#We're going to destroy the mona lisa

[wherestoriescomefrom]

rian johnson took all that time, put in all that effort to make glass onion a fantastic period piece to the first four months of pandemic, a prescient narrative that anticipates the stupidity of rich billionaires, and then pulled the rug from under us because the world of benoit blanc just straight up doesn't have the mona lisa anymore

[straightfromthetorturedpoetsdept]

I think y'all are missing the point of the ending.

Miles Bron is an idiot, which means that nothing he thinks is the truth. This includes the idea that the napkin was the only thing preventing him from going to jail.

First of all, it's copaganda to claim that circumstantial evidence is somehow "weaker" than physical evidence. This misunderstands how evidence is collected in a court of law against somebody. After all, DNA alone does not prove a crime. You need circumstantial evidence, like the fact that he stole Duke's gun and phone, he killed Duke with pineapple juice after handing him his own glass, he tried to shoot Helen who has a journal of her sister's thoughts and beliefs and memories, including the backstory of the napkin and shows that Duke's gun was fired after his death.

Helen doesn't blow up the glass onion for any other reason than to disrupt the system around Bron that was shielding him from consequences. Blowing up the glass onion was a metaphor for blowing up the relationship between the shitheads and Miles. Furthermore, in the first half of the film, Claire literally says "why would you hang a poster of the Mona Lisa in your living room" and Bron is the one who informs them that it's the real thing.

The fact that they believe him immediately was the lynchpin Helen needed to pull so that they would tell the truth when the police came, but it doesn't matter what they said really because Bron's fingerprints were on the gun and the glass. His building was blown up and a burnt napkin would leave behind ashes, so there is physical evidence that supports the eyewitness testimony.

But blowing up the glass onion was a metaphor for how Helen needed to make sure the shitheads would not be loyal to Bron, that's why she is shown in the middle of the explosion to be looking at the Mona Lisa in growing understanding because she thinks of it in that moment, because it represents the lies Bron told the shitheads to coerce their loyalty to him, even when it hurts them in the end.

Even when he was hurting them, they still supported him because his wealth and his reputation of a genius made them scared of him. He explained to them in great detail in the beginning of the film how he manipulated them into thinking he's a genius and they never clock it because they're blinded by his wealth. To them, his wealth is his genius. They believe he's rich because he's smart enough to be rich, and they don't realize how he literally just exploits them into doing what he wants them to, in order to implicate them in his stupid plans.

They also like feeling smart by association, like this super rich guy genius is our friend and we all know smart people like to hang around other smart people. But the point of the film is that rich people aren't smart because they've figured out how to exploit others into giving them their wealth. Rich people are like magicians, telling us "I got here because I deserve it, I'm smart and a genius and I created this ALL BY MYSELF" and we believe them because it means that there is hope for us too.

If we could just figure out how to be smart like Bron, we too can be rich and successful and if we're not it's because we're too stupid to get there. But the film is making a point to have you examine what rich people tell you about themselves and what they tell you about the world around you. That's how rich people exploit you, they tell you they're more powerful than you are. They have all the money in the world to destroy you and they could do it too, because haven't you heard? They're a billionaire and we all know that means they've earned their wealth. They're smart enough to earn their wealth. and we're not.

But the point of burning a fake mona lisa is expose how flawed this mentality of the shitheads' are. The point of the film is not only to expose Bron as an idiot, but to expose the rest of us as idiots for believing anything he tells himself, his friends, the world, or us the viewer. You're not supposed to look at that final scene and think "he's right. Guys like him get away with everything." You're supposed to think: the napkin is not the only piece of physical evidence, YOU FUCKING MORON.

It is very subtle but if you really examine that scene, it doesn't make sense that Blanc would believe Bron's declaration that the napkin is the only piece of evidence they have- because well, the gun and the journal and the fucking recording of Birdie. He is telling her that she needs to disrupt Bron's system of support- the shitheads- because that is how he stays in power.

You're supposed to recognize that the real reason Bron isn't held accountable is not because there is no evidence against him. It's because his support system around him lies and hides the evidence/truth for him because of their belief that "this is just how the world works. nobody would believe me against the richest man alive." It's a look at how we all fail to hold powerful people accountable because we've bought into this lie that their wealth says something about their merit and morality as a person.

Rich people only get away with what the majority allows them to get away with and THAT is the true moral of the story in my opinion. The point is not that Helen needed to disrupt the legal system, it's that she needed to disrupt the interpersonal support system that Bron created with these people, who are representations/metaphors for different communities in our society, that allows him to escape accountability.

In other words, it's not that circumstantial evidence is weaker than physical evidence that the film is making a point out of. It's that circumstantial evidence is AS IMPORTANT IF NOT MORE than physical evidence because if you just have physical evidence, you can give an eyewitness testimony that can explain that evidence away. Especially if you're the only person with knowledge on something, but when you manipulate others to validate your insane version of events- they become more believable.

It's an examination at how wealth causes people to change their stories of the truth and how that is exploited by assholes in power to escape accountability, even when their backs are against the wall. Because the shitheads believe the napkin is the only piece of evidence against them, they are willing to lie once it's gone. BUT once they realize that lying for Bron would cause them to be known as the friends of the guy who blew up the mona lisa because he wanted to prove he could defy the laws of the universe and that's why they decide to tell the truth in the end.

The physical evidence needs to be supported by eyewitness testimony and the ending makes fun of the idea that "circumstantial evidence" is weak in real life. it's not, not if there is physical evidence. But if Bron convinced 5 people to lie and say his insane version of events is true, people are more likely to believe that than 2 people (1 gay man and 1 black woman) saying no actually this is how this thing actually happened.

Like, people will believe anything someone they think is a genius tells them (i.e. drink bleach to cure covid from ur favorite 4d chess playing moron). I've gone on for so long but do you guys understand what i'm getting at here?

[sharkguy-97]

Oh btw lil story i did with my ocs lol

A date over the alps

Back in 1999, Dan and Abba were going around in their Panda when Dan asked the driver: "dude... you know you look so cute when you're driving..?"

The driver responds with: "That is so sweet of you, but i can't elaborate because i'm trying not to crash here". It was 1 am.

How did they get there?

It started the day before that. It was 7 am. The two were with Giulia and Gio having breakfast, when dan proposed to cross the country border and kill some time in France.

Gio and Giulia said no, because they had something else in mind for the day. Abba said yes because, well... He likes driving. Also he wanted to see France and taste an authentic crepe.

So the two boys hopped on the Pandino at 10 and went west.

"So, have you ever been in Monte Carlo?" Asked Dan.

"First time. It may seem weird, but i've never been there. There's a distant cousin of mine there, but he's the one that usually comes down for Christmas."

"Oh, does he know some french?"

"Maybe."

About 20 minutes later, dan said that he missed Paris.

"You miss what?" asked Abba surprised.

"Paris. I've been there once and i just miss going out in the street and see the "iron asparagus" pop up among the other buildings. I also miss the french."

Abba gave his boyfriend a concerned stare. "Dan are you good?"

"Yes, yes. I'm weird i know.

But still, i just miss the weird "r" and the u's that have like ten different characters after them that get ignored when pronounced"

"I guess weird al wasn't as weird as you."

"Thanks, Abba."

They laughed a bit.

"You know what i just realized? We still haven't changed our money"

"Aaaah don't you worry, Abba. We have powers!"

"You're right."

Silence.

After some time, they get to the border. They bribe the guards and wave them goodbye. They find themselves in Monte Carlo. They could go spit on some Lamborghinis or go buy something to eat. So they did both.

They went in a bar after the spitting and tire destroying session. Abba finally saw why Dan missed France. Dan's french was so fluid that the author's gender in comparison would look solid as cement.

He got one pepsi while his boyfriend got a lemon soda.

"Did you live in france?" Abba asked him, stunned.

"For uuuh... Three months..?"

"THREE MONTHS??? AND YOU SPEAK FRENCH THIS GOOD???"

"Yes, i had the full immersion. i also studied french in middle school."

"Oh."

And they spent one hour in there, casually chatting.

"How about we go in Paris?" Proposed Abba.

"We're not using the Panda, are we?"

"No, no. We'll use our magic universe bending powers."

So he just snapped his fingers and they found themselves in front of the Eiffel tower.

Dan was completly stunned, petrified. It was standing there, in all of its rusty glory.

"Why the fuck are there scaffoldings all over the asparagus?" Asked Dan, confused.

"Oh! I heard they're putting a gigant display for the new millenium's arrival!"

"Why are they doing it in august?"

"I guess that screen is as big as the next millenium."

"Plausible."

The two started walking around, they saw the Louvre (goddammit they forgot the mona Lisa), the champs d'eliseé (idk how to spell that), the metro signs and hopped in the Moulin rouge.

Much, much later, they were walking along the seine, watching the Eiffel tower shining and glimmering in all of its golden glory and the various lights reflected on the waters.

"Say, Abba. Don't you find this romantic?" Asked Dan.

"Yes..." Replied Abba.

"Dude you good?" Asked Dan, worried.

"Yes, yes... I'm just thinking...

I've been with you for a somehow short time now, and this is the most romantic thing anyone can ever do... why did you do this this early?"

"Well... Let me tell ya, Abba. 24 years from now, we might be sitting in a house, maybe in Pavia or somewhere else and you'll be thinking about this moment, this place, these very footsteps we took... a smile will appear on your face..."

They stopped, gazing at the golden tower.

"...and each time you'll see a picture of this landscape, you'll immediately think of this love we had."

"This is... So poetic..." Said Abba.

"Now, shall we kiss..?" Asked Dan.

Abba quickly turned his head to him. The two were looking into eachother's eyes, still seeing the lights all around them, and they slowly got closer... Closer... Closer... And their lips finally touched. A warm feeling captured the two boys, as they were feeling their touch and their smell, completly isolating them from the enviroment.

That moment... Was so long, yet short...

They slowly opened their eyes...

Then Abba hugged him thightly.

"I've never been this glad to have met anyone in my life before. Thank you so so much for being with me!" Said Abba, with a big smile on his face.

"You're so precious... I will protect you with every cell of my body." Said Dan, patting Abba's head.

So, the two spent part of the night there, walking hand in hand along the the river, until Midnight came.

Then Dan used his mighty powers to get them both back to Monaco and hop on the Panda.

And that leads us here.

What next..?

Oh, they Simply got home, shared some moments together and kissed eachother goodnight. Even if they slept in the same bed.

[pansexualkiba]

"Midoriya!" Kaminari exclaimed, rushing around the corner and pulling Midoriya away from the Mona Lisa, "Thank god we found you." He panted, then implored, "We need your help."

"Jesus Christ, are you serious?! Again?!" Midoriya exclaimed, "Are we really doing this again?!"

"Doing what?" Bakugou asked, "We haven't even said what this is about."

Midoriya smacked his lips. "Okay, let me guess. You are here because you need me to be a member of some sort of squad that you have formed for some random competition in which you are going up against another group of teens who are remarkably similar to you in both number and personality," Midoriya took a deep breath, "And in which my robotic arm will play some sort of pivotal role in our victory, yes?" He summarized the past year or so at U.A. High.

Kaminari and Bakugou exchanged looks, and Kaminari squeaked out, "Nnno… That's, not what we were gonna ask."

"Well then, by all means, Denki, what is it you needed my help with?"

Kaminari hesitated, then slowly said, as if embarrassed, "We need you to… Join our modeling team for the L'Oreal International Junior Modeling Tournament so that we can beat the French squad that have vowed to destroy us."

"For the love of God, Kaminari!" Midoriya groaned, "You realize we do this every few months, right?! I mean, get a new fucking gimmick, dude!"

"Oh, whatever the fuck, Midoriya!" Kaminari screamed, "Do we need to sit here and argue for the next eight minutes, or can we just agree that you're gonna join the squad for some perverse food request and/or random pooping privilege?"

Midoriya thought it over. "Yeah, yeah, we can work the details out later." He agreed, calmly walking over to join Kaminari. "I'm in."

"Great." Kaminari nodded as Bakugou left to approach the Mona Lisa.

"You know me." Midoriya smiled.

Bakugou approached Aoyama, who was admiring the Mona Lisa. "Hey, Aoyama~"

"Hello, Katsuki." Aoyama said, surprised to see his self-proclaimed best friend at the Louvre.

"Sooooo, have you gone to visit your parents yet?" Bakugou asked conversatorily, "I'd love to meet them! In fact, I'd love to see where you were born." Bakugou stepped forwards a little. "While we're at it, you have your passport on you? I'd love to see it."

"I am sorry, Katsuki," Aoyama apologized, "I left my passport at the, how do you say, hotel."

"Oh." Katsuki nodded. "How fucking convenient, Aoyama."

"Er, Katsuki?" Aoyama spoke up, wheeling out his baby from the crowd, "I'm actually trying not to curse in front of baby Katsuki, so if you could not, uhhhh-"

"Oh, I completely understand!" Bakugou exclaimed, "What words are you trying to avoid? Is it things like hell, damn, fuck, shit, bitch, cunt, ass, cock, dick, cockface, dickface, dickhead, dickwad, cocksmoker, cocksucker?"

Bakugou put a hand to his chin in thought. "What about words like tits, pussy, twat, snatch, clitface, cuntface, thundercunt, dipshit, douchebag, dumbass, dumbfuck, or dipshit?"

"I'm sure you're trying to avoid words like-" Bakugou leaned down to speak directly into baby Katsuki's face. "Bullshit, bastard, bitchtits, buttfucker, asshole, ass-hat, assclown, asswipe," Bakugou stood up straight again, "Jackass, shithead, shitface, and whore, right?"

"Are we counting words like piss, cum, cum-dumpster, and cum-guzzler?" Bakugou asked casually, attracting the attention of a pair of tourists.

"Uh-"

"Oh, goddamnit!" Bakugou fake-gasped, "I almost forgot fucker, fuckface, fuckstick, fuckwad, fuckboy, clusterfuck, and of course, motherfucker." Bakugou smiled like a feral chimpanzee as the tourists rushed away, scandalized. "Are these all the kind of words you're avoiding, Aoyama Yuuga?"

Aoyama slowly unfroze. "Uh, yes, I guess any of those, we are, uh, trying to stay away from."

"Okay, well, good luck with that," Bakugou shrugged before walking off to rejoin Kaminari and Midoriya.