#Vlad goddamnit why are you like this | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

eridanidreams · 5 months

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WIP Wednesday

from stars through my fingers like grains of sand

Tagging: @bearlytolerant, @silurisanguine, @aro-pancake, @fangbangerghoul, @atonalginger, @aislingdmdt, @fshenkoescape, @ninjaofnaps, @lisa-and-shadow, @a-cosmic-elf, @thatsgoodsquishy0, @hockeydemon42, @fomagranfalloon, @violenceandviolets, and @artemis-crimson

Sam lounged on the couch in "his" room of the Razorleaf, sipping a cup of coffee, staring out at space, and brooding. Turned out it hadn't been that easy to find the big anomaly Vlad spotted after all—his initial scans had only gotten it down to one hemisphere, and they'd had to spend a couple days doing orbital surveys. Vlad had that data now; hopefully it wouldn't be much longer for him to sift through it. Everyone wanted to see what this next big find would uncover, and the unspoken pressure was making Cait antsy.

Not, he thought, that anyone but him noticed—she was scrupulous about keeping her moods from affecting anyone else. He only knew because—because he couldn't help but notice. Because somehow she'd become the second most important person in his life. He set the empty cup aside, burying his face in his hands. He'd thought—god, he'd thought he'd read her right. That she was leaning towards him just as he was her. So what had gone wrong?

He groaned. He had, of course. Was almost like he could hear the echo of the old man's voice in his head. Goddamnit, Samuel James, can't you do anything right? Anger snarled through him, propelling him to his feet; he needed to hit something. He snatched up a pair of ashta-leather gloves and yanked them on as he stalked over to the speed bag. He thought better when he was doing something; plus, it let him get his frustrations out.

Sam started with a nice, easy pattern—one-two-three right, one-two-three left. Back and forth, fists circling in short arcs, hitting the bag in the same place every time. Don't matter how angry you are, chico. Bag don't care. Now you start over and you do it right. One-two-three— That had been Diego, who'd been one of the few that saw behind the "angry Coe brat" to the wounded boy who needed some rough mentoring.

One-two-three right one-two-three left. His fault. He knew he had a tendency to pull away from people when he had something he needed to think about; he could—should have at least said something to her. Hell, Cait probably thought it was her fault. One-two-three right one-two-three left. Of course she thought it was her fault. She was exquisitely sensitive to people's feelings. "You had to go on about Lillian, didn't you?" One-two-three right one-two-three left. The worst part of it was, it seemed to be straining their friendship, too. She seemed—different. More distant. He couldn't put his finger on exactly what it was, but…

He changed up the rhythm. One-one two-two, a fast, rolling pattern. "Just tell her how you feel, already," he muttered, knowing damn well he wasn't going to. Great with a quip or a smartass remark, but when it came to baring his heart, he was like a child stumbling in the dark. One-one two-two. He was trying to show her. It was hard, though, when compliments, however true, flustered her, and when she didn't seem to know what the hell he meant when he flirted with her. One-one two-two. He closed his eyes, continuing the pattern by pure feel and muscle memory. He was trying so hard not to overwhelm her, but why the hell couldn't she see?

His mind pulled up a remembered image on the dark canvas of his inner vision: Cait on Akila, looking shocked at his support of her. Followed by other images: her discomfort with small talk, her bewilderment at a friendly gesture—her face, white and strained, when she triggered one of the landmines in her head. "Fuck!" he snarled, giving the bag one final hammer-blow before stepping back.

Of course she couldn't see. He damn well knew—she'd even told him—she didn't know what to do with a kind word. Had gone from the kind of life where you learned to eat heatleech to—hell, even he found Constellation a little claustrophobic sometimes. She had shit in her head that nobody—not even her—understood; his best guess was, she'd been part of an experiment she goddamn well hadn't consented to, and she got to pay the price for it. All that, and every ashta-fucking time the universe kicked her in the pins, she just picked herself up and kept going. Hell—he looked around his room, with a window out to the stars and a bed that fit, right next to a room for Cora—her own mind punished her for thinking about a home for herself, but she'd gone out of her way to build one for the two of them. "Dammit, darlin'," he muttered, "you make it so easy for everyone else no one notices how hard it is for you. And that just ain't right."

He grabbed a towel and a bathrobe and padded to the head. A quick shower to sluice the sweat off, and then he'd try to come up with a plan to work things out between them—because damned if he was going to give up on something—someone—special.

#starfield #sam coe #eridani writes #caitlyn lynch #fanfic #stars through my fingers like grains of sand #wip wednesday #sam needs a hug

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ao3screenshotss · 1 year

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It really doesn't help that Vlad's ghost form looks like a Dracula wannabe. Like, they even originally wanted to make him a vampire too, but the higher-ups said no.

I'm actually quite grateful for that, bc from a storyline standpoint Vlad Masters/Plasmius being a ghost is much more interesting. If you ever watch the show, you'll learn why. :3

wait no now i really wanna watch the show goddamnit

ive also heard of the danny phantom and batman crossovers so now i wanna watch it even more

there's three seasons so i might watch it later but if i do watch it expect some danny phantom screenshots - thank you for the rec!!

#ive always seen it around but now i really wanna watch it #the fact that there's a character named vlad is even better #replies #danny-pudi-with-scissors

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theplanetprince · 2 years

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I'm on the fence with some characters, like I just don't see/feel the appeal of them, which is fine. Like I guess it's my brain and how it works, but I don't think it's necessary for Dan to have a redemption arc or even a contiunation, bc like most of the 'event' episode villains are extremely over powered one offs that don't really mean anything to me as characters. And Dan as a character isn't nearly as interesting as he is just a straight up villain. Like do I really think there needs to be three Dannys? Absolutely not! That is... Completely unnecessary and shows complete weakness as a character writer. Yes, im including Danielle (she will get her own post eventually when my thoughts are clear)

I used to think the ultimate enemy was by far the weakest episode to air, like right next to phantom planet. I know that is some fighting words, I've mellowed out in my age, but I still wouldn't say Ultimate Enemy breaks the my top ten. I wouldn't recommend it to anyone as their gateway either.

I would label Ultimate Enemy as a Fanservice episode first and foremost. Youre basically seeing these already cool teens as even cooler adults-- like hello. And as a seven year old, that type of speculative storytelling was fun.

If I could compare it to anything I would compare it to the Dragon Ball Z Broly movies. Everybody loves the visuals and the fights, but no one ever like... Talks about how dumb Broly's origin story is. Broly as an infant basically got annoyed by a baby crying next to him and vowed to kill him as an adult.

I think the Ultimate Enemy as a story introduces many exciting concepts. Like two different ghost halves can fuse to make a whole ghost (like think of the potential there), and of course Clockwork. The fenton technology helped danny in a major way, which in a way symbolizes that even in the most hopeless situation, his family would always be there for him. As well as the idea that yes these characters do have the potential to die, and do! (So any post canon fuckery that the ghosts are interdimensional beings is invalid :))

I think the best concept that ultimate enemy raises is that Danny always has the potential to be evil within him. He just lacks the motivation. But as I've mentioned in my previous posts Danny isn't really a typical super hero, hes kind of an asshole to his classmates and uses the justification that his classmates hate him anyway-- so why not get impulsive revenge? Like hes not a morally grey or morally complex character by any means. He's simply an impulsive kid with anger issues. The horror comes from the fact that he has the unspoken god like power that he can choose to unleash on his classmates whenever he gets shorted tater tots in the cafeteria that day.

Dan needs to be evil for that horror to work. That isn't to say I don't think he could ever like change, but he's fine as is. His entire narrative purpose is to be evil so we could see a speculative take on what it would be like if Danny ever did fall of the deep end. (Which I would argue Vlad already did in his debut episodes, but ILL PUT IT IN ANOTHER POST GODDAMNIT)

Then there are the things that keep this episode from being in my favorites. And it purely has to do with the fact that this episode completely breaks the inherent tragedy behind the ghost concept and the world building. The ghosts still technically AGE in the ghost zone... Which is like... No they don't... Are you telling me Sidney Poindexter just has an amazing skin care routine to look sixteen for fifty years? Or Eudora and her brother, what's up with them? Also the ghosts can have children. Which... Is a choice. I mean the joke about the box ghost going on ghost p90x and becoming a fuck monster is still funny but do I think it's funny enough to snap the entire world in half? No. (Yes, the Box ghost's dick broke the canon. That's what im saying.) Dan is still tied to this concept because he ages too. Or you could argue Danny's ghost half took Vlad's middleagedness, I guess??

Also like the splitting of Dannys ghost and human half only works for this episode. Because in the dream catcher ep, it turns out if left unattented Danny's ghost half is basically superman and Danny's human half is the scum of the earth.

And again Dan, is an interesting concept, but the fact that he manifests directly as a concept of Danny choosing the "easy" way in academics was the completely wrong way to show Danny's vices. Especially when he has so many vices.

#danny phantom #dp #long post//#long post #dan phantom #txt

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phantomphangphucker · 4 years

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Phango - Phabulous Phashion

(”It’s not gay if he’s dead + Tucker punches Vlad + Identity Reveal)

Danny’s gonna use the school hallways as his personal fashion runway.

Danny’s walking by a store but jerks to a stop, walking backwards some to stare in through the window; lips twitching up into a lopsided smile.

-Next Morning-

Danny walks up to his locker with a cocky grin, spotting Sam and Tucker. Danny quickly leans against the lockers and puts his hand on Tucker’s shoulder, “hey”.

“Did you just...give me the shoulder touch?”, Tucker snorts, “dude, that’s so gay”.

Danny just wiggles his eyebrows dramatically and waits for Tucker to notice. Sam notices first however and promptly facepalms. But her eyeballing gets Tucker to look down at Danny’s shirt, reading ‘it’s not gay if he’s dead’. Tucker blinks once, twice, three times, before curling up and laughing; clapping Danny on the shoulder multiple times in the process.

“Dude! Where!”, straightening up, “also, that was the single best joke you’ve ever made”.

Danny smirks, the joke really only works because he knew what Tucker would say, “lets just say, there’s a wonderfully spooky new store in town and I am broke”, Danny waits a bit while his two friends shake their heads with mischievous smiles before he picks back up, “I also need a bigger closet”.

Sam and Tucker share a look before Tucker looks at Danny, “so you’re actually going the wear different clothing every day for once?”.

Sam smirks, “do we need to set up a fashion runway? I’m pretty sure there’s actually one in my house”.

Danny smirks almost cruelly, “wonder how long it’ll take before people start questioning my fashion choices”.

Sam and Tucker sigh, speaking in unison, “this is going to end badly”.

--Line Break--

Danny’s pulling books out of his locker and quickly hides his smirk as his two friends approach. Speaking as Tucker opens his own locker, “so the new Pokemon game’s coming out. Who you gonna choose?”.

“The rabbit thingy I think, you?”.

Danny closes the locker door and smirks. Tucker, remembering yesterday's bullshit promptly looks down. Danny’s shirt reading, ‘CHOOSE DEATH’, Tucker can’t help but laugh, “now that’s a little on the nose”, pointing at Danny, “and you didn’t choose shit”.

Danny huffs, “hey now, I went in knowing full well what would happen the second time. And y’all never forced me to go it in, in the first place”.

Tucker rolls his eyes, “debatable. Plus, you’re not technically dead. At least not entirely”.

“Yeah, I guess death isn’t one of those things were a half-off coupon really applies”, Danny smirks slightly, “and if y’all think you’re even slightly truly responsible, then maybe you two should get ‘Reaper Crew’ shirts. Thinking you’re my little personal reapers and shit”.

“Danny dude, we literally reap ghosts. As in we gather them up? You really should study vocabulary once and a while”, Tucker slightly regrets his words as he watches a wicked smile spread across Danny’s face.

--Line Break--

Danny’s still trying to figure out how he’s going to make a joke out of today’s fashion choices when Dash practically hands it to him. Overhearing Dash jeering at some freshman, “what you think hiding around your tall friend’s gonna make you bully-proof?”.

Danny snaps his head around painfully and near inhumanely fast, Sam and Tucker exchanging a glance as Danny strides over and floor slides dramatically to be in front of Dash. Danny grins, “everybody knows I sure as shit ain’t, but guess what I am?!?”, Danny gestures at his shirt because he knows Dash is an idiot.

Dash looks down and reads Danny’s shirt ‘Death Proof’ and mutters, “goddamnit Fentoast”, and restrains a chuckle.

Tucker leans over to Sam, “I like how yesterday’s shirt basically said ‘I’m dead’ and today’s says ‘I’m not dead’. Not to mention subtly hinting at the whole probable immortality thing”.

Danny smirks at them as he dodges out of the way of Dash trying to grab at him. Both of them running after him to hide behind the school.

Danny digs in his pockets and shoves t-shirts at them. Tucker quirks an eyebrow, “seriously? I thought you were broke”.

“I’m broke-er”.

Sam looks over the black ‘Reaper Crew’ shirt and shrugs. Pulling it on while gesturing at Danny’s pans, “why do you guys always get to have such massive pockets”, looking down at the shirt before quirking an eyebrow at Danny, “did you memorise our clothing sizes?”.

Danny rolls his eyes, “I’ve literally worn your bodies, I know how they fit”.

Tucker blinks, “you know, that sounds way creepier when you actually say it like that”. Danny just chuckles.

--Line Break--

Danny’s laying in his desk as Mr. Lancer comes in. Quickly calling attendance and ignoring how Danny smirks when he says, “here!”. But he can’t help but chuckle, amused by Danny’s antics, when he gets fed up with Danny’s inattentive resting and calls on him to sit up straight. Actually having to pause and laugh to himself a bit at Danny leaning back in the chair and throwing an arm over the back of it. Making his shirt, which reads ‘Here Lies’ over the image of a tombstone, very noticeable.

Lancer grumbles to himself, “I wish he’d put as much effort into his classwork as jokes”, then raising an eyebrow ever so slightly over Daniel suddenly looking a little sheepish and rubbing his neck; pretty well sure Daniel has somehow heard Lancer's mutterings.

--Line Break--

Danny planned out his next apparel choice with precision. Waiting till Red was in a pissy enough mood to go after Phantom a bit more aggressively before school. Struggling to keep the smile off his face as he slips out of the bathroom after changing back human and fixing up his wounds.

Sam grumbling at him as he gets to his locker, her looking at her phone -going over today’s morning ghost news- all the while, “she’s going after you pretty aggressively again. What did you do to piss her off now?”.

Danny shrugs, “might be because I kept stealing her captures”.

Tucker elbows him, “one of these days she’s going to genuinely get you good, you know”. The girl was cute and he knew Danny still liked her but she was really a threat.

Danny smiles more earnestly then, sighing almost wistfully, “maybe she’ll really be the death of me”, shrugging, “not that I mind”. Since, apparently, he liked danger even in his love life. Which yes, was absolutely stupid, but he did stupid damn well.

Sam rolls her eyes and sighs, she really wished Danny would cut it out with his soft spot for the huntress, “you should mind”, glaring at his soft-looking smile, “and you better not still be interested in her. She hates ghosts, no matter what that’ll get in the way”. Tucker firmly decides not to comment on that.

Danny just grins wide and you could practically smell the mischief wafting off of him. Sam pinches her nose but Tucker bursts out laughing just before she looks to Danny’s shirt. Danny just grins smugly as she groans at reading, ‘Death Cannot Stop True Love’. Glaring at Danny, “I hate you, you moron”.

Valerie walks by and comments with a smirk, “well I don’t”.

Danny sticks his arms out dramatically at Val’s retreating form, “at least someone loves me”.

Both Sam and Tucker replying, “she just doesn’t know any better”. Danny just rolls his eyes exaggeratedly, though he honestly loves all the shit they give him.

--Line Break--

Danny makes a point of massaging his sore shoulder and thusly covering up the chest of his t-shirt as he walks over to his two friends at the being of school.

The two give him worried looks over what looks like blood having seeped through the side of his white t-shirt. Tucker frowning as it doesn’t really look right, “you really should just stop wearing white”. Sam, being more sensible, asks the more important question, “are you okay?”.

At that Danny smirks, as he’s finally close enough to them that he knows they damn well will pick up really quickly that the ‘blood’ is just part of the shirt's design. Lowering his arm to the side so they can read the ‘I’m fine’ written across the shirt. Both of them promptly start hitting him.

Though they both do have to admit, as the day goes by, that everyone doing double takes over Danny’s shirt is rather hilarious. Even if everyone’s used to Danny’s shit enough to not freak out too much.

--Line Break--

Sam and Tucker chuckle at Danny’s ‘Ghost Gym’ Gengar gym shirt, pretty sure the only reason Tetslaff is letting him get away with it is because the design is workout related. Well that, and, if you knew what to look for, Danny was clearly extremely physically fit.

Tetslaff looks around at everyone and nods curtly, “alright you maggots, it’s gymnastics day. So I want to see some serious acrobatics and running!”.

Dash gapes as Danny does a clean and one of the fastest obstacle runs in the entire gym class. Shaking his head before shouting, “you cheated Fentwerp!”. Dash is honestly only more annoyed as Danny locks eyes with him, grins wickedly and walks into the changing room.

Dash was about to storm after the little freak when Danny exits the changing room, still grinning a bit manically. Dash scowls but can’t help but feel a little less interested in beating the weirdo up. After reading the sweater, ‘CHEAT DEATH’. That is until Danny speaks up, why did the little freak have to have such a damn mouth on him? And why’d he have to use it to diss him? Why didn’t the weirdo know his damn place!

Danny flips Dash off, “there’s only one thing I cheat bitch”, before booking it off. While Dash shouts at him, “why you little-FENTON!”, and runs after him.

Tetslaff is far too pleased over the physical improvements of what was formerly the worst excuse for physical fitness, to really care about reprimanding him for his language.

--Line Break--

Vlad walks into the Fenton household, he’s a little early but that hardly matters. Gives him plenty of time to scope out any new inventions or lord his mental and ghost power prowess over Daniel’s head.

Looking around to quickly spot Daniel and those two friends of his all sitting around the living room. All three promptly getting up, Daniel snapping, “you’re early frootloop. What? Cat brush you off for date night?”.

Vlad rolls his eyes but stops halfway and stares at Daniel’s shirt ‘WANTED DEAD & ALIVE Schrödinger’s cat‘. Shaking his head, coming to stand in front of Daniel and gesturing at his attire, “I know you’re reckless, but isn’t this a little on the nose Daniel?”.

Danny grins almost wickedly at that, “nope, but you know what is?”. That’s the perfect set-up for their little ‘no one expects the geek’ plan.

Vlad quirks an eyebrow as Daniel leans to the side; only for Tucker to punch him in the nose. Daniel chuckles, “that was”, while Vlad steps back, hand over his now bleeding nose, and glares at the teens.

Tucker looks back at Danny with a giddy grin, just as Jack and Maddie come in trough the door.

Maddie smiles slightly over seeing the creepy old Masters bleeding, she’s got no clue what’s happened but she’s sure that whoever had more than good enough reason. While Jack, bless his heart, takes Vlad into the kitchen to help fix up Vlad’s nose.

Vlad glares bloody murder at the teen trio from a stool, while Jack honestly just makes the bleeding a bit worse. Maddie eventually taking pity and actually helping.

--Line Break--

Tucker closes his locker door and immediately looks at Danny’s shirt as he approaches. Tucker raising an eyebrow over the simple grey shirt with a tiny grim reaper poking out of the chest pocket, “what? Ran outta joke shirts already?”.

Danny snickers, “naw, just figured I should stop brushing off other body parts”.

Both turn as Sam slams her locker door closed rather aggressively. Tucker muttering, “well someone’s clearly in a piss poor mood”.

Sam flips him off, “I’m a ray of fucking sunshine, fuck off”.

Danny beams, yet another perfect setup, “is it something I can shoot?”.

Sam sighs, “not really, but...”, Sam throws a flower-girl behavioural Guidebook into Danny’s locker which Danny wastes no time in shooting an ecto-ray at while giving Tucker a shit-eating grin.

Sam slams Danny’s locker door shut on his hand when she sees why he’s smiling like that, reading the words on the backs of his gloves ‘Death Rays’, and then storming off.

Danny rubs the forming bruise on his hand, “worth it”. While Tucker wheezes.

--Line Break--

Mr. Lancer stands at the front of the class, “alright everyone, as you know there is a group assignment portion to your grade. Now I will be assigning the groups...”, glaring at a few jocks in the room, “due to certain actions last year”.

Dash and Kwan glare at Danny as he snickers but don’t say anything as Mr. Lancer lists off the different groups, eventually getting to the jocks, “Dash, Tucker, and Danny. And for the final group, Kwan, Sam, and Valerie”.

Sam, Valerie and Tucker all look horrified; Kwan doesn’t honestly mind all that much.

Dash grins cruelly while Danny looks down at his shirt, reading ‘this is booshit’ and grumbling, “this one was a bad idea”. Deciding not to waste his opportunity, he shouts, “oh that’s booshit!”, and uncrosses his arms to throw them out to the side.

Lancer sighs and shakes his head, slightly confused as to why no one’s told Daniel to change his shirt; it’s definitely against dress code. Pointing at Daniel’s shirt, “please change your shirt, Mr. Fenton”. While Dash sneers at Danny, “you should be thankful, not often shoe scum actually gets to work with Highschool perfection, Fentenisshoe”.

Danny blinks, he firmly can’t believe his luck, before turning and giving Dash a slightly manic open-mouthed grin. Promptly ripping off his top shirt -of course he expected someone to call him on the first shirt- revealing the second shirt underneath. Revealing what he’s sure is just an Amity version of an online ‘pop culture’ shirt, reading ‘ECTOPLASMIC SCUM’.

Tucker slams his face into his desk, wheezing slightly. Both Sam and Valerie burst out laughing, multiple people joining them. Dash glares around at everyone, making most people shut up; but really, Sam, Tucker and Valerie just laugh harder.

--Line Break--

Tucker takes one look at Danny’s shirt the next day, ‘let’s have a wail of a good time’ and promptly claps a hand over Danny’s mouth, “no”.

Danny tilts his head down and makes a show of seeming completely downright defeated. Speaking as Tucker removes his hand, “awwww”.

--Line Break--

Sam and Tucker shake their heads at Danny’s shirt ‘this is my ghost costume, I’m just dead on the inside’. Tucker gesturing at Danny’s shirt, “okay this one is definitely pushing it, dude. It’s literally literal”.

Danny rolls his hand in the air and tilts his head around, “not quite, I’m not literally in my ghost costume. Unless you want to say that my Screaming Fan form is a costume my ghost is wearing”.

“Dude, that's basically correct. Frying Pan is closer to who you really are. This”, Tucker pulls on Danny’s black hair gently, “is pretty well just your disguise at this point”.

Danny shrugs, they weren’t really wrong but smirks as the new ghost drill alarm goes off. Snickering as everyone pulls ghost masks/costumes on quickly, as part of a new plan for dealing with any ghosts. Because someone had the ‘brilliant’ idea of ‘tricking’ ghosts into thinking the students were ghosts. Ghosts were not this stupid. Not even kind of.

Mr. Lancer, who always gets stuck playing the role of the ‘real’ ghost, stops and stares at Danny. Who just gestures at his shirt with a wily smirk. Mr. Lancer shakes his head, “that would never work”, remembering the role he’s supposed to be playing, “boOOoOOoOooOOOo”.

Danny chuckles and grabs Tucker's red ghost mask, pulling it off his face slightly and snapping it, “neither would this”. Tucker just turns his head and glares slightly at Danny, even if that didn’t really hurt.

--Line Break--

Danny saunters into the school with a massive lopsided grin on his face. There was absolutely no way he’d be able to make reference to his shirt today but the recent situation he’s found himself in made it too good to not get this shirt.

Valerie pauses as she was walking past, looking at Danny’s shirt ‘I for one welcome our new ghost overlords’, squinting slightly, “you’ve sure had some interesting clothing choices but what could this one even be referencing?”, glaring slightly, “the ghosts defiantly do not rule us or this town”, glaring a bit more, “and why would you support that?”.

Danny chuckles, in the eyes of the ghost Phantom had always ‘ruled’ Amity Park. Shrugging, “well if you wanna get technical about lairs and shit...”, Danny trails off as Val just glares even harder.

Valerie snaps slightly, “Amity is not a ghosts lair”. Danny can’t help but snort and laugh a bit.

Danny sends her a bit of a sympathetic smile, not really looking to get into it with her. Instead deciding to throw her through a loop and throw her a bone at the same time, putting a hand on his hip, “got nothing to do with that though”, smirking at her raised eyebrow and leaning his elbow on her shoulder, speaking with a slightly sultry look, “don’tcha know? The ghosties got themselves a knew high and mighty king”.

Danny winks as he walks off, Valerie gapping at him before speed walking to catch up with him. Sticking her head around to be in front of him, “who?!?!???”.

Danny tilts his head back and laugh exaggeratedly, “who do you think? Literally only one reckless idiot went and fought the previous one”.

Valerie mutters, “oh my Zone”, before walking off, clearly a little in her own head.

Not even seconds later Sam and Tucker punch him in the shoulders. Tucker smirking, “fucking congrats dude, but you are also an idiot”.

Sam shakes her head, “we all really shoulda seen this coming. Why did you tell her though”.

Danny smirks, “tell me about it and because of timing”, slapping a hand on his chest, “I had a joke to make”.

Tucker looks at the shirt and shakes his head, “we should be the ones wearing that. You’re welcoming yourself”.

Danny just smirks as the sit down in class.

--Line Break--

Sam and Tucker both facepalm as Danny walks towards them like he owned the entire damn school. He was decked out head to toe in ghostly fashion. ‘I AM A GHOST’ t-shirt, ‘I’m dying inside’ beret, ghost emoji leggings, knee-high ‘#LITERALLY DEAD’ socks, ‘the ghost inside’ shorts, blood and ectoplasm spattered shoes, ‘monster mortuary’ jacket, coffin sunglasses, and a ‘BOOOO!’ choker.

Danny poses dramatically in-front of his friends while Tucker groans, “Danny dude, you are practically begging to be shot or found out at this point”. But Tucker gestured to his own t-shirt, Ash vs the Evil Dead ‘Ghost Beaters’ design. Danny smirks and gives an approving nod. Sam takes this as her queue and gestures to her T-shirt with a little ghost nurse carrying bandaids reading ‘Boo Boo Crew’. Danny looks over and laughs.

Danny claps them on the shoulder as they start walking to class, “so y’all found the store huh? Spook Spot is a name I certainly approve of”.

Sam smirks, “damn right we did, this town is the only damn place we’re a ghost focused apparel store would actually be profitable. Fucking capitalism”.

Danny chuckles, personally he was glad, there was so many good jokes to be made and it really would get lots of business. “Think I should collect part of the profits? Seeing as I’m the entire reason why it’s able to be successful”.

Tucker, ever interested in a quick buck, “you damn well should!”. While Sam just grumbles about, “not feeding the man”.

Dash glares at the little Fenton freak as he enters the classroom, “what you think all that’s gonna make you cool enough to be like Phantom? Fentoenail”.

Danny chuckles darkly, “oh I’m certainly spooky enough”.

Sam smirks, “a spooky baby”. While Tucker elbows Sam, “more like spooky babe, riiiiiight Sam”, he wiggles his eyebrows at her earning a glare from the goth.

The two friends stop and gape a little as Valarie walks in and pelts Danny in the face with a t-shirt. Danny just letting it fall off his face and onto the floor. Raising an eyebrow at Valarie while she says, “you absolute fool, I can’t believe you”, before taking her seat.

Danny looks down at the t-shirt, one half has a skull on it the other half reads ‘only half dead’. Danny chuckles, picks it up, stuffs it in his pocket and mutters into his hand, “well damn”.

Sam and Tucker exchange a glance and then facepalm.

—The Previous Night—

Valerie crawls into her bed, puts a sore arm over her eyes and sighs. Snapping her eyes open seconds later before blinking and jerking to sit up, muttering, “oh my Zone, he fucking winked at me. And halfas and she looks just like Phantom but black hair and blue eyes and oh my Zone, Danny.....”. Thinking over the past weeks before shaking her head after a beat, “I dated the most colossal idiot ever”.

Glancing to her computer before scrambling over to it and heading to google to find some joke shirt, muttering at it, “I have to get you back, you damn Spook”.

End.

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mostlysignssomeportents · 5 years

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#2yrsago Listen up: you really owe it to yourself to read 15 Vlad Taltos novels, seriously

I have been reading Steven Brust's Vlad Taltos novels since I was a pre-teen and singing their praises on Boing Boing since 2006, and with the occasion of the publication of Vallista, the fifteenth and nearly final volume in the series, I want to spend some time explaining to you why goddamnit you should really consider reading 15 books, get caught up, and finish this sucker with me, because if there was any justice in this world, the Vlad books would have a following to shame The Dark Tower at its peak.

As noted, I've been reading Brust basically for as long as I've been able to think critically about novels and novel writing, following this series with absolute enthrallment and delight, and having just inhaled Vallista in a single go, I think I'm finally able to articulate some of the things that makes this such a reward for sustained attention.

Firstly, these are sprightly novels. Though Brust is spinning a genuinely epic tale of civilization-spanning intrigue, informed by profound insight into politics and power, these are, at core, caper novels about a wisecracking assassin who is also a witch, and whose familiars, a pair of flying venomous lizards called "jhereg," are even funnier than Vlad, the series narrator. Brust is a great political thinker (he may be the person the wags had in mind when they observed that Marxists are the only fantasy writers who get the ratio of lords to vassals right), but he never allows the politics shot through these volumes to get in the way of their astonishing narrative energy. What I'm trying to say is: these are fun to read.

But they're not just fun. They're also daring. Each volume does something that Brust has never done before. One book takes the form of annotations to a dry-cleaning bill (seriously!), another is framed around gathering ingredients for a recipe (likewise); another is a trio of multi-POV novellas that interlock in surprising, head-spinning ways. There are whodunnits, war novels, romances, heists, quests... And, with Vallista, now there is a haunted house novel to rival Gormenghast, The Fall of the House of Usher, or Lovecraft's He.

I've followed other long-running series, like Pratchett's Discworld books. Unlike Pratchett, Brust keeps the focus on a single character, Vlad Taltos, and follows his development through book after book, as he quests to...well, that's an interesting question. A more obvious comparison is King's Black Tower books, which I followed for decades (only to be disappointed when the series finished with a wet fizzle of a cop-out), but whereas the Black Tower concerned itself with Roland, the eternal and unchanging hero, Vlad Taltos changes...a lot. He learns things, and then learns that those things were wrong. He changes for the better, and for the worse. As a study in character and struggle, these books are unlike anything I've read.

It's not clear what Vlad is looking for. When we meet him in Jhereg, the first volume, he's a young assassin, a human in a kingdom of millennia-lived elves called Dragareans, who confine humans (whom they call "Easterners") to ghettos where they are oppressed and subject to brutalization and exploitation. A few books in, Vlad is in exile, but it's not clear he could ever clear his name -- or that he particularly wants to. The relationships he forms and then shatters are not necessarily redeemable (even the ones we root for), and the great powers moving around him always -- lords and emperors, gods and the things that created the gods -- have their own mysterious ends that he sometimes serves, but never much cares for.

But Vlad is looking, living out a critical juncture in a civilization that Brust carefully brings into focus in these volumes, a civilization that is stuck in a great cycle of birth, decadence and rebirth, each epoch thousands of years long and beyond the emotional grasp of an Easterner like Vlad, though he is as much a part of the cycle as anyone else.

Vallista is a haunted house novel, one that includes weird geometries that are like a cross between the delight of playing Zork for the first time and reading Heinlein's And He Built a Crooked House for the first time. It's got ghosts and treacherous wizards, decadent and mysterious necromancers, truculent butlers, and great unspoken secrets about dead children and the way they perished. It even has a monster.

But more than that, it has the seeds of the final act of the Vlad books, the place where the vast civilization that Brust seems to know every corner of meets the long arc of Vlad's life and the many ways in which it has been scarred by irrevocable choices that left him and the people he (we!) loved in seemingly perpetual solitude.

It's hard to love a series that is 15 books in, because you can't discuss it with the people around you unless you can convince them to read 15 books first. My wife is nearly there, I think (the involuntary gasps, laughs and the little shriek I gave out while finishing it in bed on Saturday may have tipped her over the edge at last). Will you join us? Here's the whole series. You can thank me later.

Vallista [Steven Brust/Tor Books]

https://boingboing.net/2017/10/17/better-than-dark-tower.html

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jeaneybean · 5 years

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So I haven’t done a recap in a while

TL;DR previously on this campaign we broke into a vampire’s house, murdered him, looted it, the gang dug up a body and ‘let’ her brother take her somewhere that wasn’t a mass grave, and Vera lied like no other to a vampire’s major domo.

Last episode left off with Vlad’s father tearfully greeting Fyodora, asking the group why they’d came and how they met and whatnot. And that’s when Havilah failed his first control shape check of the full moon, turning into a wolf right in that great hall. He instantly grabbed his wolf and went outside to sulk, despite Vlad’s father Valery being like ‘no that’s just something that happens’. Werewolf dad is pretty chill with puppy problems.

Vlad and Valery go out hunting to get meat for the table and everyone except Havilah have dinner in the great hall. Introductions are made around the table, Vera giving a very diplomatic telling of how the party met up with Vlad. Jake does his normal Jake stuff after popping out of the necklace and Magnolia starts throwing rolls at him. Wolff Wolf skitters behind him and snaps up the rolls every time they hit the floor. Valery tries to figure out how Nitahn got his affliction, mostly trying to see if it was Vlad doing it. Vera doesn’t confirm or deny this, stating that it was necessary and bringing up how Juno would’ve turned him int he great hall anyway and they got to one up her. The entire party confirms that Nitahn is a big ol puppydog.

Valery offers the party sanctuary for however long they need, and Oz def makes a note that Vera mentions nothing about taking it despite being into her sixth months of being preggers. After dinner Vera brought Nitahn some Venison and talked to him for a bit, squooshing his face and wiggling his nose because he’s a cute wolf and also because ‘I can’t mess with you like this when you’re a human’ before heading back inside.

Jake also bothers Nitahn, using his newly gotten suggestion spell to have Nitahn fetch. This annoys Nitahn severly, and pisses off Oz pretty bad because Oz doesn’t like the entire Enchantment school. Oz scolds Jake pretty badly for taking away their friend’s free will before being like ‘yeah it’s probably best we don’t talk for a while’. Oz then goes to Nitahn and tattles on Vera for not asking to stay despite her state and puppy Nitahn is like ‘thank you for bringing this to my attention, boof.’. After that, Oz goes to Magnolia and again tattles on Vera.

Meanwhile Vera is having a time up in her room, finishing letters and getting herself real upset. This follows down to breakfast, where she’s very quiet. The mail carrier shows up to the distrust of everyone but Vera, and letters are passed out. Nitahn got a few from his family and three from Jasna, Vera got three from her husband and two from Nik, Oz got one from his mom and one from Vera’s husband. Vera sends off four letters: one to her husband, one to Nik, one to Jasna, and one that it takes her a bit to hand off. She instructs the carrier that it isn’t to be delivered to the Medvedev house, that it is to be left in care of either Mishti Isha or Vera Medvedeva. It’s a letter to her brother. After that Vera excuses herself from breakfast and goes up to her room, where she stays. Her letters get her caught up on city goss and Nik’s scrounged up every bit of werewolf/vampire politic information that he can.

Jake goes down to town and tries to get a loan from the bank, going with all of his usual chaos. He tries to get a loan to open a pancake shop, turning into a short copy of Vlad when the banker says he’d need a voucher. He also tries to use suggestion, leading the banker to realize that he’s tried to alter his mind but still is super confused about what’s going on. He tells Jake to come back tomorrow and Jake happily leaves.

Vera doesn’t show to dinner, citing not feeling well. Valery visits her in her room where she is hiding behind Bear and offers to let her stay in the keep until after she has the baby. Vera’s mostly dead to the world and is like ‘yeah, whatever they decide on I’ll do’. Which is good because Vera’s normal reponse would be basically ‘aw heck no’ to the idea of staying in one spot.

Valery repeats this offer to the group and Oz tattles on Vera to Valery, and Valery’s like ‘yeah no she’s very pregnant’. Magnolia spends another meal chucking rolls at Jake and Wolf-Wolf gets more snackums.

Jake heads back to the bank the next day to fuck with him more, and Vera tracks down Oz to ask him about something he’d mentioned during the great hall, about how dying wasn’t so bad. Mostly she just wants to tell him that should he need help in Spee, Selina isn’t that far away. Oz advises her to forget he said that, as he’s not legally allowed to discuss it. Vera is like ‘cool. Just remember if you need help I’m a lwayer.’ and Oz also realizes that Vera is looking bad. He inquires if she’s okay and Vera’s like ‘yeah, no, not really’ and eventually admits that now that they have downtime she’s got time to think on stuff. A year ago she was in the capital dressed in nice things going to parties, and now she’s out here up to her elbows in blood of terrible people. And she really, really prefers the second to the first. Oz tries to comfort her by saying that it is the blood of awful people, but Vera doesn’t seem to comforted.

She also finds Magnolia and brings up the idea of silvered claws for bear. Magnolia agrees to the idea, and also brings up that Vera looks pretty wrecked. She offers to spend time with Vera, and Vera’s like ‘yeah I’ve been crying a lot and I don’t like people to see me cry’ and Mags is like ‘well, I can look away’ and Vera admits that’s what her husband does.

They have a bit of downtime, and one day Fyodora comes up to Nitahn and is like ‘so there’s someone talking to my father and i am not cool with them, come with me?’ and they go to eavesdrop on official business. Nitahn, however, recognizes the voice: Anton Bellek. He instantly bursts into the room and is like YOU.

Meanwhile, Vlad knocks on Vera’s door and is like ‘So there’s someone here to meet my father on offical business and I don’t think he’s good. We should get the group together?” And vera’s like “Fine, help me put on my armor” “I think his name was Anton Bellek?” “-sounds of Vera scrambling across the room, throwing her door open- Okay let’s fucking go.’

They go down and vera’s like ‘so will you be okay heading in there?’ to Vlad and he’s like ‘Yeah, no, it’ll be fine.’ “He (Valery) wont’ hit you?” And that’s when Vlad learns something about Vera he probably didn’t want to get confirmation on and is like “Yeah, no. That’s not the kind of person he is.” And they initally hold back, but they hear Nitahn inside and Vera’s like ‘oh goddamnit’ before breaking in themselves.

Anton greets everyone pleasantly. Vera holds onto her temper for a bit and apologises to Valery for bursting in before turning to Anton. Anton’s looking for allies! Anton is also still super evil, though not enough to knock Vera unconcious. Magnolia’s hiding behind Vlad, making sniping comments whenever she can.

Anton gives a grand speech and he’s good at it, and Jake’s like ‘yeah no he sounds legit’ and the whole fucking time Vera is grinding her teeth and quickly losing any composure she has. She starts calling him out on about every point, adding in there the whole ‘hey, I’m a paladin, I can literally see you’re evil’ and he tries being like ‘I kill people to eat, I have to drink the blood of living creatures’ and Gremlin Oz is like ‘what about getting concent first’ and Vera’s like ‘Can’t you eat animal blood? I’m not evil because I eat meat’.

She goes on her own rant about understanding the desire of being up to your elbows in blood and she admits: She wants a war too. She all but begs him to fight against whatever nature he’s got from being a vampire and offers out her holy symbol as kind of a peace offing. Anton doesn’t take it and curls his lip up at it.

Anton departs, making some dark comments about Vlad and Valery as he goes. The enitre party sees shadows detach from the walls and go to him, and Oz passes a knowledge arcana to know there’s a preestige class that lets you summon shadows. Vera’s like ‘yeah, that tracts’.

Vlad is goaded by Magnolia to talking with his dad for the first time since they first arrived and he’s like ‘listen laws are there for a reason, but Anton’s right. We have to change. We can’t be a neutral party or we’re going to be targeted by everyone. We can’t stick to the old ways when there’s almost no one left here’ and Valery seems to be ackwnolaging this.

Vera makes a parting note to everyone to watch the shadows, and goes to Vlad’s room and is like ‘hey can I stay here tonight and make sure you don’t get eaten by shadows’ and he agrees. She spends her night laying on bear and quietly praying, because vera doesn’t afraid of anything but herself, and she just admitted to everyone that she wants to start a war and she really likes being covered in blood.

Things are chill for a while, until one day at dinner Oz hears a crash int he kitchen. Before we can prepare, but with enough time to make sure there’s no sneak attacks, nine werewolves storm the room. Three enter from the kitchen side, six from the main entrance. One wolf goes for Jake, two go for Valery. On the other side, one goes for Vlad and two go for Vera, while all three archers take shots at Valery. They hit him in the shoulders, and one in the face directly in his eye. He reacts by hulking out into a werewolf. Y’know. Like you do. Vlad doesn’t turn into a werewolf, choosing to instead swing his axe at one of the werewolves previously attacking Vera.

Magnolia and Oz take a quick second to talk about Vera, who has neither armor nor arms on her because she hasn’t been wearing them. Oz assures Magnolia he can protect Vera, and Magnolia encourages Vera to climb up on the table. Vera’s like ‘yeah, that was my plan’ as she climbs up on it and summons Bear in her place. Bear responds to this by going for the wolf that Vlad attack, full round attacking and killing it. Magnolia climbs on the table and reaches out to tap Valery with a Bear’s Endurance. Oz blocks Vera in from the other side and casts Slow on the remaining five werewolves on our side because Oz is an unholy terror. Jake hits himself with mage armor like a good boy. The werewolves with their crossbows drop them and draw short swords before slowly starting to move towards the group.

Valery slashes at a nearby wolf and Vlad turns into a werewolf for the extra beef. Vera slaps bear with Divine Sacrifice and turns him loose on the werewolves, where Bear starts to just slap them the fuck around. Werewolves have DR. Bear doesn’t care. Bear overwhelms it. Magnolia casts Foundations of Stone on everyone on the ground. Oz casts stoneskin on himself.

A few other highlights: Bear did what I’d been hoping he’d do forever, crit on a Divine Sacrifice blow. 46 damage in one hit, he turned one wolf to mush. On our side of the room he tore through everything. Oz got hit once and shrugged it off thanks to stoneskin. He also cast haste on the party, and flesh to stone on one of the werewolves. Valery dragged a werewolf that pulled a silver dagger on him into a melee with Nitahn climbing in. Vlad offered Vera his axe to protect herself and Vera very unhappily had to turn it down because she’d probably fucking use it. Mags cast Balor Nimbus on herself and went to join the scrap of werewolves.

A vampire droped from the ceiling and hit Jake with a sneak attack for 46 damage, killing him. As Jake died, he felt himself pulled somewhere else. Death appeared before him, and as Jake watched, the skeletal form shifted until Death looked like him. The not Jake tipped his head and was like ‘fascinating’.

Meanwhile, as everyone starts to freak the fuck out about Jake, he pulls off of the sword, looks down at himself, and was like ‘Fascinating.’

#The idiots do a adventure

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lexosaurus · 6 years

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Xmas Truce 2017

This one’s for @phantomfighter724. Happy holidays!

Danny hunched over the toilet, his body cleansing itself of everything it didn't like. His breakfast, bile—it all pooled in the murky water below.

He leaned his head down against the porcelain seat. He gave a halfhearted attempt at shifting his arms to support his sweaty face before giving up. His entire body felt like lead. His brain was clouded. He was a mess.

His stomach growled and he let out a whine of frustration. "What the hell," he muttered under his breath. What the hell was happening to him?

Out of the corner of his eye his phone lit up, and for a second he wondered why it was thrown haphazardly against the corner of the wall before he recalled tossing it out of his hand in his blind panic to reach the toilet on time. He winced, and braced himself for the worst. Fortunately, after a brief inspection, he found no additional cracks in his screen other than the small one in the corner he got from one of Skulker's brilliantly-failed attempts at kidnapping him.

A new message from Valerie popped up on the screen, and despite his situation he could help but grin a little. Befriending Valerie after she discovered his secret—connecting Dani's halfa status to his a little too easily—was a long, strenuous process. At first, it even seemed impossible, if their blatant disregard for the other's existence in school was anything to go by. But pent-up teenage emotion coupled with the constant necessity of teamwork during field-work eventually lead to an explosive argument. Valerie's hurt, Danny's insecurities, both of their mistrust in each other, everything came to light. It was violent, even if no blood was shed, and they walked away having said too many things they couldn't take back. Danny thought they were through.

They were, for a time. The silence didn't let up, but something shifted. Instead of angry silence, the air around them was uncomfortable. It was awkward, weird. Danny had never felt so unsure of how to act since his first day walking into Casper High two years ago. He was fourteen, and he had no idea what the hell he was supposed to do.

It was Valerie who broke the silence first, sending him a text reading, “I can’t do this anymore. Let’s meet up for coffee after my shift ends today.”

That conversation was different. They actually listened rather than spewing out the first thing they could think of through their red-tinted eyesight. And while the duo spoke with blunt honesty, they were delicate with their words. Respectful of the situation.

At some point after that, Valerie joined him on his nightly patrols. Danny wasn't sure why, but he chose not to question it. At first they wouldn't talk other than the obligatory, "Ghost of there," or "Watch out," but it was a step. A tiny step, but a step nonetheless.

After about a week of this, however, Danny thought he was going to lose his mind over the stupid tension. So he choked out the first thing he could think of, "So...the weather."

It was by far the worst conversation starter in the book, and he could have sworn he saw Valerie nearly lose her balance on her hoverboard. His own face burned green, and he ducked down a few feet under her in a brilliant attempt to hide his embarrassment. Valerie definitely noticed, but for some reason she chose to go along with it.

So they talked. Their first conversation was nothing but superficial, the kind of small-talk one would have when dragged along to a dinner-party with their parents, but it marked the beginning of a budding friendship between the duo. Eventually, those nightly patrols turned into after-school homework sessions and then just Friday night hangouts. While all of their problems didn't disappear overnight, they worked through them. As friends. And then, eventually...

Received: 11:24am

Val: Hey, how you feeling?<3

Danny shook his head, as if attempting to clear the fog, and typed back a response.

Danny: not sure...i think it's getting worse

Val: Want me to come over?

Danny: don't bother i can handle it

Val: Ok I'm coming over.

Danny: seriously it's prob nothing bad

Val: Do you like tomato soup or chicken noodle better?

Danny: val it's a ghost thing u don't have to worry it'll probably pass soon

Val: Ok I'm bring both I'll be there in 10

Danny: ...ok

As stubborn as Danny could be, Valerie was worse. Danny wasn’t even sure why he still resisted her kindness, even if they were dating. Maybe it was his pride? Maybe he didn’t want to get her sick? Maybe he was still insecure about himself and felt less-than and unworthy of any amount of affection? Who knew, really.

Another pang of hunger swept through his body and he sighed, leaning against the wall for support. He closed his eyes and let the dizziness sweep over him. It was probably just a ghost flu, right? It had to pass soon, didn't it?

Ever since a particularly bad fight against Vortex, he's felt off. At first, he was just a little lightheaded. Ok, no big deal, he just had to drink water. Powerade. And for a time, that worked okay. Not great, but it put a band-aid over the issue for a bit.

That was, until the hunger-pains started. He woke up one day hungry. His body clenched up as if he hadn't eaten in days, despite having a large dinner the night before. He wolfed down his morning cereal, ignoring his mom's comments about his appetite, and took off for school. Instead of feeling ready to start the school day, he felt awful. His stomach still was cramped, and waves of nausea washed over him. A few days into this cycle later, his body finally gave up and he found himself hunched over a toilet halfway through first period.

Sam all but dragged him to the nurses office that day, forcing him to get a note to go home. He slept for the rest of that day—or tried his best—but whatever was wrong with him, it didn't pass. The next day he woke up, his hunger even stronger than the day before. He tried to force himself to eat something, but he couldn't. Even though his body screamed at him for anything goddamnit, his morning cereal looked...unappetizing. Gross.

Of course, Danny hadn't gotten so much as a cold since gaining his ghostly half. Sam had a theory that the ectoplasm coursing through his blood burned off any unwanted bacteria or viruses in his body. That theory, as uneducated of a guess as it was, was more likely true than not. It would also explain the lack of infections Danny's gotten, even though his blood has been exposed to the air too many times to be healthy for a normal human.

Ah well, just another thing to add to the never ending list of everything that separated him from other humans.

That didn't mean he hasn't gotten sick, though. As rare as they were, ghostly viruses did exist in the Ghost Zone. Danny managed to contract the ghostly flu last year, which made his powers glitch as bad as the first month after the portal accident. Tucker being Tucker found it absolutely hysterical, and made sure to stock up on as much blackmail material as he could over the duration of his illness. Although that wasn't Danny's first time being an internet meme, the gif of him inexplicably falling from the sky and crashing into a tree was possibly his most embarrassing publicly documented moment to date.

A knock on the door broke Danny out of his thoughts.

“Come in,” he said weakly.

"Hey Danny," Val pushed her way in the door, a plastic shopping bag hanging off of one of her arms.

Danny struggled up in a feeble attempt to sit a bit straighter. He was vaguely aware of the distinct odor coming from the toilet beside him. He was lucky Valerie has seen him in worse conditions before.

She sat down next to him. "How you feeling?"

"I don't know," he shrugged, all false bravado flying out the window.

She quietly surveyed the scene before her. Danny's pale, sickly face beaded with sweat. Purple circles laid under his sunken-in eyes. He clutched the hem of his shirt and averted his gaze to the side.

She pursed her lips, "Danny, you look like shit."

Danny snorted. "I feel like shit."

"I can see why Jazz forced you to stay home from patrol this week."

At the mention of patrol, Danny’s eyes lit up. “How are the ghosts this week? Have you been okay on your own? Has the Box Ghost been bothering you too much? Do you need any help tonight?”

A light smile touched Valerie’s lips. Even though it was an unspoken rule not to mention Danny’s obsession outright, she still found other ways to poke fun at him for it. “Danny, you can barely stand. Chill.”

A blush crept on Danny’s cheeks, and he rolled his eyes as another wave of nausea hit him at once. Before Valerie could so much as blink, Danny had lunged at the toilet bowl, dry heaving up any molecules still left in his stomach.

A pang of worry shot through Valerie. She frowned and reached over to gently rub his back, “This is getting worse.”

“I...know...” Danny ground out between coughs.

“I know you don’t want to...but I think we should call Vlad.”

He froze.

“He might know what’s going on,” Valerie said.

“Val, no. We can’t trust him,” Danny said, his voice cold.

Valerie crossed her arms and huffed. "Come on, don’t be thick. You’re a halfa, Vlad’s a halfa. Whatever you think about him—fine. But this has been going on for over a month now and it’s only getting worse. You need help, Fenton. You need someone’s help who actually understands halfa biology. Vlad’s the man for that, whether you like it or not.”

Danny slumped his shoulders. “Okay, you have a point.”

“Thank you,” Valerie said under her breath as she took out her phone. She scrolled through her contacts till she got to Vlad’s name, and hesitated. She hadn’t contacted him in months. After the whole debacle with Dani, she kept her contact with him at a minimum. When Vlad realized she knew Danny’s secret and by default, his, he stopped contacting her altogether. Interestingly enough, packages of replacement/upgraded weapons occasionally appear at her doorstep. She knew Danny noticed when broken equipment was suddenly replaced or she got a new gun, but he was kind enough to leave it alone.

Another retch from her boyfriend beside her was all she needed to finally push down on the button. She put the phone on speaker. After only two rings, the voice of an older man appeared on the other end of the line.

“Valerie, dear. To what do I owe the pleasure? Is your equipment working fine?”

Danny tensed at Vlad’s silky tone. He opened his mouth to respond with a biting comment, but his stomach had another idea.

Worry creased Vlad’s next words. “Valerie? What’s happening? Is everything alright?”

“Fine—I’m fine, Mr. Masters,” Valerie said, her eyes not leaving Danny’s figure. “Uh, it’s Danny.”

“Daniel? What’s wrong with him?”

“We’re, um, not sure. He can’t stop throwing up. He doesn’t...Halfas can’t get human illnesses, right?”

“Right...” Vlad muttered. “Valerie, I’m presuming I’m on speaker phone?”

“Yeah,” Valerie said.

“Alright then. Daniel?” Vlad called out.

“What.” Danny said flatly.

“Can you describe your symptoms to me please?” Vlad asked.

Danny closed his eyes and said, “Uh, I can’t...I can’t hold anything down. Every time I try to eat something it comes back up. I’m really dizzy and...I guess...I mean, I’ve had these stomach pains for a few weeks now. And headaches too. I’m sure it’s nothing but Valerie—”

“This has been going on for a month and it’s not getting any better, Vlad. We’re not sure what to do.”

“I’m glad you called me,” Vlad said, his tone much more serious than a minute ago.

“What is it?” Danny asked at the same time Valerie demanded, “Is everything going to be okay?”

There was a pause.

“Valerie, do you mind stepping out of the room for a second?”

Danny, despite his weak state, managed to push himself away from the toilet and grab the phone out of Valerie’s hands with inhuman speed. “What is it, fruitloop? Just spit it out.”

“Daniel, I know this may come as a shock to you but I do care about you,” Vlad said. “You know, this may not be a good conversation to have over the phone. Give me a minute. Daniel, I presume you’re in the bathroom upstairs?”

“...Yes.”

“Perfect.”

The phone line went dead and Danny slumped against the wall. He glanced over to the toilet and wrinkled his nose at the smell of his own stomach acid. With an abnormal amount of effort, he managed to flush the toilet.

“Sorry,” he glanced over to Valerie. “Sorry to drag you into this mess.”

“Danny, stop,” Valerie clipped, kissing his forehead lightly. “You’re my boyfriend and you’re ill. I’m not going to leave you to deal with this by yourself. I know you won’t let Sam or Tucker over but I’m not a pushover, okay?”

Danny rolled his eyes to counter the blush that tinted his cheeks. “Yeah, okay. I still...I know this ghost stuff can make you uncomfortable and I don’t want to ever put you in a position where you—”

“Oh my god, Fenton,” Valerie groaned. “Keep that up and this stupid bug isn’t going to be the only thing that’s gonna kill you.”

The room temperature dropped a few degrees. Danny and Valerie’s heads whipped over to the door where Vlad Masters walked through, dropping his invisibility.

"Mr. Masters!”

“Vlad.”

“Is everything alright with Danny?”

“Everything’s going to be fine,” Vlad said.

Valerie would have breathed a sigh of relief if not for the grave look on his face as he surveyed the scene. “My my, you’ve let this get worse than I thought. I’m not sure if I have enough here for you...”

“Enough of what?” Danny asked.

Vlad sighed. “Daniel, are you sure you don’t want Valerie to leave?”

Danny glared up at him. “We’re a team, Vlad.”

"I can handle whatever you throw at us,” Valerie confirmed, letting her chest swell out in pride at Danny’s affirmation. Regardless of any of her past prejudices, she loved Danny. She didn’t care whatever ghostly-illness he had, she was going to get through this with him.

“Okay, it’s...not for the faint of heart though, Little Badger,” Vlad said, closing his eyes.

Something in Danny clicked, and he felt his eyes soften. Whatever this was...it was really bothering Vlad. “It’s okay, Vlad,” he said softly. “I can handle this.”

“Alright then,” Vlad nodded. “Daniel, you know you have a ghost core. It’s responsible for regulating and replenishing ectoplasm in your body.”

“I know this,” Danny said, looking quizzically up at Vlad. “I have an ice core.”

“Right,” Vlad said. “In normal ghosts, this is enough and they can live an eternity with their cores working fine. This isn’t quite the case with halfas though.”

“What do you mean?”

“As you know, Daniel, you’re more powerful than most ghosts. But you’re not a full-ghost. Scientifically speaking, we’re anomalies. Scientific paradoxes. We shouldn’t exist, and our cores know this.”

Alarms blared through Valerie’s brain. “You mean his core is trying to kill him?”

“Not quite,” Vlad said steadily. “But his core cannot keep up with his body’s demands. Halfa cores have to regulate not just ectoplasm, but how the ectoplasm interacts with the living aspects of the human in such a way that it won’t kill you. On top of that, you frequently expelling ectoplasm in forms like powerful ghost-rays puts more pressure on your already overworked core. Your core simply doesn’t have enough energy to do what you demand of it.”

“Hence the hunger,” Danny said, his blue eyes looking down.

“Exactly.”

Valerie ran a hand through her hair. “What’s the solution?”

Vlad reached into his pockets and pulled out a few vials filled with a familiar looking green substance. “Listen to your body, Little Badger. Your body is craving ectoplasm. You need to drink it.”

Realization hit Danny like a ton of bricks. “But isn’t that...that’s...”

“Low-level ecto-puses I took from Skulker’s care last week,” Vlad confirmed. “Purified ecto-plasm. You start developing a need for this once your halfa body solidifies its core. Think of it like a ghostly-puberty, if you will.”

“No...”

“Danny,” Valerie reached out and took Danny’s hand gently. “You’re starving yourself.”

“No, Val, you don’t understand—”

“I do,” Valerie looked at him, her gaze strong. “You said earlier that you didn’t want me to be uncomfortable around the ghostly-aspects of your life. Well, I’m not. There’s no other option, Danny. You’re going to die if you don’t drink the vials. You need to do this.”

Danny shook his head. “I—I can’t.”

Valerie wrapped her hands around Danny’s shoulders and leaned in, kissing him. It was gentle, reassuring, and comforting. Danny relished her touch.

“You can do this,” Valerie said, breaking it off. “You’re strong, Danny. You can do this.”

“Okay,” Danny took the vials.

“Little Badger,” Vlad said, meeting Danny’s eyes. “I’ve been doing this for a while now, you know. I...I can give you the vials if you want. Your moral compass is, well it’s different than mine. I know this is hard for you. It will get easier but, if you would like, you can just let me know when you need vials and I’ll give them to you.”

Danny breathed a sigh of relief. “Thanks, Vlad. It means a lot.”

Vlad nodded, a rare kind smile dotting his lips.

Danny’s glanced one more time at his girlfriend before slowly opening the first vial. The metallic smell of ectoplasm tickled his nose and he found himself raising the vial to his lips.

#christmas truce #xmas truce #danny phantom #dp #fanfic

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empty-dream · 7 years

Text

Me watching Fate/Apocrypha ep 13

With that piano intro, it feels like there is a narration saying “Once upon a time, in an ancient babylonian flying fortress”

If there is any book with that intro I’d read the shit out of it

Sieg be like “I’ve seen too many shit I should apply to become the new wonder of the world”

Sieg: “I’m sorry I was reckless” Astolfo: “bOI THAT WAS NOT RECKLESS THAT WAS STUPID AS FUCK AND THAT’S ME SAYING” Sieg: “But I have a wish I wanna save my friends in the middle of war” Astolfo: “oKAY COOL ME PROUD”

Shit the loony witch shows up

I made an entire post consisting of me contemplating the new op and ed bc it’s long and full of thought HAHA jk it’s shit

Hi kids welcome to the church in the fortress 2 weeks ago the cinnamon and the sinnamon met each other

Shirou: “We’re catholics, we should understand each other.” Jeanne: “Dude, just because I have the same religion as you, as 1.1 billion other people do btw, doesn’t mean I agree to everything you do, especially if it involves stealing most magical thing ever and smiling sinisterly.”

Wow Shirou raises his voice that’s 5* rarity

Shirou: “I didn’t have my master die in my arms, wait 60 years, and manage this dangerous team of nukes all by myself for being defied by a 16 yo rapunzel hourglass saberface”

Jeanne: “Goddamnit you’re a HEROic spirit be a HERO for once!” Shirou: “Nah, I’m outta the club I can do whatever I want.”

Semiramis: “Are you saying my master breaks the rule?” Jeanne: “Are you teasing me with that question or are you just deaf and stupid?”

Semiramis be like “What? You think me, a beautiful poisoner queen who murdered my husband slyly and got into his throne, as the one capable of corrupting an innocent-looking yu-gi-oh-haired young man like my master? I’m offended.”

Guys you’re late to Vlad’s funeral

Shirou: “It’s all peaceful, no fighting whatsoever with your masters.” The AKA team: “BULLSHIT.” Shirou: “But hey it was really no fighting!”

Get you a wife like Semiramis- No wait, don’t make her your wife just make her fall hard for you she wishes she was your wife

Karna’s level-headedness is truly something, I must say

Shirou: “Thank you very much” Karna: “Not now, bitch”

I still find it funny that Karna seems like the first one in AKA team to be fine with Shirou as his master but in the end he’s the only one who never accepts Shirou. My boy.

Shirou: “All of you, become my bitches now.”

Celenike have you learned nothing from Gordes’s experience?!

Wow scratching head until it bleeds is actually one of things I consider creepy and disturbing

But why does it sound like she’s breaking her skull instead of scratching and if she indeeds breaks her skull why is she alive?

You don’t wanna dirty your hands killing Sieg? Bitch you hold human entrails with the same hands might as well cut your hands right now

Astolfo: “There’s no point in me killing Sieg!” Celenike: “There is! I’m horny now!”

Too late, her brain moves to between her legs now.

Sieg’s fate is to be stomped by masters of Yggdmillenia

Grossest slasher movie idea: Celenike is jealous towards Sieg because Astolfo emotes so much around him instead of when she tortures Astolfo so she decides to stomp Sieg and force Astolfo to kill him while she gets hot watching it.

Wow that’s a very ugly face of dying. I’d make the same face as Sieg too.

I CAN HEAR THE CHEER OF PEOPLE FOR MORDRED AT THIS VERY MOMENT

It’s like Kairi and Mordred just drive around and happen to see the nasty quarrel and be like “well that’s one cockroach to kill” so they stop to behead Celenike and then goes off again.

I think servant disappearing into light is engineered to be as slow as it can to give them time to speak dramatic last words huh?

Astolfo: “I don’t wanna drag you into this war.” Sieg: “I already dove head-first to save my friends so technically I’m already in this war too”

HAHA WORLD RECORD OF SERVANT TRYING TO KILL THE MASTER Sieg you’re beginning to become a funny man

I don’t know if Achilles clicks his tongue because Chiron rejects Shirou’s offer to join red faction or Semiramis belittles Chiron but either way he really cares for his teacher :’))

Semiramis: “How about you remember you’re in my home?” Chiron: “How about you remember I can bomb your home?”

Remember 2 weeks ago when I said there are only two sane men on board? That’s excluding the attacked-by-headache red servants, but now you get why I say that.

Shirou: “Jeanne I don’t really wanna kill you actually” Jeanne: “Asshat your face looks like you really wanna kill me slowly”

Wow I don’t expect them to actually detail Karna’s gesture

Mordred, making the most grandiose entrance ever.

I was thinking, why would Mordred charge into an enemy fortress without her armor, like maybe she would but her master would not. So I just conclude maybe A-1 can’t afford to animate her armors ._.

Semiramis: “You wanna betray us?” Mordred: “You tried to betray us first!” Semiramis: “I will behead you, traitor!” Mordred: “First, it’s you it’s you who is the traitor here. Second I beheaded someone on the way and I’m not shy to do it again!!”

Mordred vs Semiramis is kinda like a battle between parent and child with lots of foul languages

Seriously Mordred is the hero of this episode and her trashtalking doesn’t disappoint at all

Like I said, I’m surprised Karna’s gesture is detailed because it’s clear he realizes first hand than Mordred is coming and actually wants her to clear the mess and help Jeanne and Chiron escape and he doesn’t do anything to stop them and he smiles in satisfaction when it’s all done. Like, my boy. My dear boy.

Semiramis: “You think you can do something? Everything you can do, I can do it too!” Avicebron: “Well I do battles too, unlike your shit caster” Shirou: “He’s got a point, hon.”

A saberface stood in the middle of dead people on a war. Great, wanna bet Fate/Extra will have umu do the same thing too?

The wish of salvation is never wrong. The method you try to achieve it, however, often falls into the nope scale.

Wow I also didn’t expect they would include the crushed homunculus in this scene too.

When even Fiore tells you to shut up then you need to evaluate your life

I wanna laugh because Sieg is nonchalantly running into the room like he’s late for class but can’t give a shit to the professor in front of him

Ah I see, A-1 make a huge change in this scene.

Gordes: “Y-YOU!” Sieg: “Surprises bitch I bet you thought you had seen the last of me”

People die when they are killed is so last year, Gordes.

Sieg: “Guess who just became a new master?” Black faction: “No way!” Sieg: “That’s right! It’s me!”

Caules close up is always welcome, babe.

Astolfo is also nonchalantly late into the class and only bothered about how to pose.

Leader!Homunculus: “You keep surprising us” Sieg: “I died twice already and the surprise will just keep on coming, mate.”

Nice speech Sieg!! Cementing the fact that he is the anti-thesis of Shirou and that he is the main protagonist, in case anybody forgets.

Also it kickstarts Fiore’s existential crisis but hey that’s for another episodes okay.

Caules did you just tell Gordes to count to ten??? You. You are fucking perfect my darling.

Chiron: “Master, Caster betrays us. And he’s going to get Roche.” Fiore: “Wait that’s too many news for 2 minutes.”

I guess no matter how much of a genius you are, if you’re young and a shut-in you will always remain naive.

Originally in the novel, if I am correct, this scene is where Gordes shitting around and treats Sieg as Siegfried. Astolfo full-on roasts Gordes and pours salt on his wounds, and also makes jabs about the stolen grail. Fiore is suspicious that Astolfo might be the one killing Celenike, which is actually normal thing to do, but he might or might not even notice that. Caules honestly agrees that the homunculi’s lifespan won’t allow them to do everything they want, which is cold, but in line with the fact that he’s, at his core, blunt. I guess A-1 decides to change it so that Sieg has time to deliver the speech?

Well it’s a shame Astolfo roasting is skipped tho. But I think I like the speech. If that’s how they try to make Sieg likable (I heard he’s not very likable back before this adaptation?), I think it works with me.

NEXT: Servanger 2.0

#random saying #fate/apocrypha #fate apocomment

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mostlysignssomeportents · 5 years

Text

#2yrsago Listen up: you really owe it to yourself to read 15 Vlad Taltos novels, seriously

Vallista [Steven Brust/Tor Books]

https://boingboing.net/2017/10/17/better-than-dark-tower.html

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mostlysignssomeportents · 6 years

Text

#1yrago Listen up: you really owe it to yourself to read 15 Vlad Taltos novels, seriously

Vallista [Steven Brust/Tor Books]

https://boingboing.net/2017/10/17/better-than-dark-tower.html

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mostlysignssomeportents · 6 years

Text

#2yrsago Listen up: you really owe it to yourself to read 15 Vlad Taltos novels, seriously

Vallista [Steven Brust/Tor Books]

https://boingboing.net/2017/10/17/better-than-dark-tower.html

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mostlysignssomeportents · 7 years

Text

Listen up: you really owe it to yourself to read 15 Vlad Taltos novels, seriously

I've followed other long-running series, like Pratchett's Discworld books. Unlike Pratchett, Brust keeps the focus on a single character, Vlad Taltos, and follows his development through book after book, as he quests to...well, that's an interesting question. A more obvious comparison is King's Black Towerbooks, which I followed for decades (only to be disappointed when the series finished with a wet fizzle of a cop-out), but whereas the Black Tower concerned itself with Roland, the eternal and unchanging hero, Vlad Taltos changes...a lot. He learns things, and then learns that those things were wrong. He changes for the better, and for the worse. As a study in character and struggle, these books are unlike anything I've read.

Vallista [Steven Brust/Tor Books]

https://boingboing.net/2017/10/17/better-than-dark-tower.html

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empty-dream · 7 years

Text

Me Watching Fate/Apocrypha Ep 6

OOOO battle of camlann as opening, nice

Have I told you I miss Mordred?

“YO ARTHUR BACK OFF U AIN’T TYPE MOON NUMBER 1 CASH COW ANYMORE” 100% what Mordred just says

Mordred: Look Dad I kill them all bc of you think I suck. Artoria: Well but U still suck.

But anyway, damn Artoria that was really cold.

I can feel the pure rage in Mordred’s voice, applause to Miyuki Sawashiro!

Last time somebody thrusted a similarly giant lance into their enemy, it was also into a red fan favorite king/servant. So really Artoria, u ain’t that different to Gilgamesh.

Did I just come up with a Gil x Artoria material oh my god I’m a genius desperate shipper

The Knights of Round Tables more like Mean Girls: Camelot Version

MOVE EVERYBODY BEST BOY BEDIVERE IS HERE FOR 3 SECONDS ALL HAIL THE SHINING AIRGETLAM!

I have feelings for Bedivere since ever and I don’t care if u don’t understand

Loli Mordred is cute

Ooo Morgan le Fay appears. I am actually curious how does she actually look like? Is she saberface too? She looks like bitch saber even without face

The king is too perfect. The keyword is ‘too’ Mordred. Too much of something is not good.

I believe that Mordred is still convinced that Artoria is a man because the differences Artoria and Morgan have are very...ahem...apparent.

Oh so that’s why she thinks Morgan and Semiramis are similar. Similar aura....similar magic aptitude...similar very long hair... similar boobs...

Mordred: *looks damn cute* Artoria: Meh. Mordred: *looks damn murderous*

If Mordred is summoned as Berserker I bet she’d be just Lancelot 2.0

Kairi be like “Can’t you just show me a nice adventure moment instead of bloody family drama?”

Who has the idea of animating Mordred playing with cat U are a genius.

Waver be like “Don’t forget the II I’m not some asshole nobleman who belittles everybody for not having noble blood like him”

Who has the idea of animating Mordred playing with cat U are a genius A-1 give him raise.

One episode I think A-1 purposely skips out Celenike kidnapping a homunculus butler to her room, they proceed to shove his bloody mangled corpse to my face. Great..

If Mordred has pure unadulterated rage towards Artoria then I have pure unadulterated disgust towards Celenike

If you don’t have a slightest bit of disgust towards Celenike I don’t know what’s wrong with you man

Seriously where did they afford that cool chess set? I want one

What Vlad says: Hmm. What Vlad means: I want to judge your ruthless decision to sacrifice Gordes now that he’s useless but I think that’s a good idea too

Gordes: wasted.

Roche: “I wanna make Sensei’s dreams come true!” Me: “Great, another master with selfless decent wish!” Roche: “Then I can learn more about golems!” Me: “Cool learning spirit kid!” Roche: “That’s why for it to happen, magi and servants and the whole world if needed can just die for all I care!” Me: “Um.”

Seriously kids these days

HOLY SHIT I LOSE MY SHIT CAULES’S ROOM IS LITERALLY AN OTAKU ROOM

HE HAS A MAGICAL GIRL POSTER FOR GOD’S SAKE

CAULES I FUCKING LOVE YOU

I really wanna take you seriously with this dangerous and noble intention you speaking of but not with that Magical Medical Musical poster

A-1 better animate him using his magic next episode

Fran: For an otaku with mediocre talent at magecraft u are a very good master huh

Fran for Earth Hour Ambassador

LOOK AT HER FACE SHE SO PROUD in the novel she thinks Caules will praise her for unplugging the PC AND THAT’S PRECIOUS

Mordred’s role in this episode is just being angry, eating and playing with cat

I still love that they decide to have Mordred, the one who rebels against King Arthur and destroys Britannia, as a fundamentally decent and human person.

YOROKOBE SHONEN MORDRED

Kairi: “Let’s walk around town with your armor on.” Mordred: “I just got the best dad ever”

Oh my God that dress is so cute Jack I wish they just let you wear that dress into battle instead of that shitty stripper costume

Oh hi Semiramis but where is your Hanging Garden of Babylon I wanna see it too!

Semiramis: “What do u think Master?” Shirou: “Totally splendid.” Semiramis: “Great, we can use this for our honeymoon.” Shirou: “What?”

If I was the guard, I’d be like “Cool cosplay dudes! Can I take a photo with u guys?”

Exhibit 102 of Kairi and Mordred being best master-servant pair

Also Exhibit 102 of Kairi being a way better dad than Artoria ever was to Mordred

Wow seeing Jack being nuts and creepy kid is very different than just imagining it huh that giggle holy shit

Would you believe me if a) Chiron was just trying to kill Jack and succeeded in doing that or b) He and Fiore was just not there, a lot of tragedies could be avoided.

Fiore jumping down the building with style and grace

I lost track on keeping with Kairi-Mordred best team exhibits

Fiore and Chiron is Rin-Archer equivalent but healthier and more honest to each other.

I mean they are both competent, have a knack on jumping from high buildings, the master is sorta elegant lady, the archer has secret superb technique that doesn’t have anything to do with archery, the archer serves tea, and so on and so forth

I did a presentation about pankration back when I was in middle school this is so cool

The novel spends pages describing how powerful Mordred is and how she can beat anyone with ease but also have her always very barely comes out a winner or even alive from her fights and she gets super pissed and it’s hilarious

If a girl comes out from dark alley with that scary octopus machine hands I’d make the same face as Kairi too

Fiore switches talking sweetly to talking with stern voice in 1 second

Wow that’s a convenient machinery I want one.

Kairi where is your manner you can’t just ram a girl with a car full speed

I wonder how does Kairi deal with shooting human fingers and throwing heart grenades in his entire life like dude I wanna puke.

Kairi: Adios, babe.

GODDAMNIT WHY YOU CUT IT RIGHT THERE YOU SLY WEASEL!!!

So I take it A-1 isn’t shy of showing blood? Like, actually not shy? Not just some whim?

I love watching Mordred and Jack here in their supposed real characterization I got tired of the dirty naughty fanarts.

NEXT: Caules babe come please

#random saying #fate apocrypha #type moon #nasuverse #fate apocomment

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