#To help keep Danny at ease about therapy

[kettlefire]

DP x DC Therapy Prompt

Part 2

Bruce Wayne makes a point to send all his kids to therapy. It didn't matter how much they moan and groan, they were going.

If Alfred thought it was a good idea to force teenage Bruce to go to therapy, then it's definitely a good idea to send the Batkids.

And it helped. Therapy did good for his kids, and eventually, without fail, the kids started being okay going.

Wanting to go.

So yes, when a new black hair, blue eyed teen joins his family, he included him.

Especially when Danny dropped a trauma-bomb during the middle the dinner like it was nothing. 

If any of his kids needed therapy, it was him.

Thing was, getting Danny to the therapist was like getting a dog to the vet. If the dog had ghostly abilities and was extremely hard to catch.

Cut to the new weekly tradition of "will Danny go to therapy this time?"

They never managed to catch him for his appointment.

Bruce was getting fed up with all the chasing, and arguing, just all of it.

So he decided on a new course of action. His therapist absolutely wasn't the one to suggest it. He decided to finally just ask Danny why he was so against therapy.

He didn't get an answer. Instead, Danny deflected the question. Asked him why it's so important, the teen was fine. He didn't need therapy. Danny got defensive.

Bruce dropped it.

After all, how could he forced an over-powered teenage king into going to a regular old therapy office?

As much as Bruce says he forces his children into therapy, he doesn't actually really force anyone. If someone puts their foot down, he'll back off.

He never brought up again, never bothered trying. Danny made it clear he didn't like therapy, regardless the reason.

Bruce can respect that. He just wished Danny would just give it a try.

Then one night, when he got home from patrol, Danny was waiting for him in the cave.

Looking ridiculously uncomfortable, and fidgeting, Danny finally talked to him. Even as Bruce watch tears gather.

Danny recounted everything that happened when he dealt with a therapist for the first and only time. How she turned out to be an evil ghost, driving the students of his high school into a deep depression.

How it took so long for him to be able to get pulled out of it. His fear that there will be a repeat, and he doesn't think he can handle it. All the fear and anxiety he felt every time they mentioned him going to therapy.

The adrenaline response he’s body would kick into. 

That night ended with a hug as the teen silently cried. Bruce promising him over and over again that no one would force him to go. If he ever decided to give it a try, he can leave the session at any moment. Fire the therapist.

Whatever Danny needed, Bruce would give it to him. 

A few weeks later, Bruce was happy Danny was giving it a try. 

[kizzer55555]

Dan is not a hero, so will the Justice league PLEASE leave him alone?!

When Dan was born, he isn’t just Danny. He’s also half Vlad, which means when he was created their obsessions combined. Danny’s obsession is protection but Vlad’s obsession is family. A ghost’s obsession develops based on how the ghost acts after they are born, what they latch onto, what they like. It usually takes a few weeks to fully form which is why ghosts can have such different obsessions. Danny’s obsession became protection due to his constant actions of protecting people. Vlad’s obsession became to create a family as that is all he thought about during his hospital visits. To make a family with Maddie. Dani even developed her obsession with freedom after she went out exploring. And once an obsession is created, it cements the ghost’s instincts to follow it. That this is what the ghost must continue doing to survive. To get stronger.

But Dan didn’t have that time. He was combined with two ghosts that already had fully formed obsessions, and so those obsessions merged with each other. Dan’s obsession is to protect his family, but by the time it formed, his family was already gone. And that…really messes with a ghost.

Vlad thought that Dan had gone evil because of his evil ghost side. But in reality, it was due to the loss of an obsession. In his initial madness upon formation, he ended up killing Danny. The only person he might have considered family. As for Vlad, the fruitloop hated himself so much that even if part of his ghost, part of his soul, was within Dan, it wouldn’t recognize him as family. And Danny’s ghost half certainly wouldn’t. And when a ghost looses their obsession, they go mad.

All Dan had left, was his own life. He wasn’t truly an older version of Danny. He was something new created from half of two souls. He had parts of both Vlad and Danny. Where Danny was stubborn, Vlad was cunning. Where Danny might feel uncomfortable with social interaction with his peers, Vlad would put on a mask or try to seem more threatening when stressed. He had fragments of their memories but none of the emotional attachment unless it was connected to his obsession. So when a younger him came to his future timeline, all Dan focused on was making sure he would still be created.

And then he lost.

But loosing wasn’t the end. He eventually managed to be free of his cage and sent through therapy (Likely curtesy of Jazz who felt it wrong to keep him trapped forever). And Dan was forced to go through therapy until he eventually got to the point where ok…fine he won’t kill anyone (as long as they don’t attack him first). It also helped that his obsession madness was wearing off. Now that he had his family again, and they were safe, it eased off a bit of the pressure, allowing him to think again.

But now he didn’t know what to do. For the first time in a while, Dan was free. But it wasn’t like he could indulge his obsession. Maddie and Jack hated ghosts and since he’s technically made of two ghost halves, he wasn’t a halfa and couldn’t take a human form or just walk up to them. Moreover, he wasn’t Danny or Vlad so could he truly consider them family?

That’s when he started interacting with Phantom. It was small at first, just checkups to see how his therapy was going or Dan even sneaking into Fenton works to watch what was happening because she was bored. Eventually, they got a bit closer and developed a sibling like relationship (if Dan was a prickly older brother who refused to show he cared) and his obsession latched onto Danny. For a while, Dan was in denial of this. The kid a twerp, only half the power he was (ignoring the fact that the kid beat him) and full of human emotion and teenage drama. So Dan tried to limit his visits. Only coming every month or so. The other time kinda wandering the zone and getting into fights.

And then one day he came to visits only to see a scene from his nightmares.

(Warning for gore)

It was dead quite, the lab covered in green blood, various organs preserved on jars or just lying on the surrounding lab tables. Scalpels, syringes, and other tools dripping green. And on the center of the lab, strapped to a table, was a small blue orb.

Dan knew what a core looked like. He had ripped out enough in his previous timeline to know that they should not be that dim. That they should not have cracks running down their surface, and that they absolutely should not have chunks gouged out of their sides. It barely looked like an orb anymore but there, Dan could faintly feel the energy of a young ghost. And he knew exactly who this core belonged to.

So Dan did the only think he could think of. He took his little brother’s core and ran.

Dan had no idea how to heal a broken core, and Danny’s core (his soul) felt room temperature which couldn’t mean anything good for an ice core. It was also severely lacking in ectoplasm (Dan refused to think of all the green splattered across the lab. This was also the day he decided that NO, the Fentons would not be considered family).

A normal core would have melted down into goop by now with all the damage it sustained. It was likely only still ‘alive’ due to Danny’s halfas status. There was no known cure or medical procedure for this. The only thing Dan could do was place the core within himself, nestled right next to his own core in an attempt to absorb his access ectoplasm and get stronger. But that wouldn’t be enough. A ghost needed to fulfil their obsession to get stronger. But Danny was unable to protect anyone in his current state. Which meant there was only one option. Dan would have to act like a host and fulfil the obsession for him. Which meant Dan would have to feed his brother….by…saving people…

Oh joy….

And thus begins Dan’s various attempts of heroism against his will. He is incredibly efficient and powerful but he looks like he hates every moment of it and might even be scowling at the people he saved. Moreover, he can’t even kill anyone! Killing is the opposite of protecting and wouldn’t help his brother heal so he has to restrain himself. (And when he attempts to smile, it looks so forced and with such sharp teeth that people become even more scared). The justice league have no idea what to do with this unknown.

He’s not a villain (they don’t think?). Just some overpowered guy who is saving a bunch of people (and even the heroes themselves) but has the prickliest personality you can imagine. Dan is not a people person. Add onto that him trying to escape Vlad’s attempts to ‘help’ (he doesn’t trust that fruitloop as far as he can throw him). And resisting going anywhere near the Fentons. As much as he wants to seek vengeance against them for what they did, he doesn’t want them near Danny and there is nothing that could make him drop his brother’s core somewhere else. It’s safest with him. The Fentons haven’t even realized Danny is missing. So this is basically just Dan forced to be a hero and he hates every second of it (but would do anything to protect his baby brother). And Dan maybe sort of befriending rogues and heroes (or them trying very hard to befriend him).

He is a loner. He does not like company, and he is incredibly self conscious when powerful people get near him and his precious cargo.

One day, they might realize Dan doesn’t enjoy being a hero or even really care about the people he saves (despite his meticulousness when it comes to getting everyone out alive). And if they ask, he could say he saves people because he’s selfish which just makes them more confused (or he says he has his own reasons).

Dan basically acts like a wet stray cat around everyone. (A cat with a kitten). He won’t attack them, but he will make it very clear that he does not like them (despite saving their lives multiple times) and he will not respond to their affections. It’s his fault the Justice league misunderstand his actions. He’s only doing it to heal his brother (not that he will ever tell them) but now the Justice league just think he’s a tsundere. Trying to hide that he cares.

No, Dan literally could not care less. Seriously, please leave him alone.

Later, much later, something happens where Dan takes a hit that affects his core/ectoplasm and he freaks out. The Justice league might not understand why until he takes out a second core and checks it over like a mother hen, hissing and snarling at anyone who gets close. This core is unlike anything the magic users have ever seen. They know what a core is, they know it’s a soul. To see one so damaged, it’s nauseating. (Dan is either freaking out for nothing or is actively trying to save the core that was dying in his hands and has to trust his magic user teammates/sort-of-maybe-but-not-yet friends to save him).

When everything is over, they ask who the core belongs to. It has to be someone Dan cares about. Ghosts don’t normally protect or try to care for other cores (it’s usually survival of the fittest) and Dan didn’t seem like the caring type. So they ask despite Dan trying to ignore their questions or brush them off. Eventually, he caves and drops the bombshell that it’s his little brother (and either admits it was their parents who did this to him or just the ‘Fenton’ scientists) and that he became a hero to try and replenish his brother’s strength since he’s a spirit of protection. He explains about cores and obsessions. How his brother’s obsession is protection and his obsession is to keep his family safe.

The Justice league’s hearts break.

Also, Ellie is in this and also has a sibling like relationship with Danny although is a bit distant with Dan (since they remind each other too much of Vlad to be comfortable) and they work together to try and bring Danny back and care for him. Ellie knows how to make ecto dejecto and tries to bring some. Also, in this au, Danny isn’t the ghost king. He’s just a normal ghost. So Dan will fight other ghosts to keep him safe.

Would it be funny if Ellie basically treats Dan as if he’s fragile? Like, she knows Dan is carrying Danny’s core so she’s like “why don’t you lay down?” “Are you eating alright?” “Be careful in that fight!” But at the same time, she’s constantly getting on his nerves and doing everything in her power to annoy him or just doesn’t seem interested in his life. The Justice league are very confused by their interactions. Especially when they see Dan take on an entire army single handedly. Dan hates the hovering even though he understands why she does it. (And when the Justice league realize Dan is carrying his brother’s core they might hover too.)

[messedupfan]

Benefits of Car Troubles (Part 6)

Summary: Matt finds out about Leigh's pregnancy and confronts her about the baby.

A/N: Finally!! The end of this story! This will be the last chapter. Enjoy!

Masterlist | All Stories Taglist | One Two Three Four Five

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A knock on the front door startles Leigh. She doesn’t know why. She was home alone and Jules is known for forgetting her keys often. But something about the shift in energy in the house made her heart speed up. She takes a breath to calm down before she opens the door and gets the answer to her mental questions. “Matt, Danny, what are you doing here?” 

“Is it true?” Matt asks as he steps forward. 

“I-I have no idea what you’re talking about,” she straightens her posture and hopes her baby bump isn’t noticeable. 

“Come on man. I told you to just drop it. You're better off this way.” Danny tries to pull his brother back but he shakes him off. 

“No, I need to hear it,” Matt demands. “Leigh, are you pregnant?” 

Leigh’s heart drops at the question. She had been so careful. She only told her family and you. How could Matt have found out? Not sure how to handle the situation properly she sticks with what she knows best. She continues her charade. She begins to laugh, “Where did you hear something like that?”

“Stop it, Estelle already told me everything. The real reason why you left me in the middle of night.” At Matt's words, Leigh clenches her jaw as she thinks back to the day she left him. She told everyone that he ended it because that just seemed easier. That they were both the cause of their marriage ending. But that wasn't exactly the case. She confronted him about his affair and he immediately started asking for forgiveness. He told her that it had been over for a few weeks by then and that he realized just how much he loved Leigh and that he never wanted to lose her. 

Matt suggested couples therapy or anything to help them work through their issues and save their marriage. Leigh almost gave in to him, well, she did. She told him that they could fix their problems. That she loved him. But once he went to bed she realized that she hated the thought of letting you go more than she did ending her marriage. So she wrote a short letter about how she wasn't sure that she could ever trust Matt again and that there was no relationship without that trust. She packed a bag and she got in her car and she left. She wasn't quite sure how to tell everyone. She didn't want to look like the villain in this story. So, she made up a different one. 

“Matt, let me start by saying—”

“Leigh, I know I said that I didn't want kids but… would you really keep my own child from me?” He cuts her off. 

Her eyebrows draw together. “I guess Estelle didn't tell you the real reason.”

“What do you mean?”

Leigh bites her lip as she rubs her knuckles with her fingers and considers her words to ease him in. “Matt, you weren’t the only one unfaithful in our marriage. This baby, she isn’t yours.” 

“What?” he breathes out as betrayal fills his body. Matt steps back and Danny pulls him away. 

“I always knew you were a bitch,” Danny says over his shoulder as he leads his brother away. Leigh shuts the door feeling embarrassed. She couldn't believe that Estelle would make her do that. She takes a breath to remind herself that she is done with that woman. Never again does she have to be polite to her. 

Still upset, Leigh picks up the phone and calls you. Unable to hear your phone as you work under a car, you don't answer. So she tries you again. Same result. Starting to worry she looks up the office number and calls the shop. Teddy is the one to answer with the company's greeting. 

“This is Teddy, how may I be of service?”

Leigh suddenly feels nervous, she only knows stories about Teddy, she has yet to formally meet the woman. “I-” Leigh isn't sure what she would tell the girl a good reason for disrupting your day would be without giving away too much information. “Dinner,” she finds herself saying. 

“Excuse me? Who is this?” Teddy asks, growing annoyed as she starts to believe it's the prank calling kids.

“It’s Leigh, I'm sorry. I uh I was trying to reach Y/n to uh set up a dinner for the three of us. Because you're important to Y/n and I haven't gotten to meet you yet. I feel kind of bad since they've been forced to sit through so many dinners with my family. And I haven't made the effort to get to know theirs.”

“Oh, that's okay. Y/n doesn't really introduce me to they're partners unless they want them gone. Either I'll take them from Y/n, which is how I met my current girlfriend, or they'll be so threatened by our friendship Y/n will be single again in a week,” Teddy explains. 

“Oh, well, what happens if the girlfriend is the one arranging the meeting?” Leigh challenges. 

“I, huh, that's never happened before. You know what, I say we find out. When is this impromptu dinner?”

“Tonight of course! That won't be a problem, will it?”

“I don't believe so, I will see you at six thirty. I'll bring dessert,” Teddy confirms. 

“Fantastic, I think we'll get along great!” Leigh boasts. Teddy agrees with an awkward laugh as she hangs up. Now she really needs to get a hold of you but first, she has to go shopping for ingredients for dinner. She goes to the grocery store and continues to try and get a hold of you. It’s not until she is putting the grocery bags away in the trunk of her car that you finally call her back in a panic. 

“What’s the matter? Are you okay? Is it the baby?” You rush out as soon as she answers. 

“Woah, woah, calm down, Y/n. Everything is okay,”  Leigh says as she tosses another bag in with one hand. 

“Calm down? Leigh, you called me fifty times!” 

“Okay, I can see why you’re panicking. But really, everything is fine. I was just contacting you to inform you that Teddy is joining us for dinner tonight. I’m heading over now to cook something special for everyone.” Leigh gets into her car and starts the engine. 

“Oh,” you say, confused. “When did this happen?”

“Well, I was calling earlier to talk to you about something but it’s not important anymore. Teddy picked up the store phone and we got to talking and the idea just came to me. You’ve been so good about coming into my life, it’s time I put effort into joining yours.” Leigh pulls out of the parking lot. 

“Sweetheart, you’re so thoughtful. Okay, I’ll head upstairs now to go clean the place up.” You say as you send your last worker home. “I love you. I’ll see you soon,” you grin. 

“I love you too,” Leigh’s heart swells in her chest. It felt good to be able to be free, happy, and in love. 

At a bar near your auto shop, Matt and Danny are being kicked out of a bar after they went well over their limit and the bartender cut them off. The brothers make their way to a convenience store and they purchase a case of beer, a pack of cigarettes, and a lighter. They stumble around until they spot your shop. Matt remembered seeing a short story written on a piece of paper with the logo. He blinks a few times as he realizes it wasn’t a short story that someone wanted Leigh to review. It was a love letter. 

“Danny,” Matt nudges his brother for his attention. “Danny,” he calls again. 

“Yeah? What?” He slurs and staggers to a stop. 

“There,” he points to the shop. His brother struggles to read the sign and has no clue why Matt was pointing it out. “That’s who knocked up my wife!” Matt says with frustration. 

Danny starts laughing, “Bro, that’s a building! It would have crushed her!” 

“No, no, they work there,” Matt explains. 

“Oooh,” Danny connects the dots and gets as upset as his brother. “Let’s go teach this fucker a lesson.” He marches across the empty street, carrying the case of beer. Matt follows and they bang on the closed garage doors. “Open up you son of a bitch!” Danny shouts as he bangs harder. 

You are confused by the loud noise and open your window to see what’s going on. You roll your eyes as you see the drunk homeless men knocking on the garage gates. You shut the window with a sigh and grab your baseball bat. You walk downstairs and sneak up on the two from the side door. “Come on guys, you have to go. We’re closed.” One that was holding an open case of beer, drops it and takes a swing at you. Luckily, you dodge the hit. “Hey! Woah! There’s no need to get violent. Okay? Just leave or I’ll be forced to call the cops.” Then you see him. The man from Leigh’s photos. You gulp. “Hey, Matt, look. I never intended for things to go this way. She said you guys were getting a divorce.” 

“Oh is that so?” Matt shoves you and you let him. He’s earned a shove. “Where is she right now? She in there? Were you fucking her just now?” He asks angrily as he goes in for another shove. 

“No! No!” You shout as you shake your head. It was clear that he was wasted out of his mind. “She isn’t here. She’s at home. Look, we don’t have to get into anything here. Okay? Just walk away.” 

Matt laughs manically, “Funny that you’re telling me to walk away! When that’s what you should have done! We were happy! Until you came and ruined everything!!” Matt charges at you and you side step him. Letting him run full speed into the metal gate. This agitates Danny and he comes at you again. You run into the building and lock the door behind you. They bang on the door as they scream vicious words at you. 

“Hello nine-one-one, what’s your emergency?” The woman says. 

“My girlfriend’s ex and his brother attacked me at my place of business and refused to leave,” you explain to the operator. You give her the address and she says that someone should arrive shortly. You thank her and as the call ends, a rock is thrown through the garage windows. “Shit,” you curse under your breath and head to your office to retrieve a gift from your father. You never wanted to have to use it, but if it scared them away, and kept them from trying anything with Leigh and your family in the future, then so be it. You struggle to get the combination right as more things are thrown into the shop. Fearing for your life, you pray over and over that Leigh doesn’t get here while they’re here. That the cops get here in time. That you get to be there for your friends and family. Not certain of your future, you text Leigh that you love her. 

Leigh is dancing and singing along to her playlist. “I’m so in love that I might stop breathing. Drew a map on your bedroom ceiling. No, I didn’t see the news.” She pulls over to the side when she hears sirens going off. The vehicles are racing down the road and she is curious about what could be happening. When the last one passes her, she resumes her drive as usual and only lowers the car volume when she sees the big cloud of smoke coming from the direction of your business. She drops her foot on the gas, trying to get there fast enough to find out if you’re okay. 

When she arrives, the place is in flames. The windows in your apartment explode from the heat and pressure. “No!” she screams out. Teddy is the one to catch her before she can run into the burning building to attempt to save you. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Teddy tries to console the pregnant woman in her arms but she is hysterical. 

“What happened?” Leigh cries out. “I was just on the phone with them!”

“I know sweetie, I know,” Teddy was trying so hard to keep it together. You were her best friend. You meant the world to her. She knows you would have wanted her to take care of the love of your life when you couldn’t. “I don’t know what happened. I came back here because I forgot my keys and it was already like this. I saw two guys trying to run away but the firefighters caught them before they could get away. 

“Why would someone do this?” Leigh feels lost. There was no reason for this to happen. You were a good person. You didn’t deserve this. “Why did this happen?” She cries into your best friend's shoulder. The cops are walking past them, escorting the two men they arrested and Leigh recognizes them immediately. She stops crying in the same second. “Oh no,” she whispers. 

“What? Do you know them,” Teddy inquires. 

Leigh covers her mouth in shock, “This is all my fault.” 

“What are you talking about? Who are those guys?” Teddy presses. 

“My ex-husband and his brother,” Leigh lets out in a whisper as she begins to feel faint. How could everything go so wrong, so fast? 

The building collapses in on itself as firefighters run out of the building without you and the women know there is no hope in finding you alive. Leigh faints and Teddy catches her as she screams out for help. 

“Leigh,” she hears your soft voice call out softly. “Leigh,” she hears it again and she forces her eyes to open. You are standing in front of her with a teary smile and rocking a bundle of blankets in your arms. “Hi, love,” you greet softly. 

Leigh tries to run up to you to hug, but you shake your head as she is blocked by an invisible wall. She hits the wall with her hands, “No!” She cries. “No! This can’t be the end!” 

“It’s not,” you say in a sweet voice as you step a little closer to her with the baby in your arms. “You’ll have him,” you hand her the baby and he passes through the wall. The incident put Leigh’s pregnancy at risk. You wouldn’t let her lose everything in one fell swoop. Especially not to the man she left. “I’ll watch over you two, always.” You promise as more tears roll down your eyes. 

Leigh holds the baby in her arms and lets out a sob as she stares at his beautiful, soft, sleeping features. “Please cross over,” Leigh begs as she looks up at you. “Please, I can’t do this without you,” she continues, she hopes that when she wakes up you’ll be there. In a hospital bed, but alive. 

You lift your lips up in a short smile as you shake your head, “I can’t.” You press the palms of your hands against the wall and they don’t pass through like the baby did. “You are stronger than you know. It will be okay. You have to go back now,” you say as a door opens behind Leigh. “I love you,” you say one last time.

“I can stay,” Leigh tries again. 

You shake your head, “You can’t. It’s not your time yet.” 

The energy from the door begins to pull her closer and you blow her a kiss as you wave her goodbye. 

Leigh wakes up and finds her mom, sister, and Teddy asleep around the room. She wakes them up with her tears. The group of women had decided not to tell her about your passing until she was stable enough but it seems she already knows. They hold her as she cries. 

A few months later, Leigh is welcoming your son into the world. Danny and Matt are being found guilty under first degree murder and are given two life sentences. As Leigh raises your son on her own she teaches him all about you with the help of Teddy. They make you out to be a hero because your memory deserves better than two drunk idiots. Leigh doesn’t marry again. She tries to date but after losing a future with you, she didn’t have it in her to look for another in anyone else. 

Leigh keeps in contact with Teddy and your father so they can be part of your son’s life. She hated the circumstances in which she met the man. She had envisioned a nice dinner where they talked about him becoming a grandfather and possibly gaining a daughter-in-law. She knew you were going to pop the question at some point and she was preparing herself to say yes. 

As the years go by, it gets easier to be without you. Except when your son has big moments. She knows that you’re there in spirit. But she would rather you be right there next to her in life. When he wins basketball games. When he introduces his significant others. Some are boys and some are girls. When he gets into college. When he graduates. The time he comes home to announce his engagement. The wedding. The birth of his first child. She hated that all of these moments were stolen from you. From her. From him. But as she joins you in the after life, you confirm that you were always there and it brings her peace. 

The end.

Taglist: @princessprudy @sayah13 @agaymilflover @awkwardmandalorian @bentleywolf29 @evenbeingcrazy1998 @olsensnpm @artisannat @thisischaismagic @wqndanat @madamevirgo @likefirenrain @tearsofglitter @feltlikethat @the-writer-arcane @natashasilverfox @karsonromanoff @aloneodi @lovelyy-moonlight @red1culous @jovialsublimecomputer @natasha-maximoff @iliketozoneout @doudouneverte @druggedduck @notbornbutforged @when-wolves-howl @lifespectator @justyourwritter69 @wandaromamoff69 @awesomelygayasf @nekoannie-chan @diaryoflife @wuwu96 @wandanats-goodgirl @sincerely-indi @blueredg52 @sisiwritesfanfics @lizzieinsane

[friendly-neighborhood-imbecille]

i shudder before the bee....

Analysis Conclusive! Asteroid composed entirely of unique anti-ghost element, Ecto-ranium! Negative effects of which can only be felt by ghosts.

It would be most effective in making anti-ghost weapons and to ease Masters' takeover of the Ghost Zone.

And I shall be the one to tell him the good news!

No, I shall!

I shall!

Your resolution is much too low and your bandwidth is far too large!

Why, you HOLOGRAPHIC-!

What a glorious morning. Defeating Frostbite and pilfering the all powerful Infi-map. If this keeps up, I should be ruling the galaxy by lunch.

Kitchen's closed, Plasmius! Give us back the map! 

Ahh!

Let's rock!

3... 2... 1... Punch it!

I know you're a lost guy, Vlad, but no map is going to help you find your way. You need therapy for that.

Uhh...

Seriously, dude. 

Therapy.

The fusion reactor! If the flames reach it, it will explode!

Taking my map, destroying my satellite, mocking my mental health, it's time I finally finished of Danny Phantom once and for all.

Ah, home sweet home. Nothing like good ol' solid terra firma.

I thought you liked being in space, Sam. All that infinite darkness everywhere.

Yeah. Well, I like my darkness with a little more oxygen and a lot less asteroids.

Still, it's cool we were able to help out Frostbite. I bet he'll be glad to get his map back.

Yeah. We'll return it to him as soon as we can. But right now, though, I'm with Sam. It's good to be back to where things are normal. 

Attention, Amity Park! The Fentons are on patrol! Rest assured the streets are safe! Uh, city water supply A-Okay.

Yep, normal.

Nothing like a lazy day of shopping, lattes, and terrorizing minimum-wage workers. Boo. 

I'm going ghost! 

Well, look on the bright side. At least I'm not downloading them illegally. 

Next register, Cyber-jerk!

Behold, Ghost child!

The perfect combination of technology, past AND present! 

The Car-Puter!

"It will drive you... to your DOOM!" 

Great. My first car accident and I'm not even driving yet!

Hey! Tucker! Sam!

Huh?

Yo, I got it Vid!

Awesome Thrash! Take it Download.

Downloaded. Shaw.

Uh, who are those guys?

I don't know, but those are the coolest jumpsuits I've ever seen! Uh, except yours, of course. Black is very slimming.

Adolescents! How dare you? And another thing, the high tech look is my bit! 

Ghost guy gone, area's safe. Have a righteous day.

Masters' Blasters stop disasters!

Greetings, citizens. I hope you've enjoyed this presentation of Amity Park's newest teen ghost fighting team, Masters' Blasters.

Masters' Blasters?

As mayor, I provided city funding for this top notch troop. Equipped with the latest teen technology, they're going to stop ghosts and succeed where Danny Phantom has so obviously failed.

Teen ghost fighters?

Teen technology?

Where Danny Phantom has so obviously failed?

My plan is very simple, out with the old and in with the new! And the old should give up now now if he knows what's good for him.

If Vlad's funding them, then they're definitely up to something.

Hmm, they can't fight ghosts if there are no ghosts to fight, right?

Uh, right.

So you just fight ghosts like crazy.

Yeah, remind everyone in this town how there's no better ghost fighter than Danny Phantom.

You're right. I'll just show 'em who's boss around here. Buckle up guys, Operation: Danny Phantom Rocks is about to begin!

Hmm, 3 news photos of you in your underwear, 9 more and you can have your own calendar.

This is serious, Tucker. As far as this town is concerned, Vlad's goons have totally replaced Danny Phantom.

Did you say Danny Phantom? He's wonderful!

He's my hero!

But he's yesterday's news! Masters' Blasters gave us cool stuff!

Masters' Blasters stop disasters!

Cheer up, Danny. All you have to do is make everyone see you for the hero we know you are.

You can do it, dude. And try a cool slogan. "Danny Phantom stops..." uh, nothing rhymes with "Phantom"

Keep working on that. I'm goin' ghost!

Haha. Check this out, everyone. There's not a ghost anywhere that can stand up to Danny Phantom, the original teen ghost fighter!

Yes, as you can see, Amity Park is in much cooler, safer hands, thanks to Masters' Blasters.

I always knew that Phantom kid was a menace! Not only did he nearly kill Sam and Tucker, but he destroyed a perfectly good parade balloon and that's just plain un-American.

But, Dad. It was just an accident. I for one am glad there's someone out there protecting us. 

Me, too. And they're called Masters' Blasters. Vladdie's team has style, guts, acne, and they're humans, plus they gave my this zippity-keen-o poster.

Why are your folks messing with the Fenton Portal?

Dad's breaking it down to stage one so he can update the software. He says this way, He'll be able to catch ghosts and download songs faster.

Isn't science awesome?

It kinda looks the same way it did when you first got your ghost powers, Danny.

Can we stop talking about my powers, please? They're causing me nothing but problems, lately. I'm starting to think that maybe we'd all be better off without 'em.

Okay, that's enough for today. Come on Maddie, I'll let you rub my feet and remember, I have bunions.

Thank goodness I'm wearing gloves.

This thing gave me my powers. I wonder if it could--

Danny, what are you thinking?

Name one good reason why I should keep my powers.

You're the target of hundreds of evil ghosts. Oh, wait, that's a bad one. I'll go back to rhyming "Phantom".

Danny, think of all the good you've done and our doing. If you took your powers away now--

Hey, Masters' Blasters, remember me? The old orange guy, I --

Jack and Madeline Fenton, our readings indicate an ectoplasmic entity on the premises.

By order of the mayor, you're both under arrest for harboring a ghost.

That does it! I'm goin' ghost! Can't catch ghosts anymore, almost hurt my friends.

Now my parents are arrested because of me?

Danny, stop. This isn't the way.

You're a hero, Danny. We can talk about this.

Don't do it, dude. We'll find something that rhymes with "Phantom".

Sorry, guys.

Danny, can you hear me? How do you feel?

Human.

Danny. Danny, can you hear me?

Did he just do what I think he just did?

You mean step back into the Fenton Portal, remove his ghost powers and revert his DNA profile back to that of a normal human?

I was gonna say go un-ghost, but that works too.

Greetings, dudes. We're here to, like, police the premises for signs of any spectral activity.

Just go about your business. We're not even here.

There you go, dude. And remember, your mayor, who watches constantly, loves you.

Wha- what happened? Did it work?

You didn't register on the blasters' scanners.

So that means... I'm goin ghost! I said goin' ghost. Haha. It worked! I don't have my ghost powers anymore! I'm normal again. Isn't that awesome?

Yeah.

Great

Thrilling

Oh, come on, you guys, don't you realize what this means?

Yeah, that you're just an average, every day not special human again.

Oh, come on, Sam. think of how great this is gonna be. I won't have to fight ghosts anymore. Now we can all just be normal teenagers and hang out as much as we want.

Yeah. Normal rocks.

Hey, if it's what you wanted, then I'm glad for you, man.

It is, thanks.

Looks like we'll have to find other things to occupy our time, huh?

Looks like.

There's this new Masters' Blasters video game we can play. It's cool. You hunt ghosts. See ya.

I really can't believe you did that. It feels like a lost a good friend. Someone I was just starting to get to know.

Why is everyone but me bummed about this? Danny Phantom's not needed anymore. From now on, Danny Fenton is just a nice, normal kid from a nice, normal family. Now let's go get Mom & Dad out of jail.

Thanks for getting us out of jail, kids. I knew there must have been some sort of mistake.

I was never worried. I was this close to tunneling us out of there with my trusty ice cream spoon, but then they served ice cream, so, well... you know.

By the way Danny, I think it's cute what you've done to your hair.

Yeah. Kinda reminds me of the band I was in back in the 80s. The Skunk Punks.

The Skunk Punks Stink?

Yeah we walked right into that one.

Um, you guys head on home. It's such a nice normal day that I thought I'd kinda walk around and be, you know, normal.

Alright. Just be normally careful. Bye bye.

Don't worry. I plan on being careful for a long, long time.

And it's been another busy day for Mayor Master's Masters' Blasters, who are now charging a small fee to cover their growing expenses.

Yes, quality ghost fighting is getting very expensive these days. Time, equipment, storage, it all adds up. And since that cowardly Danny Phantom disappeared, not that he ever was helpful, there's no one else in town to assist us. Oh there are certainly a few crack pots out there, who think they have what it takes, but they only get in our way. It seems that when it comes to fighting ghosts we're the only game in town. And I do so love games. I-I mean...have a nice day.

Ah this is the life. Just sitting around, not fighting ghosts with my totally ordinary pals. Could you pass me a corndog? Sam. Wait! There's no reason to get mad the corndogs are made of tofu.

I'm not mad about corndogs. You're not you anymore. You're just a normal kid. And a selfish one at that.

How am I selfish? Because I don't want to endanger the people I care about the most?

Danny don't you get it? Your powers gave you a chance to change things. A chance that no one else had, and I was thrilled to help you. But now you're just one of the crowd again.

What's wrong with that?

Everything. You got to fight ghosts after school while other kids fought acne. And you don't seem to care what you gave up.

I care. I just care about you and my family more.

When you had your powers I knew that this town was protected from evil. But now, who knows where we're headed. I'll always be your friend Danny, and I'll always be there for you. But I can't live life just sitting on the sidelines. I'm surprised you think you can.

Blech. Tofu.

How dare they serve veggie burgers today?! And how dare you students eat them?!

Aaah! Somebody help!

No more sitting on the sidelines. Hang on Dash-

Masters' Blasters stop disasters.

Chill dude.

What's with you, Fenton? Who do you think you are? Danny Phantom. You guys are the coolest ghost fighters ever.

Thanks dude. That'll be three hundred bucks.

I'm going ghost! 

There, there dear. So the ghost portal exploded. It's not the end of the world. You can always make another one.

I don't want another one. That portal and I have been through a lot together. And all because I wanted to download music faster. Oh curse me. And my impatience.

We interrupt this program to bring you breaking news from the universal observatory.

Earlier today our stellar readings indicated that a massive asteroid is hurdling across the solar system.

Where its trajectory will send it crashing directly into the Earth.

If immediate action is not taken our entire planet will be completely destroyed.

We estimate we have one week before impact.

The fate of the human race is at stake. One week. Use it wisely.

News of the approaching asteroid, which some are now calling the Disasteroid, circulates around the globe. Countries are combining their greatest technologies to stop the oncoming threat. Sadly it appear that our best may not be good enough. And speaking of not good enough, let's go live to Fenton Works.

Thanks, Shelly. I'm here ringside where a privately funded mission to stop the Disasteroid is underway.

I can't believe I'm just sitting here at a computer console when I should be out there stopping this. And I really can't believe we have to do this with him.

We would have never been able to get this mission up and running so fast if he hadn't paid for everything. So at least until the world is saved, chill.

How's it going young man?

Uh. My dad Jack Fenton is piloting our new--

--My new.

Fenton Rocket. And is on his way to destroy the asteroid.

He looks very serious about his mission.

You'd be serious too if you had to eat this freaky astronaut food. Freeze dried yam smelt surprise. What the heck is that?

With me now is Amity Park's mayor Vlad Masters. I understand you've sent in your own team of experts.

Oh yes. Seeing as the world is in jeopardy, I felt that the Masters' Blasters presence was an absolute necessity. Plus, think of how well their action figures will sell.

Dad. Mission status?

Reading seismic drill charges. Now!

Detonation in three. Two. One.

Everyone cheers.

Ha! I knew we could do it. There isn't a rock anywhere that could outsmart Jack Fenton.

That's the Disasteroid. You had us blow up the wrong one, you idiot.

But I-I couldn't have. Vladdie punches in the asteroid's coordinates for me. Yam smelt surprise?

That…that was our last chance.

Oops. Looks like I set the wrong coordinates. Silly me. You know how bad I can be with computers. Looks like your father has failed once again, and when I time needs a hero the most.

At least he tried, Vlad. What have you done except send others to do your work for you?

And where are you Danny Phantom? It looks like my plan to shame you into hiding was even more effective than I could have hoped.

I'm just getting word that scientists now know that the Disasteroid originated from the rings of Saturn two weeks ago.

Saturn? Your satellite exploded. That's what moved the asteroid. You're the one who caused this catastrophe.

Defeating you was just the first act of my little show. Get ready for act two.

Tell me again, why are we here?

Because we've got to see what Vlad's up to. He says he's got new that will impact the entire world.

Citizens of the Earth. I have news that will impact the entire world. Though every attempt at destroying the Disasteroid has failed, I come to you today offering an alternative solution. One I think you will find most surprising.

No!

I did not see that coming.

Yes, though I use my human half to walk among you, it is obvious that I am a far superior creature.

Who are you?

Though the world has come to know me as Vlad Masters billionaire mayor of Amity Park, I prefer you call me by my chosen slightly more evil name…Vlad Plasmius.

Vlad's a ghost?

I have a proposition to make. The nations of the world must agree unanimously to pay be five hundred billion dollars and make me absolute ruler. In return I shall use my ghost powers

To destroy the Disasteroid?

No. To turn it intangible.

Evil. But ingenious. That way it'll just pass harmlessly through the Earth.

It's your choice world. Be destroyed or me saved. Oh, and ruled by me. I eagerly await your decision.

What happens now?

Looks like we either change the name of the Earth to Vladsylvania, or I somehow figure a way out of this mess.

And that concludes act two of what I like to call one nation under Vlad. On to the finale.

How could you hold the world hostage like that Vladdie? And after the good fortune you've had in your life.

Good fortune?! You infect me with ghost DNA then steal the love of my life and you call that good fortune?

I infected you? You mean…

Yes fool. It was your bumbling that made me what I am today. But, I suppose I should be saying thank you. For without you I wouldn't be moments away from becoming ruler of the Earth.

I never meant to hurt you. What happened was an accident. I'm your friend, Vladdie. I've always been your friend. I even voted for you!

I'll remember that when I steal Maddie from you and make her my queen.

Asteroid contact in five hundred meters oh future ruler of the Earth.

Ah. No. No. No! What is the meaning of this?

Asteroid composed entirely of the unique anti-ghost element ecto-ranium. Ecto-ranium. Ecto-ranium.

Ecto-ranium? Then I can never touch it. No ghost can. That means…the Earth is doomed. And even if it wasn't I could never go back. I've revealed…my true self. I'll be forever hunted. Jack, you have to help me. You wouldn't turn your back on an old friend, would you?

An old friend? No. You? Yes.

Jack!

What are we gonna do?

What if we don't make the asteroid intangible?

Then it would obliterate the Earth

Not if we made the Earth intangible.

The whole Earth? Intangible? Are you kidding?

Yeah you'd need like a bazillion ghosts to do that.

Behold…the addresses of a bazillion ghosts.

Now that's the Danny I know. So much for sitting on the sidelines, huh?

But how are we going to get into the Ghost Zone? Your portal is ruined and we're never gonna get near Vlad's place now that everyone knows who he really is.

I've got it covered. Come on. The Infi-map can lead us into any entrance into the Ghost Zone anywhere on the Earth. And according to the map one's about to open right here.

Now I know how my chili fries feel.

I-I don't believe--

Believe it Jazz. Welcome to the Ghost Zone. Sort of a Ghosts R' Us.

But all the shelves are empty. Where the heck is everybody?

What's going on?

Foolish of you to come here in your human form ghost child. Seeking refuge in the Ghost Zone like all the others?

What others?

All these ghosts! They returned here because you humans put your world in danger. Now the Ghost Zone is bursting at the seams.

But it's the flip side of our world. If the Earth gets destroyed, the Ghost Zone goes, too.

You guys get into the escape pod.

But Danny…

Activate cloaking.

It's not enough you destroy your own world, now you have to destroy ours, too?

Wait. You don't under--

Fire!

You just made a big mistake. Well gang, there's good news and bad news. Good news my powers are back. Bad news…my powers are back!

Danny! It's you! Well, it was always you, but…

I know what you mean Sam. Thanks.

Those ghosts are going to come back and something tells me they're not gonna be too happy about helping us.

You're right. We better get out of here until we've got this thing figured out.

If we went into the billboard's mouth I don't wanna know where we're coming out.

Danny Phantom is back. After a strange absence the teen ghost fighter has returned with a message for the world.

Uh, hello there. I have a plan that could save us all from the asteroid. And this one is absolutely free. How great is that?

If ghosts can't touch the asteroid, then how are you gonna stop it?

Because we're not gonna turn the asteroid intangible, we're gonna turn the Earth intangible.

Ahem. Ladies, gentlemen, various nations and stuff. My name is Tucker Foley and I…am a Techno Geek.

Hi Tucker!

Dudes. The new plan is very simple. With a strong enough ghostly power source and a big enough transfer device, we can send the ghost intangibility across the entire planet. This way the Disasteroid will pass harmlessly through.

That's the plan. Who's with us?

They never put that much effort into their school work.

Tucker Foley will lead the construction team in building the transfer device while Jack and Maddie Fenton's team will spread the transfer cables across the globe. If we all come together, not as separate nations but as one world, we can do this.

Not bad, huh? Now all we need is a massive ghost power source. You sure you don't want us to go with you?

I'm sure. I can move faster on my own. By the way, where do mom and dad think Danny Fenton is right now anyway.

With them. I redressed the Tuckbot 9000 to look and act like you. They'll never know the difference.

Nothing like saving the world with your old man, eh Danny?

Comment does not compute.

Your voice is changing already? Man they grow up so fast.

Gotta go. According to the map a portal is gonna open up over the pole any minute now.

See ya back here soon little brother. And thanks.

It's the ring you were gonna give Valerie. You asked me to hold it, remember? Something tells me it was really meant for me. Take it with you, but promise to bring it back. If you promise, then…then I know I'll see you again.

I-if we make it through this.

When we make it through this.

Right. When we make it through this. I have a few things I need to talk to you about.

I think I'd be willing to listen. And no matter how this thing ends, this whole ride we've been on together, I wouldn't change it for the world. Not one bit.

Me neither. I--. Wow. Remind me to save the world more often.

Go.

Right on cue. Atomic batteries to power. Turbines to speed. One ghost power source coming up. Okay. One down. Ninety six bazillion to go. Awesome! I think this is gonna work.

Auto eject.

What?

We warned you once, ghost brat.

Wait let me explain. Our worlds are linked. If mine goes yours goes, too. I have a plan. Look, I know you hate my world and wouldn't lift a finger to help it, but I thought you might care about saving your own.

He's coming back!

Danny. No.

He…he can't be.

It's coming!

Listen, I just want you all to know that…I love you. And I'm so proud of each and every one of you for trying your best.

We love you too, dad.

At least we're all together.

I…oh mom. There's something you need to know.

A robot? Where's Danny? Jazz where's your brother? Jack, where's Danny?

Look! The portal!

I still can't believe you guys agreed to help me. Looks like there is a heart under all cyber armor.

Don't get too sentimental. We're not here to save you, we're here to save us.

Let's just get this party started. Tucker. How. Much. Longer?

Now!

Where's the asteroid?

Phew.

Awesome.

Nice job, little brother. Or should I say…hero.

I don't know what to say other than, thanks Skulker.

Don't get too mushy on us, ghost child. Remember, I'll never stop hunting you. And now that you've saved your world, you're a much more valuable prize.

Nice job, Danny. Or should we say, Danny...

What? Uh. Sorry citizens, but I have no idea what you're talking about.

Isn't there something you wanna tell us?

It's okay, Danny. They know.

Citizens of Amity Park and of the world. As the youngest mayor in Amity Park history, it's my great honor to present this commemorative statue honoring the hero who bravely saved us all, Danny Phantom. An exact duplicate of this statue stands proudly in the capital of every nation of the world. And each will stand for as long as we have our world, because thanks to Danny Phantom, we still have one.

I still wonder how Danny was able to fool us for so long.

Good question, but I gotta admit, he was good. After all, it's nearly impossible to fool me. Isn't that right, Danny?

Affirmative, father.

That's my boy.

Where the heck are Danny and Sam?

I don't know. He said he had some unfinished business to attend to.

I can't believe you didn't want to attend your own ceremony.

Eh, you know me. I kinda like sitting on the sidelines sometimes.

And your folks are cool with knowing your secret identity?

Yeah. The time for secrets is over. The world is safe, time for new beginnings. My dad says he even wants me to team up with him now. Says I can be his sidekick.

You're a big star now. Probably the biggest in the world.

Yeah. It's weird, huh?

You'll probably get pretty busy.

What else is new?

And I probably won't see much of you anymore.

Oh, I wouldn't count on that. Sam, I could never have done any of this without you. And I don't care what's coming next I just hope that whatever it is, you're there to share it with me.

I will be. I just have to warn you, I'm no push over you know. I still have my own way of doing things.

That's what I'm counting on.

Actually, being a free roaming space nomad isn't half bad. At least it's quiet and I--

What do you say, wanna go for a ride? See where the future takes us?

Why not? Cool statue. Personally I would have made it out of recycled materials but, you know, that's just me.

[kudosmyhero]

The Spectacular Spider-Man (vol. 1) #180: The Child Within, pt. 3 - Shame

Read Date: October 28, 2022 Cover Date: September 1991 ● Writer: J.M. DeMatteis ● Penciler: Sal Buscema ● Inker: Sal Buscema ● Colorist: Bob Sharen ● Letterer: Rick Parker ● Editor: Danny Fingeroth ●

Synopsis: Having fled into the sewers, the Vermin thinks back to his sessions with Ashley Kafka. She was continuing to learn more about the Vermin's true identity, Edward and the abuse he suffered as a child. When she asks him about what happened when he goes to sleep, Vermin starts to become violent and is about to attack her, but Kafka manages to talk him down. With his recollection over, Vermin floats in the putrid waters of the sewers. He calls out to Doctor Kafka for help. He then pictures the young child he found in the sewers earlier. Suddenly, the child appears on his chest. The pair then begins to cry out for help in unison.

The Vermin is not the only one hallucinating this night. Going through his family photos, Harry Osborn is being haunted by the specters of an unmasked Spider-Man and his father, Norman Osborn, the original Green Goblin. Harry discovered Peter's double-identity and briefly became the Green Goblin himself over the course of Amazing Spider-Man #123–137. Harry's memories of Peter's double identity were suppressed through therapy until he started becoming the Green Goblin again, remembering Peter is Spider-Man in Web of Spider-Man #67. He goes over his family photo album, coming upon photos of Harry growing up with his mother. When he claims that it he grow up in a normal family, the Spider-Man hallucination scoffs at this. The next set of photos are of Harry and his father as he grew up without his mother. The specter of Norman questions why his son wants to dig up unpleasant memories. Harry can't take it anymore and tells them both to leave him alone. However, the ghosts still won't keep silent. Eventually, he has enough of Peter's criticisms and lunges at the apparition. Norman cheers his son on, but Harry stops himself when the hallucination of Peter Parker reminds him that his father murdered Gwen. When Harry confronts Norman with this truth, the apparition becomes indignant and grabs Harry by the throat. Norman cannot believe his son would side with the man who killed him. Upon saying this, the apparition begins bleeding through his chest and drops dead. That's when the hallucination of Spider-Man admits that Norman is right, that Harry is a whiner. Becoming more unhinged than ever before, the separation disappears and Harry angrily rips his family album apart.

Meanwhile, the real Spider-Man, has returned to the cemetery where his Uncle Ben and parents have been buried. He soon leaves, wondering why he went to visit the graves alone as they bring up so many memories of guilt. With Vermin still on the loose, Spider-Man can't get the reassurances he needed from the dead so he pays a visit to Aunt May's home in Queens. As Aunt May sleeps, the wall-crawler lands on the roof and just being in near proximity of his aunt is all it takes to set his mind at ease enough so he can decide what to do. While back below the sewers, the Vermin is reading the story of Hansel and Grettle to the young boy. As he tells the story, the Vermin is suddenly accosted by visions of the young boy about to be molested in his bedroom by an adult. Suddenly, the fear washes upon him again. At that same moment, Ashley Kafka is watching another recorded session she had with Vermin. In it, Vermin wonders why a woman won't hear his screams. Ashley told Vermin that she hears his cries. At first, the creature thinks that this woman is his mother. However, he is quickly reminded who she is and she vows that she will make sure he remains safe forever. Watching herself on video, Ashley wonders where she went wrong in trying to treat Edward. She is suddenly frightened when she spots a mouse in her office, thinking it is one of Vermin's rats coming to attack her again. Realizing what she is actually looking at, she is relieved.

At that same moment, Harry Osborn walks into his son Normie's room. After running his fingers through the boy's hair, he then goes to the room he shares with his wife Liz. There, he kisses her as she sleeps before leaving. By this point, Spider-Man arrives on the rooftop, about to return to the apartment he rents above the Osborns. Before he can enter the skylight, his spider-sense begins going off. He turns around to see Harry Osborn -- dressed in the Green Goblin costume -- rushing at him. Spider-Man dodges the Goblin's opening salvo. At first, Spider-Man thinks that Harry is tried his hand at being a super-hero again, but is quickly corrected when Osborn explains that he has come to avenge the death of his father. The Green Goblin then decides to change the scene of the battle and flies off. When Spider-Man catches up, he tries to convince Harry to that he is having another breakdown, just as he did when he became the Green Goblin the first time. At first, it appears that Peter is getting through to his friend, but this is only a distraction so the Goblin can get close enough to attack. He manages to toss a pumpkin bomb filled with knock out gas that eventually takes down Spider-Man. The Goblin decides that when he wakes up it will no longer be a battle between Spider-Man and the Green Goblin. Removing both their masks, Harry intends this to be a battle between Parker and Osborn.

(https://marvel.fandom.com/wiki/Spectacular_Spider-Man_Vol_1_180)

Harry, MJ, and Peter from Spider-Man (PS4)

Accompanying Podcast: ● Untold Talks of Spider-Man - episode 08

[ashintheairlikesnow]

I’m sure he means well enough, but uh, Jake rubs me the wrong way. Maybe it’s the savior complex. He doesn’t really have a life outside of the Safehouse. We saw the fight with his mom, about him not having a “real” career. Like he literally devotes all his time, energy and resources into this. Why? What does he get out of it other than personal satisfaction? I think he loves the idea that people need him.

It could be the hypocrisy of “not” sleeping with pets. After being so adamant about it this whole time and then to go for the sluttiest pet that shows up? Kinda sus, tbh! Like not even just Kauri, like one would be an exception, I guess, but also I know he wasn’t like “sleeping” sleeping with Chris but I think the bed sharing is kinda just.... no. Would deffffff be against HR regulations lol.

Maybe it’s just because we are supposed to like him, I dunno man. Don’t take it personally! I love your the rest of your characters and all of your stories and I think you are a fantastic writer! But Jake makes me want to pull my hair out.

Hey, Anon! I appreciate this comment, and I hope you weren’t worried that I would be mad or anything. While every writer kind of has the “oh no but that’s my son” response, I actually really enjoy seeing how people see my OCs and their actions over the course of a story. 

Heads-up, I ramble a lot and this got long

Jake definitely does have a savior complex, and it’s rooted in his childhood abuse by his father and his sense that the people who could have helped (family, friends, community) chose not to, and instead simply stood by while he and his mother fought alone to find a way out. As a young adult getting into pet lib, he found a place to channel his innate need to NOT be the person who sits by and does nothing, and he definitely throws himself headlong into it.

It’s less about the rescues needing him, and more about him needing to feel like he’s building something out of the wreckage of his own early life, something better. That he’s MAKING something better for other people than what he himself had, providing the support that he didn’t receive, giving the care that he struggled to even admit he needed.

Jake’s not perfect, but he’s not enjoying the dependence on him - far from it. He is, though, trying to sort of change the timeline for other people so it won’t look as much like his own.

As far as not having a life outside of his work, that’s very true! Not only is he working full-time and living in the safehouse, he is also going to school with the specific intention of gaining skills and knowledge to run a safehouse himself (which he eventually does) and provide even more advocacy for the rescues, who often aren’t safe to speak up for themselves. In the Speak Out arc, which I’m kind of easing into now, you’ll see Jake struggle with the push and pull of knowing that, long-term, keeping these secrets isn’t as much help as the rescues deserve, and knowing that speaking out could have even more ruinous results.

t could be the hypocrisy of “not” sleeping with pets. After being so adamant about it this whole time and then to go for the sluttiest pet that shows up? Kinda sus, tbh! Like not even just Kauri, like one would be an exception, I guess, but also I know he wasn’t like “sleeping” sleeping with Chris but I think the bed sharing is kinda just.... no. Would deffffff be against HR regulations lol.

When Jake and Kauri meet, they are 23-24ish and 21-22 respectively (more or less- I change my mind on the exact numbers now and then, just go with it). When their long-running friendship and pining eventually becomes a relationship, Jake is nearly 30, and Kauri not far behind. The interim seven years or so involved a lot of change for them both, and Kauri himself changed a lot. I don’t write this chronologically and I really haven’t done enough to develop Jake’s changes, too! I can see why it’s weird to read it, thinking through the lens of early, vulnerable Kauri. But as @whumpiary I think said at one point, at some point a person is not defined by their tragedy or trauma and can define themself. Kauri defines himself, with time, and it’s strength for him to reach out and take Jake’s hand.

(For the record, I kind of hissed through my teeth at describing Kauri as slutty in a way that’s pretty judgy, only to have Kauri’s response be, “So what if I am? I’m having fun” because... well, Kauri gonna Kauri and he is ~unbothered~)

I do bristle a little at the platonic bed sharing with Chris. Chris comes out of things deeply dehumanized and degraded, and seeking out the comfort of someone when he is scared at night is actually pretty important to him. Jake isn’t pushing him on that at all. Chris also pursues similar behavior with Antoni - and also Nat! - when Jake isn’t around for some time, and it becomes less and less common and eventually stops entirely as Chris becomes more solid, steady, and stable with therapy and rebuilding his life.

Also, I love the idea of the most harried Linda in the world working at safehouse HR.

THAT SAID

I totally see the validity in not liking him! People have had similar feelings about Nate Vandrum in Danny’s story because of his initial passivity and not doing anything to help (Danny actually hates Nate for a while, too, during early captivity, and ooooh I should write out some of that). 

Please don’t take my rambling as trying to make you like him, I’m totally not, I just love the excuse to ramble about character motivations and internal thought processes and whatnot.

I found this ask really interesting (I woke up to it and I’ve been thinking it over ever since) and appreciate you sending your honest thoughts!

[rosy-cheekx]

"Don’t do that. don’t shut me out” and / or “We can talk through the door” - from the trauma sentence starters :)

Okay so this started as a one-off but, as usual, it spiraled outwards! The actual line will be in the next chapter. (That’s right, this bitch has two chapters! AND A PERSPECTIVE SHIFT)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/28201191/chapters/69105681

-

It had been hard for Martin to adjust, after the Lonely, after the months of spiraling into the quiet, cold dark, imprisoned in an ever-expanding labyrinth of his own isolation. A therapist he had years ago told him it takes three weeks to manifest a habit, and in the months without his mum, without Jon, Sasha, Tim, god without even Elias to irritate his last fraying nerve, he had time to form hundreds of new habits, his habits of loneliness.

When Peter had given him Elias’ old office, under the guise of space, focus, and mental health (Martin could spit at that looking back, the cruel irony), the room had been rearranged. The desk, which had previously sat in the center of the room, with two slightly uncomfortable chairs positioned in front of it, chairs Martin had been eager to burn in celebration of his new space, had been rearranged. The room was starkly empty, the chairs removed on his behalf, and the desk had been moved to the side of the room, out of view of the door and in fact behind the hinges, so the door swung open in front of his desk, blocking anyone who may sneak a peek in his office a view of him at work. After a while, it was natural to be in the corner of a room closest to the hinges; where the coatrack or a rubbish bin would typically be, there instead was Martin Blackwood, comfortable, solitary. Alone.

The habits expanded outside of the office. Soon enough he was shopping at markets in the quietest hours: during the airings of football matches, at the early-morning markets, at two in the morning because he couldn’t sleep, couldn’t get warm under his duvet. His warm conversations with cashiers and barkers turned to solemn nods and gruff thank-yous, the refreshing smiles they associated with the sweater-clad figure reduced to slow blinks and nods of acknowledgement, and then not even that. They didn’t even wonder what had happened to that nice auburn-haired man who worked “down the street at the old spooky building, did-you-hear-about-those-worms?” Even takeout was too much to bear. The nights where leaving his flat was unconscionable, his delivery requests would always add, “leave outside the flat, tip is under the doormat.”

His neighbors didn’t remember him after a while. Mabel, the kind woman who lived across from him, introduced herself to him, asked when he moved in. Eventually she stopped noticing this new auburn man she hadn’t seen before. Hadn’t seen at all, actually. No one lived across the hall from her, not in her memory. And she had an excellent memory, didn’t-you-know? It was all those crosswords.

Martin started locking his doors. That had been after Jon had returned. He knew that distinctly. Most of these habits loomed over his life slowly, like an ever-expanding fog, until he didn’t realize where they had begun, but the doors? That was a choice.

He wasn’t one for locks overall; his childhood home had forbidden them, save for the exterior doors. It hadn’t bothered him back then, though, and as he grew up and out of the shadow of his mother it never occurred to him that he could just shut people out like that. So easy, so simple, but so unnecessary for so long. Martin was the one breaking down those barriers, especially at the Institute. Getting Sasha to talk about her anger when they first moved into the Archives, her quiet confession that she had wanted that job for so long, had been told by Gertrude she was a promising candidate. That had been fixed with a cup of tea and the promise that he would support her if she wanted to quit, but that it seemed like Tim needed her, Jon too. Getting Tim to open up about Danny, his sorrow that had been simmering so long under the surface, a grief Martin didn’t quite know how to fathom. But he tried, with comforting touches and warm voice, trying to ease Tim back from the precipice over which he had been hovering. Not enough. Never enough. Even Jon had begun to be kinder to him, after Prentiss, after Martin had proven he wasn’t a waste of space in the Archives, begun to be honest and open about his take on the weird things they experienced here. He had even texted him rather frequently, towards the end, updating him on his trip to America and of the occasional sights that caught his eye (‘In Pittsburgh they put chips on sandwiches and salads, Martin, look at this! Image_0102 attached’ Even in text, his grammar was impeccable.) But after Jon recovered from his coma, lapse with death, whatever it had been, Martin had been too far gone. He couldn’t risk Jon bursting in, bothering him, worrying and fussing. So he’d called in a locksmith to install the simple bolt, enough to stop a distracted, harried Archivist (who had never quite learned it was polite to knock) from bursting into his office at all hours.

But after all that, after the Lonely and Peter Lukas and “look at me and tell me what you see,” it was hard to break the achingly comfortable habits. For the first few days in Scotland, Martin didn’t really remember what had happened. While out of the domain itself, he was still trapped in its cloying embrace, and everything felt too real, too looming, too much; it had been easy to slip into silence for hours in Daisy’s safehouse. Too easy to pull the fog around him and watch himself sit, drawn up behind the door, as he watched and listened and waited for Jon to forget about him. It had never happened though. No matter how many hiding places he found, cold and dark and solitary, Jon always found him, blanket and tea in tow (always a little too sweet for Martin’s liking), and his scalding embrace was enough to drag him back to reality, shivering and sweating, whispering apologies.

-

They needed supplies. Daisy had left behind plenty of MREs in her pantry, stuff they could theoretically rely on, but it was all very basic nutritionary needs and both Martin and Jon were vegetarians, (more or less, Martin had stopped eating red meat as a teenager and Jon entirely after working in the Archives) and the dehydrated pasta alfredo was gone, seemingly the only vegetarian item in Daisy’s stock. Martin hadn’t even tried to touch the canned fruit, the orange-yellow of the peaches haunting him.

Martin suspected it was also a desperate attempt for the pair to practice feeling normal again. To be just two friends? Companions? Coworkers? Boyfriends? people stocking up their fridge and going on with a normal, non-horror filled life. A secluded, bare safehouse was certainly not helping them adjust any quicker, though neither man had dared leave quite yet, be it the risk of losing what little security they had accrued here or the inability to leave the other alone quite yet.

“Is-Do you know if it’s busy today?” Martin had asked, trying desperately to shape his voice into calm curiosity.

Jon considered the question for a minute, expression soft, and dear lord Martin wasn’t sure he would ever get used to the way Jon’s shadows seemed to darken and solidify when he Learned, his whole form shifting in and out of focus imperceptibly like the background was blending into him and not the other way round, the way Martin was accustomed.

“Mm, not bad. No one interesting. A couple families shopping for the week, twelve customers, four employees, total-oh, fourteen, mum and son just walked in…” Martin’s eyebrow was raised. “Ah,” Jon cleared his throat. “Sorry. Fourteen people. If that’s too many, I can go by myself, you know. I’m not going to force you.”

“N-no, no. I should go. Exposure therapy, right?”

Jon had smiled warmly and tentatively rested a hand on Martin’s shoulder, before sliding the hand, scarred and calloused, to squeeze Martin’s own cold one.

-

The grocery was small, a locally run place playing tinny jazz through the speakers. As Martin stepped through the doors with Jon, he was struck by how warm it was in the store. He could feel the prickle of anxiety burning under his skin, bringing a flush to his cheeks. He could hear the whine of the electric lights piercing his skull and settling behind his eyes. He gripped the trolley’s handle tight, firmly keeping his eyes forward. He was fine, he could do this.

Martin was not fine. They had worked their way through the aisles quickly, Jon using his Knowledge to figure out where every item they needed had been located. Martin was on autopilot, quietly steering the cart and flinching when anyone came to close to him. The heat of life was radiating off everyone in the store, even Jon, and it was scalding, blinding, debilitating. He hadn’t noticed Jon asking him a question until, Jon carefully, gingerly, brought his hand to hover near Martin’s cheek, not touching, just waiting for a response.

“Martin?” he heard distantly, calling him back to reality, where fog didn’t drift over the aisles and the soft rush of waves didn’t echo in his ears.

“-mm?” The hand was gone, his skin tingled with the rush of cold returning to his face. He wished it would come back, to hold his face and promise it would be alright.

“I was wondering what tea you wanted to buy? I’m no expert and I know you have your preferences. I miss-” Jon cleared his throat. “I’ve missed your tea in the Archives. All the staff drank coffee after you left. Disgusting.”

Tea. This was something Martin could do. He took a step away from the trolley, his life raft, and studied the aisles, trying to will his mind to focus.

Tea, tea, tea. Rooibos and chamomile for sleepless nights. Herbal for variety. Jon likes caffeinated teas. Maybe some chai? That’ll be good when it gets really cold…god how long will we be here? Through winter? Forever? He could stay here forever if it meant Jon was there too.

He grabbed a couple of boxes of familiar brands, throwing them in the trolley, as well as whatever felt familiar, what he’d usually pick up.  

“I thought you didn’t like oolong.”

Martin frowned, glancing down at the box in his hand. “I don’t. Uh, force of habit I guess.” He set the box back quickly, as if it was burning his hand. “M’mum liked it so I would pick it up for her. Guess its been a while…” he trailed off, uncertain of what he was about to say. He’s bought tea since she died, hasn’t he?

He thinks back, through all his months in Elias’s office and at home.

Oh. Guess not.

Had he really not drunk tea at all? God, he had really changed more than he thought under the influence of Peter. Tea had been such a staple of his life, his personality, he was the one dragging Jon and Sasha and Tim to teahouses for his birthday and insisting he make a cuppa for everyone on the days that felt too dark. The last time he could remember holding a warm cup of tea in his hands was when he was sitting at Jon’s bedside in the hospital, reading him Keats in the desperate hope he would hate it so much he would wake up, even if just to scold his assistant.

Martin knew serving The Lonely had changed him. But here, in the aisle of a Scottish grocery, he was realizing how entirely debased he had become. Was he even Martin Blackwood anymore?

Martin blinked to see the grocery around him cloaked in fog. No, that wasn’t right. He was cloaked in fog. The world was a pale blue-grayscale, slightly translucent. He hadn’t been here in a while but the cool balm over his anxiety settled like cool cloth and he felt distantly quiet. Calm.  He left the store in a haze and began the slow trudge up to the safehouse. Jon wasn’t here in this place, which was probably for the best. Martin couldn’t hurt him here, couldn’t burden him with whatever pesky emotions he had felt in the grocery, whatever they had been. They were a distant memory now, oolong and guilt.

-

By the time Martin had hiked up the hill to the safehouse, he felt safe enough to leave the Lonely, and felt the cool numbness drift off him like steam as the world sharpened around him. With the world came the sharp sting of his realization came with it; the understanding that he wasn’t the same person he had been when he had said goodbye to Tim, Melanie, and Jon, and certainly not the same person he had been when he had backed through the doors to the Institute and let that dog in, what felt like decades ago now.

Martin Blackwood let the door swing shut behind him as he made his way inside, hearing the rumble of Jon’s car rolling up the gravel driveway. He moved quickly through the house, looking desperately for a place to escape as he heard the faint call of his name outside. He couldn’t-he just couldn’t talk to Jon right now; he didn’t know how to explain how betrayed he felt and by on fault but his own. The closest room was the bathroom, dark and clean, and pressed back against the door as he clicked the door shut, turning the latch on the door.

Click.

The bolt slid into the mechanism of the door frame, and that sound was what sent Martin spiraling.

he was alone he was alone he was alone.

[lexosaurus]

Everything Was White: Part 9

part [1] / [8]

read on: [ao3] [ffnet]

---

Danny glared at the space where his hand should have been, concentrating on the light tingles that ran throughout his fingers like tiny electric beads of energy. He felt the current in his fingers waver, and his hand flickered back into visibility.

That was no good. He pulled his eyebrows tighter together, willing his hand back out of the visible spectrum. 

Danny sighed in relief and allowed his arm to fall to his side. He closed his eyes, and his body relaxed into the soft carpet below him. He could feel the stress leaking from his muscles. Even his chest, which seemed constantly at war against his fried nerve endings, felt at ease.

Much better.

Danny couldn’t remember ever feeling so fake . He spent the whole day with his core under lock and key—feeling physically more human than ever—yet surrounded by teens who couldn’t see him as anything more than Phantom.

The rest of his day at the PHP had been even worse than Danny thought it would be. With each new therapy came a new opportunity for the therapists to try to get Danny to open up. And when that happened, so did the stares and the tense silences which made him very much not want to speak, but then if he didn’t speak he would have to return to inpatient, but that resulted in more stress which caused his voice to clam up and then he was stuck right where he started.

His physical therapy session hadn’t come soon enough, and when Danny finally got to the clinic, he made sure to push himself as hard as his body would allow and then some. His physical therapist had commended him on the “great day,” but Danny couldn’t help but feel disappointed.

No matter what, it wasn’t enough. He wasn’t enough.

Because he was still trapped.

Footsteps sounded from the staircase. He bolted upright and glanced at his wheelchair beside him. 

This was bad. This was really bad. The government was back and he had no way of escaping.

Goddamnit, if only his parents had given him access to his core, he could phase out of here and fly away. But he couldn’t do that now. He could hardly keep his fingers invisible for over a minute without breaking a sweat.

He made motions towards his chair as a plan formed in his head. A very ill-formulated plan—one that was sure to cause him to lose a few teeth—but a plan nonetheless. But just as he touched the wheels of his chair, his door flung open.

He turned, fully prepared to use what little muscular strength he’d managed to build up in his legs to launch himself over to his captors, but he froze.

The people at the door weren’t tall men in white suits and black sunglasses. There were no ecto-guns pointed at his face. There was no glowing green inhibitor ready to be clasped onto his neck.

It was Sam and Tucker, staring shyly at him in a way that reminded him of how they used to act around each other before they truly became friends.

“Hey, Danny.” Sam gave him a small wave.

“Oh.” Danny dropped his hold on his wheelchair. “Hey. Hi, guys.”

For a moment, no one said anything. Sam stared at him with eyes that were progressively getting shinier by the second, and Tucker stood with his mouth hanging open, as if he couldn’t believe Danny was there.

Danny fidgeted. There was so much unsaid emotion happening. The atmosphere was suffocating, and suddenly Danny was hyper aware of how uncomfortably he was sitting. He shifted so his legs were crisscrossed under each other and placed his arms in his lap. Maybe that would solve it. Maybe his posture was the source of his discomfort.

“Dude,” Tucker said. “Holy shit.”

“I—yeah, uh…”

Tucker shook his head. “You look...damn, what the hell did they feed you in there?”

The red package flashed in his mind, and Danny felt the blood drain from his face.

He wanted to snap at Tucker, to shout that he wasn’t a dog and turn invisible because he hadn’t seen his friends in weeks and the first thing they were going to bring up was his biggest point of shame and destruction in his life? Something so embarrassing that he hadn’t told anyone about it?

Oh. Wait.

If he hadn’t told anyone about it, then Sam and Tucker wouldn’t know about it either. He was safe, then, and Tucker wouldn’t have been referencing that thing. So then what was Tucker talking about?

He creased his eyebrows and looked down at his hands. He didn’t think he looked any different than usual. Even though the Guys in White had forced him to consume... that, it hadn’t drastically altered his appearance in the same way that his eyes would give off a light glow if he accidentally ate one of his mom’s ectoplasm-infused dinners in human form. 

His arm looked the same. It was a little thin, and his skin was a little pale, but it looked like a normal human arm. There were no globs of ectoplasm dripping from his skin, no inhuman glow encasing his form, nothing. It was just a normal arm.

He must have looked lost, because Sam supplied, “You look really healthy, Danny.”

Oh. 

Right.

He was reading too far into this. The last time Sam and Tucker had seen Danny, he was so underweight the doctors told him it was a miracle his organs were still functioning. He was on a special high-calorie diet filled with vanilla protein shakes, all with the goal of helping him regain what he lost.

It seemed like so long ago now, but it had only been a month since Danny had seen anyone outside the hospital. And so much had changed in that time.

“Oh...um, thanks?” He said, peeking at his friends from under his bangs. “I—uh...they had these...the protein—protein shakes. Made me drink them.”

“Well, you look amazing,” Sam said.

Danny felt like his face was on fire. He attempted to settle the topic with an “I’m glad you think that.”

If anything, that made their reactions ten times worse.

“Oh, Danny.” Sam sniffed, bringing one hand up to cover her mouth. “Wow.”

“What?” He blindly reached over to his wheelchair again, hoping that maybe some height would make him seem less pitiful. But before he could pull the chair closer to him, Sam sank to the floor.

“I’m sorry. I told myself I wasn’t going to do this. I promised I wasn’t gonna cry.” She wiped her eyes with the back of her fingers. “Ugh, sorry.”

“No—it’s. Um. I just...I just—” Danny tried to look at Tucker for help, but Tucker was avoiding eye contact with him now.

“I’m sorry?” Danny tried.

Sam’s eyes snapped over to his. “No! God, Danny. Don’t apologize. Please.”

“I don’t...I don’t…”

“No, it’s me, Danny. I’m sorry, it’s me.” Sam sniffed again and brushed unshed tears away from her eyes. She took a few deep breaths before glancing back over to Danny with that same damn shy expression as before.

Just what was going on right now?

“I know you don’t like being touched anymore—”

Danny grimaced. It wasn’t his fault that none of his nerve endings responded the same to physical stimulus anymore.

“—but would you mind if I hugged you? Just for a second?”

“Uh…” Danny trailed off. Since when did his friends ever ask him if it was okay to touch him? Normally they just barreled right into him, intangibility be damned. But, thinking back to his interactions with them a month before, he hadn’t really allowed them near him, did he? Of course, they invaded his room anyway, no thanks to Jazz. But even then, they always sat a respectful distance away from him on separate chairs rather than piling on his bed like they would have done before his time with the GiW.

Something churned in Danny’s gut. Had he really been that bad before that he made his own friends feel like they couldn’t have physical contact with him now?

“Sure?”

She leaned into him slowly, raising her arms up towards him as if he would break as soon as she touched him.

But he didn’t flinch, his eyes didn’t waver, and when she finally made contact with him, he didn’t pull away.

But he wanted to.

Arms wrapped around his waist, resting lightly on his back, and for a moment, he forgot how to breathe. He couldn’t remember the last time someone had held him with such care, such tenderness. He knew his family was still keeping their distance, still unsure about how much contact he could handle, but he didn’t realize it had been this long since anyone had just...given him a hug.

And it bothered him. 

The first time he woke up in the hospital, his parents had wrapped their arms around him similarly to this. Then, he felt nothing. He spent weeks after that mulling it over, wondering if maybe deep down inside he had been angry at them for letting the Guys in White force him away. Maybe he was just another Pavlov’s dog, and he was only able to associate touch with pain now. Or maybe it wasn’t that serious, maybe he had just been too drugged up to be able to process even a simple hug.

But it couldn’t be the drugs from the hospital, because it still felt different to him. He still felt nothing.

He tried to melt into her embrace, pulling his own arms to fit around her slim body. He squeezed his eyes shut and focused on the familiar smell of her coconut shampoo, the one from that vegan company she liked so much.

“Danny,” Sam’s shaky voice sounded from his shoulder. “I missed you.”

He felt something wet touch his neck, and he tightened his hold on her, desperate to ground himself in the moment. But the dampness from her tears reminded him of the way his skin felt for those last few weeks in his cell. Never dry, always trickling with loose ectoplasm.

Get a grip, Fenturd.

“Yeah. I missed you too,” he managed to choke out. 

Sam shook her head. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

“For what? You didn’t—”

“I—we tried. We tried so hard to get you out sooner. I’m sorry it didn’t work.”

He paused, then pulled back. What were they talking about? Hadn’t they organized that protest for him? What more could he have asked from them? “It wasn’t...it wasn’t your fault. I know you tried.”

Tucker shook his head. “No, dude. Like, we tried tried. We had a whole team of people—Ember, Frostbite. Hell, even Skulker—but nothing.”

“Wait, hold up.” Danny tilted his head, glancing between the duo with raised eyebrows. “Skulker? How did—how did you get Skulker? And, and Ember?”

“You remember that time last winter that Ember came over to listen to that band’s new album? ‘Cause she couldn’t do that in the Ghost Zone?”

“Yeah...she...oh, she almost got...right? The Guys in White almost got her then?” 

“Right, and you remember who came to save the day?”

“Um...it was...it was…” Danny ran his fingers through his hair. That day was fuzzy. He remembered that Ember came over, and they were listening to the album up on the roof of the Nasty Burger while eating some fries some drunk teenager handed him in the parking lot. But then, a net came out of nowhere and grabbed Ember.

And after that, everything was blank, as if someone had burned a hole in the middle of his memory.

“Skulker, I guess?”

Tucker nodded, his face contorting into an expression that Danny couldn’t read. “Skulker came. He’d been watching Ember the whole time. Didn’t want her crossing over by herself, I guess.” He grinned. “Though, if you ask me, I’d say he has a crush on—”

“Ugh, Tucker! Gross! Don’t even joke about that!” Sam scowled.

“Right, you keep thinking that!”

“No, we’re not having this conversation again!”

“Sure, Sam…”

Danny blinked, head turning between them. For the first time ever, he was on the outside of their bantering.

It felt...odd.

“Point is,” Sam continued. “Ember almost got kidnapped, and neither of us were there to help you guys. And they had the whole building surrounded in no time, mind you. But Skulker of all ghosts actually showed up, blew up the Guys in White’s van engines, freed Ember, and got you both away from there.”

“Oh. Whoa.”

“Yeah, whoa. So when he heard you were taken, he actually came to us wanting to help.”

Danny’s fingers twitched. He started to raise his arm, but then, thinking better of it, lowered his fingers down to run along the carpet. His movements were rigid, and when he spoke, his voice was tight. “And what did...him and Frostbite...what did they think they could do? Find me? Break me—break me out? And then what?”

Their silence, as well as the blanket of unease that had settled over the group, was all Danny needed as a response.

His shoulders sagged. “You couldn’t...there was no way. I tried, and that didn’t...it doesn’t matter.”

Danny felt a hand drape his shoulder, and he looked up to see Sam’s eyes fixated on him.

“It does matter, Danny. You matter to us. And we would have never forgiven ourselves if we didn’t try to get you out, even if it was impossible. You’re our friend, and we care about you.”

“Yeah.” He broke eye contact. “I’m sorry. I put you through so much and I—I didn’t think. You guys didn’t know. I mean...what—what do you guys know now? Has—has Jazz told you anything? About what happened in...in there?”

“Uh…” Tucker started. His gaze flickered over to Sam. “I mean...Jazz told us some stuff. Other stuff I think we were able to infer. Like uh...your...you know…”

Danny could feel the looming presence of his wheelchair and walker next to his bed. And apparently, so could Sam and Tucker, because suddenly their eyes were flickering between Danny and his wheelchair, and he could see the inevitable question on their lips.

Maybe they wouldn’t ask. But then again, if they did, would it really matter if they knew? They were his best friends, and friends were supposed to tell each other these things.

Hell, they’d been there for the portal, they were there during all the time’s he’d been bitten or stabbed by all sorts of unsavory characters.

Maybe it would be okay.

He took a deep breath. “That’s what happened when I tried to escape.”

Tucker froze, and Sam ripped her arm off his shoulder and brought it to her mouth, her eyes growing in size by the second.

“Holy shit, dude,” Tucker breathed.

Danny lowered his head. This was a mistake. He shouldn’t have told them. They were only going to pity him more than they already did.

“It’s fine, I’m pretty over it at this point. It’s...wanna play Doomed instead?”

“Oh...Danny...”

“How did—I mean, what did they—”

“I—I can’t remember when it happened,” Danny said.

This was a disaster. He was going to have to tell them now, which is something his therapist would be proud of because that would mean he was being open and honest with his loved ones. So he should be fine telling them, right? This shouldn’t be a big deal. 

He just had to power through this. “Everything kind of...blurred together at some point. But a guard—the guy who gave me dinner—he opened the door and I had this...this protocol…” He was fine. He could do this. 

“What was the protocol?” Sam asked.

“Um it was...it’s not important.” He remembered it too well. Stand in the back of the cell, against the wall, facing the agent. Refuse and be punished. “But there was a...he—the guard would shut the window and unlock the door. And in that—that moment, when he opened the...the door and I push—pushed him. I pushed him down. He fell, and I ran.”

“Oh no…”

“It was stupid.”

“Danny, no it wasn’t.” 

Sam went to wrap her arm around him again, but he shrugged her off, turning his head away from her.

“I wasn’t thinking. He still had his...communi...communication device in his ear. So when I turned down the—the hallway, he told...told...uh...it was over. I was—was ambushed before I knew it. Electrocuted. Dragged to a room with Operative...the head operative, and he had a metal...a metal bat I think, and it was over.”

“And they left you like that? Just beat you to the point of paralysis and then left you to rot?”

“Sam,” Tucker hissed.

“No, that’s—that can’t be legal! That’s torture! They can’t do that, even if you are half-ghost. They can’t do that!”

He frowned. “I mean, was it really a secret? What did you—did you think? When you saw me in the hospital?” 

“I don’t know.” Tucker said. “Obviously we knew something happened. It felt like every time we talked to Jazz, you were in the operating room undergoing another surgery, or you were recovering from a surgery. So we knew something happened.”

“And my speech. It’s not...not the same.”

There was another awkward silence, before Sam said, “We didn’t wanna ask. But it seems better. Than the last time we saw you, I mean.”

“It’s fine.” Danny shrugged. This was exhausting. “They think I...I, uh fell asleep on a concussion...at some point. It wouldn’t...surprise me.”

“It was that bad,” Tucker said.

“It…” Danny’s voice trailed off. He had been ready to deny it, but the proof was right in front of them. 

They were his best friends. He needed to trust them. 

Sam and Tucker were silent, probably processing everything that was happening. How all their worst fears about life inside a secret government anti-ghost compound were likely coming true. Danny could see the last of their denial leaving their face. They’d tried their best to find him, even going to Danny’s enemies like Skulker for help, with nothing but speculation to go off of, and for what? 

He’d already talked about the paralysis incident with his parents in therapy extensively . Not willingly, of course, but it was something he had to do before they would release him, and he’d really wanted to be released so he could get access to his core back.

Lot of good that did him now. He was home and still sans powers.

He thought back to that day. The therapist had already told his parents what happened—to prepare them, she’d told Danny—but that didn’t matter. They both started crying the minute Danny started the story.

It was funny how time worked. That therapy session seemed like it happened months ago. 

But even then, there were things he didn’t talk about, like how for the next few days he lay in his cell, surrounded by a pool of his ectoplasm, passing out and waking up so often that he didn’t know how much time had passed. He remembered the chilling feeling as he realized that no one was coming to help him, that he really might die there. And then he remembered when the click of the door finally sounded, revealing two operatives who stood there, ordering him to “get up, ghost.” But he couldn’t stand up, they knew he couldn’t do it. 

They had taken their time with him that day, mocking him. He was weak, pathetic, disgusting. 

“You really thought your little Houdini act would work, ghost? I know you lot are stupid, but that’s just sad.”

“Hah, are you gonna cry, ghost? Are you crying for Mommy and Daddy right now?”

He remembered that morning, and he so desperately wished he didn’t, because when the operatives were finished having their fun with him, they punished him for not following orders.

For not standing up.

Danny frowned. He still hadn’t told anyone about that. He couldn’t…

Oh, right. Sam and Tucker were still here, still living with microscopic breadcrumbs of knowledge of Danny’s reality.

What was the question again?

Danny glanced up at Tucker. “Don’t you have homework?”

“Nah,” Tucker said, waving him off. “Lancer was nice to us today.”

Danny stared at Tucker, his lips twitching upward in some poor attempt to grin, just like the old times. “You’re such a—a shit liar. You know?”

“Must be a new ghost power. Nobody can see through my charming gaze.”

Danny snorted, his mind wandering to last night. He thought this would be so easy last night, but he hadn’t exactly been in his right mind then. He was happy and full of bliss, but it was all a lie. 

Last night, he thought that telling them wouldn’t be so hard. Hell, they had seen him bloody and beaten more times than he could count. Just because this time it was done by the government, and not one of his ghostly foes...

But now the drugs had worn off, and reality was hitting him like a ton of bricks.

He knew he could tell them about some things. He could tell them about how the Guys in White would strap him down in a tube chamber, testing different chemicals on him to see how his body would react. He could tell them about how one day they surrounded him with blood blossoms to try to harness the electricity from the flowers and use it for energy.

Danny was almost thankful that one was a dead end. It turned out his ectoplasm was more powerful than the blood blossom electricity. 

But there were some things he still couldn’t say. Like the time he was strapped to a table, conscious—though barely—and taunted with metal knives and other sharp objects. He couldn’t tell them about how just minutes later, the knives were brought to his skin and he had to lie there helpless and watch the ectoplasm trickle down his chest and pool around his sides, dripping off the table and splashing against the tiled floor. How the room started blurring and then, before he knew it, he was forced into consciousness by the feeling of fire and the sight of green-stained gloves inside his body, groping around for his core.

And just how violated he felt. Like the last of his innocence had been stolen from him right along with the chunk of his core they extracted. And that was the real reason why he wasn’t allowed access to his ghost core, because it was scarred and damaged now just like the rest of his body.

Ugh, he was stupid for inviting them here. He couldn’t tell them what they wanted to know. 

This wasn’t a typical ghost fight. This wasn’t a time where he needed a few stitches in his arm, some Advil, water, and a good night’s sleep to heal. 

This was permanent.

And then there was another matter entirely, the one with the red bag. And the sight of it, the smell, and the taste and—

“Earth to Commander Fenton! Do you copy?”

Danny’s head jerked up, and he realized where he was again: in his room, tense, with two concerned faces hovering over him.

He forced his shoulders to relax. “Yeah—yeah, sorry. Just, the timeline...weird.”

Sam gave him an encouraging smile. “I know it’s a lot, but we’re here for you. We’ll stay as long as you need, homework be damned.”

“Fuck homework,” Tucker agreed. 

“Yeah.” Danny sighed. 

Reality sucked. 

“Um...”

“Danny, how did they get you?” Sam asked.

“What do you mean?” 

“When they kidnapped you. I mean, what even happened?”

“They ambushed my house. You know—I heard it made the news—and...they dragged me away. Into the van.”

“We, uh…saw some footage of that. Videos people took. You know,” Tucker said.

Danny pretended not to hear that. “My parents tried to fight them, but they pinned them down. Shot a bullet in the floor next to...to my dad. I couldn’t...fight back. Couldn’t fight back. So they put the inhibitors on me and that was it, I was done.”

“Damn.”

“Yeah, I mean, it wasn’t all bad…”

Sam wiped her eyes. “That’s bullshit and you know it.”

That almost sounded like their confrontation before Danny was admitted to inpatient, before Dash caught him in the middle of a breakdown and got Lancer involved. 

“I was in my cell most of the time.”

In the darkness, with the smell of ectoplasm and the red bag permeating the air, cold and shaking, constantly fighting against his body’s pain receptors or the clawing hunger in his stomach.

“And the rest of the time?”

Danny shrugged. “It depended. Most of it wasn’t...wasn’t horrible. They didn’t do much.”

Tucker raised his eyebrows.

“I mean…” Danny shifted. He needed to give them something, or else they were just going to accuse him of lying again. “I...uh, how do I say this...at first, they mainly just wanted to understand ghost—ghost biology. You know? Typical stuff. And they had other—uh, lower level...ghosts to compare me with. Tested my ectoplasm against theirs. They realized my ectoplasm was more...potent. Because my body is more dense than an—an average ghost. I don’t know. But they would have me flat on a table...and there would be a—uh...they would take some. I would just lie there and they’d have a tube in my arm. It was...boring.”

“And then?”

“I tried to escape...and things changed. They got worse. I don’t remember most of it, but they made me...I wasn’t—I couldn’t eat anymore. I could barely move, and one of my arms was busted. I couldn’t eat, so they would...granola bars, and...it—it was red, like one for, you know—and it...they...and…” 

“There’s a good dog,” Operative O’s voice hissed in his ear. “See, was that so hard?”

Danny’s throat burned. He felt something trickle down his cheeks. Was it ectoplasm? Tears? Bile? He didn’t know. It didn’t matter. None of it mattered.

It was too hot in here. But he was so cold.

“I’m only doing my job. If you were a better trained dog, we wouldn’t have to do this, now would we? It’s not my fault we’re in this position. Don’t you get it?”

“—what was red?”

Danny flinched, startled.  “Huh?”

“The red thing?” Tucker asked. “With the granola bars?”

“Granola bars?” Danny breathed. “I don’t...I don’t remember. I’m sorry. I don’t know why I brought that up. It’s not...I don’t remember why they brought the bag in. It was probably just to collect samples. For storage. I don’t know, I’m sorry.”

Sam and Tucker exchanged a look with each other. Another silent conversation.

“Everything is jumbled. I don’t remember most of it.”

“It’s okay.” Sam plastered an obviously fake smile on her face. “We can do something else if you want?”

Danny looked down at his hand. It was shaking.

“You up for some Doomed? Or think you’re too rusty to take us dweebs on?” 

“Yeah,” Danny forced out. “Doomed sounds great. Let’s...let’s do that.”

He was fine, after all. Reality sucked but he was here and alive and with his friends who cared about him very much. He could play Doomed with them. It was his favorite game, right?

So why did he feel like there was a wall in between them? 

---

They could hear the yelling as soon as they stepped out of the elevator.

“Oh dear,” Maddie said, hesitating beside Danny. “I hope everything’s alright.”

Danny hummed in response and focused on the voices. Stretching his sensitive hearing, past the muffled babble, he was able to pick out one distinct word.

“...Ghost…”

“I think we should wait out here,” Maddie said. “At least until it’s calmed down in there.”

Danny pushed himself forward. Had he heard wrong? 

No, that was impossible. He knew what he heard.

“I’m sure it’s fine,” he said, trying to ignore the way his stomach squirmed.

Ghost. 

“Danny, I’m not sure…”

“All I have to do is sign in, anyways.” Danny pushed himself closer to the door. The voices were getting louder on the other side. He could pick out more words now from the muffled yelling.

“...unsafe...vicious...”

“It’s not like we have to—to hang around the lobby.”

“Wait, I don’t think—”

But Danny had stopped listening. His hand was already on the door handle, his heart was already thumping in his chest, and his head was already swimming with pain from his chest and back and everything else going on.

“I thought you were running a professional clinic here!” the woman’s voice on the other side cried out.

There, that was all he needed to rip open the door to the lobby, where he immediately locked eyes with the owner of the raised voice.

The woman narrowed her eyes at him. “My daughter came here to heal. I can’t sit quietly while I know she’s here with that—that thing putting her safety at risk!”

Whatever Danny was about to say, whatever half-baked plan he had constructed in the corners of his curiosity vanished in an instant. He looked up at the woman twice his height, her finger extended out to him, scorn etched on her features, and Danny shut down.

That thing, his brain echoed. He was just a thing. Just some piece of trash kicked off the sidewalk into the street where cars could run over him.

He used to be something back before he stupidly outed himself on national television. Someone admired by most in the town. A ghost, sure, but a ghost with a purpose. 

But not anymore.

The therapist swiftly moved between them. “Danny,” she said gently. “Please wait out—”

That thing.

He wasn’t human. Hell, he wasn’t even a ghost. What was he? What right did he have to be here?

“How dare you,” came his mother’s voice from behind him. “That is my son you’re talking about. How dare you imply—”

“And you, what the hell were you thinking? Enrolling your science experiment in—”

“He is a child!”

No. No he wasn’t.

Danny felt someone push him away from the raised voices, but he couldn’t see where they were going. All he could see was the expression the woman had on her face.

Disgust.

Repulsion.

Fear.

That was it. She was afraid of him, wasn’t she?

Maybe...maybe Operative O was right. Maybe all those days being tested and tortured were for something. Maybe they were all right back in the compound.

Maybe he was just a rabid dog.

A door closed behind him, and one part of his brain played the sound of his cell doors shutting in the Guys in White facility—that soft click bouncing off the walls of his mind—while the other part of his brain reminded him that he wasn’t there he was outside the compound where the government couldn’t get him, but then that was a lie too because he would never escape them, not really.

There was a therapist in front of him now. She was talking to him, Danny was sure of it. He could see her lips moving and he could hear a voice in the room but he couldn’t understand what she was saying. The words didn’t make sense together. It was just noise, just like everything else. It didn’t matter. It was noise.

His core thrummed in his chest, and he could feel the prickles of intangibility dance along his fingertips. More than anything, his core wanted to escape. To get away. Fly out the window and soar through the sky. Who cares if anyone saw him? It wasn’t like his leaving the hospital was a secret any longer. By tonight, the woman from the lobby would be all over the news, telling the story of how she only narrowly escaped the sharp claws of that rabid animal known as Danny Phantom. The disgusting, vile ghost masquerading as a human teen. How horrid that he’d managed to infiltrate a PHP program to prey on the defenseless, traumatized teens.

Everyone was going to know about him now.

Nothing mattered.

The therapist moved in closer to him, her lips still moving. He made eye contact with her, and she nodded encouragingly. But it didn’t matter.

There was no more hiding. No more running away.

Danny Phantom was back.

He was a monster.

“There’s a good dog.”

<previous / next>

[og-danny-dorito]

《 Call Out My Name 》

〔 A/N :

     Hey, I know no one likes reading this part so I'll try to make it brief. This was done as a gift for @youthbitch whom is very entertaining and sweet and honestly just flat out adorable with the coolest and most creative ideas I've heard in a really long time. I hope y'all like this, even though it's not that great of a project considering some of my other stuff. Basically Jason tells the reader to vent and they do, leading to an awkward pat and a promise that he'll be there for them. Tell me if y'all want gendered five or not and I'll release ones for any genders separately or change the pronouns in some to be custom to male, female and/or gender neutral. Anyway, thanks for reading, and I hope you like the story thing.

⁃ Danny ✌🏼🗿 〕

<<------------------------------------------------------------------------------------->>

  Cigarette smoke pooled on the hotel ceiling. The scent of it hanging in the air, the visual as it whisked in curls on itself as it moved freely, even the feeling of it curving around your skin made you feel the familiar sensation of a flipping stomach. You could remember the exact moment where this had all began; where the phone calls on the middle of the night and the surprise break-ins through your window took place has remained no lost memory even though it happened quite a few months ago. There was always someone nearby, always someone watching. It had been like that from the beginning.

  He was quiet as he breathed, his eyes closed as he inhaled the smoke from the cigarette between his left index and middle finger. It was a crime how pretty he looked while breathing in that cancer stick. A self destructive item for an equally self destructive person, you supposed, but it didn't stop you from feeling the same amount guilt for not being able to talk him out of it. You weren't perfect; you never had been. And you didn't intend to make it so either. So why did he look at you like that? Why when he touched you, you felt like the most implant person on the planet? Why, even though he rarely spoke, did his words feel like they were made for you? A chunk of you felt shame for it.

  Shame for the selfishness of wanting to keep him there, with you, away from what he so often found solace in even though it was a continuation of the past events that left him so scarred and beaten. You weren't a perfect empath, but if you were in his position, every day would feel like the beginning of the end. Waiting for it to all come back looping. For the cycle of attachment, pain and grief to repeat itself only to halt when he could no longer bear to witness its gruesome pillage of the people around him and himself. No matter how strong he was, he felt the pain. And you saw it. When you were alone. When you were quiet and settled. With his hands gripped tightly to you and his head rested in the nook of your shoulder. Armor did only so much with a fragile warrior underneath.

  "I can almost hear your thoughts from over here." His voice was low, kept quiet due to the desire to keep this serene state of the room. The TV ran, but the words weren't heard. Background noise; always a good deterrent from doing any hard and focused thinking. He seemed to take another drag from his cigarette, and, turning his head over to roll in your direction, he shifted in place to adjust his sore muscles a little. Jason hadn't bothered to undress into pajamas much less take of his shoes before getting into the bed, settling with just putting on the TV, lighting a cig and letting his thoughts run with a warm body next to him. Of course, he hadn't ever implied using you as just a warm body, but you had thought it over and decided you didn't mind much if he used you like that for a night or two.

  You were quiet before glancing over, leaning your head back against the board of the cheap bed frame. Silence. You couldn't find anything to say that might contribute, but he managed to stay patient. You noticed he was getting better at that lately; he must've been going to therapy more often lately. "Something up?", he said, concern lacing his tone. You raised a brow, moving your head over just enough to roll to meet his eyes. Vibrant green, like radioactive waste., almost like they were glowing. A light at the end of a river. Or a beacon of a lost past long since having been chased after in hopes of its repeat. The question jarred a small grin out of you. "Not much you'd be interested in. Why, you wanna switch listening positions for tonight?", you asked, sounding coy. He snorted a little, rolling his eyes before taking another drag from the cigarette. It was interesting to see how his lips closed around it. They were chapped but full. Almost made you wonder what they'd feel like under the pad of your thumb, but you were smarter than tricking yourself into thinking it would happen.

  Jason exhaled the smoke after keeping it in his lungs for a while. It shot from his lips quickly, soon rising to the ceiling before eventually dissipating after a few moments of lingering around it. It was so dim in here you could imagine that the ceiling wasn't grimy and stained from previous chainsmokers. But you doubted anyone else had revealed the deepest parts of themselves like you had both done before here. His amused grin turned to a small frown as time passed, and you watched as his brows furrowed. "I'm..." he paused. "I'm just concerned, is all. You just seem a little dissociated. Haven't contacted anyone lately or really talked to anyone in a few days, even me. I might be reading this whole thing wrong, but if something's up, you can...” He took a second to shift a bit in his seat. “...I want you to let me know."

  The last sew words seemed to permeate for a good few reasons, but he spoke with such determination in his voice you swore he'd hunt down and strangle your problems to death if it weren't for the fact that they weren't tangible. You ran a hand through your hair, and almost immediately he managed to grab a small strand and twirl it between two fingers. He had always been fascinated with your hair, although you never found much special about it. He seemed to care more about smaller details than the bigger picture. For a good few seconds, you remained quiet, eyebrows furrowing to try to figure out what the hell to say without making yourself seem pissed off.

  He extended the cigarette to you, and you shook your head before straightening up a bit. The bed creaked under the pressure. "I uh..." You squinted at the TV ahead. Seemed like some infomercial was on, but it didn't catch your interest. Even though you wanted to, you didn't change the subject entirely to the infomercial since he'd pinpoint that as avoiding the question and would then be even more worried for you. You attempted to sort your thoughts, but you supposed venting wasn't about organization. "I'm not sure, to be honest. I like...I'm just getting tired of all the shit around me, yknow? I just want things to change."

  He nodded, making sure to slowly make his way up to rub at your scalp. It felt oddly nice, maybe even a little soothing, to have someone vaguely pulling upon your hair. He was quiet, taking drags from his cigarette whilst also paying close attention to you. But thankfully not to the point of feeling like you were being scrutinized. "But..my goal takes time. And I'm a patient person, but I can't...I don't want to wait if it's all I do. I wonder a lot if it'd be different if I was somewhere else in a different environment, but I don't want to just...leave everyone. I've got a good system set up.", you said, furrowing your brows. Jason was quiet as he listened but made sure to nod while you spoke. He sighed a little, leaning back. You were feeling yourself sink into the mattress. You had to get somewhere tomorrow, but it wouldn't kill you to fall asleep here. You'd probably sleep easier if you were next to him, anyway.

  He seemed to tense a bit at the last part, but spoke nothing of it. The only way you could tell was how his left bicep shook a little to make your hair feel like you were being petted like a cat, but he covered it up by shifting quickly enough to play it off as an attempt to get more comfortable. You pursed your lips. Maybe he felt uncomfortable. You refrained from talking for the moment, letting him mess with your hair for now. It made you feel at ease, although the tenseness in your shoulders gave away your lack of relaxation. From the corner of your eye you could see him slow to a stop in his movements, scooting a bit closer to your side. "What would you do if you could?"

  The question made you pause, head tilting back to expose the bare flesh of your neck and the slight sheen of sweat that formed on the surface like a veil. It wasn't even that hot in here, but since he was an old man and always hated the cold he cranked it up enough to leave you a little damp on the skin. He might've liked it actually; the way it shone in the light brightly to make this messy afterglow on you was priceless. It was odd to think that you weren't just some vivid hallucination he felt when he got like this, that you were a living body with weight and a mind and tangible flesh. Even more so, it was odd to think that you even felt comfortable talking to him about this. Jason didn't deserve this. He was becoming more sure of it as time passed.

  "I don't know. I..." Your brows furrowed, leaving you with your eyes blankly looking to the tv. White noise, a distraction. A distraction from focused thoughts or too much of them. The only time it wasn't helpful was when you were trying to genuinely sort out your thoughts; like writing words on a page, only to have your elbows violently jerked every so often by some outside force to derail you for a few moments. Your joints and muscles felt sore from the day. It had been a long one, and you were pretty sure you needed another swig of the beer that was sitting between your thighs. Grabbing it, you brought the rim of the bottle to your lips, letting it clink against your teeth softly before allowing the burning to go down your throat.

  He was quiet as you did this, letting his hand fall to his lap where the cigarette slowly burned out. "I wouldn't know where to go from here. I mean I have an idea but I don't know if it'll work...", you trailed off, letting your head drop. It took Jason a moment to fully register what you said  but by the time he did he was already splaying his hand out at the back of your scalp. His hands had always been chapped, regardless of whether he was working or not. Always something to keep him busy. Always something to keep his mind off of things. But he didn't feel the anxiety he had before at most things. Now it was a dull undertone of a feeling, a familiar knot in his chest that made his brows furrow together and his mouth pull into a taut line in thought, just as he had now.

  You assumed he was listening intently, but a part of you wished he would feel more than you thought. Simple confusion was easy to decipher, but he seemed more...concerned. Concerned for you. Which seemed like an odd concept right now considering you did most of the worrying. But you didn't question it, and after a few long moments of glaring at the TV screen and letting the slow feeling of sleepiness come over you, you felt the hand leave your scalp to snake around your shoulders.

  This initially caught you off guard, but as soon as you saw that Jason was narrowly avoiding eye contact and lighting another cigarette with his free hand and the stick between his teeth, you found yourself cracking a small but noticeable grin. The bags under your eyes seemed to disappear for a moment as the muscles beneath your cheeks scrunched up. "It's uh... it's gonna be okay, alright?", he said gently enough to hear but not loud enough to echo. You sunk a bit into the mattress and his arm behind your head, head turning lazily in his direction. For a moment he seemed awkward, but at your relaxation into his embrace, you felt his arms soothe a bit under the pressure and revert from their tensed state. "Is it?"

  The teasing question made him avert his eyes even further, finding interest in the wall nearby. But it was noticeable that he was blushing, regardless of the poor lighting in the room. Here- where it smelled like ashes and cleaning products, where the light burned a dying yellow and the mattress creaked under little to no pressure, where the smallness of the room and bolted down furniture made you feel odd and away from home. Here is where you felt the most safe right now. Not with anyone else, not anywhere else. Just here. And as you reached over for the cigarette between his lips to take a drag from it yourself, you watched as the smoke rose to the ceiling and dissipated without another word.

"I'm here for you, Y/n."

<<_E N D_>>

[kalxdesai]

Confessions of a Broken Mind||Therapy Session

TW: Addiction, Substance Abuse, Death, Suicide, Lack of self-worth, Family Disownment, Medication, Language, Some smart-ass comments (it’s basically everything and the kitchen sink) 

Ah therapy the one place where Danny felt like he could just BE and not be judged. His therapist, one Matthew Davis, had been in Danny's life for over a decade, the two had such a familiar relationship the older man could take simple cues from Danny and know what to discuss, what to drop and what to push. Today, like most days, he was dressed casual: a pair of relaxed black jeans, an Atlanta Falcon t-shirt, sneakers, glasses and as always a pen and notebook in his lap. While this clothing choice may have seemed unorthodox for other patient and doctor relationships, Danny and Matt had established by then clothing was not the high point of their meetings. Usually. "Did you wear that shirt just to piss me off?" Danny asked after a few minutes worth of silence.

A smile played on the other man's lips before a quiet chuckle left his mouth. "No, if I wanted to do that I would have worn an Eagles shirt. Or the Phillies. Or the Heat. Or the Penguins." He flashed Danny a charismatic smile, leaning back in the chair that faced the couch where Danny sat. Matthew had a Mel Gibson look-deep set piercing blue eyes, a mound of brown hair that tended to have a mind all it's own, a slim but firm upper-body, a clean shaven face that was pretty close to perfectly symmetrical. Danny rolled his eyes but couldn't hide his own smile as he looked at the man. There's roughly a minute or two of relaxation before the notebook is opened. "So, how are you?"

While this sentence alone may seem broad, Danny has the shorthand down. "Uh...life hasn't changed much since the last time I saw you. Sleep is still for shit, but it's been that way for so long I can't remember what REM sleep is. Everyone is doing as well as can be..." He let out a breath of air and shrugged. "Sorry, Martin Riggs I am not" he said and gave a tentative chuckle before he looked down at the carpet. "Was there something specific you wanted to ask me? Or something specific you wanted to know?" It had been one thing back when Danny had first fallen down the rabbit hole of addiction but now with the help and support system he was determined to stay clean. He had too much to lose.

Matt's eyes were scanning the notebook, the pen twirling in his fingers. This suited Danny just fine, it was one of many reasons he preferred being the last patient of the day and Matt was more than willing to accommodate, he was either the one patient for the day or the last one. Anything else put him on edge. But now they could be relaxed with most of the day behind them they could take their time and be as at ease as they could. "It's been nearly two months since you lost your father. How has that been?" Danny raised an eyebrow but waited a minute as he reached in his pockets, feeling the chips in his fingers, his own touchstone to the real world as the one he was in could often distort and contort the realities of life.

"My parents...Being raised by them was kind of like being raised by terminators, their actions were dictated by a gain and loss margin, everything they did was calculated and for a specific reason. If they had a checklist it went like this: meet, check, courtship, check, marriage, check, offspring, check, take over the world" he finished and laughed again, brushing some hair out of his eyes. "I can't recall the word love being used, not by my parents, or my grandparents, or anyone else really, it was always fall in line, follow the rules, etc etc." He held the chips still firmly in his pocket, looking down for a minute before he finally looked up again. "She didn't even look at me, not at the funeral, not at the will reading, not a glance, not a single acknowledgment, I mean, I'm not surprised given our history but it's unfathomable to me that someone could be so cold. And for that matter if you aren't raised to love, knowing what it is, how do you learn to love? How do you love, period?"

A silence passed for a few minutes before Matt looked up from the notebook. "You had love-your brothers, all your friendships. May have not seemed like a lot at the time but it was love in it's own form. In a perfect world, all kids would be born to parents that loved them unconditionally and they would come at a time when life was just right for their appearance. But as we know life is far from perfect so stories like you and worse are fairly, sadly common. As for how someone can love if they are not raised with it, well, you may have not been raised by caring parents but it didn't stop you from growing up into a person that cares, the circumstances that you are born into do not have to dictate your own life." He stopped again, his head tilted as he thought for a minute. "You managed at least four relationships, unless the internet lied to me so despite what you weren't raised with you manage to love, no thanks to your parents and that is all you. Tell me about it."

Danny blew out a sigh and nodded. "Well, aside from some juvenile crushes when I was a kid, nothing really serious back home. I came to Cali and was too busy to considered dating, not that that was a real possibility or anything. In this business if you don't look like Brad Pitt or Tom Cruise, good luck, you have to take whatever is given and fight tooth and nail for a role you really want. Girls too man, I wasn't like those other idiots running around with hundred dollar bills in my back pockets, throwing them at anything and everything, no, like the song says mo money, mo problems. Anyways, Odessa was my first serious everything, well, first everything really...Pathetic...Here I am all these years later still gone. It was your typical teen love at first and well...Then it wasn't. Parenthood is hard enough for adults but for teens that are far from ready? A whole other beast. It didn't matter what our relationship status was though we had the same goal and that was raising our son the best way we could. Uh...my first relationship after that came when Wyatt was about two or so, I was completely upfront about my past, never hid it but in the end she was uncomfortable that I was always going to be in my son and his mom's life so that ended after about five, six months." Danny stopped for a minute to catch his breath. "One-night stands were few and far between with me, between work, Wyatt, staying clean, I was busy, well, that and I didn't like the way I felt in the morning. My next relationship was about a year and a half, um, she didn't care that I had a kid and an ex, not the way my first ex did, um, it was a nice relationship overall but at some point we realized we were better as friends. Weird when that happens after sex but hey" he said and shrugged. "And then came the most serious one, it lasted for three and a half years. It wasn't perfect, of course, nothing is, but it was really special. I mean clearly it was, it's not like I propose to just anyone. But she ended it and that was that. And then Odessa and I fell back into our old ways, had Heather, Brock and well...stay tuned is all I can say for now."

Another lapse of silence, Matt wrote in the notebook, Danny stood and stretched, the drive alone had been long enough and then to resort back to sitting was a bit of a pain. Sitting back down, Danny faced the other man. The dance was nearly over, it was a similar one each time he came, it may have varied on and off depending on circumstances but mostly it followed a simple pattern. Once more Matt was carefully turning the words in his head before he spoke. "Hollywood is a hard business, for some, impossible, and yet, you keep on logging your hours and taking whatever jobs you can. Why?" Now it was Danny's turn to sit and think, turning his words before he answered.

"Like I already said and this shouldn't surprise you or anyone for that matter: Whorewood, excuse me, Hollywood, is for the beautiful ones, or the wealthy ones that can buy their way into their business or worse the ones who are only famous because mommy and daddy are famous." He scoffed and shook his head. "My whole life I have felt like an outsider, like I didn't belong anywhere. But when I discovered acting, it was like a door to a new world had opened and I wasn't the shy, awkward, and just plain stupid Danny. I was anybody I wanted to be other than me. And that was incredible. I love it, I live for acting so while it might not be the easiest career opportunity, because if it was, let's face it, everyone would do it. I'm an underdog and that's okay, it just means I have to try harder, work harder. It's also why I root for the underdog teams" he said and shrugged once.

Matt nodded once before speaking. "You are far from a loser, Danny. Addiction is a monster that has ravaged countless people, it's destroyed lives, families, claimed lives, the numbers are staggering. And yet for every person lost, there is always someone who survives and thrives. You are one of those people, Danny, everyday that you are clean and sober and staying on the right path proves just how wrong you are when you say such disparaging remarks about yourself. Everyone in the world is a little broken, not everyone shows it and not everyone admits it but no one is truly happy or sane or normal. And that's fine, it's called being human and the one thing that we as humans can do is be the best version of ourself we can be. If you can look at yourself in the mirror at night and be content with the face staring back, then keep up whatever you are doing, and if you don't like the face staring back, sit and think and change what you don't like. Your life, whether you know it or not, means a lot to people, it may not be a lot of people, but there are people in your life that love you, care about you and want the best for you. Keep fighting and staying alive for them."

Danny whistled. "Woah Nelly I'm not sure what I said that made you think you had to like talk me off a ledge but I'm fine, at least in that respect. I take my meds, see you, my sponsor is on speed dial, if I get myself into a bad situation, I get myself out of it. Believe me I know that people are dependent on me, it's one of many reasons I keep going. One day at a time, that's all I can do, just take life one day at a time. I'm not trying for much here, I just...Want to be happy, that's all. But I guess if happiness came easily you would be out of a job" he added which made them both chuckle. Standing, Danny once more stretched and dug his keys out. "Same time, same place?"

Matt nodded and finished writing out the script, handing it to Danny as he too stood. "I upped your dosage-you may be okay with not sleeping but I have an issue so let's try and fix that." Danny shrugged and put the paper in his pocket, facing him again. "And yes I an a Falcon's fan-and a Brave's fan, and a Hawk's fan but my personal favorite team, if I had to pick one-Atlantix oh yes my personal favorite team." His face is impossible to read before he breaks into a grin and laugh, Danny flipping him the bird but chuckling with him as he heads out into the afternoon.

[today-only-happens-once]

With Great Power - Chapter 2

Title: With Great Power – Chapter 2

First Chapter | Next Chapter | Read on AO3

Fic Summary: Thomas Sanders is just a regular social media personality. But when he gets bit by a spider during filming one of his YouTube videos, his whole life is about to turn upside down—whether he (or the aspects of his personality) want it to or not. Platonic LAMP/CALM + Character!Thomas. Spider-Man AU (but more the concept of Spider-Man and contains no spoilers for any particular movie/comic series).

Word Count: 3522

Chapter warnings: some panicking, arguing, cursing, some doubting of reality (briefly), discussion/use of Cartoon Therapy, some spoilers for Danny Phantom, vertigo/nausea mention, falling furniture.

A/N: 2019 is off to a crazy hectic start. Sorry for the wait. Hopefully it was worth it! Special shout-out to @creativenostalgiastuff for helping me when I got extra stuck in this chapter. Edited by yours truly, so all mistakes are mine. I would absolutely love to know what you think.

WGP Taglist: @captain-loki-xavier, @magicpanda31, @the-peculiar-bi-tch, @mining-pup, @band-be-boss-blog, @asexual-trashbag, @samathekittycat, @why-should-i-tell-youu2, @theobsessor1, @princelogical, @vigilantvirgil, @always3charcoaltea, @changeling-ash, @logical-princey, @crimsonshadow323, @flickering-raven, @smokeyrutilequartz, @dontbugmeimantisocial (I’ll be keep this taglist separate from my normal one for organizational purposes. Please let me know if you’d like to be added!)

Thomas’s chest feels tight and uncomfortable. He wonders somewhere in the back of his mind if passing out would mean falling to the floor or if he’d just wake up still stuck to the ceiling of his bedroom. Thomas attempts to pulls his hands off his ceiling—praying that his feet would still stick to the wall so that he wouldn’t fall face-first in the floor—but they don’t budge.

“Why can’t you let go, Thomas?” Virgil demands in that deep distorted voice, the words falling out of his mouth in a jumbled panic. “Just pull!”

“I’m trying, Virgil,” Thomas snaps, an edge of panic in his own voice. “It’s not that easy!”

“What do you---” Virgil cuts himself off, pulling at the strings of his hoodie. He takes a breath. “Can someone else get in here, maybe?”

Thomas wasn’t sure who he was expecting to come to their aid, but it certainly wasn’t all three of them at once. Virgil’s hood is pulled so low over his face that his eyes aren’t visible, but the other Sides aren’t looking at him anyway. Roman’s jaw falls slack at the sight of their host clinging to the ceiling with his feet against the wall. Patton scratches the back of his head, his brows pulled together in confusion.

Logan’s eyes are wide. “Fascinating,” he says quietly, mostly to himself, but the room is dead silent except for the Logical Side’s voice. “Utterly fascinating.”

“This is probably just a dream. It’s not like it’s real,” Thomas insists, although now that he’s said it out loud, he can hear in his own voice how much he doesn’t believe it. He looks desperately at Roman across the room for confirmation.

Roman shoots Thomas an apologetic grimace. “Uh…” He rubs the back of his head awkwardly. “I’m afraid that while I may be the dreamer here, it’s more in a more… figurative, metaphorical sense.”

“Regardless,” Logan supplies, “a guaranteed way to wake up while asleep is through experiencing the sensation of falling.”

Thomas feels his stomach squirm at the same time Virgil makes a sound in the back of his throat. “Bad idea,” Virgil snaps, his voice still distorted.

“Yeah, I don’t really want to faceplant into the floor and break my neck.”

Logan glances at the floor below Thomas, then back up at the host. “Unlikely to occur from that distance. Besides, if we’re careful, you may even land perfectly fine on your feet. And on the off chance you are dreaming, you won’t land at all. You will be awakened from your dream state.” He adjusts the knot of his tie. “While I must admit, Thomas, the likelihood that this is a dream seems predominantly rooted in wishful thinking rather than being substantiated in evidence, we might as well permanently remove that option from the list of reasonable explanations.”

Thomas sighs and squeezes his eyes shut. He can feel the blood rushing to his head from looking upside down at his personality traits, and it isn’t helping the vertigo. “Okay,” he says. “Except that I don’t know how to let go.”

Patton hums thoughtfully. “Well, what worked for the phone?”

Thomas hesitates, glancing at Virgil as he answers. “I… tried that breathing thing you taught me, and the phone just kinda fell.” Virgil meets Thomas’s gaze, his eyebrows raising slightly in surprise. Wordlessly, Virgil nods a little, and Thomas sees him close his eyes and take in a deep, slow breath.

Thomas’s legs swing off the wall. The slight pain in his shoulders from the sudden weight pulling him towards the ground reminds him of the times he’d hang limply from monkey bars as a kid.

“All right, Thomas,” Virgil says in a quiet, measured voice. “I think I’m gonna need your help getting us the rest of the way. Breathe in for four seconds.”

Thomas closes his eyes and follows his Anxious Side’s instructions. Virgil walks him through the exercise even though Thomas remembers it well. It’s oddly reassuring to hear the manifestation of his own Anxiety try to help him calm down. Like they’re in it together. Thomas can’t help but feel like that odd feeling of being less alone—even though Virgil is just a part of him—is really what helps ease the pit in his stomach.

Thomas yelps when Virgil gets to count 7 of breathing out as his fingers abruptly detach from the ceiling and he falls hard on the floor of his bedroom. He lands on his feet, but his legs aren’t ready for the sudden weight and collapse beneath him.

“Thomas!” Virgil cries out.

“I’m okay,” he assures him quickly, really not wanting to risk getting either of them worked up again. The last thing Thomas wants right now is to be stuck to the floor and have to go through it all over again. “Just surprised me. I’m good.”

All the same, Thomas doesn’t try to stand up just yet. He sits on the floor near some dirty laundry that hadn’t quite made it to the laundry basket in his closet and takes a deep breath. His mind is still reeling. He blinks a couple of times.

“You Gucci, Thomas?” Roman asks.

Thomas swallows. “I… don’t know,” he says honestly. “I mean… what the hell was that?”

“Well, we have confirmed one thing that it is not,” Logan supplies. “You fell, and yet are still here in this situation. Therefore, this is not a dream. It’s a reality.”

Thomas can feel Patton’s worried gaze linger on him as he pushes himself to his feet. The father figure figment’s eyebrows pull together. “So what does that mean?” he asks.

“A reality means that the events are not occurring within an imagined construction of thought or fantasy, but rather—”

“No, I—sorry. I didn’t mean ‘what is reality’,” Patton interrupts hurriedly, holding out his hands. “I meant, what does that… mean? For Thomas and… for us?”

The silence that meets the end of Patton’s question hangs heavy in the air. Thomas’s gaze flickers up across from him and falls on Roman. The Prince’s eyes are wide, and he holds Thomas’s gaze for a moment before he looks around at the other three. He scoffs with a note of incredulity.

“I mean… isn’t it obvious?”

Out of the corner of his eye, Thomas is pretty sure he sees Logan bristle slightly.  “To what are you referring, Roman?”

Roman raises his eyebrows as if genuinely surprised at everyone’s blank look. He gestures towards Thomas. “Thomas has super powers.”

Logan opens his mouth, then closes it, his eyes narrowing first at Roman and then at Thomas with something akin to curiosity.

Virgil rolls his eyes, but Thomas doesn’t miss the way his shoulders shift uncomfortably underneath his oversized hoodie. “Super powers?” he says. “You can’t be serious. Logan already established that this is reality. We’re not living in some comic book.”

Roman holds an overdramatic hand to his chest. “I’ll have you know, that conclusion is perfectly reasonable.”

“Explain,” Logan says, a finger on his mouth as if in deep thought. His eyes flicker briefly from Roman and back to Thomas. Thomas tries not to squirm under Logan’s steady, intense gaze. He feels like some sort of specimen under a microscope.

Roman gestures in a wide, sweeping arc towards Thomas. “It’s not as if normal people can stick to walls. And wasn’t it just yesterday that he was bit by a spider? A plus B equals C and all that.”

Virgil is shaking his head before Roman has even finished speaking. “Logan, isn’t it you who always said that correlation doesn’t necessarily mean causation?” His dark eyes flash a bit as he says it.

“Now, Virgil—” Patton tries, his voice placating, but Logan cuts him off.

“While that is true, Virgil,” he says slowly, “It was Sherlock Holmes himself who said ‘when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth’.”

“Ha!”

Logan continues, ignoring Roman’s shout of gloating victory. His gaze looks distant in thought. “Therefore, while it’s highly unlikely that Thomas gained any kind of superhuman capability from a simple spider bite, it cannot be entirely rejected as a possibility. The facts as they stand are that Thomas is not currently dreaming and he has exhibited capabilities that are beyond normal human ability. So far, that only includes sticking to phones, walls, and ceilings.”

Thomas stares at Logan. “Is the logical part of my brain actually saying that the idea that I might have super powers isn’t completely impossible?”

Logan flashes him a dry, unamused look. “Yes. This is already a highly improbable circumstance. The explanations in relation to it are likely to be equally improbable. Therefore, since I can’t definitively prove that super powers do not exist, I can’t fully rule it out as a possibility.”

“I…” Thomas starts to say, but trails off. He rakes a hand back through his hair and blows out a breath. He squeezes his eyes shut against his reeling thoughts. He has super powers? Does that make him like some kind of super hero? Is he supposed to crawl on walls and ceilings and drop down and somehow rescue people from…what? Some unidentified danger?

Thomas looks to his left towards Patton. His Moral Side is looking worriedly at him, his brows pulled together in thought. “Patton?” he asks, his voice sounding smaller than he expected it to, even to his own ears. “You doing okay with all of this?”

Patton sighs, averting his gaze with a small shrug. “Honestly, kiddo? I’m… not sure.” He glances up, then across the room towards Virgil. “Maybe we all just need a minute to process this.”

Thomas rubs the pads of his fingers over his eyes and shakes his head. “I…” he says. He knows that Patton may have a point, but it all feels like too much too fast. He suddenly wants everything to just stop for a minute, but it won’t and he knows it. “I don’t have time for this right now. Joan is waiting on me for filming.”

He snatches the pair of jeans and dark t-shirt he’d chosen from his closet and changes quickly.

“Thomas,” Patton says as Thomas tugs the shirt over his head with perhaps a bit more force than was really necessary, “Are you sure we shouldn’t… stay home for the day until we figure out what’s going on? We could tell Joan you… caught a bug?”

“Is now really the time for puns, Patton?” Logan asks dryly.

“I don’t know,” Thomas replies as he brushes past Virgil and snatches the phone off his bed. “Right now, I just want to focus on the things that I do know. So I’m gonna go film the rest of this Cartoon Therapy episode, and when I get back I’ll… we’ll figure it out.”

Even Logan looks a bit concerned as Thomas sits on the bed and jams his feet into the closest pair of sneakers he can find. “I’m not sure that is wise, Thomas.”

Thomas doesn’t reply as he pushes through the door and closes it behind him with an echoing bang.

…

“Sorry I’m late,” Thomas says as he rushes into the familiar office space half an hour later.

Joan already has the lighting fixtures and camera set up in front of the couch. Thomas drops his bag in the corner and shoves the bangs falling into his eyes back into his hair. He tries to flash Joan an apologetic smile, but from the way their brows furrow in concern, Thomas has the feeling it probably looked more like a grimace.

“It’s okay, dude,” Joan says. “You all right?”

“Yeah,” Thomas says, hoping he sounds more confident than he feels. For a brief moment, he thinks about telling them. But he wouldn’t even really know what to say, and he has a feeling that it wouldn’t exactly help Joan’s evident concern if he told them he’d somehow found his way stuck to the ceiling of his bedroom and that he now thinks he maybe has super powers. “Just… a weird morning,” he says instead.

He can feel their lingering gaze on him as he turns to grab his laptop out of his bag. “Wanna talk about it?” they ask.

“Not really,” Thomas replies honestly. “I think I should probably just focus on filming.” He sits in the chair across the brown couch and opens his computer, pulling up the needed software and studiously ignoring Joan’s eyes.

“Okay,” Joan says after a moment. Thomas feels his shoulders relax a bit. “I was thinking we’d finish up filming Elliot’s scenes nad get what we’re missing of Picani’s. We got the last of Corbin and Sloane yesterday, so we should be good on that. And Valerie is doing her filming tomorrow.”

As Joan walks through the schedule, Thomas feels himself nodding along and doing his best to not let his thoughts drift. The normalcy of it all—the familiarity of the office, the routine of filming, hearing Joan lay out a concrete plan for the next couple of days—helps quell the jitteriness he’d felt the entire drive over. He can focus on the things he knows. The things that are familiar to him. And as he does so, he feels like it’s a little easier to breathe.

“So what do you want to tackle first? Since it’s just us to film today, we can kinda do whatever,” Joan says.

Thomas shrugs. “I think Picani is gonna take longer, so maybe we should start with that.”

Joan nods their agreement, and Thomas grabs Picani’s costume and changes quickly in the bathroom before hurrying back. He adjusts the pastel green tie as he takes his seat in the office chair. Joan has the camera set up and Thomas glances into the viewfinder and adjusts his hair slightly as they grab the laptop and pull it up into their lap.

“You ready?” Joan asks.

Thomas gives them a smile, and it feels a little more natural this time. “Yeah.”

Joan tugs the beanie down a little as it starts to slide back on their head, typing a few thing on the laptop before nodding. “Cool. We’re picking up in the scene with Elliot, right?”

Thomas agrees, grabbing the notebook off the shelf behind him. Joan, carefully balancing the laptop on their legs, grabs the script off the floor. Thomas takes a steadying breath. “Elliot has the first line, right?”

Joan nods, flipping a few pages before they find it. They cast a quick glance up at Thomas to double check that he’s ready before reading the line. “’Wait, there are two Danny’s?’”

“’Well’,” Thomas says in that thick Midwestern accent, “One is Dani with an ‘i’ and the other is Danny with a ‘y’, but we’ll just call ‘Dani with an i’ Danielle for clarity’s sake.’”

“’Okay…That’s not confusing at all…’” Joan reads with that familiar sarcasm from Elliot.

“Bear with me, Elliot,” Thomas says, holding his hands out. “Now, Danielle was created by Vlad because Danny wouldn’t disown his parents and become his son instead. In the eyes of Vlad, Danielle was just a poor imitation of what he really wanted.”

Joan pauses before they read the next line. “How did she react?” their voice is quiet, subdued. Thomas feels the corner of his mouth quirk in sympathy that is somehow a blend of acting and his own actual reaction.

“She didn’t let it stop her from being who she was,” Thomas replies gently as Picani. “When Danielle found out, she helped bring Vlad’s plan to a stop and then committed herself to doing as much good in the world as she could.” Thomas pauses, knowing they’d want to cut in with Elliot’s reaction briefly. “Just because Vlad created her to be one thing didn’t mean she couldn’t define who she was for herself.”

“I…” Joan falters on the line. “Cool? Nope. Fuck. Hold on.” They laugh as they look down at the script. “I forgot the line.”

Thomas laughs, the serious ambience of the moment breaking. This is what he remembers and what feels safe: making things he loves with his friends. Being creative, having fun with them, and laughing their way through the mistakes during filming. It’s a comforting routine.

“Wait, okay,” Joan says. “I got it. Turn Serious Picani back on, Thomas.”

Thomas laughs again. “Is this where I say ‘Going Serious’? Instead of ‘Going Ghost’?” He crinkles his nose after he says it. “Doesn’t really have the same ring.”

Joan shakes their head, smiling. “You could do something like the Box Ghost.”

“I am Picani! Beware!” Thomas laughs again. “Pretty sure therapists shouldn’t be yelling at their clients to ‘beware’.”

“Yeah, you’re probably right.” There’s still a twinkle of amusement in Joan’s eyes.

Thomas shakes his hands out and takes a deep breath in an effort to get back into character. “Okay, okay. What’s the line?”

Joan glances down at the script. “I just don’t really know where to start.”

“That’s okay,” Thomas says encouragingly. “Figuring out who we are independent of who other people think we should be is no easy task. Danny struggles with this too. Stuck between half-ghost and half-human, Danny always feels caught between worlds. And he finds it hard to be himself when neither side wants to fully accept him.”

“Well that sounds familiar,” Joan says dryly.

Thomas gives a sympathetic smile. “But the important thing, Elliot, is that both Danny and Danielle learn to accept who they are, complications and all, and they do what they can to help others.”

There’s a quiet, weighted moment after Thomas has finished speaking. The words echo in his head for a moment. Accept who they are, complications and all, and they do what they can to help others. The events of the morning flicker back through Thomas’s mind briefly. The two blend together in a combination that swirls uncomfortably in his stomach.

Joan cracks a small smile. “I feel good about those takes,” they say, pulling Thomas out of his thoughts. “What about you?”

“Yeah,” Thomas agrees, shaking his head quickly in an attempt to clear it. “Yeah, I feel good about it. I, uh, I think I’m gonna grab some water real quick.” He stands up suddenly, the chair pushing back into the bookcase behind him in the process.

Everything seems to slow down around him.

A voice in his head that sounds an awful lot like Virgil yells Thomas, behind you! He ducks out of the way instinctively as the bookcase wobbles.

Joan shouts his name as it starts to fall forward. If it falls, it’ll hit Joan.

He reacts on instinct. His hand darts out, catching the corner of the heavy bookcase as it pitches forward.

Joan has their arms thrown up to protect themself from the falling shelves. Books, stuffed animals, and other knick-knacks fall to the floor and Thomas uses his one arm to pull the bookcase back to the wall.

“You okay?” Thomas asks, looking to Joan with worry and adrenaline.

It’s not until he sees Joan’s wide, surprised eyes as they lower their arms that Thomas realizes what just happened.

He shouldn’t have been able to stop a bookcase full of things from falling on Joan with just one hand.

And he definitely shouldn’t have been able to pull it back with just one arm. Not one that had taken both Thomas and Joan to move into the office space to begin with.

Thomas thinks he can actually feel the color drain from his face. Joan is staring at him.

“I, um, y-yeah,” Joan stammers out. “Yeah, I’m fine.” They open their mouth, their brows pulled together and head cocked as if they’re about to ask a question. They close their mouth a second later.

“Good,” Thomas says tightly. “That’s good.” The bookcase hadn’t even felt like it weighed anything at all.

Joan nods slowly, uncertainty and doubt simmering in their dark eyes. “Did… did you just… I mean, have you been working out or something?”

“What?” Thomas asks absently. The question breaks through his racing thoughts in the next moment. “Oh. Yeah.” He knows he doesn’t sound convincing and it’s all he can do to avoid cringing.

The tie around his neck suddenly feels too tight. Thomas tugs slightly on the knot, unable to help the way his hands shake slightly. He doesn’t know if it’s the lingering adrenaline from the bookcase almost falling on him and Joan or if it’s something else.

“Are you okay, Thomas?” Joan asks. Their voice sounds far away.

Thomas swallows. His chest feels tight, and it sounds like more than one voice in his head is telling him to get out of there. Joan’s intelligent, careful gaze certainly isn’t helping. “I just… need some air, I think,” Thomas replies. He’s half-way out the door before the words are out of his mouth.

“Do you—”

“I’m fine,” he insists. He doesn’t meet Joan’s eyes. “I’ll be fine. I just need to stretch my legs.”

He’s out the door before Joan can say another word.

[mylivejournalsucks]

College.

When i was Internet f****s briefly in my twenties, I got invited to speak at a bunch of colleges. And by “speak” I mean I was there to dole out advice to the students, make them lol, and eventually get drunk with them at an all-expenses paid dinner. As it turns out, colleges have lots of money allocated for speakers and whenever they’d ask me what my rate was, I’d be like, “????” I was so fucking clueless. I didn’t have an agent. The fact that these colleges were flying me out and offering to put me up in a three-star hotel made me feel Mariah Carey-level glamorous. I didn’t need any extra money! (JK, I asked for $500.)

Some of the schools were local, like Pace and FIT and Princeton. I found Princeton to be the darkest and also the chicest which…isn’t it always that way? The school had these things called dining clubs, which basically acted in the same way a fraternity or sorority would. You’d “rush” them and PRAY for an invite to the most exclusive club. And you guys? This just determined who you ate dinner with every night. It was like a non-negotiable high school cafeteria! Can you IMAGINE a more miserable scenario?!

I took the train in from the city and they put me up in this gorgeous house on campus that was reserved for their speakers. GORE VIDAL stayed there, you know? And then me, a dumb-dumb who wrote listicles about your crush texting you back. Anyways…. the people who asked me to speak ran the radio station. Princeton students are mostly preppy Patrick Bateman psychos but there were like five hipsters there who listened to Fleet Foxes and of course they were the ones who brought me.

After my talk, we went to the radio station and I watched them get wasted. I drank too, of course. Someone fed me an artisanal jello shot they had made in their dorm room. D.I.Y meets D.U.I., honey!

Most of the students confessed to me that they wanted to do something creative for a living but were stuck studying something practical like accounting or business. I had such a fondness for them. At 25, I was only a couple years older but there is NOTHING like the bubble of college. You don’t realize how small your world really is until you’re in The Real World and watching a girl in a headband drink a handle of Smirnoff vodka in an on-campus radio station while talking to you about how much she hates her stats class and how she doesn’t know if she’ll EVER get to lead the life she wants. I envied that naivete, as I was already a j-j-jaded BITCH.

Next, I flew to the University of Vermont. If Princeton was oppressive and tough, Vermont, was an organic farm-to-table cloud of relaxed whatever.  I loved it. My host took me on a tour of their gorgeousssss campus and after my talk, a whole bunch of us went out for the most delicious meal I’ve ever had in my life and then we may have went to a bar afterwards. It’s hard to remember the specifics of these visits but I can recall the feelings and they mostly were, “How did I get here? Do these people realize I have a drug problem and, like, four friends in New York and that my career is my boyfriend?”

It was true. My career was chic but my personal life was barely breathing by Duncan Sheik. Work kept me going, though. To have ambition, a drive, and goals, especially when a guy hadn’t touched my dick in three years and some of my friends were sociopaths with nice haircuts, it saved me.

Next, I went to Yale with the Thought Catalog crew: Brandon Gorrell, Stephanie Georgopulos and Gaby Dunn. We were there to talk about….sex? It was sex week? I don’t know, babe. It doesn’t matter because five people showed up and we were just like, “Do you want to go out for pizza?” So we did. I ADORED the girl who brought us to Yale. Her name was something chic like Demetria and she was from LA and her brain just had a nice, fizzy, snap crackle pop quality to it.

We went to the “after party” for our event and this boy in purple pants was circling me. The biggest mindfuck about this time in my life was having these fanboys who wanted to hook up with me, while I was literally invisible to strangers in New York. I was operating as either Ryan Gosling or Danny DeVito circa the Penguin mixed with Shrek and a splash of John C. Reily.

Anyway, this guy finally comes up to me and, boy oh boy, is he cute. He looks like he was made in a twink factory! We start talking—about what, who the fuck knows—before hightailing it to a gay bar. After a few drinks, I tell him I’m going to leave because my self-esteem is so low it’s basically underground. He kisses me right then and there because he’s young and cute and isn’t held back by anything.

We go back to his dorm room. He strips down to his underwear with such ease it stuns me. I’m three years older than him and it would take me two days, ten glasses of wine, a pitch black room and a NDA for me to have the courage to take off my shirt.

“Whoa, whoa,” I yell. “Um, I think we’re going too fast!”

Twinkle looks at me confused. “I’m just undressing before I get into bed. I can’t even hook up tonight. I’m going to DC early in the morning…”

Oh. Sigh of relief.

Are you confused by my attitude shift here? That makes two of us, hon. All I ever craved in my early twenties was sex and connection but the second they were offered to me, my bones would turn to crushed ice and I’d run away screaming.

“Can we cuddle though?” he asked.

“Sure.”

So we did. We cuddled. We made out. I grabbed his ass underneath his boxers and it felt perfect and tight. Then:

“Okay! Goodnight!” Twinkle turned off his light and continued to spoon me. Meanwhile, I lay there in the dark, terrified, wanting to leave, planning an exit strategy.

The hardest part about being that age was not understanding my psychology. My brain was like this unknowable freak on a leash. It was a saboteur who wanted to see me end up alone and I was five years, one disability confession, and 10,000 hours of therapy away from figuring out why.

Sitting there in the dark, getting spooned by a boy who found the whole thing to be so….uncomplicated, so easy, breezy, so natural, magnified my feelings of defectiveness. He probably did this all the time! He probably took boys home, fucked them, promptly fell asleep, and then walked them to their dorm room the next morning and kissed them goodbye.

How?

How do people do these things like they’re NBD? How are they not compelled to run away to Netflix and pizza and drugs? Don’t they know that it’s easier?

The reality was that it wasn’t easier. Keeping yourself alone is a full-time job everyone wishes they could get fired from.

“I have to go,” I said. Fantasies of me being back in my hotel room alone and not having to make small talk with a stranger in the morning were slow dancing in my head.

Twinkle jolted awake, already dozing off because, again, IT WAS THAT EASY FOR HIM!

“Huh? No. Just stay here. I’ll walk you back in the morning.”

“Nope. My train leaves early in the morning. It just makes more sense to leave now.”

He outlined a very logical argument where, actually, it made sense for me to stay at his place. ( Fucking Yale kids.) But this was not logical. This was pure nutso emotion. And I was going to leave.

When I did, I’ll never forget how this boy looked at me. It was just total confusion. I wanted to be like, “I’m sorry. It’s not your fault. It’s just my evil brain holding me hostage again. XOXO?”

A few months later, I ran into him at a gay bar in New York. He came on to me and I was so embarrassed about what happened at Yale, so embarrassed that he may have seen just how unhinged I really was, that I shut down any possibility of a sequel.

There were other boys like him. Boys who gave me opportunities to experience something real and human, but my brain put up a Closed sign and kicked them out. Then, eventually people stopped trying.

These college visits highlighted just how all over the place I was. Getting flown to different places because people thought I had something worthwhile to say, had some kind of wisdom to impart when, in reality, I couldn’t do something as simple as spend a whole night at someone’s apartment.

The thing is, I really did believe everything I wrote, I really did believe I had something to say. Whether that was true or not seemed irrelevant because I knew that if I ever stopped writing, if I ever stopped turning to my work to make sense of my stupid rat poison brain, I would have nothing.

So I kept going. I kept writing my way out of the shame cave until eventually I was mostly out of it. It all sounds very self-helpless but it’s true!  So keep being honest. Never shut up. If you’re president of the “I Hate Myself” club  speak so loud you’re forced to resign. Your words and your work will never hurt you. THEY ARE YOUR FRONDS. Turn to them for guidance and help.

Also, be truthful about your life. I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again: once you own everything, no one can take anything away from you.

[artificialqueens]

A Head, A Heart, & A Crown {Biadore} Chapter 13 -C*NT

A/N: I know I said last chapter we were going to pick back up in the Autumn, but then i got to thinking that perhaps Spring would be better so I wouldn’t cram so much into one season I guess you could say. So there are two time jumps this chapter, there was going to be two no matter what, but I felt in the end this just flowed better. There is a flashback this chapter as well, which will be in italic. TW for drug use (nothing too crazy, promise) and maybe angst? I worked hard on this chapter, if anyone has any suggestions for me to make my writing better, send me some feedback on my sideblog @theofficialcunt I’m always open to improving my craft. I hope you guys enjoy the next chapter. ✨❤️

Spring 2017

It was an unusually hot day in Los Angeles today, Roy noted. He was wearing a tank top and long black slacks; his normal boy attire.

The sun was shining brightly as he pulled out of his parking spot. He had just done another therapy session. After All Stars 2 had ended, Roy had felt even more isolated and alone; especially since Adore had not spoken to him after he confessed his love to her. He had gone to therapy once a week, whenever his schedule permitted it, so that he could start to feel better mentally again.

He was getting better, much better then how he was a few months ago, but he still had his moments. There had been an unhealthy routine that Roy had been following the last several months, but he had hoped it would get his mind off of things. He would come home completely plastered with some random guy he met at a bar most nights, especially after a gig. The next morning, he would always do the same thing: kick them out, have a bloody Mary and eggs for breakfast, and repeat the process.

Roy had thought fucking every man within a 10-mile radius of West Hollywood would help him forget about Adore, or at least numb the pain; but it did the exact opposite. He would catch himself wanting to scream Danny’s name instead of whatever foreign man’s name that was lying underneath him. There was just something about Danny he just couldn’t shake.

He sighed as he thought about how disapproving the therapist had been of his recent activities. She had suggested on numerous occasions for him to be single for a while, and to enjoy the moment. That way he could fully heal and move on, and hopefully into a healthy relationship.

He snapped out of his thoughts as he heard his phone start ringing. Roy rolled his eyes. He had literally just pulled out of the parking lot. He grabbed it and saw it was his manager’s number flashing on his screen.

He pressed the answer button, and then the speaker phone button quickly as he set the phone back down on his lap.

“Hello?” Roy answered annoyed. His manager always seemed to catch him at an inconvenient time.

“Bianca! You interested in making a little extra cash?” His booking manager David inquired.

“Depends. Extra cash from what sort of gig?” Roy questioned. He really didn’t want to do anything out of the ordinary today, whatever it was would have to be worth his while.

“Katya lost her voice-”

“Too much dick sucking again.” Roy mumbled.

David laughed loudly and Roy grinned. It was true. Katya liked to have a shit ton of sex, the only reason Roy knew this was because Katya had passed on some of her leftover men to him.

“Anyway, BOTS needs a host for tonight here in LA. Do you want to do it?” David asked with a hopeful tone.

BOTS. The tour that both Phi and Adore were on. On one hand, he loved any extra cash that he could bring in for himself and his dogs, and this was an easy gig since he had done it multiple times. There wasn’t too much preparation involved. On the other hand, did he really want to see Adore? And Phi Phi at that? He hadn’t heard anything from Adore in months, she never texted him back after he had texted her multiple times apologizing. He had wanted to mend the friendship but she was clearly not interested. He wasn’t sure he was exactly ready to see her with Phi Phi, who he didn’t have the best track record with.

This was the only break Roy had before he jetted off to Australia for the start of his Not Today Satan world tour. It was only a couple of days off for him this time, he had made sure to keep his mind occupied the last few months.

He had just started growing a little bit of stubble as well, after the recent time off. He had been enjoying not having to paint his face the last couple of days. He sighed. Maybe if he could actually talk to Adore before the show, they could mend whatever friendship they had left. Or at least make it so it isn’t so awkward.

“I’ll do it.” Roy finally said.

————–

Danny was setting up his makeup bag in the corner of the dressing room. It was her, Courtney, Jinkx, and Violet in this room. They were waiting on Katya, who usually situated herself next to Violet but she was running late tonight. Phi and Alaska were in Michelle’s room since they were considered the quieter queens.

“Where the fuck is Katya?” Violet complained as they set their bag down.

“No clue, it’s a bit odd for her to be late. Did you check the back? Maybe she’s outside smoking.” Courtney suggested as she started gluing down her brows, and applying primer to her face.

“I’ll check. That bitch still has one of my lipsticks that I really wanted to wear tonight!” Violet exclaimed as they walked out of the room.

Adore started coming out her brows and filling them in with dark brown eyeshadow. Recently, she had stopped gluing down her brows and just filling in and creating a more feminine brow instead. It wasn’t as “draggy” as it used to be, but with her new makeup style she felt a lot fishier on stage. She patted moisturizer onto her face and slid her hands down her neck, making sure to get every part of her skin saturated and prepped for her foundation.

The last 6 months had been a whirlwind. The cast for All Stars 2 had just been announced a few weeks ago, and she was already projected to be top 3. A lot of people were predicting different line ups and even betting money on who was going to win. Adore was excited and nervous to see how she would be portrayed this time on TV. She knew on her season she had gotten a fairly decent edit, but it wasn’t anything amazingly perfect like Bianca’s edit. She had hoped for the best, and was preparing herself for the worst all at the same time.

She started blending her foundation in to her skin, and in the mirror saw the door swing open. Who had walked through the door was the last person she was expecting.

“Guess who’s here to fill in bitches!” Roy exclaimed as he dropped his bag on the ground next to Violet’s station.

Adore froze in disbelief. She had not spoken to Roy since All Stars 2 had ended, when he had told her he loved her. She turned around slowly, and faced him for the first time in 6 months. Her heart was pumping incredibly fast as she locked eyes with him. This was clearly, not going to be her night.

“Well look who’s here, my hometown chola!” Roy ran over to her and wrapped his arms around her from behind. Adore stared at the two of them in the mirror and smiled faintly.

Fuck, those damn deep honey colored eyes. It was so easy to get caught up in them.

“It’s definitely been a minute.” Adore laughed nervously. “How the fuck are you?”

“I’m good, just here giving to charity; heard you guys needed a host.” Roy smirked. He squeezed Adore one last time before he moved on to the rest of the girls.

Jinkx and Courtney laughed while Roy grabbed his things, and took them to the end of the counter where his station was.

Suddenly, Violet reappeared through the back door towards the alley where the smokers usually were.

“Nope she’s not there, damnit. Hey-” Violet stopped mid-sentence as they saw Bianca sitting in the seat beside their station. “What are you doing here?”

Bianca rolled her eyes as she started going through her makeup routine.

“God that corset really cut off that blood flow to your brain didn’t it?” Bianca fired quickly.

Violet was rendered speechless and the room was filled with laughter. Bianca smirked proudly and continued to block out her eyebrow.

“Katya bailed so now we’re stuck with this hag.” Courtney joked playfully.

“The ABC’s of drag are back together again, this ought to be interesting.” Jinkx said hesitantly as she eyed Courtney. Courtney met her eyes and mouthed something unintelligible to Jinkx. She motioned for Courtney to go out in the hallway with her, and Adore raised an eyebrow. Courtney shrugged and left her station, she was practically done with her makeup anyway.

“What was that all about?” Adore asked confused as she finished adding her Martha Stewart glitter to her cheekbones.

The encounter was a bit odd, but maybe Jinkx had sensed that the two of them needed to talk. Now was Bianca’s chance. Courtney was gone so it’d be easier to have a private conversation.

“I don’t know but hey, can I talk to you for a second?” Bianca asked. She scooted her chair back and motioned towards the back door.

Adore’s heart started racing as she tried to keep her composure. She had a feeling this was goanna be another serious conversation.

“Sure B.” Adore smiled faintly as she got up from her station. She grabbed a cigarette out of her makeup bag, maybe that would help ease her anxiety.

“I’ll just be here I guess!” Violet huffed frustrated. Adore turned and mouthed sorry before she opened the backdoor.

The two queens walked outside and shut the door behind them. Adore put the cigarette in her mouth and cupped the end of it so she could light it properly. She inhaled and let the tobacco swim in her lungs before she released it back into the air.

“So what’s up?” Adore finally said after a few drags. The silence was odd, even for them not seeing or speaking to each other for months.

Bianca sighed and then she began.

“I just wanted to apologize for what happened a few months ago. It was wrong of me to do, and I really hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me. I’ve been seeing a therapist so, I’d like to think that now I’m a different person.”

Adore started processing what she had said. She had been going to therapy all this time? That was impressive, especially for a hot head like her.

Adore had mentally shut down after what had happened with Roy. That very night on her date with Phi Phi, she had gotten so drunk Phi Phi had to carry her through the door and set her on her bed. Roy had finally told her the things she had been waiting years to hear when it was already too late. She wished that he would’ve told her that, and that things happened differently. But now here they were, 6 months later at a show together, and there wasn’t one day Adore hadn’t thought about him.

“I accept your apology, that’s great. I’m really glad you’re still seeing someone and talking to them.” Adore started. “I’ve really missed having you in my life Willow. I just didn’t know how to deal with everything that had been happening.”

Bianca smiled hopefully as she studied Adore’s face. She seemed uncomfortable still, but the awkward tension that originally filled the room when she first walked in was gone to her relief.

“If you still don’t want to be friends I get it.” Bianca murmured.

Adore was staring down at her shoes and shifting from foot to foot, a nervous habit she had picked up while on tour. It was subtle enough for most people to not detect.

“That’s not the problem.” Adore sighed.

“What is the problem then?” Bianca asked.

After Bianca had basically gone off on Phi Phi before the final challenge, she had basically developed a personal vendetta against her. Phi Phi didn’t favor her very much because of the way she came at her, which Adore could understand.

“Well, Jaremi isn’t a huge fan of yours, after what happened.”

Bianca nodded her head in understanding. So this was it, she thought. At least she finally got some sort of closure after 6 months of silence.

She couldn’t deny that this still hurt her though. She really did not like Jaremi, and to this day thought he was wrong for Adore. He was too over the top, and could be really bitchy. He didn’t pay very much attention to what he was saying sometimes. The two of them were also very alike at the same time, fun and outgoing but could be introverts when needed. She supposed it was a Libra thing.

“But Jaremi doesn’t get to dictate who my friends are.” Adore said as she stomped on the last of her cigarette.

“Girl, you are an asshole you know that!” Bianca pushed her to the side playfully. She smiled wide, relieved to have Adore back in her life even if it wasn’t the most amazing friendship in the world right now. She watched the corner of Adore’s lip curl up as she smirked and felt complete for the first time in months.

—————

The girls were basically ready to go on stage when Michelle had decided to make an entrance. She nodded at everyone, approving of their outfits and squeezed Bianca close to her.

“Thank you for saving us tonight!” Michelle gushed.

“Oh it’s no problem. I had nothing better to do really.” Bianca laughed.

She saw Phi Phi giving her the side eye and had to fight a smirk from escaping her lips. Obviously, she was still threatened by Bianca as she noticed her piercing eyes glaring at her from behind her heavy silver bangs.

The other queens in the room laughed nervously and Michelle clapped her hands together, silencing any side conversations.

“Tonight’s a big night ladies. We have some of your families in the audience, so make sure to give this show your all!” Michelle encouraged.

“What? Who’s all here?” Adore asked confused.

“My great aunt is here, I’m sure she’s going to love my Bette Davis impression.” Jinkx winked.

“If she’s anything like you, she won’t be awake by the end of it.” Bianca snorted.

Jinkx glared at her, and Bianca curtseyed as the queens laughed at the exchange.

“Well, I figured I’d bring a certain someone’s family member backstage.” Michelle raised her eyebrows playfully.

Bonnie came walking into the dressing room and Adore’s eyes lit up.

“Oh my god, Mom! What are you doing here?” Adore exclaimed as she ran to hug her.

“Baby, I haven’t been to one of your shows in a while I just wanted to see you!” Bonnie squeezed her back and noticed Bianca over her shoulder. “Oh my god, Roy!” Bonnie’s eyes widened as she pushed Adore aside and ran up to squeeze Bianca.

“Gee, thanks mom.” Adore laughed as her mom ran to her ex-boyfriend. She never was that excited to see Jaremi, Adore thought absently.

Bonnie never called her Bianca in drag, it was always Roy. It never bothered her but she knew that some would find the exchange odd if they didn’t know any better.

“Hi Bonnie, it’s been awhile!” Bianca gushed as she squeezed her hard. She missed Adore’s mom, she was so full of life.

“You know you’re always welcome at my house with or without Adore. Come by and have some enchiladas sometime!” Bonnie smiled as she moved over to Phi Phi. “Phi Phi, I didn’t even see you there I’m sorry honey. I love the silver.” Bonnie exclaimed.

Phi Phi’s face had been disgusted as she watched Bonnie run to Bianca, Adore noticed. This was going to be a fun night after the show, Adore realized grimly.

“Okay guys, we’re on in 5. Good luck and don’t fuck it up!” Michelle winked and left the room.

“I guess that’s my hint to go back to my seat.” Bonnie muttered. The group laughed and waved goodbye to Adore’s

mom. Phi Phi moved over to Adore and pulled her close. Bianca rolled her eyes.

“Gosh Pheef, you’re being so lovey tonight, what’s up?” Adore asked as Phi Phi peppered kisses on her chest.

“I just want to show you that I appreciate you, that’s all.” Phi Phi said, eye’s never leaving Bianca’s. She grabbed her hand and kissed it softly, as Adore leaned her head on her shoulder.

Except Adore’s eyes weren’t on Phi Phi’s, they were on Bianca’s. Bianca smirked and raised her eyebrows as she walked away. Clearly she had gotten under Phi Phi’s skin, without even saying more than a couple of words to her. Adore didn’t need that kind of person as a partner, always stressing out over nothing. Maybe Phi Phi wasn’t the right one for her after all.

——————

“Now, let me introduce to you one of the most talented bitches in the industry, she’s funny, she’s sometimes as dumb as a rock-” Bianca joked.

It had been a smooth show, Bianca realized. Everyone stayed on schedule, no one had messed up in any numbers and they had kept the audience captivated pretty much the whole time. Adore was the last one tonight, which Bianca thought was odd; usually she was the opener to get the audience fired up.

“ Fuck you bitch!” Adore yelled on the mic from backstage. The crowd went crazy and Bianca threw her hands up pretending to be frustrated. Well the next guest was no surprise now.

“Clearly she’s known for her mystery.” Bianca started as she shook her head, and mouthed ‘not really’ to the audience. “Please welcome, Adore Delano!” Bianca roared as she exited the stage.

Whether or not they were on the best terms at the moment, Bianca was thankful that she was able to share the stage with Adore again. She walked back stage and decided to watch the show, since Adore was the last performance of the night. Maybe afterwards they could talk.

Adore ran out on stage in a long blonde wig, with curls cascading down her back, and the black dress they had bought together while shopping a few months ago. Bianca was excited that she was wearing it, maybe it meant that Adore was happy to be friends again. The sequins shimmered under the stage lights as Adore swayed back and forth to the beginning notes to one of her songs.

Dynamite started to blare on the speakers, and Bianca stood backstage and watched her interact with her fans. She was so charismatic and charming. Each and every one of her fans had a big grin on their faces as they cheered her on. She wished that hers and Jaremi’s relationship would just play out already, because the minute it did she would do everything to get Adore back.

Suddenly, after a few lines the music stopped playing and Bianca looked around confused. All of the queens backstage were giggling excitedly.

Adore was looking around confused as well. She then saw Jaremi approaching the stage, not in drag for some reason.

“What the fuck? What are you doing?” Adore looked around nervously. The audience was shrieking with excitement; you could barely hear Adore on the mic.

It was that moment Bianca saw Jaremi in a fitted blazer and black slacks, holding something behind his back.

The crowd was shrieking and Bianca was still confused. Why did her song stop? What was Jaremi doing? It wasn’t hitting her what was actually happening, maybe because she didn’t want it to..

“Is there something wrong with the sound?” Bianca asked one of the backstage crew workers.

“You could call it that.” The crew worker smirked.

Great how fucking vague, Bianca thought.

“Adore, I know we haven’t been together a very long time but I feel like we have something special.” Jaremi started.

“W-what…” Adore trailed off.

Jaremi pulled out a small black velvet box from behind his back and Bianca’s entire world crashed around her. She felt her heart sink to their lowest depths as she watched Jaremi grin widely at Adore.

He was proposing.

He was fucking proposing!

He got down on one knee, and Adore looked around the room frantically.

Bianca’s chest was tight, she felt like she couldn’t breathe as she watched Jaremi smiling with such love for Adore.

Was this really what Adore wanted? Bianca thought. All Bianca wanted to do was run, but she couldn’t keep her eyes off of them. She so badly wanted to run on stage and stop it, but if this was what Adore wanted then she would leave it be. Her heart was beating so fast, tears threatening to spill over and ruin her stacked lashes. She wished Adore would give her some signal that she didn’t want this.

“Adore, will you marry me?” Jaremi asked.

The crowd was holding their breath.

Please say no.

Please say no.

Please, Bianca thought desperately. She bit her lip to stop it from trembling, her signature trait whenever she was about to cry.

All Adore could think of in that moment was Bianca. She had just seen her a few minutes ago as she introduced her to the stage. She had always thought that this moment would be happening with Roy, not Jaremi. Adore never thought her rebound off of Roy would turn into this.

Where was Bianca now? Would she stop this from happening? Does she even care about what’s happening? She had to be watching, Adore looked around frantically to see if she could find Bianca anywhere. To her dismay, she wasn’t met with the artificial blue eye’s she wanted to see since she couldn’t find them.

Bianca wondered who Adore was looking for, as she kept whipping her head around. Maybe she was just trying to soak in the moment. Maybe she was looking for her mom.

Adore had absentmindedly wondered why Bonnie had come to the show tonight, but didn’t think anything of it.

Now she knew why.

It was like he did this on purpose, in front of a huge crowd, and in front of her mom so that she couldn’t possibly say no.

She waited a few more seconds for Bianca to intervene or anyone really, but no one did.

“Y-yes.” Adore finally managed to say.

Adore had finally looked behind her where she finally made eye contact with Bianca. She had seen the whole thing and didn’t stop it. Bianca’s eyes were glossy, her arms crossed as she locked eyes with the love of her life.

She said yes.

She said yes.

She fucking said yes.

That’s all Bianca could think about as she gazed into Adore’s eyes.

Something in her eyes wasn’t right though. They weren’t filled with joy or excitement, just some other emotion Bianca couldn’t put her finger on.

It had felt like minutes that they were staring at each other, but it was really milliseconds, as the crowd roared and Adore turned her head back towards Jaremi, who had slid the ring on her finger.

All of the queens ran on stage to engulf her in a hug. The crowd was roaring, Jaremi was crying happy tears, and then there was Adore; fake smiling and laughing with everyone. She was young, and unsure of if she really wanted to get married right now, but how could she possibly say no. She noticed Bianca wasn’t on stage with the rest of the queens, and when Adore turned back around to search for her, she was gone.

Autumn 2017

It had been over 6 months since the last time Roy had really spoken or hung out with Danny. Over a year since they had really been friends. Over a year since he confessed his love to him.

Since the BOTS tour, Roy had thrown himself into his work. He had finished filming his movie Hurricane Bianca, and had been promoting it all over the country. He also had just finished his North American leg of his new tour, Not Today Satan’ which had gotten amazing reviews. His career was completely blowing up, and he had worked very hard for it.

Even with all of his crazy schedule changes, he still got to go to his therapy appointments in LA. The therapy had helped him a lot, and now he was slowly being weaned off of his medication. He felt like a completely different person.

He gulped nervously as he pulled up to the parking garage near the theatre. Today he would have to see Danny, and possibly work with him. For some reason he was feeling really nervous and uncomfortable about the possibility. It was the All Stars 2 reunion, complete with all of the winning queens of the past seasons and pretty much every drag queen that wanted to be there would be there. Including Jaremi, since now him and Danny had been dating over a year, and pretty serious since they were now engaged. He was really surprised it had lasted as long as it did, but they obviously had something in common he supposed.

He parked his car, and grabbed his suitcase and finale dress from the backseat. He walked down the stairs and across the street to the theatre, hoping he had gotten there early enough to be one of the first ones there. He needed to mentally prepare himself.

He showed the doorman his VIP pass, and walked into the dressing room area where he could hear someone rehearsing.

He knew that voice anywhere. It brought him back to one of the worst times of his life, but yet that very same voice was the only one he would listen to on repeat, even to this day. He checked his watch and looked back up confused as the song echoed throughout the hall. It was still pretty early, especially for him.

He entered the room quietly and set his things down, when the voice slowly tapered off and finished the song. It was I.C.U. which was one of the most beautiful and raw songs Roy had ever heard.

“That’s my favorite song off of your album.” Roy broke the silence as he leaned against the door frame.

Danny jumped and turned around startled. His eyes were bloodshot, accenting his prominent dark circles and his long hair was a messy frame around his face. He looked like he was completely fucked up out of his mind.

“Holy shit! How long have you been there?” Danny asked startled.

“Not long. I didn’t think of you as an early bird.” Roy smirked, noting how flustered he made him.

Danny shrugged as he quietly observed him. The last time he had seen Roy was the night Jaremi had proposed to him. He had wondered how he felt about them, but the silence on social media was a dead ringer after a while. He obviously wasn’t happy he was engaged, more specifically to Jaremi. Roy amazingly never changed though, he still looked the same as when they had met almost four and a half years ago. He still had that mischievous look in his eye that Danny had grown to love.

“There’s a lot you don’t know about me Roy.” Danny murmured running a hand through his hair. It was basically a mullet on him at this point, but he was trying to bring the grunge movement back so he was working with it.

“I can just move down the hall if I’m making you uncomfortable.” Roy said nervously as he started picking his things up. There was another dressing room that he had hoped was empty at this point. This was so awkward.

“No, no it’s fine.” Danny said as he staggered towards Roy. He started laughing hysterically after he almost tripped over himself, and Roy raised an eyebrow.

He noticed he wasn’t wearing his engagement ring today, which had been oddly understated to begin with; it was just a simple rose gold band. Trouble in paradise perhaps? He realized Danny probably didn’t even know what he was saying.

“Exactly how fucked up are you queen?” Roy asked really observing Danny for the first time. He looked incredibly thin, which was surprising because of how much Danny loved junk food and pizza. His shirt was hanging off of his shoulder where his collar bone jutted out, and his skinny jeans hugged his new slender frame.

“Just a ta-aaaad.” Danny drew out his words. Roy sighed and grabbed his arm.

“Come on. We need to sober you up. This is a big day for you. Where the hell is Jaremi?” Roy asked as he drug Danny through the door and outside.

“He doesn’t come in until 1. God you’re still so bossy Roy.” Danny giggled.

Roy smirked and remembered how he bossed him around at their season 6 finale.

———

“Why aren’t you dressed yet?” Bianca asked as she grabbed Adore’s long black dress off the rack.

“Girl, we just got back here basically. Chill.” Adore rolled her eyes as she took a sip out of her drink. She had already changed her wig and makeup to match the longer dress. She thought her long bright red wig would be unique but still pretty enough for the finale.

Bianca snatched the drink out of her hand and poured it in the trash.

“What the fuck? What’s your damage?” Adore got up annoyed. She flipped her hair over her shoulder and crossed her arms as she glared at Bianca.

“You do realize we have to be back out on the main stage in 10 minutes right?” Bianca grumbled annoyed. Adore was known for being notoriously late, but tonight was not one of those nights. Especially if Bianca had anything to say about it.

“Oh shit! Really? I thought we had a longer break then that.” Adore quickly jumped up. She started trying to unzip the current dress she had on, but was failing miserably at removing it. The zipper kept jamming as Adore sighed with frustration.

“Here, I’ll help you.” Bianca started unzipping Adore’s dress easily and gently pulled it off of her. Adore kicked it off quickly and Bianca had already put the dress over her head. Adore roughly pulled the dress down over her padding and curves and Bianca gasped sharply.

“Careful, careful! This fabric is not cheap queen!” Bianca ordered as Adore was wiggling into it. She started pulling it down her torso slowly and smoothing out the fabric.

“Holy slit Batman.” Adore exclaimed at the thigh high slit Bianca had made. Her legs looked incredibly long in the garment, which was a nice change. The fabric draped her shoulders beautifully and the dress hit the floor, even with her platforms.

“Is it too much?” Bianca asked concerned as she got down on the floor and straightened out the train.

“Fuck no, I feel fucking sexy. This was your plan all along wasn’t it?” Adore grinned as she stared at herself in the full length mirror. The slit was basically up to her hip, on the side where Bianca would be able to see her exposed leg since they were sitting ABC style.

“Oh please queen.” Bianca laughed, blushing as she admired her work on Adore. She had done a good job if she could say so herself.

“I can totally flash the crowd in this now thanks to you.” Adore smirked as she opened and closed the opening of the slit. Bianca’s eyes wandered to her tucked bulge and noticed just by moving the fabric to the side you could basically see everything.

“Can you not do that?!” Bianca yelled. She didn’t want a bunch of strangers seeing Adore’s penis, she had made the dress for her own viewing pleasure. Not everyone else’s.

“God, you’re so bossy!” Adore exclaimed. Bianca laughed and started to walk away. She had to be to get this queen anywhere on time, she thought.

“You’re welcome.” Bianca cackled as she walked away in her matching black sequin dress.

———-

“Where are you taking me?” Danny whined. Roy was still dragging him by the arm down the streets of L.A.

“There’s this really good burrito shop that I used to go to all the time. I think a nice fat burrito will help you sober up.” Roy stated.

They walked around the corner and the shop was only a couple of feet away. Suddenly Danny stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and Roy huffed annoyed.

“Come on, let’s go.” Roy urged frustrated. Danny wouldn’t move however.

“Roy, I’m too stoooooned! Can you order for me?” Danny giggled.

Roy sighed. Seriously? This was why he never had kids, he thought.

“Only if you promise me one thing.” Roy demanded.

“Uh okay… what is it?” Danny asked.

“You need to tell me why the FUCK you’re high as a kite at 10:00 in the morning!” Roy exclaimed. Danny jumped back startled and put his hands over his ears. People walking by were staring at the exchange, amused.

“Ow, Roy, you’re being too loud.” Danny complained.

“Oh so you’re hungover too? You have a lot of explaining to do. I’ll be right back.” Roy snapped and went into the burrito shop to get Danny the greasiest burrito that was on the menu.

Why wasn’t Jaremi with him? Roy pondered. Not that he minded helping Danny, but he didn’t understand why he was doing what his fiancé should be.

Roy’s feelings for him haven’t faltered, despite him being engaged. He was still waiting, even after all of this time. He knew Courtney felt terrible every time Danny would post a picture of the two of them on Instagram or Twitter. She would text Roy ‘sorry!’ every single time.

Roy was still upset with Courtney for not telling him the night Jaremi had proposed. After he ran out of the stage area, he packed his things quickly and went home. Courtney stopped by later that night and tried apologizing but he wasn’t having it. He ended up yelling at him, and then kicking him out. Roy didn’t leave his bedroom until he had to leave for his Australian tour.

He was worried about Danny though. He looked like he hadn’t been eating very much, and he looked extremely stressed out. He studied him sitting on the bench outside of the shop looking down at his phone. He frowned at whatever he was staring at on his screen and Roy’s heart ached. Something wasn’t right. The burritos were finally ready and he grabbed them quickly, tipping the worker and he stepped back outside.

“Come on, let’s go back to my car and eat.” Roy said gently. Danny got up almost automatically and they walked back to his car which was a few blocks away.

It was awkwardly silent the whole walk back to the car. Roy scanned through his Instagram as they walked, nothing too over the top was happening yet. He knew later it was going to get crazy.

Roy hit the unlock button on his key and they slid into the vehicle. He handed Danny his burrito and started taking the foil off of his.

“He’s so negative. I have to prepare myself by getting really high every morning.” Danny said. He looked over at Roy who was now studying him intently.

“Who is?” Roy asked.

“Jaremi. Like, everything is always woe is me and it really kills my vibe man.” Danny shrugged as he bit into his burrito.

Well… That wasn’t good.

“Can I say something and you do not get offended?” Roy finally said after a little bit.

“Sure.” Danny said in between bites of his burrito. He was eating it like he hadn’t eaten in days.

Roy frowned at how quickly he devoured his food and was mentally cursing himself for not ordering 2 burritos for him. He sighed and let Danny hear what he had to say.

“I don’t think you should have to get as high as you are right now, to be able to tolerate someone. Whether or not they’re your fiancé.” Roy said.

Danny pondered over that for a minute. Him and Jaremi are really alike, and Jaremi liked to party a lot as well. So Danny found him more tolerable sometimes when he was completely fucked up out of his mind. It was just his way of preparing for him to come back into town. He didn’t think it was terrible, but Roy could hardly say he knew him so what did he know about his relationship?

“I just like to have fun Roy, it’s no big.” Danny shrugged it off.

“You didn’t get this high before our reunion.” Roy argued.

Danny was obviously in denial. He never had to get this high even with his friends, he shouldn’t have to do this to tolerate his potential life partner.

“Whatever man. Why are you helping me anyway? We haven’t spoken or hung out in over a year.” Danny snapped.

“Because no matter how much time passes, I’m still your friend Danny. I’m always going to be here to tell you things, even if you don’t want to hear it.” Roy said annoyed. He started his car and they pulled out of the parking lot in silence.

Danny had finished his burrito, and was sitting in the passenger seat quietly. His year had been very different from Roy’s. He had toured all over the world again with Battle of the Seasons, and had practically burned himself out. He hadn’t really been eating much, and Jaremi had been so upset about the way he was edited on All Stars that he was being extremely manic. He was also pressuring him to pick a date for the wedding, which he didn’t really want to right now with his After Party album tour coming up in the winter. He thought he sensed some jealousy as well when they watched the episode with him and Bianca, because they had edited it to make it look like they were a couple. He had really been stressing Danny out lately.

“Did you watch All Stars?” Danny broke the silence. Roy smirked and looked at Danny out of the corner of his eye.

“Did I watch All Stars? Of course I did queen. You were on it.” Roy laughed.

Danny smiled and then realized that meant he saw her snatch game episode.

“What did you think of snatch game?” Danny asked shyly meekly covering his eyes.

Roy laughed loudly as he parked his car in front of the theatre.

“I was in tears. It was so fucking funny, you really studied me before you did it, didn’t you?” Roy smiled.

“Well I spent so much damn time with you on the road it was pretty easy.” Danny chuckled. Roy blushed and unbuckled his seatbelt. It had felt like the old days within 30 minutes of hanging out.

“Are you feeling better?” Roy asked sincerely.

“Yeah, I am. Thank you for sobering me up. Maybe…” Danny stopped.

“Maybe what?”

“Maybe we can hang out again sometime. I’ve really missed you.” Danny confessed.

Roy could feel his heart swell with happiness for the first time in a long time.

“I’d love that. We need to catch up anyway queen. But first, we should start getting ready.” Roy suggested as they got out of the car. He checked his watch and realized their burrito adventure had taken almost an hour.

“Party.” Adore said. Roy smirked and they walked in unison back into the theatre.

————–

“I need to see Bianca Del Rio, Violet Chachki and Jinkx Monsoon in room B.” One of the producers called.

Bianca looked around at Jinkx and Violet who looked equally as confused, and got up after the producer called. She had just finished her makeup and was about to put her wig on. She scooted her chair out from her station and followed the producer and other queens into the room.

“What’s going on?” Bianca asked as he noticed Chad Michaels was also in the room with them.

“You are all going to be crowning the potential winner tonight.” the producer said.

Jinkx jumped up and down and clapped her hands. “Oh that’s so exciting!” Jinkx exclaimed.

“Why us? Why not Ru or Chad?” Bianca asked confused.

“You and Chad will both be crowning the winning queen. I just want to go over the protocol with you guys.”

The producer explained how everything was going to go down, and Bianca and Chad rehearsed it a few times in front of everyone so that they were satisfied. The other queens then took their turns rehearsing. As silly as it was, it was just better to go through the motions to make it easier when they were on stage, in case any of them got nervous.

“So then who’s crowning who?” Violet asked.

“I’m glad you asked. Jinkx will be crowning Alyssa, Bianca will be crowning Adore, and you will be crowning Katya.”

Bianca’s eyes widened. She would be the one crowning Adore? Holy shit, talk about coming full circle.

“Any other questions?”

“I t-think we’re good.” Bianca stuttered as she smiled politely.

————–

Bianca couldn’t believe she would be the one crowning Adore. It was a tremendous honor but she was incredibly nervous now. She had a feeling she was going to get emotional.

Bianca went outside where some of the queens that were smoking were, and grabbed a joint out of her pocket. She really needed to take this time to calm herself down before she had an anxiety attack. She flicked her lighter, making the flame appear and pressed the flame to the butt of her joint, which was finally lit after a few battles with the wind.

She inhaled the fumes from the marijuana and let it exit her lungs slowly in a large cloud of smoke. She sighed deeply and tapped the joint against the wall to get the ashes to fall off.

She had gotten a prescription card for marijuana at the end of last year, after Danny had rejected him and not spoken to her until this summer. She had no other outlet other than smoking now, and she loved the strains that would actually help relax her. She didn’t do it too often now, since her emotions had been under control for the most part, but when she was feeling extra anxious she would spark up to calm herself down.

“I guess I really am a bad influence.”

Bianca turned and saw Adore leaning against the wall smoking her own joint. A huge cloud of smoke leaked out of her mouth and she smirked.

“I wouldn’t say a bad influence.” Bianca smiled.

“You’re right, you probably need it just as much as I do right now.” Adore laughed. She walked over next to Bianca who took another hit.

They smoked together in silence for a few minutes, blowing thick clouds of smoke at each other. Bianca could feel herself relaxing as she took another drag.

“How are you feeling?”

“I-I’m okay. Better than earlier. Nervous, but who wouldn’t be?” Adore shrugged.

Bianca raised an eyebrow at the stutter. Tonight was a big night for her. Adore probably felt like this time she had gotten this far on her own, and without a lot of help from the other queens.

“Is Phi Phi excited for you?” Bianca asked.

“Oh yeah definitely.” Adore smiled wide. Her eyes however, told another story. Roy studied how they were darker then they usually were.

“Come on Delano, spill the T. What’s wrong?” Bianca pressed.

Adore looked around to make sure no one was paying attention to them and then grabbed Bianca’s arm. She took her further away from everyone so she could talk to her more privately.

“Dude, Jaremi is thinking about leaving. He’s still super pissed about how he was edited so I feel like he’s going to just leave. He wants me to go with him. But like obviously, I don’t want to. I don’t know what to do.” Adore panicked.

Bianca was pissed. If Jaremi had a vendetta with the editors, that was their issue not Adore’s. Adore was in line for the crown, and could possibly win tonight. Adore took another long drag off of her joint and exhaled the smoke out slowly. Bianca sighed heavily.

“I’ll talk to him.” Bianca said firmly as she started to walk back towards the dressing rooms.

“No, B it’s not a good idea-”

“Adore, baby there you are!” Jaremi called as he closed the backdoor to the dressing room. His smile faltered when he saw Bianca approaching

“You. Me. Talk.” Bianca snapped her fingers towards the corner.

“Bianca, please don’t.” Adore whined.

“What’s going on?” Jaremi looked wearily between the two queens.

“Adore isn’t going with you. If you want to leave, by all means go for it but she has a chance to get $100,000 and a fucking crown.” Bianca snapped.

“Excuse me?” Jaremi huffed.

“Bianca stop.” Adore raised her voice. Bianca looked at her, concerned and then continued.

“Think about it Jaremi. If she leaves, you guys will lose the chance to have $100,000 for your wedding, a house, etc. She has a one in three chance. ” Bianca explained more calmly, as much as she wanted to scream at him right now, now was not the time or place. Some of the other queens outside were watching them carefully.

Adore was watching the exchange between the two of them carefully. She didn’t know how Bianca truly felt about Jaremi, but she wasn’t being too harsh on him. She thought she was going to completely lose it on him. Jaremi wasn’t losing it on her either, which was surprising since he was so jealous of their past relationship.

“Why don’t you mind your own business Roy? Adore can make her own decisions, right babe?” Jaremi looked towards her with pleading eyes. Bianca rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. She made eye contact with Adore and hoped that she would make the right decision.

Adore was looking back and forth between the two of them. Jaremi just wanted her support, which wasn’t overall a horrible thing to expect on his part.

However, Bianca wanted her to stay because she would be walking away from an amazing opportunity if she left. She was so close to the crown yet again. They were like the devil and angel on each shoulder, pulling her in different directions.

“Jaremi, I want to stay.” Adore finally said.

Bianca had to keep a smile from creeping up on her face. She was so happy she had made the right decision.

Jaremi frowned and nodded his head.

“Okay. Whatever. We’ll talk later. Good luck.” Jaremi grabbed the door handle and went back inside, slamming the door behind him.

Adore frowned as she watched the door shut and walked away sighing. Bianca followed her confused.

“Adore? Aren’t you going to go after him?” Bianca asked bewildered.

“Fuck no man! He’s being so fucking selfish right now. I’ll see him later tonight and we’ll deal with it then.” Adore shrugged.

“If you would have left you would’ve regretted it forever.” Bianca murmured. Adore looked at Bianca and smiled faintly.

“Yeah, you’re probably right. Thanks for always looking after me B.” Adore blushed.

“Anything to keep those cheeks pink queen.” Bianca teased as she grabbed Adore’s cheeks and squeezed them.

“Ow, you bitch!” Adore laughed as she smacked her arm away. She immediately covered her mouth after she did it and Bianca looked at her confused.

“I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to do that.” Adore apologized as she grabbed Bianca’s arm and stroked it soothingly.

“No, Adore it’s fine. I’m better now.” Bianca murmured. Adore looked into her dark eyes and realized she was telling the truth. She was still stroking her arm soothingly as she kept gazing into the older queen’s eyes.

Bianca could get lost in Adore’s hazel eyes, but she was spoken for now. It was wrong to put Adore in that position. She grunted awkwardly and pulled her arm away, breaking whatever spell they were under.

“Well, you should probably go get ready queen.” Bianca suggested.

Adore nodded her head.

“You’re right. You too. I’ll see you out there?” Adore questioned.

“You’ll just have to wait and see.” Bianca winked as she walked back into the dressing room. Adore watched her leave and lingered outside for a little bit longer.

She couldn’t believe that Phi Phi had left her here, on one of the biggest nights of her life because she felt like she was edited unfairly. If she felt unsafe in the environment and needed to leave, that’s totally fine. But she shouldn’t have expected her to go with her, like Bianca had said.

Just thinking about Bianca was making her feel guilty. She knew she still had something there for her, and she felt it as soon as they touched.

As long as nothing physical happened, flirting a little bit wasn’t a bad thing right?

This was bad, she thought. This was really bad.

[cliffordsteblg]

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[barbaras-mermaid-cove]

Cheer Up the Ghost Boy 3 - Vlad’s Mansion

Recap: Sam and Tucker have tried to find a way to cheer up their depressed friend, Danny. But unfortunately, Danny's worst enemy Vlad has returned to try and clone him once again, so that Vlad can have an obedient son (Danny refused to be his son because he's loyal to his biological family. Also, it's because Danny is good and doesn't want to be evil like Vlad). Warning: Torture.

Vlad had Danny in his clutches, holding him by the arm roughly. They were flying high above Amity Park. Vlad snorted at the citizens below him. The citizens were staring up in awe and possibly fear at the vampire-resembling ghost. And since he was holding Danny Phantom like a disobedient son, they began to assume the ghosts were related. "Clone me again, Vlad?" Danny said, staring up defiantly at the older man. "Didn't that fail last time?" "You're right Danny, it did." He said, with a hint of sarcasm. "That was months ago. Since your empty little head can't figure it out, I improved my cloning since we last met. THIS time, it won't fail." "Right... What makes you think the clone will obey you? I didn't agree to be your son. What makes you think he will?" "Oh, he will..." Vlad said mysteriously. Great. Was he going to put it through shock therapy or something? Danny shuddered. The thought of Vlad abusing someone who looked just like him made the teenager uncomfortable. They arrived at Vlad's house. As soon as Danny's feet hit the ground, he pulled hard to try and break free from the man's grasp. He didn't succeed. Vlad, in reaction, pulled him back and sent a wave of shocking pain through him. Danny grit his teeth together. Stopping the shockwave, Vlad leered at the boy condescendingly. Danny panted, toasted and bruised. He'd reverted back to his human form: black hair, blue eyes, white shirt, blue jeans, and red and white shoes. "Now, are you ready?" Danny glared up at him. If he went, Vlad would clone him and put his clone through a lot of pain until it agreed to be his son. If he refused, Vlad would torture him on the spot, weakening him further. Danny decided that if he had any hope of escape, he needed at much strength as possible. Maybe he would be able to save the clone too... "Alright, Vlad." Danny said emotionlessly. They walked down the steps of Vlad's mansion into the basement. Vlad didn't waste time and asked Danny politely to get into the cloning machine. He attached the metal cuffs to the boy's arms and legs. Danny kept his breaths even. He knew that he should keep calm, thus saving all of his energy for the escape. Vlad turned on the machine, a familiar buzz showing that the machine was warming up. Danny felt his feet get hot. The hot feeling spread throughout his entire body. It burned him. He cried out in pain. Danny struggled in his cuffs. He resisted. It was too much. He felt tears pool in his eyes, tears which never got to flow down his cheeks, as they evaporated from the heat. The teen felt his whole body shudder. Over the pulsing of the electricity, Danny heard his nemesis cry out. "Are you ready to give in yet?!" Danny grit his teeth together harder. He pulled at the shackles that held his wrists. "GRR! NEVER!" Danny shouted. Vlad looked back in shock before his face hardened in anger. He turned the dial of the machine to a higher setting. Danny cried out louder and higher in pitch. His unsurfaced tears flowed more intensely. He thought he couldn't bear it any longer. Then he blacked out. When Danny regained consciousness, he was face to face with creepy blue eyes. He recoiled, half from disgust, half from fear. "Is it over?" Danny managed in a weak voice. Vlad chuckled. "You are surprisingly strong, Daniel. I was not able to successfully clone you. Perhaps next time..." Vlad turned and began to walk out of the dungeon/basement. Danny's eyes widened significantly. "Wait! You can't just leave me here!" Vlad looked back, with an expression of resentment and cruelty. Danny's stomach sank. "...Please." Vlad turned around. He was testing to see if the child was pulling a trick or was serious. He walked up close to the boy. He cupped his face with one hand so that he could see his expression clearly. "Please... I-I'm a-afraid..." This wasn't happening. Why was he doing this? You're stronger than this, Fenton. Stronger. You... you don't need to... "Afraid...?" Vlad said mockingly. Though he was curious. He stood a while in silence, pondering. "Afraid of what?" Danny felt hot tears flow down his cheeks. He choked on a sob. Stronger, Fenton! He reprimanded himself. Vlad started to guess. "Afraid of the dark...? Of being alone?" Danny nodded, not being able to speak. "You don't have to be alone," Vlad said. "If you agree to be my son. We could be a family..." Danny felt a surge of anger. The last time Vlad had given that speech to him, he'd threatened to murder Danny's father and planned on marrying Maddie, Danny's mother. Not to mention, he'd hit Danny when he couldn't defend himself. Stay strong, Fenton. Stay strong... His inner monologue spoke to him. Danny shook his head. "I... can't." He closed his eyes, instinctively drawing back, preparing to be hit or shocked with more electricity. Vlad studied the boy. He didn't move to hit him. Instead he waited for Danny to open his eyes, and smiled. "Such courage... I admire that." Vlad admitted. Danny, taken by surprise, and confused, waited for the half-ghost to make his next move. It was like a game. It was always like a game when it came to Vlad. "Tell you what, dear boy. Instead of zapping you with electricity this time, I will try a different approach." Vlad picked up an object on a table next to the machine. ... Meanwhile, in Amity Park, Sam and Tucker were looking for a way to get to their friend Danny ASAP. They almost ran down Dash as he'd finished getting ice cream for himself. "Hey, watch it, losers!" he said. He hadn't dropped his ice cream, luckily for him. The ice cream vendor (who was a ghost) looked down upon the teens in wonder. He felt slightly sorry for the goth and the techno geek. Dash got up and walked away, huffing with pride. The ice cream ghost looked down upon the teens, whom he'd sold ice cream to not so long ago. "Excuse me," he said softly. "But do you two need help? You look worried about something." Sam and Tucker looked at one another, then back at the ghost. "He took our friend, Danny!" They cried in unison. "Who did?" "The mayor of Amity park! He changed into his ghost form and-" Sam said. "Wait! The mayor's half-ghost?" the ghost said. "Yeah!" Tucker continued. "And he kidnapped our friend, who's also half-ghost!" "Well what are we waiting for?!" the ice cream ghost said. "We need to go save him!" Sam and Tucker smiled, glad that this ghost was on their side. ... Vlad picked up the object on the table and held it in the clear light. A scalpel. At seeing the small knife, Danny's body started to panic. He didn't make a sound. He simply stared at Vlad with the evil instrument in his hand as he made his way towards Danny's stomach. Danny sucked his stomach in as far as it would go. Vlad was cloning him no matter what and he was going to get his DNA even if it meant slicing him open. Oh no. NO! Danny shuddered. He closed his eyes and tried to even his breath. He would be strong. He wouldn't let out a single scream of pain. He could do this! He could... Let's show him what you're made of, Fenton! ... The ghost picked up Sam and Tucker in his arms and they flew off towards the mayor's house. Sam and Tucker gave him directions as best they could. When they were headed on a straight path, they discussed what they'd been doing that day with the ghost. Sam broke the mood when she mumbled, "I sure hope Danny's alright." Tucker's face fell and he nodded solemnly. "I hope so too, Sam." To ease their worried thoughts, Sam and Tucker played 'thumb war' with each other during the rest of their flight. ... To Danny's surprise - and relief - Vlad had lied. He wasn't going to slice Danny open after all. It was just like Vlad to fake him out like that. Vlad had put down the scalpel while Danny had his eyes closed. He relaxed. The cloning machine hummed and took a few cell samples from Danny's fingertips. "Hey!" Danny cried out. His enemy chuckled. Danny's eyebrows knitted together. "It seems," Vlad said. "That what my cloning needed was for your muscles to loosen, not tighten. In order to have a perfect clone, I needed to get you to ease up, not resist..." He chuckled again. "Silly ol' me..." Danny fought in his restraints. "You haven't heard the end of this." He tightened his muscles again, refusing the machine to sample any more of him. ... Sam and Tucker arrived at Vlad's mansion with their ghost friend. He turned intangible and held them so that they too would become intangible. He then floated through a wall of the mansion. Sam and Tucker looked for clues about Danny's whereabouts. They were about to speak to one another, when they heard a cry from the dungeon/basement. In unison, they both cried, "Danny!" They quickly rushed downstairs. They arrived at the basement to see Danny pulling and fighting against the machine. He was weakening. The cloning machine was warming up and glowing an eerie pink. Danny was sweating and fighting; more than he had to, it appeared. They didn't bother to question why. "Ahem, Vlad!" Sam announced. "We're here to rescue Danny!" "Yeah!" Tucker said, holding a ghost thermos. "Ahh, wonderful, you're all here to see the new clone I am about to create!" Their eyes became curious for a second. It was all the time Vlad needed. With Danny's weakened muscles, he pulled a switch, which quickly scanned the boy. Suddenly, everything was over. The metal shackles around Danny's wrists and ankles opened by themselves. Danny fell out of the machine, gasping for air. Sam and Tucker ran over to him, helping him up. They hugged him tight. Danny's muscles objected. He pushed them away. "S-sorry guys," he breathed. "Been under a lot of stress recently." "Hey, dude, it's okay, we understand." Tucker said. "Yeah, Danny. You were just in Vlad's torture chamber. You don't want physical contact." Sam nodded. Relieved his friends understood, Danny looked for the aforementioned villain, fearfully. Luckily, he was currently being distracted by the ice cream ghost. Danny breathed a sigh of relief and then crawled on the floor around to an exit. Suddenly, the capsule next to him opened, and Danny froze. Busted. Out came a clone that looked just like him, except this clone was in ghost mode. Beautiful green eyes shone back at him. "Hey there." Danny grinned, and waved to the clone shyly. "I'm Danny." The clone looked back at him wordlessly, curious. "And you're also Danny. You're my clone." He looked around the room nervously. "Listen, I'd explain more to you, but we've got to get out of here, fast." Danny smiled at the clone. His clone. He got closer, and hugged the other being. "Come on." He whispered. "I don't want Vlad to see you, and hurt you." ... Danny, Sam, Tucker and the clone crawled on the floor to the way to the stairs and then bolted up the stairs quickly. Halfway up, Danny remembered he had ghost powers. He transformed into a ghost and scooped his friends into his arms. As he did so, his legs turned into a ghost tail and he flew up the stairs the rest of the way. "You can do that too," Danny whispered to his clone warmly. The clone looked up at Danny, and grinned. When they flew out of Vlad's mansion, Danny wondered about the ice cream ghost. "Don't worry, he's a friend. And he helped rescue you." Sam said. "Sure hope he can handle Vlad..." "Trust me, no one can resist ice cream," Tucker said. "...I hope." Danny and friends looked back at the mansion. But they knew they couldn't wait around. Once the ghost was done distracting, they were as good as toast. Danny, with his ghost tail and his arms around his friends/clone, he took off into the air. A few seconds later, the ice cream ghost caught up with them. Danny smiled, silently signalling he was glad the ghost was okay. "Are we going to be okay?" Danny wondered. "245 calories? That guy will be grounded for a while..." the ice cream ghost nodded. "You put something special in that ice cream?" Sam raised an eyebrow. "Nope," the ghost answered. "It's just a property of this brand of ghost ice cream. It's delicious, but it grounds you so you can't fly anywhere." "Ah." "Then I guess it's a good thing Dash tripped me!" Danny remembered when he had his ice cream and the bully had rudely made him fall on the ground. The ice cream had splattered all over his shirt. If he'd eaten it, he probably wouldn't have been able to fly right now! Danny looked at the ghost and at his friends warmly. "Thanks for rescuing me, guys." "Anytime, Danny." His friends smiled. "Anytime." ... Danny sat with his clone on the bed, his friends looking at him curiously. "What are we going to do with him?" Sam asked. "We're going to keep him." Danny said, wrapping his arms protectively around the guy. "He's me, right? I'll never let him fall into the wrong hands!" The clone smiled and hugged Danny back. A twin brother. He'd always wanted a twin brother, and now he had one. "How are you going to explain him to your parents?" Tucker said. "I'll say that...!" Danny cut himself off, and thought about it a little. Could he tell them the truth? Should he lie? How much did the clone know about himself? Did he share all of Danny's memories, or did he need to create new ones? Could he change into Fenton form or was he permanently stuck in ghost form? Could he even talk? "Hey, clone brother." Danny said. His voice was soft yet concerned. "We need to ask you a few questions." ... On the next day at school, Danny walked with his friends. Included, was Danny's clone, Daniel. Daniel seemed to be mute, but he also seemed to recognize Sam and Tucker and got along with them well. He'd been introduced to Jazz, and also to their parents, who seemed to like this Daniel (Danny told them he'd been conceived in a lab accident - not a lie. But he hadn't told them what Vlad had done.) despite the fact that he bore a resemblance to the ghost boy (Danny's ghost half - whose reputation was questionable, even though he'd done only heroic acts. Well, other than that one time he'd stolen stuff when he was under mind control). Daniel had a red and blue plaid backpack, and he was smiling happily. He was so glad people accepted him the way he was! Even Paulina - a girl who didn't seem to like Danny and his other friends - smiled and waved warmly at him. Of course, Daniel would never leave his friends just because the popular kids liked him. He loved them, first and foremost. Daniel noticed Danny's sad mood for the third time that day. He put an arm on the boy's shoulder. Danny looked up. His clone was about to suggest that he knew a way to cheer Danny up, if he would only let him. Unfortunately, he was mute and couldn't speak a word. He gestured to Danny desperately. Unfortunately, Danny, being slow, didn't understand. Finally, Daniel threw his hands up in the air, giving up. "Aw, Danny doesn't know what you're saying?" Sam said. "It's okay. Danny here-" she put a hand on his stomach, to gesture to him. It caused a squeak and a laugh. "Doesn't know sign language." Daniel blinked. He tried out his hand gestures on Sam, seeing if she would understand. She smiled. "A card game? That sounds fun!" Daniel nodded, and beamed. He then smirked mischievously at Danny. He'd noticed his brother's odd reaction to being touched on the stomach. He tried the same thing on Danny. A stifled breath of air. Puzzled, Daniel moved his fingers around. That got a reaction. Danny squealed and pushed his hand away. "Alright: Rule One for people trying to cheer me up from now on!" Danny announced. "Absolutely no, and I mean NO! Tickling!" His friends couldn't help giggle at his reaction. "Glad you all agree." Danny said dryly, though he couldn't help grin too. End.