#Uncle has a favorite

[pockethep]

Imagine being a guy who is really devoted to your job as an information broker for a hitman organization in the 21st century. Imagine being largely confined to a shady bar in a city alleyway where your main customers are all variations of hitmen and other shady people. Imagine knowing that however important you are, a disgruntled employee or someone screwed over by the organization you devoted your life to could come and enact vengeance on you. Imagine living your life with the healthy fear that this organization will take you out if you show any signs of threatening them. Now imagine that two idiot "definitely not in-love" hitmen manage to fuck up two important jobs in a row and it takes you a lot of effort covering up their mistakes. Imagine after having them lay low and refraining from giving them jobs they show up with a child. This is the child of the man they killed on the first mission they messed up. Imagine having to watch those two somehow manage parenthood when they forgot that daycare existed. Everyday kugi kyutaro wakes up.

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 165

Danny is rather bemused but honestly with how his life is, this might as well happen. Apparently he has seven more siblings now, and a whole second dysfunctional family. And apparently he, Ellie and Jordan are the babies of the family. So. 

Could Clockwork have mentioned that one of his variants had children before? Maybe, but this gets him out of becoming ghost king at the age of fourteen, which is a baby to the Realms anyway. 

Well, hopefully their new siblings will be fine with them… 

[2deadkat]

Just some portraits of the Stilton mice + some hcs

[mariatesstruther]

okay but sarah celebrating tommy every year for mother’s day

[fearofgodandtolkien]

SDV HEADCANON

There's a dialogue that happens where Rasmodius says he's keeping an eye out for an apprentice.

It's this one if you were wondering. My headcanon is that in the future, Jas will become the Wizard's apprentice and eventually the new wizard of the valley, as opposed to Abigail. She's quiet and studious and is wary of many things, but also adventurous in her own way. These are all great traits for a wizard. Besides, she lives maybe a ten minute walk away from Rasmodius' home, and I can guarantee she's snuck up there and checked the place out at least once.

Also, imagine how adorable that story would be!! This little girl meets a strange man and eventually endears herself to him through her curiosity and unexpected wisdom, he begins teaching her about his craft, she becomes a wizard! Jas and Rasmodius would be the best little sunshine girl and grumpy uncle pairing ever. And then he might start connecting with the rest of the townsfolk because Jas keeps spotting him at events and dragging him out to see things and under the circumstances he can't really avoid meeting people.

[figofswords]

wow I didn’t think reblogging that tea post and then seeing people’s tags would deal me such strong psychic damage. come over I can fix you I can find a tea you will like. “I don’t like tea” how can you say that as a blanket statement when there are so many vastly different kinds of tea. head in hands

[allgremlinart]

"batman would adopt zuko haha" WRONG !!!! he would adopt AANG !!!!!!!

[mizgnomer]

More Staged 3 Behind-the-Scenes Photos (Part Two)

See also [ Part One ] [ Part Three ] and [ Staged 3 Promo Photos ]

…with special thanks to the Instagram and social media accounts of Georgia Tennant, Anna Lundberg, Simon Evans, Lucy Eaton and more

[mitskijamie]

Little baby phoebe 😭 I love fics where jamie becomes like a third parent to her, I think they get along super well and it would heal a lil part of jamie

I KNOWWWW.....he is so good with kids, it's so precious :( when he asked her if it was her Range Rover out front and she was like "🙄 no it's my mum's 🙄" and he was like "ah. yeah makes sense" 💘💖💘💘💗💖💖💖💓

I think he'd be a little nervous being an active part of a child's life at first (he's so worried about turning into his dad) but he acclimates quickly once he gets a sense of how comfortable she is around him (so unlike Jamie with his dad, who always terrified him). He's way more afraid of Phoebe than she is of him 🙏🙏

Although I think Jamie would be more like a cool hip young uncle than a third parent. He has a cool accent and cool clothes and he listens to cool new music and lets her use his phone to play with TikTok filters where you can shoot ice out of your mouth or look like a monkey. Plus he doesn't know anything about raising a child, so when he watches her she can blatantly lie to him like "my mum says my bed time is 11:45" and he's like "oh ok mint 👍"

[somerandommess]

Maxiel au.

Almost 2000 words

Inspired by something I had quite the laugh about ‘help I accidentally called my potential sperm donor sobbing and now he doesn’t want to do that anymore. What do I do’

content warning: mention of mpreg

As it neared the end of Daniels 30th birthday, he found himself sitting on the floor of his kitchen with his back to the cupboard. Micheal and Blake were there too, passing a bottle of scotch between them. Daniel stopped drinking a while ago but still had that level of drunkenness where his tongue was loose .

“Do you guys ever think about having kids?”

Blake, who was bringing the bottle to his lips paused and watched him dead on. Micheal did the same.

He felt uncomfortable under their gaze and shifted, trying to play it off as the cupboard handle digging into his back.

Blake put the bottle down, “What?”

Daniel looked away, “I mean children. Little sticky hand, snot nosed kids.”

Micheal grabbed the bottle and passed it to him, “Where’s this coming from DR?”

Daniel picked at the label on the bottle.

“I don’t know, I mean I’m getting older. I know my mum wants more grandchildren and I just- I thought I’d be married with at least two kids by now”

Micheal and Blake said nothing, the silence made him uncomfortable.

He likes children, he knows that much. He loves being an uncle, but sometimes he thinks about having his own little child to laugh at when they fall down. He was in a relationship before and they talked about children. He and the guy had been together for four years but he left when Daniel brought up kids. Daniel was going to propose, so guess he dodged a bullet there.

Sometimes he dreams about curly haired children running wild in his mother’s backyard. In the dreams they look like him but in a weird distorted dream way. There’s also a guy there with them, tall and blond. His ex was blond so he thinks it was him. Ironic.

He always wakes up sad from those dreams.

“You could get a donor,” Blake says. Micheal finishes the bottle and nods his head aggressively.

Daniel watches them wide-eyed.

“What?”

“A sperm donor, there are clinics in Monaco that do that.”

Daniel laughed, “You’re joking,”

Blake fixed his stare on him, “I’m serious”

“Mate I’m not having some random guys baby just because I want kids. What if he’s a ginger?” He tries to joke but his heart is racing a mile a minute. All of a sudden he’s stone cold sober.

A sperm donor? Really? Actually, it’s not the craziest thing. He’s not drunk enough for this.

Micheal chimes in, “Maybe you could have a F1 drivers baby. I heard some of them have done it. Or a doctor,”

“What if he tries to, I don’t know, reach out? Isn’t the point to be anonymous?”

Blake fixes his glasses, “Actually, some places ask if you want to meet the person. Or if you want to be totally anonymous. It’s up to you.”

“How do you know so much about this shit?” Micheal asks.

Blake shifts and tries to stretch out his leg, “I just do.” He pulls out his phone and starts typing something.

Daniel watches him cautiously, “What are you doing?”

“Sending you clinic options for you to research or go to, incase this isn’t just a drunken confession and you actually want to do this,”

His phone pings and he sees that he sent him three clinics close to him to try. His heart pounds. He’s just a semi decent artist, whose work has been featured in museums. He can’t even make a proper omelette without burning the sides, and he’s thinking about children? Christ, what was he thinking?

Micheal seems to sense the mental battle that he’s having and places a hand on his knee. “Hey, we‘ll support you no matter the choice”

“Yeah. You don’t have to go or do anything,” Blake puts the phone away, “but if you do, you’ll have Micheal and I to help”

Daniel feels his eyes watering. “Thanks guys,”

They sit in silence for a while. He checks the clock on the wall, 12:10 am. His birthday is over.

“I think I’ll go,”

..

“I’ll obviously be the favorite uncle,”

“I think Scotty just shuddered at the thought of that actually, and he’s like halfway around the world right now”

————

Two weeks later he goes to one of the clinics. It had the best reviews out of the ones Blake sent.

He meant to go earlier but a museum called and asked to feature some of his work in an exhibition. He couldn’t say no. They also said they’d pay extra if he could procure a new piece so he spent many nights coming up with something perfect.

He walks in and goes to the counter. The receptionist is an old lady with…brightly colored hair. She smiles up at him and he explains why he’s here. He’s given some forms to fill out and he goes and sits in one of the chairs.

As he’s filling out the form, his stomach twists. He’s actually doing this. He considers just running out but he made up his mind. He wants the sleepless nights and the early mornings. He wants this. It doesn’t help that he and Michelle spent an entire two hour call just looking at baby clothes.

A nurse comes out from the back and calls him into one of the rooms. The receptionist, Gertrude as her name tag says, smiles at him as he goes inside.

When he enters the office, the doctor gets up from her chair to shake his hand.

“Good afternoon Daniel, I’m Doctor Felix but you can call me Janine if you’d like,”

He shakes her hand and greets her. She has a warm smile and kind eyes. He sits in the chair and relaxes immediately.

They start talking about why he’s here and other important stuff.

Financial and living situation, the procedure, and the donor process.

“Some donors actually leave their name and contact info just incase the recipient wants to meet or needs support,”

She types something on her keyboard,

“Though most just stay anonymous. Are you interested in keeping contact with your potential donor?”

He shrugs and looks off to the side. He hadn’t thought of it. He thinks he’s capable of raising a kid on his own. And it’s not like he’ll be completely alone, with his Mum and Dad, Michelle, Micheal, Blake, and Scotty.

Maybe he’ll keep the number, just incase.

When they’re done, she sends him off with some pamphlets and a date to come back.

He heads out and even though Gertrude is attending to another person, she waves him goodbye.

————

When he comes back, he ends up getting the contact number for his donor.

Max V.

He doesn’t plan on using it. He knows the clinic will notify him something along the lines of ‘Hey, this random guy is taking your sperm thx for your service’

So he doesn’t expect to contact him or be contacted.

His plan doesn’t completely work.

He’s been taking these supplements to do something. He can’t remember. Increase the chance of it sticking he guesses. It makes his hormones act up and sometimes, like tonight, makes him bawl hysterically.

He calls Micheal crying and doesn’t even give him the chance to speak before he’s rambling.

“Mikey I can’t do this. A child? What was I thinking! I can’t even cook! What am I meant to feed a baby?,”

He hears as if he’s about to say something but continues talking, “And don’t say that omelettes and oatmeal is cooking. It’s not! What about my art? I’m going to have to stop painting. The fumes Mikey!”

He pauses

“I’m going to have to go back to traditional!” He sobs some more.

“Or maybe photography. I always liked that,”

He collects himself. Micheal stays quiet. He takes a deep breath,

“Im just overthinking, the stupid hormones. It’s only going to get worse when i actually get pregnant. Let’s hope this Max guys sperm knows what it’s doing,”

Micheal is still silent.

“Micheal?”

He checks removes the phone from his ear checking to see if he’s muted. That would be embarrassing.

The phone screen lights up and-

This is not Micheal.

The name reads Max V.

“Shit.”

He blurts out a quick ‘sorry’ and hangs up.

“Fuuuck”

He opens WhatsApp and creates a chat with Max V.

Hey, I’m sorry about that. I thought you were my friend Micheal.

This is the guy who’s going to take your sperm btw.

Daniel

He cringes. So much for no contact. The message gets blue ticked and then Max V. Is typing.

Are you okay?

Mentally?

And. Ok, rude. Just because he had a crisis over the phone doesn’t mean he’s not ok.

He responds

Yes lol.

Max V. Is typing. But then it goes away.

Daniel locks his phone and runs a hand through his hair.

“Shit”

————

When he goes to follow up with Dr. Felix, she tells him that his original donor declined.

“What?”

“He says something happened recently and now he’s no longer a potential sperm donor… for you”

He blinks.

“Excuse me,”

He pulls out his phone and opens his chat with Max.

Did you really cancel my appointment just because I accidentally called you crying?

You called at 1 am, crying hysterically. Forgive me if I’m having second thoughts

Fuck you

He locks his phone.

————

“He really did that?”

“YES! So what if the hormones made me cry? That’s normal. Ugh. Asshole.”

Daniel shoved a piece burnt toast in his mouth. He chewed on the charred bread. He should really learn how to cook properly. But what do Babies know? They drink milk for like…ever! He has time to figure it out.

Blake watched him and cautiously drank his orange juice.

“I swear, if I ever meet him, I’ll give him a piece of my mind,”

Blake set the cup down and looked like he was going to speak before taking another sip.

Daniel narrowed his eyes, “What?”

Blake shook his head but mumbled something under his breath.

Daniel raised his eyebrow and kicked his shin under the table.

“Ow. I just- What if you…met him? Not to argue but to hear him out? Make him reconsider?”

Daniel pondered the idea. He took another bite of his burnt toast.

It’s not the craziest idea he’s had. No, that was moving to Monaco.

“Yeah, I could do that,”

Yes. He’ll meet Max and demand his sperm back.

Wait.

He’ll word it better.

He pulls out his phone and opens the chat.

————

probably many errors in here

Can you tell I know very little about this topic? lmao

Max is still an F1 driver, Daniel is an artist.

Maybe I’ll do a part 2 lol

[e-adlirez]

Just looked on the older books for refs of Thea and

Boi Curse of the Cheese Pyramid is insane

It literally starts with G heading to work on time at 9, but William comes in like "BOI YOU'RE SPENDING TOO MUCH MONEY ON THE GAZETTE YOU HAVE TO CUT DOWN THE BUDGET" (Imagine this screamed directly into Geronimo's ear)

Obviously William's definition of "cut down the budget" is this

TW: Spoilers for Curse of the Cheese Pyramid, William behavior, do not click on if you don't want a spike in blood pressure

If you choose to turn away now, the following fume was just an intermission for finding this picture lmao

He pawned over everything (and I mean EVERYTHING) in Geronimo's office, from his desk to his armchair to his carpet to his book collection to his art collection, and replaced it all with a single plastic chair and desk ("All you need in an office is a desk and chair!")

He fired ALL THE STAFF and decided that only family members will be working for the paper (because family members don't need to be paid as much probably (if at all) when working for a family business-- they all share their finances with each other, anyway maybe (it's not clear what their salaries are gonna be (wanna bet G is paid minimum wage while Thea is paid 50% of the Gazette's monthly expenses after this clean sweep))). The only person spared from the firing spree was Shif T. Paws, the Gazette's sales manager, who apparently offered to work there for free.

He delegates all the work of the Gazette to four people-- G does all the office work (taking calls, building maintenance, writing, editing, printing, clientele stuff), Thea does all the interviews and field work stuff, Trap does all the cooking, and Benjamin is "William's personal assistant". Lord knows what that last position means for little Benji. (Okay reading ahead Benjamin seems fine, but he does say that William is "a bit pushy".)

He sends G out on a work holiday thing and he overworks the crap out of everyone, to the point where even Thea is sick of William's senile old-fashioned ass, and it seems that the Gazette was also going downhill because of this mouse furry ripoff Daniel Dancer. (To give a preview of what he did in the working perspective, he basically had Trap work seven days a week)

He was planning to have staff give use old newspaper instead of toilet paper (T&B expenses), make a 30-second time mechanism for the restrooms (to maximize manpower efficiency and possible humiliation for anyone going number 2), and was considering cutting all electricity to the building and just have staff work on typewriters "just like the old days".

This man's senile ass--

[veone]

weed vs coke

[opaleyedprince]

obligatoryyyy jjk oc post time!

kamo sakuya || kamo senri onoue (zenin) anzu || inumaki aiichiro gojo nagisa || gojo hokuto

sakuya is one of a pair of twins born to the kamo clan a year before gojo's own birth. even as a child, he displayed obvious signs that he had inherited the clan's technique of blood manipulation. this coupled with his mastery of reverse cursed technique at a young age greatly reduced the limiting factor of the family technique, allowing him to develop his own offensive and defensive uses of it and truly make the technique his own; not simply a tool he happened to be given by the family.

he was hailed as the up-and-coming head of the clan and promised to a child of the gojo clan in both of their youth. though he was a frail thing in his younger years, when he and his twin attended kyoto jujutsu high he developed a love for strategy and battle that suited his stubbornness and capacity for staying positive in the face of what others would consider certain defeat. in the present, he acts as the clan head, doing his best to efficiently take care of his duties and responsibilities so he can spend his time off with one or both of his husbands.

senri is sakuya's twin, and while he inherited the clan technique, she was born with no cursed energy whatsoever, not even possessing the ability to see curses. with her heavenly restriction, senri has advanced senses and reflexes, including a highly refined danger sense that allows her to not even need to see curses and makes her a beast in combat; after years of training, she is even able to control how sharp each sense is at any given time, such as holding back her strength or dulling her senses on purpose in order to interact with the outside world without it overwhelming her.

she refuses to tolerate anyone talking down to her or her brother, and she is not afraid to goad people when she knows the situation will ultimately shake out in her favor. even as a child, she had a knack for reading people's emotions, a talent she used to embarrass the adults in her life a lot. she and her brother are each the other's keeper, and so long as he has any say in the matter she will always have a place in the family. like her brother, she is very stubborn, a trait that has served her well over the years and made her unshakeable in the face of those who deride her presence in the sorcerer world.

anzu was born outside the zenin clan, and in fact outside the jujutsu world altogether. her mother left the clan at a young age and took up freelance work as a sorcerer, eventually meeting and falling in love with a fashion designer. although she has no connection to the zenin (who were told she had no cursed energy or potential whatsoever upon her birth), her other mother's side of the family is quite large and very well-off, and they all adore her dearly. she was afforded every opportunity as she grew up on one of the family's many estates, learning physical and jujutsu combat from her zenin mother and being tutored by her other mother in non-sorcerer areas of study.

a true prodigy from birth, her technique manifested when she was only four years old: shadow manipulation and the ability to summon shikigami. with her access to private tutors and the expertise of her mother, she flourished. she speaks at least three languages apart from japanese and japanese sign language, and is working towards degrees in business and textile sciences. when she was around ten, the estate was visited by a white-haired man who was unbothered by her mother's blade at his throat, and claimed he only wanted to help them. in the present, anzu is intermittently visited by one satoru gojo (sometimes accompanied by one or both of his husbands) for additional jujutsu training, and she looks forward to the day when she'll be able to leave the estate for extended periods of time.

aiichiro is a little over a year younger than toge, and although they aren't actually siblings (rather they're cousins) he still views him as a big brother figure and someone he holds up as the exact sort of sorcerer he wants to be. he has the snake eyes and fangs inscribed on his cheeks and tongue in white rather than the black marks toge bears, and as a child he followed the other boy everywhere he went, always copying him or begging to get clothes/food/other things that were just like his. the two were almost inseparable, and the entire family assumed they would both become accomplished sorcerers.

as he grew, aiichiro developed a stutter, and this coupled with his generally shy and withdrawn nature, and his appreciation of things most others found distasteful (bugs, "pest" animals, and death) made him the target of severe bullying at the hands of other children. because of this, he spoke less and less as he grew older, wearing a mask to hide his cursed speech markings and writing most of the time; only using sign to communicate with people he trusted and felt comfortable around. in the present, he is working privately with two members of tokyo jujutsu high's staff to catch up to toge and the others, refining his technique and trying to find a reliable method of strengthening his vocal cords.

nagisa is a gojo who obviously inherited both of the clan's techniques from birth, surviving assassination attempt after assassination attempt as she grew up with very few protections provided to her. the attacks on her life forced her to grow quickly, and she developed a paranoid streak that - while inconvenient for those around her - kept her alive. she spent more time as a special grade than she did as a non-special grade, and as a result of her experiences she is curt and fatalistic when it comes to the world around her. she survives on a steady diet of coffee and one to two meals per day, and is very frugal with her money despite her family's status.

her decision to have a child was born out of a desire for someone she could trust, something that would be hers and not belong to the clans or the higher-ups of the sorcerer world. when it appeared her child had inherited no technique at all, she didn't mind; the child was special to her simply by coming into the world. she was considered the best and regularly given missions that would have been suicide for anyone else, until one day she failed to return from a routine assignment. in the present, all existence of her has been wiped from the records, with the only remaining sign of her being a redacted report that lists her as missing in action.

hokuto spent their youngest years without a single sign that they had inherited any technique; in fact, many of the clan members assumed they must have had a heavenly restriction. for those who targeted them, it was considered almost a mercy to remove the ungifted child of the gojo family from the world. it was only after a particularly close attempt on their life that they revealed they had in fact inherited both clan techniques, and had been repressing their cursed energy due to the stress simply existing put on their mother's body. they spent their childhood training with their mother, who taught them everything she knew about their family techniques; even sharing things she had kept from every other soul alive and allowing them to bloom into a gifted jujutsu user. she didn't teach them out of a desire for a soldier, but rather because she wanted them to be able to survive anything the world threw at them.

when not training, they spent their time playing in the woods or bothering another child several years older than them - a member of the zenin clan who had been born compltely without cursed energy - much to that child's annoyance. it was only after their mother vanished on a mission that hokuto's attitude of nothing mattering crystallized into an almost malicious noncompliance, and upon graduating they departed from the jujutsu world altogether, severing their ties to it completely. in the present, they spend most of their days using six eyes to cheat at cards and otherwise swindle people out of their money. they have a general disregard for respect towards their elders and have nothing but disdain for their world. simply put, they are a deadbeat sorcerer.

[mxwhore]

came home early and 😶

[luthienne]

june <3

[quins-makeshift-menagerie]

My heart is breaking for poor little Clio. ;m;

Such a sad lil bean!!

Clio’s definitely the more emotional of the trio. They’ll be alright though úwù