#Witch absolutely knows what she's doing when she looks at Price like that

[m0nsterqzzz]

Something Stupid

pairing: Wanda Maximoff x reader

summary: and then she goes and spoils it all by saying something stupid like...."I love you."

content: absolute teeth rotting fluff. pining for each other but wandas is much more intense? tiniest bit of blackhill if you squint.

a/n: had this idea for a while, and I actually kinda like it??? idk. first time for everything. reader is referred to as "sweets" like twice just because I love the nickname. it's what my boyfriend calls me. anyway. love yall!!

-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Wanda Maximoff loves you.

She’s known that for years.

She’s known it since she first became an avenger and felt a strange urge to gain your forgiveness over everyone else's after what her and her late-brother Pietro did during the battle against Ultron.

She knew it when you became her best friend, teaching her how to control her magic and really just how to enjoy life.

She knew it when she had to watch as you got ready for dates with people that would never live up to your standards. Not she thought she would live up to your standards- no, she knew she couldn't- but she did know she treat you better then any of those no good pigs who are just looking for a fuck buddy ever good. The witch wouldn’t go up against your suitors though, just standing on the sidelines as her heart slowly breaks faster and faster the more you don’t see her in the same light you do them.

Little she did she know, she was the only one you truly wanted.

So finally, Wanda worked up the courage to ask you out so she no longer had to cry into her pillow while you were out sucking face with someone else.

Surprisingly, you agreed easily. The only thing you had to say was that she had to promise it wouldn’t change anything between you guys for the worse. If it didn’t work, you guys couldn’t become like Natasha and Maria. (those girls can’t be in the same room as each other for more than 2 seconds without making a backhanded comment about their four week long situationship)

The Maximoff girl agreed, eagerly setting up a dinner date.

It had quickly gone wrong.

The reservation was somehow not in the book despite the fact that Wanda called the fancy dinner place with insane prices about six times in the hour-long drive there. So you told her it was fine, that you’d be happy with some food from the delicious Thai place down the road as long as you were with her. But they were out of your favorite and Wanda ate so much that she felt ready to barf as you guys walked out of the restaurant- that was before she actually did barf in the parking lot. 

Finally, you guys headed to a bar near the Avengers tower for a quick nightcap, but that quickly turned into you both downing two drinks each before stumbling onto the dance floor.

A sweet looking old man who’s been reading a comic book in the corner sees you two and decides to put his own change in the jukebox and press play on a slow, but peaceful song. He sends you guys a smile, winking Wanda's way before he continues to read about some cool looking superheroes.

Wanda’s hands fall to your waist, gently gripping them as you both sway. Your head falls to lay on her shoulder, arms wrapped around the back of her neck as the music fills your ears. Her breath is on the back of your neck, warm, but it doesn’t even begin to compare to the feeling of her lips as she places a gentle kiss in that same spot. 

Then she goes and spoils it all by saying something stupid like, “I love you, sweets.”

You roll your eyes, thinking back to how many times people have told you that during first dates just to get in your pants. Though you will admit that when you hear Wanda say it, it brings a small, warm, fluttering feeling to your chest, and you manage to let out a small giggle before you say, “No you don't. You don’t love me Wanda. You like me. There’s a difference.”

She fights the urge to tell you that she knows there is a difference between love and like. She knows that because she’s felt both those ways towards you. Why can’t you just understand that so she doesn’t have to find a way to put it into words?

-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

After a few days of her saying the same thing and you never believing her, the witch realizes she has to put it in words. Nothing else is capable of explaining how she feels about you. How she’s felt for so long.

So she recruits Natasha and Clint for help, and they spend the day working on some speeches. By 2pm, she has this;

“Are you from Tennessee? Cuz you’re the only ten-I-see.” - A line from Natasha which she used on Maria who was passing by at that moment just to prove to Wanda it works. (Natasha left and was found leaving the agents room an hour later. Apparently that’s back on)

“I love you.” - Clint Barton, the stupidest man on earth. There is a reason people call him bird brain. They were there because the three words are not enough to describe what she feels towards you. Did he even read what was on the brunch invitation? It clearly stated; “fixing Wanda's love life; no I love you’s, no magic town in which she controls so she can make Sweets fall in love with her against their will.”

“Hey, do you have wifi? Cuz I’m really feeling a connection.” - Natasha. She once again used it on Maria and was gone for another two hours. Can someone please address this?

“Start listing facts about the baby turtles you saved. Always gets the ladies.” - from Tony, who was walking by the living room and decided now was the best time to interrupt. He has never once gotten close enough to endangered animals to be able to ‘save’ them, but we can pretend if he wants too.

“Are you a beaver? Cuz dam.” - Natasha. (someone needs to restrain Maria from jumping the redheads bones. She is literally needed at this meeting.)

So, as we can see, no one is any help. 

She decides after that to just go with her gut, and her gut is telling her that you’ll know when the time is right, and hopefully will send her a sign.

Maybe the sign is sooner rather than later.

The witch spends about an hour in her bedroom in front of her mirror, trying on every outfit from sweats and a t-shirt to the 10,000 dollar dress Tony bought her for her birthday. Which clothes would draw your attention to her? She thinks about that alot, which is why she wears different outfits everyday simply in hopes of you sending her a small compliment. She always spends countless amounts of time planning the perfect outfit just to hear you say, “You look pretty Wans.”

Why is this happening to her?

It’s when she sets up a cute little picnic under the stars with all your favorite foods and snacks and a makeshift tv screen with a projector to watch your favorite film do you realize that you are deeply and utterly in love with Wanda Maximoff.

She’s sweet, and pretty. She can always make you laugh when you truly think you no longer can.

And besides all that, she’s your best friend. The one that will stick with you through thick and thin simply because she wants to be beside you.

You can’t help but feel your cheeks beginning to heat up every single time she even glances in your direction, let alone actually speak to you. You can feel your stomach flutter with a mix of excitement and nerves as she just… exists.

You don’t tell her that though, afraid of getting your feelings hurt.

You just sit down on the nice thick blanket with her, grabbing some grapes to give a few to her and a few to herself as she presses play on the movie. It’s silent other than the sound of the movie, but she can hear your thoughts louder than any film. It’s not like she’s trying to read your mind. The witch vowed to herself to never use her magic on you unless it was necessary or life saving. That includes mind reading. Your thoughts are too loud though, and even with the amount of control she has over her powers, they still fill her head as she tries to focus on the movie.

“I love her.”

“She says she loves you.”

“She doesn’t mean it.”

“Yes she does.”

“No she doesn’t.”

“It doesn’t matter. I love her.”

Your internal battle on if she truly does love you or not breaks her heart into a million pieces, though she doesn’t want to call you out on it and make you feel uncomfortable. So you guys continue silently watching the movie. She doesn’t mention your loud thoughts, and you don’t mention that you can feel her eyes burning into the side of your face as she stares.

When the movie is over and the projector turns off, you guys sit in the darkness of the night. There are stars dressing the night sky, so you silently look at them as Wanda turns on her side so she can gently pull you closer to her. 

The moment is perfect; looking up at the stars in each other's warm embrace, your back pressed against her front and she moves around until she snuggles her head into the crook of your neck, so close to you that your perfume fills her senses and puts her into a peaceful bliss. Your truly happy as is she, and this time, as she says the tree words, you find yourself believing her;

“I love you.”

She doesn’t regret it or cringe out of embarrassment when she says it like she did last time. The witch just lets the words hang in the air. If you choose to say them back, you do. If not, at least you'll understand how much she truly means it.

“I love you.” You whisper back with new found confidence, and her chest fills with warmth and pure happiness. You finally believe her. Her words sounded so sincere and simple, not like the drunk words she said a few days ago. It’s the only reason you feel okay telling her the truth. You love Wanda Maximoff.

“I love you.” She mumbles, leaving a chaste kiss on your cheek.

“I love you.”

“I love you.”

“I love you.”

-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

[lilywastaken]

now hear me out: witch hunter!ghost x witch!reader...

he's visiting a town with the rest of his team to investigate a claim that there might be witches running rampant around the small countryside village, only to fall victim to a resident's charm while they conduct interviews.

she's a sweet woman who insists on curing the scratches that he's gathered across their travels, using tonics and herbs from her cute little garden and letting him pet her pet cat, who seems to have taken liking to the dark and imposing man, rubbing it's little black body against his boots and purring when he leans down to scratch under its chin.

it doesn't even clock in his mind how every single detail about you and your life correlates exactly with the obvious signs of a witch, but he's too spellbound with you to even realise.

he informs the others that none of the people he's talked to seem to have made the infamous deal with the devil, but due to the panicked way the leader of the community had written to them, they decide to stay to investigate further, staying in the small inn near the outskirts of town and luckily for simon, near your cottage.

despite the clear liking he's taken to you, he's still as emotionless and snarky as he would be with anyone else, and his chest tightens every time you laugh or giggle out loud at one of his dark jokes, most unladylike for any other woman, but you don't seem to care to hide your snorts or amusement around him, something he completely adores.

he insists on helping you with your garden, claiming you have no need to get your hands dirty when he's used to doing dirty work (both taking lives and tending to his own garden back home), sitting at your kitchen and watching you make the tonics and medicine you help treating anyone who has fallen ill in the village, standing close by whenever someone comes in with an injury, absolutely in awe at how they're cured almost immediately, thanking you gratefully before leaving. although, he does not miss the dirty glares some of your neighbours send you when they think you're not watching, making him grow confused, not understanding why they would harbour such feelings towards someone as kind and helpful as you.

it's not until he's taking a break at the pub, listening to gaz drawl on about some thing or another, when he catches wind of two women's conversation, frowning beneath the leather mask he wears in distaste has he takes in their poisioned words.

"-making moves on my poor husband. i swear, she's put some type of spell on him, that vile witch."

"oh, i know! my brother told her off last monday and guess what!? the next day, he fell off the roof and broke his leg! bloody bitch probably cursed him!"

"gosh, i cannot wait until those hunters finally get her! i have no idea how she's managed to evade their suspicions, she's done nothing to hide herself!"

"well, by the way that masked man has been loitering around her home, we'll be lucky to have a burning at the end of the week!"

they both laugh, the high pitch shrieks that they let out enough to make the glass in simon's hand shatter, shoving his seat back and leaving a dumfounded gaz in the pub alone as he walked away.

the splintering wooden door slams open as he shoves himself into your cottage, dark eyes landing on your crouched figure and then the second one, body freezing as he makes eye contact with his captain.

"simon." the man grunts, alerting you of your favourite visitor's presence as you pull back from the wound on his leg you were treating, a sweet smile on your lips.

"simon!" you repeat, cleaning your hands with the bucket of water next to you, wiping away the dried blood in the rags as price sends a warning look to his subordinate, the blond furrowing his brows in confusion, before the conversation he'd overheard before came to mind.

no.

no, price didn't know.

and, god, no, you weren't one of them.

you... no. no.

"let's get going. thank you for the help, miss." his whole body went into autopilot as price pushes him out of the cottage, the short wave and caring smile you sent his way the last thing he saw before the door was slammed shut.

neither of the men spoke on their trek back to the inn, and simon did not sleep a wink that night, terrified of what would happen in the coming days.

surprisingly, there was nothing. no finding of stakes, no gathering of firewood, no detainment of you.

so maybe, price hadn't picked up on you. even though simon was still convinced you were not one of those.

until after a few days of pouring rain, simon wakes up to a cold room and the absence of johnny, who he knows for a fact that never woke up before him unless forced to, something he'd learned after years of sharing the same room with the scot.

and as he walks out into the muddy roads, that oh-so familiar smell hits his nose.

the burning of wood, of grass, of cloth, of human.

his heart dropped into his stomach, following the trail of ashes that had blown across the roads until he arrives at the town square, the burning piece of wood in Gaz's hand along with the flames consuming the hay and grass that lay across the ground of the plaza, the fire slowly consuming your beautiful white dress he'd seen you sew barely days ago.

simon barely takes notice of price coming towards him, attempting to hold him back from rushing into the crowd simply staring up at you, your eyes falling down upon his struggling body, your face going from the calm expression it had been in to shock, pulling at your tied up wrists instinctively in a frail attempt to rush towards him.

"simon...!" you breathe out, soot entering your lungs as you inhale, tears filling your eyes from the burn as you watch him wrestle out of his captain's grip, his boots stomping against the rocky ground as he shoved past the gawkers, leather slamming against the kindle, ignoring his team's shouts and the fire burning his clothes and skin, reaching the stake you were tied to, his face out in the open due to the way he'd rushed out of his room, dark eyes reflecting the flames that were taking you both.

his shaky hands come behind you to untie the ropes around your arms, caging you with his body and allowing you to rest your head against his shoulder, tears streaming down your cheeks as you look down at the burns forming across his legs.

"stop." you pleade, trying to push him away with your chest. "stop, simon, stop...!"

"shut up!" he snaps, throwing the ropes into the fire as they came undone, letting you collapse into his arms as you were let free, your hands gripping his dress shirt. "you're going to be okay, we need to-"

his voice broke as he looks down at your sunken eyes, your lips dry and cracked as if you'd just ran a marathon, but looking down at your intact legs and burning dress, he realises where all your energy had gone.

"simon.."

no.

"please, stop-"

no. you....

"you're going to die, simon, please!"

you couldn't be...

"i won't be able to save you, simon, listen to me!"

you were wailing at this point, trying to push his body down the small burning hill, but his body doesn't budge.

"simon!" his captain's grating voice pulls him out of his stupor, his hands growing tighter around your waist as he locks gazes with the furious looking man, your wails becoming static in his ears as he doesn't think twice as his now blistering hands pulled your legs up, letting you grasp onto his neck instinctively as he holds you bridal style, ignoring the searing pain rushing through his body.

"simon, don't, don't you dare!" you scream, the first time he's heard you raise your voice at him. "please, i'm not worth saving, you know what i am! i don't deserve to live!"

liar. you... you were worth everything.

you were worth the burns on his body, the destruction of his ideals and the pain the mere sight of you in tears gave him.

he doesn't care what you are.

you're... a witch. what he swore to destroy and what he has been hunting for over a decade.

but you're not... you're... not evil.

maybe none of them were, maybe if he'd taken the time to get to know the women they'd burnt before he'd have realised sooner, that you were just people.

and he wasn't going to let you get hurt. maybe it was a bit selfish or ironic, but he didn't care. he'd take you away from this town, from his colleagues, from the pain, let you live in peace somewhere were no one would bother you.

and if you let him, he'd come with you too.

he ignores price's shouts about the so called spell you'd put on him and as he looks down at your shivering body in his arms, the way you're curling into him, the way you were wailing for him to save himself moments ago, he couldn't...

even if you had put some type of spell on him, he didn't care. never had he felt like this. and yes, he'd deal with the consequences of this later, but for now, as he runs through the forest with your trembling body in his arms, he couldn't care less.

he isn't going to let anyone hurt you any more than they have.

(brainrot for this idea is open please 🗣️)

[reborrowing]

curses and confession, part 1 (Stranger Swap)

okayyy this has gotten past 6k and I really want to post so I'm just gonna slice it up since my chapters are usually ~2k anyways!

next | Stranger Swap masterpost Hollow deals with a witch after having an unprecedented close call while checking in on his sibling (probably read that first if you havent!) word count: ~1.8k contains: angst, fear, survivor’s guilt, self-loathing

Hollow

The property behind Glenwood Court apartments had an old, dilapidated shed that the owner mostly used for storage, when they remembered it exists at all. Amid all their junk and forgotten landscaping tools lived an unusual little man named Ely, though most who knew of him referred to him as the garden witch. 

He was a borrower by most metrics: small, secretive, and prone to hoarding any trinkets left unattended. He had a tail and the same sharp hearing you would expect a borrower to have. But he was also quite visibly something Other. Ostentatious, absolutely out of line with a borrower's instinctual pull towards the shadows. He had a love of light and glitter that accentuated the pair of iridescent wings that hung limply down his back. And the tallest borrower he’d ever met had still only been at eye level with his chest.

Most borrowers were afraid of him. Of course they were, they were such a naturally skittish people. But they had good reason to come visit him anyways. Ely was a miracle worker. Something out of a children’s story. A magician. A witch.

He had clients come from all over the neighborhood, maybe even further corners of the city, because he made trades no one else could. The last of your rice for a cloak you lost a decade ago. A secret for a pinch of luck exactly when you needed it most. Give up a warm enough memory and never go cold again. Odd trades for small impossibilities. The prices didn’t always make sense up front, but they always worked out in the end. He didn’t give out anything for free, Hollow had seen that much. 

She watched with a fascinated sort of disgust as the witch molded a stranger’s words into physical paste with a practiced hand. The stranger walked off with a handful of dust and a smile they tried to swallow when they noticed someone was looking.

The witch called Hollow forward. She swallowed nervously and took a seat on a hackysack across from the small giant. The shed was silent for a few seconds as Hollow tried to remember what it was she had planned on saying. 

“You’ve been here before, haven’t you?” the witch said through a thoughtful expression

“Ah, yeah. I–a couple times,” she said. Chai had dragged him here for a sleep aid during the pregnancy, and again shortly after Sunny was born for a sleep alternative.

“I almost don’t recognize you without the piebald. Are they alright?”

“Xe’s fine, I’m not here for…xe doesn’t know I’m here,” Hollow said.

The witch raised a brow as his lips bent into an impish smirk. Hollow tensed as she leaned forward like some housewife gathering gossip. 

“Making trouble, are we? Or are we planning a surprise? I promise I’m quite good at either, for the right price,” he said.

“It’s nothing to do with xem, I just had some questions. About magic. Just questions, I don’t need you to cast…it’s about something I saw happen to someone else. Um, my sibling. Val? I wanted to know, how…did you trade with them?”

The witch drummed his fingers contemplatively against his work table in a quick rhythm, then shook his head. He didn’t remember anyone by that name.

Hollow bit her lip as he worried about where else magic might come from, but he wasn’t entirely surprised. The shed was next door and Val had never exactly been the adventurous sort. Not that Hollow knew about, anyway. She could hardly imagine them climbing through the fence. Although lately, every time she tried to imagine much of anything about her sibling, she fell back into nightmares about Val’s hands punching through the colony walls and burying her in rubble or…or worse. 

“Then, do you know where else they could’ve found magic? Or, however you say that. Bargained for it,” Hollow said.

“Other magic? There’s plenty, if you know how to look. I can’t say I know of many others in the area with my level of expertise, but I can ask around. What is it you think you saw?”

“I know what I saw, I’m not stupid.” Hollow said tersely. She glanced around to be sure there was no one who might overhear. “They were huge. Human.”

“Human,” the witch echoed doubtfully. Several seconds passed as the witch considered Hollow’s claim. 

“You saw this? Were they…solid, do you know? Real?”

“They threw me across the cupboard, so yeah, I’d say they were real,” Hollow scoffed.

“How curious.”

The witch smiled and golden wire bangles clattered down his wrist as he abruptly stood up to jump up onto the next shelf. His wings flared for a second, catching the candlelight, even though the jump onto the bracket was low enough that Hollow could’ve easily cleared it. She fidgeted with the frayed edge of his sleeve, not sure if she was supposed to follow. She didn’t really want to see the witch’s full collection of eccentricities.

There was a cluster of thumps overhead as Ely fumbled with whatever it was he was doing. It sounded like a bag full of pebbles, or maybe marbles. Some nonsense. Hollow hated believing in this shit, that someone could just break reality by waving their hands just wrong. There was enough to fear in the world without worrying about finding magic lurking in the shadows beside her.

The witch came back down a minute later, holding a book of scrap paper with messy stitches for binding. It was about half as tall as Hollow was, large enough to be awkward in even the witch’s hands. He sat on the floor and flipped through it, too fast for Hollow to try reading along, though she noticed there were a lot of symbols that weren't a part the alphabet she did know. A minute passed and Ely hmmed and shook his head, evidently there was nothing useful there for him either. 

“Did your sibling say anything about what had happened?”

Hollow fidgeted with her climbing floss. She felt the witch staring at him even without looking up. 

“I didn’t ask. We…didn’t talk. I just ran when they saw me. And then they…that was when they threw me. I wasn’t there long,” she said.

“When was this, anyway? You went and saw your sibling without speaking to them?” 

Hollow hadn’t spoken with Val since she had abandoned them—10 years, give or take. Even when Ritos had shown up with Val limping along behind him, Hollow had only been able to stare. They were a ghost back then and a monster now. What was she supposed to say?

Sorry I left you with her, but I was sure she was going to kill me. Sorry I didn’t come back, but I figured you’d be dead. I’m sorry I didn’t do more for you.

Please don’t hurt me. I’m sorry.

“I came here for answers, not to be questioned,” she said stiffly.

“Patience, dear. I don’t know any magic like what you’ve described, and wouldn’t it be nice if I didn’t waste time finding you answers you don’t even want?”

“What does it matter whether or not I talked to them?”

The witch took a seat beside her as if they were two close friends instead of near strangers. Hollow flinched as one of Ely’s long fingers tilted her chin so the two were making eye contact. Unnatural. Everything about this man was unnatural.

“What does it matter? If you’re not on speaking terms with your sibling, what does it matter what magics they play with in their free time? Why are the answers so important that you’ll come out and deal with me?”

“It’s dangerous. Them, I mean, or…if they’re h—if they can pass themself off as human like that, they could come after the colony just like any real human. I don’t need to explain why that’s a problem, do I?”

“Fear? Then why waste time coming to me for answers? Your council has its ways to deal with threats, doesn’t it? Even humans,” Ely said. 

“I don’t know if I want them…dealt with. I don’t know where they’d even go or…”

“So what do you want from me?” the witch asked.

“Answers. I want to know what’s going on,” Hollow said stubbornly. 

“Yes, and I don’t have your answers on hand. How I go about finding them depends on why you want them. It will be a lot more work if you’re looking to imitate whatever spell they’ve used.”

Hollow’s face flushed—she’d thought about it. She assumed everyone imagined being human now and then, even if they didn’t talk about it. Who wouldn’t want to know what the world really looked like from human eyes? And Hollow had a list of giants she’d love to confront face-to-face if given the chance: that girl, the leafblower asshole, the gardener, the dog owner across the street, the miniature maker…but it was a daydream. If this sort of thing was real, then dreaming about that sort of violence could invite it. She didn’t really want to fight every other giant that had ever inconvenienced her, even if she could do it without getting hurt. Aggression was their game. 

“I just want to know what happened.”

Ely tilted his head. He looked unsatisfied, like a cat whose prey managed to get out of reach. Hollow looked back down at her lap and took a breath. She didn’t talk about this. She tried not to think about it. There was no good to come of it, just crushed feelings and guilt.

“And…I, yeah, I worry about Val, too. I’m afraid of what they might have gotten themself into. I want to know if they’re…okay. It’s hardly a sin that I care about my sibling, is it?”

It felt like a sin. How dare she? After everything she had failed to do, how dare she claim to care? She’d abandoned them to a horrible fate and then lied about it so no one would find out what she’d done.

“Maybe this was a mistake,” Hollow muttered. 

Ely rubbed her back and for a split second, Hollow felt like a child getting pulled into her mother’s lap after a bad day. And then the overlarge borrower inhaled deeply, almost dreamily, and Hollow pulled away.

“I do love a good confession,” Ely sighed, “Even when the truth is so...plain. You’d likely be better going back and talking to Val yourself, but I’ll see what I can find out, without harming your sibling. Is this agreeable?”

“What do you want from me in exchange?”

Ely smiled, toothy as any predator. Hollow stood up to put at least a few centimeters of distance between them. 

“Don’t worry about payment. I enjoy an excuse to research with my kin and…this has been even more pleasant. I should have some sort of answer for you after the full moon, but you’re welcome to return any time if you need anything else.”

Hollow shook the witch’s hand to seal the deal, then hurried off the shelf. She didn’t want to spend a second more than necessary in that wretched shed.

~

taglist: @da3dm @whumpsday

[sukunastits]

Weaponized Incompetence -

Weaponized Incompetence 1/? 

John ‘Soap’ MacTavish x reader, fem pronouns 

Warnings: none, sfw.

MacTavish was, without a doubt, one of the most patient and kind Sergeants you had ran across in the SAS, made even odder by the fact that he was a Sergeant in one of the most elite Task Forces in British military history. But he was. He was firm and encouraging, always willing to answer (reasonably) stupid questions, and the least likely between himself and Sergeant Garrick to absolutely lose his shit. 

Admittedly, Sgt. Garrick had been pushed to the metaphorical edge by a very, very stupid troop who just didn’t know when to quit. He probably would have handled it better, if it hadn’t been the first week of evaluation. You couldn’t really hold it against the Sergeant. 

Six months later, and Sgt. MacTavish had kept a distressingly cool head. You weren’t fond of it; it left a lot of questions. Where was the line? How would he react when it was crossed? How did he handle anger - was he a shouter? Mr. Cold Shoulder? You had seen Sgt. Garrick at his limit; a shouter. Captain Price was authoritarian to his core; disappointed, and willing to hand out fitting punishment to ensure it didn’t happen again. Ghost, terrifyingly, appeared to be a cold shoulder kind of guy; the kind of petty, what are you talking about, I’ve never heard of Trooper Johnson a day in my life while maintaining eye contact with said never existed Trooper.  

Initially, it hadn’t bothered you. But the longer it went on, the more you wondered. And obviously you couldn’t do anything serious to trigger him. You weren’t about to risk your tenuous place on the 141, even as a tertiary member. Which left your favorite method - playing as stupid as humanly possible. 

Never about anything work related. You had fought tooth and nail for the respect you earned as one of maybe 20 female front line soldiers. No, you had to act stupid about the stupid things.

You started small. Spotting the mohawked sergeant in line at the cafeteria, sliding your way behind him with a beatific smile at Troop Russell, who let you into line with a resigned air. Carefully brushing your shoulder against the sergeant, welcoming his easy greeting like a witch letting children into her gingerbread house. 

“You know,” you started, in a way that anyone who shared a barracks with you knew was a bad sign. “I’ve never figured out why people think chickens lay eggs.” 

Smiling vacantly to hide the incandescent joy of shit-stirring, you watched as the sergeant stuttered, brows closing together in confusion. You could practically see the thoughts growing in that pretty little head; is she being serious? Is this a joke? 

No joke, you thought giddily, still maintaining a deviously blank poker face. Go on, you know you wanna. 

“What are ye talkin’ ‘bout?” 

“Eggs,” you answered, slow enough to cast a questionable tone. Like you couldn’t understand why he would be confused. “They come from cows.” By this point, the line had stalled, Sergeant MacTavish bewildered enough to cease multi-tasking. You couldn’t blame him. Walking single file while cafeteria staff handed you food was probably a difficult task when dealing with yourself. You wouldn’t know - you were everyone else’s problem, never your own. 

Pointedly, you looked at the lone, hard boiled egg resting on his plate, and then past his shoulder to the stretch of no man’s land between him and the person in front of him. At least a meter of space. He jolted into action, the hiss of his plastic tray frissioning against the metal ledge covered by his pretty, deep baritone. “Eggs are poultry, lass. They do come from chickens.”

“See, everyone thinks that,” you shook your head. From the corner of your eye, you can see Troop Russell, chin tucked to his chest. Troop Russell has never won a game of poker in his life. You’ve never played poker with him, but you know this for a fact as well as you know that chickens do, obviously, lay eggs. “But they’re wrong. They come from cows; its why they have a second stomach. Its how they regurgitate eggs.” 

They key to saying this kind of off the wall shit, you’ve learned, is to never give anyone time for a reasonable retort. It’s why you decided to corner him in the lunch line, a bunch of military ducks in a row that clears out relatively fast. Content with the microwaved chicken sandwich dressed up with a single leaf of lettuce, fruit cup, singular rolling egg, and squat baby water bottle on your tray, you decide it’s time to make your escape.  

“C’mon, think about it sergeant - if eggs come from chickens, why are they in the dairy aisle? With all the dairy?” And there it is, quick but beautifully vindicating; a flash of what the absolute fuck across his adorably disgusted little face. Not yet fed up with your shit, but certainly in disbelief of it. 

“Anyways, have a nice lunch, Sergeant,” you grin, practically floating to your usual table. Moments after you settle onto the bench, Troop Russell is sliding in next to you. “This is going to end horribly,” he points out. 

“But hilariously,” you counteract. “Don’t ruin this for me.” Deciding to start with your victory egg - the catalyst of your nonsense - you make eye contact with Sergeant MacTavish as you bite into it. Three rows away and seated diagonal from your own table, he’s ignoring the seemingly content ramblings of Sergeant Garrick to squint at you. Confused. But, like those dumb ass kids who saw a gingerbread house in the middle of haunted woods, you knew he wouldn’t walk away. Oh no. Too baffled by the incongruousness, he would walk right in. 

Blame it on daddy issues, or problems with authority, but you refused to work with a man without knowing what he was like madder than a bull. And something about easy, pretty Sergeant MacTavish told you whatever outcome? It would be fun. 

anywho, I have no idea & am screaming into the void 🥴

[romsabombs]

GUYS the new malevolent is insane so i just thought i'd drop my notes in here✍️ ENJOY it's a lot

freaky ahh cavern

😦😦😦

SHUT UP!!!!!!!!

the man is bathed in darkness👹 john thats racist

mf literally been crucified this is so arthurs religious trauma

that is not what bones sound like i think

shes so me awful posture

me at 4am in the kitchen looking for a snack

WAIT oh yuck :/

HAHA THEY'RE IN HIS NOSTRILS

PRINCE MENTIONED

car accident thats so season 1

this is kind of like a hat in time maybe

omgg a witch :3

arthur survives the wildest shit but i think a mcdonalds sprite would kill him

AAAHHH WHAT THE FUCK!!!!😨😨 YUCK YUCK EW EW RAAAHHH

WHAAAAAT

cant we only do allat to corpses

omg spit it out john

YEAAHHHH HES DEAD

🤭🤭🤭YIPPEE I KNEW IT

omggg thats so janey :33

hes bein puppeted by the maggots thats crazy

STOP TELLING HIM TO KILL THINGS HAHA

omgg kaynes dagger <33

how can this mf be helpful

this is so tmp a bit

rotten flesh mentioned minecraft ref

HAHA WHAAT THATS SO GROSS

the maggots be like i have your fucking eyes👹👹👹👹

OMG WHAT THE HELL zombie arc

claustrophobia again

imagine harlan recording this

omg that's so sexy 🔥🔥 decapitated his ass

HAHA WE'RE ONLY 11 MINUTES IN??

LMAO john stop saying things

YES JOHN it WOULD have been helpful to know this guy didnt have any eyes

"this isnt new york anymore" thank god amiright

his head between our legs🤨

its so funny how he calls it a pinky. didnt someone on tumblr say john wouldnt know finger names

im surprised arthur still has a shirt

the flesh feels stiff😟

this guy is still alive😦 or. dead. i guess

arthur is like weirdly normal about this guy being a zombie. i know hes seen shit (no he hasnt) but come on

faroes song ☹️

YEAHH PUT IT IN YOUR MOUTHH💪

oh what😐 the prince🙄

what did he sayy

oh gross come on guys😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨 at this point just put it in your own mouth

"id like to think this is the most insane thing we've ever done" 💀

teehee they dont wanna seperate :3

YEAH! AND FAROE

"everyone we've ever loved" weak. also john doesnt care about anyone but you

"we cant afford to not use every resource anymore" HAHA this is so funny because didnt you throw away everything youve ever owned last episode

yippee welcome back vanguard :3

nothing😟 WAIT YIPPEE :3

WELCOME BACK VANGUARD‼️☝️

omg names mentioned

wait. yorick? llorick? thats the thing arthur said

its not lorick that was the guy from the dreamlands

WOAH WAIT WOAH HUH

hey what the fuck did that mean😀

omg what. rumpelstiltskin

HAHA hes so loser

OMG wait they said stanzyck right

ofcourse anna is dead bruh we were never gonna meet her

arthur and john both being "kings"😟

this tooth is so silly🥰

everyones walking over arthur today💀

they're so miscommunication <3

hey😀 hey whats that sound

DONT SAY IT ugh the prince

"ahh yes :3"

OH😨😨😨😨 A WHAT

SHUT UP🗣️👹 HAHA THATS SO SILLY

this guy is so kayne. and a bit autistic

wait r we just carrying around this skull

bro arthur sounds so tired

ooo this would go hard as a cosplay

i cant believe he has a belt

EUGH YUCK😦

ooo the black stone perchance?

ok i guess not

omg god forbid a girl has hobbies🙄

"im not saying its not risky. what im saying is, it might be worth the risk" that line goes hard

arthur agreeing to this is like a dad saying "okay fine we'll go to mcdonalds🙄"

no reward without risk✊💥

"we're in the lion's den already" "it is a hag's womb👹" HEHEHE

HAHA SILLIES HEHEHEEHE🤭🥰

oooohh johnn 😶‍🌫️

OH 😦 ohhh 😀 u have his memories

clever girl

"thanks yorick😐" "you too my king🤗" "shut up🙄👹"

yorick is so me absolutely no sense of social cues

ofcourse we'd encounter a witch here it was so obvious

"try to keep straight" pff

did john say im serving

hey yeah maybe dont go towards the light😀

LMAO LOOK AROUND? foul

when is the jumpscare happening

i have no idea what he's saying

"too much to make out" MAKE OUT?🤭

LMAO he doesnt know

pregnant meat☹️⁉️

hey i thought asking the vanguard questions would have a price🤨😀

imagine if he just crushed that zombies skull like its a good thing we just decapitated him

hes literally describing my room

you're my eyes☹️

they're acting as if the lighter would give us much light

omgg shes a little interior decorator

tapestry lore!!💪

five minutes left whats gonna happen

wuh ohhh somethings gonna happen

THE STAIRS ARE GONE!!!😬

ur literally in her home leave her alone

his ass is panicking

this is so part 18 the madness

we're trapped :( :(

"ingenious decision king🤓" "SHUT UP👹"

SPRINT!!!!!! 🏃🏃🏃🏃

OH???? 😦😦😦😦 WHAT

IMPALED???M???MNFJREJSJ HUHH

--

omggg he got marcy'd

i saw fanart of this but i lowkey couldnt tell if it was a spoiler or not💀

hot take but if he got bitten by that zombie he could prolly survive this

HUHHH bro this is like part 27 the roots. he was less dramatic about it this time tho

bro yorick finally shut up💀

sooo where did he get impaled. like if in the heart hes cooked😬

[witchthewriter]

𝑴𝒆𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒔 𝒐𝒇 𝑫𝒆𝒔𝒊𝒓𝒆

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐎𝐍𝐄.

Paid story for @yourwinchesterbros.  Word Count: 1k Warnings: mentions of dead bodies, drugs...usual sons of anarchy malarchy - you know the drill

ᴹᵃˢᵗᵉʳˡᶤˢᵗ      

The night wasn’t supposed to go like this. Sure, you’d seen some stuff throughout your job working with Skeeter, and therefore the Sons, but this … this really took the cake.

  “How the fuck am I meant to burn all this within the next two hours?” You snapped, looking at the blond-haired Prince of Charming.

See, most people wouldn’t get away with talking to him like that. Especially after the death of his wife, but what he was asking for was delusion at best.

 Jax considered lighting up a cigarette, one of the only things keeping him sane these past few weeks. But his consideration for you was bigger than you knew.

   “I know it’s asking a lot-“

You cut him off with a sigh. And then the door jingled, and you knew you were about to be surrounded by Sons.

    “How’s it goin’ in ‘ere?” The well-known accent still sent shivers down your spine. Chibs Telford could always make you blush, even if you didn’t feel as attracted to him as … someone else.

  “It’s going absolutely fine,” you grunted, moving to get the phone to call Skeeter. In any other circumstance a person reaching for a phone would set the Sons off, but not with you. Not now, anyhow.

 The first time you interacted with the group of bikers on your own, you had about four different guns aimed at you. But for some reason… for some ungodly reasons, you just. Weren’t. Scared. Not then, and not now.

  “Zo doesn’t think she can do it all tonight,” Jax replied to the Scotsman, his arms folding in front of him.

   “Oh- I did not say that.” He had dangled the bait and you jumped straight for it.

“We’ll double yer usual price lass,” Chibs interjected, knowing the argument that was about to ensue.

Your eyes flicked to Jax and you scowled, “you could’ve started with that.” Pushing the end of call button, you shoved the phone into your back pocket and shook your head.

  “I was getting to it…” he replied, a ghost of a smirk on his lips.

Nose flaring you said, “bring it around back.”

                                                            ✶ ✶ ✶

 You had gotten used to the stench of the crematorium. Probably not a good thing, but hey, with the pay being as good as this, you really couldn’t complain. Funnily enough, working with the Sons – you thought they’d be horrible. But they had always treated you well (once they trusted you).

Many others couldn’t say the same, but you knew you were always safe when they were around. The men each looked out for you in their own ways. Chibs brought food with him whenever you’d get a call at three in the morning to come to the crematorium.

 Tig’s offering being some sort of drug; Xanax, weed, oxy. He asked if you wanted a dog once.

Happy was usually the one to stay later than the rest, to make sure you locked the place up and got to your car. He’s actually brought you some of his mother’s homemade meals.

 Jax was different though. Always the first there and the first to leave, like being near you was difficult. Especially after Tara’s death. You had no idea but you reminded him of her in many ways. Headstrong. Stubborn. And your hair colour was very similar. It was a punch in the gut to see you. And it wasn’t just because of that. Even when he was married his thoughts drifted to you. It was wrong, he knew that. And that’s why now he felt even more guilty.

  Out in the cold night air, the Scotsman gave you the fat envelope. The carpark was deserted, save for the motorcycles and your own car. That was another thing you had gotten used to, the eeriness of it all. Getting in your car and driving down here in the early hours of the morning. What some would call the witching hours.

   You didn’t believe in the supernatural. Because if you did, then every noise, every moved object and creaking door would give you a heart attack. Most days you worked alone here, Skeeter entrusting you to do his services. He popped in for a few hours every week, and he wasn’t that bad of a boss. Creepy? Yes, but not in a I’m-a-woman-you-make-me-feel-uncomfortable type of way. He just had an air of unearthliness about him.  

Since being the go between with the Sons and Skeeter, you had earnt their trust indefinitely.

 The Sons heaved the bodies onto stretchers and wheeled them in through the back door. The fire had begun to swell and swell, making everyone who came near start to sweat. When Tig and Chibs saw that every piece of evidence was inside, they jumped on their bikes and left. Not before giving you a swift kiss on the cheek.

 Inside, you had on your gear and made sure every piece of … what needed to be incinerated, was. It never got old, watching those hungry flames take their next victim. Eat them up and beg for more. Like a tiger in a zoo, the fire took whatever it could and hissed at whatever came near.

You looked at the clock that hung above the doorway, 4:35am. Your eyes stung, and you blinked a few times but it barely helped. Even with your goggles on, the smoke crept outwards whenever you opened the door.

 Registering the time, you realised they had arrived an hour and thirty-five minutes ago, and a small part of you wanted the time to go over two hours. Just so you could wave it in Jax’s face. Was that cruel? You thought, but you shook your head and turned to close the door on the last body.

   Shucking off your gear, you turned off the lights and locked each room you walked past. You knew Happy would be waiting outside. Grabbing your bag, you walked out the back door and locked that too.

  “And you said it was impossible…” Jax’s voice drawled, with a lit cigarette in his hand.  

You jumped, not expecting the proximity of another human being. Usually, Happy just sat on his bike, or on the bench inside.

  “Good thing I get paid either way,” you retorted, trying to gather yourself from the scare. But you saw the way Jax’s eyes lit up as he looked at you.

[lizzie-wendigo]

Okay, I didn't know this shit had already been released either. If it weren't for the YouTube reviews, I'd never have known. Well, I don't know about you, but at least since this garbage was promoted with its trailer, I knew it wasn't going to work. Let's go in parts:

Animation & designs:

The visual section is not so bad, it fulfills the function of looking like rubberhose, however there is a colossal difference with the quality of Cuphead and Enchanted Portals. To begin with, unlike Cuphead, whose graphics are detailed, reaching an air of nostalgia for the essence of 1930s cartoons, this one seems somewhat insipid, as if the rubberhose was drawn by a fan and not by someone experienced. Although something I did like was in a level where you fight the witch, she momentarily changes to a style similar to Tim Burton. It was creative, but it doesn't save the poor quality. The game controls are similar to Cuphead, but you only have 3 types of shots that you have to choose from THE SETTINGS!! and not from the game menu.

History & Characters:

Just one word: EMPTY!!  Both the characters and "the plot" are EMPTY! There is no plot, it seems like you just fight the bosses, just for the sake of fighting. At least in CH there is a context and it tells you a story, including the DLC. But this seems like... it just happens and that's it. And the protagonists are so empty that they don't even have a name (or at least they don't say it). The bosses have no coherence or connection with the characters, they just exist and that's it. If there is no history, there is no coherence, there is no connection.... Although references are appreciated, it doesn't make up for anything.

Gameplay and Music:

Absolutely bad. Apparently there's a life bar, but you can't predict when it goes down. In cuphead, you have 3 hits, if you get hit 3 times, the level is over and you lost. Here you don't know when you lose. Then there're the enemies and bosses, it seems like you don't know what attack they'll launch or what they will do, and this is the music's fault. The sounds are HORRIBLE and generic. It seems that they saved budget when doing the sound mixing, since the enemies don't have gestures or sounds that indicate when the attacks are coming, unlike CH. It's as if: You're playing calmly and suddenly BOOM! stroke! You can't tell what or when it's going to attack you, and that will only cause you to lose, not because you caused it, it's because the game IS BADLY MADE!

IN SUMMARY: Enchanted Portals is simply a bad copy of Cuphead, which they also want to charge for the same price despite not being worth it. Save yourself 20 dollars, and don't buy this game

[mdhwrites]

Can a Wittebane special ever air on Disney Channel? I wonder how they will tackle the religious themes and murder of Caleb while keeping it Child friendly.

HAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH Oh, wait, you actually think it'd focus on Philip?

Sorry for the mocking statements but that is the long and short of it. To keep it child friendly, for what is most compelling, and for what would be most in line with TOH, the way a Wittebane special would go is actually pretty easy to map out, at least with the moments that we know about:

You start with a teenage boy looking gaunt and exhausted as he prepares for a day in the woods to forage for things that he can get and wood to chop. He needs to make money for him and his little brother, Philip, after all. He hasn't really gotten to eat much more than scraps for the past couple days but hey, that's okay. Philip gets to eat and that's all the nourishment Caleb needs. He wants his little brother to have a proper childhood and he'll give up anything for that.

While out in the woods that day though, he catches a smell. An absolutely divine smell. He follows it to its source and finds a woman in a cloak feeding the animals of the area. The bread she has smells like heaven but how she speaks to the animals reeks of the devil. His stomach gives him away though and she turns with a wry grin. She isn't afraid of him but intrigued because he didn't immediately attack, something she calls out when he won't eat her bread because of his suspicions. They strike a deal that Evelyn will tell him a truth in return for the bread. That way he knows his soul isn't the price of it. "Are you a witch?" "Yes." And that moment of pure honesty makes Caleb pause. Then he runs. He runs fast and hard, racing back to town to be sure that he can tell everyone and potentially get his brother away. To keep him safe from that which threatens them all. However, he is stopped by the fact that his little brother is sobbing and soaked. One of the other kids tricked him into the river and said they shouldn't have bother to be washed up onto the shore. They should have just drowned in the ocean because if God wanted them, they would still have... have... Caleb holds him tight before looking at the sole remaining photo he has of all four of them. The next day he is in mass, his leg shaking as he listens to the fire and brimstone the preacher speaks of. He can't focus on the words though. Not as he looks at how the kids that hurt Philip are at the front of the pews while they sit in the back because no one wants them near them. There's anger and hate in this room and it gnaws at his gut just as badly as his hunger does.

And so now we get some time of Philip and Evelyn bonding, romancing and we see the seasons pass in a sweet, effective montage to speedrun their romance, especially if this is just a 44 minute special or the like, let alone if it's 22. This montage could easily also show how the two growing older and contrast Caleb's joys of embracing the other with Philip's growing anger as he spends time in town and is indoctrinated, all without having to say what he is being indoctrinated for besides imagery of burning fires.

Then finally, we have Evelyn asking when Caleb plans to tell his brother. Caleb doesn't know. At first it was to make sure Evelyn was actually safe. Then never finding the right time because of fear of someone in town hearing. Now... Now Philip is so converted to witch hunting that he doesn't know what to do. They're even considering making his little brother witch hunter general because of just how committed he is. Caleb feels defeated and tired and all he really feels like he has left is Evelyn.

"Well... Maybe it's time to find your own path then. Your brother will be fine at your home and... And maybe you'll be fine at mine. With the rest of the witches."

It then cuts to Philip, furious, slamming open the door to the house. He has a ritual dagger in his hand... Because he has been named a lead hunter while one of those brats from when they were younger is Witch Hunter General. Just another time where the town decided to choose the people over parents than him. Over the one with the purest soul in town. At least, he thinks as he picks up the family photo and tries to calm himself, one of them. He needs his brother. He's gone again. He wishes Caleb would let him take care of him now. He makes enough money through the church to support them after all. He doesn't have to keep risking his life in the woods anymore.

"With the rest of the witches."

Philip's heart sinks. What? Who is this woman? He's never seen her? Wait, if she's with the witches, his brother is in danger! But the rest of them? If he waits for them to go he can find all of them and they'll HAVE to make him witch hunter general! But that means risking Caleb's life. He can't allow that, even for his own-

"You're right. Philip will just be happier here and... And maybe just best that I vanish. He'll just blame a witch for it anyways and trying to say goodbye would only put as all in danger." Tears come down Philip's face and his knuckles turn white as rain begins. A familiar door opens up next to Evelyn and she turns the key we all know in it. The shine of the portal illuminates Philip's face before a bolt of lightning has it change to Belos' mask and the special ends.

And that's it. It isn't a fun version of it but there's literally no version of the Wittebanes, without major retcons, that can be told in a fun way. They are orphans from a super conservative colony who majored in witch hunting before then having a schism between them be formed due to that witch hunting. This potentially, because it's up to interpretation, led to Philip killing Caleb. Bare minimum, something happens to Caleb that leads to him being dead and haunting his brother while Philip is left stranded on the Isles with no way of going back without finding his own way. The only part of that story that could be fun or comedic is the romance plotline with Evelyn and Caleb. It's also the one that allows the most to be left in obscurity about Belos, thus enabling the show not to contradict its own lore that way. Worse yet, it's also just the best story to tell there besides the rise of witch hunter Belos but those themes are indeed incredibly dark and SUPER not fun to tackle directly so it's better that it happens mostly off screen. Also, you know, it makes sure that the show doesn't glorify bigotry and hate by having us see the rise of Philip into bigoted witch hunter from his perspective. Instead, the story focuses on being critical of such things and accepting the other, which is theoretically in line with TOH in general.

It could be an effective special but I don't think it'd end up being what Belos fans want and for people who don't like Belos, the most they'll get out of it is ANOTHER quirky romance from TOH that mirrors Huntlow too much to feel unique or special. In other words, it's mostly a lose lose situation, especially since none of these elements will make the base story any deeper. It'll just add to the confusion some feel for the fact that they believe Belos is a victim and a product of his society who has a sympathetic reason for his anger but then is just a one note, pure evil villain in the main show.

This is honestly the problem with almost anything that addresses anything we saw in the show. The contradictory nature of the base product's writing, and how it slaughtered concepts at the root, means that expanding on these concepts can only make the contradictions worse. It can only make the base work worse or have MORE people screaming "WHY WASN'T THIS INCLUDED!?"

It's like how me and my Discord finally settled on one option for a lore book that could actually work for TOH if they wanted to release one for the show: One that tells us all about the Isles we didn't see. We see so little of it after all that just telling us about all these neat towns, the ways they operate, or expanding on the forms of magic that never got to do anything, could be neat. It doesn't fix the base show's lack of creativity or consistency but it doesn't inherently conflict with it either. It would just be there as harmless lore that also would have a bad hook for any readers because unlike the journals for Gravity Falls or Amphibia, they wouldn't expand on a character or the like.

The best route for TOH to go is to pull a Harry Potter, again (I hate how often this show forces me to bring up that stupid series) and make Fantastical Beasts and Where to Find Them. Either the movie or the book as either are at best tangentially related to the series but mostly just have the name of the series on them for brand recognition because the authors of both works didn't make a good enough world to actually tell anything more compelling within it after the story was done. Not without making the base product look worse.

And that includes the story of the Wittebanes.

======+++++======

What sucks is that I actually do like the plot I wrote up for the Wittebanes. Like this could genuinely be a really interesting story to make. However A: I wouldn't do fanfiction for it because of the requirement of one killing the other eventually that effectively demands no nuance between Caleb and Philip, forcing their dynamic to be very basic and B: it still suffers from having to be basic because Belos is a basic bitch evil guy while all signs from the show point to Caleb having been an absolute paragon. I made him about as gray as I could in my write up and it's still not much.

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

[petchic101]

Burn the World to Ash

Oops I wrote an Astarion brainrot one-shot? Whaaaaat. Basically what if Tav was an old acquaintance of Astarion's in high society and she was just another victim of the rich and powerful.

Fluff and Angst No smut in this one folks

Word Count: 5371

This is also kind of a trauma dump, how the body reacts to trauma, and how the body reacts when you are dying of blood loss.

TW: eludes to SA and Abuse // Blooood // Death

Enjoy! Please let me know if you want to see more, I have my main play through with my sex positive wood elf xAstarionxHalsinxEmpororxHaleep that I have a tone of ideas for! (mostly smut)

_____________________________________________________

The sun shone brightly on the coastal cliffs as Ren saw an old acquaintance from Baldur’s gate. It pierced off his white locks and pale skin quite vividly. She hadn’t remembered seeing him in this light before, perhaps any light before if she was honest. The high society parties Lorroakan often dragged her to were usually twinkled with firelight after the sun had set. The pale elf had never paid her any attention, odd considering how Lorroakan often paraded her around, dressed provocatively enough to draw any and all attention inevitably towards himself. None of Cazzadors magistrates would flock to her and her master like the other nobility would, even Cazzador himself would stop to pay her false compliments, kiss her hand or smell her hair before talking to the Wizard that kept her. Her eyes had drifted up one of these times, the pale elf stood frozen, staring. Neither daggers nor jealousy met her eyes, but a primal… fear, one of not knowing what was going to happen next.

Suddenly she was on the ground, a knife to her throat, she froze. “Shhhh not a sound, not if you want to keep that pretty little neck of yours.” Her first instinct was to go limp, to comply. He seemed to notice her body language and pressed his knife closer to her, propping himself to get a better angle. He hadn’t yet looked at her as his head turned to her newest companion. “Now you, I saw you on the ship, yes? I need answers or your darling companion will pay the price.

Shadowheart’s fist clenched. “Let her go or I swear to all that is holy-”

“Ah ah ah.” Astarion tsk’d as the dagger pressed to Ren’s neck drawing blood.

“Astarion, yes?” Ren wrapped her hand around the hand holding the knife to her throat. His reaction was knee jerk to the touch and she was slashed. But the attack was sloppy and she was able to roll away with minimal damage to her neck. He quickly jumped to his feet, still holding his dagger at them. “How do you know my name?” He hissed, panic in his red eyes, but they finally registered the girl in front of him. “Gods, your Lorroakan’s pet.” He spat the sentence then sighed rolling his eyes as he hilted his dagger, putting his hands up. “Apologies.” Suddenly the parasite in her head lurched, taking in the quick memories passed between them, not of nights of merriment but a feeling of fear while skulking moonlit Baldur’s Gate. They all held their heads, not used to the sensation. Before a full recovery could be had, Astarion pointed at her, still palming his eye. “You’re some sort of magic witch, explain this!”

Ren looked at him dumbfounded. This beautiful magistrate, plucked from the eves of high society and dropped in the middle of nowhere, why he looked absolutely displaced, a hilarious spectacle. She started laughing, almost keeling over, the somberness of the events were placed on a backdrop of nonsensical impossibilities. Like watching a play where only one of the actors was stuck in song.

Her companions stood awkwardly not knowing what to do, but Astarion puffed his chest, not liking the thought of someone not taking him seriously. “No, no, none of that, do you know what’s going on or not?”

That night at camp things were much calmer, they had managed to gather six survivors from the crash so far, including herself, oddly all of them capable of some form of martial ability or magic. Astarion sauntered up to her while she was alone, much like he did to others at those frequent parties. “How funny it is to run into someone we’ve met before, yes?” His voice was melotic, hypnotizingly so. It hit chords not unlike Cazzadors or Lorrorakan’s but much sweeter all the same.

“I suppose so.” So much had happened today she had almost forgotten how to put on her show, the one she did for high society, it was not something she was hoping to have to do when in a life or death situation. She tried to match her tone to his, a sweet harmony to keep up appearances. “I’m especially surprised you recognized me Sir, we barely saw each other in passing, odd considering how close our patrons are.” She added her own little barb at the end, something Lorroraken would have whipped her for, but he wasn’t here and this man had avoided her like the plague ever since their first meeting.

Astarion paused, perhaps not expecting his tone to be matched so quickly, or perhaps because the barb had actually stung, but she doubted it. He grabbed her hand, bringing it to his mouth. “An error of judgment on my part I’m sure.” As he went to kiss it she ripped her hand from his before she could think. He looked up, shocked. Shit. The fear must have shown on her face, she had just insulted a magistrate, one with a very powerful patron. His face softened but she quickly stood up, giving a slight bow.

“I am sorry Sir, I must be delirious from today’s events.” She straightened herself as he stood next to her. His gaze slowly took her in, her dress was badly torn, exposing old bruises that she probably hadn’t even noticed, was he feeling pity? She was just another victim of the politics inside of the city. She was lucky that Cazzador had banned them from hunting her, she was certainly a beauty, an innocent looking one that would seek comfort in his arms, and Astarion would have been happy to oblige until handing her to her fate. But she was not one of his victims, she was an easy ally to keep, he needed to make sure his grip was tight.

“Don’t be darling, today’s events have all of us out of sorts, perhaps tomorrow we can meet again as allies and not as magistrates and apprentices.” The worms communicate feelings of relief between them and she nodded hesitantly.

“Out here I’m not, how did you put it? ‘Lorroraken’s pet’?” She smirked. A warning, if he were to go to his master about some sort of insult, she could go to hers with the same claim, and this put them truly on equal ground.

Astarion grinned knowingly. She was not the pushover he had been hoping for, but someone formidable makes for easier travel than dragging some tag along noble. In all honesty though,  he could not stop thinking about tasting the blood off of his blade that night. 

_______________________________

The group had made Ren the de facto leader, almost from the fact none of them were willing to step up. Except Laezel of course,  but even she could tell these istyk would only follow one of their own. Karlach was a soldier, Wyll and Gale are self conscious loners with complex mommy or daddy issues. Shadowheart couldn't even remember her favorite book. And of course Astarion preferred the shadows. He did not think she would take to the role well considering how presumably sheltered she was. But her lessons in the nobility paid off, her quick wit in forms of persuasion were a sight to behold. She would not hesitate to use their new powers to get the edge up on whoever they were at odds with, making Astarion wonder if that was a technique her master had taught her to utilize before. She eased into the parties multiple personalities quite readily,  she melded with these people in ways he could not, or perhaps would not. They flocked to her, she was altruistic,  but willing to do what had to be done,  she listened to everyone's problems and promised loyalty and companionship,  she even helped prevent two of their new friends from exploding.  Doing it once would have been a feat in itself,  but it's weird that it happened twice. 

But something that caused Astarion much grief was that she would always find a way to include him,  even when he and the others had a silent understanding that he was better off being alone. Not that she did this all the time,  she gave him plenty of space, but group decisions were always made with the whole group present, his exasperated sighs usually being his only input aside from his snarky comments. He felt himself comforted though,  how she would put herself as a physical barrier between him and the group,  not in an intimidating way,  just something that she picked up on that made him more comfortable.

These past few days they had set up camp in caves or dungeons,  he hadn't hunted beforehand and he cursed himself for it. He was not used to being surrounded by blood this often, the constant smell was intoxicating, especially hers after he had that small snack off of his dagger after their first meeting, and even a small suckle of old blood from her had been the best thing he tasted in 200 years. 

The battle before they set up camp was particularly vexing, they had killed all of the goblins in this abandoned temple,  but fighting that damned drow was a whole ordeal. Ren had stepped in front of him, mage armor made her especially stupid, he was in and out of the shadows usually,  firing sneaked shots in critical places,  but that damn scrying eye stayed on him. Shadowheart had to grab Karlach who had been pushed off the rickety bridge, a half dead goblin still on their tails, the bear kept him occupied though.  He and Ren had been cornered by the drow leader,  but she stood in front of him, quarterstaff defending as rapier and dagger slit her skin, sometimes her magical armor deflected but not enough. She then was quite literally shoved into him, he hit the bookshelves behind them, barely managing to grab her so she wouldn't take the brunt of the force. In doing so her blood had covered him,  bathing him in the sweet smell as his head hit the shelf. Minthara knew this would buy her time and swung to help her companion, not wanting to get overwhelmed from behind. 

Ren seized in and out of consciousness as he fished for a healing potion, he sat them up quickly holding her waist tight so she would stay upright. "Don't die on me now."  He shifted her so he could feed her the potion her hand lifted, cupping his as she drank it. It was one of the more potent ones,  his from the equally shared that were divided amongst them but he didn't care. He needed her to lead this rag tag group,  he needed her alive. He needed to see her smile again, watch her facade slip as she genuinely laughed around a campfire. He needed her. 

The battle finished, all of them nearly dead as Halsin gave some over enthusiastic praise. Shadowheart was out of healing spells, but she managed to patch Ren up for the most part, dried blood and dirt caked her but exhaustion took hold and she fell asleep on top of her bedroll as soon as they got back.  The scent of blood permeated around him. He tried to meditate, read, perhaps relieve himself in other ways,  but nothing worked. And suddenly he was over top of her. Crawling on his hands and knees like some wild cat stalking its prey. He had never indulged himself.  Even when Cazasdor ate in front of him,  letting the blood, off whatever thinking creature, pool on the floor.  He never dared try and lap some up for himself. But tonight he was free, and tonight he was hungry. The campfire casted an uncomfortable spotlight on him as he looked around, no one was awake,  but the light hit him like the heavens judgment for the monster he was. He started with her hand,  lifting it gently,  then a little more fervently to make sure she was asleep. When she didn't stir he slowly started licking her.  Carefully at first then his hunger took over, he lapped his tongue over her uncovered wounds, scraping his teeth against her scabs to hopefully satiate the overwhelming instinct to bite and suck. As skin off her waist broke and as new blood pooled into his mouth he moaned, his hands formed into fists as he shifted his weight to get a better angle. But spawn or not his saliva was still a natural coagulant, and her wounds were shallow compared to what his teeth could do.  As they closed he cursed, sitting himself up and wiping his mouth. And there he saw her bright blue orbs staring at him. The fear of prey written on her face.

"Shit" how did he not hear her heartbeat speed up, for how long she had been awake. He scooted away as she sat up. "It's not what it looks like I swear." He stuttered out,  his regular vibrato gone. Ren rubbed her eyes. The shock of adrenaline to her system had woken her up, but the blood rushing to her head made it feel like it was going to explode.

"It better be what it looks like Astarion." Her voice was a whispered hiss. For some reason she was not trying to wake the others. He waited, confused,  for her to continue. "You were trying to feed I hope, not taking advantage of me, well, not in that way I suppose." She was too calm,  like she hadn't woken up to him feasting on her like a cat lapping up spilt milk.

"Excuse me?" He managed to spit out as the realization hit him. "You knew!? This whole time!? You knew and you didn't even mention it? Not once?" His face scoffed and his nose squiggled up his face making her roll her eyes.

"You're not exactly subtle, Astarion. Though I suppose you only have genuinely smiled around me, the others haven't noticed but you have, let's say, some rather large teeth." She was smirking now,  catching their mysterious companion off guard was quite a feat. He sat more relaxed now as she propped herself up, looking at the wounds. "Closed" she whispered to herself unsurprised.

"I'm sorry I didn't realize I was traveling with Baldur Gate’s local vampire expert!" Astarion flailed his hands making her laugh. But it was a dry one as if she was lost in thought. 

"It's not my… first time being fed on,  Astarion." The words were heavy in her chest as he froze, letting her continue. "Lorroakan would blindfold me and have some of his 'special' guests feed on me sometimes.  I don't know if it was one person or multiple." She trailed off. And her eyes grew dark. "Lucky me, a wizard of that caliber always has plenty of revivify scrolls laying about." Astarion felt the rage grow inside him. Cazzador would force them to hunt for his meals almost nightly,  then would still feel the need to indulge himself at his friend's homes!? Astarion gave a dry laugh that turned hysterical. He covered his mouth to keep the noise under control. 

"I can assure you it was but one man, if you can even call him that. "

"Cazzador." She whispered it as a statment. They paused for a short while. "So you never…" she trailed off. 

"No darling,  Cazzador kept us on a diet of Rats and whatever other stray animals we could get our claws on. 'The blood of the thinking creature is not for scum such as ourselves.'" He quoted his old master with venom on his tongue.

"Then have you ever?"

"No darling, I have not eaten anyone." A guilty look passed over his eyes as he looked at her.

"Then how was it?" The question came out of her so simple,  so mundane,  as if he had just tried a new flavor of pie.

He was taken aback before reflex kicked in and he went back to his suave character. "It was, dare I say, decadent."

She easily fell back into her own character, letting the reality of what they had just admitted to each other fade into the background. "You could have asked."

The frivolously bantered about the possibility of him getting staked before he would ask permission, but he ended it on a serious note. 

"I suppose I should ask then, I can feel like it will unlock my potential, I can prevent things like today from happening, protect you." He offered, licking his lips. 

She thought about the times Cazzador had sucked her dry, when the blood in your body fades, your heart goes on overdrive,  thinking it's doing something wrong, but all of your muscles lose control, the wet of sweat coats your body as you are both in the most relaxed state and more panicked than ever before. It is not a slow death, internally screaming as your body is paralyzed. Fingertips and toes go completely numb, nerves shoot pain up and down your arms and legs until eventually you're asleep. 

Astarion watched her dissociate into the memory as he grabbed her hand. "I won't kill you I promise." His eyes were genuine, knowing the pain from the memory she was going through.

"I want to try." More than anything she wanted her body back, she wanted to make the decision to say yes, so this memory would not always be burdened with the knowledge she never gave consent.

He sat up, too quickly, too hungry. She flinched but relaxed as he did not move to grab her, allowing her full control. He was handsome, she had always thought so, romance stories of vampires and their mortal prey were often read in her younger years, and though that fantasy had been spoiled by the reality she faced, she longed to set herself in that naive state of mind. 

Out of many of the nobles he had always stood out to her.  She would never inflate his ego by telling him this,  but when the attention was finally off of her and she had served her purpose as a conversation starter for Lorroakan, at the end of the evening she would find herself watching him,  how he danced and charmed his way to any and all lads and ladies that surrounded him. It was quite a spectacle. And here he was, all of that grandiose attention on her, well, her blood to be exact, because she was willing and he was able. She grabbed his hand, leading it around her waist. He started to lean in, to move them into a laying position, so he could pierce her neck. But she stood firm and he complied, not pushing her. "Is this alright?" She offered him her wrist. His smile was wide, devious, and happy.

"Of course my sweet, however you are comfortable. This is a gift,  I will not soon forget it." He wrapped his arm tighter around her waist as he grabbed the hand she offered him. Planting kisses from the palm of her hand to her upturned arm. She gave out a squeaked moan as she made herself comfortable in his lap. He purred at the noise, giving her neck and jaw some approving pecks, his own excitement starting to harden in his trousers. She bit her lip, burying her face into his neck, pecking his skin before giving a comfortable hum, rubbing her hips,  happy by the fact she excited him. "Are you ready?" She nodded into his shoulder as her body tensed. "I need to hear you say it aloud." His command caught them both off guard but in the best way possible.

"I'm ready." She braced herself as his teeth pierced her wrist, it was slow, intentional, he did not want to hit bone. Blood started spilling out before he could begin drinking,  making the first few seconds of his meal desperate slurps,  like a man trying not to spill his wine. But he settled into a rhythm, letting her blood coat his tongue. The vibration of his satisfied hum on her skin gave her goosebumps. The pain quickly set itself to a low drone, the moment felt more intimate than anything she had felt before. She had always loved serving others, but in her most formative years her choice to do so was taken away, her forced servitude to anyone her Warden wanted had made her forget about that side of her. This gave her the same joy that voluntarily helping the tieflings gave her. And it was her choice to do so. She peered up from his neck, her head light from the blood loss and the moment. His eyes were closed, the corners of them wet. Without thinking she licked one of his tears away, slowly and gently. This pulled him out of his stupor and he looked at her blankly, in shock.

"Vixen." He grumbled under his breath,  turning back to her pierced flesh to lick the wound closed. His tongue flattened over her skin again and again. She merely stared at him in awe as he occasionally would look to her, a grin flashing on his open mouth as he finished cleaning her. She rested her head back into his shoulder, suddenly exhausted again.

Half conscious she felt him lift her, she felt him cleaning the dirt and blood from her body after he removed her armor, the cloth damp but not cold. She woke up the next morning, still clothed but slightly dizzy, her brain needing to work a little extra hard to find the words she needed. Astarion sat across the cave, reading as usual, but this time no wine in his hand, his gaze only going to her once, smirking after her most likely large plastered smile met his gaze.

________________________________

The tieflings sang and danced throughout the camp, Ren showed a genuine smile, but when she thought no one was looking, a tired half smile placed itself on her face. This was his moment to do what he did best, use his body to earn more of her trust. Besides, he owed her his own body after she had given him hers.

She sunk back, out of the natural circle that surrounded the fire. The tired closed mouth smile carved into her face like stone. As Astarion managed to sneak behind her, he gently grabbed her arm, she thrashed around as if to hit him, most likely instinct. He caught her wrist, putting a finger to his mouth. She let out a breath of relief to see it was just him, but he did not release her, the feeling foreign. She let her arm go limp and he wrapped her hand to his back, letting it rest, her reaction was not flustered but she certainly wasn’t resisting, so he continued. “This is an awful ruckus compared to what we are used to, yes?” He grabbed her other hand in his, and spun them away from the fire and into the shadows. “The wine is pig swill and the devil spawn are loud. Shall we perhaps have our own fun?” His eyes adjusted to the darkness and her face was not blushing, not eager, it had set back to the closed mouth smile.

“Of course sir, if that is what you desire.” The sing-song of her voice was broken, cracking, like a lute slightly out of tune. He released their closeness, stepping back to access her, he left her fingertips in his, so he could pull her back in if need be. He gazed at her, up and down, something was so familiar about how she was behaving, but he could not place it, perhaps she reminded him of a victim from long ago? Her voice brought him back to reality. “Your tent is further from current company.” He nodded and led her there, taking both of her hands to lead her inside, shifting himself around so that she could get a comfortable spot inside.

“Now I will say this is not the lavish rooms we are used to but it will do the job.” He turned to close the tent behind them, by the time he turned back she was already pulling her tunic off her shoulders, exposing her breasts. “Oh my, eager are we?” no something about her movements were practiced, stiff.

“Sorry sir, did you want to undress me?” His eyes widened as he finally placed the familiar feeling. In 200 years he had not been able to look in a mirror, but here stood his reflection, when the body and soul split to do whatever needs to be done. He was not seducing a young woman into trusting him, he had brought a husk into his tent. He silently cursed himself as he slipped her blouse back around her, buttoning the buttons. Her eyes widened, he could feel her fight or flight kicking in as her body tensed. How did he not see it before? He knew that the wizard abused her, but because he had not cared, didn’t mean she was not a person who wasn’t affected by it. She quickly grasped his hands, squeezing to prevent herself from shaking. “Y-you’re doing it wrong.” A ragged whisper escaped her lips.

“Hush now.” He growled, not at her but at himself, her flinch though told him she could not tell the difference. He took a deep breath, letting it out slowly as he finished dressing her. “And stop calling me sir, I am no master of yours.” He paused as she looked at the ground her hands gripping her shirt tightly. “I may have miscalculated the type of fun I was willing to have tonight, my apologies.” She looked, hurt, no, terrified, as if she had done something wrong. He had been enslaved to act the predator, but she had been caged to act as prey.

“Did I do something wrong?” A panic had set into her voice, as if not fulfilling this role could end in something much worse.

When Astarion was done buttoning her he paused, sitting back on top of his calves. He waved his hand dramatically. “Of course not my sweet, you are perfect.” He was still putting on the false voice when he spoke, perhaps actions would speak louder. “Do you trust me?” They both knew she didn’t but all he needed was the nod of acknowledgment she gave him. He took off his shirt as she sat up from her half lying position. He did not want her to see his shame, not yet, no sob story needed to be poured into her lap tonight, but something in him wanted her to know she was not alone. He held his hand out, allowing her to choose to take it if she wished. 

After a slight hesitation, she matched his sitting position and placed her hand in his and he swiftly guided it to his back, where she could trace his scars. Her eyes widened as she leaned forward to get more comfortable, he grabbed her other hand to help her balance as her fingers gently traced his greatest shame. He struggled not to flinch but his body slowly relaxed under her touch. He gathered the strength to glance down at her face, her lips were pressed tight together but her eyes stared past him, she was not trying to peek at what she was feeling, for which he was more than grateful for. Her neck was strained, a perfect position for a bite. But he shouldn’t be thinking about that now.

After what felt like an eternity of silence she pulled back, he was grateful her eyes were not full of pity but understanding. “There, it seems that high society is not always kind to itself.” His mouth was strangely dry as his voice verged on cracking. Ren nodded. She didn’t have to ask how he knew, the scars she had traced seemed purposeful, almost runic, but she did not want to push him further. His hand that had caught hers to help her balance felt strangely more connected than when she had her shirt off earlier. So she didn’t let go of it and squeezed. “This wasn’t for me you know, I wanted to do something. Something to thank you for the gift you had given me earlier.”

She blushed, neither of them were looking at each other, a strange comfort hung in the air not having to put up their acts. “Astarion, you don’t owe me anything.” She whispered, still holding his hand, their fingers interlocked. You didn’t just take my blood that night, you allowed me to make that choice. That is a finer gift than I have received in many years.”

Astarion sat confused, watching her fingers stroke against his, merely two people getting used to positive touch again no doubt, nothing more. “Than why did you agree at all? If it was merely the decision, you could have, I don’t know, decided to say no, and taht would be that.” He was so used to talking with his hands he accidentally threw hers up as he didn’t let go and she laughed, being thrown off balance for merely a second. But she finally let go and layed down on his many pillows, her head slightly propped up.

The flustered look on her face surprised the vampire. “I wanted to hear you moan again.” she mumbled. He laid next to her, eyebrow cocked dramatically. “Darling there are much easier ways to get a man to moan than feeding him parts of your body.” He was not going to let himself seemingly blush from her confession.

Her laugh was dry. “You never seemed interested in me that way, and besides, I’m… I don’t know if I even want to do that, I tend to shut down.” He nodded knowingly.

“I wasn’t interested in you my dear because everyone I had sex with was eaten and killed. Lorroakan had requested you be left alone. Ironic considering what he let Cazzador do to you in that tower of his.” She listened, taking in Astarion’s words his frustrations. She wrapped her arm around his shoulder, pulling him to her chest, where his rigid form eventually relaxed. She kissed his forehead.

“I don’t think either of us need pity sex.” She spoke, maybe to herself, after the comfortable silence permeated the tent. He laughed, this wasn’t his plan, he wasn’t supposed to share his greatest traumas with someone, he was not supposed to feel bad for her. They had enough to contend with if he was actually going to ask her to kill Cazzador, but if that was the route he was heading for, adding an arch mage to the list just made sense.

“I don’t need your pity.” He huffed haughtily, his arm over her stomach as she played with his hair.

She chuckled. “And I don’t need yours.” He let out another huff. This was not supposed to be how their night ended. She was supposed to be screaming his name against some gods forsaken tree in the middle of the woods. He would finish his role, letting her fall for him, though he hadn’t thought past the first night, he had never had to before. But here he was in some woman’s arms that on some level knew every harsh reality he had seen. He could tell her if she hadn’t lived it, truly known what he was talking about perhaps it would have been easier. It would just be some sob story he would get to milk every once and awhile. But this was real, she probably felt the same feral protectiveness over him that he was feeling for her right now. But he knew he had no excuses anymore, no whoa is me to fall back on, and that was scarier than anything. That she could go through the things he had been through and still want to help and love. Where all he wanted to do was burn the world to ash. A quick peck on his forehead brought him back to reality. A half hummed goodnight escaped her lips as she fell asleep, and he was left to ponder.

[blues824]

May I request the obey me brothers with an undertaker like mc from black bulter? Who is an reaper like Thirteen also an 100+ years old with an large weapon & sleeps in an coffin, can pull out memory in an shape of a something (I ended up forgetting)

Also don't stress yourself out too much and remember to take care of yourself!

If Undertaker ever asked me to marry him, y’all would never see me again. He’s just so beautiful, and happy, and I’m in love with this man.

ANYWAYS, I’ve been working on finding a balance between schoolwork and hobbies, and I think I found a middle ground. Take care of yourself, too!

Lucifer

You seem rather joyful for such a somber occupation. Since you couldn’t exactly run a funeral parlor in Hell, you would travel to the Human World whenever necessary. He understands that the majority of your fascination with the dead is that you can obtain information much more easily.

Once, Diavolo and Lucifer were working on finding why demons all over have been going missing, and they tried to pay you with actual money. You spat out your refusal and told them you would only give them what they needed if they made you laugh. The latter thought that this was absolutely ridiculous, but the former gladly told a few jokes.

One time, Lucifer needed to talk to you about something when he saw you experimenting on the corpses in the parlor. One of them was actually moving around, and he was concerned. You just giggled and told him that you wanted to see if you could bring them back to life. Unfortunately, you still lacked the ability to form a new soul, so it was basically just a zombie. Lucifer had never been so worried.

You and Thirteen seem to get along well. He’s glad that you are getting along with other exchange students, but could you please talk about something other than the funniest “times you went to harvest souls? It is not a proper dinner conversation. And it is certainly very rude to show off your old scythe at the table as well, Y/N!

Mammon

He’s honestly vibing with you on the happy part. However, we all know how much of a scaredy cat is. You owning a funeral parlor makes him a tad terrified. He doesn’t do well with dead bodies, especially if they’re real. 

He remembers one time where he went to you for information about one of the witches he made a deal with. You see, she had died, and she was sent to your funeral parlor. She was part of a coven that Mammon was involved with, so he needed to see where they are now. However, you weren’t about to give information out for free. You told him the price, and he thought you were being ridiculous as well. However, he paid, you laughed, and you gave him the info he needed.

Another time, Mammon came by to drop off some stuff for you when he noticed you were talking to someone. He creaked open the door and saw what looked like a corpse standing up. He slowly walked backwards, but then one of the floorboards creaked. You opened the door fully and caught him, dragging him to the room to tell him about your experiments. He was genuinely terrified. You told him that the bodies were the equivalent to zombies since they didn’t have a soul.

He’s glad that you’re making friends, Y/N. But could it be anyone other than Thirteen? He’s seen you both in action because she invited you to do one more soul reaping. You, loving to partake in old hobbies, gladly accepted. He’s seen you take the film of the soul you took. Is this what happened to everyone?

Leviathan

You remind him of the Old Reaper from “My parents have perished in a terrible fire, and to seek revenge I made a deal with my demon butler to help”. It was a good anime, too bad they haven’t made a new season.

He has never seen you in your domain, so he can only rely on his brothers’ words. He’s heard of your strange bargain, info for a joke. However, he will agree that it’s better and more reliable than paying actual money for it. Plus, you see people getting back-stabbed for money, so it’s not as upsetting to tell a joke to get you to laugh.

He’s also heard from his brothers of your… experiments. The countless times they’ve heard you talking to a corpse as though it were alive, until they heard footsteps that weren’t yours. You would refer to them as your ‘dolls’, which is even more unsettling. 

He definitely gets jealous whenever you say that you have plans with Thirteen when he asks you to hang out. He’s the Avatar of Envy, after all. However, you with your scythe is his new terrifying nightmare. You and Thirteen with your scythes is even scarier (extra points if you have your cloak).

Satan

He’d say your too joyful for your job, but to be fair he does enjoy a good murder mystery story. He wouldn’t be concerned about you and your profession. Everyone has hobbies, after all. He would be concerned about how you talk about it so eccentrically. 

Your way of an information exchange is rather unusual for someone who remains on Earth. Usually, humans want money in exchange. However, when Satan visited to gain info on something, you told him your price. He doesn’t have a problem with it, but it’s odd.

Another time, he went to drop off some lunch for you when he saw you and two bodies walking around. He would have dropped the food if one of the bodies didn’t catch it before it hit the ground. You are more than glad to explain your experiments and the inability to create a soul that you have.

I think he’s on pretty good terms with Thirteen. The two don’t seem to have a problem in the game. He would like to accompany the both of you as you help her harvest souls. Mans is probably shocked between the differences of technique, since you view the film of the life and Thirteen just harvests the soul.

Asmodeus

He’s glad that you find joy in your job! You don’t see a lot of that. Plus, there is a macabre sense of beauty with the dead, and a lot of classic novelists as well as painters would agree. I mean, look at him! On Earth, he’d be described as something undead and supernatural.

I’d say that he likes your way of exchanging information. He’s used to having to pay money to gain information about witches, but when one went to your funeral parlor for something and Asmo went by to gain info on said witch, all he had to do was tell a joke. He appreciated the easy atmosphere you put on in such a grim place of business.

However, every positive thought he had about you disappeared when he visited and he heard you talking to someone in the next room. He called to you and opened the door, where he saw a corpse walking around and you sat there in deep thought. Upon discovering that he was there, you smiled and told him what was going on. He was disgusted at the sight, to say the least.

It doesn’t specify, but I think he’s also on good terms with Thirteen? He’s glad that you both bond over past experiences of being Reapers. Don’t tell Thirteen, but your version of reaping a soul is much different and more appealing than hers. The film of their life made him tear up.

Beelzebub

He’s glad that someone is optimistic around here. It’s not everyday you see someone so happy to be in Hell, literally. To be fair, you do get to visit your funeral parlor whenever a body arrives, but for the most part you reside in the Devildom.

He also enjoys your way of exchanging information. You prefer laughing rather than somber situations, so it only makes sense that you’d rather take jokes rather than actual money. The trick is to tell a joke good enough to get you to laugh.

However, it was one day where he came to take you to eat somewhere in the Human World. It was a rather normal day, until he saw you ‘resurrecting’ a corpse. He suddenly felt sick, as though the snacks he ate on the way were coming back to haunt him. You then saw him, ran and gave him a hug, and explained that you were trying to make your dolls come back to life. You further told him that since you couldn’t create a soul, they were basically just animated bodies. He threw up.

He’s kind of scared whenever you and Thirteen go out with each other. While it’s typically for business, you do get happily nostalgic about your time as an official reaper. Thirteen stands in the back just hyping you up, though. The both of you paired together are an unstoppable force. He’s probably still traumatized by her because of the whole ordeal with her causing his life candle to burn quickly.

Belphegor

No one has the right to be this happy, Y/N. Not even on a billion cups of coffee with a trillion shots of espresso. How are you so happy-go-lucky? And especially with a job such as yours. You’re surrounded with death and misery.

He finds your way of exchanging information rather annoying. Like, can’t he just pay you and get it over with? But nOoOo, you have to do something unique to make yourself stand out. Wait… it’s not that? It’s because you love to laugh and you think it takes tension away from the situation? Now he feels like shit. 

He remembers once where you had to visit your parlor because someone had arrived and he had to accompany you so that you were carrying out your promise of no nonsense. He walked into your parlor exhausted from the day, but gets suspicious when he hears your sinister giggling. He peaked in and saw one of the corpses in the room walking around. He was wide awake for a few weeks after that.

I feel like he also gets jealous whenever you go hang out with Thirteen. Like, how dare you choose reaping souls with her rather than cuddling with him? Another part is that both you and Thirteen are much more powerful than he is, so he gets that small sense of inferiority and powerlessness. He doesn’t like it at all.

[winx-reimagined]

Is sparxshipping toxic?

I’m not sure what sparxed it but I just started to think about the, debatably, infamous ship between Bloom and Valtor. And while this is a strange post to suddenly come back with (hah, assuming I even stay active after this) I might as well ride the sudden jump in interest.

Also, take this as a revision to my past (cringey) opinion on the ship. Quite honestly, I need to revisit a lot of those older posts (should I call them editorials? analysis maybe? Idfk I’ll come up with a name for them later) Dear God, they are so bad and poorly thought out urghhh

Anyways...

To start us off, what is sparxshipping?

Sparxshipping is the romantic pairing between protagonist Bloom and villain Valtor (Baltor in some versions). I will not be referring to season 8, mostly cause I don’t care for it, and partly cause I honestly forgot what even happened 💀

We meet Valtor in season 3, where he’s trying to steal various forms of magic from the different kingdoms in the magic dimension. Throughout this season we learn that he was made, by using the Dragon Flame, by the three ancestral witches to destroy Domino. Obviously making him more to Bloom, than just another villain.

Why do people ship them?

Well, there’s the obvious. They fit the enemies to lover dynamic to a T. And because Valtor is basically a blank slate of a villain, like many of the villains in Winx, it’s easy to develop his character and story in a more sympathetic---and eventually, romantic---way. Speaking of which, it’s easy to assume that he’s never been shown to love, be affectionate, or really anything healthy or positive cause again, cartoon villain guy. And that, Bloom serves as an opportunity, not only for redemption, but to properly learn to show and give love.

They are very contrasting personalities, but have very similar mindsets---just used in different ways. Valtor is suave, calculated, and charming. Bloom is stubborn, headstrong, and optimistic. The both of them are overly dedicated, impatient, confident, and the lead in their groups.

Throughout the season, Valtor seems to have an interest in Bloom, to the point of sparing her continuously. Even his henchma’ams took notice (honestly when Icy said he was strangely obsessed with Bloom and then he just uno reversed that shit, really giving me Icy x Bloom X Valtor vibes ngl). He even offered for them to takeover together, to share the power he stole. And without context, yeah, you could see how that can be taken as romantic, to a degree. But you cannot forget that he’s a huge manipulator and, like making a deal with the devil, he will give you what you want for a price.

Why is it so toxic?

The first thing that comes to most people’s minds, is the age gap. And to be fair, I also used to thing there was a disgustingly large age gap between the two. They were really giving Edward & Bella vibes, if you know what I mean. But the truth is, they are about the same age. Honestly, I blame the art-style for making him look much older and Bloom the same as when she was 16.

Think about it, Valtor was made around the same time Bloom was born in order to destroy Domino. By definition they are the same or of a similar age. The thing about that though is, does that alleviate the power imbalance he could have over her?

There are various forms of power imbalances, the only ones I could think of that are applicable to these two is power, age, and experience. Age and experience are not the same thing, you don’t magically earn experience for being a certain age you aren’t literally leveling up lol.

For age, no, there is no power imbalance. As stated, they are practically the same age.

For experience, this is an interesting one. Since we really don’t know much about Valtor, we have no idea if he had to mentally develop the same way any born being would. It puts into question his experience. Cause while there are absolutely things he knows that Bloom does not, he’s also been “raised’ a certain way, therefore all he knows could be a very narrow mindset or form of knowledge. At the very least, he has the mental capacity and know how to manipulate people and take advantage of others. So, while it’s still debatable how much of a power imbalance this puts them at, he has the capability to control her and it really falls upon the writing, for how they deal with that.

Now power, I mean this mostly in terms of magic, but I’ll also try to touch on influence and physical means of power. Though they share the same source of power---which is part of what makes them shippable, their whole two sides of the same coin dynamic (which is arguably Icy and Bloom’s dynamic)---he abuses his power. But he means to horde knowledge to become more powerful and if he had succeeded, there would be nothing Bloom could do to stop him. I feel like the implications there are obvious. And to take it a different direction. Let’s say he does have all this power and Bloom inevitably caves and basks in it as well. There’s still an imbalance, because of potential entitlement & shaming Valtor might use to hold this gift over her head. Or simply that he fully controls her abilities and therefore a lot of her autonomy.

Now physically, he is a big dude capable of using his strength to force what he wants. Don’t get me wrong, just because you’re stronger than someone does not mean there’s an imbalance of power, just that, in that aspect, you do have power over someone and it comes down to morale. And given Valtor’s pitch poor morality, paired with his physical means, there is absolutely an imbalance in power. Albeit I don’t think he’s one to force his way physically, but only because it’s not as satisfying as tricking others--he’s like Naraku really.

Lastly, influence. This is definitely the least impactful. At least as he is in the series. His influence would only become an issue after taking over the world. He has all this control over everything and everyone, what is stopping him from doing that to Bloom or holding his status over her?

And probably the most important part. He kinda uhhhh, killed her parents. Yeah. Okay, technically he didn’t kill them. Just turned them to stone to forever be in between life and death, never truly being able to do either. Mhm. He also partook in the destruction of her home and, presumably, turning Daphne into a spirit.

In conclusion...

Now I don’t hate sparxshipping, not anymore at least. But as it stands in canon, yes, it’s pretty problematic. Though it’s not impossible to get around these issues, and any others I potentially missed (don’t blame me it’s been a while since I’ve watched). With some solid planning and writing, a dash of canon-divergence, and perhaps a touch of “fix-it” it is possible to make this ship not only romantic but also enjoyably healthy. On the flipside, there’s nothing wrong with writing about a toxic relationship, just be careful how you write it and what you may indirectly be implying through your writing.

Oh and if it’s an AU it’s basically fair game, an all you can eat buffet, a pile of gold, the jackpot, the crackpot, the...

[kiss-my-freckle]

Full Episode Commentary

1x7: Haunted

This episode opens with Vicki trying to feed on Tyler. Obvious that she still has feelings for him because she begs Damon not to hurt him. The opening soundtrack speaks to Elena being the sad girl again. "Whatever happened to the mirror that showed me a happy face?" Stefan again treats Damon like he doesn't belong in Mystic Falls. "Well, if you're so worried that somebody's onto you, why don't you just leave town, Damon?" He's been wanting Damon to leave since the moment he realized he was home because he wants Elena to himself. "He walks on a moral plane way out of our eyeline." This is Damon's way of telling Vicki that Stefan's heart is pure. Stefan is... more about doing what's right than doing what's necessary. Necessary for vampires to drink human blood because it's their basic nature. Stefan would rather push his animal diet onto Vicki than get her to drink from blood bags. Damon would rather be honest about her vampirism. "Don't lie to the girl. It's so not what you're craving."

Damon's scene with Elena is adorable. She's already proving herself capable of seeing him beyond his bad brother image. "If you wanted me dead, I'd be dead." Damon's response is truth because there's being dead, and there's being dead-dead. "Yet." Damon wouldn't kill her, but he'd most certainly turn her into a vampire. Turning her into a vampire is something Elena fails to consider. He plays with the door again because he's proving a point... she should be scared of both brothers.

The door was open. The door was closed.

"So, she's a vampire with issues?" is the most hilarious question I've ever heard. Being a vampire is an issue in and of itself. They're predators. Bonnie has a chat with her grams about their ancestors. She wants to get to the fun part of being a witch and I don't blame her lol… I'd totally love being a witch. A Mystic Grill scene with the Lockwoods. They're talking shop while Damon listens in. Halloween is my favorite holiday so I enjoy that aspect of the episode. Caroline is bitter about Stefan lol.. "Riding to his castle on his white horse." Stefan is teaching Vicki tricks to appear human. Apparently, they drink coffee to warm their bodies so as to be human temperature. I can't stop laughing at Vicki attacking Elena, and she attacks Elena because Elena challenged her through her body language.

Vicki asks Damon why he turned her, and he lies to her. It's in his body language and his hesitation when he answers. "Your life was pathetic. Your afterlife doesn't have to be." This comment is the reason he turned Vicki. He takes her outside to teach her the perks of being a vampire. Stefan doesn't like this at all. While it is a bad idea, Stefan has a problem with Damon treating vampirism like it's a gift. His body language is hilarious because you can tell he's annoyed with the fact that the two are finding fun in their vampirism. Vicki heads home to see Matt, and I laugh when he refuses to invite Stefan in their house.

"Let me guess. Daisy Buchanan. I love a good Gatsby look." Carol and her husband seem to have an open marriage because they both step outside the lines. Damon has his scene with Carol, and she's totally flirting with him. Damon tries to compel her, but he's not able to. That's when he realizes she's wearing vervain jewelry. Because Zach was growing it in the cellar, Damon is smart enough to know that he's been growing it for the council. It's absolutely hilarious to me that Bonnie dresses up as a witch and Vicki dresses up as a vampire. Elena looks sexy af in her nurse costume. Matt, Elena, Stefan, and Jeremy are all about Vicki at the Halloween party.

Damon confronts Bonnie about Emily's talisman because it is in fact his. Bonnie has no idea that it's his because she has no idea they're vampires. This will be her price to pay due to Stefan's secrets and lies, and she's not the only one. Because she refuses to give it to Damon, he tries to take it from her neck, but it burns him like vervain would.

Jeremy and Vicki make out between the school buses. I love the soundtrack they chose for this scene. "But the darkness is a stranger in our lonely, lonely, lonely low." I'm just gonna point out the fact that Stefan could've snapped Vicki's neck and threw her in the cellar. He chose death for her because it was convenient for him. Had it been Caroline biting into Elena, he would've snapped her neck. Vicki takes Caroline's place at the end of 1x4.

Elena spent the entire episode lying about Vicki, so by the time she meets up with Matt and lies to him, it gets to her. It bothers her that she's basically forced to lie and keep secrets because she's big on trust.

Damon shows up to take care of Vicki's body. This scene is insanely beautiful to me because Damon pretends not to care, not to feel. He puts on quite a show for Elena with his claim that he feels no remorse, that none of this matters to him.

"You just don't wanna die, do you?"

Anyone paying attention so far would know the truth. Damon is not Stefan. He doesn't need her to leave because she's bleeding. He needs her to leave because he's feeling. He feels the sting of her slap like he did in 1x3, and it has the same effect. He's on her porch, offering to compel Jeremy for the same reason he was caressing her face in her bedroom. He feels.

He's now opposite the open. "How can you be so arrogant and glib after everything that you've done?"

"Look, for months after mom and dad died, I felt like crap. Like nothing really even mattered crap. Now all of a sudden, I get these moments and things started to feel just a little bit better, and Vicki was in every single one of them."

"Make it stop. It hurts. Why does everybody have to die on me?"

It's best to look closer at Jeremy and Vicki because this is how Stefan compels his relationship with Elena, and he knew exactly what he was doing when he entered her life.

Damon compelling Jeremy will change everything for Elena.

[echantedtoon]

True Enough

Joe discovers that his love just might be true enough to save her naive soul.

(I don't own anything, everything belongs to Disney, coverart not mine, etc. Found art on Pinterest. If the original artist is found I will credit them here)

(I don't own anything. There's a reference to Steven universe and The Swan Princess in here.)

He was there when it happened. 

In the cave. In the darkened waters as they brought her into the witch's home. Oh he knew her plan. He made no objections to her plan nor did he physically do anything to stop it. So why did it feel so surreal and shocking to see her swim into this miserable place. This is what she wanted all along. Isn't it what he wanted all along as well as her assistant? What they both wanted? He was the girl's friend to relay information and to help in everything that lead up to this moment! But..her shocked face seeing him there...

It hit him harder than it should've.

However she wasn't there to see him. She was there for HER. The sea witch. He was there when she asked to be turned human. And all for what? To pursue a Prince that she only met once?! He knew she a bit naive but not to these levels! But he should be happy that it made her fall into the witch's hands..Right? Then why did it make his chest tighten up so? It was so easy for her to be tricked.

"The only way to get what you want is to become a human yourself."

"Can you do that?"

He saw the EXACT moments of (excuse the pun) hook, line, and sinker. And his stomach sure sunk when seeing the witch's face.

"My dear, sweet child. It's what I do."

Despicable. Absolutely despicable.

"Now here's the deal. I'll make you a potion that'll turn you into a human for three days." She looked at him. Not at the witch. A look of concern that made him twist inside. But the witch made sure to pull her attention back to her. After all Ariel should pay attention. Ursula was always VERY specific with the effects of her spells and the rules she laid down. "Got that? Three. Days. Now listen. This is very important. Before the sun sets on the third day, you've got to get dear old princey to fall in love with you."

Three days? That's not enough time to properly fall in love. He should know. Ariel was dead set to fail. The sea witch definitely planned this thoroughly.

"That is he's got to kiss you. Not just any kiss. The kiss of true love." 

And there it is. The loophole. He was always able to spot them in her deals.

"If he does kiss you before the sun sets on the third day you'll remain human forever. But if not you'll turn back into a mermaid and you'll belong...to me."

He hoped if she had any smarts left she'd use them now.

"Have we got a deal?"

"If I turn human.. I'll never see my father or sisters again." She looked at him again with that pleading look of desperation like she was asking him for his input. For help.

He hoped to send back a mental message. Yes! Please!Think of your family instead of the prince you just met one night!!

"That's right. But you'll have your man. Life is full of tough choices isn't it? Oh! That reminds me. We haven't discussed the process of payment. You can't get something for nothing you know." What? What price? He wasn't told about this! "I'm not asking much. It's just a token. A trifle really. You'll never even miss it. What I want from you is...Your. Voice."

What?! What was she thinking? It would put her at an awful disadvantage more than what she already was at this point!! But...she agreed. Of course she did. And then this entire mess started. He could've done something but..Well at least he had the comfort of knowing that there was no way the prince would succeed. And he'd be lying if he said he was pleased with their intervention of that kiss. He took whatever time the witch wasn't looking to read EXACTLY what was written on that contract.

'I hereby grant unto Ursula the Witch of the Sea one voice in exchange for humanity. If true love's kiss is not met in three days time by sundown I forfeit to her my servitude for all eternity. Signed-'

And then her name was written there. Ah. Oh yes. He believed he knew exactly what was to be done about this. He just wondered what exactly would happen afterwards.

"You kissed me."

"So I did didn't I?"

The water was warm today. Very nice as they sat on the rocks. Of course..she didn't have any legs this time around again and had her voice back obviously or she wouldn't be able to talk to him. The rocks surface was smooth obviously smoothed out by the sea water waves rolling over them for so long. It made for a perfect spot for him to just lay there and stare at the blue sky. Well that was before a pouting face leaned over him to stare down at him.

"You know what I mean."

"So I do. ..Nice day isn't it?"

"Joe, don't change the subject. Why?"

"Because it was one way to ensure you'd have more chance of success. " His eyes looked to hers. "The written contract stated that in order for you to not become in her endless servitude you needed a kiss of true love didn't you? The written contract never said that it had to be from the prince specifically."

The salty fresh air smelt nice and it made her hair wave just right as her brows furrowed. He had the idea she looked quite nice with her hair flowing like that.

"But my voice..My legs." Her eyes glanced down to the shimmering emerald tail. "You didn't change anything."

"On the contrary. You got the voice back yourself all on your own." A hand reached up to flick her nose. She did look so adorable when her delicate hand grabbed at it in a pout. "The written agreement stated that a kiss of true love would keep you out of her servitude, and it had. However your verbal agreement made it so it had to be the prince to remain human. I wasn't the prince...So as a result of not keeping up the second bargain, you resumed your natural form." His form sat up shrugging his shoulders. "As for your voice...that was something you did on your own. Saving the prince and defeating Ursula was also your doing. Not mine."

"That wasn't funny." Her face remained scrunched in a pout as she rubbed at her nose making him huff a chuckle. "And even if what you say is true, nothing happened. I'm not human..Not.. anymore." Her beautiful blue eyes turned back out to the water. Still confused on such an idea. 

Such a thing was always a fun little expression for him to see on her.

"Silly girl. You don't have to be human to have the concept of humanity within you." The little head turned to him blinking. "That was why you saved him in the first place wasn't it? Because you had more humanity in you than anyone I've ever met. Including myself. Besides...Even if you had kissed Prince Eric, I doubt that it would've been enough."

"Why wouldn't it have been?!" He rose a brow at her sudden defense and frown. "Love is a strong concept that can break even the harshest evils."

"You really are a silly girl aren't you?" She was taken aback as she fully sat up, and suddenly finding the calmness of the waves hitting the edge of the rocks at his feet very interesting. "...Love at first sight doesn't exist. Love takes time and love takes work. At the very least you have to know the other person." An eye glanced her direction briefly. "And you literally know nothing about him."

Blue eyes widened at him. "But...I do know him."

He chuckled. "Yes. But how much? You know he's a prince. His name is Eric." A head tilted to distant land. A beautiful scenery of green and pearly white castle. "And he lives in a castle by the sea with a kingdom he rules over kindly. Oh yes. He is a very nice prince isn't he? But what else is there?" His head turn around to meet the wife eyed silly girl sitting beside him. "Being a kind and caring person is a very good thing, but what ELSE?"

"I-...what else?"

He slowly nodded. "Yes. What else? What else do you know about him? What else is there to him?" His hand was quick to tap her nose before she even noticed. "Does he make you laugh in joy? Is the way he carries himself something you like? What if you hate the way he does something? What if you two have too many different views on things? What if you find no attraction at all? It takes more than three days to get to know a real person."

Blue eyes went cross to look at the nose before back to him. "He saved my life-"

"And you saved his." A hand pointed at her. "And your father saved yours. ... Allow me to give you a truth. You need more than three days to love someone. Love at first sight does NOT exist. You can certainly have attraction at first sight, but love is like a flower. Anyone can be attracted to it's petals but it's not beautiful instantly. It takes time to be planted. It needs time to be nurtured and grown into a strong stem before anything beautiful can blossom from it. Attraction is only a factor. Not a whole."

The waves were his solace away from the staring of eyes as he turned towards the water's. So comforting with it's gentle feel and waved lulling you asleep like a lullaby.

"Then..You mean you-?"

"Would I have helped you the way I did if I didn't?"

There was a bit more of that calm silence.

"..How long have you- ..I mean when did you start-" She trailed off unsure of how to say it before gesturing to herself. "For me?"

...He shrugged. "I'm unsure of the exact amount of time, but I would say a few years. Certainly longer than three days." Eyes curiously side glanced at her. "... You're not with HIM right now. Curious. Isn't that what You've wanted from the start?"

"I-.." Blue eyes looked away. "I'm...not sure anymore." His head turned further to her. "Maybe I will but now.. Maybe I won't after all. I need more time to think about everything. And you."

"What about Eric?"

"If he loves me then he'll understand. ..If he loves me. I'm sure he at least cares."

He nodded. "He is a kind prince. I won't speak ill about someone when there's nothing to speak ill about. And...your family?" Her father?

She smiled brightly at him. "He's much better. I think he finally understands me now. They're glad to have me again."

He hoped that would last a long time too.

"Hm. And...Me?"

Her face went thoughtful for a moment humming before the same smile greeted him. "I believe if you love me, then you'll understand what entails too."

A blink of his eyes. And a turn of his reddened face greeted her giggles. 

"Silly girl. You'll never change."

And deep down he hoped she never truly did.

[ethereal-night-fairy]

Thanks for the tag @ghouljams.

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

I have six works on there.

2. what's your total ao3 word count?

36,414

3. what fandoms do you write for?

Call of Duty.

4. top five fics by kudos

Silver Tongues, Like Bullets

A Lick and a Promise

Broken Vows and Promises

Heavenly Saviour

To the Edge of Chaos

5. do you respond to comments?

Yes. Usually within a day.

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Non of my fics have ended yet. But Forgotten Sorrows and Scorched Earth are most likely going to have very angsty endings. Broken Vows and Promises might also have a angsty ending but that's undecided at the moment.

7. what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

A Lick and a Promise and To the Edge of Chaos have happy endings planned for them. Silver Tongues, Like Bullets is in uncertain territory at the moment.

8. do you get hate on fics?

I'm relatively new to writing so thankfully I haven't experienced any so far....that might change later on though.

9. do you write smut?

Yes....too much sometimes.

10. craziest crossover?

I haven't done a crossover as of yet.

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

No, not that I know of. I pray to god it doesn't happen.

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope. Again I'm fairly new to writing.

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes kinda. I've done ad-lips to blurbs from creators I love. It's mainly just me giving my two cents and the writers adding to it or just commenting on what I wrote. I've done drabbles for a Mafia Price fic with @groguspicklejar where we'd take turns adding to the story.

14. all time favorite ship?

Can I say Price and @ghouljams oc Witch? They've changed my brain chemistry.

I'm also quite partial to Farah and Alex. I absolutely love those two. Ghost and Soap is another great ship I support. But I also love Poly 141. Witch and Price are still my favourite though.

If I were to choose one of my own characters I have to say Princess and Gaz from my pirate fic.

15. what's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I started writing a original novel about a fantasy world with magical Fae when I was 16. It was a world completely cut off from humans though the fae knew of their existence.

The main character was a pegasus with wings made of Sunlight and Flames. Her name was Ifza. A name choosen by her parents in hopes she would become a protector for her people like her predecessors.

She was one of the many descendants of Haizum the Horse gifted to the Archangel Gabriel. A magical being known for being able to fly swiftly from one cosmic plane to another. Though those powers have lessened as the new generations were born.

From the same bloodline came a family of warriors sworn to protect the magical realm of Zuhur. The same family Ifza was born into. It was only a matter of time before humans exhausted the resources of their own world. It wouldn't be long before they set out to conquer another. It was just a waiting game at this point.

I know I'll probably never finished this idea mainly because when I first came up with it it was supposed to be a story based on me and my friend group but I've drifted away from them since I finished school and honestly my memories with some of the girls aren't the best so the characters I created based off them don't sit right with me anymore.

16. what are your writing strengths?

I'm not too sure. I have really got a grasp on my writing style yet. I like world/lore building. I can't say for sure if I'm good at it though.

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

Short fics. I'm not very good at pacing myself because I want to add so many elements to scenes but that just ends up making fics very long and sometimes a little redundant.

18. thoughts on dialogue in another language?

I haven't really had a reason to use it. But in Scorched Earth and To the Edge of Chaos I'm looking forward to using phrases in other languages.

19. first fandom you wrote in?

Call of Duty

20. favorite fic you've written?

I'm rewriting it at the moment but I really like the general story I came up with for Forgotten Sorrows. And I really like Rún my oc. Though I'm not very nice to her most of the time.

No pressure tags: @groguspicklejar @peachesofteal @meadow-of-daisies-and-lavender

[hazbinextgeneration]

True Enough

Joe discovers that his love just might be true enough to save her naive soul.

(I don't own anything, everything belongs to Disney, etc.)

(I don't own anything. There's a reference to Steven universe and The Swan Princess in here.)

He was there when it happened. 

In the cave. In the darkened waters as they brought her into the witch's home. Oh he knew her plan. He made no objections to her plan nor did he physically do anything to stop it. So why did it feel so surreal and shocking to see her swim into this miserable place. This is what she wanted all along. Isn't it what he wanted all along as well as her assistant? What they both wanted? He was the girl's friend to relay information and to help in everything that lead up to this moment! But..her shocked face seeing him there...

It hit him harder than it should've.

However she wasn't there to see him. She was there for HER. The sea witch. He was there when she asked to be turned human. And all for what? To pursue a Prince that she only met once?! He knew she a bit naive but not to these levels! But he should be happy that it made her fall into the witch's hands..Right? Then why did it make his chest tighten up so? It was so easy for her to be tricked.

"The only way to get what you want is to become a human yourself."

"Can you do that?"

He saw the EXACT moments of (excuse the pun) hook, line, and sinker. And his stomach sure sunk when seeing the witch's face.

"My dear, sweet child. It's what I do."

Despicable. Absolutely despicable.

"Now here's the deal. I'll make you a potion that'll turn you into a human for three days." She looked at him. Not at the witch. A look of concern that made him twist inside. But the witch made sure to pull her attention back to her. After all Ariel should pay attention. Ursula was always VERY specific with the effects of her spells and the rules she laid down. "Got that? Three. Days. Now listen. This is very important. Before the sun sets on the third day, you've got to get dear old princey to fall in love with you."

Three days? That's not enough time to properly fall in love. He should know. Ariel was dead set to fail. The sea witch definitely planned this thoroughly.

"That is he's got to kiss you. Not just any kiss. The kiss of true love." 

And there it is. The loophole. He was always able to spot them in her deals.

"If he does kiss you before the sun sets on the third day you'll remain human forever. But if not you'll turn back into a mermaid and you'll belong...to me."

He hoped if she had any smarts left she'd use them now.

"Have we got a deal?"

"If I turn human.. I'll never see my father or sisters again." She looked at him again with that pleading look of desperation like she was asking him for his input. For help.

He hoped to send back a mental message. Yes! Please!Think of your family instead of the prince you just met one night!!

"That's right. But you'll have your man. Life is full of tough choices isn't it? Oh! That reminds me. We haven't discussed the process of payment. You can't get something for nothing you know." What? What price? He wasn't told about this! "I'm not asking much. It's just a token. A trifle really. You'll never even miss it. What I want from you is...Your. Voice."

What?! What was she thinking? It would put her at an awful disadvantage more than what she already was at this point!! But...she agreed. Of course she did. And then this entire mess started. He could've done something but..Well at least he had the comfort of knowing that there was no way the prince would succeed. And he'd be lying if he said he was pleased with their intervention of that kiss. He took whatever time the witch wasn't looking to read EXACTLY what was written on that contract.

'I hereby grant unto Ursula the Witch of the Sea one voice in exchange for humanity. If true love's kiss is not met in three days time by sundown I forfeit to her my servitude for all eternity. Signed-'

And then her name was written there. Ah. Oh yes. He believed he knew exactly what was to be done about this. He just wondered what exactly would happen afterwards.

"You kissed me."

"So I did didn't I?"

The water was warm today. Very nice as they sat on the rocks. Of course..she didn't have any legs this time around again and had her voice back obviously or she wouldn't be able to talk to him. The rocks surface was smooth obviously smoothed out by the sea water waves rolling over them for so long. It made for a perfect spot for him to just lay there and stare at the blue sky. Well that was before a pouting face leaned over him to stare down at him.

"You know what I mean."

"So I do. ..Nice day isn't it?"

"Joe, don't change the subject. Why?"

"Because it was one way to ensure you'd have more chance of success. " His eyes looked to hers. "The written contract stated that in order for you to not become in her endless servitude you needed a kiss of true love didn't you? The written contract never said that it had to be from the prince specifically."

The salty fresh air smelt nice and it made her hair wave just right as her brows furrowed. He had the idea she looked quite nice with her hair flowing like that.

"But my voice..My legs." Her eyes glanced down to the shimmering emerald tail. "You didn't change anything."

"On the contrary. You got the voice back yourself all on your own." A hand reached up to flick her nose. She did look so adorable when her delicate hand grabbed at it in a pout. "The written agreement stated that a kiss of true love would keep you out of her servitude, and it had. However your verbal agreement made it so it had to be the prince to remain human. I wasn't the prince...So as a result of not keeping up the second bargain, you resumed your natural form." His form sat up shrugging his shoulders. "As for your voice...that was something you did on your own. Saving the prince and defeating Ursula was also your doing. Not mine."

"That wasn't funny." Her face remained scrunched in a pout as she rubbed at her nose making him huff a chuckle. "And even if what you say is true, nothing happened. I'm not human..Not.. anymore." Her beautiful blue eyes turned back out to the water. Still confused on such an idea. 

Such a thing was always a fun little expression for him to see on her.

"Silly girl. You don't have to be human to have the concept of humanity within you." The little head turned to him blinking. "That was why you saved him in the first place wasn't it? Because you had more humanity in you than anyone I've ever met. Including myself. Besides...Even if you had kissed Prince Eric, I doubt that it would've been enough."

"Why wouldn't it have been?!" He rose a brow at her sudden defense and frown. "Love is a strong concept that can break even the harshest evils."

"You really are a silly girl aren't you?" She was taken aback as she fully sat up, and suddenly finding the calmness of the waves hitting the edge of the rocks at his feet very interesting. "...Love at first sight doesn't exist. Love takes time and love takes work. At the very least you have to know the other person." An eye glanced her direction briefly. "And you literally know nothing about him."

Blue eyes widened at him. "But...I do know him."

He chuckled. "Yes. But how much? You know he's a prince. His name is Eric." A head tilted to distant land. A beautiful scenery of green and pearly white castle. "And he lives in a castle by the sea with a kingdom he rules over kindly. Oh yes. He is a very nice prince isn't he? But what else is there?" His head turn around to meet the wife eyed silly girl sitting beside him. "Being a kind and caring person is a very good thing, but what ELSE?"

"I-...what else?"

He slowly nodded. "Yes. What else? What else do you know about him? What else is there to him?" His hand was quick to tap her nose before she even noticed. "Does he make you laugh in joy? Is the way he carries himself something you like? What if you hate the way he does something? What if you two have too many different views on things? What if you find no attraction at all? It takes more than three days to get to know a real person."

Blue eyes went cross to look at the nose before back to him. "He saved my life-"

"And you saved his." A hand pointed at her. "And your father saved yours. ... Allow me to give you a truth. You need more than three days to love someone. Love at first sight does NOT exist. You can certainly have attraction at first sight, but love is like a flower. Anyone can be attracted to it's petals but it's not beautiful instantly. It takes time to be planted. It needs time to be nurtured and grown into a strong stem before anything beautiful can blossom from it. Attraction is only a factor. Not a whole."

The waves were his solace away from the staring of eyes as he turned towards the water's. So comforting with it's gentle feel and waved lulling you asleep like a lullaby.

"Then..You mean you-?"

"Would I have helped you the way I did if I didn't?"

There was a bit more of that calm silence.

"..How long have you- ..I mean when did you start-" She trailed off unsure of how to say it before gesturing to herself. "For me?"

...He shrugged. "I'm unsure of the exact amount of time, but I would say a few years. Certainly longer than three days." Eyes curiously side glanced at her. "... You're not with HIM right now. Curious. Isn't that what You've wanted from the start?"

"I-.." Blue eyes looked away. "I'm...not sure anymore." His head turned further to her. "Maybe I will but now.. Maybe I won't after all. I need more time to think about everything. And you."

"What about Eric?"

"If he loves me then he'll understand. ..If he loves me. I'm sure he at least cares."

He nodded. "He is a kind prince. I won't speak ill about someone when there's nothing to speak ill about. And...your family?" Her father?

She smiled brightly at him. "He's much better. I think he finally understands me now. They're glad to have me again."

He hoped that would last a long time too.

"Hm. And...Me?"

Her face went thoughtful for a moment humming before the same smile greeted him. "I believe if you love me, then you'll understand what entails too."

A blink of his eyes. And a turn of his reddened face greeted her giggles. 

"Silly girl. You'll never change."

And deep down he hoped she never truly did.

[cryptidcasanova]

OMG HI! I love your Eddie Hellfire Haunts so far! They are so beautifully written. Everytime I read them I wish you could make a series!

May I request a Witch!Nancy with the prompt of "Magic comes at a price" in headcanon format (but you may also do it as a full pick, just in case you have a lot of other requests)

Thank you! Happy Haunting!

I'm so glad you're enjoyoing Hellfire Haunts!

And absolutely! I'm so used to writing fics that I don't know if I've ever done a headcannon before. But I love this idea so much!

Practical Magic

Soft Witch!Nancy Wheeler x GN Reader

Nancy didn't realize just how far she would push against her nuclear family's upbringing. She didn't know when it started, but she felt different ever since she tumbled into the upside down for the first time. After the Demogorgon attacked that deer, she changed.

Sometimes, she could sense things. Not the same way El could, but she could feel the energy in the room. She could see people differently, discerning their intentions.

That's what led her to the newspaper and journalism. She thought she'd be happy there, but it wasn't all it was cracked up to be. There were too many crooked reporters out there.

She took up keeping a little garden in her parent's backyard. Her dad applauded her humble, quiet hobby. Her mom watched on, confused at first. Nancy never liked to dig in the dirt. But as her flowers and herbs took root, Nancy's happiness was eerily familiar to her mom. She felt that way at about that age, and so did her own mother. Maybe it ran in the family, but the upside-down tapped into something much more potent.

The sight.

Neither inherently good nor bad, Nancy had to find her own path. Her mom tried to offer what little insight she had, but Karen had pushed out those reckless, childish thoughts when she met Ted. And then on, her family was her life.

Nancy didn't understand it. It wasn't like she could turn it on or off. Her abilities weren't quite like El's, but something else. She couldn't help it sometimes.

She could create joy with a smile or spread a current of tension through the room with a wilting stare. Mike was usually on the receiving end of them.

She spent her nights in the garden, watching the moon disappear behind the clouds. Sometimes, Nancy thought she could hear windchimes on the back porch. It was like something was calling out to her, and she didn't know how to call back. She was antsy trying to understand it.

Nancy started to bake with her mom, including ingredients from her garden. The baked goods started to leave a lingering effect. Whatever Nancy was doing to draw in every grandma and housewife of Hawkins to their front door was beyond her.

She helped El and Max get ready for homecoming one year, and by the end of the night, Mike and Lucas weren't the only ones fawning over them.

Nancy had this gentle but powerful ability. She just didn't know what to do with it.

But she felt like a growing fish in a little bowl. She wanted to see what was beyond the outskirts of Hawkins. She wanted to learn more, to see more.

She found what she was looking for in a little shop on the outskirts of Indianapolis. A secluded shop called to her with its soothing energy. It was inviting. She felt a tug in her heart to go in.

It was a metaphysical shop. It was soft and comforting, but there was something more. 

When you heard the bell ring, you looked at her with a careful expression. One look at her, and you knew. Nancy was green and curious while looking at the old books, tomes, recipes, and ingredients. Her eyes were practically glowing with excitement.

"I think I have just the thing for you." You called out to her, extending a hand to her. "But magic comes at a price. Are you ready?"

She took your hand and didn't look back. She'd be ready the next time something crazy happened in Hawkins or anywhere else.