#WHOS GOING TO STOP HIM LADIES WHO????? BECAUSE HIS BOYFRIEND SURE AS HELL ISNT GOING TO LETS GOOOOOOO

[dwaeki]

beomgyu as ur bf ! (random headcanons)

pairing: beomgyu x gn!reader

genre: fluff, comedy

warnings: none other than poorly written fluff, intended lower case and maybe some spelling errors :D

a/n: YET AGAIN I WENT WITH THE FLOW SO SORRY IF IT'S KINDA BAD- keep in mind that english isnt my first language thank you <3

another one of my ults nfakjnglkejngr

you're dating a clown-

honestly, how do u even survive because he's actually so annoying

but he loves you though, i promise <3

an actual brat.

teases you a LOT !!! but never in a mean way.

if you trip over your own feet and fall, he's probably going to laugh at you, offering his hand to help you up but then quickly pulling it back to mess with you!

or if you accidentally drop your phone, spill some water on yourself, etc. he's going to tease you,

"y/n, what are you? a 3 year old?? you can't even walk without tripping, HAH, DUMMY!!!!"

loves to push your buttons to get different reactions out of you :D

he's quite empathetic though, so it's never his intention to hurt your feelings by poking fun at you.

if he notices that his teasing is making you uncomfortable or insecure he will not hesitate to stop,

making you feel loved and appreciated is his number one priority <3

he's determined to make you laugh, because when he hears you giggle... phew he's on cloud 9,

knowing the fact that he's the reason you're grinning from ear to ear is just such an ego boost :(

he will do anything to make you smile and i mean anything...

even if it results in him looking like a fool 😞

you two go grocery shopping together <3

honestly, he sometimes embarrasses you to the point where you regret bringing him with you in the first place 😐

like you've literally just entered the store and he's already whining, asking if you're done yet so you can finally go home and cuddle at once !! :/

it's usually just you doing all the shopping while he follows you around,

he's just there to assist you when you can't reach the high shelves‼️

the store you go to is pretty small and very close to your neighborhood, so you're basically familiar with everyone who visits it.

there's this one sweet lady with a kid around the age of 10, and beomgyu swears that "the child is a devil!!"

he has already made enemies... with a 10 year old-

you had to apologize to his mom multiple times because your 20 year old boyfriend couldn't stop bickering with her son.

he also helps you do your chores !!

he's very playful, hence anything can be fun if beomgyu's around :D even boring things like washing the dishes or cleaning your room (no offense to whoever likes it)

he turns everything into a game, a competition to be more precise...

"whoever finishes washing the dishes last has to buy the winner their favorite snack 😋😋"

even if he wins, he still ends up buying you the food of your choice, not letting you spend a single penny on him!!

he competes with you just to rile you up, making bets such as the one mentioned above to keep you determined, not because he actually wants you to do anything for him.

except giving him your undying love and affection of course :D

he's literally so clingy

you usually visit him at the dorms when he's not busy

the second he hears you knock on the door he's quite literally sprinting towards you

you can hear the members complain that he almost pushed them over

once your boyfriend opens the door, he engulfs you in a tight, bear hug™, picking you up and spinning you around, making sure he crushed every single bone in your body <3

the others just watch you get the air knocked out of your lungs in amusement.

speaking of the members, beomgyu always dreamed of you getting along with his best friends,

but once his dream came true he kinda wished it never did </3

you get along a little too well for his liking :/

how come you just laughed at one of yeonjun's jokes right in front of your toddler boyfriend?!?!??!

unacceptable!!

the entire night he either tries to crack as many jokes as possible to "redeem himself", glaring at an oblivious (and also mildly concerned) yeonjun from time to time

or he starts being poutier and clingier than usual, asking for a kiss every 5 minutes or straight up just dragging you to his bedroom and not letting you go until you cuddle for at least an hour

but in all honesty, he's so relieved that you and the boys are bonding !!

you having a good relationship with his friends is very important to him <3

he's not jealous at all because he knows that you love him and him only :)

he babies you to no end !! (even if you're older than him)

you do something as simple as drink water and he just coos at you

"AWW !!! you look so cute when you drink water like that :("

your number one fan!!!!!

hypes you up and brags about you to everyone <3

if you're wearing a new outfit he will notice right away and just stare at you in awe the second he sees you, won't forget to comment on how gorgeous/handsome you look ;)

also likes it when u compliment him back, it really means a lot <3

please keep feeding his ego he loves it when you notice small details, it makes his heart flutter

you two nap together a lot

if you're not the one for naps you just lay there, next to him, his arms wrapped around your frame tightly as he nuzzled his face in the crook of your neck, sleeping peacefully.

he looks so peaceful and cute when he's not annoying the hell out of you <333

you sometimes snap pictures of his sleeping state and then set it as your wallpaper/lockscreen :D

once gyu found out about your little antics he got extremely cocky

if you ever changed your lock screen to anything but him, he'd get all whiney, begging for you to change it back

also snaps a few pics of you sleeping/just existing peacefully and puts it as his so you two can have "matching wallpapers" <33

he also lends you his jacket if you're ever feeling cold

lives for how cute you look basically buried in his jacket, sighing in content as you're finally warming up a little

if you get tired from walking he's going to give you a piggyback ride <333

laughs and giggles as he lifts you up from the ground, your chest flushed against his back as he carries you to your destination :)

if you did something that upset him and he's scolding you he's just gonna:

"y/n, you're such a dummy!" *holds your hand* "that was very careless of you," *kisses your forehead* "i want you to know that i am very angry at you." *cuddles you aggressively*

while most of your dates are at home,

amusement park dates are very common as well :D

you go on various roller coasters, circular rides, take a few breaks in between and get ice cream or cotton candy

but your favorite ride by far are the bumper cars!

you just race, crash into each other at full speed or get into the same car and absolutely destroy your competition !! (the competition in question are just a bunch of 7 year old kids trying to have fun)

he seranades you :(

learns a bunch of love songs that remind him of you on guitar and sings them to you whenever you're able to hang out <3

he has a playlist full of love songs dedicated to you

offers to give you some free guitar lessons, if you ever want to learn how to play yourself :)

you both also have a collaborative playlist on spotify, along with playlists for each other you update regularly <33

when he's sleepy he's so soft with you :(

he's looking at you with hooded eyes full of love and adoration, you can tell that he's trying his best to stay awake for a little longer, but his eyelids are getting heavier by the second, his voice lower than before

"hey, y/n... you know i love you right? i love you so much that my heart aches whenever i look at you..."

pulls you in closer, if that's even possible, and holds you gently as if you were going to break if he wasn't careful enough,

probably leaves feather kisses all over your collarbone before whispering a one last "i love you" for the night and falls asleep.

yeah... thoughts are being thunk right now y'all-

he really loves you to the moon and back :(

overall your relationship is very chaotic and just.. weird in general.

good luck dealing w/his bs <3

[blookmallow]

sighs 

i finally decided to find out what the hell project makeover actually is 

this is the best fucking dress ive ever seen

so its your standard match-3 game with pretty much the exact same mechanics as matchington mansion, i have too many of these and am very tired of matching things and yet i keep downloading more of them anyway

off to a great start here with the “take away her glasses and it’ll make her instantly hot” trope 

i thought maybe we’d be giving her some new glasses that suit her better but nah she never gets the glasses back lmao 

the poor girl with the bushy hair is not a gremlin who hasnt showered in weeks standing there with her hair actively on fire, she’s just a college student who recently graduated and wants help with a new professional look, it’s actually very focused on “lets help you look good to inspire confidence and love yourself” and generally pretty wholesome except for the “you can’t wear glasses it makes you look like a nerd lol” thing 

also the blue hair guy is not her boyfriend, or the blonde lady’s boyfriend, he’s the makeover show’s hair stylist. the blonde lady is actually the villain. theres a villain of this makeover game, more on that later, but my point is i do not understand how these app games don’t ever seem to get in trouble for false advertising when their ads literally have nothing to do with the game 

granted, everything about the real game is massively better than the ads. but i still dont understand 

anyway you also redo their rooms too, and the process for this is like. taking absolutely everything out and just replacing it all so in the meantime you end up with. like 

this poor man fsdjkg i took everything from his garage and also his shoes and now hes just standing in there looking lost. and barefoot 

alright lets get some DESIGNER concrete in this barren basement 

gjdsfsgh it did actually look nice when i finished this one. i didnt use the designer concrete 

theres a whole section for drama, which is very funny to me 

so the blonde lady was the previous show manager/host who ran the whole thing in a very “you’re ugly and disgusting, let Me, the Great Fashion Diva, try my best to fix you” way so she got kicked off for being terrible and now she’s out for revenge and also has an assistant who is desperately in love with her. the assistant is also really vindictive and mean to everyone too 

“greta left her laptop here so i went snooping in it. and hacked into her bank account. gotcha” 

isnt that like. illegal 

she didn’t actually hack into the account, greta left it logged in (even though. most bank sites log you out automatically after a while im pretty sure, but whatever) but isn’t it still illegal to go searching through someone’s laptop and personal finance accounts without their knowledge or permission. even if they are a fashion villain. like greta’s Mean but she hasn’t done anything illegal 

hold up why the fuck is this girl on my makeover list she clearly doesn’t need me 

can she give ME a makeover. look at her she’s gorgeous. she has everything figured out what more can i possibly do 

if i have to ruin her gothic theater and turn her “”normal”” im going to actually cry i really want to play this one bc i want to meet her so bad but im also so, so afraid 

like so far it hasn’t been “everything you like sucks we’re going to Improve You” its been like. ok the guy in the basement with the designer concrete was a car mechanic who Wanted to learn how to take better care of himself/his appearance but didn’t know how, and wanted to look good for his wife but needed help, and he already has a professional garage and all this stuff so it was like ok he loves coffee and cars lets help him make his garage into a little coffee lounge with car posters and stuff so he can actually relax at home and not think about work so much 

so it was “what would help improve this person’s quality of life and give them more confidence/lets use the things they love” so i cant imagine they’d just be destroying everything this girl loves??

also id just like to point out the horrible eye slime dress is one of my own personal wardrobe items that i bought because i love and hate it. why am i allowed to have the eye slime dress and she’s not allowed to have her vastly superior victorian goth look here 

anyway my theory that maybe if i finally play this game it’ll stop following me everywhere with these horrible ads was a failure. im still getting these and i still hate them even though the game itself seems to be mostly pretty alright 

i still think homescapes is the superior match 3 game of all the ones ive played but this one’s at least alright. they dont give you nearly enough powerups though its rly frustrating when you get stuck and i refuse to spend actual money on this, so 

[splendidshinobi]

FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST 2003 LIVE REACT: EPISODES 1-5

So i am gonna watch fullmetal alchemist 03 and react to it for my own fun. i did see 03 first wayyyy before brotherhood, but it was only like 3 episodes with my older sister back in like 2007, so it’s been a really long time and thats like 48 unwatched episodes. i’ve just been kinda curious because i hear people hate it and i hear people love it. so yeah lets gooooo

episode 1: those who challenge the sun

ok here we go

what the FUCK HAT is mustang wearing why is he outside in the rain st the elrics’ house during the transmutation

ed is anakin skywalker confirmed

is it just me or do maxey whitehead and aaron dismuke sound almost the exact same...

i have just been informed by google that whitehead used the same bowl dismuke did to record the lines veerrry interesting

a wine fountain i see i see

oh hey lust you here baby girl what is upppp

the pink hair works for rose the original born again christian e girl

for the most part so far this liore episode is pretty close to the brotherhood liore episode 

“push your total cynicism on someone else” you tell him alphonse!!!!

the people from liore in brotherhood are a lot paler than the 03 counterparts i just noticed

the giant bird um ok

this kid’s goT AUTOMAIL WHAT??? /j

he still does the dramatic coat rip glad to see it very glad to see it

episode 2: body of the sanctioned

I FORGOT ABOUT THE OP IT SLAPS I LOVED IT WHEN I WAS TWELVE.

 “WRONG HOLY MAN” im gonna start saying this to evangelicals

AL’S DEEP VOICE ALL OF A SUDDEN “PLZ GIVE US THE STONE” 

wait a damn minute rose’s bf????? um SIR MR HOLY MAN SIR

IS IT THE BIRD? HE MADE THE BIRD INTO THE “BOYFRIEND”????? 

gluttony’s tummy noises same baby same

walking statues?? ok professor mcgonagall 

that wasnt in the book

the watch being the reason ed can do alchemy without a transmutation circle??? hahaha yeah ok think again bitch

the bell lmaooooooo

again thats not what happened in the book

lustttttttyyyy BABBBEEEEEEEE

ROSE TEHRE IS A BIRD BACK THERE

ITS GOTTA BE THE BIRD

IT. WAS. THE. BIRD.

rose baby its ok

oh multiple birds into one big birdy

im gonna make a meme out of that

this is kinda scary 

rose askin about trisha maam mind ur business

i like the original broadcast better with ed in cornello’s office not in a dungeon

cornello’s running breathing sounds like me

ok quite a bit of this episode went off the source material but why??? like just to add stuff for the sake of adding stuff/drawing out the story to give the manga more time? i’d be interested to know

shut up rose plz i get it but stop

ope hey envy wassup

episode 3: mother

BABY DEN MY HEART

what are they makin

oh creepy....damn winry i wouldve been freaked too

damn this is a never skip opening im boPPING

DAMN YURIY AND SARA!!!!!! 

“when your dad gets back thank him” trisha maam are you just super optimistic or what??? maybe its just that i KNOW

WHY ARE YOU SO ANGRY AT DADDY LMAOOOOOO

oh fuck yuriy and sara were just here a second ago

EDWARD YOU ARE NOT GONNA MAKE YURIY AND SARA INTO HOMUNCULI GET A FILTER

9 and 10 years old?? didnt trisha die way earlier than that...hold up

yeah i googled it they were like 4 and 5

HOHENHEIM SENT LETTERS???????????????

bitch nah

“aunt pinako” AUNT??? AUNT NO NO NO SHE IS GRANNY PINAKO

RAINCOAT MUSTANG WHAT ARE YOU DOINGGGGG WHY ARE YOU HEREEEEEE WHAT ARE YOU WEARINGGGGG

ok but if raincoat mustang was RIGHT OUTSIDE how did ed and al make it to the rockbells’ house without him stopping them?? 

oh there he is how’d he get in the house

ohhhh so he was tracking hohenheim....still WHAT

roy doesnt live in central sir what u talkin about

“AL YOU’RE ON” WINRY HE ISNT A LAMP

wait was he sleeping? he cant do that

al offering to become the state alchemist? hmm

“you’re no good without me. you just turn into a jerk.” ALPHONSE ELRIC I-he’s right though

ope dont forget 3 oct 11

happy bday elric family house fire

episode 4: a forger’s love

finally an episode with original content/an episode i didn’t watch in 2007!

ok but travis willingham sounds SO YOUNG??

hohenheim’s so called letters are fucking me up i will say

this episode is giving me atla vibes but why

ED WHY R U EATING LIKE A HYENA

majhal ur SUS for some reason

ed my boy why are you drawing circles?

when is this taking place exactly? is this a flashback?

DON’T CALL AL A TRASH CAN 

in a graveyard....not a good look

ghoST LADY

what is majhal’s alchemy bracelet???

Lust were YOU the ghost lady?? damn

OH FUCK MAJHAL

OK I GOT IT its the puppetmaster episode of atla vibes im getting from this im YELLIN my brain is unparalleled 

OBVIOUSLY WITH THE MANNEQUINS HOLY HELL

BELOVED??????? FALLEN LOVE????

CREEP I KNEWWWWWWW YOU WERE SUS

THAT LADY???? WAS HIS GIRLFRIEND???? THIS WHOLE TIME?????

broooooooooo

ED DID YOU JUST STAB THIS GUY??? EDWARD

damn this is messed up his dying breath he still thought his girl was dead too poor karin...

seriously is this a flashback 

im confused when does this take place

episode 5: the man with the mechanical arm

ed on the phone im dead

ed just called him roy im shitting

WAIT TRAIN HEIST ARC??? TRAIN HEIST ARC YESSSSSS

ok so this episode and last episode is all PRE ed getting his state alchemist’s certification???

why...

does ed not get it until he’s like 15 in 03? 

FALMAN??????

HUGHES??????????

MIRACLE OF HORMONES????? 

falman is so snappy WHAT

i like how ed always takes the short comments way further than the original comment lmaoooo

stupid roy ilysm

anyways this train heist arc is a lil different idk

FALMAN IS KILLIN ME who even is he

hahahh aa the guy shot himself lmao

oh no not again what the hell

ED U STUPID

ok but why is hughes dressed like an absolute fucking pirate

i refuse to believe hughes is a good “train walker” 

hughes is not a smooth man

that being said he is a boss bitch

“something crazy up there” oh yes that’s my feral son edward

TURBULENCE???? ED THIS IS A TRAIN

i feel like i need to reread the train heist

im gonna reread it

WAIT WHAT ROY WHAT DID U DO

i need riza to shine baby girl do somethin

ooh flame alchemy

did roy just kill that guy

“remember the pain” roy stfu

HOW OLD ARE ED AND AL RIGHT NOW 

roy mustang is one shady bastard

thoughts so far: im actually enjoying it lol and im gonna continue reacting cause it was fun!!! im excited to see where they take it because the studio was definitely already adding their own stuff this early in the game for sure. 

[thelaudown]

hyouka poly slowburn so its like: (post-anime)

satoshi and mayaka are dating all through highschool and houtarou and eru are maybe a little more invested than friends would normally be, and step in when they have problems to a degree that regular people would call a boundary issue.

houtarou and mayaka still give each other shit at every opportunity, but theyre much more outwardly friendly than before, and if she ever argues w satoshi houtarou is the first to say that theres no way its her fault. maybe one time it is and he confronts her abt it in a way that forces her to take him seriously. its the respect and codependency for me. 

mayaka and satoshi have functioning eyes and houtarous feelings for eru are completely obvious to them. unfortunately shes a little harder to read, so they never really get further than being very close friends and committing to being together for the foreseeable future, as far as this road will take them - its the same dynamic for the entire friend group, but satoshi starts seriously considering a proposal in third year. 

he and mayaka will be seperated through college - she wants to go to art school, he thinks he might like to be a teacher (specifically of like, textiles or language) and he thinks long distance is too much to ask of her. after a serious conversation she agrees and they take a break through college, but they are tentatively engaged, will be keeping in touch, and want to pick things back up once theyre both in the same location again. 

mayaka and eru flat in college, bringing up mayakas long buried feelings for her, and theyve always been so touchy, and she has a feeling that erus guilty about something? but she doesnt want to get her hopes up. she gets really frustrated and confides in the only person who knows both satoshi and mayaka and isnt involved - HOUTAROU, who attends a less prestigious college than eru but is taking similar business courses (he hasnt forgotten) and is commuting from home. 

hes closer to them than satoshi, but theres still a little distance and they dont meet as often as theyd like, partially bc he doesnt often make the effort - the energy he does have is expended on his classes, bc he has a motivation to do well - if he does, maybe eru will consider him without him even putting himself out there. anyway she still calls him on the phone all the time tho. 

he doesnt really have any advice when mayaka speaks to him, but hes quick to reassure her that satoshi wouldnt be bothered by her feelings - "because its eru". functioning adults refer to each other by their first names. it was a super embarassing transition period but theyre used to it now. 

so mayaka takes the leap and eru admits that while shes never really been one to dwell on romantic feelings, she reciprocates but is concerned abt satoshi - she loves him too, after all, and he and mayaka were/are/will be a great couple. she ends up confessing this to houtarou, filled w apologies and assurances that he neednt worry abt her personal matters, but he doesnt mind listening. anyway it stings (in a sad way, not a bitter one) that she apparently has interest in both mayaka and satoshi but not him, but he REALLY cant blame her. he tells her that he doesnt know how to advise her and she thanks him for listening, and then he does probably the most meddlesome thing hes ever done and calls satoshi and tells him everything. 

satoshi is really cool abt it, and hits him w "lol if theyre dating what if i just take you out to lunch. fairs fair. what do you mean you dont know about my massive crush on you, mr observer didnt pick it up? oh wow okay youre really stupid when it comes to yourself. ill pick you up on friday" and then satoshi calls mayaka and gives her his blessing and assures that he loves them both and wishes them the best and wow they REALLY need to catch up soon. hell bring houtarou and they can compare date notes! and he hangs up. 

satoshi is still kind of a petty guy and he probably only confessed to houtarou bc he was taken off guard, but hes not being inauthentic by any means. this is the new improved satoshi 2.0, who is becoming more comfortable w there being things he doesnt like abt himself and working on them and getting his feelings out constructively, rather than pushing them down and refusing to put himself in situations that might turn out badly. he gets his hopes up again, and is happier for it even when hes let down. 

eru is shocked to hear abt houtarou and satoshi. mayaka isnt. they talk abt it, interspersed w making out, and are shocked to realise that they like both of them - mayaka is ESPECIALLY taken off guard, both by her own feelings and erus, which shed never noticed before. she almost tells eru abt houtarous 3+ years of pining, but stops herself lest things get messy. shes starting to get an idea, but needs to tread lightly. besides, its not like houtarou wld ever like her. theyre barely even friends. it doesnt all add up as evenly as shed like. 

for houtarous part, hes genuinely in wtf mode irt satoshis feelings for him, and hes been in eru chitanda hell for so long that he never considered anything else, but now that he IS.... satoshi isnt so bad. he was always really cute w mayaka, when he wasnt being annoying for fun and profit. sure. okay. so they do some gay double dating through college, but the cross couple pining dont stop. satoshi is absolutely still obsessed w mayaka, but houtarou doesnt mind bc he cant take his eyes off eru whenever they meet up either. 

she still calls him on the phone all the time, and when schoolwork picks up he often finds himself calling her w thoughts or questions. they do some more thought exercises, but they dont need to argue as an excuse, and she barely has to badger him anymore. one day he looks at himself and sees a functioning adult who spends a moderate amount of energy on things that arent necessarily necessary, and wants to sigh, but. hes happy. 

college ends and they all find themselves back in kamiyama - satoshi is student teaching at their old middle school, eru is hard at work for her family, mayaka is working while she works on her manga debut, and houtarou is working while he figures out what he actually wants. 

its clear to all of them that mayaka and satoshi need to have a talk, so they do, and they come up with... poly. its unconventional, but they really are happy, and they really do love each other, and mayaka would love to start wearing her ring again (satoshi never took his off, and she pretended not to notice but she had the biggest lady boner over it). 

so now sometimes eru and houtarou are hanging out while their boyfriend and girlfriend are out on dates being engaged, making up for lost time and considering the practicality of marriage while they both have sidepieces, and houtarou and eru are pining BAD, but neither notices the other and he asks how her business is going and maybe kind of offers his assistance platonically. 

so now THATS happening, and satoshi and mayaka get to talking one day abt how those two should date, shld we do smth? and if they did then the only pieces missing are mayaka/houtarou and satoshi/eru which is a beautiful dream but wld never happen, what do you mean he/she wld love to date you, wait really, oh my god, what, are we doing this, 

and houtarou who has been working himself up to confessing for the past SEVEN YEARS, never gets to bc satoshi and mayaka interrupt while theyre at work and do it for him 

[writsgrimmyblog]

Rec List #1 Theme: 2018 Favourites

One of my fandom resolutions is to rec more in 2019. I’m going to post rec lists for some of my favourite Nick fics divided up by theme/content/ship or whatever I fancy throughout the year. It seems fitting that my first rec post of 2019 should be my favourite Nick Fics of 2018. If you’re interested in my Harry Potter themed recs, you can find them over on my other blog @writcraft under the tag #writ recs where I’m undertaking the same initiative.

This is by no means an exhaustive list - I’m limiting myself to ten recs per list and it is very difficult, I could have recced many more. I’ve read and enjoyed a whole raft of terrific stories and this rec list is simply based on my personal tastes which may not be everybody else’s cuppa. Please heed the content warnings the author has flagged on AO3 in each case, none of my recs include the content tags.

#1. Ten Track Sophomore Album by @junkshop-disco​ 

Nick Grimshaw/Harry Styles | 4,228

Nick has always lived in noise, been the cause of a lot of it, but one day a boy writes him into a pop song and the whole world dissolves into static.

It doesn’t happen like that, not that easy, not that linear, but that’s the heart of it, the soul, if these things have such a thing.

My Rec: The Nick fic of 2018 is undoubtedly the final installment of junkshop-disco’s incredible Doodle of a Surface Life but that has quite rightly garnered so many recs by now if any Gryles reader hasn’t yet indulged, run, quick, what are you waiting for? I love DOASL with all of my heart, but I’m also a sucker for angst and I wanted to highlight this equally terrific fic in my rec list. The structure of this story, in which Nick loses his ability to hear music, is so cleverly done. It’s a very skilled writer that can create an entire fic around sound and make it come alive, and junkshop-disco manages it brilliantly. The fic reads like music, even as it describes the absence of it and it’s a stunning piece of writing. If you like your Gryles contemplative and angsty with confident, lyrical prose, this is the one for you. Junkshop-disco has such a terrific way with words I highly recommend reading all the works by this author. Every single one. But when you do make sure you take a moment to stop by this beautiful story and leave it all the love it deserves.

#2. Tell Me It’s The Strongest Shape by @louandhazaf

Nick Grimshaw/Elgar Johnson/Louis Tomlinson | 73,224

Nick and Elgar have it all. They’re famous, successful, and engaged to be married—and sometimes they play with others.

When uni student Louis gets street cast by Elgar for a GQ photoshoot, he's drawn into Nick and Elgar’s complicated relationship.

They've always invited mates into their bed. It doesn’t ever mean anything. Until… it does.

My Rec: This is such a great exploration of polyamory and the complexities of open relationships, and the author took a great deal of time developing the relationships between the characters and really working on highlighting some of those difficulties. I tend to gravitate towards fanfic where I care deeply about the characters, and although Elgar seems terrific I don’t have the same fannish relationship to him as I do to Nick and Louis so I was curious to know how I would respond to this fic. Basically, the author killed it. I felt such a deep investment in Elgar, Nick and Louis throughout and everything just flew by as I was reading. It’s also really fucking hot. Like, REALLY. Brilliantly done. I loved it. 

#3. Let The Boys All Sing And The Boys All Shout For Tomorrow by @lunarrua​

Nick Grimshaw/Harry Styles | 18,429

It's February 1988. Thatcher is in power. There's a new drug sweeping through the clubbing scene. In Manchester, it's the eve of a major protest and a new musical movement. And when Nick finds Harry looking lost outside his favourite chip shop, it's the start of a weekend that will leave an indelible mark on both their lives.

My Rec: I saw the summary for this fic and actually yelled at my screen when it popped into my inbox. Gryles, set in Manchester in the 80s? Hell yes. The fic itself certainly didn’t disappoint, it’s absolutely beautiful. The author writes a well-researched, confident piece and the result is stunning. The atmosphere of the whole story is captivating and you can feel yourself transported to the heady days before the Manchester music scene shifted, the anxieties of the AIDS crisis and the fragility of the relationships formed during that period. The Harry of this fic has a transient quality which evokes the nostalgic reflection on a different time in our not so distant past. A real triumph. I loved this story with my whole heart. 

#4. Séjour by @silveredsound

Nick Grimshaw/Louis Tomlinson | 6,288

It is so quiet, which should be conducive to concentration, but Nick is bored and listless and lonely. He’s been there for two days and wants to know where the helpful lady is who’ll deliver him a gamine but takes-no-shit housekeeper who he can fall in love with without words. Words are not his friend.

“Where is my Love Actually moment?” he asks the ceramic kitchen sink as he pokes holes in the cover of one of the M&S ready meals he brought over with him.

«≠»

Nick’s got writer's block. Louis is a master of distraction.

My Rec: I’ve loved a number of stories by Silv this year and I was swinging back and forth between this and others, but there’s something about this little fic that has wormed its way into my heart and has taken hold so this is the one I’m choosing. As I said in my earlier reblog rec, this has such lush, evocative prose it perfectly captures the sense of a fleeting summer. There’s a seductive quietness to it, and a lovely unfolding of the story through snippets of tasting notes left by Louis on bottles of wine and Nick feeling a little bit lost and searching for words as he struggles with writer’s block. Two boys find one another in the warmth of a sleepy French town and it’s beautiful. Really wonderfully done.

#5. Fists & Flowers ‘Verse by @jiksax

Nick Grimshaw/Harry Styles | 1,613 (Make It Worse) and 2,322 (I’ll Do What You Like (If You Stay The Night)

He’s looking at Nick with that soft, terrible look in his eyes, the look that tells Nick the two of them are probably something.

My Rec: If anyone other than Jiksa had told me they were planning an angsty fisting fic series I would have been like umm really? But of course, it’s Jiksa, so naturally I found myself sobbing at the raw, devastating intensity of the story. Jiksa deftly weaves the intensity of the physical act itself into the emotional tumult of Harry and Nick’s relationship in a way that’s incredibly beautiful. A bold, brave, superb piece of hot, confident writing, rich with emotional complexity. Gorgeous.

#6. Constantly on the Cusp by @shiftylinguini

Nick Grimshaw/Louis Tomlinson | 6169

It’s 5 in the morning, and Nick’s got an alarm going off, an unexpected bed full of pop star, and a nation to wake up.

It’s far too fucking early for this.

My Rec: UNFFFFF. I love Shifty’s writing. Like, an obsessive amount. I was so thrilled when Shifty started writing Tomlinshaw I didn’t know quite what to do with myself. It’s actually hard to believe this was Shifty’s first Tomlinshaw, because everything about the fic felt like they have been writing them for years. Louis is sleepy, horny and pissed off, Nick is awake, horny and wondering what it all means, and together they have this scorching hot, sexy moment. Nick’s internal monologue  gives us so much insight into their relationship and the fic offers a lovely, warm, hopeful moment at the end. Fantastically written and a sexy delight from start to finish. Loved it!

#7. this cookie’s baking by @disgruntledkittenface 

Nick Grimshaw/Harry Styles (Genderswap Femslash) | 8,148

Harry’s eyes flicker between Nick’s eyes and lips. “I just want to be your–”

“Baby,” Nick says softly, cupping Harry’s jaw, “you already are.”

Nick and Harry have a long-overdue conversation.

My Rec: This was the first genderswap Gryles fic I have read and I absolutely loved it. The relationship between Nick and Harry feels so perfectly them and there’s a lovely warmth to the whole story. It’s light and funny but also contains moments of real emotional depth and those first time explorations and the hesitancy of admitting to being something more than friends is handled in such a terrific way. It’s a gorgeous story with wonderful writing and I loved every minute of reading it.

#8. let’s make some new rules by @camiii 

Nick Grimshaw/Louis Tomlinson | 12,743

A coffee shop, a Christmas party & a fake date to make sure no one gets laid at the end of the night.

My Rec: This was such an enjoyable read. I love camiii’s Tomlinshaw, and seeing this pop up was a wonderful surprise. Barista Louis agrees to be Nick’s fake boyfriend as he pines over an ex that definitely isn’t worth his time, and they become closer in the process. The pace of the story is wonderful, the flirting is brilliant and despite some misunderstandings and Nick’s no good ex trying to fuck things up, the ending is warm and hopeful. A lovely story, full of festive cheer. Thoroughly enjoyable.

#9. I’ll be seeing you by @daretomarvel​ / renlyne

Nick Grimshaw/Harry Styles | 11,481

It’s 2028, and Nick’s bought a house.

My Rec: I love Ren’s writing and this Notebook inspired Gryles is a beautiful treat of a story, in which Nick starts buying little bits for his dream house. It’s hard to believe this story is just over 11,000 words because the world the author creates is so rich, detailed, layered and complex. The relationship between Nick and Harry has all of these gorgeous details and nuggets of history as it grows and develops, seedling-like, into something that might just be everything they’ve both been searching for. It’s a warm, hopeful, beautiful story but as it’s Ren, it manages to still tug at the heartstrings in the best kind of way. I read this again as I was putting my rec list together and did so with a lump in my throat, full of feels for the Nick and Harry of Ren’s universe. Gorgeous writing with bags of emotional intensity. I loved it.

#10. All I’ve ever had are love songs by @candybarrnerd / icarusinflight

Nick Grimshaw/Louis Tomlinson | 21,688

Things are finally coming together for Nick.

Nick is the DJ of his uni's radio stations, and he passively aggressively dedicates a song to Louis.

My Rec: Icarusinflight is another author who was already on my periphery from Harry Potter fandom who wrote their first Tomlinshaw fic this year and I was so thrilled to see them writing in this fandom and I’m very excited about their upcoming 2019 projects which also includes fics featuring the 1D boys in various ship combos. I love uni AUs and I hadn't read one for a while, so this was such a treat. I loved how Louis is sharp, sassy and confident but with niggling insecurities. Harry was so affectionately humorous in this story and Nick’s voice is wonderful. This is a really well-paced, enjoyable story with a hot af first kiss that deserves a mention all of its own. The music references, the tea and the cameos from various 1D members are all terrific and the writing is brilliant. Can’t wait for more from this author this year.

Bonus Rec: I was meant to limit this to just 10 recs but I also wanted to give a quick shout out to @nightwideopen. I’ve said this in previous rec lists before, but I am constantly impressed by the quality of @nightwideopen‘s writing and the way they explore things such as asexuality and gender dysphoria which can be harder to find in a relatively small fandom. I’d particularly rec so far (it’s alright) and i’ve been thinking lots about your mouth from this year, both Tomlinshaw.

[serenavonromvesen]

September 21st, 2019.

I really don’t know where else to vent but on tumblr. I have always used tumblr as an outlet for venting and I’m reaching a point where I really just need to write out how I’m feeling, without cramping my hand writing with pen and paper.

I feel really lonely as far as friends go. I have an AMAZING group of friends, but so many of them live far away. I have my tribe and I feel I will always have that, but its never the same as having lady friends, I literally have like three or four ladyfriends that I can actually hang out with in person, and only one of them is someone I didnt meet through my boyfriend first. its not that I have anything I want to share behind him, its that I always feel like on some level they’re always more his friend than mine- and at that, I didn’t choose most of them to be in my life, they were given to me. don’t get me wrong, I’m SO grateful for anyone I do have currently in my life. I just don’t have any friends who truly understand me, and especially not that are into the things that I am. I would love so much to be able to be friends with another tattoo model in my area, and ACTUALLY genuinely have a real friendship. I emphasize ‘genuinely’ because this industry is FULL of backstabbing bitches that would throw you in front of a bus to get one more step ahead of you. I just want a girl I can hang out with all the time SO bad. and the one person here who is awesome, works like ALLLLL the time. it sucks pretty bad when you only have one true friend and they end up getting way too busy for you. she’s supposed to move away anyways she said, so I guess I better get used to it now anyways. I’m just so sad of having no girls to actually hang out with. Skyping with my best friend is great, but it just isnt the same- and a lot of time I do get put aside compared to actually going to hang out with people anyways. which i dont have here.

now, I’m SUPER introverted, nervous, shy, socially awkward AND anxious, and sometimes I have a hard time making normal conversation. in fact, I am always secretly bothered by the fact that I’m PRETTY SURE i have some form of Autism, but I would never actually say that I am being diagnosed, but I am terrified to find out. I once emailed a place to ask some questions and set an appointment, but I never heard back.. that was i think last year. Anyways, I don’t want a ton of friends or anything. I dont want to hang out every day- it’s exhausting. but I still want the option to be able to call someone up in those rare days where I do feel like going outside or seeing people, to actually have fun. I used to have that in New Jersey, my group of girls that I hang with an we all really support each other. I miss them so bad. I am SO homesick for like, the last two years now. I try not to think about it if I can help it, but I miss my friends, I miss my mom.. I hate that I’m missing my baby cousins grow up, I hate that I’ve FINALLY made a connection with some of my cousins and now I’ll rarely ever see them, I hate that I can’t do body suspensions more often, I hate that I don’t get to see my brother Sean when he visits... but most of all I do HATE New Jersey and could never live there. I just wish so bad it hadn’t been like 4-5 years since I’ve seen my friends and family. it hurts. I’m so homesick for just the strong friendships I have.

I just...know its possible. I know its possible to have the small group of friends I want. I just wish girls weren’t so...mean and competitive. I just feel so lonely. I feel like I don’t have anyone to hang out with thats a female. why is everyone so far away? I’m home alone all day every day. you’d think a puppy wouldve made me feel less alone, but really I’m a thousand times more stressed than ever. I wanted to move for a fresh start, to breathe, so enjoy peace...and as soon as I got here everyones over all the time and it just reminds me how I dont have friends of my own, and how my friends dont come to visit me, and how I never get a second to myself. I finally got the chance and heres this puppy. i love him with my life but I AM SO STRESSED!!! I’m with him 10-14 hours a day by myself and then half of the time I’m still the one dealing with him at the crack of dawn, too. I never get time alone unless he sleeps and then I have to walk on eggshells to not wake him up- AND I DIDN’T EVEN FUCKING WANT THIS!!! when I was forced to give up my other pupper, Hades, I said I never wanted a puppy again because IT IS TOO MUCH FOR ME. it puts me on edge and greatly disrupts my bipolar. i literally CANT handle it. I said I would get a dog no younger than 2 years old. I wanted a border coli so bad, maybe even a doberman because I still miss my old dog Max SO MUCH! I like bigger dogs and never really was a big fan of little dogs. I like a dog I can give a whole ass hug to, and feel protected by when I walk alone down a street with him. but no, Michael had to choose, he wanted a puppy, he wanted a small-type pure bred dog which means it’ll be twice as expensive twice as often with vet visits. but he wanted it. he insisted. and now, here we are, just like scooping the litter boxes for all 4 cats, its pretty much almost entirely left on me to do. for so so long I told myself “well he works and I dont really work, I’m home all day and hes not here much to have the time for it.” but you know what I realized? That when I worked full time at Starbucks, or when I worked two jobs at both the Smoke Shoppe AND Spencers, that I still put in the same amount of work as all of this- I was still expected to do all of this. at that, I am SO SICK AND TIRED of him asking me EVERY FUCKING DAY “will you mop today? will you do the laundry? will you do that dogs medicine? will you change the cat boxes?” periodically throughout every morning. like oh, I didn’t realize that I was a fucking 4 year old that needs direction on needing to do basic fucking cleaning tasks!!!!! the only reason I dont get to half that stuff most of the time is that I’m annoyed as fuck at being told what to do / treated that way, and that by the time he leaves for work theres been a whole fucking list of shit lined up that I now feel EXPECTED to do before hes home from work. it literally aggravates me SO MUCH just typing about it because im so fucking pissed off that he does this EVERYMOTHERFUCKINGDAY. it makes me feel angry and completely overwhelmed and then I just spend my entire day dreading it then rushing to do it right before he gets home from work. I just fucking hate it. like I’m fucking 25 years old, I know what the fuck to do to keep the fucking house clean, thanks.

at that, between the no friends, the fucking belittlement of being given a verbal list of chores every day, and the stress from puppy I absolutely did NOT ask for, I am feeling so depressed. I wanted a new house so I could ENJOY it, but instead any moment in my backyard is spent trying to get the puppy to stop eating random crap the people before us left- like glass, I cant enjoy how the inside looks because theres puppy training pads all over the floor which the floor is always dirty because of being in and out of the house with the puppy, or just even a moment of peace at all. like literally this defeated the whole entire purpose of wanting to move. its still a gazillion times better than the trailer, I still totally love this house, but because of my stress and loneliness level, I feel nearly just as depressed as before.

what doesnt help is lately Michael has been SO negative abut things. it’s like when I finally am enjoying myself, he comes through like a wrecking ball being negative, depressing, unsupportive, argumentative, and just plain giving off vibes that make me feel so down. He still makes me feel super happy like 98% of the time, but it is such a downer when hes being super negative about EVERYTHING. or when he gets my hopes up about things and then goes back on his word. he LOVES to tell me yes to shut me up then saying no when it becomes real, a mega part of why I haven’t gotten to visit my family in 4 years. and then he makes me feel SO bad about it. he has no problem bragging to everyone about a vacation, but when its just us suddenly its “I have to do this on my own” and “it’s expensive” like really? thanks for bragging about it for two months, waiting until we have it a month away to tell me its 100% on me to plan it, then complain about everything I tried to plan, WHILE making me feel like a complete and utter loser that I’m a failure at everything I try to do so now I don’t make any money. I literally fucking hate myself again. that’s where I’m at. I’m starting to find my body, my hair, my face- all of it repulsive. I hate how I look. I hate my hair and how my dreads are all lose, but I have to ask him for money to be able to fix my hair. he always tells me just ask and it isnt a problem but then when I do want to do things he makes me wait ages and puts it off or flat out complains- or if it all goes smoothly he throws it in my face the first fight we have. I just feel like such a fucking loser, that’s getting uglier by the day. and when I finally worked up the courage to go to the gym, its like pulling teeth to get him to go- I’ve been asking for a year and we STILL haven’t gone. I want to be a breakdancer SO BAD and I’ll never get to do that if I can’t go to the gym to work out. he tells me to just go but he doesnt understand that being a woman alone in public these days you’re at extreme risk of being raped and 10/10 multiple dudes will trying saying gross things and hitting on you/catcalling. I wish so so so so so bad I could go out for a day and have not a soul talk to me or look at me. what a dream that would be. I just cant go alone. its literally dangerous. scary.

I just feel so STUCK. I want to make money so I can contribute to the house and pay for what I need MYSELF. I never ever liked being someone who fully depends on someone like that. hell, a decade ago I refused to let anyone even get me a simple drink from a convenience store. it still feels uncomfortable to have to be like this. I want to be able to take care of myself. to know that if it was just me that I wouldnt just...be out on the streets. now I’m getting married and its a great relief that thats a less legitimate fear, but I still want to be able to take care of myself so that I could help my babe. he works SO hard for us and spends SO much money taking care of us, I just want to be able to pay my part of that and make HIS life easier, so that we BOTH can do more things that we like instead of just paying bills till the next check. I feel so useless and worthless. but everything I try to do I just fail at, or I’m too depressed and just lose the passion for it. or the will to do nearly anything. I really thought moving was going to change everything for me but... I feel nearly just as depressed. the environment change has definitely helped but, it didn’t suddenly cure my depression like I hoped for..

I just feel so alone, in like, literally everything I try to do. I feel like I don’t fit in anywhere. when I do think I fit in, it just turns out to be a delayed rejection. I swear I get screwed over and stabbed in the back more often than anyone I’ve ever met in my life. I’m easily forgotten and definitely easy to fuck over. I just wish people werent so hateful and selfish... all I want is to have female friends I can actually hang out with, have some help with my puppy, to talk to my fiance without him thinking I’m having an argument, to workout so I can dance, and to do something I love that makes me happy that I can make money with. I feel like I failed as a model too. I make all these plans and then.. I can never accomplish them. I often think, is it worth it really? to compete with all these girls when I dont care about competition? to be screwed over because I’m an opponent to everyone I wish I was friends with? to try and build working-relationships with photographers who seem to forget about me before I even get my pictures back? to not be paid for modeling when I spent tons of money on clothes for shoots? to not have my name out there after a year and a half? to not even be able to find a photographer that wants to shoot for publication? or be told I’m not inked enough to shoot again (the day after I got tattooed?)? I just feel like a failure. I spent over a thousand dollars on clothes for shoots, plus all traveling expenses, to have only ever profited $50 one time and then never get my edited photos back. I just feel like I’m not worth anything, that I can’t contribute or make money without making myself excessively unhappy working jobs I hate- only to be belittled there too.

I don’t even care about social media anymore. I don’t care to check instagram or post on it. why? so I can spend two hours doing makeup so I could post a selfie to write another caption telling everyone that “one day” I’ll do more? what’s the point? If only I had someone I could invite over to talk to about it :( I just feel so...unexcited by everything. like Stan in the episode about shit. I’m bored, I feel gross, I feel lonely, I’m overwhelmingly stressed, I’m growing to hate myself again, and I feel like I don’t have the positive influence I need to get better. I WANT to get better, I just need help and I don’t have anyone I feel I could reach out to that could actually help me. I just really need a friend...

[chicleeblair]

this became a long ass post so going to give you the bullet points and then cut. (One quick thing I can't find a place for, I paused the episode to read the article on liv's iPad and it mentioned baracas was still in the hospital, how much work do you think Phil margraves put in to keep his zombiism quiet???) ▪︎why is Weckler's daughter a zombie? ▪︎please stop making mental illness a joke or an annoyance thank ▪︎did u really have to make liv's heterosexuality explicit? rly? ▪︎is baracas's kid a zombie? ▪︎did wecker steal the card for Baracas or Fillmore Graves? ▪︎when did weckler's wife die and did he know of fillmore graves then? ▪︎why? a threat to Tatum or something else for her? ▪︎is he basically FG's major? ▪︎speaking of, i don't know where shawna came from, but she sure as hell didnt go to that camp ▪︎even if weckler worked for FG from the start why steal for them? also why not zombie? speculation and a few more thoughts and theories: i liked this episode for it's weaving of plots, continuity nods, and because i like getting to see Liv's visions from the outside every once in a while. it also made me realize that we haven't had much voiceover lately, and I missed it. The return of AJ was cool--i love that we always know prisoners brought in as witnesses--and the reveal that not only are Tatum and her friend a zombie, they're somehow connected to Filmore Graves. I do wish the show would stop putting hallucinations in for laughs. they could at least balance it out with one episode that really delves into taking on a typical psyche, because even the agoraphobia one was fairly late. Also all the PTSD brains have been soldiers and aside from there being tons of other types of people who develop it, their military bearing has always overshadowed the ptsd. finally, I could do without the unnecessary assertion of liv's heterosexuality, especially in a statement that evokes the awful trope of "straight girl really wishes she could be in love with her bestie, but she's too thirsty for peen." unnecessary, especially in a show that could have kept blaming the brains whenever she shows interest in ladies, but leaving the question of if Liv truly swings both ways ambiguous. (plus, frankly 'sorry, Peyton i'm not attracted to you,' doesn't HAVE to be followed up by, 'because you're not a man." i really think they straight up made a choice to annihilate all "liv isnt totally straight!" headcanons--though at least she said "men" not "dicks." thank you standards and practices, here's my petition to make Revolving Door Boyfriend #4 trans* fwiw, I think James Weckler killed Roxanne on behalf of Baracas. I'm not sure how they connected, but I bet that his employer--be it Filmore Graves or Baracas directly--turnes Tatum in return. What wouldn't a man who feels that guilty over his wife's death do for his daughter? Between the prison psychiatrist saying he couldn't afford Rozanne and the speed of his confession--like he'd been told to do so--maybe his employer said they'd get him out, but I bet he knew he'd be eliminated. Also, this scenario makes me thing Baracas had some influence on the plan, b/c he knows the lengths a parent will go to for their kid. i do wonder if Weckler's self-blame is survivor's guilt, if someone forced him to cause his wife's death, or if he found out later FG or another entity caused the accident because of something he did or to show they were a threat. do we know how long ago the wife died? if it was a while ago I might think he wa connected to Filmore Graves long before the zombie stuff--before he had a family maybe?--and either went to them after she died or they found him. (would they have any reason to need a human? did they plan to leave Roxanne alive/l not infected?). if a former FG employee thought his daughter was in danger, i could see him approaching them for protection. i could even see her having cancer or something--or injured when her mom died?-- and him hoping FG could pull strings to get her better care and discovering they could do more than that. a kid's health is a particularly intense motivator. it would definitely explain things since he wasn't infected, but Tatum knew about a "they." maybe some of her discomfort is guilt. if he wasn't affiliated with FG, i could see them seeking out a pawn who could be so easily manipulated. if he was working for FG not just Baracas, i wonder if he "took care" of anything else and wasn't caught. i'm not sure if i believe FG had anything to do with Wally's death, but if they did I could see them manipulating Wecker or some other desperate person who wouldn't be immediately connected to them. i also think the his relationship to his employee will parallel Major's & Max Rager especially because of how many references we've been getting to the chaos killer and the Max Rager kidnapping victims. shawna may fit into that somehow, too. I wish we knew how long ago her letter had been sent, because that would help determine if she is affiliated with Fillmore graves or someone else. or maybe they got to him through Tatum. maybe that friend or someone else affiliated w/FG infected her and made Weckler work for them in return for keeping her in brain yogurt or Occam's razor, he worked tor FG (most likely in one of the non-combat positions), took on a new position post infection. maybe even before--they could have needed a clean-up grunt long before being zombies. FG takes care of Tatum b/c she's still one of them--which is complicated if they killed Wally--her discomfort with Clive and Liv could be b/c she wants to lash out at the "them" her father died for but the risk is too high--again especially if they orchestrated Wally's death, or even if she thinks they did. there is one more detail that complicates things: why do these girls know Liv is a zombie, but not that she's with the police. if they saw her before due to Fillmore Graves they'd be more likely to know that before knowing she was infected, right? *do zombie kids age? this affects my theory, and since they introduced a teen zombie in the same episode that opens with a mention of Buck, and had truther wonder if zombies aged suggests to me that we should also ask that question. **fwiw i don't think they'll kill Justin, b/c they're a bit more savvy than some shows/doing that would be really repetitive, but I could see him riding off into the sunset...