#Worlds okayest cleric

[sadmages]

God's specialest little weirdo, World's most okayest cleric

[nartatoalevy]

Isadora the wandering knight of Saeyvan

(click for higher resolution!)

[dantalaois]

Currently overthinking the fact that I opted for the charlatan background for Makepeace this time around (RIP to the sailor background, you were great 😩), so he now gains inspiration and experience from deceiving people and playing sides against one another. It has been an experience. Not only did he just pull off the double-cross on the Absolute's forces--poisoning the goblins mid-revelry and diverting suspicion away from the party; successfully shielding his mind from Minthara's psychic intrusions when she tried to pry more information out of him by force, before returning to the Grove to help the refugees prepare for a fight with the raiders--but during that fight, he summoned Lump and his siblings to assist the tieflings. ... whom he then had killed once the raiding party had been reduced to stragglers (this was purely because it turns out if the ogres do not die during the fight once all the enemies are dealt with, the tieflings will immediately aggro on them - and then your party. It's probably a bug, but the flavour matches everything else nicely). He looted Minthara's nice mace and Lump's magical circlet that makes its wearer smarter, afterwards. He also successfully read a Thayan necromantic tome. World's Okayest Cleric of Kelemvor, right here.

[thestalkerbunny]

If I pull Valentines mask off would she die?

Well for one, Valentine (dearest Kenku, world’s okayest cleric.) is a male. He’s named for the St. Valentine (also male) the patron saint of bees, epilepsy and the PLAUGE. Honest mistake, it’s a very feminine name nowadays.

Secondly, if you pulled off Val’s mask, it’d just be uh..... this

Valentine is a Kenku (which is basically a bird person). He’s a bird dressed like  a man who is dressed as a bird. His specific sub species is a Bone Vulture-which is a large predatory vulture from Africa that eats bones.

He wouldn’t die. He’d be very very upset and annoyed and probably would try to eat your face, but no sudden death.

[themilokin]

14, 17, 29, 30, 31

14. Introduce any other parties you have played in or DM-ed.

Oh god. Oh no. The LONGEST LIST…

The Historical Preservation Society of Fandolin - My first ever dnd party playing Lost Mines of Phandelver! This was a bunch of years ago and I still have very very fond memories. We got our name by a scheme that managed to get us a 1v1 fight with a necromancer and then later an invitation to see some bugbears but that turned out less good. Comprised of Flint the Dwarven Cleric who 100% started a table-wide superstition of warhammers never hitting their targets, Taris the Half-Orc Paladin noble who originated the scheme, Tilwynn Syrr (Mr. Sir)- my wood elf rogue- who continued the scheme and butted heads with Taris repeatedly, and Eileer- a wood-elf beastmaster ranger who we called Grandma for her age and general personality. It was a wild few months.

Ghostbusters - A hard-scrabble group of idiots fight off supernatural threats and actual cannibal Shia LeBouff in the Magic The Gathering setting of Innestrad. The first campaign my girlfriend and I got to play together, and her first campaign! Comprised of her Ness (a Hunter Ranger with RIDICULOUS damage output), my Vermillion Kade (assassin and group dad), a Fighter that died to a Shambling Mound and came back as a Bagpiping Bard whose names elude me, Nessnemo (Nemo for clarity- a barbarian whose outfit consisted of primarily straps and little else), and Anders (A druid who caused the tablewide joke of ‘Bear in a Banquethall’ whenever players do something Very Ill-Advised because they missed a detail of description). We also saw a character named Chrodechild in this game while I took over for a Birthday Two-shot DMing stint.

OG Sendra - The first attempt at a full-length campaign. Comprised of Chrodechild the enchantress that eventually face-heel-turned into a villain, Lorelai Elffei the thief from a town of children who died and came back, Nemo (once more, but tiefling this time), Eseka the Halfling Monk/Bard performer in a circus (I THINK to melil, actually) who died and was restored, and Feverfew- the Drow Warlock of the Archfey.It had a pretty high character-swap-and-death rate. Feverfew the warlock died and became Patrin the Dragonborn Paladin who was then ALSO killed, and Kanseif the Human Barbarian Warrior Princess came about to replace him. Chrodechild turned evil and was replaced with Rhadha the crippled tiefling warlock who had made a deal with hags and had a long contract full of stipulations. Brill had to depart after character moments occurred and came back as Sylvienne Ghost- an Aasimar druid and Therapy Dog. There were further character swaps later on, but by the time they occurred the campaign had begun to grind to a halt.

Shards of the Past - A campaign run by a friend. The party was gathering the broken fragments of a rod of Manticores to fight back against the northern Empire. We were contracted by the queen to do so and BOY we sucked at it but we sure did win the war! A human paladin (whose name escapes me) with a lion-steed named Balthazar, Kestral the human Ranger-assassin (who had bird-themed names for her whole family it was rad), and my gnome Wizard Sullivan Orren du Ghislain-Ameritte III, who slowly descended towards lawful evil as the game progressed. It was a WILD romp. 

ThreaTTT - My second stab at DMing! The players awoke in prison after a night of wildly out-of-hand carousing and had to pay off their debt to society in service to Drann’s public. Mostly monster hunting and character-driven, the first introduction of The Timeless and Sliver of Moon! Party consisted of Tor (half-elf half-dwarf bard who was locked in an endless one-sided rivalry with Fortesque D’artigan- another half-elven bard), Risc Taxis (an assassin from the Talons, the southern Thieves and Assassin’s guild in Sendra, and an addict to Celadon- a opiate that stains fingers blue), and Atonement/Toni- an Aasimar Archfey warlock who was fleeing an engagement and was beholden to the whims of her 12 year old patron. They more or less made a thrash metal band by level 5, and Cera- a merfolk enchantress prostitute- joined up with them after a trip to the Stormlashed Sea. Her name didn’t fit the scheme, but she was loads of fun.

Pile of Idiots/Fortune’s Favor/Dumb Luck - You know this one, Muffin. ;P Comprised of a Fireball-Happy Endlessly-Curious sorcerer, an Extra As Shit 4 Elements Monk, the Queen of the Sea herself, The Worlds Best Bard, Smol Druid with Smol Doggo frond, and Beefest Lizard Tank, these idiots try and save the world- or at least get by.

Trees Beneath the Seas - A campaign that got very away from us, and where Moon received most of his character development. It was a huge party, which I think detracted a bit from the potential RP fun, but I got to be RECKLESS. We had Damon Pyre the Half-Elf-Half-Dragon Sorcerer, Durieal Durnam the OP monk that was killed by the weapon he carried, Saneva Amailo the hexblade warlock of Garagos and certified Edgelord Supreme, Quv the gnome-turned-elf rogue that left and whose player came back with Rue the Pumpkin Queen the human druid, Amaya Arissius the wood-elf Horizon Walker Ranger (who died and was reincarnated as a human), Verath the Dragonborn bard, Persephone O’Dougal the Canim forge cleric, Braugen Rowcron the dwarf barbarian who came back later as Satsuss the yuan-ti artificer, Arlow Rathers the paladin of Illmater and best baker the world has ever seen, Waruk Flamesong the half-orc wizard/cleric who sank the world, and finally Sliver of Moon who robbed, lied, and smooth-talked his way into and out of worlds of trouble as a swashbuckling rogue-fighter-paladin-sorcerer (we got to lvl 30 shit got WEIRD).

Harder Than We Thought - Thrush’s game! We played on the continent of Sivaan- slowly coming under siege by a power called The Parody that wanted to make the whole world just a liiiiiiiittle more interesting. Evelynn Mercado (Parsippany Olapieros) the half-elf blade-bard with ten tons of swagger in a ten ounce body who was looking for her father and making her own name in the world, Thrush Marigold the endlessly sunny sun-soul monk who was learning about his tiefling heritage while looking for his mother, Sir Tim the Halfling Hero For Hire Paladin who was making his tiefling lover and his son proud, Dune the bloodhunter with a Big Problem with hags, ‘The’ Wothe the more traditional halfling bard who was potentially about to be Thrush’s uncle by marriage, Perryn the Air Genasi Beastmaster Ranger and prankmaster general, and a dragonborn sorcerer I cannot recall the name of with terrible eyesight.

Punk! - A portal-fantasy run by our Innestrad DM, with a fantastic set up where he said he had to take a call during our session 0 and walked out. We then all got messages at the table saying he’d been replaced and to not trust him, and when he came back his whole body language was changed and then ‘sucked us into a portal’ via his tome of handbooks he got rebound into one HUGE book. We all played ourselves but better, and it was wild.

Umber Wilds/Aspiring Cryptids - One I’m currently running on mondays! A group of adventurers Doing Their Best. Audhilde Stoneforger is the Eldritch Knight and Battle Goddess who can leap up to 170 feet because I’ve broken my own will. Larken Delmare is the human shadow sorcerer who used to be an elf and came back wrong, she’s got ties to the first lands of Thielle and is dealing with Coming Back Wrong as best she can. Yseult Brighton is a water-genasi grave cleric with both Selune and Shar claiming portions of her soul, she’s been dubbed the World’s Okayest Cleric and is basically a fishbowl made of friendship. Lastly there’s Ekaterina Sheralova, a drow Gloomstaker Ranger with the most flamboyant fashion and cat-like personality whose family is probably going to wind up killing her or trying to.

17. What are some house rules that your group has?

BIG CRITS! You max your primary damage die and then roll the second, so you’re always hitting big when you get that nat 20! I have to beef so much health because of this.

Flanking - Instituted around the In-Person table: when you flank you get a +2 to hit, not advantage. It’s less OP that way.

29. Do you prefer RP heavy sessions or combat sessions?

Usually RP heavy sessions are my favorite thing, but sometimes you just want to hit something. XD I’ve found I really like a healthy dose of both, but I love it when the combat functions to fuel RP, so RP is probs my more favorite kind.

30. Are your players diplomatic or murder hobos?

They’ve trended more diplomatic! I’m grateful for it, and it’s neat seeing what pushes characters into ‘murder’ when they start out with diplomacy.

31. What is your favorite class? Favorite race?

Oh golly, probably Rogue or Paladin for favorite class, but Bard is up there too. I love versatility, and Rogue and Bard are skill monkey classes that are super fun. Paladin’s whole ‘strength from your belief in an ideal’ is also hella fun tho, I like it when paladins draw power from belief not in a god, but in a principle that guides them. Favorite race is harder, I don’t really have a favorite- but I know I dislike playing as Dragonborn, Aarakokra, and Lizardfolk personally. They’re just not for me, I think.

[uneryx]

can you tell us more about the farmgirl cleric? i'm intrigued

Velenya, the world’s okayest cleric who somehow became the world’s last hope against the Far Realm!Sadly the campaign never finished, mostly due to the DM moving away. However, my half-elf cleric of Corellon, Velenya, grew up on a farm between human and elven worlds in a commune of other half-elves. Her dad was a merchant, and her mom and maternal aunts ran their farm. She spent her childhood around horses and playing in the forest and doing homestead chores. A halcyon childhood. But visits to her dad’s mother in the Elven capital exposed her to religion, and she was always enamored with the priests of Corellon - fascinated by stars and magic, she decided that when she grew up she would join them. So when she was the right age, she went with her dad to the human capital to enroll in the temple training program there. Aaaaand... was only ever just average at it. Charming, likeable, but aaaaaaverage.So, when the high priestess was handing out assignments for the newly ordained priests, she sent the better students off to cool assignments, and sent Velenya off to a remote outpost in the North. Some hick had sent a message complaining about cults. Probably just teenagers sacrificing chickens and drawing runes in blood in the ruins againfor funsies, that was normal. She was given a horse and a bodyguard, they bumped into some other weirdos going the same direction, and upon arriving learned that the cult activity was NOT some teenagers drawing pentagrams on barns but an actual, fully blown cult of Orcus that had been operating in secret.Cue the zombies, cue the cultists, cue the celestial agent being all “well you assholes are the only ones who showed up so I GUESS, here’s a shield, you’re gonna need it”And then it turns out the roots of conspiracy go DEEP, she’s super duper wanted by most of the world’s governments, they stole an airship out from under the military’s nose, broke into an ancient vault, the bad guy is some jerk who has been around since the dawn of time and almost killed her (thanks, neato magic dawn-of-time shield), and since she’s the only one who showed up, its up to her to stop the jerk from unleashing the Far Realm upon the world and eating everything.So yeah! Velenya, the World’s Okayest Chosen One. 

[color-in-your-hands]

Can I ask for Tad and Noah for the get to know my characters thing?

Thank you for indulging my endless desire to talk about these two good, good boys who I think about too much and aren’t the protagonists of my fic.

Noah

01. Name: Noah Eli Czerny02. Nickname(s): Eli (but only by his family or at temple), a rotating selection of death/undead/ghost-related names (i.e. Casper, Walking Dead), and also the surnames of various philosophers (Aristotle, Nietzsche, etc).03. Gender: Dead.04. Sexuality: More bisexual than he thought he was, which wasn’t any at all.05. Best Friend: Adele, and Gansey or Ronan, depending on the day and how much of a dick Ronan’s being.06. Relationship Status: In a relationship07: Crush/Significant Other: 70% Blue, 30% Gansey08. Least Favourite Person: Barrington Whelk09. Favourite Food: Apple pączki or cheese babka10. Favourite Place: Muir Woods11. Valued Attributes: His intelligence, his hard-won academic success, and his creativity.12. Dreams: Finishing his PhD and getting tenure; not feeling like a passive participant in his own life and making his parents proud of his accomplishments rather than his resilience; finally, really feeling like himself again for more than a few days at a time; maybe doing the whole grown-up thing and buying a house and getting married and maybe having kids someday, ideally maybe with Blue.13. Nightmares: Reliving his “accident”, waking up in the hospital after a surgery he doesn’t remember the reason for and being unable to communicate his confusion, having his jaw wired shut again, being unable to consume anything but a liquid diet.14. A Secret: Despite his better judgement, he’s unconsciously started looking at rings.15. Best Day: Getting his Bachelor’s only one year late and summa cum laude despite still being hospitalized and recovering from his “accident” for most of the latter half of undergrad.16. Worst Day: The day of his “accident”, each day of his recovery, the day he thought he’d died.17. Favourite Outfit: Pajama pants, and one of Blue’s bathrobes or one of Gansey’s shirts, and mismatched socks.  18. Weapon of Choice: Whatever suits his chosen class best.19. Role in RPG: Whatever party slot needs to be filled, but prefers support roles skewed towards healing/buffing (clerics, bards, or similar classes in tabletop games)20. First Thought in the Morning: “Was that��did I sleep through my alarm?”

Tad

01. Name: Tad James Carruthers02. Nickname(s): Taddy, Tadpole, TJ (by his sister)03. Gender: Trans male04. Sexuality: Gay05. Best Friend: Lacey Carruthers, Logan Rutherford06. Relationship Status: “Painfully, woefully single”07: Crush/Significant Other: Adam Parrish08. Least Favourite Person: Ronan Lynch lol09. Favourite Food: Garlic fries10. Favourite Place: Seattle, Washington11. Valued Attributes: That he passes reasonably well despite not being on T yet, his empathy, his taste in music and clothes, his tennis skill, and his financial security.12. Dreams: That his parents, mostly his mom, will get over her hangups about his being trans and accept and support him unquestioningly; to have Adam look at him just once the way he looks at Ronan, or to just usurp Ronan’s place in Adam’s life completely (either would be fine).13. Nightmares: Being outed in a place that’s unsafe, being rejected for his transness/genitals alone, being trapped in a falling elevator with big spiders, and various instances of body horror.14. A Secret: Sometimes he questions his gender identity because he doesn’t have a lot of dysphoria except for when he wants to sleep with someone.15. Best Day: The day he legally changed his name and didn’t have to have the awkward “I go by Tad and use he/him pronouns” conversation as often anymore.16. Worst Day: Christmas 2015, when he went home as Tad for the first time and his parents Did Not handle it well at all.17. Favourite Outfit: The “World’s Okayest Gay” shirt Lacey got him when he came out to her, a pair of chinos in a fun color, a denim jacket, his yellow Chucks, a scarf, and a beanie.18. Weapon of Choice: Anything, so long as it deals heavy damage at close range: shotguns, warhammers, greataxes, clubs/bats.19. Role in RPG: Tank/meat shield20. First Thought in the Morning: “Noooooo.”

[shrupdedup]

I CAST ZONE OF TRUTH I am probably not experienced enough in sewing, but working on the world's okayest cleric's robes tonight. c: