#What kind of name was average spooky what the fuck

[latteandjacks]

Did I sucked at drawing I saved some Scary Month/Swap au draws from my old account, only the ones that are still canon (The designs are mostly not)

The first two are the only good ones, the rest are decent at best

⬆️Here's a fun fact that made me really happy and still does, when I showed my friend the first one he legit believed it was from the show for a moment and that never fails to make me cry

A drawing I made for a (temporally paused) animatic for the au showing the voice actors down the names, I no longer talk to Frank's voice actor for that video as he sucks and I erased mines as well because it would look weird, I'm not showing the ones with the Swaped hatzgang (still choosing a name) because Radford is no longer swapped with Robert

A comic showing Ross being a good uncle

The sketch idea for the Happy fella Sad Guy show

Dexter commenting about Frank's weird eyes

So no hand

⬆️Why is Kevin naked

And some screenshot re draws

Thank God I changed Skid's design And almost every design for the matter

[ifangirlalot]

what finn’s characters are like during s3x? I FEEL WEIRD REQUESTING THIS BFISJSJSAJDJS

˗ˏˋ 𝐒𝐀𝐔𝐂𝐄 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐁𝐎𝐒𝐒 ˎˊ˗ | starring the fellas

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

~smut!~ [𝖜𝖆𝖗𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖌𝖘:] too many to pick out, just a shit ton of nsfw shit.

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

✧˚ finn ۫ ׅ ✧

Is he a top or bottom?

Well, it kind of depends on the day. Sometimes if he's feeling particularly stressed, he just wants to watch you ride him and praise him while getting his head rubbed. But if he's pissed off (or just bored), he wants to top. When he tops, you know you're probably not going to be in the same position for more than a couple minutes.

What are his favorite positions?

Finn likes missionary. He's an old fashioned guy who thinks eye contact is a private kind of intimacy. Doggy is definitely a hella close second though. He's a hair tugger, so it's a lot of fun to pull your head back by your hair while you're on your hands and knees in front of him getting impaled from behind.

How freaky is he?

Once again, it kinda depends on the day and the mood you catch him in. Being a celebrity, Finn's hella paranoid the second that zipper goes down an inch there's gonna be cameras all over the damn place, so public sex is a no-go. He'll fuck you anywhere in the house though. In fact, the bed is hardly ever an option. He loves shower sex and car sex, kitchen table sex ain't too shabby either. He has a thing for having his hair pulled and, as narcissistic as it may sound, he likes it when you call him by his characters' names. It gives him an excuse to change personas.

How noisy is he?

He doesn't have any loudass moans, but he has some breathy ones here and there. He groans more often than not. Occasionally he whimpers.

How long does he usually last?

About ten to fifteen minutes on a bad day and up to an hour on a good day. (Dude has almost spooky levels of self control.)

Protection or no?

Absolutely. He can't risk knocking you up right now.

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✧˚ miles ۫ ׅ ✧

Is he a top or bottom?

Top, all the way. He's somewhat controling and he also doesn't like sitting still for long, so he hardly ever lets you ride, as that would kind of give you the wheel and he's not about that. He likes to decide when you have sex, where you have sex, for how long, and in what position. He makes all the decisions, and you know. You're probably gonna be hella sore afterwards. Like hella sore. My man has hella high libido.

What are his favorite positions?

Miles has favorite positions that don't even have names, that's how fucking freakshit he is. He loves it to the side the most though, with his fingers wrapped around your ankle, holding it up, his grip usually pretty tight. His other hand is usually clamped over your mouth.

How freaky is he?

Miles is a FREAKSHIT. Most of the time, he twists you into positions that he's made up, and you know for damn sure he'd got an entire chest he keeps in his closet that he uses for "playtime". He's also maybe a tad bit creepy with the kinks that he has at times, but that's kind of to be expected. You knew what you were getting into when you agreed to be his girlfriend.

How noisy is he?

Not very. He lets out a few breathy groans here and there, but most of the time he's pretty quiet. It's kind of creepy, but also maybe a little bit attractive?

How long does he last?

As long as he wants to. It really depends on how horny he is, but averagely about thirty to forty-five minutes.

Protection or no?

Lmao, no. Good joke, though.

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✧˚ boris ۫ ׅ ✧

Is he a top or a bottom?

It depends on how high he is during the fucking. If he's sober or moderately high, he likes to be on top. But if he's balls to the walls high, he's a little bby and must be treated as the pillow prince that he is.

What are his favorite positions?

Doggy. At least for dom Boris. He likes to pound behind you with your hair wrapped around his fist like a horse rein. Preferably with a mirror in front of you so he can watch while he smokes. He's a lil freak thang. Subby Boris likes to be ridden because BOOOOOBS in his face.

How freaky is he?

Boris likes public humiliation, whether he be the one being humiliated or the one doing the humiliating. He also likes watching you touch yourself while he's forced to watch with his wrists tied to a bedframe (this is sub Boris, btw. Dom Boris wouldn't put up with it.) He also likes spanking (him spanking you, he doesn't like his ass being touched because he's a bitch.)

How noisy is he?

Extremely. My boy does not care if someone else is in the house. If he's getting pussy, PEOPLE WILL KNOW ABOUT IT.

How long does he last?

Again, it depends on how high he is. Dom Boris can last for twenty minutes, but with sub Boris you'll be lucky if it lasts more than like ten.

Protection or no?

Sometimes, yeah. But the other half of the time he lowkey forgets and you have to get him to smuggle in some Plan B from the store.

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✧˚ ziggy ۫ ׅ ✧

Is he a top or a bottom?

A top. A very messy, very cocky top. It's kinda funny how confident he is in his abilities. He is also a bottom. Pet his hair and watch him whine, I dare you.

What are his favorite positions?

He likes to go down on you. Albeit, he's very good at it, but he also a sloppy thruster. But at the same time, it kinda adds to the experience because somehow he manages to hit the right spots with every pound. Plus, look at him up there with his little gold chain. He's so cute.

How freaky is he?

Ziggy may be an awkward teenager on the streets, but he's a freak in the sheets. He has this fantasy where he really wants to record your sex so he can use it for tissue time later, but he's too much of a bitch to ask you. He's also hella good with his tongue, it's actually kind of surprising. Plus. You know. He look good as hell down there on his knees like the champ he is.

How noisy is he?

Lmao very. But only when he's actually having sex, if he's just beating it, he's pretty quiet. But during the real deal... Yeah, that loud ass moaning and swearing Evelyn hears from Zig's room is indeed her son getting to third base with a lady person.

How long does he last?

Thirty minutes tops for him. Not bad.

Protection or no?

Usually yeah, but for quickies he just pulls out and spills everywhere, which most of the time his mom finds because his stupid ass didn't clean up.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

[ A Note From Zee ]

Y'all, this took me way too long. I'm gonna have to split this into two part. Next part will include Trevor, Mike, and Richie.

[late-to-the-magnus-archives]

Vast!Jon AU - some contemplation for our poor boy

In which Jon is both horrified and intrigued by the photos he took of Elias.

In which Jon deeply regrets not kissing Martin.

In which Jon wonders what would have happened if he had.

--------

Jon stares at the photos he took of Elias.

Oh, they are… spooky.

Very good.

Very spooky.

Very confusing.

He knows these are precisely the kind of photos that get Tories ranting about decency, even though there is nothing indecent about them whatsoever.

Objectively, they’re just photos of a fit, average but handsome man, middle-aged, wearing a nice suit, mostly in three-quarters profile, smiling sidelong at the camera.

His tie is missing; the first two buttons of his shirt are undone, granting the barest hint of skin beneath, but still - this is really not indecent. These shots look like something that should go in the back flap of a book jacket.

It’s the eyes, though. It’s those eyes.

It’s something Jon could stare at all day and never name and never put a pin in, and he already knows no one else would be able to, either, if he showed these photos in public.

There is no way he’s ever going to.

They are the most exposing, indecent, piercing eyes anybody has ever seen on anything. Even in the gloom of his darkroom, they seem to rise from the baryta-coated paper like a weird VR illusion, penetrating, pushing into the mind, making one feel seen even as one sees.

So, they’re not good.

No - they’re great. These photos are stunning. Frightening. Gripping.

Once you start looking at the sequence, you have to keep flipping through.

Like with Mister Spider’s book. You have to keep looking.

Looking as this man turns slowly, his body angling one’s way by inches, his gaze going from pleasantly penetrating to coldly invasive (and one cannot blink), and then he looks down (relief, like closing an oven and cutting off the heat), only for him to lift his face, to look into the camera head-on, to watch from from under his dark lashes, no longer smiling, and this is worse, this is so much worse than anything ever seen.

One cannot look away for several moments after meeting the eyes in that last gray image.

Then the spell is complete, the viewer released - feeling exposed, relinquished, reentering the world changed and sullied and new.

What the fuck happened here?

Jon doesn’t know. He came, he saw, he photographed.

He had to. He’s never seen eyes like these.

He dearly hopes, deep down, that there are no other eyes like these.

It’s hard to put them away. Getting other people to see what he sees has been his primary motivation since was eight fucking years old, and this is a hell of a thing to witness. Gods, he’s glad he went monochrome. They’re so powerful, startling in contrast, somehow more real than real, more vivid than color.

Yeah, these have to go in the weird collection. He can’t publish these.

Though if he did, he’d call the collection, Expose You.

Then Jon realizes he’s been standing there, staring at photos he took, for an indeterminate amount of time, and finally shakes himself loose and leaves the darkroom.

So that was a thing.

He walks through the flat, not looking into anyone’s emptied rooms, making his way to the too-large-for-one kitchen.

Jon does know, now, what it’s all about. Why he has to see. Why he has to make others see.

He’s been feeding the damn Beholding his entire damn life.

Has it really done any harm, he asks himself?

That’s the thing, really. They keep telling him these are fear gods, but the Beholding seems to be… complicated?

Though Elias said it's not complicated at all, practically a muscle spasm - which is why he can’t reason with it or make a bargain with it or change how it works. It’s feed or be fed upon. Period.

Why was he chosen by this thing?

Was it his own ability, or did the eye pick him, and then give him the skill?

And what the fuck was up with the whole Web aspect?

“I hate spiders,” Jon mutters, because he does, always has, and why would he feel that way if the Web had marked him as young as Elias claims?

Maybe his own fear is what feeds that one, and he doesn’t have to worry about sacrificing anyone else.

That wasn’t Elias’ theory, though.

I have - in spite of pushback from certain quarters - been thinking for some time now that the connectedness of our modern world renders the old means of feeding one’s patron… ineffective, he’d said. The world doesn’t really function on siloed experiences anymore - and you, Jon, are proof of my theory. His eyes had gleamed as he’d said it. Here you are - the Web herself having proven my thought, hand-delivering you to us, alive and well.

Marked by the web, Elias said, to ensure this went right.

Marked by the Eye, Elias said, to create the form through which Jon would feed his gods.

Marked by the Vast, Elias said, to siphon off the kind of feeling Jon’s pictures would now create.

But Jon didn’t want to take just Vast pictures. 

He loved up-close pictures, too. And people pictures. Kissing pictures and war pictures. Food pictures and animal pictures. Glimpses of the sun just peeking above a green leaf and wrapping it in gold. Grassy fields captured just right so that every blade is a blur of motion so sweet it makes one feel the breeze, even as one is caught, trapped, by the few glass-sharp blades in focus and centered.

Does he have to take only Vast pictures, now?

Jon wipes his eyes. It all seems so… mean.

No, he doesn’t just have to take Vast pictures. Elias’ photos are proof of that.

The urge to publish them rises again, and he tamps it down.

You are the beginning of a new world, Elias had said, so pleased, like it was everything he’d ever wanted.

This will be a blast! Simon had said, aggravatingly chipper about the whole thing.

Jon already feels used, and it’s only been a few weeks since his accident.

Jon takes out his phone. Miss you. Hope you’re having a good day, he types to Martin.

Hesitates.

Deletes the first two words, then hits send.

There's no immediate response, but that’s okay. He knows Martin is trying to land the new baking gig, though he hadn't really explained what it was.

Jon wants to offer his flat again, but…

Living together would be complicated, now. Before he’d left for Tibet, they’d had... a moment.

It had caught Jon completely by surprise.

He knows - though Martin didn’t say it - that it had not caught Martin that way, at all.

Jon sees people. He knows how to read them.

He knows Martin wants him, and has since they were fourteen.

Jon doesn’t mind. It's never bothered him. But he had waited for years for his own desire to rise in answer, and it never had.

For anybody.

He does love Martin, above anyone else he’s ever known, but doesn’t that quiet, possibly absent desire mean he’d be dishonest by entering a relationship with him?

The night before flying out, they had gotten very drunk. 

Right here, in Jon’s flat, unwisely imbibing and laughing and watching bizarre 50s sci-fi movies for the practical effects and silliness, and they had been leaning into one another, and it had already been after midnight, and Jon would leave for the airport in two hours, and neither of them cared.

Leaning in, just cuddling as they had since they were six years old, and then - 

Someone’s hand went on someone’s thigh, and Jon actually can’t remember which because they were both doing it, and - 

And they were so close, unblinking, faces inches apart and breathing.

Flickering light from the laptop screen playing across both their faces, softening edges, wiping late-night tiredness and alcohol-flush, making Martin a miracle of beauty and perfection and passion.

And the desire on Martin’s face was so (epitome, the epitome of it all) lovely that if Jon could have told him to hold that pose and pull out his camera, he would.

Instead, he’d stayed still.

And almost…

He had almost kissed Martin Blackwood, right there, drunk, on his living room couch.

Was that desire? Not the way others felt it, he’s sure.

But it had been desire to kiss him.

To hold him.

To… declare, somehow.

Brand himself on Martin’s skin.

Press in close, and remove his clothes, and feel warmth to warmth and chest to chest and hip to hip and - 

Jon’s time to get up! alarm went off at that exact moment, and they’d blown away from each other as if exploded.

There was heavy breathing then, and gazes averted.

“I, uh,” is all that was ever said about it.

That was all.

Jon got up to finish packing, brush his teeth, take a shower.

Martin stayed until he got out.

A hug for good luck.

A promise to text.

A guarantee of dinner when he got back.

And Martin was gone.

Jon should have kissed him. He doesn’t know where it would have led, but that’s not the point.

Martin has dated. Jon has not.

Martin has made love. Jon has not.

Both of them know these things.

For the first time, Jon wonders if Martin knows he doesn’t experience desire the way other people do.

He wonders if Martin would… love him like that, anyway.

On impulse, Jon takes out his phone, and types, I miss you.

This time, he hits send.

He’s not worried at the lack of response. Martin will get back to him.

Martin always does.

Jon stows Elias’ pictures away in his weird drawer, and gets back to work preparing his gallery presentation: The Vast Experience: Life and Death Are Falling.

His stomach twists from both guilt and excitement. He knows people will be afraid, looking at these.

He also knows they’ll see what he saw.

He’s never photographed anything as perfect as these, and as he lays out photos and chooses the order and writes a caption for each, he knows he’s doomed.

He is growing to love that endless fall.

[astradis]

♡heyy can I have a stranger things match up? I would like to stick with the 4 main (Nancy, eddie, Robin, steve)

I'm a Gemini and you can use the name zillya.

in public I'm a kind of shy and more mean/mysterious looking person, but if you get to know me I'm more extroverted and I think I'm pretty funny, just an odd sense of humor (I'm more on the sarcastic side) I'm a very expressive person so when I talk I wave my hands around and make weird expressions to get my point across, and I'm also super bad at explaining things and kind of clumsy

I like to solve puzzles and read crime documentaries, I'm really into the paranormal and spooky fantasy shit. I listen to alot of screamo and thrash metal.

I have a dark brown wolfcut/80s rock cut/I cut it myself so idk. I'm like around 5'3 in height (pretty average for an asian teen) and a little chubby I have maybe 21 piercings in total (most are occupied), and a few tattoos. my style leans towards more grunge, or some form of street fashion with those mini Jean skirts and baby tees.

♡

abso-fucking-lutely without a doubt you’ve got

STEVE HARRINGTON

steve would love your personality so fucking much. he loves to hear your laugh and would make dumb jokes just to hear it. the expressiveness you have physically is more than attractive to him- it’s like, you get him. he gets you and you get him sort of thing. you would both go on rants about the paranormal with the occasional dustin popping in once in a while just because. your unique look would take him a bit to get used to but he LOVES IT. sometimes he compares you to an edgier version of eddie but you don’t mind. he would love to hear the stories behind each and every one of your piercings and tattoos, and don’t even mention the amount of clothes shopping visits he’d take you on once he finds a spot that suits you. he wants to be the greatest boyfriend to you that he possibly can- he won’t mess up again, not with you. there’s no way he can.

-

Steve looks up at you as you walk into the living room, VHS tape in hand and a walk of determination. You walk up to the player and try your best to figure out the mechanics of the thing without asking for help.

“Zil… What are you doing?” He asked, his voice reverberating in your mind when you finally get the tape in the player.

You turn with your hands on your hips to see his arms crossed against his chest as he slouches in the couch he sits on. “Check this out- Dustin said he was snooping around the Wheeler’s basement when Mike wasn’t there… Said he found this totally creepy tape and can’t explain what it is.”

“And here I was, thinking we were gonna have a nice movie night tonight,” Steve stifled out a laugh. He acted like he didn’t want to watch some creepy tape, but he knew he’d be willing to do anything as long as it was with you. You sat beside him and almost immediately his arm laid across the couch behind you to act as a cushion.

Turns out, it was just Holly messing around with Mrs. Wheeler’s video camera.

tysm for your submission!~ i love your style and personality so much you’re literally amazing and steve thinks so too

[creepypocky]

hellloooo may I request a matchup please? Both romantic and nsfw if that’s alright with you. Im bisexual, my pronouns are she/her, I’m an INTP virgo and I’m 5’8”. My style is constantly changing but I adore 70’s type fashion, I tend to wear a lot of jewelry like many rings, multiple necklaces, I adore collecting earrings and so on. I have five piercings and I absolutely want to get more!

My hobbies are definitely two totally different things: on one hand I love baking, I usually give the baked goods away because I actually don’t like sweets, and my other hobby is a little more on the weird side but I love finding people. I know that sounds a little spooky, but a lot of my family works in the government and my dream job is probably private investigator. I’m exceptionally good at finding people and things, and I love snooping around where I don’t belong. I’m super passionate about exploring abandoned buildings and while I’m average at photography I really enjoy taking pics of the places I explore.

My love language is definitely gifting people things and being able to just *exist* comfortably in the same space as others. I’m not very affectionate verbally or physically but I welcome people who are and I’m pretty used to it. I have a problem called I love arguing with people. It’s definitely a toxic trait but I love debating with others and I’m always expecting to come out on top. Of course playful banter is welcome too, a relationship wouldn’t really be healthy with constant arguing but I really appreciate people who can take teasing and dish it out just as well.

As for nsfw stuff: I definitely love being scared and just the kind of thrill that comes with being chased (I mean why else would I be here lol) I’m a switch leaning sub (tho if my partner was someone who’s submissive I could take control) and with my love for arguing definitely comes a more bratty side. I would love someone I can rile up and I love being bossed around. I don’t mind being roughed up a little bit, including manhandling and leaving marks.

Hello mortal~ :)

Hehe, I'll get to this <3 it took me a little bit to know who to match you with but I'm sure about this now. <3

|| I match you with: Jeff The Killer! ||

Hon, he thinks your jewelry is super cool and pretty and he will even buy you more jewelry without you even asking for it. Let this jackass spoil you. He loves to see your piercings and watch you get more, he thinks you just look so beautiful with them and will take you to get more if you ask him to. He won’t admit it but he mostly just adores the smile you have when getting them.

Pleaseeee, Jeff LOVES sweets. Bake all of the sweets you want for this man he will happily eat it all up, especially if it’s your baking. He just breathes in your essense as he practically drowns himself in the sweets you bake for him.

You like finding people? Babe, this guys job is literally to stalk and kill people. He is practically the KING of finding people aside from Hoodie and some of the other creeps. If you ever need help finding someone he’s got your back and will most definitely help you, otherwise he’ll just have fun watching you do it yourself.

Jeff is really a “fuck you” guy so he also snoops around where he doesn’t belong. Will do it even just to piss whoever told him not to off. But if you ever want to go investigate somewhere private and not allowed, he’ll definitely help you get in there and out without getting caught. Of all of the creeps, he’s basically the guy who can smuggle anyone in anywhere aside from in public because, well, his face isn’t exactly normal.

Jeff is also not the best at expressing his love or affection verbally, but he very much does love you. He’s just super aloof and/or awkward about love, but when you give him gifts he appreciates them a ton even if he doesn’t say it, he will cherish everything you give him. He also appreciates you being around him in general and is pretty good at taking signs, he understands you have feelings for him even if you don’t outright say it. He’s good at just pulling you against him though and holding you tight. He’s a lot better at physical affection than he is at verbal affection.

Broo, he loves arguing with people too and just debating. He can be the biggest asshole ever in an argument and will sometimes even just talk out of his ass and start making claims that make zero sense just for the sake of it, and will somehow win an argument with just that because of his way with words. Would probably have a harder time debating with you though.

He likes to tease you a lot and just be a dick in general, he wouldn’t ever go too far or hurt you seriously though. He loves you way too much to treat you like that. He will tell others that tease you to fuck off though because it’s like a, “Yeah no, only I’m allowed to fuck with her.”

NSFW:

Ooooo~

He will definitely chase you down, little lady. He has a bit of a fetish himself where he’ll just randomly make you his prey and will want to hunt you down, and when he catches you he can be ruthless.

He’s a bit of a dom but would sub for you if he was having a bad day or feeling depression/out of it. Otherwise, he’s definitely into topping you and putting you in your place. Likes that you’re a bit of a brat because he will most definitely force you into submission and will love it when you fight back, he’ll leave all kinds of marks on you and will hold you down and he rams his cock in you from behind.

He’ll manhandle you too, he’ll grab you by your neck and force you to stay still as he pounds into you. Will make you ride him, he’ll grip your hips and maybe even dig his nails in them as he forces you to bounce on his dick.

He will also call you names if he’s enough in the mood, if you’re being extra bratty will do all kinds of degrading names and will slap you around.~

He doesn’t know how he feels about aftercare, but once the deed is done he will light a cigarette and will lazily hold you against him. Maybe kiss your forehead and just whisper loving things to you if he’s tired enough and not paying attention to what he’s saying.

All in all, you’re precious to him. <3 Pls never leave or break his trust for you baby. <3

I hope you liked this, honey. :) Make sure to take good care of yourself and have an amazing day/night.

[trials-of-a-spirit-worker]

A Spooky Story for Spooky Season

About a couple months ago, my partner and I come and visit a friend up north in my state. She lives up in the mountains smack dab in forest area and is pretty isolated which puts us not at ease cause there’s no fucking signal up there! (Also we’re both Black and if you know why that's a concern you know what’s up) 

The town is very small and rural. One windy road up the mountains. Beautiful view during the day. We stayed with our friend for a bit before deciding to head home. It was pitch black out as well. Our friend has been trying to convince us to stay with her for the night the whole time, getting more frantic by the hour, especially after the sun went down. Unfortunately, we both knew there was no way in hell we could do that. So we had to go. Our friend was more distressed by our decision but walked us out anyway. 

So a little backstory on friendo here. She has her hands on some aztec (that’s what she claims it is anyway) war whistle. Why does she have it? I believe her parents had it first. Her, being an idiot, decided to fucking blow it multiple times. Which is why my partner and I visited her. To give her sage to burn and some protection and also scold her for blowing the damn thing in the first place. Before we had come by, the following day after she blew the whistle one time a dead deer showed up in front of her house, a bite taken out of the neck. 

Now, I don’t know about you dear reader, but that screams warning to me. Like, "don't blow that shit again or you'll end up like the deer" warning.

 So when we walked out and started saying our final goodbyes, when we hear a strange noise coming from the trees nearby the house. After that noise, the silence was deafening. As if nothing existed. Our friend looked at us and gave us a sheepish smile saying. “Thats why none of us come outside at night.”  Thanks hun.

Consider us incredibly freaked out at that point right? Then we hear leaves crunching and soft footsteps slowly coming to us. Immediately, Partner and I get in the car and lock it. Not having it today. Slowly, we make our way out and down the mountain again to head home. We notice the streetlights were pretty much off too at this point. It was as if the town as a whole just shut off. We couldn’t see houses make out any pointers anymore like when we came up here. Not to mention, we got lost on the way back down too. After a couple minutes and the grace of signal we were getting guided back down the mountain. Now because I hate tension, I tend to make light of what happened.

“Heh, watch something show up on the side of the road.” I snickered 

“Honey, no.” 

Me and my big mouth. On a turn, we reach a flat strip of land and see a man on the side of the road. He had a large traveling backpack like you would see people traveling around Europe with. He was a average sized man and what I noticed most about him was he had a red hat on. The ones with the ear flaps on the side for colder months. He was walking alongside the road, swinging a large stick at us as we passed by. Both of us saw him and when I looked into the side mirrors, I couldn’t find him or his large backpack anywhere. I found this kind of funny, my spouse, not so much. They give me a quick side glare and I decide to keep my mouth shut until we get back down to the base of the area where lights and restaurants are around us. 

We make it home safely and we talked about what happened. My spouse confesses that they ended up seeing two some eyes while we were coming down the mountain. One of which belonged maybe to a deer. What she saw behind the deer however, was much larger, they considered too large to be a prey type animal with eyes reflecting white.  Which was shortly before we saw the man with the stick. 

We talk to our friend about this and immediately she starts naming off the way the man looks. She was so amazed as we told her this and of course we were wondering why she was like this when we thought it was just a regular man. 

Turns out, he wasn’t a regular man in the slightest. Seeing him was not too uncommon with people who lived there, but no one knew who he is or where he came from. We haven’t gone back since. 

[chaneajoyyy]

Do you know any images that has plus size characters and Erik in them that I can read? I’m kind of new to the whole fan fics!

I sure do! 

PLUS SIZE CHARACTERS WITH ERIK FICS (UPDATED)

- how i feel, right now, animal, chains series, purple herbs & gardens, risks & new beginnings series, better with time, let’s play, without a doubt, sizzling pans & slow jams, misinterpretations, visions of gold, out business, come through and chill series, nights, slow burn, a siren’s allure, venom, the one, maybe they’re right, sore loser series, i’ll be alright, spooky cookies & vampire fangs, screams in the night series; knock, knock series; imagination, the cure series, poptart man series, this must be our song, conversation starter, heaven is a place on earth, twins?, say it, i’m there, his princess, his for the night, sugar baby series, authority series, baby shark, lemme try, take our time, say the word, sudden reunions series, memories of you, more ways than one, lemme try it again (that’s my face), not in budget, i would like to see it, pease mama bear, she likes me, guess what, times like these, tell me your secret series, he gets it from me, baby see baby do, see what had happened was, who me?, so relax, three kings of dreams, deck the b-…halls?, do it again, be quiet, you so crazy, how that sound?, you’re so handsome, sit still, leave me aloneee, don’t hide, or maybe, send it to mommy, but i’m sick.., you thought i wouldn’t find out, he’d make you his, ballet baba, ain’t that right?, he wasn’t having that, being honest, that’s all it took?, then stop ignoring me, since you can, but i thougth…, jealous, i won’t tell you again series, hit me, no reply, i’ve alway been, you sure?, no more tummy time, toss ‘em, you done now?, sing it baby, doped up, battle it out, for however long, bath time, bedtime stories, i’m sorry, was that so hard?, i owe you that, whatchu say?, hard headed, it should’ve been you, take our time series, baba’s day, whatever she wants, nope, can’t even look at you, not again, nose wide oen, just a bit longer, come on over to my place, fences & bullriders, right now, designated command strips,mr. telephone man series, autumn leaves & cookie thieves, one way or another, you ain’t hear that?, open up, better?, huh? nuh uh, cute enough to eat, she likes me- @supersizemeplz

- all erik fics and headcanons- @nahimjustfeelingit-writes

- all erik fics and headcanons- @eye-raq

- teach me series, when you’re mad series, waffles series, slow ride series, movie night series, let’s talk about sex series, mines, thunderstorm, girl fuck you, eat your breakfast seres (with eat your dinner), secret admirer, amusement park fun, displays of affection, night at the movie theaters, silent hearbeats series, kissing strangers series, worship, loving the way you love it, day drunk, smile for me daddy series, just like you, we goin to hell, breeding time- @thehomierobbstark

- late again, halloween party, imprint, a man in love, v.i.p (includes m/baku), daddy’s home, y’all again?, okay? okay, prisoner of love, family cookout, kiss, what’s cooking good looking, expecting headcanons, food headcanons, crying headcanons, nsfw headcanons, foot fetish series, halloween headcanons, lingerie headcanons, jealous headcanons, kevin’s  heart series, untitled series- @madamslayyy

-carnal stimulation series, next lifetime series, hoe ass erik series, dirty little secrets series, hennything is possible, sunday dinner series (with payback), a.d.i.d.a.s., green goddess, suddenly stevens, beauty is her name, it’s complicated. i’m sorry, the great reveal, neighbors know my name series (part 2 to @hearteyes-for-killmonger‘s story of the same name), the devil speaks xosha, mile high, trap card, act up, let me smell it, up late, i’ll take your man, carry on, dreams & nightmares- @goddessofthundathighs

- headass youtube couple series, fix my crown series (with ‘the puppy’), all skate, cutting ties series, #tsrbaewatch- @apantherinmypastlife

- all erik fics-  @wawakanda-btch

- all fics- @hearteyes-for-killmonger

- say my name series, beg for it, the coat room, charley horse, full court press, house party, boyfriend makeup challenge, gumby, the let out series, disorderly, token, all i wanted for christmas is you, hit the showers, neo, erica; veni, vidi, vici, i will be here, trick or treat, the wakandan boys when they’re sick (includes t’challa and m’baku- @sonofnjobu

- mine, unravel me series (includes belong to you), i missed you series (inlcudes you a’ight and if they ain’t looking), rated e, on braodway, no average bitch,  @brownsugarcocoabutterwildflowers (scroll for erik killmonger x reader and erik killmonger imagine)

- all tasting mellow fics- @tastingmellow

- laid up series- @pastelastronomy24

- come lay with me, house hunting series, stretch marks, the footbal jerseyy, you sure?- @marvelmaree

- the deal series, nuggest of truth, girlfriend, all i want is you, care for you- @wakandamama

- rated e for extra petty, elbow deep series- @puffmamaa

- she got game, where’s the smoke, s.d.m., from paris with love, where the hoes at? (with t’challa and m’baku), written all over your face, baby bump series (wit cuddle buddy,, and hc: chubby!erik trying old clothes), not in that way, here kitty kitty, computer blue series, chunk series- @ghostfacekill-monger

- all erik fics- @stripper-patrick

- he spills series (with t’chala and m’baku)- @captainsaveasmut

- i’m cleva series, do me baby (part 2 of @killmongersgurl‘s serieserik’s created a monste)-, @killmongerdispussy

- sorry he’s gone, mad issues series, curiosity happy weight- @curls-and-crosses

- nah baby i got you- @inxan-ity (scroll for erik killmonger)

- all fics- @writerbee-ffs

- paragone series- @dynastynoire

- all fics- @eriksjournal

- the sweetest taste series, late night drive- two of a kind series (includes ‘03 bonnie and clyde prequel), beyond the lights series, mad love series- @wakandaforeverwrites

- all erik fics and headcanons- @plussizeappreciationfics

-thanksgiving w/ mr. stevens and the udakus series (with valentine’s gumbo),  @mermaidchansons

- all erik fics- @muse-of-mbaku

- all fics- @eerythingisshaka

- all fics- @artisticestheticreads

- return the favor series,”you wake up to find your bed void of your sick boyfriend erik killmonger and you’re not very pleased- @taint3dvirgin

- a day at the beach with erik, prompt 19 “what’s cooking, good looking”, stay here tonight, greater purpose of chaos, sharing disney movies with erik, 90s disney movies with erik-  @hidden-treasures21

- new year’s surprise series- @thefantasyride

- for the love of money?, my first & his only, the big chop, braid my hair, short staffed, visiting hours- @bakarilennox

- insecure series, “erik x wakandan!reader where he says ‘you are your own perso. you are not mine. but i hope you will let me love you.”, sabotage, sweet like honey series- @erikslulbaby

- kissing strangers series- @halcyonscry

- baby bump series (with cuddle buddy, hc:chubby!erik trying on old clothes) (chubby!erik), chunk series, special delivery, here kitty kitty,  s.d.m., she got game, computer blue series, where’s the smoke, from paris with love, where the hoes at?, written all over your face, not in that way series- @ghostfacekill-monger

- not enough, a little insecure - @maybecoolwords

- french inhale series- @jewelofwakanda

***PLEASE HIT ME UP TO ADD STORIES***

[artificial-ascension]

I see stuff for "what would the Wammys kids be like as parents" but never "what would the Wammys kids parents be like" so here.

Wammys Kids Parents HCs

Mello

Mello's parents were in an arranged marriage because of the mafia families they were in

They actually really liked each other so they didn't mind the arranged marriage

They were actually in an arranged marriage because they were the oldest kids of two of the most powerful mafias in Russia and the leaders of those mobs wanted to join forces and did that by marrying their kids to each other

Mello's uncle didn't like how things were being run and broke the mafia in two and went to war with his brother (Mello's dad)

When Mello's parents realized they were going to have a kid they moved to England and put his aunt (on his Mother's side) in charge

Mello's parents kept him a secret to keep him safe

Mello has his dad's eyes and hair and his mother's complexion

He had both of their intelligence

Both of them were really smart and hella chaotic just like Mello

They cared for him as much as they could without look suspicious to their neighbors

When Mello was 4 they got found out by their rival mafia and were killed

Mello wondered off and ended up at Wammys house afterward

Mello's status as the heir to a massive mafia empire was how he rose to power in LA

Matt

Matt's mom got pregnant when she was 17

Her boyfriend left when he found out she was pregnant

She gave Matt away to her boyfriend's cousin because she didn't have the time or money to care for him because of college

Matt's named after his dad

His dad's cousin was super rich and had his own wife and tree bratty kids who didn't like Matt at all

The kids hated him so much they convinced their dad to get rid of Matt and they abandoned him in Winchester because he had family there

Matt's dad's cousin only took him in to look better than his ass of a cousin

Matt is the spitting image of his mother but has his dad's hair color

Matt's parents are still alive so technically he isn't an orphan

He has abandonment issues and separation anxiety from getting trown out so much though

His mom actually married and had some kids once she graduated and had a good job

She lowkey feels guilty for giving Matt away sometimes

Matt's dad is a hippy who lives in the back of his van and plays video games while coding for money

Matt probably has a fuck ton of half siblings from his dad being a man whore but it's not like he'll ever meet them

A

A's dad was an English sailor and his mom was a Spanish lighthouse keeper

They met in Spain and fell in love and went back to England to get married

His mom worked as a lighthouse keeper in Cornwall while his dad worked as a sailor

They had tree kids, A's older brother, A and A's little sister

A and his siblings spent most of their time with their mom but their dad spent all his time off from work with them

A's dad was very thinly built and honestly he looked like the basic anxious sad boy A with brown messy hair and freckles

Of course he was a sailor so he was actually pretty strong and hella brave

A's mom had dark skin, black curly hair and brown eyes with a much sturdier build

She was really sweet but was lowkey terrifying if you got on her bad side

A would be a perfect mix of both of them if he wasn't albino, but really aside from his lack of pigmentation he has a good mix of their facial features

A's dad taught A and his brother how to sail and took them on short sailing trips with him

He was going to take A's little sister when she was old enough but he died before he could

A's dad died at sea and only died because he stayed on the ship to make sure his whole crew got off when the ship sunk

A's mom taught him how to garden, fish, cook, camp, hunt and really live off the land in general

She died falling from her lighthouse in a bad storm

The fact that both A's parents died trying to help people inspired him to try and save people too

Which led to him trying to take up the position of L so he could solve cases and help people, which ultimately also led to his death

His brother became a Royal Navey admiral and his sister became a marine biologist later in life with A and their parents as their driving factors so at least that's nice

Beyond Birthday

B's parents were in a shinigami cult and technically B's dad is the shinigami Armona Justin Beyondormason but B never found out until his shinigami dad yoinked him out of Mu to tell him he's part shinigami and he forgot to tell him while he was alive (he didn't forget he just kept putting off until B fucking died) so we will discuss his leagal male guardian who died

B's parents owned a huge farm in Japan and taught B how to take care of animals and how to garden

A's mom had a personal garden of herbs and fruits and she used to teach B how to use herbal medicine and how to properly spice foods and most importantly how to make jam

B and his parents looked similar when he was little but he stopped looking like them when he got older

They all had slim builds, dark hair and pale skin and the only thing different was the eyes

B had shinigami eyes obviously and because he was part shinigami you could actually tell he had they eyes by looking at them

B could also turn them off (but he only acquired that skill later in life) and when he did his actual eye color was a dark brownish red

His eyes were also really wide like but not L wide just a bit less wide but still kinda weird

B's dad knew he wasn't B's real dad but he still tookcare of him and taught him things

B was homeschooled because 1. They wanted to indoctrinate him into their shinigami cult when he was young and 2. They didn't want the other kids or teachers commenting on his eyes

His dad was kinda boring and there wasn't anything cool about him, he was super average but he was good at farming and business I guess. Anyway if he had actually been B's dad I feel like B would also be really boring but more like the kind of boring of an abandoned building in the woods but there's nothing there and nothing cool or spooky happens

B's mom was way cooler, she taught B a bunch of old Japanese folk tales and legends and other cultural stuff. She also gave him plenty of history lessons about Japan and the surrounding area, really B just got educated on the entire history or Japan and it's culture and it fed his deep love and obsession with anime and manga when he was older

His mom's grandmother actually dressed up like a man Mulan style to fight in WW2 so he comes from a family of Japanese patriots so what would you expect

His mom taught him to defend himself too and she probably should have taught her husband because he died in a mugging

B's mom died in a freak train accident and B almost died but his shinigami ancestry have him a super human healing speed and endurance so he survived just barely

L

L's mom was a prostitute who got pregnant by one of her customers

She died of tuberculosis when L was six months old

She looked a lot like L with wild black hair, pale skin, no meat on her bones and wide, grey, eyes

L's dad was just some rich guy cheating on his wife and L looked nothing like him

L's mom lived with her brother above his bakery and L continued to love there until he was 6 and his uncle tried to kill him after getting drunk

Near

Near got put on the staircase of Wammys house in a basket when he was little so no one knew his parents

Near's parents were really weird hermits that owned a toy store and yes all their stuff was definitely cursed

They were both very quiet but they were actually pretty nice they just acted very strange

The both of them were black and Near dose have their body types and facial features and just like A, he looks a lot like both of them he just lacks pigmentation because he's albino

Unlike A he does have his parents grey eyes because Near doesn't have ocular albinism

They decided to leave Near on the door step of Wammys House because...?

They just did

For some reason they decided on an orphanage way away, it was probably some weird choice they made because I don't the the fog told them but hey they inadvertently caused the death of a mass murderer 18 years later

Near's parents are still alive and living in their little store and Near actually tracks them down after a bit and hangs out with them and buys their toys

Near's parents also have two more kids and Near likes to hang out with them and help you younger siblings in their classes

[almaasi]

3 million words fic rec (Destiel)

I’ve officially posted 3 million words on my AO3 account!!

Here’s all 115 of my Dean/Cas fics (as of December 30th 2019). They currently make up 85% of my total fics. I posted 42 fics this year, with a new Destiel fic once every 2 weeks on average, with 24 total.

(The rest, as of the last 6 months, are Crowley/Azriaphale (Good Omens) and Garak/Bashir (Star Trek: Deep Space Nine). There’s separate fic recs for those. And here’s one Cockles fic.)

Fics listed by year (newest first), then by word count (shortest first).

--

2019

Just a Sniffle (2k / canon, Cas has a cold, Dean gives him a foot rub)

Hanukkahn't Resist You (2k, AU, teacher!Dean gives autistic Jewish teacher!Cas a Hanukkah greeting card containing a pickup line)

Brothers Don't Do That (3k / canon, Cas talks to Sam about how their feelings for Dean differ while ordering take-out)

Taste the Rainbow (In the Rain) (4k / AU, strangers sharing Skittles in the rain and kissing to help Dean quit smoking)

Hit Pause Kitty Claws (4k / AU, Team Free Will are cats belonging to Death!Billie, soft fluff and feline antics)

Weird But Confident (5k / canon, Cas finds Dean’s panties in his bag and thinks Dean slept with a woman)

Enemies Closer (5k / teachers AU, Dean keyed the wrong car, Cas runs AV club and Dean joins him so he has an alibi for his crime)

Snugglebird (5k / canon, Dean’s clothes are going missing, Cas is building a nest

Texted My Ex and Got You Instead (6k, AU, title explains it, fluff, asexual!Cas)

The Angel Cake Challenge (8k / canon crossover with Good Omens (book), Dean tells Crowley & Aziraphale they’re a cute couple and they encourage him to make a move on Cas)

Let's Play Doctors (8k / canon, smut, Dean asks Cas for medical roleplay and they use the machines to watch themselves have first-time sex)

Good For You (11k / canon, Dean teaches Cas to masturbate over the phone, then shows him properly in person)

BFBF (Best Friend's Boyfriend) (11k / AU, ft. Eileen - Cas has an absent bisexual boyfriend named Dean, Sam has an absent straight brother named Dean, oops they’re the same Dean)

Dean and Castiel's Lagoon of Love (12k, canon, Cas is cursed with tentacles and that’s Dean’s kink, they roleplay Dean’s favourite anime, smut and feelings)

Measure of Thigh Love (14k / canon, Dean is turned on by big muscles, Cas has some of those. smut, bottom!Cas)

Eleven Erogenous Zones of a Fallen Angel (15k / canon, Cas accidentally has physical wings and he hates them, Dean bathes and grooms Cas to soothe him, wing kink smut)

Two Heart Pose (17k / AU, overwhelmed papa!Dean, yoga instructor!Cas helps out with baby care)

Through the Lace (18k / office romance AU, desperation & pee kink smut, Dean in panties)

Sycamore Smile (18k / AU, professor!Cas, barista!Dean with a pet bunny, both are a hot mess, Dean helps Cas KonMari his life, ft. the purest fluff and sunshine)

Circuitry and Dust (23k / AU, demiromantic antique dealer!Cas, gaming lounge owner!Dean, Cas wrongly assumes his love is unrequited so helps set Dean up with an ex-girlfriend)

He's Kind of a Hairy Fairy (24k / AU, Team Free Will & co. running a summer camp, there’s only one bed in Dean & Cas’ cabin, Rowena curses Dean with fairy wings and he has to confess his feelings to get rid of them)

First and Only (35k / AU, Dean bets Sam he can have more sex in one year, Dean & Cas become fuck buddies, but Dean wants more so asks Charlie for help)

☆ Sleigh ☆ (46k / Christmas AU, makeup artist!Cas also works for Santa, Dean tags along delivering gifts on Christmas Eve, later a long distance relationship and eventual smut)

He's a (Zoo) Keeper (74k / AU, when zookeeper!Dean isn’t dating anyone, he and beekeeper!Cas have a BFF-roommates-with-benefits thing, but then Cas becomes a wedding planner and plans their fake wedding, drama with smut and feelings)

2018

Gulls N’ Roses (2k / canon, Dean hands Cas a rose, Cas interprets it as romantic)

Lost Night (2k / canon, Dean has nightmares, Cas dreamwalks to help)

He Called Me Honey (3k / canon, breakfast fluff, Dean dreamed he kissed Cas, talks to Sam, Cas shows up)

Note to Self: Cas Loves You (3k / canon, very drunk!Dean, Cas confesses his love)

I’m Dreamin’ of a Grey Christmas (4k / canon, Team Free Will 2.0 snow fight, Cas has some new grey hair, Dean has hearteyes, season 14 divergent)

Dry in the Downpour (5k / Pixar-short-inspired AU, umbrella-sharing)

Prince of the Ether Realms (5k / canon - season 13, must get married for a spell, Sam officiates)

Never or Forever (5k, canon, family dinner, Jody POV)

Without Further Ado (5k, canon, Dean has a list of “reasons not to be with Cas" but they’re all irrelevant now)

Wee Little Love Child (10k / canon, de-aged!Sam thinks Dean and Cas are his parents, gets them together)

Room for Two (The Mattress AU) (14k / college roommates AU, autistic!Cas, fake relationship, ALL the bed-sharing tropes)

Paramour by Post (18k / historical-ish AU, mail delivered to the wrong address, love letters, agender!Cas, bisexual!Dean)

Barbershop Duet (22k / Christmas AU, smut, shaving kink, domesticity, family gatherings)

The House That Wanted to Be a Garden (32k / AU, famous musician!Dean, gardener!Cas, fairies, accidentally moving in)

Duck Duck Boots (92k / ex-daredevil kindergarten teacher!Dean, agoraphobic Cas, small town magic realism & fate AU, looking after ducklings together)

2017

Unconditional (2k / canon - season 13, Dean explains why he loves Cas)

Mostly in Silence (4k / canon, Cas is depressed, Dean helps with self-care)

Restaurant Revelations (4k / canon, Dean and Cas tell Sam they’re engaged)

Whoa There Cowboy (5k / canon, cowboy-kink smut, porn-watching, magic fingers bed)

Pretty Panties and the Pool Shark (6k / kid!fic AU, autistic!Cas is scared of an imaginary shark in the school pool)

Purple Horse in a Coffee Shop (8k / ultimate office romance, pride parade, coffee shop AU)

Lucid Nightmare (10k / siren!Cas AU, dreamwalk-or-die, spooky fluff)

Stumble and Fall (20k / Team Free Will as dogs AU, search-and-rescue adventure, fluff & pining)

A Place and A Feeling (24k / AU, real estate agent!Cas, Dean looking for a house)

Night Exhibition (26k / AU, security guard!Cas at museum at night, friends to lovers, sex everywhere)

The Emporium of Christmas Enchantments (28k / Christmas, magic toyshop AU, kind of like a Disney movie)

Marshmalloween (33k / Halloween AU, Dean takes Sam’s teen friends to a haunted swamp, meet old bestie Cas, ghost adventures)

Our Garden Home (36k / everyone is a garden fairy, AU disabled autistic!Cas, found families)

The Wireless (58k / solarpunk carnival adventure AU, famous hunter!Dean, famous radio presenter angel!Cas, tent sex)

What We Ache For (93k / sex worker!Cas AU, Dean wants to make love, trauma recovery, Team Free Will & found families, a dog)

2016

Fight and Fool Around (5k / AU, bartender!Cas, Dean realises he’s bisexual, alleyway smut)

Tickle Fight Wasteland (5k / AU, fluff in a post-apocalyptic world, everyone is alive, tickle fight & cuddling)

Raising Hell in a Hotel (29k / kid!fic, living in a hotel AU, friendship, pining)

Welcome All Winchesters (60k / AU, snowy Christmas cabin, fake relationship, friends to lovers)

The Moonlighter and the Magician (67k / 1920s historical AU, asexual jewel thief!Cas, bisexual!Dean, running away together)

2015

What’s a Hickey? (1k / canon, Cas has a hickey, talks to Sam about it)

A Postcard for Castiel (4k / AU, kid!fic, autistic!Cas exchanges compliments with Dean, teacher!Charlie)

Symbols of Affection (4k / canon, Dean accidentally texts Cas a kissy-face emoji)

In Which Dean Frogs Up (6k / canon, Dean’s turned into frog in Moondoor, needs true love’s kiss to fix)

The One Where You Are A Guinea Pig (8k / canon, title says it all, Cas takes you to the bunker, Team Free Will interact)

We’re the New Romantics (8k / gifted & talented high school camp AU, aromantic!Cas, pop culture geek!Dean)

Waiting For That Final Moment (8k / AU, Cas interrupts Dean & Lisa’s wedding at a roller rink to declare his love, polyamory)

Delirium and Doctor Sexy (9k / canon, bisexual!Dean high on magical gas, thinks Cas is Dr. Sexy)

#ThankYouSammy (9k / canon, Sam prepares a Valentine’s Day dinner-date for Dean & Cas)

Dean Winchester the Puppydog (10k / canon, puppy play, submissive!Dean, hurt/comfort, non-sexual)

Father Material (12k / AU, asexual uncle!Cas, babysitter!Dean, kid!Claire, romantic attraction)

The Tailor of Fairy Ridge (17k / fairytale AU, tailor!Cas, fairy!Dean helps with clothing designs, good witch!Charlie, evil witch!Rowena)

Take You To The Country (18k / 1920s historical AU, pining, Dean reads an elopement proposal in the newspaper and realises it’s for him, running away together)

Sharing the Rain Dog (19k / AU, musician!Dean, FBI agent!Cas, sharing custody of a dog, have to move in to look after her)

Drop Anchor (42k / pirate!Cas, sailor!Dean, trapped on a deserted island and accidentally achieve domestic bliss AU)

Snow Place Like Home (But My Home Is With You) (47k / canon, Team Free Will in a B&B over Christmas, softness, smut & domesticity)

Held in Your Tender Hands (59k / AU, agender tattooed masseur!Cas, customer!Dean, workplace sex, paintball, found families, somnophilia)

2014

Cheek on Your Shoulder (1k / canon, Dean misses Cas, hugs him and can’t let go)

The Literal Bear Hug (1k / canon, Cas is accidentally a bear, cuddling)

If I Fall For You (2k / canon, Hannah likes Cas but Cas loves Dean)

If You Could Go Anywhere (3k / canon, Team Free Will ponder: all the drama is over, so what now?)

Cherry Pink Wedding (4k / AU, Dean & Cas both cry at Sam’s wedding)

Lettuce Share This Moment (4k / canon, Dean secretly likes salad… and Cas)

The Joke Is on You (And So Is Castiel) (4k / canon, April Fool’s Day, Cas pranks Dean & Sam when they pray for him)

Some People Would Call This Romantic (5k / canon, Dean and Cas take a long walk on the beach)

Panic Kiss (5k / AU, Dean has a panic attack, Cas calms him down, accidental kissing)

Boutique du Ballet (6k / canon, Dean loves ballet and wants to try the outfits - either crossdressing or trans-curious!Dean)

Minty Fresh Kisses (7k / canon, Dean teaches Cas to brush his teeth)

Sexier Than Doctor Sexy (8k / AU, doctor!Cas, Dean gets a prostate exam and enjoys it more than he should)

Sam Accidentally Sees the Whole Picture (10k / canon, smut, Sam is in the room while Dean & Cas do it for the first time, Sam POV)

Understanding Your Body in Ten Easy Steps (12k / canon, smut, Dean teaches Cas how to masturbate)

Roost (12k / AU, Dean and Cas are rescued fighting roosters, for some reason not that interested in girl chickens)

Dead Body Disposal 101 (14k / canon, angel!Cas wants to be a hunter so Dean & Sam show him how, Dean & Cas are bad at expressing feelings)

Of Shampoo and Fruit Flies (17k / roommate AU, autistic!Cas, confessing feelings surrounded by supportive friends)

Love Him in His Sleep (Love Him Always) (32k / canon, Dean has wet dreams about being cuddled, Cas is into somophilia and dreamwalks to gain consent)

Preacher Comfort (42k / AU, hurt/comfort, asexual preacher!Cas, nurse!Dean, hugs & cuddling, Halloween)

Nine Times We Met (And One Christmas We Parted) (58k / queer historical romantic angst AU, teacher!Cas, firefighter!Dean, meeting over the years & falling in love)

Hart of the Storm (119k / historical AU, hunter!Dean turned into a deer by shapeshifting god!Cas, magic forest)

2013

For a Scarf in October (1k / canon, Halloween, Dean wants to buy a ~women’s~ scarf, Sam tells him it’s okay)

Of All the Bars in the World (There Are None Between Us) (2k / prison AU, Dean and Cas are cellmates, discuss past and future intimacy)

Dean’s List (3k / canon, Dean writes a list of men he’d ~go gay~ for, Sam has a suggestion to make, bisexual!Dean)

Nobody’s Daddy (3k / canon, accidental baby acquisition, Dean breastfeeds, then Cas arrives with actual milk)

Foal Delivery Service (4k / AU fusion with ‘My Little Pony’ - kid pony!Dean finds out how heteronormative the world is, then meets agender pony!Cas, later have baby ponies together)

Winchester’s Rouge (6k / canon, angst, Dean tries on makeup and remembers his mother)

Manscaping (6k / canon, Cas cuts himself shaving his junk, Dean does first aid, boners)

Sharing Hands (6k / canon - season 8, smut, Cas is possessing Dean, masturbate together)

Play Nice, Kids (10k / AU or alternate canon, reverse-verse, angel winged!Dean, wing kink masturbation, sex toys)

Hello Night (11k / historical AU, demon possessing Dean, priest!Cas, crossroads sex to save Dean, Cas/demon & Cas/Dean)

Shadows Across the Camera Lens (13k / AU, smut, dominant bottom photographer!Cas, submissive top crossdressing underwear model!Dean)

Faerie Strange Circumstances (30k / AU hunters, fairy!Cas, fairy realm adventures, Bobby’s house, Charlie, Jody)

Bad Things With You (31k / AU or alternate canon, smut, catboy!Dean, catboy!Cas, mating urges, biting, licking, fake relationship is actually real)

Cowboys and Real Estate Angels (36k / AU, bisexual retired musician cowboy!Dean, old fan!Cas, lovemaking, falling in love in one night)

Try-Something Tuesday (48k / my most popular fic of all time, teacher!Dean, librarian teacher!Cas, smut in strange places, school trips, moving in together AU)

The Feline Perspective of a Guilty Conscience (51k / canon divergent - season 9, hurt/comfort, Dean transformed into a cat, sad angel!Cas, Team Free Will, forgiveness)

Foxfire Blossom (283k / AU, florist!Dean, rich!Cas, affairs, soap opera-level drama, sex, highly problematic lies, and cheating, ALL the characters)

2012

Angelhawke (407k / epic medieval fantasy AU, Dean and Cas are cursed to be animals in the day/night, travel with Sam and Bobby as they tell their story in flashbacks, quest to be together, based on ‘Ladyhawke’ but ~70% original story)

--

New fics are on their way in 2020! 

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☆ And you can support my writing, art, and other creative projects here~

Thank you all so much for supporting me all these years. I’m so excited to see what I end up writing next~!! ♥

Elmie x

[that-house]

Hey so I hit 100 followers today!

Buckle up, this is gonna be a LOOOONG post.

I quite honestly expected it (while my ego is a little smaller than my jokes make it out to be it is definitely present), I didn’t expect it to happen so fast.

It’s not an insane milestone, plenty of people have 100 followers. A hefty portion of my followers are bigger than me. But it’s still important to me. Knowing that there’s 100 people out there who enjoy my shit makes me happy.

First and foremost the credit quite honestly has to go to ahegao George Washington. No, I’m not joking. Until I posted on r/tumblr about my desire to draw that, I had 0 followers. I jumped to like 10 overnight, which was awesome. And then those new followers helped me spread my posts and get more attention.

Secondly I’d like to shoutout @imaverysadgirl and @themeaninglessjumble. You two were my first real tumblr frens. You were the first of my followers to really interact with me. Ember, I’m super happy you’re alive to see me hit 100 followers. Jumble (I don’t know your name unless I forgot it), your art and creations are great and you deserve way more attention.

To all the rest of you, you guys are great, too. Every new follower makes me happy. I’d say I don’t deserve you all, but my colossal ego says I do. Regardless, being nemesi and getting called out for being horny on main and sending and receiving asks has made this last month or so great.

Finally, for all the shit it gets, and for all the shit it pulls, [tumblr] really is pretty dope. I got to meet you all, and it’s actively making me a better person by exposing me to groups of people I’d rarely interact with in real life.

Why does it feel like I’m saying goodbye? I’m not, don’t worry. I plan to stay, and neither death nor pain shall drive me from this hellsite. I’m just saying thanks.

Now with the thanks out of the way, I want to talk about myself a little. Just the stuff that I’ve always wanted to say and never quite gathered my thoughts and found the time to talk about.

You’re gonna get to know me so well! This is like a mini autobiography!

First off, my mental health. This is something I don’t talk about much on this blog, mostly because it doesn’t need much talking about. I’m doing pretty well, to be honest. I have a smattering of anxiety and I’m maybe a little too introverted for my own good, but I’m not suffering from depression and the only time I ever even remotely considered suicide was when I just really really didn’t want to go to French class. COVID has been great for me, since I don’t have to see people. I suppose I’m not a great person to talk to if you’re struggling with depression or suicidal thoughts, seeing as I can’t personally relate, but I’m still always here for you guys if you need me. Just because I haven’t lived through your experiences doesn’t mean I can’t try to help.

Next up I want to talk about my sexuality. This one’s a bit of a mystery. For the past 16 years of my life I’ve considered myself 100% straight. But lately (let’s be honest, following the release of Spirit Blossom Thresh) I’ve been wondering if I might be bi. How many times can I joke about wanting to smash sexy boys before it’s not really a joke anymore? And if I am, a lot of things would suddenly make a lot of sense. But every time I think I have it figured out it suddenly feels like I have no clue what’s going on. Regardless, my sexuality has honestly never been a massive part of my identity (though I’m definitely not asexual, my friends can attest I’m far too horny for that). I have no clue if I’m bi and for now it’s kind of a fun little adventure!

I guess I’ll talk about school and stuff now. Believe it or not, I’m kinda smart. I’m taking a shitton of AP courses this year. But I simultaneously feel like it’s too much and not enough. I’m smart, but I’m not a great student. Compared to my dad, who graduated college with a 3.98 GPA (and his only B being in History of Canada as an American) and now has a super well-paying government STEM job that he loves, I feel like even if I work my ass off I’ll never quite measure up. And my parents have had super high expectations of me, and it’s only recently that they’ve started to accept that I might get some B’s here and there. I’m worried about all the homework this year. I’m a year ahead in Math but I don’t feel good enough at math to be taking AP calculus junior year. I’m worried I’m going to get like a C. But for the most part school is alright, too. That’s sort of the trend in my life. Everything’s alright.

Time to talk about my love life! I have no love life! I’ve been single for 17 years and probably stand no chance of changing that until at least college! Haha I’m so alone! But I can live with it. Growing up an only child with a few friends means that I’m pretty good at functioning without a ton of social interaction, and, while I’d like a partner someday, I’m not desperate. I can wait until I find someone. Pretty much my goal is not to die alone.

Onto sports maybe? I played soccer for most of my life, and was always the worst player on the select team. I was too good for the normal team and not good enough for the select team (kinda like math). Soccer was really toxic, especially when you’re the worst player on a team of high school jock drug addict boys. So I quit, and started playing frisbee! It’s a lot better. The people are nicer! But my first season never happened because of COVID and now I’m in my Junior year and haven’t played much frisbee! So I kinda suck! But I’m physically fit and that’s good enough for me! On my own time I bike and run to stay in shape.

Are you still with me? Now I’m gonna talk about my hobbies and things!

I’ve been playing video games for a long time. I kinda suck at them to be totally honest. I probably have below-average reaction time, and my parents only let me play 15 minutes a day for most of my childhood, so I have a lot less practice than most of my friends. I’m pretty slick with Swain in LoL tho.

This next part is borderline shameless self-promotion, but since the Kickstarter isn’t live yet I guess it doesn’t count. I’m making a tabletop role playing game! I’ve been working on it for the past few years. My goal is to launch the Kickstarter prior to my college applications, because that’ll look sexy as fuck to potential colleges. It’s a post-apocalyptic sci-fi game where you play as supersoldiers trying to reconquer the wastelands of Earth for humanity. I’ll do a big post on it when I launch the Kickstarter, and I guess that’ll also be a full name reveal (kinda spooky since my full name is ENTIRELY unique and one-of-a-kind. More ego boost lmao).

And finally I want to talk about my art and writing. I’ll start with my drawing, and finish off with my writing, since that’s what I’d most like to be known for on here (but that’ll never happen because my caveman brain shitposts are too funny).

So I’ve been doodling for a long time. I briefly got formal art training but sacrificing my Saturday mornings to draw what someone else wanted me to make so that I could make better stuff in the future didn’t appeal to my 8-year-old brain. I draw in the margins of worksheets. I draw on random sheets of paper. Recently my parents bought me a drawing tablet, and I’ve been trying to improve at digital art. I’d say I’m getting better, but I don’t practice nearly enough. All in all my art serves its purpose. It makes people laugh and can sometimes creep people out. It’ll never go in a museum, and I’ll never make money off of it but whatever.

And finally, my writing.

How can I talk about writing without talking about reading? I’ve likely read more books than both my parents combined, and if not, it’s close (and my mom is a prolific reader too). I have three bookshelves in my room and books on every surface. You can’t follow me for long without seeing a post ranting about my latest read. I love to read and I read incredibly fast. Reading spurred my love of English class, which in turn helped me write.

And finally, we get to writing in and of itself. I’ve been writing stories since I was a little kid. I’d like to think I’ve improved a fair bit. I’m still no novelist, but I consider myself a fairly adept short story writer.

But I suppose where my writing really stems from is my bed. Every night while I’m lying in bed, I tell myself stories until I fall asleep. I work on a story until it’s done or until I get bored of it. Along the way, in the shower, on my bike, I build the world of the story, crafting the plot. Sometimes the stories are elaborate fanfictions of my latest reads. That’s probably how they started. Often, they’re unique worlds all of their own. My current writing posts are about the City of Mammon, but my current story in my head is about some vampires who hunt other vampires in Victorian England.

And now we get into the process of writing. It’s fun! I sit myself down with an idea in my head, and use all the fancy words I picked up from my books to convey the vibes I want. I honestly wouldn’t be a great writing teacher. It’s just a skill that comes naturally to me as a result of what I’ve been doing with my free time my whole life. And it’s beautiful. And every time someone compliments my writing or reblogs it, I love writing just a little bit more.

Well I guess this is it. The 100 follower special. I wonder how many of you guys will take the time out of your day to read this. Hopefully a lot!

James (or That House) signing off for the night!

<3 thanks guys

[popculturebuffet]

Scooby Doo (2002) Review: The Most Punchable Fred Jones of All Time

It’s one last hurrah for Halloween as I take a look at the often derided 2002 Scooby Doo Movie! See what happens when you combine future superstar director James Gunn with .. the guy who thought directing the Smurf’s movie and Big’s Mama’s House were good ideas. Oh and with a splash of the guy who wrote the loveable family film Cheaper by the Dozen and the utterly loathed Percy Jackson film. It’s as messy as you’d expect with that.. but is it BAD? good, so bad it’s good, just sorta okay? Come with me as I try to find out under the cut with a full review. 

I’ve always loved Scooby Doo. I grew up with the guy, watching reruns of the non-scrappy classic series from Where Are You to the Scooby Doo Movies, the three Superstar 10 movies (Boo Brothers, Ghoul School and Reluctant Werewolf), or the at the time brand new What’s New Scooby Doo. And later in life i’d absolutely adore Mystery Incorporated.. minus the whole Shaggy, Scooby Velma love triangle, but i’ll likely cover that at some point or sooner, you can comission reviews from me for 5 bucks each, 5 dollars off group orders if you really want to make me suffer through that that bad. But getting off self promotion point is I loved and still love the franchise. While I”ve yet to see “Scooby Doo and Guess Who”, though given there’s Weird Al, Kristan Schaal and Urkel episodes you can be sure i’m going to eventually, and Scoob was VERY ehhh even if Dick Dastardly was awesome. But despite my history with the great dane much like with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, despite my rich history with the franchise I haven’t dove in yet and with a friend who could use a nice halloween suprise and loves scooby doo, I figured now was the time to take a look at it.  And since i’d been wanting to take a look at it again anyway, and decided going big wasn’t a bad way to start, i’m taking a look at the 2002 Scooby Doo movie. I saw this flim first run in a drive in, and saw the sequel the same way and loved it as a kid, and fondly remember checking out the Sountrack Preview page back before youtube existed to make checking out soundtracks easier. It was a simplier time. And even rewatching it later with my nieces, I found myself liking it.  And the thing was almost every time this film comes up it’s with a turned up nose. The CGI, the confused audience, the deciding to cast Freddy Prinze Junior.. all terrible decisions that overshadow the film, when it’s not that bad. It’s not GREAT, but it’s not TERRIBLE either. So what is it then? Well i’ll tells ya. Let’s start with

PRODUCTION: Wait James Gunn Wrote This?

At the turn of the millneium Scooby Doo was back on top. After waning popularity during the Scrappy era, the advent of the warner affilated Cartoon Network meant a whole new generation of kids (raises hand) got to experince Scooby Doo for the first time. This new audeince lead to Scooby Doo on Zombie Island, the first of the franchises 80 or so DTV movies that will continue on long after the earth dies, and brought back the franchise after it’s long slumber. Scooby Doo went from dead to as popular as he was in his hey day again. Naturally Warner wanted to cash in and thus this movie was born.  Originally the film was supposed to be a more adult project, a send up of the franchise with more sex jokes and what not than made the final cut according to writer James Gunn. Yes, the same James Gunn who wrote and directed the Guardians of the Galaxy movie and whose currently saving the suicide squad. It was one of Gunn’s earlier films but just from when he’s talked about it, you can tell he genuinely cared about the project.  Along for the ride with our future Guardian was his co-writer, Craig Titely,  who i’m convinced only came in to do punch ups as the guy has only written three other movies. One of them was being one of MANY writers on Cheaper by the Dozen and thus likely not doing much of note with that, and the other.. is being the only writer on Percy Jackson: The Lightning Thief’s movie adaptation.. aka the movie the fanbase and general audiences rejected in droves yet SOMEHOW got a sequel. Which is somehow still worse than his other film, one that asks “was the moon landing a hoax?” Spoilers, it wasn’t. Point is this isn’t a resume that screams co creator and more screams “Guy brought in to kid freindly this up”. More on that in a minute.  The director is another less than reassuring face: Raja Gosnell, whose credits BEFORE this film were Home Alone 3, Never Been Kissed and Big Momma’s house.. so already he dosen’t have the best track record but somehow got worse because AFTER this film and it’s sequel he directed both live action Smurfs Movies and the universally hated Show Dogs, aka the film  that thought dog rape was funny. The fact this film isn’t out and out terrible is a miracle. 

Even more so because naturally, as Studios tend to do they interfered: The film was supposed to be more adult, cracking jokes about common things fans of the series growing up thought like Velma is Gay or Shaggy’s a stoner, and having both be fully true. But wanting to appeal to kids, Warner gradually lightned it, hence Craig, and Raja clearly having no shame gladly took it instead of you know.. standing his ground.  So Velma has a love intrest thrown in and her kiss with Daphne is gone, while Shaggy’s toke smoking was lowered to subtext.. because either of those things is bad apparently? I dunno the 2000′s were fucked. 

Point is THAT’S why these films are so tonally confused and why I don’t hold it agains the film now I know: It wasn’t James Gunn or even, as dumb as he is, Raja Gosnell’s fault that the film had some tones clashing when the studio was demanding it, instead of you know, thinking this through at all and realizing more kids cared about Scooby Doo than they would’ve josie and the pussy cats instead of bringing it up DURING production, when most of the adult stuff was in there. It’s also why the sequel has no real adult stuff, though it’s STILL damn good, but i’ll get to that some other day. 

The film was also shot at an actual theme park in australia. Neat. 

So yeah the film’s humor kind of ping pongs between knowing adult winks and kids stuff. We get Scooby dressing like a grandma in the same film shaggy enhales his demon possed love intrests breath like weed. The jokes themselves on average are pretty good: Some of my faviorites include the grandma scene, everything rowan atkinson does, Velma getting drunk off her ass, and the instructional video bit which is easily my favorite bit of the episode and one of my faviorite scooby doo jokes period:

This is even FUNNIER to me on rewatch, as we now know this is an instructional video for demons.. and that Scrappy clearly had enough problems with his demon horde to have to pay for this thing. It tis glorious.  However there also are also a few that HAVE NOT aged well, are very creepy at best and disgusting sexual assault at worst with Daphne getting her ass grabbed by the Luna Ghost at the start being treated as a joke and Fred oggling Daphne’s body when he’s in it being treated as a ha ha and not...

So yeah the humor’s USUALLY good, but the slipups are noticable and do bring things down a bit when they come by. So the humor is decent if mixed and the production’s a nightmare, how’s the plot? The Plot: Scoob, We’re Getting the Band Back Together!

I won’t be as through as usual because this is a 90 minute movie, I’m running behind as is and it’s 20 years old, 

We start with your standard mystery inc case with the Luna Goose, aka Old Man Incel who resented Pamela Anderson for not boning him. But Fred hogging the glory during the resulting News Cast leads the gang to start fighting over lingering tensions: Velma is tired of Fred hogging all the credit when she does most of the legwork solving things, Daphne is tired of being kidnapped and being mistreated by Velma and Freddy who laugh at the idea of her doing more, and Fred..

We’ll get to him later. Shaggy is the only one wanting to stick together, but no one’s having it and the group breaks apart and Matthew LIllard REALLY sells Shaggy’s heartbreak over his friends all abandoning him well. 

Two years later though, with Shaggy and Scooby naturally getting stoned and eating large quantities of food on the beach, have made peace with retirement, and have apparently had to duck tons of people coming to them to solve mysteries since they aren’t about that. The latest in that line is a man representing Emile Mondovarius, the owner of Spooky Island, a vast island resort and theme park. Naturally since it has spooky in the name the boys want nothing but Mondovarius does what honestly every previous guy coming to them should’ve done: offers them an all you can eat buffet.  Since they’ve done more traumatizing for Dog Treats, they agree and it soon turns out the entire gang was invited, though none of them but Shaggy and Scooby are happy to see each other. I will say one of my complaints about the film is it never tackles the emotions behind the breakup: while the teams slowly repairs there are never any outright apologizes or scenes of them recociling or scenes of Shaggy chewing them out for abandoning him due to their spat. It just skips over the emotional bits to either wave a joke for the kiddies around or scream 

Really the jokes aren’t bad, the film just has trouble with actual emotion or depth that could’ve been there and tries for it once in a while, but dosen’t really do anything with it. The gang splitting up’s a good concept, and at this point on Scooby Doo on Zombie Island had really used it, and that was one where they were clearly still close friends and were still in touch they just quit mystery solving for a while till Zombie Island happened. Mystery Incorpreated would finally give this story justice later: Instead of over a petty ego squabble, the gang broke up over underlying tensions: The revelations about Fred’s dad caused him to go try and find himself, Velma alienated herself by hiding things from them, and Shaggy was shipped off to Military School and Scooby doggy prison camp... thankfully the last two didn’t last and Scooby rescued Shaggy with a tank but the tension DIDN’T go away: While the gang mostly reunited, Velma took time to forgive them and also tried bringing in the friend/girlfriend she’d made in the meantime only for her friends to isolate her and throw her out while Daphne took her time to return due to being hurt by fred. It’s complex and good stuff versus here where it’s just “WE’RE APART BECAUSE WE HATES EACH OTHER. And now we’re NOT”. It’s just a waste of a good concept and i’ m glad the franchise got around to doing it right. 

But my gripes aside our heroes head to the resort and meet Mondevarious, who admits outright to having tricked then and with confronted with the gang being broken up, makes it clear he knews.  “That’s the thing about broken things.. you can put them back together.”

And so he did. He needs the Gang’s help as he’s worried about the island and something going wrong there: The teens are leaving polite, well behaved. and clearly not themselves as one reacts to an old friend by neck lifting him and tossing him aside. Something’s deeply wrong here and the gang’s intrest is piqued enough to stay though everyone but Shaggy is determined to solve it themselves out of ego. Mondvarius is played by Rowan Atkinson and while I watched the bean movie as a kid this is where I fell in love with the guy, with later watches of Blackadder confirming that in my college years. Rowan just brings a fun dorky energy to the character and a nice earnestness too but when he later takes a turn for the bad, he does that well too. Atkinson is HIGHLY underated in my opinon and easily the MVP of this film’s supporting cast.   So the investigation begins, and we get our supsects: The first we met on the plane, Mary Jane, a kind blonde played by Isla Fisher who got the job becasue Gosnel, in a rare good decision, saw how talented she was and while still picking Sara Michele Gellar for Daphne, made sure she had  a part. She’s a nice sweet girl who Shaggy falls for and Scooby’s annoyed by it.. though unlike earlier the film beats mystery inc easily here as it’s a more understandable conflict and dosen’t act like Dog Issues is a thing people says. Again i’ll get to that clusterfuck of an arc some day. The other two are N’Goo Tuna, a shady worker at the park who spouts off the legends of the island. In a nice twist, he’s NOT the vilian, as is obvious but is his right hand man. He also has his own right hand and muscle in Zarkos a cool looking Luchador and N’Goo’s muscle. Also N’Goo may be one of the worst names in Scooby Doo History, and that includes Dabba Doo. But the legend claims the island was once owned by demons who want revenge since the resort took the island from him. 

The other is probably my faviorite non Rowan Atkinson character, Voodoo Maestro, played by Miguel Nunez. He’s basically just a guy who lives on the fringes of the island and also hates the resort and tries using voodoo curses. He’s honestly a delight from his attempt to sacrifice a chicken (An already dead one at that), to his general hammy and annoyed at dealing with these teenagers demeanor. NAturally he has nothing to do with this but he’s still a fun addition and I wish he was in more scnenes than the two he gets.  But with what they’ve gathered the gang all end up at a spooky castle attraction, with Scooby and Shaggy of course being bribed by daphne while Velma and Fred show up indpeendntly and end  up finding the weird training video from earlier but all get caught when the traps are activiated> There’s also a farting contest which.. eh not funny to me but i’ve seen so much worse i’m not even remotely upset. But then the traps trigger though during the chaos Fred and Velma are forced to work together and finally start doing so, and Daphne finds a clue: A mysterious pyramid known as the damon righus and finally gets some, if not nearly enough, credit.  So the gang is back together.. even if it’s a tenative peace, the high from solving this and relay to their boss the suspects, including him, though Fred assures Mondovarius it’s just because he’s spooky and rowan’s character’s delight over that is fucking glorious.  So the gang enjoys some down time at the local bar, with Fred and Daphne doing their own look ins, Scooby and Shaggy eating and encountring mary again and Velma getting hit on by a dude while looking over the ritus, revealing it’s some sort of soul sucking aparatus, and going into their history... which is really just an excuse to bring Scrappy in who in this universe, is a horny egotistical little shit whose abandoned as a result. ANd before anyone boos he’s not a puppy here, he’s got.. dog dwarfisim.. which while .. how does that even work... means he’s a grown ass man and deserved this. We also get drunk velma and Linda Caredenlli is a delight

The night gets interupted by terrible cgi monsters, the aformentioned emon who soul suck most of the college kids present and also get fred and velma who both find out these are very much real. We also get the best song on the soundtrack, man with a hex. It slaps. But it makes good chase music as with Mondvarious, Fred and Velma captured, the rest of the gang and mary escape.  The next morning we get a surreal as hell scene as everyone’s partying, Fred’s talking in slang and Velma with clevage, thank you, is chatting up.. Sugar Ray? For those younger of you they were a band at the time. They were a big thing. Not half bad but faded away. They looked as 2000′s as hell though. WHy Smash Mouth gets all the memes and not them is beyond me. Look at lead singer Mark McGrath!It’s like the early 2000′s gained sentience and took a human form. But the gang is quickly forced to run from sugar ray, though they get Daphne in a deleted scene. Why it was deleted I dunno. Point is Shaggy, Scooby and Mary are all alone.. oh and Mary’s possessed. Shaggy and Scooby argue over it because Shaggy just thinks Scooby is jealous and while he is .. why would he lie about this? He’s as cowardly as you are. But Scooby falls through the floor, and Shaggy is now going solo but luckily finds his friends souls, and eveyrone elses in a massive cool looking vat and frees them all.  Velma, when the demon leaves her and confronts her, finds out sunlight kills the demons and saves Daphne from hers... only to find Fred in her body. Daphne is naturally horrified and we do get a great bodyswapping scene.

Our heroes reconvince on the beach where htey find the Maestro who explains what’s going on to a point, with the gang’s clues filling in the blanks: The ritus, which they stole back earlier, is used for a ritual that will allow the Demons to rule over the earth for “a thousand years of darkness” but it requires a pure soul to work. Cue our big bad talking Scooby into being their willing sacrifice since Scooby dooes not understand what a sacrifice is.  Shaggy naturally rallies the group to go save him after their understandably worried since they usually dealt with weirdos in costumes and not the apocalypse.. well okay Velma and Fred aren’t, Daphne dealt with this kind of thing once a week back in Sunnydale. So they set up a plan to destroy all the demons at once by unleashing the soul bath, setting them all loose and then using a spooky disco ball from one of the attractions rigged up over the ritual area to shine the light in. It’s classic scooby doo. 

Things naturally go wrong as while Shaggy goes to rescue scooby and makes up with him, he’s caught, so are fred and velma and they have to scramble, while Daphne looses a fight with the luchador up top while trying to let the light in to finish the trap. Meanwhile Shaggy saves Scooby’s soul just as Mondovarious sucks it out by shoving the guy.. revealing him to be a robot! DUN DUN DUN. And inside is Scrappy.. which you all probably knew already but try to act suprise who wanted to conquer the world as revenge for the gang abandoning him and because again, in this universe he’s kind of an asshole. He absorbs the souls gathered so far and merges with the damon ritus, because we’re operating on video game rules now apparently, so final boss time.  But we get a great climax as Scrappy chases scooby, Daphne goes buffy on Zarkos ass , and as a result he shatters the glass and lets the light in releasing the disco ball the kill the demons.. man I love that I get to type things like that. Scooby removes the ritus and defeats his nephew and the day is saved. Velma hooks up with random guy, Daphne and Fred get together, I die inside a little and Shaggy and Mary Jane bond. At the press Fred does his good deed for the movie by letting Velma explain things and get the spotlight and the group have firmly reunited. THE END. Overall it’s a solid plot, that works well, comes together in the end and was well put together, it’s more the filling that causes it to tilt back and forth a bit, but overlal outside of the issue I mentioned it’s a good scooby doo plot. While some have pointed out it is similar to zombie island, a case reuniting the gang, the person who brought them there wanting to sacrifice them, or just scooby here, monsters being real, it works because everything else is so different. But since there’s more to break down and it’s easier to give it it’s own section let’s look at...

THE CHARACTERS: NOT HALF BAD, FRED CAN GO FUCK HIMSELF. 

So we’re down to character.. and since there’s a blonde, preeening, selfish, arrogant, sleazy, sexist, obnoxious, loud mouthed, useless elephant in the room, let’s start with Fred. And to quote it’s always sunny....

Yeah so that fury of a thousand crashing waves (Cracks Knuckles): Fred is the worst part of this movie, the worst version of the character across the entire franchise that i’ve seen with the sincre doubt that there is ANY version worse than this. Everything I said above is true and THEN some. He is one of the most unlikable characters i’ve seen in a film that wasn’t INTENDED to be. There’s just NOTHING to like about him. Nothing. He treats his “Friends” like garbage, all four of them: He basically ignores shaggy and scooby at best and treats them as if they were nothing. For Velma he’s your classic power abusing douche who pushes her to the side and often steals the credit for things she did. He’s still a good mystery solver, but he acts like he does all the work to the press and takes all the credit when Velma works as hard as he does if not harder. And worst of all is Daphne, who he basically either treats like some moron who gets kidnapped due to incompetence and not because creepy old dudes want to feel her up, which given the intro is VERY likely the reason she’s the resident victim of the group, and not like a person, or like a pair of boobs and legs he wants to bang or feel up creepily while he’s in her body. For fuck’s sake his reaction to finding out he’s in her body is a creepy and smug “I can see myself naaaakeddd” If that dosen’t make you want to smack him get off my blog. And they get together in the end! 

Who who wanted that. I genuinely want the presumibly original ending where Daphne and Velma hook up and Fred falls off a pier and is never seen again. The acting does not help. While the other four gang members are expertly cast Fred was given to Freddy Prinze Junior, who made a career out of playing arrogant dicks who are somehow the main character so I can’t fault the casting but I can fault that he can’t delver any line without that smug air of trying to be cool douche and it’s at it’s worst with Fred since Fred’s already written as the biggest creepiest douche in the world and Freddy somehow makes it WORSE. He also has zero chemstiry with Daphne, which would be weird given he and Sarah Michelle Gellar had dated for 2 years at this point and as of this writing have been together for 20 overall and have two wonderful kids together... but given how badly written Fred is here, I can’t blame either of them. And i’m sure FPJ is a swell guy, loves his kids loves his wife seems like a really plesant guy, nothing against him as a person, but at least at this point in his career he wasn’t very good. And I am actually planning on trying to seek out one of his later works in his career to see if he’s gotten better in recent years, and willing to give him the benifit of a doubt that he probably has. I just don’t like him here, and while the script does most of the work he only makes it worse.And works before this (Pup Named Scooby Doo) and after this (Mystery Incorperated) would prove you can give fred a personality that’s not dick tip, so fuck this character, fuck the writing.. and I hope Freddy is having a happy halloween with his loving wife and children, seriously I meant it I have nothing against him as a person. A terrible actor can still be a WONDERFUL guy. 

Now that’s thankfully put to bed, let’s pivot over to Shaggy, whose easily the best of the cast. Matthew Lillard looks the part pefectly, has the right combination of heart and goofus and has some great comedic timing. Granted Scream had already proven the guy’s got genuine talent, but still he’s great here and is currently playing Shaggy in most films and productions, except Scoob which.. was far from it’s only mistake but easily the biggest. There’s not much else to say: the guy IS Shaggy and is the only person whose taken up the roll to equal Kasey Casem in it. As for how he’s written.. he’s basically the same and apart from one line of him wanting to leave everyone to their deaths, which feels like it was added later, he’s written really well and is easily the most likeable of the group. 

Scooby is alright. Not the best version but funny and charming enough when he needs to be and while I hated the CGI at one point.. it’s honestly not that bad. It’s not GREAT, but time has actually been very good to it both in how it’s held up and in the fact we’ve gotten SO MUCH WORSE with so much better techlogies. I mean.. Cats exists.. Marmaduke Exists.. the Bill Murray Garfield exists. This was offputting at the time but now it’s just okay. But character wise he’s good and again not much diffrent. 

Velma is the second best casting of the movie. Played by Linda Cardenelli, who i’ve harbored a crush on for a good few decades now and admire mostly for her talent and charm, Linda kills the roll and easily slips into it as easily as Matt did, and while not picking it up full time like he did, still did it a few times afterword and played hot dog water in mystery incorperated, so she did finally get to play a Lesbian Velma it just took a while. And while Velma being gay is kind of sterotyping, it would’ve been nice to have been kept in instead of edited out for bullshit reasons. But overal her character is decent: While she ALSO bullies and belittles daphne like fred, unlike fred it comes less from just being a douche and more from insecurity. As her scene at the bar makes clear she feels undervalued like the other, like the nerd who the cool kids LET hang out with them instead of part of the team. While it dosen’t make her treatment of Daphne OKAY, it makes Velma understandable. We also get Velma Clevage which.. okay not sure if the world needed that but whatever. Point is it’s throughly likeable portryal that I wish got some character growth.  Finally out of the main 5 there’s Daphne, whose alright. Not as good as the other two, as it feels they lean a bit too heavily on her having taken self defense and wanting ot be tougher, but Sarah Michelle Gellar gives her a ton of charm and likeablity that her husband’s character sadly lacks. There’s just a fun, adorable energy to daph that ends up coupling with her buffy style badassery at the end and Sarah plays both beautifully. The script didn’t give her a ton to work with, though that’s the same for all four of htem, but Sarah really made the character work and made her somewhat memorable despite not being as good as Linda or Matthew. Basically not the best, but still a comfortable third ahead of scooby doo and jackass jones. 

As for the rest of the cast, Rowan Attkinson i’ve covered and is utterly fantastic as is the Voodoo Maestro, and both should get hteir own hbo max spinoff together. The minons.. stupid name and luchadoor are decent enough, nothign special but they have presence and do the job of goon well. And Mary Jane is alright.. the joke is WAY too on the nose to be funny and she’s mostly just there to be sweet, but she’s harmless. Not good but not bad.  So finally we have our big bad, Scrappy. And i’m.. mixed about this. On one hand, Scott Innes, who it turns out is also from Missouri good on you dude!, does a terrific job and I couldn’t tell it wasn’t don messick as Scrappy and he plays him as evil great. On the other.. it’s just kinda goofy. Out of all the tips of hte hat to scooby stuff this feels the most over the top. Scrappy was hated, including by james gunn.. so he’s the bad guy. It’s just a bit on the nose, and the twist is pretty easily teligraphed since Scrappy suspciously is mentioned in one scene so him showing up at all is pretty easy to see coming. It’s not terible but it’s not great. His demon minons also just suck.. the designs are wonky and their cgi, unlike scooby and scrappy’s, is just REALLY bad and dated, and even as a kid I never liked them. 

FINAL THOUGHTS:  Scooby Doo is a decent but messy movie. The clashing tones, dated humor and godawful version of fred drag it down at times, and it’s very clear this had a lot of hands in the pot. But.. I still enjoy it. It’s not the best scooby ever, tha’ts mystery incorpeated, but it has great atmosphere, some good ideas, an utterly spectacular with one exception cast, and some really funny jokes. I genuinely feel the film is overhated when it’s a unique, weird and wonderful slice of Scooby. For better or worse there’s no other Scooby doo property quite like it, and that’s what makes it so fun. And it has enough good performances and jokes to smooth out the edges. It’s not the best, it’s a mess.. but sometimes a mess is fun and I like this flim for being a fun mess I can enjoy with my nieces and talk about to all of you. And sometimes that’s all you need.  Thank you for reading this. If you like this you can comission your own review: 5 bucks for a tv episode, 15 for a movie, 10 for an hour long special, and 5 dollars off when you order more than one episode of a show at a time. Just send me a direct message or ask on here and we’ll get started. Until then you can check out my backlog of reviews, check this space every monday for ducktales reviews, and VOTE DAMMIT VOTE. Until we meet again it’s been a pleasure. Play us out Atomic Fireballs, it’s been a wonderful halloween. 

[rainonglass]

𝑪𝑯𝑨𝑹𝑨𝑪𝑻𝑬𝑹 𝑺𝑯𝑬𝑬𝑻.

Repost, don’t reblog.

BASICS.

full name.  quirrel...... of hallownest?? hallownest doesnt really do surnames

nickname.  nin canon, he’s been called “mask”. i hc he probably got called “monomon’s assistant” and “that bug following monomon” a lot, even though. both of those are longer than his actual name

gender.  male, he/him

height.  tentatively 3′9″-ish. canonicaly he’s taller than hornet without her horns and shorter than hornet with horns so take that as you will

age. for sure older than 50, probably around 65-70

zodiac. doesn’t remember his birthday, but i hc he’s an aquarius. fun fact Bring Your Child To The Library day is the first saturday of february

spoken languages.  whatever language was most common in and around hallownest, plus bits and pieces of many languages from the world beyond

PHYSICAL CHARACTERISTICS.

hair color.  does not have hair follicles but his antennae are black

eye color. beady and black, if you google pillbug face you will see his eyes

skin tone.  whatever skin isn’t covered by carapace is a desaturated dark blue

accent.  uhh his voice actor is a guy from chicago if that gives you anything. ok for real though i think he has kind of a muddled accent, like the way he says “cat” doesn’t quite rhyme with “bat”. stuff that kinda clues you into his background in the wilds, where his speech patterns were shaped by the different places he went. despite that, he’s pretty easy to understand when he talks. something something being monomon’s assistant included teaching classes something something he retained that enunciation. fun fact one of my friends cobbled together his voice clips to make him say Words and the resulting accent sounded.... french? do with that what you will

voice.  i have it right here! specifically, near the end of the video but before his Fightin Words. he sounds his age, he’s pretty tired. still, there’s something very friendly about the way he talks

dominant hand.  ok so in game they just flip his sprite so you can’t definitively say what hand he holds his nail with, but in the prequel comic it looks like he favors his right both for combat and for general stuff (ie, he waves with his right hand)

posture.  i genuinely cannot tell if he’s slouching in-game or if his body’s just shaped like that, but i’m gonna go ahead and say he slouches a lot nowadays just because he’s old and his center of gravity is lower

tattoos. his position in hallownest wouldn’t have allowed it pre-amnesia, post-amnesia he wouldn’t have been keen on the recovery time given he was fighting to survive in the wilds

birthmarks. nope

noticeable feature(s). well, he’s obviously wearing a mask on his face, and he wears a kerchief over his antennae. if you got both of those off him you’d literally just be looking at a normal roly poly but i thought i’d mention them. uhhh he’s kinda leggy and he’s shaped like a kidney bean

CHILDHOOD.

place of birth. god i dont know. i hc quirrel was prrrrobably around middle-class? he doesn’t look like the aristocratic bugs in the city of tears and we know hallownest had a pretty strict caste system, so it was. probably kind of weird when monomon made him her assistant, but not inconcievable (for comparison, lurien’s butler/assistant was a member of hallownest’s high society). anyway that’s all to say i think he was uhhhhh probably hatched at home, in a city near but not part of the city of tears?

birth weight.  im sorry i cannot find the average birth weight of a pillbug but they look like this as mancas/babies

birth height.  like a milimeter or less

manner of birth. hatched from an egg!

first words. “outside”

siblings. so, so many (most didnt survive infancy though it’s tough for a pillbug)

parents.  two moms (it is MY headcanon and i give quirrel the two moms!!!)

parental involvement.  his parents tried their best but it’s tough when you have a bunch of pillbug babies running around. once he got a little older and survived molting though, they took more direct care of him. they made sure he got a very good education and worked hard to make him Refined in hopes he’d get a good job in the capital. he got in trouble pretty often even though he was a really sweet kid, he’d just forget the rules and run off to play outside. once he got his position with monomon, his moms talked about him a lot at like. the quilting circle.

(sidenote: quirrel remembers literally none of this, if you asked him any of these questions he’d have no idea except stuff that could logically be deduced from his species. he doesn’t remember his family at all)

SEX & ROMANCE.

sexual orientation. bisexual

romantic orientation. he’s bi all the way down baby

love language. playful debates, small touches, traveling together, saying exactly what he thinks about something, letting them see him sleep

relationship tendencies. asking a lot of questions, tends to hold his partner to a higher esteem than himself early on, learns a lot from his partner. not great at living with a partner because he’s so used to living outside

MISCELLANEOUS.

character’s theme song. doesn’t have one in-game, unless you count the archives theme (literally just ambient bubbling and spooky noises) or uumuu’s boss theme aka decisive battle (which is a general boss theme and isn’t unique to uumuu). i think uhhhh wait fuck i lied. closest thing we have is this, which is the city of tears indoors theme but is best known for playing in the scene where you sit on a bench with quirrel

mental illnesses. depression, some degree of anxiety, general dissociative problems, you know the deal. autism isn’t a mental illness but uuuuuh i’m gonna mention it anyway, i’m autistic so no matter what if i’m roleplaying a character they’re gonna end up with some autism in them. he’s got some issues with grief but like he doesn’t have a diagnosis and i don’t know what that would be anyway

self-confidence level. low! very low! he knows he’s old and he can’t remember much about being monomon’s assistant so he doesn’t have much going for him, in his eyes. his (implied) death at blue lake kinda gives you a look into that

vulnerabilities. grief. showing physical weakness. being shown pity. being trapped.

[gunnerpalace]

So how would you rewrite it? I think you said something about doing that?

That would be the subject of Hyperchlorate Part III. (Part II again being detailing everything that went wrong, and Part I being going over what made the story unique.)

In essence there are the four major changes I would make to Bleach:

Radically expand upon (and show, don’t tell) character relations in the story. We are repeatedly told that so and so are friends, or family, or colleagues, or whatever, and we essentially never see it (outside of Tatsuki and Orihime at the very beginning). It’s critical to caring about and interlinking the characters and seeing them grow and develop. For example, someone made a point that the Xcution arc demonstrates Ichigo’s bonds with Soul Society are stronger than with his own friends. That’s true, and you can see it in the Japanese cultural context of him using their first names (even for Toushirou!) whereas he keeps calling Uryuu and Orihime by Ishida and Inoue. There’s a definite social distance there. But it’s a subtle thing. And it really needs to not be subtle. There needs to be a lot more interactions between characters; plenty of characters literally never interact at all, and plenty of characters look fucking terrible for their apparent gross negligence that serves zero point other than to maintain the Mystery Boxes (here’s looking at you, Isshin, Ryuuken, and Kisuke).

Recontextualize everything after the Soul Society arc. I am not opposed to certain places, people, or concepts (e.g., Hueco Mundo, the Espada, Fullbring, the Soul King, etc.) but the way they were introduced and handled was, frankly, garbage. Arrancar, at least, were set up rather early on. The rest… was a bunch of ex nihilo shit. It came out of nowhere with no setup. I also don’t really enjoy the thematic inversion of Hueco Mundo seemingly purely for the sake of subverting expectations. So, I would restructure everything that happens after that point in gross detail.

Refit, standardize, and clearly and consistently implement and allude to the grand plot. If there was going to be some grand purpose to the Bleach universe, it needed to be made clear textually, not just thematically, throughout the story. It needs to be set up to the reader, if not to the characters, very early on so they “get” what everything is building toward. That absolutely was not done.

Having a real ending that actually involves our protagonists making a substantive change. I’ve definitely been over this before.

That’s all well and good, right? So what sort of things would I actually look to change?

As an example of the high-level stuff… In terms of narrative, internal consistency, and plot, the whole Substitute Shinigami thing makes no fucking sense. It makes literally zero sense that Ginjou was the first one in several thousand years, and Ichigo was only the second. It makes zero sense that a technique to transfer powers to humans exists and is taught at the academy, can be known to have a “low chance of success,” and then made a crime when it’s happened a grand total of two times, unless it was all a long con just to catch Ginjou, and in that case it’s dumb because he doesn’t matter. (We’re supposed to believe Soul Society allows Hollows to run roughshod everywhere but they’re really obsessed about catching this one dude but not enough to actually task anyone powerful to go do it? No, none of that makes sense.)

It also doesn’t make any sense that there are only a grand total of 6,000 to 7,000 Shinigami to patrol its nebulously defined area of responsibility. (Is it the whole world? Is it just Japan? If the latter, are there other Soul Societies? If the former, where are the foreigners? Sure seem to be a lot of people who look foreign, but they all have Japanese names and speak Japanese in a manga that clearly at least recognizes Mexico. Why would foreigners accept a feudal Japanese afterlife? This is another small example of what I mean by the grand plot being fucked.)

It also doesn’t make a lot of sense that the only Shinigami worth a damn are Captains, Lieutenants, and the occasional Seated Officer. (This is canonical, by the way.) Almost all of them are total trash who would lose to the most basic bitch Hollow, let alone an Arrancar. Meanwhile, your average Quincy can mop the floor with all three.

You know what would make a lot more sense, and work better with what’s on paper? Here are some ramblings from my notes on this subject:

i think it’s sorta like… you wanna mirror the structure of the Hollows; Shinigami as a whole are like Menos, although they are almost all Arrancar (there could be some very low-ranked/new Shinigami who do not have shikai, these would be the “rookies”), whereas substitute Shinigami are like masked Hollows, with some overlap into Gillians/Menos Grande

- Captains (General Officers) are at the level of the Espada (with obvious differences among them correlating to Espada generated from Vasto Lordes and Adjuchas)- Lieutenants (Staff Officers) are at the level of the Privaron Espada and some of the stronger fracciones- Seated Officers (Officers) are at  the level of most fracciones and wild Adjuchas [sometimes from the 4th Seat up are more on the level of the above, e.g., Ikkaku and Yumichika]- Unseated Officers (NCOs) are at the level of weak fracciones, or on the order of holding off a Gillian- Substitute Shinigami (Enlisted) are at the level of individual Hollows

Substitute Shinigami are basically what Soul Society sets up to deal with the Living World rather than directly intervening, because “they have better shit to do;” they’re probably set up like a secret society of beat cops, and yeah, if the Shinigami proper notice spiritually sensitive people while setting up new districts or maintaining their assigned ones, they shank'em and induct'em (usually these people attract Hollows anyway so it’s a “become one of our grunts or die” type deal; maybe if they refuse, the Shinigami kill them instead for shirking their duties?)Hollows aren’t the only spooky thing running around in the night either; they’re probably relatively rare, and other weird shit like revenants and ghosts are more common

i also have some notes here about how it’d be cool if Substitute Shinigami were like, an established thingand were expendable gruntswith actual Shinigami being rather more elite, even if they’re not seatedlike it’s XCOM with supernatural shithaving shikai should be a big fucking deal; even knowing kidou should be like, impressiveyour average Hollow should be equivalent to a Substitute Shinigamian unseated Shinigami should be like a Menos Grandea Shinigami good at kidou and a weak zanpakutou should be like a weak Arrancara seated Shinigami should be like a medium Arrancar and know shikai for surelieutenants should be like Privaron Espadaand captains should be like the Espada (or higher)

I could go on, but I think you get the idea. My first big change to Bleach would be dispensing with the concept of substitutes as being rare. They should be the main interface for the human world (and expendable, and have a high turnover rate). Rukia being there should be A Big Deal. (Have her sent there specifically to monitor things, like a Commissar? To look for Grand Fisher? Whatever.)

Ginjou, were he to exist, would then need a different backstory, but that would be real easy to build out.

As an example of additional character interaction, I’ve already detailed my idea that Kisuke and Yoruichi should be Rukia’s surrogate parents. (And solving the problem of when Rukia got the Hogyouku.)

As another example, it has never made sense to me that Rukia is the one that stays to fight Shrieker while she tells Ichigo to take Karin home. Rukia knows her powers are iffy at best, and should know better. She damn near almost dies (along with Chad) for no reason other than… ??? For dramatic tension and to reveal Chad can attack Hollows, I guess. Even Ichigo calls her out on it. It should’ve been flipped, with Karin revealing things to Rukia and learning about her, and that should be built into Karin repeatedly noticing the two of them (which was never, ever paid off in any fashion whatsoever). This is just one example of more moments of character interaction outside of fights.

As an example of reworking things, I like the ideas of turning the hunt for Aizen into something more like Apocalypse Now, that Aizen kidnaps Karin and Yuzu instead of Orihime, and that his hideout is deep in Rukongai instead of Hueco Mundo:

in one of these posts, @icchiruki was like, Aizen shouldn’t have run off to Hueco Mundohe should’ve run into Rukongaiand that’s geniusbecause it makes him more sympathetic because they have a legit reason to be aggrieved with Soul Societyand also lets us see the other side of the coinwhich, conveniently, leads toward my idea of the HM arc as being more like Heart of Darkness/Apocalypse Now, with Aizen as the equivalent of Kurtz out among the Montagnardsand also lets there be some spooky eldritch shit like whatever was going on with Ukitake and folk belief in TYBW, but less out-of-nowherebecause it’s pretty clear that whatever’s going on with the divine in Bleach is fuckin’ weird and Lovecraftianwhich can tie into that other bit of work i was doing with “where does all this come from anyway”so you stitch it all together and pull the seams snug and you get an actual expansive worldthen you keep the focus squarely on Ichigo, Rukia, and co., as they navigate through itthe further out into Rukongai you go, the weirder it should get; Shinigami should also routinely get sent to Hueco Mundo (both of these being the more important shit they gotta deal with) and recon and do stuff there; Hueco Mundo itself should be less empty wasteland, more kind of weird dark mirror of Soul Societylike a Kill Six Billion Demons type deal

These are just examples. I could go on.

tl;dr Make Bleach much longer and more personable and personally relatable, show your hand on some of the mysteries and backstories much earlier, and make it simultaneously more fuckin’ weird and more human.

[holyfrozenyogurt]

Best underrated books/series that shaped my childhood, and what they’re about

-The Septimus Heap series: Kind of like medieval Harry Potter, with wizards, quests, disturbing creatures, and loveable characters. By Angie Sage

-The Underland Chronicles: Follows the adventures of a boy named Gregor and his sister Boots who both fall down a laundry grate into a world with very pale people and giant animals like cockroaches, mice, and bats. Very dark: murder, violent deaths, used the phrase “carpet of corpses”, and has literal fucking MOUSE GENOCIDE. By Suzanne Collins

-The Ghosthunters: Tells the story of a kid named Tom who hunts evil ghosts with a woman named Hetty Hissup and an ASG (averagely spooky ghost) named Hugo. A bit spooky, very much so during the last book, but very fun. Hard to find in print (I’ve tried), but you can find the audiobooks on Overdrive for free. By Cornelia Funke

-Half Magic: A story about 4 siblings who find a magic charm that grants wishes, but by halfs. They get into deep shit before they find that out. Pretty entertaining, funny and lighthearted. No big villains or deaths. By Edward Eager

- The Sisters Grimm: 2 sisters, Sabrina and Daphne Grimm became orphans when their parents went missing. They’ve been shipped around from family to family, and finally come to live with their grandmother in a sleepy town. However, they find out that they’re related to the Brothers Grimm and the town is full of fairytale characters, who pretty much all hate their guts. Sounds like it would be cliche, but it isn’t. Can be very dark sometimes. By Michael Buckley

-The 39 Clues: Dan and Amy Cahill have lived with their Great Aunt Beatrice since their parents died in a fire. After their grandmother Grace dies, they discover that they’re part of the most influential family in the world. But Grace had a contest set up: a race for 39 clues that together will makes any Cahill the most powerful person in history. Full of backstabbing, violence, and death. Don’t read the other series past the first one, they recycle the same plot and just kill all the good characters off. Written by a team of great writers including Rick Riordan, Gordan Korman and Jude Watson.

-Timmy Failure: A detective with a giant pet polar bear. He’s a fucking dumbass, but it makes it funny. Thinks the whole world is out to get him. Satirical sometimes, hilarious, and amazing. By Stephan Pastis

- Artemis Fowl: A boy genius and criminal mastermind kidnaps a fairy to get her gold. Is being made into a movie, read the book before you watch it. By Eoin Colfer

-The Mysterious Benedict Society: Hard to describe. An ad appears in the newspaper advertising adventure, all you have to do is pass the tests. Hundreds of kids try, but only 4 get through: Sticky, Kate, Reynie, and Constance. They get a secret mission: infiltrate a school called the Learning Institute for the Very Enlightened, where the only rule is that there are no rules. Funny with real characters, sweet and captivating. By Trenton Lee Stewart.

[chaneajoyyy]

Hey gwirrrrl! Can you pointe in the direction of Erik Killmonger x plus sized reader fics?

Hey miss mamas!!! I sure can!! 

ERIK X PLUS SIZE!READER FICS (UPDATED)

- how i feel, right now, animal, chains series, purple herbs & gardens, risks & new beginnings series, better with time, let’s play, without a doubt, sizzling pans & slow jams, misinterpretations, visions of gold, out business, come through and chill series, nights, slow burn, a siren’s allure, venom, the one, maybe they’re right, sore loser series, i’ll be alright, spooky cookies & vampire fangs, screams in the night series; knock, knock series; imagination, the cure series, poptart man series, this must be our song, conversation starter, heaven is a place on earth, twins?, say it, i’m there, his princess, his for the night, sugar baby series, authority series, baby shark, lemme try, take our time, say the word, sudden reunions series, memories of you, more ways than one, lemme try it again (that’s my face), not in budget, i would like to see it, pease mama bear, she likes me, guess what, times like these, tell me your secret series, he gets it from me, baby see baby do, see what had happened was, who me?, so relax, three kings of dreams, deck the b-…halls?, do it again, be quiet, you so crazy, how that sound?, you’re so handsome, sit still, leave me aloneee, don’t hide, or maybe, send it to mommy, but i’m sick.., you thought i wouldn’t find out, he’d make you his, ballet baba, ain’t that right?, he wasn’t having that, being honest, that’s all it took?, then stop ignoring me, since you can, but i thougth…, jealous, i won’t tell you again series, hit me, no reply, i’ve alway been, you sure?, no more tummy time, toss ‘em, you done now?, sing it baby, doped up, battle it out, for however long, bath time, bedtime stories, i’m sorry, was that so hard?, i owe you that, whatchu say?, hard headed, it should’ve been you, take our time series, baba’s day, whatever she wants, nope, can’t even look at you, not again, nose wide oen, just a bit longer, come on over to my place, fences & bullriders, right now, mr. telephone man series, designated command strips, one way or another, you ain’t hear that?, autumn leaves & cookie thieves, open up- @supersizemeplz

- all erik fics and headcanons- @nahimjustfeelingit-writes

- all erik fics and headcanons- @eye-raq

- teach me series, when you’re mad series, waffles series, slow ride series, movie night series, let’s talk about sex series, mines, thunderstorm, girl fuck you, eat your breakfast seres (with eat your dinner), secret admirer, amusement park fun, displays of affection, night at the movie theaters, silent hearbeats series, kissing strangers series, worship, loving the way you love it, day drunk, smile for me daddy series, just like you, we goin to hell, breeding time- @thehomierobbstark

- late again, halloween party, imprint, a man in love, v.i.p (includes m/baku), daddy’s home, y’all again?, okay? okay, prisoner of love, family cookout, kiss, what’s cooking good looking, expecting headcanons, food headcanons, crying headcanons, nsfw headcanons, foot fetish series, halloween headcanons, lingerie headcanons, jealous headcanons, kevin’s  heart series, untitled series- @madamslayyy

-carnal stimulation series, next lifetime series, hoe ass erik series, dirty little secrets series, hennything is possible, sunday dinner series (with payback), a.d.i.d.a.s., green goddess, suddenly stevens, beauty is her name, it’s complicated. i’m sorry, the great reveal, neighbors know my name series (part 2 to @hearteyes-for-killmonger‘s story of the same name), the devil speaks xosha, mile high, trap card, act up, let me smell it, up late, i’ll take your man, carry on, dreams & nightmares- @goddessofthundathighs

- headass youtube couple series, fix my crown series, all skate, cutting ties series, #tsrbaewatch,  @apantherinmypastlife

- all erik fics-  @wawakanda-btch

- all fics- @hearteyes-for-killmonger

- say my name series, beg for it, the coat room, charley horse, full court press, house party, boyfriend makeup challenge, gumby, the let out series, disorderly, token, all i wanted for christmas is you, hit the showers, neo, erica; veni, vidi, vici, i will be here, trick or treat, the wakandan boys when they’re sick (includes t’challa and m’baku)- @sonofnjobu

- mine, unravel me series (includes belong to you), i missed you series (inlcudes you a’ight and if they ain’t looking), rated e, on braodway, no average bitch,  @brownsugarcocoabutterwildflowers (scroll for erik killmonger x reader and erik killmonger imagine)

- all tasting mellow fics- @tastingmellow

- laid up series- @pastelastronomy24

- come lay with me, house hunting series, stretch marks, the footbal jerseyy, you sure?- @marvelmaree

- the deal series, nuggest of truth, girlfriend, all i want is you, care for you- @wakandamama

- rated e for extra petty, elbow deep series- @puffmamaa

- she got game, where’s the smoke, s.d.m., from paris with love, where the hoes at? (with t’challa and m’baku), written all over your face, baby bump series (wit cuddle buddy,, and hc: chubby!erik trying old clothes), not in that way, here kitty kitty, computer blue series, chunk series- @ghostfacekill-monger

- all erik fics- @stripper-patrick

- he spills series (with t’chala and m’baku)- @captainsaveasmut

- i’m cleva series, do me baby (part 2 of @killmongersgurl‘s serieserik’s created a monste)-, @killmongerdispussy

- sorry he’s gone, mad issues series, curiosity happy weight- @curls-and-crosses

- nah baby i got you- @inxan-ity (scroll for erik killmonger)

- all fics- @writerbee-ffs

- paragone series- @dynastynoire

- all fics- @eriksjournal

- the sweetest taste series, late night drive- two of a kind series (includes ‘03 bonnie and clyde prequel), beyond the lights series, mad love series- @wakandaforeverwrites

- all erik fics and headcanons- @plussizeappreciationfics

-thanksgiving w/ mr. stevens and the udakus series (with valentine’s gumbo),  @mermaidchansons

- all erik fics- @muse-of-mbaku

- all fics- @eerythingisshaka

- all fics- @artisticestheticreads

- insecure series- @erikslulbaby

- return the favor series- @taint3dvirgin

- a day at the beach with erik, prompt 19 “what’s cooking, good looking”, stay here tonight, greater purpose of chaos, sharing disney movies with erik, 90s disney movies with erik-  @hidden-treasures21

- new year’s surprise series- @thefantasyride

- for the love of money?, my first & his only, the big chop, braid my hair, short staffed, visiting hours- @bakarilennox

***PLEASE HIT ME UP TO ADD YOUR STORIES OR ONES YOU KNOW. THERE ARE MORE I FEEL LIKE I MISSED***

[cowboyguts-moved]

oops, my bad, i haven’t been on this hell site in a while so i just saw this account and was like oh hey they did ocs a while back and so i just asked randomly, but how are your new ocs then?? :3 how are they doing what’s up with them?

oh no worries!!! 😳 i’m sorry if i came across as Abrasive i’m just so used to people asking about them when i don’t have much to say cause i haven’t thought about that canon in ppppfff 3 years or more and no one gives me new ones the time of DAY, man. but i didn’t know you weren’t aware!!! but yeah actually its preettttyyy exciting I've had these new ocs for like a year and a half almost and they’re crispy with detail. thank you for asking 😔 uhh well Lewis, my main oc, he’s cute y’all would like him he’s a 5′4 amputee harboring a lot of trauma from his improbable past trying to make a quick buck in a new town selling his body cause he’s never integrated into society before and he’s trying to be anonymous so its the best thing he can think of right now. meanwhile in spooky beach town lewis has started prostituting in there’s a band of boys who are stoners aside from one varsity football player who hangs out with them...why??? he doesn’t know why and he regrets it every hang out session. ONE of these boys is lewis’s long lost friend he met went he went to a really strict religious private boarding school in 6th-8th grade and lewis remembers him very charming and goofy and made him feel hopeful for the kind of life he could have if he was normal and didn’t live in a CULT setting. he’s like this average height, brown skin dark brown curly haired dick head with a twink body named Chris. but when lewis sees this chris again he looks like absolute ass and he has a drug habit and an abusive father and he’s Big gay like BIG gay and he will put his dong into any man that walks which is crushing to lewis because this dude, was supposed to be like, representative of what he could have in life as a normal boy but if this is all there is.... man, that’s mad sad!

Chris sees lewis of course because he goes to the corner he’s working at to get a bit of a suck but when lewis is trying to get to work for that cash he needs Chris is like hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. oh my god its Lewis. and he nearly sharts himself because that was the love of his life back then and the first crush he ever had on a boy and his first kiss and lewis is like oh my god its Chris. you’re handsome but you look like pure diarrhea at the same time and it pisses me off and Don’t follow me out of the alleyway i will slice into you, fag. but guess what (: chris is lovesick and will follow lewis to the ends of the earth and does Not. leave him alone. seriously. he comes back the next day and the next and the next and the next just to TALK to him. he’ll pay money to talk to him because he can, he’s upper middle class and a prick. and it drives lewis....insane (: insane with...love. but he doesn't realize that yet i mean for now he’s just fucking annoying but alas. 

but like in canon right now??? they’re like 49 and 50 years old cause the story takes place in the 80s but if we’re peering into a window of the past lewis is probably napping on chris’s bed after a hard days work at his legit job at a junkyard once he ditches the prostituting life and Chris has a pot of mac n cheese on downstairs of his stupid bougie house cause his terrible father is gone selling properties at his work or whatever the hell Chris doesn’t fucking know what he really does. and while the noodles are cooking he’s reading a book cause he’s like a literature dark academia freak and he’s looking over his book to stare at lewis lovingly. actually it’s pretty much all he’s doing he’s basically not reading lewis just snores so cute