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canigetuuu · 2 years

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that skater au gave me brain worms so. just. take whatever this is. I'm so tired.

John

started figure skating young

his dad was a genial and well respected business manager at a rink in Washington sponsored by the prestigious Skaianet Systems Inc, which brought major players like the vaulted Roxanne Lalonde to Olympic gold stardom

he's just a decent man though, trying to support his family

he brought John to the rinks sometimes and taught him to skate just for fun

however, John soon started showing a prodigious talent for it, and Dad Egbert was so so proud of him for it

John liked skating well enough at the time, and was kind of hoping that maybe if he took up skating his dad would axe the whole harlequin thing

(which he did)

(mostly)

at sixteen, after winning a few pretty impressive medals in the junior category, John was ready to call it quits and retire the professional skates

Tragically, however, it was around this time that James "Dad" Egbert, who had always been so supportive of John's skating, died very suddenly.

John grieves in a very particular way. He often gets (home)stuck in a version of denial which often looks like radical acceptance.

He is in fact actually very fucked up right now.

Vriska Serket, a young and notorious athlete turned coach who John had been working with for the last year or so at that time, pulls a Vriska, and hamfists John back into skating.

With her guidance, John becomes one of THE top US figure skaters, and at age 21 is ready for his second foray into the Olympic scene.

The winter Olympics are in less than a year, and John has taken up training in Vancouver...

Dirk

took up street hockey as a teen in his home town of Houston, Texas with his kid brother Dave, who said it was the height of irony to play a winter sport in the hottest place this side of satans tight asshole

Dave never liked it as much as Dirk did though

probably because Dave liked not fainting from heat stroke

I know, Dave is so weird

It got them out of that apartment though.

... (<- Bro silence being very loud)

Anyway

At 16, Dirk got scouted by a pale man in a suit working for a company called Abraxas, which he said was looking for young athletes to sponsor. <- very believable

That's very rude. I never lie.

And please, call me Doc Scratch.

Is it normal for traveling salesmen to have doctorates?

Oh it's not a title, though I imagine it would be very easy for me to acquire one. Haa haa, hee hee.

...

Things got very messy and horrible very quickly.

Events culminated in an extremely high profile law suit, where Dirk and many other athletes were represented by the Pyrope Firm to take down Abraxas, Doc Scratch, and his boss Lord English (H3'S SO PR3T3NTIOUS, UGH) and to free them all from their horrifying contracts

Pyrope won.

For now.

At age 18, Dirk had a scandal behind him, a kid brother to take care of beside him (the Bro silence got quieter), and a veritable mountain of legal reparations ($$$) to get him into any college he wanted.

...

dude, just go to the hockey school

I could support you better with a law degree.

After Dave had to go to the hospital due to the force of his laughing fit giving him a hernia, Dirk decided to go to the hockey school.

He joins the team there, and does well enough to get into the Big Leagues once he graduates with a combob philosophy/comp sci degree.

the Big Man. he is you

Dave, despite having a literal athlete brother, still has no idea how sports work.

And neither do I, so just assume that Dirk does really well and gets on a good team and is very normal about everything.

He is especially normal when, at age 24, he has to move to Vancouver, Canada since he got swapped to a different team and Dave doesn't come with him.

DUN DUN DUUUUUUUn

Bonus notes

Rose is John's friend who is also a figure skater. She's got a very turbulent relationship with her mother, former Olympic skater Roxanne Lalonde, which drags down her genuine love for skating with the weight of legacy.

John and Dave are internet friends who don't know each other's last names, and while John knows a lot about Dave's life, he keeps his own private.

Dirk started playing hockey not for the ironies like Dave thought but because his online friend Jake said he thought hockey players were cool, and Dirk had a crush on him.

Dirk and Jade went to the same college (she was home schooled and started college early) and took a robotics class together for two semesters. They're still friends to this day, though Jade actually is an engineer now.

Guess where she's interning.

(Psst, it's Skaianet)

Vriska stopped being a skater after a string of incidents involving two other former skaters and a lawyer, which resulted in her being banned from ever competing again. One is now in a wheelchair and the other quit the ice skating thing completely. Ghosted it, if you will. wonk.

Aradia is a roller derby skater, and she is incredibly hot. She might show up in the hypothetical actual fic i write for this au. Because I love her.

Me being me i'll probably find a way to include everybody else in this au, but for now, that's all. Ta.

#tear babbles #skater au #dirkjohn

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pesterloglog · 7 months

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Vrissy Maryam-Lalonde, Vriska Serket, John Egbert, Harry Anderson Egbert

Page 328

VRISSY: Um...Hey, Vriska?

VRISSY: Are you okay??

VRISSY: Just you’ve Been Kind of quiet.

VRISKA: Oh????????

VRISKA: So you actually want to know what I’m thinking now? You want my opinion?

VRISSY: Um...Yes?

VRISSY: I'm not Really Sure what’s going on right Now.

VRISKA: What?

VRISSY: I just was wondering why you’re so pissed off at me.

VRISKA: What the fuck are you talking about?

VRISKA: I’m not pissed at you, you haven’t done shit 8asically at all since i’ve been here.

VRISKA: I just can’t 8elieve I’m 8ack stuck in this tacky rumpusblock after all of that!

VRISKA: I’m going to look like an idiot if I don’t get out there.

VRISSY: I don’t Think any8ody is going to notice?

VRISSY: I guess you Did go Viral, 8ut the news moves so fast these days. I don’t think Any8ody is like...

VRISSY: Glued to their phones Waiting for your New Hashtag Resistance content.

VRISSY: We could do Something if You Wanted.

VRISKA: Huh?

VRISSY: If you’re 8ored.

VRISSY: This isn’t my House, but Harry has video games and Movies and shit.

VRISSY: Actually, we’re pro8a8ly 8etter off not watching his movies.

VRISSY: His taste is Worse than His Dad’s.

VRISKA: AGGGHHH!!!!!!!!

VRISKA: No, I don’t want to watch a fucking movie! How the fuck can you think a8out movies?????????

VRISKA: How are you okay with any of this?

VRISSY: Any of What?

VRISKA: 8eing left at home like a couple of dri88ling of wigglers!

VRISKA: I can’t 8elieve you just stayed 8ehind?!??

VRISSY: Well...they told me to. And they’re my Moms.

VRISKA: And you just listen to everything they say?

VRISSY: No, not Really. I used to Sneak out a Lot, and they’d a8solutely Flip their Shit if they ever got into my Search History.

VRISSY: 8ut I guess this Situation is Kind of Serious?

VRISSY: There’s a whole Plan and Stuff Like that.

VRISKA: Clearly not a good plan, 8ecause then I would 8e part of it!

VRISKA: What’s the point of me even coming to this shitty fake reality if I’m not supposed to fix it?

VRISSY: I think they’ve Got A Strategy, or Whatever.

VRISKA: That’s just even more indication that they don’t know what they’re doing! Lalonde and Maryam have had however many sweeps to get older and stupider, 8ut from where I’m standing, it was literally only a few days ago that I was their commander! I am primed for the 8attlefield!

VRISKA: I ran their shit!

VRISSY: Wait, really? they never told me That.

VRISKA: I thought you said you knew some lore. You know about Tavros and Terezi, you told me you do!

VRISSY: Yeah, they told me about That stuff, but a Lot of the Shit that Happened in the Session if just not in the History Books.

VRISSY: You weren’t Really mentioned that Much.

VRISKA: Excuse me?

VRISSY: People know who you Are, 'cause we had to Memorize the names of Every one of the Players, Even the ones who didn’t last very Long.

VRISKA: You’re trying to tell me that there’s a whole recorded history of SGRUB, and I’m not in it?

VRISSY: You’re not not in it.

VRISSY: I guess they Mostly Focused on the Creators who Ascended, you know?

VRISKA: Whoever was schoolfeeding you was a complete 8ulgesucker, because I “ascended” 8efore any of the humans did!!

VRISKA: Literally 8illions of years 8efore, since our session was the one that created theirs!!!!!!!!

VRISKA: I was the 8ne who 8uided John’s 8uffoonish 8lue ass all the way through his first 8ew days in the Medium!

VRISKA: I m8de all the plans to take down the J8cks!

VRISKA: I SINGLE H8ND8DLY!

VRISKA: CURED YOUR MOTHER’S FUCKING ALCH8LISM!!!!!!!!

JOHN: uh, vriska, everything okay over there?

VRISKA: EVERYTHING’S FINE, J8HN!

JOHN: okay.

JOHN: do you girls want a snack?

VRISKA: AAAAGGH!

VRISSY: Yeah, actually a Snack sounds Great, Mr. Eg8ert.

JOHN: i’m not sure what we’ve got, i uh.

JOHN: don’t actually live here haha.

HARRY: vriska, eat whatever.

HARRY: just not the zebra cakes, those are mine.

#homestuck #homestuck^2 #vrissy maryam lalonde #vriska serket #john egbert #harry anderson egbert #homestuck^2 act 1 #page 328

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stuck-in-the-ghost-zone · 10 months

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walks into ur inbox and sets up a big conspiracy board. hi mac :3 do u wanna hear about the hs epilogues and hs2??? well i'm gonna learn u a thing about homed stuck post canon!!!! here we fucking go

ok so idk how much of the epilogues u have read, but basically to sum it up: it was made as a way to make the fans of canon hs angry. like that's kinda the whole point. and it worked because honestly!! they are quite terrible!!! and i do like them a lot but there are a lot of things that were done in bad faith with very little care to original canon, such as: raging misogyny in the form of making jane a hashtag girlboss who sexually abused jake, jade who has no concept of sexual boundaries and was literally framed to be the girl who got in between the gay couple, and like. a lot more. so it's. very far from perfect. honestly a lot of the character writing isn't even that good

but something to keep in mind is that while yes, part of the reason a lot of it is written that way is because hussie just wanted to piss people off, there is kind of a canon reason for it??? dirk went kind of off the rails and absorbed the knowledge of all of his splinters and alternate timeline selves (which for a person who hates himself that much!!! not great!!! would drive a guy a little nuts!!!) and he got a little. bro strider-ish. very manipulative and Not Nice. and he also grabbed control over the entire narrative in the meat timeline so!!! he was just messing with people and trying to convince himself he didn't feel bad about it. sad!

and the candy timeline is controlled by alt!calliope who wanted to make the entire timeline nice and perfect and domestic, a war broke out between trolls and humans, shit hit the fan pretty bad, but the narrative only focuses on the romantic and family drama which says sooooooo much about how alt!callie views the world and these characters. she grew up obsessing over them and now can't process that these are real people who are friends with the alpha timeline version of herself and it drives me bonkers and fucking yonkers GIRL YOU ARE MESSING WITH PEOPLE YOU ARE NO DIFFERENT THAN YOUR BROTHER!!!! since ultimate!dirk absorbed the knowledge and memories of lord english through his absorption of arquiussprite he is basically lord fucking english so him and alt!calliope arguing over the timelines is literally just. two siblings who never grew up pulling their toys/friends back and forth and being upset because they can't get their own way IT'S INSANE

also the prose slaps sometimes. meat page 39 is an especially good example, like the way it capture's ult!dirk's character voice is. AAAAAAUGHJGHGH. god. the feelings of that part. the way he's clearly trying so hard not to care..... but he DOES. and you can TELL. honestly it really captures the tragedy of dirkjake so well. also candy page 14 is just. woagh. idk if you read that part but dirk dies in candy and it's just.... holyyyyy shit dude. it's a bit gorey and it is a suicide so maybe not the best part to read if you're in a bad state of mind but GOD. it just. there's something about it that somehow manages to capture dirk so well in a way. like of course his death would be self inflicted while feeling like he's doing something "right." jesus christ. i can give u links to my favourite pages if u wanna read any of em

ummm ANYWAY. hs2 is a continuation of BOTH timelines. john died in the meat timeline (sad) and got incredibly depressed in the candy timeline (also sad) but also he had a son with roxy in candy!!! his name is harry anderson and lemme tell u i love all of the kids in candy. there's harry, there's vrissy (an ecto clone of vriska adopted by rose and kanaya), tavros crocker-english (jane and jake's kid, the most tragic little guy ever tbh) and um. yiffy. yiffany longstocking lalonde-harley who was born when jade wanted a kid. i'm not gonna get into the whole ordeal of yiffy rn it was so balls to the wall insane if i explained everything i would be here all day. but also VRISKA IS THERE 🎉🎉🎉 and she is the highlight of the candy timeline lemme tell u. she's gonna end the troll/human war maybe. or maybe she'll just fuck around. who knows!!! it's vriska!!! i love her silly unpredictable swag :3

the meat timeline is where i go especially crazy because there is soooo much to analyze here in terms of prose and imagery and just. stuff in general. basically dirk and rose blasted off into space to go create a new intelligent species and introduce them to sburb and make their universe "relevant" again because something just feels Off about their current story, and they can't quite tell what it is so they're fixing it any way they can think of. also terezi tagged along because she was there when john died and she still hasn't found vriska and so she is also depressed so hey why not tag along on this death trip to the stars!!! also a bunch of others are trying to chase them down in their own spaceship, including: dave and karkat, jade, callie, and roxy (who is transmasc in the meat timeline!!!) also davekat is canon in the meat timeline and they have some lovely existential discussions about dave's immortality and karkat's mortality

anyway thats all i got for now. i feel insane about these guys and i'm hoping the new writers for hs2 can maybe improve the story a bit AND THEY ALREADY KIND OF HAVE!!! they brought sollux back, they made jake less of a punching bag and more of a character, they have vriska shenanigans, and jane is less of an Evil Girlboss and actually more of a homestuck villain if that makes sense!! AND THE ART STYLE IS BETTER TOO the hs2 style kind of devolved a bit and looked a bit terrible after a while (they might have just had new artists on at the time) but now they've got different artists!! and the guy heading it now worked on some of the original homestuck stuff!! so they're trying to slowly fix some of hussie's bad writing choices and expanding on the cool stuff that was already there!! i love hs2 it is my deeply flawed very fucked up baby :3 sorry this was so long. the demons got me u understand <3

I UNDERSTAND I UNDERSTAND. OMG THANK YOU. i actually did start reading candy/meat when they first came out (<< 17 yr old who was so so so excited for new homestuck content) and ended up. giving up on them REALLY quick. i actually got to the part where dirk died in candy and that was what made me put them down entirely bc i was SO upset . also like u said yes the way jade was characterized was so so so uncomfy for me. so those r like the two main factors that made me totally give up on meat and candy. and i kind of openly was super super mad about the epilogues for a while after that and then i realized. oh no. im a fool. im exactly the kind of person they were written to make angry HHFDBSJS. so i backed down and learned to appreciate them for what they were from a distance <3

i appreciate u SO MUCH for the deep dive bc holy shit. every once in a while i have the internal struggle of "god i miss homestuck. maybe i should go back and read the epilogues" and then i Dont hFBFSJDK . i actually do not know SHIT about hs2 in general !! i know there is. ult dirk who looks like an anime villain and i think thats great for him. aaaaand. the davekat laundry room scene which i have only seen panels for and not dialogue and i love them so much forever. and thats about the extent of my knowledge.

#IM GLAD U ENJOY THEM BC I ALSO LIKE TO KNOW EVERYTHING ALL THE TIME. i am avsorbing your knowledge #i think i would like to go back and read meat and candy again some day and give them another chance #((mainly so i can then read hs2 bc thats what i care about))#but i think i need to be in the correct headspace to do that and it has never really felt like the right time i guess #unfortunately the first time i consumed them i was a super super hyper depressed lonely college freshman #and they kind of scarred me a little hBFHDJSKS #I APPRECIATE THEM NOW THOUGH.#THANKNU THANK U THANK U i love whiskey inbox time #friends!!!#asks #anachronistic-falsehood

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andromerot · 2 years

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home stuck.

ok this one i sort of know pretty well theres this boy called jake (hes in his room) and he has three online friends. rose dave strider and another girl maybe. they go into a magical world somehow and theres these trolls who are like gray skinned people with horns who are all like zodiac signs. theres four types of relationships the trolls can have and theyre being friends being lovers being enemies and another one (theyre each a suit of cards?) so anyway one of the trolls is vriska. girls love her. she kills everyone at some point but she did nothing wrong. i think at some point they all change names like dave is dirk and rose is roxy i dont really know why though. dave is the one with sunglasses and thats what tlt was referencing with gideon's. i think they have to stop some sort of apocalypse i dont really know the plot though

#ask games

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vriskaserketdaily · 2 years

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could you tell us about old lady vrisrezi and their child

i’ve already talked about them pretty extensively here but i was in a Mood today

tldr of that post they grubsit for rose and kanaya once and then they’re stuck for life with a ““daughter”“ or whatever.

having occupied most of their lives with being awesome bikers-slash-vigilantes (among other things), and having no intention whatsoever to have kids (why would they?), suddenly finding themselves with a permanent third wheel forces the scourge sisters into an “early retirement.” neither would admit it, but frankly, it was probably for the best that they got off the road before vriska’s prescription dropped any lower. doesn’t stop her from picking spider up from school on a motorcycle---just because SHE’S retired doesn’t mean her bike is!!

it continually baffles their friends that two women who were so off the shits as kids (and teenagers, and adults, and middle-aged people, and senior citizens) produced such a calm, pleasant, well-adjusted child. Granted, they did mellow out a bit with age, but . . . spider is continually embarrassed that both her dolorosae have a lifetime ban from mcdonalds.

because spider is raised by not one, but TWO authentically bona-fide alternian trolls, she naturally becomes far more of an authority on the subject than most any other earth C troll alive---makes a career out of it, even. vriska is a little put out that spider actually tries to corrobate her tall tales with the other remaining alternian trolls (uncle karkat and aunt kanaya, who rightfully call vriska out on her bullshitting). spider sometimes wishes more alternian trolls were alive, but apparently saying that she wishes could have interviewed an alternian rust or bronzeblood strikes a nerve with vriska, who apparently had some kind of history with those members of the trolls’ team.

spider does eventually have to grapple with the fact that her parents killed people---a lot of people, and people they were very close to. her whole career (as a professor of alternian history and anthropology) is spent making sense of the scars left by the violence of her parents’ home planet---something that, try as she might, she can never fully grasp.

it’s a good thing, really, that spider’s home life is more secure and less violent than her parents’ were, but . . . there were a couple incidences in her childhood where vriska pulled some seriously scary shit to “toughen her up.” terezi also majorly dropped the ball a few times---pobody’s nerfect! but on the whole terezi and vriska are enthusiastic, attentive, and supportive parents.

maybe a little too enthusiastic and supportive. they are also banned from the premises of every school spider has ever attended except university, because they just HAD to cheer her on at debate team, sport game, and talent show with the most . . . explosive means possible.

#vriska serket #homestuck #mod 8 #daily vriska serket #vriska #daily vriska #terezi pyrope #vrisrezi #terezi #terezi x vriska #vriska x terezi #homestuck fankid #fankid #it's after 4am i cant make more words

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thewebcomicsreview · 4 years

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Homestuck 2 has updated! Christmas is ruined!

Previously, on Homestuck 2: Literally nothing happened, and a non-trivial portion of the patreon supporters gave up and quit. Can this update pull a Christmas miracle and right the sinking ship of Homestuck 2? Probably not, but let’s find out!

youtube

We’re back in Candyland, having completely skipped over Karkat and John talking about Dave’s apparent death, because this comic is only interested in long conversations when they’re boring and not about anything at all. That’s alright, I got the gist of it.

When Karkat is finally gone, John still doesn’t move. It isn’t as though he has nowhere else to go, since there are quite a few places he might attempt to make himself useful, for better or for worse.

So, it appears to be morning now, meaning that John’s son has been missing in a war zone for almost 24 hours and I guess John literally forgot Harry existed?

Prediction: This conversation is going to end in some variant of “Where is our son?” “Oh shit!”

ROXY: hey john can u do me a quick solid

ROXY: actly idk how quick itll be but its definitely solid

ROXY: harry anderson says i just missed u being here but could u skip back on over?

What.

So, I went back and checked, and apparently nowhere is it explicitly said that Harry Anderson was also looking for the Vriskas, so I guess he....stayed home? Which makes sense, I suppose, but maybe a “Stay here I’ll go look for them” would’ve helped. I wasn’t the only one who thought Harry was out looking for Vriska too.

ROXY: sup

ROXY: follow me

ROXY: well were just going to my room so i guess technically u know the way

JOHN: haha ok.

John follows, trying to shake the ominous feeling he got from what she’d just said. He’d been in and out of this house a lot in the past few days. Why should this be any different?

Is Roxy....horny? Is the solid she’s looking for John’s dick? I mean, that’d make her saying Harry wasn’t available kind of weird, but I think this framing is a fake-out.

...

What the fuck is that lamp, Jesus Christ it’s awful. Just a cat’s asshole, facing the door.

ROXY: r u kiddin me rn egbert

JOHN: i’m not? unless you were, in which case yeah lets say i was also kidding.

JOHN: oh my god, i’m sorry, i don’t know why this making me freak out.

ROXY: i remember our past boot knockin with fondness but that is a situation im not interested in revisiting

Oh hey, it was a fakeout. Good job, Homestuck 2. You successfully implied something just through the art. Art which, by the way, looks a lot better than the last chapter. There are backgrounds and everything. I wonder if Chapter 15 was rushed out due to Hiveswap and that’s why it was so weak?

He’s almost embarrassed by how relieved he feels. So what if his ex wife wanted to hook up? Shouldn’t that be a situation he could navigate? Don’t people like to find solace in human physical connection during dire times? Why did the idea of it make his mind white out in panic more than, say, any number of the traumas he just experienced?

I’m not the biggest fan of the way the narration is going JOHN IS AFRAID OF SEX WITH ROXY LIKE HE’S A TEENAGE VIRGIN AGAIN (LIKE IN HS1!) AND IT DOESN’T REALLY MAKE SENSE PLEASE REMEMBER THIS IT’LL BE IMPORTANT LATER, but okay, noted.

ROXY: u said ur house is gone??

JOHN: yep.

JOHN: completely.

ROXY: jeez

Heh. I like Roxy, still.

JOHN: so i just sat there, watching, trying to figure out why watching my house burn down felt like i was being released from prison.

If this comic actually uses the phrase “home” and “stuck” in the same sentence I’m turning this blog around and we’ll go right back to Winnipeg.

ROXY: aight then no wind bending just use your mangrit

Roxy flexes, the corner of her mouth pulled up into a familiar grin. John feels his guts, so recently calmed, twist up into knots again. Her eyebrows shoot up and the smile loosens. He must have shown something on his face.

ROXY: ok or just like push when i push

ROXY: we both got sick muscles

ROXY: no other adjectives necessary

I feel unqualified to talk about how hard Roxy is pushing the June Egbert thing.

....Is that the fucking portal from Hiveswap under a tarp? Also hi Candy Callie, appearing in HS2 for the first time. One of the Calliope’s is nonbinary, I think, but I honestly can’t remember and I think it’s Meat Calliope?

JOHN: do i get to know what that big thing under the sheet is?

ROXY: hmmmmmm no

JOHN: oh ok.

JOHN: are you sure? i mean, it seems like a pretty prominent feature of the room.

JOHN: space.

JOHN: wherever we are.

ROXY: and a totally mysterious n COMPLETELY inconspicuous feature it will have to remain for now

ROXY: we r kinda in a hurry here fyi

ROXY: and by that i mean

ROXY: we are in precisely the amount of hurry that means im excused from having to a that specific q rn

JOHN: right, sorry.

JOHN: i will pay no attention to the object behind the curtain.

ROXY: u catch on fast egbert

Oh thing HS2 has not been great at is that it has a lot of plot mysteries that are supposed to keep us enticed but they don’t really get implanted into the audience’s head (Remember Vrissy mysteriously collapsing that one time? Probably not, she did it off screen and the boys kind of laughed it off). This one’s hard to miss.

JOHN: so... this is all downstairs?

JOHN: it seems like you had a lot of work done.

ROXY: well no not x actly

ROXY: were in the old meteor

It’s kind of weird how this meteor keeps popping up like this.

CALLIOPE: besides, hUman divorces are even more fascinating than i had ever imagined, and being able to witness yoUrs in motion was an honoUr.

This is an unexpected but not unwelcome direction for Callie to have gone.

CALLIOPE: ah right, right. yoU're probably a little cUrioUs as to where the dickens we are.

CALLIOPE: how much do yoU know aboUt black holes?

Oh, wow, we’re going right there, then. This does seem like a bit of a reaction to complaints HS2 wasn’t shmoovin’ enough, but maybe I’m reading too much into it.

CALLIOPE: no, i mean, what if oUr whole WORLD was inside a black hole.

JOHN: ok.

A’ight, that got a laugh out of me

JOHN: ugh, i fucking KNEW it!

JOHN: i'm so sorry.

JOHN: i'm so sorry that i put the earth inside a black hole everyone. ):

I like this conversation a lot.

ROXY: iirc at least part of y u got so weepy was the fact that u couldnt believe a version of earth existed where ppl got 2 watch more mcconaughey films than you

JOHN: listen.

JOHN: i simply don't think you all appreciated the gift you were given.

Quite a bit, in fact.

ROXY: ur not gonna enter a weird time vortex and change the trajectory of a little girls life with the power of love

JOHN: aw.

Roxy and John have a good dynamic.

CALLIOPE: bUt Upon her departUre, the rift closed for good. as far as i can see, there's simply no way for Us to commUnicate with the world oUtside the black hole.

CALLIOPE: i woUld certainly be very sUrprised to find oUt that anyone had managed sUch a thing!

JOHN: ...right.

John’s phone has very good coverage, since he was able to talk to Terezi in the epilogues, as we’re being subtly reminded of here with that ... before the “right”. I wonder if it still works after alt-Calliope left.

CALLIOPE: oUr exclUsion from the overarching coUrse of events which governs all reality means that oUr existence here is liable to dramatic and violent Upheaval.

CALLIOPE: to pUt it another way, becaUse nothing in here "matters", we are likely to be sUbjected to things which are a bit bats in the belfry, for no reason other than it's totally insignificant to the wider canon of reality.

CALLIOPE: and mUch thoUgh i am personally titillated by some of the conseqUences of this predicament, it is a degrading way for Us to live. u_u

Okay, so we are now being explicitly told that living in the black hole is fucking with the characters and is part of the reason they make such baffling decisions, like Rose not telling Kanaya about Yiffy, or naming her daughter “Yiffy” in the first place.

CALLIOPE: we need yoU to free vriska from the clUtches of oUr misgUided friend jane, and bring her here, to the singUlarity.

ROXY: weve been calling it the plot point

CALLIOPE: yes, the plot point is a key part of oUr plan

CALLIOPE: as far as we have been able to sUrmise, the only remaining method for escaping oUr grim confinement depends on leveraging the UniqUe properties of this location to create an event of sUch catalcysmic proportions that it simply cannot be contained within the black hole any more.

CALLIOPE: something SO dramatic, so hyper-relevant, that it becomes ontologically impossible for anyone to ignore it.

CALLIOPE: for that, we need an individUal of sUfficient narrative cloUt, so to speak.

CALLIOPE: and to liberate her, who better than the embodiment of the aspect of freedom itself?

So, the plan is literally for Vriska to be such a Huge 8itch that the black hole itself gets sick of her and yeets Earth C out of its own event horizon to freedom.

This is actually a great plan.

And that’s Hamsteak. This definitely feels like a bit of a reaction to complaints about HS2, but hey, I dig it, I guess? Definite improvement over the last chapter.

#homestuck #homestuck 2 liveblog

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incorrect-homestuck-quotes-honk · 3 years

Text

To whoever asked for my au I love you but I tried to answer the ask three times and it didn't work :(.

BUT ANYWAY here it is!!

Dog city au!

Vriska's newly released from prison on charges of attempted murder via almost running aradia with her ex's car while drunk. aradia got out of it unscathed except for a fractured arm, she didn't want to press charges but her mother definitely did. upon vriska's release terezi is now her angry patrol officer. Which is a funny coincidence because they used to be friends in highschool before vriska dropped out. Shes still holding a grudge though since those days were less than pleasant. one wrong move and vriska goes straight back to jail

eridan is a successful news anchor despite not even applying for college. mostly because his father is the head of the news channel. karkat's been trying really hard to get a scholar ship because there's no way he'd afford it otherwise and he couldn't get it for having an average gpa. he'd stuck around his uncle's business establishment for a while but the pay wasn't enough to aid his plans of moving out from his parent's house. that is until eridan managed to get karkat a job as a camera man.

Karkat eventually got promoted to outdoor anchor after the last one broke his leg though awful fucktastic weather. The same awful weather he's going to have to deal with on a daily basis.

sollux couldn't go to college because he was in a psychward for his mental health, his brother's hospitalizion hit him pretty hard.

After he was let go he was advised to get a day job since he's got nothing going on and fuck being alone and having nothing to do. and he got a job as a children's party birthday clown, humiliating yes, but whatever. gamzee's an artist who works at an antique store and works part-time as a kid's facepainter because he loves it and thinks it's fun seeing kids happy and giddy. gam and Sollux both met at an elementary school's Easter party where they were hired and they hung out in the parking lot after it was over, with sollux complaining and Gamzee nodding with cake.

Aradia works with kurloz at funeral home! He's a mortician and she's the funeral director's assistant. They are besties. It's how she met feferi there accidentally when she was grieving to aradia about her aunt's passing under the false assumption that they were good friends when she was alive not knowing that aradia is just the funeral attendant. They got to know each other better over the course of the funeral arrangements and stayed pretty close friends.

Equius had to leave town to take care of his father because of an injury and he missed out on his SATs. They tried to reschedule the date so he can take the finals but shit just kept getting in the way. So he gave up and became a mechanic. Every other mechanic in the area would rip you off like hell so he got really good business because he of his reputation as blunt and honest despite his awkwardness.

Nepeta was vriska's friend back in jail on charges of vandalism and aggravated assault. She worked with equius after her release and she still sometimes bullies vriska in a not-so-friendly way.

Tavros is an elementary school teacher's assistant and gets bullied by tiny children with dave all the time.

Kanaya works at the antique store with gamzee. And she's always a bit pissy because of the blonde goth chic that keeps trying to bargain for miss Rosa's occult books despite her saying multiple times that they aren't for sale. Rose steals the books anyway and kanaya has to hunt her down like a wild animal through the city to get them back.

Jade works in an animal shelter that just so happens to be a front for the local mob. She doesn't care and wouldn't bat an eye as long as the dogs aren't hurt.

John is the most well-adjusted out of everyone and he actually goes to college and works a weekend job like a normal person. It's insane.

As for your other question!

Tavros and Gamzee used to be roommates. It was a small apartment before tavros moved out he decided to put all his yugioh merch in the bathroom because there wasn't anywhere else he could put it.and now that tav is in another apartment he just never came back for the yugioh stuff. Gamzee just has a yugioh bathroom forever now.

Whenever Sollux goes in he just bluescreens for 15 seconds from the sheer absurdity of the yugioh bathroom, he just blanks. It's why GZ thinks it's a good idea to let him go there whenever he's having a bitch fit.

The absolute violent waves of emotion the yugioh bathroom evokes in Sollux is like a factory resest.

It also has incense which is really nice.

#mod spade #not a quote #homestuck au

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tomatograter · 5 years

Note

Do you have a list anywhere of your favorite hs fics?

I suppose it’s appropriate I make one now! will prolly come back to add on at some point, but as it stands

HERE’S THE FIC RECS: (it is quite long, click the readmore)

Last updated Sept 10 2021 !

Perpetuity => https://archiveofourown.org/works/12835047

Written pre-epilogues, largely about mending damaged bridges after the game. I always mention this fic as what settled me back into hs as a fandom and dirk/jake

A Palate Cleanser => https://archiveofourown.org/works/21642637

The jake eulogy we missed on candy. it’s real good. (now with a podfic version on the second chapter!!!!)

It’s only a canvas sky

==> https://archiveofourown.org/works/28718544

Their guardians dead at the hands of the Condesce, growing up in the shadow of her slow takeover of the Skaian Federation, Dirk Strider and Jake English have spent their whole lives alone up until shortly before their twelfth birthdays.

Or: Dirk fixes a transmitter, makes a friend, builds a robot, and tries to communicate affection over distance to the barest possible minimum.

(A good mix of fluff/angst/yearning, captures early & friendship dirkjake REALLY well, a good analogue au to their canon upbringing!!)

Sburgatoria => https://archiveofourown.org/works/20726822/chapters/49242167

What if we were four lesbians stuck in an uncanny valley real housewives purgatory-esque-suburbia and we bickered then kissed 😳

Prologos

https://archiveofourown.org/works/23961157

“Sadstuck for the discerning jakeliker”

Magnesium Ion, Porphyrin Ring => https://archiveofourown.org/works/21787465/chapters/51988876

Jade + Jake exploration throughout their growing up years, the relationship they had to their guardians and to one another between split realities and time.

I Know What You Think Of Me => https://archiveofourown.org/works/21516589

You never knew you wanted vriska and jake to be friends but now…. you do! and they’re going to gut a mountain of salmon to get there. Hilariously masterful vrisrezi to boot.

What Happens In-Between =>

https://archiveofourown.org/works/24240424/chapters/58409713

i KNOW you aren’t done with jaded fisheries observer vriska just yet and for that i’m thankful to say, we have a sequel, and dirk is in it to her great annoyance

Drive it home with one headlight => https://archiveofourown.org/works/19281412/chapters/45856705

The Hitchhikers Guide to Your Ex-Boyfriend ==>

https://archiveofourown.org/works/25747519/chapters/62875855

EXTENSIVELY ILLUSTRATED!!!! Post-canon fanadventure focusing on jake, brain ghost dirk, and a very concerned third party inhabiting jake’s brain that isn’t all too happy with the current turn of dubiously canon events. Still updating, very fun and smart.

The Four Kings, the God Thief, and the Black Diamond Pirates =>

https://archiveofourown.org/works/17886581/chapters/42220607

DIRK AND VRISKA. PIRACY. SONG. HOES (JAKE)

Sea shanties for Thots (Four kings sequel) =>

https://archiveofourown.org/works/22210135/chapters/53028541

jake needs to adjust to his new life and occupation overseas, ft; more songs, more piracy, and schrodinger’s hoe. Extensively jake-introspective, told through his POV.

Song of the Pyre =>

https://archiveofourown.org/works/10875459/chapters/24161439

EPIC SCALE vrisrezi space opera ft. hardass legislacerator Terezi & outlaw Vriska being forced to work together after they sort-of-accidentally kill terezi’s shitty clown ex. Feelings are caught, trials are held, there’s a revolution coming. Delightfully written. Reads as pretty solid and complete despite the 19/21 chapters done - ACT 1 counts as a book of its own, ACT 2 is solid.

Pilot Light, Pale rapture (full series) => https://archiveofourown.org/series/1403233

“They want you on Olympus, they want you on a faraway star watching the planet turn benignly. They want the original Gods in the four corners of the earth, protectors in an invisible palace. “And the Witch sat vigil in her southern eastmost realm, looking down upon her descendants,” they’d say, “and saw that it was good.

You do not have an Olympus. You have a house that smells like burnt toast, because Davepeta did just that only an hour ago.”

Prospit kids + Really Good and Fun earth C shenanigans ensue. Incredible insightful exploration on Jade, her childhood, and mostly what happens after the curtains close and she finally has time to be awake.

After Meat, Aftermath. (full series) => https://archiveofourown.org/series/1420354

In one universe, college!au Rose lalonde takes barre classes. In another, arguably more relevant one, Rosebot peers into her life. this will lead to inevitable chaos. incredible rose + kanaya + vriska + jake + dirk focus and one of my fav AU’s.

*below are my favorite dirk-focused works:*

Detective Pony

https://archiveofourown.org/works/2427119/chapters/5371283

At first I didn’t include this one, having taken for granted that everyone had read it already, but I think as of ‘21 the fandom is a bit different and not many have. Facts being: this is the definitive solo Dirk Strider story; seamless with the detective pony book dirk edits in homestuck-proper, deeply indulgent, funny, and cathartic, one might even say. Also an audiobook and a webseries, if that’s more up to your speed!

A Eulogy for Laplace’s Demon (After Meat, Aftermath spinoff) =>

https://archiveofourown.org/works/20047735/chapters/47475769

A good jump-in point for AM,A but hugely more focused on dirk arguing with his own demons. Doesn’t pull any punches.

Dualshock Desertbloom =>

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18428552/chapters/43651733

Dirk wakes up in a scalding liminal space and splinters his beta self out of his body like an amoeba parting in two. It’s a Predicament. They have to learn how to cohabitate if they want to try to figure out what the fuck is going on, and Dirk can’t help but prod and poke around to learn more about his twisted-funhouse-mirror-self along the way. Really meaty character-study, some of my favorite dirkvoice (and brovoice) passages are definitely all over here.

House of Dirk => https://archiveofourown.org/works/19156126/cha pters/45530146

dirk and caliborn, in a sitcom, holding hands. nothing bad could ever possibly happen

Timaeus, Testified. => https://archiveofourown.org/works/19479223/chapters/46368625

“go crazy go stupid!!!!!!” - dirk strider, metamonster

*Fun / short / thoughtful stories:*

Two idiots at Homoville, N69, TX

==> https://archiveofourown.org/works/26130925

Dirk freaks out and goes on r/relationships to try and figure out how to mend the semi-relationship he has with his weird roommate. (hint: his name starts with J)

Light Without Effulgence

==> https://archiveofourown.org/works/25986289

Rose is having a writer’s block. Jake is bored in the middle of his family’s own vacation. They sit down to mercilessly pick at each other’s brains, and the results may surprise you (not clickbait)

Interrogating the text from the wrong perspective => https://archiveofourown.org/works/615521

(Calliope and Rose have fandom wars. Its really funny)

Witching Hour => https://archiveofourown.org/works/12620732

Eschewal => https://archiveofourown.org/works/4284384

jake goes ham

Dreamscapers => https://archiveofourown.org/works/22455073/chapters/53653849

Stygian blue =>

https://archiveofourown.org/works/23946412/chapters/57588850

Terezi and brain ghost Vriska have a conversation. (illustrated!!!)

Bitter =>

https://archiveofourown.org/works/30871334

Jaw-dropping JadeRose comic oneshot; meta, jealousy, crushes, and girls being a little off.

*FANADVENTURE CORNER:*

CHOICELESS HOPE

==> https://archiveofourown.org/works/28100313/chapters/68850048#workskin

Your name is TEREZI PYROPE.

You have been searching the depths of the FURTHEST RING for CHILDHOOD BEST FRIEND, PRETEENHOOD NEMESIS, TEEN SWEETDIAMOND, and POSSIBLE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE, VRISKA SERKET, for what may or may not have been THREE MONTHS.

Near the start of her search for Vriska, Terezi is offered a choice.

KITTYQUEST

==> https://mspfa.com/?s=32792&p=2

Centuries in the future, the daughter of jade harley and davepeta pierces together what it is like to grow up knowing your parents and much of your extended family are immortal beings. Incredible art, lots of really really fun cameos and incredible worldbuilding (Not epilogue compliant, barely credits compliant, remains one of my favorite extended pocket universes to this day.)

FAILURE TO LAUNCH

==> https://mspfa.com/?s=34750&p=1

It’s june egbert’s first night out! From the official TV programme summary; “Starring the one and only JUNE EGBERT! Who knows what shenanigans will ensue… Wild hootenannies? Late night pizza picnics? ROMANCE??? Tune in and find out on FAILURE TO LAUNCH!” this can only ever end well, right?

THERAPYSTUCK

==> https://mspfa.com/?s=36345&p=3

That’s right, buckos. The lot of you are going to therapy. Turns out after a member of the tight-knit god community (Sollux) decides to seek a little help, more shenanigans were sure to follow.

#fic rec #updated sporadically

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asuka--langley--soryu · 3 years

Text

tagged by: @so1987 thank you!!!

1. why did you choose your url?

I had just watched nge and wanted an asuka url and this was available lol. I have desperately and deeply wanted the single dash version for literally years but its never been available :// if you are hoarding it then pls know we are mortal enemies on this earth and i can and will fight you for it

2. any side blogs? if you have them, name them and why you have them.

well, first of all, this is a sideblog lol. my main is @paradoxspaces

I’ve had various sideblogs over the years but at this point the only active one (aside from here) is an mcr/music sideblog @so-ingestible. Once upon a time I ran @isgeorgehwbushdeadyet which is uhhh obviously now defunct but remains my pride and joy

3. how long have you been on tumblr? jfc since literally 2011 :/ ive seen it all and somehow stuck around which idk is probs in the dsm somewhere

4. do you have a queue tag? Is just ‘q’ right now, but back in the day I did used to have one of those dumb punny ones bc it was The Thing To Do

5. why did you start your blog in the first place? Started this blog bc I’d finished nge and was absolutely out of my mind about it and needed somewhere to vent that lol. Also I’d gotten this URL and it seemed a shame to waste it.

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp? this asuka has been one of my go-to pfps for yeaaars across various platforms. I like how judgemental she looks.

(tho just between you and me i have been thinking of changing it soon so mayhaps watch out for that)

7. why did you choose your header? I like the ‘red sea’ image and it’s not super obtrusive/obnoxious

8. which post of yours has the most notes? I have no idea lol I dont keep track of that. like i said i’ve been here since 2011 and have had multiple sideblogs in that time so is more work than its worth

9. how many mutuals do you have? is there a way to find this out that isn’t literally going through and counting? bc im like. not doing that.

10. how many followers do you have? 10k on here

11. how many people do you follow? 688

12. have you ever made a shitpost? lol yea sure whatever that even means

13. how often do you use tumblr? uh god probs too often? its really the only social media I use tbh

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog? who won? lol no, not really and especially not at this point. i just.....dont take tumblr seriously enough to muster the kind of energy to get into the maladjusted social thunderdome that goes on here. obvs i have been known to get snippy w anons and post about disagreeing w certain opinions bc i am, at the end of the day, a bitch, but i dont think thats the same thing lol.

however i will say that on my main (and off tumblr as well, unfortunately) circa 2012 I used to throw myself passionately and heroically into the most god awful unholy trenches of the vriscourse bc idk apparently i had nothing better to do back then and thought it was my mission from god to argue w people on reddit. if you know anything about the relationship between any given unmedicated 14 yr old prelesbian meangirl and vriska then you can probably guess how i acted--which is to say like an absolutely rabid fucking animal.

15. how do you feel about ‘you need to share this’ posts? i ignore any posts longer than two sentences as a general rule

16. do you like tag games? (+) 17. do you like ask games? yes to both!

18. Which one of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous? o christ once again i have no fucking clue. if youre famous lmk

19. do you have a crush on a mutual? nah lol none of you are real

20. tags (no pressure!) o geez i will come back and edit this when im home xoxo

#this has been a text post #obvi im not serious about ignoring posts consiering my own long posting loool #but i do tend to scroll past things longer than a paragraph if they dont immediately grab me #mine

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rabble-dabble · 4 years

Text

The Cancer King's Court ~ The Scourge Sisters

Vriska Serket/The Pirate Queen

Everything in this timeline goes the same as in our timeline up until Terezi confronts Vriska. Terezi can’t bring herself to kill her and Vriska goes off to fight Noir. Noir ignores her and proceeds to slaughter her entire team. Vriska is narrowly able to kill Bec Noir, but it’s too late. Everyone else is dead.

Vriska is overtaken by remorse. Stranded alone on the meteor in a Doomed Timeline of her own making, Vriska is left alone with her thoughts. She tries to make conversation with the humans, but she finds she can’t confess what she did. Eventually, the humans start asking about the other trolls and Vriska stops talking to them.

After a few weeks of stewing in her own grief, Vriska gets an idea. If she can’t fix this problem, then her ancestor surely can. Everything Vriska did was done in a failed imitation of her ancestor’s exploits. Surely the person who did it right would have an answer for this problem. She could fix her mistakes. She could get her friends back. She could fix everything. Vriska dedicates her every second of sleep to finding her dancestor in the dreambubbles.

Vriska eventually tracks down the legendary Marquise Spinnerette Mindfang….. only to find her living in a regular hive. Sure, it was a fancy hive, but that’s every Cobalt’s hive. When she finds the ghost of her ancestor… she finds her lazily writing in her diary. Turns out, Mindfang’s journal was just her own self insert fanfiction. Everything Vriska had imitated, looked up to, and based her own self worth on was a lie.

Vriska wanders the dreambubbles in a depressive slump when she’s approached by a cloaked version of Aradia. Vriska basically blows up at her, profusely apologizing for everything she did before trailing off as she realizes that this isn’t her Aradia.

“well, this pr0bably d0esn’t mean much t0 y0u, because i’m n0t y0ur aradia, but f0r what it’s w0rth, i f0rgive y0u. we’ve b0th made s0me pretty big mistakes, but it’s n0t t0 late t0 c0rrect them.”

“welc0me t0 the cancer king’s c0urt, vriska serket.”

This Vriska is almost unrecognizable next to her canon counterpart in terms of attitude. She’s here to make amends, but with her confidence smashed and no one to look to for guidance, she doesn’t really know how to do that. That’s why she’s willing to go along with the Cancer King’s plan, despite moral reservations. Honestly, that’s why everyone goes along with what Karkat says. They want the happy ending they were robbed of or they want to fix some huge mistake, they just don’t know how to do that. If Karkat, the guy with the huge heart hidden under all that bluster, says everything will be fine then it surely will right? More pertinent to Vriska, ignoring her friends concerns got everyone killed last time. She’d best listen to the leader of the group this time.

That said, she’s still Vriska. Sweeps worth of ego don’t just vanish. When she goes to apologize to Tavros, Tavros bites back. Vriska angrily points out that she’s not the same Vriska that hurt him and things nearly escalate into a fight until Aradia steps in. After a few rounds of mediation from the Red Death, tensions calm down a little. At least the Pirate Queen is trying to make amends, which is more than can be said for the Beast Master’s Vriska. Neither version of Tavros owes either version of Vriska any kind of forgiveness and they both acknowledge that.

Vriska actually sympathizes with her main timeline counterpart. She gets it. She was there. Literally the only thing that separates the two is a split second decision and a punch to the face. Out of everyone in the Cancer King’s Court, the Pirate Queen is the one who comes the closest to turning her main counterpart over to their side.

But, while Tavros would never forgive Vriska, Terezi will. Both Terezi and Vriska admit that a relationship between the two of them isn’t feasible. They aren’t the same people from their alternate timelines, so continuing where they left off isn’t really feasible. Instead, Terezi makes a point of keeping Vriska from turning completely self destructive. Yes, she fucked up, but suffering does not equal redemption. Getting herself killed won’t fix the damage she did.

“TH3 PROS3CUT1ON F1NDS GU1LTY VR1SK4 S3RK3T. BUT YOUR S3NT3NC3 1S COMMUN1TY S3RV1C3, NOT D34TH.”

The two are able to build a genuine friendship, something like what they could’ve had had they grown up somewhere other than Alternia. Vriska even serves as Terezi’s wingman regarding a certain feline hunter, but more on that later.

In combat, the Pirate Queen is the Magnificent that canon Vriska thinks she is. Now that she’s not glory hounding and us just trying to get the job done, she’s dangerously effective. She’s consistently misjudged by the Condescension’s forces as that same smug brat who keeps getting her team into trouble. Then they’re caught flat footed when Vriska fights smart and doesn’t take obvious bate. On the manipulation side of things, Vriska’s able to play up her remose and genuine desire to atone to earn people’s trust. It’s all technically true, they just don’t know how she intends to atone. It’s far more effective than the blunt mind control past Vriska would’ve gone for.

Vriska is every bit the dangerous, competent, complex, anti-villain she used to think she was. Difference is, now she doesn’t enjoy it.

Terezi Pyrope/The Hung Jury

Terezi’s timeline was exactly the same as ours up until one crucial point. Terezi was quick to notice when Vriska went God-Tier, so she decided to preemptively go God-Tier to match. Once immortal, Terezi’s precognition goes into overdrive and she’s able to instantly see into the future where Vriska makes the choice boost up Bec Noir and get everyone killed. She realizes that, for whatever reason, she doesn’t actually want Vriska dead, so she dedicates herself to trying to reason Vriska down. She sees the negative impact it would have on her to kill Vriska, after all. Vriska is confused by this abrupt change in behavior and so her responces are a mixed bag. As such, she ends up getting a lot closer to Vriska a lot quicker than in our timeline, but she isn’t quiet able to deter her either. Terezi understands what makes Vriska tick, far moreso than in canon, but she doesn’t understand how to rewire her. It doesn’t help that, from Vriska’s pov, her rival and kismesis is suddenly pale flirting with her.

So, when the time comes for her to kill Vriska to stop Bec Noir, Terezi can’t go through with it. Then the predictable happens. Vriska dies fighting against Noir, but Terezi manages to best him while he’s weak. Doesn’t change the fact all of her friends are dead because of her failure to act. Terezi isn’t sure what to make of her failure as she’s stuck floating on a meteor in a doomed timeline. She can’t think that killing Vriska would’ve been the right thing to do, because she was so close to redeeming her. But, her failure to do that got everyone killed. She starts to miss the days where Vriska was just the person who blinded her. When Vriska was just someone she wanted dead.

So, when the Cancer King approaches her about fixing her mistake, Terezi counters that she doesn’t even really know what her mistake was. She tried her best, made logical choices, tried to save everyone. What went wrong?

Karkat tries again. Saying that it’s unfair that she arguably tried to do everything right, but inexplicably failed anyways. Again, Terezi shuts him down. She’s getting the vibe that the only reason he’s having this conversation is because he fucked something up and, knowing Karkat, it probably wasn’t his fault. So she presses at his motive and Karkat explains his plan. Terezi remarks that it’s… incredibly cruel by his standards. Realizing that she’s unswayed, Karkat tries to drive his point home. He takes them to doomed, hopeless timelines that otherwise can’t be salvaged. If he gains control over the narrative, he can fix these. Terezi just asks him to take them to the timelines he’s already visited, see first hand what kind of damage he’s doing. This back and forth continues for awhile.

At one point, Terezi closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. Words start to spill out. Words that seem wiser than her. Above her somehow.

She briefly wonders if the Terezi from Karkat’s timeline is speaking through her somehow. She’s more right than she realizes.

“K4RKL3S… OK4Y, NO. DROPP1NG TH4T. K4RK4T. 1 DON’T KNOW WH4T H4PP3N3D 1N YOUR T1M3L1N3. 1 DON’T KNOW WHO D13D OR 1F 1’M 3V3N 4L1V3 1N YOUR T1M3L1N3. BUT, 1 KNOW TH4T NON3 OF US, NON3 OF TH3M, WOULD W4NT TH1S. SO WHY DO YOU W4NT TH1S? NO M4TT3R WH4T H4PP3N3D, NO M4TT3R WH4T YOU D1D, W3 WOULDN’T W4NT YOU TO HURT 4NYON3. 1 KNOW YOU'R3 TRY1NG TO S4V3 3V3RYON3. 1 TR13D TO S4V3 3V3RYON3 TOO. BUT 1T D1DN’T G3T M3 4NYWH3R3.

1 GU3SS WH4T 1’M TRY1NG TO S4Y 1S, SH1T H4PP3NS? TH4T F33LS L1K3 SOM3TH1NG TH4T D4V3 WOULD S4Y H3R3 4T L34ST. BUT, NON3 OF TH4T W4S YOUR F4ULT. YOU DON’T H4V3 TO BL4M3 YOURS3LF FOR G3TT1NG FUCK3D BY F4T3. 1 SUR3 WOULDN’T 4ND 1 KNOW TH3 M3 FROM YOUR T1M3L1N3 WOULDN’T. B3C4US3 W3 KNOW YOU TR13D YOUR B3ST. W3 KNOW YOU C4R3D 4BOUT US, 3V3N B4CK WH3N YOU W3R3 TO B1G OF 4N 4SSHOL3 TO S4Y 1T OUT LOUD. YOU D1D WH4T YOU COULD 4ND YOU D1D 4S W3LL 4S YOU COULD. 1SN’T TH4T 3NOUGH?”

Karkat stands there, far off in a way Terezi couldn’t quiet imagine. For just a minute, it looked like he might walk away.

There was still time. He could find an easier solution. He didn’t need to hurt anyone.

…Karkat dismisses it as wishful thinking.

The Cancer King gives her a glimpse of the main timeline and the ruined state that it’s in. He shows her everything that’s been lost. Everyone who died. He shows her the image of a bloodparched Empress tearing through reality.

“I KNOW… THIS PROBABLY ISN’T THE RIGHT THING TO DO.“

He chokes on the words, taking a deep breath before continuing.

“BUT IT’S THE ONLY CHOICE I HAVE.”

Terezi’s gaze into the future reveals nothing. There’s only so far a doomed Seer of Mind can see. So her only choice is too believe him.

As a member of the team, Terezi serves as Karkat’s moral conscious even more so than Aradia does. Aradia keeps things in perspective for the group as a whole, while Terezi forces Karkat to consider his motives. Why are we going after these people? They aren’t God-Tiers and you swore you’d only absorb God-Tiers to keep from becoming as bad as the HIC. It helps that it isn’t just The Hung Jury that’s speaking to Karkat. Main Terezi, after dying and appearing in the Dreambubbles, has found a way to speak through her alternate timeline counterparts via a Heart artifact she got from Nepeta. She’s been trying to use The Hung Jury to redeem Karkat, but the Jury is becoming increasingly aware of her interference and is starting to hunt her down.

Terezi is a bit awkward around the Pirate Queen at first. A Vriska who is looking to atone for everything she did is uncomfortably close to what Terezi almost achieved. Still, she doesn’t hold that against her. Honestly, the two tend to act as moirails here. Terezi keeps Vriska from turning into a self loathing mess, while Vriska keeps Terezi distracted from her own guilt. Killing so many people in the name of the greater good weighs on her mind, and the only way Vriska knows to handle that is too keep her distracted. This has the added benefit of making main Terezi rethink her relationship with her own Vriska, seeing how comparatively healthy this one is.

At the advice of Nepeta (who I can assure you has been taking notes on this entire relationship), Vriska tries to help Terezi fill her other quadrants. Karkat is an immediate no, as his fuck ups with his own Terezi are still fresh in his mind. The others on the list turn her down for other reasons. Lack of interest, already taken, or have other quadrants to maintain. At Vriska’s suggestions, Terezi constantly ends up going back to Nepeta for advice about her latest target. Nepeta happily lists all the pros and cons about that particular relationship, points out all the things they might, and even roleplays with Terezi to practice her confession. Those meetings keep getting longer, Nepeta’s advice keeps getting more detailed. Nepeta starts slipping out of character in their roleplays more. Meanwhile, Vriska is watching from a distance with a shit eating grin and giving herself the greatest wingman award.

…Main Terezi is in denial about this having any effect on how she views her Nepeta. Not developing a crush, no siree.

As an active agent, Terezi tries to only target people she views as actively guilty. Not only will she set up large swaths of the Condescension’s army to be absorbed by the Cancer King, but she actively tries seeking out evil people so that she can bring justice down upon them. It helps her head rest easier. Terezi’s a consumate manipulator already, conning doomed players is a cinch. When The Hung Jury isn’t doing that, she’s actively hunting for her main timeline counterpart. Main Terezi knows better than to tango with a God-Tier version of herself, so she stays one step ahead.

The Hung Jury is the King’s conscience and right hand strategist. A force to be reckoned with and a mind few can match.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO THE WAY THIS HINTS THAT THIS VRISKA IS FROM THE DOOMED TIMELINE THE OG TEREZI CREATED AND ALSO GOD TIER TEREZI ALMOST BEING THE PERSON CONVINVING KARKAT

THIS IS TASTY OP THIS IS TASTY!!!

Also that neprezi - GOD YOU GUYS ARE ACTIVELY JUST THROWING THAT IN NOW HUH. should I just declare it the next ship on my list?? its the one that snuck its way up there. evil john anon this is SO good this is REALLY good I’m just AAAAAAAAAAAA

Anyway here are your outfits:

Here’s your Pirate Queen - I imagine with Vriska’s assured blinding confidence gone and the image of her hero being shattered, she’d attempt to find herself while also still trying to seek that familiar ground. She doesn’t look like an awe-inspiring pirate adventure seeker anymore but she still has a fashion sense. What scored me this was this line:

Vriska is every bit the dangerous, competent, complex, anti-villain she used to think she was. Difference is, now she doesn’t enjoy it.

Like OOF that just hits the mark!!

Terezi’s was more thoughtful, as she is - I imagine she finally takes up that fucking Lady Justice pose and setup but more like morally for Karkat, and I REALLY love what you did with her. I like how she’s the most pressing about his objectives here, because of course she would want to sniff out what this Karkat’s deal was, offering something of this magnitude, and then seeing the damage he caused to the main timeline. This Terezi doesn’t feel like a normal God Tier (although her outfit is heavily inspired so) but rather like a very ultimate mistress of Justice.

Doesn’t change the fact all of her friends are dead because of her failure to act. Terezi isn’t sure what to make of her failure as she’s stuck floating on a meteor in a doomed timeline. She can’t think that killing Vriska would’ve been the right thing to do, because she was so close to redeeming her. But, her failure to do that got everyone killed.

Everything Vriska had imitated, looked up to, and based her own self worth on was a lie.

The sense of loss and hopelessness in this really drove it home.

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bladekindeyewear · 4 years

Photo

HS^2 bloggin’ mainline 2020-09-29

More Homestuck time! Continuing on the outside-canon plot. Livebloggin’ starts now...

> CHAPTER 14. The Best Laid Plans

Wait, who’s house is this? Was this Roxy’s? (When I saw a glimpse browsing my twitter feed during the debate, I saw Yiffy on the ground accosted.)

> (==>)

THEY’RE JUST HOME?!?!?????

HOW??? HOW could the heat be off so badly?

Jane’s arrogant, but one of the CHARACTERISTICS of her arrogance is that she underestimates the character and capability of her political opponents. How would she NOT consider the possibility that these kids would return home again even while the heat was on?? How would she assume that JOHN would be too smart to come back to--

...oh right, she may not know John is involved or willing to do anything. That’s fair. But the kids??

I’m sure there’s going to be SOME sort of explanation of why the heat is off. Also, I wonder who made that anti-Jane battle plan chart? John himself, or Karkat or something? Karkat’s usually the chart-er.

JOHN: wow, i feel like i'm barely keeping myself sitting. JOHN: if it weren't for keeping you kids safe i'd be out there right now!

Hm. Are they counting on the fact that Crockercorp would KNOW that John and Vriska are both there to intimidate them from moving in against them? From a sheer difference-in-firepower standpoint after Vriska’s big display?

HARRY: and some of us aren't gods and shit. JOHN: i'm detecting a hint of judgement in your voice, there, harry anderson JOHN: don't you enjoy being a part of all this? finally getting to be in the thick of it all? HARRY: i mean i was having a fine time at school, if i'm being honest. HARRY: all this tear-assing back and forth between my home and various points of interest over the past few days has me pretty beat.

Yeah, most kids don’t appreciate being involved in war. Even Vrissy immediately showed some regrets no matter how much she liked to think of herself as wanting to get out there.

HARRY: also i wouldn't call this "the thick of it all" JOHN: oof, getting air quotes'd by my own son. JOHN: we had to hide in a forsythia bush on the way back here when that drone flew by! JOHN: that's the thick of father-son hijinks if i ever saw it! JOHN: well, modern day war hijinks, but i'll take what i can get, you know??

(Be more considerate, John!!) Hm, so they DID sneak their way back in here? I mean, John’s powers may have helped them get through unnoticed, but this is still a big stretch.

HARRY: i'm not knocking the old adrenaline thrill, or helping out Vrissy's moms or anything. HARRY: i'm just saying i was literally just here and you told me to leave, so i hope this is where we're gonna park it for a minute. HARRY: a boy's gotta breathe. JOHN: yeah, well, this wasn't my plan, either. JOHN: but rose sent out some false intel about us heading toward my house, so technically this is the safest place we can be right now, since they cleared the area and everything. JOHN: i guess.

Ahhhh. Okay. Yeah, a Seer of Light can float an attention lure and know it’ll be an effective enough distraction.

HARRY: hmm. JOHN: what? HARRY: now YOU look like you're hiding some extra commentary. JOHN: oh, i don't need to burden you with all the bureaucratic stuff, it's boring. HARRY: well now hold up, dad. HARRY: a minute ago you were all "we're in the fight together," and now you're backing out of sharing the details? JOHN: it's not really- HARRY: am i a part of this or not? JOHN: well i'd sure say you were! JOHN: but i guess maybe my thoughts on what is or isn't right for the operation aren't up to snuff. JOHN: because here i am, sitting in the dugout, same as you. HARRY: in the dugout?

Mhmm, John’s sore about Rose not counting on John as a heavy hitter. He got back INTO this in part because he missed all the action and relevance, and now they’re telling him to stop and stand still? That’s never been a command John’s easily agreed with. For now, protecting the kids (Blood!) is enough to keep him sitting, but if they (and Vriska) start encouraging him...

HARRY: plus i wouldn’t have been able to get your measurements for some clothes that actually fit you if we hadn’t come back here where all my sewing stuff is.

Thank god, we might get a non-embarrassing god-pajamas John back

HARRY: you were getting pretty into everything back there with rose and them? getting to be with the old crew and everything, like the stories you told me about the game? JOHN: yeah. HARRY: that sucks. JOHN: i had a good plan, too! JOHN: it just wasn't good enough for karkat, i guess. JOHN: i'm just not "experienced enough in combat strategy"

Oh huh, so that’s John’s discarded plan he’s holding. Karkat's faction hasn’t quite succeeded the bloody (heh) way so far, perhaps he needs John’s Breath to add some inspiration to it for the most success but they’re not giving him enough credit? It’s hard to blame them for doubting him, though.

JOHN: that is a plus of being here, at least. JOHN: it's been really nice to get to spend so much time with you. HARRY: um. yeah, it's not so bad. HARRY: anyway, before you ruffle my hair or anything, it looks like things are getting a bit heated between the vriskas over there. HARRY: maybe we should offer them a snack to bring the mood back down? JOHN: me, mess up your hair when you’ve worked so hard on that look? i do know you at least that well, harry anderson HARRY: thank god.

Cute!

VRISKA: So you actually want to know what I’m thinking now? You want my opinion? VRISSY: Um...Yes? VRISSY: I'm not Really Sure what’s going on right Now. VRISKA: What? VRISSY: I just was wondering why you’re so pissed off at me. VRISKA: What the fuck are you talking about? VRISKA: I’m not pissed at you, you haven’t done shit 8asically at all since i’ve been here. VRISKA: I just can’t 8elieve I’m 8ack stuck in this tacky rumpusblock after all of that!

Both Vriskas are constantly assuming the other Vriska is thinking about them because they’re both Vriska, when they’re really both self-cente-- no, that’s not quite true. Vrissy constantly assumes Vriska is thinking about her when she isn’t, and Vriska is somewhat grated because Vrissy belongs in this universe and she isn’t? Or--

Gosh they both have so many issues going on and firewalls up that I can’t actually make heads or tails of it. Usually what’s on Vriska’s mind is painfully obvious from her dodges, but Vrissy is so oblique with her OWN weird thought processes that-- god I dunno

VRISSY: We could do Something if You Wanted. VRISKA: Huh? VRISSY: If you’re 8ored. VRISSY: This isn’t my House, but Harry has video games and Movies and shit. VRISSY: Actually, we’re pro8a8ly 8etter off not watching his movies. VRISSY: His taste is Worse than His Dad’s. VRISKA: AGGGHHH!!!!!!!!

They’re from two different worlds, yeah.

VRISKA: No, I don’t want to watch a fucking movie! How the fuck can you think a8out movies????????? VRISKA: How are you okay with any of this? VRISSY: Any of What? VRISKA: 8eing left at home like a couple of dri88ling of wigglers!

Vriska invests all of her self-worth in what she can bring to the table relevance-ways. Her self-esteem couldn’t survive the sidelines.

VRISKA: How are you so calm right now? Your lusii were training you, right? And you’re a troll, you’re definitely five times stronger than a human! And if you’re my clone, you are way more 8adass than little miss Fussy Fangs. VRISKA: I can’t 8elieve you just stayed 8ehind?!?? VRISSY: Well...they told me to. And they’re my Moms.

COMPLETELY different lives. Vriska has never really accepted, never really KNEW what “peaceful life” is actually supposed to be, nor how alluring and satisfying it is.

VRISKA: Clearly not a good plan, 8ecause then I would 8e part of it! VRISKA: What’s the point of me even coming to this shitty fake reality if I’m not supposed to fix it?

hahahahahahahaha

VRISSY: Yeah, they told me about That stuff, but a Lot of the Shit that Happened in the Session if just not in the History Books. VRISSY: You weren’t Really mentioned that Much. VRISKA: Excuse me? VRISSY: People know who you Are, 'cause we had to Memorize the names of Every one of the Players, Even the ones who didn’t last very Long. VRISKA: You’re trying to tell me that there’s a whole recorded history of SGRUB, and I’m not in it? VRISSY: You’re not not in it. VRISSY: I guess they Mostly Focused on the Creators who Ascended, you know?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

--hm, what if some of the pre-retcon timeline where Vriska WASN’T as involved DID fold its way into this one? Explaining Jane remembering Gamzee showing up early in her session to sell her troll blood when that was (if we’re remembering right, correct me if I’m wrong) erased by the retcon in favor of Vriska time-traveling in in his place?

VRISKA: Whoever was schoolfeeding you was a complete 8ulgesucker, because I “ascended” 8efore any of the humans did!! VRISKA: Literally 8illions of years 8efore, since our session was the one that created theirs!!!!!!!! VRISKA: I was the 8ne who 8uided John’s 8uffoonish 8lue ass all the way through his first 8ew days in the Medium! VRISKA: I m8de all the plans to take down the J8cks! VRISKA: I SINGLE H8ND8DLY! VRISKA: CURED YOUR MOTHER’S FUCKING ALCH8LISM!!!!!!!! JOHN: uh, vriska, everything okay over there? VRISKA: EVERYTHING’S FINE, J8HN! JOHN: okay. JOHN: do you girls want a snack? VRISKA: AAAAGGH!

HA!

HARRY: vriska, eat whatever. HARRY: just not the zebra cakes, those are mine.

(Zebra cakes are kinda Barbasol-bomb-like, right? Doom thing, because black-and-white stripes like most of the black-and-white-striped explosives in Homestuck? --Nah that’s a stretch.)

> (==>)

--That’s not Jane’s head, that’s JOHN’S head giving a thumbs up. Wow.

...Your plan prominently features Yiffy even though you didn’t know she existed until a couple hours ago?

JOHN: so anyway, as you can see, this would have worked just fine! HARRY: no i think karkat’s right. this looks like shit, dad. JOHN: you know, me letting your earlier use of the word "fuck" slide wasn't a blanket approval for all cursing in front of me. HARRY: sorry. HARRY: try not to make such a shit plan, and i won't call it that. JOHN: haha wow.

Harry really is his son, wow

HARRY: i mean, i still can't believe i told vrissy and them to bring a dead celebrity to school. HARRY: what was i THINKING. JOHN: you were thinking it sounded hilarious! JOHN: but yeah, in hindsight, maybe not the best call. JOHN: maybe it’s genetic? HARRY: yeah.

Harry really is his son, wow

HARRY: i kinda can’t believe we’re all still alive, actually. HARRY: and how did YOU make it this far, being so bad at this? JOHN: i had my friends with me, i guess.

Pretty much!

Plus, they haven’t really had time to talk about what happened with Dave, yet, and he doesn’t want to tank the mood by bringing him up.

Glad John’s taken some time to deal with that offscreen, so he can keep being cheery here.

He’d spent so long seeing mostly the best parts of Roxy in Harry Anderson. He forgot, he guesses, to look for himself in there, too. And if what they have in common right now is a lack of strategic foresight, hey, he’ll take it.

Hah, fair enough!

JOHN: speaking of friends, i will say the snacks were a good call, at least! JOHN: i don’t hear any more screaming, anyway. JOHN: see, that's one good plan between the two of us!

--they left, didn’t they.

> (==>)

HARRY: oh, that was definitely them leaving, wasn’t it. JOHN: ah.

--So was Vrissy peer-pressured along, or practically abducted?

> (==>)

--Oh, this was the picture I glimpsed and scrolled past on Twitter! She’s not on the ground, she’s running-- good.

> (==>)

--ALREADY! Fuck yes! :D

(and those cute paws on jade’s gloves wow)

> (==>)

--Oh I thought that was an air-lift! No, they were just diving to the ground with her.

Man, the pacing of this panel-to-panel composition throws me SO much. Stuff happens without being properly established, and we’re shown the wrong keyframes to internalize it easily. (I hope I don’t have to keep mentioning how much I miss Andrew’s talent at it, even though the art WITHIN panels is better here.)

So Jane is confronting them with soldiers.

ROSE: Oh, is this one of those rare and marvelous beasts, the "villain speech"? ROSE: I've written one or two in my time. ROSE: I'm on the edge of my seat. I hope it's better than your political material; I've always found that rather trite. JANE: I haven't given a political speech in years, Ms. Lalonde. I don't know what you're referring to. I'm just a simple business woman. JADE: right with her own talk show JADE: and multi billion dollar merchant company and lobbying groups! JANE: That's what a business woman is, Jade, dear.

--ah, in this perspective maybe Jane DOESN’T have the resources to be “everywhere” yet. Makes more sense that they could’ve left the home unguarded.

JANE: But enough of that. I'll skip straight to the point. JANE: You are on my territory, in the presence of my secret police, laying your hand on my investment.

QUIT DEHUMANIZING THE GIRL

JANE: You think I come anywhere unprepared? I haven't left the house without an armed guard in years. ROSE: Is it the libidinous power rush that comes from snapping your fingers at men with guns, or are you worried that you might accidentally do something heroic?

Rose usually has decent snapbacks I guess

I don’t think Rose’s plan was to admit themselves into custody like Jane is asking, but I’m not ruling it out.

> (==>)

(this image is so cute)

JADE: wow could you be any more full of yourself?? JADE: shut the fuck up for a minute and look up!

> (==>)

Ahwhoops. Jane misunderstood who’s in control of the situation.

> (==>)

Ooh! That’s threatening. :)

(Tavros is playing along, but he doesn’t HAVE to fake that sweat.)

KANAYA: If You Make One Single Move I Will Bite Him Directly On The Exterior Shout Tunnel KANAYA: I Will Turn Your Son Into A Rainbow Drinker KANAYA: Then You Will Have A Rainbow Drinker Son JANE: That's not how troll vampirism works, don't treat me like an imbecile! JANE: You think I don't know everything there is to know about your disgusting biology? KANAYA: KANAYA: Okay Then I Will Just Break His Fucking Neck

HAH

Yeah, mutual child-threat standoff. Jane isn’t going to make that sacrifice, AND can’t be SEEN making that sacrifice.

> (==>)

Jane Crocker hesitates.

This is something that she used to do regularly. Hesitate. Stop and think and weigh her options. Talk out every possible scenario and the impact they might have, morally and optically and socially. What would the political apparatus think? What would her social media followers think, her friends? As the years went by and she honed her instincts, she found herself doing this less and less.

Yeah, the difference between deserving a Just death or not is whether you’re willing to check yourself and allow another’s will to override your own. To allow someone who ISN’T you to have a say in how reality unfolds, to consider that what you want may not be right.

The impact that her words made became lessened when spread out across such a wide and thirsty audience, as public sentiment began to swing her way. She stopped thinking about how she would be received, and more about how she could play to the people she knew would receive her favorably.

Yeesh. Topical.

Looking up she sees Tavvy with tears in his eyes. Rage and guilt surge inside her. This situation is not her fault.

Anger is based in fear. Jane is not just afraid for Tavros, but afraid that she’s at fault. And the more she fears and has to deny that, the angrier she’ll get.

Is it angry enough to make a rash decision here?

> (==>)

JANE: This situation is not my fault!

Jesus, she even said it out loud?

JANE: I'm the only one who has taken any interest in her upbringing or education! JANE: Or have you forgotten who has been paying for her schooling and taking charge of her introduction into society? JADE: i never asked you to do that! JADE: you offered! JADE: so stop calling me ungrateful for not sucking your dick over things i never asked for!

Taking something that was a clear, ostensibly-selfless gift and using it as a transactional club. I hate that. Nothing shows how transparently little you actually believed in the “selfless thing to do” than that.

> (==>)

She can't just stand here and let herself be humiliated, allowing two architects of the insurgency mess her around like this.

If they were to kill Tavros, the entire world would see them commit this war crime. And weighed in the balance, Lalonde and Harley would be off the playing board. Saving your daughter certainly counted as a heroic death, and with the damage they'd done to humanity, it would also probably be just.

Tavros has not called out for her once. Perhaps he knows what her choice was always going to be.

Whoa you made that choice pretty easily, psycho-Jane. Are you actually gonna try it???

> (==>)

JAKE: Tavvy!

Oh shit, the plan! :D

--if Jake isn’t just. Um. Taking the threat to Tavvy seriously, not having realized this was a bluff. Um. Jake?

> (==>)

That looks like he’s taking it seriously. Shit.

At least Jane will look like even MORE of a monster if she gives the order this way.

> (==>)

JANE: Stand down!

I don’t think Jake’s gonna listen to you when it comes to Tav’s safety anymore.

> (==>)

JANE: Get out of my sight.

Oh.

Is she letting Jade, Rose and Yiffy go? --probably, but it’s unclear.

Damn this panel-to-panel framing not conveying what’s going on properly.

Guess that’s it for now! Patreon Commentary....... I’ve been putting off the commentary backlog for a long time, but I think the Homestuck Commentary coverage deficit still has to wait a while longer because the World Is A Fuck and I have to devote more time to stress relief than usual. Take care y’all

EDIT: extra bit on gamzee corpse here

#Homestuck #hs2 #Homestuck Liveblog #upd8 #Homestuck^2 #spoiler #spoilers

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ask-the-party-god · 4 years

Text

Ask The Party God - Timeline

the pre-terezi-gang timeline post is here

height references over here

hi, im jade! everyones favorite party goddess and trans doggy girl~ but you already know that! if youre reading this, it means youre interested in learning more about my reality, because paradox space is fucking weird like that and you cant really be sure all the time

as far as im aware, everything up to the point where we beat the game happened without deviations from the alpha timeline? so this is what rose has talked about as a ‘terminal timeline’, or ‘post-canon’, or whatever the hell that is supposed to mean

we got to earth-c, and i settled in the troll kingdom because trolls are cool, dave and karkat were in the neighborhood, and the caverns are close by so i can visit rose and kanaya speedily as well! i still do have my old tower out on an island, with my workshop and garden, but i almost never sleep in it, too far away and isolated from everyone...

then one day i found this old active server in the furthest ring keeping tumblr active and i thought, hey, why not have some fun? ;D

as for the others...

my darling sis june egbert! she lives in the consort kingdom, but has been thinking about relocating elsewhere lately! she went through a rough patch right after the game, unsure of what to do and full of all sorts of doubts and questions, but shes doing a lot better nowadays! specially now that terezi is back, shes been a lot more peppy and hanging around with the lalondes particularly!

rose rose rose rose~ happily married to her wife kanaya, duh, but that doesnt make her any less of a flirty cutie! a while back she got really sick for a bit, and weve been keeping an eye on her just in case it happened again, but its been all good ever since! she helps kanaya at the caverns a bunch, which makes her schedule busy busy... and you didnt hear this from me, buuuut words out on the street that she and kanaya may be warming to the idea of having a kid! <3 well see how that goes!

one cool dude~ daves a little bit of a shut-in honestly! and honestly i dont blame him? he must be tired after all the timeline and time travel shenanigans, so he spends a good chunk of his time hanging out in his and karkats house! hes kind of awkward about opening up with feelings and stuff, and ive been trying to nudge him to be more open for a while! but with all the craziness thats been going down lately, and more people coming and going and getting together, hes starting to consider things he hadnt before~ hopefully, some specific someones? ;)

janey! my uh... ecto-mom, technically, although we see each other more like cousins than anything else! she still owns crockercorp, but ever since jasprose has been around, she has been spending a lot more time at home and just hanging out with her friends, which really, sounds a lot healthier than the big business thing she had going on a while back! she enjoys teaching me baking stuff, but doesnt have much patience for my decorating skills ;p

grandpa! and grandson technically, hehe, jakes kind of a weird case, hes a mixture of a shut-in, a celebrity and an adventurer! he can spend up to weeks at a time without leaving his manor, but then hell have full weeks of interviews and hiking, and thats not to say anything of when he and dirk put out another episode or two of their dumb comedy talkshow... hes often busy with stuff, but hes still a good pal and can clear his schedule in seconds if we need him for something!

one sweet nb dude! rox really is... something else, really! fun to tag along at a party, fun to chill at home playing games, fun to talk about more serious stuff and open up with him, he really is just solid as they come! hes been hanging out a lot more with june since she got out of her depressive slump, but sometimes i wonder if junebug finds weird to get flirty with roxy, considering im pretty sure we made out in front of her at some point or two... hehehe

dirk! if daves a bit of a shut-in, hes a shut-in times two, which is weird because youd think someone stuck in post-apocalyptic earth for so long would want to hang out more? not to say he DOESNT, though! hes around jake often enough, and keeps close to jane, roxy and dave specially! we dont see each other too often, but we HAVE been messing around with robots and planning out to upgrade our respective self-bots for funsies!

aradia! we only met briefly in dreams for the longest time, but i knew already that she was a riot! she came with terezis group after she finally found vriska, and seems pretty happy just... kind of... being around and watching shenanigans ensue! i actually dont know where she lives, but she drops by occasionally, because im apparently pretty ‘fun’... cant say i disagree ;)

sollux is blind, and not dead, and WILL kick you in the shins if you keep prying about how exactly he ended up like that, which is fair enough! he spends a good chunk of his time with aradia, and im not sure if theyre dating or not...? but hes been around the other trolls a bunch! specially kanaya, apparently theyre good friends that go way back! i guess they both DO style their hair similarly, with the side spike thingies...

the other half of the dave-kat duo! swooooon~ really though, i cant remember the last time i said “dave” or “karkat” without talking about the other shortly after... buuut theyre just roomies, and hell get awkward and grumpy if you even so slightly IMPLY otherwise, despite the fact everyone knows they fall asleep leaning against each other during friday movie night! roooolling my eyes~ with the rest of the living trolls having arrived, hes been a lot more willing to go outside, which im glad for! its healthy to get some fresh air from time to time, and specially hang out with friends!

oh-la-la, miss maryam-lalonde herself! kanayas the matriarch of the caverns, and quite the busy gal, having taken it upon herself to supervise her entire species reproduction and well-being... in my opinion, she needs a good vacation from time to time, and to be less of a workaholic! >:o ive been helping her occasionally in the caverns, and as of late weve begun trying to mess around with ectobiology for some troll-human crossing experiments with... not good results so far... but hey, rome wasnt built in a day!

terezis back, yes! after spending YEARS out there looking for vriska, she managed to find her and come back, the madwoman! personally im not sure why anyone would go to such lengths for... her... but also, its not my bond, not my place to speak, she obviously really loves her a bunch! with vriska no longer lost in the middle of the furthest ring, shes started to catch up with everything going on with earth-c, and i think shes really going to like being around! specially with how much june and the rest have missed her ;)

troublemaker extraordinaire herself! shes... well, shes vriska, im pretty sure she stole that eyepatch from sollux? so you just know she up to no good already >:/ speaking of her eyepatch, im not sure WHY shes wearing it? whatever kinda wound she got, she doesnt like mentioning it, despite bragging about defeating english at every chance she gets! terezi says they found her popping in and out of consciousness in the furthest ring with some messy wounds, and that shed probably been hovering out there after the fight for years... doesnt seem to have humbled her in the slightest <.<

callieeeee! theyre super sweet and wonderful but also really shy and awkward! they live with roxy but manage to outdo dirk in terms of shut-in-ness... they also totally like roxy but is unsure about approaching those feelings considering the whole species thing and whatever, ive been trying to get them to open up for a while now! weve written fanfic together and drawn grids, so i can definitely tell theres some attraction there, even if theyre afraid of acting upon it just yet <3

jaspie is roses bane, and the one cat that made me get used to their smell enough that i dont bark at them instantly anymore! im pretty sure she crashes at janes often, and is just as outgoing and flirty as i am around earth-c parties and bars, which is saying something honestly! i wont let her dethrone me as the party god, though >:)

and finally davepeta! theyre staying with june for the time being until they can get settled around and see what they want to do here! theyve also dropped by dave and karkats a bunch, which i most certainly dont mind! i definitely appreciate some help in bringing a romantic vibe into those twos lives~ ;o

and thats about it! theres also the nannasprites and tavrosprite and arquius, but they pop by so sporadically and rarely that i dont know what theyre doing a majority of the time... we lost track of gamzee after the session so hopefully hes totally gone, and we havent heard any message from caliborn in years... and with the furthest ring broken and the black hole sealed, leaving a weird white empty space right in the middle of reality, im not sure what our chances of bringing back the other trolls are :( but still, we keep living on happily over here and having our fun slice of life ending together!

id say after everything weve gone through, we deserve a big break, dont we? hehehe <3

also, particularly important events that happen and are recorded in this blog will be tagged as timeline shenanigans!

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pesterloglog · 7 months

Text

Harry Anderson Egbert, Vrissy Maryam-Lalonde, Tavros Crocker, Vriska Serket, Reporter 1, Reporter 2, Reporter 3

Page 213-217

HARRY: ok, i think i'm as ready as i'm ever going to be.

HARRY: which isn't really saying very much.

HARRY: how about you guys.

VRISSY: Well, in simple terms, We're Fucked.

VRISSY: We still don't have a way out, and more and more Reporters are showing up every second.

VRISSY: And the moment we step outside, we're Targets for the Crocker Cops.

TAVROS: We must evade them at all costs,,,

TAVROS: They are,,, with some certainty,,, under orders to capture vrissy,,, and,,, also me,

TAVROS: And,,, i'm not sure whose punishment is likely to be worse,,,

HARRY: how are you holding up, tavros?

TAVROS: M, me,,,?

TAVROS: I'm,,,

TAVROS: I'm quite well,,, harry anderson,,, thank you for asking,,,

HARRY: ok...

TAVROS: However,,, i must admit,,, the thought of our impending pursuit,,, and potential capture,,, makes my blood run cold,,,

HARRY: yeah. the more i think about it, the more nervous i feel.

HARRY: i've had stage fright before, but this is ridiculous!

HARRY: haha...

HARRY: ...

TAVROS: ,,,

HARRY: ...

HARRY: look, tavros.

HARRY: in case we don't make it out of this,

HARRY: i just wanted to say,

HARRY: that

HARRY: i'm so--

VRISKA: Alright, are we done here?

HARRY: um.

VRISKA: Forget it.

VRISKA: I've been stuck in this room for what feels like a month and I'm at my fucking limit.

VRISKA: I'm outta here.

TAVROS: B, But,,,

HARRY: you can't just-

VRISSY: Vriska, we're Tr8pped!

VRISSY: How are we supposed to Le8ve?!

VRISKA: You guys are free to do whatever you want, 8ut I'm just going to use the front door.

VRISSY: *Excuse Me*????????

VRISKA: L8r 8itches.

HARRY: oh my god?

TAVROS: T, There she goes,,,

VRISSY: Vriska!

VRISSY: W8!

VRISSY: I'm coming too!!!!!!!!

HARRY: oh fucking christ.

REPORTER 1: ...join live from a neighbourhood in the Carapacian Kingdom, where the perpetrators have finally decided to show their faces...

REPORTER 2: ...are alleged to have killed the beloved salvational figure Gamzee Makara, may his boots jingle forever in paradise...

TAVROS: (T, this is awful,,,)

REPORTER 3: ...denounced by government sources as a band of violent rebellion extremists...

REPORTER 1: ...children of creators, themselves rebellion leaders...

REPORTER 2: ...outfits could at best be described as only moderately fashionable...

HARRY: (oh god oh god oh god)

REPORTER 3: ... Hey, excuse me?

REPORTER 3: Miss Terrorist?

REPORTER 3: Care to give a statement?

VRISSY: (No, don't....)

VRISKA: Thought you'd never ask, 8uddy.

VRISKA: You want a st8tment? Got one right here.

VRISKA: (Ahem.)

VRISKA: Hey!!!!!!!!

VRISKA: Hi, humans!!!!!!!!

VRISKA: What’s up!!!!!!!!

VRISKA: Get all your fucking news gru8s turned up to the max 8ecause I’m only going to say this once.

VRISKA: Do you want to know who I am?

VRISKA: My name is VRISKA SERKET, and I'm the cre8tor this world never knew it had.

VRISKA: I left my home behind and put a stop to the demon who 8urned two universes for fuel, all so that this plan8 could come into existence.

VRISKA: Without me, none of you would even 8e here.

VRISKA: Capiche????????

VRISKA: Now, you may have heard people saying a lot of things a8out us.

VRISKA: They want you to 8elieve that we are violent terrorists, who want to destroy your religion and your very way of life on this planet you call home!

VRISKA: So I just wanted to take a moment to clarify the situation.

VRISKA: *deep breath*

VRISKA: YOU FUCKING 8ET WE ARE!!!!!!!!

VRISKA: I've done and seen things that would make every single one of you piss yourselves dead, so I've seen enough to know that this planet is a FUCKING DISGRACE!

VRISKA: It's a joke!

VRISKA: AND NOT EVEN A VERY GOOD ONE!!!!!!!!

VRISKA: This planet is a sad little joke of a world squatting inside of the 8IGGEST, LAMEST JOKE in the HISTORY of EXIST8NCE!!!!!!!!

VRISKA: Hahahahahahahaha...

VRISKA: Haaaaaaaa.

VRISKA: ........

VRISKA: You know...

VRISKA: I 8et no8ody here even knew who I was.

VRISKA: Everything I did, I did for you.

VRISKA: You didn't need some idiot clown to redeem you.

VRISKA: Everything you needed was already here!

VRISKA: 8ecause I fucking 8UILT IT FOR YOU!!!!!!!!

VRISKA: And after all that, you couldn't even have the decency to 8e 8oring and nice to each other.

VRISKA: So guess what.

VRISKA: The carnival is over!

VRISKA: I killed that harlequin son of a 8itch, and I hope he 8urns in clown hell forever.

VRISKA: 8ut for the crime of falling for his disgusting lies?

VRISKA: Your society... no, your whole planet... it deserves to 8urn str8 to MEGAhell, and I'm gonna 8e the one to fly it there!

VRISKA: I'm gonna shatter your paradise into pieces with my 8are hands and SHIT IN ITS GRAVE!!!!!!!!

VRISKA: HOW'S THAT FOR A FUCKING ST8MENT!

VRISKA: YOU GOT ALL THAT, JANE CROCKER?

VRISKA: DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT'S COMING FOR YOU????????

VRISKA: YOU'VE MESSED WITH

VRISKA: ********VRISKA********

VRISKA: ****FUUUUUUUUCKING****

VRISKA: ********SERK8T********

VRISKA: AND SHE!!!!!!!!

VRISKA: HAS *HAD*!!!!!!!!

#homestuck #homestuck^2 #harry anderson egbert #vrissy maryam lalonde #tavros crocker #vriska serket #reporter 1 #reporter 2 #reporter 3 #homestuck^2 act 1 #page 213 #page 214 #page 215 #page 216 #page 217

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