#WHAT AM I SUPPOESD TO DO WITH THIS INFORMATION

[kalique]

“I HAVE THE FIRST CHAPTER OF A NEW BARTIMAEUS NOVEL” CHOMPING BITING SCREAMING CLAWING FLAILING THRASHING TEARING AND RENDING MY GARMENTS WITH MY CLAWS

[scarefox]

I need to write down the timeline of Zouey and Nant + Phop. Might edit this post along my rewatch:

Zoueys Birthday, 18. September 2023:

Zouey started to have a crush on Jason, they started chatting in September

the guys pestered Nant about his virginity too, so Nant didn't start sleeping with the playboyys and taking drugs yet either

nothing happened at that time yet but:

"Why do I have to go all the way back to last year? That's when it started"

April:

2024 or 2023 ?? (since Thai New Year is in April, April 2024 still counts as "last year" from a 2024 pov I guess)

The circumstances are still foggy here. (That said I am glad we didn't have to see that scene on screen). But I need more information how sentence 1 and sentence 2 are relevant to each other. Also how they got from texting to meeting. Zouey told Teena that he tried to have sex with someone but it didn't end well. Is that what happened or was it a "different version" he told Teena. (before someone asks, yes it's relevant for the plot and characterization)

Zouey is mad and disappointed at Jason (but as we know still has a crush on him)

Nant was the only one knowing about it "that's the reason he couldn't stay"

Nant is in debt

after taking Soongs drugs, nobody wanted to help him with he got involved with Nuth and drug dealing

so we are talking about him being in debt with Jason for throwing out his drugs to not get busted by the cops

might there be an ulterior motive of Nant to use this to get Jason behind bars so he doesn't have to pay the debt anymore?

not saying he wouldn't have exposed him anyways but it's convenient

Nant asked Zouey to come out as witness

-> him as witness sounds a bit as if there are more... well we audience know later about Porsche. But did Nant know? Could be possible since Nant and Porsche lived together before the others joined and they seemed close then according to Porsche. Yet something happened that Porsche is pissed at him. Porsche didn't seem to know that Nant wanted to expose Jason... or did he? (side note: Zouey did not know about Porsche being Jasons "sugar baby" / other victim, if we believe his surprised reaction in ep11)

Zouey didn't want Nant to expose Jason / what happened to Zouey, so he suggested Nant to fake his suicide instead to get out of the debt

Nants fake suicide & the time Nant went missing

Nant came back home to see Zouey & packed his stuff to go abroad after the video was done

Zouey told Jason to kidnap Nant for whatever warped messed up crush feelings he still has for this man

Nant was in the VIP room of Playboyy, held by Jason the whole time

assuming the party of episode 1 is Zoueys birthday again? So we start episode 1 around 5 months later after he got raped by Jason and Nant disappeared?

Nont arrives to investigate Nants disappearance

Zouey frees Nant from the VIP room (because Nont is sniffing around)... when Nant asks Zouey why he is here, Zouey refuses to answer:

Zouey apologizes.... for not being there sooner (.... bruh)

(internal voiceover from future ep14 Zouey "I am sorry Nant, I am the reason you're dead")

Zouey knows the whole time Nont is Nants twin... or maybe only after Nont revealed it in ep4?

Zouey refuses any of Nants question and is in a hurry to get Nant out / away from there

oh okay so that's way after ep4 then... after ep8 (fits with the Phop incident) that's when Nuth shows Nont the suicide clip

so Zouey didn't know till around ep8 where Nant was but he knew Jason got him since he was the one telling Jason... but how did he find out now

Zouey wants him to keep playing dead, even to his brother

Zouey got a ticket for Nant to the states via his mom, Nants & Nonts dad lives in the states

Zoueys mom was suppoesd to send a driver to pick up Nant the next day

Zoey doesn't want Nant to see Nont in fear Jasons men would find out

at least that bastard man wasn't present when Nant was in that room the whole time.. maybe. we don't know when he left Thailand

Zoey wants Nant to wear Zoueys clothes so he won't be noticed by other people in Playboyy lounge

seeing how different Zouey is dressed as well... maybe you have to look a bit more rich and fancy to be allowed in?

... look at him feeling guilty then when Nant hugs him and tells him that Zouey is always treating him the best. WHILE simultaneously we hear ep14 Zoueys guilty voiceover to that image, knowing that Nant indirectly got killed because of his stupid plan. PLUS this is just a few moments away from Nant getting killed by Phop.

Phop kills Nant in ep8

after Nuth tells him this

which happens after Nont held them both at gun point

after Nuth reveled the suicide video and the issues he had with Nant

but I don't think Phop recognizes Nant, since he wears a mask when they run into each other

it cut's back to the talk with Nuth, Phop promising him that he's not losing the drugs

Phop is shocked when he takes Nants mask off at the end, so he did not know it was him (or he didn't expect him to die) ... he just didn't want to get busted or robbed... I mean Nant does look shady here

News announced that Nants body was found

at the end of ep9

he was found naked in a forest near Rangsit, had been dead for 48 hours

side note Teena x Zouey

Zouey finally agrees to have sex (all the way) with Teena at the end of ep7 (did he know then that Jason comes back soon?). After Zouey confesses him that he is his muse and that Teena is the only one allowed in his art room. Teena is not as perfect as the image Zouey has in his head but he likes him despite that. (lets hope Zouey doesn't compare Jason & Teena 🤐). It was very unusual of Playboyy to not show their sex scene here despite it being a long awaited moment for the characters (and audience). They witheld Jump x Porsches first time too. We only saw that when it became relevant later in a flashback to define their relationship dynamic. I wonder if the Teena x Zouey scene will be revealed in the continuation / special / season 2 ... We got to see later sex scenes between these two after that. Where Zouey is more dominant, tho he did show some of that already earlier in ep7 during their art picnic.

Jason is back in ep10

Zouey please, dear, your obsession is showing (+ you have a boyfriend) 😭

we see mesmerized Zouey vs frowning nervous Porsche both watching Jasons speech.....

we learn from Porsches voiceover that Jason gives out scholarships and big projects to the best students

he gives the students opportunities for big projects and takes the credits for it

"if he likes someone, they get chosen to work for him after graduation." (this line paired with focus on Zoueys face)

Zouey got a scholarship here, he's happy talking with Jason

Jason tells him to drop the formal talk with him when they talked alone

they talk about Zoueys art exhibition he got the opportunity for now

(the music gives a shady vibe to the scene)

Teena x Zouey popcorn scene is the next time we see Zouey

later this shifty talk with Nont

hmmm :) oh well I feel like Nont became Zoueys new secret worst enemy to his dream

... could he be behind Nonts kidnapping? :) maybe trying the same thing again he did with Nant, now that it worked so well with Jump and Porsche :) Zouey please, that's not the way.

Zoueys art exhibition is his big dream

back then we thought he wants to do the exhibition in Jasons office for investigation reasons but nah... that's actually the opposite of what he wants. He's kind of a double agent here. Zouey wants the investigation to stop so his scholarship and exhibition doesn't get endangered (which is linked to Jasons goodwill.. affection). When Zouey is shocked about the reveal between Porsche and Jason, his first question to Porsche is "What you said isn't true, right? Your adoptive father doesn't sleep with you, right? He doesn't hurt you, right?"

Now is this actual worry for his friend or also worry for himself and his plans?

He desperately needs this exhibition to happen for some reason. Presumably to impress someone? To prove it to someone or to himself? His parents? Maybe Jason? (Aob is / was the same with Jason, his obsession to be number 1 in Playboyy. Might be a manipulation thing Jason does, to make people fall in love with him to make them do what he wants). With Porsches earlier voiceover about the opportunity to work with Jason, we constantly saw Zouey beaming up at him. Indicating that this might be his goal.

Later Zouey tells Jason that he wants the exhibition theme to be nudes but Jason smiles and says that's not working with the schools image.

In ep14 we see Zouey having beef with Den the school director, also about the theme of the exhibition being nudes and not "deep enough" for the schools image.

Zouey & Jasons private interactions ep11

do make a lot of sense btw. I saw some confused comments, I am too, that's why I do this rewatch. but looking at it all together, it makes sense

they both know what happened, they act as if nothing bad happened

Zouey has extreme respect for Jason, is intimidated by him even but still has a crush on him AND his future depends on this man (big ass power imbalance and abuse if we ever saw one)

bet Teena will be the one who reveals this mess if we get a sequel because he sees all of that, knows Zoueys issues with sex

Later we have this interaction between Jason and Zouey, also very in character and plot. When Zouey once again asks about a nude exhibition. Jason asks if Zouey will be the model. But Zouey is the artist not the model.

.... because he knows his naked body .....................

makes Zouey immediately more uncomfortable

Zouey snapping because of Captain and First intentionally (nonconsensually) hurt people during sex

this is a weird thing to say when Nant was the only one knowing about Jason and him. Maybe he slipped here, projected again like in ep1. Or maybe there is more we don't know yet but the baddie bunch knows about. Maybe that wasn't about Jason.

I mean with this mean ass cliffhanger they left us sitting in the finale, there is definitely still some stuff left open for Zouey...

[madeofsplinters]

Playlist Notes: “Strike Me Down; I Am Unarmed”

Continuing my series - I’m gonna write “liner notes” for all my fic playlists eventually.

Listen along: [Spotify | YouTube]

Fic for this playlist is “Strike Me Down; I Am Unarmed” on AO3. If you haven’t read the fic, be aware this does not work as a general character playlist for Vader or Tarkin (or Daala, who also gets a few songs); it’s specifically a playlist describing the events of this particular AU fic.

Halestorm - The Reckoning

You made a mess outta me Where do I begin? You'll pay for your sins

We don't ever see Vader killing Palpatine onscreen in this story, but this story is all about Vader having killed Palpatine, so I couldn't resist starting with my favorite Revenge Song...

Billie Eilish - bellyache

My V is for Vendetta Thought that I'd feel better

The story actually begins with Vader waking up in his tank, beginning to recover from the injuries he sustained mid-revenge. His triumph hasn't fully sunk in, and he's confused, ill, and generally a mess. Wasn’t this big, dramatic revenge supposed to solve everything?

Billie Eilish - you should see me in a crown

Watch me make 'em bow One by one by one

It's a total gimme! It's on everyone and their dog's villain playlist already! Am I putting it on my villain playlist anyway? Heck YES. (In my original brainstorming notes for this story, when it talks about Tarkin having to wear Imperial robes now instead of his military uniform, it literally just says "you should see me in a crown dot gif")

Poppy - Fill the Crown

You can be anyone you want to be You can be free, you can be free

This is the song for the earlier chapters of the story, where Vader is blundering around trying to figure out how to be Emperor, while knowing in the back of his mind that Emperor and Sith Master is not actually what he wants to be. The sheer cognitive dissonance of this song is lovely - one voice promising a bright, happy future, much like Tarkin's optimistic view of what's in store for Vader now, while the other one meanders in and out promising atrocities and pain.

DIAMANTE - Sleepwalking

I feel you in my dreams You're everywhere, you won't go easily

Vader, dreaming of Palpatine's ghost.

laye - likefck

Wantin' you is evil When it's hard to have you here

This song is about the loneliness of a long-distance relationship with a wealthy, powerful, neglectful man. I heard it at just the right (wrong?) time, so now it's Daala's song, while she’s exiled to the Maw Cluster and waiting for a word from Tarkin. (But of course, in this fic, she isn't going to stay there...)

Icon For Hire - Supposed to Be

I fear now There's not much left of me When you take the sick away Who am I supposed to be?

The sheer dissonance of Vader trying to be Emperor inevitably leads to a mental breakdown. Now that Palpatine is gone, the natural impulse is to recover somehow from the things Palpatine did to him. But when evil and sickness are as thoroughly baked into someone's life as they are into Vader's, what does recovery even look like? Where do you begin?

Evanescence - Imperfection

I'm gonna save you from it Together we'll outrun it Just don't give into the fear

Tarkin comforting Vader during his mental breakdown, promising they'll fight the ghost that haunts him together. This song is probably too effusive and out of character for Tarkin but I just love it so much. (Spotify informs me that it was my #1 most-listened-to song during the hellyear of 2020.) That little growl on the "don't you dare surrender" in the last chorus. Fuck yes. Fave.

Beth Crowley - Empire

So fear me or love me It's all the same

This song was supposed to be about Game of Thrones, but too bad, it's mine now and it's Tarkin's song (as he sorts through Palpatine's effects and resolves to be an even better Emperor than his predecessor.)

Little Mix - Monster In Me

Why don't we kill each other slowly? What can I say? Baby, what can I do? The monster in me loves the monster in you

Most of these songs give a particular character's perspective at a particular time, but this one is the theme song of the whole, sad, evil polycule. <3

Halsey - Strange Love

And everybody wants to know 'bout how it felt to hear you scream They know you walk like you're a god, they can't believe I made you weak

This song works pretty well for Daala processing some thoughts about Tarkin, the secrecy and scandal and power imbalance of their relationship now that it's become something they can talk about in public, and what she does or doesn't owe to anyone involved.

DIAMANTE - Ghost Myself

If I could build a fire and burn down my life That would be the one thing I got right

Vader's suicidal ideation, set to a catchy beat. ("Ghost," used as a verb here, is already suppoesd to be a pun but considering the role of Palpatine's ghost in this story, it's now a triple entendre. Wheeee.)

In This Moment - The Beginning - Interlude

I am the moon and the sun that you bask in I am the name written on your grave

Just a creepy little overture as the characters approach Exegol and prepare to deal with whatever spooky Sith Ghost bullshit they find there. Vader’s ghost, whispering to him.

Delain - Masters of Destiny

I am the dreamer I roll the dice and I'm alive My hands aren't tied

This song and the next two make sort of a trio in my head, all intertwined with each other, all taking place at almost entirely the same moment, or at least in the same scene. In terms of what order Vader figures things out in the story, maybe it should go later; but in terms of making the trio work musically, when I listen to it in order, it goes first. This song is Vader feeling trapped by destiny and by the plans that have been made for him, only to finally realize he isn't trapped at all.

Beast In Black - Unlimited Sin

Swallowed by blind rage Once pure, now bloodstained Evil flows through your black veins

This is, obviously, The Palpatine Song. (UnLiMiTeD pOwEr!!111) It's goofy as fuck. It makes me giggle and bounce around. It almost doesn't belong in this playlist because of how goofy it is. But, even if Palps himself turns out to be really and truly dead, this is the part of the story where Vader comes face to face with his legacy and his impact on Vader's life. And I think the goofiness... sort of works, in a weird way. Even when he is rightfully dead and gone from the narrative, chances are good, Sheev Palpatine is still cackling at you.

In This Moment - Roots

I'm stronger than I ever knew I'm strong because of you

"Songs where women thank their abusers for toughening them up" is an entire genre and I have extremely mixed feelings about it, but In This Moment's approach is sufficiently ambivalent and angry that it works for me. This is Vader coming to terms with his feelings about Palpatine. He'll never not be someone who was shaped by what Palpatine did to him, even with Palpatine dead. But he can claim a strength and a freedom and even a defiance within that.

Lauren Jauregui - Invisible Chains

Keep running, on my way, I can see the light Got a hundred miles left and I'm feeling like I might stay alive

Closing credits. This is a song about working through trauma and mental illness and at last finding a glimmer of hope, and it's the soft little heart of this story. That last cry of "I already saved myself," like it's a revelation to the singer as well as the listener. God I just love it.