#Turns out I found an old discord message where I was explicitly told not to make her OCs public so...

[the-insanity-of-mojiru]

What do you mean this audio is 6 years old, I just heard it yesterday--

[peachybeancinema]

Week 1

Exercise

1 film that’s stayed with me and remembered. The Secret Garden, 1993, dir. Agnieszka Holland.

Cinematography wide shots and beautiful establishing shots, opening shot is a lone girl that can’t clothe herself, left in dead centre with lots of space around her, the closeups of hands feels very innocent and intricate- they feel like a soft, innocent female gaze.

Lighting contrast between the stale dark inside and the light garden

Editing not noticed so much

The script, partly cheesy cause it’s about children trying/forced to grow up too fast, and a period like flick

Production design, old timey and frilly, but oh boy their green set designer went OFF 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

Tone, lonely and hollow to a slow burn hope

Theme….

theme? Did it speak to me? Yes, the absence of parents- chosen to or not, running around finding wonder, kindness and strength in a garden

How did I feel? Loved and seen- a lost and lonely child that internally begs for love but has an inability to regulate her emotions- Collin too!

What kind of film would I like to be a part of HORROR or like something that can incite hope and make all types of children feel seen

EXERCISE 2

Director that inspires me: Gia Coppola

Resource on their process: ‘everything was trying to reach out to as many people as I could.’ Many of them stayed at Coppola’s mother’s house during filming. “I would drive them home after work and we’d all have dinner,” Coppola says, “It was like camp. I loved it.”

https://www.google.com.au/amp/s/www.washingtonpost.com/news/arts-and-entertainment/wp/2014/05/09/gia-coppola-talks-directing-james-francos-palo-alto-and-the-pressures-of-her-last-name-qa/%3foutputType=amp

https://www.google.com.au/amp/s/www.vogue.com/article/gia-coppola-palo-alto-personal-style-and-james-franco/amp

Notes on script:

Does the camera show that she’s dead?

When do we learn that she’s dead- same time as him or before?

Rewrite in program with proper formatting

Week 3…

I was able to get together with a crew member and get the new draft of the script done. I have a bit of trouble understanding sometimes how to properly structure a script after coming from a book writing background, so I was really thankful that she was able to help me understand even better. The feedback from previous classes has centred around its general ‘look’ as a script and whether the viewer is in on knowing that Alexis is dead, and from the strat I’ve wanted the audience to know to further their distaste towards Ross, otherwise the audience could say ‘well hey I missed it, I get why he did’. Her choking will take place on camera, close up, so we can watch her leave us.

Week 4…

Getting ready for the pitch has been a huge mental struggle for me, but I keep holding onto the idea of actually making this film and that definitely gets me into our team meetings on the days it feels impossible. I’m already so happy with the crew and their thoughts and contributions, but it doesn’t kill my anxiety of presenting. I feel like the script is at a good point based on feedback, so when we presented and the main concern was finding a production designer, I felt immediate relief… okay we can tackle that. There is a pressure I’ve found quite uncomfortable so far in my journey in this class, and it’s even after filling the crew roles, a certain student not even in this class has become quite intense in getting involved as camera operator despite that role being VERY explicitly filled. I plan on keeping polite but firm, but god why should I have to?

Week 5…

So… despite the previous week's tiny rant of someone trying to vulture a filled role, our original DOP is now the 1st AD and someone else within our crew has taken on DOP, a choice we were actually all really content with. A search for a production designer continues, but we have to focus on scouting our potential Ross and Alexis. Unfortunately none from the team- including myself, could make it to crewing night, however, another student pitched on our behalf. The main goal is to obviously fill the production designer role, so fingers are crossed in the meantime. There was no class this week so I definitely spent the week taking care of myself and finishing off my slides for the pitch for next week, and I’m pretty happy with my slides and that most in the crew have stuck to the same aesthetic through the slides (minus points for memes).

Week 6…

Pitch week, so I’m ill with anxiety for it, but nonetheless, meds taken, train caught and standing before the panel. After the comments from the panel on how it very obviously pulls away from the serious nature of content, I was pretty bummed I didn’t just quickly delete people’s memes before the pitch. Overall I felt pretty good about how it went, but that’s only because that’s how my crew told me to feel about it. My anxiety was so bad while presenting, that I blacked out. In moments of intense anxiety I will disassociate entirely, I know I spoke, but I know nothing that I said or that was said to me. This is an incredibly frustrating process for me, especially because I have had to rely on my crews memories on the pitch, which definitely doesn’t feel fair. They assure me we are on the right path, and just that we should get a move on with casting. Still no production designer.

Week 7…

Mental health and substance abuse are taking a bad turn this week and it is affecting how easily it is for me to communicate effectively with my crew. I won’t be able to open messages or even show I’m online out of fear of disappointing and giving wrong/no answers. I feel entirely overwhelmed and I can feel myself falling behind. There’s still no production designer and at this point I’m willing to do it because I fear it’ll turn into a shit show anyway. I have been experiencing the worst internet from home and it’s been making getting anything done when I’m finally mentally available, impossible. I’m tired and as much as I love this script, I just want this trimester over.

Week 8…

This week for The Silent Treatment, we’ve been taking a look at Producer Sina’s Starnow casting calls for both roles, as well as looking at AirBnB’s for possible locations, which has lead to playful but extenuating bickering on the dop and producers part over ‘apartment or house’, which honestly, it’s quite easy reigning them in when they get a little too passionate. But I’ve actually found their bickering and passionate opinions on options for the film and helping restore my own fight for this film too. We have a few meetings coming up over our discord and we’ve been polishing up our previous presentation slowly.

Week 9…

We’re cutting down through our pickings for actors as well as getting excited over the possibility of taking James Lewis on as production designer. He actually appears to listen and understand quite well and he’s always writing notes in his book for props and decor. I’ve shared my ideas and I’m hoping he can fulfil my needs. This week was a really difficult one for me mentally (big shock and huge surprise) so I’ve actually been trying to make a plan to stay well and that’s by putting together a rehab stay, a huge and terrifying step I’m still not sure I’m going to actually take.

Week 10…

I’ve lost all of myself and my motivation this week. A rehab stay is officially scheduled and I’m afraid and trying so hard to reignite my passion for film and my own words and stories, but I don’t think it is worth it. I know I’ll look back in a week to a few weeks and struggle to understand why I hated my work so much, but I think when you hate you, everything you touch looks disgusting. I’ve been incredibly fortunate for my friends- some on my crew- and I’m INCREDIBLY fortunate for the crew members that don’t really know me from a bar of soap being exceptionally soft and kind with me during my low period. Knowing my team are such lovely people is actually a much better reason to get off my ass and do this- for them- not for me and my silly story…

Week 11…

We finally have short listed actors AND location and now we have those last auditions to wade through. Internally I definitely have decided on my location and actress, but for the male actor I’m not so sure yet. One guy auditioned and while he played it quite well, it was his in between chats that had me slightly off, as he kept feeling the need to drill in that he isn’t ‘this guy’, which of you arent, you don’t feel the need to tell everyone, which is why I’m keen to give another actor a whirl and see where to go from there. My fashion designer friend is still keen to make the scrubs and we’ve all worked out a decent pay for her services- I love bringing friends from other art disciplines into my films, eg placing crazy art from my painter friend, decorating the sets with my friends published books and even my nursing friend belinda wants to give me a bunch of medical supplies to set dress!

Week 12...

Big pitch next week and I’m terrified- how can I actually feel so prepared but terrified. The last male actor to audition BLEW me away and I felt a real chemistry when talking to him between the breaks which means I’m really looking forward to directions BOTH actors, as they’re super lovely and open and very relaxed to speak with! Location is LOCKED and I couldn’t be happier with the pick made! We just keep polishing away at the presentation, and yes, the memes are still coming out of the woodworks...

Week 13…

I'm not angry over the pitch, but I wouldn’t say I left happy… some of the ‘criticisms’ felt so empty and UTTERLY devoid of actual meaning. I mean, and I’m sorry, but this script was the same script written 1 year ago. No changes were made because I didn’t receive criticism through these weeks to do so- sure structure of the actual script itself changed but the scene where he imposes himself in her space was ALWAYS there, and I know the lecturers can have a lot to remember, but DO NOT ever say ‘this part wasn’t always here’ and ‘no I think we would’ve noticed’ had me boiling. It’s important to not talk with so much confidence in these kinds of times, as we all can forget things, but to stand and tell someone what they wrote and didn’t write in front of a crowd of people in higher positions than them, that’s insulting. I’m happy to take the criticisms about that ‘rape implication’ exert VERY easily, but it could have been addressed in week 1. I also do believe that younger lecturers NEED to be in these pitches, as it is a crowd of older people and senses of humour and film are changing and that should be fairly judged by a RANGE of ages.

APA REFERENCING

Gia Coppola talks directing James Franco’s “Palo Alto” and the pressures of her last name (Q&A). (n.d.). Washington Post. Retrieved June 25, 2021, from https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/arts-and-entertainment/wp/2014/05/09/gia-coppola-talks-directing-james-francos-palo-alto-and-the-pressures-of-her-last-name-qa/

Nast, C. (2014, April 4). Gia Coppola On Palo Alto, Personal Style, and James Franco. Vogue. https://www.vogue.com/article/gia-coppola-palo-alto-personal-style-and-james-franco--

[mikami03iscancelled]

Callout Post for renai-tsumi/ai-to-tsumi/mikami03/nekomi03

I’m sure everyone who RP’s in the Persona 4 community (ESPECIALLY people who RP Yosuke Hanamura) has seen this person around, and not for necessarily for good reasons, so I’m going to get straight to the point.

This is a callout post for Han, also known as @inabas-prince, ai-to-tsumi, @renai-tsumi, mikami03, and nekomi03. 

Update: Han has changed her URL to our-twisted-love.

Update: Han has since moved blogs, so her current URL is unknown. That said, this post will remain up, for those who wish to know what Han has done and why this blog exists. 

I don’t like to do callout posts. I really, honestly don’t, since most are designed with a witch hunt in mind. However, this situation with Han has been going on for MONTHS, and clearly, nothing has changed. She hasn’t learned from her mistakes, and even though we did our best to keep the situation as controlled and as private as possible, she has bullied, harassed, and stalked people, MONTHS after they have stated that they want nothing to do with her.

Now, without further ado, let’s get started.

Before I begin, I would like to direct everyone to Mikami’s first callout, since it will provide context to the situation. Here is the tl;dr version:

Han is infamous in the Persona 4 fandom for harassing people, ESPECIALLY those who RP the character Yosuke Hanamura. She is also very infamous for trying to coerce them into ships, pressure them into NSFW roleplays, and will continue to try and contact them even when they have expressed NO interest in doing so. Unfortunately, one Yosuke in the fandom, under the URL kunaiflourish, has received the brunt of her harassment, as shown in the callout post before.

Han showed VERY obsessive behavior that became uncomfortable and flat-out creepy. She practically forced herself on kunaiflourish, and when they FINALLY blocked her, she wasn’t having it. I won’t provide screenshots here, since the callout speaks for itself. She began to send messages to kunaiflourish even MONTHS after they had blocked her, begging them to unblock her, and even wrote walls of text blaming kunaiflourish, saying that if they told her no and “communicated” with her, this never would have happened.

So right off the bat, we have: stalking, victim blaming, and harassment (both sexual and nonsexual) under her belt. She’s also not above trying to get other people involved, since, like in the callout, she tried to contact kunaiflourish’s friends and get answers from them. Talk about obsessive. 

Now, I know what you all are thinking. “This happened months ago, why are you bringing all of this up now, months after the situation has seemingly resolved itself?”

There’s a very simple answer to that: Because it hasn’t resolved itself. In fact, it’s worse than ever, because Han has managed to somehow show EVEN CREEPIER behavior than she did before.

This all started when she joined a Persona RP Discord that is run by heartofthemagician (Han has long since been banned from the Discord, in case anyone was wondering) as Nanako Dojima. A few people, including myself and other mods, were already well aware of her reputation, however, we came to a decision to let her stay. Call us naive, but we like to give everyone a fair chance, and didn’t want to ban her from the server right off the bat without reason. She hadn’t done anything to anyone in the server at the time, so we reluctantly let her stay.

Big mistake.

First of all, I am unsure if anyone is aware, but Han has been known to RP incest. Unfortunately, she has long since deleted said RPs (either that, or has made them difficult to find. If anyone can provide this evidence, the submission box is open), however, she DID admit to RPing this content when she was confronted by a server member about it. Instead of trying to deny it, she admitted that she tagged it and asked “Why can’t you blacklist the tag?”

While this in itself is not necessarily bad (I, personally, do not condone incest, but I understand that fiction =/= reality), it is pretty obvious from her reputation alone that she does not understand the boundary between fiction and reality. This was shown the entire time she was in the server: Every chance she got, she was creepily affectionate with our Yu Narukami.

Now, these interactions seem mostly innocent, but they happened VERY frequently. People were already uncomfortable by Han always derailed conversations in the server, talked over people in voice chat, and tried to make everything about her. She was incredibly self centered, and tried to turn every IC interaction towards Nanako.

On top of that, given her history with incest, it only further made the Yu uncomfortable. Han has been known to try and force ships, and seems to have a strange fascination with imouto-type characters. Take this information as you will.

Things went downhill when the Akechi finally confronted her about her behavior, and told her to tone it down a notch. She left for a few days, and when she came back, naturally, the Akechi (who also happens to be my boyfriend) decided to ask if she had reflected on her actions.

This is where the meat of everything begins. Unfortunately, because of Tumblr’s tendency to fuck up images, it would be tedious to upload every single screenshot at once, so I have taken the liberty of placing the conversation into a drop box link, which can be found here. For context, the conversation between “aruru” and “Godess Bestow” is the conversation. The first three caps in the folder take place after the conversation between them. Also, just to be safe, this link does contain mentions of suicide and self harm. 

Another tl;dr version:

Han admitted to stalking kunaiflourish and continuing to send them memes and messages on anonymous even 5 months after they had blocked her.

Han admitted that she still plans on getting in touch with kunaiflourish and MAKING them write with her.

Han claims that she is not stalking because “no personal information was involved”.

Han refuses to admit that she is in the wrong, and still blames kunaiflourish, stating that kunai NEVER gave an explanation for why they blocked her.

Han tried to force Aruru into talking to kunaiflourish and other RPers to get them to unblock her.

Han sent anonymous messages to Aruru asking why he blocked her, even though he gave his reasons for blocking her and told her to leave him alone.

Han threatened to commit suicide to me after she tried to get answers from ME after Aruru blocked her. As you can see, it didn’t go over well.

After all of this, you would think that Han would have taken the hint and left Aruru alone, even after he blocked her on Tumblr. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case at all, and in fact, Aruru had to turn off anonymous after he received this lovely message from Han:

And I’m not the only person who you sent this shit to, either.

Nice job lying about trying to kill yourself and guilt tripping someone who was fucking uninvolved with the situation.

I believe this is all that needs to be said about the situation, and all of these screenshots speak for themselves. 

Han, if you’re reading this (though I doubt you will. You won’t listen to anyone unless it’s to sugarcoat you and coddle you, right?):

kunaiflourish DID give you your answer for why they won’t write with you and has EXPLICITLY told you to leave them alone. Aruru has also told you to leave him alone, and yet you continue to message them.

Did you know that you can go to JAIL for this? This is enough evidence to have LEGAL CHARGES pressed against you for STALKING. Here is an entire site about it if you don’t believe me.

 You can have a CRIMINAL RECORD, all because you can’t take ‘no’ for an answer. Is that what you want on your hands? A record that could PERMANENTLY ruin your chances at good education and getting a decent job (though, since you’re supposedly 20 years old and still in high school, you did a fine job of doing that on your own), all over ROLE PLAY. All over playing make believe on a blogging website.

Please, for the love of all that is holy, STOP doing this shit. You are not only hurting yourself, but you’re hurting people and only further sullying your reputation. You are making people fear for their wellbeing and actively and KNOWINGLY making people hurt themselves for your own selfish gains. If you are truly as suicidal as you say... Although, I have my doubts, since you’re posting on your blog like everything is all right barely 24 hours after you just threatened suicide,

then please, for the love of god, get some professional help, because you desperately need it. You are going to destroy people’s lives if you keep doing what you do.

REFLECT ON YOUR ACTIONS, AND LEARN FROM YOUR MISTAKES BEFORE YOU DESTROY YOURSELF.

[mahoushoujjo]

Intro

Okay so, for those of you who don’t know! I’m Brianna!! I’ve been Amy’s best friend since I was in 6th grade and she was in 7th. Throughout these ten years I’ve been super incredibly lucky to come to know what an amazing person Amy is. I’ve been with her through all her rough patches, all her good times, all her bad times, her relationships and her breakups as she has been with me. It’s pretty safe to say that we are inseparable at this point lmao.

That being said, I was one of the witnesses to the trainwreck that was her relationship with Mudkip. One of the closest witnesses because I actually was there for one of the big events that happened that I will discuss later on in my post.

I’m making this statement because I absolutely hate when abusers are let off the hook from the horrible things they do. It sickens me that people like Mudkip are allowed to continue living their normal life after wreaking havoc and damaging anothers.

Amy dated Mudkip from November 2016 to the summer of 2017. They met through a mutual friend on Overwatch when Mudkip joined the discord server we were all members on!

Notice: Each section will begin with a quote from Amy that relates to the point of the section. There are receipts to all of the incidents mentioned. If anything is wished to be disputed or if someone needs proof I would be happy to send screenshots. Happy reading!

Pushing Boundaries and Not Respecting Wishes

Things were rocky from the beginning. Mudkip constantly flirted with everyone on the server even after Amy repeatedly told them that she wasn’t comfortable with this. Mudkip would come to me for “advice” while sending me out of context screenshots of their and Amy’s conversation making Amy seem like the bad guy. Mudkip continuously flirted with me and tried to get me on their side. I would be lying if I said that I was never even slightly deceived by her. Luckily, like a rational person I would go to Amy right after and ask what was happening and get the full context. This never stopped Mudkip though. I have screenshots of message after message of them ranting to me about Amy overreacting and “acting out of line.” After a while I started getting fed up with this constant talking behind Amy’s back I told them to basically back off and that I couldn’t be in the middle of things anymore.

However, that didn’t stop the breaking of the boundaries. I remember one particular night, after all of the flirting drama and explaining that it went against Amy’s boundaries, I got a call late at night from Amy. She was crying and wanted to talk to me alone. My (now ex) boyfriend was there at the time so I put on some warm clothes and went outside in the dead of night while it was snowing just to speak to her alone. She was sobbing and having a panic attack because Mudkip was telling her about how they thought that a specific Korean singer in a music video was “sexy” and “hot” and how the video turned them on, and even though Amy was obviously upset about those statements, Mudkip continued in explicit detail. Amy had discussed over and over before with Mudkip by this point about how she didn’t want to know who Mudkip found hot, and especially not details, because of Amy’s rough history with exes cheating and similar situations.

There were many other situations radically similar to this one that I would be glad to bring up if asked but for the sake of how long this already is I’m leaving it at that.

The Great Discord Split of January 2017

“my ex even encouraged me to never talk to my best friend again, who i have known since i was 12. luckily for my best friend and i, we ignored that and made up.”

It only got worse after that moment honestly. Personally in my life I was going through a lot of things. I was being forced to move out of my apartment and leave my life in Dallas behind. One of my close friends and I were in a feud and it was affecting me more than I would like to admit. I was depressed and anxious and crying every day. Yet here comes Mudkip causing drama yet again.

I wasn’t too involved in this drama because I was dealing with so much in my life so I’ll just say exactly what I know. On the discord server there was a slightly annoying dude called Phantom. He was usually online in the early morning hours only because he had work or something, and if someone didn’t like him he was pretty easy to avoid. Mudkip decided that he was a true burden to their existence and basically said “Hey, if you don’t kick Phantom I’m leaving the server”. I guess they expected everyone to be on board with this even though a few people on the server were close with Phantom and didn’t necessarily want to kick him despite his annoyances. When the owner of the server, a super good and close mutual friend of ours, didn’t comply with Mudkip’s request they went absolutely mad.

They basically turned against the entire server. Of course this meant, because Amy was dating them and didn’t want to lose Mudkip, Amy was turned against us as well. Amy was encouraged to not talk to me by Mudkip and this lead to a HUGE rift in mine and Amy’s friendship. We didn’t speak for almost a month because of Mudkip. This made me feel like shit because at the time, it just felt like I was losing everything. But also it sucked because I was watching my best friend be manipulated into doing whatever Mudkip wanted.

Luckily after a while me and Amy started talking again despite Mudkip’s efforts to split us apart. However it did take Amy a while to begin talking to the rest of the server again. After Amy did come back to the old server, Mudkip was jealous predictably and complained about “having no friends” even though Mudkip had isolated Amy from all of these people before...

Mudkip’s Ignoring and Pettiness Towards Me

“if me and my ex were skyping, and my ex went to sleep, i would mute myself and call my best friend often, and look over and see my ex awake and glaring at me. just sitting here. staring me down. as i tried to have one conversation with my best friend.”

While me and Amy began talking again, this apparently really pissed off Mudkip. We were at one point pretty buddy buddy. However after the big discord rift things were never the same between us. Or just in general if we are being honest. I’ve never seen someone get so affected by a relatively small problem in the grand scheme of things.

Mudkip would purposefully ignore me and overall just treat me like shit after the discord drama. It was as if suddenly I had become a huge threat to them or something. Amy was repeatedly told to not tell me that she loved me because “it was weird for friends to say that” or that It made it less special when she said it to Mudkip. It should be stated that Mudkip told me a number of times that they loved me in the past and that they would also flirt a lot with me. But for some reason Amy telling me, her best friend, that she loved me was wrong? Seems fishy.

When we would all play Overwatch together I would be spoken over or just flat out ignored by Mudkip. I’m a Lucio main and for some reason Mudkip would make it a point to comment on how good a Lucio other people were while I was there. I would never get acknowledged when I made good plays or even get a thank you for heals. It was like I wasn’t even there. Mudkip also would make underhanded comments directed towards me and whoever I brought with me into the group. This upset me quite a bit because it made me not even want to play Overwatch with my best friend because it was no fun being treated like shit by Mudkip.

A number of times I “slipped” and said something affectionate towards Amy during the times I would play Overwatch with them and Amy would tell me that Mudkip would private message her telling her to let me know to tone it down or just stop all together. A lot of the times I just left the party.

It got to the point where me and Amy couldn’t even just play Overwatch just me and her anymore. Mudkip always had to be there. If they weren’t they would have a huge depressive, self-pitying meltdown to Amy to where eventually Amy would let them in the party just to shut them up. When they would join the party they Would Just Not Talk. It was silent on their end. There was no attempt to even interact with either of us which made everything extremely awkward.

Then there was the fact that if I ever went to visit Amy Mudkip would get jealous that I was there. They would comment to Amy that they didn’t want me sleeping in the same bed as her (the only other option was a cat pee soaked couch) and that they wanted alone time with her. Even though. I was VISITING.

Eventually I began living with Amy. Sharing a bed has never been a problem with us because we have known eachother for so long that it’s just not a big deal. And honestly, it was sleep with Amy or sleep on the couch which was covered in cat pee because of the years of cat pee abuse by a very naughty cat. However to Mudkip this was the end of the world. I specifically remember a conversation Amy showed me of Mudkip literally asking if I could sleep on the floor and that they would be willing to buy me a sleeping bag. Like???? I’m sorry. I’m sleeping with my best friend thank you.

THE VISIT.

“my best friend was living with me at the time to escape her abusive living situation with her parents. my ex of course had never been happy about that. the first night i picked my ex up was fine. the next day? preluded an entire month or so of living in actual hell.”

Like I mentioned earlier, sometime in April I began living with Amy. Around May Mudkip was set to come visit her for an entire month. (Amy was then set to go to New York for a month, then Mudkip back here. Thus concluding the entire summer) This had upset Amy as well because for one thing, Amy had not explicitly consented to the entire summer being spent with Mudkip but Mudkip had booked it anyways. Secondly, because of all the things I stated above, things were not exactly peachy keen between them two. Amy was constantly complaining about them and just pretty much dreading the entire trip. At the time though, Amy and I had thought that there was some glimmer of hope that things would be okay and things would work out and go back to normal since we would all be under one roof.

We have never been more wrong.

There are really no words to accurately describe the events that happened during that month. I’m being truly serious Like. I’ve never been more frightened and annoyed by a person. I’m getting ahead of myself though. It all began nicely enough. The first night was good. Mudkip got here, we all said hi and greeted eachother and went to bed early after chatting a bit.

The next day things went bad. As if ignoring me on Overwatch wasn’t enough, I found myself getting the silent treatment to my face as well. When me and Amy would have a conversation, Mudkip would not even attempt to pitch in or say anything. They would give both of us the silent treatment, do a little pouty face, and just sit there. They just seemed to want all the attention to be on them.

I’m not an unreasonable person, I did realize that they were a couple. I didn’t want to get in the way of intimate moments or any alone time they wanted to have together. It was not like I was asking to be involved in everything at every moment of the day. I constantly asked Amy if I should leave or if I should give them some space. Amy never wanted me to, especially later on when Amy was afraid to be alone with Mudkip. So I just stayed with them.

Amy was really troubled by Mudkip’s lack of care to engage in conversation with me and when we were all together, so Amy started acting distant towards them. It was sort of “an eye for an eye” thing. Mudkip was acting distant towards us, Amy acted distant towards Mudkip. This led to a lot of very obvious crying from Mudkip. I don’t mean like, a few tears. I mean like. Very loud sobbing coming from Amy’s room. If they weren’t loud sobbing in Amy’s room, they was silent crying in the living room in front of both of us. This only made us more uncomfortable and quite frankly, if I didn’t care for Amy and it was my house I would have just asked them to leave right then and there.

Mudkip never talked to me. For a week it went on like this. It got to the point where eventually me and Amy decided to confront her after they once again, isolated themself in Amy’s room and sobbed. We discussed all our behavior and talked about how we can make things better for all of us. I reassured Mudkip that I didn’t hate them and I was perfectly fine with hanging out with them. They just sat there with a sad face and didn’t really say much if anything at all honestly. Me and Amy left, and hoped for a better tomorrow.

Unfortunately that was not the case. Things never changed. Day after day happened with me being ignored. The silent treatment, the passive aggressiveness. Sure there were some times where we would all KIND OF get along. Such as the night we stayed up until 8am binge watching the entire series “The OA”. Even then, if I can remember correctly Mudkip was annoyed by that because Amy didn’t go to bed with them that night. (BECAUSE WE WERE ALL WATCHING A SHOW!!!! ALL OF US!!!) I can’t stress this enough, every day was fucking awkward.

Mudkip would also do this thing where they would just. Not shower! They would constantly text Amy in the middle of the day, in the living room with all of us hanging around to ask if she wanted to shower with them to initate sex. When Amy said no, Mudkip would just. Not shower. I’m pretty sure throughout the entire stay Mudkip only showered twice. No more than three times. And when they did shower, cue once again the loud sobbing and what sounded like the banging of her head on the wall.

No one was happy. Absolutely no one. Amy was unhappy because of Mudkip’s horrible attitude to not being the center of attention at all times, Mudkip was unhappy because they wasn’t the center of attention, and I was unhappy because I honestly didn’t know what to do with myself. I’m a pretty nervous and anxious person, and having someone around who very obviously is turned off by your presence just made everything really bad for me!

Most of the days leading up to the grand finale of the visit are a blur. Amy began sleeping all day due to depression. Me and Mudkip were often left alone awake. I WILL ADMIT! Me and Mudkip had at least two good days together where we went grocery shopping and made smoothies. It wasn’t bad and honestly, I wish it could have been like that the entire time. But again, two days out of the month that Mudkip was there. Two. Days.

As soon as Amy would wake up though, it went back to the same shit. It was just so stressful and if anyone wants more examples PLEASE don’t hesitate to contact me or Amy. This is already pretty long so I’m just going to cut off there to get to the GRAND FINALE.

THE GRAND FINALE!

“we were frantically calling suicide and self help hotlines and websites, asking for help with the situation. then it got quiet.”

Eventually. As any sane person would, Amy got fed up with this routine. After multiple failed attempts to gently convince Mudkip to go home, especially since we couldn’t afford to feed all of us well let alone go out and do things, Amy finally decided it was time to break up with her.

Oh man guys. This was a wild time. I’m going to sum this up as shortly as I can.

Amy broke up with Mudkip while I was hanging in the room I was sleeping in at the time.

Amy walks into the room with her laptop to hide out and give Mudkip space since they did just break up.

Very shortly after we began hearing very loud screaming and banging coming from outside the room.

Amy went to go check up on Mudkip only to find Mudkip sprawled out on the hallway floor sobbing.

Amy sat with Mudkip for a little bit then came back into the room.

Mudkip was screaming. Crying. SCREAMING.

Me and Amy were panicking and going on multiple different HELP websites as we could to get advice on the situation, but since it was around 4am, we were getting little to no help. We didn’t even have the money to send them home.

Eventually we hear a really loud bang, and then later on a call from Mudkip saying that they had went on a walk. At 4am. In a city they doesn’t know. A city that doesn’t exactly have the best track record when it comes to being safe! They said that they were walking, they didn’t know where they were and were lost. Me and Amy began freaking out. Mudkip said that there was someone watching them. Eventually after everything was settled and Mudkip said they were heading back we hung up the phone.

At this point me and Amy were freaking out because they were just. Wandering the streets sobbing! Once again! At 4am! Eventually we get a text from them saying that a COP! A COP PICKED THEM UP! The cop had seen them and asked if they were in an abusive situation. They had said no but the cop had escorted them back anyways.

I just want to point out that this could have been very bad for Amy and I had the cop decided to follow up and escort them to the door and question us. Not in the sense that we would have gotten in trouble or anything but it would have been really awkward explaining to a fucking cop what had happened that night.

For the rest of the weeks to come, I’m just going to put an excerpt from Amy’s testimony thing here.

“i wanted my ex to go home. you would think they would have booked a flight after being dumped, but no. i couldn’t afford to feed myself st this time, let alone buy a ticket. we had a whole nother week of awkwardness, a week of my ex leaving suicide notes and scary letters out on my Pillow For Me To Find, a week of finding blood in my shower & broken towel racks, and hours of listening to my ex scream and cry in my room, before my ex finally left. i had to break up with my ex an additional time in that period, and only then did my ex finally call their mom to get them a flight home.”

I want to elaborate on a few things here.

We were dirt poor. And because Mudkip was here we couldn’t exactly just. Get jobs! And leave Mudkip home alone! We were living on literal scraps and pennies!

During this week or two, Mudkip acted like things were fine between them and Amy. They would constantly try and snuggle and kiss and hold Amy while we were all in the living room together. (They wouldn’t and couldn’t go home I guess, so we had to include her in things.) This made both me and Amy SEVERELY UNCOMFORTABLE.

When they did finally shower, we would hear banging and sobbing as usual. One particular time they were taking a very long time in there. We got concerned and checked on them only to find that they were laying on the floor of the bathroom.

When they came out I had to use the restroom. I walked in there and saw a blood splatter on the shower wall. That was my breaking point. I wanted them out. Like, how dare they do that? It’s a fucking shower as well so it’s not like they had no means of cleaning it. They wanted us to see! They wanted to guilt Amy even more than they already were!

Shortly after, Amy drove home that they were breaking up, and they left as mentioned above. And thank god too. It was like instant relief.

THE AFTERMATH

I’m going to keep this short and sweet since this is a very long essay and it’s around 1am right now.

After Mudkip went home, Amy wanted to continue being nice and civil towards Mudkip since burnt bridges aren’t always the best thing. However, Mudkip took this as Amy wanting to continue trying to be in a relationship with them.

As if none of the past month had ever happened, Mudkip would continuously text and even call Amy at all times of the day. If Amy didn’t respond Mudkip spammed her phone with literal hundreds of texts and calls wondering where she was, what she was doing, why she wasn’t answering.

Mudkip would send messages to Amy saying things like, “the moon is so pretty out tonight! but not as beautiful as you!” and “boop! :3 (when amy didn’t respond to this they messaged again with) you don’t like my boop? :(“. They also on one occasion sent an explicit message on tumblr which made Amy very uncomfortable.

Message after message was sent to a very annoyed and NOT INTERESTED Amy, but Mudkip never got the hint. Even after Amy would repeatedly tell them that they were crossing boundaries!

If Amy was asleep and didn’t respond, Mudkip called. Mudkip texted. Mudkip probably wanted to call the fucking cops who knows. Mudkip did nothing but OBSESS over Amy for weeks after they went home.

Recently a hurricane hit our area and Mudkip somehow even used THAT to try and get back together with Amy. they told her, “hey i’m probably going to go down to texas soon to help out the harvey victims!” This obviously wasn’t true. This was just a scheme to try and reconnect yet again with Amy.

Basically, that was the ridiculous last straw and I ended up sending her a harsh call out on twitter and her contact with Amy and anyone really associated with her dropped to almost none.

That was my account on the situation. It left not only me emotionally drained, but it really took a toll on Amy too. I’m not saying we were perfect in the situation, because we weren’t. Things could have been handled differently I’m aware of that. However, what Mudkip put us through was inexcusable.