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#To me are speaking Scots English
incoherentbabblings · 2 months
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I understand people joking about unintelligible accents/dialects sometimes I do but there is always something really surreal about seeing one that is either yours or one that you understand perfectly well being made the butt of a joke and you'll sit there like what's the joke they're being perfectly coherent!
There are many many many many examples of this but the one that is relevant for myself is the chap in Brave speaking Doric. He's not even speaking that fast.
If he was a wee bit closer I could lob a caber [tree trunk/log] at him, ken [you know]? and It's just nae fair making us fit [fight] for the hand of the quine [woman], it disnae whet an appetite, ken [you know]?
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jamesluckycl0ve · 3 months
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am oan the westons but ❤️ if you follow me here and have been for some time. kissing u sloppy style 🤠,💪🏻
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anarchotolkienist · 2 years
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Wait, you are saying “wifey” comes directly from Old English? I think I’d only hear an older woman, who’d typically have gotten married already, be called a wifey, so I’d imagined it had more recent origins, ie after “wife” had its presently established meaning
To be clear, I don't speak Doric, but my friend who's a native speaker uses Wifie to refer to any adult woman, and the Dictionaries of the Scots Language has "wif" in use as "a woman" between the earliest Scots distinct from English in the 12th century as late as the 17th Century, and wifie defined in 19th century Scots as a dialectical form of Wife, defined as 'A woman in general, whether married or not' - I wouldn't be surprised if the meaning is shifting towards the English though, this is the general trend in Scots. But as I say, I know young native speakers who still use it in its old meaning, so it's not entirely dead.
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nostalgia-tblr · 1 year
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Today I have sensibly added words to Chapter Two Of The Over-Long Adultery-Filled AU, thus upping the chances of there being an update posted within a reasonable timeframe. \o/ There's nae rush, it's fine, I can do this, etc, etc.
Doing less well at not writing 'Frigga Mindwipes Everyone' because apparently I want that female character I know basically fuck-all about to get to do something hecking shady? So that consists of several fragments now, including a truly shocking bit where Odin is slightly better at parenting than she is. I KNOW RIGHT!! (Somehow the mindwiping demands build-up/backstory that's mostly just her hanging out with her weans? IDK. Honestly I'm a bit disturbed by the level of wholesomeness that's emerging here. At least there's the mindwipe stuff to balance that out a bit eh?)
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pfhwrittes · 2 months
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retail hell reader is being bothered by an uncomfortably friendly customer and tf141 handle it in their own ways.
warnings: female!reader (she/her pronouns) isn’t being overtly harassed but you know when a man is being too interested and too friendly? its that. egregious use of scots as inspired by still game, pet names “love”, “hen” and “bonnie girl” used to refer to f!reader.
word count: 1.5k
pairings: kyle garrick x reader, john mactavish x reader, simon riley x reader, john price x reader.
each reader x named character interaction should be read as a standalone but i stuck them all together as they were too short to post individually in my opinion.
- -
this customer is making you nervous as fuck. you don't think you've been inappropriate with him in any way, just polite and friendly as you sorted out his refund. the problem is that he's massive, easily taller than simon by a couple of inches and he keeps looming over you blaming his difficulty understanding english as to why he keeps getting closer and closer. he's practically mounting the customer service desk to peer down at you (and you have a horrible feeling he's trying to get a look down your polo top).
you're beginning to panic so you do the only thing you think to do (which admittedly is pretty stupid looking back on it) and make your excuses to leave the customer service desk to find one of your friends. or at least find a colleague who will act as a witness if this guy gets any creepier.
gaz handles it like a champ. as soon as he spots the creep following you around he's there. arm around your shoulders and tucking you into his side at the kitchen consultant's desk. his customer service smile is fixed on his face and he refuses to even acknowledge this giant arsehole of a man, just keeps talking to you softly and shows you the kitchen he’s working on. kyle’s beautiful brown eyes only briefly leave your face so he can point out another favourite part of his design, he never once looks over at the creep. it works to soothe you, especially being so close to him. after ten minutes of being blatantly ignored, the creep walks off muttering under his breath. hopefully he’s left the store but unfortunately it’s around that time that kyle has a couple walk up to him asking him if he’s free for a drop in consultation. before he agrees he checks in with a gentle “you alright if i take this appointment, yeah? come straight back if that guy is still hanging around. i’ll deal with him.” he looks so serious you believe him. you reassure him that you’ll be fine and he gives your arm a gentle squeeze before you separate from his warmth already missing the slightly woody scent of his cologne. before you’re completely out of earshot you hear the couple cooing over how cute kyle was with you and his reply of “well, it’s not exactly hard when she’s one of my favourite colleagues…” and the fondness in his voice makes your cheeks heat up. 
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johnny nearly trips over you as you’re crouched behind the paint desk. “steamin’ jesus, what’re ya daein’ under there hen?” you hush him quickly and silently with a finger raised to your lips. you don’t want to speak because you know the giant is still out there looking for you, you thought you’d given him the slip near the paint brushes but then he’d rounded the end of the aisle so you darted for the relative safety of the paint desk. johnny crouches down next to you and whispers “are we hidin’ from someone? is it simon?” you shake your head and go to answer him but then your blood runs cold as you hear that familiar accented voice. “excuse me? i was wondering if you might help, i’m looking for the fräulein who was helping me?” johnny shoots a look at you and you squish yourself further into the corner of the desk hoping against hope that johnny won’t give you away. thankfully, johnny straightens up from behind the desk with his most charming customer service grin “sorry pal, i’ve no’ seen her. ‘s only me on the desk the day.” the creep sounds nonplussed at johnny’s thick glaswegian accent (you’ve certainly never heard it ramped up like that in all the times you’ve spoken with him) and a little crestfallen when he starts to reply with “oh, perhaps you’d be good enough to -” johnny interrupts him, voice still pitched in a friendly manner but you can hear an undercurrent of tension “naw, sorry pal. i’m busy pitin’ the hems oan the tins. is there anythin’ i can dae fer ye mixin’ wise?” there’s a moment of silence and you watch johnny’s smile slowly slip off his face, his lips thinning into a stern line. “ah, um. no thank you. perhaps she will find me.” the creep sounds a little nervous now if the uncomfortable laugh he lets out is any indication. “aye right. well i’d best be lettin’ you get oan then eh?” johnny shifts on his feet slightly so his calf brushes up against your arm. after another tense moment you hear the lumbering footsteps of the giant move away from the desk. johnny looks down at you with a mischievous grin, “i’ve got to say bonnie girl, you look a right sight down there.” you only feel a little bit bad when you punch him lightly in the leg and he yelps in shock as the blush on your cheeks spreads down your neck. 
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simon is less than impressed when you duck under the chain across the warehouse doors and flatten yourself against the noticeboard out of view from the shop floor. “you stupid? chains up which means the forklift is out so you need to be too.” he’s pissed off and thinking about how much paperwork he’ll have to fill out now because you didn’t bother to think about the cameras in your dash for safety. he takes a big step towards you before swerving off to the side to block the customer that has just appeared at the chain. “the fuck do you want?” he practically snarls. ‘this isn’t the fucking caff.” simon squares his shoulders and glares at the oversized dickhead that’s wasting his time. “well? can’t you fuckin’ read? staff access only. and you’re not staff so fuck off.” simon barks at the man, not letting him get a word in edgewise to start bitching about stock or whatever it is that he wants. simon couldn’t give a shit, he just wants the customer (and you) to fuck off promptly so he can start moving pallettes around. the customer just blinks and takes several steps back before turning away. you let out a shaky sigh and thank simon quietly. simon hums in acknowledgement and sweeps a critical eye down your lightly trembling form. “he botherin’ ya?” at your nod he hums again before jerking his head towards the back of the warehouse “go put a hi-vis on and sit in the office, i’ll come get you when i’m done on the ‘lift.”. when simon comes back into the office two paper cups of tea in hand thirty minutes later, you offer him a small smile and catch his lips twitch up briefly before he turns away to plunk his cup down on top of a cluttered filing cabinet. 
-
price practically walks into you as you come flying around the end of the plumbing aisle. it’s unusual to see you so far away from the customer service desk and looking so flustered. “alright, love?” his hand is on your elbow as he asks. you crane your neck round to look behind you, too worried about that customer to enjoy his large warm hand on your bare skin. price straightens up and drops his hand away from you when he spots a customer behind you, in his opinion the customer is moving a little too fast to be considered casual. price bristles slightly when he catches the dark look on the gentleman’s face. oh no, he doesn’t like the look of this one at all. especially when you look at price and mouth “help” quickly. price steps forward and puts you at his back, blocking the creep from getting any closer. “can i help you, mate?” his gruff voice is just shy of sounding friendly and you watch his back muscles shift under the black polo top he’s wearing. “no thank you, i wanted to speak with the little woman some more.” god the customer is weird, you shudder a little at being referred to as a “little woman”. price shifts to block the customer’s view of you more fully as he does you notice the back of price’s neck has gone a little red. “not possible. i need her for a job.” price’s words sound like they’re being ground out through gritted teeth in response. “i’m sure simon would be more than willing to help you.” you jolt a little when you spot simon at the customer’s shoulder. a man shouldn’t be able to move so silently in steel toed safety boots. you catch a brief wince flicker across the customer’s face when simon’s hand comes down on his shoulder, slightly too hard to be entirely polite. “ah, um, yes. perhaps that’s for the best.” simon leads the customer away and you step up beside price to thank him. he looks deadly serious when he turns to face you “any time love.” his stern blue stare softens slightly and you’re sure you catch his gaze flicker to your mouth briefly before he clears his throat and turns away “c’mon then. back to the returns desk with you.”. 
- -
AN: i have very much hidden from customers in the warehouse and behind the paint desk at B&Q. don’t be like reader (or me) and hide in the goods-in area, you will get shouted at for it. 
translation for johnny’s scots: “pitin’ the hems oan” = putting the hems on, meaning to put something in order or to restrain something/someone.
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mockerycrow · 11 months
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hii! i love the way you describe the 141 so far, and i would love to see how you would write an konig, ghost, soap, price and alejandro reaction and headcanons with a s/o who has an accent?
i taught myself english from a young age so i never really had someone to practice with, so my accent is very strong (im from south america, which also helps lol) and i would like to see how the cod boys can react to this in your style <33
Reader With An Accent - MWII
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GIF BY: @collinnmckinley - masterlist
A/N: thank you so much for your patience and thank you for liking my writing!! please let me know if i executed this right!! i am american and i don’t want to misrepresent. also this is lowkey coded for people w/ accents from non-english speaking countries, so sorry everyone who is from a english speaking country and has an accent oops — i also kinda took your “i taught myself english from a young age” for alejandro’s chunk. hope that’s ok!
König
König wouldn’t react to your accent very much, unless it’s a very thick accent because then he would have trouble understanding you.
If your accent is thick, he probably asks you repeat yourself a couple of times; English isn’t his first language either, so I can imagine maybe a couple of times you both sit there in silence with each other because neither of you guys can understand each other. He has a semi-thick accent, too.
Sometimes, he does understand you but he just wants to hear you continue to talk.
Maybe König and you practice English together, while teaching each other your native languages on accident. You guys didn’t mean to, but you end up trying to explain what a word is in your different languages and by the end of it, you begin to understand full sentences in german; the same for him with your language.
He considers this a bonding experience :)
Ghost
Like König, he probably wouldn’t react to your accent too much unless it was incredibly thick. Ghost has met all different types of people and his native language is English, so he has a better understanding of what you’re trying to say, but he pokes fun at you like he pokes fun at Soap.
On the topic of Soap, you two together is his worst nightmare.
“Speak English.” Is his favorite phrase when you are speaking English, but your accent is just overpowering literally everything.
You like to throw his words back into his face when he says some sort of British slang—you get a surprisingly loud chuckle out of him when you pick up some of his slang. He thinks it’s funny whenever anyone who isn’t British begins to talk like him.
If Ghost isn’t already fluent in your language, he pretty much becomes damn near fluent by the time you’ve known him for a good couple of months. He picks this stuff up easily.
Soap
Oh, this would be actual hell on Earth. Not for you two, but for the others.
Soap doesn’t comment on your accent initially, but you two begin to share a brain cell and a half (on accident) when Ghost’s eyes show visible frustration.
“He can barely understand me, the two of’us will be a real party trick!”
You and Soap gang up on everyone else if your accent is thick. He understands the frustration of people not understanding you.
Sometimes it takes Soap a moment to process what you’re saying, but he only asks you to repeat yourself a couple of times. (He has a good method of deciphering words, even if he cannot understand through an accent).
Soap likes to teach you his Scot phrases and you teach him your own in return.
Price
He gives you an eyebrow raise as a reaction, but that’s about it. Price has worked with so many people all over the world, he doesn’t really care to comment on your accent.
Price has gotten pretty good at understanding thick accents through the years, so he probably only asks you to slow your speaking when giving him a verbal report about something.
Price 100% is the type to accidentally pronounce something wrong but say it with full confidence and you always correct him, leaving him dumbfounded.
“My lips just don’t move that way, love.”
It’s likely he’s fluent in your language so he doesn’t mind if you talk to him in it; just give him a few seconds to translate in his head, okay?
Alejandro
If you meet outside of a total progressional setting, he probably has the most reaction to your accent out of anyone.
Alejandro’s language is a very big part of him so he assumes it’s the same for anyone else.
Alejandro doesn’t have an incredibly thick accent, but he knows people who do and he’s known them for years, so it’s easier for him to understand than a lot of other people.
If you taught yourself English and you end up pronouncing something wrong, Alejandro casually corrects you to help you out. He doesn’t make a big deal out of it either, he knows sometimes people get embarrassed from it. His first language isn’t English either, so he understands the struggle.
He DOES start laughing if you try to pronounce something that you so clearly cannot, even after being corrected.
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thebibliosphere · 2 months
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Hi! How are you doing? Sorry to bother you, but i dont know many scottish people and idk who to talk to about this book I found on audible. It's called Imogène, by french author Charles Exbrayat. Do you know him /the book? I've started reading it but I had to pause because, while being sold as a "humorous spy story" I find the protagonist, a "very proudly scottish" woman, to be... an offensive caricature? Like she acts like a fool, honestly. This book contains some interesting points about sexism (it was published in 1959), and ridiculous british habits (such as employees forced to give money for princess anna's birthday or being socially scorned). I'm sure the shared dislike / distrust the protagonist and her british colleagues feel are (were?) realistic. But she is so extra, and the story keeps telling how lonely she is, even after working 20 years in london. She has No friends, most acquitances dont talk to her for various motivations, her bosses hates her ... idk I feel this book is actually mocking scottish people? Or scottish women??? I was SO there for a "strong woman protagonist who gives cutting remarks to her boss or peers", but this looks wrong. Idk. I didnt know whom ask for inputs. Maybe i'm reading too much into it. Feel free to ignore this mega rant. Have a good day!
I think cultural and historical context and time of publication-- which was almost 70 years ago --are important factors to take into consideration when we look at fiction through our current expectations.
I can’t speak to the book as I’ve never read it, but speaking as a Scots woman who worked for an English publishing house for a while, being made to feel alienated by my boss and others due to being Scottish was unfortunately still something going on in 2011.
I’d get lots of “Oh but you sound so eloquent” remarks regarding my thinned-out accent (something I did on purpose to avoid being told to “speak properly” which was also something I heard a lot in school if I ever used my native Scots language instead of “Queen’s English.”) and one time my boss referred to me as “their civilized Scot” to an American author, whose Scottish romance book I was supposed to be fixing the dialogue on.
The phrasing was along the lines of, “Don’t worry, you’ll be able to understand her. Joy is our civilized Scot.”
The author laughed and made another derogatory comment about how they just loved Scottish accents even if it was unintelligible a lot of the time. I kept my mouth shut because I didn't want to lose my first career job.
I kept my mouth shut a lot in that job.
In that regard I could very well empathize with the character being lonely and not engaging with anyone, even after 20 years.
The proud Scottish woman can be a bit of a caricature, but that doesn't necessarily mean it is intended as mocking.
Again, cultural/historical context matters.
I wasn’t alive in 1959, but I know there was a lot of Scottish media about the time that leaned into the stubbornness and pride of Scots women both for humor and to make societal commentary on the fact that women were strong and more independent than they’d ever been following two world two and a lot of men weren’t happy about it and wanted them to go back into their boxes. As a result the mouthy, proud Scots woman became a mockable caricature that turned women into shrill, over proud scolds.
Get back in your box or we’ll make fun of you, basically.
So is this book being mocking, or is it employing popular tropes of the time, knowing that audience will understand what it means and that the female protagonist is being subversive despite what others expect from her?
I can’t say. Again, haven’t read it. It could be utter dogshit and making total fun of my culture. But I do think when looking at older media we need to put our thinking caps on and think, “How would the audience of the time, 1959, have viewed and engaged with this?”
Expecting a “strong female protagonist” as we know it from media today isn’t going to work with media that’s almost 70 years old.
Hell, the “strong woman protagonist” wasn’t even something any piece of media could agree on when I was growing up in the 90s.
Times change. Literary tropes and preferences change. It helps to keep that in mind.
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captain-mj · 2 months
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This is an ask to remind you to write the ghost poured alcohol and spit into soaps mouth at a concert fic. Pretty please... do write it uwu
Thank you thank you thank you i really wanted an excuse to write this other than me being self indulgent
Simon forgot what exactly Tommy had called the pills he had taken. He just knew he felt great.
From an outsiders point of view, he looked good too. Simon knew that. Jason had helped him with his makeup so he had a large painted black Glasgow smile and blacked out eyes that streaked down. At some point, he had lost his shirt. His jacket didn’t really keep the cold out but in his opinion, it made him look better.
Simon downed more alcohol, his head swimming. The world was fading in and out with the bump of the music. It was so much better than being sober.
There was some… guy. Staring at him. He had dark hair and he was dressed kinda strange. Long sleeved blue shirt and jeans rather than scene gear. It made him stand out almost as much as those pretty blue eyes.
Simon licked his lips. “Hey buddy. Need something or are you just staring?”
The man spoke in gibberish in a thick Scottish accent. Simon wondered if he was higher than he thought or if the guy simply spoke another language.
“You speak English?” He slurred out, staggering closer to him.
That upset him. Quite a bit. He spoke more of his gibberish at him. He looked a bit younger. Simon wondered vaguely if he was old enough to be there, but Simon wasn’t exactly old enough either so…
“Want a drink?”
He paused His angry rambling to look at Simon closely before nodding and reaching for it.
Simon held it above his head, using his height to make sure he’d have to jump for it. “Nah. Tilt your head back.”
Mystery guy paused and clearly hesitated before doing as told. He let Simon grip his jaw gently and opened his mouth obediently. When in Rome. Or when you’re in Manchester you let a high, hot guy pour alcohol into your mouth.
Simon was careful not to drown him. He had done this before. It was cheap liquor, no doubt burned on the way down but he took it like a champ. Their eyes met and the burn in Simon’s chest was definitely not cause of the alcohol. This dude was fucking hot.
When the Scot tilted his head to try to get him to stop, Simon spit into his mouth and let go of him. The Scot quickly closed it so the alcohol wouldn’t get on his shirt. He looked flustered as he swallowed and Simon could see how his pupils dilated.
Simon grinned and put his hand on his shoulder. “Don’t understand a word you’re saying, love. But if you wanna go i co-“
Tommy jumped on Simon’s back, laughing. “Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, where were you?”
In the brief moment he stumbled, the Scot fled, leaving Simon with a case of blue balls and very pissed off. “You’re the fucking worst.”
~~~
“There’s no fucking way that was you.” Ghost argued. “We’re four years apart! It doesn’t even make sense.”
Soap crossed his arms. “You made me realize i was fucking gay and into taller men and you refuse to believe me.”
Ghost shook his head. “No way. You’re delusional.”
Soap gaped at him. “The guy who jumped on you called you Si! He had skull makeup on!”
“Fuck off, Johnny.”
“Oh come on, Lt. you wanna recreate it?”
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vintagemulti · 1 year
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a psa for those writing for johnny “soap” mctavish
as much as a love the works you’re all writing, a lot of people really don’t know how to write a scottish character (and that’s ok !!!! we get like no rep so) so as a scottish writer, i figured i should help you guys out a little bit.
dialogue
johnny has a VERYYY strong accent as i’m sure anyone can work out
however this doesn’t mean he’s suddenly speaking a different language
yes, a lot of slang is used and for a basic definition of scottish slang and how they should be used; use this ! if you have no idea of slang i’d recommend reading through every word
although we like to use slang, i can promise you that if we’re with someone that wouldn’t understand a word of it / someone who’s first language isn’t english, we wouldn’t speak fully scot (for example if johnny was speaking to alejandro or rudy)
there’s absolutely nothing to suggest he can speak gaelic. yeah i know this is an obvious one but i have seen a few people slip gaelic into his dialogue and that’s super duper inaccurate
barely anyone in scotland speaks gaelic (unless you’re up very high north or maybe in the isles). it’s actually almost an extinct language because the english pretty much wiped it out when we got colonised.
something i love to see is when he mumbles little scottish things under his breath. accurate af.
we say shite more than shit. and never ever will a scottish person say ass. it’s arse all the way.
we don’t call people (especially if you’re sleeping with someone !!!!) lass. or lassie. we call kids that.
pet names are normally along the lines of love, hen (my personal fave), sweetheart, little lady, bonnie (sometimes)
also, shagging is sex. shag, shagged, shagger. yeah.
mum not mom. maw, more commonly.
all that being said he does use a loottttt of slang so honestly go ham i love seeing scots language get used because it’s not been used in fanfic like ever before
culture
seen a few people write soap going mad for st andrews day
yeah no we don’t to that lol i barely every remember that it’s actually st andrews day
also, we aren’t all completely versed on celtic mythology. i could barely tell you the first thing about it.
in scotland we’re all kind of touchy, like we’ll greet people with a hug and stand weirdly close to each other so if that’s something you’re writing about it’s important to note that our personal space is really small
not sure where people get this idea from but scotland isn’t all sheep and highlands and fairies and like little huts
yes we have that but we’re a really modern nation and wayyy to many people have a weird perception of scotland
my man is literally from like glasgow (his accent sounds glasgow but don’t quote me on that) he’s not a farmer or anything
we swear. a lot.
KILTS. not skirts, very common to wear in scotland to events like weddings, christenings, anything formal really.
cunt isn’t a horrible word i literally everyone a cunt, sometimes it’s used affectionately
misc.
if you’re gonna write about scottish politics i beg you research it. johnnys probably pro independence and an SNP voter. google it for context
we’re really loud. and we talk really fast. yes, other characters are gonna be confused af
irn bru !!!!!!!!! it’s a scottish drink and ive seen one person mention it and i just about cried i loved it
in scotland you can vote at 16 and join the army at 16 if that’s relevant to you
if you’re going to write about something you don’t know anything about, either do research or ask someone scottish (im more than happy to help!!)
please don’t take these as complaints or anything !! it’s just very very off putting to see people make massive misconceptions and conclusions about scotland! i love that we’re finally getting some hype. anyways ask about anything!! <3
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sirenmoth · 3 months
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we’ve seen southern american?reader and french!reader but what about scottish!reader? what if reader if from the scottish highlands (this is me being self indulgent, have a a problem with it? argue with the wall) (I wrote in this on my phone in an hour)
!Can be read as platonic or romantic!
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Scottish Highlander!Reader who grew up in the far northwest of the highlands where they still speak scottish gaelic.
Scottish Highlander!Reader who speaks both scot’s language and gaelic, so what comes out is a weird hybrid of the two that only reader understand
Scottish Highlander!Reader being unaffected by rain, wind and really any extreme weather due to the harsh storms and conditions of the highlands, the boys have to wrestle reader to wear something weather appropriate. price is on the verge of a heart attack.
Scottish Highlander!Reader who gets along with soap really well but even he is confused by what they say half the time due to the heavy highlander accent and mixed in gaelic, the british are very confused. reader insults them and they have no idea, soap finds it funny
Scottish Highlander!Reader who sasses Ghost back for telling them to speak english,
“tha thu nad leth-fhacal”
“speak english”
“speak scottish”
Scottish Highlander!Reader who has soap as translator for them, doesn’t work all the time but it gets the job done. though he refuses to translate some things for your sake and others.
“hae ye caught up wi’ th’ ryle fowk?”
“what?”
“their askin’ if ye met the royal family”
“oh, yea, during military award ceremonies and events like that sometimes”
“Did ye goid fae thaim?”
“bonnie, i’m nae askin’ that”
Scottish Highlander!Reader who teaches soap gaelic, ultimately becoming an unstoppable duo. Gaz helps them understand english a bit better.
Scottish Highlander!Reader hates the english but would kill you if you insult the three brits they’ve come to love.
Scottish Highlander!Reader who teaches price, gaz and ghost about scottish holidays with the help of soap, in turn they let the three teach them english holidays.
Scottish Highlander!Reader taking the boys up to the highlands for a get-a-way, refuses to go back to their home town due to it “having nothing to do”.
Scottish Highlander!Reader who’s accent gets thicker when their annoyed or mad or excited it gets to the point where not even poor johnny can understand them.
All in all, the boys love their scottish highlander, even if they have no idea what their saying half the time.
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Translations:
ha thu nad leth-fhacal - you are an idiot
hae ye caught up wi’ th’ ryle fowk - have you met the royal family?
goid - steal
Did ye steal fae thaim? - did you steal from them?
bonnie - beauty/beautiful
happy hogmanay everyone!
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cod-dump · 11 months
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Imagine how funny this shit would be if ghost's mom was scottish. Like- all the "english mactavish" is just simon being a (huge) little shit bc he understands what he's saying 100%. Ghost knows more scots gaelic than soap, soap would be livid. But also- si's ma moved to england (probably as a teen), met his dad, had him and tommy. Si's dad is a canon shitface so he was probably a real ass about her accent too. She wasn't allowed to use her scots slang or gaelic so her teaching simon was something just for them, one bit of defiance to the monster she married. It'd be very dear to simon. (He becomes gma mactavish's fave within seconds when he returns her gaelic greeting fluidly)
Your Mother’s Legacy
SoapGhost
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He never liked the name ‘Riley’. It will always be his father’s name, not his. He was ‘Mr. Riley’ so when people refer to Ghost as such he cringes. He remembered sitting in Price’s office talking about it. He didn’t go there with any real purpose in mind, just to talk.
“I’ve been thinking about using my mother’s name.”
“‘Lieutenant Simon Osburn’. Has a ring to it.”
Ghost was deep into paperwork involving changing his name when Soap joined. Meeting a genuine Scot honestly excited Ghost. Growing up, when it was just Ghost and his mother, they would speak in Gaelic. She taught him slang while speaking in her real accent. Though Ghost remembered that accent being forced away by his father. His mother quickly picked up an English accent to keep him calm.
“Why did I marry such dirty hag who can’t even speak English!”
When Soap first rattled off some Scottish slang, Ghost don’t know what came over him.
“Speak English, MacTavish.”
Ghost hated how much he sounded like his father in that moment. He felt hot shame bubble up inside of him but Soap didn’t back down. He nagged him, pushed, kept speaking those ridiculous phrases that Ghost loved. Ghost gave him shit for it each time. But it turned from something his father would do to fond teasing that Soap admitted to liking one evening, nursing a beer.
“I thought you were just some piece of shite Brit. But now I don’t see that.”
Time blended together. One moment Ghost and Soap were arguing every second and the next they were laying in bed together, limbs tangled as they kept snoozing the alarm to give them more time to cuddle. One moment Ghost had maybe a couple pictures on his phone for work and next moment his camera roll was filled with pictures of Soap. Soap doing something silly, Soap doing something cute or sexy. Just Soap.
He became completely enamored with this man. Any time away from him was unbearable. He was gone for a week and returned to Soap waiting, welcomed with kisses and warm hugs. At some point people started to associate them as one person, ‘Lieutenant Sergeant Ghoap’. It was the stupidest name Ghost had ever heard but he couldn’t deny he had a fondness for it. Apparently they were the favorite couple on base. He doubted that.
“I wanna take ya home with me,” Soap muttered to him one evening in bed.
Ghost lifted his head from his chest, “What?”
“I wanna take ya home to Scotland with me. To meet my family.”
Ghost’s heart soared when Soap cupped his face, nothing but love in his eyes.
“Mo chridhe,” Soap mutters to him, leaning forward and pressing a kiss to his lips.
Ghost wanted to cry. His mother taught him some phrases, sweet things to call someone when he finally found the one. She would call him all kinds of sweet things, as well. He was her mo leanbh. Even well into his adult years, after Tommy and Beth had Joseph. She would greet him with a tight hug.
“Mo leanbh! I swear you get taller every day!”
Ghost long gave up the thought of calling someone his mo leannan after his family was taken from him. After he lost himself and became Ghost, burying Simon deep within. He gave it all up and admittedly forgotten a lot of what his mother taught him. But having Soap in his arms, kissing him and breaking down that wall where Ghost buried Simon and all his mother’s teachings… He was determined to learn again. But he couldn’t bring himself to ask Soap. Couldn’t bring himself to admit to knowing what Soap was saying and choosing to bully him.
Ghost spent three months learning what he could from the internet. He kept it all hidden from Soap, still unsure how to tell him. He knew he was overthinking it but he still was too anxious to just tell Soap. So he continued to practice until the day came that they would be flying out to Scotland. Soap caught Ghost pacing and surprised him with a hug.
“Don’t worry, babe. They’re going to love you. Even if you are a Brit.”
Ghost smiled at the joke as Soap kissed his cheek before leaving. Ghost groans when Soap was out of sight, pulling out his phone to check the email that he had received from Price a couple days ago.
“All your documents have been updated!”
Ghost sighs. This was drawing out far longer than what it should. He should’ve told Soap from the start but he didn’t. And now they were leaving for the airport to catch their flight. Price had an idea of what Ghost was doing, it didn’t take him long to catch Ghost bullying Soap for his Gaelic.
“You could’ve gone about this differently.”
“I’m already too far down this rabbit hole, John.”
Price had laughed at that and wished him luck. Ghost was one negative thought away from a panic attack the entire flight. But Soap kept his mind busy by talking about all the places he wanted to take him when they get to Scotland. He talked about his family, his parents, his sisters, his grandmother.
“My gran speaks Gaelic more than she does English.”
Ghost nods, “Don’t act surprised?”
“Don’t act surprised. And none of your ‘speak English’ comments. She may be old but she’ll put you in your place real quick!”
Ghost nods, panic bubbling up the rest of the flight. He should’ve said something ages ago. But after the ‘speak English’ comments, would Soap had even believed him? The plane landed and Ghost was a fidgeting mess as they got their rental car and Soap drove them to his hometown. He was excitedly pointing almost the entire drive, a grin never leaving his face. When the house came into view Ghost had to take a deep breath and prepare himself.
The car was swarmed by Soap’s sisters who hugged their brother. Soap directed their attention at Ghost and he, too, was pulled into multiple hugs. He never expected to be welcomed so quickly. Ghost even teared up when they immediately called him ‘brother’ and pulled him into the house with Soap in tow. Soap’s mother was the next to greet them. She, of course, grabbed Soap first and hugged him tight. She gave him a big kiss. Then she saw Ghost.
“Look at ya! Yer more handsome than the pictures!”
Ghost was pulled into an awkward hug due to the height difference (she was shorter than Soap). But the warmth from it made him melt. She was no way near similar to his own mother in appearance. She was shorter, not as thin, darker skin— Overall she appeared much healthier than his mother. But her voice… the accent, the adoration in it. It brought him back to those days when Tommy was running the streets and his father was on another binge. Just him and his mother.
They spent a lot of time in the kitchen. The vent behind the fridge is where his mother would hide photos and other personal items that Mr. Riley would’ve destroyed if he found them. She would talk to him Gaelic, and he would parrot back what he heard. She would smile and gently correct him if he made a mistake. Those times in the kitchen was the only time peaceful time they both had in that house. The only time his mother smiled without fear and was her true self. But then Mr. Riley would come home and she would shrivel up.
“Come along, dear! Isaiah! Come in here!”
Soap’s father was nothing like Soap in appearance. But that attitude was definitely something Ghost saw in Soap. He was given a beer and directed into the family room. And there was Soap’s grandmother. She was humming a song that Soap waited until was over before he sat next to her and gave her a hug. She eagerly hugged her grandson. And she started talking to him in Gaelic.
“Bha mi gad ionndrainn, mo shionnach beag!” (I missed you, my little fox.)
“I missed ya, too, Gran.”
Soap looked over at Ghost and waved him over. Ghost took a big swig of his beer, earning a laugh from Soap’s father, before walking over. The old woman looked at him with a thoughtful look. She studied him for a moment before smiling.
“Halo, òganach. Ye must be my grandson’s man.”
“Madainn mhath dhut.” (Good morning to you.)
Soap’s face instantly went into pure shock. He stared at Ghost like he said he killed god as his grandmother’s face lit up in pure delight.
“Bha dragh orm gun robh am madadh-ruadh beag a’ toirt dhachaigh Breatannach! Ach tha mi faicinn gun tug e deagh Albannach leis!” (I was worried that the little fox was bringing home a Brit! But I see he brought a good Scotsman with him!)
Ghost breathed out as Soap’s father wrapped his arm around his shoulder, “Aye! Ye speak Gaelic better than my son!”
Ghost blushes, looking at Soap who was still in shock. His jaw hung open and Ghost could see the gears turning. Ghost was pulled onto a couch by Soap’s mother as his father sits next to Soap.
“Cò a theagaisg thu?” (Who taught you?”
“My mother. She was a proper Scotswoman.”
Ghost didn’t know how but Soap managed to look even more shocked when he said that. Ghost was worried his face was going to get stuck like that if he kept it up.
“Yer mother taught ya well!”
“Ye have ta forgive us for judging. The name Simon Riley isn’t quite scream Scot.”
Ghost laughs, “I actually changed it. Took my mother’s name. Simon Osburn.”
Ghost was deeply concerned by Soap by this point. His father noticed he went too long without saying anything and elbowed him in the ribs without even looking at him.
“John, yer lucky you found yerself a Scot. Ah was questionin’ ya when ye said he was a Brit.”
Soap makes an unintelligible noise, his face screaming like he was looking at Ghost for the first time at a new angle. Ghost was sweating due to the intensity of Soap’s gaze. He couldn’t pick up any anger from him, thankfully. But he still feared what the man was going to say when he finally snapped out of his shock. They spent several hours talking, Soap’s family digging into Ghost to learn what they could about him.
He gave them the censored version of his life story and eventually Soap’s mother and grandmother got up to go start dinner. Soap’s father quickly followed them, leaving Ghost and Soap with his sisters.
“Got yerself a real keeper, John.”
Soap finally looks away from Ghost and he felt like he could finally breathe.
“Yea… Love, let’s go settle in our room.”
Ghost tenses but he follows. Once they were upstairs and as soon as the door closed Soap turned to Ghost.
“What. The. Fuck?! Since when do you know Gaelic?! And since when is your mother Scottish?!”
Ghost stutters, “Since my whole life?”
Soap gaps, waving his hands around but no words came out of his mouth. Ghost breathes out. Two of the things he was worried about Soap reacting to were now out there. And Ghost wasn’t sure how Soap was taking this considering this was in the middle of ‘what the actual fuck how dare you’ and ‘oh, okay’.
“You, since we’ve first met, have been telling me—“
Ghost backed away as Soap spaced out his words.
“To speak fucking English. This whole fucking time—“
“Baby-“
“WHEN YOU ALSO DIDN’T SPEAK ENGLISH?!”
Ghost gulps, realizing this was dead on ‘what the actual fuck how dare you’. Ghost is shoved back onto the bed and Soap was on him. Ghost was surprised by the kiss Soap captured him in. It took his breath and he gasped for air when Soap pulled away.
“You fuck! You always been a nyaff! Always! But this- Oh oh- THIS! This upgrades ya, feartie dobber! How dare ya keep this from me!”
“Love-“
“Haud yer weesht!”
“Baby-“
Soap covers his mouth, glaring down at him, “Shut yer pus! Ah’m tired of hearin’ ya talk!”
Ghost couldn’t help but adore Soap’s accent as it thickened in his rage. He moves Soap’s hand off his mouth.
“Mo leannan.“
Soap freezes above him. The rage almost instantly melted away and Soap swallows hard. He cups Ghost’s face, Ghost’s hand going to the back of his head.
“Tha gaol agam ort.” (I love you.)
Soap chokes out a sob, “Tha gaol agam ort cuideachd.” (I love you, too.)
Soap kisses him, this time much softer. Ghost wraps his arms around Soap’s shoulders, not wanting the man to have even a opportunity to leave. Though he knows that he wouldn’t. Soap pulls away, smiling broadly.
“I was worried when I fell for you. Glad to see that my heart found me a Scot rather than a Brit.”
Ghost laughs, Soap kissing his neck, “Never did like the English side. To be honest the only good Brits I’ve ever met are Price and Gaz. Everyone else is on thin ice.”
Soap laughs against Ghost’s neck.
“Dhia, I love you.”
They lay there, enjoying each other’s warmth and presence. Soap breaks the silence after maybe ten minutes.
“Osburn, huh?”
“Mhmm.”
“I like that… ‘John Osburn’ has a ring to it.”
Ghost grins, eyes looking to his bag where the ring he’s been hiding for a couple weeks lays hidden.
“Yea… it does.”
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hauntedbubbles · 6 days
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Ghost, hands Johnny a tea: Here, this’ll sort ya out.
Soap: I swear you fuckin’ Brits think tea’ll fix anything.
Rudy, confused: You’re both British, no?
Alejandro, kicks Rudy under the table.  Whispers: Now you’ve done it… 
Soap, sipping tea: I identify as Scottish.
Ghost: You can identify as a fuckin’ tree, mate. But it don’t change nothin’ Scotland’s part of Britain…you’re British.
Soap: Geographically, aye. But that’s no’ the point! 
Ghost: You know, none of the Welsh or Irish boys make as much noise about it as you…
Soap: This doesny concern them!
Rudy, to Gaz: Are they going to fight… Did I miss something?
Gaz, who’s been sitting quiet: Nah mate, this is foreplay for them…I’m just glad my room’s not next to theirs… 
Some Soap Headcanons/Thoughts from a Scottish person? 👇🏼
“Fuckin’ Brits!” 
I’ve seen a lot of folks mention how odd it was, and that the writers have somehow forgotten about Scotland being a part of Britain.
Some folks have suggested that maybe this was just an attempt of them writing Soap as a Nationalist only to be countered with comments that he would have said “Fuckin’ English.” Because Scotland is still a part of Great Britain.
Keep in mind that “British” is often used as a generalisation by many for those living in the UK, so anyone who is strongly against the Union may refuse to associate themselves with it and strongly emphasise by affirming their  “I’m Scottish.”
Whatever Soap’s political views on the treaty of Union, signed all the way back on the 1st May 1707, matter not, because it’s purely banter. The Scots and English have history, and they’re playing with it (Especially when you consider Ghost's whole “Speak English.” stuff.)
As a Scottish person, who’s man was als born here, but his family are English, I often take the piss about his heritage…some of us are just like that, okay? 🤣
Soap’s accent.
I’ve seen it come up again and again in comments that Soap’s accent changes, and sometimes his Scottish accent seems forced…that his VA is clearly not a native, unlike Captain MacTavish’s…
Besides the fact that his VA is actually Scottish, Soap travels the world, he works closely with folks from all over, so it is no surprise to me that his accent is going to dip and change from time to time.
And the times where he’s “forcing it” in "Alone", “Awa and Bile yer heid!” “It’s pishin’ it doon oot here.” c’mon now, he’s purposely trying to goad Ghost! 🤣 
I worked in tourism, my colleagues came from all over. I’ve grown up with American TV shows and video games. And you bet I hear an accent and have to mimic it! When folk ask me where I’m from, it’s like a default to emphasise my accent as much as possible… oh and angry and drunk… tends to rev up the accent a little more too 👀
Basically the accent is Scottish… with extra seasoning 🤣
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natelia-aldelliz · 1 year
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Drunk 141 & friends headcanons:
Price : complains a lot : "Nik is way too romantic, can you believe I'm gonna have to learn how to waltz to surprise him for our anniversary? How fucked up is that?" or "These two assholes are so annoying, like they think I'm blind or something, do they know how much effort it takes to not tell them to get their heads out of their arses?" or "Did you know Nik forced me to confess when we were young? He kept looking at me with his eyes, so I told him to stop or I'll kiss him and he blushed so I did. Asshole. … I'm gonna ask him to marry me."
Laswell : falls asleep where she is. Price can keep talking to her for hours, doesn't actually care if she listens or not. Gushes about her wife when she's awake.
Ghost : likes to drink but rarely gets drunk, doesn't like the loss of control. When he does, he gets anxious and cuddly but won't ask for it, will just stare at Soap in silence (Roach moves too much, too overwhelming). Is happy even if just Soap's or Roach's thigh is touching his own, but prefers when Soap is using him as a pillow or backrest, or Roach is climbing on him. Tears up when Price pats him on the head.
Roach : takes any bet anyone is telling him, climbs on any surface available just to see if he can. They once found him asleep on top of a pub's cabinet.
Gaz : rambles and forgets how to talk. "Yeah, I was head down in uh that green shit, y'know, uuuh grass! And there were… they… fuck. Whazzit called… Lullabies. No. Butterflies? Mmmno. Like little choppers, y'knoooow… I don't like choppers. They're mean to me."
Soap : forgets what 'inside voice' means, aggressively whispers for thirty seconds when people tell him to be quieter before going back to shouting instead of talking, giggles at everything, his accent in English gets thicker and he'll also just start speaking Scots.
Rodolfo : looks at Alejandro with hearts in his eyes, never stops smiling. Ale could be telling the dumbest story ever, he'll still look absolutely enamoured. (doesn't change much from sober lol)
Alejandro : tells all his friends he loves them, gets very emotional in Spanish, randomly starts to sing songs going through his head.
Nik : needs a lot more than what they generally have to get drunk, will get tipsy at best, keeps an eye on all of them and pretends to not remember what Price says, especially when it's supposed to be a surprise.
Alex : either laughs about absolutely nothing, starts crying in the middle of a sentence, or stares unblinkingly at the wall, nothing else. Might say afterwards that it reminded him of frat parties when he was young, that's a lie, he's never been to one, he was a shy nerd before the army, he only looks like a jock.
Farah : probably doesn't drink tbh, religion and all that, but she keeps an eye on them with Nik. Gets second hand embarrassment about them sometimes, but will get angry if anyone else makes a remark.
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meichenxi · 1 year
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Speakers of non-English languages of the UK and Ireland wanted!!
Since it’s World Mother Language Day today (February the 21st), I’m thinking of doing a series of posts on the native non-English languages of the United Kingdom and Ireland, with some information and short interviews. 
For this, I am looking for both native speakers/signers and learners (with or without parentage/heritage of the language in question) of the following languages:
- Scottish Gaelic
- Irish
- Welsh
- Any sign language of the United Kingdom or Ireland (e.g. BSL)
- Any other minority language indigenous to the United Kingdom or Ireland. By this I mean primarily spoken only within the UK or Ireland as a minority, or spoken very little elsewhere. For example: Cornish, Manx, Shelta, or Anglo-Romani, not languages like Polish or Bengali that are minority within the UK but have a significant speaker base elsewhere. (I am aware that I am fishing for some of these *cough* Cornish *cough*...but you never know!)
- Any language or variety that you speak that you feel is linguistically / culturally distinct from Standard English that you would like to inform more people about. For example: Shetlandic, Scots, Ulster Scots. 
I don’t have anything finalised yet, but if you would be wiling to speak to me about some text-based interviews for the sake of qualitative and informative tumblr posts, please send me a message!
(NB: if I have used any names of languages that are not preferred, tell me and I will change them. I don’t know a lot about the non-Celtic and non-Germanic languages here, which is part of my reason for wanting to make this series of posts in the first place.)
Please reblog so more people see this!
- meichenxi
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spiderceo · 10 months
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“your music is shit.”
➪ paring: hobie brown & gn!reader (platonic or romantic. up to your interpretation)
➪ warnings: y’all hating each other, swearing, crying, mentions of death
➪ tags: ‘enemies’ to lovers(?), sfw, english person written by a scot ✨
master post!
miguel loves making your life hell so putting you in with a bunch of teens the complete opposite of you was horrible.
you never wanted to be a spider-person in the first place. you had no strong sense of justice that could drive you towards doing things just for “the greater good”. some would call you selfish but you thought of it as just looking out for yourself.
being surrounded by people who had much stronger opinions than you made your head hurt. especially when you found out one of your new teammates was a punk…
you and hobie clashed immediately when you stated that the world wouldn’t just change overnight because some rich guy gets taken out of power.
every time you were in a room together there would always be an argument.
didn’t matter what the topic was, you’d both be at each other’s throats.
“i never fucking asked to be here okay?”
“then pack up and leave! i certainly ain’t gonna miss you.”
it’s gotten to the point where people just start leaving the room when the two of you walk in.
they’d rather do anything else than sit and listen to you both bicker like a married couple.
speaking of that, pavitr is convinced you both got off on the wrong foot and you really do like each other.
miles and gwen called him delusional…rightfully so.
there was one rare occasion however when the two of you were absolutely silent. everyone could tell there had been an obvious shift in hobie’s attitude towards you.
not seeing you try to murder each other was somehow more worrying than it happening.
little do the others know that hobie had accidentally walked in on something personal.
it was purely coincidence that he managed to catch a conversation between you and miguel.
“so i’m going to die?”
“yes. there’s nothing we can do to stop it. you will fight him when the time comes.”
hobie had never heard you so scared before for your own life. you were always so reckless on missions to the point he and the others had to save your ass quite a few times.
he hadn’t realised he’d spaced out until you ran into him while leaving.
your face was stained red from tears and the silence was so loud.
you didn’t say a word to him, just stared with hollow eyes. it was obvious you were trying to process the news miguel had unfortunately given you.
hobie didn’t say anything as the two of you walked side by side in silence all the way back to the group’s usual hang out spot.
he ended up taking you back through your portal home (albeit reluctantly after finding out your fate) and standing awkwardly in your apartment.
“you good, yeah?”
probably not the best thing to say to someone who just learned they were going to die sooner or later-
you only nodded and shuffled to your room, leaving him to head back through the portal to his dimension.
hobie didn’t have much of a liking towards you but he’ll be damned if he has to watch the others grieve you…
a/n: gonna make this in a few parts me thinks. makes it a bit more fun :)
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pfhwrittes · 3 months
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retail hell au again because why not. so imagine with me that 141 fellas find you after a miserable customer has made you cry.
warnings: reader!character is experiencing the aftermath of a panic attack/distressing emotions when she’s approached by the boys, nothing explicitly stated but she’s feeling a bit vulnerable.
fem!reader and the use of gendered pet names (hen, love) and use of the word cunt as an insult to describe a customer.
also apologies, i’m english and my grasp on scottish slang/scots has mostly been informed by the wonderful show Still Game which is distinctly glaswegian in flavour and various scottish twitter posts.
so you’re hiding out in the smoking area (lmao smoking area, okay let’s be honest it’s where a bucket filled with sand has been dumped near an ex-display bench about idk 20 feet from the customer entrance) because you just need 5 fucking minutes to compose yourself…
gaz is actually coming back from his lunch break and spots you hunched up on the bench in a way that looks truly uncomfortable. he carefully sits next to you and offers a soft smile when you look over at him. “bad customer?” he’s gentle when he asks and doesn’t make a fuss when you make a truly gross sniffling noise and wipe at your eyes. “want a hug?” you shake your head no and hunch in tighter on yourself. “want a milkshake?” you shrug and he passes over a strawberry milkshake. surprisingly he doesn’t say anything and let’s you drink in peace. you like gaz, he’s always friendly and warm when you interact briefly on the shop floor. he always seems to know what to say or do to get the best out of you and everyone else around him. eventually you check your phone and see it’s been 10 minutes since you left the customer service desk with tears in your eyes and lump burning your throat. embarrassment and residual anxiety washes through you when you recall how you’d all but fled to the safety of the smoker’s bench despite not smoking yourself. gaz catches your shudder when you check the time and knocks his shoulder into yours gently. “don’t worry, i’ll let price know you need a few more minutes, alright?” gaz gets up and heads inside the building, you know he’ll speak to price so you unfurl a little bit and chew on the straw of your milkshake.
soap and simon find you next. soap’s chattering away about the most recent delivery as they both approach your bench. simon stops dead a respectable three feet away but soap throws himself onto the bench bumping his knee into yours “what’s the matter wi’ you then, hen? you’ve a face like a smacked arse”. you shift away from soap, usually you don’t mind his directness but it’s just rubbing you the wrong way right now. you’re still feeling raw and a bit sick from finishing gaz’s milkshake and lingering anxiety. “fucks sake johnny, leave ‘er alone.” simon grumbles and fishes a packet of cigarettes out of his pocket. “how? am just askin’ what’s the matter!” soap’s hands swat the air near your face and you shuffle further along the bench to avoid being hit in the nose in his agitation. “johnny.” simon snaps and soap huffs and folds his arms across his chest. it’s quiet amongst the three of you while simon taps out a cigarette and pats down his pockets looking for a lighter. soap shoots a wink at you and starts playing with a lighter that apparently has just appeared from thin air. “give me my lighter back johnny.” “gies a cigarette an’ i’ll trade it.” “no.” “c’mon simon! wan little cigarette.” “fuck off.” “awright then you miserable bastard.” you shake your head at their bickering and hold out your hand. soap pouts but drops it into your open palm. you lob the lighter in a poor underhand throw to simon who plucks it out of the air easily and nods in appreciation. “aw c’mon hen, that’s no’ playin’ fair!” soap whines and knocks his knee into yours “i thought i was your favourite.” “favourite pain in the arse.” is simon’s dry response around the lit cigarette and you crack a wobbly smile. “there she is! didn’t i tell you si?” soap’s grin is blinding “i knew we could cheer her up!” your wobbly smile starts to resemble more of its usual cheer when you catch simon’s eye roll directed at soap. you open your mouth maybe to defend soap or maybe to provoke him, you haven’t quite decided, when a pointed throat clearing catches your trio’s attention. your smile drops off your face and the anxiety that had started to quiet down in the face of johnny’s cheerfulness rises again in your belly because price is aiming a stern look towards the three of you from only six feet away.
price gently sits next to you on the bench when you’re certain simon and johnny are back inside. johnny squawking about the injustice of having his break cut short and simon calling him an idiot in response as they both disappear through the doors. you open your mouth to apologise for skiving off and offer any reason or explanation that will help your case but your teeth click shut when price holds out a palm to forestall your inevitable word vomit. “i don’t want to hear it, love.” price’s tone isn’t unkind, he’s just shooting straight with you, it’s something you quite admire about him really. “that customer was a cunt quite frankly and i’m proud of you for handling her the way you did.” the praise creates a small glow in your chest and burns away the last of your dread. “but, a word of advice, as the duty manager for today?” price offers a small encouraging smile so you nod. “you’re not paid enough to put up with that shit, so don’t.” you grimace and blow out a breath, you want to argue, maybe even defend yourself and explain that it’s fine really that’s just how retail is. price chuckles “no love, listen. you aren’t paid enough, but i am. so next time it happens, send ‘em my way alright?” price offers another smile when you nod in agreement before pushing himself off the bench. “now, c’mon. i’ve got stock that needs counting down the plumbing aisle and you can give me a hand. no more talking to muppets on the customer service desk today.” you follow price back into the store feeling much better than you did twenty five minutes ago.
the rest of your shift passes by easily enough and you make a mental note to buy gaz a milkshake as a thank you when he shoots you a friendly smile as you pass him on your way out the store on your lunch.
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