#Which would mean 5 to 6 days a week dog school activities

[maximumsass]

Green Eyes of Envy Pt. 6

Author’s Note: Hello my lovely readers!! For all the newbies that come across this Heyyyy!! I have been MIA for a long minute with this series but I got inspired again and boom I wrote for this first time in literally months! I have part 7 almost finished so be on the look out for that!But I’m back to feed your Melissa Schemmenti fanfic needs! And I hope y’all like it!! I feel pretty damn good about it and writing this made my little author heart very happy! Sending y’all all da love and hugs!

Warning: SMUTT, obviously a lot of fluffff!! And an argument which breaks my heart but couples fight gotta keep it real!

Synopsis: Thanksgiving is upon you and Mel and sadly you have made plans to go home for the holiday. Of course both you and Mel are upset about this. Emotions are running high, and someone lashes out! Will you and Melissa be able to makeup before you have to catch your flight home? And if y’all do makeup, will it include bedroom activities? Keep reading my lovely readers to find out!

Word Count: 2.5K+

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

——————————

It’s the week of Thanksgiving and you are going back to Michigan to see your family. This had been planned since August so before you and Jessica Rabbit got together. You didn’t know who was more sad about not being together for your first holiday as a couple.

You were taking a personal day on Wednesday to fly out early and be with your family as much as possible for the short trip home. Of course that meant the redhead couldn’t take you to the airport and see you off because it was the last day of school before break and this made her even more upset. You actually had your first fight about it.

“I’ll take a personal day too and then I can take you to the airport.” Mel said over dinner.

You stopped eating and put down your utensils. “Honey, you know the district is having a sub shortage. And think of your kids, they all will want to say bye to you on the last day.” You say hoping that logic will have her drop the topic.

“But I need to take you to the airport and do the sappy cry fest goodbye before you go through security.” She says looking at you with those puppy dog eyes.

“Mel, I don’t need you to do anything for me. Would it be nice if you could yes, but it’s not a good option so it’s fine I’m a big girl and I can get an Uber.” You say to her and as soon as it’s out of your mouth you wish you could take it back.

She looks at you with disbelief. “Why is it so bad to need me (Y/N)? Do you know how terrifying it is for me to admit to myself let alone to you that I need you. I could’ve easily denied that I need you but I’d be lying to myself just like you’re lying to yourself!” She exclaims and then the tears start flowing down her cheeks.

And then you realize that you’re the asshole in this situation.

You get up and walk towards her slowly to gage where she’s at. Fuck it, you need to hold her and apologize and do whatever it takes to make sure she’s okay.

“Baby I am so sorry. I didn’t mean it, I promise. My mouth and my defense mechanisms got the best of me. If I’m being honest I’m more upset about not being together over break than I’m letting on and I’m just trying to be fine about the whole thing. I know shoving difficult shit down always leads to hurting myself or someone I love. I think I was just trying to protect you from seeing how upset I actually am because I knew it’d make you feel more upset. I shouldn’t have lashed out at you like that and I sincerely apologize. In the future I’ll just tell you how I’m really feeling so it doesn’t build up.” You say looking at her, you holding her hand, your thumb stroking the top of her hand. You stand up and grab a couple tissues and hand them to her.

She wipes her eyes and then gently pulls you onto her lap.

“I forgive you angel, I know you’d never intentionally hurt me. You never have to hide from me. I want to see every part of you. Especially when you’re really upset because I know I won’t be able to fix it most times but I know with certainty that I will love you through it and sit by your side and listen and hold you through it. You just gotta let me in so I can do that. I promise I’m not going anywhere, you’re forever stuck with me. You just have to trust me.” The redhead says softly.

You feel a couple tears slide down your cheeks. You wipe them away and then lean your forehead against hers. “Thank you for forgiving me. I just want to tell you that I do need you. I’m not saying it just to say it I really truly mean it. I need all of you and like you said, it’s really scary admitting that. There’s this part of me that if I say I need you that somehow you’ll end up thinking that I’m incapable, which I know sounds ridiculous. But when one of the top assumptions about me is that I am incapable to do most things because of my disabilities, it’s something that’s always in the back of my mind.” You explain as you play with her hair.

“Oh honey. I didn’t even think about that. That makes so much sense. I know I keep saying this to you but I’ll say it again you (Y/N) (Y/L/N) are my superwoman, you’re the most stubborn, independent, get shit done woman I know, and I know that you can do and get anything you want to…well maybe not cooking.” She chuckles and kisses your head. “But when you let me take care of you, when you let yourself need me it makes me feel so special because you’re so selective about who you let in. Whenever you’re having those thoughts you just need to tell me. And then I’ll remind you how amazing I think you are, how I know you can do whatever it is that I’m doing for you and that it’s okay to let your amazing woman take care of you and need me in that moment. Besides I will always be the needier one out of the two of us, cause you’re just irresistible.” She says smiling at you.

You lean in and give her a long slow desire filled kiss. When you break away she has a big smirk on her face. “We’ve had a lot of sex but we still haven’t had makeup sex yet. Do you think you are up for checking that off our firsts list tonight?” She purs into your ear.

You mirror her smirk. “I think I’m up for our first makeup session.”

“But this is a rare occasion kind of thing miss. Fighting is not who we are. We just need to remember to talk to each other about the hard shit. You’re my safe place and I’m yours, whatever we’re facing we do it together.” She says and you nod in agreement.

Before you know what’s happening she’s takes you in her arms and she stands up and carries you to the bedroom. She lays you on the bed and then she starts undressing you, when she’s done with you she starts undressing herself but slowly to tease you, it’s working and just spikes your desire for her.

You prop yourself up on your arms so you can get a better look at the strip tease she’s doing for you. She finishes by taking off her black lace panties that she knows drive you wild. And then before you know what’s happening she’s on top of you and is kissing you with such desire. Her tongue licks your lips for permission to enter and of course you let her tongue slide into your mouth and dance with your tongue, and you moan into the kiss.

She breaks away for air, and looks down at you like you are the most beautiful thing she’s ever seen. She then goes to your neck and starts kissing, sucking and nibbling, you both know that she’s marking her territory.

Melissa knows and loves how independent you are but she also has this possessive side where you are hers and everyone needs to know it, hence her marking you everywhere possible. And you’re not gonna lie, you think this side of her is so hot! You love that she wants everyone to know that you belong to her.

She works her way down to your boobs, and then she’s licking your nipple and sucking it and you let a stifled moan fall from your lips. She takes your chin in her hand and gets you to look at her.

“I want to hear that gorgeous moan of yours, nice and loud.” She instructs seductively.

She then goes to the other boob and works wonders with that gorgeous mouth of hers. “Fuck Mel!” You moan as your hands grip the sheets.

“There’s my good girl sounding so gorgeous for me.” She says praising you.

She then proceeds to kiss all the way down your stomach and your legs and then she gently licks all the way up and down your folds. Your moans fill the room.

“You’re already so wet for me princess, such a good girl wanting me to fuck you so badly.” She says as she looks at you between your legs.

She then slides her tongue inside you and your hips immediately start grinding against her mouth and your hands go to her hair. She starts rubbing circles on your clit and you feel the heat starting to rise as an orgasm begins to form.

“Oh my god Mel, yes I’m almost there!” You exclaim.

And then she pulls away and gets off the bed.

“What the actual fuck??!!” You whine looking to see what she’s doing. She goes into her closet, rummages around in there and then comes back out wearing the strap.

And you feel a whole different type of desire building inside your pussy.

She gets back on the bed and climbs on top of you. She hovers over your face and then leans down to kiss you softly.

“I’m sorry I left ya high and dry, I just thought that makeup sex needed to involve me strapping you.” She says in a soft but confident tone. All you can do is nod.

She starts rubbing the strap on your pussy as well as taking your juices and putting it on the strap so it’ll enter you with ease. She looks at you for permission to enter and you nod.

She knows that you need her to be gentle and go slowly as she starts. She pushes slowly inside of you and you gasp because having her fill you feels so god damn good. She starts pumping in and out slowly at first as she moves so that you’re face to face again,she takes your hands and places them above your head and then intertwines her fingers with yours as she leans down and kisses you deeply and you both can’t help but moan.

“You’re being such a good girl and taking me so well. You look so beautiful with me filling you.” She whispers to you.

“I’m so close Mel! Fuck!” You yell out.

“Me too baby.” She pants as she thrusts in and out of you. She can tell from your face that you’re about to cum. She thrusts in you a few more times and then says “Cum for me, my beautiful girl.” And you cum all over the strap and she cums seconds later. And then collapses on top of you as you both come down from your orgasms.

“You my dear are truly my sex goddess.” You say as you smile at her laying on your chest.

“Good, then I’m doing my job.” She says softly and winks at you.

“I love ya, ya know.” You say as you stroke her head and kiss her temple.

“I know baby, I love you so much.” She says as she reaches up and caresses your face.

“I would say that’s the best makeup sex I’ve ever had.” You say with a big smile.

“I would definitely agree. But like I said, makeup sex is occasional at most. I hate fighting with you.” She says looking up at you with those puppy dog eyes.

“I know baby. Me too. You’re just too adorable to fight with anyway.” You say with a chuckle.

“I’m only adorable with you. Everyone else I instill fear into their souls!” She says and then chuckles.

“You are rather terrifying in most situations i will say.” You say with a smirk.

“You make me feel safe, ya know. That’s why I’m so soft and loving with you cause you hold space for me where I can bring down my walls and be vulnerable and I know you got me and will love and support me regardless of what I’m feeling on any given day. And that’s a big deal for me. Thank you for being that for me, amore mio.” She says softly and then leans to you and gives you a soft love filled kiss.

“You wanna take a shower together tonight? That way you don’t have to worry about taking one tomorrow morning?” She asks as she pulls out of you, gets up and takes the strap off.

“Awww look at you thinking about future me.” You say as you get up and walk to the bathroom. “You know I’ll never say no to a shower with you.” You say as she follows you into the bathroom.

“You know I always think about you and how I can make your life easier.” She says as she wraps her arms around your waist. She looks at the handy work she did to your neck just moments ago and laughs.

“I’m glad you find the hickeys you gave me so amusing.” You say dripping in sarcasm.

“What can I say, you’ve turned me into a horny teenager all over again! And I just can’t help myself, plus your neck is so irresistible. It makes me laugh because I never felt this way let alone acted like this with anyone even as a kid. And now at 50 years old a little 29 year old comes along and brings it out of me.” She explains as she caresses your neck.

“I love that I brought it out of you.” You say with a smirk.

“Me too baby, me too. Okay shower and then bedtime so you wake up refreshed and ready to embark for Michigan.” She says and then takes you by the hand and into the shower.

You shower and then get into bed, you lie there staring up at the ceiling, feeling sad that you have to be away from Mel for five days.

“You better get your cute ass over here and lay your head on my chest. You know how that helps me fall asleep.” She says as she rolls over to face you.

You roll over and maneuver yourself and place your head on her chest and wrap your arm around her. And you listen to her heart beat and her breathing get slower and slower, as you drift off to sleep in the arms of a woman who is your everything.

“Feel the rain on your skin, no one can feel it for you only you can let it in. No one else, no one else can speak the words on your lips. Treat yourself in words unspoken, live your life with arms wide open, today is where your book begins, the rest is still unwritten!” Blares through your phone into the silent room.

“Fuck my life!” You groan into your pillow as you grab the phone off the nightstand to turn off your alarm. You feel soft kisses being placed on your shoulders and up your neck. It’s Mel’s adorable way of making you feel better in the morning cause she knows you’re not a morning person. And it really does make you feel better.

You turn to face her and are met with her gorgeous green eyes which you could get lost in for eternity and you’d be perfectly content with that.

“Good morning angel.” She says with a big smile as she leans in and kisses you softly. You wrap your arms around her and pull her so that your bodies are intertwined with each other.

“Good morning my gorgeous girl.” You say softly as you give her a sleepy smile.

“I just want to stay like this all day. I can’t believe I won’t see you for five days, it’s gonna be so weird. I’m gonna miss ya so much.” She says and then she lays her head on your chest.

“I know baby, me too. I’m gonna miss you so much. But it’ll go by fast and then I’m all yours to do with whatever you like.” You say with a big smirk.

“Ooo I like the sound of that!” She looks up at you seductively. “We both need to get up and get moving princess.” She says and then steals another kiss and then she rips the sheets off of you both and gets up.

“Fine but only cause you said too.” You chuckle and get up.

Once dressed, Mel goes through a mental checklist with you to make sure you have everything packed.

“You are very cute making sure I have everything.” You say as you put your hands on her waist and pull her in for a hug.

“I need to know you’re taken care of even when I’m not there. Not saying you can’t take care of yourself…” She says but is interrupted by you kissing her.

“I know what you meant baby.” You say to her when you break away as you caress her cheek.

“Good! You’re finally getting it through that stubborn head of yours!” She teases and playfully nudges you.

“Yeah, yeah! I should probably call my Uber.” You say in a more somber tone.

“Because I can’t drive you to the airport, will you at least let me pay for your Uber?” She asks with her big puppy dog eyes.

You knew this was just another way of the redhead wanting to take care of you. “Fine. I’ll let you get my Uber. But you better watch out I could get used to this princess treatment!” You teased her.

“Good! Cause you’re getting it for the rest of our lives together!” She quips back with a big smirk.

Mel gets an Uber for you. A few minutes later she’s notified it’s here. You walk arm in arm outside with Mel of course carrying your luggage. Your Uber pulls up and Mel puts your suitcase in the trunk. You look at her and see her eyes fill with tears. You pull her into you for a tight hug.

“I’ll be back before you know it. And you’ll probably realize how nice it is not to have me around.” You tease her and feel her laugh into your neck. “I’m going to miss you so much. And just know that whenever you think about me, I’m probably thinking about you too. I love you so much, sweetheart.” You say as you stroke her head.

“I’m going to miss you more! I love you so much amore mio. Don’t forget to text me when you get to the airport, when you get through security, when you get on the plane, when you land and when you get to home.” She instructs you as she looks at you lovingly.

“Yes ma’am.” You say with a nod and then you pull her in for a deep passionate kiss. When you break away, she gives you one more quick hug and then opens the car door for you, makes sure you buckle up and then gently shuts the car door.

“You ready to go?” Asks the driver.

“Yep.” You say as you roll down the window and wave to Mel. And you look back at her standing in her driveway watching you leave until you can’t see her anymore.

Onward to Michigan, you think to yourself.

[chaotic-archaeologist]

What does a week in the life of a grad student look like?

So the answer to this will depend heavily on what stage of research you are in. I'll give my answer as someone who is currently in pursuit of a Master's degree, because this is currently my only firsthand experience.

As a Master's student, I am expected to take a certain number of courses, usually about three a semester. Often they meet just once a week, for 2+ hours at a time, and they are discussions/seminars rather than lectures.

On top of that, I have my teaching assistantship, which is contractually for 20 hours/week, but can go above or below that depending on when students turn in assignments.

With that being said, here's a week in my life:

Sunday: A heavy work day, during which I do most of my reading/work for Monday's class, catch up on emails, run errands that didn't get done on Friday. I do not go onto campus.

Monday: In the morning I finish up my reading for class in the afternoon. Depending on how much I have left to do, I will also do administrative tasks for my TAship, or work that needs to be done for my own research. Right now that means filling out internship and fellowship applications. Class from 2:30-5:15, after which I come home and eat dinner. From 6:15-7:30 I do reading for Wednesday's class.

Tuesday: No classes of my own today! If students for the class I TA have submitted assignments, I will spend an hour(ish) working on grading those. I am responsible for grading about 100 papers at a time. I try to spend no more than 2 minutes per paper/quiz. The class I TA meets from 2:30-3:45. The professor lectures while I do work on my computer. I get home and do more reading/work for Wednesday's class.

Wednesday: In the morning I finish any reading/work that needs to be done. If I have been productive in the front half of the week I use this time to run errands or do my own work. If I have not been productive I am cramming for class in the afternoon. Class goes from 2:30-5:15. I come home, eat dinner, and then do reading for Thursday's class until 7:30.

Thursday: In the morning I finish the reading for class in the afternoon. Class meets from 2:30-5pm. I come home and give myself permission to not do any work because my brain is fried and I do not have class tomorrow.

Friday: No class today! I start the morning with therapy, and then this is my day to attend to personal errands. This is mostly grocery shopping, laundry, and tidying. In the evening I often go out with friends to things like hockey games and bar trivia. Sometimes I go to Friday night Shabbat services.

Saturday: This is my day to decompress. I sleep in and then spend most of the early afternoon doing nothing. I paint my nails, read for fun, or take my dog for a long walk. In the afternoon I'll do something social—most weeks this is volunteering with Big Brothers Big Sisters.

Not pictured are daily activities that include, but are not limited to:

Checking email. Seriously, so many emails. I was not prepared for how many emails I would be getting in grad school

Classwork that I need to be turning in like paper abstracts, discussion posts, meeting with faculty

Doctors appointments

Cooking for myself. Trader Joe's frozen meals are a life saver

Attending talks/programs held on campus, usually in the evenings. These are prime time for networking

Hanging out with friends before class sometimes

Miscellaneous meetings

Walking my dog

Evening routines like Duolingo, journal entries, creative writing time, etc.

NAPS

Unexpected crises

Also, keep in mind that as someone living with a chronic illness/disability, I operate with less energy than some of my peers. But overall, my MA schedule is similar to my bachelor's one, but with fewer classes that each take up more time, and alongside working as a TA. My academic commitments with three grad classes are about the same as my undergrad semester when I took six classes.

As always, other people are free to chime in with their own experiences/observations.

-Reid

[purplesurveys]

1658

Are you Guilty or Innocent of these things?

[A/N: Bold means guilty, no bold means innocent, italicized means ehhhhh sometimes I’ll be guilty of this but sometimes not.]

Liking pineapples on pizza I hate pineapple in general so they never go on my pizza. I’m also personally not a fan of the whole pineapples-on-pizza thing but if I see other people preferring them then it’s whatever.

Not drinking enough water I do skip water the whole day then drink a whole bunch of it in the evening, which isn’t the healthiest habit. At night I can probably reach 5-6 glasses.

Calling sick a lot at work Like, using up my sick leave credits? I rarely do so if it wasn’t a legit situation. Generally I also just rarely take leaves as it’s hard to get behind in such a fast-paced industry.

Leaving the dishes to "soak" in the sink a little too long It used to be a habit but not anymore. I hate leaving stuff out for too long and it makes me feel more at ease the sooner I clean up after myself.

Putting things off until last minute Yeah pretty much in all aspects where this is relevant. The only time I’d say I’m not guilty of this is at work because I’m super rigid with deadlines.

Not being able to keep a secret Depends. I’m mostly innocent and can keep a secret but there are exceptions where I can’t help but tell Angela. Making plans and canceling This was sometimes me in college, which I know is SUCH a shitty behavior; but I don’t do this anymore. I’ve experienced people canceling on me hours before said plan and I hate it so I avoid doing it at all costs.

Making impulse buys Yeah...hate this habit. Like I’m always 97% likely to buy something on impulse if I feel like I have extra money on me. A couple of months ago I got a bracelet I knew I was gonna lose in like two weeks anyway (I really did lose it eventually).

Having trouble saying no to others Yup, ESFJ struggles hah. I have a desperate need to please others all the time even if it comes at the expense of my own convenience.

Over spending Very guilty but I’m actively trying to address it now. I haven’t spent on anything in nearly a month, especially after I had to shell out 12 grand for my dog bite vaccinations.

Gambling I have never gambled and will never consider doing so.

Stealing something I’ve stolen an abandoned pen here and there in school, but it’s never gotten anything bigger or more serious than that.

Singing in the shower I’ll occasionally hum extremely softly but I’ve never broken out into song.

Sleeping naked I’ve done it a few times with a partner but I wouldn’t do it on my own.

Making New Years resolutions you can never keep I never make resolutions in the first place.

Being arrested I’ve never been arrested. Pulled over and gotten a ticket, sure; but not arrested.

Not studying before taking tests Might be the Asian in me but that just feels so wrong, lol. I always skimmed over my notes one way or another for every single exam or quiz.

Making up fake reasons to get out of plans with someone Not anymore but I did this a handful of times in college back when I had a partner and wanted to hang out with them instead (ew), or when I’d suddenly get hit with a wave of social anxiety.

Googling your symptoms Well, yeah. I kinda do that for every single inconvenience I experience with my body hahaha.

Peeing in the woods Have never done that.

Regifting a Christmas gift you didn't like Not guilty and would never consider doing this. I always get plagued with thoughts of how the gifter would feel if they found out.

Locking your car keys in the car You know what? Considering how clumsy and forgetful I can be all the time, it’s a miracle this hasn’t happened hahaha.

Road rage Ugh very guilty, especially in college. I know it’s not an excuse but Metro Manila traffic can be extremely frustrating, guys. Couple that with the fact that Filipinos are generally super inconsiderate and unpredictable on the road, and it all makes out to give you just a very stressful experience altogether.

Buying more books even though you have books you havent even started yet I don’t do this with books but have occasionally done this with notebooks in high school.

Wearing pajamas out in public Innocent. I did bring my BTS pajamas for the theatrical premiere of Yet to Come Busan but ultimately didn’t change into them because I got too shy and was afraid that people were going to judge me for wearing pajamas in public haha.

Breaking something and then lying about it For sure, especially when I was younger.

Ignoring phone calls and watching the call until it stops ringing Guilty but I don’t feel guilty about it. Message me first, you rude weirdo.

Petting every dog or cat you see As tempting as it can be, it’s potentially dangerous, so mostly innocent. For pets I’d typically just wave at the dog, then for stray aspins I would pet and interact if they seemed accustomed enough to people.

Cheating at a board game Eh, innocent. I don’t like playing board games anyway.

Dropping an ice cube and kicking it under the fridge I know it melts and evaporates and all but am innocent, that just seems so gross to me hahaha who knows the gunk that hangs out underneath the fridge...if I drop an ice cube I just drop in the sink and let it melt there.

Lying about your age Guilty, once. I wanted to try my first margarita, so I ordered one at 17. The waitress could immediately tell I was a minor though and I was shot down when I couldn’t provide an ID.

Watching cartoons as an adult Guilty, but again I don’t feel guilty about it haha. I literally watched a few Spongebob episodes with my sister yesterday.

Sneaking your own snacks into the movie theater Bringing in your own food in the cinemas here in the Philippines is allowed; you don’t need to sneak anything in.

Littering Innocent. I don’t get what’s so hard about putting your trash in your pocket or bag first.

Cutting your own hair Innocent, that’d be a recipe for disaster if I were ever to do it myself.

Looking for your phone when it's in your hand It’s definitely happened more than once; with my glasses, too.

Folding laundry but never putting it away LOL yeah. Why can I never manage to put it back in my closet? :((

Blocking people you dislike on social media Guilty but unbothered. I get annoyed fairly easily and a block is the quickest and most satisfying way to deal with people.

Giving someone a fake phone number Was never stuck in a situation where I had to do so.

Buying clothing that you never wear Yeah, guilty. It’s always the clothes that looked good on the mannequin but didn’t end up suiting me.

Putting a christmas tree up before thanksgiving Not relevant to me; I don’t celebrate Thanksgiving. My family does put up our Christmas tree in October, but that’s because that’s the practice here in the Philippines. You’d be the weird household if you only put Christmas stuff up literally in December hahaha.

Spending hours on TikTok watching videos TikTok edits are cringey for the most part, but I can spend hours going through IG Reels since the videos there are more straightforward.

[benefits1986]

Social Battery, Social Calendar

I guess my protein-deficient social skills can grow, glow and go more.

Side Note: Tawang-tawa ako 'pag naririnig kong life of the party, above average event organizer and host akong decent from then 'til now. SIGH ng malala.

Perhaps, one of the things I miss a lot during this time of the year is when mother dragon shops with me. Super duper rare times since we just get to this twice --during the start of the school year and holidays. Mother dragon never fails to make our meager ends meet while extending the super thin budget across our extended family members, too. As a lower middle income family, mom never made me feel kawawa especially back in exclusive school days. I guess this is where my "wapakels" vibe about social status and class acts started. In the same light, mom always made a point to keep me super duper grounded and delulu. She told me so many times that one day, I'd get my Samsonite luggage and travel the world. Nothing less than Samsonite, anak. 'Di na kita masasamahan kasi abala lang ako. Takot ako sa eroplano. She pushed so hard that I almost choked.

Mother dragon knew I hate social spaces and she fucked me hard all the way. Every time there's a program or activity, she would make me the tribute to the point that she connives with faculty members, classmates and even the parents of my classmates and schoolmates, too. I said that I was never part of any expensive social groups, however, mom made sure I take part in school stuff that meant stretching my frail social muscles to the core. These include: reading responsorial psalms, writing, debates, speeches, leadership, more leadership, and more leadership stuff. UGH.

I guess one of the things that made her meager fund bleed so badly is when I bulldozed my way to a dance concert because it had CCP - Nicanor Abelardo x Ramon Obusan badge on it. LOL. Akala niya lahat kaya niya a. Since I have two feet, mom made it look like a bet. She won't assist me in any form and that I'd have to power up my frail self. I told her, okay. And the rest is history. While I made it to the Nicanor Abelardo stage, I cried so many times because dancing is not in my gene, and I had a really, really bad case of ulcer. LOL. Not bad, right? Mapilit lang. Syempre, mom lambasted me, but, she did what she could to score precious tickets for him and dad. Dami rin niyang tinipid noon para makakuha ng "best seats" which meant kinda near and center ng stage. LOL. Opak. She was so worried about me and my friggin' ulcer but wala naman na siya naggawa kasi bawal parents sa rehearsals. HAHAHAHA. Eat shit, mom!

And so, this December, in between meeting overdue deadlines, I'm allowing myself to be more sociable. That means still being a scrooge but a bit merrier and brighter. CHOZ.

Speaking of which, dad and Vici wanted samgyup and while I am super cutting down on food intake due to a wedding this coming week, mhie, napasabak po tayo sa malalang samgyup. No rice naman since dad is trying to cut down his carb intake. Sabi ng tatay ko, happy siya kasi free si Vici sa samgyup and ready naman daw kami if i-charge si Vici. Actually, gusto ko na agad umuwi kasi dami ko pang gagawin at itatawid, pero ganito lambing ng tatay ko lalo 'pag unang apo niyang si Vici ang involved. He even asked to have their photo taken and nanindak pa na mag selfie stick siya 'pag ayako sila take ng decent photos. LOL. Namiss lang talaga siguro ako ng tatay ko kahit ayaw niya at ayoko rin ng sappy shitballs.

Magandang biz idea 'to noh? Samgyup or unli whatever, one dog free, small or medium breed. LOL. Dami na nagsasarang samgyup na even one of the OGs in Makati Ave area had to close their store na because of the really tough competitions. Dapat talaga ROI ng food is 5 to 6 years na instead of the usual 2-3. Sigh.

Side Note: Got to vape with a restaurant part owner last week and he shared that they have not ROI-ed talaga pa. So he had to pivot. Now, nasa digital na siya in no less than Google PH HQ. Hire number secret na lang muna. HAHAHAHAHA. I told him that I wish him the best and that hustle is the key for life.

While shopping for my drip, I actually asked a lady who's astig about how my drip strikes her. Her kinda bitch boss vibe intrigued me. Usually, mom is my go-to for all sorts of approvals, whether by will or force. Feeling ko nga nisapian ng espiritwal na lakas ng nanay ko 'yung stranger kahapon. The lady told me na I look astig kasi may tats ako and that it's approved. LOL. Tawang-tawa ako then I said thanks. Oh, South, you are wonderland, indeed. Bait pa ng staff and sakto onti pa tao because first hours po tayo nasa mall. 'Di umano, mababa rin ang benta this season compared to the previous one. Hay.

There's so much JOMO vibes right now as I intentionally forego my stories sharing in my feed. While I still have this thought fart spot, mas comfy ako na dito kasi hindi naman 'to optimized AF at all. I really like sharing bits of my people, my tribe and syempre, si Vici, Vidi and sige na nga, si KD. Will try my best to keep this streak until end of December. Or baka sa other account ko na lang since tagal na nung walang galawan. Though, kaya naman lang talaga ako nagpo-post kasi minsan ko lang naman din makasama 'yung mga people ko. Minsan lang din ako mag-full attention sa tatay ko and doggo babies ko. :D Lolollloll. Bahala na. Tignan natin. Nung namatay kasi lola ko, unearthed ko 'yung mindset na: bring memories via snaps and vids. Hindi ako fan ng backgrounds masyado unless may context sila and not about lang pasiklaban ng story. Kaumay much kasi since forever 'yung ganun pero sadly, naging "standard" na siya in the gig economy content creation era. CHOZ. 'Di pa rin ako aayaw kasi now, authenticity is finally a gift, after being a curse for ages. 'Wag na lang paapekto sa cancel culture kasi usually, mga takot naman mga trolls e; real life and online. HAHAHAHAHAHA.

This is also the season of more handmade letters. :) Another trigger turned into glimmer. OPAK. The past years, sobrang onti talaga ng handmade letters ko kasi feeling ko, I've outgrown it na. When a travel buddy dropped a postcard sa post box in Pinspired, sabi ko, iba pa rin 'pag naka-print lalo 'pag mismong sulat-kamay mo 'yun. Ako lang talaga 'yun a. Oks naman digital lalo now. Pero, siguro dahil my soul sisters and my ride or die minus the drama and delulu are outside Pinas, mas gusto ko ng handmade letters these days.

Choosing to be thankful and actually saying thank you with feelings. Eto siguro 'yung social muscle 1UP ko this year. Sungit pa rin ako saka impatient, however, now, I'm trying my best to appreciate the world better. Actually, misjudged lang ako kasi nga RBF saka deep, dark, deadly humor and wit kuno meron ako. Pero, I see things talaga naman.

'Di lang ako big on words of affirmation masyado. Pero, here I am, trying. Like sa tatay kong pakitong-kitong. HAHAHAHA. Drama niya pa is wow naman daw. 'Di na ako super duper sungit and parang gusto ko na ang thought ng existence niya sa buhay ko. Andun na siya sa point na once moving on era na sa Batulao, maliban sa Bianchi niya, may kasama ng plancha na OG nina ina ko from lumang bahay, pati 'yung for upcycling na capiz windows na magiging divider di 'umano. Syempre, kasama Harry Potter poster ko. Hahahaha. Ang feeling close talaga netong tatay ko. UGH. Hahahaha. Pero, makes sense naman talaga mga curated pieces niya. Hassle lang ng moldy vibes plus gubat realities nung space ko.

And today is Monday for grinding. Kagabi, nasa formulation pa rin ako ng solution on the way to the final answer. LOL. Hassle talaga kasi ayoko na namang maging pangabala at maging sanhi ng ragasa ng delubyo, literally and figuratively. Alam ko namang may sagot na ako, pero dapat ma-nail down ko na 'to kung 'di ayoko na talaga. CHOZ.

And, finally, for now, nagka-mix up ang aking social calendar since may mga ganaps na akala ko today pero 'di pala. Hahahaha. Shemayyyy. I'm so excited and scared at the same time. Tagal ko 'tong ni-wait, but 'pag dating talaga sa life goals, I can wait, patiently. CHOZ. Hahahahaha. A good sort of year-ender which I find super duper curious. How curious? Whang-od alamat levels. :D EMEEEEE. Ano kaya susuot ko bukas? Abangan! As an alipining saguiguilid, 'di naman masamang mangarap at mag-hustle our way there noh? HIHIHIHIHIHI. Also, ano kayang bitter bites ng reality ng dream na 'to? Shemayyyy. Need to have grace and grit because the big, bad world is here and now. <3 Big girl enough na nga ba ako? Alamin bukas.

[c-c-cherry]

Jojos Doing Jojo Things (with each other)✨😌

*sweating as the part 5 hc asks start piling up in my inbox*

 *looks at the one that mentions Jonathan*

Hello~~ I’m sorry for being criminally inactive here, I forgot during that long 6 month lockdown that I actually had a real life outside of the internet and now I have to go do real life things?? Instead of doing nothing but writing?? Crimes, I tell you.

I love the idea of Jonathan interacting with all the other jojos so I thought I’d take a little break from part 5 whump headcanons to fulfill this one :D SO HERE’S SOME SELF-INDULGENT HEADCANONS ABOUT JONATHAN DOING FUN LITTLE ACTIVITIES WITH THE OTHER JOJOS BECAUSE I KNOW WE ALL NEED IT RIGHT NOW😭😭😭

◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇

Joseph (lets say Youngseph in this case because shhh)

-Hear me out but KNITTING

-Let this man do some nice calm things please

-Joseph has absolutely no way to connect with Jonathan. Like. Nothing.

-He doesn’t see the two of them as anything alike even though they both have the star, and when it comes to connecting with such a righteous, nice dude he’s a bit :/ about it

-He also doesn’t want to do anything stupid (In his words.) He hates baking, he’s never been into reading and school, and the two can never really click with sports

-Our man Jonathan has searched his heart and soul for something to bring the two of them together but Joseph is always just not into it >:(

-He’s almost given up on connecting at all BUT—

-One thing they do have in common? Erina.

-BOOM. Johnny-boy suddenly has ideas >:)

-Joseph is really put off when Jonathan shows up with a ball of yarn and needles and in the most innocent way possible he’s like “I have something to show you ^-^”

-the first thing Joseph thinks is NO FUCKING WAY. If Caesar or his mother or anyone caught him fucking knitting he’d never be able to live it down

-So instead he just watches as Jonathan sits by the fire, and it looks really boring at first but he just starts going at it

-And of course the gears start turning and all his brain sees is “fast task?? task I can be good at? something quick my hands can do??”

-And Jonathan looks up to take a break to see Joseph perched on the edge of the chair in complete awe, but the moment he asks if he wants to know how to do it, Joseph gets really withdrawn :/

The rest of their conversation goes a little like this:

“Isn’t that meant for girls?”

“Why would hats and scarves be only for girls?”

“But its—”

“You know...I’m making Erina a matching hat and scarf for her birthday. I could use a little help with the scarf…”

“...”

“We can make it a race.”

And with a fire lighting in his eyes, Joseph accepts the contest even though he has no idea what he’s doing. But isn’t that what he does best?

-Needless to say, he becomes obsessed.

-When his greatest fear comes true and Caesar finds out, he’s too obsessed to care about the teasing

-Joseph is good at something that Caesar isn’t. Caesar is jealous. Caesar picks up knitting.

-Are knitting contests even a thing?? I don’t care because Joseph and Caesar could probably open a fucking etsy shop with all the stuff they make (and absolutely shamelessly at that)

-Anytime they meet someone new it's immediately “which hat is better?” “Joseph’s is worse, right?” “Can you start the stopwatch for us?”

-Even in his older years, he never actually stopped making things for Holy, Suzi, and even sometimes Jotaro (thought Joot wouldn’t be caught dead wearing any of it in public)

-He actually progresses past knitting and making clothes in general becomes a secret passion of his

-The hat he’s wearing in part 4? He definitely made that. And don’t even think he doesn’t send Josuke the tackiest shit in the mail

Jonathan is very proud :)

Jotaro

-Animals. Is that even a question?

-Jonathan was always more of a dog or cat person, but the moment he finds out that Jotaro’s interested in marine life? MAN GOES ALL OUT

-He not only researches the shit out of marine biology just so he can hold up a conversation with him, but he also buys A SHIT TON OF BOOKS for his favourite angst man

-We all know that Jotaro isn’t exactly a man of words, but his heart is touched when they exchange a few sentences and Jonathan shows up the next day with a book all about what they were talking about🥺

-Like—Jonathan was always scolded for never listening to his father, but when it comes to stuff like this, Jotaro swears he’s able to read his mind

-Most people can barely get him to utter a sentence, but when these two are alone they’ll talk for hours about the ocean

-Holy was actually pretty worried for a while that Jotaro rarely ever opened up to anyone, but after seeing the two of them talk it was like a weight lifted off her shoulders :)

-They go on trips all the time to study water life. First, it's just to the river a few minutes away. Then they start going out to the lake nearby, and then they’re suddenly borrowing Joseph’s private boat and going on all these “research trips” together

-Which just consist of Jotaro taking hundreds of pictures and surprisingly never shutting up about what he sees (which is definitely a first)

-They pass by snooty, rich fishermen all the time who make fun of them for only looking at the animals, and Jonathan secretly uses Hamon to attract the fish to anywhere but where the fishers are lol

-I can blame snipster on instagram for introducing me to Smiletaro but the pure happiness and smiles of happy Joot on this boat with Jonathan is like a DRUG

-Star Platinum is absolutely thrilled, and when Jonathan realizes that Star is an amazing artist, he actually buys the stand a cute little purple notebook to draw all the ocean life they come across :3

-The moment they get back to shore Jotaro’s all -_- again around people, but you can still see the excitement in his eyes if you look hard enough

-When he gets into school for marine biology, Jonathan is so fucking proud

-This is an au which means anything can happen so I formally declare that Jonathan definitely got Jotaro those golden dolphin-shaped coat pins when the man first goes off to Uni

-He wears them as a good luck charm :3

Josuke

-Josuke is soooo easy to get along with, especially since both of them are such warm people :)

-Jonathan figures that it wouldn’t be hard to find something fun to do together, but when he actually thinks about it...he really knows nothing about what Josuke likes to do

-He ends up just asking the kid next time they see each other, and they end up just agreeing to teach each other one thing the other doesn’t know

-Because the power of KNOWLEDGE BABYYY

-Josuke shows up the next day with an entire fucking Nintendo 64 and is absolutely set on teaching him how to play something

-Erina just kinda watches like 👁👄👁 as Josuke plugs it in and Jonathan is confused but also SUPER EXCITED because he barely even knows what a video is but there are also video games??

-After much internal debate, Josuke decides on Ocarina of Time because he’s worried Jonathan will have a fucking heart attack if they play something like Mario Kart

-Also he thinks Jojo would enjoy the whole “righteous hero coming of age” archetype thing because,,,you know,,,

-They start it up and immediately Jonathan is like WHAT and has no idea how to play and dies in ways that Josuke didn’t even know were possible, but they somehow make it to the first temple with a lot of help from Josuke

-Right before the boss fight, his mom pulls up like “bitch we gotta go come on” so Josuke sees no harm in leaving the system at Jonathan’s and coming back next week

-Oho,,,ohohooo,,,

-He comes back a week later to a dark house,,,Erina’s off on some trip, and he can hear the faintest “HYAH!” coming from the living room

-He walks in to find Jonathan in the exact same spot he left him, ALL OTHER SAVE FILES ARE COMPLETE, and he’s in some obscure location doing a side quest Josuke didn’t even know existed

-Turns out he’s really good at quest games

-After Josuke realizes that Jonathan’s managed to beat the game more than once, he asks if he wants to try out another game

-To which Jonathan replies: “There’s MORE?”

.

-Aside from giving Jonathan a crippling video game addiction, Josuke also learns a vital thing about Jonathan Joestar

-Hamon ^-^

-Josuke’s a little surprised that Jonathan can even see his stand, and Jonathan has no other way to explain it than that it must be connected to his Hamon somehow

-To which Josuke is like “what” and Jonathan realizes that his stupid fucking grandson decided not to tell ANY OTHER Joestar about Hamon

-He’s no Zeppeli, but he could try and teach him...even if it didn’t work, it would still be a nice bonding activity

-When Jonathan finds out that Josuke’s stand ability is revolved around healing, he’s overjoyed because he might have a better chance

-They start small with breathing exercises and meditation, which eventually lead to Jonathan trying to teach Josuke how to make things like flowers

-Since it doesn’t exactly come naturally to Josuke, things don’t exactly work out,,,but both are unsurprisingly happy when Josuke manages to make a single flower bloom :3

-It’s not much, but it’s there and it honestly makes Josuke feel much better knowing that he could eventually learn how to heal himself, too :)

Giorno

-Jonathan considered teaching Giorno Hamon a while ago, but he realized that his stand already has the properties of Hamon, if not just in a more humanoid form

-And when Jojo puts two and two together that he and his son can both grow a lot of plant life, he has the perfect idea

-Garden buddies!!!! :D

-They grow everything you could possibly think of, and to top it all off, Giorno fills the garden with all this animal life :)

-When it comes to biology, Giorno never shuts up about it. He’s the quietest kid when it comes to virtually anything else but prepare for MAJOR info dumps about frogs and his vast knowledge of flowers

-Speaking of flowers, them just sitting and growing them together and talking about all of their favourites? Yes please

-Although they love to accelerate plant growth, there’s one patch in the middle of the garden that they’re determined to grow naturally

-Also them growing and eating carambola (star fruit) together because it’s my pocket dimension that makes no sense and I get to decide what fun fruits the Joestars get to eat together

-the garden becomes a great place for picnics and outings and the best place to go when things get too chaotic

-Giorno starts a plant journal where he records everything that ends up growing there, and Jonathan starts impulse buying all these flower guide books so they can look at pictures of them and put their favourites in the garden :3

-They end up creating a little pond in the middle of everything, and Giorno puts a whole bunch of frogs and fish in it and it's all very tranquil and calm and nice :))

◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇

I was gonna do part 6 (maybe part 7 too?) but mental energy? I don’t know her, sorry y’all :(

Feel free to add on though!! I wanna see what y’all would think Jonathan would wanna do with Jolyne or anyone else I missed :D My first thought for Jolyne was Rugby because Jonathan was a rugby KING and I feel like she’d be really good at it lmao

[bubblesurveys]

survey 17💛

length: long

----------

1.) What's better, having high expectations or having low expectations?

2.) Would you rather go without junk food for a year or go without TV for a year?

3.) Describe your perfect man/woman.

4.) Thoughts on school dress codes?

5.) Any strange phobias?

6.) At what job do you see Donald Trump best fit?

7.) Who was your first crush?

8.) Who was your first best friend?

9.) What is one weird thing about you?

10.) Top 5 TV shows you like to watch?

11.) What are your favorite boy names?

12.) What are your favorite girl names?

13.) Do you have any tattoos? If so, what are they?

14.) Do you plan on getting (more) tattoos? If so, what do you want to get?

15.) Do you have any piercings? Do you plan on getting more?

16.) Do you like hugs?

17.) Think of ANY person on earth right now. Who did you think of?

18.) Do you have an iPhone?

19.) What is the worst thing that could happen in your life right now?

20.) Do you watch anime?

21.) What brings true happiness?

22.) What is the most expensive thing you’ve ever paid for?

23.) If you could have any job in the world and get paid millions of dollars a year for it, what would you be and why?

24.) Do you want children? If so, how many?

25.) Name and describe someone who you feel most comfortable around.

26.) If you could invent a holiday, what would it be?

27.) Would you rather have summer weather or winter weather all year round?

28.) If you could create an alien race, describe what they would look like.

29.) What was the first thing you learned to cook?

30.) Describe your sense of humor.

31.) What is the key to happiness?

32.) How many phone numbers do you have committed to memory? Whose numbers are they?

33.) Name three songs that make you want to dance.

34.) What job did you want to have as a child?

35.) Do you have any talents or skills?

36.) What was the worst punishment you’ve ever had?

37.) Did you ever do anything weird as a child?

38.) What is your dream car?

39.) Describe something that made you laugh this week.

40.) What genre do most of your dreams fit into?

41.) Do you ever have repetitive dreams? Describe it/them.

42.) Describe the most recent dream you’ve had.

43.) Describe the best dream you’ve ever had.

44.) If God himself gave you a choice of either having unlimited money for the rest of your life or finding your one true love starting tomorrow, which one would you choose (keep in mind, you are still able to make a ton of money if you choose love, and you are still able to meet your soul mate if you choose money)?

45.) If you could do anything (and I mean ANYTHING) right now without consequences, what would you?

46.) Do you have any recipes that you know off the top of your head? What is it/ what are they?

47.) Do you have your license? If so, do you have a car?

48.) Have you ever had a near death experience?

49.) Do you personally know anyone that has been to prison?

50.) Have you ever been in a physical fight?

51.) When you get out of the shower, do you towel dry, blow dry, or air dry your hair?

52.) When you go to the movies, do you take snacks and drinks with you or do you buy them?

53.) Do you like going to the beach? If so, do you like to stay dry or go in the water? If not, why?

54.) Do you untie your shoes when you take them off?

55.) If you could have a superpower ASIDE from being invisible or being able to fly, what would you choose?

56.) If you were able to live for however long you wanted to (I'm talking thousands of years without aging), when would you choose to die?

57.) What do you think happens after we die?

58.) Do you believe in aliens?

59.) Do you believe in ghosts?

60.) Do you believe in spiritual things like ouija boards, tarot cards, and crystals? Do you believe they are portals for evil entities to enter the mortal world?

61.) If you could make one mythical being real, who/what would you choose?

62.) Do you tan, or do you burn?

63.) Describe your shower routine.

64.) Do you enjoy school? Why or why not?

65.) In your opinion, what is the worst way to die?

66.) Do you get travel sick?

67.) What’s one memory that you wish you could go back to?

68.) What were some of your stuffed animal’s names from when you were a kid?

69.) Do you have any pets?

70.) Describe your daily wardrobe.

71.) Describe what your daily wardrobe would be if you were rich.

72.) Create a character right now. Give them a name, age, height, hair colour, eye colour, pronouns, birthday, and accent.

73.) What was the last thing you bought?

74.) Have you ever bought a CD? What was it?

75.) Describe your perfect ice cream sundae.

76.) If you could make ANYTHING happen right now with no cost, trouble, or obstacles, what would you do?

77.) What are some of your favorite physical activities to do?

78.) What were some of your favorite shows as a child?

79.) Describe how you would survive the zombie apocalypse.

80.)What are some things you shouldn't say at work?

81.) If you were told that if you killed someone, you would save 100 people, would you do it?

82.) How’s the weather right now?

83.) What is the background on your cell phone right now?

84.)Is it better to work at a job that you love or a job that pays well?

85.) What do you have within arms reach of your bed?

86.) Have you ever been fired from a job? If so, why?

87.) Have you ever won a trophy, prize, or medal? If so, for what?

88.) Do you have any posters, pictures, or art hanging on your walls in your room? If so, what are they?

89.) Are you afraid of the dark?

90.)What is something that you've never done but would like to try?

91.) If you could choose three famous people or characters to be friends with, who would you choose and why?

92.) Do you smile at strangers when you pass by them on the street?

93.) Do you have a favorite TV commercial? If so, what is it?

94.) Do you like your handwriting?

95.) Cable TV or Netflix?

96.) What are your favorite smells?

97.) Do you consider yourself physically strong?

98.) Describe a time where you said something really rude or mean, whether intentional or not.

99.) Do you ask strangers if you can pet their dogs?

100.) What do you want done with your body after you die?

101.) Has anyone really close to you ever died? If so, who was it and how did you handle it?

102.) Describe your plan of action if you were home alone and you heard someone break into your house.

103.) If you were to be born again, would you want to be born male or female?

104.) What shampoo do you use?

105.) Guess the meaning of this word: ulotrichous.

106.) Do you let messages (phone, email, text, social media, etc...) build up, or do you have to look at them right away?

107.) How close is the nearest McDonalds to your house?

108.) If you had $1 billion and you had to spend it in exactly one week, what would you spend it on?

109.) What is the best thing you’ve ever eaten?

110.) If you could go on a trip around the world with up to three people, who would you bring? (they can be people you know personally or famous people)

111.) What swear word do you use the most often?

112.) What is your personal definition of success?

113.) How was your day today?

114.) What is the closest big city to you?

115.) Do you like children? Why or why not?

116.) Do you hide anything from your parents?

117.) If you could possess one talent, what would you be able to do?

118.) If you could speak three additional languages, what would they be?

119.) What is the worst thing you’ve ever seen in real life?

120.) Use only 3 words to describe how you want your future to go.

121.) If you could have your own business, what would you do?

122.) If you could make a dream society, describe it in great detail where it would be, who would be in it, and what rules there would be?

123.) If you could make any animal miniature, what would you make and why?

124.) What are your favorite candle scents?

[flow-green]

19-08-2021

 “I think I’ve never had more chaotic year than this one,” I confessed one evening when we drove in a car somewhere. My SO gave me a warm look and I checked to the back seat where my Charlie-baby was sleeping. If somone would have told me year and a half ago that 2021 will be a true turnaround in my life, when I will throw away all the life chains and take full control, I would have rolled mye eyes and gotten back to my endless vicious circle of career. I think ever since 17-years old I have followed the norms the society has set up: graduate high school, sprint through university, meanwhile make sure you work so you won’t get drowned in depts, get a job for your field of interest, in the meantime take some loan for some random house and if you have a moment, please, make some babies. Ever since I was a child, I knew right away: that’s not me. I don’t know what it is that makes me want to break these frames. But, oh well, there is no point to raise my voice for my own good as all the other people around me are nicely stable in the system. Some of my exes are on the same line: if you are not a parent by age 31 and do not own a gorgeous house in the suburbs while paying a sickly huge loan, meanwhile ignoring your family, friends and hobbies to make ends meet just so you could work yourself to deah by age 40, then you are a loser.

Few weeks ago in Saaremaa, while tipping my toes and feet into the warm and comforting waters of Estonian sea, I realized where I have drifted with my life. Only now I have started to realized that, f**k me sideways, I am actually a living human being. A LIVING person. I LIVE.

About 2 months ago, near summer solstice, I finally felt the finalizing ticking in my brain that pushed me gently to the edge of unknown. “Will you?” the life asked and motioned me to jump. “Or will you stay here forever, wondering what’s down there?” And so, with shivering hands, I clicked ‘send’ button on the mail that delivered my resignation letter to my boss. Done. Over half a year full of mental terror and a slow suicide will come to an end. At this point I had insane regrets. How am I supposed to throw away an opportunity and 6-year long career just because I do not want to live anymore? Now you’re probably thinking I am being a drama queen and overexaggerating. Oh, dear god, no. There were days, where everything started to tumble down in one go: my love life, my family relations, friends and work relations. On these days I switched myself and my phone off, listened to some serious melancholic tunes, sat alone for hours or drove around with a car and now, admitting for the first time: I hoped that something will happen and I do not need to live here anymore. I admitted this once also in my therapy, that I have frozen up while driving, not really giving a damn about my leg on gas pedal and about the speed.

I am once again a fat, useless, lazy, clumsy, slow and unorganized. Blessed with sore black eyes, a girl with unstable nervs and flaked nails. And all this just to give myself to a work which does not appreciate any sacrifices I make.

And I did it. This is MY life. My path and my decision, I ain’t going anywhere and even if I do, I’ll go with a smile on my face and as a queen for a day.

Few days ago I realized with full heart that this was one of the most important decisions in my life. I went for a run, as I have started to pick it up again. I went and set a goal to run approx 20 minutes. I had time. No rush. Only responsibility waiting for me was one project to improve a home page of our fresh company, but there was no strict deadline nor a passive aggressive boss-lady stalking my every move and making sure I am around even off-hours. So, my 20 minute run became to a 1 hour run, which was successful, nicely progressive and easy. I enjoyed every minute, because I was present. I had nowhere to hurry. I did not worry about the future or the past. I was just excisted. And I breathed.

I think I have cried more this year than in total for all past years. In my 9 to 5 appartment cubical lifestyle I always pushed away everything that demanded at least some movement out of comfort zone. For exaxmple I always closed in when my ex partner had an idea to do some changes. Well, true, his changes did not comply with my dreams. I did not want to get a huge loan to buy a house and sprint out 2 babies just because ,,Martin and Marge had their second kid in their gorgeous house and Martin is only 1 year older than me.” OK, is nice for them I guess? Every time these silly arguments started to come up, I switched myself off into my safety bubble, all alone. I let no emotions, chaotic situatons to influence myself and I just slowly flew on my laid down path, with eyepatches on. I always knew I want something different. I wanted to fight and be heard. Every time there was a conflict at work, with a friend or family member or with a partner, I eliminated it in the early stages and just ignored the rest.

And when these eyepatches were finally removed, everything else followed. I had no pink glasses or filters for emotons. Real life was there for me, but not always in a bad way. Real life offered everything, you only had to have guts to reach out and take it, with all its plusses and minuses. Take it, dominate, take responsibility, but don’t just float by. Get yourself togeter, notice, do, learn and experience. If not now then... when?

This half of a year has thrown so many obstacles and opportunities on my way and I have caught most of them. I guess one of the most difficult period was spending some insane time at a house in the middle of nowhere, without any water or normal comforts. This has made me appreciate small benefts of our everyday life.

I think I have mentioned this earlier as well, that February and March were probaby the hardest months this year. I was given a challenge to overcome and boy, it was tough. Namely, I got pregnant. As a woman who has never wanted to become a mom due to several and long reasons which I will not discuss today, I was in a cocmplete shock. I felt happy, scared, angry. Why now? Universe has its twisted sense of humour and it turned out that the pregnancy is not carriable for medical reasons and abortion is a must. I did not have a single day to stay home and mourn and endure grief. Oh, no, they needed me back to work ASAP. So I ignored the pain of loss and carried on with even more enormous work tempo to keep up. This period started a chain reaction which pulled me cruelsomely to the edge of the cliff. Work does not sleep, it waits impatiently. Even on these two horrible days I had to go through with the process, I did some work since I had become irreplacable.

All the emotions sealed up just blasted out as soon as some smaller bebble hit my bicycle. I cried hysterically, screamed. There were no days where my eyes weren’t bloodshot and with dark underlines.

In some sort of a sick twisted way I felt good, since I was needed, everything depends on me and I am sure it will get paid off nicely in the end when I have worked until my nose bleeds. In this tunnel vision I did not realize that skipped recovery and unresolved grief had made me this maniacal, delusional self-centered zombie, who lived for her workdays. All my free time I spent worrying about next work day. I did not notice anymore how my mom is doing, how are my friends and what is my partner up to. Every time we went off to one of our van trips I just existed somewhere in my thoughts about how much there is still to do. And it’s even more sadder, that I did not even notice myself anymore in the free world.

“Yea, but how would you go on?” was the main question I was asked when with a shaky voice I admitted that I need to quit my job right now and don’t want to take such responsibilities for a while now, only for myself. Everyone can do it. If there is a will, there is a way.

I am happy that I have at least won almost the entire battle with eating disorder, although I have to admint I am not proud over the inner criticizm about my body, which has grown 8 kg heavier since last summer. This means I still have days I hide under baggy clothes and just wait until these dark thoughts pass. There are days where I absolutely veto going to the beach because ‘it’s cold’. Actually I am reminding myself of that year where I had a killer six-pack, hip bones and tiny bikinies fit me so well, but now I look more like a curvy, slightly soft female not nearly showing signs of being physically active. Although, I am now in that golden zone where my weight is not going up nor down almost at all, no matter how much or little or what kind of foods I eat (plant based always of course). I guess it is positive, my body has found it’s perfect zone, but I--- don’t really like it. This mentality here is something now that I have to work with, with all my spare and peaceful time.

Since 25 July I am (f)unemloyed. And happy. I have made sure that I will be secured, will not be homeless and have food and I have a first step of a plan prepared. Priority for now is to help myself out of this destructive black hole that influences not only me but other close ones as well.

I don’t have black shadows under my eyes anymore. I sleep deep, without any random wake ups, I finally have time and motivation to cook, bake and test out recipes that have been collecting dust since forever. From day to day I get back to introduce myself to my long lost hobbies like kite surf, reading, writing, drawing and yoga.

I have finally startrd to realize that next to me there are people that I love unconditionally and to whom I have shown insanely rude attitude. Have you ever felt that re-falling in love again? I am currently feeling it with tripple multiplications, because I have once again fallen in so much love with my dog, my boyfriend and my hero on this topsy-turvy road, my family, friends and life itself.

I will not even take a glance anymore to that 100 promises I made earlier this year. Life is just so much different with completely new challenges. If anything, then I can mark this time period here as my new and fresh chapter for my life.

[swinners1990]

Not So Berry Part 2?

Finished @lilsimsie’s ‘Not So Berry Challenge’ and looking for something else to keep you occupied? Well i was bored today and decided to write up my own 10 gen challenge for Sims lovers! I tried to go for aspirations I’ve personally not used, also the traits don't particularly match the generation colour but i find it fun having a colour to work with! Please let me know what you think of this and if you try it!

Basic Rules:

1. Each heir must represent the colour given for that generation (i.e hair, make-up, clothes and home items)  2. The colour of your sims spouses don't matter, nor dose the gender unless stated.  3. Cheats can be used, but not excessively.. (you can use freerealestate for your first home or mccc cheats for number of babies) 4. You may live in any world unless it is stated in the rules.  5. Keep lifespan on normal. 6. Every generation must complete both aspiration and career unless stated otherwise. 7. If you do not have all the packs and cannot do some aspirations or caeers etc. then adjust that generation to what you do have! & have fun! 

Generation One; Charcoal (start as teen with parents)

You’re a angry teen who’s parents don't understand why you wear thick black makeup and can always been seen in a band tee-shirt or anything with chains. Growing up with two strict military parents (you may cheat both parents high up in the military career) you are always rebelling, sneaking out after curfew to meet with friends or to drink at the local bar. Your parents are always nagging at you, so you have enough and leave for the big city, they think you wont make it on your own, but you’re stubborn enough to grind and grind to prove them wrong.

Traits; Mean, Kleptomaniac, Erratic  Aspiration; City Native Career; Baby Sitter (teen) & Odd Jobs only when a young adult/adult/elder (you may keep the Baby Sitter part time job after aging from a teen)

Rules;

1. Master City Native Aspiration. 2. Live in tiny apartment. 3. Never marry & only have one child 4. Master Guitar & Handiness skills plus two other skills of choice. 5. Have neutral relationship with child. 6. Leave home the day you age into a young adult. (or while a teen, but I'm unsure if teens can move out alone?)

Generation Two; Rainbow (all multicoloured clothes/hair/item's etc.)

After growing up in a dark colourless home, you want to be surrounded in as much colour as possible, you wanted it to look as if a rainbow crash landed in your home! You didn’t have a good or bad relationship with either of your parents, and being an only child was lonely, all you’ve ever dreamed of was a big happy family!

Traits; Good, Family Oriented, Childish Aspiration; Big happy Family Career; Professor

Rules;

1. Master Big Happy Family aspiration and Professor career. 2. Max the Research & Debate, Parenting, Bowling & Cooking skills. 3. Have at least 4 children. 4. Marry an adult sim while you're still a young adult. 5. Have a family bowling day out once a week on a day of your choice. 6. All children must share a room.

Generation Three; Hazel

Your home was always crowded, sharing a room with all your siblings you could never hear your own thoughts, so you spend most of your time outside playing, reading, playing the violin or cloud gazing, dreaming of a quite life by the sea.

Traits; Bookworm, Loves Outdoors, Child Of The Ocean Aspiration; Beach Life Career; Diver (teen) / Marine Biologist 

Rules;

1. Master Beach Life aspiration & Both Careers. 2. Max Fitness and Violin skills. 3. Must live in Sulani. 4. Have a mermaid best friend. 5. Have a close relationship to all children. 

Generation Four; Pearl

As a toddler you loved life on the beach, but once a child you went to school and discovered the Drama Club! You fell in love with acting and spent all your time in front of the mirror practising lines! You had stars in your eyes and nothing would stop you from being famous!

Traits; Self-Obsessed, Materialistic, Ambitious Aspiration; World Famous Actress Career; Actress

Rules;

1. Master World Famous Actress aspiration and Actress career. 2. Max the Acting, Charisma and Wellness Skills. 3. Join Drama Club after your first day at Grade School. 4. Have a butler and a maid. 5. Marry another famous sim. 6. Live in Del Sol Valley. 7. Become a 5 Star celebrity.

Generation Five; Mauve

While having celebrity parents was fun at times, they was always busy and you spent a lot of your time with the staff. After a while you started enjoying the company of animals rather than other sims. You decide that you want to run your own Veterinary business, but don't want it just handed to you like any other rich kid. So you BORROW the money from your parents for a small starter Vet Clinic & pay them back as soon as you start making money. (you can ask for large loans if your charisma is high enough, if not then use money cheats then cheat the money away to “pay it back”)

Traits; Cat Lover, Dog Lover, Cheerful Aspiration; Animal Lover Career; Vet Owner

Rules;

1. Master the Animal Lover aspiration. 2. Adopt stray animals only. 3. Lot traits to be both Cat & Dog Hangout 4. Max the Veterinarian, Pet Training and Knitting Skills. 5. Donate all knitwork to charity. 6. Marry an employee. 7. Vet Clinic must get to at least 4 Stars.

Generation Six; Emerald

Growing up surrounded by cats and dogs meant you was never alone, which in turn was an issue as that's all you wanted at times! As a teen you would love nothing more than to take a cooler to the local lake and spend hours alone, fishing! And if you wasn't doing that you would be out back crafting away!

Traits; Loner, Neat, Maker Aspiration; Angling Ace Career; Fisherman (teen) / Freelance Crafter

Rules;

1. Master Angling Ace aspiration and Fishing career. 2. Max the Fishing, Fabrication and Piano skills. 3. Have twins only. (don’t matter how many sets, but all children must be twins-Good luck!) 4. Fabricate most of own furniture. 5. Be engaged but never marry.

Generation Seven; Tangerine 

Being a twin was amazing and you loved your sibling, they’re your best friend! But sometimes you never got all the attention, it was shared.. EVERYTHING was shared! When teens, your twin becomes more into sports. While you are always glued to a phone or computer screen. Constantly taking selfies and updating your social media.. Finally getting the attention you've always craved! 

Traits; Hates Children, Self-Assured, Jealous  Aspiration; Fabulously Wealthy Career; Internet Personality

Rules;

1. Master Fabulously Wealthy aspiration and Internet Personality career. 2. Marry a rich sim. 3. Constantly upload videos, blogs & drone recordings. 4. Max the Media Production, Singing and DJ Mixing skills. 5. Hire a nanny daily to take care of any children you have.

Generation Eight; Cotton Candy

Your parent lived online for as long as you could remember, you had a good relationship with both your parents but you was always closer to you father. You found beauty in the greenhouse, and was never more relaxed than while you was tending to the garden and bonding with the bees. Your aim is to make your neighbourhood greener than your grandparents hair! You have one BFF as a child, but once teens the friendship turns romantic! 

Traits; Greenfiend, Recycle disciple, Vegetarian Aspiration; Freelance Botanist Career; Botanist

Rules;

1. Master Freelance Botanist aspiration and Botanist career. 2. Max the Gardening, Flower Arranging and Herbalism Skills. 3. Have a well maintained garden. 4. Don’t Woohoo until after married. 5. Have an outdoors/Beach wedding to childhood best friend. 6. Live in Evergreen Harbour  7. Make your neighbourhood green.

Generation Nine; Powder Blue

You had a happy free childhood and loved your parents dearly, but growing up you longed for adventure! You would jog everyday dreaming of climbing Mt. Komorebi! After taking a vacation there as a teen you fell in love with the scenery and culture, after that you concentrated on your training to do the big climb! 

Traits; Active, Proper, Outgoing Aspiration; Mt. Komorebi Sightseer  Career; Extreme Sports Enthusiast

Rules;

1. Master the Mt. Komorebi Sightseer aspiration and Extreme Sports Enthusiast Career. 2. Max the Rock Climbing, Snowboarding OR Skiing and Fitness skills. 3. Successfully climb Mt. Komorebi. 4. Have a ‘No shoes Allowed’ household. 5. Only ever do a ‘Respectful Introduction’ 6. Go jogging every morning.

Generation Ten; Sunflower Yellow

Your parents love for adventure rubbed off on you, they always taught you to follow your dreams, so you do and you set your sights on Archaeology! It was exciting and a different kind of adventure to your parents mounting climbing!  You'll be the next Indiana Jones, but how will you fund your full time adventures? Why not write about your amazing adventures too? Surly people will read about that!

Traits; Adventurous, Genius, Romantic Aspiration; Archaeology Scholar Career; NO JOB. (Odd jobs are allowed on occasion)

Rules;

1. Master Archaeology Scholar aspiration. 2. Write & publish books about your adventures. 3. Max the Archaeology, Writing, handiness and Selvadoradian Culture skills. 4. Only ever vacation in Selvadora 5. Marry a Selvadorian native.

I hope you enjoy this challenge as much as the original Not So Berry Challenge! It was so fun to come up with! 

[3shag]

August 1

This month, I am hoping to learn on how to focus on myself. I badly need to focus on my review for the upcoming board exam. Also, I’m hoping that this month would be a healing month and a fresh start for myself since I’d been really busy focusing on my family this past few months.

I pray for knowledge and wisdom.

I pray that I’ll be able to discipline myself not to easily be distracted.

I pray for a productive day everyday.

At the end of this month, It’s a new me. All these things are for my better future. So help me God 🙏🏻

August 2

Actually, I don’t know. The month of July was filled with pain. Still, looking at the positive side of this month was that I’m thankful that I’d finally received my two diplomas.

August 3

What love taught me so far was to be brave enough to let go someone you really love and just continue life. It’s been 6 months since we’d broke up, less than month since my grandma, and our dog left. I can say that I’m not that fully recovered yet because I still recall all the heartbreaking days happened. But, I can also say that I’m fine and fearless enough to go on with life.

August 4

My favorite non-work activity I did this past month was to try workout in the morning, read a fictional book in Wattpad, and chill with family like netflix and drinking beer with them.

August 5

I’d read a fictional story from Wattpad entitled “Chasing in the Wilds”. It’s a love story of a CEO and a civil engineer. This story really inspired me to work hard in achieving my goals. How I needed to focus on my review, work for my family and future, and I know someday I’ll find my living fictional character that every girl would dreamed of.

August 6

I feel normal again. Not so sad, not so happy. Just the neutral feeling. I guess the best feeling I had these past few days was to feel motivated on the things I wanted to do or achieved. I feel so bad when I got nothing to do. It’s like everyday should be an improvement day. I guess, I’m already tired of doing nonsense. Maybe, Its time to focus more on myself.

August 7

Actually, I did nothing on this day since I am having a body pain. But, one thing that brought me a sense of joy was that I have this body pain because I really miss playing badminton and that made me happy that I played again despite of this pandemic.

August 8

The best memories I had when I was a child was that I am able to play outside the house with my childhood buddies. No gadgets, just the usual traditional 90’s games.

August 9

The biggest lesson I’ve learned so far from this week is that time is unstoppable, so, why waste time to nothing. Everyday should be a learning process day. Trying to have productive day and rest if I have to.

August 10

I can be present to someone if I am to hear or listen to all their rants/problems in life. I may not be present physically, but virtually I am trying my best to make them feel better.

August 11

I really don’t know actually. But, I think the plot twist happen in my life right now maybe the days I felt so broke. So lately, I am trying to be resourceful on the things that aren’t not going to be used but has value, so, I tried to sell it online. It’s just a temporary income, so, I probably need to save too and discipline myself. But I’m glad I am not that so broke anymore.

August 12

My past self was too busy on school. Less time on my family and close friends. I can tell now that I’m proud of myself because all those sacrifices I did before when I was on college we’re all worth it.

August 13

The grace I am receiving lately I think my extra income in shopee. At least this time I can now save money for my basic needs and be wise on spending for my wants.

August 14

That everything happening right now is just at the right time.

August 15

Lately, me and my sister have planned to have this “beaded accessories” business. So yeah, I enjoyed doing it and makes me forget my worries temporarily.

August 16

Calming and Relaxing. It made me feel like I’m not worrying anything.

August 17

I pushed myself so much today. I haven’t applied to rest for a while. Maybe because I didn’t prioritize all my task this day so I clutched up everything.

August 18

The moment that they pressured me on my review. I am already pressured by myself and the moment they pushes me even more, it’s totally suffocating. The only courageous words that I am holding onto is that everything happening in my life are just at the perfect time. Mistakes and delays are meant to happen. All these problems are preparing me for something good.

August 19

I am still breathing

I have complete and happy family

We are healthy

We have food to eat

Few close friends but the realest ones

Blessed to buy wants and needs

I graduated college

My family / relatives / friends are safe

Comfortable bed to sleep and rest on

God is always with me

August 20

In today’s situation, all the public servants, front-liners especially from hospitals, volunteers, food drivers or any public transportation drivers, and others who continues their businesses just to serve the needs of others. They are the ones who’s helping and sacrificing theirselves to our community. What I have learned from them was to take good care of ourselves and showing our kindness to them because seeing them tired was really heartbreaking.

August 21

When I didn’t hesitate to ask and comfort my auntie (Ate Lita). The moment I saw her crying while fixing her things, I felt how lonely she was in her life. Everything we’re going through right now, I wanted blame the pandemic. Everyone’s suffering from mental health. Yes, it’s safe being at home but It’s also not healthy anymore being stuck in a house.

August 22

Faith in God. Everything that is happening right now, I always trust in him. No matter how slow my progress is, I know everything’s planned.

Discipline. I always feel guilty when I didn’t review or waste my day to nothing. It’s a good thing because I know that I have a responsibility to do at the end of each day. It’s an add up routine for me to discipline myself to at least review per day. Also, it helped me minimize the use of social media accounts, use of phone, or watch netflix.

Strong. I know that I am strong because I am not giving up. Lately, I am being pressured on my review. I panicked and palpitated when I am stress. I cannot think properly. I know that my anxiety starts attacking me. I pray. I pray. I pray. And after that breakdown, the next day, It feels like I’m totally okay again.

Soft-hearted. I’m glad that I am still that kind of person. I don’t have that so much pride. I know that I am still humble and the kind person you still know.

August 23

1. To put God first in anything and everything.

2. To learn how to use your emotions to think.

3. To learn how to rest and treat myself.

4. Everything is just at the right time.

5. I deserved better. Don’t settle for less.

August 24

It’s okay to feel whatever you’re feeling. So much question on your head and a lot of insecurities on yourself. But you know what, you’re still growing. There’s so much things planned for you. Everything that you questioned about yourself, they’re all just temporary problems. Take it as a challenge for you to surpass. You still have so much things to be learned and you shouldn’t miss it. Just keep on moving forward because there’s a lot of opportunities ahead for you.

August 25

Trust is something that would take you for years to gain it and just a second of mistakes for you to ruined it. It’s one of my most important value in this world. Once I give you that trust, it means I am safe with you and I have no doubts for you. If you break it, I’ll always doubt in you and hard for you to have it back.

August 26

Yesterday. I’m not in a good mood. My body doesn’t want me to do anything. I feel guilty when I am not doing anything productive. But, its a recharged for me. Maybe, yes, I really need that rest for a while for me to think and relax my mind. Reminding myself to take good care of my mental health as well. Resting for a while is healthy, but too much chill can be unhealthy as well.

August 27

The positive changes that happened to me now would be my self-worth. It’s good to be single again. Less worries and problems. Maybe, God really planned this. He knows that I will carry much more pain when I am still in a relationship. This time, I’ll focus more on my personal problems firsts.

August 28

Recently, I am learning to plan all my tasks to do which truly a helpful for me to be more motivated to finish all my tasks. Also, I am reading an inspirational book before I start reviewing my lectures. It also helped me to be calm and inspired at the same time. It’s a slow progress yet it’s still a progress. Trying to not be so hard myself this time.

August 29

I am dreaming about acing that board exam.

I am dreaming about how my future would be.

I am dreaming about giving back to my parents.

I am dreaming about traveling to my dream places.

I am dreaming about buying all my wants.

I am dreaming about a contented life.

All I am dreaming is about my success. Success for me is something that I’ll overcome someday with all these present-day problems. It’s just all dreams but I know it’s not impossible to happen if I work hard and never give up no matter how life throws me curve.

August 30

Maybe, the new builded relationship with my sister. We are trying to start a small business which was her idea and I just support her. We don’t know how to grow and run a business, so, we have misunderstandings. But, we’re also happy on what we are doing because it’s something that you will not get bored or unproductive in a day. We both love arts, maybe someday, as we grow older, we’ll understand each other ever more.

August 31

I cannot believe that I made it. I am somehow healed on all that July heartbreaks. I can say that I’ve overcame all those previous problems because it’s all different now from all my current worries. I am now worrying about passing the board exam. This is what I wanted to happen, to be more focus on my review. I always have a productive day and I even learned to plan my duties to do at the end of each day.

~~~~~

Lord, Thank You. I know that you guided me. You helped me push myself to do better each day. There are downfalls, yes, but you never failed to be so good in me. It’s just a one month, but it truly helped me mold myself even more. I learned a lot from this month of August. I love you, Lord. Thank You for not leaving me.

[soobiniebaby]

Angels & Devils Part VIII : I Don’t Wanna Be Just Friends

Tomorrow x Together Fanfiction

~ p a r t s : main post || prologue || part 1 || part 2 || part 3 || part 4 || part 5 || part 6 || part 7 || part 8 || part 9 || part 10 || part 11 || part 12 || part 13 || part 14 || part 15 || part 16 || part 17 ~ p a i r i n g : love triangle involving choi soobin and choi yeonjun ~ g e n r e : high school au | some social media au | some fluff & angst | childhood friends | love triangle ~ l a n g u a g e : English ~ w a r n i n g : contains swearing, alcohol, kissing (?) and may contain mature themes (angst, etc.) ~ a / n : This will be my first fanfic (go easy on me pls) and i’m just writing this as I go along, so bear with me juseyo The setting (place/country) of the story is up to the reader’s interpretation ~ s u m m a r y : What should she choose? Han Baby: the new girl with a troubled past MO Academy: her new high school Choi Soobin: student council president, member of the Ecosave club, volunteer at the Humane Treatment of Animals, member of the Honor Society, a vocalist in the Jazzed club, the school’s all around golden boy Choi Yeonjun: leader of the Dance club, star of the Jazzed club, the school’s it boy with a bad rep 5 best friends, 1 new girl, 1 childhood friendship, 1 epic love triangle? What will this school year bring?

It had been 13 days now since Kai’s birthday party. 13 days since Yeonjun had asked her out, and so far she’s done a good job at making sure that things between them wouldn’t change. All it took was to avoid being alone with him.

At first, she was convinced that both of them would move on from Kai’s party as if nothing had happened between them, that is, until he made it a point to keep his eyes on her while he was performing onstage, even giving her a wink or two. That simple gesture flustered her so much that she made sure to never find herself alone with the blue haired boy again. Ryujin’s “Looks like Choi Yeonjun’s got his eye on you” remark didn’t help either. And it definitely didn’t help that she often caught Yeonjun looking at her, though she could never bring herself to meet her gaze, afraid that she might get even more confused than she already was.

During their daily lunches at the gazebo and their trips to Kang’s Kafe after school, she made sure that she always had Kai by her side. During the one class that she shared with Yeonjun, she made sure that Soobin was seated between them. On Saturday, 7 days after Kai’s party, the boys had invited her to hang out at Soobin’s house and still she was able to avoid being alone with Yeonjun, gluing herself to Kai’s side the whole time. She wasn’t avoiding Yeonjun per se, she still talked to him when necessary. She just wanted to make sure that no line would be crossed between them, that there would be no opportunities for him to leave her any more flustered than she already was. She wanted to wait until thinking back to the moment he winked at her onstage didn’t make her heart race or her cheeks heat up anymore.

She had managed to maintain her daily routine of walking to school with Taehyun, attending classes, going to Kang’s Kafe with the gang, and walking home perfectly fine until today.

Friday.

Friday was quickly becoming her favorite school day. First of all, it was their washday, so she could get dressed up and look pretty if she wanted to instead of having to wear the same uniform everyday. Second, ever since she joined the HTA club, she’s been able to spend most of the afternoon surrounded by the cats and dogs within the campus grounds. It wasn’t all cuddles and pets, since the club was responsible for caring for the animals, they also had to clean up after them, made sure their feeding stations were never empty, and ensure that all the animals were in good shape. Luckily the workload wasn’t too bad since Soobin and the rest of the club members were all very attached to the animals under their care.

She had also gotten much closer with the rest of the boys, especially with Soobin since they spent a lot of time at the HTA together, and they were constantly taking pictures of each other so they’d have content to post for their creative writing class project. Unsurprisingly, their social media posts for the week both included cats under the care of the HTA club.

This Friday morning, 13 days after Kai’s birthday party, B woke up as usual to the sound of her phone alarming. What was unusual, however, was how heavy her body felt when she turned over in bed to shut the alarm off, and how chilly she felt even though her body was drenched in sweat. She came down with a bit of a cold the night before and she figured a night of good sleep would make it disappear, but clearly she was wrong.

She dragged herself out her bed and started getting ready for school, taking a cool shower and getting dressed. Due to how out of sync her body felt, she didn’t have the appetite to eat breakfast or the energy to care about how she looked, so she quickly swiped some tint on her lips and cheeks. She saw a couple of red spots on her chin and thought about whether or not she should cover them up with concealer, but she noticed that the spots felt itchy and she was afraid that covering them up with makeup would irritate them more so she left them alone. She threw on a sweater and jeans before willing herself to step out of her apartment and meet Taehyun downstairs.

“Wow, B.” Taehyun says as she meets him outside, staring at her with a strange look on his face. “And I don’t mean that in a good way.” he says, concerned now. Last Friday, she had made an effort to look nice. Her face was vibrant and her outfit choice was stylish. Now, she looked a little worse for wear, and she looked tired, as she stood slouched over with her arms folded across her chest. “Are you…okay?”

B nods. “I’m fine. I just skipped breakfast, I’ll get something to eat after homeroom.” she said, thankful that they didn’t have any classes for the day. She told herself that she just had to survive homeroom, get some food to energize herself, and then she’d be able to power through the rest of the day.

“Are you sure?” Taehyun asks, taking a step closer towards her so he could examine her properly. “You look kind of pale.”

B gives him a look. “It’s just cause I didn’t put on makeup.” she says dismissively. “And I didn’t eat breakfast, but I promise I’m good. Let’s go.”

Taehyun gives her one last look of concern before turning away. “Alright, let’s go.”

•°•

Homeroom was a drag. Attendance was required, but the whole thing felt like a waste of time. It was supposed to be used by the class advisers to discuss school policies or events, but their teacher didn’t seem to have anything to discuss. B spent the first 30 minutes of the period with her head buried in her arms, lying down on her desk.

“Hey Tyun,” Kai whispers. “What happened to Baba? Is she okay?”

“She seemed a bit off when we were walking to school. She was quiet, and she looked really tired. I asked her if she was okay before we left, and all she told me is that she didn’t have breakfast and that she was fine.” Taehyun confesses. “You got any food with you right now?”

Kai shakes his head. “I always have breakfast before I go, no matter how late I’m running. Do you have anything?”

Taehyun reaches into his bag and pulls out a brown paper bag. “My mom always packs me a couple of sandwiches, just in case.”

The 2 boys smile at each other and nod before each laying a hand on B’s shoulders.

“Baba, hey, wake up.” Kai says, gently squeezing her shoulder.

B turns her head in her arms to face the boys, not sitting up. “Hm?” she mumbles.

“You said you skipped breakfast, right? Are you hungry?” Kai asks.

“I have a couple of sandwiches here, you can eat them right now if you want to.” Taehyun says soothingly, gently squeezing her shoulder.

“No, it’s fine, you should eat them. But thanks, Tyun.” B says, giving him a weak smile.

“Baba, c’mon, you should at least eat something.” Kai says. “No offense, but you kinda look like a corpse.”

“Gee, thanks.” she responds dryly. “You know what, it’s cause I didn’t wear makeup. I’ll just go to the restroom and freshen up real quick.” she says, reaching into her bag and pulling out a small makeup bag. She stands up and glares at Kai before saying “I’ll be back.”

She walks up to the class adviser’s table and asks for permission to go to the bathroom before exiting the room.

“Dude. Seriously.” Taehyun says, turning to Kai and whacking his arm. “Did you really have to tell her that she looked like a corpse? All I wanted was for her to take the sandwiches.”

Kai just shrugs. “Hey I was just stating facts. I thought it would motivate her to eat, I didn’t think she’d bring out her makeup bag.”

“You’re an idiot. You better apologize to her when she gets back.” Taehyun says, shaking his head at the boy.

Except B never returned to class.

•°•

Yeonjun walked down the hall, his hands in his pockets and his head full of thoughts.

Fridays were one of the busiest days of the week for him. First, as president of the dance club, he had to finalize club activities before the end of homeroom, and since they had new members, they would be focusing more on introductions. Next, he had to consider his role in the Jazzed club. They were impressed with the rapping he did during the showcase on club recruitment day and they wanted him to assemble a small group of members and start a rap line within the club, so he had to figure out which members had potential and how to develop the skills needed to be a rapper. Lastly, there would be the weekly family dinner he’d be having with his parents for the night.

It was going to be a long day. He decided to take a break from planning out his day during homeroom and walk around the hall to stretch his legs for a bit. He was on his way back to his classroom when he saw a familiar face coming out of the women’s restrooms.

He smiled as he saw Baby step out, her arms folded across her chest cradling a small makeup bag, her eyes on the ground. She was wearing an oversized sweater and a plain pair of jeans, but he noticed her face was done up really nicely. Without even thinking about it, he found his feet begin to change direction, walking towards her now. It was the first time he’d seen her alone in the past few days, so he figured he’d grab the chance.

“Hey, Baby.” he called, as he was about 10 feet away from her now. She didn’t seem to hear him, cause she still had her eyes on the ground as she took slow steps. He decided to call her again.

“Baby?” he says a little bit louder as he comes closer. She looks up at him then, and he notices how blank her eyes looked. She looked dazed, as if she were lost and confused.

As her blank eyes meet his, she opens her mouth and says “Yeonjun?” before her vision goes blurry and she stumbles backwards.

Yeonjun manages to rush to her side and gets a grip on her shoulders before she loses her footing and her body crashes against his.

“Whoa there, are you okay?” he asks, as his hand brushes against her neck, he notices that she was burning up. “Baby? You’re burning up.” he says, looking at her with concern. She had her eyes closed and was breathing heavily. “I’m taking you to the clinic.” he says, positioning her properly, cradling her in his arms before lifting her off the ground.

“Hold on, Baby. I’ve got you.” he says, securing her on his back before making his way to the clinic.

•°•

Yeonjun puts his phone back in his pocket and runs a hand through his hair. He sat in silence, counting the number of tiles on the floor, before the school nurse called for him.

“Mr. Choi?” the nurse calls.

He stands up immediately and enters the room that the nurse had put Baby in, knocking on the door before stepping in.

“Yes, nurse Sunwoo?” he says, standing by the door. Baby was asleep on the bed, and the school nurse was standing beside her with a clipboard in his hands.

“Is Ms. Han a friend of yours? It looks like she’ll have to be sent home. She has a high fever, her temperature’s 38.9 degrees Celsius, so it’s standard protocol that we send home students with fevers.” nurse Sunwoo explains.

Yeonjun nods. “Alright, sir, will you fill up a form? I’d gladly take it to her adviser, and I can also take her things from her classroom and get her a ride home.”

“Yes, I’ve already filled up a form for Ms. Han, and I’ll fill up a form that will explain your absence from homeroom so you can get her a ride home. You’re still expected to return to school afterwards, though.” nurse Sunwoo says. “But first, I have to ask, have you ever had the chicken pox before?”

Yeonjun’s eyes widen and his mind goes blank. The chicken pox? He takes a moment to think about it before answering “Yes, I had it when I was 3 years old.”

“That’s good.” nurse Sunwoo says, sighing in relief. “I’ve noticed that Ms. Han appears to have some rashes spreading across her face and neck. The school doctor isn’t in today so I can’t be too sure, but I looks like she might have Varicella, so it’s best that she avoids contact with other students just in case there might be someone who hasn’t had the chicken pox before. It’s a highly contagious disease, so it could spread quickly. Judging by her symptoms now, she probably contracted the disease about 2 weeks ago.”

Oh no, could it be? “We had a social gathering about 2 weeks ago. Do you think she could have picked it up from someone there?” Yeonjun asks.

“Again, I’m not a doctor so I can’t officially diagnose her. But if it is Varicella, then yes, it’s highly possible that someone at that party had it or at least came in contact with someone who had it and became a carrier.” nurse Sunwoo explains. “If other students were present at that gathering, then we’re likely to see more cases of this soon.”

Yeonjun nods. “I understand, Sir, and I’ll warn my friends about it too.”

“I suggest Ms. Han contact her family doctor so that she can be properly diagnosed as well.” Nurse Sunwoo says before handing Yeonjun the forms. “Submit this to Ms. Han’s class adviser and collect her things. Come back here and I’ll help you with transporting Ms. Han to her ride home. Once you’ve secured her safely in her home, come back to school and present this form to your class adviser.”

“Will do, thank you, Sir Sunwoo.” Yeonjun says, taking the forms. “Oh, a friend of ours says he’ll be stopping by the clinic to visit her, if it’s okay.”

Nurse Sunwoo shakes his head. “She may be highly contagious, so before any of your friends plan any visits, please make sure that they’ve already contracted the chicken pox before. Otherwise, they have a high risk of getting infected as well.”

Yeonjun nods and thanks the nurse once again before leaving, whipping out his phone to text the guys while he walked to her classroom.

After texting the guys, he sends a quick text to his driver as well.

Once he reaches her classroom, he knocks twice before entering the room and walking straight to the adviser’s desk. He could already hear the whispers from the class as he informed the adviser of Baby’s condition and gave him the clinic form. The adviser simply says “I hope Ms. Han recovers soon.” and signs the form before handing it back to Yeonjun. “You’ll find her things over there, she was seated in between Mr. Kang and Mr. Huening.”

Yeonjun thanks the adviser before making his way to her seat and collecting her things.

“Pst, Yeonjun.” Kai whispers. “Is it really chicken pox? How is she?”

“Nurse Sunwoo said he suspects it’s chicken pox, but he couldn’t be too sure since the school doctor isn’t in today, so it would be best if Baby contacts her family doctor.” Yeonjun says quietly, making sure no one else but Kai and Taehyun could hear him. “She fainted when I saw her, and when I left she was asleep in the clinic.”

“I hope she’s okay. I really should’ve known she wasn’t okay before we left this morning.” Taehyun said, a frown on his face.

Kai puts a hand on Taehyun’s back. “Tyun, seriously, this isn’t your fault. Thanks to you, she made it to school safely.” he says comfortingly.

“Thanks, Hyuka. I wish we could visit her though, make sure she’s okay.” Taehyun says wistfully.

“If you want the chicken pox, feel free to visit her then.” Yeonjun says, trying to lighten the mood. “I’ll just take her things then I’ll bring her home. Don’t worry, I’ll take care of her for now.” he says, clapping the 2 boys on their backs before excusing himself from the room.

Yeonjun heads back to the clinic and Nurse Sunwoo helps him bring Baby in a wheelchair to the north quadrangle, where sure enough, his driver was waiting for him. His driver opens the backseat and helps Yeonjun with loading the girl into the car. Yeonjun thanks the school nurse once again before entering the vehicle himself.

“Where to, sir Yeonjun?” the driver asks as they pull out of the campus.

“You know Kang’s Kafe, right Hwall? We’re taking her home to her apartment, it’s in the building across the café.” Yeonjun says. “This is Han Baby, by the way. She’s a friend of mine.”

“Alright, Sir Yeonjun.” Hwall simply says. “Will you be staying at her apartment for the rest of the day?”

Yeonjun shakes his head. “We’ll just be dropping her off, I have to be back at school for the afternoon.”

“Seems a bit dangerous to leave her alone in this state, sir.” Hwall comments. “Your friend doesn’t look like she’s in the best condition. Is she sick?”

Yeonjun nods. “She fainted and has a high fever. I wish I could stay and make sure she’ll be okay, but I have no choice. If I don’t go back and submit this form, then I’ll have an unexcused absence, which my father might hear about.” he says with a hint of bitterness. Yeonjun’s personal driver, Hwall, was one of the few staff members hired by his family that he trusted, so he felt safe confiding in Hwall about his problems.

“Whatever the situation, I’m sure you’ll handle it well, sir.” Hwall simply says, knowing Yeonjun.

Just then, the car takes a sharp turn, and Baby’s position shifts, somehow ending up with her head on Yeonjun’s lap. He tries to inch away from her so that her head would land on the car seat instead, but he was surprised when she reached out and grabbed the fabric of his jeans, causing him to freeze in place. He looks down at her and sees that she’s still fast asleep. He lets out a small smile and rests a hand on the top of her head, caressing her hair carefully. He snaps a quick picture before sending an update to the boys.

He ignores Taehyun’s message and locks his phone, tilting his head back, thinking carefully about what he should do for the rest of the day.

His gut told him that he shouldn’t leave her alone, at least not in her current condition, and he felt like simply making sure she got home safe wouldn’t be enough. He wanted to spend the afternoon watching over her, to contact her family doctor and have him come over to examine her, to stay by her side and make sure she wouldn’t wake up alone.

On the other hand, if he did skip school for the rest of the day, he’d fail to submit his excuse slip, and that would be another unexcused absence in his record.

He sighed, looking down at the girl sleeping on his lap, wondering if he should choose his head over his heart.

•°•

When B wakes up and opens her eyes, she’s surprised when she sees nothing, her view obstructed by something covering her face. She lifts a hand up to reach over her face, removing whatever was obstructing her view. She grabs it and realizes that it’s a face towel, and it was slightly damp. Why did she have a towel on her head?

She turns over in her bed, blindly reaching over the sheets in search of her phone, but she’s surprised when her hand comes in contact with hair. Human hair.

Was there someone else in her bed?

Her eyes immediately widen as she pulls her hand away and attempts to scramble away, but instead she ends up rolling over until she falls over the side of the bed, hitting the floor with a thud.

“Ouch.” she says out loud, rubbing her the spot on her head that met the heaviest impact with the floor. Once she realizes that no one else had made a sound, she starts to sit up, slowly peeking over the sheets to catch a glimpse of whoever might be on the other side of the bed.

She’s surprised when she sees a head of blue hair, and she immediately stands up to get a better look.

It was Yeonjun. He was sitting on the floor at the other side of the bed, but he seemed to have fallen asleep, his head resting in his arms, which were folded across the bed.

B could feel her heartbeat start to quicken as she started to panic. Why wasn’t she at school? When and how did she get home? Why was Yeonjun here? Why was she alone with Yeonjun in her apartment?

She weighed her options. She could either wake him up and get the answers to all her questions, or she could simply sneak out of her apartment and continue to avoid him like she had been the past 2 weeks.

She sighed, knowing what she had to do. She got back on the bed and started to slowly crawl towards him, carefully putting a hand on his arm and gently shaking it.

“Yeonjun?” she says. “Yeonjun, wake up.”

To her surprise, the blue-haired boy stretches his arms out on the bed, gripping the sheets tightly for a second before he relaxes and lifts his head up, and for what felt like the first time in 2 weeks, their eyes meet.

And just like that, she could feel the butterflies in her stomach start to flutter about again.

“Hey Baby, sorry I fell asleep.” Yeonjun says casually, sitting up on the floor. “Oh god, what time is it? I hope I wasn’t asleep for too long.” he says, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

“It’s fine, no need to apologize. It’s 4pm right now.” she says kindly, checking her watch. “Um, Yeonjun?”

“Yes?” he asks innocently, his mouth quirked up in a smirk.

“How did we end up here exactly?” she asks. “What happened?”

Then Yeonjun filled her in. He told her about how she passed out in the hallway and he brought her to the school clinic, how the school nurse said she might have the chicken pox and she had to be sent home cause of her high fever, how Yeonjun brought her home, how Yeonjun found the number for her family doctor and had him come for a home visit, how the doctor confirmed that she did indeed have chicken pox and she would have to stay home for at least a week, and how Yeonjun watched over her the whole time.

How he carried her from his car all the way up to her apartment, how he removed her shoes before tucking her into bed, how he put a damp face towel over her forehead and replaced it every hour, how he checked her temperature every 30 minutes to see if her fever had died down yet and how relieved he was when it finally did, how he had constantly sent the other guys updates on how she was doing, how he had ordered food to be delivered to her apartment just in case she woke up hungry, and how he had fallen asleep while sitting on the floor.

How he had taken care of her the whole time, yet B pushed the thought of Yeonjun doing all that for her to the back of her mind.

“I have the chicken pox? Oh god oh god, I’m gonna have to miss school for a week?” B says, her head drowning from the sudden heavy load of information. “Why are you here, though? Did you skip school? Where are the other guys?” she asks.

“Yes, you have the chicken pox and yes, your doctor says you can’t leave your house for at least a week, depending on how fast you recover, so he’ll be checking up on you again in a couple of days. Lucky for me, I had chicken pox when I was 3 years old so now I’m immune, and unlucky for them, none of the other guys have had chicken pox before so they can’t really be here right now.” Yeonjun says, skipping over her question about him skipping school. “So it’s just you and me.”

B bites her lip, overwhelmed by the whole situation. It wasn’t even the fact that she had chicken pox that was made her nervous or the fact that she’d be missing a week of school, it was the fact that she was now alone with the boy she had been trying to avoid for the past 2 weeks, and the fact that she couldn’t have Kai or the rest of the guys come over so she could keep distancing herself from Yeonjun. It was the fact that she knew that she couldn’t keep avoiding him any longer. “So it’s just you and me.” she repeats.

Yeonjun smiles. “Lucky for me, unlucky for you, isn’t it?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” she asks suspiciously.

“Baby, come on. You’ve been avoiding me for the past 2 weeks, right?” Yeonjun asks point blank. “And let’s face it, I’ve been waiting to get a moment alone with you for the past 2 weeks. So this situation right now is lucky for me, and unlucky for you.”

“I haven’t been avoiding you.” she says weakly, caught off guard by how direct he was being.

Yeonjun shakes his head. “It’s okay, Baby. I guess I put pressure on you. If anything, it’s my fault that you felt so uncomfortable that you had to start avoiding me.”

“It’s not that, Yeonjun.” she protests. Upon seeing the confused look on his face, she bit her lip. Time to face the truth head on. “I’ll admit that I have been avoiding you, but it wasn’t cause I was uncomfortable with you.”

“Oh? Why then?” Yeonjun asks. “You know it hurts, right? It hurt to see that you never wanted to sit beside me, that you were purposefully avoiding talking to me, that you didn’t want to be alone with me, that you wouldn’t even look at me. I thought I lost a friend. I thought I lost you.” he admits, looking at her intently. “The past 2 weeks hurt.”

B felt an ache in her chest. She was so caught up in her own feelings and so engrossed in avoiding him that she didn’t realize what it might’ve been like for him. “Yeonjun, I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you.” B says, climbing off the bed and sitting down beside him on the floor. “And it wasn’t your fault. It was just me, avoiding you and blocking you out like I did, it was all just me being stupid. I got so caught up in my own thoughts that I didn’t even think about how it might have affected you or our friendship.” She puts her hand on his comfortingly. “I hope you know that I really don’t want to lose you, and I didn’t want to lose our friendship.”

He takes her hand, intertwining their fingers, and gives her a small smile. “And you know I really don’t want to lose you either. So why? Why have you been avoiding me?”

B takes a deep breath, bracing herself for what might happen once she told him the truth. “It’s because I was confused. To be honest, when you performed on club recruitment day and winked at me onstage, it felt like butterflies were born in my stomach that day, and I’ve been trying to keep them from fluttering around but they just seem to keep multiplying.”

Yeonjun smiles. “So I gave you butterflies.” he states.

B nods. “Yes, but after turning you down, those butterflies were very confusing. I told myself that it was nothing, and I figured that as long as I didn’t see you or talk you or even sit beside you, the butterflies would die out and our friendship would be saved. But I guess I was so afraid of losing our friendship that I ended up slowly destroying it, pushing you away and hurting you in the process.”

“But why were you so afraid? I get that you wanted to keep our friendship above all else, that’s the main reason why you turned me down in the first place, right?” Yeonjun asks. “But why were you so afraid? Why did you feel the need to stay away from me?”

“I was afraid that if I were to have a moment alone with you, I wouldn’t be able to handle it. I was afraid that if I looked at you for too long, the butterflies in my stomach would consume me completely. I was afraid that if I talked to you, I’d turn into a blubbering mess because you get me so flustered. I was afraid that if I sat beside you, my heart would start to pound so loud that you’d be able to hear it.” B takes a deep breath before continuing, her voice starting to shake. “I guess I was afraid because deep down, I knew I wasn’t confused. I was just too chickenshit to admit it, even to myself, but I think I was really afraid because a part of me knew that I had feelings for you.”

There��s a moment of silence as B’s words come pouring out. Yeonjun stays quiet, comfortingly tracing circles on her hand with his thumb while she collects her thoughts, putting them together and letting them pour out.

“I was afraid because I had feelings for you, and I was afraid that being alone with you would drive me crazy. But I feel like I’ve been going crazy anyway, ever since that night in the shed, I can’t seem to think straight anymore.” B confesses.

“You were afraid because you had feelings for me?” Yeonjun asks. “Had?”

B shakes her head. “Have. I’m afraid because I have feelings for you.” she clarifies.

“You know since then, I had the next 2 weeks planned out, right?” Yeonjun starts. “I told myself I had 2 weeks to change your mind, and I had it all planned out, starting with dazzling you during our performance on club recruitment day. But damn it, you never gave me a chance.”

“What do you mean?” B asks, confused.

“You started avoiding me, remember?” Yeonjun laughs, the mood feeling lighter after B finally unloaded all her thoughts. “This” he says, holding up their hands, which were still intertwined, “is the closest I’ve been to you these past 2 weeks. At first, I thought I’d fucked up, and I was ready to give up. But then I told myself that I’d try it one more time, give it one more shot, before I leave it alone forever.”

“What are you talking about? Give what one more shot?” B asks again. After finally letting go of the thoughts swirling around in her for the past 2 weeks, she was a little overwhelmed.

Yeonjun turns to face her then, looking right at her. He sighs as he says, “Let me make this perfectly clear. I have not been able to stop thinking about you since that night in the shed. Those 7 minutes kept replaying in my mind, and it killed me that I never got to spend another minute alone with you again. If I had known that those 7 minutes would’ve haunted me for the next 2 weeks of my life, I would’ve...” he says, trailing off when his eyes quickly dart to her lips. “Well, let’s just say I would’ve made those 7 minutes something worth remembering.”

B lets out an “Oh.” and starts blushing profusely.

Upon seeing her reaction, he laughs and squeezes his eyes shut. She was too god damn cute. After shaking his head and telling himself to focus, he continues. “Anyway, after you turned me down, I promised myself that I would try harder. I gave myself 2 weeks to do anything to change your mind, I was ready to fully turn on my charm, to show you that I was someone worth dating, and to show you that our friendship is just as important to me as it is to you. But then you started to ignore me, and I was about to give up and accept that you’d never be interested in going out with me, but then I told myself that if I didn’t try at least one more time, if I didn’t give it one more shot, I would’ve regretted it for the rest of my life.” he says sincerely.

B stays quiet, trying to absorb everything she was hearing. Yeonjun continues, moving even closer, her hand still grasped tightly in his.

“To be completely honest here, I have not enjoyed a conversation with any girl as much as I enjoyed those 7 minutes with you, and I want so much more than those 7 minutes. I want to take you out, I want to give you all the good things I know you deserve, I want to get to know you as much as I can. Yes, I want to be your friend, but God Baby, I don’t know if I can go on like this for much longer because being friends means staying platonic and I want you so much more than that.” he says intensely, lifting her hand up to his chest, right to where he could feel his heartbeat. “I want to show you who I am, I want to know who you are, and I want to be what you deserve. If you’ll let me.”

He hadn’t taken his eyes off her the whole time, but B took a moment to close her eyes and try to clear her thoughts. She didn’t know what to expect when she woke up this morning, but this definitely wasn’t it. As hard as it was, she was glad to finally express her feelings, like a heavy weight had been lifted off her shoulders. But after hearing everything Yeonjun just said, she could feel her heartbeat speeding up once again.

“Baby?” Yeonjun whispers after a moment of silence, looking at her intently. He was so close to her that she could clearly see the rise and fall of his chest as he breathed, her own breathing getting heavier the more he inched closer.

“Yes?” she finally asks, her heart pounding out of her chest as she kept her eyes downward. She couldn’t bring herself to look him in the eye, because if she did, she felt like she would combust in front of him, like the butterflies she felt in her stomach would suddenly explode all at once.

“Baby.” he says again. Only this time, he bravely puts a finger under her chin and lifts her face up so that he could get a better look at her.

B lets out a deep breath and braces herself, knowing there was nowhere to hide now. She let her eyes slowly trail upwards from his chin, her heart skipping a beat when her eyes caught sight of his lips, up to his nose, and finally to his eyes. She was so struck by the intensity when her gaze finally met his that she felt her breath hitch once their eyes met.

He shifted his hand, sliding it further into her neck, from one finger under her chin to his whole palm against her skin, his fingers cradling the back of her neck as his thumb traced slow circles along her jaw. “Look at me.” he says softly.

“Yes?” she finally manages to say out loud, though it came out as a whisper.

The corners of Yeonjun’s mouth tip upwards in a small smile. He leans in closer again, his eyes never leaving hers, until he was so close that their noses were almost touching.

“Will you go out with me?” he whispers, his warmth breath mingling with hers, the tips of their noses gently brushing against each other with every word spoken. “Please?”

B lets out a deep breath, unable to keep her voice steady as she says “Yeonjun…” not really knowing what else to say.

Feeling her breath so close to his mouth, Yeonjun’s eyes flutter downwards, catching a glimpse of her lips, before he says “Fuck it” and pulls her face towards his, their lips finally crashing together.

B could feel a thousand butterflies in her stomach collectively combust as his lips meet hers. Her eyes close as she immediately responds and kisses him back, giving in to him. Her hands reach up to his chest, and she gently grabs his shirt in her fists.

Yeonjun takes it well, and he brings his other hand up to cup her face, holding it in place as his fingers entwined themselves in her hair, further tilting her head back for better access.

B could feel her whole body weaken, as if she were melting in his hands. Her hands relax as she lets go of his shirt and simply lays her palms against his chest, sliding them up to his shoulders and finally to his neck, her fingers tracing his sharp jaw.

Yeonjun pulls away then, separating their mouths. To his surprise, he was breathing heavily, his own heart pounding so loud he could hear it roaring in his ears. He looked at her with a mixture of confusion and wonder, his hands still cupping her face. What was this girl doing to him?

There’s a moment of silence as they simply stare at each other, the sounds of their heavy breathing filling the room. Yeonjun’s eyes earnestly search hers for any sign of how she was feeling, hoping he didn’t overstep his boundaries or make her feel uncomfortable. He didn’t mean to kiss her so suddenly, but after pouring his heart out, he couldn’t hold himself back any longer.

Meanwhile, her eyes were fixated on his, her thumbs absentmindedly tracing circles on his jaw, her fingers tickling the hair on the back of his neck. It took her a moment to realize that Yeonjun really kissed her and that she kissed him back, and she was starting to become lightheaded, as if she were intoxicated.

“Yeonjun?” she says, finally breaking the silence.

“Yes, Baby?” he asks softly, his gaze never leaving hers.

She offers him a small smile before saying, “Yes. I’ll go out with you.”

Upon finally hearing her say yes, Yeonjun lets out a big smile, unable to stop himself. “Really?” He asks as he savors the moment, staring at her eyes and her lips trying to memorize every little detail, reveling in how small and fragile she felt as he cradled her face in his hands, marveling at the heat of her skin under his palms, and once again going breathless at the memory of their kiss.

She laughs a little as he smiles, noticing how his whole face lit up as soon as she said yes. “You happy now?” she asks.

“You know I’m always happy when I’m with you, right?” he says, smiling at her cheekily.

“And you know I have chicken pox, right?” she says teasingly.

“And you know I’ve had them before, right? I’m immune for life.” he reminds her.

“Okay, quick question then, how will you take me out if I’m sick and can’t leave my house for at least a week?” B asks. “Both of us have been struggling for the past 2 weeks and now that we’re finally here, I can’t even go out.” she laughs sheepishly.

“Funny though, if you never got the chicken pox, I don’t think we’d get to where we are now. You and me, dating.” he says sweetly. “Well, dates don’t always mean going to the movies or fancy restaurants.” Yeonjun begins. “I mean, we can always just stay here, hang out, maybe get a repeat of that kiss earlier.” he says, wiggling his eyebrows at her.

She smacks his arm, suddenly flustered again, her cheeks going red.

“I’m serious! How will we be dating if I can’t even leave my apartment?” B asks.

Yeonjun just smiles at her then. “Don’t worry, I’ve already got something in mind. You’ll see.” he says with a glint in his eye.

When she gives him a confused look, he laughs and pulls her in closer again, brushing the hair away from her face before planting a gentle kiss on her forehead. He keeps her close, resting his chin on the top of her head, her scent making him wish he’d never have to leave.

“Thanks for saying yes, Baby.” he whispers, his lips moving against her hair.

B reaches up and takes on of his hands in hers, letting out a sigh. “I don’t think I could ever say no to you again, Yeonjun.” she says, smiling.

Yeonjun smiles, pulling away for a second, only to put a finger under her chin and tilt her head backwards, leaning in so he could kiss her once again.

“Uh, Yeonjun?” B starts again. “Quick question. Should we tell the guys that we’re dating now?”

Yeonjun leans back, thinking it over. “Well, I guess it’s something they should know about since they’re our friends.” he says rationally. “Do you want to tell them?”

As much as she wanted to believe that their friendship wouldn’t end up crashing and burning if things between them didn’t work out, she was still very worried about it. “How about we wait until I’ve recovered and I’m medically cleared to go back to school and see the guys again?” she suggests. “Let’s see how things turn out by the end of the week.”

Yeonjun nods, smiling at her. “Deal.” he says, once again planting a kiss on her forehead.

And to him, it didn’t matter that he skipped school for the afternoon just to look after her, it didn’t matter that he’d have an unexcused absent in his school records, it didn’t matter that he had to constantly text and call different club officers from the Dance club and Jazzed that day to give them instructions while he was away, it didn’t matter that he’d have to sit through another family dinner with his parents later that night. If going through all that meant he’d get to spend this one moment with her in his arms, he knew he’d do it all again in a heartbeat.

°•°

Author’s note: Quick question, dear readers... How do you feel about kissing scenes? I hope no one here is uncomfortable with graphic/detailed kissing scenes because there may be more coming up soon, especially since the characters in the fic are highschool students. Thank you for the likes and especially the comments! Reading comments motivates me to write more because it feels nice to know that people are enjoying my work. :)

[creek-cryptid-deluxe]

Some of you guys may remember awhile back (but not THAT long ago) that I was kind of losing my shit because The Spawn was neglecting her dog duties that she agreed to do with my dad when Indie was brought into our household. Yeah? No? Eh, either way I have an update on that. 

Just a small recap for anyone who doesn’t remember or is new here (I’m still pretending that people actually read this like... for realsies): Way back in August I said no to The Spawn bringing home a dog 5 seperate times because I knew how it would end up. Then she went to my dad, who is soft, and my dad told me that he said yes, but under certain terms and conditions. (TERMS: The Spawn was to handle all expenses related to said dog, would handle all care, training, and exercise needs and at no point was responsibility for the creature to be put on me at all because I had already unwillingly taken on responsibility for Bailey via him bringing her home and I don’t need more.) I laughed and said “Yeah... sure.”

end of Sept we noticed something was wrong with pup’s left front leg. After numerous vet visits and lots of funds, Indie was put on one room, no jumping, no running restrictions from early Oct until the first week of December because her shitbag previous owner had broken that leg in 2 places and while it had almost entirely healed, it had clearly not been treated because one break was at her elbow growth plate, causing her elbow to grow out sideways. So there was an orthopedic operation to remove the already present buildup that causes arthritis, then shave down some bone and pin her elbow back together. 

Since December, The Spawn has been HARDCORE slacking off on her duties to exercise the pup, who as a rat terrier/chaos demon mix has an abundance of energy that if not properly channeled and expelled, leads to significant criminal activity. The Spawn was taking her for a 30 min walk MAYBE 3 times a week and not doing any other play. Meanwhile, my broken down ass was trying to make up for it by walking her or doing HOURS of laser hunting and fetch. Dad tried to help by walking her with Bailey every night, but about 4 weeks ago that ended with him getting a broken rib because the girls saw a cat before he did and he didn’t have time to brace himself. He has been publicly banned from walking the little one. 

RECAP DONE.

So me supplementing has been really wearing on me. The entire reason I don’t personally have any pets (despite very much wanting a bunny or a couple rat friends) is that I don’t have the energy to be responsible for their care. So for the last few months, every 2 weeks or so, I break down to dad, ranting and crying about how I can’t keep doing this and that he allowed this to happen, so it’s his problem and he needs to fix it like... NOW because if it continues, I’m going to get involved and I will not be nice. As in every day that she doesn’t exercise the dog properly, she will lose her tv for a day. No entertainment for her dog means no entertainment for her. He kept saying “no no no I’ll do it.” then not fucking doing it. 

2 days ago, I broke. No ranting. No anger. Just broken sobs. It’s just too much. He promised AGAIN to talk to her. Well yesterday there was an incident that was the last straw for him I guess. 

While he was at work, The Spawn went to walk Indie. When she does walk Indie, once for 30 mins, she’s been implementing training to get her to be better behaved on the walks because Indie suffers from barrier aggression. When on the leash, behind the fence that surrounds our yard, or behind the windows inside the house, if she sees another dog walk by she loses it. Hell when getting them ready for walks, once she is on leash, she will lose her shit on Bailey. SO The Spawn has been filling her hoodie pouch with treats and before they even leave, they go to the door, The Spawn says “Sit. Wait...Wait...” with the intent of Indie sitting until the door is open. Eventually there will be a command involved that gives Indie the all clear to get up and head out. 

So they go through that yesterday around 3 or 4 in the afternoon. They depart for their walk around the neighborhood and within a few minutes I hear Indie’s “I’m losing my shit” bark/snarl combo and The Spawn yelling commands at her. A minute or two later, The Spawn storms in with Indie in tow and says “Well since she decided she can’t behave, we aren’t walking today.” And I looked at her skeptically from across the room because dogs don’t work like that AND exercise is not a privilege for dogs, it’s a necessity. So not walking her because she misbehaved would be on par with me not allowing The Spawn dinner because she misbehaved. Then, seeing my face, The Spawn says “She needs to learn that there are consequences for her actions.”

Y’ALL. I involuntarily laughed, so I had to turn away from her and pretend I was coughing. Let’s talk about why I find this hilarious. This statement came from a 16 yr old child who a few weeks ago was asked to watch the dogs for a couple hours while I went to grandma’s to help her with something. I had been reminding her DAILY for a week that this was happening. As I expected, she tried to weasel out of it. I told her that it wasn’t up for discussion, she was doing it, and that I had phrased it as a question as a courtesy. She began to argue. I told her 3 times over the span of an hour that if she didn’t stop arguing that there would be consequences. She chose to continue, so she found herself grounded from her tv and car for the day. (At the end of that hour and after 3 warnings, all via text and verifiable, I finally just told her to bring me her keys. She chose, instead, to come downstairs, empty handed, and CONTINUE to argue, so she lost the tv too.) She threw a massive tantrum which ended with her screaming and crying to my dad about how abusive and mean I am. *insert eyeroll from both of us*  All over, what? The consequences of her own actions. 

So you see why this was funny. Anyway, I let her go upstairs and text dad that we needed to talk when he arrived and to text me so I could meet him out in the garage. 

I met him out there and relayed the events to him. He also involuntarily laughed about the dog needing to learn that her actions have consequences. Then he said “Ok, I’m talking to her tonight.” 

Now, my dad has a signature move for when he has to have tough or unpleasant conversations. He says “Let’s go get ice cream.” I think it’s meant to soften the blow while also catching the person off guard and being in public for less chance of a scene. 

Anyway, they talked. The overall gist was “we made a deal. the deal is not being upheld. Bailey is a much lower energy dog but still requires 2 seperate 4 mile walks a day, and your high energy PUPPY is getting 1/4 of that at best on most days and your mom and I have been picking up the slack as best we can but that has resulted in a broken rib for me and your mom is really at the end of her rope and has been unable to actually rest for a full couple days like she needs to recover from all the random shit she does for you like covering kettle corn and berries in chocolate.”

The Spawn tried to make excuses. “I’m in school full time AND working.” My dad responded with: “First of all, you aren’t in school full time because you do 2 hrs a day in person and then another hour online AT MOST 5 days a week, then work 4-6 hrs at night 4 days a week. Second of all, I work 13 hrs a day 5 days a week and yet I still find a way to make sure my dog’s needs are met via a 4-6 mile walk before work and another in the evening after dark, unless your mom is up to pokemon in the park, which Bailey comes with us for and gets significantly more walks. So that excuse is b.s.”

She mentioned that she tried that day but she misbehaved. dad told her that no matter how she is behaving, walks are not negotiable. Then he used my dinner analogy. She finally gave up trying to make excuses to be lazy and told him that on days she doesn’t have both work and school she will do 2 hrs worth of walks. (I mentioned to dad that this leaves 3 days a week where she is implying she doesn’t have to do anything. he said he will address that but not that night.)

To her credit, The Spawn has done 2 hour long walks today. She even came up with a plan. The first half of each is structured walk/training time and the second half will be at the dog park across the street so that she has unstructured running time where she can get up to full speed. Keeps her from getting frustrated and bored on the walk and allows her to get full speed runs in without killing The Spawn’s knees. 

We shall see how this holds up long term. Fingers crossed and all that. 

[and-the-world-is-quiet-here]

Live 2020 debate commentary from a salty, disabled, and VERY pissed gen Z

 Yall he just said he’s immune

My dad just left the room

Bitch are u saying Johnson and Johnson is going to make the vaccine?

sir that’s the diaper company…..smh

Biden just said its going to be a dark winter

#winter is coming

“virus.....that came from china” -trump 2020

“were learning to live with it”-trump 2020

apparently “Biden lives in his basement”-your president 2020

totally accurate.....obviously

ohhhh biden just said were learning to die with it

trump interrupted biden

Mam I thought you said you were muting them?

biden laugh count at 3

he all about the once percent till its the dead ones

trump interrupting at 3...nvm its now 4

this debate is making my dog sad

interrupting now at 5 for trump

trump saying his young sons illness just “went away”

bitch he’s may age and no it did not just “go away”

he was in quarantine for two weeks

apparently nyc is a ghost town 

its not a ghost town trump I live right next to it

loudest neighbors ever

trump don’t call him Anthony

his name is DOCTOR Fauci

treat him with the respect he deserves

Biden looks so sad

nvm he legit looks like the joker right now

HALFWAY MARKKK

why is this at 9?

sir its a school night

I need time to scroll through my feed for hours before collapsing

Biden don’t use the word sovereignty

trump doesn't know what it means

thats discrimination against trumps

ohhh hes attacking hunter (biden) again

so he has a wee drug problem?

at this point everyone got one!

your the one making lewd comments about your infant daughter on national tv

(look it up he talks about his 6 month old daughters legs but and breasts)

get him big b!!

h876689908776- my dog 2020

he wants to express his disappointment

the light boxs is stealing his mother attention

ohh hes being rude to the moderator again

u a strong independent Indian woman get him girll!

mute his mike

prty plz

I am dissapionted in you

he’s saying he’s not allowed to release his taxs

(that is a proven lie)

“i was put through a phony witch hunt”- you'll never guess 2020

hes going after his BROTHER now

how is this allowed?

who decided trumps strategy would be to accuse his opponent of his own crimes?

look at the insults guys its a crystal ball

stay ahead of the scandal's

WILL YOU LEAVE HIS SON ALONE PLEASE

THESE ARE HIS CHILDREN LEAVE THEM ALONE

“i was a business man doing business”-trump 2020

no sir you were another rich white guy taking advantage of tax brakes and cheap foreign labor in asia

#american jobs as long as i don’t have to pay minimum wage

#you know like a DECENT FUCKING PERSON

Trump interrupted again

I lost count a while ago

Biden is staring into my soul

oh Biden just played the middle class childhood card

I haven't heard a single mute so far?

trump just said his bromance with kim jung un saved america from nuclear war

dont through my boy Obama under the bus

and another interruption

my big bro just screamed “MUTE BUTTON MUTE BUTTON MUTE BUTTON”

honestly same

10 more min guys

hang in there

OHHH trump just got MUTEDDDDDD

Biden is now on legitimate policy 

ahhh hes proud of his plan

annd trump just interrupted

trump just kissed up to the moderator

trump just said biden’s more liberal than bernie

ohhh

biden just said trump dosent know who hes running against

hes like “this is joe biden”

like I know bro but slick burn anyway

ohhh they muted trump again!!!!

perfect opportunity to mute missed

trump just blamed healthcare issues on nancy peloski

biden says the the republicans wont pass it

(btw hes actualy right)

2 mins left

and trump is speaking through it

1 min left

omg what a waste of air

I really want him to test his “immunity”

preferably during a harsh winter

ITS TEN GUYSSS

there running over

they still haven't covered immigration

shit

I have just learned there is 30 min left

I think I would rather kill myself than watch the rest of this

I’m seriously have a sensory overload right now

I’m doing this for u

“children are brought here by coyotes”-presedentail cown 2020

what a wack ass sentence

hes like ohIi haven't been putting kids in cages

and then just went but I didn't build them they were built in 2014

(contradiction much)

“who built the cages”

“who built the cages”

“who built the cages”

yes it was Obama but guess what

THEY WERNT BUILT FOR KIDS

there ment to house animals, evidence, and adult prisoners in emergency situations

THEY WERNT MENT FOR 3 YEAR OLDS

Biden was just like “well no actually kids come with PARENTS”

(kids hardly ever come over with out parents)

and then he was like and also WHO LOST TRACK OF OVER 1,000 PARENTS

(thats 500+ new orphans at the least)

hes saying only the illegal immigrants with the lowest IQs come back after being deported

we said the same thing in december about you but ya’know

my mum was like “anyone eating chocolate” and I was like “im snaking on this ignorance” and she was like “dont do that you'll get indigestion”

“no one has done more for the black community then Donald trump except for maybe Abraham Lincoln”

oh yeah Biden just brought up how trump publicly campaigned for the execution of the central park 5

WHO WERE CHILDREN

AND OH YEAH THEY WERE COMPLETELY INNOCENT

trump just yelled at Biden, got muted, and just yelled louder

trump just said he cant see the audience but hes the least racist person in the room

“Abraham lincoln here is one of the most racist presidents in american history”- biden 2020

biden just went “oh god”

he just said that he used to not support the blm movement because they chanted rude things about police officers

I would like to reiterate that “pigs in a blanket” has never been chanted in a protest or been a prominent statement in the blm movement nor “fry em like bacon” so what trump is saying is factually incorrect

unless hes on some sort of far right conservative twitter feed were he came across a video of some drunk white college kids chanting it 

but you know what ever fits you narrative

plus I would be pretty pissed if I kept getting shot at for no reason so....

Biden making more logical decisions

trump was like why have you never done all this stuff when you were vice president

“we had a republican congress” -biden 2020

we have the cleanest air

we have the cleanest crystal clear water

sir, i know you've been to mexico

don’t lie

the waters gorges down there

and not owned by your smug ass

trump just called china filthy

so you know....

*whispers* racism

ok 5 min left

for real this time

trump just went “aoc plus 3: and then hes like she knows nothing about the climate

ummm.... you dont even believe in climate change

bidens like “are....is...is is”

good for you

correcting your grammar

trump just said “the wind kills all the birds” out of the godamn blue

(he means wind mills and its untrue)

“Whats the next question baba”

“the final question is leadership which he doesnt have”- baba 2020

I feel bad for anybody watching this on the toilet

bidens starring into your soul

he knows what your doing

there officially overtime

its 10 33

they haven't even done the last section yet

btw ITS A SCHOOL NIGHT

why do they host these so late

I should be pretending to be asleep right now

this is generational discrimination

plus trumps supporters are so old there asleep by now

ohhhh its over

1036 final time

okay so thoughts....I generally dont like the party system i think its ridiculous the system was not designed for it, and its now more about loyalty then the actual candidates. I also am really hesitant to put another strait white male in the oval office, especially one thats from “the lucky few” I.E. the smallest voting generation in the country and also the one that already holds the most positions. That being said, at this point its really anyone but trump and I think bidens got the experience to turn things around. 

I AM IN SCHOOL I CANNOT VOTE. I am relying on all my older friends, followers, neighbors, and community members. To make an educated decision that wont further degrade the once hopeful future my generation awaits. Please if you can vote VOTE the kids are relying on you!

P.S. sorry i wasn't able to edit this earlier i struggle alot with spelling and didnt have the time to edit this because I HAD TO GO TO BED AND THEN GO TO SCHOOL. Why am I more politically active then people twice my age you might ask? Well, thats because adults are lazy and need to get of their gd asses and VOTE. So kids dont have to do the legwork for them. 

I have said my peace now, have a wonderful day!

[foofygoldfish]

hello i am impatient and just want to delete the note, so here! 50 facts on rosie!

Personal

1)      Age?

25 - born a month after outbreak day

2)      Gender?

cis female

3)      Romantic/Sexual Orientation?

bi

4)      Height?

5'.

5)      Race?

human

6)      What do they look like? (i.e, hair color, eye color, etc).

anya taylor joy!

7)      Any disabilities?

She has a bad back - it stops her from going out on regular patrols etc, and cemented her decision to be a teacher and not a soldier.

8)      Is there a meaning to their name?

to me? i wanted something floral lol. in-universe - it was her great-grandmother's name. her great-grandma is the one who raised her dad, and she died during the initial outbreak

9)      What makes them, them? 

she's definitely more of a peacemaker - while rosie may not have a formal teachers education, she's still very good at it, and she uses some of her mediation skills she's learned on the job on her friends. which they tend to not like lol. she's also really good at playing the piano - in another world, she'd be good enough to be pro, or at least have a spotify page. mood-wise, she's always outwardly happy - even when she feels like she's dying inside, she tries to look as happy as can be, or at least neutral.

10)   What do they want to be when they grow up/what do they want to do with their lives?

in her world? she wants to be alive, honestly. she's already a teacher, which she loves doing, but she might be interested in transitioning fully to being a librarian. in a no-outbreak au, she teaches online while her and abby travel, but she thinks she would like doing music for video games and movies or something.

Family

11)   Do they have parents? What are they like and how do they act with their child(ren)?

her parents are christopher and jessica - both were very loving and supportive while they were alive. they died about a year before the events in jackson, after running in to a group of scars.

12)   Do they have siblings? How do they interact with them? If not, do they wish they had siblings?

she has a twin sister, hazel, who was her lifeline. the two were almost literally inseperable, up until hazel was killed by runners.

13)   Extended family? Do they see them often?

the only extended family she knows of is her nephew, wren - he's eight when the events of the game take place. the rest of her family was back in austin, and her parents weren't able to make contact with them after the outbreak.

14)   Do they like where they live? (Is it a safe place?)

for most of her life, yeah, she does - life under FEDRA isn't ideal, but it's safe, and they have enough food, and with the WLF? it's pretty good, and the little city at the stadium is really nice. after jackson, though? the cracks start showing, and she decides to leave the WLF with wren.

15)   Where do they live? Are they wealthy? Poor? Middle-Class?

over the course of the story: seattle, jackson, and avalon, on catalina island. money isn't really a thing? she's comfortable enough, and is happy with what she has.

16)   Do they have a lot of expectations/pressure on them from family to do great?

not really.

17)   Do they have pets?

she's between pets at the time of the game - her dog died a few months before hazel, and she just wasn't ready for another dog quite yet. she semi-steals one of elizabeth's cats while she's in jackson, and she gets more cats and dogs when she finally makes it to avalon.

18)   Who do they look up to the most/are the closest to in their family?

her sister. hazel is brave and strong and loving and -- rosie doesn't really see any faults with her (she does have faults, but rosie chooses to ignore them...). if she had been able to meet her grandpa, though, she would have adored him, and definitely would have been spoiled rotten by him.

19)   This there anything special about their family?

for the longest time, it was that they were whole - they weren't sure about the extended family, sure, but their little nuclear family was intact. after her parents die? rosie thinks they're just like any other family in seattle.

20)   Do they wish they lived in a different family/household?

not really.

Friends

21)   Best Friend(s)?

Hazel, Whitney

22)   Who was their first friend?

That wasn't her sister? A boy name Justin, who lived in the same apartment building as her family. They were pretty close for a while, but his family left Seattle around the time the WLF became active.

23)   What is their friend group like?

It's not the biggest - she's closest with Whitney and Nora, but most of her friends are her coworkers in the school and library, though after she befriends Abby, she starts to befriend more of the Salt Lake crew and things get a little more... chaotic.

24)   Do they have a love/hate relationship with any of them?

Not... that I can think of? She's not particularly fond of some of the Salt Lake crew,

25)   Do they consider any of their friends to be like siblings?

I mean, Hazel is literally her sister

26)   Have they ever hurt a friend or lost one?

Hazel :(

27)   Do they have a crush on any of their friends?

....Abby.

28)   Do they share classes with good friends?

She did! She had most of her classes with Justin and a few other friends from high school, some of whom are still in Seattle, though she's drifted apart from them.

29)   Whom do they go to the most when they need a shoulder to cry on?

Hazel. After Hazel's gone - Abby, even though Abby's not really that type of friend - she's just the first person Rosie thinks of.

30)   What would this person do without their friends in their lives?

Be very quiet. Without the presence of her friends, she'd be perfectly content disappearing into her books, and it's highly possible she'll go days without talking to someone.

School

31)   What grade are they in? If they aren’t in school, how come?

She's.... 25?

32)   Do/Did they like their teachers? Was there a good one? Bad one?

She didn't like her math teachers, but she adored her science teachers. Oddly enough for someone who ended up teaching history, she didn't really care for her history teachers - they were kinda boring.

33)   Do/Did they listen to their teachers or are/where they goofing off a lot?

She was a bit of a teachers pet lmao - she wanted to learn, so she was very good at staring the kids who were misbehaving down so they'd shut up.

34)   Are/Where they a good student grade wise?

She wasn't great, but she wasn't terrible - solid B's.

35)   Do/Did they need extra help?

Not really. She ocassionally needed help finding a place to do her homework, or for clarifications on things (particularly history-related) that didn't quite sound right, but that's it.

36)   What is/was their school like?

Ever-changing. First it was in a tent, then an old school, then she was a day student at one of the military schools... She finished her schooling at the new WLF school, and went on to teach there a few years later.

37)   Do/Did they have bullies in school?

A few that'd tease her for being quiet, but that's as far as it ever went. To be fair - Hazel was protective, and the other kids knew not to mess with either of the Bowers girls lol

38)   Have they ever gotten into a fight at school?

She threw a book at a kid in her class once. Teacher didn't believe it was her, though, so she got off scot-free. She's still not sure how she got away with that...

39)   Have they ever done something stupid/embarrassing at school?

She'd fall asleep in her history classes. A Lot.

40)   How far do they plan to go with school? If they dropped out, do they want to go back?

In a no-outbreak au? She would go as far as getting a dual masters degree - one in education, and one in library science.

Other

41)   Are they dating anyone? Do they want to date? Are the married? Divorced? 

she's in a friends-with-benefits relationship with abby, which eventually (eventually) turns into a proper relationship.

42)   What is their favorite hobby? Do they keep it a secret?

for something that isn't book-related - she likes pressing flowers and roller skating! she can't skate as much as she wants because of her back, but she still likes skating around the stadium in the early hours of the morning.

43)   If they could have one thing in life, what would it be?

gonna be sad here and say she wants her family back.

44)   Do they work? If so, what is it? If not, are they looking for one or even want one?

she's a teacher/librarian! she only has two classes in the morning, she works in the library in the afternoon

45)   Do they use social media?

well, social media doesn't exactly exist in the apocalypse... in a modern/no-outbreak au, though, yes - she has an instagram, and her and abby have a youtube channel.

46)   Have they ever been in the hospital?

yes - after she hurt her back, she was kept in the hospital tent for about a week. since then, she hasn't really been in for anything other than cuts and scrapes, at least until the day hazel died - she was kept overnight to make triple sure she hadn't been bitten, and because nora was worried about her.

47)   Do they believe in the supernatural, that there is more than the eye can see?

oh yeah. she absolutely believes that the stadium is haunted.

48)   What do they do when they get angry, stressed, or upset?

She gets quiet - if she's scared, she'll cling to the closest person she's comfortable around.

49)   Would they consider themselves as a good person, bad person, or morally grey?

she thinks she's a good person, but she knows that she can be very petty and spiteful, though rarely over 'major' things

50)   Does this OC have any part of you in them? (I.e, personality traits, similar background, etc)

well, her name for one lmao. also loving abby. and her arms. and being a librarian. and uh.... yeah...... more and more of me is seeping in to her OOPS

[thomas-mvller]

Tag games x 283129

Hello everyone so uh lately i've started to be more active on my music sideblog which means i've been hearting stuff like crazy for the past couple of months aka all the things i've been tagged in has been buried under all that nonsense SO because i hate leaving things undone i thought on doing them all at once and tagging a bunch of people so they can get a little distraction by doing them (as in, not all of them but whichever they might want to do)

Again: you do not have to do all of them, not even one if you don't feel like doing so! there's a game for everyone so hey!

Tagging: @havertsz @foreverbayern @germanynts @sherlockisonfire @debushit @sadiiomane10 @miasanmuller @elishamanning @abcde-fc @bbjim @littletentaclemonster @tamtam-elizabeth @minimalloss @pearfight and whoever wants to do this! if you see it, consider yourself tagged >:))

Alright, here we go:

1) I was tagged by @/tamtam-elizabeth and @/sadiiomane10 to post a capture of my lockscreen, homescreen and last song i listened to. Thank you both <3

I used to be very annoying when it came to changing my lock/homescreen so now i just don’t do that often anymore (previous to that my homescreen was a pic of lfc winning ucl OBVIOUSLY) also i haven’t really been listening to music lately but i did have a depeche mode phase like two weeks ago and this was the song i replayed the most so hey!

///

2) “Get to know me” tag

Tagged by the always thoughtful @/tamtam-elizabeth , thank you and i’m sorry for taking so long ;-; <3

Name: Cloud

Birthday: sometime in november

Zodiac Sign: scorpio

Height: 5′4′’ or 1.65 (last time i checked..... which was like seven years ago)

Hobbies: lately it has been sewing facemasks 😂 that aside i like watching movies, random videos on yt, baking and crafting sometimes

Favorite colors: black, red and teal

Favorite Book: don’t think i have one :o

Last Song Listened to: barrel of a gun by depeche mode

Last Movie Watched: currently watching prince of egypt. if that doesn’t count then ben hur 😂

Inspiration or Muse: i really don’t know what to say here 😂

Dream Job: i still haven’t given up to my goal but at this point i just want a job that gives me stability and zero worries

Reason Behind my URL: Thomas Müller (German pronunciation: [ˈtoːmas ˈmʏlɐ]; born 13 September 1989) is a German professional footballer who plays for Bundesliga club Bayern Munich. A versatile player, Müller plays as a midfielde- okay no in all seriousness yess this url is bc of a football player 😂

///

3) Ten songs playlist tag

Tagged by the joy that is @/foreverbayern and the always sweetest @/havertsz . thank youuuuu <3

Rules: We’re snooping through your playlist. Put your entire music library on shuffle and list the first 10 songs and then choose 10 victims.

Some months ago I made the mistake of transfering the songs i had in my old computer to my current laptop and there are some stuff that just........ should not be acknowledged so i can’t do shuffle HOWEVER i will choose ten random songs i’ve listened to/discovered this year (technically speaking is the same) so here it is:

art-i-ficial by x-ray spex

sunny afternoon by the kinks

desire lines by lush

paper cuts by incubus

pure love by hayley williams

spirit by bauhaus

no one knows by screaming trees

let’s love by suho

all we need is a dream by cheap trick

cosmonauts by fiona apple

bonus: you’re so close by peter murphy (god i adore this song)

I wouldn’t be surprised if these aren’t your cup of tea tbh 😂

///

4) “Core aesthetic” tag

Tagged by @/havertsz - i’m sorry for the delay ;-; and thank you <3

rules: search your name + "core aesthetic" on pinterest, get a moodboard & select a few photos that come up

i can’t really use pinterest so i googled it instead, as you might’ve guessed this is what i got 😂

ps: i’ve been informed not to use pinterest so if you wish follow this post’s indications

ah this is so pretty, i loved doing this!

///

5) 

Tagged by @/germanynts @/havertsz and @/elishamanning to do this tag, thank you all <3

rules: describe yourself with pictures you already have saved. no downloading or searching for new ones. then tag 10 people.

if you want further explanations for each pic... ask ahead 😂

///

6) “bold what applies” tag

Tagged by the always enJoyable @/foreverbayern, thank yoooou <3

rules: bold what applies to you and tag a bunch of people

- Appearance

I am over 5’5 // I wear glasses/contacts // I have blonde hair // I prefer loose clothing over tight clothing // I have one or more piercings (had three...) // I have at least one tattoo // I have blue eyes // I have dyed or highlighted my hair // I have gotten plastic surgery // I have or had braces // I sunburn easily // I have freckles // I paint my nails // I typically wear makeup // I don’t often smile // I am pleased with how I look  // I prefer Nike to Adidas // I wear baseball caps backwards

- Hobbies and interests

I play a sport // I can play an instrument // I am artistic // I know more than one language // I have won a trophy in some sort of competition // I can cook or bake without a recipe // I know how to swim // I enjoy writing // I can do origami // I prefer movies to tv shows // I can execute a perfect somersault // I enjoy singing // I could survive in the wild on my own // I have read a new book series this year // I enjoy spending time with my friends // I travel during school or work breaks // I can do a handstand

Relationships

I am in a relationship // I have been single for over a year // I have a crush  // I have a best friend I have known for ten years // my parents are together // I have hooked up with my best friend // I am adopted // My crush has confessed to me // I have a long-distance relationship // I am an only child // I give advice to my friends // I have made an online friend // I met up with someone I have met online

- Aesthetic

I have heard the ocean in a conch shell // I have watched the sunrise // I enjoy rainy days // I have slept under the stars // I meditate outside // the sound of chirping calms me // I enjoy the smell of the beach // I know what snow tastes like // I listen to music to fall asleep (i did that for a long time and i sicnerely don’t recommend it) // I enjoy thunderstorms // I enjoy cloud watching // I have attended a bonfire (quick story time: one time when i was 12 my friends and i sneaked into our seniors’ school anniversary activities and they lit this huge bonfire near the football field, it was nuts) // I pay close attention to colours // I find mystery in the ocean (spoopy shit) // I enjoy hiking on nature paths // Autumn is my favourite season

- Miscellaneous

I can fall asleep in moving vehicles // I am the mom friend // I live by a certain quote(s) // I like the smell of sharpies // I am involved in extracurricular activities // I enjoy Mexican food // I can drive a stick-shift // I believe in true love // I make up scenarios to fall asleep // I sing in the shower // I wish I lived in a video game // I have a canopy above my bed // I am multiracial // I am a redhead // I own at least 3 dogs

///

my god this is getting embarassing i had stuff long due ;-;

7) 

Tagged by @/tamtam-elizabeth. think you for thanking on me when doing tag games, i mean it :-: <3

How old are you?: 24

Surgeries?: one

Tattoos?: none yet ://

Ever hit a deer?: i have never seen one so... no 😂

Sang karaoke?: yeah... years ago 😂

Ice skated?: nope

Ridden a motorcycle?: had the chance but nope

Ridden in an ambulance?: nope

Skipped school?: a handful of times

Stayed in a hospital?: for a few hours

Broken bones?: nope

Last phone call?: i haven’t called anyone in ages 😂

Last text from?: my mom

Pepsi or coke?: coke but i don’t mind having pepsi

Favorite pie?: haven’t had one

Favorite pizza?: chorizo + corn + red pepper

Favorite season?: autumn

Received a ticket?: don’t even know how to drive

Favorite color?: black, red and teal

Sunset or sunrise?: both!

Favorite Christmas song?: don’t think i have one, maybe universe by exo?

Cupcakes or cookies?: uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh good q, cookies?

///

8) “find your match” tag game

Tagged by @/tamtam-elizabeth, you’re allowed to punch me in the face at this point

Rules:

Take the test

Reblog this post with what type you got

Tag 7 mutuals to do the same!

I got the Dreamer and my ideal partner would be The Innovator ?)

Seek out opportunities to collaborate with INNOVATOR types, who combine your lofty idealism with a focus on pragmatic solutions. The grounding energy of the INNOVATOR can inspire you to apply your imagination to real-world change.

that’s deep fam 😂 but okay!

///

9) “get to know me tag”

Tagged by: @/littletentaclemonster . thank you and sorry for the delay ;-; <3

nickname: cloud zodiac: scorpio height: 5′4″ / 1.65 last movie I saw: can you believe i managed to watch another thing while making this? anyway it was The celluloid closet last thing I googled: block site extension favorite musician: as of right now? depeche mode song stuck in my head: you’re so close by peter murphy other blogs: @/brltpop and @/s-lay-ing amount of sleep: as long as i can get (usually 7 or 8) lucky numbers: don’t think i have one dream job: whatever gives me stability what am I wearing: pajamas  favorite food: chinese, mexican and italian language: which ones do i know? spanish and english somewhat. i want to learn japanese and german :c can I play an instrument: nope favorite song: atm is YOU’RE SO CLOSE (8) random fact: my nails usually grow sort of square except for my thumb and index fingers, they grow round for whatever reason describe yourself in aesthetic things: ?????????? idk man, messy room? loose clothes? football? cd’s on a shelf, posters on the walls ?????

///

MY GOD WHY AM I LIKE THIS????????? 

10)

Tagged by @/littletentaclemonster you too can punch me in the face

Rules: Bold the statements that apply to you, italicize your aspirations, then tag nine people.

AIR: I have small hands • I love the night sky • I watch small animals and birds when I pass them by • I drink herbal tea • I wake to see dawn • The smell of dust is comforting • I’m valued for being wise • I prefer books to music • I meditate • I find joy in learning new truths from the world around me

FIRE: I don’t have straight hair • I like to wear ripped jeans • I play an organized sport  • I love dogs • I am not afraid of adventure • I love to talk to strangers • I always try new foods • I enjoy road trips • Summer is my favorite season • My radio is always playing

WATER: I wear bracelets on my wrists • I love the bustle of the city • I have more than one set of piercings • I read poetry • I love the sound of a thunderstorm • I want to travel the world • I sleep past midday most days • I love dimly lit diners and fluorescent signs • I rewatch kids’ shows out of nostalgia • I see emotions in colors not words

EARTH: I wear glasses/contacts • I enjoy doing the laundry • I am a vegetarian • I have an excellent sense of time • My humor is very cheerful • I am a valued advisor to my friends • I believe in true love • I love the chill of mountain air • I’m always listening to music • I am highly trusted by the people in my life

AETHER: I go without makeup in my daily life • I make my own artwork • I keep on track of my tasks and time • I always know true north • I see beauty in everything (sort of) • I can always smell flowers • I smile at everyone I pass by • I always fear history repeating itself • I have recovered from a mental disorder • I can love unconditionally

Water an aether huh, i don’t know what to do with this information 😂

/////////////

if you ask me i would very much appreciate it if you do the songs playlist tag bc i need recommendations thanks. Also massive apologies to the ones that were due since last year I had them in my drafts i swear!

Stay safe everyone :D

[socialpracticegrouprca]

‘What do our publics look like now?’

Activity with Sadie Edginton June 16th 2020

‘Here is my lockdown publics diagram developed for a workshop session, which I led with a group of students for the RCA Social Practice Group. I led a session on this again afterwards with a group of art educators and artists for a practice sharing group. Called ‘Writing the Rules for Zoom’ started by Alex Parry it was kick started by Alex’s development of ideas around this topic for a session for the social practice group in May 2020.

The diagram asks questions about different networks, communities and publics that we are communicating with and are in connection with (in the context of the first 3 months of lockdown). I developed mine through a process of creating a few drawings, into this kind of Venn diagram overlapped series of shapes. It was interesting to think about who is ‘the public’ to me, are these people I just don’t know, the ‘unknown’? Or people in various roles, networks or spaces? The process of doing it explored which groups of people I tended to identify as being ‘the public’ or which different publics and communities I was aware of being in contact with, both virtually and physically, at this time.

Putting people into ‘categories’ can of course be problematic, so it was definitely a process of thinking through this. Do publics get reduced or expanded at this time? As the people we are in touch regularly has physically changed a lot, depending where you happen to ‘lockdown’ or which networks or communities you are part of, I wondered how we can analyse and unpick possible and potential new ‘publics’ or communities to interact with, to play with as an audience or to set artwork within, or to communicate with. The delivery drivers, the supermarket workers, the people who walk past your house, these are all potential collaborators, viewers or audiences. Memorable moments in the workshops were: people identifying making regular connections with dogs (not their owners) on the beach, wondering who the people are behind newsletters in email inboxes, having the unnerving ability to ‘select’ online communities and students commenting on the ‘outsourcing’ of care and being able to be in a position of selecting which people or networks they wanted to hear from, speak to, listen to at this time.

It was a process of conceptualising the connections and groups as new communities, to seeing potential works coming out of unexpected daily relationships created by the change in social networks due to the pandemic. To see who or how we communicate in terms of varying distances. One artist commented that it made her think about the varying distances of intimacy that she has now with different people, a shorter distance with a partner, then family members, growing to huge distances, from 1 metre to 2 metre’s, to online distances that stretch across the world.’

More about the session below:

Social Practice Group Session 6, Tuesday 16th June 2020

Notes written: 22/06/2020 by Sadie Edginton

We wanted the last social practice session to be different. After experiencing other practitioners work over the weeks, we wanted the emphasis to be turned onto the students, to create some have room for them to try out their own ideas and to experiment with the format. The group had grown to become a space which felt comfortable, some recognisable faces every week, although there was always a few new people which worked well. Everyone could potentially test out ideas within the safety of the online zoom session format. It seemed to have become important that the group had evolved into a sense of familiarity whilst maintaining the possibility for unexpected things occurring. One student said, that was what she like about this group, that it was one place she could go knowing something surprising might happen. With some students returning often and creating a general sense of being relaxed, the group had created a comfortable sharing space, where people could voice their ideas, share thoughts about where they were, and most seemed open to trying new things out.

We had been playing with this space for the last few months since the beginning of lockdown. This was the sixth session and last (official) session of the school year. We'd had sessions by Louise Shelley, a curator; about group listening and reading processes, Alex Parry led us through a playful workshop stretching the rules for zoom, and Tim tried out his laptop-synthesiser experiment creating collective sounds out of objects in our homes with students now based across the globe overlapping their object orchestras into a magical din.

I had missed a session two weeks before where the group had had an informal conversation about what they'd like to try out. We'd had some interesting feedback too where students had said they felt like this space for sharing and practicing was needed, and it seemed to open-up space for vulnerability (through sharing) and support.

I had planned a vague structure for the last session, I would introduce, do a check-in so that everyone had a chance to speak and do a half hour workshop about mapping the publics and communities we were connecting with now (and how this has changed during lockdown).

There was then time for three students slots; Sally's workshop on confronting the awkwardnesses of online communication, followed by a 5 minute break, then Kats workshop about the taste and other sense. Everything went over time-wise so there was only 10 minutes left for Yuka to play us her experiments with the spatiality of sound.

We started by going around the group using these two questions for a check-in.

'What does 'the public' look like, from where you are now?'

'How are you connecting to a community?'

These questions were borrowed from a recording of a discussion here: http://www.nowandthere.org/blog/2020/4/7/nt-asks-what-does-public-mean-right-now

It was interesting to hear about where the students were based, most in the UK, then China, Japan and Paris. We had seven students and Hannah and I, so altogether it worked well for creating a grid of nine on the gallery view on zoom. As we went around the group I was struck how each student shared with us a detailed picture of how they were in unexpected circumstances and feeling isolated. Some had just travelled to another place, and were stuck living mostly inside and with family, they were not sure about what a local community might look like. One had discovered new communities through volunteering for local mutual aid groups, Hannah mentioned working with existing connections to create networks of in different ways, new connections with animals and birds seeming to be important. Some international students admitted they didn't feel like they had a community, whether they were in London, or back home. One said she felt like there were layers of community, from those close by who were a local support system, then the online groups she was part of, and then her family members who were contactable by phone. Another student said that communities felt ‘chosen’ at the moment; that you could select who you wanted to be in touch with, and it was almost a way of ‘outsourcing care’. Another mentioned that new rituals had emerged in her local village neighbourhood, kicked off by the Thursday clap for carers, leading to local people creating other ways to come together in the street, such as VE day where they set-up tables outside. Another student said it was so long since he had been in Beijing, now that he was back there again, he had to try to find people again who he had known a long time ago.

Next we created 'What do our publics look like now?' diagrams. Attempting to get away from a formal 'pdf' presentation, I sketched out the questions and stages of the diagram drawing onto paper beforehand, and held them up to the screen. I asked everyone to draw a square or circle and inside it to list groups of people, categories of people that they were seeing in real life, in 'physical space'. 

I was interested in what different or new groups of people were identified, in the lock-down. For instance I was not staying where I usually live and discovered that I was coming into contact with; next-door neighbours, people who walk past the house, the vet, the nurse at the GP, dog walker friends and dogs who were our dogs friends, delivery drivers, shop-keepers and the public we see on walks. This changed again when I went back to London.

We drew overlapping bubbles and listed those we connected with through 'virtual' connections, then 'phone calls', emails, social media, and letters.

The idea was to then circle in a different colour, those categories of people who you didn't know. Or who you saw as 'the public'. I was intrigued as to if it could be used to locate a new audience/ public for an artwork, project or workshop.

Practice diagram by my mum, Sue Edginton

Holding up my publics diagram to the screen

Reflection: We did the activity a bit too quickly, as it turned out it takes a long time to think through all of this, and I did not have time to get proper feedback afterwards. I showed a few slides about this idea of the physical public becoming much closer, smaller and local, and then the opposite happening with the virtual public where it really expands to include an international community. The publics or groups I was working working with or had contact with still, had really changed too. From working in schools and care homes with lots of people and children face-to-face, this has changed. Now I was just in touch with people via zoom calls or colleagues via the phone, and all the work with children and elders had been put on hold for now. Where were all the people and how were they right now, what were they doing? A lot of people I talked to who work in the community found themselves asking similar questions.

Museum of the Street by Louise Ashcroft and her local neighbourhood, Walthamstow, London, May 2020

[woah-were-halfway-there]

1-11 for y/n!!

Bye ok I’m excited about these, this is gonna be fun

1. How old are they?

Throughout the events of JWIN, she is 26! However, she turns 27 roughly a month before baby number two is born. She and Auston originally met when they were both 19 though, so they’ve come a very long way lol

2. How tall are they?

5′9

3. What’s their zodiac sign?

She do be a Taurus

4. What’s their favourite activity on a rainy day?

She’ll usually come up with things to do with Mia around the house or play around with her and Frank in the basement to burn off some steam. If Mia is napping she’ll just chill in the living room and relax as she listens to the rain and does work. Other times she and Auston will curl up on the couch together and just chill too. It honestly depends, but she loves the rain. She finds it very soothing

5. What’s their favourite colour?

She’s always been a fan of like dark and deep red’s 

6. What is/was their best subject in school? What was their favourite?

Omg y/n hated school. Like it was just never something she enjoyed at all, but she did like university much better than high school. She took a psychology elective one semester that she really liked, but her best subject has always been English. She was pretty good at Math too but DESPISED it 

7. What are their hobbies?

She really loves cooking and baking, yoga, sports in general (baseball has always been her sport though), reading, writing, one time she tried to crochet but gave up after a week

8. What’s their favourite dessert?

She could eat her weight in churros lol, she loves them. She also makes a mean apple pie that is a recipe she learned from her mom

9. A song they like? (or a band, or a type of music)

She’s very into classic and alternative rock as well as indie although she listens to pretty much everything. But The Lumineers, Coldplay, John Mayer, Kendrick Lamar, Red Hot Chili Peppers and Fleetwood Mac are some of her all-time faves

10. If they were a dog breed, which one would they be?

Auston’s told her she’d be a poodle before but never gave a reason why

11. What’s their biggest pet peeve?

Ignorance and carelessness 

character asks