#WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK CDC?!

[merelygifted]

The CDC ends its policy of the five-day isolation and lumps guidance with those for other respiratory pathogens

On Friday, the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) issued new guidelines urging people who are actively infectious with COVID-19 to return to schools and workplaces, thereby infecting their coworkers and the general public.

Under the guidelines, workers are encouraged to return to work 24 hours after their last fever, a period in which the vast majority of COVID-19 patients will be actively infectious.

This guidance has no basis whatsoever in public health. It has two fundamental aims. First, it seeks to ensure that workers show up on the job even as they pose a major safety threat to their co-workers and customers, in order to create profits for large corporations.

Second, and no less important, by allowing COVID-19 to spread uninterrupted, the US government, speaking on behalf of the financial oligarchy, is seeking to reduce life expectancy and create the conditions for the early deaths of older Americans and immunocompromised people.

The CDC’s policy change is being implemented under conditions in which COVID-19 is circulating at a higher level than at the same time during any previous year of the pandemic and under conditions in which all restrictions on the spread of the virus have been dropped. Due to the ending of all pandemic surveillance after the Biden administration scrapped the COVID-19 public health emergency declaration last May, the circulation of COVID can now only be seen through wastewater data.  ...

This is absolutely fucking appalling!

[chefkids]

What do you think of the s3 episode titles and synopsis? (Spoilers from the bear subreddit) because I'm nervous seeing it especially with the episode 9 (which is alluding to carmy apologizing to claire?) And the last episode claire is his forever? Sorry, I'm just panicking.

I think the first episode will just be about Carmy getting out of the fridge and then jump right into the funeral.

This will be about them going back to the kitchen, Carmy setting up his non negotiable list and proposing a marriage partnership agreement to Syd.

This is just going to be their incredible dysfunctional toxic workplace. Everyone is going to be so sick of them.

Marcus gets his groove back. Maybe Luca comes over this ep? I think Marcus is going to prove to be the only stable and consistent member actually putting out good creative dishes meanwhile Syd and Carmy spiral.

This actually about me. I'm children. I'm chefkids. I think it's about money, Unc treating everyone like they're stupid kids burning through his pockets. Which they kind of are. I think it's also about the responsibility of having a million people to take care of with the staff. Mom and Dad (Syd and Carmy) are gonna have to step up for their kids. Also about the stars and the odds of getting them with how their reviews have been going.

I think this is going to be a flashback episode of what happened after Fishes, Mikey telling Carmy he needs to leave and cutting him off for The Beef, and Carmy going to New York and beginning his toxic path.

By this point Sydney is going to be so sick of Carmy and his rules and the system. She's going to meet the CDC of Ever and start to seriously consider a life outside of The Bear.

I think by this will be mostly about Nat and her baby, although I do think she would have given birth by this point. But I also think this could be when Fak tries to bring Claire back because he think she can fix him and stop his spiral. I think Richie is going to force Carmy to talk to Claire here.

This going to be when Carmy realizes how bad he has been fucking up and tries to fix things with Sydney. He knows she is considering leaving and that other people want her. And I think he'll also see his mom again and apologize for not being there when Mikey died and I think Donna will apologize to him for everything she's ever done.

Sydney is going to have to choose between The Bear and Ever. Carmy will be have to make a final plea for her. I think she will pick him, and I think he will tell her how he feels about her and that he was just trying to do everything for her because he loves her.

[aropride]

if the zombie apocalypse happened today everyone would panic for like 10 minutes and then the cdc would be like "consider not getting too close to each other and watch for signs of someone being undead" and people would do that for like 2 days (aside from your weird conservative uncle who won't stop talking about how he won't do what the government tells him) and then the government would be like "actually it's totally safe for you to go to work! and the store too of course" and everyone (including ur weird uncle) would go "okay the zombie apocalypse is over now! the government said so!" and people would be getting bitten and infected all over the place and go "it's not even that bad it's like the flu" while slowly having their mind taken over by the zombie virus and then they'd start biting people to prove how it's not that bad and then we would all fucking die. and the whole time there would be fox news broadcasts about how this is just a distraction by the radical communist democrats so you don't find out about the transgenders teaching your 5 year old children about bdsm.

(ID: a green banner reading in all caps: "this post is not about zombies. this is a metaphor for covid and how many people have given up doing even the bare minimum to protect disabled people". there are simple drawings of a surgical mask and red bacteria in the top left and bottom right. end ID)

[pawsitivevibe]

What the actual fuck CDC??!?

Massive hit to the breeding community. No importing puppies from Canada or internationally ... Big hit for Canadian breeders who regularly home puppies to the US. I personally know a lot of Americans who got Canadian puppies but uh yeah nope can't do that anymore!

Also like. Want to take your puppy on vacation across the border? For a cottage weekend? Sorry too bad!

Man it's going to be such an annoying paperwork headache just to take my dog camping in the Adirondacks. Maybe we'll just stay in Canada for that instead.

Just yikes.

[yannaryartside]

Shapiro’s angle

I don't think this guy is bad news, or a bad guy per se.

I think he is just an opportunist. And I think he is doing this mostly for himself.

I may be wrong, but for me, the most on-the-nose foreshadowing about Shapiro was Luca telling him:

"Are you getting your sticky fingers on everything again?"

This was right before he asked to talk to Sydney (about the partnership) at Ever's funeral. It was definitely a sign.

Now, it could be a warning about his bad intentions; sticky fingers could be related to wanting to trap someone and never let them go. Maybe Syd should have Pete revise that new partnership agreement.

Mostly, I have a hard time thinking Andrea Terry would have a CDC that was actually toxic or damaging; his true colors would have shown at some point, and she would have known. Maybe that's me being optimistic. Maybe he would show his actual colors when he doesn't have to answer to anybody. Luca hasn't seemed to get awful vibes from him, either.

FINGERPRINTS OF LEGACY

But I associate the sticky fingers comment more with Shapiro wanting to get a "fingerprint" on Sydney. The way a fingerprint may alter the presentation of a fine ceramic plate. Is about marking it as yours, it was in your hands.

Shapiro may think that he has gotten as good as he can get on his own merit, he said he would have stayed with Andrea forever if she hadn't closed Ever, which is a remark on his lack of ambition as a cdc. I think he may be a chef who (also, as he said) is tired of the all-day cooking job, but he still wants to get some glory under his name without all the work. Proteges are a good way to do that.

The only thing about Sydney he knows that could indicate her potential (besides her cooking, which he only tested once) is that she works for Carmen. Carmen has been awarded the best in the world, and the fact that he sees something in Sydney may be enough for Shapiro to bet on her (and a huge bet, considering how much freedom he promised her). Now, what kind of mentor would he be? I would like to think he will try to be Andrea and see where it gets him.

He may have seen the bear's kitchen's obvious lack of functionality and seen it as an opportunity to steal Carmy's best asset from him while she is still unknown by the industry. She could become more expensive to get in the future if she gets a name under Carmen. Shapiro has better chances to get her now. He may even say in the future that he was the only one capable of forming her like a chef while Carmy didn't.

So yeah, he is making a bet on an unknown asset with the hope that it will pay off later since Carmys is not looking. We don't know much about his character besides the fact that at Ever, everyone was cool with him.

I DON'T WANT SYDNEY TO FAIL OR GET SCREWED

Besides how much I care for her—I know it sounds obvious—I don't think it would be a good narrative for the show either way.

Because she has survived Carmy, that has been horrible, but in terms of women in the workplace, at least she doesn't have to worry about being exploited (or other horrible things that we know could happen in these spaces) because Carmy cares about her well-being, the same as the rest of the family.

So, if she hypothetically goes with Shapiro because her voice is being drowned under Carmy's madness, and then Shapiro screws her over, and Carmy has to rescue her.

I am sorry, fuck that.

Because what is the lesson on that? Women should stick around toxic behavior, being grateful that at least they are not taken advantage of? Better the devil you know than the one you don't? Sydney is very capable, and you will punish her for believing in herself?

image by @gingergofastboatsmojito

[gingergofastboatsmojito]

Why Luca and not Shapiro

You know what I was thinking, Sydluca truthers? If Syd accepts Shapiro’s offer AND gets a taste of Luca 😍 who is Carmy’s healed/sane version, like I mentioned here, Carmy won’t get to see them together, so what’s the point? I don’t wanna miss out on jelly Carmy! That kinda behavior would be such a gem on him! Give it to me!

Luca has to be his “who’sClaire?” Carmy has to give us his “I’m saying goodnight! moment”, which I’m guessing won’t be this elegant:

And Syd can’t keep on quitting every other season, C’mon! This time around she has to stay and cheat on her work husband, not leave him. She has to play it differently and stay close enough to Carmy for him too see her happy with someone else and suffer. That’s how we all win.

He will suffer if she leaves, of course, but it’ll be a clean cut. Not torture. Every day, seeing her with someone that can actually, make her willingly wanna leave him (unlike Shapiro that feels like pulling teeth to her). Someone like Luca that can take her away from him and succeed exactly at what he failed. And this is not an assumption, as many anti-Carmys are fantasying about with Shapiro. This is factual. We have already seen Luca in action in the kitchen and in life and even under stress, and he told us how he was under stress too. We know enough about him already not to have to guess how he would be like and whether or not he is Carmy 2.0. He’s not. He’s totally different, has a different energy.

So far what we know for sure about Shapiro is that he went to the restaurant and may or may not be linked to the review, as @berzattohugs points out here 🔗

and might be a bit “shady” as @unladyboss clocked here 🔗. And I wanna point out something else about him: Chef Terry is Future Syd, is her character’s progression, what Syd can and will become in the future. Chef Terry is Chef Shapiro’s Platonic partner, not his Syd bc she’s platonic and we all know that Syd and Carmy are not, I mean there is a sexual tension element with Sydcarmy that is just not there with Shaperry (yes, I just made that name up) BUT what is there between them is that she can keep him in line. We don’t know what Shapiro will be like off her leash and with more power, a power he probably always wanted, as under Chef Terry’s wing he was stuck as an eternal CDC, never EC, never owner, he was comfortable there, yes but being the go-getter and ambitious character he is, there’s no way that being EC never crossed his mind and he had to swallow the hard pill of never getting there. And lastly, we know this:

My point is: In this context Storer gave me this season I want torture! Not Carmy’s demise. I want him to suffer and have the chance to change and redeem himself, while she’s still around and then I want her to have to choose between 2 sexy chefs, not a hot piece of shit and Fuck you, Garrett!. Call me crazy.

Bonus track: I do appreciate that at least Syd gave Shapiro her real number though 🤭 that’s enough. Give all the rest to Luca, Syd. We got you.

Remember to follow my tag #Gingerpovs 💋

[claraswritings]

I love Can I be the one- for Luca’s timeline, how do you think he’d propose? Would it be quick as they’re childhood friends or would he want the slow dating first?

omg so I have this in my head that although you didn’t get together for a while, that boy has been SO IN LOVE with you for ages that he does it quick but still romantic and cute af,

BLURB BTC 🩷

Luca never thought he’d have this…perfect life. Dream job, beautiful city, with his best friend now girlfriend.

From the day you’d landed back in Copenhagen and you’d confessed you were in love with each other, he’d slept in your room over looking the canal with you beside him. You’d spend nights tangled up in each other and in the mornings, he’d kiss you goodbye, and leave you sleeping, some delicious breakfast ready made for you. You in return would have something ready for him coming in and it was so…easy to go from best friends to boyfriend and girlfriend. The pair of you had even got matching tattoos. ‘I love you’ in each others writing just above your hearts.

No other woman came close. He’d had short term girlfriends before. Nothing that had lasted past a few months given he was so obviously in love with you. You felt the same as you told him on one occasion when you’d been having a slow, lazy make out in bed.

“What?” Luca said sweetly, pushing your hair back and kissing your lips.

“Just… why did I put up with all those disappointing dates and boyfriends when I could have been doing this…” you pulled him in for another kiss, lingering gently, pressing your forehead to his. “with you. My gorgeous, kind, sweet, loving best friend who was right in the next room.” You traced your hand down his strong bicep “I mean fucking hell, we’re stupid aren’t we.”

Luca laughed. “We’re making up for it now, my love”

Maybe it was stupid that the two of you had been friends for years, well over a decade and a half before he’d made the move but now that you were together, it seemed like it was always this way, like you’d always been a couple. He’d often had to remind himself that although you’d always been together, you hadn’t actually been together that long.

Not that it mattered. You knew him. He knew you. That was what mattered.

Luca, had he got his way, would have driven you both to the town hall on the way back from the airport.

****

“Remember our first week here?” Luca asked as you walked hand in hand along the canal. “You loved that boat.”

It was a cool, breezy evening in Copenhagen and you’d decided to go for a walk. It had already become a thing for you both to go for walks through the city exploring different areas and towns with it. You always loved visiting towns but he enjoyed it even more knowing you’d cuddle up to him as you walked, and he’d never get over seeing your hand interlocked with his.

You nodded and squeezed onto his arm. “Yeah,I remember, half our stuff was in storage and you were so worried about fucking up that you made that compressed watermelon and coconut sorbet every single morning. The whole boat was covered in coconut.”

Luca laughed at your teasing “I swear we were finding shredded coconut everywhere for weeks”

You smiled up at him and lifted his hand to kiss his knuckles“you know I think that’s why I use coconut body scrub now, I think I’ve got like weirdly attached to it”

Luca dipped his head down to kiss you “you know i appreciate it”

“Well when my boyfriend comes home smelling like fruit or chocolate or some sort of essence every day, I gotta do my bit too” you quipped back

“I’ll never get tired of that.” Luca kissed you again “you calling me your boyfriend.” he repeated and broke into a smile and playfully poked you in the side “And getting to call you my girlfriend”

He only hoped you couldn’t tell how nervous he was.

****

Luca had taken you to Geranium, a three Michelin star restaurant in the city that evening. He’d told you it was because one of his sous chefs had left to take over as the new CDC and wanted to check out the competition. Which was partially true. He could never lie to you, not wholly.

So he’d called in a favour. A private table in a quiet part of the restaurant, a twelve course tasting menu that he’d quietly provided some off the clock advice on to ensure that each course tailor made to an event in your lives together both as friends or as a couple.

A pasta dish with parma ham which reminded him of when you’d bought an entire leg of it one day in Venice and you’d ate so much of it that Luca had started to wonder if he’d have to start using it in a dessert. Now that would be a challenge.

A fine dining version of a pesto chicken dish that had been one of your beloved air fryer specials. You’d let out such a loud laugh at that.

A lemon and wasabi rice course as a reminder of when you’d dared him to eat a whole jar of it when you were both 18.

A passionfruit mousse and white chocolate course to remind you of the first meal you’d had together when you’d stayed in Rotterdam.

All through the meal he was trying to just force the words out. Maybe he could be the cheesy guy that put the ring in your champagne as a course of seared venison with pistachio puree was brought out… a reminder of your first meal as a couple or he could discreetly pass it under the table to be hidden in the strawberry, mint and elderflower dessert…the flavours the same as the ice cream you’d ordered when you went on a park walk one day but he held off.

He knew how he wanted to ask you.

****

As you continued your evening walk along the canal, past shops and cafes open but quiet, you could see the small boat moored in, the first place you’d lived in the city, just over the other side of a beautiful bridge.

You let out an excited gasp. It was decked out with lights. Little did you know it was due to a favour Luca had called in with the owner. He’d traded prestige reservations for this.

“Luca, Look at how beautiful it is with the lights” you leant on his shoulder “Is it weird I kinda miss it? I know it’s small and has a ghost cat” you joked “but it was special”

“I do too.” Luca nodded agreeing with your sentiment. “It was where I first realised I wanted to be here permanently…” he paused and brushed his hair back from his face with his fingers “not on the boat but I mean in Copenhagen.”

“I know what you mean,” you smiled. “The city…it just suits us doesn’t it”.

It wasn’t like you could make sense of it. You’d lived in several countries and cities but it was here you felt most at home. You’d spend quiet weekends exploring sights in local towns or walking and trying new food or finding local gardens to sit in where you could read together and sharing whatever pastries Luca had brought home that week. Maybe you loved it for the happiness and peace it brought him.

Luca felt the same. He’d always wanted to be head pastry chef at a Michelin starred restaurant and getting to do it here was even better. It gave him a calm he never knew he could have. It was like he’d found peace, where he was meant to be and who he was meant to be with. Everything finally made sense for him.

“you don’t get better than noma do you?” You nudged him slightly “still so proud of you, my babe.”

He grinned, a faint blush appearing, which you found even sweeter. “I love you” he says simply, looking at you adoringly. His hands around your waist, his head dipped to look in your eyes.

“You’re so cute, Luca” You stopped mid walk to give him a brief kiss, lingering softly. “I love you”

“Are you happy here?” He asked you, brushing your hair back and cupping your face to kiss you again.

“Never been happier.” You said.

“Every day I keep thinking this is a dream…” he stopped “I still can’t believe you chose me.” He said and kissed you again. He meant it. If you’d packed up and went home or to Chicago, he wouldn’t have blamed you. He’d have been devasted. He’d have done anything he could to change your mind but he’d have never blamed you.

“It was easy to chose you Luca” you grinned and he broke into a smile, you always did that. Reassured him how much you loved him. “We’re meant for each other…”

“Yes, we are” he kissed you deeply. “You fancy staying on the boat for a night, my love? For old times sake?” He suggested dipping into his pocket and holding up the keys with his hand.

****

Luca had picked out the ring a month ago but he’d known what one he’d want to get you forever.

It was custom made and from a small independent jewellers that you always stopped to look in the window of. He’d had one of the traditional messages you’d left him engraved on the inside and designed it so it was just your style.

As you began to walk across the bridge, you stopped to take a photo of the pretty canal and the boat lit up illuminated by the gentle haze of the lights and the hum of the city backdrop. You slipped your phone back into your bag and paused savouring the image, looking around as if you were trying to memorise it.

Taking a deep breath, Luca knew this was his opportunity, he got down on one knee atop the bridge and waited for you to turn.

“Luca?” You turned a second later, noticing he wasn’t behind you. As your eyes landed on him, he could see you carefully scanning him, assessing what was going on. “Luca what are you doing?”

“I know we haven’t been together as a couple for long. But we have been together forever.” Luca tried to keep his voice steady, letting out an exhale “It’s always been Luca and [Name]. I am the man I am because you love me. I want to spend every day making you as happy as you make me”

He opened the ring box and your jaw dropped

“I love you so much. I have always loved you, I will always love you. I never needed anyone like I need you. You’re everything to me, will you do me the honour of calling you my wife?”

“Oh my god” was the first thing you said as you took a step towards him. “Oh my god Luca!”

“So is that a yes?” Luca rose an eyebrow, the smallest smile on his face.

“Absolutely it’s a yes.” You felt yourself about to well up as he got up, took the ring outfit and slipped it over your ring finger. “Yes. It’s a million percent a yes”

Luca kissed your knuckles and then the inside of your wrist and then your lips. “Thank you”

He linked your hands together and pulled you into his side and as you found your way to the boat, he lifted you up into a bridal carry.

“Fancy letting me carry you over the threshold, my future wife?”

“We’re not married yet” you laughed “but sure nothing wrong with practice” you kissed him “I love you my Luca”

“I love you.” He said before planting a kiss on your lips and squeezing you “and I can think of one more thing we can practice”

Luca winked and you laughed at his line

“Well you know I can’t resist that” and pulled him in for another kiss before he carried you onto the boat to celebrate your engagement.

[anxietycroissant]

So I’m doing something fun with @turbulenthandholding , per usual. We are exchanging prompts for sydcarmy stories. I’m going to post a bit from two. Please vote for the one you want to keep reading, and that will be my next story on AO3. Scroll down below the poll to read the stories before you vote!

Prompt 1: Syd finds out Mikey’s grave is near her mom’s. (I actually came up with this one for @turbulenthandholding but accidentally started writing it before I realized what was happening.

The Cemetery Story

Every year leading up to April 8th, she forgave herself in advance for not finding the time to come and visit her mom’s grave on the anniversary of her death. But like always, she somehow found herself here. She brought the same last minute bouquet of white flowers from Whole Foods to lay on her mother’s grave. She knew both that the bones of her mother rested quite literally six feet under where she stood, and that she wouldn’t feel her mother’s spirit. It couldn’t be found on top of or underneath this quiet stretch of grass. She didn’t know where else to go, though, so she came to this place, where she could rub her fingers across the carved letters of her mother’s name.

She allowed her eyes to look anywhere they liked, anywhere except at the dates of her mother’s life etched into her headstone. She had died so young. It was too sad. She sighed loudly, biting her lip. “Love you, mom,” she murmured under her breath. “My life is just as fucked up as when I stopped by last year. I own a restaurant now. Well, co-own, I guess?” she amended. What more was there to say, when you had so many things to say that nothing would come out?

She crouched, letting her fingertips brush the buttery flower buds nestled in the bouquet she’d brought. She tapped one finger to her lips, and then gently touched the headstone. It would have to be enough. Pushing off the wet grass with her finger tips, she stood up quickly at the sound of crunching gravel nearby.

She glanced into and through a large bush, and could just make out someone on the other side of it. She didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but then the guy started to speak. She knew the voice, had memorized every variation in tone and pitch that it could produce. She knew its whispers, and lately she had become very familiar with what it sounded like screaming in her kitchen. The voice now sounded soft, bereft. She couldn’t hear any specific words he said, which assuaged her guilt over being nosy. She turned around slowly to begin walking away, and then he spoke her name.

“Syd, um. Remember how I told you I was so afraid she’d leave The Bear?” She couldn’t see his face but she could hear him practically sucking on a cigarette. Their location was so quiet that she felt trapped now. She couldn’t leave without revealing herself. The most she could do was turn her face further away.

He cleared his throat. “She um. She didn’t… leave? Exactly? But she told me, that, you know… this real fucking prick, Shapiro- we worked together a long time ago. He’s not that bad I guess? Uh anyway, he offered her CDC at his new spot. She said she really thought about taking it but ultimately just couldn’t.”

He sat in silence for a minute, moving the gravel in front of his foot back and forth in the silence. When he continued, it was almost a whisper. “I fucking know it’s my fault, too,” he admitted. It was strange. She didn’t feel Mikey’s presence exactly, but the air felt thicker. “How do I tell her? That I have no- fucking idea how… to do any of it? Mikey, if you could meet her, you’d get it. She’s so, so good. She doesn’t need me. I have no idea why she’s staying. I’ve been such an asshole. To everyone, to her,” He sighed.

she heard rustling. “I never told you, but when she started at The Beef? I was so fucked up, and she- she, right away, I could see it. I knew her. I knew she was brilliant, to good for that place. Too good for me. Too good for anywhere. But I just wanted to keep her,” he scoffed. “Mike,” he whispered, sounding spooked. “She made this risotto. You would have died. It just… it just needed, like, the tiniest tweak. But, anyway I was a dick about it. But I could taste her future. Her talent is so much bigger than like, I can even comprehend.”

He was silent for so long that she had to peek to see if he was still there. He was. Elegant fingers messing up his own tangled curls, he was biting his lip with red eyes. “I wish I could tell her, Bear,” he said, his voice raspy. “I want to give her everything she wants. Everything. Probably too much. Even if I don’t know how,” he added, that last sentence slipping out in a rush.

She heard his jacket rustle as he shifted. She could hear him humming, almost as if he was reacting to something another person said. And who was she to judge? Maybe he was.

He was quiet for a long moment, his hand worrying over his chin. Syd stared openly at Carmy as he marinated. She watched his face as different emotions danced across his finely carved features. She was pretty sure she saw sadness, frustration, humor, and maybe even a smidge of hope. Or maybe she was just a stalker.

“What would I say if she were here now? I- I don’t know, Mikey,” he admitted, choking out a meager laugh. “What am I supposed to say? ‘Hey, Syd, I’m sorry I’ve been such an unbelievable asshole to the one person I want to be better for? Oh, and yeah. I know you wanted to work together but I apparently never learned? And you should be the one teaching me?” He laughed bitterly, on a roll now.

“Or how about this? I tell her, “Oh and Syd, the thought of you working with Shapiro - that fucking prick, Jesus, Mikey, if she had actually said yes to that asshole I’d have never forgiven myself- anyway, the thought of you rather working with him than with me… learning that broke me.” His voice dropped to a whisper. “I’m so sorry, Syd. How do I tell you? How do I show you? How important you are? How do I do that without making you feel less than?” He had tears in his eyes.

The weak sunlight cast his hair in a golden glow. In that moment, he looked like an angel who would never be so cunty in the kitchen. She almost admonished herself for using that label. But, she reasoned, men could be cunty too. She almost laughed out loud, but slapped a hand over her mouth.

The gentle slap of her fingers over her open mouth was not what she’d describe as gentle or silent. It was, in fact, audible in the empty cemetery. The smile disappeared from her face as Carmy whipped his head around, his eyes finding hers. They widened first in recognition, then disbelief.

“Syd?” he breathed. “Is that you? What… what the fuck are you doing… here?” he asked quietly, gesturing between them to the bush. Having lost the ability to speak, Syd pointed at her mom’s grave. Carmy took that as an invitation to walk over to her. He stood next to her, and then kneeled down to read her mother’s name.

He smoothed his forefinger over the inscription reverently, just as she had done. He was silent for a long moment before doing something that surprised her. “Hi, Mrs. Adamu,” he whispered. “I’m Carmy. It’s nice to finally meet you,” he said awkwardly. Syd’s heart swelled. “Your daughter… I know you’re really proud already, but… I wish you could see her now. She’s really something special,” he muttered, looking down at his feet.

“Carmy,” Syd said hesitantly after making sure he was finished speaking. “Can you look at me, please?” she asked softly.

He looked at her then, his piercing blue eyes meeting her own. She couldn’t swear on it, but she thought she could see his pulse making the skin of his rose flushed neck stutter. He rubbed the back of his neck with one hand. “How much.. um, of that did you- did you hear?” His voice shook slightly.

Syd winced. “Once I figured out it was you, I tried to tune you out but I couldn’t. And I didn’t mean to eavesdrop but like, there’s no way I have left without announcing I was here,” she said simply. “So I stayed.” She twisted a ring around her finger over and over, smiling nervously. She took a shaky breath.

“I believe you, Syd. But uh, how much? Were you here the… the… all that time?” His eyes searched hers.

She nodded, unsure what to say. She moved closer to him. He startled, eyebrows raised. She curled her fingers into the soft cotton covering his shoulder. “Carmy,” she breathed. She nodded. “I heard it,” she confirmed. Carmy closed his eyes, nodding once. He opened his eyes again and held her gaze. “Is there, um. Anything else you… you wanna say?” They were so close now they were almost touching.

His answering nod was so small that she almost didn’t see it. “Yeah,” he replied, his lips all but disappearing into a thin line. “I wanted to say some of this… you know, at the funeral. But then the guy that made me this way was there. And I had to confront him. You know, he’s why, Syd. He’s why New York was so shitty, why I have panic attacks. Why I… why I can’t just be-“ he broke off, his eyes shiny.

“Anyway, it doesn’t matter. I confronted him. He’s still a piece of shit. He will- never change. But then, later, you were gone. And I, I realized. I’m putting all of this shit on you. My shit. Ruining this for you, taking away all the good parts. The things about it you love. I made it all about me, like you said. Syd,” he gasped. “I’m sorry, for all of it.”

Syd wiped at her wet cheeks, taking deep breaths. Looking down, she saw that she had moved even closer to Carmy. She was holding onto the tips of two of his fingers.

Prompt 2: Syd and Carmy are catering a party for Jimmy, post -season 3, in a fancy high rise apartment. Maybe the review came out and it's not bad but it's not stellar and Jimmy is trying to figure it out, so he asks them to do this. Syd and Carmy get trapped in the service elevator with trays as they are cleaning up afterwards

The Elevator Story

The service version of anything was always- by design- less than. Service entrances were often discreetly located on the side or around the back. Service staircases were simply adorned, with no frills. Who would they be for, after all? Utilitarian double doors, forlorn potted plants, and overstuffed cigarette receptacles were some of the glamor one could expect to grace a service entrance. Likewise, service elevators didn’t claim to be anything they weren’t. They were just to get from point A to point B.

Syd, however, would argue that it was more like rising from point A to B on the Y axis. There was not a cute way mathematically to say that she was ascending vertically in a shitty service elevator in a fancy high-rise building in a gentrified, annoying little bubble of Chicago with her business “partner”. They had been down and up a few times, sullenly taking their gear back to the van. But anyway, if the Y-axis was this shitty elevator, shooting straight up toward this building’s event space, then the X-axis was the things left unsaid between herself and Carmy. Things on the x-axis weren’t great. They hadn’t been for a while.

She noticed him looking at her. He had a little smirk on his stupid face. His strong cheekbones and soulful eyes fucking pissed her off. With all of the bullshit he’d put her through, he deserved to have an actual asshole instead of a mouth. Finally, she couldn’t take it anymore. “What?” she asked aggressively, unintentionally flaring her nostrils. His eyes widened in surprise. He seemed to be in a perpetual state of surprise these days. How he could ever be surprised by the situation he found himself in, despite being responsible for it, blew her mind daily.

“Nothing,” he said in a low voice, sighing. “You were mumbling something about math. It was…” he stopped talking, catching sight of her expression. It was their day off, and she was in no mood for his shit. She had ultimately decided to reject Shapiro’s offer, but that didn’t mean much had changed. The big review that came out on the night of the funeral at Ever had been just decent enough escape the total wrath of Cicero. He still threatened them with data from Computer regularly. Hence the catering side job they had both agreed to do tonight. Everyone else had begged off, probably because the tension between Carmy and Syd was thicker than cold veal fat on a chilled plate.

“It was what?” Syd asked neutrally, daring him to say anything. “Nerdy?” She scoffed. She had heard that one before, although Carmy would never insult her in such an obvious way. He would insult her by excluding her. It was much more insidious, eating away at her one small bite at a time.

“It was fucking cute,” he muttered loud enough for her to hear. She could tell he didn’t mean to say it because his eyes grew impossibly wider. He cleared his throat. “Last trip back up there, I think,” he said quickly, clearly keen to change the subject. Syd was glad for the stainless steel utility cart in between the two of them. She’d take any distance she could get.

Syd rolled her eyes inwardly. Outwardly, she tried to keep a neutral expression. But had he truly called her cute? She was torn between smiling and being (even more) annoyed. She felt crabby, and he was picking at her. “You know what would have been cute?” she asked in a neutral tone. Carmy raised his eyebrows, looking earnest. He reminded her of one of those sad old men she saw who sat waiting for their wives on benches in the mall outside department stores. “It would have been a lot cuter and more cost-effective if we hadn’t done that fucking caviar station. But as usual, you didn’t listen to me. I don’t know why I’m even here anymore.”

Carmy had the nerve to look wounded. “Syd, where is this coming from? I agree with you completely! The fucking caviar thing was Cicero’s idea. You believe me, right?” he pleaded with her. She glared at him, one side of her mouth puckered.

“Forgive me for finding that hard to believe,” she said tonelessly. “You know what? Forget it,” she said, waving her hand. She wanted to avoid whatever arguments he desperately wanted to hold onto. “I don’t know why I bother anyway. Let’s just get this over with so we can get the fuck out of here.” At that moment, she noticed that they had been ascending very slowly for quite some time. How long had this little exchange been going on, anyway? They should have made it to the top by now. And she certainly hadn’t heard that whining mechanical noise during their last ascent.

“Carmy, shouldn’t we be there by now? This is taking for-” she broke off as the elevator slowed to a halt. They looked at each other. They heard and felt a grinding shudder below their feet before the elevator was finally silenced. “Fuck my life,” Syd uttered, sliding down to sit on the floor of the elevator. She just wanted to go home and mindlessly disassociate like a normal person. She couldn’t even look at her phone in this elevator; there was no signal.

Carmy held the call button for a long time until someone came on the line. He tried explaining their situation to the operator, but she could not have been less interested. “Sir, let me stop you there. This is a modern elevator. I can see your location in my system. I can also see the error code on the elevator. The motor has overheated. But the ventilation system appears to be in order. I’ll put in a work order for this elevator and call someone out to your location,” she recited robotically.

Syd huffed, sharing an incredulous glance with Carmy. “Um, sorry, but how long will that take?” she asked. Carmy’s brow was furrowed as he stared holes into the speaker.

The lady’s tinny voice responded almost at once. “Oh, no idea. I’ve called them out, but it’s late. I’m sending them to you, but the elevator will probably cool down before they get here. I’ll also alert the building’s management, but they’re not the most-” she stopped talking suddenly. Syd suddenly understood that this probably wasn’t the first issue this lady had logged with this particular building. She sighed.

“How long do you think it will take? Until either the elevator cools down enough, or the technician gets here?” Syd asked, her voice calmer now.

The lady’s tinny voice sounded once more from the speaker. “Thirty minutes to an hour is my best guess,” she said. “Just sit tight. Like I said, ventilation is working properly and this is a really minor issue. There’s nothing wrong with the motor or any other systems. You’re safe,” she assured them.

Seeing Syd’s dubious look, Carmy grimaced.

Ok I am tagging the blog names I can remember off the top of my head but I know I’ll forget some geniuses so please add them if you feel like it’s worth their time! ❤️

@turbulenthandholding @currymanganese @unbeweavvveable @moodyeucalyptus @bioloyg @sashafiercest @fpink202 @thoughtfulchaos773 @sydneys-adamu @purposechef @ciaomarie @amieraisposting @ambeauty @houseofevangelista @devisrina @angelica4equity @imliterallyjustablackgirl @inalltheirgorgeouscolors @laviejaguardia @kdbleu @mitocamdria @sydcarmy @sillygoose375

[retroellie]

Dating Daryl Dixon in eras

Summary: What it would be like to date Daryl in different eras of the show

A/N: I don't really talk about my personal life on here because yall are here to get horny not sad, but I've been going through it. My girlfriend broke up with me, so I've been needing some Daryl Dixon in my life rn. This is just a bunch of ideas put together because I'm sad lol, but enjoy :)

Warnings: Normal TWD things and NSFW mentions

Word count: 4.2K

Short hair era/ Farm

-this was not his best era, he was a complete dick head to not only you but everyone else

-I wouldn’t even say that y’all were dating around this time because Daryl didn’t see you as his girlfriend, he looked at you more like a fuck buddy

-he refused to call you his girlfriend and he scolded you when you would call him your boyfriend, but y’all were weirdly together-ish?!?

-he was so up his brothers ass that he didn’t have time to have a girlfriend plus he always said he only fucked girls not dated them, “relationships are for pussies” he would tell you

-you did enjoy the sex but somewhere around that time you started to actually fall in love with Daryl Dixon

-You hated when Merle and Daryl were together and it was pretty much always

-Merle degraded you in so many ways and Daryl would turn the other cheek, it broke your heart every time.

-Daryl was a dick to you, yes, but he would never even think about going to Merle’s level. He never made you feel bad about yourself or made you uncomfortable, he was always somewhat respectful.

-He would even tell you that you were pretty sometimes… in his own way

-“god this shirt looks terrible on me…”

-“Shut up… your tits look nice in it”

-when you all assumed merle was dead that’s when Daryl got a bit nicer to you

-He started staying the night with you instead of fucking the shit out of you than leaving you all sweaty and sticky

-he would never cuddle you though, like ever. If you wanted to maybe wrap yourself around him, he’d let it but he wouldn’t be giving the same energy back

-He was bearable without Merle, you liked it actually

-When you guys got into the CDC building, Daryl was all over you… I mean literally

-He was always touching you in some way, holding onto your arm tightly or putting his hand on your thigh

-You knew it was because he was happy, for the first time in a couple of weeks he felt somewhat safe

-you guys definitely fucked in the shower… many times

-“Fuck… one thing I missed about the old world is hot water… and being able to fuck you anytime I wanted..” he moaned while literally rearranging your guts

-After the CDC Daryl started to appreciate you a little more, you all could’ve died… it opened Daryl’s eyes

-he realized that you were too good for him, like way too good yet you still chose him even after him being a dick to you

-Daryl would pick you flowers and lay them at your pillow at night, he was too scared to give them to you straight up but you always knew they were from him

-You realized you were in love with Daryl when you found yourself by his side after Andrea had shot him, he was all cut up and his head wrapped

-You saw how he did that all for a little girl, maybe he did have a mental breakdown but he still did it for her

-That’s when you knew you had fallen in love with him and hell maybe he was falling in love too

-You would read to him, he rolled his eyes and pouted when you did but he secretly loved it

-Daryl found himself in the woods by himself because of you… he wanted to be a better man for you, he wanted to find himself so maybe than he could be the man you deserved

Prison era

- I love this era so much because I know this man was a little horn dog towards you

- I mean he was quite literally inside of you at all times, sex was at its peak in this era

-He’s had so many near death experiences at this time that he learned to appreciate a woman’s body when he had it

- your cell neighbors hated you because no matter how quiet you tried to be, they always heard your muffled moans at night

- Daryl would be so protective of you too, when you went on runs (which were very rare since he wanted you to stay in the safety of the prison) he would have you stay behind him at all times

- “Daryl! It’s just two walkers!! I can handle it” you whisper screamed

-“Yea, two walkers that could rip out ya’ throat in a heartbeat! I said stay put!!”

-“Your no fun..” you said rolling your eyes

-He knew you could fend for yourself, you were tough but he couldn’t risk it. He would never admit it but you were his reason for breathing

-He never quite had a home, he lived in places but it was never a home to him. So finding you, someone who made him feel at home anywhere… he cherished that

-When the prison was in the first stages of development, Daryl noticed you only had one flimsy blanket you would cuddle up with at night… and the nights got cold.

-Daryl hunted for hours for a nice fluffy blanket for you, it took him hours to find one but he found the perfect one. When he got to the prison that night, walking into your shared cell, he saw your shivering underneath the thin blanket.

- He softly wrapped you up in the blanket, making sure every part of your body was covered with the soft material… you woke up that morning confused about the blanket but you knew who it was from

-you gave him head after that :)

-Whenever Daryl brought you gifts, you would savor them… even if it was a lingerie set, it wasn’t exactly flowers but it was something.

-Daryl wasn’t just protective… bitch he was also possessive

-You were his… nobody else could touch you or talk to you or even think about you. Especially men.

-it’s not that he didn’t trust you, he trusted you with his entire life but he didn’t trust other men

-He was a guy so he knew how they thought, he knew what a man can do to a girl like you and the thought of it made him angry

-Every guy in the prison knew you were off limits… like completely.

-When they tried to talk to you, literally just a normal conversation, Daryl would make it known that he would break their jaw if they made a move on you

-You didn’t mind though, you thought it was sweet and you felt protected plus the jealous sex was always a plus :)

-When the flu hit, you got sick…

-Daryl was terrified, he watched as you would cough your little heart out and you looked so sickly…

-He hated himself for allowing this to happen, he should’ve protected you even though he had no control of the virus

-“I’m sorry…” he said, watching your chest heave up and down weakly

-“Dar… honey, it’s not your fault…” you said weakly

-when Hershel found a way to stop the flu from spreading and help the sick, Daryl made him give it to you first… he couldn’t risk losing you without a fight

-It worked obviously and that was the day Daryl Dixon could see his entire life with you, he could see him walking up to you everyday… even when your all old and weak

-Daryl held you a little tighter at night now, kissed you more often and became softer with you when he fucked you

- he was starting to actually fall in love with someone, something he never knew he had the capacity to do

-Until the governor came along splitting everyone up including you and Daryl

-You found yourself alone and Daryl was stuck with Beth…

-Daryl assumed the worst, he knew you were too good for him and something was obviously going to take that away from him so he just figured it would be easier to mourn you

-Beth knew Daryl was depressed, she knew how much you meant to him and now you were gone…

- Daryl tried to act like it didn’t matter to him, he tried to make it seem like you were just another girl he had met along the way but Beth wasn’t stupid… she knew

-She tried to get him drunk, sing to him, make him forget that you were gone just for a minute… just so he could heal

-It never worked and as the days passed, Daryl gave up on trying to be sad and instead went numb

-You weren’t doing any better, you were all alone which made it so much worse.

-You cried yourself to sleep for days, holding on to the only thing you had left of Daryl… a black shirt that he mostly wore to sleep

-You we’re almost about to give up until there was a sign of the group still… that fueled you to go on, only caring to see if Daryl saw the same signs

-When you saw him again… it was when he carried Beth out of the hospital and suddenly you felt his pain… you weren’t happy to see him suddenly, wishing you could go back to your loneliness just so you didn’t have to see him the way he was

-He never talked about Beth to you… ever. You don’t know what happened on their trip, you don’t know if he even Thought of you but you knew right now he was hurting… hurting so bad that not even you could break his sadness

- Even if he was wallowing in his own pity, he still needed you. At night he would hold you close to him, he would hold your hand secretly while walking down the roads, he would always cover you up with his jacket at night

-His brother and Beth’s death changed him… Maybe for the better or maybe for the worst, which ever it was he learned to appreciate the little things now

Alexandria

-Daryl kinda retracted in this era I think, he had experienced so much loss that he became numb. He went back to his “being Merle’s little brother” mindset and he became a bit of a loner

- he also felt like such an outcast in Alexandria so he didn’t want to be there

-You made him feel better though, you would always try to include him in things

-you made it clear to him that you would much rather spend all your time with him than anyone else

-“don’t let me stop you from having fun… go to the party.”

-“no! I’m not going if you aren’t… besides, we’ll get the whole house to ourselves” you smirked

-His sex drive never slowed either which was nice but also wasn’t

-you had to share a house with your entire group to privacy was a luxury in such a small home

-The only way you were able to get Daryl into the shower was telling him that the shower was the only privacy YALL will be getting any time soon

-Let’s just say showers became yalls favorite thing

-Daryl warmed up to everything after a while, he actually kind of liked Alexandria especially after you guys were assigned a small little house for yourselves

- Again this era of Daryl was possessive as hell, like he made sure everyone knew you were his from day one

-You would always have hickeys on your neck or complain of your body hurting after a night with Daryl

-Daryl became a lot less touchy with you around this time though which was weird because he loved to touch you

-The only touch you received from him was through sex and maybe sometimes he would cuddle up with you at night, but mostly so he could press his dick on your ass go hint that he wanted you

-Daryl’s gifts also slowed too, it was rare to receive a gift from him around these times.

-You could tell Daryl was just trying to heal and cope so you didn’t mind much, you even spent those times focusing on yourself.

-You never let Daryl forget how much he meant to you though and honestly sometimes he needed that.

-Obviously Daryl wasn’t completely cold to you like he would be in the early seasons

-He made time to spend with you, he would always let you know he was thinking of you in some kind of way.

Post-negan Alexandria

-This was a extremely hard time for Daryl, after being captured and blaming himself for Glenn’s death… he was completely numb even after he had put himself back together again

-This point in time he was extremely needy though, like he needed you all the time because he was genuinely scared and he didn’t know what he was doing

-He couldn’t sleep without you there with him, if you weren’t there he would be overthinking and it would be almost impossible to fall asleep

- When he was held captive, tortured in so many devilish ways… Dwight used you as a threat

-He explained everything that he had in store for you, telling him that you were next on negans “girls to marry” list and Daryl was the only one who could stop it

-It was all lies though but Daryl believed them, almost giving in if it meant to keep you safe

-“I’m telling you Daryl… that sweet girl of yours isn’t going to be yours forever, especially if you don’t make this choice.”

-“you stay away from her… Lay a finger on her and I’ll kill you”

-When he got back, he was far more protective of you than he was before

-Daryl liked when you rubbed his back at night, dragging your fingers softly over the old and new scars on his back

-He would lay his head on you, cuddling up at your side while you laid on your back. He would look up at you, seeing you drift to sleep while rubbing his back

-Daryl always left a note for you that told you if he was leaving, it doesn’t matter how long he would be gone, he would always leave one

-He knew that him being taken scared you to death, carol told him that you were extremely depressed and wouldn’t get out of bed most of the time

-so he leaves a note just to tell you where he’s going, just so the memories of him being gone won’t fill your little head

- Daryl always says “I love you” to you as well, it’s such a common phrase to yall know because he wants you to know how much he cares about you

-This is the era when Daryl is at his bottom peak bitch… lemme tell you

-He is so broken down and afraid that he will let you take whatever you need from him plus give him what he wants

-He’s such a bottom, like a whiny bottom too

-He will beg for you to let him cum inside you or literally have tears streaming down his face while you go as slow as you possibly can while take his cock inside you

-“please… y/n please go faster…”

-“Don’t be an impatient baby… you can wait!”

-He will literally moan and whine so much, such a little baby and you’d tease him for it too

- It took him months to come back into himself, you felt like he was a shell of who he once was but Daryl always came back to you… always

-You made sure to always reassure him that you loved him and you weren’t going to leave him

-He suffered from nightmares, bad ones too and some nights they would wake up. The sad thing is, Daryl apologized for waking you up and that broke your heart

-You hated when you felt like he had to apologize to you all the time, he would say he’s sorry to you like a mantra

Whisperers Era

-This was like Ricks “death” era so this means mf was so fucking sad, like he could not forgive himself

-The months following ricks “death” though he was always gone

-It started with small trips out in the woods but it slowly turned into full weeks of you being without him

-You waited for him for the first few weeks, staying up until he came home so you could clean him up

- but then you just gave up with it and went to bed without a second thought

-You however did always make a second plate for him and left the living room light on just in case

-you would go out and find him sometimes when you had a feeling something had happened, he was always in a different spot but always by the river

-You would bring him food and clean clothes, he was always happy to see you of course but he always seemed so sad

-“Are you coming home?”

-“Nah… not yet honey.”

-He only came back when he found out about the whisperers, mainly so he could keep you safe

- As soon as he did come back though, Judith and RJ were giving to him… that only added onto his anxiety

-You saw Daryl get lost along the way, he was stressed… full of rage and hatred for this stupid group that he knew nothing about

-When y’all took in Lydia, you could see the pain Daryl felt for her… and that’s when he opened up to you about his childhood

-It was when you were finally able to cuddle up with each other and get some sleep, Daryl was cuddled up into your side as you brushed your hands through his hair

-You don’t know what triggered it but he just bursted into tears, he tried to muffle his cries in your chest

-You went silent, not exactly knowing what to do but you made sure Daryl knew you were listening… even if he didn’t want to talk

-He told you all the horrors that he went through in his childhood, how his father beat him so many times and his moms death… he even told you about the river he used to go to when he wanted to get away from everything

-You listened silently, tears falling down your cheeks as you held him so unbelievably close to you

-“I just look at that girl… I see me, I see the same damn scared look on her face” he whimpered out

-That night brought you two together, it patched up the rocky relationship that had arose due to his absence

- The whisperer had taken so many people from y’all, causing more hatred and anger to arise from Daryl but he tried to keep his cool but you knew

-You were with the small group that went out to find the herd but instead got stuck in a cave that alpha set up for you

-Daryl’s main priority was you, always and forever but especially right now

-He made sure you got through the herd first, he made sure you were able to get through the small areas of the cave first, he cuddled up next to you to make sure you were warm, he made sure you got out first

- you both were exhausted after everything the whisperers out you through but than they unleashed the herd

-You all knew it was coming but this sparked a deep fear from within you that you had from the very beginning

-“Daryl… What if this is our last fight?  I mean what if we lose?” You asked as Daryl sharpened his blade

-“We’ve always worked it out in the end hun, don’t start talking like that now.”

-That day you made sure Daryl remembered how much you loved him, you made sure you bore it into his skin

-You both made love like it was your last time doing so, filled with soft kisses and moans that you didn’t even try to hide

- Than you fought together, fighting off the herd along with the whisperers that hid between them… you made sure it wasn’t your last fight together

- when you all thought it was over, beta decided to take revenge and trap y’all in the hospital

-You went through the herd with Daryl, holding his hand like it was your reasoning for life and Daryl made sure you were safe

-After everything was said and done, life never went back to normal but all you needed was Daryl and you were happy with that

Commonwealth

-Okay this is probably my favorite Daryl era :)

-He turns into a little house husband and it’s so cute

-Y’all live in a shitty little apartment with Judith and RJ, which they have basically become yalls children

-He’ll get the kids ready while you are still fast asleep because work took it out of you

-He’ll get up extra early just to make you some breakfast even though I just know this mf is terrible at cooking REAL food

-He’ll let you take a shower after work while he does the house chores but most of the time he joins you in the shower

-Okay obviously y’all will have sex in the shower like it goes without saying butttt, after or even before he’ll just help you clean yourself up

-He’ll help lather your hair up and scratch your scalp with his finger nails, it feels so good and you’ll just go limp in his arms for a bit

-Daryl hates his job lowkey, like he’ll do it but having to go through all the training and then having to take orders?!? Daryl is a loner and he feels he is his own boss so having to follow rules is hard for him

-You make sure to make his job a little easier by packing his lunch, you’ll put candy and sweet in there for him as well as real food.. the cute part is that you always write a cute little letter for him

-“Have a good day at work my love <3 just make sure you come back to me in one piece!!”

-He’ll just smile down at it, not even attempting to hide his smile

-Everyone else will make fun of him, laughing at his silly little blush as he reads your note for him

-“Hey Dixon! Don’t get all soft on us now!”

-“Hey, you mind asking your girl to make me one too? Shit may be blowy as well!”

-“You really are head over heels for that stupid girl ain’t ya? She’s not all that.”

-Daryl doesn’t care, he spent so long trying to hide you or make your love secret that now he doesn’t even try

-Speaking if you work, you have a cute little job!

-Daryl always visits you when he gets days off and just wants to see you, he thinks you look so cute in your uniform

-You’ll light up when you see him, bring him into a big hug and than tell him how your so happy to see him even if you saw him that morning

-He’ll bring you lunch with him as well, sometimes he’ll bring Judith and RJ just so they can see where you work

-Y’all are such a cute little family and it gets me so fucking soft

- Daryl just becomes a bit softie for you omfg

-The sex gets softer too but Daryl still has his hard times with you, if you want it hard and rough that night… you don’t have to tell him twice

-Okay but when you are at work and he visits you on your lunch break, he would definitely drag you into the nearest bathroom or have you go to the back of the store just so he can take you right then and there

-You would both go to the little parties they have at the commonwealth together :) like Daryl doesn’t dance at all and he’ll probably just stand there all tough but he’d still like seeing you all dolled up

-I keep getting this image in my head of the commonwealth being the first time Daryl had ever seen you drunk, idk why but it’s stuck in my head

-You’ll be all loopy, trying to grope in through his jeans and kissing all over him

-Daryl loved how touchy you were but you were drunk and he doesn’t do that

-“Come onnn daryll…” you dragged out as you attempted to kiss his lips

-“Doll… I swear to you that I want to take you right here right now, I would give anything… but ya’ ain’t sober and I want you when you’re sober.” 

-You eventually vomited everywhere and than fell asleep but Daryl thought you were cute when your were drunk

-When Daryl got the record player?!? You literally bought all types of records

-Daryl would get out of the shower, towel wrapped around him to see you in the kitchen cooking up dinner in only his shirt and underwear, dancing around like a maniac

-He also likes fucking you to music now

-When you guys had to move out of the commonwealth you were pretty upset

-You hated what the people there were doing but you couldn’t help but love it there, you got a glimpse back to the old work

-As you were packing up, Daryl noticed how sad your were so he came up behind you and kissed your neck softly

-“I’m sorry you have to leave your home again..”

- “You’re my home… I don’t care where we go as long as we’re together.”

[merelygifted]

The increases in pediatric respiratory syncytial virus infections and related hospitalizations are not due to an “immunity debt” created by masking and stay-at-home orders issued during the Covid-19 pandemic. So-called immunity debt is a flawed conjecture that is not based on science.  ...

[thosewildcharms]

Ugh the comparisons are so annoying. You’ll still find people insisting Shane was just ahead of Rick in terms of adapting to a brutal world. When it’s clear the ZA broke Shane, he never really measured his choices and didn’t wanted to help anyone at all. He was a coward and acted first as a coping mechanism not because he was an efficient leader.

say that anon! it's honestly not only annoying but a little troubling to me when people compare rick to shane or worse, n*gan because what do you mean shane was right and rick needed to be more like him? what do you mean if we watched the show from negan's pov we'd be on his side and see rick as the villain? no the fuck he wasn't and no the fuck i would not!

the show establishes very early that yes, violence is necessary. and since that's the case, to differentiate between the rick/the people we're supposed to love and the actual villains we have to look at their motivation. rick has been incredibly violent, but his motivation is always to protect, not only his immediately family, but anyone who becomes part of his community. the group flocked to rick instead of shane from the very beginning because he cared about everybody's welfare, unlike shane whose motivations were ultimately selfish. i always think about his last scene with rick, how shane says he's better for lori and carl, like he wants to possess what is rick's - hence why he sexually assaults lori in the CDC. he didn't love her, he felt he was owed her. the way shane so quickly and easily abandoned all sense of right and wrong and adjusted to brutality was a red flag, not something to emulate. to reiterate the parallel they drew between shane and beale in the towl finale, shane was willing to sacrifice other people (his own people!) for his own survival. we should see this as a bad thing. by contrast we know, empirically, that rick would sooner sacrifice himself than anyone he considered himself responsible for (see: the bridge). the argument that rick needed to learn to be more like shane just doesn't track for me: we saw in nebraska when he killed those two men in the bar without blinking that he was perfectly capable of doing what needed to be done. we saw it when he was the one to step up and kill sophia when she came out of the barn while shane just looked at his feet. if anything, killing shane taught rick just how far rick was willing to go. as he said in his dream sequence in 9x05, it had to be him. he had to stay alive to keep protecting the people he loved no matter what, even if it meant killing his best friend. that's his motivation.

as for n*egan. well. i can't believe in the year 2024 people are still not understanding that rick fucking grimes would never have subordinates, let alone force them to refer to themselves by using his own name. he'd never kill a child to prove a point and force submission, and would never, ever force women to become his wives and have sex with him whenever he wants via coercion because rick grimes would never sexually assault someone. do you honestly think daryl, glenn, maggie, carol, hershel, anyone in team family would have stayed with rick if he was capable of any of that? do you think michonne would have let him within fifty feet of her, let alone put an entire baby in her if that was the type of person he was? the same michonne who arguably has the best instincts of anyone on the show? who sniffed out the governer's bullshit immediately? no. when shown an alternate reality where she became a savior instead of part of team family, michonne called it hell. she only feels safe when she's with rick.

n*gan's whole thing reeks of egotism and a need for power - seeing his people as cogs in a machine meant to be put to work and terrorized and abused only to be told it's all for their own benefit. the saviors are a cult, whereas rick genuinely sees and treats his people as his family. rick's people not only love him, they're not afraid of him. they know that when he does go too far they are safe to tell him so, and that he will listen (even if it takes him a minute). rick admits he deserved it when michonne knocked him out at alexandria, and being a farmer at the prison was basically the apocalyptic equivalent of wearing the grippy socks and he did it without complaint. he lets himself be guided. as hershel said, he gets to come back, and he always does, because for rick ego and power have nothing to do with why he does the things he does. he doesn't enjoy it - it traumatizes him and he has to recover from it. this is not a person on a power trip who needs to be eliminated, but a person who is respected and as a result cared for because he does what needs to be done - things other people might not be capable of doing - but for the right reasons.

all of this is why the towl finale had to happen that way btw. not just because it was set up from the very first episode from a writing/narrative standpoint (and i'll let the much more qualified @starfruit-green speak on the socio-political aspects) but because there's no way rick and michonne grimes would ever hear the words coming out of beale's mouth and not immediately lunge. that finale painstakingly spelled out, slowly while using small words so people could understand, that rick and michonne's sword, their violence, is the necessary kind that protects, that eliminates the real threat. beale, shane, n*gan? they are the threat.

anyway. thank you to @starfruit-green and @redding for the encouragement <3

[kazumist]

“go to sleep.”

“i will in a bit.”

kuroo lets out another sigh; that was also your response to him two hours earlier. he knows how important academics are for you, and he supports you for it. but does he support you sacrificing your sleep and meals to achieve your dreams? absolutely not!

“you also said that earlier.”

“you did? i don’t remember.” you reply, not even bothering to look at him as you continued on working. he leans against the door frame with his arms crossed, just watching you and listening to the sounds of you typing away on your keyboard.

after a good few minutes of thinking about what he should do, kuroo decides to pick you up from your seat and carry you to bed. “hey! i wasn’t done yet—”

“you need to sleep.” he says, putting you down to tuck you in bed.

“i’m perfectly fine, tetsu.”

“no, you’re not. when was the last time you properly slept? your ten minute naps don’t count, by the way.” he asks.

“uhm…”

okay, he got you there. the last time you properly slept was probably thursday, and it’s literally sunday now. “see?” kuroo always knew you like the back of his hand, so it’s really no surprise that he knew all of this.

“fine, you win, but let me just finish what i was working on—”

“no.”

“please?”

“no.”

“tetsu, plea—”

“did you know that sleep deficiency is actually linked to many chronic health problems, including heart disease, kidney disease, high blood pressure, diabetes, stroke, obesity, and depression? it’s also linked to a higher chance of injury in adults, teens, and children. so please go to sleep.”

what the fuck? is he seriously going to be nerdy with you now, of all times?

“tetsu, literally what the hell are you on about now?”

“i’m not yet done. anyway, as i was saying, if you skip a night's sleep, your mental function and mood will significantly decline the next day. and apparently, according to the CDC, being awake for 18 hours causes a similar mental impairment as having a blood alcohol content of 0.05 percent, and being awake for 24 hours is equivalent to 0.10 percent. so technically, skipping sleep is the equivalent to being drunk.” he continues.

if this is your boyfriend’s way of making you sleep, then it’s working. because as much as you love to listen kuroo ramble and act all nerdy, you would really love it more if he were to shut up right now instead.

“okay, okay, fine! i’ll sleep. so please shut up about the effects of the lack of sleep.” you said with a defeated sigh. “that’s more like it.” he replies with a grin, leaning himself closer to give you a quick kiss.

what would you do without him?

a/n: thank u alu (@moonltwltz) for the random google result bc if it weren't for your msg i probably never would've thought of this 😭 @i23kazu here you go! you wanted to be tagged so c:

[daddydixonscrossbow]

who do you write for for the walking dead? cause i’d love to see you write for glenn!!

Warnings: TWD themes, zombies, blood/gore, mentions of death/killing, strong language, kissing, fluff

Word Count: 3.6k | unedited

TWO YEARS AGO

“Fuck!” You screamed, “Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!”

You slammed your back against the door, tears forming in your eyes, “Glenn!” Your voice breaks, “G-Glenn!”

You waited, hopefully he would yell back, come running In, something, but nothing happens, “Shit.” You take a deep breath, standing up straight, “Okay, okay, okay.”

You push your palms to your temples, trying to rack your brain about where they were headed, but you couldn’t remember.

Rick, the guy you found together, was headed for something important. You were willing to help him, you were helping him, until a hoard of the dead separated you from your group.

You managed to get into a building, barricaded the door enough for you to escape out the back. You climbed up an old fire escape, hoping to see, or even catch a glimpse of him, but nothing.

It was a sea of dead, and you were on the verge of losing it.

“Okay, okay, okay.” You walked back over to the fire escape, climbing down. You stopped, kicking your boot against the window and giving it a few seconds.

Your main focus right now was to find supplies, hide out for as long as you can.

You wanted to wait, you knew Glenn would come back for you, or so you thought.

ONE YEAR LATER

“So who are you looking for again?”

You look up at the guy, Midge, sitting across from you, “My fiancé.” You sigh, “We got separated a little over a year ago in the city.”

“How do you know he’s still alive?” Midge holds his hand out, “Sorry, I don’t mean for that to come off so.. harsh.”

You shrug, “I don’t, but I’m not going to stop until I know for sure.”

“How are you going to do that?” Carrie sits down on the seat next to you, “Do you remember any of the people who you were with?”

You nod, “Yeah, beside Glenn, there was Rick, he I guess was a sheriff before all of this. Nick, but he died.” You laugh slightly, “He, um. He tried finding medicine for this man’s daughter but he didn’t make it.”

“What happened to the daughter?” Carrie asks, “Did she make it?”

You shake your head, “No. she turned and then all of a sudden, boom. The dead took over the group.”

“But you, Glenn, and this Rick fellow, all made it out?” Marge asks and you nod, “Well, we were escaping them and ran into more. I tried to stay with them but there was just.. too many.”

“We had three other people with us. Sounds kinda the same, honestly.” Carrie shakes her head, “Now it’s just me, Marge..” she points to the person driving the RV, “Venom.”

“Why do they call him venom, if you don’t mind me asking.” You look at Carrie and she laughs, “He used to own a snake store before all of this shit. He had all kinds of them.”

“Fitting.” You chuckle, “Thanks for not running me over with this, I really appreciate the ride.”

“We saw how you handled those dead freaks out there, figured it’s better to befriend you, but if you try to steal from us or kill any of us, I’m not promising to spare your life.” Carrie tilts her head and you nod, “Got it.”

“Do you know which way Glenn was headed?” Marge asks and you shake your head, “I can’t remember, I think something about the, oh fuck. The..” you think for a second, “The fuckin’ CDC.”

“We’re actually headed there, too. I heard some professor may have some answers about why the world went to shit.” Venom says from the drivers seat, “Looks like you hitched a ride just in time.”

But the CDC was a huge bust.

The building was ashes by the time you rolled up onto it.

You got out, scouring the place for any sign of Glenn, but nothing is found.

You walk back to the RV and step inside, “We can just take 85, head towards Washington? I don’t know what else to do.”

“Do you think he went that way?” Carrie asks and you shrug, “I don’t know, I’m just hoping that he had the same idea.”

Carrie nods, “Well, lucky for you. We don’t have any place to be, so.” She laughs, “Washington, here we come!”

SIX MONTHS LATER

“There’s nothing out here.” Carrie’s hands slap her thighs, “No gas. No food, water. Nothing.”

“Then we walk, my map says there’s a housing complex a few miles up the road.” Marge points, “We can try there, if not stay the night. It’s going to be dark soon.”

“We can clear it, barricade the doors.” You nod, “I’m in.”

You make your way to the houses, but they’ve already been cleared, of walkers, food, everything.

“Damn it.” Carrie sighs, “What the fuck are we going to do?”

“Let’s just try and get some rest.” Venom sighs, “We can’t keep going if we’re low on sleep.”

“He’s right.” You nod, “We can get rest, wake up, and keep moving. Marge.” You point to the map in his hand, “Are there any streams around here? We can filter the water if we find a-uh, mesh net or something.”

“I’ll look.” He nods and you help the others barricade any entrances.

After a while of sitting around, Carrie motions to you, “What were you and Glenn before all of this?”

“He delivered pizzas and I worked from home. I was just a customer service rep.” You laugh slightly, and you and Carrie speak at the same time, “Who ordered a lot of pizza.”

You all laugh and you nod, “I miss him. I miss him so much. I just hope he’s okay.”

“We’re going to find him, and you two can have the best reunion anyone has ever seen.” Carrie smiles, “Is that what’s keepin’ you going?”

You nod, “He’s the person I’ll never stop looking for.”

“I’m glad to see people still have some sort of hope.” Venom glances at you, “Lost my wife the day everything went to shit.”

“I’m sorry.” You frown, “If I ever get annoying talking about him pl-“

“Shut up.” He laughs, “It’s nice having someone around who still has that grip on hope. Everyone else we came across was just miserable and wanted what we had.”

“How many people have you killed, y/n?” Marge asks, “If you don’t want to answer you don’t have to.”

You sigh, “Eight.”

“Eight? Whys that?”

You shrug, cracking a smirk, “They wanted what I had.”

ANOTHER SIX MONTHS LATER

You’ve been walking for what feels like months.

You managed to find an old vending machine still full of snacks. You had to fight off a few of the dead ones for it, but as Venom said, totally worth it.

“How much further until we see something?” Carrie looks at Marge and he stops to look at his map, “It says there’s an old factory, I wanna say a day or two walk from here?”

“So we need to camp out for a night or two?” Carrie raises her brows and Marge nods, “Maybe just tonight. If we pick up the pace we can maybe cut it down to a day and half?”

He cracks a smirk and Carrie huffs, “You’re not funny.”

“Sorry.” Marge puts his map away and points, “We can keep walking a little bit longer, maybe someone will drive by? Can hitch a ride?”

“If only we were that lucky.” Venom mumbles as he walks past all of you.

You reached up, holding onto your necklace for comfort.

“I see you do that a lot, he give it to you?” Carrie points to your neck and you glance down, “Oh, yeah. It was our two years anniversary and this was his gift to me. Haven’t taken it off since.”

She nods, “I really am rooting for you to find him. You’ve been a big help this whole time.”

You shrug, “You gave me a chance. The least I could do is make sure you guys are s-“ you point, “Dead ones!”

“Venom!” Carrie screams, unsheathing her knife, “Fuck.”

You each take on the zombies, one by one until they were all lying on the ground around you, “Okay, fuck.” You take a deep breath, “We gotta go.”

You managed to find a stone wall near a small waterfall. “we can build a fire, keep it close to the wall?” You point and they all agreed.

Even with one person keeping watch, no one could sleep being out in the open like that.

Finally, after tossing and turning and sitting up for every little sound you heard, daylight breaks and you keep moving.

“That warehouse should be-“ Marge’s voice fades away as you walk up to the fence to reveal an overrun warehouse, “Gone.”

“That tank looks like it exploded.” Venom points, “This looks like a place people lived. Do you think we should check it out?”

“I am.” You turn to walk and Carrie grabs your arm, “Whatever human was down there, is no longer down there.”

“I have to at least check.” You shrug, “I have to, please. One quick sweep.”

She gives it a second and then sighs, “Fine, but it gets too bad we’re going.”

You nod, pulling the fence to slip underneath it.

You walk down, knife and gun at the ready and you make your way around, “Half of this building is fallen in.” You look back, “I don’t think we should-“

A hand grabs your shoulder, and you whip around, pushing your hand on the chest of one of the dead, you plung the knife into its skull.

You run up to the door, screaming through the cracks, “Glenn!?”

Dead hands reach out, swatting as they try to move towards the sound. You jump back, quickly getting the hell out of there.

As you’re running back up the hill, you stop, turning around to take in the abandoned building.

“Glenn.” You whisper to yourself, “Where the hell are you?”

Walking and camping. Walking and camping.

That’s all you did the next few days.

You were almost out of water and food again.

All of you were running on little to no sleep, which caused things to get a little tense at times, but you all managed to push through it.

One morning, as you were packing up your tarp in your backpack, a guy came out from behind a tree and you raise your gun, “Whoa, hey. Stay right where you are.”

“Sorry, I just-“ the man sighs, “My name is Aaron.”

“Okay, Aaron. What do you want?” You ask, and by this time, Carrie and the guys were standing next to you, their guns drawn.

“I’m alone.” Aaron keeps his hands raised, “I have an offer.”

“What’s your offer?” Venom asks, “Where are your weapons?”

“I have a gun, on my hip, just a small pistol, and then a knife, but it’s still in there, too.”

You saying, “Your offer?”

“I’m from a community, just a few miles away. We have walls, homes, showers. Food, water. Everything you need.” Aaron states, “I’m a recruiter from there, we’re called Alexandria.”

“Alexandria.” Carrie scoffs, “How do we know this isn’t a ploy for you to get us to trust you and then fifteen men come out and kill us?”

“I know, I know it’s hard for you to believe, but I can show you where it is, you just, have to agree to stay there once I do.” Aaron looks at each of you, “I can even mark it on the map and-“

“Hold on.” Marge cuts him off, turning around to face you and the others, “What if he’s serious?”

“I am serious.” Aaron cuts in, “Please, we just want to help people.”

Marge turns around, “How many miles are we talking?”

“Just a few miles that way.” He points, “I have a car just up the road, too. My husband, Eric is waiting with an RV.”

“So you’re not alone?” Carrie tilts her head and Aaron sighs, “Alone out here, yes. When I get back to the cars, “No.”

“Can’t even trust him to-“

“Wait.” You cut Carrie off, “Do you have anyone there named Glenn, by chance?”

Aaron shrugs, “We just got a group in about two, almost three months ago? Things have been hectic, so I’m still learning names.”

“Glenn could be there.” You whisper, “I just..” you sigh, “If you guys don’t want to go I’ll go.”

“No.” Venom shakes his head, “You go, we all go. You have saved our asses countless times.”

Marge turns around, “Which way to the cars?”

——

After a little bit of driving and talking Eric, he points, “This is Alexandria.”

You all move to look out the window. Tall metal walls. Guards with guns at each post.

You honestly couldn’t belive this was happening.

“After years on the road, we might just be able to call someplace home.” Carrie shakes her head, “Another part of me has to see it before I really believe it, you know?”

Eric chuckles, “I promise, it’s exactly what Aaron described. Maybe even better.”

You take a deep breath as Aaron and Eric stop the vehicles, “Your weapons will be taken, but you can check them out after a few days. I promise, you won’t need them in here.”

Marge and Venom grumble as they get off the RV.

“New recruits for the community!” Aaron yells up to the guard at the top of the wall. She nods, “Weapons?”

Aaron looks back at you and Eric nods, “I told them.”

You lay your gun and knife on the ground, your legs trembling as you stand back up. Carrie and the guys follow, and soon after, the gate starts opening.

You walk up with your small group, your jaw dropping slightly as you see just what Aaron described, “No way.”

“Maybe he wasn’t lying after all.” Carrie shakes her head, “Oh my god.”

“I told you.” Aaron chuckles, “Welcome to Alexandria.”

As you spinning around slowly, taking all of it in, a familiar voice stops you in your tracks.

“Y/n?”

You spin around slowly, “Glenn?”

Tears instantly well up in your eyes and you run. You slam into him, almost knocking you both to the ground but he regains balance and his arms are tight around your body.

“I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.” He mumbles over and over again, “I’m so sorry. I came back, but you were gone.”

“It’s okay.” You keep your arms right around his neck, “I found some people, I helped them they helped me.” You sniffle, “I thought you were dead.”

“I thought you were dead. Seen a walker that has the same necklace as you. Same hair color, everything.” Glenn leans back, “Oh my god.”

He lays a hand on your cheek, “I can’t.. believe that you’re here right now.”

“Is this the infamous Glenn Rhee?” Carrie teases as she walks up. You nod, keeping your arm around him as you turn to look at her, “It is. Glenn, this is Carrie. That’s Venom, and then you have Marge.”

“Why do they call you Venom?” Glenn tilts his head and you laugh, “I’ll tell you later.”

“You know, she wouldn’t shut up about you.” Marge chuckles and you sigh, “He said it was fine.”

“I’m sure Rick and the others can tell you the same thing. I wasn’t letting the thought of her go.” Glenn pulls you in towards him more, “I just can’t believe you made it here.”

“She’s a hell of a fighter. She ain’t kicking the bucket anytime soon.” Venom raises his brows, “She was determined to find you.”

“Hey.” Aaron walks up, “Glenn, I presume?”

He nods, “Yeah, hey. Thanks for bringing them here. This is y/n. My fiancé.”

“Now I see why you asked if we had a Glenn.” Aaron chuckles, “from here on out, I promise to learn names right away.”

“I’m going to, take her to the house so she can clean up, if that’s okay?” Glenn runs his hand up your back and Aaron nods, “Yes. Please, I will show your friends where they can go.”

Glenn leads you towards the house and you stop when you see Rick walking down the road, “Y/n?”

You smile, giving him a wave, “Hi, Rick.”

He looks to Glenn and back to you, “Holy shit.” He opens his arms, welcoming you into a hug, “I’m glad you made it out.”

You step back, “Wasn’t easy, but I had no other option. I was finding Glenn.”

“You found me.” He rubs your back, “Come on. Let’s go get cleaned up.”

Glenn leads you inside, giving you the run down about the house as you make your way towards the steps and up, “We all kinda share the space, mainly because we aren’t used to being here yet.”

You nod, “Aaron said he brought in a group about two, three months ago. Was that you guys?”

Glenn nods, “There’s been one or two people, but we were the biggest they’ve had in a while.”

You lean against the sink counter, staring at Glenn, “Sorry, I just.. can’t believe that you’re.. here.”

He nods, “I probably would have lost it if you turned around and you were someone else. I’ve wanted to look for you. I did go back and look for you. Everywhere we stopped, I was out there, all day looking.”

You nod, “I really wouldn’t shut up about you. I just had this constant voice in my head telling me to head towards Washington.”

“That’s where we were headed, then we sound this place, or, this place found us.” Glenn laughs slightly, “I’ll um, let you shower. I’ll wait in the room for you.”

You nod, watching as he closes the door as he leaves, and you turn, staring at another thing you never thought you’d see again.

——

As you walk into the room, Glenn turns around from grabbing a shirt, “Feel better?”

“Do I look better?” You joke, moving to close the door behind you.

“You look like you, just.. cleaner.” He chuckles and walks over, “I have waited two years to do this.” He cups your cheeks and presses his lips to yours.

You lay your hands on his face and lean back, “I never lost hope.” You press your lips to his again, “I knew you were alive.”

“I’m still sorry I left you. I should have looked longer. Harder.”

You shake your head, “It’s fine, Glenn. I promise. I’m okay. Im here now and I’m not going anywhere.”

You step back to grab your shirt, “Did you guys see that old warehouse building? A couple miles from here?”

“Terminus?” Glenn raises his brows, “Yeah that ah..” he laughs, “Carol blew it up. We went there thinking it was actually a place we could live and it wasn’t.”

“Wait, so you were there?” You put on your shirt and change into a pair of sweatpants, “What was it?”

“A bunch of cannibals.”

“What?” You asked shocked and Glenn nods, “Oh yeah, they uh, they bound and gagged a few of us, after keeping us locked in a train car, then they took us in to a big room and has us down infront of this long tub looking thing and they cracked two guys over the head with, I don’t even know what, but we got lucky and fought back and then we found this.”

“Oh my god, Glenn.” You walk over to him, “I’m so sorry.”

“Then there was a prison, everything was fine until someone in another place wanted what we had and..” he takes a deep breath, “a lot of people died.”

“Glenn.” You wrap your arms around him and he hugs you tight, “after we got separated, Rick found his wife and son and I think his old police buddy. We went to the cdc.”

“We went to the cdc, too.” You look up at him, “We must have been a few months behind you then.”

“I should have kept looking.” His eyes scan over your face as he brushes hair from it, “I kicked my own ass every day for it.”

You shook your head, “Don’t do that to yourself, Glenn. We’re here now.”

“Where else did you go?” He asks, cupping your cheek with his hand, “I wonder if you went to the same places.”

“We didn’t go to the prison, I didn’t even know there was one. Marge didn’t say anything about one. But we went to the CDC then headed up 85, ran out of gas, hung out at a house in a development for a night, and started walking. Found the warehouse and then Aaron found us.”

“We were held up at a farm for a few weeks after the cdc, then it got overran.” Glenn runs his hand over your wet hair, “I’m so glad you kept going.”

You nod, “Trust me, I wanted to give up so many times, but this..” you pull up your necklace, “..kept giving me hope.”

Glenn smiles, “I still have that picture of you. That’s what kept me going.”

You smile, “I love you, Glenn Rhee.”

He kisses your forehead, “I love you. So much.” He pulls you in for a tight hug, “Are you up for meeting the people I’ve been stuck with for the last two years?”

“You mean your family?” You smirk as he nods and you sigh, “Then yes, yes I am.”

——

My first Glenn post. I love writing reader into different walking dead scenarios. I hope you liked it, smut one shots for him are coming soon.

Here’s a kiss for likin’ and rebloggin’💋

[mswyrr]

more on michelin stars

I genuinely think it's going to be an important plot point in s3 re: why exactly Sydney wants a star and why *one* specifically. I went and researched and discovered something I used in my fic, which is that one Michelin star restaurants are excellent cuisine that normal people can still afford. And that connected, for me, to what Sydney had told Marcus about how going out was so special when she was a kid and she wanted to share that kind of amazing thing with people:

We didn't really like eat out a lot growing up, so when we did, it felt special even if it wasn't.... I wanna cook for people and make them happy and give them the best bacon on Earth (1x08)

I'm so hopeful/convinced that the research they have with, like, Matty (the chef who plays Fak) right there on set, means the writers know that about what one star places can be like. And that it's meant to be part of this - more humane vision of excellence for Sydney, where their spot is AMAZING, but it's not a cruel kitchen culture, it's not only for the rich.

For her, it’s *part* of her vision, where she says: 

“I think this place could be so different from all the other places we've been at. But, in order for that to be true, we need to run things different.“ (1x03)

But Carmy sees a star and all it means (all he’s ever known it to mean) as a repudiation of that kind of humanity. You say the word "star" and immediately Carmy goes "fuck stars" (2x01) as pure self-defense - because stars are just pain and suffering to him. They're NYC chef and everything that mess became.

He's so traumatized by the whole thing he doesn't think to ask the right questions: why do you want one? What is your vision for it? Why do you specifically want *one* instead of two or three? What timeline do you have in mind for getting there and how can we strategize on this together?

Instead, because he wants so desperately to please her, despite that instinctive, self-defensive "fuck stars" he relents and asks - okay, are you sure? Are you positive this is what you want? Really?? It's terrible. It's just dread and fear and throwing up every day before work. You really want me to give you this?

(I’ll give you anything you want)

He never asks the right questions. Just assuming the level of pain which is his only experience of this is what the thing IS--playing into that theme about how people only know what they're taught, only know what they are given, and if we are given pain and patterns of it it is so hard to even imagine things can be different and, when you can imagine it, still so hard to actually get there.

(It’s not a coincidence that the ASL sign is one of the few positive, healthy examples of kitchen culture Carmy witnessed - we only know what we’re taught, and it can be hard work to even figure out what “not shitty” IS let alone doing it)

So he's assuming all of that and it's like - if she's his CDC, does she want him to push her as hard as he was pushed? Push himself that hard again? He doesn't want to do either of those things. But that's all he knows. And she keeps saying this is what she wants. And he wants to give her everything she wants.

(In the same conversation she kept saying yes, this is what I want, she expressed admiration for the designer chef outfit he later buys her as a gift - he wants to give her everything she wants, even when it seems like a terrible idea he’s torn about)

I think this misunderstanding is intentional and it’s going to come out in S3. A one star restaurant fits so perfectly with what we know of Sydney’s goals and love for her work! And Carmy not able to even conceive of something better because of the patterns he’s stuck in and finding his way to her vision makes sense for him.

I think Carmy figuring out how this work can be joyful and humane is going to be a huge part of S3. Sydney not becoming lost in the high stress environment, not following in younger!Carmy's footsteps living a life of pure drive and dread, and Carmy finding that for the first time.

I do think that, given where they both end in 2x10, there’s going to be a period of conflict and a real bunch of issues for both of them - but with themes and ideas like this seeded into the story there’s so many ways to make s3 start out in a bad way and then really end in joy in a beautiful way?

[yannaryartside]

SYDNEY, PASTA, CARMY, AND FAILURE

When Sydney was trying to create items for the menu and failing at it, I kept asking myself why, why is he self-sabotaging now, even when she may have been waiting for a change like this her whole life.

There were some events related to her fear of failure, to pasta, and to Carmy, that created a unique avalanche of her own.

She tells Carmy the story of the incident that broke her business, about a mean lady who demanded fresh pasta that she couldn't deliver despite her best efforts. The failure was caused by improvisation on her part, trying to compensate for biting more than she could chew to begin with. 

In that same scene, she fucks up Carmy's recipe to ferment the pasta. Too much acid, when he had suggested her to add acid to another of her original dishes before. This was a subconscious response to how badly she fears to disappoint him, yet she does. Simple instructions, something she has done before, fucked up (remember the stock incident, even if it wasn't her fault, she felt humiliated). Pros to Carmy for actually reacting as a friend this time and the next scenario, even if that didn't help Sydney's self-critic too much.

Next time they cook together, Sydney fucks up another recipe, one of her own. Too much salt. Again, something she has done before.

And then, Carmy ditches her.

She has to go for inspiration alone, and what does she imagine as a possible signature dish? A pasta dish. It makes sense; it is an Italian restaurant, after all. 

When she imagines this dish, she imagines it plated on the circular black plate Carmy liked, the only one he wanted.

Later, after fighting with Carmy, she tries to make that pasta dish she imagined but fails at it. 

She cannot improvise or be creative because the last time she did that, she was punished by losing her business. And then made a recipe of her own, or tried to collaborate on another one, fucked up in front of her partner and idol. All these cases, in her mind, it connected to a pasta dish. 

images by @heardchef

She has failed in the same area (pasta) in different scenarios (Carmy and his standards, that is the same as saying the industry standard, her business, fucking a recipe) doubting herself to the point she has locked herself in an art block.

About Carmy ditching her on the food tour, for what we know, she may think that was something Carmy did on purpose as a way of saying, "You are a CDC now. This is your problem." She spoke to everyone all day, saying she had a partner, only to realize there is no such thing as a partnership at the top of this industry; you can pull your weight, or you sit your ass down. Nobody wants to feel like death weight in a partnership, and now she may feel she is lacking in the things that made Carmy choose her; that is why, in 2x09, under the table, she goes, "You could do this without me." The reassurance coming from Carmy completes her arc. 

Now, these some other thoughts on this:

Sydney may still only be able to define her own culinary success by the things that had made Carmy successful. Let's remember she is working for his family restaurant. Most recipes are his family recipes (filled with trauma, but we are not going to touch that today). He is the mold she cannot fit in, the plat in which she doesn't provide anything yet, to her eyes. This is a very common problem for artistic people, success is only defined by the people before you, if your own creative voice doesn't fit that mold, you may think you are not good, or ready.

She considers his experience more valuable than her own instincts, so I really hope she gets to resolve that. 

The inspirations he decides on would be pretty interesting since now she was only trying to fit the mold of her previous failures. Something is to be said about a woman of color, with a culture of her own, trying to fit in a Western-oriented industry, fighting to be taken seriously in what is considered "high-end cuisine." Someone made a post of a female black chef who won a chef competition combining her Italian and African heritage, something like that (at least until she gets her own spot), would be pretty neat.

Finally, and to aggravate everything, SHE IS RUNNING FULL SPEED. The sense of urgency that was very evident in s1. we don't know what makes her this way (it may be "working twice as hard to get the same recognition" or a different type of trauma). “Growing too much too fast" on her business, gambling on a shot on a kinda disgraced star chef in a chaotic environment, pressuring Carmy to change the restaurant on s1, pushing her dish to the food critic, all that collapsing on her all at once. Then she took care of her own and Carmy’s responsibilities on s2, because she tough that was expected of her. Too much, too fast. If she ever wants to make a path of her own, she needs to heal this.

[verdemoun]

Oh my god I wanna hear about Sean going to the dentist. All of them going to the dentist and doctor regularly please. Wanna see Arthur Morgan going to the doctor like "Jesus fuck you have the lungs of a man who's been chainsmoking since birth. Did you have some kinda lung disease" "haha whaaat that's crazy 🤯" how does the gang handle the doctors. Is Dutch antivax. Is Micah being as much as a asshole to the nurses as I think he'd be

Sean had to go to the dentist for complications involving a) smoking and b) y'know literally having teeth pulled and not healing correctly and assumed he would be fine with it because unstoppable Sean Macguire. Calmly talking about yeah got a tooth ache and sometimes this hole in my gum starts oozing randomly. Laying back in the chair making jokes about give me some of that good shit doc right up until they tried to put something in his mouth. Proceeded to jump up, punch the dentist at full strength hard in the jaw, throw the nurse over and sprint back to the reception room where several of the gang were waiting with tears in his eyes before going 'lol classic Sean' at himself. Hyperventilated for 20 minutes in the car 'hahahaaa what's wrong with me am I dying'. They found him a dentist who they very much warned about what happened to the last dentist and he absolutely has to be knocked out before they do anything even vaguely near his mouth. They've tried when he was almost out of it and he still started trying to fist fight and threw himself onto the floor before it fully kicked in.

Most of the gang go to the same doctor who is both scared of them and for them. Sees Bessie Matthews has made an appointment and just feels fear what strange old-fashioned creature has she found today! Unmedicated hyperactivity who will not stop making jokes but explode into violence if touched in the wrong place, with what look like cane scars over most of his back and ass? Semi-verbal adult who must come with another adult because he will stare at the fish tank so intently he will miss hearing his name called despite being fully aware and very compliant with picking up and taking his medication on time? Another mysterious oddly polite 40 year old with very obvious gunshot scars over far too much of their body? Adult women who have not heard of condoms and need a triple appointment to even understand the concept of birth control? Every. Single. One. Needing. Every. Single. Vaccine. Desperately wanting to know what cult they escaped to have missed so many. Getting a frantic phone call from the CDC that antibodies for smallpox were found in a blood sample he sent away for testing.

Arthur is so paranoid about his health. He went through feeling his body degrade and fail him and feeling like he was drowning in his own lungs when so much of his identity before then was being the workhorse and the enforcer and strong man. Getting a second chance in a body magically restored to the exact moment before he was infected with TB was as glorious as it was horrifying. Never wanting to feel sick again. Coughing because he swallowed wrong and immediately booking an appointment with his GP because he is terrified of getting sick. Modern medicine is his religion. Will never not use nicotine patches but is making a conscious effort to quit smoking because cigarettes bad for lungs. No longer having the gunshot wound on his shoulder from Colm but getting phantom pains. Plenty of other older injuries he had accumulated over his life he experiences pain from as he keeps aging. Sees a physio twice a week for trying to take care of himself physically.

Dutch is not anti-vax but he is very anti-big pharma despite relying on a colorful candy-like assortment of drugs to maintain balance. Acts like a victim despite never having to actually pay for his own meds and care because the VDLs cover it to make sure he is in a stable, positive environment. Goes on the biggest lectures about pharmaceuticals being a scam and the corrupt power of branding and lack of peer-reviewed studies into the effect of specific medications over time only to be called over by his doctor to discuss a new alternative to one of his current meds and excitedly skipping over 'oh goodie!!'.

Dutch is in the psych ward watching House MD and it becomes part of his identity.

Yes. Micah is a creep and doesn't believe women can be doctors. He is the token anti-vax. Nurse showing him to the exam room and he's like 'slow down lemme see that little canter' biting his lip fuckboy emoji. But he also goes to a dodgiest clinic in his sleezy local area so the fact he isn't actively groping the nurses makes him one of the less offensive people they have to deal with. Most of his visits to the clinic are because he's gotten pepper-sprayed or wrecked by a woman with self defense training yay go women I love women beating up Micah Bell.