#Why couldn't I have gotten gifted a sub during the Rust days???

[j10kkuno]

On Ash (again)

Hey-so there's stuff going on with Ash again. She's said some racist against Asian COVID related things and the R slur on Discord(This is all stuff from 2018-June 2020). I was going to make a post about it but quite frankly, I got five hours of sleep last night and I don't have the mental capacity nor do I feel like, as a white woman, do I feel like I should try to explain it. I'm going to link the Twitter thread.

She also just did a livestream giving her side of things. I couldn't watch it due to having a session with my therapist at the same time(And my therapist kept mentioning how tired I was) but Twitter made it sound like it was a lot of excuses but that the protests one was anti masker protests.

Like my last On Ash post, I'm going to do a read more for my thoughts.

I'm disappointed in Ash making the Chinese/Asian virus jokes. Like, thinking back to February of last year, on of my biggest worries was that I had a long standing crush on a former professor whose family lived in South Korea(We stayed friendly after our class ended well over a year before then, I saw him on school breaks, long story but we still plan to see each other once it's safe) and since SK was one of the first places hit outside China, was his family okay? Were his in-laws? And Asian people around the globe were facing racism which was so beyond frustrating but I don't wanna dig up bad memories and possibly triggers for people and obviously, at the time, my heart focused on the guy I adored and his family.

And she was joking about bat virus soup and encouraging people saying "corona boy." I get that bats don't look appetizing and I agree entirely but that's when you don't say anything and respect people's culture. I think we've all done it. Especially at a sensitive time like that, you don't joke about that. I'm thinking back to me at that time and imagining someone joking about COVID and it seems crazy. I mean, I was naïve(Edited, the original word was ignorant but that has a negative connotation while I think very few of us had any idea how badly COVID was going to be in the west back in February) and wasn't seriously thinking it was going to hit the US as badly as it did but between Prof C and Kpop, I was thinking and worrying about it to some degree on a daily basis compared to a lot of Americans while she was joking about it and it's just... Have some tact, I think???

(I'm also hesitant to judge the first screenshot because out of context, for all I know she literally had Chinese food and then it didn't sit right in her stomach, like in a food poisoning way and I wouldn't put it past Twitter to twist things against Ash but that's just me).

I won't address the protest thing without seeing her explanation. Her police comment was... Naïve, is how I took it personally. The R slur was completely out of line, and there's no defending it.

However, like last time, as long as Corpse, Sykkuno, and friends keep supporting her, I'll keep supporting her. I'm horrible for that, I think, but that's the truth. I'm going to keep her off this blog for a bit I think, other than maybe a Corpse and Ash post I wanted to make while watching the VOD. Otherwise, I'm going to keep Ash to a very low minimum.

But no, I'm disappointed. I really am. I'm just exhausted and I feel like I don't have the right words to express it. I know my response is probably lukewarm and very white but this is where I'm at. Now I'm just going to go and wait for Uno.