#WE'RE ENGAGED!!!!!!!!! SCREAMS AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS

[kingtankgirl]

um... so basically i said yes :)

[saintbluues]

can you do lo'ak with an arranged mate?? some angst if you dont mind hehe

"I'm So Sorry."

Lo'ak x Omatikaya! Reader

I hope this is kinda what you asked for D:

word count: 2k

genre: angst with confort

disclaimer: probably ooc Lo'ak at some point. NETEYAM IS ALIVE. LO'AK DIDN'T FALL FOR TSIREYA.

Kinda proofread and I'm not giving the other woman a name because idk how to come up with na'vi names. I ENJOYED THIS ONE

The subject of mating would be brought up a lot since Toruk Makto and his family came back from Awa-atlu, after all, his sons were getting older. Kiri was a different case.

For the last three months, you've been waiting for Lo'ak, worried he'd never come back from wherever he was. Unbeknownst to you, Jake was already arranging mates for his boys, not being able to wait any longer. Absolutely no one was pleased with the arrangements, specially Lo'ak.

With his rebellious nature, he got into a lot of verbal fights with his parents which resulted in nothing but more trouble. How would he tell you that he was about to be mated to someone he barely knew? Lo'ak was supposed to be with YOU and his dad just wouldn't get it. Status was important and your parents weren't anyone special. No warriors. Ho healers. Just the common folk. You and Lo'ak meeting was just pure luck, right place, right time.

"WHY CAN'T YOU LET ME JUST BE HAPPY? WHY DOES WHO I WANT TO BE WITH MATTER TO YOU?!" Lo'ak screamed from the top of his lungs, Neytiri grabbing his arm pulling him back from Jake. "YOU LOWER YOUR VOICE WHEN SPEAKING TO ME, BOY." He had his finger pointed right at his son's face. "You go and tell that girl it's over, you hear me? Whatever was going on between you two, is no more." If Neytiri wasn't grabbing Lo'ak, he'd surely pounce on his father. Angrily he pulled his arm back and walked out bumping shoulders with anyone in front of him.

Tears welled up in his eyes as he walked through the forest thinking of what the hell he would tell you. Just imagining the look on your face made him cry out loud. It was night-time so Lo'ak wasn't expecting to encounter anyone but how lucky was he? It's as if Eywa was against him and put you right in front of him. What were you doing out here at a time like this? Were you trying to get eaten by some random creature?

Lo'ak turned around on his heel ready to walk off but you saw him. You called out for him. He really couldn't do this right now. Anger still bubbling hot inside him.

"Lo'ak!!!" You waved your hand running in his direction while he tried to get away from you. "LO'AK!!!" Maybe he hadn't heard you but he wasn't that far away and the forest was silent. Finally reaching him, you put your hand on his shoulder. He stopped walking just to push you away.

"Leave me alone." What? What was wrong with him? "What happened, Lo?" He was screwed. Your soft preoccupied voice making the entire situation even more overwhelming. "Nothing!! Just go away!" Now this behaviour was strange. If he ever had a fight at home or something of the sort, he'd open up to you and tell you what was frustrating him. You tried to get closer to him once more, gently touching his face but he slapped your hand away. "WHAT DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND?" Shock spread all over your body. You stood there looking at him with wide eyes and your jaw hung open. "Lo'ak…?" You felt so small and fragile like you could break into a million pieces at any moment.

"If saying my name is all you have to say then please go home." Was he even aware of how he was treating you? He clearly wasn't in his right mind because the Lo'ak you knew would never speak to you like this. "Did I do something wrong?" How you managed to make a sentence come out of your mouth, you don't know.

"I did. Engaging in any romantic stuff with you." His own vision was foggy. Saying these things wasn't any easier than listening to them. He was so going to regret it later. "We're done, ___. I have a mate." A mate??? Since when did he have a mate? What about you? Has he been playing with your feelings all along? You gave your all to him and this is what he does?

"What are you talking about, Lo'ak?" He rolled his eyes, turning his head away.

"You heard me!! So get lost." Oh boy. He just kept digging a bigger hole for himself.

What else was there to say? You smiled in acceptance, lowering your head so hopefully he wouldn't notice the tears falling. You felt pathetic enough. With a nod of your head, you left just like he wanted.

Once he was sure you were gone, Lo'ak sat on the grass, elbows propped up on his knees, fingers intertwined with his braids. His cries could probably be heard all throughout the entire forest, losing his voice from how much he screamed. This was something he wouldn't forgive Jake for this.

You really did leave him alone. You did not try to get in contact with him since that night.

Lo'ak hasn't been the same. Silent and minding his business away from his family. Frequently he'd go for walks around the village, hopeful he'd find you. Just seeing your face would lift his spirits a little more. But he didn't. You were never outside, nowhere to be seen.

Everyone sat around a firepit getting ready for dinner. The last few days the Sullys and the family of the girl (her included of course) Lo'ak was supposed to mate would have dinner together, almost forcing the two youngsters to interact. The girl was absolutely smitten with him, always trying to sit next to him, so close to the point their knees would touch. The sentiment was not shared.

This time, to the Sully boy's surprise, someone he so wanted to lay his eyes upon, joined for dinner. You looked devastated, dark circles under your eyes, corneas red. You did look different. In a bad way. And it was all his fault.

You and your family sat on the outer circle contrary to the Sullys who were in the center one. Lo'ak almost broke his neck eyeing you the entire time. If only he could get up and tell you how he didn't mean anything he said, explain what was really going on. For a split second you looked back at him, which made him turn his head back around as fast as he could.

As soon as dinner was over, he ran off, only to be followed by none other than the girl who seemed to now follow him everywhere he went. He didn't even remember her name in all honesty.

"Where are you going, Lo?" Lo? Who does she think she is? Only you can call him that, after all you're the one who came up with the nickname.

"It does not concern you." He always had a poker face around her, giving her the cold shoulder. "You wouldn't like me to tell you father you're sneaking off right?" This woman is absolutely nuts. She has nothing to do with his business. She got no response back. Lo'ak wasn't even going to bother knowing that she was just trying to get on his nerves. "Maybe we could go somewhere secluded aaand-", "what are you implying?" If he was human, he'd probably have a hundred white hairs thanks to her. "You know what I mean…" Her hands roamed around his chest giving him the famous butterfly lashes or whatever. He didn't care.

"Get your fucking hands off of me! Get your ass back home." He left her alone. His feet taking him to your hut.

There wasn't really anything to knock on so he just invited himself in, coming face to face with your father first.

"What do you want, boy?" He wasn't happy to see Lo'ak and that was for sure. Lo'ak didn't feel welcomed at all but he was the one to blame for this situation.

"I just want to talk to ___."

"My child has no business with you."

"I need to clarify some things. It's very, very urgent." To him it was urgent. He couldn't let another day go by without talking to you. Seeing you how he saw you today edged him on even more. "Please, I beg, sir." This was humiliating. He was aware of how much of a fool he looked but you were more important than the shame he felt. Your father stepped out of the way, the first thing coming into vision being you. Lo'ak walked your way, kneeling in front of you.

" ___…" You wouldn't even look at him. He had to choose his words very wisely not wanting to worsen things. "You don't have to talk to me if you don't want to but I want to apologise for everything I said that day. I didn't mean any of it. My parents made a stupid mate arrangement with another family and nothing I said or how much I fought back mattered to them. I tried, ___. I tried so hard." His hand caressed your cheek. You didn't budge. "The damned girl just won't leave me alone and my father is putting so much pressure on me but that has never stopped me from loving you. That day I was furious after an argument with dad… You just happened to be there at a bad moment and I let it all out. I know I shouldn't have. ___ I need you. I need you by my side so bad."

You finally looked at him, eyebrows furrowed. You felt like a crybaby, crying was all you did in the last week and you were about to do it in front of him. Again.

"I am so sorry, baby." Baby, something he learned from his dad. An English word.

He lifted your hand to his lips, leaving a kiss on the back of it and then putting his forehead against it. It felt wet. Was he crying…? You laid your head on his.

"I believe you."

Suddenly he raised his head, bumping it against yours on accident. Typical of Lo'ak.

"Really? Thank you, thank you, thank you. I love you, ___. I do! I do!" Happiness radiated off of him, it was contagious.

"I love you too, Lo." Lo sounded so good coming from you.

"I'm going to talk to my father again, and if he disagrees, we'll run away together." He said it so serious it was almost funny. "I need you there with me, please."

You did go with him. Now standing in front of Toruk Makto and whoever the other old men was. You didn't know who, by Lo'ak did, very well. That woman's dad. Lo'ak had your hand in his, standing tall, not letting the two men intimidate him, or you.

"Father. It's the last time I'll be saying this. Call this arrangement off. I already have who I want and I will not be mated to anyone else but them." Oh Jake was pissed. In front of his friend too? Really?

"What is this nonsense?" The other man spoke before Jake could reprehend his son.

"I'm glad YOU are here. Tell your daughter and yourself I want Nothing to do with her. This shit was never my idea anyway." You looked at Lo'ak, concerned about what the consequences of this might be.

"Lo'ak." His father called for him.

"Excuse me?" Eywa, the old man sounded very aggravated, his eyes almost popping out of their sockets.

"You're excused. Leave me be! And dad, nothing you say will change my mind." Lo wrapped his arm around you protectively. You and him reminded Jake of his younger self and Neytiri. Could he really punish his younger son for this? For loving? Jake has been nothing but a hypocrite and it was time for him to stop and get some sense knocked into his head. Jake stood up, turning to the warrior previously sitting next to him.

"My friend… We'll talk about this later, just the two of us." There wasn't much to talk about. It was obvious this arrangement was over with.

In no time, he left, leaving father, son and his lover behind. Jake grabbed Lo'ak's upper arm, giving it a reassuring squeeze. "I'm sorry son. ___." It sounded genuine. No need for any more fights about this.

You smile up at Toruk Makto, a hand at your chest showing gratitude for his understanding at last.

[bi-hop]

my thoughts on rgu ep 2

and we're back to watching rgu! my thoughts so far can be found here.

it's funny and cute how those girls fawn over utena. no further thoughts, I just enjoy when that happens in yuri

I was so fucking worried that Wakaba wouldn't want to talk to Utena anymore after All That. I think Utena did the duel for a good reason but it's not like Wakaba asked her to. but nope, that wasn't the point of all that. it's okay, girl, you're better than Saionji's abusive ass anyway

... is the student council a doomsday cult?

you'd think for a group trying to 'bring revolution to the world' or whatever, they'd be more comfortable with a chaos agent added to their game LMAOOO anyway I'm pretending I understand what the fuck is going on with the letters but I don't <3

current working theory: End of the World is a supernatural force guiding them to achieve ends on the material plane. source? I have none. do not tell me what's going on or I will scream at the top of my lungs and embarrass us all

I had the feeling Anthy would be in the dorm but her writing her name underneath Utena's because her placement was an afterthought is... cute... kinda heartwrenching...

also is Anthy meant to look like a housewife? they're really hammering home the patriarchal nature of engagement and marriage here, and we haven't even gotten to another duel

speaking of their situation... while Anthy being like "you dress like a boy because you like to and I do the role as a Rose Bride because I like to" is an interesting conversation to have, I don't know if I believe it. I'm not claiming Utena's reasoning for dressing the way she does is false, I just also don't think it's the full story considering how she was also inspired to dress a certain way by a figure in her past. As for Anthy though, I do think it's false. I think she certainly believes what she's saying but the idea that she just naturally enjoys being subservient (cooking, cleaning) and being an object (more on that later) does not seem organic or 'true' to her.

my girlfriend wants a Chu-Chu plushie... ruh roh

okay back to the duels. I was already thinking she'd object to further duels because the one she partook in was exclusively for the benefit of Wakaba and she has no interest in the power plays over the Rose Bride. she doesn't even know about what they're fighting for, right? so why would she care

god, Saionji is such an abusive ex. I mean, obviously, but wow. I do think the situation is worsened by the fact that the duels confer a sense of ownership over Anthy, but the entitlement... the way he feels like she's betrayed him when he's the one who lost while also having THE ADVANTAGE? rotating him calling her shameless... Saionji-senpai vs Utena-sama... hm

I honestly didn't really notice the castle at the top of the sky when I was watching episode 1, so now the dialogue about entering it makes sense lmao

Utena claiming not to care about Anthy's situation but then immediately getting into the Sword of Dios rite and subconsciously moving to protect the rose even at the potential risk to her... yeah okay. Even Saionji calls her out on it lmao

final thoughts on the way Anthy is rendered an object to be possessed and owned but the way Saionji literally talks about her and the Sword of Dios in the same breath as 'glory' rather than, you know, Anthy being a person he cares for says it all. Her worth is only in the sense of possessing the power of Dios (whatever that means)

... is the prince Dios??? is he dead? what the fuck.

.... is Dios End of the World?!??!!? I'm so confused

Next episode is a ball episode and I'm excited for that one. I love balls, I love intrigue, I love messes.

This episode was good though, even if the pace felt different than the first episode. I think my central interest so far in the series is unraveling the mystery of what the fuck is going on at this school (the student council being powerful enough to make kids vanish is so funny btw), but I'm also deeply invested in Anthy. her passivity in the face of everything is alarming and I just want to understand it. how much of it is facade? how much of it is genuine conditioning? I want to know!!!

[ominous-feychild]

✦ Character Voice Tag ✦

Following tag from @honeybewrites!

Characters from Sun and Shadow: Freya, Crow, and Daleira Characters from the Arcane Rifts: Gene, Tazin, and Mislav

Lines to be used: - "Move over! I wanna watch too." @honeybewrites - "A little help, please?" @the-golden-comet - "Unhand me!" @the-letterbox-archives - "Okay, someone has to come up with a plan" @fractured-shield

"Move over! I wanna watch too."

Freya: "Move! Ugh--please, sorry!" *has already shoved her way past* Crow: *teleported through shadows to get to a better vantage point* Crow: "Excusez-moi!" *at the same time as slapping them aside with their wing* (note: they are not French.) Daleira: "Excuse me, please. I want to watch this too." Gene: "Uhm... ex-excuse me... please..." Tazin: "OUT OF THE WAY!" *meanwhile shoving people way more violently than necessary* Mislav: *way too quietly* "excuse me? I... excuse--vynost, I SAID MOVE!!!" *will shove if they haven't jumped out of the way of the screaming 9-year-old*

"A little help, please?"

Freya: "A little help over here!? Sooner rather than later???" Crow: "Ey! Over here! HELP!" Daleira: "Hey, could I get some help please?" Gene: *is not physically capable of asking for help* Gene: "Uhm... could-could I... please get some help?" Tazin: "Get your ass over here and HELP ME!" (note: read in a nasally, obnoxious 9-year-old's voice) Mislav: "hey, um... could I get some help? Please?"

"Unhand me!"

Freya: "what the--let go of me!" *will tear away from who/whatever grabbed her if she's able* Crow: *combat mode: engaged. Duck into their own shadows and teleport to get a moment to process the scene before reacting further.* Crow: *calmly, making eye contact* "you have less than five seconds to let go of me. Five. Four--" Daleira: *making eye contact, but trying to figure out if the grabbing was malicious or well-intentioned* "what's wrong." (hint: you do NOT want to be on her bad side.) Gene: *at the top of his lungs, voice cracking from under-use, and simultaneously yanking away with more strength than a 7-year-old should have* "LET GO OF ME!!!" (*panik attack*) Tazin: *insert unintelligible demonic screeching here. And imagine the grabber being set on fire. Because both will be the case.* Mislav: "LET GO OF ME!" *will yank away with, yet again, more strength than a human child should have. In fact, even more than a human adult if the grabber is intimidating. Will headbutt and leave a GNARLY bruise if necessary.*

"Okay, someone has to come up with a plan!"

Freya: "Guys??? What are we doing??? Don't tell me I have to figure something out!" Crow: *deadpan* "Don't make me break out Plan B. Trust me, you do NOT want Plan B." Daleira: *taking a deep breath and tying her hair back with a hairtie that JUST magically appeared* "alright, here's what we're going to do." Tazin: "GENE, COME UP WITH SOMETHING RIGHT NOW!!!" Gene: (regardless of whether or not ^^^ just happened) "I... I think I have an idea..." Mislav: "ohvynostpleaseno--does anyone have a plan??? Anyone??? Anything??? Ohvynostno--PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME HAVE TO USE IT!!!"

Your line: "Well, you see, Perry the Platypus, it all started on the day I (...) AND THAT'S WHY I PLAN TO CONQUER THE TRI-STATE AREA!" (in other words, if you don't want to Doofenshmirtz it, "This is why I'm about to do this No Good, Very Bad Thing. That is also why you are not going to stop me or change my mind." I thought it'd be fun with Doofenshmirtz's way, but either should work!)

Tagging (with no pressure) @darkandstormydolls @yourpenpaldee @.honeybewrites @.the-letterbox-archives (avoiding double-tags) and whoever else wants to join!

Divider from @cafekitsune

[nic-coughlan]

what are you most excited for in part 2??

ooooo!!!

~

spoilers

~

the LW reveal is a big one. the beautiful part of being the audience is being part of the secret. so when we had colin like 'if i ever find out who LW is i'll ruin her life' and we're like 'OHHH SHIT' but we know it's going to be angsty and heart wrenching but it'll be delicious angst.

their wedding, i'm 99% certain we'll get a whole white dress, walking down the aisle, me hysterically sobbing into my hands bc BOY WIFE HER UP!!!

their wedded bliss. i can't stress how much i need that engaged/honeymoon bliss of both of them being so in love with each other and penelope becoming a bridgerton and being welcomed into that family fold bc honestly, hand on heart, fuck the featherington lot. (also colin confronting and shouting at portia will make me scream at the top of my lungs in JOY)

[iwanthermidnightz]

As usual, I’m gonna share the parts of this article that resonate with me (pretty much all of it). Several points were made. And the unapologetic queer visibility makes me so proud. Please give it a read 🥲

LD: I also do want to say, even though there is a bunch of awesome overlap with the trans community and the drag community, transness and drag are separate things — but that's the reason why we did it [in Tennessee], is because those things are being conflated here.

It's crazy that we were on tour for all of Pride Month and being pretty f*cking gay, and talking about gay rights on stage. You’d think that the circles that we run in would be like, yeah, cool, but I feel like there is still… Prejudice towards gay people comes from all sides, including gay people.

I have, you know, rolled my eyes at certain aspects of Pride, just the corporate aspect of things. We were hanging out with a friend who was like, yeah, the gas station has a pride flag, but I'm still getting looked at funny in the streets; what is Pride actually doing?

JB: Shell Oil Company is like, happy pride! Like, okay.

LD: It's weird, the more comfortable I am, the more opposition I feel from other people who are discontent with how I qualify as a gay person. I'm like, Do you need a sex tape?

PB: As someone who doesn't qualify as gay, I can't participate in this conversation. I haven't sent in enough chips to corporate. [laughs]

I speak for all of us [when I say] I feel like our communities are so supportive, like f*cking rainbows and buttercups all the time. We're really good at making friends and we have so much support around each of us, and so much privilege, and each live in an accepting place and choose accepting people to be around. But when I or Lucy get hate for not turning in our like, gay paperwork, all I'm thinking is about the way that I would have felt at f*cking age 11 being like, Oh, I'm not allowed to do that. This famous person is being humiliated for expressing themselves, and so I should not, I especially should not express myself.

JB: I don't get as much hate because people are like, there goes a lesbian. You know what I mean? [All laugh.]

LD: It’s really binary.

JB: I've spent a lot of my life being a masc dressing queer person, or just not engaging with gender play at all. It’s like, queer people saying that you have to acquiesce to one of three queer archetypes, or one of a handful of queer archetypes in order to be represented.

LD: That's why our shows are so special to me is that they are very gay. People are throwing flags at us, young people are making out in front of us, it is a space that is precious to me and would have changed my life if I could have been a part of it when I was younger. I'm extremely proud, and I just implicitly love everybody at our shows at a base level. I think we all do. The reason we're doing it is because we care abstractly about all these strangers and want for them what we could have had. Also we're coming from a position where we're talking to a bunch of young people, we do get to put messages worth hearing out there, I think that's not lost on us.

PB: I am mostly proud of the way that I watch the discourse [play out], and I'm proud of the conclusions that these children are coming to. Everybody is sticking up for us and each other and there's just a couple weirdos that are very loud. I think our community is being protected by the people in it. And it is such a safe space show, and I'm so fucking proud. Even the amount of femme people in the audience, screaming at the top of their lungs and having to take up a high octave... It’s a different rock show than I've ever experienced. It’s amazing to me.

JB: The microphone I have with y'all, the reach is wider, it just factually is, and I think a lot about responsibility to hear [others’ opinions…] To be the subject of discourse at all is to live a question into the world, so I will allow myself to do that. I will allow a little bit of my identity — which as a queer person, I've been at once defensive of and fiercely protective of and encouraged to erase completely — I'm like, okay, so I have to exist with this identity subsumed into the culture, into the topic of someone's conjecture. Because it's going to be one case study. That's the whole idea of visibility, visibility doesn't have to be perfect representation.

I was thinking about this too, something that bugged me was that meme that was the talent and popularity graph and it was popularity way above talent, and they were like, “This is boygenius.” You're missing the damn point. [If only the most talented people got to speak,] Steve Vai would be speaking for all f*cking musicians because he's best at guitar. That's not what I want.

PB: But again, that is just Twitter. I think we are as beloved as is possible for any public, femme presenting, or queer, in public. I think we just get an amount of hate because we're stepping on guitar guys. It is fucking dumb, and it is just what is happening. Every time I look at a Pitchfork post of us, it's the most incel f*cking shit ever in the comments section.

JB: I was telling Lucy, I feel like if someone made that meme about me, Julien Baker, on a solo headlining tour, I would be up at four in the morning in the back lounge of the bus running scales. With y'all, I'm like, You're missing the point you dumbass. It's like Kathleen Hanna being like, the Sex Pistols are bad at their instruments. Why can I not just have a band that's fun and cool and angry?

LD: I wanna say, we're a little fed up, obviously, with some things, but I agree with you, Phoebe, the biggest sentence I have to say is we're having so much fun. That is the message that I think people are mostly getting, and the one that I want them to get, is that we are happy and having fun, and that is not frivolous at all. Fun is essential.

PB: Everybody knows every word to the entire set. We sell thousands of tickets. It is going as good as humanly possible. It is insane.

LD: And it's because we feel safe and supportive that we can mostly safely and supportively do drag in Tennessee. It's because we have such a solid foundation of joy we can be in defense of other people's joy, in ways that feel really valuable to me personally, and I hope valuable to other people.

JB: The whole reason why I feel comfortable engaging with this at all and it's not an existential crisis for me is because, what you're saying, Lucy: I have a foundation of joy that makes me convicted that this is important, not frivolous, highly worthy, highly valuable. So when I see us as the subject of discourse I'm interacting with it in a different way that I don't think I'd be able to [alone]. I wonder if kids watching that in third person happen will also be resilient to the same kind of things.

PB: You’re allowed to be bad at guitar, anybody reading this.

LD: I’m bad at guitar.

PB: Other shit, you do have to work so hard. And you have to love it. If you love playing guitar and you're bad at guitar, that rocks.

TV: What other moments would you highlight? I feel like there’s been a lot of good ones, like the t-shirt selling out.

PB: Love, love to just have the power to snap my fingers and mobilize people to give their money away to a cause. That is the best part of my job.

JB: It’s participation. It’s visibility. It's you, outward signaling something you believe in as a principle. It's also literally redistributing funds to us to organizers, nonprofits and legislators that are trying to make the world a better place. And we get to be in charge of that, and also give somebody a gift that's like, you're a country queer! We see you.

TV: Did you expect the fans to be so young this tour? I’ve been really impressed!

LD: It's interesting, I think Julien was saying this, being something through which some kids are learning some stuff. I usually am really upset when I'm misunderstood, but I think that part of that happening now is people on their way to understanding something that I think is important and outside of me, that we are just a case study for, and that is just a really sweet and special position to be in.

JB: This really gets to me, I'll see a group of friends all hugging during our set, a collection of songs about grieving and leaning on your friends. I'll be like, What did y'all go through? Something f*cking horrible.

I think about this with the credibility or the legitimacy of music, like with the whole Pitchfork incel guy, it goes back to that. I'm like, dude, I love that a bunch of kids are at our show. I've said it once, I'll say it again: I took a class in young adult literature. And I was like, wow, this is maybe the most important kind of literature. Paradise Lost is for people who think that their brain is big, young adult literature is for f*cking people who don't know what literature is yet — they need a window, they need a door. They need a pass. Phoebe you were saying, like, music that not-adult cis white guys like.

LD: Those guys are showing up too, and good for them. And if they're the ones that are mad about this, maybe they're on their path of understanding something better, too.

JB: I cry at all the kids, man.

PB: Me too.

JB: My mom texted me and was like, I would have died if there was something like y'all when I was a kid — and I don't even think she gets some stuff we're saying.

PB: It's funny to [realize] I would have bleached my hair and wanted to be me.

JB: Dude, it's so f*cking sick. I think about me at 16 — I was trying to be a hardcore guy, I wanted to get tattoos, I wanted to play guitar in a band. And then I just turned out… me. I used to try to make my hair look like k.d. Lang; I wonder if we're a thing people realize they can look like.

LD: Also, I think being affectionate on stage has been really fun and sweet, and it exhibits behavior that I think is healthy and good. That's another element of it that I think is good to show kids, the way that I think drag is actively good for kids to interact with, because it's this fun way to interact with gender and to explain things like that early to children is really awesome. Just being able to gaily and affectionately kiss your bros, that's a principle that I value, that I wish was more valued for kids. Not saying like, kids gotta go all make out!

I'm proud of the space we're taking up. I think we're using it in ways I'll be able to stand behind when I get older.

PB: There's also such a deep, both fetishizing and desexualizing of lesbians, in a way that I think is ridiculous. Obviously MUNA is standing staunchly against that as well, by being a f*cking boyband. It's just fun to be like, it's not that serious — and it also is deeply meaningful.

[justatalkingface]

Bakugou and Izuku's 'Friendship'

Or, what the fuck do you think friendship is?

For the purposes of this post, we're temporarily ignoring... their entire backstory, basiclly. For all intents and purposes, these two met in UA, there's no childhood trauma, no assaults, no demands that Izuku commit suicide, none of that. We're trying to take a look at the current 'friendship' between Izuku and Bakugou.

And, in that spirit, I want to say this: why, in the the name of burning fuck, do you call this a friendship?

No, seriously: I see these posts, here and elsewhere, with clips of, like, Bakugou yelling at Izuku so hard his hair is being blown back. Or hitting Izuku. Or insulting Izuku. And these posts say, unironically (unless I'm missing some weird ass trend) that these are 'Dawww' moment.

You know, like you would go when you see a cute kitten or something.

But it's worse than that, because the manga itself seems to support this; I'll never forget that picture of All Might smiling at Izuku and Bakugou fondly as Bakugou yells his head off, absolutely losing his shit like a bratty five year old, while Izuku is just patiently trying to fight through the torrent of verbal vomit and get to the other side.

Dawww.

Bakugou screaming his head off less than a foot from Izuku's head, probably causing permanent hearing loss? Adorable. Look at what great friends they are, you love to see it!

...I'm sorry? Is... is that what you think friendship is? Do you have a friend that just spends all their free time belittling you? No, I'm being serious: do you have a friend like that? Because, in all seriousness, if you do, I really want you to reassess that relationship.

But, I can almost hear someone say, me and my friend mock each other all the time! Or, maybe, my friend calls me an idiot or some such, but they mean it affectionately!

....Alright, let's break this down a little. A good, healthy relationship, a friendship, whatever, is give and take. You get something out of it, and the other person gets something out of it. It's built off connections, something that bind you together, and mutual trust.

Let me put it like this: let's say your friend calls you a name, and because of your history, that name, that may or may not seem insulting, is in fact not insulting, but instead references your history together. Do they use your actual name? Or does using it cause them almost physical pain, to the point they've only used it once in literal years?

Or this: you fight with your friend. Or berate them. Or something like that. Do you... stop? Do you do something with them other than that? Do you yell at them, just... flat out scream at them, on the top of your lungs? Is all that you do yell at them?

Do you hurt your friends? And I'm not talking about friendly punching: do you throw frozen snowballs at their head? Do you impale them with sharp metal objects?

Yeah... that's the thing with Bakugou's 'friendship' with Izuku: there's no actual friendship to it. Bakugou insults and attacks Izuku, and in response he.... puts up with it. All friendships are different, sure, but there is a line, where things cross over into cruelty or abusive behavior: I have a friend who I mock, and I would never do to them what Bakugou does to Izuku all the fucking time. Ever. I hope with all sincerity that if I did what Bakugou does? That someone would slap me, because that is not OK.

More than that, though, is the fact that a good friendship should be more than that: even good hearted ribbing can be hurtful if it happens too much. When does Bakugou stop? When has Bakugou interact with Izuku in a healthy way? When have they just had a conversation, one where he isn't yelling, that's not loaded with hurtful subtext from the past, or with Bakugou demanding something from Izuku, anything like that? When do they.... play video games, or engage in some sort of activity together? And, before anyone says something, that is not part of the training they do as part of their school, as ordered by their teacher, because that doesn't actually count (not that he does that then, either).

And, on that topic.... 'But Bakugou saved Izuku's life!'. Well. First off that entire situation, as I've said before, is stupid forced bullshit to railroad Izuku into needing to be saved at all, while somehow giving Bakugou enough time to save him (even though Izuku could... save himself in that situation, since Bakugou had all this time to fly over?), all while making him act OOC, in that 'He's totally redeemed, guys!' way Hori loves, to make him save Izuku at all!

But let's ignore that. Let's say that, actually, Bakugou just saved Izuku in a normal way. Here's the thing: saving people is, in fact, his actual job. It doesn't matter if it was Izuku, or Bakugou's mom, or some random scrub off the street: Bakugou's actual job, as a hero, is to save people. Him doing it is something that deserves acknowledgement, sure (if only because of how wildly out of his usual behavior patterns that is), but it's not a sign of friendship. The entire point of that, as Bakugou's 'growth', is that he grew enough to get past his ego to help other people like a hero should.

And, I swear to fuck, if you try to tell me Bakugou 'apologizing' to Izuku, insincerely by his own admission, after attacking him, is a sign of friendship? I really, really, really, want you to sit down, picture your friend leading a mob of people you trust to attack you, after you've spent days alone, fighting for your life against people trying to kill you, only for them to promptly apologize while saying 'it changes nothing'.

Think about that, and think about how that would make you feel.

[ghuleh-recs]

Violence & Gentleness by @anamelessfool

You made me forget myself…I thought I was someone else, someone good… LATE OCTOBER 1979 Primo has his work cut out for him as the bodyguard of the beautiful and fearsome Mater Emerita Jocasta. As mystery after mystery unfolds, it becomes harder to remain a honest man in this den of thieves called the Ministry.

(Thank you in advance for humoring me whilst I scream at the top of my lungs into the abyss about this wonderful fanfic under the cut.)

@anamelessfool is creating something really special here. Her writing style is cinematic and engaging as she weaves a mystery set in the late 70s featuring a VERY dreamy Primo before he becomes Papa. He is bodyguard and lover to the incredibly cool Papessa OC, Mater Emerita Jocasta. Fool’s world building and lore are so creative without being intimidating or dense. This story is set in her wonderful Void AU but can easily be read as a standalone.

Papa-enjoyers will lose their fucking minds over Primo and all of his kid brothers. We’ve got sullen troublemaker teen Terzo (who just needs a hug tbh). We’ve got capable prodigy eager-to-prove-himself Secondo. WE HAVE THE CUTEST TODDLER COPIA THAT HAS EVER BEEN WRITTEN. Truly. You are not prepared for how much you’ll love him. And finally we’ve got a hilarious deadbeat hippie dad Nihil who definitely experimented with too many psychedelic drugs in the sixties.

I know many of us read fan fiction for horny reasons—whether it be ghoul-on-ghoul or papa-on-you—but I triple dog dare you to broaden your horizons for just a moment and check this one out.

A quick excerpt from one of my favorite scenes before you go:

Nihil stretched his face out into a wide, rubbery mask of enthusiasm. “Primo! Ah! Far out! Congratulations….” The stark white Infernal Eye shone in its socket. “He looks just like Jocasta! My grandson…”

“No, that's not— I'm not going to even…” Primo paused and threw his father a polite smile. He added that moment to the pile of evidence that suggested that either the Papa Emeritus Ritual or the Sixties scrambled the man's brain.

“Edelweiss Ghoul and I found him in the location the Conclave uncovered. His father was—” The image of the splattered wall shot through his mind. The dummy-like hands and splayed feet. Primo swallowed. “We think his father was killed.”

“Terrible! That's terrible, man!” Nihil’s face morphed again.

“He's yours now, right? So still my grandson.”

“We're only taking care of him until I find his family,” said Primo.

“We? Did you say “we?”” Terzo padded forward to stand a foot away from Copia on Primo’s knee. His expression was inscrutable.

“Yes, ‘we’,” Primo insisted. Copia started to kick in his lap and he brought the child down to the floor. “All of us. Need to take care of him. He doesn't have anyone else. Copia, this is Terzo.”

Copia flashed Terzo his furious little face. Terzo blanched, then stared right back. “What did I do to you, eh? Ragazzone?”

“Does he not speak?” From his seat at the window Secondo had a curious small smile hovering on his lips. He held his hands out to the child. Copia glanced back at Primo.

“Not really. Go on, Copia, that's Secondo.”

Secondo somehow brought the child into his lap and opened the book again. Right away Copia settled in and stared at the pages, his eyes wide with curiosity. Primo felt a shift in himself that he hadn’t experienced in a few days: he started to feel relaxed. As he watched his younger brother tend to the child with thoughtful muttering and an imperceptible smile he fell back a little on the couch. It was going to be okay.

You can read the rest here.

𖤐 you know the drill--bookmark, read, and leave kudos/comments!

[greyias]

Tadpole Gang Antics Du Jour

So I finally decided to be brave and go take care of things in the goblin camp and Shattered Sanctum. Rescued Papa Bear without incident, but told him to stay put, because Tadpole Gang can be Sneaky™ and be strategic in dealing with the big bads.

Having heard some tips, before heading into the actual fights, I decided some strategic scouting was in order, and spied the little war drums all about the sanctum and decided before engaging in any battles, those needed to be taken care of first. So I had my trusty rogue break away from the party and sneak over and destroy them. Wait, look around. Does anyone care? Nope! Onto the next.

And so on and so forth, until I find two locations where a normal party member can't roam without triggering a cutscene that I'm not ready for. Hm. I know! It's time to bring back the best familiar in Faerun!

Basket My Love. We renamed her on stream this weekend. She liked it better than Shovel.

Basket casts invisibility on herself, and is off to the races! She sneaks her way behind Minthara with the Scrying Eye none the wiser, and then swipes at it with her claws, then turns invisible again and scampers back to the party. No one has noticed. The perfect crime.

Her next target is behind hobgoblin man, she expertly sneaks in, destroys the drum, and back over to the party. The entire room completely oblivious. We're on a roll.

We do one more loop around to just make sure, and curses! We missed one on the opposite end of the room with the priestess. Shoot. And there's a very disgruntled NPC who's annoyed with the whole party because we took away her yodeling prisoner, and she's staring right at the war drum.

Okay, so we save, and it's time for the power of Rock and Roll to save the day again. Aravyn places herself strategically and starts strumming away on her lute, in order to make up for this goblin's tragic loss of a bard. She loves it, she's into it. The entire room is into it and swarms around her. Astarion goes into sneak mode, okay no one seems to be looking at the drum, goes into attack mode and---the entire room swivels around to witness him obliterate the war drum. Roll for initiative.

Damn. Save scum time. Roll back and look at that stupid war drum. Apparently this is one time that the power of distraction will not help us. So the party scampers off to completely different room.

It's Basket Time!

Basket sneaks in invisibly, goes right up to the war drum. Presumably makes direct eye contact with the music loving goblin and completely obliterates the war drum, making herself visible in the process. The entire room turns to see the Quasit inexplicably destroying one of their war drums and initiative is rolled, she's the only member of the party engaged in battle.

She screams at the top of her lungs "BASKET IS GONNA MURDERIZE YOU!"

Then vanishes completely from existence as the summon familiar spell is dismissed.

All of the aggro'd NPCs look incredibly confused at their war drum being destroyed by this random disappearing Quasit. The rest of the party wanders back into the room in the midst of the confusion and look at the war drum like "DAMN who would DO such a thing???"

And the NPCs are all like "I KNOW RIGHT?" and the group walks on by.

Mission accomplished, all the war drums are toast. Now it's time to d-d-d-duel with these goblin leaders.

[queenburd]

listen, i AM sorry, ive been trying not to whinge for attention or notes and Ive tried to exist in my own pocket of joy with my own circle for forever

but in my real life Im dealing with a constant ambivalence, a constant lack of care or support from the people whose jobs are to help me. healthcare, lawyers, disability, unemployment. I keep pushing and pushing for support that I am not getting. i keep trying and pushing and nothing's getting better. my depression is wildly out of control despite all my efforts.

and this miserable certainty that Nobody Cares Actually is leaking into my desire to create the things I care about. I feel like I'm sitting and screaming into a room that isnt even empty, it's not a void, it's a room full of people, but nobody is turning their heads, nobody cares. I'm not making things anybody actually has interest in. Nobody wants to see me. Nobody wants me here. I'm wasting my time.

I should be creating for me, I AM creating for me, but I want people to acknowledge I exist. I want to give people something of value. Right now it feels like I don't have any value, like the entire system and world has been repeating "hey nobody actually gives a shit or wants you around. we're not going to help you because we don't want you here."

so then when i create things for something I know other people like but then I just get crickets, I can feel it in my brain. "This thing you care about? nobody wants to hear from you about it. nobody is interested in the things you have to say. you're never going to get any attention for it, because you dont deserve attention. it's just not good."

i KNOW it's insane and it's stupid and I know that it doesn't matter and I know that wanting fucking notes on a piece of art or writing is so STUPID. but i just wish more than a handful of people had interest. and then isnt that an insult to that handful? why cant i be grateful for them?

and I am. I am grateful. and maybe Im not grateful enough. because I still feel like im screaming in a room at the top of my lungs, and who fucking cares? who cares. stop wasting your breath. just stop.

I really thought if i cared about something enough, people would want to hear it and engage with it.

stupid.

[kitkatwinchester]

BROOOOOOO

Okay so remember when I said "oh, I waited to continue Season 3 until I knew I'd be able to watch a bunch of them at once"?

Yeah things never work out the way I want them to. XD

THAT SAID!!

WE'RE BACK BABY!!

And I really do feel confident that I can finish Season 3 this weekend!! I am very determined to!! Partially because I freaking love this season and it's so engaging and so good and so upsetting and so terrifying and I really need to see how it ends, but also partially because once I finish Season 3, I'm halfway done, and as much as I don't want this show to be over, I really want to finish it, because I have all of these ideas for fan fictions and music video edits that I want to do, but I told myself I'm not allowed to do any of them until I've actually finished the whole show and the movie, 'cause then all of my content is actually up to date. XD

...that was a long babble.

My bad.

ANYWAYS!

Can we talk about how F*CKING BAD*SS DEATON IS?! Dude I MISSED this man!! Let's f*cking GO! This whole opening of this episode is just sooo cool and SO fire, and the way Deaton freaking coordinated EVERYTHING so that he could get answers and find a way to help Stiles I just...we love this man. <3

Also, just, like, how calm and collected he always is in the face of danger because he knows he has the upper hand in some regard. Mountain ash countertops when Peter Hale tried to come after Scott at the veterinary place, Scott in his corner when he got kidnapped by Jennifer Blake, and now this paralytic toxin when he had a literal gun held to his head. Like, THIS MAN! We love him.

I can't remember if it's been officially stated where I am in the show that he used to be the Hale's emissary, or if I read that somewhere on accident, but either way, I am so f*cking glad he's on our team. WE MIGHT ACTUALLY HAVE A CHANCE NOW!!

Now, all of that said...

WHAT THE F*CK?!

Okay, I'm sorry, I am. You know I love this show, with every fiber of my being. And you KNOW I love Allisaac.

But are they KIDDING ME with that scene?!

Kira literally SCREAMED "everyone stay back" at the top of her lungs, and what does Allison do? Literally runs DIRECTLY TOWARDS the area she told them to stay back from, which forces Isaac to push her away, which pushes him into the electrocuted water, which now has him fatally injured (I swear to God, if they KILL ISAAC like THAT, I will be exchanging some WORDS with the writers, because wtf).

Like, seriously, wtf? Allison can be kind of an idiot sometimes about certain things, but SERIOUSLY?! She is NOT that dumb, wtf. I'm sorry, you know I love this show, but that was bad writing, and I'm mad about that, because that was stupid.

That SAID, I will, VERY happily, take the bad*ss Kira moment, because that freaking ROCKED. The way she was panicking, but then it turned into something more determined when she finally leaped that car and then got ahold of the wire and just grabbed it and pulled all the energy out from it.

And the way her eyes glowed and she just stared at Scott, whose presence was undoubtedly grounding her through that. And the way he just stared back in this mix of, like, worry and awe and amazement I just...yeah I ship them so hard. That was a cool moment.

It didn't COMPLETELY make up for the dumb writing that was Isaac getting hurt, but...it helped somewhat.

Anyways.

Season 3, Episode 19.

Ooh. Choices choices choices. Bad*ss Deaton, bad*ss Kira, adorable Kira and Scott...let's see which one gives me a better gif. XD

(Here's a thought--why not both? XD <3)

[peakyoak]

This Dark Disposition: Chapter 8 - Everything is Extra

Chapter 8 - Everything is Extra

Sunday - Danielle

Tommy is to visit again today and Danielle knew she had two options. She could either try and talk about what she overheard with him, or she could pretend to ignore it. She knew her mother would tell her to ignore it; "don't meddle in muck that isn't yours" she'd say. Danielle wasn't sure what to do. She knew that they would have to talk about it before the Cheltenham race next Sunday. For now, she decided, she would let it rest.

She thought back to Friday night, and the time she spent with Tommy. It felt as though Friday was so long ago. She wondered if Tommy wouldn't be as kind as Friday, and if he may expect her to engage physically with him.

Around 10 O'clock in the evening, he arrived at the flat with a brisk knock before entering.

"You know you could wait, and let me greet you at my door," Danielle said.

"Well, given that that is in fact my door I figure I will continue to enter whenever and however I please," he said, taking a seat at the table. That made Danielle keep quiet for a few seconds.

"How is Arthur," she asked.

"Thanks to the skills of his nurse he seems to be healing quickly."

Danielle blushed, "Would you like a drink, Mr. Shelby?"

"Yes love, but only if you'll call me Tommy" She smiled and poured them each an Irish Whiskey. Danielle then joined Tommy at the table, where he handed her a cigarette. He pulled out his lighter and she leaned close to him so he could light it. After which he lit his own.

"You know, I never wanted to be a nurse," she took a drag off the cigarette, "I wanted to be a teacher. But, when my father volunteered I couldn't stand to stay in that tiny house, listening to my mother's cries for my father. Looking back at it now, I would be lying if I said I thought any of us would ever end up in France," She exhaled the smoke she had in her lungs, "and now that I'm back I'm afraid I've turned into my mother, waking during the night, crying, screaming, all because I chose to be a nurse and go to France." Danielle was not a particularly open, or emotional person, and yet, somehow she felt safe telling this to Tommy. Perhaps she knew he would understand in a way that none of her family members- well, none of her living family members, did.

"You're not the only one, love," Tommy said, as he shifted in his chair, "I have no doubt that you are a survivor, Danny. You survived in the trenches, and you were making sure your family survived by stealing from my betting ring. And it is because you are a survivor, that I need to know if I can trust that you won't repeat anything that you have heard or seen about my business; not now, nor in the future"

"You think I can't keep a secret, Tommy" she teased, thinking about what Ada had told her the day before.

"No love, I know you can, they wouldn't have sent you to France if you couldn't"

"Ay," Danny started, "Your secret is safe with me, Tommy."

"In the war," Tommy started, "I was a tunneler." Danielle thought he would continue talking about his experience in the war, but instead he shifted forward in his chair towards her and said, "We're home now. Everything after France is extra. We're dead already," and Danielle could once again smell that blasted cologne.

She looked at him, and her gaze traced the outline of his face, starting from his eyes, down the sides of his face, until she stopped at his neck. She leaned in further and with both hands she took off his peaky cap. With the razor firmly held in one hand she grabbed both sides of his face and kissed him.

"Danny," he said, "you don't need to do this, not if you're not ready" she continued to kiss him while they both stood up.

"Shut up you bloody fool," she said, taking off his jacket. Together the pair walked towards the bed. Tommy took off the sweater Danielle was wearing, leaving her in her skirt and blouse.

In the bedroom now, Danielle guided Tommy's back down to her sheets. While on top of him, the pair continued to kiss, and Danny could feel Tommy's hands exploring her body over her clothes. Tommy then rolled her over so he was on top of her, but he did not take off anymore of her clothes. Rather he continued to explore her body and her mouth.

Danielle suddenly felt Tommy pull back from her lips, leaving her looking into his mesmerizing eyes, "'Since your brother got jumped by some coppers'" he mocked, with a smile on his face, hinting at what John had said while Danielle had helped Arthur.

Danielle scrunched up her face, laughing, "That wasn't my first time telling a soldier to get in line, and I'm sure it won't be my last either" she giggled.

Tommy leaned in to kiss her once again, "No love, I'm certain it will not."

Tommy then got up off the bed, leaving Danielle feeling vulnerable on the bed, not wanting him to leave.

"Stay, Tommy." She asked, and without a word he walked into the bathroom and closed the door.

Danielle could hear the shower running. She took off her skirt and blouse; leaving her slip, she put on the bathrobe Tommy had left for her in the flat. A few minutes later, he walked back in the room with nothing more than his briefs on. Though she was upset, her jaw dropped at the sight of him. His normally strong, dark demeanour was reflected in his chiseled physique and tattoo'd upper body.

"If you want me to stay, I'll stay."

"I want you to stay, Mr. Shelby," she sat up on the bed and extended her hands towards him. He then climbed back onto the bed, wrapping his arms around her, and together the pair drifted off to sleep.

Monday Morning

When Danny woke up she was still wearing her robe, and it wasn't until she opened her eyes and saw him there in bed with her that she remembered the events of last night. Though they had not had sex, something in their relationship had changed. It was as if a pattern of intimacy and pillow talk was now beginning to take shape, as was intended by the contract.

Danny realized that Tommy must have been awake before her, and yet he layed in bed, still as can be, in an effort to let her sleep with his arm still around her back. She turned onto her back, signally to Tommy that she was awake. "I don't hear them," he said.

"You don't hear what"

"There are no shovels beating against the wall," he replied.

Danielle was not sure how to respond to this. Breaking the silence, she watched him grab a cigarette off the bed side table with his free hand, and run the end of the smoke across his lips. Knowing he was likely stressed, Danielle knew it must be about the inspector.

"This copper takes no prisoners," She said.

He turned to look at her, "I'm told he didn't serve. Danny you served and you're a-"

She cut him off, "Is it another war you're looking for, Tommy?"

He stood from the bed, and put his pants on. "Remember, Danny, everything that happens now is extra, and nothing that happened before matters," he said, leaning down to kiss her.

"You know, Tommy, if you wanted to go out on a date with me, you could have just asked, you didn't need to write that blasted contract" she exclaimed jokingly.

He instantly stood up, and put on his button up shirt. "Don't forget that this is nothing more than a business transaction, love" he said coldly.

Danielle pulled the covers over her slip as he continued to dress. After he left, Danielle felt confused and embarrassed: did she make a mistake by kissing him? Is this not what he wanted? Was she crazy for thinking that Tommy had feelings for her outside of their arrangement? And if he didn't, why did he stay the night?

Little did the pair know, a copper across the way watched Tommy leave the young barmaids house that morning.

[lostinthewiind]

Forget Me Not: Part 1

Ushijima Wakatoshi, Sawamura Daichi, Bokuto Kōtarō, Oikawa Tōru, Kuroo Tetsurō - Haikyuu

Synopsis: five years after graduating high school, you're invited to Kiyoko and Tanaka's wedding and find yourself back in Japan. Surrounded by your old classmates and volleyball buddies once again, not only are old friendships rekindled, but old feelings start to resurface as well. Did five years change you and your friends too much, or did it change you all just enough?

Rating: PG13

Warnings: none

Next → Part 2

Being back in Japan filled you with a familiar, comforting feeling that spread throughout your entire body. The country where you had lived most of your life and been educated from kindergarten to high school in brought back childhood memories that you had not thought about in nearly five years.

And now, here you were, attending the wedding of one of your best friends, whom you hadn't seen in way too long, and surrounded by people who shaped your elementary and teenage years.

It wasn't until the reception that you got to actually catch up with your childhood friends, but the ceremony had certainly gotten you thinking. With the beautiful decorations strewn all over the venue and Kiyoko's breathtaking dress—and the way Tanaka teared up after seeing his future wife coming down the aisle—you had begun to wonder, as one who is still single would, if that would ever be you; all dressed to the nines and ready to devote the rest of your life to one person.

The fact that you were deep in thought must have been visible on your face because it wasn't long after that Kiyoko made her way over, gently placing her hand on your shoulder and asking if you were all right.

Startled out of your internal dilemma, you assured her that you were fine and just caught up with your own thoughts. "Sorry," you apologized with a lighthearted chuckle. "I didn't mean to make you worry about me at your wedding."

Taking a seat beside you at the rather empty guest table—more than happy to get off of her feet after Tanaka had been swinging her around the dance floor for hours—Kiyoko sighed contently and brushed off your concern. "Oh, please, make up something if you must." Kiyoko glanced over her shoulder at her new husband, who was currently preoccupied with something Noya was saying to him. "I need a break. If this is any indication of what the rest of my life is going to be like, I'm going to be eternally exhausted."

You laughed, having completely forgotten about what you had been thinking about. "You chose to marry the boy who spent all three years of high school chasing after you and you're surprised that he's over the moon 24/7?" You cocked a brow at her jokingly. "Don't say you weren't warned."

Kiyoko giggled at that and before long you and your best friend were laughing together just like when you were teenagers. It was like nothing had changed; like the two of you had been transported back in time five years.

"In all seriousness though, are you happy?" you asked her as you grabbed for your champagne flute and took a sip. "Because that's all that matters."

A light dusting of pink rose to Kiyoko's cheeks. "I'm ecstatic." She beamed as she looked back at Tanaka again. "I mean . . . that's my husband!"

"Good. I'm happy that you're happy."

Kiyoko nodded in agreement before turning back to you. "So, when is it going to be your turn?"

You thought about asking her what she could possibly be talking about but there was no fooling Kiyoko; she already knew that you knew. Not a week had gone by since you had moved away where she hadn't asked you if you had found yourself a man yet.

You just rolled your eyes. "I would have to be dating someone first in order to start thinking about getting married."

"Okay, so we start at the beginning." Kiyoko started surveying the gorgeous outdoor reception venue as if you didn't already know pretty much everyone who was there.

You scoffed. "I'm sorry, we?"

"You act like I haven't always been invested in your love life." She waved you off, never taking her eyes off of the bustling crowd. "Anyway, back to what I was saying . . . you need someone with a stable career, handsome, and, most importantly, someone that I approve of."

"Yes . . . most importantly." You took another sip of your drink and let your eyes scan the crowd as well, mostly because there wasn't much else for you to do. Eventually, your gaze settled on a table in the back corner where five men sat, engaged in a conversation with one another. It took you a few minutes to make out the face in the dim lighting, but when you did, you were immediately hit with a wave of nostalgia.

There, in a convenient group, as if they had all collectively been waiting for you to spot them, were five of your dearest friends from high school: the captains from the various boys' volleyball teams. Since you had been the captain for the girls' team at one of the rival schools, the six of you had started as acquaintances who bonded over being captains and soon grew into an inseparable friend group. The only person you had been closer to in high school was Kiyoko.

Sawamura Daichi, Ushijima Wakatoshi, Bokuto Kōtarō, Oikawa Tōru, and Kuroo Tetsurō.

They all looked just like how you remembered and yet you couldn't help but notice from afar the ways that they had matured over the past five years. You had been given a brief chance during the ceremony to say hello to them, and during that brief moment, you weren't ashamed to say you would admit they had all grown into handsome young men (not that any of them had been hard on the eyes in high school by any means.)

"Oh, so we're going for the classic 'high school reunion' trope." Kiyoko's face was suddenly right next to yours, startling you once again. "Which one are you looking at?"

Ripping your eyes away from the group of men who had thankfully not noticed your staring, you shook your head. "It's not like that," you sighed.

"Oh, yeah . . . okay." Kiyoko's tone was dripping with sarcasm. "That's fine, you don't have to choose right now. You could probably have whichever one of them you wanted anyway considering they all had a crush on you in high school."

It had been a big mistake to try and take your final gulp of champagne right then. As soon as you had heard what Kiyoko had said, you jolted in surprise and the alcohol went down the wrong way, causing you to begin coughing and sputtering rather loudly and aggressively.

Of course, that was when the five former captains turned to look at you after hearing the commotion. To be fair, a lot of eyes were on you then as you frantically reached for a napkin to dry the champagne that had spurted out of your mouth and Kiyoko patted your back comfortingly.

"Jesus," you managed to choke out. "Warn someone before you say something like that."

Kiyoko grabbed another napkin and began dabbing at the little wet spot on your dress. "You act like you didn't already know."

"I didn't already know."

Kiyoko looked up at you in shock, her hand ceasing all movement. Thankfully, she had pretty much dried your dress completely by then anyway. "What do you mean you didn't know?" she inquired quizzically, almost like she suspected you of lying.

"What do you mean they all had a crush on me?!" You remembered to lower your voice at the last second to avoid screaming such a personal conversation.

"How could you not have known?!" Kiyoko retorted with another question. "It was so obvious!"

"We were all just friends!"

"Just friends?!" A deep voice from behind you interrupted before you or Kiyoko could say another word. "You aren't talking about us, are you?"

You could pick that voice out of a lineup and consequently, your face turned bright red and you swallowed hard. Had he heard what you and Kiyoko had been talking about? How long had he been standing there?

Turning in your chair, you looked up at Kuroo, who was standing behind your chair, and the four other guys standing behind him; all of whom had apparently made their way over after witnessing your struggle with the champagne.

Before you had the chance to work out a suitable answer and attempt to explain away what you and Kiyoko had been discussing, Kiyoko stood from her chair and offered it to Kuroo, motioning for the group to sit down with you at the same time.

"Well, I'll leave you guys so you can all catch up." She smiled wide, throwing you a quick wink when no one else was looking. "I'm sure Tanaka will start searching for me soon anyway. I can only leave his side for so long before he starts causing chaos."

"Looks like the chaos has already started." Oikawa pointed to the head table where Tanaka was pouring liquor straight down Hinata's throat while Noya and Tendou counted the seconds out loud at the top of their lungs.

"Oh, good God." Kiyoko excused herself without another word, rushing across the room to put an end to her husband's antics. The six of you were left chuckling and watching as she snatched the bottle out of his hand and made quick work of reprimanding the men.

Shaking his head, Daichi sat down across from you while the other men took their seats as well. Having been the team captain of Karasuno and on a volleyball team with Tanaka for two years, he knew all too well what it was like to have to keep him in check constantly. "I will never understand how he suckered her into marrying him," he commented.

"Because love." You shrugged. "It makes you do stupid things."

Just then, a waiter came by and placed a fresh glass of champagne in front of each of you. "Ain't that the truth." Kuroo rose his glass and encouraged everyone else to do the same. "To love and other stupid things."

"To love and other stupid things," the remaining five of you repeated before clinking your glasses together and taking a sip of the bubbly alcohol.

Bokuto, who already seemed a little too tipsy for his own good, downed all of his in one go before scooting his chair closer to yours and throwing an arm over your shoulders. "So, tell us, what have you been up to?!" he chirped happily. "We all missed you when you left, you know."

After assuring Bokuto about four or five times that you had missed him as well, you gave the group of eager listeners the short version of what you had been up to since graduation. You explained your boring job and the fact that you played volleyball as often as you could. They asked about other aspects of your life as well, and when the topic of significant others came up, you shyly admitted that you were, indeed, still single.

"Hey, it's not like any of us can judge you for that," Ushijima told you. "None of us have anyone in our lives either."

Oikawa scoffed. "You make it sound like I'm hopeless."

"You are hopeless," Kuroo laughed. "You spent how many years in Brazil and still couldn't find a girl to date you? You moved to Argentina and still nothing. Doesn't that say anything?"

"Leave it to Oikawa to make it all about him," you commented, mindlessly taunting the setter like you used to do all the time when you were younger.

Your jab earned a few amused chuckles from the others and even Oikawa cracked a smile; and just like that, it was like you were back in high school with five of your closest friends, shooting the shit like you always did.

Before you knew it, the six of you were talking, laughing, and drinking the night away. Even Ushijima, who was usually the quiet one of the group, was participating more than you ever remember him doing so. The awkwardness from the first few minutes of interaction and the burning embarrassment of what Kiyoko had told you had melted away so seamlessly that you didn't even notice; suddenly you just found yourself comfortable and feeling rather at home.

Daichi told you about how his job as a cop was going and even shared a few exciting stories—stories that the others had clearly heard many times before if their bored expressions were any indication.

Kuroo talked about his job at the Japan Volleyball Association Sports Promotion Division, which he seemed to be thoroughly enjoying. You were kind of envious of him for managing to stay in the world of volleyball without actually having to keep playing.

Then, of course, Bokuto, Ushijima, and Oikawa discussed what it was like playing for the MSBY Jackals, the Schweiden Alders, and Club Atlético San Juan in Argentina, respectively. Oikawa, much like Daichi had been, was very excited to have someone new to tell his stories to—although his stories were about Argentina and not being a cop.

It made you feel a little sad when you realized just how distant you had grown from your friends and how much of their lives you had missed, but you had to admit that getting to play catch up was extremely entertaining.

After what felt like only twenty minutes or so, but was probably closer to two hours, the reception started winding down and guests started heading home for the night.

Pulled from the happy little bubble the six of you were existing in by the sudden realization that the party had a lot fewer people than you remember, you checked the time and noted that it was rather late.

Daichi, who had been oblivious to the rapidly passing time as well, muttered something about having to work the next day as he reached for his suit jacket that he had draped over the back of his chair at some point and started putting it back on, indicating that he was getting ready to leave.

Bokuto began to pout jokingly and tightened his hold on you, his arm never having left your shoulders the entire time. "You're not going home right away, are you?" he asked you, his wide eyes ready to guilt-trip you into staying longer should he need to. "You're staying in Japan for a while, right?"

"I'll be here for about two weeks or so," you told him, patting his cheek lightly and chuckling when his expression changed on a dime and he smiled wide. "Don't worry, I'm not abandoning you again so soon."

"Then we will have to get together for dinner or drinks or something," Kuroo suggested as he too stood from his seat. "Have you changed your number since high school?"

You shook her head. "Nope, it should be the same one you all have."

"Excellent!" Oikawa cheered. "I've got to head back to Argentina in a week or so as well so we definitely have to get together soon. I have first dibs!"

"Y/N is a person, not the last piece of food," Ushijima huffed. "You can't call dibs."

Oikawa just scoffed. "Sure I can, Toshi. I just did."

"I told you not to call me that."

The two professional volleyball players glared at one another and you wondered how it was possible that they stayed friends for so long, let alone became friends in the first place, considering they were always at each other's throats.

"Okay, you two, don't make me escort one or both of you home in a cop car tonight," Daichi warned. "I'm not in the mood to babysit."

"If I promise to behave, will you promise to use your handcuffs?" Oikawa winked, earning a few hushed chuckles and an obviously disappointed look from Daichi.

"Well, that's my cue to call it a night," Daichi announced as he made his way over to you and pressed a quick kiss to your cheek. "It was lovely seeing you again. I'll call you and we can do dinner sometime, yeah?"

You smiled and nodded. "I'd love to."

With that, Daichi took his leave and the others were soon to follow. Bokuto, who was the last to leave your side, had somehow swindled you into promising to play a volleyball game with him at some point before he bid you goodnight as well and left you to collect your thoughts before catching a cab and heading back to your hotel room.

On your way out, you thanked Kiyoko for inviting you and congratulated her and Tanaka on their marriage. They too insisted on getting together with you once more before you left and you happily agreed, already dreading having to leave your friends again.

As you climbed into your cab that evening, drunker than you had been in a long while and filled to the brim with joyous memories and content feelings after being reunited with so many old friends, you couldn't help but linger on one thought in particular . . .

The fact that all of your former captain friends had grown into handsome men with stable jobs, they were all single, and the startling new discovery that they apparently all had crushes on you in high school.

Did they still feel the same way? Or, more importantly, did you feel the same way?

[astro-rain]

delicate; b.barnes

chapter eleven - “there’s a reason behind everything”

delicate masterlist

word count: 2k

synopsis: bucky and y/n endure an event of stressful affliction, followed by something... entrancing.

pairings: bucky barnes x fem!reader

It had been a few days. There hadn't been any more headaches or vomiting. He was glad that Y/N faced no more impediments after that. However, he can't say the same for himself.

The thrashing was violent, his limbs wrenching, muscles tensing. The sheet beneath him was damp from cold sweat. He hadn't had a nightmare this bad in a while.

Ghastly memories assaulted him, ripping him from reality and forcing him back into agony, torture, and trauma. He could hear his heartbeat in his ears, but he wasn't sure if that was in the nightmare or real life. The lines of reality and dreamscape faded. He couldn't tell if he was awake, and panic metastasized throughout his body.

His arms were strapped down - yes, two of them. He couldn't tell if the other was metal or not; the only thing he could register was that he had zero control. He was exposed and helpless and right back where he was before. He had never gotten out. Hydra still had their chains around his neck, choking the humanity out of him, and violating his autonomy to make a monster out of a man.

He felt like a caged animal. All there existed was terror; he needed to get out and he didn't care if he had to cut off a body part to do it. He jerked his body and pulled his arms as hard as he could. He thrashed and thrashed, desperately trying to somehow find a way out of this hell. He tried to scream but his lungs were frozen, cracked and collapsed from the ice that they defiled him with.

Every nerve in his body was ignited, screeching to try to escape. The only coherent thought in his head was "get out." Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get—

The top of his head suddenly burned, pain radiating out in beats, like a heart rate. It was then when he realized he was awake. It was then when he realized he had flung himself up, causing his head to collide with the wooden slats of the top bunk. It was also at this point when he heard her voice.

"Bucky!" her voice shook intensely, worry bubbling from the back of her throat. "Oh my god."

Faintly, the fear in her voice registered somewhere in the back of Bucky's brain, but this had no effect on his entirely overstimulated nervous system. His reaction was visceral; he flinched hard, jolting away from Y/N and falling off the side of the bed. The floor was cold; he could feel it in his hand and knees as he knelt on all fours (all threes?) trying to catch his breath.

Y/N hurried around the bed and immediately dropped to the floor in front of him. Her hands were quivering in front of her, completely unsure of how he would react to being touched.

His eyes were glued to the floor beneath him, but in his peripheral he could see Y/N's legs. Suddenly, she knelt on her hands, trying to be as non-threatening as she could.

"Buck," she whispered. "It was a nightmare. It was just a nightmare. You're here, and you're just fine."

"Fuck," he whispered. His body was on fire; he wished it'd just calm down.

"Your hand's on the floor. What does the floor feel like?" she asked, in an attempt to detour his attention.

"Cold," he strained.

"Cold, yeah," she said. "Do you know why?"

He shook his head.

"It's because it's made of stone. Stone has a high thermal conductivity, which means it allows heat to flow through it quickly. The heat from your skin goes right into it and flows through really fast."

He pivoted his wrist slightly, smoothing the skin on his hand over the stone, feeling the cold, and thinking about what Y/N said.

She smiled slightly. "There's a reason behind everything, you know. An explanation."

"Even for this?" he asked, referencing the panic.

"Especially for this. What are you feeling right now?"

"Can't breathe."

"Yep. Okay, that's normal, too. That's your nervous system. It's really riled up right now because you're stressed. See, your body has a natural response to stress called the fight or flight response. It's supposed to be used in the wild to run from a predator or something, and you can imagine how engaging and intense that would be on your body," her voice was calm and steady. "The only thing is, your body is going through those same functions and feelings when you're not out running from a lion or something, trying to fight for your life. Instead, you're here. You're sitting on the floor and you're here with me. You're not in any immediate danger. We're fine."

He nodded, still looking down, still trying to compose himself. He couldn't look her in the eyes once he realized his face was wet from tears. He was acutely embarrassed. Be that as it may, she was helping. What she said made sense. It helped to understand just what his body was doing rather than simply trying to survive through it.

Suddenly, directly where his eyes were cast, a drop of crimson appeared on the floor; it dripped down from him. It was then when he registered the sharp ache in his nose and the warm, wet feeling around it. Blood.

"Bucky, there's- blood, are you okay?" The calm in her voice was muffled by worry.

"Y-Yeah, I'm... I'm fine. It's just my nose..."

"What can I do?"

"Can you just... keep talking?"

"Yes," she breathed, the calm returning with infinite softness. "So, there are a few divisions of the nervous system. First, you have the central nervous system and the peripheral nervous system. Then, from the peripheral, you have the somatic and autonomic systems. And then from autonomic, you have the sympathetic and parasympathetic systems. Those are what you're feelin' right now. Your sympathetic is what gets you ramped up - you know, increases in heart rate, breathing, sweating. And then your parasympathetic is what calms you down, so slowing your heart rate and breathing and so on. Your sympathetic activated the fight or flight response, and your parasympathetic is trying to rein you back in... I hope that makes sense."

"It does."

"You know the hormone that gets released during all this?"

"Adrenaline's the only one I can think of."

"There you go!" she smiled. "It comes from the adrenal glands."

"Can I get those removed, then?"

"Unfortunately not. Do you still have your tonsils?"

"Nah, got those taken out forever ago."

"Appendix?"

"I think I still have that one?"

She laughed. "Well that's good. The appendix is sorta kinda part of the lymphatic system."

"The what?"

"Er- immune system I mean."

"Never knew that," he commented.

"There's a reason behind everything, you know," she quoted herself endearingly.

"An explanation," he said, completing the sentiment and finally looking up.

Upon seeing his face, Y/N  tried to hide her shock and concern, but he noticed. The apprehension was clear. He didn't want to be pitied; he wished he would've just suffered through this alone in a hole or something.

"There you are," she whispered.

Her voice was so gentle that his chest almost cramped, and then his entire body softened. Never mind. He'd much rather stay.

"Here I am."

She reached forward, ever so delicately, and smoothed the pads of her thumbs along his cheeks, effectively wiping away the tears. Effectively removing the physical aftermath of his pain.

She gave a strained smile. Why did he feel bad?

"Stay here," she instructed before getting up.

He'd do nothing but comply.

She came back with a damp white cloth, returning to her kneeling position in front of him.

"Here," she breathed, putting the cloth up to his nose.

He reached up to grab it, but her hand pulled away.

"I got it," she reassured.

He wasn't about to allow her to clean up his mess. This was pathetic enough as it was; he was pathetic enough as he was. She didn't need to tend to him out of obligation.

He insisted. "No, it's okay. I can do it."

"Bucky, let me help. Please."

"You don't have to. Seriously, it's fine."

"I know I don't have to - I want to. I want to help. Please just let me help."

He found he wasn't very good at saying no to her. He nodded silently, closed his eyes, and leaned his head forward. She got to work, gently dabbing the cloth to his blood stained skin, blotting the red, erasing the damage.

"You know," she said, a slight inflection in her voice as a result of her concentration. "I think you accidentally hit yourself in your sleep. I think that's why you're bleeding. 'Cause your head hit the top bunk, not your face."

"I'm really that talented, huh?"

She snickered. "Very. I don't know if I could manage such a feat."

"No, if you had nightmares, you'd probably just know exactly what each one meant and adjust your subconscious so you weren't afraid anymore."

She leaned back, an amused but shocked expression on her face, eyebrows raised, head tilted. Then she laughed.

"Look at you. Came for my neck with that one."

"I was just joking-"

"I know," she chuckled, leaning back in to continue her diligent work, "don't worry. I thought it was funny... even though it was wrong."

"Wrong?"

"Bucky, I wish I had that much control. I know the brain, but I can't work with mine that well. I'm only good at working with other people's."

He smirked. "Nah, I still think you could."

"Well, you have too much faith in me."

He couldn't think of a response to that. He had become decently distracted by the warmth radiating from her. She was so close. He thought back to what she said about heat conductivity, and briefly wondered how fast her warmth might transfer to him. What would happen if he just... opened his eyes-

Big mistake. He nearly drowned in the color, the depth all consuming. He hadn't noticed her movements stopped. She held the cloth at her chest, waiting. There were mere inches between them.

"Hi," she whispered, the ends of her mouth turning up ever so slightly.

He didn't think his body had ever been so still. He returned the smile all the same.

"Hi."

"What are you thinkin'?"

He could see every detail on her face. It made him equal amounts nervous and giddy. He never really thought about the number of eyelashes an average person had, but he became suddenly interested in counting each one of hers.

"I don't... I don't know..."

"You don't know? Well, it looks like there's at least a couple of hefty thoughts swirlin' around in there."

He did have a thought. Well, more of a question. What would happen if he glanced at her lips? What would happen if he just leaned in?

"Yeah... yeah, there may be a few."

When she didn't respond, her eyes bore into him, and dear lord, he felt bare. Eye contact is a dangerous, dangerous thing. But lovely. Oh, so lovely. And then that thing started to happen again: when time got lazy and the world felt slow. The room was without a sound. The only thing he could hear was his own heartbeat and maybe some of hers, too. It's as if they were in a trance.

Then, that thought returned. What would happen if he just leaned in?  Rationally, he knew he shouldn't try to find the answer to that question. Nonetheless, curiosity beckoned him. Had the space between them become smaller? He couldn't tell. Not even an inch of their skin was touching the other, but every sensation and perception was so overwhelming, he thought his brain might fizzle out.

She was just so, so close. He was frozen, and never wanted to move again. She was so close, until suddenly she wasn't. Until suddenly, the trance stopped, time caught up, and the world began to move once more. Until suddenly, Y/N's serene smile disappeared, and she leaned back, awkwardly clearing her throat.

"Does your nose hurt? I can see if I can come up with a makeshift icepack or something."

"Uh, no. No, it's fine. I don't even feel it..."

He wondered which feeling he was denying.

delicate taglist: @bakugouswh0r3 @thefridgeismybestie

[juhakxyeon]

PROMPT LIST

RULES:

Three quotes (minimum) per requests along with three themes which two are optional.

You can request to do all three genres (angst/smut/fluff) or two or one.

Status is the only theme that is required

Reblogs for use are accepted! Just please give credit and do not steal.

EXAMPLE:

Angst #7, Smut #13, Fluff #1. Midnight Skies (Other two (Event and Identity) are optional) then continue to explain a breif plot if you want to or not

Angst #12 & #2. Solar moon (engaged)... etc

-> GROUPS I WRITE FOR <-

ANGST

"Don't ever- And I mean ever, tell me what to do!"

"You really want to do this in front of your friends?"

"Look at me and say it again."

"I'm not going to say sorry."

"What have you ever done for me? Huh?"

"No, I don't want this baby."

"You said 'its you and me against life' and now your here fucking another person!"

"This is my house you don't get to tell me what I should and should not do here."

"I'll shoot him/her if you take another fucking step! Don't push me!"

"I didn't want you, I never did!"

"You can't blame me. I told you not to fall for me, but you did... And now we're going in an endless miserable cirlce."

"Touch me one more time and I promise you, you won't see the light of day."

"Unlock the door, goddamn it."

"Fuck you. Im not a slut you can call all hours of the day."

"If I didn't I wouldn't be here!"

"I was the one who fixed the pieces not you."

"Am I okay? That's the question you ask."

"I have never asked you.. But I'm asking you now..."

"It was never about her/him! You were just so selfish and jealous to notice!"

"I'm sorry I know I'm late." "You're always late."

STATUS (REQUIRED)

Midnight skies: Married

Summer nights: Dating

Thoughtless words: Friends/Best Friends

Silent sounds: Death

Solar Moon: Other...

SMUT

"Two fingers not enough?"

"Open your mouth for me."

"Count with me."

"I want you in me so bad."

"How bad do you want it baby?"

"You're not cumming until you're screaming my name."

"Look at me as I fuck you senseless."

"You still want to play games when you can play me."

"Who said you can look this good for them?"

"You're so wet for me, how long have you waited?"

"Look at you being such a good girl/boy and waiting for me."

"You still in there, baby? Or did I fuck you out of this world?"

"No... I want them to hear how good I/you make you feel."

"Cum for me."

"Rubbing yourself already?"

"You have to be extra quiet, okay?"

"I want to ride you with my hand around your throat."

"Shower sex?"

" You don't have to pay me, I just want to give you a well deserved blow job."

"Say it again and I'll have you begging for me."

EVENT (OPTIONAL)

White Daisy: Public Outing

Purple Blossoms: Movie Night In

Yellow Roses: Master Bedroom

Blue Lilies: Dinner with the Parents

Red Tulips: Other...

FLUFF

"So... Is that a no?"

" Can I have a hug?"

"What do you mean I can't dance? I can dance, watch."

"Cuddles are required upon entering!"

"I wasn't asking, you're getting kisses as reward."

"You can't do that." "Yes, I can."

"That's our baby, we made that."

"How can a person fall in love so fast?"

"I'm not good with words, but know I'm here to listen whenever you call."

"3 kisses and counting!"

"If I scream at the top of my lungs to the whole school that I like you, will you go out with me?" " I-."

"Why did you do that? Are you crazy?" "Crazy for you."

I'm taking you to dinner and you can't stop me."

"Baby I'll buy you all the stars" " Don't. I'll marry you with or without them."

"What about a car date?"

"Should I be scared?" "What? Of course no- Yes."

"I never asked for any of this! I just wanted a popsicle."

"Whenever you think of me, just call my name and I'll be there."

"Pick a song and that'll be ours forever."

"I-I love you."

IDENTITY (OPTIONAL)

Strayberry Milk: Angel

Lemon La Croix: Demon

Bloody Mary: Vampire

Mango Passionfruit: Quirk (Powers)

Cosmopolitan: Other...

[frustrated-writer-skyeknight]

Inside the author's mind...

How I write my rarepairs...

Maybe some of you have realized it by now, but I really have a thing for rarepairs. How did I decide how I wanted to write their relationship dynamic? And not just necessarily for Fairy AU, but the other times I write them. (These other times including WIPs)

I picked a characteristic in them and play it up.

Jim is a rebel, and has a lot of angst. Thinking about how this would play up in a relationship dynamic, I thought that he would be reserved. Like, he wants to believe that Dimitri really is into him. But he's safeguarding himself to save himself from getting too hurt if the relationship blows up in smoke, since he has daddy issues and fears someone just leaving out of the blue. If not for that, he would scream at the top of his lungs how much he actually adores Dimitri.

As for Dimitri, I know he doesn't seem like the sweet type especially at the first few parts of the movie; he's obnoxious, somewhat arrogant, and makes himself to be perceived as a 'know-it-all.' ("I make it my business to know.") But I think about his shift when he starts falling for Anastasia. He teases her less, he picks on her less. And he's just... Thinking about her. I would even bet that he's had a little crush on the Princess when he was still a servant boy at the palace, sneaking out of the kitchen, and taking a peek, not of the festivities, but little Anastasia bonding with her grandmother. Or just Anastasia. He's a boy though, so I bet he would've teased her a lot if he didn't have to worry about disrespecting a royal and getting punished. That said, I usually write Dimitri immediately getting attracted to Jim, even when it's just for fun at first and nothing serious. In my Sinbad AU, I wrote him as a bit of a flirt to portray the obnoxious side of him, plus during the number of "You can learn to do it too" when he kissed Anya's hand as a tease, I wouldn't doubt he's flirted with some ladies to hustle and con them off their money. Then after, during the Sinbad fic, and I develop JiMitri more, I write Dimitri as more dedicated to making sure Jim was safe while he was onboard the ship during the trials they went through until both of them just fully started liking each other.

For Astrid, I haven't watched Httyd 3 but I did watch the first movie as well as the sequel, plus some episodes from the series. While she is a feisty, and not a typical damsel-in-distress love interest, her romantic side is also a big part of her. That's why I didn't make her a Scout fairy in my Fairy AU. I didn't want her combat side to be the most highlighted side of her in my fanfic, though as an Icicle fairy, I did make one scene when she creates an icicle to use as a weapon against Jack who was starting to annoy her. Instead, the side I chose to focus on is her sense of responsibility, as portrayed in Httyd 1. But also, willingness to break rules to help protect people she cares about and defend them while she's at it, like how she went after Hiccup when Hiccup flew off when Berk was going on a lockdown even when Hiccup didn't tell her to come with, and actually gave her a good bye kiss. I doubt he was surprised when she went after him, though. That said, I played up this side of her, with her willingness to go off into danger so she could do her part in looking after her friends especially Jamie. There hasn't be an opportunity yet since Jamie and Astrid haven't had much highlighted scenes, except for a brief moment (that you gotta be looking for it to find it I guess), but it's coming up, and I want her affectionate, romantic side displayed at that moment.

Jamie is the hardest character to write, especially since it's aged up Jamie so practically an OC, in a way. I have never read any Jack x Jamie fics either, so writing Jamie in a romantic relationship is still mostly trial and error for me. But I have written him a bit on my Sinbad AU, when he and Hiccup were supposedly engaged. So to cater to the way I wanted to write Astrid, I also made him a romantic type with some teasing squeeze in when the situation fits it. Definitely not as feisty as Astrid, as shown in his movie he needed to be the one to be protected (cause he was a kid, I know, but humor me here.) But in that one point in ROTG, I knew that when it truly called for it, Jamie wouldn't hesitate making a stand. As someone in a relationship, he would also do his part in protecting his partner, but he will also believe (since that's his thing in the movie too, being a believer of the impossible) in his partner to be able to handle herself and duh, because this is Astrid we're talking about. Even though he believes she can handle herself, it doesn't mean he would let her do it alone. If he can support her in any way, that's what he'll do.