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#WITH HER SO THERE WAS THIS BEAUTIFUL STRUGGLE GOING ON
luveline · 2 days
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hello my love!! could you maybe show us what bedtime is like in the kbd universe? thank you, you’re incredible <3
kbd —dad!steve and mom!reader get their small family ready for bed. 3k
“She looks so pretty,” Avery whispers. 
Steve struggles to pull the hem of his sock over his ankle, crossing his legs to match her as she snaps an apple slice in half with her fingers, the juice wetting her pyjama top, her torso swaying as his knee bumps into hers. “Who?” Steve asks, blinking. 
“Wren,” Avery says, leaning back to let Steve see the baby where she’s napping in her bouncer. Avery shoves a chunk of apple in her mouth. “She’s pw-ery.” 
“Try not to talk with your mouth full, you might choke.” 
Avery nods, closing her mouth to chew up the rest of her food with chipmunk cheeks. 
Steve draws a little heart into her knee. She has a bruise from falling up the stairs a few days ago like a purple ink blot just under her kneecap, but she hasn’t complained. She didn’t cry when she fell, she just got back up and asked for a Capri-Sun. Steve’s surprised she’s so hardy, but she’s getting older. He’d sort of been hoping she’d want him to kiss it better.
“She’s pretty like her big sister,” he says. 
“I’m glad she’s stopped crying all the time.” 
“Me too.” He takes one of the smaller slices from her plate to eat, wiping juice from her cheek as he does. 
She grins. “Thank you.” 
“You’re welcome. You all done?” 
“Yep.” 
“Not hungry anymore?” 
“Nope.” She grabs her plate before he can. “I’ll put it in the sink.” 
“Thanks, beautiful.” 
She jumps up with her empty plate and does a spin, saying, “Who, me?” 
Steve laughs like an idiot, still chuckling to himself as the sound of her plate hitting the kitchen sink reaches his ears. Wren, finally out of her sleep regression (for now), doesn’t wake. All good signs of a good night. 
Steve lets his head fall back onto little legs. “What about you?” he asks Dove, the second youngest daughter, where she sits behind him on the couch. 
She hums under her breath, her hands quick to weave into his hair, petting it away from his face. He waits for an answer he doesn’t get, closing his eyes and turning his face into her knee. Her giggles are treacle sweet. “Don’t sleep,” she protests. 
“I’m tired.” 
“It’s not bed time.” 
She’s not gonna like what Steve’s about to tell her, if that’s the case. She had a screaming tantrum last night about bed time where she threw herself on the floor and whacked her hands until her palms turned bright red. He’s not wanting a repeat. 
“It is bed time,” he says gently, though it’s not for another half an hour, “but, I was thinking, because you’ve been so good today you’d stay up extra. Maybe even have hot cocoa before bed.” Steve turns to meet her eyes. “How’s that sound?” 
“Really?” she asks, her eyes blowing wide with excitement. Steve is starting to wonder if she’s not as mini-me as he used to think, growing into sweeter features as she leaves the baby-toddler stage and starts to look like a kid. He loves it. 
“That sound fun or what?” 
She dives at him. He has enough sense to have twisted and catches her before she can break any of his teeth. “You are the best daddy ever!” she declares seriously, almost tipping over his shoulder. 
He lets her dangle for a second, then yanks her back topside. “You’re my best girl, that’s why. Let’s go make the drinks. Actually, we better go see who else wants some.” 
You and Bethie are attempting some last minute crafts at the dining table, and you’re very interested in hot chocolate but Beth doesn’t like it and so, doesn’t want any. She does seem interested in a glass of milk with a couple of chocolate chip cookies, so it’s nearly the same thing. “Careful,” he says, putting the half a pint of milk down in front of her birdhouse cautiously, “you don’t wanna spill that, baby.” 
“Who says she’s gonna spill it?” you ask. 
“Don’t start with me,” Steve warns. 
You smile to yourself. You’ve a spatula for PVA glue in your hand, skins of glue dried to your fingertips flecked with splinters of wood. Lollipop crafts felt like a good idea when he’d suggested it, but then he didn’t actually want to do it, and you’d been kind enough to step in. I’m sick of mess, he’d confided. 
Well, you’d said, somewhere between a quick kiss pressed to his shoulder and your hand rubbing it away, you probably shouldn’t have asked me to have so many kids. 
I love mess, he’d corrected immediately. Love to make more of it someday. 
“We’re nearly done in time for bed,” you assure him now. 
“I told Dove she could have an extra half an hour.” He winks at you clumsily. 
“Oh, really? Well, maybe Beth and Avery should get some extra time too.” 
Beth dunks her cookie into the top of her cup. “No thanks. I’m tired. Can I sleep with Avery again?” she asks, milk dribbling down the sides of the glass to darken the coaster underneath. 
“You’ll have to ask her yourself,” Steve says. “Wait, where is she? I thought she was in here.” Something grabs him by the legs, a sudden clutching that activates a heat in his eyes and spine he can’t explain. He flinches sideways into a cabinet and almost steps on a rather small limb. “What the fuck.” 
“Boo!” Avery says, laughing brightly as Steve rights himself on the counter. 
“Avery! Did I step on you? I’m sorry,” he says, immediately bending down. “What were you thinking? I could’ve really hurt you!” 
“Daaad, I was just pulling a prank,” she says. 
He checks over the arm he was so sure he’d stepped on. “You okay?” 
“She’s fine,” you say. “Yeah?” 
“I’m fine!” She hugs his legs again. “You said a super bad word.” 
He was hoping everybody missed that. “Dove–”
“Dad,” Dove interrupts, kicking her little feet exactly where he left her sitting on the dinner table by your left, “bad words make me cry.” She says it all clunky and clumsy, having heard it enough times. Her Aunt Robin has a potty-mouthed girlfriend, and Steve can’t do damage control quick enough sometimes.
“No, it’s when you say bad words daddy cries,” Avery says. 
“I didn’t say one!” 
“I know! I just mean it’s not when dad says it.” 
“What?” Dove asks. “He did says it.”
You’re grinning. You love when Dove confuses herself, all kids go through it, where half the time they don’t know what they’re saying until you help them along, but you love Dove’s new phase especially because she’s always been so serious. “What Avery is telling you, baby, is that daddy doesn’t get upset when he says bad words because he’s a grown up.” 
“So when we’re older we can cuss too?” Bethie asks. 
Steve’s jaw drops. “No, Beth! No, none of you need to say bad words, and I don’t either, and I’m really sorry. Can we forget about it?” 
Steve makes hot chocolate and helps you clean the sorry mess you’ve made on the table, and, after some light teasing, everybody forgets he’d reacted so violently to Avery’s surprise. Well, almost. Dove is the first to succumb to a case of the sleepies despite being otherwise reluctant to give in, sitting on his thigh, marshmallows still whole in her drink. She’d barely managed four sips. 
Steve cuddles her to his chest, covering her ear where she nuzzles against him from the sounds of your and Avery’s giggling. “He went pale,” you’re saying. 
Beth offers Steve half of one of her cookies. “You didn’t,” she says. 
If he didn’t have his arms full of Dove he’d scoop her up. “Thank you, Beth. I love you.” 
“I love you too.” 
“Alright,” you say, twining your fingers and sliding them behind your head, your neck and back clicking audibly in the quiet of the Harrington house winding down, “I think it’s bedtime. Are you done with your drink?” 
You rinse the cups. Steve ferries Dove upstairs, has her down and tucked in in record time, soon enough to catch you as you and the rest of the girls make your way upstairs. Beth and Avery are beautifully silent, weary of their sensitive baby sister where she’s cradled to your chest. 
You attempt to put her down in her crib in your room, but Steve gets the feeling you aren’t successful when a crackly cry breaks out. 
“Oh, no,” Avery says. 
“It’s fine. Let’s go brush our teeth, okay? Mommy has it.” 
They brush their teeth. Steve wipes their faces down with a damp hand towel and has a moment of gratitude just touching their faces. They both look so loved, the way their eyes crinkle, the way they lift their chins, all too happy for Steve to do it. He loves these moments of being a dad most, he might say, second only to getting to talk to them, especially now they’re both holding conversation. They talk to each other none stop; Beth talks to Avery ten times as much as she does anyone else. 
“Are you having a sleepover again?” Steve asks. 
Beth turns to Avery pleasingly. “Can I? Please, please, please.” 
“Yes!” Avery says, big sister extraordinaire. She wraps her arms around Beth’s shoulders, taller, more aware of herself as she presses her cheek to Beth’s and mumbles, “Of course you can. I love you. I want us to have sleepovers every night.” 
You emerge from the bedroom victorious, heading into the bathroom as he and the girls come out. “I’m just gonna brush my teeth,” you say. 
“Gonna get Beth changed.” 
“Okay, I put her nightie on the foot of her bed earlier.” 
It’s routine but not without enjoyment. He makes sure they’re both comfortable in the night's sleepwear and takes care of their hair, before giving Avery’s room a quick half-clean and shaking out the sheets on her bed. Avery has the second biggest bedroom, though Bethie’s is nothing to turn your nose up at, and it gets Steve thinking as they climb up into Avery’s single bed. 
“I think it’s good for you guys to keep your separate rooms for now,” Steve says tentatively, “but what do you think about sharing?” 
The plan was that Dove and Wren would share, but if Avery and Beth are getting along so well, it might not hurt to ask. 
Beth gasps. “Our bedrooms?” 
“Like, you and Avery could both sleep in here. You have a bunk bed, or we could get you a big one to share, and you could share teddies.” 
“I don’t want to share my teddies,” Avery says. 
“Well, you don’t have to. I’m not gonna make you.” Steve squints at them both. “Bad idea?” 
“I want to share,” Beth says immediately. 
Avery has a better understanding of what that will mean. “Maybe.” 
“You don’t have to,” Steve says. “Your rooms are yours, okay? Maybe we can just get you a bigger bed anyways, Ave. You’re so tall now, in a couple of years you’ll be ten feet tall and we’ll have to bend you in half to get you to school.” 
This is the funniest thing a man could say, apparently —both Beth and Avery burst into girly giggles that ring down the landing. Beth sounds like she might be sick. She laughs so much, falling into Avery’s side as her big sister says, “Dad, that’s silly!” 
“I can show you, if you want. We’ll practise making you into an Avery flavour pretzel, c’mere.” 
She squeals and climbs over Beth’s legs to huddle in the corner of her bed. Steve doesn’t so much as touch her legs and she’s laughing again, panicked, hyper laughter like she can’t decide if she wants to be folded or not. He presses his finger over his smile. “Shh, shh, we can’t wake the babies.” 
“Sorry,” she laughs. 
“My fault. Don’t be sorry.” He gives her leg a squeeze. “How about we start to tuck you in, girls? Do we have everything we need?” 
Beth wants a few things from her own bed, but besides that, they’re ready. Well, they’re supposed to be ready, but Steve wound them up and it’s his own fault, he can’t even complain when they beg him to watch a movie. What’s the harm? he decides, turning on Avery’s TV and pushing their favourite tape into the VHS player. 
“The effect FernGully has on the new generation is amazing,” you say, wiping your eyes. You’ve changed into pyjama pants Steve’s sure you’ve had since you met him and a tank top with straps falling down your shoulders. He wants to pull them back over the curve of your shoulder, but he’s trying to be less smothering.
He fluffs the pillows behind the girls’ backs. “It’s the boy. What’s his name? Dennis? Daniel?” 
“Neither.” You put a fallen teddy back on the bed and turn on Avery’s star-shaped night light before flicking off the big light above. The TV glows green on their legs. 
“Gonna lie down?” Steve says, gentler now, easing them in. 
Avery flops back. Beth curls in on her side, and it reminds Steve of you and him. He can sleep any which way. You’re slightly more particular, but you’re happier curled on to him. He really loves how close they are as sisters, and he has to give Avery some credit, because while Beth is exceedingly easy to love, she’s a clinger, she worships her big sister, which must get heavy from time to time. 
Avery pulls the blankets up over them before Steve can do it himself. He sighs, tucking them both in. Blankets pushed gently under their sides, hair brushed back from their little faces, he says, “Love you, Ave. Love you, Beth,” kissing their foreheads in swift succession. “I’ll see you in the morning, okay?” 
“Love you, daddy,” they say at the same time. 
You touch his arm gently before leaning in for your own kisses. You’re slower than he’d been, turning their faces in your hand one after the other to place identical kisses on their cheeks. “Love you, sweetheart,” you say to Avery, and, “Love you, baby,” you say to Beth. Steve holds your back as you do. “Have good dreams, okay? And don’t mess with the TV. One movie tonight is enough, you’ll wake up with sore eyes.” 
He steals another kiss from both of them and then you’re closing the door behind you, the house much darker and quieter than it had been only ten minutes previous. 
“You want a glass of water?” Steve says. 
You catch his hand. “I got you one.” 
Neither you nor Steve bother with anything but bed. He draws back the blankets and you climb in, only stopping momentarily to make sure that Wren’s alright in her crib. You curl in the middle of the bed and wait for Steve to force his way beneath you, which he does, your face resting on his shoulder, your leg stretched across his. Your hip is a lump in the blankets. He lets his hand fall atop it, whistling a tired breath through his teeth. 
“Mm,” you agree, stretching out, curling in tighter. 
“I know,” he says. Can’t forget his best girl, can’t not think about how much he loves you when it’s you and him alone. Mostly. “You alright?” 
“Fine. Tireder than I thought.” Your eyes close, lashes brushing his chest. “H?” 
“What?”
“You okay?”
“Fine, honey. Was just asking you,” he mumbles. His pillow feels like a cloud beneath his head, the mattress even better, and the sheets are a brushed cotton that’s amazingly soft on his skin. 
He turns his nose down onto you for a not so secret sniff. 
“Feels too good to be true.” 
“My turn tonight,” he says. 
“No, baby, it’s my turn.” 
“That’s fine.” He’s not as tired as you, or at least not half as achy. If Wren wakes up crying (not definitely going to happen) or Dove has a late night startle (even less likely, though not impossible), he’ll take the burden tonight. “I wanted babies and I got ‘em.”
“I want them too,” you say. 
“Of course you do,” he says, rubbing your forehead with the tip of his nose affectionately. “That’s not what I meant.” 
“Less when they wake me up,” you joke. 
Steve feels up your side to your shoulder for a sleepy cuddle. You don’t realise how soft you can be, how warm you are pressed against him like this, how grateful he is to hold you. Maybe you can read his mind, or maybe as just pure evidence of such a feat, you cup his upper arm in your hand and begin to draw shapes over his skin, breaking the pattern with fleeting scratches. “Are you sure?” 
“Yeah, honey. I’m sure. You go to sleep now, okay? It’s Saturday tomorrow,” he whispers tenderly. “You don’t have anywhere to be.” 
“‘Cept here,” you whisper back. 
“Love you.” A brush of his lips to your eyebrow. “Goodnight, sweetheart.” 
“I love you.”
“I love you,” he says. He swears he’s gonna stay up for a bit and count your eyelashes or something, maybe pen you a love poem, write a note about your lips and how they pout when you’re nearly sleeping, but he forgets to when you press your face into the curve of his neck and kiss it clumsily. You fall asleep at the same time, the girls laughing in whispers just a few feet away behind the wall.  
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lucyandalexiafan · 2 days
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I'm scared | Alexia Putellas x Reader | part 2
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summary: first time that Alexia and reader talk about sex (specifically: masturbation) after the walk.
warnings: angst, allusion to past sexual abuses. really light smut moment (r comes home early and sees Alexia have orgasm using a vibrator).
words: 3k
Part 1
When you had spoken to Alexia about your past, about those experiences, you hadn't expected her to be so understanding and engaged in helping you.
Even though you knew she was a sweet person, kind, and in some way you knew she loved you, or was starting to develop strong feelings for you, up until that day you had believed she wouldn't stay with you once she found out what had happened to you.
Alexia is beautiful, charming, loved by hundreds of thousands of people; she's the captain of Spain and Barcelona, which means she's surrounded by beautiful women, a lot of them probably much more predisposed to have sex with her and much less anxious about it. She's famous, so not only fans and other footballers would want something with her, but also other celebrities, like models or actresses or singers.
Alexia doesn't just play football, she's also a football activist, a model and she works with some brands, which means she works in contexts that allow her to meet many (beautiful) women.
All these things had made it difficult for you to think that she would stay after that walk.
She took you home once you had returned to the car because the next day she had to go to Madrid for work with Nike. Before getting out of the car, you had kissed her and, thinking it was the last time, you had tried to imprint the image of Alexia so close to your face in your memory. You thought you wouldn't see her again and that she wouldn't contact you anymore, that she would ghost you or break up with you by message.
You had spent that night sleepless, tears flowing heavily from your eyes and nausea that had forced you to sit on the bathroom floor for a few hours, the retching had painfully contracted your body several times during those hours. Even though you hated yourself every time you did it, you kept checking your phone hoping to see a notification from her, a message, a post sent on Instagram or TikTok, and the more time passed, the more you received no news from her, the more nausea and the tears increased, the more you believed you had lost her forever.
Yet, the next day, the sound of the doorbell had woken you up. You had struggled to get out of bed, the headache was killing you and your back seemed to be broken in two by the pain, the sweat covering your forehead was a symptom of yet another nightmare that had invaded your sleep. 
You looked at the video intercom and saw a delivery man. "Yes, who's there?" you had asked, your voice hoarse, ruined by crying.
"Hello, I'm from Bakery Adele, I was told I have to deliver this order to this address" the delivery guy had replied, his voice annoyingly shrill, before asking for confirmation of identity.
You had told him he could leave it at the concierge and that you would come down later, but he had persuaded you by saying there was a piping hot double espresso cappuccino and a freshly baked cream-filled brioche waiting for you.
You had put on a jacket that was hanging on the coat rack, a jacket of Alexia, and had gone down. The delivery guy handed you the breakfast, a little note attached to the package, and then said goodbye.
Bakery Adele doesn't do deliveries, never.
Once you had entered the house, you had opened the note, and tears had returned when you had read it.
"I thought of ordering your favorite breakfast from your bakery. Whenever you feel like it, if you want, write to me or call me, I'm always here. I miss you, but I'll wait for you to feel ready to talk to me. Alexia <3"
Tears, tears, and more tears.
You had bitten your lip as you grabbed your phone to video call her. You didn't care about the condition of your face or your hair at that moment, you only cared about seeing if it was true, if she was sincere. You had spent the whole night thinking she hadn't written to you because she didn't want to talk to you anymore, only to find out she was waiting for you?
"Amor," her voice, her sweet voice, invaded the deafening silence of your home.
"Ale-" you had replied trying to articulate a sentence, but inevitably ending up crying.
"What's wrong, amor? Are you okay?" she was worried, her eyebrows furrowed and her eyes squinted.
"I thought you didn't want me anymore and now the breakfast has arrived and I don't understand and-" You start speaking quickly, thoughts overlapping in your mind one after another, as you try to express yourself, to tell her how confused you feel right now.
"Take a breath, amor breath with me. Did you think I wouldn't call you? - you shook your head - Amor, I told you I'm in love with you, why would I leave you?"
You hadn't talked much, actually, because she was about to enter the store and there was a lot of confusion, but she had called you back that evening.
And the day after, and the day after that, until she had shown up at your house with takeout Chinese food.
A couple of days after she returned, you had asked if you could talk, if you could talk about what had happened. You knew that the best idea would have been to go to her place, a place from which it would have been easy to run away from her if things didn't go as you hoped, and not to your place, where Alexia could have stayed even against your will; but the emotional comfort you felt being in your own home was crucial to be able to talk to her, to face the situation.
You were at your home, on the couch: you were sitting cross-legged, your hands holding hers, and you had told her that you understood if this thing was bigger than her, if she didn't want to wait for some time to do something sexual, but you had also told her that a part of you would have wanted her to stay because you wanted to face this thing with her, that you truly wanted to face it.
Alexia, hesitant, had told you, after a while of talking, that she thought it was appropriate for you to start a therapy process, maybe also to go to therapy together, because only then could you fully face the trauma. She also made sure to tell you that if you couldn't afford it continuously over time or with the right frequency, she would help you financially because, yes, facing it, but with the right psychologist. Shyly, she had told you that she had done a couple of searches on the best psychologists in Barcelona for this type of trauma and had found one really good, and that she would also be available to do couple therapy.
You had told her you would think about it and a few days later you had contacted one of the psychologists on her list.
The initial doubts about her seriousness in being faithful to you and not seeking anyone else for sexual satisfaction surfaced when she left for a National Team camp, and they exploded when you thought she was cheating on you with Jenni. The endless social media edits you continued to see fueled the doubt that perhaps, while genuinely attempting to complete the therapeutic journey, she was seeking to fulfill her sexual desire with someone else in secret.
At the third couple's therapy session after that camp, you addressed the issue. You had resignedly told her that you wanted to know if she was with other women, that you would understand but needed to know. She was shocked. She had told you multiple times that she only wanted you, that she would wait for you, that she didn't want anyone else, that she didn't want Jenni.
You had discussed it several times in therapy over the next two weeks, and even outside of therapy, but Alexia always said the same thing: I will wait for you, I want you.
The doubts had more or less disappeared when few weeks later you caught her having an orgasm with a vibrator while she thought you were still out. You were on holiday in the Canary Islands, you had gone out to do some shopping and go to an open-air market while she was sleeping, and you had left her a message saying you wouldn't be back in two hours; too bad the open-air market was on Thursday, not Tuesday, so you had returned after a little over half an hour. 
As soon as you entered the house, you heard moans and silently approached the bedroom, only to see her in the middle of the bed, her hand between her legs and a buzzing sound in the background accompanying her moans. 
You froze in place, not knowing what to do, or what to say. 
You didn't even know she had a vibrator. You hadn't really thought about it, actually.
You hadn't even had time to think about how to react because shortly after she reached the peak of pleasure, so you quickly moved towards the door, opened and closed it more loudly, pretending you had just entered. You didn't know why you did it, maybe you thought it would be easy to pretend you hadn't seen her, but you were wrong, especially for two reasons: seeing her climax had made you incredibly horny and you couldn't remove the image of her having an orgasm from your mind, so you couldn't even look her in the eyes.
Alexia had sensed something was wrong and asked you if everything was okay at dinner, when she asked if she had done something wrong. You almost choked on the water you were drinking, your cheeks suddenly burning, as you tried to come up with some excuses, only to give in.
"Amor, I don't know how to say it - you lowered your gaze, embarrassed to admit it, afraid she would get angry - I... today I came home earlier than you think and I-I saw you-"
"Fuck - Alexia exclaimed bluntly - Amor, I'm sorry, I... it shouldn't have happened, I thought you'd be back later," her tone suddenly guilty, as if masturbating were a fault.
"Are you sorry? - you asked, looking her in the eyes, and she nodded, her face red with embarrassment - But... why?"
Her expression became confused. "I-you weren't supposed to see me, I don't want you to think-"
"Since when you do it?" you asked, then realized the stupidity of the question when the older woman tilted her head to the side; you tried to change the subject, but she asked you to talk about it, to ask her, because it was important for her that you talked about it.
"Do you want to know if I've been doing it since we started dating or when I started doing it in general?" her tone was so calm, so relaxed, that you trusted her, trusted that she really just wanted to talk about it.
That was the first time you had talked so specifically about your sexual life, at least hers. 
She had told you she lost her virginity to a girl when she was fifteen, started using sex toys at sixteen, that throughout her relationship with Jenni they had been an integral part of the relationship, but she started using them less when she broke up with her because at that point she was having a lot of casual sex.
"I had sex with other women before I met you, both occasional and steady partners, so I didn't really need to use them to have an orgasm. Then we met, the relationship became serious and we started dating, so I stopped seeing other people, and when I realized we wouldn't have sex, I started using them more often. Since you told me about your past, I've started using them frequently again."
You bit your lip as you listened to her, it was evident that she was hesitant, choosing her words carefully, but at the same time she was so sure, so calm. The calmness with which she spoke about it almost gave you comfort, almost reassured you that she wasn't lying, that what she was saying was true.
"You can ask me anything, amor, none question is stupid."
"Do you do it because we don't have sex?"
She nodded hesitantly. "How does this make you feel? - you raised your eyebrows, confused - I don't want this thing to make you feel bad."
"It makes sense that you do it - you replied, your tone devoid of negative emotions - We don't have sex and you need to... have an orgasm. Why didn't you tell me?"
She took a sip of water in an attempt to stall. "I... I thought you would take it badly, that you would feel guilty or something, and I didn't want that. I told you I want to wait for you, but I was afraid that if I told you you would think that I necessarily need someone to have sex with or for me to tell you to speed things up - she sighed - But as you saw, my sex toys give me great orgasms and I could go on just with them for years" she continued, trying to relax the tension that had been created with her answer.
You chuckled with her, even though you were sorry she did it in secret, that she did it only when you weren't there, that she was afraid you would take it badly.
It was her first orgasm you had seen, and you had never really thought about the fact that she could be satisfied in other ways than having sex with other people.
"I had never thought that you would seek orgasms in other ways than sex - you simply stated - It's a stupid thing, sorry."
"It's not, actually. We've never talked about this, about maybe masturbating or actually wanting to have sex, regardless of whether we do it or not - the reflective tone, the calm voice - For example, when I feel the need to have an orgasm, use a vibrator because the orgasms I have using it are generally more satisfying than when I just use my fingers; but when I want to have sex, as well as an orgasm, I use my fingers because they feel closer to what I could have having sex with you."
You widened your eyes at the revelation, at how calmly she said it. You knew it was normal for her to be calm, you were glad she talked about it freely, but you didn't expect her to be so sincere.
"I've said too much, sorry. Please forget it," she continued, her voice concerned, her gaze now on the plate, her hands quickly grabbing the fork and knife to put them on the plate.
"No! - you replied, scaring her - Sorry, I don't know how to talk about it, but I'd like to, I like that we talk about it."
There was a pause, Alexia was simply smiling at you, perhaps surprised that you were actually having this conversation, perhaps because she didn't know what to say.
"I masturbate thinking about you," you said, a statement.
The woman in front of you widened her eyes, a choked moan escaped her mouth, the dismay obvious.
"When I do it I-I think about the two of us having sex or-or... doing sexual things - you lowered your gaze, a sense of humiliation invading your body when she said nothing - Please don't be mad at me"
You close your eyes, scared at the idea that she might start yelling that it's disrespectful, that it's wrong for you to do it, or, worse, that she might get up to hurt you, or physically punish you for it.
"Get mad? Why should I get mad? - her voice confused - It's normal for you to masturbate, to seek orgasm."
"Even if it's not with you?" she nodded "It's just that we don't have sex but I masturbate and... doesn't it make you mad?"
Your voice sounded more frightened than you wanted, but it was true that you feared she would get angry. You didn't want to have sex with her, you were afraid to have sex with her, but you touched yourself thinking of her; how could she take it?
"I'm glad you can touch yourself, that at least that part of your sexuality hasn't been broken," she moved her hands towards yours, squeezing them between hers "There's nothing wrong, amor, I'd be a selfish insecure person to think otherwise."
You bit your lip as you looked at her, admiring her. How could she always know what to say, always say the right thing?
"So, did you like to watch me while I touch myself?" you coughed embarrassed, not knowing what to say, or how to explain it.
You had enjoyed watching her come, even though it was by chance and for a short time, even though it was an unexpected thing that shouldn't have happened. The image of her coming, of her orgasm, was imprinted in your mind.
"I- you were just so beautiful when you came. I don't know how to say it, I feel stupid, and- it was like, I don't know - you sighed frustrated - it's just that I wish it were me making you come like that, not a vibrator."
"There's time, amor," she told you.
She was right, there was time, but you wanted to be the one instead of that vibrator.
I'm sorry it took me so long to post this, a few bad things happened and I didn't have the mind to write. this is a text that I wrote about two weeks ago but I only translated it last night; I'm not 100/100 satisfied, but I wanted to introduce a moment of discussion about sex before anything sexual could happen. I dealt with the topic of insecurity and jealousy in a very light way (perhaps superficially) but it seemed like the only way to introduce the moment on holiday. the hardest part for me, and what makes me a little dissatisfied, was trying to figure out whether what I wrote about accidentally seeing Alexia have an orgasm was itself a violation of consent, or could be construed as an accident (which it actually is); I chose to interpret it as an accident that Alexia knew could happen and to avoid the parties considering it a violation of consent. If this seems wrong to you, or will trigger a lot of people, I think I'll revisit this chapter. as usual, thanks for reading what I wrote :)
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neptuneiris · 3 days
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could you pretend to be in love? (07/10)
To Dragonstone / Lovers
pairing: modern!aemond × fem!reader (fake dating)
summary: the trip to Dragonstone arrives and things between you and Aemond may remain distant or may take a big turn. you are sure of your feelings but does he feel the same way?
word count: 8.4k
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hello!
even i'm surprised that i updated and it didn't take me two or almost three weeks, but here it is!
i'm so happy for the recognition the story is getting, truly, thank you so much beautiful people, i hope you like this chapter a lot too. i'm looking forward to your comments!
After what happened… there was a total change of behavior between you and Aemond.
Even that same day after he didn't drop you off at your house because you told him that Alysanne would be the one to drive you, that night he texted you that there was a party at one of his friend's house.
You didn't reply right away, you just watched the message appear on the top of your screen silently and did nothing.
And after a few minutes he texted you again telling you that if you didn't want to go with him, he was fine with it. And you just texted him back a short; have fun!
But still, you couldn't help but feel completely different, with this strange feeling and a knot in your stomach at having this distance with him.
But he didn't text you again for anything else.
Even also on that same day you saw Helaena, who told you again how sorry she and her mother were still. You also saw Aegon, but he just kept walking, acting completely unconcerned and as if the dinner had never happened.
And now, with things weird and distant with Aemond, today is the trip to Dragonstone.
You assume that you and Aemond will continue to pretend, since there was never a definitive statement where both he and you said you would no longer pretend. But since that night he told you about the party, he and you haven't spoken again.
There's really no plan for the trip. You don't even know if he and you will do this together, as a couple. You just don't know anything.
But you recognize that the two of you made a contract that includes the Dragonstone trip and also ending the fake relationship until graduation. So you prepare yourself despite the circumstances.
Besides you won't be alone, as Alysanne has also signed up for the trip, who just now is keeping you updated on all the things going on in her life as you both drag your respective suitcases along.
"But I don't know if I should say yes to him yet."
You let out a sigh, already feeling tired as you feel the weight of everything in your suitcase. But you can't really blame yourself because it's an all-weekend trip to the beach, so you should have brought everything you needed.
"To who?" you ask with the breath you're gathering, as you tighten your grip on your suitcase.
"Didn't you hear everything I said?" she inquires, "To Cregan."
"Ah… and why don't you know?"
"Well, you know…" she gives you a knowing look, "I don't know, he seems too perfect to me and there must be something wrong with him," she raises her index finger at you, "And he's too popular for my liking."
You frown, still walking as she does, heading toward the buses in the school parking lot that will take you all to Kings Landing port.
"Wait," you say confused, "So he already asked you out?" you look at her slightly surprised, struggling to keep up.
"Yeah," she says casually, "But I don't know."
"Oh come on," you look at her serious, "He's very nice, handsome, funny and a gentleman."
But she grimaces, showing her skepticism.
"Not exactly my type."
You roll your eyes, amused.
Then you both stop behind a line of people waiting to board one of the buses while one of the teachers notes on a list the students' attendance by asking for first and last name, so you have to wait.
"I think you should go out with him," you say, turning to look at her.
"Uhh…" she stares into the void, thoughtfully and doubtfully, "I don't know, bestie."
"He's a good match," you try to convince her, encouraged, "Besides he's already completely crazy about you."
"That's the problem," she sentences, "I'm not looking for a serious relationship right now. It seems better to me that we both just go out, have fun together and nothing else, no strings attached."
"He probably won't refuse the idea," you shrug, "But tell him and don't leave him waiting with his hopes high."
She snorts, gesturing with her hand.
"He's a man. I'm sure he can handle me never giving him an answer."
You let out a laugh.
"Don't be mean, Alysanne."
"What?" she looks at you innocently.
"Come on, you can do better than that."
"No, I don't think so."
You both let out a laugh now and are about to say something else to him, when a third voice interrupts you in conversation.
"Y/N?"
The two turn their heads and walking towards you, it's Aemond, with a somewhat unsure and nervous posture, which is totally unusual for him, but he's still watching you completely attentively.
He's wearing a white t-shirt and a black jacket over it, which makes him look ridiculously good for a common outfit. But what also catches your attention is how he has a silver chain sticking out from around his neck.
And God… why are you suddenly so nervous about being in front of him?
"Do you have a minute?"
You look uncertainly at him and then at Alysanne, having no idea what to say, further increasing your nerves.
"Hum—
"Go," Alysanne says to you, "I'll wait in line for both of us."
"Oh… all right."
You reply, smiling a little in her direction, only to walk over to Aemond and both of you step back a little so you can talk more privately.
And it's at that moment that your heart starts beating like crazy and you bite your lips, crossing your arms over your chest, nervous and a little… embarrassed.
"Listen," he starts to say, in a low and soft voice, "I just want to say that I'm really sorry for the way I reacted the other day," he tells you sincerely, "I'm sure I made you feel uncomfortable and to some extent trapped but believe me that was never my intention. Nor was it my intention for things to get weird between us."
"Yeah, yeah, I understand, don't worry," you nod, trying to hide your nerves and trying to look unconcerned, you too wanting to put this behind you, "I'm sorry too for trying to end it all that way."
"No, it's not okay," he assures you, "I just didn't understand anything and got frustrated," he admits to you gently, "And that wasn't right of me. Now I know how overwhelmed you must have felt with everything that happened."
"I-I guess I got scared and that was the easiest way I could think of to end it all when that wasn't right on my part either. After all… we have a contract—
"The contract thing doesn't matter," he interrupts you with a nonchalant gesture, placing a comforting hand on your shoulder, "The important thing is that we're both okay and that we don't distance ourselves from each other."
You nod in agreement, feeling a sense of relief at hearing his words.
"Yeah, you're right."
"So… everything good?" he asks you completely attentively.
"Yes, all good," you assure, wanting to put any misunderstandings behind you.
He is about to say something when one of his friends calls out to him from the line to board the bus.
"Aemond!"
You both turn your heads and his friend along with the teacher in charge watch him intently from the bus doors.
"I need to see your signed permission form, son," the teacher tells him.
He nods and goes back to watching you.
"I'll see you inside," he says before walking away towards his friend and you nod.
You walk back with Alysanne to the line and watch Aemond just a few feet in front of you, talking to the professor, and then he and his friend carry their bags up to the bottom compartments of the bus, eventually moving up the line.
And God… this is the sense of relief you so desperately needed to finally feel. Knowing that you're going to do this with Aemond, all about Dragonstone, relieves and excites you.
However, you should have assumed that even then things would get weird, because the feeling doesn't last long when you see Floris approach Aemond and the two of them start talking.
At first you don't think anything of it, but then, you see the way Floris approaches and behaves towards him.
A tingle of jealousy begins to bubble deep in your stomach as you watch the two of them talk. You also watch as some students watch the two of them and then you, standing apart, with curious and mischievous looks, surely waiting for the drama.
It's as if everyone knows what Aemond and Floris once were, only to then watch you, the new girlfriend, fade into the background after Floris has returned to school.
And Aemond's behavior towards you comes back to your mind.
He himself told you that he did not expect to see her again, so on another plane and in other circumstances, if Floris had not left the school, you are absolutely sure that Aemond would have required her help, totally.
And this between him and you would never have happened.
And maybe… Aemond is still interested in Floris, just as she seems to be still interested in him. But he can't do anything about it because he already has an agreement with you, he's stuck with you.
This relationship is fake, remember?
Your mind tells you, since for Aemond it's not real, but rather pure convenience, just an act, but for you… it's getting harder and harder to ignore the feelings that arise inside you.
Is it possible that your feelings are more real than you have allowed yourself to believe?
You watch as Aemond seems to want to subtly pull away from her to have his own space, but Floris moves closer again, as if they both share something that only the two of them know and that's why she has the confidence, even though he has a girlfriend, to act that way with him.
Which only makes you more annoyed and jealous.
But finally the line starts to move forward and you decide you won't give it any more thought. What's the point of worrying about something that, in theory, isn't real?
You board the bus behind Alysanne, where everything inside is full of excitement and energy, with students talking and laughing as they settle into their seats.
Then your gaze almost instantly meets Aemond's as you look at the seats, sitting in one of the first seats with the seat next to him empty, watching you intently and with a small smile on his lips, clearly waiting for you.
The temptation to go sit next to him is strong, but you decide to ignore it and keep walking behind Alysanne, passing him. And that instantly makes him react.
"Hey, hey," he quickly stands up and gently takes you by the arm, watching you with his soft gaze reflecting bewilderment, "Where are you going?"
Your nerves dissipate and you try to come up with a good excuse.
"Hum… you know, to sit with Alysanne," you point to your friend.
He follows your gaze but frowns, confused.
"But don't you think we should sit together?"
You stay silent for a few seconds, watching him intently and nervous, trying to come up with a better excuse. But he speaks again, trying to convince you.
"I packed snacks for both of us on the way and thought maybe we could watch a movie or something."
"Maybe on the way back," you say with an apologetic look, feeling the weight of his gaze on you.
And he frowns slightly, his gaze reflecting a mixture of disappointment and confusion as he tries to understand your behavior.
The two of you a few moments ago spoke, the two of you apologized to each other and you especially said that everything was okay or not? That's what keeps him confused, not understanding why the two of you are suddenly continuing this distancing, noticing your efforts to pull away from him.
"Come on," he insists, "Let Cregan sit with her."
"I'm sorry, Aemond," you say, "But I promised her I'd sit with her."
He seems to want to argue back, but you waste no more time and finally walk past him, moving away from him straight toward Alysanne in one of the seats almost at the back.
Aemond with a serious look sighs resignedly, feeling the disappointment inside, confused and with disillusion, not really understanding anything.
And when you arrive together with Alysanne, just as you take your seat, you look back to where Aemond is with a worried look and at that moment Floris appears, stopping in front of him with a small sweet smile on her lips.
"Will someone sit here?" she asks politely even though she already knows the answer, her tone with a familiarity that makes you stir in your seat.
Aemond turns his gaze back to you with a mixed expression of seriousness and disappointment before answering Floris.
"No," he replies with some annoyance, dropping back into his seat with a droopy attitude.
Floris complacently takes a seat next to him and you watch everything from afar, telling yourself that this is all a bad idea, with a swirl of emotions all over you.
So all the way to King's Landing port begins, where you distract yourself listening to music and avoid looking towards the seats where Aemond is with Floris.
At all times you feel this uncertainty and this unpleasant feeling that does not leave you in peace, even makes you feel sad, but Alysanne by your side manages to distract you in some moments.
Until you finally arrive at the port and in organized groups, the teachers make sure that all the students board the ferry that goes directly to Dragonstone.
Everyone around you starts taking pictures and videos of the wonderful view the ferry offers of Blackwater Bay, excited to get to Dragonstone.
And you start looking for Aemond with your eyes, finding him leaning on the ferry's railing with one of his friends next to him, both talking, but he has a more thoughtful expression as he gazes out at the ocean.
Despite being surrounded by people and his friends especially, he is distant. And you know he's like this because of you.
For one reason he asked to talk to you and clear up what happened between the two of you. You assured him that everything was fine and then pushed him away.
But can you really blame yourself?
You're fucking scared.
And for a reason Floris acts that way with him, because whatever there once was between the two of them, it's not over yet, you can feel it. And you have no right to reproach him for that because this is not real.
Still… it's better for you to start slowly pulling away from him and put on a show when it's really necessary. But how will you be able to do this together when things are like this?
That's why the uncomfortable feeling on the bus persists and Alysanne tries to distract you by taking pictures of the view, a selfie of the two of you together or by herself.
But despite these efforts, you can't stop thinking about Aemond and watching him from time to time.
Until the ferry finally docks at Dragonstone Island and the students begin to walk ashore with their suitcases in hand, full of excitement and high expectations for what awaits them this year on site.
And since you have never visited Dragonstone before, you watch in complete awe and amazement as the majestic and imposing modern castle stands before you almost on the water's edge.
It looks like a living museum, offering the relics of Old Valyria and its history, paying homage to the ancient house Valyria, a royal family that once ruled Westeros with the legend of having tamed dragons in their Reign.
The entire castle is made of stone, as well as its surroundings and all it has to offer.
And once inside, everything is majestically structured and spacious, with architecture of royalty, preserving that touch and the one that many decades ago a royal and powerful family lived here.
With a male guide, who is also chaperon of this 'excursion', he welcomes all the students and begins to guide them through the main corridors of the castle.
You are amazed to see the numerous display cases with ancient swords that had forged the history of the Valyrian house, as well as other possessions, be they wardrobes or jewelry of gold, silver and other precious stones.
There are also portraits of the ancient Kings and Queens who had ruled, as well as portraits of princes and princesses with the name, date of birth and date of death.
Being your first time in this place, it is obvious that you are excited compared to other students who have come here before and just want to have fun.
But you sense how the atmosphere is steeped in history and mystery. So you can't wait to learn more about this history that was in an ancient and legendary world.
"For those who don't already know, there are various activities you can do during your stay on the island," says the guide man, "You can enjoy the beach and swim in our crystal clear waters, but you can also dive with professional instructors to explore the coral reefs and marine life, as well as we also offer surfing lessons for beginners."
"I want to try surfing," Alysanne says next to you, without both of them letting up, and you watch her in surprise.
"Really?"
"I don't plan to dive, I feel like I'll go crazy with claustrophobia with so much suit and gear on me, not to mention you can't talk," she tells you with a grimace, "And swimming is so boring. I want something more exciting."
"And you can handle that?"
"Please, I can handle anything," she says with a certain superiority, making you laugh, "And what do you plan to do? Obviously not surf but then what?"
"Hum…" you think about it for a moment, "I don't know, maybe I'll visit the huge library and learn more about the history of this place and the whole Valyrian family."
Alysanne looks at you completely expectantly and showing you how much your answers have bored her.
"Are you serious?"
"We also offer a tour of our small aquarium located in the depths of the castle, where you can see a variety of fish and sea creatures," he man goes on to mention, "And lastly, we offer rides on our yachts and scooters along the coast, there are also paddle boarding lessons along our peaceful canals that meander through the island."
You look back at Alysanne beside you.
"Or maybe I'll join the paddling classes," you say with a shrug.
But that only makes Alysanne look at you like you're a hopeless case, sigh, and continue moving on, not telling you any more about your plans or she's afraid it will make you feel bad.
And you let out a little laugh, since of course you also want to enjoy the beach and also want a yacht ride.
And as all the students continue to move forward and you along with them, you still feel the tension between you and Aemond, who is moving a few meters ahead of you with his friends.
Despite the beauty and excitement of Dragonstone, still this uneasiness continues to weigh on your being.
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First night at Dragonstone and you've already been left alone.
Alysanne stated that she wanted to enjoy the luxurious bathtub in the room to immerse herself in a relaxing spa experience, so that's what she's doing now before starting the rough activities tomorrow.
And meanwhile you're stealing snacks from the huge kitchen since you've prepared one night of movies for yourself, which isn't a bad plan.
So with your pajamas on, you go back to the room, thankful that you didn't have any awkward encounters with anyone. In fact you were hoping to run into him, but that hasn't happened and you have no idea where he must be.
So with your snacks in hand and in the huge hallway where your room is located, you struggle a bit to open your door with your hands full, when someone enters the same hallway where you are.
"Hey Y/N."
You turn your head and meet Cregan, causing you to place a smile on your face in his direction.
"Hey Cregan."
He watches you with a small amused smile.
"Do you need help?"
"Well, I-I…" you try one more time, but everything is about to fall out of your hands, "Yeah," you finally agree.
He helps you with your snacks and also opens the door for you, then watches you curiously.
"Are you preparing one night of snacks and probably watching movies with Alysanne?"
"No," you reply laughing softly, "No, I—
"Ah, so you're going with Aemond to the hot tub," he interrupts you in a casual tone, assuming.
Confused by that revelation, you try to process the information, but before you can even pretend and react, which you really don't and remain silent like a fool, he notices and looks at you slightly confused.
"Oh, well... on my way here saw him alone in the hot tub and thought you were going with him."
And just then it happens.
Something snaps inside you.
An overwhelming sense of need overwhelms you from head to toe, you can't help it and you can't take it anymore.
You need to talk to someone about the truth and release everything you've been accumulating these past few days. But you know that if you do that, you would be breaking a contract rule.
But the thought of still holding all this in and not being able to talk to anyone about what's really going on is unbearable.
Alysanne would freak out and you have no one else to talk to. It's not like you have a lot of friends. So thinking hard, you quickly map out a plan in your mind and decide to confide in Cregan.
"Do you have a moment?" you ask with a lump in your throat.
Cregan gets confused and looks hesitant.
"Well, I—
"Alysanne is relaxing in the tub, she won't be out of there for a while and I really need to talk to someone about this," you plead.
And that's enough for Cregan to walk into the room behind you as he sees your face like you're about to explode and you tell him everything.
And God, it's a complete relief to be able to speak freely, without the pressure of keeping up the farce.
And you start by explaining to him why you decided to fake a relationship, and then tell him these feelings that you can't ignore anymore, as well as explaining everything you're feeling about Floris and how things are between you and Aemond.
And by this point, Cregan is very comfortable sitting on your bed, eating from your snacks while you wander around your room talking freely about everything that comes to your mind and he listens attentively.
"I'm completely crazy, aren't I?"
You watch him completely frustrated and looking for support, as the ideas and thoughts keep coming uncontrollably into your mind.
"I mean, this is fake," you clarify, waving your hands as you speak, "This wasn't supposed to happen, he just asked me for help and I asked for something in return to accept. And he clearly doesn't feel the same way I do."
You look at him in exasperation, worried.
"And I know I acted wrong with him this morning on the bus but—" you sigh, "You should have seen how he reacted when he saw Floris at school again. This whole thing with Aemond probably wouldn't have happened if Floris hadn't left school, it's obvious there's still something between the two of them and that makes me feel… so upset and so jealous when I shouldn't!" you exclaim frustrated, "And I find it best to just stay away from him so I can stop feeling all this and my big mouth won't even think of telling him how I really feel."
"Y/N—
"I'm right, right?" you don't let him speak, watching him completely intently and worriedly, "I'm crazy."
Cregan smiles softly in your direction in an attempt to comfort you and shakes his head, as he takes another bite of a chocolate bread.
"No, not at all," he replies sincerely, "You're just being honest with yourself and me."
You stop in front of him, fiddling nervously with the fingers of your hands.
"I had to blurt it out," you say dejectedly, "I'm so confused. And you have to promise not to tell anyone," you tell him instantly.
"I promise," he tells you instantly too, nodding.
"So what do you think?"
He lets out a long breath before answering, watching you calmly and quietly, preparing in his mind what he will tell you next, while you wait desperately and anxiously.
"Listen, I think it doesn't matter that the two of you have been pretending all this time, but Aemond likes you, a lot."
He assures you and your heart leaps, parting your lips and watching him completely intently.
"I've seen the way he stares at you—
"Have you already forgotten that all this time we've been pretending?" you interrupt him in exasperation.
"And you think you can fake a look of love if he's not really in love?" he asks you, expectantly.
You let out a sigh, bringing a hand to your forehead, massaging your temples.
"That doesn't matter, I feel he still has feelings for Floris and I'm just another fool who fell in love with Aemond Targaryen," you look at him hopelessly, "And if you think about it, it's embarrassing."
"Okay, let's analyze the facts," he says confidently, incorporating himself better on the bed, "The fake relationship was his idea, you set most of the important rules and you're the one who wants to end the relationship, but you're here locked in your room preparing a movie night for yourself alone while he's waiting for you in the hot tub," he tells you condescendingly while pointing at the door with his thumb.
You watch him completely attentively, almost hesitant and unsure, thinking about it.
"And if you think about it precisely, yes, Aemond and Floris had something but it was nothing serious, he later went back to Alys and now that he erased Alys from his life, there is you and no one else," he explains to you, "Floris' return means nothing because he could have told you that it was better to end the fake relationship when he saw her again, but he didn't tell you anything, it was you," he assures you, "And yes, maybe you fell in love first, but eventually he also fell in love with you and harder."
Cregan's every word hits you like a wave of revelation, making you rethink your perceptions and doubts.
Maybe, in the midst of all this confusion, conflict and your doubts, Cregan is right.
Maybe Aemond really is in love with you, despite the fake relationship, Alys and Floris… maybe he is and the thought is as overwhelming as it is comforting.
If so… then what will happen?
You don't know but wanting to find out excites and scares you at the same time.
"Do you think he's waiting for me in the hot tub?" is the only question you can utter out of the thousands in your mind, watching him hopefully.
"Of course," he gives you an obvious look.
So you waste no time.
You leave on your pajamas of silk shorts with a tank top of the same fabric and throw a coat on over them. It's not really cold but the air here on the island is frosty enough for you.
And as you step outside a part of the castle where the hot tub is located, with your heartbeat echoing in your ears, you are greeted by a cool, salty breeze that caresses your skin.
The hot tub area is illuminated by a series of lights hanging from the ends of the trees, creating a calm and relaxing atmosphere. But what stands out the most is the blue light of the hot tub.
And there you see him.
You focus on the lone figure of Aemond as you move forward, who has his back to you, gazing off into the horizon, thoughtful while also distracted by the bubbles the hot tub is making around him.
You pause for a moment, watching him from a distance, feeling a strange mixture of excitement and nervousness fluttering in your chest.
The silver chain around his neck shines with a soft glow from the blue light, adding a touch of mystery to his profile, just as his white skin glows slightly from the glint of water on his skin.
The sound of the hot tub echoes in place, as well as the ocean waves outside and with nerves blocking your mind, you finally approach him, with quiet determination.
"Mind if I join you?"
You say to him with some insecurity and in a soft tone, hugging yourself, nervous and attentive.
Aemond turns his head towards you and his eye meets yours.
And if his gaze reflected surprise, he quickly turns back to an unexpressive face and without saying absolutely nothing to you, where you also tried to smile a little at him, he turns his gaze back to the front.
And you don't let it get to you, at least not yet.
"What? Now you're going to ignore me?"
And thankfully that's enough to make him talk to you. At least a little bit.
"Oh now I'm the one ignoring you?" he retorts bitterly, without even looking at you, "That's funny."
And he continues to turn his back on you, without saying anything else, to which you let out a long breath and without giving up yet, thinking about what Cregan told you and also considering your feelings, you approach him.
With hesitant steps, you climb the steps leading to the entrance of the hot tub and approach the edge, feeling the warmth of the water and the gentle steam rising in the air.
Feeling Aemond's gaze on you, you take a seat on the edge and dip your feet into the water as you return his gaze, which makes your heart pound in your chest again.
He is completely beautiful.
And the words don't come out of your mouth as you are hypnotized for a moment watching the flashes of light on his serene face with his flawless skin and those features that make him look so handsome.
But you finally focus.
"Well, I'm sorry this is my first trip here and I have no idea how to do the activities when you didn't even offer to guide me," you foolishly try to justify yourself.
"Oh and now I'm supposed to guide you after you ignored me on the bus?" he inquires.
You feel the blood rise to your cheeks and look away for a moment, embarrassed.
"Well, I thought I should do you a favor," you admit sheepishly, not really knowing what to say.
And you just had to say that?
Your mind reproaches you.
"Favor?" he repeats in confusion, "What favor?"
"It's obvious Floris is still interested in you," you explain, "And you and she had a thing in the past so was it better for her to sit down with you or not?"
Fucking fool.
Your mind keeps reproaching you, but you don't know why you had to say that either!
And you know it was really bad as Aemond makes a gesture of exasperation on his face and shakes his head as he averts his gaze from you and stretches out both arms to the edge of the hot tub.
"You know?" he starts to say in a frustration-laden tone of voice, watching you "For being such a good student… you can be really dumb sometimes."
You frown, bewildered by his words.
"What?"
"I wanted to sit with you, Y/N," he tells you in exasperation, wanting to make you understand, "Not with Floris or anyone else, just you," he says, his tone softening as he looks at you intently.
Oh.
Yes, oh.
Now you feel stupid and of course you should feel exactly that way.
And as Aemond's words echo in your mind, you feel a mixture of emotions inside you.
On the one hand, a sense of relief and joy finds its way into your chest as you hear his sincere words and know that he wanted to be with you. But you are also overcome with a slight embarrassment at your initial lack of understanding.
And because of the same nerves and how stupid you still feel, a soft laugh escapes your lips at his confession.
"So, Floris…
You let the words float in the air, as you watch him with that insecurity in your gaze.
"Floris was just a one time thing in the past. She doesn't interest me anymore," he assures you gently and firmly, completely honest.
You both remain silent for a moment, only hearing the bubbling of the hot tub, where you mostly admire how the blue light reflects all over his body and face, looking so fucking good.
Not to mention he has no shirt on.
You can feel the electricity in the air as he watches you with his face softer compared to a few moments ago, there's also almost adoration and hope, all just the same way you're watching him.
Then you break the silence.
"I'm sorry I didn't sit with you on the bus," you say sincerely.
And he makes a nonchalant gesture with his hand.
"It's all right."
And once again, silence envelops you as you both sink into the intimate and complicit atmosphere that surrounds you.
Then once everything has been 'cleared up' somehow, you sit up and take off your coat, to begin soaking in the hot tub along with him, causing him to watch you attentively and in confusion.
"You're going in your sleeping clothes?" he asks in a doubtful tone.
"I didn't bring a swimsuit," you reply, stopping in front of him and allowing yourself to enjoy the shared quiet and intimacy along with the warmth of the water.
You watch as his gaze sweeps over your body, mostly focused on watching the way the water envelops you in just the same way he does and you don't stop, as you position yourself right in front of him, your face inches from his.
And already starting to feel a little embarrassed by his burning gaze on you, you say the first thing that comes to mind.
"You know, I've never seen you without that chain," you say, feeling your knees bump against his thighs.
He smiles slowly, showing off his perfect aligned white teeth, marking each cheek with his beautiful dimples, having a knowing glint in his eye that is reflected as he inspects your face.
"It's part of me," he replies, in a soft, deep, husky voice than usual that sends shivers down your spine, "But I think I might make an exception tonight."
And before you can fully comprehend his words, you feel Aemond's hand on your thigh from under the water, sending a surge of electricity through your body.
Surprised, he makes you sit on his lap, while his other hand rests on your waist, drawing you to him gently but with remarkable determination, surprising you and making you feel instantly nervous.
You place your hands on his shoulders, seeking stability, as you watch him with your parted lips, seeing that the space between the two of you no longer exists.
The intensity of his gaze and the softness of his face take your breath away for an instant, reminding you why you are drawn to him in the first place. And a mix of emotions overwhelm you as you realize how much you've been longing for this moment.
Then you both shorten the little distance that separates you and finally you feel the sweet contact.
With no one around, no one else's eyes on you, just the two of you alone here, you kiss.
A slow and deep kiss, where you feel Aemond's lips soft and warm against yours, making you let yourself go and move closer to him if possible, taking one of your hands to caress his cheek.
And his body responds to your caresses, pulling you closer towards him as if he can't get enough, settling better into his lap and tilting his head to the side, deepening the kiss, where his hands run down your back, causing his touch to cause electric currents through your body.
Then you both pull away a little with a wet sound from their lips and you watch him directly into his eye, unable to believe this is actually happening, where Aemond breathes through his mouth and brings one of his hands up to your cheek, watching you intently and with that lazy smile.
"What?
With a small smile on your lips, you shake your head.
"Nothing," you reply in a soft tone and that makes him smile a little more, starting to trace your cheek with his fingers and your face with his gaze.
"You don't know what you're doing to me, love," he murmurs against your lips, his voice hoarse, "The way you make me feel… it's indescribable."
His words wash over you like a comforting warm wave, spreading throughout your chest and causing a sensation to settle in your lower abdomen.
His hand on your thigh slides all over your skin, producing shivers as he pulls you even closer and your whole body trembles slightly from the intensity in his desire as he shortens the distance again and his lips seek yours with a hunger that matches what you are feeling.
And in that moment there is no doubt or hesitation, only the overwhelming certainty of the connection that exists between the two of you. And just like him, you let your actions speak for you and everything you are feeling right now.
You deepen the kiss, as you lose yourself in the intoxicating rhythm of his kisses and your fingers gently glide over the skin of his face and run along the contours of his jaw.
"This wasn't in the contract," you murmur against his lips, agitated.
"No, it wasn't," he tells you just as agitated as you are, catching your lips with his again.
Then your other hand comes down on his bare chest, tracing his muscles and feeling the heat of his skin against yours, sending an electric shock that ignites a burning, fierce fire throughout his body.
Aemond moans against your lips and brings one of his hands to the back of your neck, tilting his head and holding you exactly where he wants you, while his other hand travels between the skin of your thighs and your lower back.
Then you decide to move on top of him and his breath hitches as he feels your movement and you too feel a tingle in your crotch.
Both he and you can feel the tension grow between the two of you and suddenly it is as if the world has vanished, existing only him and you with this moment of pure connection and desire.
And with each caress, you feel yourself falling more and more under the spell, lost in the intoxicating, indulgent pleasure you begin to experience. And with his heart beginning to pound, his caresses become more daring and urgent.
You too move with more purpose on top of him, beginning to feel a bulge grow just below your nerve center that caresses him and makes you feel so good.
"Do you want me to stop?" he asks against your lips.
"Please don't," you sentence, kissing him again.
You gasp against his lips and you both begin to gasp, feeling Aemond's chest rise and fall every instant, just like yours. And with the warm, comforting water enveloping you both it only makes it feel better.
You run your hands through his hair, pulling it away from his forehead to lean into him and continue kissing him as you continue to roll your hips on top of him, when he pulls away from you and begins to leave a trail of wet kisses from your cheek and down to your neck.
All your skin bristles and you let your head fall back, giving him more accessibility.
"Fuck," he murmurs hoarsely into the side of your neck.
And you lean into him again, kissing him, wanting to feel the caress of his lips on top of yours.
But then when the need and desire begins to build to a pace where Aemond thinks he won't be able to stop afterward, he decides to stop right there, pulling away from your lips and making you stop moving.
"Wait," he says to you in a low, husky tone, breathing through his mouth.
You look at him slightly confused, just as agitated as he is.
"What's wrong?" you say with your heart pounding in your chest as you take a deep breath.
He tries to catch his breath, closing his eye and resting his forehead against yours, still holding you above him.
"We can't," he says with some frustration.
You force yourself to take a deep breath, beginning to feel confusion and uncertainty invade you, watching him intently.
"Why not?" you ask in a whisper, still leaning into him.
He lets out a long breath through his nostrils, clearly fighting against the hardness beneath his shorts and keeping you on top of him in a way where you don't touch him or he'll go completely insane.
But his silence only makes you worry and think things that really aren't.
"Or is it that you don't want to do it with me?" you ask fearfully and with embarrassment starting to creep up on you.
"What?" he quickly looks at you, "No, no, that's not what I mean, of course I want to do it with you," he answers you quickly and completely honest, "But we can't do it here."
He points his gaze around you, to again look only at you with that intensity, revealing a mixture of his desires and his inner conflicts.
Oh.
A sense of relief washes over you as you realize it's not rejection, but concern for the circumstances.
"Ah… right," you say with a mixture of embarrassment and relief, also briefly glancing around you, "Sorry, I hadn't thought of that."
Aemond looks at you tenderly, his gaze softening with a mixture of desire, vulnerability, and what you think is love reflecting in its depths, then pulling your face towards him again.
"It's okay, we'll find another time," he assures you, his tone comforting.
You smile softly as you place your hands on both of his cheeks and he kisses you deeply again, causing you to melt into his arms and let yourself be completely carried away.
You feel embarrassed by your misunderstanding, but also grateful for his concern and consideration.
And you don't know exactly how long you both lasted inside the hot tub, just kissing and nothing more, occasionally playing with the bubbles, sharing an intimate and special moment together.
"I missed you," he murmurs against your lips, leaving a soft kiss that makes you smile.
"Me too," you confess, kissing him again.
And though desire still burns between the two of you, you both know it's best to wait and save that moment for a more private and suitable place.
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You still don't know what the fuck happened.
But what you do know is that you went to sleep with a silly smile on your lips and at dawn, you put the same silly smile back on your lips as you remembered everything that happened.
However, surprise and fear also flooded you after remembering exactly everything you and Aemond did.
The two of you were going to have sex.
You were going to have sex with him in a hot tub.
You didn't even care about anything, the fact that they were out in the open, the fact that you weren't physically or mentally ready or even the fact that you and he weren't even real boyfriend and girlfriend.
But you wanted to do it, God, you wanted it and badly.
He was even the one who had to stop everything when on another plane, you probably would have done it, but no. You weren't thinking, you were completely drunk with pleasure and now shame is the only thing you feel all over your body.
You can't even tell Alysanne because of the shame and because you know she won't stop laughing at you. You even plan not to leave the room to avoid running into him. But Alysanne makes you go with her to her first surfing lesson.
And ready for the day as you walk with her down the stairs to the main lobby, you think about how if things with Aemond were already weird and awkward before that moment, now the two of you won't even be able to see each other's eyes.
But to your surprise, that's not what happens.
There are several students and teachers already in the lobby when you see his characteristic silver hair, but before you can react and even think, Aemond walks towards you with a small smile as soon as he sees you and kisses you, surprising you since you definitely didn't expect that.
And of course you noticed the look Cregan gave you both, but more to you specifically, but you just told him with your look that you will talk to him about everything later.
And so you start your activities in Dragonstone, with Aemond.
Of course you first keep Alysanne company in her surfing lessons and after she is totally focused on that, you and Aemond spend time together.
Under the golden sun, painting the horizon with warm hues and golden sparkles on the ocean waves, you both enjoy a walk along the shore of the beach, enjoying the salty air and the sea breeze that envelops you.
You talk about everything and about almost nothing at the same time, him being the first one to dare to hold your hand while you enjoy your little walk, making the blood rise to your cheeks and you enjoy like every teenage girl in love these little moments.
Then you both play a game of volleyball, where you both laugh and have fun as you immerse yourselves in the game.
And clearly from running around so much in the intense sun and getting almost sweaty, you get the idea that you both should swim a bit and surprisingly Aemond doesn't refuse the idea, even though he doesn't know how to swim, but you offer to teach him.
In a gray two-piece bikini, you lead him out into the waves, explaining how to move in the water and breathe properly, causing him to begin to gain confidence and enjoy the sensation of being carried by the waves.
But of course after that would come the laughter and playfulness, both laughing and talking while enjoying the sun and the salt water.
And in that moment, the fun turned into an intimate moment as Aemond holds you by the waist, pulling you closer to him. There is a silent intention in his gaze as he touches your skin with his burning hand and you don't pull away, on the contrary, you lean towards him.
You wrap your legs around his torso and his lips press against yours in a deep kiss, losing themselves to each other in the middle of the sea.
And when you both separate, you look at each other with a mixture of shyness and affection, while Aemond places a damp lock behind your ear, feeling a pleasant sensation that he can't quite describe envelop him, especially at the moment when you again leave a soft, tender kiss on his lips.
And with beaming smiles on your faces, you both get out of the water and go upstairs to your rooms to bathe and change your clothes.
But then the two of you meet again and he accompanies you to explore the castle together, marveling at the ancient relics and all the history that surrounds the place.
He also accompanies you to the library to take some photos and to the roof terraces where you get magnificent views of the whole island.
And as you both move through the exhibits, Aemond more than anything couldn't resist hugging and kissing you, expressing his affection in every gesture and you of course didn't mind.
And in the castle's aquarium, you both find yourselves surrounded by fascinating sea creatures, sharing tender moments together as you watch the fish swim around.
The sea creatures seem to dance in the water, their bright colors and movements mesmerizing you as you walk among the tanks.
"You are beautiful," he murmurs against your lips, watching you with that bright glint in his eye as he watches the reflection of the sun and water on your face, creating an aura of serenity and beauty around him.
The blood rushes up to your cheeks and you smile shyly, feeling so silly.
"You are beautiful too, Aemond Targaryen."
You lean towards him and leave another soft kiss on his lips that he reciprocates instantly, taking you by the waist and bringing you completely closer to him, wanting to keep touching and kissing you.
But you both continue the little tour holding hands, where you also take pictures together and of everything you see around you, wanting to capture these moments.
And even though he and you haven't really talked about anything, this doesn't feel like you're both pretending. This feels real and you like the way it feels when you are with him, being completely honest and genuine with your feelings.
Then the day goes on as normal and as expected, after doing all the educational activities in a certain way, it's time for the party.
"There will be my friends, Cregan, my sister and well, Alysanne if she wants to come too," Aemond tells you as you both head towards your rooms.
"I'll convince her to go," you assure him.
"Okay, I'll see you in fifteen minutes then."
"All right," you smile at him.
He leaves down a different hallway from the one you're heading down since each of your rooms are separate and you're focused on getting ready for this party.
You don't know how, but he and his friends have arranged to take a yacht for the night. Obviously they are not going to ride around in it with the night sky, but apparently they have everything ready for everyone to drink and enjoy a while.
Fortunately you convince Alysanne and the three of you soon arrive at the yacht that is stranded in the west harbor of the island, where Aemond's friends are already there, getting everything ready.
Then the music plays, the LED lights turn on and the drinks begin to be served.
Sitting on Aemond's lap, you didn't think you'd have as good a time as you're having now, laughing and talking to everyone, occasionally hugging and kissing him.
And fortunately nothing unfortunate or unpleasant happens, there is only the company of your friends and you enjoy Aemond's presence, clinging to him at every opportunity, hugging him and singing some songs with him like everyone else, having a good time.
And fortunately in the following days there is no activity you don't do with Aemond, even now if you go for a yacht ride, where you can perfectly see some students and also Alysanne practicing surfing.
You also cheer up with the scooter ride, just like him, completely enjoying the moment and the experience.
And you honestly don't want any of it to end.
general taglist:
You want everything to continue to be perfect.
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@melsunshine @at-a-rax-ia @jxdegodfrey @ttkttt @yentroucnagol @kate-to-the-ki @iamavailablesstuff @bluerskiees @urmomsgirlfriend1 @toodlesxcuddles @rosie-posie08 @iloveallmyboys @bellaisasleep @deliaseastar @cupcakesminicakescupcakes @dixie-elocin @lilostif16 @wickedfrsgrl @a-beaverhausen @a-beaverhausen @saturnssrings @ladythornofrivia @iloveallmyboys
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primrosebow · 3 days
Note
Do you draw or write for the girls? Because I would love seeing any type of Lute, Charlie or Vaggie art in your style
Also I would eat your art 20/10
Short answer: yahhh xoxo💞
Long answer:
_-->Various hazbin hotel women x reader // art
//
!Content warnings!:the usual nsfw, this has the gals listed in the ask🫡 a few headcannons added for flavor, gn reader cause I never specified literally anything, more words than usual.
We are SO BACK 💪💪💪 request things ‼️ My activities would get me perma banned from the vatican, I'm afraid.
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Charlie //
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I, unlike most other people here, believe that charlie most often tries to take the role of a dom! She's used to trying to fix everyone else's problems, but, she'll crumble if she ever gets treated like the perfect princess that she is. Call her beautiful, praise her, give her that affection she desperately needs. She's been helping her citizens for so long, she deserves to get taken care of!
Honestly, when you slowly push that vibrator inside her after what felt like an agonizing ammount of time for prepping, she was ready to cry on the spot. She can barely believe you even talked her into being in the receiving end of this -she's the one supposed to be pleasing you!- Getting this much attention and love made her brain go all fuzzy and tears well up in her eyes as her limbs felt weak; she was trembling far too much from the overwhelming pleasure she felt right then to truly care about what this whole situation did to her ego.
She doesn't realize her horns have made an appearence as she pleads with you: come on! You were giving her so much attention just a minute ago! Please! Being as close to you as possible is her only wish right now. Her pitiful tone and cries for you directly contradict how her tail is shaking at it's tip, much like that of an excited cat -she's enjoying this far more than she expected-.
If you do decide to give in and finally rub on her already overstimulated clit just as you had been doing before, she'll cling onto you for dear life- practically sobbing as you give her precisely what she needs. Maybe she can get used to being treated nicely by you. (She learns that she cannot get enough of the overwhelming passionate act of letting you be in control, it's far too good for her to only experience it once.
She'll soon get a little cocky though... she isn't the daughter of the king of pride just because of her name, if you catch what I'm throwing)
// //
Vaggie //
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Vaggie has placed quite a notorious quantity of expectations on herself. She's always been this way, and, continues to be despite your affirmations of her worth. Your constant and relentless words of praise to her: how beautiful she is, how strong, how perfect, how brave, how hot- it all got to her head very quickly. Your words contradicted her thoughts on herself but the way you kiss along her neck makes any thought melt away from her brain and be replaced with pure emotion.
// //
"Mh.. please, darling- I-" she tried to form a sentence, eventually getting cut off by her own moans. Her nightgown was pushed up as she laid with her back against your bed, squirming slightly as she feels your fingers rub against her insides. She clenches around you as you drag your thumb over her swolen clit, which was begging for your attention since the very start of this. Her hips stutter as she can't pick between indulging the stimulation and running away from the pleasure.
Her eyes struggle to keep themselves open, but you had told her to look at you during this. She couldn't let you down. Not when you were saying she was "doing so good f'me". Those are some of the few words that can pierce through the thick veil of the ecstasy-like feeling of your attention and carve themselves into her very soul. She was good. Good for you. She couldn't ask for anything better, and, won't- can't be letting you down.
You.. leave her easy tasks such as looking at you and being a little quieter just so she feels like she's still, in some way, being useful to you. Slow and steady wins the race, and, soon enough you hope to remove the constant anxiety of servicing you from the act of love you want to give her.
Lute //
Lute is quite interesting because she has this weird duality between wanting approval and not being able to take said approval. Sometimes, she'll activelly attempt to rile you up enough that you'll punish her (something you have already told her is not necessary, since you can be harsher on her if she simply asks) but please don't blame her! She's just used to being treated roughly, it's "safer" for her to stay in her comfort zone of thorns and cruel words at first.
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But only at first. Like I said, she really does want to feel loved. One of the first times you attempted to give her the affection she craves, after having learned that she can't deal with the purely lovey, sappy affection yet, you had to get resourceful with bringing her the love she needs.
"Awh sweetheart, you can't handle this?" You dig your fingers even deeper into her, a squelching noise arises from the action because of just how wet she already is. She groans at your words, and, if you didn't know any better, she'd have sounded like any other cheap sinner from lust with how aroused she was at your teasing. But you do know better. Your comment- it was slightly mocking, it was maddening; it was a challenge. For her to keep her composure for as long as she can. Lute grabs onto you even harder so she can regain some sense of stability, finally locking eyes with you. She moves her hips slightly against your fingers. Despite it being her own action, she groans. She says in a shaky tone
"Do your worst."
Ah, you can't deny such a request, now, can you?
// //
BONUSSSSSSSSS‼️
Velvette //
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"Agh- fuck you! H-ah-" she tried to act mad, don't get her wrong. She really did. But that's astoundingly hard to do when your lover has their hand in your panties and is currently relentlessly and harshly rubbing against your clit like it was the last thing they'll ever touch.
You really could not have picked a worse time to do this; right before one of her new collection showcases? Did you want her to die? You forcefully push her thighs apart when she pressed them toguether, not letting her even attempt to get back a semblance of composure. As if that wasn't enough, you had locked her bracelets toguether behind her back, and, even if she wouldn't admit it to a single soul, it really turned her on.
She tried to think as hard as she could, try to offend you, try to play her own pleasure down, but she really couldn't. Empty remarks about your incompetence or appearence or literally anything she could get her mind around slowly melted away into moans and whines, the much too familiar shame from getting overwhelmed so easily by you also pushed aside by a desperate search for her own release.
When she finally did cum, she doesn't hold back on how loud her moan of your name was, her thighs trembled as she leaned on your body for support. She intentionally turns her head away from the mirror so she won't be faced by her own overstimulated self, and much less your self-satisfied grin as you watch her panting against you.
Oh gods... what was she doing again? Hmm.. OH YOU BASTARD YOU RUINED HER PANTIES! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW EXPENSIVE THAT FABRIC WAS? FUCK YOU.
Let's just hope that the fashion gossip blogs don't catch onto how uncharacteristically out of breath she was during that showcase!
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I love piracy so much RAHHHHHH‼️‼️ if buying ain't ownin, piracy ain't stealin, but I wish it were. IMAGINE‼️ you download idk ratatouille and they just don't have it anymore. "Guys they took ratatouille again..." I wish. I wish watching media through torrent sites was like taking various items from ikea.
I WOULD download a car.
@bigfatbimbo cause of the little bonus of velvette
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li0nn3stuff · 2 days
Text
You see Aemond's eye
English is not my first language, be kind.
Modern!Aemond x fem!Reader 
Warnings: pure smut with a bit of fluff in the end
Aemond groans, as he squeezes her hips with his hands, as she keeps on jumping up and down his cock. He clenches his jaw, throwing back his head at the beautiful feeling of being inside of her once again. Her breasts were jumping up and down in front of his face, still covered by her bra, her hands beside his head, her head thrown back. He looks at her face, contorted in pleasure and a bit of tiredness as she keeps riding him, moaning every time his cock slips back in, rubbing just the right spot inside her.
He moves one of his hands to tug down harshly the cup of her bra, letting one of her breasts out, so he could lean towards it to suck her nipple in his mouth. She moans even loudly and she sits on his cock, swaying her hips back and forth, as she puts one of her hands behind his head, keeping him close to her breast. He grunts and grabs her ass tightly enough to be leaving bruises later, and he starts moving her so she resumes her previous movements, forcing her to take his cock in and out, as he watches how she wonderfully does so, with his mouth half open.
“Yes… Fuck- That’is, baby- Just like that.” He moans as she nods and follows his pace. He let one of his hands away from her ass to bring it to her exposed breast, squeezing it, then twirling her nipple between his fingers.
“Oh- Fuck, A-Aem-Aemond!” She moans loudly and he smirks. He squeezes the skin of her ass even tighter as he stops her movements, fixing the cup of her bra as he puts his hands back on her hips, keeping her still. He plants his feet on the bed and start thrusting his hips up, fucking her from below, his eye glued to where their bodies combined so wonderfully. She moves her hands on his chest to keep her balance and she looks down at him.
“A-Aemond- S-so good..:” she mumbles as he just keeps speeding up, going inhumanly faster. The room was filled with dirty sounds, the sicky sounds of her juices that wetted his crotch, her moans, sobs and whimpers, and his grunts or heavy breathing.
She kept looking at his face, she loved to drink up every expression of his, all the time, in bed, out of bed. She couldn’t stop looking at him, finding every single detail of his face incredibly beautiful. Except for one thing. They’ve talked before, and almost every time, it ended up disappointing for her. His eyepatch. She had asked him on many occasions why he never took it off with her, why she couldn’t see how he was underneath it, and he simply answered that she wasn’t ready, that she would have been disgusted by what she would have seen. Hearing him saying such things about himself always broke her heart, so she would just drop the conversation with a sadden smile.
“I’ll fuck you untill morning, baby- Fuck, if it feels this good it’ll be worth feeling my cock fall off-” He grunts as he grabs the back of her neck and pulls her down on his chest. She hides her face in his neck, trying to cover her moans on his skin, but he slapped her ass, leaving a red print of his hand on it.
“Don’t. Let me hear you. Let everyone hear how good I make you feel.” he growls, as she presses her forehead on his neck as she tries to get a glimpse of the sight of his cock entering her repeatedly, but due to this position she couldn’t, so she just closes her eyes and moans again, clenching her hands on the duvets under them, squeezing them in her hands as she just kept taking whatever he gave her. He takes off his hand from the back of her neck and he slips it between them, searching for her breasts again, so she takes the occasion to sit back up as he keeps pistoning his hips up.
The stamina of this guy was something she just would never understand.
She puts her hands back on his chest, passing her fingers over his nipples, and she looks back at his face. His lips parted, his rapid breathing and his expression of struggle, pleasure and determination. He grunts and throws his head back as he closes his eye, the scar wrinkling the skin around it, the eyepatch moving slightly. He probably didn’t even notice, but she did. She puts her hand on his scarred cheek, caressing it, as he immediately opened his eye to watch her attently. Giving her a few harder thrusts to warn her, that made her sob harder, almost taking her breath away. She fixes his eyepatch over his eye and she leans down to kiss his chest, keeping her hand on his cheek, sitting back up after.
Aemond’s thrusts were getting harder and quicker, a sign that he was about to cum. She looks back at his face and he sees his pained expression as he tried to hold back, feeling her walls starting to squeeze him, knowing that he was just building her orgasm up. She bites her lip as he keeps looking at his face, and even if she knew that what she was about to do was really wrong, she couldn’t refrain herself, so she moved her hand and slipped his eyepatch off. She met blue.
He was… beautiful.
His lost eye has been replaced with a blue sapphire gem, his eyelid a bit wrinkly and red at the edges. But that eye, that gem… Aemond widened his eye, shocked by her action. How could he be insecure of such a sight? God, she was so lucky, she was in heaven, she felt the highest, knowing that she get to be fucked by him, touched, kissed, by him. She was flattered to even be close to him. She kept staring at him, and after finally having revealed to herself what he looked like, all she could do was just cum. She collapsed on top of him as her walls spasmed violently, never having cum this hard in her life, she just felt wonderfully, hugging his neck close to her as she let out the loudest moan.
Aemond clenches his eye close as he moans back just as loud, her walls sucking him so wonderfully that his legs just fail him when he finally lets himself cum. She puts her hands on the sides of his face as she presses her lips on his. He sighs and kisses her back, pushing her away almost immediately. She pulls away and looks at him with her lips pressed together.
“I-I’m so sorry…” She was panting, her whole body was shaking.
“Why did you even do it?” He growls as he puts his eyepatch back on, but she grabs his wrist to stop him.
“No! Please, I’m really sorry I did it like this, but please, Aemond, don’t wear the eyepatch again.” She begs him. He growls and he pulls his wrist away from her. “What makes you think you have the right to ask this, uh?!” He was angry, he felt betrayed, and he had all the right to be, she knew it.
“Aemond… I know I-I shouldn’t have, but… You’re beautiful.” She ends up whispering her last two words. He looks at her as if she was a madwoman.
“You should be disgusted.” He hisses at her and she furrows her brows.
“Disgusted? Aemond… who told you that? Your eye is nothing to be disgusted by.” She felt her heart break into pieces at his words. He just fixes his eyepatch on his eyes and looks away from her.
“No one.” He answers coldly. She presses her lips together, feeling her eyes filling with tears. She moves off of him and lays beside him. Aemond was stubborn, what he said, he had to do. She felt it was worth it to try again. 
“Aemond…” She puts her hand on his cheek, turning his face towards her. She met his glacial gaze, the one he usually reserved for strangers. It sent shivers down her spine, mixed with pure fear. Did she just ruin everything? Only the idea of losing him made her want to cry and beg him on her knees. She takes a deep breath to not burst into tears.”P-Please… You’re perfect… you’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen…” 
His expression softens as he sees her tears, and he sighs in frustration, pulling her close, making her lean on his chest as he wraps his arm around her.
“Did you cum for my eye?” He asks so shamelessly that she blushed violently, even though it was nothing she could deny. She slowly nodded her head, looking down at her hand resting on his chest. He heard Aemond moving, then his hand came in her view field, holding his eyepatch. He was giving her his eyepatch. Her head snaps up, looking up at him. His cheeks red in embarrassment, as he was looking away from her. His eye uncovered. She smiles softly, wiping away her tears, as she leans on her elbow to look better at him she puts her hand on his cheek again, turning his head to her. He was so pretty, his cheeks flushed, his gaze drifted to the side, as he refused to meet your eyes.
“You’re beautiful.” She repeated, smiling at him. His cheeks only reddened more as he clenched his jaw.
“I don’t get you. How can you enjoy the sight of any of this?” He answers and I rest my chin on top of your chest, admiring your face.
“I just do. Simple as that.” 
He finally looks down at her and he caresses her cheek with her thumb.
“I don’t think I would have ever been able to take the eyepatch off in front of you. I guess it was a good thing that you did it for me.” He says as he looks at her, his mind strangely calm. She leans towards his hand as she closes her eyes, enjoying the feeling of his soft touches.
He grabs her by the back of her neck and she brings her up to his face so he can kiss her. She immediately wraps her arms around his neck, pulling him closer as he rolls to get on top of her. He looked at her, smirking. Her reaction to his eye gave him a huge boost of confidence.
“I won't cover my eye again when we are alone, I promise.”  She smiles back at him at his words. He smiles devilishly then he adds: 
“Especially if it makes you cum that hard.” 
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hotvintagepoll · 3 days
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Propaganda
Gene Tierney (Laura, The Ghost and Mrs Muir, Leave Her to Heaven)— The class, the elegance. The way she walks into frame and immediately all focus is on her. She had a pretty lengthy struggle with mental health that she describes in her book, which I think made her all the more sensitive in portraying characters like in leave her to heaven. Also she dumped JFK so
Moira Shearer (The Red Shoes)— Moira Shearer is one of the most awe-inspiring dancers ever put to screen. Watching her performance in 'The Red Shoes' changed my fucking life. When I saw her in 'Peeping Tom' it was one of the most anxiety-inducing experiences I've ever had watching a film. Moira Shearer was not only an actress who can make you feel, she's an actress who can make you feel *desperately afraid* for her. An all-time favourite for horror, dance, and just her /presence/, man.
This is round 2 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.
[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]
Gene Tierney:
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The entire plot of Laura is that a guy has to become completely obsessed with a woman after just seeing her portrait. This only works because Gene was cast in the role. I 10000% believe anyone could fall in love after seeing her face.
Those eyes! Just look at those eyes! She’s at her hottest in Leave Her To Heaven— I literally want her to ruin my life.
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Absolute grade-A babe, she is the perfection incarnate.
Gene Tierney was beautiful, poised, intense. I associate her with roles where she was murderous or an intelligent woman being patronized to - like a woman on the edge! As far as I am concerned, she deserved to do whatever she wanted.
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She had a slight overbite which was amazingly sexy, and a throaty voice that was very memorable as well. She’s terrific in Laura, which reminds me I should watch it again.
EYES!! Her diabolical acting in Leave Her to Heaven is just perfect, Rosamund Pike definitely took notes for her Gone Girl from her.
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Oscar-nominated and simply one of the most beautiful women to ever walk this Earth.
Absolutely stunning. In Leave Her to Heaven, she reaches Rosamund-Pike-in-Gone-Girl levels of “holy fucking shit?!?!?!” She had a fling with JFK in the ‘40s and also dated the exes of Rita Hayworth and Hedy Lamarr (Prince Aly Khan and W. Howard Lee, respectively). Sadly, her daughter was born with a disability (during a time in which there were few good mainstream options for disabled children and their parents), likely because of a fan who was sick with measles and went out of her way to meet Tierney (who was pregnant) anyway. Topical! Sure would be good if people stayed home when they were sick! Anyway, she was also a Republican, which sucks. Laura and Leave Her to Heaven are great viewing though.
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Moira Shearer:
[editor's note: if your TWs include death, body horror, or general freaky stuff, go forward with caution with the videos. Enjoy!]
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Scottish flame-haired professional ballerina who made a successful move into films with ballet classic "The Red Shoes" and several other films. The best way to convey her beauty and grace is to see her in motion so gifsets are attached.
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Please check her out as Olympia in The Tales of Hoffmann, it's one of my favourite examples of automata ballet and she's so awesome in it
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Her performance in 'The Red Shoes' (if you ever have the opportunity to see this on the big screen, TAKE IT.)
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felixbrownies143 · 1 day
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BANGCHAN-ESCORT
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Masterlist
This story was inspired by the song 'ESCORT - by Chase Atlantic, which means that I'm gonna make the lyrics to a story.
➳Pairing: Bangchan x Escort!afab!reader
➳ Warnings: Smut ⋆ escort!reader ⋆ abusive sex (with other customers) ⋆ dom!chan ⋆ sub!reader ⋆ reader crying after sex
(Let me know if I've missed something!)
➳ Any slut-shaming or discrimination towards escort!reader/worker will be deleted, cause' it's not okay to discriminate any types of work especially this one
➳ Word Count: 4,2k
➳ Synopsis: All Chan wanna do is make you feel good but it is really what you want? Feeling good? Chan wasn't sure. He wanted you to feel his love but how is he going to show you love when there's nothing between you two? How is he able to show his love when you see him as one of your disgusting customers who just want to have their dick wet, or do you?
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Chan's POV:
(She in this pov is Y/N)
And there she was, standing in the foyer taking off her high heels. She is wearing a wine-red dress that barely covers her bum, the way the wine-red silk dress swathes her slender body so perfectly, showing all the curves and edges of her body.
The strap dress she's wearing is showing her collarbone and the v-line of the dress is showing her huge cleavage. Her long wavy hair vaguely covers all the exposed skin on her upper body making it look more eye-burning than ever. The view of her was expensive, I love it but to my disappointment, I know deep inside that I'm not the only one seeing her in this.
She then turns around to face me, "where?" she asks.
"Wait what? What do you mean?" I'm confused, not sure what she was talking about.
With a stern expression on her face, she repeats herself "Where do you wanna have sex?" her voice is unfaze, not one single countenance.
"W-wherever you want..." I reply too shy to look into her eyes.
I'm scared that if she sees my face she can see the visible blush on it, scared that she can see the stupidly little giggles I let out every time she looks at me but mostly am I scared she might be able to tell how my eyes are full of desire for her. So avoiding eye contact with her was the best choice and the floor seems to be the perfect place for my eyes to focus on at the moment. And by some chance it might also help me hide the visible blush on my face.
Without a single word, she turns around and starts to walk around checking out my house, deciding which place is the best to have intercourse on. She took her time walking around while I was following her like a lost puppy.
When she reached my room, she roamed the room, probably inspecting it. I hope that she doesn't see anything weird I've accidentally missed while cleaning the house before she came.
After a short amount of time inspecting it, she decides to speak up again "Here?" She asks turning around to face me.
Shit shit shit, I made eye contact with Y/N, I made eye contact with Y/N, shit she's so beautiful.
Whiteout hesitation I nod, fidgeting with my fingers due to nervousness.
"C'mon stop acting like it's our first time. Isn't it the reason why you call me here is to have sex?" Y/n retortes back at me and I can hear the annoyance in her tone.
"S-sorry..." I didn't know how to respond to her because it was partly true, I did wanna have sex with her but that was not all. Not the only reason why I called after her.
Y/N rolls her eyes at me after she realizes I won't get into action so she reaches to her back trying to unzip her red dress but she seems to be struggling a bit.
"Can you help me unzip my dress instead of standing there like an idiot?" She demands. Straight to the action, I reach for the zipper on the back of her dress and swiftly unzip it.
Her skin is so smooth and soft...I wonder what kind of lotion she uses on this glamorous skin. I wish I could feel this smoothness against my body every day, wish I could touch and feel every inch of this. If I press my lips against it, would I feel this softness even more? What if I bite down into it, will it tear up? And my tongue against it, licking it, tasting it...
coming closer to her, I gently presses a soft kiss on her shoulder. At first, she seems a little startled but she then turns around and presses her plump and soft lip on mine gently, responding to my kiss.
Getting her response, I kiss her even deeper, slightly biting her bottom lip to have access into her mouth while my hand roams around her body. From the waist to the curve of her hips, to her ass where I gave it a slight squeeze.
Breaking the kiss for a second to look her in the eyes and oh god she was so beautiful especially today. Her orbs look like shining pearls, the long lashes on her eyes, her soft plump lips that I wish I could kiss on all day. I bring a hand up against her lips and brush it while my eyes remain on hers. I can feel my heart racing against my chest, hopefully she doesn't notice it.
Might or might not have accidentally stared at her for way too long so when she spoke up again she caught me off guard "Are you done staring yet, I don't have time to waste?"
Her words quickly brought me back to life and I instantly answers "O-ohh yes, sorry I didn't mean to stare"
Fuck stupid me, did she get angry 'cause I wasted her time?
Pushing my words away Y/N didn't seem to care and bought her hand down my body reaching to my crotch and palming my cock over my black shorts.
2nd person POV:
The restricted movement from your hand is enough to make Chan fully hard. Just a single touch from you or just a simple look from you is all it takes to make Chan hard and he can't help it, he can't help the little crush he has on you.
Your lips reach out to Chan's but before your lips could even touch you stop and look him in his eyes for a second. You don't know what you saw but you're pretty certain that it's not lust you see in his eyes, it's something else, something you've never seen from any other males before, it's weird...
Your lips are pressed against Chan's lips and with his hand he's holding your head in place so you can't restrict his kiss, his love. He slightly slid his tongue on your bottom lip asking for permission and when you accepted he hungrily devoured your lips.
After god knows how long you two have been roaming each other's body and tasting each other, you finally be able to break the kiss, breathing heavily, gasping for air. You look at Chan and he's also as breathless as you, he's all red and flustrated, how cute you thought to yourself.
You have been with several men before they're men with different types of weird fetishes and kinks, others are more on the vanilla side but they're all the same at one point. They're all after sex, they see you as a sex toy and you are after their money so you guess it's a win-win situation. These customers of yours change every time, some of the customers might call after you twice but never more so you were glad that you never needed to meet those men again, especially those with insane kinks and requests but that was until you met Chan.
You meet Chan at a nightclub downtown, on that specific night you were searching for a new 'customer' and Chan happens to offer you a drink. You guys had a nice talk together about all of the topics in this world and you got to know that Chan is a musical guy he loved to write and produce music but never really dared to post his songs. Later on that night, Chan asked you to come over to his place to listen to his songs and you agreed.
The first night with Chan was almost like any other night with other men, they were for the sex and you were for the money. Chan didn't have some weird kink or request so it was a relief to you but there was something that made him stand out from the rest.
You'd never stay after each time with your customers but somehow that specific night you stayed, stayed in Chan's arms, a total stranger but you feel really calm. You don't know what it is that made you stay, maybe those eyes that looked at you so differently.
You've always loved to look in his eyes they're diffrent in a way that you can't quite explain... they carry something, not lust something more than that. Those eyes that didn't see you as a toy, those eyes that actually see you as a human, those eyes that hold something more than lust something more sincere.
"Don't tease...." Chan's whiny voice interrupted your thoughts. His hot breath is against your neck and you can feel every hair on your body stand up, feel the blood rushing throughout your body.
You were so completely lost in your thoughts that you forgot that you were still palming Chan over his shorts. Not to waste more time you got on your knees and started to pull down his shorts.
You were met with his punch pink tip fronting your face. Looking up at Chan through your long curly lashes, you could see his yearning expression for what was about to come next. Looking back at his cock you could see some bean of precum leaking from his tip. You slightly tap his tip with your index finger, seeing a string of precum sticking to your finger. Bringing your finger to your mouth you give it a taste, feeling a slight taste of saltiness with a hint of sweetness.
Looking at Chan from below, with your finger still in your mouth, you asked him "Guess you started to eat pineapple these days huh?"
Your question at first dazed Chan, 'cuz why the hell would you ask someone if they like pineapple while giving them a blow job but that's when it hit him. "Ah yeah I started to drink pineapple juice" Chan confesses, feeling the embarrassment building up.
You on the other hand did not care about it, you brought up a hand to grab his cock giving it some pumps. Chan hizzes inwards through his teeth as he feels the stimulation on his length. You stimulate his tip letting the precum coat his length. Chan lets out some slight groans as he feels the stimulations from your hand, becoming more impatient for you to put him in your mouth.
After what you thought was enough foreplay you guide his length to your mouth, taking only his tip in your mouth. Sucking it oh so slightly. Chan let out a hoarse moan when the wetness of your saliva on his tip almost made him bust right then and there.
You slowly but certainly start to take more of his length into you, getting as deep as you possibly can. When you feel the tip of his length hit the back of your throat you know that you can't possibly go deeper but there are plenty of inches left so you have to cover them up with your hand.
Looking at Chan you could see his mouth was hung open as he felt the pleasure taking over him. He places a hand on your head gently grabbing your hair to guide your rhythm. "Fuck baby, so good...." Chan pleasantly murmurs as he guides your head bobbing on his cock.
As time passes Chan seems more lost in the pleasure when he forces you deeper down his cock making it harder for you to take him. Every hit down your throat is bringing Chan closer to his release. You could feel the taste of saltiness of his precum taking over your tastebuds as Chan starts to slow down on his rhythm. He was close and you were ready for his loads.
You take in a deep breath as you get ready for the last blow, but before you even got the chance, Chan warns "fuck baby, stop". Chan started to call you by the nickname 'baby' after the third time you guys had sex together. You always wonder why he'd call someone like you 'baby', you thought maybe it was to set the mood so you never confronted him about it.
Chan groaned as you could feel him throbbing inside of your mouth, you knew that he was about to blow. You let go of his length, looking up at Chan confused about why he wanted to stop. Chan clenches his jaw and takes some deep breaths as he tries his best to calm himself down. Chan was certain he was one step away from cumming but he didn't, he didn't want to cum before he got to feel you around him.
Dragging his unsteady feet towards the bed, he then sat down on it, and with a steady gaze he had on you he called out "What are you waiting for, come" Chan smirkingly said as he patted his thigh. You were surely confused but you still complied with his order and went to sit on his lap.
Once on his lap, Chan brought his hands down to your core "Look at you, all wet and nice for me hmm?"
"Yea..." You eagerly whined as you feel the excitement building in your core as Chan played with your clit, taking his time to feel the wetness from you.
"Please...just put it in already" You let out a piteous moan when Chan's slender fingers tease your hole, dipping in and out of it. He's always like this, teasing you with his fingers. Sometimes you even wonder if it's a kink of him, seeing you eagerly whimpering for him, seeing you desperately begging him to fuck you.
You can't help but press your weight down on him, feeling his length sliding against your clit. You let out a high-pitched moan when feel every nerve on your sensitive clit react to his veiny length. "Patience baby, gotta prep you first" Chan's lips curve to a smug smirk as he sinks his fingers inside of you.
Chan's finger finds their way inside of you, workers his way in and out of you, to the spots that he knows you loved so much. He took his time feeling your insides as he pumps you with his fingers. You can't help but let out a trail of whiny moans as Chan constantly stimulates your g-spot.
"Fuck Chris I'm close!" You breathe out as you feel a knot forming in your stomach longing for a sweet release. You could feel the orgasm at the tip of your tongue when Chan sped up his movements. You wrap your arms around Chan's neck, hugging him close to you when the knot in your stomach tenses your muscle.
Your whole body shocks as you feel the knot lose and a wave of pleasure hits you. The sweet taste of the releases slackens your body. You rested your head on Chan's broad shoulder as you tries to collect your breath.
Chan takes his finger out of you and views them. Chan's fingers are wrinkled like raisins due to your sloppy cunt that soaked his fingers with its juice. Chan parts his fingers to see your release sticking between his fingers. "So fucking lewd" He laughs for himself.
Once you have calmed down and looked at Chan again he said "That's it, baby, now you're ready" giving you a peck on your lips.
Chan reaches to his bedside table to pull out a small square-shaped piece of plastic. He brought it close to your lips and demanded "Bite", you complied with his order and bit down the edge of the plastic piece. With a swift motion, he tears the square-shaped piece apart and out of it he takes the condom and slides it down his length.
Once settled, Chan leaned backward and place his arms back to support his body, and with a sly tone he urges "Go on baby, you know what to do".
You gaze up at Chan before you guide his tip to your cunt, lowering yourself down on him and you can feel every inch of him sinking into you. You bite down on your lips to not rent out a trail of whimpers as you feel the deliciously stretch Chan's cock is giving you.
"Fuck baby, you're always so tight" Chan groans as he feels the warmth of your cunt encircles his length. Chan brings his fingers to your clit, stimulating it to help you open up more. You whine when you get stimulations from both your clit and your cunt.
"Fuck~..." You cry out when you bottom out on Chan. The pleasure of Chan's thick, veiny, cock is almost unbearable. Your thigh trembles as his thick length fills your sloppy cunt, feeling so clearly all the tingling nerves in your cunt.
Chan on the other hand isn't doing any better either. The bowjob you gave him before got him really sensitive about everything, he knew that he couldn't last long. Even though he has had the time to calm down from the blowjob he still couldn't last long when your tight cunt feels so good, squeezing him so perfectly. The warmth from your cunt is so pleasant making him feel so welcome to fuck you.
Once adjusted to Chan, you jerkily bounced on him feeling the stings from the stretch but at the same time, it hits you with a wave of pleasure. The wave of pleasure when your cunt slides on his cock, feeling the veiny texture of his sharp.
Chan has a firm grip on your hip with his hands guiding your bounces as his lips work it way with your nipples, sucking on them so gently. His pump lip gently nibbles on your buds making them hard so he can circle the tip of his tongue around them so smoothly, hearing the cute sound you let out when he accidentally nibbles too hard.
"You feel so good, baby" Looking at your moist skin he wishes he could leave a mark on it, marking you as his, but he wasn't allowed. You didn't want anyone to leave a mark on you, because you once said that it would feel like you belongs to them and you didn't want that, didn't want to feel like you belongs to your 'customer'. How unfortunate, cause Chan really wanted to mark you as his, his only.
Hearing your stifled moans and feeling you clench hard around him, Chan knows you are also close to your release like he does. The air was now only filled with the sound of skin slapping together and your and Chan's grunts and moans together.
Feeling yourself on the brim, you squeeze Chan's shoulder letting him know that your orgasm is approaching. Your bounce is getting sloppier as you feel him throbbing inside of you. His lips move messily against yours as his firm grip on your waist fastens your rhythm.
And that's when it hits you. The feeling of orgasms creeps under your skin like an electric shock throughout your body. You let out an inaudible whimper as your head starts to spin along with the sparkling stars start to appear when your sight starts to blur. You don't know if it's from Chan or the orgasm but you could feel the taste of sweetness to the tip of your tongue.
"That's my good girl" Chan forces out as he also at his orgasm. Chan bite down on your lips when the pleasure from your cunt was too pleasant for him to hold back his load. With a low groan, Chan shoots his load as he squeezes down your hip feeling the seeds spilling from his tip into the condom.
Chan lets go of your lips and rests his head on the crock of your neck, inhaling a deep breath of your scent. Chan can feel the feeling of contentment and bliss rising from his loin all over his body. This is it, all he needed was to smell your scent at the most sublime part, knowing that you're the one making him feel good, the only one who could satisfy him.
Calming down from your orgasm you could feel Chan placing trails of kisses on your drenched forehead "That's it baby, how are you feeling?" Chan brought up a hand to tuck away the strand of hairs that cover your face behind your ear.
You can barely get out an answer so you just nod reassuring him that you are fine. Chan lifts your hand and places a kiss on the back of your hand and that's when he notice, he notices the bruises on your wrist. And that's when reality hit him.
Chan's POV:
In reality, I didn't want to have sex with her, well to be honest I do want to but I wanna respect her because I know that deep inside she doesn't want to do this, I know deep inside she is hating it. But I need an excuse to check on her body, search for any sign of abusive sex she once again has gone through.
I hate it, I hate knowing that other disgusting men who see women as a toy touching her, I wish I could beat them up and torture them for all the things they did to her. I hate how she has no other choice but to sell her body, hate I when I see those bruises and scars all over her body. The bruises around her neck, wrist, ankle and inner thigh.
It hurts to see all those bruises on her inner thigh, it makes my heart arch every time I see those bruises that seem like to increase every single day. I carefully carcasses over her bruises hoping that some magic will happen and the bruises will fade away but they don't, they're still there like a red wine stain on a white t-shirt. The stain might fade away little by little as time passes but it'll never fully fade away as same as all the things that are left behind, the bruises will one day fade away but the wounds in her head and heart will never fade away.
Whenever I see those bruises on her body I just wanna completely lose it all, I wanna embrace her, ask who did this to her, and kiss all the bruises hoping that the pain will go away. I wanna show her her worth, wanna make her feel loved and safe for the rest of her life. It hurts seeing her suffer like this.
"Does it....does it hurt much?" I didn't even realize I asked until some second later I realized that the word slipped out of my mouth.
Her eyes slowly open and with her big doe eyes she looks at me confused but then she slowly realizes what I am talking about when she notices how I caress the bruises on her inner thigh. The silence spread around the room and she didn't answer my question, I could see a slight discomfort on her face, it lasted only some seconds but I was fast enough to catch it.
Fuck did I ask too much? Did I make her uncomfortable? I shouldn't have said it. What happened is she doesn't want to meet me again or what if- "Yeah it does" she murmurs.
My thoughts were cut off by her sudden answer "...it hurts really really bad..." she cried out. Her voice was now completely wobbly, she brings up a hand to cover up her scrunched-up face.
I could see the tears leaking out of her hands even though she had covered them with her hands. Without hesitation I embrace her in my arms, comforting her, carefully patting her head trying my best to calm her down.
"Shhh it's okay....it's okay don't cry...everything is gonna be okay, I'm here now you can feel safe with me" She cried even more after hearing my words. She wrapped her arms around my neck and cried the hardest she could, letting everything out. I could feel her body shaking and tensing up showing how much she had been through.
2nd person POV:
All Chan wanna do is make you feel good but it is really what you want? Feeling good? Chan wasn't sure. He wanted you to feel his love but how is he going to show you love when there's nothing between you two? How is he able to show his love when you see him as one of your disgusting horny ass customers who just want to have their dick wet? Or do you?
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First post in Tumblr, I hope y'all like it!
This is a old post from my Wattpad so it might have some misspellings and doesn't fit for Tumblr but I hope you still like it ♡
love y'all, have an amazing day ♥♥♥
113 notes · View notes
cevansbrat0007 · 17 hours
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New In Town
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Summary: Introducing Chapter One of my Sweet Renegades Series. Sparks fly when you accidentally find yourself sitting next to Bounty Hunter, Ari Levinson.
Warnings: Mature Themes, Ari Being A Menace, Mentions of Death and Grief, Mentions of Book Boyfriends, Allusions to Disordered Eating, Cursing, Minors DNI
A/N: Major thanks to @curls-and-eyeliner for helping me plot out this chapter. This story is part of my Sweet Renegades Series. Not beta'd. All mistakes are my own. Likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated. Thanks for reading!
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It was happening again. You could feel him doing it. You knew without turning your head that the bastard had gone back to staring.
At you.
Gritting your teeth, you make a point of adjusting the skirt of your dress before returning your focus to Reverend Turner at the pulpit. Trying your best to ignore the hum of electricity in your veins, you find yourself wishing that you’d opted to stay home today. After all, you hadn’t been to church in ages. 
So what on earth possessed you to return today?
It’s not like you were concerned for your immortal soul or anything. On the contrary, you and God were good. You were even on speaking terms again – now that you’d finally forgiven him for calling your Uncle Leon home before you were ready to let him go.
That had been nearly three years ago.
These days, your grief has taken a backseat in favor of running the town’s only bookshop, Baubles & Quills. Once owned by your Uncle, the store had become your sanctuary as you’d struggled to cope with the loss of the only family you’d ever had. 
And now that you’d deemed life worth living again you’d apparently decided that attending Calvary Baptist Church’s Sunday morning service was a good idea. But the one thing you hadn’t counted on when you’d politely – and strategically – taken a seat in the pew closest to the door was that you’d end up sharing it with the likes of him.    
That bounty hunter fella that you’d been hearing about for the last week. His arrival had practically sent your little town into a regular feeding frenzy. Word on the street was that he was investigating something that had to do with your old high school pal, Martin Westbrook.
At least that’s what Charline Marshall had said when she’d stopped by your shop to return a book she’d purchased because she didn’t care for the ending. While you weren’t usually one for gossip, you’d been intrigued by her, ah, description of the handsome stranger that had taken up residence just a few blocks south of where you lived.
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Two Days Ago…
“His name is Ari Levinson. Kinda strange, right?” She’d whispered conspiratorially, running a hand through her copper colored tresses . “But he’s a tall drink of water with the prettiest blue eyes I‘ve ever seen.”
“Oh really?” You’d mumbled, frowning at the crease that adorned the spine of the paperback book in your hands. Another one for the discount rack.
“Mhm. He’s handsome all over.” Charline had continued, picking up one of your more elaborate looking bookmarks and pretending to study it before using it to fan herself. “And not only that, but…” She’d leaned in then, allowing her freshly manicured nails lightly graze your arm. “I think he likes me.”
“Oh? Has he come out and said that?” Your eyes had gone wide with feigned interest. Because of course the man would be into Charline Anne Marshall. Who wouldn’t be? The woman was beautiful and, what’s more, she knew it.  
“Well, I mean…not yet.” The woman had let out a disappointed little sigh. “But I’m almost certain he will. I’m just giving him time to get settled in, you know?” She’d said, her perfectly painted lips curving into a smile as she held out a hand for her change. 
“How kind of you.” Good Lord how you wished you could hurry things along so you could go back to enjoying your peace and quiet. 
“Ari has already interviewed me twice. He even gave me his number, just in case I happen to remember anything else.” She’d tucked the cash from her return into her purse. “I think I might call him up and tell him that my memory works best after a couple of drinks. Think that’ll work?”
“I guess you’ll never know if you don’t try.” Even though you were annoyed, you’d pasted on a fake smile and closed the register, hoping that might be enough to convince her to end the conversation and move on already.
“Why, I think you just might be right.” Your unwanted guest held up the bookmark that was still in her grasp, her unspoken question left hanging in the air. “And this?”
“It’s on the house, Charline.” You’d patiently replied, bracing your elbows on the counter. “Best of luck landing your bounty hunter beau.”
“Well, aren’t you just a gem?” She’d all but squealed, sounding positively giddy as she took a step back. “You know, I bet if you spent a little more time out in the real world instead of holed-up in here with all these books, you’d probably be able to land a man too. You’d be awful pretty if you’d just put in a little bit of effort into it. I mean –” 
“No thanks.” You’d simply shrugged, unable to summon up enough energy to be outraged by the dig. 
It wasn’t worth the breath you would've wasted trying to explain why you were better off keeping the company of your book boyfriends. A real man required too much care and feeding for your tastes. 
“If you say so, sugar. But–” She’d responded as she strode towards the door. “Oh! You should come to my next party. We’ll let Mary Kay sponsor your makeover.”   
'No offense, Charline, but I’d rather put a campfire out with my face than attend your next Mary Kay get-together featuring you and ten of your mother’s closest friends.' You'd thought to yourself.
“Uh, maybe. We’ll see.” You’d hedged before turning on your heel and heading in the direction of the stockroom. “Enjoy the bookmark!” God, you’d never been so happy to hear someone exit your shop than you were at that moment.
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Which brought you back to the present. You’re startled out of your reverie when the congregation erupts into thunderous applause, signaling the end of Reverend Turner’s sermon.  You knew you were going to have to move quickly if you wanted to avoid any unwanted attention from other members of the flock. 
Or worse yet: be forced into making small talk with Ari Levinson. Assuming that beast of a man actually possessed enough brain cells to actually string together a sentence or two. Which was a shame because he really was easy on the eyes. 
Unfortunately for you, you don’t realize that now you’re the one who’s staring until you notice the corner of his mouth tilt up in a smirk. Shit. The cocky lawman nods his head in your direction before having the audacity to mouth the word: “howdy”. It almost makes you wonder what his voice would sound like. 
Would his southern drawl be thick and rough, or smooth and easygoing? Assuming he was southern, that is.
Feeling your cheeks heat, you make fast work of grabbing your things before scooting out of the pew, doing your best to sneak out of the service before everyone is formally dismissed. The absolute last thing you needed was to have this man thinking you were like every other woman in this town who was willing to practically trip over herself just to get a good look at him. 
On your way out you brush past Sister Mary Jo Winans, who is all too eager to follow you out the door and halfway down the front stairs.
So much for making a clean getaway.
“You’re not staying for the potluck?” She wheezes, gripping the railing as she struggles to catch her breath. 
“Afraid not, Sister Winans.” You tell her while digging through your purse for your keys. “I’ve gotta go home and change so I can head over to the shop.”
“But it’s Sunday, honey.” The matronly woman huffs, adjusting the angle of her wide-brim church hat. “This is the day that the Lord has made. We are to rejoice and be glad in it. It’s all right there in the good Book.”
“Be that as it may, Sister, I’m afraid I can’t stay. Plus I wouldn’t feel right about eating when I didn’t bring a dish to contribute, so…” You offer up a one-armed shrug. “Next time.” 
You also weren’t a fan of eating in front of people. You were always self-conscious about whatever you put on your plate, convinced that you were being judged for your choices. Your stomach growls at the mention of food, reminding you that you’d left some cottage cheese and fruit behind at the shop. That would just have to do until you found the wherewithal to make it to the grocery store.   
“But–”
“Next time. I promise.” You kindly interrupt, hoping that she would just let the issue drop. “By the way, I set aside a copy of Joyce Meyer’s latest book for you.”
“You did?”
“Yep.” You confirm as you begin walking backwards towards the nearby parking lot. “Stop by anytime. We’ll consider it an early birthday present, alright?” Smiling when she nods, you toss her a little wave before speed walking the rest of the way to your car. 
Unlocking it, you climb in the driver’s seat and slam the door before gunning the engine. Finally free, you peel out of the lot and turn onto the empty street. Needing to focus on something other than your thoughts about a certain bounty hunter, you decide to turn up the radio, praying for your traitorous brain to cooperate. 
Yeah, no such luck. 
“Fuck you, Levinson.” You spit, wishing that he was close enough to hear you right then. Because the way you saw it, the sooner he packed his shit and moved on, the better off you and everyone else in this godforsaken town would be. And if he knew what was good for him, he’d stay far away from you.
He’d have more luck getting information out of a drunk Charline than he would trying to get you to spill your guts. And the moment he threatened you, you were planning to call Bell’s Creek PD to let them deal with it. Until then, you had some empty shelves to stock. But first…
You were gonna need to find someone to cut you out of these damned spanx.
END 
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fruitbythefoot7 · 5 hours
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will loves mike the way mike wants to be loved 
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honeybleed · 21 hours
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content & warnings: fem!reader, set in medieval europe but the dialogue might be modern (sorry), bandit!toji, nobles!sukuna&geto, (sukuna is your father/geto is your husband) dark themes (emotional and familial abuse, extreme violence, blood, gore, mental ableism, classism, misogyny, kidnapping, suicide, major character deaths) smut, angst and tragic ending
author’s note: my entry to @kentopedia’s love through the ages event! the artwork for this cover is a painting called ‘Annunciation’ by Jan van Eyck // mdni banner credit to @/cafekitsune. this is a toji fic but the reader and him don’t really have a romance in this which is kinda funny but hey!
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word count: 4.5k
You were surrounded by rotten people. You knew that all too well.
Gaining some self-awareness around the tender age of six when you watched your father — the esteemed noble Ryomen Sukuna send a teenage mother to her death for stealing crops for her two starving children.
His estate was a den of vipers, to say the least.
Father was merely a term. Yes, he was the one who bred your mother to give birth to you but your mother was trial and error in his quest to birth a male heir.
He was barely around which was for the better. He couldn’t even remember your name out of the countless children he had scattered across the land.
Yet — even with his absence, everybody within that cesspool of deceit and malice worshipped the ground he walked on. He hated you. So they despised you.
Despite his general dislike towards you, he viewed you as leverage. As a beautiful young woman from high nobility, you did have some sort of use.
He had been eyeing land from the Geto family for a long time and had butt heads with the head of the clan.
So you were shifted off by your father to marry their eldest son — Geto Suguru. It was a bit of a leap to go from not even having a taste of romantic relationships to suddenly having a lavish wedding ceremony.
You hadn’t even spoken to the man until you left in the carriage away from the church that was meant to bring you to your new home.
Some of the elder women in your family in the days upcoming to your wedding reminded you that husbands expected consummation of marriage on the first night.
Nervous was an understatement. Suguru was a handsome man.
Inky black tresses that fell past his back, smile though mischievous like a cunning fox still radiated warmth in the otherwise arctic banquet hall, full of hateful glares.
You were thankful as shallow as it sounded to be betrothed to somebody in your age group, he was soft-spoken with a voice reminiscent of honey with how sweet and soothing it was, and for the most part, he was considerate.
“…So, here we are,” Suguru said with a half smile as you sat on the edge of the four-posted emperor bed. “Married life.”
The bed was draped in sumptuous silks and velvets of crimson and scarlet hues. Soft pillows and cushions, plump as it was stuffed with the finest feathers.
You gave him a nod instead. His eyes flickered to your hands anxiously wringing.
“Is something wrong?” He questioned, voice laced with concern.
You cleared your throat. Women were meant to be seen and not heard, that was the general mindset of your family.
“…Are you going to make love to me?” You asked rather meekly, struggling to meet his eyes.
Suguru’s eyes immediately widened, a bewildered look on his face. You barely spoke, and the first thing you talked about was sex?
He would be lying if he said he wasn’t attracted to you. But there was a sense of distance between the two of you. He didn’t blame you whatsoever.
But it was disheartening all the same.
He crouched down and took your hands in his. The action made you instantly gasp.
“Would you want that?” He asked tenderly, his hazel eyes boring into your own.
It was never about what you wanted within the Ryomen dynasty. It was always to follow what he wanted.
Yet, here you were given the choice by a man you had just met. Albeit your husband, but the simple question made some of your apprehension melt away.
To make love to your husband in the eyes of the women in your family was a part of your duty as a wife.
“I…don’t exactly know what to do.” You whispered as your eyes fixed on the floor of the bedroom chambers.
“We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. You are my wife, and I intend to follow the vows I made to you thoroughly.” Suguru said, firmly.
“To love and to cherish.”
“But what if I want to?”
“So tell me that you want me to touch you. I need to hear it. From your lips.”
Your body was an inferno.
All senses were alight as you felt Suguru’s rigid and taut muscles press against you, panting as the room swirled around with the sinful noises of skin slapping, almost animalistic, low and guttural grunts from Suguru and salacious moans you didn’t even know were within you.
His breath ghosted along your skin which was slick with sweat.
His golden eyes reminiscent of the gold that adorned your neck earlier fixated on your own, piercing them as the pad of his thumb dragged along your soaked slit.
You drew a sharp intake of breath as you felt him part your wet heat, a pang of arousal shooting through you as he began to massage your sensitive nub that was aching from the way his cock dragged against your gummy walls.
Eyes rolling back, it ached at first but with the way his fingers interlaced with yours and his lips pressed against your temple with sweet whispers, it slowly but surely ebbed away, and morphed into pure ecstasy.
“I've got you.”
“I can't get enough of you.”
“Gods above, I love you.” He murmured as his hand was firmly planted on the nape of your neck, groaning and gasping as he lost himself in the sensations that rushed through his body.
From then on, Geto Suguru was your everything.
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The façade of the man you were sure was your soulmate shattered before your very eyes.
You'd settled into the Geto estate smoothly. The maids sang your praises despite you assuring them there was no need to.
Suguru did everything in his power to make sure you were comfortable. The man was enraptured with you and it was a completely foreign feeling.
It was hard to adjust from being a black sheep to suddenly being the apple of somebody's eye. At first, you were reserved despite him making love to you like you were estranged lovers reunited after centuries on your wedding day.
But gradually, you came out of your shell. It was no longer a one-sided display of affection. You could kiss him in front of others without feeling shame.
Arms always linked. Hands always held. You were glued to his hip and he relished every moment of it. It was all he wanted.
Suguru was often preoccupied with his family affairs as he was now head of the clan after marrying you.
He made it known that he was deeply remorseful and the last thing he would ever want was to keep you alone. You were his beloved wife.
Nonetheless, you weren't perturbed. You weren't a person who craved companionship 24/7.
He promised to make it up to you. And that he did.
The two of you strolled through as you leant into him. He was so tall and broad, that the sunlight reflected on his features made him all the more handsome.
"Thank you for bringing me here, darling." You said gently as you squeezed him, earning a chuckle.
"No need to thank me, it is the least I could do, my love." He responded as he gazed at you with fondness in his eyes. "I've been meaning to show you around the place properly. I know it is rather large but there's still so much more."
Wordlessly, you rested your head against his shoulder. Suddenly, you felt him tense up as he stared at the labourers toiling in the fields.
Your eyebrows furrowed.
You'd never actually seen Suguru in any state of distress. In the months you'd been married, he was always in a state of bliss and content.
He released you and stormed over towards the grassy lands.
"What on Earth are you doing...?!" He barked out.
At first, you simply pursed your lips into a thin line. Yes, it was unfortunate to see Suguru yelling at the workers but that was the norm.
The rare times you'd saw your father, he did the same to those who tended to the fields.
But it was as if something had taken over Suguru. The workers' faces were drawn with exhaustion and despair but now they were cowering and pleading for mercy.
His words were venomous and cruel.
Your stomach began to churn, your beloved husband was morphing into the poisonous vipers you had once been suffocated within the Sukuna estate.
Instantly, your hands flew to cover your mouth as the blow echoed through the orchard.
Suguru had struck the little boy, no older than ten years old and sprung on him.
Everything was crashing down on you at once as the child's wail of pain pierced through the air.
You were blinded by love to the true nature of the man you had wed. Geto Suguru was no better than the rotten nobles you had been trapped with.
Without a second thought, you threw yourself between Suguru and the boy. Adrenaline pumping through your body, crouched as your hand gripped onto his wrist.
"That's ENOUGH!" You shrieked.
The little boy used you as a shield, clinging onto the skirts of your gown.
"You must understand. This is the way things are done here-"
"NO!" You yelled as you outstretched your arms in a protective stance. "I cannot and WILL NOT condone such cruelty. Not to anyone, especially not to innocent children, do you hear me?!"
Suguru's eyes were stormy as he yanked you up to face him.
"They are beneath us. What does it concern you how I speak to such peasants?" He said coldly. "Better yet, the same peasants I feed and shelter. They should be kissing the ground I walk on."
He was livid. The fact you had openly challenged him, undermining his authority.
"Let us leave." He said through gritted teeth, his jaw clenching.
The sudden spike of adrenaline had faded away, and you were back to being a fragile doll.
He dragged you away from the fields so harshly you thought your joint would pop out.
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Suguru liked to spoil you when it was time to retire to your bedchambers.
He'd untie your hair, combing through it with an ornate golden comb.
Your haughtiness was more than evident. You'd given him the cold shoulder ever since you returned to the estate.
Praying he wouldn't lash out at the labourers for what you did. He returned for dinner and tried to pretend as if nothing had happened.
As you sat in the satin powder white nightdress, he'd uncork the ornate glass bottle of the homemade neroli scented lotion that was crafted towards your preference.
The gentle aroma should've soothed your senses however as Suguru did his ritual, gliding his fingers over your skin in circular motions, you shook your head and pushed his hand away.
The once-adored essence of bitter orange blossoms had now soured. Sullied by the image of Suguru's cruelty.
"I am trying to pamper my dear wife. May I?" He said with a teasing tone, but it was hard to miss the edge of his voice as he looked up at you.
"Is this a joke to you...?" You said harshly.
"Whatever do you mean?" He replied, feigning ignorance.
"You...hurt that child in front of me!" You cried out.
"Are you still harping over this? Christ woman, you're acting like you lived in squalor like them." Suguru said, beyond irritated.
He wanted nothing more than for you to drop this.
"Your father flung a mutt onto my family. Do you know that?" Suguru said harshly.
Your blood ran ice cold as the words seeped into your brain.
"...Excuse me?" You said, shakily.
"I was gracious enough to take you in. To marry you. He told us that your mother was one of his whores. Not even a wife."
It felt as if the four walls were closing in on you. As if you were shrinking before Suguru as he sneered at you.
Fangs sunk into your veins, and your blood was being filled with venom as he went on.
"...So why?" You could only muster out, voice cracking as your vision blurred from the hot tears pricking your waterline.
"I like a challenge." He retorted smugly. Almost pleased with himself that he had broken you.
Retribution for the way you had humiliated him back in the orchard.
"And you're not too bad on the eyes. You're beautiful but I expected after all my coddling you'd be an obedient housewife. I see I was wrong. Mutts always show their true nature in the end, no matter how much you pamper them. They bite."
Maybe it was dramatic to say.
As you stared up at the ceiling as Suguru was fast asleep, you were sure if it was possible...that last sentence caused your heart to blacken and wilt.
He had destroyed you, the same way your father had.
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Nails chipped away. Hangnails, that’s what they were called? Against the pristine white snow, Toji’s red fingers contrasted.
Funny. He had many, many brushes with death.
He was sure even with one brush of death, he would stand right at the iron gates of Hell and feel flames lick at him.
Ironic how a man who was famed for slaughtering enemies on the battlefield loathed the metallic stench of blood.
His clothes had seeped and dried and his skin was slashed.
Looking back on his pitiful life, there wasn’t much to account for. He had no achievements.
He liked a good poem recitation if he ever came across a band of mercenaries around a campfire and strong alcohol.
Suddenly, he stirred at movement in his peripherals.
He had a sixth sense, it was a gift from his clan. The only useful thing they had given him.
“Old broad…are you gonna eat those?” He rasped out as the mouthwatering aroma of freshly baked buns wafted to his nose.
The elderly lady snickered to herself as she shook her head.
“I don’t think I can offer them to a boy whose guts are spilling out, can I?” She muttered as she crouched down to get a better look at him. “Bleeding all over my son’s grave.”
“I’m sorry…but it counts as a decoration?” Toji croaked out with a smug smile as he knocked his head back.
That was the last thing he remembered before he was submerged in complete darkness.
The woman sighed. It wasn’t unusual to come across corpses and half-dying people in this lawless land, stricken with war.
But there was a strange pang of sympathy that shot through her spine as her eyes raked over the man.
Jet black spikes reminiscent of thorns, body well defined with muscle and a scar on his lip. This was somebody’s son.
So, she headed back into the town and asked the blacksmith to fling onto the cart and drop the man into her cottage that was on the outskirts of the village.
Soon enough, the local doctor cleaned and stitched up his grave wounds.
“You realize this is a wanted man.” He spoke and peered at the woman, his glasses sliding down the bridge of his nose after he finished bandaging his abdominal area.
“Is that so?”
The doctor fumbled around his haversack and pulled out a bounty poster, handing it over to the woman.
“All the knights have been searching high and low for him. They say he alone has the strength of an army.”
“Wanted for what?” She questioned.
“Typical rogue. Was loyal to the King then went berserk, and slaughtered other men. Been on the run ever since.”
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His head throbbed.
The bed creaked as he pushed himself up on his elbows but immediately winced as he felt a stinging sensation across his abdomen.
He was pretty sure hell did not have porcelain animal figures and doilies on the mahogany chest of draws.
The big man upstairs must’ve thrown him another chance. Most people would’ve jumped for joy at the prospect of living, but Toji thumped his head back onto the pillows.
He was ready for this wretched existence to end and it just wasn’t letting go any time soon.
“Ah, you’re awake.” A familiar voice called out as the door swung open.
It was the same elderly lady from the cemetery. Toji was bewildered.
He knew he was heavy. It was impossible that this woman carried him with his hulking figure.
“How did I get here?”
She shrugged.
“A friend of a friend.”
Toji tore off the patchwork quilt and attempted to clamber out of the bed.
Attempt since the second he moved, his abdominals were on fire.
“You’ll tear open your stitches. Lay back down and rest for goodness’s sake.” She scolded as she tucked him back in.
“Look lady, thanks for patching me up but I don’t need your damn help.” Toji scowled.
“That’s rich. From the man who was strung up like prized mutton at the damn butchers.” She frowned, a hand on her hip. “I could care less what you do when you recover but for now you’re in my care.”
There was no use in arguing back. She was right and besides, he was bedbound. His body had seemed to give up on him.
So like a toddler, he turned to face the wall and pulled the covers over his head. Signalling for her to take her leave.
He perked up when he heard the plate set on the bedside table. The same baked delicacies that had somehow resurrected him.
Listening wasn’t something Toji was known for. Stealth, yes. Ruthless, check.
But not listening.
Regardless, Toji followed the woman’s instructions on telling him to rest and recover. And soon enough, he slowly was back on his feet.
Not completely back to his full strength and abilities, but he could walk without collapsing in pain which was a perk.
One morning, he decided to make his way out of the small cottage. The lady was hunched over, tending to a growing vegetable garden.
“You’ll hurt yourself like that, y’know.” He spoke, leaning against the wall of the house as he crossed his arms.
“Funny coming from you.” She responded wryly as she straightened her posture as she turned to face him.
“I’m bein’ serious, lady.” He chuckled as he strode over towards her, taking the small gardening spade from her hands. “Here, lemme show you.”
She watched in awe as he began to extract the weeds with precision.
“Hunching over will do you damage in the long run, but it also is a bad position when it comes to dealing with these little fuckers.” He said in a matter-of-fact tone.
From then on there, every morning Toji nurtured the garden bed with his savior that had come in the shape of a petite elderly woman he never bothered to learn the name of until he returned to his full strength.
He only learned her name as he stood in front of the headstone, next to the one he had bled out on almost six months ago.
Leaving her home, he never expected to drop by and hear from nosy villagers she was found alone and rotting in bed due to the cruel working conditions a certain nobleman hailing from the Sukuna clan had imposed open her.
Listening, is not a strong suit but revenge? It came as natural as breathing for Toji Fushiguro.
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Rumors swirled.
Nobody had seen you leave the bedchambers for weeks apart from Suguru, who wouldn’t even let the maids enter.
You lay in the bed that once was some sort of paradise, now a prison/
“I worry for you, my darling,” Suguru said plainly as you refused to face him, back turned. “You’re pushing my hand. I fear I may have to do what is done to disobedient mutts.”
Clutching onto the cushion tighter, you ignored him. Words could not capture how much you truly loathed this man.
Hearing his voice made you want to scrape your ears off.
In an attempt to humor him, you responded to his sick taunts.
“And what may that be?”
“I have more than enough witnesses to attest to your peculiar behavior over the past few weeks. You’ve lost your mind, darling. I think you are much better suited to a bedlam.”
That got your attention.
Slowly but surely you turned around to face him with a perplexed expression. The smile you had once loved dearly now made bile scratch at your throat.
“…What?”
“I have written to your father about it. He replied and said something about how your mother was just like you. Runs in the family it seems.” He chuckled.
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Toji’s mind was foggy with the rancor of war. That often happened when he was caught up in bloodlust and the haze of battle.
He saw you sat cross-legged. Eyes widening at the fact you were unperturbed.
Did you not hear the commotion of him barging into the estate? The screams of horror? Vases and furniture being demolished?
“You that bastard Sukuna’s daughter?” Toji questioned.
You nodded.
“I murdered your husband,” Toji said bluntly. “Now I’m gonna hold you ransom.”
“…Okay.”
“The hell do you mean ‘okay’?” Toji frowned at your compliance. “You ain’t gonna put up a fight?”
You shrugged.
“You did me a favor. I detest both my father and husband.”
He pulled a face as you fluttered your eyes closed.
“What are you doin’?” He questioned.
“Aren’t you going to kill me next?” You responded nonchalantly.
“Put your damn clothes on and get out. I’m not killing my gambit.”
“…Gambit?”
“Yes lady. Don’t make me repeat myself, you got five minutes cos I’m torching this place soon.” Toji said firmly as he turned back around and headed out of the bedroom.
“Did you kill Suguru…honestly?” You asked as you followed after him.
“You think I’m bluffin’?” Toji snickered as the two of you descended the grand stairwell.
Despite not leaving your chambers after Suguru had branded you as a madwoman, the estate was nothing like the one you were once accustomed to.
Your nose wrinkled at the acrid scent of blood and decay. Once always bustling with staff, the silence was suffocating.
The tapestries Suguru always bragged about were now reduced to charred and shredded remnants, hanging in tatters.
Almost losing your balance as the bannisters were shattered. The man despite being responsible for the destruction in front of you grabbed your wrist to steady you as if by instinct.
The silverware and crystal shattered into a thousand pieces and scattered across the room, mixing with the sanguine and sticky fluid.
“Look, I’ll show you.” Toji said gruffly, you could’ve sworn there was a smirk on his lips.
It was easy to say that you wanted Suguru dead. He had caused you immense pain and suffering over the past few months.
But as Toji crouched down beside the pallid corpse, bunching a fistful of familiar charcoal flowing locks, terror struck your system.
It hadn’t been too long but the sight of his lifeless face caused tremors to wrack through your entire body. You lost balance and scrambled away.
“He was a pretty boy, mhm? Most spoilt heiresses I know get shipped off to some balding gramps.“ Toji chuckled darkly.
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“…What’s the game plan here?” You questioned.
Thankful to be walking and amongst nature. Nobody would’ve thought almost an hour ago you were being taunted with the face of your dead husband by your kidnapper.
But you took it in stride.
“Eh? What’s it to you?”
“You might as well tell me.”
“You talk too much,” Toji muttered under his breath.
Night soon fell. He had let it slip this was at the fault of your father. You simply agreed.
Your father’s ruthless and callous actions had angered people over the years, and it was never out of the ordinary for the women and children to take the brunt for it.
“I’m not spoilt.” You said suddenly as Toji attempted to alight the firewood.
“Eh?” He responded. “That castle you were shacked up in begs to differ, princess.”
“You think just cos I was in that fancy place I was having a whale of a time? It was hell.”
“My heart weeps for you, it really does. But you have no idea how entitled you sound, rabbiting on to somebody like me.” He said harshly as he stood up from the log.
“We got a hell of a journey, tomorrow. So get some rest.” He settled on as he shed his armor off, slumping at the base of the oak tree to sleep.
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The sickening sound of metal impaling flesh. It took you a moment to register that Toji had been caught off guard, and stabbed.
You froze as he sank to his knees and blood gushed from his stomach and splattered your emerald green dress.
“…Toji?!” You mustered out.
“Get the hell out of here!” He bellowed.
Shaking your head vigorously, you stepped closer to him. It was stupid, yes. You had no sword in his fight (quite literally) but you saw no reason to abandon him.
“What are you doing?!” He cried out before he succumbed to coughing out blood.
“I’m staying with you!”
“Are you crazy, woman?”
Tears streamed down your cheeks.
“Yes. I am.”
“There’s no arguing with you.” He grumbled, shaking his head.
You felt the same hand that had stabbed Toji attempt to drag you away.
“Lord Sukuna’s been looking for you all over the place.” The man guffawed as he wrenched your jaw. “Such a pretty little thing. Maybe I should keep you for myself-”
The man immediately released his grip on you and howled in pain as he instantly collapsed.
Ogling the scene, it seemed as if Toji had summoned the little that was left of his strength and chopped through the man’s ankle.
He released the most blood-curdling shriek you ever had heard from a grown man as you gaped at it all.
Yet more men came. It was endless.
You were going to be sentenced to your father’s wrath and fury. You knew he would blame you for this entire debacle.
He’d probably laugh at the fact you were considered a pawn when you truly meant nothing to him.
Crawling next to where Toji was bleeding out on the grassy land, you stroked his cheek.
“I thought I told you to get lost.” Toji muttered, losing blood rapidly.
“Thank you for everything…” You murmured as you snatched the dagger from his pouch.
“Y/N…what the hell are you doing..?” Toji gasped out, visibly frightened as you brought the blade to your throat.
“You’ve made me the happiest I’ve been…in a very long time.”
His eyes widened as the abhorrent sound of flesh being sliced filled his ears, blood gushing all over him as your body slumped over his chest.
It took him a moment.
You took your own life just to avoid going back there. The body temperature dwindling away.
Gone.
All Toji could do was bawl as your blood seeped through his clothes and mixed with his own. His fingers digging into your dress.
author’s note: hope you enjoyed this (sorry), reblogs and comments are very much appreciated 🩷
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groguspicklejar · 3 days
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i might say something that will offend you in this post because i may have certain misconceptions and stereotypes about the lgbtqia+ community that i'm probably unaware of. but hopefully, this comes off across from a good place and any offense taken was completely unintentional and i apologize in advance. these are my opinions and mine alone because this is what i've noticed so far in my 22 years of life on this wretched earth:
in african culture, when a woman gets married, the groom's family has to pay dowry. and when that woman dies, she will be buried with her husband's family's graveyard, instead of being buried in her family's graveyard.
now i knew the first part of that for a long time, but i didn't know the second part and i was horrified when i did because why would my husband's family want to keep me after i'm no longer of service to them? because that's what marriage is to me, that's how i see it. a transaction. in the current age of alpha pod cast bros, incels and the men in my own country being inherently misogynistic anytime i express myself in a way that challenges how they view women, i've come to the conclusion that marrying someone from my own culture would probably kill me in more ways than one.
it would kill me in the sense of me knowing that there's more to life than being reduced to an unpaid maid, surrogate, sex machine and other things that are physically, mentally and emotionally debilitating.
i'd asked an older woman (40s) from an african culture about this and she... tried to make it seem as though the dowry thing wasn't a transaction and more like the groom's family saying thank you to the bride's family for raising such an upstanding young lady for their son. which, in hindsight, was just her trying to dampen the severity of what was actually going on and i think she was trying to make me feel less apprehensive about the idea of marriage, fully knowing that it will always, always, always put women at a disadvantage in some way, shape or form.
she, herself, is married. has been for over 20 years now. and she's someone close to me, someone who i regard very highly.
but for her to... i don't wanna say lie about the dowry thing because i feel like she has a different opinion than mine, but the way she looked at me when i asked her about it makes me aware that it's a sensitive issue and she didn't want to frighten me so the only way to do that was to not tell the truth.
and that lowkey makes me trust her less now, which hurts because i really do value her opinion on things. because i want the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, no matter how brutal it is, if i'm going to make an informed decision about certain things that might alter the course of my entire life.
anyway, dowry, husband's family claws to you, even after death. terrifying thought. my point is that in whatever cultures i hear about, whatever cultures i come across, there's always going to be a woman being exploited somehow. whether she's bought, sold or abused by someone close to her so that the men can benefit from it, there's always going to be that element to some degree and i think as women, especially, the younger generation, need to be made aware of it.
which then brings me to another issue that i now have to face because of this, which is the subject of my asexuality because it directly contradicts everything there is about being a woman in my particular culture. especially the part where it involves sex. and those of you from ethnic cultures and are part of the lgbtqia+ community know this struggle. it may vary from the gays, to the lesbians, to the bisexuals, to the transgenders, nonbinaries and so forth, but the different struggles we all face are connected by the same things and that's the horrifying and intricate beauty of the patriarchy and white supremacy.
what do i mean by this? the main point of all this is that sexual intercourse is a tool used to obtain and maintain power in a heterosexual relationship. and anyone who does not fall in a heterosexual relationship is seen as not normal or a threat or something negative.
let's take a gay relationship, for instance. perhaps there's two men in a relationship. since there isn't a woman in the equation, society sees it as wrong. society sees it as a threat to the heterosexual, patriarchal structure that has been built. why? since there isn't a woman in the equation that needs to fulfil the role of being subjugated and exploited in some way.
same with lesbian relationships, but it's slightly different in the sense of there isn't a man in the equation to do the exploiting. just two women existing in a relationship, no man involved as the center of attention, no man that needs his every desire to be catered to.
i feel like lesbians are the luckiest people because they don't have to deal with men the way straight women, gay men and other people do and it just goes to show that sexuality really isn't a choice. if it was, i'd chose not to be attracted to men.
with a bisexual, you're pressured to "pick a side" because being attracted to more than one gender, according to society, is also wrong. also, just because you're in a relationship with someone of one sex, doesn't mean you're still not attracted someone of another sex. not sure if this applies to pansexuals as well, but i think it does.
if it's a nonbinary person or gender neutral, also a problem because not conforming to one specific gender, no matter how uncomfortable it makes you feel or how it really is not something you can truly identify with.
transgender: transitioning from one gender to the other. also a problem, according to society because apparently it's wrong to identify with something you're not born as?? if i'm putting it lightly and in the simplest terms that i understand it. adding to that, society sees it as a problem because transgender men (or anyone who wasn't born a woman) carrying children and transgender women not having children is not what the patriarchy is about, therefore it is a threat to it because of how non-traditional it is. that and so much more regarding being transgender, it's a huge threat to the system(s) put in place and i think that's why they're at a higher risk of being physically put in harm's way which is frightening to think about.
asexual: since you're not attracted to anyone or don't want to have sex with anyone, you're a problem to society because you are that much harder to exploit if you aren't in a relationship with a man. because you're either "too picky" (code for; your standards are too high and i can't step up my game to reach them) or "you're sick and need to see a doctor" (code for; i can't seem to change your mind and neither have countless others, so i can't seem to find a way to force you to be in a relationship with me therefore my only other option is to make you feel like you're weird for not allowing that) or "you'll meet the right one" (you'll meet that one person who will finally get under your skin enough to sink their teeth in and use you the way they want to) or any other phrase the average asexual has heard.
like all of these things centered around men and men's desire for sex, for marriage, for children.
still, even if i wasn't asexual, even if i was just another straight woman, it wouldn't have made that much of a difference (if any at all) because i still stand firm in my belief that marriage was built as a transaction, as away to suppress and oppress women's voices and autonomy because the world i live in has not changed its ways regarding how daughters, wives and mothers are treated in households that are apprently supposed to protect them.
maybe my opinion might change when i'm older. maybe that's when men stop acting like complete monsters to us. maybe i might find that one guy who isn't as monstrous as the rest and even then, i'll still question if i'd want to be vulnerable enough to willingly legally bind myself to him and him to me. and if i do want that, then fine. so be it.
but as of right now and always? having kids? out of the question. married or not, i am not having a child for one reason or the next. i've seen myself around children, okay? i don't like the person i become when a kid pushes my boundary. i don't like having to suddenly question the morality of smacking a kid and telling them to shut up before i do something worse. and i can barely remember to eat and i hate cooking on a regular basis, the mere concept of feeding someone else at regular intervals so they grow up healthy is mentally exhausting, on top of doing countless other things to make sure that they grow up to be functional adults.
all of that is required as a woman, especially in my culture. i'm expected to get married and have kids at some point in my young adult life. but i don't know if i have it in me for even one of those things and i'm damn sure that i don't want the other.
the african woman i spoke of, i worry for her because when she dies probably maybe 3-4 decades from now because she's still in her 40s godwilling, her children will have to advocate for her when she can't, they will have to stand 10 toes down and demand that she be buried with the family she grew up in because that's what she said she wanted and not the family she married into. and i know they will because they love her too much not to grant her that final wish and let any cultural practice to get in the way of her last moments of happiness.
anyway, that's all i had to say.
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leejenowrld · 2 days
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i miss haerin and jeno .. what are some haerin and jeno couple things?
my loves 🥹 i miss them too. also i hope i understood what you’re asking cus i’m just gonna bullet point some cute things they do
btw (just to clarify this) haerin is the protagonist in my one shot mfal, where she is unnamed and just “y/n” however i gave her a name in my jaemin series as she appears there as a main character and it’s just easier to write her that way. and no, she is not newjeans haerin, she is an original character
they’re so incredibly loved up i can’t describe to you what they feel in their hearts every time they look into each others eyes, it’s such an intense and beautiful love
talking about eyes… haerin still gets nervous when jeno gives her strong and intense eye contact. or whenever he’s just giving her eye smiles and soft eyes, she’s been with him for so long and he’s practically her beating heart but cutie still gets nervous and shy’s away <3
jeno is suchhhh a softie even though it’s not what people would expect, because he’s the ‘okokokokok’ one in the relationship and takes care of her physically, sexually, emotionally and spiritually, he’s so protective and keeps her so safe. he has that kinda gentle authority over her? if you get what i mean. but at the same time she has him wrapped around her little finger, he will do anything she asks, he will follow her anywhere she wants to go, he will do anything for her, no doubts or no questions
it’s another reason they’re so into the daddy kink’ haerin just feels safe.
haerin also protects and takes care of him equally don’t worry!! she also protects and keeps him safe
they just casually refer to each other as “my wife” “my husband” it’s wild. they are locked in, they always think about getting married it literally has jeno grinning like he’s a little girl
as much as they love intense they do argue intense too but it’s all coming from a place of love! like the arguments always come from a place of care if you get me. they’re necessary arguments and make their love stronger in the long run
i think jeno’s biggest kink is when he’s fucked her so dumb and she can’t move but she’s still so desperate for his cock… and he’s just smirking at her with these dark and sex eyes, the most degrading shit slipping past his lips as she struggles and whines and has the most fucked out expression on her face … and he makes her crawl back to his cock and god
or she will climb on him, his arms resting back against the headboard as he just looks into her fucked out eyes and tuts, calling her such a desperate whore for daddy’s cock. she just bounces up and down and god… uses him to get off it’s so sexy
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lazorbeanz · 11 hours
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Sonamy Headcanons because I’m deprived and extremely delulu 🙃
🩷 Sonic has like- telepathic senses that tell him whenever Amy is in potential danger
“My Amy Senses are tingling..” 🤣
if you’ve watched Barbie Life in the Dreamhouse, you’ll get it lololol
💙 Sonamy road trips roles
Amy: driver, trip organiser, checklists checklist checklists, “DONT EAT THOSE THEY’RE FOR THE TRIP!!”, carpool karaoke *whips out her inner Ariana Grande*, “eughhh Sonic did you fart?!”
Sonic: passenger princess, DJ, snacc provider (and eater), sleeping beauty, “couldn’t we just use my speed to get there?”, argues with the GPS because he knows a faster route (one not requiring the road)
🩷 Sonic and Amy playing table tennis:
Amy: sonic, serve
Sonic: *💁‍♂️🕺*
Amy: no- serve the BALL xD
💙 Person: “are you two dating?”
Sonic and Amy: *while holding hands* “no”
🩷 Though he doesn’t admit it, Sonic also loves his quills massaged. Sometimes when Sonic and Amy are chilling under a tree together, and he ends up dozing off, Amy will rest his head on her lap and stroke her hand through his quills, resulting in a few faint purrs from the hedgehog, which she secretly gushes over about
💙 They could be arguing for 5 minutes straight and after be like:
“I LOVE YOUUUU!!” >:O
“I LOVE YOU TOOOOOO!!!!” >:O
🩷 Amy finds shopping twice as fun with Sonic because he will just sit her in the shopping cart, as they zip up and down the aisles whilst grabbing the items on the list…getting it all done in 2 minutes tops. They call it the Operation: S^2 (Speed Shopping)
💙 Sonic and Amy could already be years into marriage but will still do or say things that’ll make the other flustered, like the times when they were dating.
🩷 Amy knows that if Sonic is being really flirty with her, he usually wants something.
💙 If Sonic and Amy are both sick one day, they will tell off each other, insisting they should be at home resting.
It results in both of them at Amy’s house, snuggled up on the couch binging movies.
🩷 As much as Amy likes sharing the goss with rouge and the girls, there’s nothing like sharing it with her bf because he goes all “omg gurl no wayyy! 💅” or he starts spilling his own tea with her lmao “omg bestie you won’t believe who I saw the other day…”
💙 Sonic plans secret meet ups with Cream, who teaches him how to make her signature flower crowns…he hopes to master it so he can make Amy one, one day…
🩷 (this following hc was an idea from a comic I believe..don’t know who made it but if u do pls let me know for credit purposes ig kajsjwidj)
Amy knows how Sonic can sometimes struggle to speak his feelings and is often an action over words type of guy. So she came up with this thing that anytime Sonic wants to tell Amy he loves her, without verbally saying it, all he needs to do is squeeze her hand 3 times; I. Love. you.
💙 When Amy told Sonic she wanted to go dancing with him, she didn’t expect it to be just dance…anyways she had tons of fun!
🩷 If they have sleepovers, it’s a tradition that they wear matching onesies (guys comment what they should be hehe)
💙 Amy uses Sonic as the makeup tester. He ends up looking ready for the circus afterwards but he honestly doesn’t mind this because he gets tons of kissies when she’s trying out the lipsticks
🩷 Walks along the beach are nice and romantic until Sonic decides to be a lil shh and kick sand in Amy’s shoes *cue her dragging her naughty bf towards the ocean*
💙 Amy’s a sucker for old school romance; love letters, flowers, fancy dates…and Sonic knows this. (Well EVERYONE does actually…) So one day, despite how inexperienced he is in the whole romance department, sets aside time to work on writing a letter, buying flowers and arranging somewhere nice to take Amy out for her to fulfil her romance fantasies. She’ll even get to dress up for this occasion
🩷 Sonic helping out Amy in the kitchen be like:
“A-Amy…I burnt the water…”
“Sonic how TF did you BURN the water?!”
“I DONT KNO-”
💙 Amy is having a downer and is very clingy…so here is Sonic running his gf’s errands, with his gf clinging onto him. People will see this unusual phenomenon and he just gives them all the stare…nothing to see here! I mean it ain’t the first time he’s had to cart a pink hedgehog round the place
🩷 For the longest time, Amy has had a box sitting aside in her closet, containing a new special swim shirt, arm floaties, and a swimming kickboard, for when Sonic decides to finally learn how to swim. She can’t see the day any of the contents will be used but she could only hope.
💙 Sonic keeps an umbrella on standby for future “need to share an umbrella” emergencies
🩷 In the winter, they’re practically inseparable, using each other desperately to warm up. Because of this Tails had to design them jackets with instant heating, but they still end up back together even though they aren’t freezing anymore
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gojonanami · 2 days
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SAAAAAB TAKE ALL.THE TIME U WANT BUT I NEED MY ANSWERS OKAY? heh lol
So which specialty doctors different characters of jujutsu kaisen would be?
Does this make sense? Hope so 😭 like who would be neurosurgeon, dentist, cardiologist etc etc. I feel like you'd research a lot and give it on point <3 love that about u!!! This is just a fun little ask. Don't forget to include ino takuma, mahito <3
I love this question! — okay okay
satoru: ophthalmologist — eye doctor because he’s a six eyes…user lmao. he would treat diseases of the eyes and perform surgery very skillfully. he also would be great with kids and would charm patients easily.
suguru: neurosurgeon — this is below the belt (or should I say through the skull) but I do think neurosurgeon fits suguru well — he has the ability to remain calm under pressure and he is very skilled with his hands (in hand to hand combat ok?)
nanami: pediatrician— hear me out, this man loves kids even if he doesn’t act like it. he would be such a good caretaker and would do it with such love and duty. all the kids would call him dr. nanamin 🥹
choso: hematologist — he would be fascinated by diseases of the blood and would help with running and diagnosing diseases in patients. he would work a lot with kids but he would be willing to see any patient if needed in his hospital / practice
yuta: cardiologist — he is all about love after all 💕 but also I think he would be wonderful at treating maladies of the heart — especially since this is a profession that is very in demand — and you need to be able to work with your patients very well, which I think yuta would be perfect for
yuji: I’m torn for yuji — he would either be a general family doctor or a palliative care physician. family doctor because he’s just a caring boy who wants to help people stay healthy so I really could see him building strong relationships with his patients as he saw them day in and day out. but I could also see him working as a palliative care doctor, helping patients live their last days in peace and making sure they are comfortable — especially after he saw his grandfather pass like that 🥹
megumi: veterinarian (it counts ok, they have to do a lot of medical studies) — he would be so good with the pets, none of his patients’ families could deny that even if he was a little standoffish (more like a little awkward), his expression always softened when it came to their pets and any person who was worried about their pet and their health 🥹
nobara: dermatologist— she is concerned with skincare and honestly it is something people struggle with and it affects every day life in important ways. she wants to make people feel as beautiful as she does — even without gojo’s blessed genes 😭
maki: emergency medicine — I just see maki as someone who thrives off a busy schedule instead of standing around bored. and she wouldn’t want to spend a ton of time with her patients so this would be s good way for her to help without spending too long with the same patients.
sukuna: let’s be real he’s the reason people are going to the hospital
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laylajeffany · 3 days
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Not an ask, but, I'm currently about 2/3 of the way through Chaos for the Fly, and it is truly one of the greatest things I've ever read. It has made me laugh, cry, and every emotion in between. I have spent the whole time learning alongside Wednesday to love and care for myself. You've expressed out loud feelings of my autism and anxiety that I never could before, I've never read panic attacks more accurately written, and simultaneously you've taught me how to begin coping with them. The way you so vividly separate the voices of different characters, the way you describe every emotion so perfectly that leaves me feeling like I'm right there in the moment. The depth that you add to all the canon characters without taking away from their original personalities, the way all of your OC's fit so perfectly into the story, every single one of them mattering, not a single line, character or scene is unnecessary. I long for family like Josie and Emi, but in a way, just reading about them makes me feel they're talking to and teaching ME. Somehow on top of all that you wrote one of the most beautiful and realistic slow burn romances, It never feels rushed, no intimate touch or comment feels out of place, and yet you're constantly hoping for more. Then, once they are finally together they continue to have a beautiful and ever evolving dynamic, which is where a lot of other authors fall short in my eyes. The way you show Wednesday's comfort level with every character not just Enid, combines with her autism and uniquely affects each individual dynamic shows such and intimate level of understanding, it's so incredibly impressive. I think you may have ruined season 2 for me when it does eventually come out, simply because even with Jenna Ortega as a producer, it could never be as good as what you've written. and so I thank you. Thank you for writing this beautiful, spiritual, mental, and emotional journey. I hope for nothing more than that you keep continuing this story beyond chaos for the fly because I don't think I'll ever be ready for your writing to be over.
Thank you so much for this!! Slow-burn on a realistic timeline, organic character development and a meaningful portrayal of emotional struggle in a hyper-fantastic setting are my passion. I’m glad it’s resonated with you! Writing OCs is always a gamble but people really seemed to resonate Josie and Emiliana for certain (as well as others but I hear about them the most). I’ve ruined S2 for myself, truthfully and if Gwendoline Christie really isn’t in it, I’m not sure if T. Martel and I will even be watching lmfao. (This entire fic started in a parking lot at the mall when she was lamenting about needing Larissa Weems to live and I mumbled, “I guess I could write something.” HAHAHAHAHAHA.)
The good news is that I’m still playing around in this universe, I’m almost 50k into chapter one of the sequel and I think that it might actually end up being longer than I anticipated originally (just like the other fic I’m working on goddamn it I did try to make new year’s resolutions about this but it seems like I’m breaking them). I don’t think anyone is going to be mad about it! 
Thanks for reading and for letting me know how it’s impacted you! Happy to have helped in some small way. 
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canirove · 5 hours
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In The Name of Love | Chapter 34
Previous chapter | Epilogue (coming out on Monday)
Masterlist
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I've been back in Barcelona for a couple of months now, and so far everything has been great.  
I took my mum to Rome, where we stayed for a week doing all the touristy things you could think of, eating our weight in gelato, and having long conversations that have made us understand each other a lot better, finally managing to have a good relationship. 
I also went with Marina and David to Mykonos, a place they both had always dreamt to visit. Though it wasn't as dreamy as they thought. After a couple of days struggling to find somewhere that wasn't too crowded or full of tourists, we decided to just stay at our villa. During the day we would lay in the sun, take advantage of our private swimming pool or just sleep and relax, and at night we would sit outside drinking some wine, talking and laughing about anything and everything. We realized that we didn't need to go to a fancy place to have fun. Being together was all that mattered.
And now I am back home, getting everything ready for the new school year, feeling as excited about it as I did the first time I got to properly teach.
"Do you remember how we spent the day before looking through both your wardrobe and mine trying to find the perfect outfit for your first day as a teacher?" Silvia asks me while we are chilling on the sofa.
"I remember that the house was a mess afterwards."
"Yeah, that too" she laughs. "But you looked really cute."
"I did, didn't I? I got many compliments from the other teachers. One of them even tried to flirt with me."
"I mean, it was a really nice dress. Do you still have it?"
"I gave it away when we did that big spring cleaning a couple of years ago."
"Oh, shame… But have you kept any photo where you are wearing it?"
"Of course I have. You made me take a bunch before I left for work so I could remember that day" I laugh.
"I was a proud mum" Silvia smiles. "Can you search for them?"
"Just promise not to make fun of me if I look ridiculous" I say, unlocking my phone. "It was a different time."
"You didn't look ridi… Val. Val, hey, what is it?" 
"Nothing."
"Then why are you crying? That bad are those photos?"
"No, it's just… I hadn't realized… today."
"Uh?" Silvia says with a confused look.
"Today is my anniversary with Pedri… or was. And the memories thing on my phone showed me a photo of us together and…"
"Aww, Val. I'm sorry."
"It's ok" I say, wiping away my tears. "It's a good memory."
"Can I see it? The photo with him, I mean."
"Sure" I reply, giving her my phone. "It's at his secret beach as he called it, the one where he took me when we started seeing each other. The 14 of each month we would try to go there to watch the sunset and eat something, and we would spend our time talking about the most random things until it got dark and too cold. It was just us, and it was… perfect."
"It does sound perfect" she smiles.
"Today it is so hot that we would have probably gone for a swim and then buy some ice cream."
"What if… what if we do that?"
"What?" I ask.
"Go for a swim and buy some ice cream. I know I am not him, but…"
"I would love that" I smile. 
"Great" Silvia says, getting up from the sofa and offering me her hand. "Shall we?"
"Let's go."
━━━━━━❃━━━━━━
"You don't have to do it, Val."
"I know. But I want to" I say, opening the car's door. After going for a swim and getting some ice cream with Silvia, I asked her to drive me to the beach Pedri and I used to go to. For some reason, I felt like I needed to be there today. 
"Do you want me to go with you?" she asks.
"Please" I nod.
We walk in silence, Silvia holding my hand and giving it little squeezes as we get closer to the lookout from where you can see the whole beach. 
"This is beautiful, Val" she says.
"It is" I whisper, taking in the view. There are a couple of fluffy clouds here and there, the sea is calm, and the light is making the sand look almost golden. The sand. There is someone walking on the sand, someone… It can't be. 
"Ouch, Val! That hurts!" Silvia says when I squeeze her hand as if my life depended on it.
"It's him."
"What?"
"Down there" I say, my eyes fixed on the beach. "That's him. He's here."
"Who… Oh, shit. That is him."
"What do I do, Silvia?" 
"Go down there, of course!"
"What? No! I can't… I can't do that."
"You can and you will, Val. Go tell Pedri that you still love him and that you want to spend the rest of your life with him." 
"But what if he doesn't want to see me? What if he has moved on?" I say, looking at him while he kicks the sand.
"Val, do you really think that if he had moved on, he would be here on a day like today?"
"I…"
"Besides, what has Ferran been telling you all these months?"
"That he still loves me."
"Exactly. So go down there and get back with your teenage boy."
"He isn't a teenager anymore" I chuckle.
"Even better."
"But Silvia…"
"You were waiting for destiny to give you a sign, right? Well, this is it. Now go" she says, pushing me towards the stairs.
━━━━━━❃━━━━━━
"Ok, Valeria. You can do this" I say to myself. He is standing with his back to me and looking at the sea, completely oblivious of the fact that I am behind him, that I also am here. "Pedri?" I call, my voice sounding all squeaky. But he doesn't say anything, just shakes his head. "Pedri" I say again, this time a bit louder.
"Yeah, I've completely lost it" he laughs, running a hand through his hair. 
"Lost what?" I ask.
"My sanity, Val. I can hear your voice as if you were here with me."
"I am here, Pedri."
"You are in my head."
"I'm here" I repeat, putting my hand on his shoulder, my touch making him flinch.
"That's an illusion. I've completely lost my mind, you aren't real."
"I am real and I am here" I say, now moving to be in front of him. "Open your eyes, Pedri."
"No."
"What?"
"If I open my eyes you will leave."
"I'm not going anywhere, Pedri" I say, caressing his cheek and wiping away a tear.  
"I can't lose you again, Val" he says, resting his hand on top of mine. 
"You won't, because I am not going anywhere. Please open your eyes."
"I can't."
"Pedri, please" I beg him. Now I am the one who is crying. 
"Val…"
"I'm not going anywhere, Pedri. I promise. I want to be with you, to spend the rest of my life with you, to fight for this, for us. And I don't care if I have to do it against a horde of crazy teenagers, bullies like Isabel, or judgy parents who have nothing better to do than gossip. I'm done with letting people's opinions rule my life." 
"Val…" he repeats, his voice now almost a whisper.
"You know, I've never believed in love at first sight" I continue. "I always thought it was something from fairy tales, something that didn't exist. But then, on a day like today, in a club I had never set foot before, I met you and you completely changed my mind. Because I fell in love the moment we locked eyes and you smiled at me, Pedri. It was all that smile, to be honest. The one that by now you know makes me giggle like an idiot and feel funny things in my stomach. And when I think of the way you made me feel when you kissed me, when you…"
"Made you scream my name on the rooftop?" he smirks, opening one eye.
"I was going to say it in a more cheesy way and you just ruined it."
"Damn it" he chuckles. "You saying something like that happens once in a blue moon."
"It does. And when it happens, it is because of you. Because I love you, Pedri. I love you in a way I've never loved anyone before, and in a way I think I will never love anyone else. It's you. It's you, Pedri" I say, both my hands cupping his face, my eyes fixed on his now that both of them are finally open. "It is and will always be you. Only you" I whisper. 
"Can we kiss now or are you gonna keep being cheesy?" he smiles. And it is that smile, the one that completely disarmed me the night we met. 
"Idiot.”
"No one calls me idiot the way you do."
"I know" I smile back.
"But before we kiss…" he says. "Can I confess something?” 
"Ok."
"Ferran has been telling me almost daily to not give up, to be patient, that you still loved me and wanted me back, that we are destined to be together… So to keep reminding myself of all that, I've been coming here every 14 since you left, hoping that somehow you would show up."
"Really?"
"Yeah… I know it was a bit stupid because I knew you were in Manchester, but… I don't know. I just felt like I had to, you know?"
"It isn't stupid, Pedri. Because today I felt like I had to come here, it was like something was calling me… You."
"Glad to know my plan worked out" he laughs. "Why are you smiling like that?"
"I had missed your laugh" I shrug. "But that won't happen ever again. And do you know why?"
"Enlighten me, Valeria" he says with a teasing smile.
"It won't happen again because I'm not going anywhere, Pedri. I promise."
"Are you sure? Because you know how serious our promises are. You can't go back on it now" he says.
"I won't. I'm here to stay" I say, putting my hand over his heart. "Forever."
"Forever" he whispers before finally kissing me. 
At first it is a very soft kiss, almost shy. But it doesn't take us too long until we are kissing as if our lives depended on it, as if we needed the other to breathe. 
"I love you, Val" Pedri says when we manage to break apart. "I love you and I'm planning on telling you every hour of every day of the rest of my life."
"Isn't that a bit too much?" I laugh.
"It actually won't be enough."
"Dear lord, Pedro. You are so cheesy" I laugh again.
"Only for you, Val. Only for the love of my life" he smiles. "Happy anniversary, by the way."
"Happy anniversary" I reply with a matching smile before we start kissing again, the sun setting behind us as it did that first time on this beach. Like it did that first night at his house when he made me feel things I had never felt before. 
The night that even if my brain kept denying it, my heart was already completely his.
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