can’t fight the grin that spreads on his face as he grips your hand back

“I’m accepting your hand now heehee ^^”

“Okay let’s not talk about that”

[croissantbae]

November 21, 2021

1. Jason took me to morihiro for my belated bday gift and it was obscenely expensive so we can’t do that ever ever again but it was also soo much fun. I don’t even think it was because the restaurant itself was that amazing. It was more because we haven’t had a date night just us 2 in like a year or maybe more? I also wasn’t doing a big law job anymore so I could just talk without checking my phone ever. We were both so happy and having so much fun. We did the sake pairing so as the night wore on we got more and more obnoxious. After a few drinks Jason was like the room is spinning. I’m actually scared to go to the bathroom. Lol. So he didn’t go until he sobered up a tiny bit to ensure he wouldn’t fall on the way to the bathroom. The restaurant is very small so pretty sure everyone in the room thought we were so annoying. We were cackling and just telling jokes that we thot were sooo funny but probably weren’t actually funny. Our sever was also a super sweet Japanese lady. I really liked her. I kind of wish I could go back and eat the sushi again to taste the quality sober. But man for all the fun we had we paid for it in dollars and health. The next day I was so hungover. I completely forgot that thst happens and I had to go get my eyebrows done. Wow that was so painful driving there and sitting waiting. But also must have been painful fr Jason watching the girls while I was gone.

Anyway it was so fun and I want us to do a big date night once a year hahah. A year sounds like a long time but it goes by so fast. Also I’m realizing we did have another solo date on my actual bday. We went to eat sushi in silver lake. That was fun too but that was lunch. I think a dinner date is very special. We keep talking about how much fun we had too lol. I think doing it once a year will really make it something for us to look forward to as well. I guess that’s the point of celebrating wedding anniversaries but we’ve actually never done that. We should def celebrate next year. We will be 5 years married!

2. This stage of parenting is getting so wonderful.I see hints of the girls playing together well. Here they are splashing water in the sink today, laughing. We’re also getting full nights of sleep so we don’t feel like zombies during the day. It’s awesome.

3. With that said, Dani needs to chill out. We were all talking today about how we can see that she’s gonna be opinionated and stubborn. And might be more of a troublemaker than naya. When we eat she must have something to eat AT ALL TIMES. She’ll bang on things or yell or slap the person next to her to get the thing she wants. She wanted to keep playing w my phone and threw a little mini tantrum looking for it when I tried to hide it. She was tired out of her mind today too. She barely slept. She’s getting more sensitive to sound and waking up more.

4. We got our family photo samples baxk and I am seriously delighted by how well they came out. I was expecting it to come out really bad because it was over 80 degrees that day and we got so sweaty. Jason was constantly telling me to wipe the sweat on my nose. Dani was NOT happy and feeling super fussy. Naya threw a fit at one point bc we took her snacks away. Jason always blinks in photos so I was sure 90% of the photos would be wasted. But the photographer sent us our proofs and I was amazed! She is seriously a pro. We all look great! I was kind of surprised by the one my mom loved the most. It’s this one and she wants us to print out a big copy of it.

4. we hung out at Christian’s place in placentiA this weekend and Juliet was sooo sweeet to naya. She 챙겨d after her so well and protected her from Nathan (her little brother) hahah. She also eats all her vegetables and was encouraging naya to do the same. Nathan on the other hand was not a fan of naya and tried to take away everything from her. At one point naya was in the ball pit and Nathan wanted to go in too so he told me to help him in. So I did. But then naya crawled out and Nathan gestured for me to get him and Juliet was like no. Leave him in. He has to stay in. And I was like oh hmmm uhh not sure what to do. And Juliet was like fine he can come out but we have to clear the toys so he doesn’t throw any of them. So while she was clearing the toys their mom, Annie, comes and she was like oh yeah we do this to Nathan all the time. It’s his jail. Lol. I felt so bad for Nathan. He is definitely a little terrorist but he gets cast off and scolded so much. At one point Nathan hit naya w a toy but I think it was on accident snd it didn’t seem that hard. But naya cried soooooooo sadly. She was seriously crying as if something so horrible and scary Happened. And it made me wonder if she cries like that every day at school (since she tells me Oliver pushes her and stuff). Back to placentia, Christian and Annie’s place is so big and has such a nice backyard (nice bdxsue it’s big). And they have a pomegranate tre, a persimmon tree, a pomelo tree and a jujube tree. That’s my dream. Plus an avocado tree, blueberry bush and dragon fruit tree and fig tree and papaya tree.

[coolpolarbear123]

Band Camp Day 2

it's 1:38am on the 17th, I just got back from the bar, and it's time to type

August 16th (I'm turning 21 today!)

<< 2 >>

Stayed up until 2 am last night:

The good thing about Monday is that we don't start at 8:30am yet. The dorm people move in today, so us off-campus people get to vibe.

Or in my case, get my birthday starbucks

among other birthday beverages

aka there's another coffee shop that also does free birthday drinks

librarians had to be in at 10am doing music, so that's when my day personally started (band camp wise, anyway)

I should mention that this is the official first day of band camp

music went fine. We checked every folder individually for mistakes and stuff. There was a little upset with who didn't go on my birthday coffee run and who did, which I understand, but it's such a small thing in the grand scheme of things

I do feel bad, though

check in started at 12:30 and went until 1:30, so we managed to get there around 1:15. However, the drumline instructor decided that that was the time to tell us he needed the entire score, which is the Worst time to tell us

and it's my band director's fault, to put it simply. Not even his

but we had to check in, so that became an issue for later

we checked in, which was simple and easy, and I got to see the piccs I haven't seen in forever, they managed to find our one freshman, which was super cool bc that was my first official time meeting her

I also got to see all of my other-section friends, which was awesome

then the Meeting began

before the meeting, all of band council and staff had to wait outside the room so we could run in like we're special or somethin

we are. Our shirts didn't come in on time, but we have bright yellow bandanas to wear all week so that people know who to ask for help

the whole "wearing it all week" thing was revealed to us WHILE our band director was saying it to the entire band

oh, and to set the scene, we're all standing behind him, facing the band

it's just all the normal introductory stuff. That was the most I've ever faked being happy bc I have to

he introduced us. Mispronounced my name. I thought it was really funny and so did the entire band, so at least we're all in on it

he explained how we get free meals until Wednesday, but then he talked about how the meal cards charge by meal? So then he was like "don't go to the dining hall for a minor meal, just eat in your dorm" which like

cool, now there's gonna be a starving freshman who was guilt tripped into eating a poptart in their dorm

like wtf. Charge the school as much as you want, kids, you're paying to be here.

halfway through, the drumline section leader left, and that's when ML2 realized we needed copies of that score now so it was really awkward watching her dart across the stage and do all that and get keys and stuff

she goes on a bit of a power trip so she prolly had a blast being center of attention in an indirect way

Once the meeting was over, we started auditions. I don't have to do that bc I'm a drill instructor, so theoretically I should have been doing librarian stuff, right?

right?

no, wrong, ML2 was doing it, even though she needed to audition. And now, we learned that the entire drumline doesn't have music at all, so we need to get them music

like that would have been nice to know

she did eventually audition, and speaking of auditions, my section leader from freshman year was the person helping our new section leader out, and it was so fun seeing her again

that's my mom

she goes "you're all so grown up" and then half an hour later "you guys are exactly the same"

ofc that was after we discussed doing some chicken slapping 7-mile spanking style for section bonding on thursday

so, this is sorta when ML2 comes back, done with doing librarian stuff, and just,,, leads us back to the building where we're doing full band rehearsal

this sounds fine, but she did it in a "duh, follow me" kinda way where she didn't slow down and was Fully Leading the section as if we didn't have a section leader who was supposed to be doing that

and no one was ready to move. None of us had all our things together

and we had a lot of time before we had to get there, so why the rush

she wanted to be in charge, that's why

now we're in the building where we're gonna have full band rehearsal, and we have time to kill, so we make our group chats, get to know our one first year, and just have normal convo

now fast forward to that rehearsal, where we're really gonna test how well we did our librarian jobs. All 130 folders we prepared, 20 songs each, handed out.

honestly? not too bad. We needed to make an extra cymbals folder and an extra tenor folder, and that was it.

well, we also had to recopy a clarinet 1 part, which was weird, bc I said that, and then ML2 talked to that clarinet, and she came back and said "she needs clarinet 1"

yeah

i said that

it was a little more complicated than that but that's the gist

oh! and this is also when we learned chair placements. I didn't audition (co-DI rights), and I asked for 2nd, which my section leader said "yeah who else would get it"

so i went from 5th my freshman year, 3rd two years in a row, to second!

[it's 2am, i'm continuing this tomorrow when I get home from day 3]

[hi hello it's 11:38 pm on day 3, let's continue, shall we? I have a lot to type tonight]

so anyway, ML2 and I do librarian things and miss most of that band rehearsal. I got back just in time to play Al, which is practically our second fight song

after that we had dinner, where our band director?? decided to sit with us??? for some godforsaken reason???

we don't like him, he doesn't care for piccs, it was really weird

we didn't?? tone down our personality for him, either, which is,,,, bad

we are a v inappropriate section, and we all love it, but maybe not in front of him

he also goes?? "hey where do I get pasta? should I ask for it [DI]-style? with extra meat"

SIR WHAT THE FUCK

we've been,,, losing our minds about that one

After dinner, we were back down at the field to learn more fundamentals

honestly I don't think anything terribly crazy happened? I've now had to stand in front of the band to demonstrate things?? with the other DI's, which is sorta wild

the band sang happy birthday to me!! which technically I asked for bc I wanted the attention but!!! it was really nice!!!!! and then the seniors got together to plan our first prank

and we did the singing and stuff where we had two years of people not quite know what was going on (thanks, covid)

ML2 is,,, very judgy about me being DI and it's been getting worse as we go on, but more on that tomorrow. We had some Facial Expressions today

we didn't do the after-band activity bc we were tired and planning on going to the bar for ML2's 21st bday

my dm do be texting me about how salty ML2 is tho. It's making me very anxious

sorry this is a day late! I got 4 hours of sleep last night

[taeg00kie]

85 question tag!

rules : answer these 85 questions about yourself + tag some (20) people

tagged by @indixfolk (ilysm)

tagging idk I don’t have friends hahahah

last

1. drink - tea (heheheh)

2. phone -  A8 2018

3. text message -  from my bf <3

4. song you listened to - get you by daniel caesar

5. time you cried -  this morning hahah

ever

6. dated someone - yup

7. kissed someone + regretted it - HELL YE

8. been cheated on - nonon

9. lost someone special - yeah;;

10. been depressed - haha all the time

11. gotten drunk + threw up - just gotten drunk

fav colours

12. black (some ppl say its not a color but aa)

13. white (also ∆)

14. any pastel color!!

in the last year have you…

15. made new friends - i.. yes..?

16. fallen out of love - yeAH HAHAHAHAH

17. laughed until you cried - nope

18. found someone was talking about you - hell to the fuckin ye

19. met someone who changed you - yesssss!!!

20. found out who your friends are -  yea and my only friend is Laura i love her so much :c

21. kissed someone on your fb friends list - i? guess? so? yes..?

general

22. how many of your fb friends do you know irl - all of em

23. do you have any pets - i have 4 pets!! a little poodle n 3 cats!

24. do you want to change your name - nope but i wish it were different

25. what did you do for your last bday -  i just went to school

26. what time did you wake up today - 8am bishes and its a SUNDAY

27. what were you doing at midnight last night - crying  i was on my phone

28. what is something you can’t wait for - the day i graduate

29. what are you listening to rn - the wind coming throught the window hah

30. have you talked to a person called tom - nope

31. something that gets on my nerves - slow walkers UGH

32. most visited website - i think youtube

33. hair color - im blonde

34. hair long or short - mine? long;;

35. do you have a crush on someone atm - my bf??

36. what do you like about yourself - my.. piercings hjsjdsd

37. want any piercings - more?? FUCK YES

38. blood type - O+

39. nicknames - manu, ma

40. relationship status - in a relationship hahah

41. zodiac - gemini

42. pronouns - she/her

43. fav tv shows - skins,, friends..

44. tattoos - i want many of them

45. right or left hand - right heheh

46. ever had surgery done - yes and im abt to get more haha fuck

47. piercings - i have 7

48. sports - volleyball but i can swim as well its nice

49. vacation - at home crying

50. trainers - what

more general

51. eating - good food

52. drinking - tea

53. i’m about to watch - a physics video

54. waiting for - bath time

55. want - to cry

56. get married - not in a church??

57. career - psychiatrist

which is better?

58. hugs or kisses - depends, but i like hugs more

59. lips or eyes - eyes fo sure

60. shorter or taller - taller (not too much tho bc i once hooked up w this guy and he was sO TALL my neck was sore the day after)

61. older or younger - older/same age

62. nice arms or stomach - whatever

63. hookup or relationship - im,, dating u kno

64. hesitant or troublemaker - no

have you ever…

65. kissed a stranger - nope thank god

66. drank hard liquor - ye JDHFBSJHBFJAH

67. lost glasses - yes and i also broke them

68. turned someone down - idk?

69. sex on the first date - hahah

70. broken someone’s heart - yup

71. had your heart broken - not.. really

72. been arrested - no

73. cried when someone died - every time

74. fallen for a friend - yep

do you believe in…

75. yourself - not rlly hahah

76. miracles - no

77. love at first sight - no(?)

78. santa claus - i wish :(

79. kissing someone on the first date - yes!!

80. angels - nope;;;;

other

81. best friends name - Laura i love u sm

82. eye color - green/silver/blue

83. fav movie - idk aaaaaaa

84. fav actor - i dont have any fav actors

85. fav thing to do when bored - cry/look at the ceiling bc im too lazy to do anything ever

[jinwoostro-archive]

rules: once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 92 truths about you.  at the end choose 25 people to be tagged

Tagged by: @jakganim​ and @astrofireworks​ (bc they love me sm 😜)

Tagging: uhhhhh 25 friends???? asjk mmkay @moonbeams-and-sanshine @blingkwan @93sehyoon @kim-sehyooned @cha-eunwoow @sxhyoon @softsocky (dont have to do this if u dont wanna btw)

last:

drink: teA (bc when do i never drink tea?)

phone call: my sister, wondering when tf she was gonna come home from school

text message: “Great! i hate it!” skjd my friend who decided to send a video of a sewer rat

song you listened to: Yonas - photo (which ya girl finally managed to learn lmao)

time you cried: ........when am i not? but yesterday? idk?

have you ever:

dated someone twice: nope

been cheated on: nada

kissed someone and regretted it: i have virgin lips

lost someone special: yes

been depressed: yes

been drunk and thrown up: nah

in the past year have you:

made a new friend: idk if i’d call these losers my friends 🙄 (jkjk ily all)

fallen out of love: give me some love to fall into first

laughed until you cried: heck yeah

met someone who changed you: definitely

found out who your true friends are: um i dont rlly know? ive discovered some friends which i dropped lmao and im still confused tbh

found out someone was talking about you: god bless screenshots :’)

general:

how many people on tumblr do you know in real life?: tbh i’ve met @artist-aroha once... (bich we should meet up again tf but after ya exams okie?) and 2 other ppl here but they’ve deactivated rip,,,,, (patiently waits for me to go to uni so i can meet several ppl) :))))

do you have any pets?: :(((( noooooo

do you want to change your name?: idk, the reason why i dislike it is bc i hate certain people saying my name so i associate it when them but at the same time... it’s me?

what time did you wake up this morning: fUCK 2:24pm apparently

what were you doing last night: i honestly dont remember, everything was a haze 

name something you cannot wait for: UNI UNI UNI FINALLY FUCKIN LEAVING THIS PLACE WOO

have you ever talked to a person named tom?: i had a friend who had a bro called tom but no one else

what’s getting on your nerves right now: :)))))))) daya

blood type: i..idk?

nickname: lala, lan, lanlanna, na, trash panda (jk i gave that one to myself)

relationship status: #SingleLyfe

zodiac sign: Sagittarius

pronouns: she/her

favorite show: meerliin??? idk? that’s the only show that i still rewatch and the characters still affect me lmao

college: currently out of education but im goin back to it

hair color: brown :’) (watch when i go lilac tho)

do you have a crush on someone: @ eunwoo and sehyoon..... hi

what do you like about yourself: i guess i can be caring lmao

firsts:

first surgery: on my chin bc i used my cousins buggy as a slide and put it against the cupboard and i hit my chin on the corner of it and i still remember my uncle holding me in the car on the way to the hospital even tho i was 6 (bih i still have the scar lmao) also is this why im known as having a clumsy ass????

first piercing: akjsn my mum got my ears pierced when i was 1 but i got upper lobes done on my 17th bday woop

first sport you joined: athletics team

first vacation: okAY we went to kurdistan when i was 4 and all i remember is 3 things. throwing up in the car, my dad getting his passport fixed there and my aunt force feeding me yoghurt  

first pair of sneakers: AT THAT AGE MY MUM BOUGHT ME EVERYTHING IDK

right now:

eating: havent eaten today

drinking: ^^^

i’m about to: listen to these new songs my friend recced

listening to: Russ - Yung God (a good ass song)

want kids: .....not now biCH im 19 (but like,,, in the future if my mind hasn’t changed then i’d like to adopt)

get married: i dont see myself getting married sooooo

career: this whole thing is a bunch of IDK bc i really don’t, on the one hand...a stable career but on the other hand i’d love to be part of the storyboard team on a movie franchise so....

which is better:

lips or eyes: sucker for both

hugs or kisses: huGS ND CUDDLES

shorter or taller: bearing in mind how short i am,,,im gonna go with taller

older or younger: older

romantic or spontaneous: hmm more romantic?

sensitive or loud: both

hookup or relationship: relationship bc i get attached easily nd im too anxious for hookups lmao

troublemaker or hesitant: akdkjas im drawn to troublemakers bc i love excitement BUT at the same time, i prefer hesitant?? idk how to describe it

have you ever:

kissed a stranger: virgin lips

drank hard liquor: didnt wanna tbh but i did

lost contacts/glasses: no contacts or glasses to lose

sex on first date: :))))))) bitch please

broken someone’s heart: god i hope not

been arrested: it’s an experience i wanna try :))

turned someone down: yes

fallen for a friend: yes

do you believe:

in yourself: whomst is that?

miracles: philosophy messed with my mind so im in between here

love at first sight: love can develop from physical attraction at first sight

[freckledhaze]

questions tag!!

I was tagged by @charmingpasta awww yay thanks bby :)) <3

LAST:

Drink: water!! i drink water constantly but somehow i’m always dehydrated lmao

Phone Call: my husband! (lol ya i’m 19 and married and no i’m not pregnant) 

Text Message: “markiplier looks like Farquad” from no other than cameron omg

Song You Listened To: “ain’t no rest for the wicked” by cage the elephant

HAVE YOU EVER:

Dated Someone Twice: ya but it was in like sixth grade so does that even really count?

Cheated On Someone: heck no

Been Cheated On: i hope not

Kissed Someone & Regretted It: yep!!! ew ew ew ew

Lost Someone Special: not in death but like a drifting away friendship i guess

Been Depressed: :) currently :)

Been Drunk & Thrown Up: ya but only once!! it was my first college party and i took way too many wine pulls ooopppss

IN THE PAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

Made a New Friend: yeah!!!!!!

Fallen out of love: nope not this year

Laughed Until You Cried: absolutely 

Met Someone Who Changed You: not this year

Found Out Who Your True Friends Are: no i’m still friends with people- i haven’t had a falling out this year or anything

Found Out Someone Was Talking About You: hmmm no not this year at least

Kissed Any of My Followers: ya :-) my husband and my best friend i kiss him everyday 

GENERAL:

How Many of Your Followers Do You Know irl: a couple!! 10 maybe??

Do You Wanna Change Your Name: nope nope nope

What Time Did You Wake Up Today: 6:30am lol rip

What Were You Doing at 12 Last Night: sleeping like a little baby

Something You Can’t Wait For: THIS SEMESTER TO END 

Last Time You Saw Your Mom: last night

Something You Wish You Could Change About Your Life: i wish i wasn’t tired all of the freaking time and wasn’t mentally ill and i wish i could eat like a normal person 

What Are You Listening to rn: people talk because class is about to start

Whats Getting on Your Nerves Right Now: i am sleepy and i don’t want to be in lecture

In a Relationship: ya i’m married 

Zodiac Sign: gemini

Pronouns: she/her 

Favorite TV Shows: mind hunter, grey’s anatomy, survivor, big brother, it’s always sunny in philadelphia

Hair color: blondish light brownish redish... idk it’s interesting for sure and it changes colors depending on if i’ve washed it/been out in the sun

Short hair or Long: medium but i’m letting it grow long!!

Height: 5′4

Do You Have A Crush on Someone: the husband

What Do You Like About Yourself: uhhh i’m really nice and empathetic 

Tattoos: none currently but i wan’t the NEDA sign on my ribcage!! 

FIRSTS:

Surgery: wisdom teeth removal (if that counts) and if it doesn’t count then i got my tonsils out last summer

Piercings: my ears! i got them pierced on my 18th bday and then my friend did my double piercings in our dorm room :’) 

Best Friend: my hubby!! plus kristina, katie, cameron

First Vacation: hmmm. i honestly don’t know. ohio?? indiana?? somewhere close to home bc i was super young

First Pair of sneakers: no idea lol this is a weird question

RIGHT NOW:

Eating: nothing but i had a doughnut for bfast this morning!!!

Drinking: water water water

Listening To: my professor talk because she just got here

Wanting Kids: heck yeah but not until i’m done with grad school

Get Married: already did lmao i was 18

Career: i don’t have a job but i’m going to school 

WHICH IS BETTER:

Lips or Eyes: eyes

Romantic or spontaneous: somewhere in the middle

Nose, Stomach, or Nice Arms: arms

Sensitive or Loud: i’m so frickin sensitive lmao

Relationship or Hookup: relationship

Troublemaker or Hesitant: a hesitant troublemaker like me (clay said this answer and i agree a million percent)

HAVE YOU EVER:

Kissed a Stranger: nope

Drank Hard Liquor: yes

Lost Glasses or Contacts: i don’t have any

Broken Someones Heart: yeah :/ oops sorry dude

Been Arrested: no!!!

Turned Someone Down: yes

Cried When Someone Died: tbh nobody in my life has died i’m so so blessed

Fallen For a Friend: ehh well my relationships usually started out as friendships

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

Yourself: sometimes

Miracles: no

Love at first sight: eh not really at that point it’s about looks and not character 

Santa: no not since i was like five years old

Kiss on the First Date: nah

Life after love: i don’t like this question. life is love and love is life 

I’m tagging @flying-never-fallen @binaryc @bloomingeveryday @lacroix-amelie @coffeeandrhetoric if ya want to do it!!! 

[alyjojo]

Today is the story of how my pregnancies came to be, without the fun stuff. It plays a very large role in why I believe in God tbh.

So my ex. It’s a relevant start. Him and I were together four years, never used protection, dumb as that is. I bring that up at because, for much of that time, I just didn’t have periods. Like at all.

After about a year of waiting and taking pregnancy tests wondering what the hell, I went to the doctor (I hate doctors...back then fear won, a lot) and she gave me pills to force me to have one.

I would have one sporadically after, so I didn’t feel like a mutant, and I’d be like well okay...and didn’t go back to the doctor. But it was every few months.

PCOS seems to run in my family, my cousin has used years of fertility treatments to have children, and though it’s worked it’s been a hell of a struggle for her. I was always kind of afraid I couldn’t have kids.

July 2007, I felt a way that was different, didn’t have a period as usual, took a pregnancy test. This was a regular thing with the lack of periods. Positive. ....what?? Told him, and he lost his fn mind. I can’t describe just how stupid he acted, and I was lost. How I knew later he was a cheating pos. We went to Planned Parenthood to take their test. Negative. Idiot danced to his car, and something in me knew he was an idiot but I just let it go.

We broke up a few days later, he did, of course.

The day after we broke up, midst all my emotions yanno how that goes, I started on my own for the first time in...I couldn’t remember. And it stayed that way, regular, every month, ever since.

Mom said “it’s the guy”, who by that point she was kind of disgusted with too lol. Well. Yeah. It was? Seems so. Angry and blaming and rawr at God like I was and they were like nope sorry...not that one, and I just showed you that 🙏

He continuously plays a role in this story. Idk if he was A soulmate of some sort. I’m definitely one of his life lessons. It’s always been...deeper, even if we don’t even get along. At all.

Ok so hubby. Years later. Ex was long gone, didn’t talk didn’t nada, I lived with my boyfriend 😜 and his parents for a year, working on my car and saving money for a place. Which I did, we moved in August and September 18 (my late gmas bday), I hadn’t had a period and took a test like oh this crap again. Honestly didn’t think I could have kids...never had a scare in the year I’d already been with hubby.

Pregnant. Whaaat? So my EX sends me an email the next fn day. How? I have no idea. I had told hubby...that’s it. I don’t even remember what the email said, how are you or something idk, I avoided it like the plague before being like omg just answer and writing something quickly, send, delete. Never read it again. I’d gotten him out of my brain space tyvm bye. Well in my response was something like lol I’m pregnant. He was the 2nd person to know. And considering he flipped out and left over a baby...karma.

In my later belief system, and seeing my oldest’s chart, she has much Libra/Scorpio influencing her (10th, Saturn/Moon). I felt like initially that positive may have been her, just long enough to get him tf out. The timing of his message blew my mind. Didn’t speak again for like 10 years, baby daughter got the name I had always wanted, and gmas middle to honor her. I still see 9:18 periodically. Love u Gma ❤️

So next baby. After two years in our first apartment, we were bombarded with BEES 🐝 Like this was insane level of bees, you couldn’t leave the house without these threatening mfers chasing you to the car, management was shit, we moved.

Moved into a bigger nicer apartment in a nicer part of town. August again. Had a fun night with some drinks to celebrate the night we moved in...no protection, big fun, hubby joked drunk, there’s #2.

So September 11th...I bought it 😆 But I refused to do it on that day. September 12th...hello baby girl #2.

Years and years pass, we use condoms regularly. Very careful always. Idk how my son came to be and I’ll say it till I die. I went back to work, I had lost a bunch of weight lol, I was not in baby mode at all. I was 100% done. So much that for two months I didn’t even realize. Until my jeans stopped fitting and I was like WTF. Sure enough. Hello baby boy.

I had been playing the sure let’s be friends game 🙄 with some of my ex’s after hubby’s stupid bs. Nothing more trust & believe, hell no. And it just doesn’t work as friends either so idk why we ever tried. Will never get along. The other ones were just drama...was my Saturn return, that was a nightmare. Then we entered his, and that was also a nightmare. That’s as much as I’ll say about that 💯

The last thing I said to that same ex, 10 years later...I’m pregnant 😆 It’s a kind of karma somehow. Goodbye again, the same way it’ll always be. Like God was like I’m sorry, you need a reminder?

My children ❤️

I always blamed my husband for doing it on purpose. Because he was so happy when I was. He’ll always deny it, but the boy came out DADDY’S boy and I just let him take over because...well he wanted to. And for the first time, the baby wanted, demanded, him too. It was actually insanely sweet, still is.

I went to the doctor and said I guess I’m due in February? She’s like try Christmas. I literally threw away the whole doctor and got a new one because I thought she was lying to me 😆

So on Christmas DAY, 6pm, I’m making meatloaf bc I knew a baby would be coming soon and we didn’t want a fridge full of leftovers...water breaks. 7cm dialated by 7pm, they gave me meds to slow down while hubby dropped off the kids at gmas. Little Aries moon was OUT in four hours 🤣 My biggest baby.

Jane...we were again very careful. Condom flew off inside of me completely. Like flew. Idk how tf that happens and it was very uncomfortable to fix btw. We knew, and when it was positive, we knew. We were not in a good place at that time. It was bad.

She was due on my cousins bday, and down to the very signs they would’ve been similar, and my cousin has lost babies...kind of how we had our falling out. She was mad at me for having my boy, but she was petty and rude to me for months, it broke my heart, then her mom my aunt tells me how she and my mother just talk shit about us both, when I trusted her the most, I just...bye. Gtfo ur one of them. Cried.

Well Jane. I lost Jane. I’ll always be sad about it. Cap with Gemini moon (supposed to) ended up being a little lost Leo. Same middle name as my cousin.

It’s here I’ll mention our foster kids. Hubby’s niece by blood, nephew by marriage. They were hard, that situation was hard, the boy is on the spectrum (which I now know means dick all really, he’s incredibly normal despite his horrific early circumstances) and he alone needs a lot of care. And their parents broke up and his dads side wanted them...he’s not ours, how could we claim him first? Our niece fits like a glove, she is ours. His sisters. We felt it was taking away from our kids after awhile, having two more suddenly, with DFS and court and visits and phone calls. We were getting screamed at by the parents for trying to be good people...then my car broke down with this timing chain nightmare, his was totaled (fk u forever)...then came the positive with boy, and we gave the kids to their Dad’s mom. Who is a very nice lady, with money, sister in law be pissed or not. We all felt we just couldn’t do it.

The boy was a Christmas Eve boy. Hilarious and so smart and adorable and sweet, just a lot of work. Our niece, a Leo, born way too early (late Oct due date). Small, tiny, but healthy.

My son is Christmas Day. Hilarious and SO smart and adorable and so sweet...a lot of work. Can not look away for two seconds. Also breaks things. Also punches his sisters. Even looks kinda like our nephew. Its eerie.

I tell my husband we didn’t keep the kids...we had the kids 😞 Because I ended up losing my little Leo, born way too early 😢

These kids are why I believe everything, they’re why I have faith, they’re how I notice the funny little things others wave off as oh it’s coincidence. No, it’s not.

Whether there’s another in the future idk. With Covid it’s not something I want right now. I did have my heart set on 4, once Jane came into the picture.

Maybe someday. Maybe not. Besides #2, which hubby joked about, and she’s a silly sarcastic goose just like her Daddy 😆, it seems God has more say on that then I ever have. With everything.

Take charge types scold me like “you have the power”, and I’m like oh yeah watch this. Try to work or try to do anything, car tires burst or something, some emergency, hubby has some insane project he needs me with them for, a baby appears, or foster kids, something always happens to keep me home. They all need me here. Just how it works in my life.

Someday...who knows? For now, this year, I’m a homeschool teacher ❤️ We’re happy 😊

[curtishoney]

LOCKED FEELINGS PART I // BARRY ALLEN

Request: Hi! Could I have a Barry Allen x reader where it starts out as them being friends in hs? Reader likes Barry but keeps it to herself bc Barry always ditches her for Iris and pines over her. She acts like it’s ok until it’s her bday and he doesn’t show up for their plans bc he forgot and was with Iris. She gets tired of it and moves away after yelling at Barry and confessing her feelings (he doesn’t have a chance to respond) Years pass and she comes back and they run into each other! Happy ending?

Pairings: Barry Allen x Iris West (crush); Barry Allen x Reader (best friends/crush; soon to be dating); Iris West x Reader (best friends)

A/N: hi there nonnie! thanks for the request! I had written so much that I had decided to split them into 2 parts! :)

Part II masterlist inbox

Being friends with Barry Allen was hard when you liked him, he was intelligent, funny, cute, and so much more. He could even sing! A talent only you knew. He was everything you wanted in a guy and more. But he had his eyes set on someone else, Iris West, your guys’ best friend.

She was beautiful, kind hearted, and the only friend you could ever ask for. You were jealous of his affection towards her, but kept it in, waiting to burst out. You were “okay”, but on the inside you felt broken. You three would always have a party. Movies, ice cream, cake, but that all just changed.

It was always, Sorry! Iris had asked to hangout. Iris this, Iris that. Blah. Blah. Blah. Iris, Iris, Iris. You loved her, but you had enough of her for once. You were sick and tired of all of the mistreatment you were getting.

You were alone on your birthday, twice. He’d always say, “It’ll never happen again, I promise.” But it did. You started to sit at lunch alone again. No friends, no company. You were getting stares, and laughs from fellow students.

Your other friends would sit with their own groups, no room to sit, other than a small table with no one. The “geeks and nerds” had their clique, the “bombshells”, the “jocks”, the “goths”, everyone. Barry and Iris would sit at their own table, with friends (mostly Iris’ and their boyfriends). He hadn’t really fit in with them, but Iris was there, and that’s all that matters. You had gone to the restroom, “stomach ache”.

You dumped your tray and went to the restroom. Waiting until lunch passed. Classes had passed and you had to walk home, no car, Mom and Dad busy at work, and you hated the bus. You walked home and just laid there, contemplating life. How miserable you were, everything.

It was your birthday, your “special day”. You, Barry, and Iris would have an amazing party for you. Cake, ice cream, movies, the whole package. But neither of them showed up… No calls, no happy birthday texts, nothing… You just cried silently in your room for hours on end. You had truly felt betrayed. 

Your parents had a business trip, so they also missed it. You were truly broken. The next morning, you didn’t want to go. You just wanted to cry all day. So you skipped, it would be good for your emotional health and wellbeing.

Barry was worried, you had never missed school, not even for the flu. He had forgotten about your birthday because he had already made plans to hangout with Iris. He had run to your house after school had finished. It was raining, and felt so gloomy. He had made a grave mistake… 

He knocked on the door, no answer. He knocked again, until finally the door slowly creaked open. You looked miserable, eyes bloodshot red, your once glowing skin had turn red, still wet from crying. You looked like you had been crying for hours. What had he done?

“[Y/N],” he said, softly with a worried tone and look. “Are you okay?”

“What do you think?” you said unemotionally.

“I’m sorry, [Y/N]. I’m so sorry.” he said, tears slowly dripping down his face.

“My two best friends, my two only friends, didn’t show up to my birthday. No texts, phone calls, nothing. How do you think I feel?” you ask, tears streaming down your face.

“I’m so sorry, I forgot. I made plans with Iris and didn’t think about it.” he explained.

“Iris, Iris, Iris. Barry, it’s always Iris first. What happened to the three of us?” you ask, tears slowly falling from your face.

“I… I don’t know,” he replies.

“Barry, it’s so hard for me to be around you. I love you Barry. For god’s sake, I love you. But you don’t feel the same for me… and it’s so hard… to… to look at you look pining over Iris. Like she’s all you need.” you say voice cracking from time to time.

“Barry, I think you should go.” your tears had stopped and you were in need of some ice cream.

You closed the door and went upstairs, waiting for the day to just end. When your parents came home, they had great news. You were moving to Starling City.

part II masterlist inbox