#To Know Where the Light Comes From

[makeusfly]

To Know Where the Light Comes From, Chapter 1

More Light Than Heat

Chapter one is dedicated to @cantdanceflynn for doing such an amazing job running @dwampyverseawards, which finally got the muses willing to type something up.

Jump Then Fall

Read on A03

The dinner dishes had been cleared long enough that Ferb would have expected everyone to disperse - but they were still there.  His father was making a cup of tea while his mother flipped through a magazine and Phineas sketched something on a blueprint.  It occurred to Ferb that he wasn’t the only one who missed family dinners now that he and Phineas spent most of the year at the university.  Even Candace - who, theoretically, didn’t live on this side of Danville anymore - was there, making notes in a binder as she talked into the phone clutched precariously between her cheek and shoulder.  She laid it on the table just as he sat back down, having retrieved his sheet music.

“How did you end up doing all of this, love?” their father asked as he placed a tea cup in front of Ferb and took his own seat.

Candace rolled her eyes.  “The band’s last manager was an idiot, but so are all the ones they’ve interviewed so far.  And the festival is coming up really quickly, and then I made the mistake of volunteering.”

“Do you need help?” Phineas asked brightly, looking up from his plans.

She eyed him suspiciously at first, but eventually said, “I think I’m okay, but I’ll let you know.  But that does remind me: do you need a plus one?  You know, since Ferb’s bringing his secret girlfriend?”

Ferb looked up slowly, feeling the blood drain from his face, but no one else acted like she’d said anything shocking.  Finally, Candace asked, “What?”

He raised both eyebrows.

“What?  You think I don’t know?  I take full credit for making it happen.”

Ferb turned to his brother, who looked just as perplexed as he felt as Ferb pointed to him.

“Yeah?” Candace scoffed.  “Who do you think told him?”

“Okay…she might have a point there, bro.”

Before he could say anything - or gauge how his parents felt about this development - there was a knock and his mother got up to answer.

“Good morning, Isabella.”

“Morning, Mrs.-”

His mum cleared her throat.  With a small smile, Isabella corrected herself.  “Linda.  Hi!  Is Candace - oh, there she is. Candace!”

Linda let her pass and went back to her magazine.

“Hey!” Phineas exclaimed first.  “I didn’t know you were coming home two weekends in a row.”

“I bought a new dress for the festival, but the shoes I wanted to wear with it were here…and I have a car now; I can do things like that.”  She winked at Ferb.  “Plus!”  She smiled wide.  “I need to ask Candace for a favor.”

“And you had to ask in person in case you needed to use the puppy dog pout?  Because it won’t work on me.”

Isabella cocked her head, thinking for a moment.  If it were anyone else, Ferb knew she would challenge that assertion…but it was Candace.  “Is…Jeremy around?”

“You think your puppy dog pout will work on my husband?”

Isabella pulled out the only empty seat and sat at the end of the table, facing Candace.

“Johnson, I’m going to level with you because, if you’re planning on having children with this man, you’re going to need to know: I don’t have to use the puppy dog pout on your husband.  The second I - or Phineas or Ferb - so much as imply we might need something, he goes into overdrive big brother mode.”

“Ferb and I concur.”

Candace sighed.  “Yeah, that makes sense.  Just tell me what you need, Isabella.”

“I have a new friend.  And I just found out she’s really into Jeremy and the Incidentals, but something went wrong with TicketMaster-”

“Ugh, TicketMaster.”

“Exactly, so she didn’t get a ticket for next Friday, and I was hoping…”

Candace laughed.  “I didn’t realize you wanted something easy.  Yeah, you can have an extra pass.”

“Umm…by ‘pass,’ you mean ‘ticket,’ right?”

“You’re with the band, Isabella.  You’ve got Backstage All Access.  Do you need a parking pass too?”

She pursed her lips and looked across the table to Ferb, who gave her a thumbs up.

“Nope,” she said with a grin.  “Ferb will drive us.”

“Great.  Done.”

“Thank you so much.”  With that settled, her shoulders relaxed and she looked back at him, curious.  “Why are you two here two weekends?”

“Oh, Ferb-”

A kick - not hard, but definitely present - stopped him.

“I mean…no reason,” he finished too quickly.

Isabella raised an eyebrow at him but, when he didn’t say anything else, she turned it on Ferb.

Ferb blinked innocently.

“Well then.”  She stood up.  “I should go.  Mom and I are going to watch a movie.”

“Ooh, which one?”

“ Barbie.  Did you see it?”

“Candace and I went together.  We both cried.”

“ Mom .”

She chuckled.  “Have fun.”

Ferb slid his chair back.  “I’ll walk you.”

“So you can explain - “ she pointed between him and Phineas.  “- whatever that was?”

“Not gonna happen,” he said, pushing his chair under the table.

“Wanna round up whichever of the girls are here for a Backyard Extravaganza tomorrow?” Phineas called out, tapping the pencil against the table.  “Buford’s coming.”

“Sounds fun.  I’ll see you then.  Check your Snaps!”

Ferb held the door for her and they walked out into the still-warm autumn air.

“You really won’t tell me?”

“You’ll find out soon enough.  Speaking of…Candace told them you were coming to the concert.”

“Sure.  I was there.”

“No.”  They’d reached her front porch, and she took the couple steps up while he stood on the pavement.  “She told them my secret girlfriend is coming.”

She blanched.  Swallowing, she said, “Well…we were going to have to tell them eventually.”

“Are you ready?”

“Are you ready?”

“Darling, I’ve been ready.”

“You said they might disapprove because of the whole Phineas thing.”

“I said they’d be confused because of the whole ‘you used to date my brother’ bit.”

“What if they do disapprove though?”

He shook his head.

“Ferb, if it were any other girl, your family disliking them would be the ultimate dealbreaker.”

“Irrelevant.  My family loves you.  If they aren’t sure about us , they’ll come around.”  He took her hand, kissed the back of it.  “And I am sure.”

She smiled, rubbing the back of his hand with her thumb.  Ferb wasn’t a stranger to touch.  In many ways, he was more practiced communicating tactilely than verbally. He was even familiar with touching Isabella, as he’d known her most of his life and considered her a close friend almost as long.

It’s not that he hadn’t known it would be different.  Kissing her still felt like a miracle every time, and more private activities a spiritual rite all their own.

The surprising thing was how casually intimate the rest of it was.  Their fingers intertwined, her thumb brushing against his skin, his hand on her knee as he drove.  They made him feel good and warm and safe in ways he hadn’t known something so simple could.

Of course, he never wanted to do anything she wasn’t ready for, but he couldn’t say he was unhappy they couldn’t hide anymore.  It had reached the point where not reaching for her hand when he stood next to her felt unnatural.

“Okay,” she said, and it was such a relief no longer having to hide how looking into her blue eyes made him feel.  “Let’s go for it.”  Her free hand found his cheek and she leaned down to kiss him.  It was a brief one, chaste even, but it still made him sigh.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said, kissing her one more time before taking a step back.  She squeezed his hand and tugged him towards her.

“Or…” she said, a mischievous glint in her eyes.  “You could come by tonight.”

Stone faced, he said, “I’m not going to tell you what Phineas was going to say.”

“Oh, I don’t think we’ll do much talking,” she whispered.

His breath caught in his throat.  “I’ll see you tonight,” he said finally.  Satisfied, she let his hand slide out of hers and let him cross the street back home.

In the backyard the next morning, Ferb was big enough to admit he’d made a mistake.

Perhaps ‘mistake’ was the wrong word.  He had thoroughly enjoyed himself.  He wouldn’t go back and make a different choice.

Still.  He was exhausted.  Phineas was reading from the plans he’d finalized last night, barking directions.  Buford and three Fireside Girls were hammering and drilling and just in general being very loud.  And Isabella wasn’t even here, so Ferb’s real mistake had been getting out of bed when he clearly could have slept another hour.

His real mistake was getting out of her bed, when she -

“You don’t look so hot, Union Jack.”

He glared at Buford, rubbing the building headache in his temple.

“Late Night?”

“I-”

“Good morning!”

The headache didn’t abate completely, but it was a near thing.  She had her hair up in a pony-tail and was wearing a long-sleeve t-shirt in deference to the cooling autumn morning, but her denim skirt didn’t quite reach her knees.

“You’re chipper this morning,” Buford said with a smirk.

“Why wouldn’t I be?  The sun is shining, it’s a beautiful fall day, my boys are here…”  She sighed, slinging an arm over Ferb’s shoulder.  “And I don’t know what they’re building, but I’m sure it’ll be very exciting.”

“Well, Phineas has his eye on the ball, but I dunno where Ferb’s head is at.”

“Oh?”  She turned to look at him, pouting just a little.  As if that weren’t enough, as if the way her lip jutted out didn’t just beg for him to bite it, her face was inches from his now.  “Everything okay?”

And that was the final straw on a very weak camel’s back.  He swallowed hard.

“I’m going to go make coffee.”

He moved quickly.  By the time he got the pot going, Isabella had slipped inside and into the hall, just out of sight of the backyard.  Ferb spared a quick glance to make sure no one was watching so they wouldn’t see him cross the living room to get to her.  With a hand on her hip and one in her hair he pushed her against the wall, crushing his mouth against hers.

Pulling away for just a moment, she asked, “You did actually start coffee, right?”

He was already dropping kisses down her neck, but he hummed an affirmation against her skin.  Tugging him along, she slid down the wall into the nearby bathroom and locked the door behind them.

When they were finished, he let her return to the backyard first, taking his time to make a cup of coffee he could tolerate.  Once he was back outside, he saw she and Phineas were laughing over something across the yard.

And that had been strange too.  In quiet moments, alone in the twin bed in his dorm room, it had occurred to him that maybe he should be jealous, that maybe he should worry that her feelings for Phineas would resurface, or that his brother would suddenly realize the mistake he made in letting her go.  But every time he saw the two of them together - laughing, enjoying each other’s company - he couldn’t muster it.  She chose him.  And since that wasn’t in question, there was nothing keeping him from being absolutely thrilled that his two favorite people were each other’s favorite people as well.

“Do you think they’ll get back together?”

He snapped to attention, turning to see that Gretchen, thankfully, wasn’t talking to him.  Next to her, Buford released a bark of laughter.

“Hell, no.”

Ferb took a sip of his coffee, trying to hide his smile.  He thought he’d been pretty successful, until Gretchen crossed the yard to join Isabella on her project and Buford sidled up to him.

“How much longer do I gotta act like I don’t know?”

Ferb raised an eyebrow. 

“Don’t play dumb with me.  How long?”

Ferb sighed and held up one finger.

“Day?”

He shook his head, drawing a circle in a ‘keep going’ gesture.

“A week?”

He nodded.

“Good.  I am not great at keeping secrets.”  His eyes darted from one side to the next before asking. “But, uh…Dinner Bell does know…right?”

Ferb nodded fervently, but it didn’t feel like enough, so he added, “Phineas doesn’t-”

Buford rolled his eyes and waved him off.  “Please.  Phineas was never going to see Isabella romantically.  Isabella was always going to grow out of that childish infatuation.  And you two have been a perfect fit since - well, always, but I know y’all started feeling it in high school.  And I’m actually glad it took you a minute to figure it out.  Means you got a better shot at making it all the way.”

Smugly, he put his fists on his hips and finished, “I might look, act, and sound stupid, but I know what’s up.”

Ferb found himself swallowing back a lump in his throat for some reason.  “Who called you stupid?  I’ll get my girlfriend to beat them up.”

Buford chuckled.  “God, I’d hate to be that guy.  That’s the only reason you aren’t getting the ‘break her heart, I’ll break your face’ talk.”

After a moment of silence, he said, “Look, I’m going to be sincere for about 30 seconds, so shut up and listen, okay?”

Ferb didn’t bother to remind him that he rarely spoke, just nodded.

“I think you’re great, but I also think you got real lucky.  But…I also think Isabella is both great and lucky.  So just…”

He took a breath, and Ferb expected him to tell him not to mess it up, but instead he said, “Let yourself enjoy it, okay?”

Ferb swallowed roughly.  When it was evident Buford wasn’t going to say anything else, he prodded, “You still have about 15 seconds.”

“Nah, I’m done.”

“How are things with Bal-”

“Nope.  Done.”  

Ferb conceded with a slight shrug.  Fair enough . 

When he turned to see how Isabella was doing, she was already looking his way, smiling brightly enough to put the sun to shame.

[justladders]

me when the low frame rate rabbit

and some random palette swaps below the cut

[alluralater]

i can’t lie— there is a certain amount of euphoria that washes over me when i tell another girl to shut the fuck up and take my cock and she says yes yes yes and just keeps nodding like the prettiest dumb toy for me

[minionwater]

🌀killer in the mirror🌀

[triona-tribblescore]

Kinda just a mindless doodle idk :'>

[captainhysunstuff]

22 more images (with some saucy shenanigans and immature "seduction" tactics towards the end) below the cut:

Ryuk makes his grand return and is brought up to speed with Light and L's immoral union. The date seems pretty successful~.

Next (Mature)

Next (Super Abridged)

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Master List

Transcript

[opikiquu]

[shiensmh]

girlhood is a spectrum

[fauvester]

“or you know we could just adopt some day I guess”

[cepheusgalaxy]

look guys i very strongly disagree with the "trans men hold privilege over trans women" point of view and i'm finally able to articulate why:

I think trans men don't hold privilege over trans women, because privilege is kind of a consistent thing.

Like, bear with me: I'm an abled person. I have privilege in relation to disabled people. Because, if me and a disabled person are in a Situation where this distinction is relevant in some way...I'm literally never gonna come out with the worst hand. Never. No matter what the situation is. This is a consistent fact.

Now, when we talk about different transgender identities, I think this gets more shady, because the "who has privilege in relation to who" is a relative statement. One example I saw of people explaining why in their view trans man have privilege over trans women is kind of like this: Imagine there are two passing and stealth trans people, a trans man and a trans woman, in a workplace. Then, it comes a coworker, being blatanly misogynist. Regardless of their views on trans people, in this situation, the trans woman is gonna get the worst of it, in relation to the trans man, because he will be viewed as a man.

It makes sense, and I don't think this hypothetical situation is inaccurate or anything, but I'd also like to point out why it doesn't work as a good point to why transmascs have privilege over transfems. Imagine we change about any variable in this situation. Let's say the trans woman is closeted as a guy, and the trans man is openly transgender. The misogynist coworker then would very much target the trans man in their points, especially if they are particularly transphobic. Now imagine both of them are out and openly trans, with the bonus that now both the man and the woman are gnc. Depending on other specifics, the misoginyst coworker might be bigoted to just one or both of them.

Like, do you see? In different situations, the different trans people have the worst hand. So that doesn't mean that because of the first case, trans men have it generally better. Because there are many kinds of trans men, and simply not all of them have privilege over trans women. In some cases, they might even have it worse precisely because they are trans man. So the privilege the trans man in the first example has is not a consistent thing over trans man! Maybe it's common, I don't know, but when we compare it with someone who has real privilege, like me, an abled person, I ain't ever encounter myself in a situation where I'm having it worse because I am abled in comparison to someone who is disabled.

That's why I think trans woman and trans men simply don't hold privilege over one another, simply because it varies. It depends on who the trans men and women are, it depends in what situation they are in, it depends on the people around them, it depends of so much!!! So saying that trans men have privilege over trans women sounds simply surreal!

I think that, also, the different patterns of the situations in which trans woman have it worse are important to be discussed, and that's why we have the word Transmisoginy, to discuss these issues pertinent to the nuanced oppression trans woman face (and on a similar note, that's why it's also important to have fucking words like Transmisogynoir, because a black trans woman's Situations will be different from a white trans woman's Situations and it's important to to recognize that). THAT's why I also think that we need words like Exorsexism and Transandrophobia, to identify the patterns of situations where trans men have it bad precisely because they are trans men and not something else or because nonbinary people have it bad precisely because they are nonbinary.

SO, in short, my opinion on the "trans man have it generally better than trans woman and that's why they have privilege" debate is that trans man don't generally have it better than trans woman, but some trans man in specific situations have it significantly better than trans woman and that in other situations trans woman have it significantly better than trans man and that is basically a case-to-case scenario and that's also why we need the specific words for different shapes and faces of transphobia to better understand these cases and why x happens with y at z situation. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

[heartslobbf]

hater alert! far too many people say that juri’s character arc ‘isn’t about her being sad about being gay, it’s about being sad about unrequited love that happens to be gay’ and. well. that is not true and by saying that you are completely flattening the brilliance of juri’s character arc which literally culminates in her being able to accept her own lesbianism despite her unrequited love, despite all her shame and self-loathing, despite this pursuit by Some Fucking Guy to try and ‘save’ her from these feelings. like if you think juri’s entire character is just ‘sad about shiori’ how do you appreciate even a modicum of the emotion packed into that final juri duel. it is both about shiori and, even broader, her lesbian identity and what that means to her intrinsically as a person, removed from romantic relationships and just purely as like. you know. Who She Is. the idea that even when juri’s locket is cut from her neck she is still a lesbian that’s still who she is and she cant change that and, crucially, she doesn’t want to even as she is agonised by these feelings. that’s why she forfeits the duel!!!! she’s clocking out she’s quitting she’s saying no!!!!!! this is me and ive got to be ok with that this is me and i can accept that this girl might not love me and i can keep living despite that. like. god im so normal arisugawa juri im so sorry that no one understands you and your intrinsically unapologetically lesbian storyline like i do

[luck-of-the-drawings]

!!! FLASHING LIGHTS WARNING!!! [IM NOT FUCKIN AROUND!!]

REACHED THE CUSP OF 'THIS MAY NEVER BE ABSOLUTELY FINISHED N IF I DONT SHOW IT NOW, IT WILL NEVER SEE THE LIGHT OF DAY.' SO HERE, A PROJECT IVE BEEN ORBITING AROUND UHH SINCE 2021 OR SO.

[avianii]

ran home and speed ran our class t-shirt design for spirit week and then i got distracted andddddd

@calkale @malewifebillcage twink boutta pounce

[agardenofideas]

i hope sunny gets a villain arc if tubbo wont get one fully

like i need her to lash out at every single adult around her for not carring for her pa or her (looking at phil who offered to care for pomme and dapper when he wouldnt for sunny on tubbos Confirmed death), for no one taking her pa seriously, for taking things from them, from her pa until there was nothing left of him.

i need her to lash out at the adults for never seeing her pa hurting and thinking it wasnt serious, i need her to lash out in peoples faces how she had said they were worried for her pa and the adults just said hes like that or he'll get better and he didn't

i want her to lash out and reveal that tubbo said to her he felt more seen and cared about by a fed worker who was learning to have emotions than from any islander around

i want her to burn things, even if not a house and just a wood she placed down to set fire, i want her to do that, i want her to blow things up and lash out and be heard

cuz if being a good girl for her pa ends with them unheard and him dead then she will be heard now and once this thing called Creation gets her pa back to her, she is not letting him go

if any of the adults who didnt do anything to get him back cared for him in life and cared just a bit in death, they dont deserve to see her pa back again, he is sunny's and sunny's alone

i want sunny to spew vitrol and fire and to lash out at everyone, she deserves to go on a murderous rampage too as a treat

[chiropteracupola]

Nuestra señora.

[carp3tpasta]

A savior with one purpose,

A means to an end