#Which I kinda wanted to. Just for the drama

[kiddiesmores]

𝐂𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐠𝐞 𝐓𝐞𝐝𝐒𝐜𝐡𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐭 𝐏𝐨𝐥𝐲𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐞: 𝐏𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐥

𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐦𝐢𝐤𝐞: bello! this is the prequel to the college ted smut fic LOLL, this is gonna be a cute little series. more headaconish if anything, everyone say thank you @michibap !! this series is less edited, and i’ll talk abt them as i please, but if you ask for more i’ll probably tell u more abt them so, you never know. ok enjoy!

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: smutty towards the end.

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 2.2k

and as always!! dividers by @cafekitsune

Ted was the RA of your hallway yalls freshman year

At your first meeting you kinda sat in the chair with your roommate next to you a little geeked out

Those stupid glasses and collared shirt had a grip on you it really did

But outside of the occasional room check (which he literally does nothing but stand and look side to side before leaving) you don’t see him much

However on your walk home from your friend's dorm across campus, your roommate gave you a heads up that she’s having a person over, and if you could stall an extra 30 minutes or so that would be great.

Whatever, you’ll hang out in the common area

That was at 9pm. It’s 11.

And you’ve blown this girls phone up and fucking nothing, and it’s not like you’re not LITERALLY RIGHT OUTSIDE THE ROOM so you know whoever it is hasn’t left yet.

And you’ll be damned if you sleep in room with your roommate and her victim of the week.

So you decide to suck it up and text your friends who’s dorm you were just at and asking if you could sleep on the floor tonight and just bitch at her tomorrow

“You locked out?”

Your angel, saving grace, Ted Nivison

“Nah just um, trying to be a good roommate.” you joke, pointing at the pink scrunchy on the doorknob that your roommate used to signal she has someone of “importance” over

He laughs a bit to himself, “Well, I can keep you company, or better yet kick whoever it is out, yk, can’t have opposite sex over past 10pm and all”

You sigh, “I don’t even know if it’s a man in there or not so, we can hold off on that one”

He sets up next to you on the common area couch, “Then I guess I'm keeping you company.”

Your brow raises, “Don’t you have any RA duties to finish, like i dunno, loud sex complaints or people smoking out their shoe box?”

And he laughs again, you got this man giggling, you’re so in

“I’m off duty now, finished my last walk around so, you want me here or not?”

You pretend to think for a moment, “Yeah, you wanna see pics from my cadaver internship?”

“Forgot I'm on the floor with the freaks.”

From that point on you two were in contact with each other

Walking back from class and checking his door to see if the wheel on his door said he was inside or not before knocking

Always thinking it’s another resident but it’s just you with a bag of chick fil a from the student center and a stupid smile while sweat drips from your forehead

The two of you sitting in his floor sharing fries and discussing class and the drama from your opposing friend groups

Finding out he’s a theater and film kid from all the playbills and movie posters scattered across his single bedroom

Complaining about how it’s been months and you get no play and have to just suffer and live through your roommate

And he’s just eyeing you like 🌝

So yall start hooking up! for the plot

He was kinda waiting for you to just lean over and just start kissing him but a win is a win

Eventually you’d be sleeping over all the time and one night yall are watching a movie on his laptop

And he has an arm around you and just looks down at you like “Are we like?? Dating??” Cause atp it’s been going on for months

And you shrug and you’re like “We can be”

And he’s giddy but tries to stay cool about it

But the cuteness aggression gets to him and he just starts hugging you tight as fuck and rolling around violently and you’re like “bro chill” but you like it so it’s whatever

Fast forward to sophomore year and yall are out of the dorms thank fucking god

Yall end up living in the apartments close to campus where all of your older friends used to stay

But the real issue is debating if you’d wanna live TOGETHER or not

You decided against it because the thought of living with a man is driving you crazy, you get enough testosterone when you see him and schlatt together you don’t need that evil energy near you at all times

Speaking of Schlatt, that dumb ass sigma chi president

When you first met it was when Ted drug you to one of the parties they threw, something about getting the “full college experience” or something who knows

Schlatt approaches you both and he kinda looks at you funny?? So you look at him funny?? But you know that look, you’ve seen it from the girls and twinks in the Fine Arts building whenever you go in and sit with Ted before class starts

He wants your guy and now you’re on guard

You end up going shot for shot with him at the next party to assert your dominance over him but you both just end up drunk and shoeless down the road eating half frozen burritos he took from the house fridge

Ted notices you both are missing and tracks your location and drives to find you both sitting on a curb leaned against eachother

“How the fuck did you guys get here?? And what the fuck are you eating??”

“Rito..” you mumble, mouth full of tortilla and you even hand it to him as a peace offering

He sighs and takes a bite before lifting you up and throwing you over his shoulder with a “hff” from you, and looking down to see Schlatt falling over since you were his ledge

“Get up man, you’re embarrassing the hoes” and Schlatts at full attention and stumbling to the car

So yall fucked with eachother after that, hangover the next morning went CRAAZY and yall sent each other snaps back and forth showing how fucked you both looked

When yall decided to get the apartments, schlatt was there, in Ted’s ear about how Tucker and Charlie would be happy to live with them if you didn’t want to

And you look at him like ???? cause since when was he moving into the apartments

“If I stay another year in that house and see those pledges everyday and hear them try to butter me up, I might burn the house down.”

“Type shit”

Even at separate houses Ted still loves to be in yours.

Sleepover? Yeah if it’s in your bed. Wanna fuck? Yeah but only in your bed.

Girl house energy is so much better than chuckle house.

You’ll wake up to him tucked into your side or laid on top of you, face in your neck and snoring softly.

No shirt on, hands on your hips and sleepy mumbling in your ear, you don’t even mind how hot his body temp is because he looks so precious on top of you.

Loves when you rub on his back and whisper his name to wake him up, slowly waking up and squinting at his lack of vision and because of how tired he is before smiling softly when he sees you.

Yall are so codependent it’s sickening.

Loves touching you, like LOVES IT. CRAVES IT.

When you’re out together he will have his hand on yours or hand on your waist or hip.

Hanging out with friends? He needs to be sitting next to you, thighs touching or head resting on top of yours, hands interlocked and kissing your fingers while staring at you softly while you speak.

Mornings after sleepovers he’s stood behind you while you cook or move about in the kitchen, hands around your waist and leaning against you while trying to force himself awake.

“You’re gonna make me trip if you don’t move Ted.” “Buh.”

Off chance you’re at his place, it’s never just you and him time. It’s you, Ted and Schlatt time.

You’re cuddling? Schlatt is sitting at the bottom of the bed or in the office chair at the desk on his phone. You wanna smoke? Schlatt is sat between you both as a footrest for you and someone to lean on for Ted.

Yall have a group chat called “Bottoms n Schlatt”

He always oddly fits in with you two.

You learn that he and Ted had a weird aura when they first met. Not knowing if they were just close friends or wanted each other but inevitably never doing anything about it.

And you only found out when one drunken night at a party you found your boyfriend and schlatt talking oddly close to each other in a corner, giggling and poking at each other while Schlatts hand tightly gripped your boyfriends hip to stop him from running from his playful gnawing.

But you weren’t upset at all! In all honesty it was hot! And it’s not like you and schlatt haven’t fooled around before.

That drunken night as yall sat on the curb was only the beginning.

It’s where he admitted his distaste for you because he thought you were stealing his bestfriend. And how he found you both so attractive it made him mad.

To which you replied, “Type shit” and let him kiss you, only stopping when he pulled back and grumbled about having to throw up, making you go “eugh” and rub his back as he did so.

You told Ted the next morning, a bit guilty as you guys had JUST started dating but he wasn’t phased at all.

“Did you like it?”

“Huh?” you mutter, still twiddling with your fingers anxiously. He smiled sweetly, slowly sliding his hand over to yours to interlock them, leaning in closer. “Did you like kissing him?”

You think for a second, dumbly blinking with slightly widened eyes. “I mean, for the 10 seconds before he had to hunch over I did..” “Eugh..” “I had the same reaction.”

He laughs and kisses your cheek, squeezing your hand before murmuring a low, “M’not mad, I think this is definitely a conversation for all three of us to have though.” To which you nod and softly kiss his lips.

To this day that conversation never happened. You all kinda just hit on each other whenever you were all together.

At a party and talking to Ted while stood next to Schlatt but Schlatt’s hand is on your hip as he sips his drink, and both their eyes are locked on you.

How you and Ted cuddled in an empty room while everyone else went crazy down stairs suddenly shifted to Schlatt sitting in the room with you guys quietly but then turned into all three of you sandwiched together, drunkingly giggling and whispering to eachother.

How you caught them making out in a dark corner and only whined because you wanted to be included.

To which they took turns kissing you while being passed around in their arms.

Multiple pictures in the digicam of you three, the taller two holding you up while you pout or the three of you teasingly sticking your tongues out at each other while the tips touch.

But your personal favorite, was the one of them both between your legs, smiling goofily with glistening lips and dazed eyes, Ted's glasses crooked.

It started off playful, you laid back in Schlatt’s arms and play fighting with ted, small kicks and giggly grunts as you tried to keep him away from you, only for Schlatt to end up holding you down while Ted tickles you.

Once the tickling stopped he’d lean up to kiss you, still between Schlatts legs as you kiss him back, letting his tongue slip into your mouth. You let out soft moans, starting to forget that you’re both quite literally between schlatts legs until he lets out a low huff, making you pull back with a trail of spit between your lips to look up at him.

“Well don’t let me stop you.”

Ted’s face ends up buried between your legs with Schlatt’s hands under your sweatshirt toying with your tits and locking you in a hot sloppy kiss, grunting into your mouth when you moan out for Ted.

Pinches your nipples and it makes your back arch, causing Ted to groan and rub his nose against your clit as he eats you out.

Schlatt marks up your neck, huffing in frustration because he needs MORE

Does a weird shuffle to move from under you, confusing you a bit because where are you going??

Regardless he manages to get from under you and lays you against the headboard, walking around to the end of the bed to join Ted between your legs.

Pushes his face over with his hand like “Move over.” “Guh”

Your eyes kinda widen because what are they gonna-oh wow.

TWO MOUTHS???

THEY’RE ALTERNATING

This is a planned attack, has to be.

Regardless you enjoy it, two mouths lapping at your cunt, two mouths to clean up the mess. Efficient!

In your haze you notice the digicam on the bed stand, shakily reaching over to grab it with a wicked smile.

The two of them are rutting against the bed and cleaning you up, Ted whimpering and Schlatts low groaning giving you a good contrast of the two.

“Say cheese boys!” you tease with a playful cunning smile, causing them both to look up and press a cheek to either of your thighs.

Both looking just as pitiful as the other, only difference is Ted’s glasses are all fucked up and he’s way redder than Schlatt is. But they enjoyed it an equal amount!

So yeah y'all are all kinda locked in after that.

[nekohime19]

AITA for sleeping with the guy my girlfriend is cheating on me with?

Idk what happened but I just had the funniest idea ever and I just had to write it. So basically it's a reddit post style short story with Wukong's pov. It's an interactive story so the comments will be used as the answers. There will probably be a part two (maybe even a part three) but I don't think I'll write more than that.

Shadowpeach is the end goal and we don't forgive cheaters in this household.

Also sorry Spider Queen, love ya.

AITA for sleeping with the guy my girlfriend is cheating on me with?

Okay, so I'm not used to this internet madness but my successor once said it could help sometimes so here I am sharing drama.

So I (5000, He/him monkey immortal) have been dating this other person we'll call Venom (??, She/her, spider demon) for quite some time. And I've been quite happy with her. I know I'm not the most… upfront with things and I have issues (like a lot) but she liked me and we worked well together.

But then we got into more arguments when I began to train my successor (21, he/him, human???), we'll call him… Bud, just because.

The thing is, Venom got this whole world domination plan, which is kinda normal for demons. A lot of demons do that. And it never really bothered me because I was retired (for context I'm a retired hero who used to battle demons a lot). Besides, I had some kind of the same phase in my youth so I just thought it would pass when she'd realize it's kind of a stupid plan, and anyway she never did anything to achieve it.

But then I found a successor, Bud, and I began to train him to protect the city and fight demons, all that heroing stuff. Venom, of course, wasn't happy with that and we began to get into arguments. She accused me of betraying her and I just told her I was a hero from the start so she shouldn't have expected me to agree with her view and all.

Things got really bad when Venom decided to pull a end-of-the-world shit show on New Year when we agreed beforehand to go on a date that day. It felt like she was spiting me. Plus, she destroyed more than half of the city and gave Bud a really awful time so I was, understably I think, very angry with her.

We got on our biggest argument and took some time apart to cool off. But then Venom got back all sweet and said to leave that behind us, so I was very happy and just decided to forget our arguments entirely. I thought she just decided to stop her world domination thing. It wasn't weird for us to do that. Not the first time we got into an argument about heroing and usually we just get back together after a little bit and decide to move on.

But then I started to notice some weird stuff about Venom. Like, she was on her phone a lot more (when she always thought those mortal things were lame before) and she was kinda dismissive and distant. She forgot some of our dates and had some lame excuses, like taking weeks of vacation or something??? When she never did that before.

In hindsight maybe I shouldn't have done that but I'm a monkey you know, so I'm naturally curious. So I took her phone and snooped around a bit.

Turns out Venom was cheating on me with another guy (??, he/him, monkey demon) we'll call him Six. She was seeing him behind my back and all, planning date and calling him “darling”, 🤢. I saw red. Like cheating ???? I know we have our ups and downs but to the point of cheating on me? I was really hurt by this.

So, I don't know, to try to calm down I started to investigate on Six. Like what kind of guy he is? Is he better than me? I was kinda surprised to discover he's another celestial monkey, like I always thought I was the only one?? But also it kinda hurt because Venom was cheating with a cheap dark version of me.

So I got petty.

I wanted revenge. And info. I decided I was gonna confront this Six guy first and pull a Monkey Cop, sussing him out to see if he was aware of my existence and to clarify this situation. Maybe I should have just talked to Venom but, idk, I guess some part of me was dreading the confrontation with her.

So I got to Six workplace with a disguise and all (sunglasses and hoodie). He works in the local theater and, okay, he was kind of good on stage. I'm not gonna lie, he's also kinda cute. Just a little bit. So I approached him at the end of the show, praising him for the performance.

One thing led to another and we kinda took dinner together??? I learned he moved in recently and that he got in a relationship with Venom three months ago (which hurt). But he seemed to genuinely like her and had no idea he was the side piece here. Sooo, maybe I took pity on him, like the guy didn't deserve that? I offered him a bottle and we got waisted. In hindsight, a really bad idea, especially since I have a loose mouth when I'm drunk.

We had a fun night, doing stuff together. He admitted my disguise was shit (which, rude 🙄) and was excited to meet another celestial monkey. We talked about our experiences and we really bonded. Annnd, I got to ruin it and spill the beans, saying the truth about how Venom is in fact my girlfriend.

At first he didn't believe me, but then I pulled pictures and, yeah, he was understandably upset. He kinda looks hot when mad. We got even more waisted and cried and cursed Venom and ate ice cream then we got on my mountain, drank some more of my personal celestial wine collection, and watched Monkey Cop… Then I say “You're kinda cute.” and he says “You too”.... One thing led to another and, yeah, we slept together.

And so now I'm in my bed typing this with the worst headache on earth and with very obvious marks of what happened last night on me. Six is sleeping next to me and I'm questioning my life (and my sexuality???)

WHAT DO I DO????

AITA ??

[chrissturnsfav]

𝒸𝓁𝑒𝒶𝓃 𝓊𝓅 𝓎𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝒶𝒸𝓉 | 𝘤𝘩𝘳𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘰𝘭𝘰

you and chris have had a pretty toxic on and off relationship for about 3 months now. when you go to a party with the triplets and a few other friends, you decide to try to make chris jealous—only because he just loves to fuck other girls and rub it in your face—but he fixes up your act real quick.

ᰔᩚ bf!chris, toxic!chris, rough!chris, use of alcohol, sub!reader, dom!chris, smut, unprotected p in v, hair-pulling, dacryphilia (kinda?), degrading, pet names, ass slapping, slight angst, use of y/n

ᰔᩚ w.c. 2,667

the mansion is booming with house music. sweaty bodies in the full house shift past each other and the stench of alcohol along with a hint of weed is hanging in the air.

you got to the party about a half hour ago and chris was already pissing you off. he wasn't paying attention to you at all, just giving in to the countless girls that were up his ass.

you knew he did it on purpose—he does this every time you guys go out together—but it still made your blood boil every time.

you are stood in the kitchen, a red solo cup filled with vodka and cranberry juice held up to your lips as you pretend to listen to your best friend—brooke—babble on about drama.

"y/n, are you even listening?" brooke groans after taking a long swig from her own cup.

you sigh, shaking your head, "i'm sorry brooke, i just fucking can't with chris."

brooke rolls her eyes, not wanting to hear about chris again since it was all you talked about. you were always telling her and the other girls about a new argument every single day. "what did he do now?" she asks blankly.

you point towards the living room—which was an open floor to the kitchen—giving you and brooke a perfect view of the people in there. your finger points at chris who is sat on the couch, some girl sat on his lap twirling her hair around her finger with a flirty smile to which chris returned.

brooke's lips part and she scoffs, shaking her head and taking another sip from her cup, "i can't believe you allow this kid to do this to you."

you sigh, nodding, "i know..." you let out. you knew this isn't the way a good boyfriend treats his girlfriend, but you just couldn't leave him.

"y'know, if i were you, i'd grab a random guy and start dancing with him or something," brooke says with a cheeky giggle.

you turn your head to brooke, looking at her as if she's crazy, "brooke, he'd murder me. i can't even look at another guy without him saying something..."

brooke laughs sarcastically, "fuck that, he does it to you, i'd do it right back. c'mon, let's find you a sexy man," she says, grabbing your arm tightly.

you squirm, unsure about her idea, "brooke, i really don't think—"

"bitch, let's go," she cuts you off, pulling you through the crowd of people in the kitchen to the foyer while you groan the whole way there.

brooke is gazing around the room looking for an option, when she sees nick. "nick!" she calls out.

nick turns his head from the group of people he's talking to. he flashes a smile when he sees you two, muttering a word to the people before walking over. "hey guys."

brooke smiles at him, "we need to find y/n someone to dance with to make chris jealous, have you seen any options?"

nick laughs loudly, "why, what is he doing?"

you explain the scene in the living room to nick and he rolls his eyes, groaning. "i always tell him he needs to start treating you good, but the player in him just won't fucking die."

you nod, rolling your eyes, "i don't think it ever will," you say, taking a swig of your drink.

"okay, anyways, any potential men for her, nick?" brooke cuts in.

nick nods and looks around the room, "i saw a really hot guy a few minutes ago, let me see where he is..." he says as he continues to look around.

nick gasps, pointing to a tall young man with black hair, a tattoo up his arm, dressed in a black t-shirt, black jeans, and lots of silver jewelry, "THERE!" he yells out loud, causing you and brooke to laugh loudly.

"nick! you can't just scream 'there' and then point at someone!" you pull nick's finger away as he uses his other hand to cover his mouth while laughing.

brooke—laughing as well—nods at the man, "he's perfect, y/n go do something, please. you need this."

you feel your heart beating faster and you sigh, taking a long swig of your drink, "i'm gonna need to take a few shots first..."

nick and brooke smile in unison, cheering, "oh, i'm so down," brooke says with excitement, nick agreeing.

you, brooke, and nick have taken about 3 shots together. by now, you're definitely feeling the alcohol and you truly want to go through with this plan.

you see chris in the living room again, but now he's in the crowd of people dancing. he's dancing with a different girl from before. she has her back against his chest—his arms rest on her hips and a red solo cup is in his hand as they sway to the beat. the girl has her arm reached around to play with chris' hair as he whispers god knows what in her ear.

seeing this is making you want to literally stomp over there and beat the girl's face in, but you remember the plan brooke thought up, not wanting to ruin it and ultimately choosing this is a much better idea.

nick and brooke stand a few feet away from the young man you had picked out from the crowd, watching you confidently strut towards him.

you run your fingers through your hair, lips parted. the young man—who is standing in a group of people in the living room—notices you walk past their group. when you both make eye contact as you pass him, you give him a flirty smirk before walking in a made up direction.

before you know it, you feel a tap on your shoulder and you smirk in victory. you turn around to see the gorgeous man you had chosen as your victim.

he stares down at you intently, a smirk plastered on his face as he takes a sip from his cup. "what's your name?"

you smirk back at him, "why?" you slur suggestively.

he chuckles, "fuck that, you wanna dance?" he asks confidently.

you purse your lips flirtatiously, not at all surprised by his cockiness and you nod with a mischievous glint in your eyes.

he licks his lips, nodding and taking your hand softly to lead you to the makeshift dance floor.

luckily, he picks a spot only a few feet away from where chris is dancing with the random whore.

you place your back against the man’s chest, his hands finding your waist as you lean your head to the side below his neck. you can feel his breath on your ear as you sway your hips against him to the beat.

it was only a matter of time before chris noticed, and you couldn't stop sneaking glances at him across the dance floor.

at your third glance, chris makes eye contact with you. you watch his jaw immediately clench and jealousy fills his eyes.

you smirk at him sassily from across the room, turning your body away and the man you're dancing with turns your bodies. you embrace the man, his hands resting lowly on your hips and you stare at chris with cocky eyes over his shoulder.

you watch chris roll his tongue on the inside of his cheek and a scary smirk plays on his lips. suddenly, his hands on the girl's hips fall. she looks confused, calling out to him, but chris ignores her and storms over to you and the man you're dancing with.

when you turn your head to see chris standing beside the both of you, fists clenched together and an insanely jealous expression, you can't help but chuckle a little. "can i help you?"

your voice catches the man by surprise, turning his head to see chris and he furrows his brows in confusion.

chris chuckles at your question, slightly scaring you. his eyes dart from the man to you, and you can't help but worry about what he's about to do.

chris scoffs, ultimately deciding to just possessively grab you by the arm and off the man's body—his eyes never leaving his. you shriek, caught off guard by his actions and spilling some of your drink on the white dress you wore, "chris, what the fuck?!" you groan, immediately patting down your dress with your hands.

chris glances at the mess on the material that hugged your body before looking at the man in front of him who seems very confused as he opens his mouth to speak, "what the hell, man?"

chris just chuckles in response, "touch her again and i'll kill ya," he slurs slightly, anger in his voice. the man just looks at chris dumbfounded and he doesn't even get the chance to respond because chris is now pulling you out of the living room by your arm down a hallway.

"chris! get the fuck off me!" you continuously shout, but chris ignores you and instead pulls you both into an empty bathroom, locking the door.

you stare down at your dress, wiping the stains with your hands but it doesn't seem to do anything.

chris leans against the sink, crossing his arms as he stares you up and down, licking his lips, "you think that shit's funny?"

you look up at him when he speaks, furrowing your brows in disbelief. "chris, i'm not doing this with you."

chris laughs, shaking his head and walking towards you until your back hits the door. he places his hands on the door on either side of your head, leaning his forehead centimeters away from your face. you feel your breath hitch in your throat as his minty breath breezes against your face.

"hm? think it's funny to fuck around like that and be a little whore?" he asks in a voice almost a whisper.

you swallow hard, but try to remain confident, "don't even chris, you love to have whores all over you and never talk to me when we go out, but when i even speak to another man it's a problem."

chris smirks manically, rolling his tongue across his bottom row of teeth, "i dunno where this whole acts comin' from, mama, but it's pissin' me off."

you roll your eyes and stare at him, "what are you gonna do about it?" you slur drunkenly.

chris' smirk only grows and his eyes dart from your lips to your eyes, "gonna fix it for ya," he says wickedly. you feel your heart go to your toes, already feeling yourself getting wet at his words.

chris wastes no time in smashing his lips against yours, his hands possessively moving to your hips, slamming you against the door and you moan softly in response. he takes this as an opportunity to slide his tongue inside your mouth dominantly.

you give in, kissing him back as his tongue soon wins the fight for dominance and he smirks against your lips before pulling away. he turns your body around, bending you over the sink and biting his lip as he stares at you in the mirror.

you stare at him with lust, your swollen lips parted and eyes full of desire to which he chuckles at, licking his lips, "this what you need, hm?" he asks, pulling your dress over your hips as his pants tighten at the sight of your round ass.

you swallow, nodding hesitantly in response. chris laughs wickedly as he unzips his jeans, pulling your thong to the side, "yeah? need your attitude fucked out of ya?"

you watch him in the mirror, blinking slowly in response and he slaps your ass when you don't respond, making you flinch.

he leans his body over yours, his mouth inches from your ear, "say it ma, need to hear ya say it."

you whimper quietly, sighing, "need...need your dick, chris," you slur.

chris nods, smirking in response, "good, cause if you wanna act like a fuckin' whore, i'm gonna treat you like one."

chris leans his body back, pulling his jeans and boxers down just enough to pull his swelled cock out. he wastes no time slamming into you hard, and you gasp loudly at this while he grunts deeply.

chris picks up a fast, hard pace within seconds. you pant, moaning and crying out loudly. your brows are knit together, mouth hanging open, and hands gripping the counter until your knuckles turn white at the overwhelming pleasure.

chris is grunting from behind you, the occasional chuckle leaving his mouth, "yeaaah, fuckin' take it you slut," he growls, slapping your ass as his other hand pulls your hips against him in a rhythm with his own.

your head falls against the counter as you moan loudly, but chris chuckles deeply, yanking your head up by your hair tightly, "nah, gotta watch yourself get fucked like the little slut you are, ma," he tuts. you whine in response, forcing your eyes to stay open as you watch yourself fall apart in the mirror.

you feel tears stinging your eyes as chris pounds impossibly harder into your aching heat as you cry out in overstimulation, "chris!"

chris laughs at you, only gripping your hips with his one hand tighter, "so pretty when you're cryin' f'me."

a tear streams down your face as you feel the familiar knot in your stomach forming and you yelp loudly, "i-i....i'm...g-gonna..."

chris bites his bottom lip and smirks evilly at you through the mirror, "uh-uh. you're gonna hold it f'me, think you can just dance on some random guy?" he chuckles dryly, "fuck atta here w'that shit."

you shriek in overstimulation, your mascara smudging beneath your eyes as your legs quiver, "i-i...chris! i can't!"

chris leans his over your body, slapping your ass as you feel him panting against your ear, "yeah? beg for it then."

you pant breathlessly, your vision blurry from the pleasure and tears, "p-please...please—fuck—chris....i need to cum!"

"tell me how sorry ya are, mama," chris says through grunts.

"i...’m sorry...’m sorry...please..." you beg desperately. chris chuckles at your pathetic tone, leaning away from your ear and snapping his hips harder, "fuckin' pussy so tight...all mine, right, ma? who's fuckin' pussy is this, hm?" he groans.

you whine loudly, feeling your whole body go sore as you give everything you can to not let go right now, "y-y....yours! i-it's all yours, chris! fuck, please...please i gotta cum!"

chris licks his lips through a mischievous smirk, nodding, "yeah, thas right...all mine."

you feel your orgasm uncontrollably about to burst and you cry loudly, "chris! please—shiiit—please!"

chris nods, pleased with your begging as he lets out deep, short breaths as his own orgasm approaches, "yeah, bein' so good, takin’ it so well...cum for me ma, cum all over this cock."

your body immediately lets go, your cum coating chris' dick and he moans in response to the sight of you. you moan loudly, legs uncontrollably shaking as your eyes pinch shut.

"mmm...fuuuck, ma...gonna cum...i'm cummin' for you..." he groans, his thrusts getting sloppier as he helps you come down from your high, watching you in the mirror.

"fuck," chris moans, pulling out and sprawling out his load on your ass. his eyes roll back at the pleasure, groaning.

he looks at you through the mirror and chuckles at your state. your hair is all messed up, lashes sticky, mascara run down your face.

after he cleans you up, he pulls your panties back on you properly and pulls your dress back down, snaking an arm around your waist to stand you up straight.

as you look at yourself in the mirror—still trying to catch your breath—chris pulls his boxers and jeans on while glancing at you, "fix y'self, jesus, look like you just got fucked stupid," he jokes and you roll your eyes, raking your fingers through your hair.

chris rests his hands on the counter, leaning forward while he looks at you in the mirror.

"cleaned up your act, real quick, didn't i? told you i would."

𝗮𝘂𝘁𝗵𝗼𝗿'𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲: i actually really like this but it's a LITTLE graphic and rough but like i love rough LMAO. also this is not good but i low-key love toxic men...

thank you for reading!! <3

@chrissturnsfav ™

[roxiestranger19]

OBX 4 PREDICTIONS

hello only probably like 2 people are gonna see this but I gotta get these thoughts out of my head. My predictions for OBX4!!! (this is mainly gonna be about JJ and Jiara because they’re my favorite)

JJ focused season finally! He’s been my favorite character from day 1 and i’m so glad that there’s hopefully gonna be more of him this season. It looks promising from the trailer but who knows.

JJ AND KIARA!!! Yall im so excited for them to finally be together. All im asking for is one kiss in good lighting and it looks like we’ll get it.

This scene specifically has me screaming and kicking my feet already.

On the topic of jiara i think the writers are gonna make them go through everything in the book. Between Kies parents to JJs dad potentially coming back to jjs impulsivity in general.

3) This leads me to my next point on how i think the season is gonna go in terms of Jiara. In the first couple episodes i think we’re gonna rewind to the 18 month time jump and finally see them together and see them doing all the normal couple shit and it’s gonna be beautiful and wonderful. Hopefully we’ll see how they support each other through their parent drama, mainly kies.

Then I think they’re going to either get in a fight or break up whenever JJ starts being really impulsive with the money like we saw in the trailer. I also think this is where Luke’s gonna come in if he does make an appearance. I think Luke is gonna guilt JJ into giving him money and JJs gonna come to some agreement with him. JJs either gonna not tell kie about it and it’s gonna cause a blowup when she inevitably does find out or she’s gonna know from the beginning and advise JJ not to help Luke but he does it anyway. This is gonna go back to the self sabotaging topics from season 3 and how JJ just can’t realize that his dad is a piece of shit and Kies gonna give him the ultimatum of either her or his dad which he’s then not gonna be able to choose.

If Luke isn’t the reason for a Jiara fight then I believe it will be because of his impulsivity with his life and the money. We saw in season 3 that JJ is willing to sacrifice himself for the good of the group and that’s where the dirt bike racing is gonna come in along with gambling and betting the money. (Bonus points if someone tells him “you’re just like your dad”) This is the point that I feel has the strongest amount of evidence because in the teaser we saw the races and JJ and John Bs conversation on how they have everything to lose now. We also know from the trailer that JJ spent the last of their money so he feels the need to earn it all back himself in the fastest way possible which would be betting on winning the race. Also if Rafe is his competition this is more reason for him to bet everything on the race. I’m gonna guess he does not win the race which is then why they agreed to take on the black beard case.

This then brings us up to date after the 18 month time jump to the ceremony and my previous reasons for Jiara fighting would check out with why JJ and Kie were being so awkward at the ceremony.

Anyways JJ is gonna kinda take the lead with the case because again, he feels like he owes it to the rest of the group since he spent the last of their money and/or gambled it away. He also might think that this could win kiara back although that most likely won’t be the case since all kie wants is for JJ to realize that he matters and she loves him no matter what he has or doesn’t have.

I think that this scene is gonna be Kie explaining these things to JJ. Also as much as i want this scene to be full Jiara lovey dovey steamy shit, i don’t think that will be the case. I actually would be just as happy if this was a “there was only one bed” trope because the rest of the pogues are coupled off and who knows maybe this will lead to a kiss or cute cuddling moment, either way i’ll be happy.

I think that the rest of the season will be filled with angst and tension from JJ and Kie because they clearly are obsessed with each other and can’t just turn off their feelings. I think this will be way more interesting than if they stayed coupled up all season because their whole relationship is fiery banter and let’s face it, John B and Sarah’s relationship is boring compared to Jiara because there’s no drama or fire. Also think about all the protective JJ moments we can get from this especially the scuba scene?! Or when it comes to Rafe. We saw in the teaser that JJ punches Rafe with Kiara in the background. Plus with them “supposed” to be broken up or fighting, but unable to stay away from each other both internally and externally bc everyone else in the group is paired together, we’re gonna get a bit of “forbidden romance” and longing looks and jealousy and tension galore which is gonna make every scene with them together electric. I have no idea how their relationship is gonna end up at the end of the season but i hope they’ll be back at where they were at the beginning during the time jump.

4) In terms of the ending and the other bits and pieces i honestly have no idea where it’s gonna end. I want to say they win and solve the blackbeard case but they have a pretty bad track record with that. Also depending on how many more seasons the show has left is a big component in this. I don’t think the show could go past a fifth season. Also don’t know where the scenes with JJ breaking windows and destroying things fits in. It appears to be in the OBX but who knows.Living for those moments though. this is probably another reason why Jiara breaks up. Could have to do with Rage and Topper or his dad but i have no idea. Maybe Barry is coming for him because JJ did steal from him and Barry used to sell to Luke.

5) Rafe and Topper

don’t have a single clue how they’re gonna fit into this after the 18month time jump. We only really saw them in the OBX or at the bike race. I guess there’s potential for them wanting to get in on the blackbeard case but i don’t really see it tbh. I’m guessing they’re gonna have a separate plot from the pogues or it’s just gonna be slightly related through sarah or something.

6) THE BOMB Here are my different guesses for what this could mean.

JJ dies. this seems to be what everyone thinks but i really don’t see this happening. i don’t think Rudy hates OBX as much as everyone thinks he does i think he just gets caught at the wrong times and everyone reads into it. If they do write him off though i will never forgive them it literally wouldn’t make sense it would destroy me. and it better be a damn good death and be actually really sole crushing and good writing. giving jj a good death would be the least they can do if they choose to go this.

JJ and Kie break up. As i said before i actually think this would make sense for them but i do think it would come to a shock to many people hence them saying that a “bomb is gonna drop on them”

Luke comes back. Again like i said this is pretty likely especially since there’s a leaked picture with luke and JJ in it. In terms of it having huge effects on Jiara, this depends on JJs decisions.

JJs mom. Maybe he suddenly figures out a way to find her or something else i literally have no idea

Rafe and Kiara. Can’t see kiara cheating on JJ. Maybe we finally get to see what happened during kies kook year. Don’t see how that would affect Jiara now though.

Kies parents. Might’ve had more of an impact on their relationship during the 18months but i can’t imagine that’s the reason for something blowing up between them after that since they don’t care about their opinion

time for my really crazy theories

pregnancy. kie getting pregnant would be a bomb. don’t imagine the writers doing this because it’s just not that type of show but it would make things interesting. especially if she finds out while they’re broken up or fighting, it would add a lot more tension and jj would be a lot more protective of her.

Luke and Anna. in season 2 luke mentions something about knowing anna. Always thought that was an interesting point. Maybe they had something going on in high school and when JJ and Kie figure that out if kinda deters them and makes them question a lot. idk these are crazy.

jj and sarah share a mom. always liked this theory. think it has possibility but very unlikely. don’t think this would relate to the plot very much or impact Jiara.

anyways that is all. If you read all the way through this i appreciate you.

[batsplat]

wait, is there a dovi/jorge feud???? i didn't know this!! also thank you so much for all you do for this community ❤️

not the only ask I've gotten about this and... look, rather than doing a proper write up that would take forever, I'm just gonna give my top ten fun... facts? bits of trivia. tidbits related to the two of them. quite long tidbits, on second glance. the highlight reel, if you will

(1) that time andrea dovizioso made 14 year old jorge lorenzo cry

the two of them already raced each other before the start of their grand prix careers, competing for the first time in 2001 in the cev when dovi was around 15 and jorge around 14. in riveras tobia's biography, here's jorge talking about their first fight:

I led the way at the start and Dovizioso and I escaped. It was our first head-to-head encounter, the first time we raced each other. My dad had heard that Dovi was a really clever rider and he warned me before the race. But just like in 1998 at Jerez, with Olive, I acted like a dummy and pushed for the whole race. I kept looking behind me to see the bastard still there! It was impossible to shake him off, he was watching me the whole race until the last lap. Three comers from the end I could hear his engine getting closer and I saw his shadow to my left, but he didn't come past. I thought to myself "This guy is going to try something in a second!" I decided I had to on a tighter line and close the door. Sure enough, Dovi went wider through that comer and then dived up the inside. I didn't close the door in time and tried to get in his slipstream, desperately hoping I could get him the next corner, but I ran wide and he won. I came back in tears, I didn't even want to go to the podium, I felt so cheated. I'd been on the limit for the whole race and I felt like I deserved the win more than he did.

so that's a nice and positive start! there's something charming about how even fifteen year old dovi was an absolute menace on last laps

also about that race:

'Jorge beat Dovi in Braga but in the previous race at Most, what a tantrum!' recalls Juanito, laughing. 'He didn't even want to go to the podium, he was crying like a baby! I can still see Dani (Antatriain) talking to him, trying to convince him. In the end he went but he didn't want to look at anybody.'

(2) the photo finish

in 2004, they were rivals in 125cc - a year in which dovi claimed the title and jorge was p4 in the standings. in the very first grand prix ever at the lusail circuit (pretty eventful weekend, you have to say), jorge and dovi crossed the line at the exact same moment

(3) dovi's top three favourite career win

dovi and jorge progressed through the categories at the exact same rate, and after their 125cc rivalry they continued fighting in 250cc. they were title rivals in both 2006 and 2007, with jorge's aprilia winning out both times against dovi's underpowered honda. (the general pattern was that dovi clawed back a bunch of points from jorge in the wet - jorge, with perhaps the exception of a few years in the premier class until around 2013, has never been much of a wet weather racers, while it's always been one of dovi's strongest traits.) for dovi's 300th career start in 2019, he was asked what his top three wins were - and one of his picks was from way back when in 2007

I'd recommend the race! which... well, I did in the race rec post - and I can only reiterate that these two kids do not acknowledge each other, not good vibes at all

(4) jorge's thoughts on young dovi from 2008

Jorge has a lot of respect for Andrea Dovizioso and feels that his two 250cc world titles have even more prestige because he had to beat the Italian to win them. 'You wouldn't label Dovizioso as fast, particularly, but he's much faster than he looks. He doesn't set many pole positions but he is always up front in a race, fighting to win. He is very intelligent and you can't trust him an inch on the last lap. He has been faithful to Honda, he has great belief in them. His negative side is that he tends to play the victim too much. He'll say that if his bike had a better engine or if it was a bit faster he would win. He's even said that if he was on the same bike as me he'd give me a hiding. I think he looks for excuses too often sometimes, but as a rider and a person I don't have a bad word to say about him.'

some dovi traits read as very familiar, from how he's a better racer than qualifier to the intelligence to the last lap prowess. as for jorge saying dovi plays victim too much? well

also this:

ER: Don't you think that Dovizioso wanted to be World Champion too in 2006 and 2007? Don't you think he gave everything to achieve it? JL: He will think he gave his maximum but he will be lying to himself because nobody does that. Nobody gets close to their maximum, not even me. He will think that he didn't win because he was riding a Honda. There are very few sportsmen who will say, I deserve what happened to me and there are no excuses. I didn't know how to do any better and I've done things wrong.' That is the only way to be the best, the only way. People who make excuses don't get to the top. I know riders who haven't made it for just that reason.

plus ça change

(5) jorge's thoughts on young dovi from 2018

when they were doing their thing as ducati teammates (bickering), here is one of the things jorge said about dovi:

dovi's been trying to undermine jorge's morale his WHOLE career... even when they were but teenagers... love it when you can really tell someone's been sitting on something for over a decade

(6) "also lorenzo is not my friend"

both of them moved up to motogp in 2008, jorge with factory yamaha and dovi with satellite honda. dovi had a very strong rookie season and finished in p5, only sixteen points behind jorge in p4 (who after a promising first few races had spent a lot of time that season crashing). after that, their fortunes diverged. dovi did not have a particularly happy time in the factory honda team and needed to do some shrewd negotiating to be retained by them for 2011 in that three-man squad, while jorge of course won the championship in 2010

here's a deep cut from 2011, a season where much of the excitement and drama was caused by marco simoncelli alone. jorge had exchanged tense words with sic in estoril, one race before simoncelli was responsible for a crash where dani broke his collarbone. the crash and sic's subsequent penalty meant that the three-way fight between jorge, dovi and valentino became one for the podium, with dovi and valentino eventually grabbing the two remaining spots behind casey. but during the race, jorge had executed a... questionable manoeuvre on dovi, one that did have some similarities to the sic/dani incident. given jorge's strong previous comments on racing standards, unsurprisingly the journalists pounced on this incident in the post-race presser and ask the podium sitters about it. here is the clip:

in this clip, dovi essentially says it was a dangerous move from jorge, but he wasn't sure what jorge's intent had been and he needs to watch the footage again. valentino (who had been the most outspokenly critical of sic of the three of them earlier in the presser) takes the opportunity presented to him to have a bit of a potshot at jorge. he says that dovi doesn't have the best relationship with sic but jorge had done something pretty similar in the race... at which point dovi goes "also lorenzo is not my friend"

which, you know. not exactly a major incident, but I find it very charming dovi felt the need to clarify that, actually, he doesn't like either of them. valentino also adds that by jorge's own standards, surely he too should have gotten a penalty. not exactly a meeting of jorge's biggest fans hm

(7) mapping eight-gate

well I can't leave it out, can I

so in 2017 jorge switches from yamaha to ducati and does not have a great time of it. a lot of weekends, he's just too slow, other times he shoots to the front of a race at the start (typically not great news for the rest of the field in his yamaha days) and then chews up his tyres before gradually dropping like a stone back through the field. at some point that year it became a bit of a running gag - especially when you saw he was the only big name to be picking a soft tyre and just went... buddy we ALL know how this is gonna end....

while this was happening, his teammate dovi was for the first time in his premier class career in championship contention. an extremely close title fight throughout the year with five protagonists until pretty late in the season, it eventually went to a title decider in valencia between dovi and marc. you know, the kind of year where every point counts. the race where marc put a bit of daylight between himself and dovi was phillip island, with marc winning a great dogfight out front while dovi had a bit of a horror show of a weekend. this meant that a lot would have to go right for dovi to have a chance of still winning the title... and sepang was already a match point race for marc

ducati had not won a championship since their 2007 title, courtesy of one casey stoner. after that year, their bike became steadily less competitive every season, reaching a nadir around the 2011-13-ish period. so by the time 2017 rolled around, they wanted this so so badly - even if they wouldn't have expected dovi to lead the charge. dovi had only narrowly beaten out iannone in the 'who's going to be fired for our shiny new lorenzo hire' contest of 2016, and really it was supposed to be jorge who was carrying ducati's dreams on his shoulders. but, never mind, they were throwing everything behind dovi now... no stone left unturned

which brings us, of course, to the subject of team orders. this discourse really took off at the penultimate race of the season at sepang, but was already brewing before that - and in phillip island, satellite ducati rider redding had been told early in the race to let dovi past

here from marc at sepang:

dovi had been in great form all weekend at sepang - and with his wet weather prowess being what it was, really there shouldn't have been any need for team orders at all. but he got a sluggish start, and the race unfolded from there... until eventually jorge was in first, dovi was in second and marc in fourth. in those positions, marc would have clinched the title there

and then, jorge got a message on his dashboard. suggested mapping: mapping 8. pit boards and dashboards and all sorts of boards will feature various codes during races, most of them completely innocuous - but of course they are a healthy source of all sorts of conspiracies. the timing of this one was certainly... notable, and speculation immediately started about how it might be a way of telling jorge that he should swap positions with dovi

jorge didn't end up letting dovi pass - it is questionable whether he really would have done so with what would have been his first ducati win on the line. in the end, he made a mistake that let dovi through so that dovi claimed the win anyway, keeping himself in mathematical contention in valencia. and jorge did say afterwards he was keeping dovi's title hopes in mind, kind of

jorge also said he hadn't gotten any message indicating team orders, and of course nobody at ducati confirmed that mapping eight did have anything to do with team orders

for what it's worth, this is what dovi said about their relationship at this stage:

lovely! let's see what the vibes are like a few months later

anyway, onto valencia. this race was pretty boring despite being a title decider, but the jorge/dovi bits were just unequivocally the weekend's most enjoyable aspect and rather nicely spiced up the whole thing. dovi's chances were always slim going in, given he'd have to win the race and marc would have to barely get any points at all... but still, you never know, right? marc could always crash (narrator: he did almost crash). jorge plays coy early in the weekend about the whole 'helping dovi out thing', and basically just started putting in place...? ... very specific conditions...? under which he'd help:

so during the actual race, dovi got stuck behind jorge in p5, with marc ahead of both of them. valencia is traditionally not a fantastic track to overtake at... so even if dovi had been faster, it's not like he'd have an easy time clearing jorge and cracking on. but they were beginning to drift further away from dani in p3 as ducati watched on, increasingly unamused by what was happening - and the tv cameras were of course kind enough to repeatedly show the ducati box looking deeply unamused. again, they went for the good old mapping eight message, which, hey, that could mean anything! they sure did keep showing it to jorge though, almost like he wasn't paying attention to it

eventually, they abandon all subtlety and go for a pit board message that does just straight-up tell jorge to swap positions. jorge kept ignoring the messages, lap after lap, and he never ended up letting dovi past. eventually they both crashed and marc claimed the title with a p3 finish, so it wouldn't have mattered anyway, but... still. the feeling was that this might things rather awkward inside of ducati

publicly, ducati was extremely keen to smooth over the whole controversy, saying they totally weren't mad at jorge blatantly ignoring team orders. jorge had, after all, explained to them (and the media, repeatedly) that he had totally been intending to help dovi by dragging him closer to dani

Giving his take on events, Lorenzo acknowledged that he ignored Ducati’s instruction because he felt Dovizioso’s chances would be boosted by having him directly ahead. “Even looking at this [dashboard] suggestion, I keep pushing until the end, because I knew it was the best thing for me, for Ducati and for Dovi,” said Lorenzo. “I helped him to improve his pace by one or two tenths, to be as close as possible to the first group. My intention was, and it was the case, that we arrive at the first group. If he had the option to win, I would have gone wide and let him pass. But unfortunately it was not like that. Maybe in some corners Dovi was close and I slow down a little bit his pace, but in general terms, having my wheel in front of him made him improve slightly his pace. I helped him stayed closer to the front group. “I knew Dovi was struggling, I knew his pace during all the weekend, and I knew he was making the best pace of the weekend just in the race. It was [because of the] help from my wheel. I’m happy because I was not wrong. If I was wrong and slowing him, I would be very sorry. But it’s not like that, my feeling was true.”

which, you know. is it really that easy to tell how much faster you are than someone who's sitting on your rear tyre? who's to say. dovi did certainly seem rather keen to get past

anyhow, of course there were plenty of fun dramatics post-race:

'our rider ignored team suggestions not team orders' is a great line, fairs. there's plenty more of this from ducati, some excellent spin doctoring - and dovi was extremely magnanimous about what had happened:

the whole thing was pretty undignified from all non-dovi parties, but it was also very funny so who's to say if it was bad or not

(8) runner-up-gate

let's check in on them in 2018, the second and ultimately last year in which they were teammates. remember that 'undermining morale' quote from above? those are from early 2018, after dovi says he wouldn't be surprised to see jorge elsewhere the following season. so, once jorge has complained that dovi had been trying to put him down his entire career, comes this:

so that's something. jorge, dovi and dani have a three-in-one crash in jerez, after which some fingers are pointed but it all remains fairly civil, and a bit later dovi says that jorge's approach doesn't work at ducati:

by the summer break, jorge's results had gotten better, but it was already too late to save the relationship with ducati and they parted ways. anyway, here's dovi and jorge having another go at it:

And while a rough patch for Dovizioso coupled with breakthrough back-to-back wins for Lorenzo in Mugello and Barcelona have now left the pair just three points apart in the standings, Dovizioso refused to back down from his claim when speaking to Spanish sports daily Marca ahead of the upcoming Brno race. “He’s won two races,” Dovizioso said. “Winning two races does not solve the problem of a year and a half. Lorenzo was not signed to win two races. Therefore I do not change my mind.” When the comments were put to Lorenzo, the three-time champion offered an ardent retort, stating that Dovizioso's rhetoric was proof of the claim he'd made back in April. “I'm a bit fed up with this situation, mainly because when I had trouble and he was winning, I was down there applauding,” Lorenzo told Spanish broadcaster Movistar. “What I said in Argentina - and the comments caused a big surprise - you can see that I was right. “He tried to undermine me, or downplay what I achieve or just attack me. As you can see, I wasn't lying. He's still doing it and now he says my method is not good, according to him.” Lorenzo intimated that Dovizioso was in no position to criticise him, as the Italian could do no better than runner-up to Marc Marquez in a 'perfect' 2017 season. He said: “I think my method has not worked too bad in my career. I've won three MotoGP titles and have 46 wins.” “In my second year in Ducati I'm usually faster than him, but maybe I should look at his method closer if in his best season, with everything going perfectly, he was second. Otherwise he's fourth or seventh usually. I'd tell him to leave me to go my way and to focus on his own and everything will be better, because when you have an angry Lorenzo it's usually worse for you.” 

fair to say that by this point the pretence at civility has mostly been dropped. I'm rather fond of the "lorenzo was not signed to win two races" line, though "when you have an angry lorenzo it's usually worse for you" is also really strong stuff. dovi tries to restore a little bit of peace:

Responding in turn to Lorenzo's tirade, Dovizioso sought to play down the conflict. “Jorge has his ideas and I think they are based on particular things. I don't think like him, but it's not a problem,” he told Movistar. “Everybody creates their own ideas based on what they see and how they live. “I don't think he has everything clear in his head about what's happened, but we continue the relationship that we started last year with respect, there's no particular problem. If he thinks this way, that's his problem."

so basically the classic 'idk what he's on about but it's not my problem' approach to attempting to defuse feuds

(9) twitter-gate

there's a few more on-track battles where it's nicely obvious how badly they want to beat each other, with jorge beating marc just ahead of dovi in austria and then dovi beating jorge in brno. jorge's season is increasingly derailed by injuries, which sets the stage for their next big spat:

The row was sparked by Dovizioso's comments to Sky Italia after qualifying at Sepang on Saturday, as he was asked what he thought of Lorenzo having to pull out of the Malaysian GP weekend with injury. "I don't know the details, I don't want to get into this, it's a bit of a strange situation," said Dovizioso."It happens often in Ducati or to certain riders, but I don't understand the details and I don't want to get into it and give my opinion." When it was put to him he was offering 'cryptic words', he added: "I leave things there, it's not my problem."

pretty vague, yeah. but anyway, I'm sure jorge had a proportionate response to this

Dovizioso's comments prompted a series of irate posts from Lorenzo on Twitter, with his first reaction being "Thank you very much @AndreaDovizioso! You are a real gentleman!". In his next post, he went on to call Dovizioso "an exemplary teammate", adding: "You applaud him under the podium when he wins and then... (That's right, he does not give his opinion, it's not his problem)." After that, Lorenzo labelled Dovizioso "envious" and described him as "a world champion... in 125cc."

the podium thing really bothered him, don't you think. their ducati in-fighting follows that general pattern where dovi says something... a little shady, a little ambiguous, where his intentions aren't entirely obvious... at which point jorge goes all in at fighting back and has a go at dovi - often not as much for what dovi is actually saying, but what jorge thinks dovi is implying. which is based on his understanding of dovi, the image of dovi he's built up in his head over the years, so that he is... predisposed to think ill of the intentions of the 'intelligent' dovi who always knows exactly what he's saying

again, dovi tried to downplay the argument, while simultaneously not exhibiting much patience for jorge's stance:

After the Malaysian GP, Dovizioso was asked about Lorenzo's responses to his comments, and the Italian accused his teammate of reading too much into headlines. He said: “Why should I talk to Lorenzo? I do not waste time on these things. He makes the usual mistake of giving too much importance to what is written, even without the context. "I have not pointed my finger at anyone and I have no problem with Jorge."

if I were ducati, I probably would've let the whole thing blow over given jorge was off soon anyway. but they decided the whole thing was so bad they had to organise a peace summit

Asked about the situation, Ducati sporting director Paolo Ciabatti admitted to Motorsport.com that the Bologna marque has already planned to sit its two riders on Tuesday in Milan to make it clear what its priorities are. Ciabatti said: “It is clear that the interests of Ducati come before personal problems between riders. On Tuesday we will be together in Milan, for the EICMA [motorcycle show] and we have in mind to spend half an hour to sit and talk to Jorge and Andrea. "We want to avoid similar things to what happened last weekend. "I understand that these kinds of situations can happen. Sometimes riders get nervous during a Grand Prix weekend and on a rainy day, with tricky conditions, sometimes they say things they shouldn’t have said."

god knows how that turned out

(10) wow, you guys aren't gonna let this go, huh

late 2020 and jorge's career is already over, while dovi's looks like it will be... paused, at the very least. which is always a good time to check in with riders on how they feel about their rivals - if they're still being nasty you know that shit was personal. from december:

some quality petty material here. "I can't understand his somewhat peculiar mind" vs "he was envious of me since 250cc, but I wanted to give our relationship a chance". note too jorge talking again about how generous he had been in the face of dovi's 2017 successes, and how he feels like this was not reciprocated at all. jorge's complaints don't stop there:

merry christmas!

not the only rider jorge has beefed with post-retirement, but compare and contrast with how he really hasn't been doing any of that with some of his biggest career rivals. valentino, marc, dani - sure, he still talks about the controversies he's had with them pretty regularly (to put it lightly), and he's hardly free of complaints... but mostly it's a distinctly nostalgic tone he's adopting with these guys. admittedly, it helps that none of those three have gone out of their way to say anything particularly inflammatory about jorge. still, the absolute lack of any sort of rapprochement with dovi of all people is pretty funny

bonus: that time when jorge skittled all of marc's rivals

you know how in catalunya 2019, jorge took out like? all of marc's major rivals in that era including himself in one go? with half a decade of hindsight, this was kind of hilarious, and it did also feature jorge having to eat a hell of a lot of humble pie and go to the three other blokes to apologise. anyway I have a lovingly assembled set of screenshots of all three of them emoting in their boxes after the incident, all suffering some form of an existential crisis. here is dovi contemplating the bleak realities of our brief lives on this planet:

truly one of the world's least enthusiastic waves

bonus 2: another one for old time's sake

already posted this elsewhere, but this from late 2023 made me laugh

"jorge came to ducati and thought he was going to beat everything, but in the end he didn't" uh huh

[thisshitisridiculous]

reading fics makes me really want a storyline about chris being old enough to stay home alone. i mean the boy is like 13 now, he's been on a date, had girlfriends (plural). i think i started going home from school and being home alone for a few hours in like 6th grade so when i was like 11. but i mean i didn't live in la. and also never overnight. but like in the show there's always some mention or scene about who's looking after chris when eddies at work or goes out. and that made sense when he was younger obviously but now im like ?? so is this kid just never by himself?? he's like a full teenager now (or cusping pre-teen idk) he's probably gonna start wanting alone time from the adults in his life soon. i mean especially if the show continues on after season 8 he's gonna be in high school !

[xoxo-ren-xoxo]

really weird thing ive noticed lately re: hermits getting critiqued for stuff theyve said or done is that as soon as someone holds a shit opinion (even if it's just them being stupid, or a centrist, or saying a bad word without knowing what it means, or whatever) people immediately seem to flock to the 'this guy should die' 'kys' 'why are we giving this person a platform' rhetoric and like. that's not how meaningful change is made?

like, yeah, if one of my beloved CCs posted a tweet or video tomorrow about how much they hate gay people, or believe in conservative ideals, or they just said a bunch of slurs or whatever (these are hyperbolic examples obviously) then yeah, fuck them, they should go rot. but like, having some dumb takes, or saying bad things in the past, doesn't = evil terrible person...

idk, i feel like we can critique content creators without getting so insane about it. like, shit, there are things some of my favourites do that i don't like, but theyre not even really worth bringing up tbh. unless its something actually important, i feel like it just creates more drama out of nothing and all these assholes come crawling out of the woodwork to tell everyone how much they hate that creator. or find their content boring anyway so clearly they have no real merit to anyone.

more of an explanation of what i mean in the tags but yeah.

[docnukes]

Oc stuff featuring Robert (@freyoru)

The only time you get to see younger Vlad is in fact in a stupid meme redraw

[colorful-horses]

My review of Miraculous Ladybug S5 so far is that it has a lot of scenes that I like in theory, but in action just end up being very silly and way over dramatic

[answermywearyquery]

vegas (kinnporsche) wishes he had the kind of relationship with his cousin as korn (4 minutes) has.

[mamawasatesttube]

sometimes im hit by the urge to do a massive overhaul on sotm and rewrite the entire first half of it now that ive read more comics and have more opinions. like i probably won't bc i have other stuff i wanna write but also im like constantly tempted by the idea of completely redoing ch3 bc i want kon & kara bonding augh

[dnangelic]

tbhhh i've said this before but there are like a million ways to write dark's speech in eng because there's no good 1:1 for him.... all nuance is forever lost he's both casual yet still eloquent all at once and esp with my portrayal/natural writing style i Do have to put a lot of thought into his dialogue sometimes so that he doesn't resemble krad('s keigo) when he's not being sarcastic. in jp dark's forms of speech and mannerisms are overly casual no matter what which can be taken as outright vulgar in english (guy who waxes deep ass poetics but like in a casual bro to bro way-) and he does basically cuss / have the occasional 知るか or くそ equivalent. the angrier he gets the more he drags out his words and growls plus he uses a LOOOOT of english which?? eng is eng in eng man. its not cool and ~stylish~ like its supposed to be in jp but it's fine whatever the point is whenever i consider this + how many variations of dark there are across all of dnangel media and how subtly varied his portrayals are too i feel like daisuke looking back on his family history telling himself 'wow i sure haven't met a lot of darks'

[zhinee]

looked at old pics of myself at the wrong time and now im crying.,

[batsplat]

casey also talks about sepang 2015 what do you think of that

oh in that podcast? uh... lemme listen again...

yeah idk it's not really anything new I'd say? he's said basically all the same stuff in more interesting and extensive ways elsewhere. I think casey inevitably has a very 'well feuding is bad and helps nobody' point of view, has expressed that before in the past, does it here again, and he's also drawn a parallel between himself and marc on several occasions. which... well, of course there's similarities in terms of public discourse or whatever, but the parallel really falls apart whenever casey argues the feuds cost valentino. like, I do think it's sometimes important to just. keep in mind. it's interesting that casey draws this comparison in his mind but that doesn't necessarily means he's right about this. I'm not sure how you'd argue that starting a feud with casey cost valentino anything competitively? you can argue it didn't help him I guess, and then we can have a debate about the ins and outs of the 2008 season. we can also have an argument that in a hypothetical world where casey isn't ill in 2009, valentino doesn't break his leg and casey isn't on a piece of junk in 2010, and valentino isn't on a piece of junk in 2011-12, then actually maybe valentino sparking open animosity with casey COULD have cost him. but we don't know that! didn't happen! I wish we could have found out, but we never got the chance! as it stands, the tally on this is pretty straightforward: casey won the title when things were reasonably civil between them in 2007, and valentino took control of the following season at the exact moment he worsened the relationship between the pair of them in 2008. obviously, it's all more complicated than that and casey would of course argue laguna didn't negatively affect his subsequent performances... but it certainly didn't help them. like, at the very worst valentino escalating tensions in 2008 is a complete net neutral. after 2009, them being bitchy to each other every other tuesday was completely competitively irrelevant beyond maybe affecting how they approached occasionally fighting for a podium position. hey, maybe casey used that feud to fire himself up through sheer spite throughout the later stages of his career, but that doesn't actually support his anti-feud stance - it's basically the exact same thing as what valentino does. they're both quite similar in that regard! always so hungry to prove a point, to show how someone else is wrong. kinda half the point with this feuding business is to get yourself going, get yourself motivated, yeah. he straight up openly admits to using yamaha's repeat rejection of him as a way of giving himself motivation, and at the end of the day that's really not all that different?

anyway, what else does casey say... oh yeah, that him and the other aliens were already kinda prepared for this and had learned vale's tricks. that valentino had only been able to get into the minds of the previous generation. welllllll *wiggles hand* sure, I mean, he did clearly have to change his approach... he couldn't just use the exact same playbook to get to them, either on-track or off-track. but that's why he did change up the playbook... again, whether you want to believe valentino won his final two titles 'in the head' rather than just through pure pace kinda depends on how you assess the evidence, but it is at the very least a debate. and, y'know, it's always worth remembering that valentino's most important mind games with casey didn't happen in a press conference... it was on the track. and the on-track stuff really is just embedded in how valentino approaches winning. speaking of aliens, this is what dani and jorge have said:

like, valentino's entire approach to his riding, even to the way he's setting his bike up, is deliberately about directly fucking with you... he's not actually always trying to be faster than you as much as he's trying to give himself the tools to make your life miserable, to pressure you into mistakes, etc etc... and again, especially with casey (if anything because he was so mentally sturdy), the off-track stuff was really just window dressing. (I know they bicker a lot after 2009 but it's just so fundamentally irrelevant to actual on-track competition.) so you can be aware of those tricks, but it also doesn't necessarily help you when someone's being nasty to you on-track in a way you just fully do not enjoy. which is what it was like for casey! for casey, a lot of this comes back to the truly unpleasant context of how he was perceived by the public, how he was treated as mentally weak or 'broken' or whatever partly because he had the misfortune of coming up against a bloke who had the reputation for breaking rivals. I think it's quite natural to end up with a bit of a hardliner 'actually I've never been mentally affected by a result in my life' stance - and of course casey is a lot tougher than a lot of people give him credit for. that being said. sometimes your rivals affect you, shit happens, it's part of the game. it's fundamentally a nice idea to think that valentino's tactics weren't just morally wrong but also ineffective, which is kind of the appeal of this narrative, right? you want to believe you're above that, you want to believe you were adequately prepared and wise to valentino's tactic. it's unsurprising and understandable that casey does tend to tell the story that way, but again it's *wiggles hand* also hard to describe it as completely factual

uh. what else. oh I'm thrilled casey does canonically know valentino and marc were friends, he has said he wasn't following motogp too much during that time period so you couldn't be sure of that. does this mean anything? does it tell you anything? well, no, but it's just a pleasing thought to me. I like that. oh also 'provoking particularly aggressive riders isn't a good idea' is kinda a funny take from casey? like, he of all people would hate the idea of being cowed by someone's reputation like that... casey's right that provoking fast riders can potentially be dangerous, but y'know I do think that's probably not news to anyone almost nine years later. um. that's all I've got I think

[dawntheduckrb]

He's staring at me while I'm trying to read a journal

[elftwink]

saw a video about 2 player ttrpgs and one of them was like "this one's about a pretend marriage" and i was like oh? and i looked it up on itch (eyes on the prize, fyi) and it's 50% as of right now and i was like OH? and i bought it immediately & ive read most of it and i am a big fan. and i KNOW that i have friends who would have fun playing it (it's a 2 player or 4 player game; the 4 player variant has 2 fake couples) but asking them is going to be so cringe. yeah we're gonna make up people and pretend to be them and then pretend to pretend to get married and the characters when they start their pretending they're gonna be like "oh we don't have any romantic feelings towards each other this is strictly plot" but then (get this) they will start to develop real feelings for each other. and we're gonna act it out together and pretend to be them but don't worry! we have no romantic feelings towards one another. this is strictly plot. when WE (irl) pretend to be in love it's actually platonic, unlike the people who we are pretending to be to each other. so do you have like 2-5 hours you wanna dedicate to that next week

and the worst part is that's 100% what i want. like i have roleplayed romance before with friends it is literally not a big deal because the whole point of roleplay is that the character ISN'T you. but with a fake relationship the crushing weight of dramatic irony hovers behind me