Summer 2018 mixtape:
Viet Cong / Preoccupations “Disarray”
Lower Dens “Ondine”
Black Marble “A Great Design”
Hot Flash Heat Wave “Glo Ride”
Still Corners “The Photograph”
Odd Couple “What Kings Do”
Oldbills “Tablecloth”
System, The (UK) “Find It In Your Eyes”
Holydrug Couple, The “I’ll Only Say This”
Negative Gemini “Bad Baby”
Refreshers “How Bout U?”
Sam Smith “I’m Not The Only One”
Secret Circle “Tube Socks”
6lack “Prblms”
Spizzenergi “Soldier Soldier”
Basic Nature “Love Won’t Always Be There”
Camp Cope “Anna”
Dilly Dally “I Feel Free”
Eyedress f. Pyramid Vritra “1990”
Oldbills “Salsa Verde”
LaMont Johnson Aces
Uniform & The Body “In My Skin”
Water From Your Eyes “We’re Set Up”
Beat Detectives “Call It What You Want (Segment One)”
End Of A Year / Self Defense Family “Self-Immolation Family”
Lanark Artefax “Glasz”
No Age “You’re A Target”
Ice Age “Under The Sun”
Daughters “Satan In The Wait”
Nothing “Blue Line Baby”
Sean Price “STFU Pt. 2”
Tislatin Onzar 3=2+1
clipping. “Ends” (Xanopticon RMX)
Nothing “Zero Day”
Prison Religion “007”
Big Boss, The motion picture soundtrack “The Killing Fight”
Oldbills “Black Ice”
Cults “Gilded Lily”
Eyedress “High Street Drive”
Tanya Tagaq f. Shad “Centre”
Fall, The “Australians In Europe”
Pond “Sweep Me Off My Feet”
Uniform “The Walk”
BreakBeatBuddha “New Delhi Dank”
Ta-Ra “L’il Bit”
Xiu Xiu & Mitski “Between The Breaths”
Rolling Blackouts Coastal Fever “Time In Common”
Sweet Valley “Sentimental Trash”
Wati Heru X Kashaka “BKWYA”
All These Fingers “Puerta Vallarta”
Body Without Organs “Osiris Rises”
Cults “Talk In Circles”
Miss Red “One Shot Killer”
Underworld & Iggy Pop “Bells And Circles”
Alt-J “Story 4 Sleeplessly Embracing” (clipping. RMX)
Moor Mother “Washington Park”
Erick Arc Elliott “Breaking”
Rolling Blackouts Coastal Fever “An Air Conditioned Man”
Cansei De Ser Sexy “Girlfriend”
Choir Boy “Blood Moon”
Flastbush Zombies “The Results Are In”
Miss Red “Come Again”
Cold Cave New Morale Leadership
Prison Religion “Glass”
Diseno Corbusier “Ritmo 21”
Happy Meals / Free Love “Pushing Too Hard”
Jessica Rylan “Wishing Well”
Erick Arc Elliott “Fifteen Minutes”
Palm “Dog Milk”
Body, The “Sickly Heart Of Sand”
Oldbills “Weekendluv”
Ariana Grande “Into You”
Imagine Dragons “Thunder”
Moor Mother “Creation Myth”
Cellars “Real Good Day”
Addison Groove “Footcrab” (DJ Rashad & DJ Spinn RMX)
Charles Manson Lie
Water From Your Eyes “That’s The Girl”
Anti-Nowhere League “Snowman”
Bug, The f. Liz Harris “Black Wasp”
Eyedress f. Prefuse73 “Living Room”
Miss Red “Dagga”
Malcomb McLaren “Zulu’s On A Time Bomb”
Idles “Danny Nedelko”
Aube “Parametalizest Pt. II”
Menace Beach “Black Rainbow Sound”
Chvrches “Never Say Die”
Nine Inch Nails “The Background World”
Oh No “Banger”
Oneida “Whitey Fortress”
Ariana Grande “Moonlight”
Happy Meals / Free Love “July”
Curren$y f. The Game & Prodigy “The Type”
CASisDEAD “Leon Best”
Diseno Corbusier “Meta Metalic”
Malcomb McLaren “Soweto”
Nine Inch Nails Bad Witch
Jessica Rylan “Way Home”
Max G. Morton The Devil’s Music
Beat Detectives“ (Undiscernable) Repetition Heavy Traffic: New NYC Vibe 2”
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Plan to finish Whoa! Plus a bit of journaling about the block.
Note: my tag for journal posts is "bacchic dances"
CW: journaling part will explore a bit of my relationship to sex/intimacy and also the depression I am digging myself out of.
Background: Whoa! Is my garvez WIP where they explore Pony play and we learn that Penelope and Luke and Lisa have been having loving threesomes for a few months. Lisa also falls in love with Dio. Luke and Penelope make a breakthrough.
SOOOOOO I have not written in ages and I can trace it back to a specific moment. I read part of the story to someone and they reacted with "this makes me realise I was not very good at sex" (not verbatim).
I didn't realise it right away and it wasn't the person's fault but the result was the comment and my reaction to it made writing the WIP less fun. It didn't help that my family life and work life has been chaotic and that I have been fighting some real depression for the last few months.
One thing I have realised (or at least vocalized for the first time) is that sex is my "special topic". (This is surely not a huge surprise to my longtime readers/mutuals). I love learning about it, thinking about it, studying it -- yes I love the feelings of sex but that is in some ways secondary to it's special topic-ness -- and it's not always the easiest special topic to have...it being taboo and all in a lot of circles and that my own relationship to sex is confused and impacted by my ADHD and PMDD Symptoms.
(I know that is hardly unique - but it doesn't make it less true)
Anyways - if I am trying to do some healing - then finishing this wip (which I actually love) feels important.
I also am trying to not take on other people's wants, needs, and opinions quite so much and my fanfic writing is basically my one space where I really can work through my own thoughts, opinions and feelings on these topics that matter so so much to me. Also it is important to me to keep improving as a writer and fanfic has helped so much.
I really want to go back to giving myself this gift...but I am the only one who can do it...just like I'm the only one who can take it away.
So hence...a plan is needed...so what are my challenges right now?
I can't totally remember where I am at.
It's just shy of 20000 words and I am determined to write the end before posting.
Editing feels really challenging.
I can't decide if this is a really really long one shot or chapters (I think chapters and I am thinking I will post it section by section - 1 per day. With editing between.
I am nervous about my OC.
Ok so if that's the case...what do I have left to write?
Ok I just read where I am at and I think I have exactly two scenes left to write. Lisa and Dio deciding to skip the shower for Baby number 5 & calling Pen & Luke to advise them - and the call coming during a final scene between Pen and Luke.
So - if I wrote for 2 hours...I should at least have a shitty version. Then I could do a read through for it all hanging together. Then start posting / editing.
I think I can make 2 hours today to do this.
But if not...I can plan a schedule to finish it within 2 weeks.
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