#YEA ITS A HALF LIFE REFERENCE SORRY I ONLY KNOW ONE THING

[wizard0rb]

kris and noelle discuss critically acclaimed fps game half dead 2, their missing siblings, and obscure human musicians like claude debussy

[nite-shay]

Surprise! (Kirishima Eijirou x Reader)

Funny little idea I had. Reader finds out she is prego and wants to surprise her hubby with the news :)

A/N: Nothing really. Charters are aged up. Female pronouns used. 

Hope you enjoy it and sorry for typos, grammar and spelling errors! :)

************

You were practically floating through your local market store's aisles, humming has you picked up items on your list.

Today was a beautiful day. The birds were singing, the sun was shining, and nothing could ruin your mood.

Not even the grumpy old lady blocking our path, complaining to a stock boy about ketchup prices could bring you down!

Any why might you ask? 

Because today you got the best news in the world.

A few days ago, you went to your local clinic. You'd been feeling rather tired here lately and even a bit nauseous. You honestly thought nothing of it and just figured you had a stomach bug that'd been going around.

Image your surprise when the nurse on the other end of the phone informed you that you were not sick, just pregnant. 

It took a few seconds for the information to process, but the moment it does. Oh boy! You screamed and cried in pure joy to the poor, probably now partially deaf nurse on the other end.

After many thank yous and a few apologies, you practically hung up on the women wanting to call your husband imminently. 

You tried him on his cell and on his desk, but he must have been out on patrol. Meaning you wouldn't hear from him until much much later in the day

Damn. 

That burst your bubble, but that just gave a chance to be... well, creative in your news delivery method. You'd spent the last few hours researching and watching videos in the theme of 'Surprising the father baby announcements.'

And boy, oh boy, did you get some ideas! Too many ideas! But you settled on one method in particular. 

You smiled as you made your way over to the produce section.

Ah-ha! There's an item on your shopping list.

You reached out and grabbed two bags of baby carrots before tossing them into your cart. 

It would be a night your husband would never forget!

Later that night...

Let me start off by saying this. You love your husband. Very very much.

Your husband, Kirishima Eijirou, is the most wonderful man on the planet. He is an amazing and loving husband. He is also an amazing hero. Ranked one of the best in Japan and one of the friendliest.  The man is a literal saint who against all odds befriended Bakugou for goodness sake! You love him more than life itself.

Your husband is a lot of things but currently, you can only think of one way to describe your husband. In the words of the blonde explosive best friend, 'he has rocks for brains'.

Bless your husband's heart some days, he can be denser than his skin in his unbreakable form.

You expected him to overlook some of the food you made, BUT NOT EVERY FUCKING THING!

You made a spread of baby-related foods that could give a buffet restaurant a run for their money. You had it all, baby carrots, baby spinach, baby artichokes, baby corn, baby back ribs, fingerling potatoes, a cornish hen, deviled eggs, popcorn shrimp, you had it all! Hell, you even dropped a 'bun in the oven reference'. Twice! 

But did he see the pattern? 

Nope!

His only response was to stare/drool at the food and said, 'wow hun, if I'd known you be making this much food, I'd have invited Amajiki and Togata over'. Later on, he commented on how Fatgum would be jealous of the amazing food he's going to have for lunch tomorrow'.

While you appreciate the comments on your cooking. You could have strangled at that moment. 

Dense. Very dense.

You chanted in your head while he pigged out, 'I love the father of my child, and I will not beat him over the head with chicken' over and over for most of dinner.

As the night continued, you realized after watching both 'Boss Baby' and 'Storks' that you would have to take drastic measures to get it through his thick skull. 

Tomorrow, you'd bring out the big guns!

Maybe you should get Mina involved…

The next day…

"Hey, Red! Wow, what's with all the food?" Fatgum shouted as he watched the redhead placed another container on the table.

"(Y/N) went overboard last night and made a feast! We had a lot of leftovers, so I brought some of them in. Want some?"

"You bet I do! I love her cooking! You really lucked out!"

"Yeah, I did! I have no idea why she made so much food, but I'm ain't complaining!" He flagged over Amajiki, who just walked into the breakroom. "Hey, Amajiki! Join us!"

"T-thanks…." He shuffled over and eyed the spread of food on the table. "Um… Kirishima… was yesterday a special day or something for the two of you?"

"No, I don't th-WAIT" Kirishima had a moment of panic before checking his phone. "Nope. Our anniversary isn't for another few months, and her birthday was last month." He sighed in relief. "Man, Jiki, you can't do that to me. You bout gave me a heart attack." He took a bite of food. "Why'd ya ask anyways?"

"Well… it's just… this is a lot of food... And very...v-very… specific food that doesn't seem to go together, in a traditional sense…" The quiet man commented.

"What do ya mean?" 

Fatgum took a second look at the food before his eyes went wide. "I-I think I see where you're going with this Sun.." He put down his bowl while his redhead appearance just looked cluelessly between the two. "So Red, what happened last night?"

"Nothing really. I came home, and she made this awesome food, we ate, watched a few movies and then went to bed." He shrugged his shoulders.

"Did she say anything about her day, or did she seem like she wanted to talk to you about something?"

"No. I mean, she said she had an awesome day but didn't really say what was so awesome about it. She looked great! Like… I don't know, she just… had this.. glow? Yeah, that's the word. She just seemed to be glowing! I mean, I'm not saying she wasn't attractive before! She's drop-dead gorgeous, but I don't know, here recently she's just been…. Wow…" Kirishima's features softened as he thought of his wife while Fat and Amajiki looked at each other. The older man's eyes lit up while the younger dark hair man gave a half-smile. 

"H-has she been feeling ok?" Amajiki pressed.

"Yea-" He paused for a moment. "Well, she did say she wasn't feeling too good the other day and that she went to the doctor... She didn't say what they said, though.." He crossed his arms while he thought back. "Now that I think about it, she really didn't eat much last night, and I could have sworn I heard her throwing up this morning... But she  just brushed it off when I asked about it…"

"Did she say what she thought was w-wrong?"

"No, she didn't. I even asked her if she wanted me to stay home with her today, but she said she'd be fine. She did promise me she'd take it easy." He almost jumped up. "You guys don't think she's getting sick, do you? I know there's been a stomach bug going around…"

"Oh, it sounds like she got bitten by a bug, alright!" Fat couldn't keep it in any longer as he gave the redhead a wide smile.

"Seriously? What do we do? Wouldn't the doctors have found out if she did? Do you think it was poisonous?!?!" Kirishima jumped up like he was ready to take off back home to tend to his 'sick' wife.

"Easy Red." Fat roared with laughter. "She'll be fine, but she's going to be feeling the effects of this for the next…. I'd say nine-ish months…."

"Huh?" 

"Kirishima, I think you r-really need to go home and talk to your wife…" Amajiki interjected while Fat wiped the tears from his eyes, trying to control his laughter. Which he was failing at btw. 

"Come on, guys! I'm freaking out here! Is (Y/N) ok?" The hero pleased with them trying to get a straight answer.

"Eijirou?" Every head in the room twisted in your direction as you stood in the doorway. 

"(Y/N)! You're here! Are you ok? You haven't seen any weird spiders or anything around, right?" Kirishima rushed over to you as you made your way into the breakroom. You'd heard Fatgum laughing from down the hall and figured your husband was too far away. 

"Spiders? Wait, what?"

"Fatgum thinks you might have been bitten by a bug! How are you feeling? Do you need a doctor?"

"Honey. Sweetie. I'm fine, I've already talked to the doctor." You chuckled as you tried to soothe your frazzled husband. 

"You have? That's great! What did they say?"

"Well…" You trailed off. This wasn't going as planned. Your plan was to visit him in his office and surprise him with the little gift bag in your hand; from there, you hopped, he'd get the picture. The top item was a cute little 'I'm a riot' Red Riot baby onesie you in the merch store down the street. The next was a mini-set of red baby crocs. If he didn't get it at that point across, your last resort was the medical report from the doctor's office, showing that you were, in fact, pregnant. You made sure to highlight it, just to be safe. 

"I'm afraid you're just going to have to be blunt about it (Y/N). He's really not getting it. Congratulations btw the way!" Fatgum was chuckling slightly still as he scratched the back of his head sheepishly.

"S-sorry if we mess anything up…" Amajiki mumbled apologetically.

"Thanks! And don't worry about Amajiki, it's fine! This works out better anyway!" You smiled over at the two before turning your attention back to the love of your life. 

"Congratulations? Wait, what don't I get? Babe, please tell me what's going on". The worry in his eyes nearly broke your heart. 

"Honey" You grabbed his face with both hands and made him look you right in the eyes. "I'm pregnant."

His body stilled, and his eyes were wide. He just stood there staring at you for the longest time; you swear you could almost see the little hamster in his head go flying off its wheel and pinball around his skull.

"Eiji? Did you hear me?" No response. He didn't even seem to be breathing. "I think I might have broken him." You glanced over to the older man in yellow before returning to those crimson orbs.

You were honestly starting to get worried at this point. Was he just shocked? Was he happy... or... did he not want it? Finally, though, he seems to come back to his senses. 

Blink. Blink Blink. Deep breath in. Blink. Blink. Deep breath out.

"Y-Your…..preg...p-pregnant….."

"Yes. I'm pregnant." You choked a little up as it finally seemed to sink into that thick lovable skull of his. However, his expression didn't waver, and you still couldn't tell whether he was happy or not. 

"I'm… going to be a dad?" You could feel him start to tremble beneath your hands.

On no.. he doesn't... 

Your eyes started to water, but you try to keep your smile in place. "Y-yes. You are..".

"I'm going to be a… dad?" It was taking everything you had not to break down then and there

But then.. it happened. 

You watched as his face lit up with the biggest grin you had ever seen. His eyes glistened with tears until they streamed down his cheeks. "I'M GOING TO BE A DAD!!!!" Your pretty everyone on the whole floor heard his declaration, and before you knew it, you were being dragged into a tight hug and swung around the room. 

For the next hour, the two of you laughed, cried, and went around the ENTIRE building so your husband could tell everyone the news.  Afterward, you showed him your little gifts, and that caused another trip around the building so he could show off the baby items and, much to your embarrassment, the test results. 

Fatgum quickly realized that nothing else on the planet would get the red headed hero to focus on work right now, so he let him have the day off to celebrate.

After a round of visiting and phone calls to friends and family, the two of you were finally home. The moment the two of you were in your home, he pulled you to your bedroom for the most intense cuddle section you had ever had. 

"I'm... going to be a dad…" He whispered while gently rubbing your belly where.

"Yes. Yes, you are." You couldn't help but grin and give him a slow sweet kiss, which he gladly returned. 

"God, I love you so much…"

"I love you too. "

"Promise me one thing…"  Suddenly his gaze narrowed as he looked you in the eyes with a serious expression. 

"Anything…" You shifted, a little nervous in his abrupt mood change.

"If... If.." He swallowed hard. 

"What's wrong, sweetie?" Now you were worried. 

"If I'm ever that stupidly dense again, please, PLEASE, knock some sense into me!" You burst into a fit of laughter while he just pokes his lip out in a pout. "I'm serious! Get someone, anyone to knock me into next week! Tetsu, Bakugou, Hell call Midoriya! After everything I missed, I deserve a Detroit smash upside the head!"

Thanks for the read! If you want see the other stuff I’ve done, click the link bellow!

MasterList

[selfcareparker]

yesss the letter format 💝💓💘💖💞💕💖💞💓 (lovely anon)

my dearest aria (a hamilton reference lmao),

i’m home alone (bc i wanted the house alone to get my head together after my brothers were mean to me 🙃) and i’m so hype LMAO but i’m watching chloe x halle’s tiny desk concert and honestly just vibing. (this is so random) besides zendaya like they are my badass black women role models. my one accomplishment would be to learn to body roll like them LMAO

oh nevermind i can’t have anything nice, my dad just came home 🙃 WHAT A WAY TO START OFF THIS ASK WTFFF

i’m liking tfatws, the second episode was veryyy intense imo but WANDAVISION IS SO GOOD😭 i knew it was going to be my favorite from the really old trailer but it’s really good and i promise it’s not just sitcoms, girl especially cuz you’ll have all the episodes already out- we were having to wait every week😭 BUT ITS SO GOOD I PROMISE HDJSHDJSH lmao reading this i was like “i- the episodes aren’t an hour long” but i feel that, it’s hard for me to watch tfatws bc they are an hour long and i’m like 😐 but wandavision episodes are less than 30mins bc I KID YOU NOT they have the damn 10 MINUTE CREDITS DHDJSJ no i don’t think we’ve talked about this b4 lol but it all depends on the series for me. i binged love island uk in less than a week bc i was so invested and LITERALLY LOVE IT but uh those episodes are like an hour and a half, but say i was binging tfatws (it’s so hard to type that ohmigosh) i honestly would not be able to do it bc of the intensity (you may be like what intensity but if you’ve seen episode 2 by the time you’re reading this.......... isaiah and the scene afterwards is all i have to say, esp me being black it was so tough :/)

girl you’re fine, as long as you’ve experienced it once hahaha i think the reason why it’s so important to my family (this letter feels so personal and extreme HSJSJA IM SORRY) is bc my grandmother loved it and in my family i guess it’s just important to us lol like my mom and dad love it too and we have the literal VHS tapes LMAO, but it only came up recently cuz my youngest brother was watching lion guard HAHA and he wanted to see the originals :) and fun fact (unless you already know) but there’s a lion king part 2 and 1 1/2 and i have all three ON VHS HAHAHA but i love lion king 1 duh (the og) but part two’s music and love story..... is so good. anyway. 🦁

I WAS THINKING THE SAME THING DURING THE WHOLE MOVIE THEATER ENCOUNTER THING HAHAHA AND WHEN SHE WAS SAYING AWKWARD I WAS LIKE WTF THE NOISE LMAOOOO i don’t think there’s a better way to describe that whole situation than ZKDHDJSHAJAJSHDJSNAHA. yeah. yeaaaa at the cinemas (i like the word cinema more than movies 🥰) here they have chips (fries), some have ice cream, nachos, drinks, hot dogs, the cinema we were at had pretzels and like BURGERS I WAS LIKE HUH OKAY and ya know obviously popcorn but i don’t know why the theaters (or cinemas) here do that, it started a long time ago though like yearsssss

PLEASE i have the longest movie watchlist and uhh haven’t seen any of them JDJSKA (istg i use HSJSSKSH as a period - like . ) i’m still hype for cherry but very hesitant (idk if i can handle it) but i’m thinking about watching it in the next couple of weeks? i know it’ll take me forever bc i’m gonna have to keep pausing and shit but idk. i’ve asked around for very specific trigger warnings and time stamps so i REALLY know what’s coming (even if it spoiled the film a bit for me) but i do really wanna see it (i think? writing this now i’m not so sure lol) so whooooooo really knows lol, but chaos walking YES i was really excited about it :))) and about my friend uhh dude you don’t sound mean at all i was literally thinking the same thing but worse HAAKL idk what she was there for???? she bought my ticket tho so 💁🏾‍♀️ whatever

“SIMS ahh, BUNK BEDS ahh” had me cracking up lmao and you know my sims status JAJAHHAJ but i’m gonna become like you, saving every 5 minutes 😭 but that’s exactly what happened to me, i really didn’t know whether to shut it off or not but after 2 hours i was heartbroken lol i’m literally making a list of things i need to redo that wasn’t saved lmao

CAN I JUST SAY UR A MASTERMIND THOUGH??? UR SIMS GAME SOUNDS SO *chefs kiss* IM CRINE university is PAINFULLY long and LITERALLY I FEEEL THAT like you can’t do anything else without failing, i had my sim go to a party once for like a few hours and i felt so dumb afterwards like urgh he should’ve been studying LMAOO just cracking down on work honestly. UR NEIGHBOR!AU IN THE SIMS PLEASEEE i am very much in love with it, yes. (pouring rain has just suddenly begun where i am rn wow ok) i love that you put them on the same lot, that was really really smart and i love that ur living out your sexuality in the sims😭 i was abt to say “now you can say you’ve got experience bc of the sims” but ANYWAY IGNORE ME fhdhs THE ALIEN BABY DHSJSK i hope it’s not a dealbreaker for enisa. that’d be tragic. IM BACK IN UPPERCASE THO BC YES MAKING OUT IN THE SIMS IS SO HOT TO ME??? I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE STFU OH MY GOSH- all the stuff, whispering sweet nothings, and the making out, and JUST ALL OF IT!!! AM I TOUCH STARVED????? there was this time i made my sim just continue to woohoo bc it was turning me on big time. ANYWAY

half way through that i had to go to my grandmothers house (not the one that likes lion king, but uh hmm idk if you remember but i was talking abt my shit family so yeah that grandmother lol) so now i’m finishing this 🥴 and instead of chloe x halle i’m watching a tom interview lmao & if this takes me longer than 30 minutes.... imma cry

I REALLY WANNA ASK- IS IT BC UR GERMAN LIKE YOU CAN JUST WRITE OUT THAT LONG ASS WORD???? i mean i can’t write out supercalafrag- anyway, but that word is a bit nonsense, UR WORD IS A REAL WORD DUDE HDJSHS i love how ur like “maybe i mixed up these words” YEA OK.

lol i had to google what are waveformers lol (lol makes a comeback) and they look like curlers that you would sleep in (here we would call them curlers or uhm i forgot uhhhhhhh rollers i think) but ur fine when am i ever making sense?? i think the best part about these is the chaos yet we understand what the other means 😌

H20 H20 H20 OH MY GOODNESS SHE BROUGHT UP H20 OK MY LIFE WAS H20🥲 I HAVE THEIR LOCKET NECKLACE AND (short storytime) when i was younger i thought they were american despite their accents (idk i was dumb) but then i figured they weren’t when lewis went to go study in america HAHAH ALSO FAVORITE COUPLE CLEO AND LEWIS UGH WATCH ME REWATCH THE SHOW NOW THANKS (also i hated elizabeth so much) but anyway back on topic, when lewis went to go study in the US i looked up where the show took place and all that good stuff and i found out they were australian HAHAH and that started my obsession with accents LMAO the uk :’)) (i’m proofreading AND AUSTRALIA IS NOT A PART OF THE UK LMAOO IM SOO DHSJSSHS) also it is now one of my many goals (besides the body roll HAHAH) to go to mako island (that’s what it’s called right??)

about music, i googled stormzy and i might listen to a song of his.. LOL I WANNA GIVE IT A TRY IMMA DO IT FOR YOU NFDVSFSG lmaoo the german rapper had me cackling (autocorrect once again being helpful and said raper and i’m like nOO) i mean we all have that one person. can’t lie, won’t lie. my one (IM SORRY BUT AUTOCORRECT HAD “MY ONE TRUE ACCOMPLISHMENT” SITTING AND READY HDJSJA I DONT EVEN TYPE THAT wHAT) person out of my white soft boy with brown hair and brown eyes type would beeeee pete davidson. love me some petey. i was gonna say rex orange county as well lmao but i don’t really loveeee him i’m just in love with his music... and wanna be friends with him..... so 👉🏾👈🏾 (i never do that fdshsh)

oh my goodness, i love tattoos too- GASP what are you thinking of getting 🥺 i want tattoos too but i’m too indecisive to figure out what to have & where. especially in my family... idk they aren’t frowned upon but my mom’s not applauding the thought lol, if i got one it would have to be meaningful but i am absolutely in love with (for example) ariana grande’s finger tattoos !! they’re so cute and simple :’) i don’t even know if i can get tattoos? my skin is... interesting. not in a bad way!! just like.... idk how to explain it??? keyloids run in the family & i got a piercing once and it got infected soo :/ the doctor also confirmed that if i wanted tattoos they couldn’t be in color so LMAO

ONCE AGAIN THIS WHOLE THING FEELS SO TMI DHSHSSJ IM LIKE OHMIGOSH SHUT UP SHE DOESNT CARE JESJSKS

in regards to you not sleeping, i wanted to mention that dumb bird, what was the reason it was up so early aT 4AM???? SIR WHO YOU CALLING TO??? also it’s 11:30pm and idk why i’m tired???

yeah i was never SUPER into justin so i don’t know exactly what albums you’re talking about lol, i do know yummy though.. but everyone did hahaha also i listen to so much pop 🙈 i mean maybe... idk what would count as pop and what wouldn’t. that new person feeling though.. i get that. it’s like who is this new person..? i kinda feel like that with taylor swift (i was never THAT into her either though so it’s like oh wait i didn’t know you from the beginning instead of hello old friend but you’re different lol)

about the concerts, thanks 🥰🥰 that’s so sweet what you did for your mom too, it’s nice seeing them so happy like 🥲 awh AND GLEE IS AND WAS MY LIFE FOR A V V LONG TIME, i’ve been meaning to rewatch it for the longest time lmaooo but i’m just so lazy and it’s such a commitment... i’ll have to get emotionally involved again and idk if i want that rn. but i have a friend on instagram and she runs a glee fan account and it’s such a big part of her life i really don’t think i could ever be THAT obsessed with something. like another one of my friends loves tom holland so much that she changed her mom’s name in her phone to what tom’s mom’s name is in his phone (that was confusing lol) and obviously i’m not judging them AT ALL, it just couldn’t be me lol

CONCERTS LOOK LIKE SO MUCH FUN 😩😩 LIKE THE EXPERIENCE AND THE FEELINGGG URGHSJS i wanna see a few people live like ari and chloe x halle and- hmm.... idk who else FJDSJ rex orange county i guess huh anyway, the experience just sounds so amazing and the atmosphere is just ✨✨✨ yeah

aria do it do it do it do it do it- watch hamilton!! but with subtitles bc you won’t catch half of the things they’re saying without them LMAO (me and my family watched it and they all didn’t like it bc they didn’t know what was happening lol) BUT DONT WATCH IT AT 4AM LMAO ITS LITERALLY 3 HOURS LONG

yes!! superior peter fics 🥺🥺🥺🥺 and it just shows how much of an incredible writer AND PERSON you are through your fics that you can turn a blurb into 2k....... like what.

LMAO the annoying thing, sometimes i feel like i’m bothering people (like right now HAHAH) but i think it’s my antisocial side being like yeaa no one wants to talk to you like you wanna talk to them :’) idk it’s strange!! sometimes i get really ✨insecure✨ and overthink everything LOL like is this too long, im talking too much, i’m swearing too much, oh lord i’m a pain, all that good shit lmao so that’s fun:))

ALSO YOUR BLOG IS SO FUN TO ME HAHAK LIKE ITS JUST YOUR OWN AND I LOVE THAT!!! like you talk about everything and anything on here lol,, and i say that bc what you said lmao how if i was someone else i would want to fuck me so bad😭 i honestly don’t understand how i don’t have people lining up though..... but if no one’s gonna tell you... then you tell yourself, period (and sometimes telling yourself is fucking yourself HSHAJKS OK NEXT)

ohmigosh the realization you had that you graduated last year and are going to uni this year🤧 but the fact that you had a teacher who LEFT THE GROUP CHAT bc she was mad at y’all i- 😭 but yeah about your maths (i always wondered why you guys call it maths and the US calls it math. like i know so many people out of the states, not just in the uk that say maths) teacher- i saw this post that said online school is looking a lot like dora the explorer😭😭 “you have any questions?” 🦗 “okay bye then” lmao and please i love when tests have nothing to do with what you studied like ??? thanks? sometimes i get scared that my teacher will somehow find out that i googled everything? or like my answer is too close to the answer sheet or something. i get sooo nervous lol but i’m already past that point of not being able to do anything myself DHJS i mean i’m still learning like i said!! read the question, read the answer. boom. now i know the answer to the question and i learned!

THANKS 🙈🥰🤧 idk how else to explain my feelings LMAO i feel it’s cool that you find my dance lessons and voice lessons cool so thanks :’)

oh god not headache season 😭😭 allergies are the worst like it’s not even funny. is headache season just when the seasons are changing or is it like... all throughout the summer? cuz i love the summer lmaoo i love the winter too but i just love wearing as little clothes as possible LMAO

GIRL IF THAT BIRD DONT STOP CHIRPING- i am 100% convinced that it is the same bird trying to give you headaches and no sleep and it needs to stfu 😤 and pLEASE ur theme is adorable and pretty and cute but also it just feels like you? idk if i’m explaining this right or if it’s bc i’ve been talking to you for a bit but it’s cute but not innocent in a way that i’m surprised that you write smut and- yeah, that didn’t make sense!! but ur new theme is gonna look pretty too and as long as you like it, it’ll be amazing🥰

yessssss the fact that megan is gonna be ur pfp YES JUST YES

edit: ok i just need to 🥺😭 sometimes u make me wanna cry cuz i feel like you’re just a kind person. i truly mean this, the fact that you celebrate yours & others stretch marks makes me so 🥺🥺🥺 i honestly don’t know anyone who has said they want need more stretch marks and it’s just all very lovely to me :’)) OKAY IMMA STOP BEING SAPPY

#yes my fake tags are back #by popular demand #aka me #and look i have actual tags this time! #i’m seriously craving water ice rn....... huh #but it’s past midnight and i fr fr want a snack #aw man #i wrote that last paragraph while doing my tags yes #and i hope you become responsible for that anon’s orgasm #assuming they had one #and i saw your response to the tom thing and yeaa when they only look like that for something and it’s like aw bae be yourself #i’m gonna shut up now and find a snack but goodnight!! morning?? IDK #IF THESE TAGS END UP AS ACTUAL TAGS I AM SO SORRY HAHAHA #alright proofreading done and i’m gonna go eat cereal

okay i‘m on my way to a driving lesson rn and afterwards i have a zoom uni thing, and then another uni thing lmao. but hopefully i can reply to this in between because i‘ve been dying to talk to you since i got this ask dldjds💘💘💘 (i really like this heart. i had a 💖 phase for a while and now it‘s 💘 (seems like a very romantic heart but.... it is what it is idk dkddj)

^okay that was literally all i wrote before my lesson lmfao. just had the worst driving lesson ever dbdvsnylkxsksj i think i‘ve gotten too used to being good at driving and now i‘ve gotten too cocky with it 🥴 anyway i‘ve had such a stressful day and overall week but tbh i‘m already feeling better bc i can (indirectly) talk to you <333

omg i went to chloe or halle (i don‘t remember who out of the two)‘s instagram the other day and found out that they are not twins alejeleksjsksj but yes oh my god their voices are literally angelic and i can‘t wait to see Halle as Ariel (Arielle??)🥰 and omg it‘s literally 2021 and we‘ve only had......... one(?) black Disney Princess like it‘s about fucking time (I might be forgetting someone, I‘m not too familiar with the new Disney films, but as far as I remember there‘s only Tiana right? (who is literally a frog for 3/4 of the film 😭😭) so yes i‘m here for it too😌😌😌 (obviously she‘s not a cartoon like tiana ekdlek but she‘s a disney princess you know what i mean ddkjdh)

pfkejdj i‘m already overwhelmed with my parents i can‘t imagine having siblings too 😭😭 (sometimes i wish i had siblings but then other times (like after reading what you wrote dksjj) i‘m glad that i‘m an only child lmao like your brothers being mean to you and i remember when you cried and he was just like 👁👄👁 ok. like i’m totally okay being an only child sksjsj———and he doesn‘t listen to music 🤧🤧🤧 (although i guess that‘s good for you because at least he can‘t annoy you by listening to loud music that you hate dmdn)

okay okay i might watch wandavision then??? I‘ll definitely let you know!!! and yes omg i‘m loving tfatws (that really is so fucking hard to type omg) but same i totally get what you mean, i‘m not used to watching action series at all and every episode so far has been like a little movie so i‘m glad that i didn‘t wait until it was all out cause there’s no way i could binge watch that lol) and yes last episode was really intense. i‘m glad that marvel are talking about racism because (from what i‘ve seen) they haven‘t been the best in that department, and i‘m really curious to see what they‘ll do in the next episodes (curious isn‘t the right word but excited isn‘t the right wort either, like i‘m excited but in a neutral way ? i‘ll shut up dslsksj i hate that german has so many words that you cant translate because theres a really good german word that describes how i’m feeling but i cant think of a good translation ugh)

okay i absolutely need to watch lion king (and part 2 and 1/ 1/2 dksksj) AND hamilton, i might even do it soon 👀

BURGERS AT THE CINEMA? EBEEISNDBEKSK i‘ll come to the US just to go and watch a movie lmaooo, i think all the popcorn sizes and drinks are bigger as well, i‘ll come and watch chaos walking with you 😌😌 does next week work?

and yeah i‘ve seen posts with specific time stamps and trigger warning for cherry too so if you haven’t looked on tumblr yet i’ve def seen some! (but ive also seen some on twitter and yeah- i mean idk youve probably looked on tumblr but yeah- then there’s also imdb which doesn’t have time stamps i believe but quite specific warnings, mostly without spoilers!)

Tbh i don‘t think i would have even considered watching cherry if tom wasn‘t in it... (i’m personally fine with most of the triggering topics/things like for some reason i’m just stoic when i’m watching the most tragic films ever dldldldlbut the plot just... idk if it‘s for me you know? just entertainment wise?).... and even with tom in it i‘m unsure skeldls, i‘d totally get if you decide not to watch it but let me know if you do i‘d want to hear your thoughts! <3

SKSLSJJ my sims both finally graduated!! i think i played sometime last week, and i literally got the achievement/notification that i‘d been playing with this household for 24hours.... and that was BEFORE they graduated dldjdldkdksjjs

oh no my tumblr broke and three paragraphs of me talking about sims were deleted 😭😭😭

WAIT NO I TOOK SCREENSHOTSSKSK because i couldn’t press save so i knew they might be gone okay okay okay i‘m a genius

*move out

oh no idk if the quality is too bad to read... idk how good your eyes are dkdkdjjd (also sometimes it will be really bad quality for some but not for others so i hope that the you can see the pics in a normal/good quality)

Okay let me continue

OMG THE ROMANTIC AND SEXUAL STUFF IS THE BEST PART ABOUT THE SIMS DIDLDKJIkdkj i kind of miss how in the sims 3 they would be making out basically lying on top of each other if they were on a bed— but in sims 4 when they‘re sitting next to each other and everything that‘s definitely hot too 😌😭 or with hot tubs dkdkdk how one sim climbs on the other sim‘s lap before they woohoo (i used to make them skinny dip in the hot tub and then make out and woohoo so they’re like naked on top of each other even if you can‘t see anything- en e waysss)

Dkdkdkdj so @ Rindfleischet.. blah bla. so it‘s basically just loads of individual words put together/connected and that‘s a really big part of german. so yesterday i had an online Einführungsveranstaltung for uni (like it was a zoom meeting where they just talked about general stuff about the uni and i was really anxious before, idk why, but it turned out absolutely fine so) and that words consists of the two words Einführung (introduction) and Veranstaltung (event) which are also two individual words but you can make a new word (Einführungsveranstaltung, so in english that‘s basically “introduction event“ lmao) by combining those two words. there are obviously some rules like you can‘t just combine random words in a random order but you can basically make infinite words (technically). for example (i feel like i‘m teaching a class just skip this if you don’t care 🙃🙃🙃djdjdkdlns)

for example i could say Einführungsveranstaltungsteilnehmer (which is not underlined with red by tumblr because it is a grammatically correct compound word (i think that‘s what they‘re called?)) which is the words introduction + event + participant, so that word just means “participant of an introductory event“ but instead it‘s one word? i hope that makes sense? dkdkkdksks i mean it makes sense in german but idk if it makes sense to you cause idk if i‘m explaining it very well lmao,

(I just deleted a really really long paragraph that i wrote about gender in the german language and grammar, you‘re welcome slsksksj)

my capacity to think has now been used up for the week 🥴🥴🥴 i absolutely do not blame you if you just skipped over that part or can‘t be bothered to (re)read my awful explanation edkflsksjdjdj (again, i had double the amount of words but i just deleted it dkdkdlslsl but what‘s left lf my german lesson is probably confusing enough already😭i‘m sorry🥴)

so to answer your question LEJDKSKJ: it‘s really common to have long words in german, words that are just word+ word+ word + word made into one long word. obv rindfleischetikettierung..... is a very extreme example and it‘s normally just 2-4 words made into one! So yup i think that comes mostly from german and talking german and growing up here and going to school here and everything dmdfnsksx

i think the best part about these is the chaos yet we understand what the other means 😌— YES. YES. Yes. I love that about us 😌😌🥰🥰/ I love us. Yes.

okay but your friend changing her mom‘s name into tom‘s mum‘s name (was that right? Dkdkdjh)—— so Justin Bieber once posted something where you could see that his Dad‘s number was saved as „Daddy Cakes“ (which, thinking back, sounds very weird ekejjej) and till this day I have my Dad’s contact name as Tata (which is serbian for Dad lmao), “Tata🍰“ in my phone because of it 😭😭😭😭🙃🙃🙃 it‘s not because of justin anymore like i‘ve just gotten used to it by now but at first i did it because of justin lol........ but nowadays i don‘t think i‘m THAT type of fan of anyone- like you know how people have fandom names (Justin‘s fans are the Beliebers, One Direction fans are Directioners (writing that hurt my soul💔💔💔)) and I wouldn‘t consider myself a fan of anyone like that. like even with tom i wouldn‘t call myself........ does tom even have a name for his fans??? Well if he does, I wouldn‘t call myself that. Like i used to be such a hardcore stan for any celebrity that i liked and now it‘s just... okay, i like em. (She says on her blog where she writes fan fiction about Tom Holland — WJDJEJDKELSKSKKSNSNDXB🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃)

Omg rex orange county!!!!!! I don‘t know that many songs like I‘ve only listened to the album pony, but i love it 💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘

thanks again for what you said about my fics/writing I‘m🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

Pete Davidson Pete Davidson Pete Davidson I‘m-🥰🥰🥰🥰 and I can‘t explain why. But as blissfulparker said the other day (i don‘t want to tag her and make her read through all of this lolll) “I like my men when they look like they are on the brink of death 😍“ (or something along the lines of that) eskkejs okay pete isn‘t that bad, he looks quite good on some days but other days you‘re like... is this man alive? Like i don‘t want to be mean I love Pete so much The King of Staten Island is literally my favourite film ever (although it‘s not my #1 because of how he looks, but i mean he does look good) VUT ALSO

(Okay i was gonna look for a terrible picture of him but he really doesn‘t look as bad as people say??? like. i think he‘s hot. can‘t necessarily explain why. so that‘s that on that.)

i‘m not going chronologically right now (i just keep scrolling up to your ask and replying to whatever i see first sksksksh) so i might miss a thing or two that you said

Okay Stormzy, you really really don‘t have to dkdkdjd like i think you said you don‘t really listen to rap, and uk rap is a whole nother thing from us rap because of the accent i feel like??? (That sentence did not make sense) BUT if you‘re looking for a few songs that aren‘t like RAP rap, then I‘d recommend One Second (feat HER), Superheroes, Own it (which you might know?), ummm maybe the song Lessons?, he has a ton of Lion King references by the way dkdjdj for example in Rachael‘s Little Brother but that‘s like more RAP again if you know what I mean?😭 and it‘s also like 5 Minutes long and tbh i only started liking that song a year after that album came out lmao but Rachael‘s Little Brother is possibly my fav Stormzy song, then there is Shut Up which you absolutely need to listen to just for fun dldjdjd like it‘s just pure fun and also a little funny lmao, especially if you‘re not British (i imagine so at least) cause he‘s like shuTTTT up idk dldkdjdldkjdhdhfjfbfldlsksksks

Vossi Bop is one of his classics, and then maybeee - ok so there‘s Blinded By Your Grace Pt. 2 lmaoobdjsj it‘s very (Christian/) religious but i like it a lot even though i‘m not really Christian (at least not practicing or anything) so idk about your views on religion but i do like the song a lot just by like the sound lmao

Okay so again you absolutely DO NOT have to listen to any, especially not for me dlskdj but I really do recommend the songs Superheroes, One Second and Rachael‘s Little Brother (and all the other ones i mentioned but if you don‘t listen to a lot of his songs you should at least give these three a try <3333) also let me know some of your songs? 🥺 like i dont care who they‘re by but i‘d love to listen to some that you like and Recommend 🥰🥰🥰

Okay so skdjdjdjddhhddhdhjsk... I used to watch all of my series in German (like H2O) bc obviously they were on german tv so they were german- and i knew that most of these actors i saw on tv were american and i was always SO fascinated that they all learned german for this show??? Like I actually thought they were the people‘s real voices and that these English and American actors were learning german so they could re-record the whole ass show and do everything in german dkdkdldjdjjd... i swear I thought that until I was like 14 omg. And then the first time that I watched H2O in the original version i was sooo confused about their accents because to me all actors who spoke english were American?? I mean MOST of those shows are American so I wasn‘t completely off but yeah i was definitely caught off guard when I heard all of their Australian accents for the first time 💀💀😭😭😭

@ math vs maths, math actually makes more sense in my opinion. like you have the word mathematics, then the abbreviation would obviously be math... why would English people randomly add the s from the end??? Or maybe it makes more sense after all because it‘s like plural??? Now I‘m unsure dkdkdkdj but i do say maths because that‘s how i was taught to say it and i hear the word maths more than math but yeah dldkdjs i think math might even make more sense (okay i just tried saying math and maths is easier to pronounce but again tjat might just be me, oh god i‘ll stop talking about that disgusting thing (mathematics).)

not the crickets and dora LMAOOOSNSNSMDNBS yeah that teacher was... a lot. a lot a lot a lot didjjd but she kinda liked me so she always gave me good grades/marks but the people she didn‘t like..... ooft. OOF.

Fksksjsj idek about headache season like i just know that i get headaches from the sun and i‘m allergic to only one.. type of...pollen??? (I don’t understand the science of that whole pollen thing and idek if it’s called pollen in english i just know sex pollen from fan fics😔)and yeah we have this weird wind that makes a lot of people get headaches yeahd dkdkdj. i loved the i just love wearing as little clothes as possible LMAO lllioool i love that i really do. i always struggle so much in the summer cause i never have anything to wear. i feel like i buy so many new summer clothes every year but when i end up looking for an outfit i don‘t ever find anything 😭 (so i just go naked— lmao jk jk) but i‘m generally not the biggest fan of summer so-

OMG THIS FUCKING BIRD ISTG, okay the first time i heard it i went to sleep at like 5 am, so the next day i was like let me go to bed earlier so the bird doesn‘t keep me up, so i went to bed at 4 am (🥲) and THE BIRD JUST STARTED FUCKING CHIRPING SO LOUDLY, so the next day i went to bed at 3 am AND IT FUCKING STARTED AT 3 AM and it‘s still there 😁 every. night.

and since you said you‘ve gotten used to my theme and everything (idk where this transition came from😭) so tomorrow (2nd april) we have our... wait what‘s an anniversary but for a month.? I think month is like mensus in latin OK NO THATS DEF WRONG DKDKDJ wait

So Tomorrow is our... mensiversary💘💘💘💘💘💘 or at least from the first time you sent an ask. i couldn‘t find it on my tumblr anymore because tumblr is a bit of a bitch but i remember the first thing you ever sent (in an ask) was something lovely about my writing and i always take screenshots of stuff like that, and i found it in my gallery. and i took that screenshot of your ask on the 2nd of march so i‘m assuming that‘s when you sent it 🥰🥰 i feel like i‘ve known you for a week not a month like how is it a month already????? (i mean this in a good way lmao but i really can’t believe that its been a month wtf)

omg no you make me want to cry because i just love you so much 😭😭🥺 but about the stretch mark thing it‘s just.. it‘s not even me trying to empower other women (or anyone else who has stretch marks) to shake off these dumb insecurities that the patriarchy and capitalism have instilled in us— ok no it‘s definitely that too lmao. But i mean I‘ve always loved stretch marks, i‘ve just always loved loved loved them so much so it makes me genuinely sad that people don‘t like them. so yeah. i dont really know how to explain it lol, like i‘m not (only) hoping that people realise that hating your stretch marks is giving the men and the patriarchy what they want per se- (that made no sense) it‘s just because i love stretch marks and think they‘re beautiful and also sexy. idk dldkdjls and omg the fact that you called me kind 🥺🥺🥺 like i don‘t really have a goal in life or anything, but if i had to choose a ‘goal‘ in life it would just be to be kind. (i‘ll end this here otherwise i‘m gonna talk about being kind for 30 more lines—)

And please. Do not ever feel like you‘re annoying me or sending too much. never ever ever. I get so happy when i see that you‘ve sent me an ask. No matter if it‘s a long one like this or just a short one where you‘re saying something about a post that i reblogged or something. I love hearing from/about you and talking to you 💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘

P.S: i‘m so sorry for the tags you‘re about to read they make even less sense than this post, also i reached the tag limit dkdkdj but i said some butterfly tattoos look tacky... and the next thing i said was since we‘re already speaking about Ariana- I DID NOT MEAN THAT SHE WAS TACKY dldkdjsj, i meant since you already mentioned some of her tattoos lmao

[one-abuse-survivor]

hi, it's the milky way again

it's been a while since i've dropped something in your mailbox

i've now finished the school year and the grades and reports are coming in tomorrow or the day after. i'm kinda scared of them because i know they dropped a lot since last year but i'm pretty sure i passed most if not all of my courses so i think it'll be fine.

i started working a summer job a week ago and i'll be working the next week too. it's mostly because i need the money so i can replace my broken phone but also because we had to do some kind of job/workplace experience thing because of our school (that was voluntary though because of covid). the job pays really well so i might also get a new binder with the money since the one i have now is falling apart. on the other hand, working 8 hours a day for five days straight has really taken all of my energy and i can't listen to music while working which makes it a lot harder. the last week i've mostly been coming home in the evening, maybe eating something and going straight to bed.

(also i got my period last thursday and i hate hate hate it so much it makes everything so much worse even without the dysphoria it's just so messy and annoying to deal with)

a week ago i finally jumped over my shadow and talked to my mom but it was a huge disappointment. i'm pretty sure i couldn't get my point across in a way she'd understand and she kinda just admitted not being able to help after saying a bunch of things that really hurt. i removed myself from the situation by "going to bed" aka going to my room, locking my door and crying myself to sleep. i was just really pissed off and talking to her was kinda my last resort for when i realized i couldn't help myself anymore.

anyway, the day after that was monday (when i started working) and me, running on barely any sleep because the night before was a disaster, had to somehow survive work and i'm pretty sure i ignored or snapped at a lot of people that day which i feel kinda bad for.

on wednesday after work i talked to my mom again because i was pissed off and couldn't let it sit. she said the same kind of bs she had used on sunday and we got nowhere, since then i've probably been a lot less friendly to her but i'm just not ready to give up so much energy for her.

her favorite arguments we're things like "but others have it a lot worse" (which is a mindset i've worked on getting away from for quite a while) (also my mom was referring only to my grades with this but little does she know that the only reason why my grades aren't dropping that badly is because no matter how bad i got mentally, i yeeted stuff like self-care before school because school had always been structured and mostly clear while life in general was just. not.)

other arguments she used were "just get off your phone and set a timer for 45 minutes and concentrate on what you wanna get done" and "just pull yourself together, it's not that hard" (those were about me saying that i struggle with starting tasks and getting shit done)

lastly she also said that my expectations are just way too high and that if i didn't expect only the best from myself (this was about grades too) i wouldn't get so disappointed if i didn't get that great grade i was hoping for. and like, she's not wrong but if you've only ever been good at one thing in your entire life and you were really good at it, then you'd just expect nothing but the best from yourself because you know reaching that isn't impossible.

and she ended it with "what do you expect me to do?" and "i can't help you" and i realized later that i just should've said that she should help me get someone that *can* help me, like a therapist or something.

anyway, i'm proud of myself for finding a summer job and finally talking to my mom and not so proud of my grades and the fact that i can't seem to get the point across to my mom

thank you for creating this safe space for people like us, i wish you a happier time than the one i'm having :')

milky way here :|

got the reports and grades and stuff yesterday and i'm just :| about it. like, yea i know i'm still somewhere at the top of the class and that i'm more than one and a half grades better than some others in my class but i'm still upset about my grade in maths for example but my parents laughed/chuckled at me when i was upset and that really hurt

and afterwards my mom said something along the lines of "yes you're allowed to be stressed but because of your good grades you don't have the right to complain about being stressed" which is absolute bs and i still don't understand how having good grades disqualifies one from complaining and i'm sure as hell not gonna ask her

i just wanna scream in her face but i'm pretty sure she'd slap me if i did that

i'm almost done with my summer job and since monday noon i had the chance to work in a different part of the factory which is a lot less uncomfy to be in because it has AC and since it's not in the lab itself, i don't have to wear a hair net, an overall, steel-toed boots and rubber gloves.

today i set myself a few goals for the summer break and for the next school year and i really hope i can get through with those because it'd make future-me extremely happy

have a great great time :D

and PS: since tumblr has been eating a lot of notifs lately i missed a lot of your posts and i tried filtering by the milky way anon tag but only one post showed up. i'm not sure what's up with that tho

Hi again! Don’t worry, I got you. Here’s a link to all the asks you’ve sent up to this point: first, second, third. All of them are tagged, but the tumblr search engine isn’t exactly known for its accuracy. I use the tumblr original post finder site for this stuff, but I just realised by looking for your asks that the site takes capital letters into account, so the ones that were tagged with a capital M in Milky weren’t showing. They all do show now that I changed the M to lowercase. So I’ll have to try to be more consistent with that from now on 😅

On to your asks. First off, congrats on finishing your course! And I really hope you can replace your phone and your binder :D sorry about getting your period, though, that really sucks :(

I think the conversation with your mom that Sunday is the one discussed on the third ask I linked. I'm really sorry the same thing happened on Wednesday. It's not your fault you can't get across to her—she's the one who should be open to helping you and offering possible (actual) solutions to the problems you're bringing up to her, and not you who should spell out every single thing she can do to help you. You're not being unclear to her—she's being obtuse and refusing to listen.

You're not meant to know how to just "pull yourself together", and you're absolutely right that your grades not dropping all the way doesn't mean you're not struggling, and you still deserve help so you don't have to jeopardise your mental health for your grades. And while she's right you don't deserve to be so hard on yourself or to expect perfection from yourself, that's also something that you deserve professional help with. Again, you're not meant to know how to just turn off those emotions and thought processes.

*hugs* sorry your math grade wasn't as high as you'd hoped. It's okay to be upset and disappointed by that, and I'm so sorry they laughed at you. You do have every right to express your emotions, and you're not being unfair to anyone else for being unhappy with your own grades. I often feel the same! I get really good grades (as I think I've already said), and I also often feel disappointed when a grade isn't as high as I'd hoped. There's nothing wrong with feeling that way. I'm really glad you know what your mom says is bs, because it really is. It's no wonder you feel like screaming in her face—she sounds incredibly frustrating, exhausting and invalidating to deal with. You deserve so much better than this 😔

I'm so glad you're proud of yourself! I'm really proud of you too for everything you've accomplished despite her being so unhelpful and invalidating, and I really hope you're enjoying the rest of your summer holidays and you can reach your goals! And if the occasion arises and you do end up using the "you can help me find someone who can help me" line, I hope it goes better. But if not, again, please know this is an issue of her refusing to listen, and not of you being unclear about what you need.

Sending a huge virtual hug ❤️

[marshmallowprotection]

Sooo. I decided to draw V's sister from that ask I made yesterday and this is how far I've gotten with it (so yea its unfinished if you couldn't tell).

I gave her her father's eyes and mother's hair. Though she honestly looks more like her mom, maybe? Eh idk.

Also info:

Myung Kim

First Name Meaning: Brightness

Nicknames: Myu (Referred to by most people, including her parents, V, Jaehee, Zen, Yoosung, and Seven. I don't think Jumin is one to use nicknames lol)

Mungle (Jokingly by Seven, referring to how when she is angry she can be more terrifying than the Mongol warriors of the Mongol Empire)

*Age: 23 (AS) 24 (OS)

*Note: This is internationally. Korean she is 24 (AS) and 25 (OS)

Blood Type: A

Birthday: August 19th

Zodiac: Leo

Height: 5'3 ft (161 cm)

Weight: 125 lbs (56 kgs)

Status: Alive (All routes but Secret Ending)

*Missing (Secret Ending)

*Note: She is missing because after V died she became extremely withdrawn and depressed (even a bit suicidal) and eventually disappeared. She's fine (well she's alive at least) but has disconnected from everyone and nobody knows where she is. She moved away from Seoul to the southernmost area of South Korea (evading police officers because of a missing person report the RFA filed) to get away from everything. She battles with suicidal thoughts every day. This is assuming she is not the MC. If she were she would still become extremely depressed and withdrawn, but Seven and the RFA would be there so she would likely be ok. Mostly.

Occupation: Freelance Digital Artist

Affiliations: RFA (CS and DS)

Mint Eye (AS If MC)

Hobbies: Painting, Taking Walks In Gardens and Parks, Visiting Her Mother's Grave Weekly (AS Only)

Relatives: Father

Mother (Deceased In AS)

Step Mother (AS Only)

Jihyun Kim/V (Older Brother)

Sister (Half/Step-Sister in AS)

Lucy (Adoptive Niece; V's AE "Forgive Ending" Only)

Personality and Background kind of, just a description I suppose: Myung may appear to be a happy-go-lucky and cheerful girl, but she really isn't as cheerful as you may think. She is usually a mixture of calm as well as bright, and is also very perceptive. She can easily read people based on a variety of things, mostly facial expressions and body language. She also isn't a half-bad singer. She is extremely close to her brother, V, and is also in turn fiercely protective of him- in AS, he's the only family she has left (she honestly just doesn't like her father and really doesn't care about him whatsoever) and due to that she does everything in her power to make sure he's ok and always tells him that "Please tell me anything and everything that's bothering you, and let me help you whenever you need it." Of course, V doesn't take her up on her offer, instead lying to her about everything going on with Rika (knowing she would likely kill Rika the moment she found out what she had done) and Saeran. Myung may be V's little sister, but she can be very big-sisterly, and often people have mistaken her for being his twin or older sister because of the way she acts. When V dies in SE, Myung is extremely devastated, depressed, and due to having witnessed it (if she is the MC) she would be traumatized due to it and would obtain a severe phobia of guns. In SE if she is the MC she would be very, VERY conflicted about Saeran, but if she is not, it is likely she would never know what truly happened to V in the SE and as stated above, she would flee Seoul and start a new life in the southern area of South Korea without telling anyone, and there is a 50/50 chance she would either live out the rest of her days there, return to Seoul eventually, or commit suicide because of her brother's death and the chaotic mess Rika created. She also would, before going missing, always violently lash ou at the sight of Rika, with Zen and Jumin having to restrain her many times because she was just so enraged and upset with Rika that she honestly just wanted her dead. The violent lashing out at Rika thing happens regardless whether she is the MC or not in the SE. She avoids Saeran as much as possible if she is the MC of the SE.

This was a long post, sorry oof 😅 — Submission

You know I love seeing and reading about MCs! So, it’s really not a bother to me to see it. I love how you drew her, it really captures the personality that you were making yesterday. It sounds like a really tragic tale, but hey, not everyone has a really happy story. The pinks in her outfit make me really happy. But, she does sound like she needs a hug. 

And, clearly, for her brother to be there for her just as much as she should try to pull him out of the darkness. 

[beanst0ck]

‘ They aren't a demon slayer but still travel with Zenitsu even though it's dangerous and Tanjirou has told them that but they don't listen, and since Zenitsu is scared all the time why not a situation with a demon where the reader is terrified and he realizes he has to be serious and help/protect them ‘ - @katthestupidwizard​

Zenitsu? Being Badass? Only when he’s asleep but thank you for requesting Iza!! Since you refered to the reader as they/them I made it a gender neutral! reader

Protect You

Pairing: Zenitsu x GN! Reader

Unedited

Word count: 1539

" (Y/NNNNNNN)!! "

Suddenly a body pressed itself against you and you felt arms wrap around your body, almost knocking you over from the unexpected weight. You clenched your weapon in your hands, trembling in fear at the demon in front of you. " Zenitsu! Please let me go! You need to kill that demon! " You tried to shake him off of you, but he tightened his hold on you.

He shook his head, " NO! CANT YOU SEE I CANT KILL THAT THING?! IM NOT STRONG ENOUGH! “

Tanjiro sighed, pulling out his black nichirin blade. This was a low level demon, Tanjiro could tell. The demon hasn't eaten many humans and is relying on on its poor agility to avoid the slayer's attacks. One more strike... Tanjiro ran towards the demon, gripping his sword tightly in his right hand. " Breath of Water first form, Water Surface Slash! "

He quickly swung at the demon, not giving him a chance to dodge. The demon's head flew over Tanjiro, heading straight for you. You shrieked and ducked as the disintegrating head barely missed you, hitting Zenitsu straight in the face. He let go of you and backed away, " AHHHHHH! GET IT OFF GET IT OFF! "

You sighed as Zenitsu fell to the floor while holding his face and screaming. Tanjiro placed a hand on your shoulder, " Are you alright (Y/n)? "

You nodded, " Yea, thanks for asking- "

" HEY! GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY (Y/N)! " Zenitsu jumped up and snatched you into his arms, away from Tanjiro, " YOU WONT TAKE THEM AWAY FROM ME! "

Tanjiro held his hands up in defense, " I wasn't trying to, Zenitsu.. "

He huffed and pulled you closer to him, glaring at Tanjiro for placing his hand on you. You patted his back at a rapid pace, " C-Can't breathe!- "

" Huh? " Zenitsu looked down at you before loosening his grip on you, " (Y/n)! Don't leave me for Tanjiro! "

You let out a nervous laugh, " Don't worry, I won't.. "

Zenitsu separated himself from you when Tanjiro's crow began to yell out directions to their next mission. Apparently a town a few minutes south from your current location has a situation with a wild bear. At night it sneaks into people's houses and devours its victims, leaving nothing behind but a bloody mess. You shivered hearing the description of the mission.

You have nothing to defend yourself but a hardwood stick. You would've become a demon slayer just like your friends, but you aren't able to use any breath styles. Usually, when Zenitsu was crying about how he can't defeat a demon, Tanjiro would step in and save you. He often questioned why you tagged along but you would always respond with the same thing.

" Zenitsu protected me once and for that, I owe him my life. "

Of course when you told Zenitsu this he thought you meant you'd marry him- to which you quickly said no. But you did agree to follow him along his journey and help him in anyway you could.

The three of you begin to walk towards the town and you arrive just as the sun is setting. " I think it would be best if we don't walk too far from one another since we don't know the layout of the town yet. " Tanjiro suggested and you nodded in agreement.

" I think I'm going to take a look over there. " You pointed towards a house that was near a patch of trees.

" Alright, I think I'll takeWas at the house that was recently attacked since it's only a couple of blocks away. Please be safe, ok (Y/n)? " Tanjiro glanced at you worriedly and you gave him a thumbs up, " I will! "

" HUH?! What about me?! You guys can't leave me here alone! " Zenitsu cried out.

" You should search for the demon too Zenitsu. Maybe you'll find him? " You looked back at Zenitsu to see that he was already panicking.

You sigh, " Fine, you can come with me."

Grabbing Zenitsu's wrist you gently pull him towards your destination, him sniffling the whole way. Once you arrive at the house you notice that the doors are wide open. Taking a peak inside you see that the house is empty, the few furniture pieces that remain inside seemed to have been scratched and tainted with blood. You took a step inside, noticing a certain area on the wooden floor that seemed to be stained worse than the rest of the area." Ah, I guess this was one of the houses that- "

" AHHHH! We need to get out of here! T-This was the house that was!- "

You jumped over and placed your hands over his mouth, instantly shutting him up. " Shh! What if the demon is nearby? " you whispered, " we need to stay ca- "

" Ahhh, I smell dinner~ "

You and Zenitsu immediately freeze at the sound of the unfamiliar voice. It was so smooth yet it carried a sharp edge to it at the same time. A hand could be seen gripping onto the edge of the window and slowly a body perched itself on the ledge.

" Oh? Two full course meals? This must be my special day!~ " The demon stuck his thin tongue out that was split in the middle.

The demon's sclera were a light green while the pupils were sharp and thin, like a snake's eyes. His pale skin stood out from the dark green raggedy clothing he wore. He smirked once he noticed the two of you tremble with fear. He stuck his tongue out again, practically smelling the fear the two of you emanated.

He hopped down from the window ledge and onto the wood floor with a small thud. You clutched onto Zenitsu's yellow and orange gradient haori in fear, " Z-Zenitsu... " you muttered out softly, tears beginning to gather at the corner of your eyes.

You felt him wrap his arms around your body tightly before he went limp. Looking up you see his head tilted back, his eyes are closed and you could practically see his soul leave his body. You gulp, " Z-Zenitsu... Zenitsu! " you cried in a shaky voice, " don't do this to me Zenitsu! Not now! "

You shake his body, trying to get him to come back to consciousness. " Oh no, seems that my dinner was too frightened by my presence... No matter, you'll make an excellent appetizer.~ " he smirked and began walking over to you.

Grabbing your stick you take a defensive stance in front of Zenitsu. He saved you once, so maybe today was the day you'd repay him for his kindness. The demon stopped in his tracks and began cackling, " You think you can actually defeat me? A lowly human such as yourself? " He held his hand up and diagonally sliced the air.

You held your stick in front of you, bracing for his attack but nothing came. Suddenly, your stick snapped in half. The cut was clean and straight down the middle. You slowly backed away in fear, tripping over Zenitsu's leg. No... you gripped the two pieces of wood in your hands, I have to protect Zenitsu!

You quickly stand, noticing the demon was preparing for another attack. Just as the demon sends another attack towards you a flash of yellow blocks your vision. You look behind you and see that Zenitsu was no longer on the floor, but instead now he was right in front of you. Even though his back was facing you you could tell something was different about him. He seemed less, afraid. His hand reached over to draw his nichirin blade from its scabbard. " Thunder Breathing, first form.. "

He rushed towards the demon, who took a step back from the sudden attack. " Thunderclap and Flash! " he brought out his sword and in an instant the demon's head was rolling on the floor.

Zenitsu places his sword back and opened his eyes. He looked around the room, seeing you tremble in the corner out of fear and the decapitated demon. He let out a scream and jumped away from the demon's head. Seeing Zenitsu revert back to his original self made even more tears swell up in your eyes. You stood up and ran to him, embracing him in a tight hug. He stumbled back, not expecting your embrace. " Zenitsu! " you cried and hugged him even tighter, " you did it! Thank you! "

Slowly you two fell to the floor. He had no idea what were talking about but hugged you back, enjoying your warm embrace. You continued to to cry in his arms, apologizing for not being able to protect him properly. All he could do was awkwardly rub circles on your back in a soothing manner. After a few minutes you let go of him and rubbed your eyes, " I'm sorry, I guess I owe you double now, huh? "

He blinked repeatedly after hearing your question. Zenitsu eagerly grabbed your hands and brought them to his chest, " Please marry me! "

" Huh?! "

You weren't expecting him to ask you again after you had turned him down so many times. Over the course of your journey though, you had grown to like the blonde crybaby. Looking him in the eye you gave him a smile, " Alright, I'll marry you. "

[inspector-montoya-fox]

#10 - Jailbreak

Setting: let’s enter the SpOOkY!!! girl, i’m sorry i have to take a moment to appreciate the KI that this episode is. from the statues that come to life to the purple water, the red sky, the bat props that Sly can ninja-spire onto, the music. it’s like a Scooby-Doo episode. Contessa’s house looks like a freakin insane asylum hahahahaha this is all fantastic. i’ve been to Prague and the towers are literally the same. i know i should be analyzing this in the Themes section but in terms of environment, Prague (both levels) are the crux of Sly 2, if not narrative-wise, then definitely emotionally-wise. @designraccoon made this amazing post a while back which went into detail about how the Prague levels represent the darkest nights in the entire series and then in Canada it’s day. i mean, the whole game is great but these central four episodes (from A Starry Eyed Encounter until A Tangled Web) are, in my opinion, what make it so amazing. there’s definitely climax because the stakes are so high. 2/3 of the gang and Carmelita have been captured, Neyla has double-crossed us, Bentley (who was up until this point the weakest link physically) is all alone, and as we find out by the very beginning of the episode, the Contessa is a secret Klaww Gang member. well, this is all dandy. having Bentley alone further establishes how haunting this episode is because we first witness the hub as him, which has never happened before. he’s an itty-bitty-witty turtle roaming around the ultimate spooky level. and the Contessa, she didn’t come to play hunty. i’ll go into more detail about her character below, but she feels more of a threat than Rajan or Dimitri. not because she herself is scary, but because she’s built an empire. Dimitri had bouncers and Rajan had his staff, but Contessa has an entire army and (at this point) Interpol backing her up. in terms of environment, the hub feels huge because of the giant prison in the centre. it truly is a pain in the ass to enter the prison, but that just highlights the fact that, well, it’s a prison. in general, SP really captured the essence of a European town: the stone pavement, the bridges and the sections under them, some historical arcs blocked by cage bars, etc. all this being said however, if we factor in the narrative, Jailbreak’s Prague feels very dead. maybe it’s done on purpose, but due to the gang’s absence and the prison’s overbearing presence, this (similarly to A Starry Eyed Encounter) feels like a prelude. we’re defo onto something big, but we first have to break out Sly and Murray. and lord knows what comes next is big...

Characters: i want to expand the Setting section here but also leave the big gang moments for the Theme section, so this is really about the Contessa. this episode is soaked in melodrama. the themes are heavy, the morale is low, the narrative is complex to say the least. The Predator Awake’s ending was such a shock that we genuinely forget about Carmelita’s whereabouts, as she’s not even mentioned here. we meet the Contessa and, even though she’s already been introduced, this is the first time we really get to know her. the hub really encapsulates her character: a total psychiatrist witch whose gothic surroundings reflect her malicious intentions. a true villain, the definition of the word. she’s a member of the Klaww Gang but also has an ulterior motive and even gives the gang a run for their money with her hypnosis. the bitch also has a blimp she uses for swift getaways, i mean what more can you want. and this is not even her ultimate form as A Tangled Web will see her deliver some very important lines of dialogue and truly show off how evil she is. but for now, she lurks in the shadows. similar to Rajan in the previous level, she spends most of the episode absent (you’ll notice there’s no Clockwerk part in this episode too). this is probably done to give the player some breathing space after the Neyla twist and allow the gang to gather their strength. but her presence is felt, due to how she embodies her hub, the personification of the obscure and the SPOOKY ! for me, the Contessa is as big a villain as Clockwerk, Neyla and Dr M. she’s just selfish and that’s her downfall, as we’ll see in the next episode where she’s presented in a very Nietzschian fashion. it’s like they merged Miz Ruby and Clockwerk: they honed the spooky aspect by added intelligence. Miz Ruby was too short sighted and lacked ambition. the Contessa created herself after she murdered her husband, made herself rich through her psychiatry scam, earned a strong rep via Interpol, and touched the divine by getting her hands on the Clockwerk eyes. the self-confidence is unreal.

Themes: uh, fear theme !!!!!!!!! (like the full shebang, not the half-baked version from The Predator Awakes) our characters are put to the test, forced to face their fears. Bentley had to learn how to drive the van, drive all the way from India to Prague, and explore this nightmare of a level all on his own. Sly was captured by the police and Murray was rendered weak, his will and control taken from him with the use of spice. the theme fits the level like a glove and everyone gets to confront their fear. Bentley succeeds in saving his friends, Sly (although not shown directly but instead mentioned via the Contessa) breaks free from the “hole” under which he’d go mad, and Murray goes head to head with the Contessa at the end of the level. as i analysed in the Setting section, the fear theme is further established by the spooky environment and missions (werewolf statues and evil robots that come to life), as well as the prison’s interior. i mean, consider the gang’s biggest fear is getting arrested but enhance it by a hundred by making the prison seem as hellish as possible. its sombre green and blue tones are reminiscent of Arkham. it truly feels like an insane asylum, with its towering cells, booby traps and devices used for hypnosis. the fear theme is dominant here, but there’s also the theme of separation. up to this point in the game, the gang’s unity has been taken for granted. soon after Bentley and Murray learn the basics, the gang is split. this not only increases the difficulty of the challenges they have to face on their own, but also puts things into perspective. mainly, things only work out when they’re together. you’ll notice that after Jailbreak (and by extent A Tangled Web), there’s an increase in group missions. He Who Tames the Iron Horse, is full of them. their time apart has all three of them realise that teamwork is essential, and that their friendship is the basis for their success. and lastly, a mind theme. i feel like there’s a connection between the hub and the Contessa’s character: her trained mind is so hard to breach, similar to the prison with its high walls. she’s a brittle spider but shouldn’t be underestimated. mind over matter, basically. her head’s interior is full of high security and intricate designs, spotlights and guards. everything feels so claustrophobic in there. both her expertise in psychology and the prison are devices used to break through with her prisoners. and once Sly and Bentley manage to penetrate the walls and get through to Murray, she’s caught off guard because of her seemingly flawless fortress.

What I Like: lots of stuff here. i was always a fun of the spooky-ooky so this is perfect. Bentley is my least favorite gang member but i really enjoyed his narration and how he came through even though the odds were stacked against him. the Contessa is my fav villain from the game, maybe even the series, so there’s that too. in terms of details, i really like Sly disguising himself as a werewolf statue on the bridge, even going so far as to imitate their open mouths. and the prison’s interior is great too. OH! AND that little bell you can hit to distract guards in the hub. i love that little bell.

What I Don’t Like: i’d have to say, the missions are kind of a drag, especially after The Predator Awakes which had some pretty good ones. apart from following the Contessa around and playing as Murray in the prison, the rest are tiring in my opinion (i’m not referring to the operation). specifically, Code Capture and Lightning Action feel like filler, maybe because they’re all made available at the same time, when Sly breaks out. i was never fond of the hacking and this is the episode it’s introduced in so... yea...

Quote: Inconceivable! She's no health care professional!

[zankivich]

The Arrangement: CEO’s Son/Dom!Shawn x Black Sub Reader Chapter 8

a/n: I hope you didn’t think I’d make it quite so easy. A little pull and tug is worth it sometimes ya know? idk how much longer I’ll be around. Most people don’t engage with the fics anymore and Shawn isn’t really the Shawn I fell in love with anymore. Life just kind of sucks at the moment. But I’ve got this chapter already written so I thought I’d post it. If you liked it and actually want it to continue? I might recommend letting me know tbh. Bye. 

Shawn’s point of view

The problem with taking a woman to Rome on the first date is that anything after that just seems silly. What exactly was he to do now? Invite her over to his apartment for sushi? Even he would walk out on that date! It didn’t help that the second they got back to New York, after a very long winded kiss goodbye, that she’d jumped right into preparation for the VMAs. That essentially meant he wasn’t going to see her for days, maybe weeks. VMA season sparked award season in general for the music industry. It might not exactly give an indication of Grammys, but with the award show always arriving right as the ellibility period for the more prestigious honor was ending, it meant that the VMAS was the beginning of the long haul to get your artist at the top of the charts and fucking keep them there. Which also meant that just like she was busy, so was he. The difference was she actually liked her job. And he had...oh how he hated his.

He’s sitting in a marketing meeting for Sarah Leone. Sarah Leone is his dad’s bid for best new artist of the year. Forget the fact that y/n had her secret weapon of Normani and Khalid on one management team, and that he sort of had a feeling she was going to do a solo album release directly before the grammy consideration deadline just to keep the industry on its toes, his dad was thoroughly convinced Sarah was his ticket. And in a lot of ways she was. Small town girl turned mega popstar in a little over a year, her debut album was set to make beautiful numbers. Unfortunately that wasn’t enough. His dad had a very direct line of vision and that vision was complete and total domination. So it wasn’t enough to have your music sell, he wanted his artists to be inescapable from the public eye. Enter this season’s publicity stunt: The MC.

His dad thought it was a clever way to reference Miley Cyrus. Back in the day he’d orchestrated Miley’s dating of a 20 year old when she was 16 to address her rebellious teen phase. What most people saw as a kid going off the rails, was actually a perfectly manipulated moment in pop history. Except the dick cake that lost her the walmart branding deal, that was all her unfortunately.

Sarah was supposed to be seen out and about with mysterious new “it” british singer, Ty Summers. He was 21. She turned 18 just months prior. The two had begun with a close knit friendship, and were now being guided through the early stage of good, whole-hearted, perfectly constructed, “love”. He peers down at one of the new stills for her headline of V magazine, and simply can’t believe she’s 18. The cover makes him uncomfortable, makes him feel icky. No one at the table notices. And his dad isn’t even there, because this is too low level for the kind of work he does anymore.

“Next, I want her in London for the UK press tour. We’ll have her position at Summers’ hotel for half of her stay. I want pap shots at dinner every night out of the week, and I want a prompt at the BBC interview to hint at their connection. We’ll take it from there.” Jaret, one of the senior managers rattled off. “Any questions?”

He twirled boredly in his chair far from interested in the inner workings of career management if none of it meant jack shit about what the artist actually wanted for their career. It felt like such a waste of his time.

“Quick question?” He sighed popping his pen slightly into the air.

“Yes, Mendes?”

“When does she sing?” He shrugged.

The room goes still. It’s a well known fact that Jaret runs the room. He runs the meetings, runs the decisions. He’s top dog on this particular client, and Shawn is merely there under his father’s orders as an informant and nothing more. He was there to make sure things ran smoothly, but he certainly wasn’t there to offer critique. Woops.

“And what exactly does that mean?” Jaret challenged.

Shawn simply shrugged. “Just seems like if we have a musical artist who we signed on the basis of her being able to sing, that we might at some point want that to be the focal point of her career. But you know, I could be wrong.”

“There’s just one thing wrong here Shawn...we did not sign anyone. I did. We don’t make decisions on the intricacies of her career. I do. You are simply a glorified intern. Nothing more, nothing less. And if you’re father wasn’t afraid you’d run off every two seconds I wouldn’t have to babysit your ass right now. So, why don’t you let the professionals determine next steps and play on the computer daddy bought you, or whatever it is you do?”

Ouch.

The room shifted from Jaret back to Shawn. No one went against Jaret. And yet Shawn was perhaps the most unpredictable thing about his father’s company at that point. Needless to say unpredictably was a hell of a thing.

“It must really upset you that I get paid more than you do doesn’t it?” He hummed.

Jaret’s face began to redden, his nerves tighter than his balls that Shawn had such a precarious grip on at the moment.

“Or does it upset you more that I could do your job better than you right now, today, without even the ability to hear the tonedeaf artists you sign that are just pretty enough and just old enough not to get your ass arrested?” He tilted his head in contemplation. “Perhaps it’s even that one time at the company Christmas party where your wife caught you screwing your secretary in your office and stopped crying long enough for me to make her cum before signing the divorce papers? But you’re right Jaret, I simply should just get back to daddy’s computer. My bad.”

“You little son of--”

“Big.” Shawn interrupted sliding smoothly from his chair and packing his shit up from the horrible meeting he’d had no interest in attending in the first place. “I’m big son of a bitch, Jaret. Just ask Sarah.”

Sarah of course being his wife. Ex wife of course. Ex wife number three if we’re being specific.

The door shuts close behind him to Jaret screaming and lurching across the table towards his empty chair. He’d probably hear about it from his dad later. But honestly who cared. Jaret was a creepy asshole, and he was always gonna be a creepy asshole. Sorry not sorry.

***

He’d be a little embarrassed at how aggressively he yanked at the door were it not for the hopeful look in her big brown eyes when he sees her for the first time. He can tell she’s had a long day because her hair is down out of its bun already, tiny spirals falling all around her face and cheeks. But, the way she falls into his arms is enough to make his whole entire day. Because it means that after all the shit she’d been through that day, she wanted to be with him. And that’s the only thing he cared about in the whole world.

“I missed you.” He sighed already capturing her lips in a kiss.

She hummed softly against him, fingers squeezing at his shoulders.

“Missed you too.”

He pushed the door shut with his foot, arms keeping her tucked tightly against him. He’s sure he’s smiling like a complete and total idiot but he can’t help it. It’s this new exciting thing where he no longer has to be afraid of how close he is to her, no longer has to hope he doesn’t stare too long. She knows. And not only does she know, but somehow she feels the same way. It felt like a dream.

He tugged her back towards his kitchen and helped her into a seat before he pulled out the leftovers from his own dinner where he “accidently” ordered for two.

“Tiana said you didn’t eat dinner.” He shrugged at her questioning gaze. “And this little italian place up the block always gives me more than I need.”

She bit her lip and peered from the container of chicken parm to him and back to the parm. He thought for a second she just might fight him on it. And then he remembered how much she liked to eat.

“You and Tiana conspiring against me must stop!” She snorted grabbing the fork clean from his hand to dig in.

He leaned against the granite counter with his chin propped on his hand. She was wonderful. And silly. And a little ridiculous. He kind of loved it.

“Yes, because making sure you consume more than coffee in a twelve hour period is definitely a conspiracy.”

She rolled her eyes. “Maybe so.”

“Maybe so.” He mimicked. “I missed the way you argue with me about everything. Feel like I haven’t seen you in weeks.”

Her eyes got wide and bright and she turned a grin towards him that he practically ached to lick off. She was gorgeous.

“You missed me huh? The Shawn Mendes has fallen head first into a little monogamy moment has he?”

Sometimes he liked to think that her favorite past time was taking the piss out of him. It sure seemed that way.

He rolled his eyes back at her and butted his head softly into her neck.

“And what if I have?” He whispered softly. “You have too. Right?”

His nose skimmed along her neck and she shivered. He smiled against her skin. She’d fallen just as hard alright.

“Yea I guess so.” She mumbled.

He pulled back and pressed a kiss to her cheek before grabbing her glass to refill with water.

“You should eat up. You’re gonna need your strength.”

“Excuse me?”

He refilled her glass from the refrigerator and placed in front of her before leaning against the countertop again.

“Oh. I just meant that I plan to fuck you until the birds sing. I don’t want you getting tired on me before I’m done with you.”

His favorite past time was saying the wildest things he could come up with to her in the simplest voice possible and then watching the way it made her eyes bulge in her sockets. God he loved it.

This time she simply stuffed a breadstick in her mouth and hopped out of her seat to start taking her jacket off. It seemed she might be just as needy as he was.

“Yep! Okay. You can come get it now!”

“I’m comin’, baby.” He grinned lifting her up into his arms.

“Goddammit. Carbs and dick. It’s like my birthday or something!”

His bedroom is way too far away. They’ve gotta figure out a way to get there quicker. But he chuckles into her cleavage as he knocks them against walls to stop and kiss her. Her thighs mold to his waist, ass full in his hands. He’s stuck on her completely. And the worst part is that she knows it.

He lets her legs back down to the floor only to press her against the wall of his bedroom, lips, teeth, and tongue beginning a trail along her neck.

“You make me never wanna go back to go work ever again.” She whined, fingers tangling in his hair.

“I’d happily quit if we could stay in bed for the rest of forever.” He murmured.

“Don’t tempt me!”

Maybe he would.

“Mmmm speaking of work, how hard you gonna make my job for me this fall?” He hummed biting down on her lip to solicit a yelp that drove him crazy.

“What do you mean?” She asked, fingers already tugging at his belt.

“I’m supposed to believe Normani’s not releasing an album before awards season?”

Her fingers came to a stuttering stop, and he recognized that her kisses weren’t really kisses anymore. His eyes opened to meet hers and instead of the lust from just moments prior, there was...anger?

“What the fuck, Shawn?”

“W--What? What?” He mumbled reaching for her as she quickly stepped out of his arms.

“Why would you ask me that? Since when the hell do you care when my artists release music?”

He’s a little flustered and his dick is hard and her yelling at him when his dick is hard is only just adding to the complex array of emotions that his brain would surely need more blood to process.

“I--I don’t know! I thought that’s what couples did right? Like they--they ask each other about work and shit. What did I do?”

“Couples?” She paused, all of the steam leaving her like a deflated balloon. “Are we--we’re a couple?”

At this point he’s pretty sure she’s gonna give him a heart attack.

“I….Aren’t we?”

“I--I don’t know. I don’t know, we’ve only been on one fucking date, Shawn. And just because it was wonderful and beautiful and romantic doesn’t mean that you get to ask me questions like that. I just… Shit. I need space.”

“Space?”

His heart leapt a little in his chest. He’d said that word before. “Space”. When people said they needed space it always meant permanent. It meant separation. It meant losing her. And the effect that her words have on him is a little surprising, even though he’s not processing nearly fast enough to catch on. All he can hear, feel, think, breathe is her not wanting him. And in this moment of fragility for him he’s not quite sure how to cope.

“Wait. Just wait a second. I don’t even know what’s happening right now!” He cried his hands held up in surrender. “Let’s just talk. Let’s just talk for a second okay? Tell me what I did wrong and I’ll fix it.”

“No. I don’t want to talk to you right now. I’m going home. I--I’lll call you later.”

She sweeps right past him, her fingers re-buttoning the same buttons she had giggled when he’d undone just seconds ago. He’s so floored by what’s taking place and he’s got no idea how to fix it. How to make her happy. He just wants to make her happy. And he doesn’t want her to go.

“Y/n. Y/n, please? Alright, just talk to me.”

Her fingers slip through his when he reaches for her and just like that she’s gone. And it hurts. It hurts far more than he knows what to do with. What the fuck?

***

*Three days later*

*y/n’s point of view*

A foul mood did not begin to describe what you were in. Everyone had been steering completely clear of you and rightfully so. Anyone who dare breathe wrong in your direction would get an earful. It wasn’t your fault. You hadn’t exactly been sleeping well. Your stomach was in knots. You were stressed as hell. But, none of that was allowed to matter. You had work to do. So, everything else got placed on the backburner.

You’re in your office taking a twenty minute “get your shit together bitch” break when a knock sounds itself on your door. Tiana had been the only one with balls to knock on the door in days, so you had no doubt who it could be.

“Come in, Ti.” You sighed still leaning pathetically across your desk.

The door slides open and unless Tiana grew several feet and turned into a white man over night, it was certainly not your assistant standing there.

“Hi.” Shawn mumbled waving awkwardly in your direction.

He was in a suit again. But not one of the ones from the red carpet that would make your thighs tremble. This must be one of his work ones. It looks too restrictive on his body. He’s wearing a tie, and your fingers itch to remove it, to dishevel him back into the man that you knew.  The worst part is that even in discomfort he doesn’t look real. He looks like an ad standing there at your doorway. An absolute vision to behold. You had to remind yourself that you were angry at him.

“How did you--What are you doing here? Shawn?”

He quickly closed the door and strode over to you, at least having the good grace to keep his distance to the chair in front of your desk.

“You didn’t answer any of my calls. Which is fine I guess. I get that maybe you need space but...I really hate what’s going on between us right now.” He mumbled.

His knee is bouncing. You only recognize this because it shakes your desk in a gentle hum. His fingers twist and turn anxiously on your desk as if he’s fighting the urge to reach out and touch your hand. His lips are stress bitten and his hair looks like it’s been the victim of an attack as well.

“Really?” You asked, leaning back slighting your chair in confusion.

He raised an eyebrow. “Yes, really. What did you think I was just out living my best life since you stormed out of my apartment at one am without a word and ignored me for three days?”

“No, I just...I just didn’t realize it would have this great of an effect on you. I guess I--I didn’t know you cared that much.”

“You didn’t know that I care that much? What the hell, y/n?” He groaned. “Why are you doing this right now?”

“Doing what?! What am I doing?”

“You’re pulling away. We sat there in Rome and you asked me to promise you that I was all in. And I am. And now you’re scared, is that it? You don’t know what it might look like for us to be together in the real world, so you’re pulling away from me.”

Well that was certainly a read. You were flustered. Your lips opened and shut around nothing but air as you sat there at a loss for words. It wasn’t conscious, or maybe on some level it was, but Shawn scared the hell out of you. Rome was a beautiful, beautiful bubble, but a bubble nonetheless. The second you got back to New York you couldn’t help but wonder if it would actually work a tall. You were still so different. And much as you liked him, and shit you really fucking liked him, it was terrifying to place yourself into new charted territory. You were scared of him. Of the two of you together. Of what it could mean. And he never even needed you to say it, he just knew it about you instantly.

“Look,” He sighed. “I still don’t really know what I did wrong. I know I probably sound like I’m being a little bitch right now but...shit y/n I just got you and I feel like I’m losing you already. Like you’re not even gonna give me a chance to try to make you happy. Is that how it’s gonna be? Cause if it is just tell me okay? Tell me what you want.”

“I don’t...I don’t know. Okay? I don’t know.” You mumbled

The look that he gives you tells you that this hurts him. That you not being a hundred percent in is painful. Everything was just moving so incredibly fast. One second you couldn’t fathom the idea that Shawn would even want to do more than fuck you, let alone be leading the charge your relationship. It was fast. All of it. And you? You were scared.

“Okay. Well I guess just call me when you figure it out.”

He got out of his seat and headed for the door only throwing you further off your game. You didn’t know much about what you wanted. You just knew that you didn’t want him mad at you, and you didn’t want him to leave. It didn’t help that a part of you felt like you should be leading this matter. You were older, you were the woman. Never had anyone cornered you in the manner that Shawn was in this moment. It was completely different than anything you’d ever experienced.

“Wait--shit. Shawn don’t leave.”

He shook his head. “It’s fine. You’re not ready, and I was. Just…Call when you figure things out. Maybe I’ll talk to you later.”

And just like that he’s gone. Fuck.

***

It’s another long night. You’re tired. You’re heart is heavy. Your ponytail is too tight. And you wanna go to bed. But you have no interest in sleeping alone, and therefore are stuck at your desk again. There’s three different contracts waiting your signature on your desk, but the words have begun to blur. You tell yourself it’s not because you’re crying because you definitely aren’t. It’s just cause you’re tired. Yes.

“Hey, it’s late I’m gonna---oh lord. I haven’t seen you cry since Michelle Obama smiled at you on a red carpet.” Tianna gasped.

You sniffled. “Bitch I am not crying. Go home.”

She rolled her eyes. “Denial or delusion. Your favorite pastimes. Come tell Titi what’s wrong while I’m still awake.”

She plopped herself in the chair opposite your desk and reached for the tissues on your desk to hand to you. You take one begrudgingly.

“You haven’t let me call you Titi since college.”

“Of course I haven’t, “She giggled. “What kind of grown ass woman walks around goin’ by Titi. Now stop deflecting.”

Best friends are no good. They know you too well. It makes it way too hard to hide.

“I….I think I fucked things up.”

“With Shawn you mean?”

You nod slowly.

“Yea, I saw him come out of your office lookin’ like a kicked puppy. I couldn't even get him to laugh for me before he left. You never really said what happened though.” She nudged gently.

A sigh passes through your lips that feels bone deep. Your fingers twitch anxiously against the desk. There’s nowhere to hide here. You just have to be truthful. It’s the worst.

“We...We decided to give it a go. And he took me to Rome, as your meddling ass knows, and it was the most amazing thing I could experience. It was everything I ever thought it would be but...he made it more. And I kept thinking that he was going to stop at some point. I don’t know I thought surely it was gonna work, because how could it you know?”  

“No, not quite sis. I don’t know. Maybe you can explain it to me.”

You bite your lip and twitch anxiously.

“I asked him in Rome one of our last nights there if he was gonna be all in. We talked about race and white supremacy and I told him that I needed someone who could stand with me in all of it, not just when it is convenient.”

“And he said…?”

“Well the fucker said yes.” You huffed. “He promised it even.”

“Shit.” Tiana mumbled taking a pause herself. “I would’ve never called Shawn Mendes to be a social justice warrior.”

You rolled your eyes. “He’s far from it, now. He’s still a white boy. But he wanted to try. He was willing to try for me.”

“So you can see how maybe I’m missing the part where you fucked up. This sounds a little like a black girl’s love story come true.”

“I went over to his place and he offered me breadsticks and dick, in that order. But then when we were getting to it, he asked me about Normani, Ti. He asked if I was going to ‘make his job harder for him’ by having her release her album before award season.”

“Oh lord, that poor bastard didn’t even know what hit him.” She sighed.

“I’m serious Ti!” You groaned. “I’ve been here before. I’ve had the music exec who wanted to get into my pants just to know what we were doing in this building. I--I can’t go back there. You and I both know that there’s nothing Manny Mendes would love to see more than one his little white girls on top and my people failing on the bottom of the totem pole. We work too goddamn hard for me to lose it.”

Tiana paused for a minute and stared at you. Her eyes were soul searching, the way they tended to be. She was as lovely and amazing as she was terrifying. She knew you better than you knew yourself, and she never hesitated to call you on your bullshit. Even if you didn’t know it was bullshit. Especially when you didn’t know it was bullshit.

“Girl, I love you more than anyone I’ve ever met in my life, but you are truly exhausting.” She sighed and held her hand up as a means to silence you before you even spoke. “Now if you’re not ready for someone to potentially love and take care of you that’s one thing. But if you are intentionally sabotaging yourself because you’re scared you gotta knock it the fuck off.”

“But Ti--”

“No, ma’am. If that boy wanted to know when Normani’s album was dropping he did not need to take your ass to Rome to do it. You have been scorned by this industry more than most will ever recognize, and I know that, and I validate that. But you ain’t in a relationship with Manny Mendes. You’re not in a relationship with the industry. It’s Shawn. And that man hates his dad and his dad’s company more than you do. I love you, but you’re being a bit ridiculous.”

“...Fuck.”

“Fuck, indeed.” She hummed. “You keep doing this. You keep letting outside factors affect everything, and that’s not sustainable. You have to trust him. He has to trust you. That’s the only way it works.”

You peered at her with tired eyes. The kind of eyes that a woman who’d been scorned one time too many might have.

“But what if he hurts me?”

“Than we pick up the pieces. We work at it until your healed. But you don’t get the love without faith. You’ve got to put yourself out there, babe.”

And that is of course how you end up at his place at midnight on Friday nonetheless. Ti had practically ushered you off, offering to close up shop for the night if it meant you would finally leave the office. You’re still in your work jumpsuit with the too tight ponytail and the makeup that you couldn’t wait to take off.  The code lets you easily without having to let him know that you’re there. Perhaps that’s why you finally get to hear him this time.

The doors of his fancy apparently  are surely made of thicker wood, so he must be sitting right inside the living room. Regardless you hear it in this soft, muted kind of way. It’s an acoustic guitar, the plucking of his fingers just as rounded and full. It’s beautiful and rhythmic and it makes you pause, your fingers still resting on the door knob because then the mother fucker starts to sing.

Maybe I had too many drinks, but that's just what I needed

I hope that you don't think that what I'm saying sounds conceited

When I look across the room and you're staring right back at me

Like somebody told a joke and we're the only ones laughin'

You’re fingers grip tight at the door knob, you’re mind both seemingly filled with a million thoughts and yet too overwhelmed to process any of it. His door is unlocked though and when you stumble inside the vision in your head comes to life. He’s sat on his floor by the fireplace with a guitar you’ve never seen upon his lap. He’s wearing a white tanktop and black sweats. The rosary against his neck nestles against what looks like perfectly tamed chest hair. He is as unreal as ever. And yet somehow, somehow that is not the most astonishing part of everything around you in this moment.

He pops his head up towards you. His fingers don’t still on the guitar at all as he seems to pluck out the melody he’d sung just moments prior.

“Took you long enough. Almost like you were outside eavesdropping or something.” He hummed.

“I...How did you even know I was outside?” You stuttered.

“I get an alert every time someone enters my code. I don’t just wait around for you all the time ya know.”

Rude.

“You...You sing.”

He peered at you, fingers still moving, his head tilted just slightly to the side as if you were as confusing to him as he was to you.

“I sing.” He affirmed. “Is that okay?”

“How come--I mean you never said anything.” You frowned. “That--That song. You wrote that?”

He nodded slowly. “I’ve been given a bit of inspiration lately. Is that what you came here for? To bust me in my hobby?”

This changes things. And surely it wouldn’t have mattered because Ti’ had already convinced you to suck it the fuck up and come over, but the fact that he’s got music in him and never said anything matters. Because there’s a lot he could have asked for. A lot he could have tried to get from you, and he hadn’t. It really didn’t matter to him at all. You were just a fucking asshole.

It occurred to you that you were still standing in the middle of his doorway, so you closed the door and moved slowly near him. He set his guitar off to the side as you plopped one of his decorative pillows in the spot beside him and sat down. Without his guitar, Shawn was a lot more fidgety. He took to playing with his rings on his fingers again, eyes soft and vulnerable pointed in your direction.

“So...Is this it? You come here to end it?” He asked.

You took a deep breath. “No. I came here to apologize.”

His eyes flickered up to your face, a hint of hesitance to them.

“I’ve never heard you apologize in my life.”

You rolled your eyes and punched playfully at his arm, the chiseled muscle probably hurting you more than it hurt him. He wasn’t wrong.

“The truth is...When you asked me about Normani’s release I didn’t think of it as you wanting to know about my day. I didn’t think about it as you wanting to be kind to me at all. I sort of, maybe thought you were snooping trying to figure out a way that you could hurt me.” You admitted softly. “Because--well because that’s what I’ve experienced in the past. And that’s not an excuse but it just is...it’s what I was feeling.”

He squinted his nose up and it would’ve been cute had you not been so flustered.

“Wait, you thought I was gonna hurt you? How?” He asked turning more in your direction.

You winced. “Like...by maybe taking it to your dad. Knowing whether or not Normani’s gonna release would be really beneficial to him.”

There’s a range of emotions that cover his face. First confusion. Then acceptance. And then anger.

“Why would I ever do that to you? What have I ever said or done to make you think that I would choose allegiance to my dad of all people over you. I hate my job, y/n. I hate that company. You know that better than just about anyone.”

“I know! I know that. I just--fuck. You scare me okay!” You whined. “I haven’t been in a healthy relationship in years. I’ve been fucked over in my job, in my relationships, in life constantly. And I didn’t exactly walking into our arrangement expecting to find a relationship. I don’t know how to do this, Shawn. I don’t--I’m not sure I truly deserve it.”

You glanced down at the floor in worry and fear. You wanted it. God, you really wanted it. But, shit if you weren’t terrified to try.

When he crawls into your lap, you’re a little taken aback. For how tall that fucker is, he certainly could use an extra meal or two. But, there’s something about the reversal of his thighs bracketing your hips the way that yours would usually do to his. There’s something about the way his thumb soothes at your pulse point as his fingers rest on either side of your neck. There’s something about the way that he looks at you with tenderness and kindness. It’s a little unlike anything you’d ever quite felt before. And it makes you soften beneath him with ease, all the fire running out of you at once.

“You are...the most hard headed woman I’ve ever met.” He mumbled softly.

You smiled sheepishly. “That’s what my momma’s been telling me since I was born.”

“Well she’s right. But I’m kind of crazy about you. And I don’t like fighting with you. And I don’t like being mad at you, or you being mad at me. I just want to make you happy. This is the first time in my life where I feel like I can make some good out of anything. You feel...right. I like you, and I want to take care of you, and I’d like to have something where we can both give each other that. I’m just as scared as you are, okay? I don’t fucking know what I’m doing either. But I wanna try. Do you?”

Was it really that simple? Could it be that simple?

“I do. I really do.” You whispered.

“Good. That’s all I needed to hear. C’mere.”

For him, it could be.

His fingers knot in your ponytail and he tugs your lips to his with zero hesitation. After a shitty week of back and forth it feels good to not have to think for a while, to let his lips work over yours. He’s dominant even here with his tongue and his hands and his hips. He could’ve made it soft and gentle, but that’s not really what the two of you were about. Or was it?

“I’ve got leftovers in my fridge.” He murmured running his thumb along your bottom lip. “Did you eat dinner?”

You shake your head softly and he quickly climbs off your lap to tug you towards the kitchen. It doesn’t go unnoticed to you that his guitar stays behind in the living room.

“Are we ever gonna talk about the singing thing?”

“Maybe let’s do one heavy thing at a time, aye? I’ll tell you sometime. I promise. For now, do you want egg drop soup or pasta?”

You climbed into your seat at his kitchen counter and quickly tugged at your jacket and ponytail holder.

“Pasta. And one of these days I’m gonna teach your pasty ass how to cook.”

“Sure thing, babe.” He snorted. “I look forward to it.”

***

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[homeworldrunawaysau]

But That’s Just How The Story Goes

Summary: Steven Universe Gem AU- Rubellite meets a Young Thomas Ships: N/A. Platonic all around. Warnings: Gem Corruption, fighting, mild peril/distress??, weapons, some almost-crying.... Yea no this is cute as heck for the most part.   

Gainesville, Florida, 1996 -

Thomas was playing outside his house, enjoying his summer vacation at his aunt Patty who lived by the beach and was having fun when he heard a strange, loud, scary noise in the distance. Now, being six years old, his curiosity greatly outweighed his fear of the unknown and the dangers of running into it with no plan, so that’s exactly what he did.

When he got to the source of the noise Thomas found the strangest and scariest thing he’d ever seen, and before he could even comprehend the monster before him, he saw someone jumping at it, attacking it and keeping it from going any further where it could hurt people. So naturally, Thomas came closer to get a better look at the action.

Rubellite has been fighting this beast for hours, but it was very durable and nearly impossible to dissipate. He hasn’t faced that many corrupted gems before, most of them sticking to beach city where Rose Quartz resided, but he’s had some experience! This shouldn’t be so hard!

Just as he was about to attack it with his katana again, he noticed a young human approaching him and the beast, looking awed and amazed, and seemingly unaware of the risk he is putting himself in, and he rushed towards the small child, intending to tell him that he needs to leave. But the monster jumped high and landed in front of him, blocking his way and standing between him and the boy, and letting out its demonic, unsettling shriek.

“Out of my way you weird, stinky, octopus thing! I need to save that human!” Rubellite protested angrily and rushed past the monster to the young boy.

The monster roared with what seemed to be indignation and flailed its tentacles in the air in rage, demanding Rubellite’s attention.

“Go red guy! Defeat the monster!” Thomas cheered happily from where he was sitting at a fairly safe distance.

“That’s not my name, and you need to get out of here! It’s not safe for you!” Rubellite answered as he finally reached the boy.

“But you’re here, so I’m safe right? You can stop the monster!” Thomas said with the conviction of someone who was saying that the sky is blue, to him this stranger was a hero, and heroes stopped the bad guys and protected the innocent. It was crystal clear.

Rubellite was impressed by how brave this kid was but even more shocked that he trusted this strange red person with a katana to not only stop a giant monster but also keep a small human safe. He knew there was no talking this kid out of staying to watch what was probably a very entertaining show for him, so instead he gave him a dazzling smile and spoke with his usual confidence.

“You’re right, my small friend! I can indeed protect you from this foul beast, but I must ask that you stay where you are! Sit tight and don’t act recklessly, and all will be well. Can you do that for me?”

“Yeah! Now go defeat that thing, because it's coming for you!” Thomas exclaimed excitedly and pointed behind the hero’s back, where the monster had started running towards him.

Rubellite quickly raised his katana and whipped it at the monster as he turned to face it, the blade bending to form a kind of whip, and then he spun it fast above his head until it became more of a lasso.

“Holy Smokes!” Thomas yelled, having witnessed just about the coolest thing ever in his 6-year-old little life.

“Time to finish this!” Rubellite announced, determination clear in his voice, and if anyone were to look in his eyes at that moment, they would see his fear over the possibility of failure, because if he failed it wouldn’t just be him getting hurt, it would also be this young boy whom he promised he would protect.

With a grunt of effort, Rubellite tightened the lasso, causing the monster to let out a desperate roar, almost sounding like a cry for help. Like it’s begging. For mercy? For Rubellite to finish the job? He wasn’t sure, but it shook him to his core for some unknown reason. Deciding he’ll dwell on it later, he kept pulling the lasso tighter and tighter until finally-

*POOF!*

Thomas clapped his hands loudly and excitedly, rushing towards the hero. “That. Was. AWESOME!” he yelled excitedly.

Rubellite laughed at the child’s enthusiasm. “I’m glad you think so, little friend. But there is still one last thing for me to do to ensure that you and every other citizen is safe from this foul beast!” he allowed himself to slip into his dramatic and charming persona, now that the worst was behind him.

But just as he picked up the corrupted gem to bubble it, he saw what, or rather who, it was.

That Navette cut gem was not only undeniably a Heliotrope, the red dots that nearly overtook the entirety of the green gem, even though Heliotropes are only supposed to have a few red dots and be predominantly green, made Rubellite absolutely certain that he had just fought and poofed his own brother.

“Oh, Bloodstone… I’m so sorry,” he whispered, fighting back tears and choked sobs as he held the gem, running his fingers over it for a few seconds. He always knew that some, if not most of the corrupted gems were Crystal Gems, but knowing it in his head and seeing it with his own eyes were two very different things.

“Are you okay, mister?” the child’s voice suddenly snapped him out if his thoughts, and he took a shaky breath. ~Get it together Rubellite! This kid thinks you’re a hero, if you cry in front of him he’ll be worried and scared!~ he scolded himself and took a deep, slightly more stable breath this time, before turning to Thomas with another charming smile, though his eyes shined with unshed tears.

“Of course, young adventurer! I’m absolutely fine, just a little tired from the fight. But it’s over now. Well actually-” he paused for dramatic effect and demonstrated the bubbling process to the young boy

“Now, it’s over!” as he tapped the bubble and saw it disappear, he knew that his brother would be safe with the crystal gems, which made him feel a little better.

“That was so cool! How did you do all those things? Are you magic?” Thomas started asking a lot of questions and Rubellite smiled fondly.

“Tell you what kid, you answer a question from me, and I’ll answer a question from you. Is that alright?”

“Okay!”

“What’s your name?”

“I’m Thomas Sanders. What’s your name?”

“My name is Rubellite!”

“What? That’s not a real name!” Thomas laughed as if Rubellite told a very funny joke.

“Oh yeah? Well, what do you think my name is?” He asked Thomas with a small smile.

“Hmm… Ronald?”

“That’s not it. Try again.”

“Robby!”

“Not that either.”

“I’ll find out, you’ll see!”

“I’m sure you will, Thomas.”

“But wait, are you really magic?”

“Kind of. I’m from another planet if you call that magic.”

“You’re from space? No way!!”

“Yes way! Okay, next question. How old are you?”

“I’m six years old!”

“Oh my stars! That is very young!”

“Oh yeah? How old are you?”

“I’m thousands of years older than you, that’s for sure.”

“Yeah right! Nobody is thousands of years old!”

“Maybe no human is, but I’m an alien, remember?”

“So you’re really thousands of years old? That’s amazing! How long have you been on earth? Did you know a lot of old-timey people? Oh! Is your name Romeo?”

“Romeo? Like the characters from Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet?”

“Yeah!”

“How does a six-year-old know Shakespeare’s plays?”

“My aunt Patty likes to read it out loud a lot, sometimes out of nowhere. She also told me he lived a long time ago, so if you were here at that time maybe you knew him and he named his character after you!”

“That is a nice thought but if that were the case the play would have been called Rubellite and Juliet. Say, that doesn’t sound half bad…” Rubellite chuckled lightly.

“I don’t believe it! I know you have a real name! Rubellite is just like your hero name, right? Like Spiderman! his real name is Peter Parker!”

“You like comic books?”

“Yeah! I like superheroes! They’re so cool and brave, and they’re never afraid to help and they have lots of friends!”

“You know, I happen to know a team of superheroes myself. You could say I’m one of them.”

“Really? Who are they?”

“They’re called the Crystal Gems! They fight to protect the earth from monsters and evil aliens.”

“But, aren’t you an alien?”

“Yes, but there are good aliens and bad aliens, just like there are good and bad humans. The Crystal Gems are the good aliens and they fight anyone who threatens the earth because they left their planet to be free. Here on earth, they can be whoever they choose to be!”

“Wow! So you wanted to be a hero?” Thomas looked hopeful and curious.

“Not always. When I first came to earth, I was very young and very different. All I wanted was to be myself, to be allowed to exist. My planet didn’t like who I am, but Rose Quartz, the leader of the crystal gems, told me that I am exactly who I need to be because I’m who I choose to be.”

“So when did you become a hero?”

“When we started fighting for the earth. Our planet wanted to destroy the earth with all the gems who left to live in it, but we stopped them! And now we stop these monsters as well.” Rubellite explained with as little detail as possible, as to not frighten young Thomas, though his voice faltered a bit, no longer feeling comfortable calling his fallen friends monsters.

He always thought that if he kept referring to them as monsters, fighting them would be easier, but it’s not. He now knows it’s never gonna be easy for him.

“So wait, how long have you been on earth for? We’re you here before Shakespeare?” Thomas was still wondering about that part, there was no way he was around before Shakespeare, right? He lived like, a million years ago!

“Oh much longer! I’ve been on earth for almost 6000 years!” Rubellite said proudly, knowing Thomas will find this impressive.

“Wow! I can’t believe it! You’re so old!”

“That’s one way of putting it, I suppose.”

“Well, do you like Disney movies? Even though you’re so old? I like Disney but everyone tells me it’s just for kids because it’s cartoons.”

“Are you kidding? I love Disney! It’s so magical and fantastical and beautiful! And it is not just for little kids, thank you very much! They are wonderful animated movies and they are entertaining for every age. Even for aliens who are thousands of years old.”

“Really?!”

“Absolutely!”

Rubellite saw the sun was starting to set and he turned to Thomas. “well Thomas, it was nice meeting you but I think it’s getting a little too late for you to be outside, and you don’t wanna worry your parents.”

Thomas looked very sad, he didn’t wanna say goodbye to his new friend yet. “But I still need to guess your name!”

Rubellite frowned at the little kid’s sad expression, but then he got an idea.

“Well, I suppose because it’s getting late and you’re so tiny-”

“Hey!”

“It would be irresponsible of me to let you go home all by yourself. So maybe I can walk with you till you get home and you can try to guess my name. How does that sound?”

“That sounds fun! But what if you also try to guess my favorite Disney movie?”

“Alright, it’s on!”

And as the two started walking towards Thomas’s house, despite everything that had happened that day, Rubellite felt truly happy.

[beckstriad]

Huntress

Spike [Masterlist] CW: Swearing, as always Keep it cool man, keep it cool.

Bouncing slightly from one foot to another, Spike tried to not look as revved up as he felt. It’d been almost half a year since he’d last slept with someone - only a handful of times in all -  and too many false starts since. His mind was torturing him with images of what the girl who was coyly holding onto his waistband would look like when they… Gotta get to the place first man, keep it together...Shit! An angry looking girl wearing a plastic dress was giving him hell but he hardly heard, “Sorry!” He kept going, one thing on his mind gotta get out of here quick… 

Weaving through the crowd would seem easy for someone as ridiculously tall as him, but towering over the crowd meant it was easy to knee someone short if you weren’t paying attention.  It did provide a convenient excuse for the girl he was leading through the crowd to follow behind him  and play with his waist band as she clung to him so they wouldn’t be separated. 

Finally out in the cool air after collecting his backpack from coat-check he leaned against the signpost as they waited for a taxi to hail, mimicking being more drunk than he was. Spike missed the way alcohol let him relax more, but it also made him do stupid shit and he’d lost some tail because of it before. Plus he couldn’t afford it right now, so his rounds had been water shots for him, and Becky was fortunately a cheap drunk and willing to 50/50 the rounds. Speaking of, the cropped-black haired girl before him running her hands up under his shirt was driving him wild, “I’m cold” she giggled, and then attempted to jump up on his hips. Easily scooping her up he grinned stupidly, sloshed on the promise of what was to come and her plush skin under his hands, “I know how to warm you up…”  “Oh you’re strong!” She sounded surprised, then almost spit in his face as she giggled and tried to fix the hurt expression on his face “you’re just so scrawny...I mean! Lean! Or some shit I dunno.” It was true, and Spike had wanted to fix it but he’d always been the skinny kid, it only exaggerated his height further and gave him a beanpole look; he didn’t take kindly to Groot references no matter how well meaning they were. Now he struggled to eat two square meals a day so bulking up and fueling workouts was a pipe dream. “Runner’s build, baby.” Easy lies to cover up the werewolf strength, she couldn’t know about that. “Us tall guys, yea you know short guys bulk easy but we got these long limbs right? So the muscle spreads out, hides it you know?” The taxi pulled up shortly and they piled in, getting to the hotel without leaving too many marks on each other’s necks. Reaching into his back pocket, Spike’s face fell “mother fucker! Someone fucking jacked my wallet! Fuck!” He looked over at the girl who watched him with an unimpressed expression, “look uh...spot the cab and the room and I’ll just transfer you the cash once we got the total, yea?” She sighed but went for it and Spike prayed to every god he could name, though he believed in none of them, a prayer of thanks.  The light in the cab was dim as she pulled out the card and tried to quickly hand it to the driver, but as she tapped it down on the machine her surname was enough for Spike’s low-light vision to read. Cabrillo.  Benefits of being a werewolf in human form include, but are not limited to; increased strength, increased speed, low light vision and increased smell and hearing. Spike drew on the other supernatural feats as he burst from the cab and took off down the street. Fuck me fuck me fuuuuuuuuck me of course she’s a FUCKING hunter can’t I catch a break for fuck’s sake. How lucky had he been before? What if her last name hadn’t been that of the famous multinational hunting family that was well known for their ruthless and efficient extermination attempts on the supernatural community? What a stupid bitch though, haha! Dumbass. The roar of an engine cut his thoughts off as he pumped his legs faster, leaning hard as he careened into an alley but they didn’t stop. His eyes searched the alley in the bouncing headlights that were catching up behind him, and he spotted his chance in the form of a big green dumpster just up ahead. Jumping high and scrambling as his shoes slipped on the metal lid, he managed to stand just as the car squealed to a stop beside him. He heard the window rolling down as he jumped off and ran full speed back down the alley that was too narrow for them to turn around in. “SHIT!” His voice, high pitched with desperation and fear, was lost to the echo of gunshots as they fired a few shots in the hope of getting lucky at the retreating figure.  The world brightened as he ran back out onto the street, only to flinch hard as the bullet ricocheted off the bricks beside him. “FUCK, lady!” Becky stood strong, chest heaving but legs braced and arms steady as she aimed again. Taking his chances and knowing that running was what he did best, Spike took off into the street as a large dump truck came rumbling towards him. Grabbing the handles he cursed as a foot slipped and his heart stopped, but he managed to hold on and get his feet back under him. Standing on the bumper and ignoring his aching, twisted shoulder, he flipped a middle fingered salute to the cursing woman.  As the truck rounded the corner he saw the car backing out of the alley, fuck fuck shit! Climbing up the ladder, he cursed the fates that decided to mock him at every turn of his life one fucking joke eh? You all think this is fucking funny huh? Maybe he did believe in those gods afterall, and was going to do everything he could to spite them. The truck passed close to a fire escape and he jumped, heart in his throat as he flew with nothing under his paws, feet you fucking furry! FEET! Hands and feet landed with a clang and he made no attempt to quiet them as he scrambled up to the roof as quickly as possible.  Rolling over the edge and collapsing onto the tarred gravel, he tried to listen for the car through the rush of blood in his ears and wheezing of his breath. It came racing around the corner and was attempting to catch up to the dump truck, which was taking advantage of the lack of traffic to make good time. They’d clue in he wasn’t there a few blocks away, if they stopped the truck; he hoped they would just follow it to its destination instead. Peering over the edge he saw them fall in line behind it, assuming that he was hiding in its box. Fucking. Finally. It was a small break, but he needed anything he could get.  Pulling his hood over his head and taking his backpack off, Spike hugged himself and brought his knees up to his chest to try to ward off the wind that came suddenly cold and lonely, pressing his back against the lip of the roof. He hated how something inside kept thinking like a wolf, how he wanted to shift so he could tuck his nose under his tail and his fur could keep him warm. It colored his thoughts and actions if he dropped his guard, like thinking of paws instead of feet or trying to growl at a stranger standing too close. Gritting his teeth instead, he focused on the gravel digging into his bony hips and shoulders as he lay down, the fire in his gut that threatened to rise up and burn his throat and the hot tears he tried to not let fall. Fucking. Human. I’m not a monster I just...wanted to get laid for once. A warm bed, soft body and a few moments of bliss to brighten his otherwise bleak existence was what he craved, but then this wasn’t anything new. He’d always been like this, even before the change; forgotten, unseen, alone.  Trying not to think about the money lost, money he’d chosen to spend on a pretty smile instead of food, he focused on the next move. Fuck this town. No good work here anyway. He’d leave in the morning, head for the next city over before the local wolfpack caught wind of him and tried something unsavory. Like he always did. Like he always will.  No one’s fucking being the boss of me. Fuck that shit. Independence didn’t stop the shivering but it helped cool the fire in his gut as he fought for sleep. It was better to shiver in the cold than be fed by someone’s hand. 

[alwaysbewoke]

alwaysbewoke

dickslapthestate:

ranting-rose:

ittybittykittykisses:

ranting-rose:

vgcgraveyard:

caitallolovesyou:

friendly-neighborhood-patriarch:

lazyhat:

I was pretty skeptical about the figures, since they contradict what I usually hear on the media, so I did a little research. Here’s what I found:  (Sorry this is so US centric)  (I’ll also try to stay close to primary sources as possible)

(http://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/preview/mmwrhtml/ss6308a1.htm?s_cid=ss6308a1_e)

- the 12 months before taking the survey, an estimated 4.0% of women experienced some form of physical violence by an intimate partner -an estimated 14.2% of women experienced some form of psychological aggression in the 12 months preceding the survey. -*4,774,000 women have been victims of physical violence by intimate partner in the 12 months preceding the survey -*17,091,000 women have been victims of psychological aggression by intimate partner in the 12 months preceding the survey

- the 12 months before taking the survey, an estimated 4.8% of men experienced some form of physical violence by an intimate partner -an estimated 18.0% of men experienced some form of psychological aggression in the 12 months preceding the survey. -*5,452,000 men have been victims of physical violence by intimate partner in the 12 months preceding the survey -*20,471,000 men have been victims of psychological aggression by intimate partner in the 12 months preceding the survey

*Table 6

By the data presented by the Center for Disease Control, out of the estimate of 10,226,000 yearly victims of intimate partner violence, 53.3% of victims where male and 46.6% were female. As for psychological aggression, out of the estimate of 37,562,000 yearly victims, 54.4% were male and 45.5% were female. These statistics would support the claim made in the bottom left.

Now I couldn’t find a primary source for the 70% of DV is initiated by women, but here’s the facts that I found, which may have been interpreted by the people who made this poster:

(http://www.huffingtonpost.com/glenn-sacks/researcher-says-womens-in_b_222746.html) -Women who were in a battered women’s shelter, 67% of the women reported severe violence toward their partner in the past year.

This can be interpreted as “67% of violent couples with IPV is mutual”. But then again, primary sources and full data would be helpful to back up this claim.

But the one that is most interesting is:(http://psychnews.psychiatryonline.org/newsArticle.aspx?articleid=111137)(Another report analysis from the CDC)

-23.9% of relationships are violent -50.3% of IPV is non-reciprocal and 49.7% is reciprocal (Reciprocal IPV= Mutual violence) -70.7% of non-reciprocal IPV is initiated by women. 

So summing up the numbers, it’s not that 70% of all DV is initiated by women, its that 70% of non-reciprocal DV is initiated by women. To go further would say that 49.7% of DV is mutual, 36.2% of DV is initiated by women, and 14.5% of DV is initiated by men

Male victims of domestic violence are real. They are hurting. And they often don’t get the attention and compassion they so urgently deserve and need.

Have a heart. Open your mind, and give a care.

Hm. These numbers are all so different to anything I’ve seen before. I’m reblogging and liking this both for my own reference and to spread these numbers to others. I’m definitely gonna look into this and see if I can find more sources and more information.

Mother fuckers can we all just say let’s not be dicks to our fucking love ones already?

Tagging this for my speech project that I need the sources for

Here are 221 studies on IPV / DV for y’all.

You are a life saver.

That list is good, but outdated.  I e-mailed the researcher who compiled that list a couple weeks ago and he gave me three different documents.  I uploaded them to this dropbox folder. You can go there and download them.

The list of studies is now up to 343 scholarly investigations (270 empirical studies and 73 reviews). Not only did he send me that list, but he also sent me two meta-studies (also in the dropbox folder).  One is on male/female perpetration rates and the other is on male/female victimization rates. 

There is also “Rates of Bi-directional versus Uni-directional Intimate Partner Violence Across Samples, Sexual Orientations, and Race/Ethnicities: A Comprehensive Review“.  It’s a mouthful to be sure. Basically this study took the data from 48 other empirical studies, collated the data, placed it online for public viewing, submitted it for peer review, and was found to be accurate. 

It’s findings basically wind down to this:

84% of relationships are non-violent

58% of relationships that are violent, both partners abuse the other.

28% of violent relationships only the woman is violent

14% of violent relationships only the man is violent.

This is featured Partner Abuse State of Knowledge Project website and is part of a much larger DV research project.  You can read the summarized findings here or take a gander at the full 61-page review.  This is a compilation of the research of Erin Pizzey, Murray Strauss, Don Dutton, and many others who are challenging the feminist model of patriarchal dominance. They also have some videos that are very informative as well.

Murray Strauss also compiled: Thirty Years of Denying the Evidence on Gender Symmetry in Partner Violence: Implications for Prevention and Treatment.  A report detailing the existence of over 200 studies showing gender symmetry in victimization rates. Studies that show symmetry going as far back as 1975.  He also examines the methods feminist researchers have used to suppress the evidence from public discourse, hence the title “Thirty Years of Denying the Evidence”.

Two other excellent and brief videos on the topic come from the MenAreGood YouTube channel:

Male Victims of Domestic Violence - The Hidden Story

Bias Against Men and Boys in Mental Health Research

I really need to write up a solo reference post for domestic violence data…

so what do we have here? what i’ve been saying forever. women as initiators of domestic violence is one of the biggest, closely guarded secret around. we literally had female FEMINIST researchers hiding evidence. FEMINISTS!! but i’m the bad guy for stating that feminism is filled with man hatred. what would you say of men of who information about abuse women and thus allowed the abuse to continue? YOU FUCKING KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU’D SAY!! am i surprised by the research? no fucking way. we don’t teach women in society to not hit men. we only teach men to not hit women. for little boys on up we are shamed if we even defend ourselves if little girls hit us BUT NOT ONE TIME HAVE I EVER HEARD OR SEEN ANY PARENT TEACHING THEIR LITTLE OR DAUGHTER THAT THEY SHOULD NOT HIT MEN!! we always make excuses for it. “she was emotional” “he said…” “he did…” “he had it coming…” and more. this research is fantastic but let’s be honest, this post isn’t going to get many reblogs at all because most of y'all are married to the idea that women are angels and men are devils. women have no agency and are always victims of men. that only men hit and women never hit. only men can be abusers and women can never be abusers. no amount of research is going to change your minds. men have done some evil shit but i so sick and tired of this narrative that women are just innocent, perfect deities. IF SHE HITS YOU ONCE, LEAVE HER ASS QUICK!!! IF SHE DID IT ONCE, SHE’LL FUCKING DO IT AGAIN!! GUARANTEED. and one more thing, FUCK FEMINISM. hiding empirical data but standing on your high horse preaching gender equality?! fuck feminism. so fucking glad i ceased to be a fucking feminist years ago. eye wide fucking open now.

sinjia

Thank you @alwaysbewoke !!! And did you know that there are feminists on here sending hate mail just because you don’t agree with them? It’s fucking sad, but I’m so happy that you said this. It lets me know that I’m not the only one realizing the shady bullshit that they preach but never practice themselves.

alwaysbewoke

i’ve only known one feminist who was on the right side of this issue and she was so because she works in the domestic violence field as a counselor. she told me she sees it all the time. men get hit, have things thrown at them, women come at them with knives, scratches on their faces and everything and yet we never talk about it. never. the only people who we pounce on for dv are men. we never ever talk about women. never ever. and if you do, you get shouted down. fuck all that.

this is why many men when they hear “feminism” they think “ok that means i get to hit back now.” because we’re tired of the bullshit. we’re tired of women getting away with hitting because society AND FEMINISM tells them it’s fine. it’s okay. they’re allowed. feminism PROTECTS FEMALE ABUSERS ALL DAY!! my goodness. to hide evidence as a researcher is akin to a crime. the ripple affect of that shit is fucking insane. however let them tell it, it’s a problem with men that we think feminism has a man hatred problem. yea the problem is with us because feminism is perfect. feminism ain’t never do no shit, no wrong ever. srsly fuck feminism. fuck it to the depths of hell.

this is why i tell people, dealing with only ONE half of a problem will only allow the problem to continue to exist. it doesn’t change shit. if anything it makes things worse.

racist, sexist feminism. fuck off. i spit on feminism every fucking chance i get. first they fuck over black women (and black men) and then they fuck over men with this type of bullshit. i refuse to align myself with that fuckery. i can help black women much better without it. i don’t need to be a part of something that hates me both as a man and as a black person to help sistas get equal pay and shit. fuckouttahere.

that’s why i call out all these people still posting pics and riding for solange knowles. imagine if i was posting pics and niceties for ray rice. but when women do some violent bullshit, we stay given them a pass smfh. 

[dontshootmespence]

Don’t Be a Stranger

Summary: Your on-again, off-again fuck buddy Dean rolls back into town, but something about him is different this time. Will you be able to handle the change?

Pairing: MOC!Dean x Reader

Word Count: 1,929

Warnings: Rough sex, hitachi fun, butt plug, slight spanking, squirting. Good jams with desperate Dean.

A/N: For those of you 18 and over! This fulfills my “sex toys” square for @spnkinkbingo and my plugs prompt for @covered-byroses kink challenge.

Coming home smelling of cheap beer, whiskey and cigarette smoke wasn’t exactly your idea of the best job ever, but with your ample assets and ability to flirt with whoever necessary no matter how disgusting or good-looking, it paid the bills.

Pushing past the impossibly heavy door to your apartment, you peeled off your leather jacket and threw it over the back end of the couch, worn by years of passing out on it instead of your own bed. Perk of living in the middle of buttfuck nowhere was that even your pittance of a paycheck provided you with a halfway decent apartment. Clean it wasn’t, but that was your own fault, normally too tired to bother cleaning after making whatever comfort food you wanted for dinner. It was - as Goldilocks would say - just right. 

After shoveling nearly half a box of Kraft mac and cheese into your face, you went to brush your teeth and get changed. This was the one night of the week were you got off early and didn’t have work the next day. So tonight, you’d treat yourself. Light some vanilla candles, get nice and relaxed with a bubble bath, put on some silky lingerie and go to town on yourself. It was the least you deserved after six straight days of dealing with the scummiest men imaginable trying to worm their way into your pants.

You sighed happily and sauntered through the apartment, turning on the bathwater and grabbing a couple candles before tossing your vibrator on the bed. Just as you were about to slip into the steaming water, you heard a knock at the door. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

Grumpily, you pulled on a silky bathrobe and went to answer the door. Whoever it was better have had a good excuse for interrupting your one night off. You peered through the peephole and did a double take. “Dean?”

“Yea, Y/N, it’s me.”

You looked through the glass a third time. He was fidgety; he looked irritated. Normally when he showed up at your door it was because he was sliding through town yet again and the two of you had undeniable chemistry. You were fuck buddies, but you could never sleep with someone you didn’t at least care for to a degree - and Dean looked like hell.

Opening up the door, you invited him and asked if he wanted a drink. When he nodded, you fixed what you knew he drank, which you just so happened to have at home due to your similar taste in liquor. You poured a double shot into a glass, no ice of course, and brought it over to him, passing it to him without a word and watching as he tipped the entire thing back into his mouth. 

“Wanna talk about it?”

“Not really.”

Typical. He rarely opened up.

He scratched at his arm and you glanced down, seeing a mark that hadn’t been there before. Almost looked like a brand. “Something to do with that?”

“Something to do with that.”

After meeting him all those years ago - apparently he, Sam and Cas had just stopped the apocalypse in its tracks - he told you what he did for a living. You’d come into contact with a vamp once, but with Dean’s basic training, you’d taken it down. Other than that, and the fact that you knew of this whole angel and demon business, you didn’t have much knowledge of whatever insane bullshit Dean got himself into. 

“Let’s just say this mark controls me in a way.”

You moved back in your chair, silently chiding yourself for not checking him for signs of demon or vamp or whatever. “Not like that. I’m clean,” he said, pulling out a bottle of holy water and flicking it onto himself. “In a different way. And I need a distraction. The kind of distraction this Mark demands...I’m trying not to give into it. I don’t know any other way. Sam and Cas want to help, but they can’t-I-”

“Dean, it’s okay. You know I’m always down for a distraction.”

He’d already opened up more than you thought. And you didn’t necessarily need his life story if he wasn’t willing to give it. You were great in bed together and right now that was really all he needed. 

Dean smirked slightly, relief flooding his features as he pulled you into his lap and began nipping at your collarbone. “What do you need, Dean?”

“Rough,” he mumbled. “I need to fuck you senseless.”

“I’m down,” you laughed in reply, grinding against the hard denim covering his knee. “How about some toys? You can choose.”

In times like these, Dean needed control and you knew it. Plus, he was never one to leave you hanging, so you knew you’d be taken care of, no matter how soft or rough he was with you. 

Gently tossing you to the side, he nipped at the side of your neck before running into your room. He knew exactly where everything was. “This little thing?” He asked in amazement, probably referring to your vibrator. “This is nothing. I want the big guns.”

He did a little rummaging around and found what he was looking for. The hitachi. You only brought that out when you need a quick, easy, powerful orgasm. “Robe off,” he commanded as he walked out with the wand in hand. 

You did as he demanded and let it drop to the floor. Out of the corner of your eye, you could see your stainless steel butt plug, with a green jewel at the end of course, shining in his side pocket. Removing it from his pants pocket, he placed the tip at your mouth. “You’re going to get this nice and wet and then I’m going to fill up your tight little ass.” Moaning around the plug, you began teasing your nipples as he continued detailing every depraved thing he wanted to do to you - what he needed to do to you. “Then I’m going to take my belt and fasten this wand straight on your clit and fuck you from behind until you come so many times that you can’t move from the floor.”

You’d gotten rough before, but normally not like this - not that you were objecting. It just proved that something was different about him even though you didn’t fully understand.

Dean pulled you close and dipped his head to you nipple, pulling one roughly into his mouth and biting down so hard you gasped out loud. “Am I going to have to keep you quiet?”

“You keep doing things like that, hell yea.”

He grasped you bottom lip between his teeth and growled at the slickness between your legs. He’d barely touched you and yet here you were. “Down on the floor. Face down, ass up.”

Once more, he slipped the plug into your mouth before pushing it into your ass. “That slid in pretty easily. You play with your own ass or is that just for partners?”

“Little bit of both.”

“God, you’re amazing.” By the time Dean was happy with the plug’s position, you could feel your pussy dripping. He gave your ass a playful smack before placing the hitachi against your clit and ensuring it stayed in place by fastening his belt around your waist. 

Even though he started it on the lowest setting, you knew you were in for an experience, even by Dean standards. “Who’s my perfect little slut?”

“I am,” you breathed, a dreamy smile setting upon your face as he placed himself at your entrance. The subtle rumble of the wand on your clit intensified as he slid into your heat, a guttural moan escaping from Dean’s lips. 

He pulled out, almost painstakingly slow, leading you into a false sense of security that shattered like glass as he thrust back into you with one, hard, smooth movement. “God, your pussy is so tight.” You wanted to respond, to say something that might indicate the depth of your need, but as he thrusted back into you, pointed, sharp movements driving your clit down onto the wand over and over again, nothing came out. Nothing but strangled cries and bone deep whimpers.

As he picked up the pace, the intensity becoming more than you ever imagined or experienced, he slipped his hand underneath you to flick the switch on hitachi and up the speed. “Oh fuck! Oh my God, Dean!” 

At your outburst, Dean yanked on the belt, pulling you upward and flush against him. His hand found its way to your mouth and covered it. “You remember last time I was here? You made too much noise and got the landlord called on you? Don’t want to do that again, do you?”

You shook your head and bit your lip, stifling the moan that rumbled up from within as you got lost in the pace of his thrusts and the intensity of the wand and the way your ass gripped tightly onto the metal plug, puckering with each movement.

When he pushed you back down toward the ground, he smacked your ass, the sting of it sending you into a tailspin of begging. “Please, Dean! Please, make me cum. Please, please, please-”

Again he pinned you to the ground, upping the speed of the wand one final time  as he wiggled the plug inside you. “Gonna come in this tight little pussy.”

With one final thrust you came apart, a warm liquid flowing onto the ground below you while your clit throbbed and your pussy tightened around Dean’s cock. “Oh, fuck,” you mumbled into the floor.

You were a bowl of jelly, completely pliable and up for anything Dean had in store. Whether or not you could take much more, you weren’t sure. But instead of taking you to the edge of the universe and back, he flipped you over and turned the wand off, removing the belt from around your waist and removing the plug, letting it fall from his hand with a thud. “What a little slut, do you always squirt when you’re not in control?”

“Only by myself, never had someone make me,” you managed to say, your body still shaking. “How about we get in the shower you interrupted me taking and then I can ride you like there’s no tomorrow?”

Even though he’d just fucked you into next week, Dean’s irritation was evident, the mark on his arm almost burning with an unslakable lust for something you couldn’t place. “Sorry, sweetheart,” he said, lifting you up like a doll and carrying you into the bathroom. “But I gotta go before I do something I regret.”

“What the hell could that be?” 

He turned the bath water on and filled the tub, shaking the last thoughts of confiding in someone away. “You don’t want to know. That’s what this is, right? All fucking, no talking. You don’t need to know what a shitshow my life is. I won’t do that to you.” The last words he spoke came out almost like a whisper, voice cracking from a burden he was barely holding steady. 

After placing you in the tub, he bent down and kissed you, lingering for just a moment before turning away. “I’ll see you.”

“Of course, Dean,” you replied, sinking into the bath water, almost melting into it. You wanted him to stay, to unburden himself of the fuckery, but you knew it was a lost cause, at least right now. “Don’t be a stranger, okay?” 

“With you, no chance. Can’t stay away forever.”

[dangodaifuku]

Omg okay so I spend an unnecessary amount staring at your art but your anatomy and proportions are AMAZING. Can I ask how you learned to do poses and anatomy so well? The way you draw hands and poses and just EVERYTHING is so good and I wanna get better at that lmao

First of all, please accept my sincerest gratitude for believing not just some of my arts, but EVERYTHING?? are worthy of such compliments. Thank you so damn much!! You are very sweet, I love you! 💖💖✨💖😍😘

Now moving on to the main thing here, i'm not even sure where to start but generally tipping you that OBSERVATION (and a heck ton of PATIENCE) is the key. I can just say “practice more” but it's useless unless u know what to practice. To be honest I’m still learning myself, so I kinda feel like I’m not the right person to be asked this. But I also feel I could share some if I could be of help. So brace yourself because this is gonna end up very long lol

When i said observation, i was meaning that you’ll be studying endlessly. hmm sorry bout the news but yea. You have to have a lot of patience observing everything (or maybe at least to the area of your interest - Humans/Anime/Otome characters) You need to study references every time you’ll draw. It’s nice to draw from memory but I strongly advise you to pick up references always. Don't feel like you’re cheating when u do this. Afterall, real life is basically the foundation of most arts. Like how can one draw hands if they haven’t seen one right? I always rummage through google images for everything. Or use my own body parts. I always have my hands pose to what i wish to draw and take pictures of it on different angles. Like you may think u know how something looks like but when you get to drawing it, u suddenly don't know how to or it doesn't end up looking like it’s supposed to. 

Let’s say you’ve already gathered up your references, now for poses its best to start drawing by a break down of shapes. You don't need to sweat on the details right away. You need to plot the general form and positioning before you proceed on the detailing. You can detail as much as you want later on. Using sticks as guidelines is very common to many artists but I prefer them in shapes. It depends on which method you are more comfortable with.

For proportions, body parts sizes differ from one another. It depends on you too actually, however you want them. But for the sake of being close to “realism” I had this as my “personal observation”.  Not that I claim its uniquely mine but just because some/all of it may be true or not. I mean that's either how I see things or how they usually look like. Lol sorry i hope i do not confuse you. But anyway here’s how I keep them as proportional as I can. Please just ignore things you already know XD

Take note, its best to give your all into sketching. I find it too hard to redefine the whole art after final lines are done.

I make the head as my base for the rest of the body parts’ sizes. So here we see an egg. Watch out for the neck. I tend to make it very long unconsciously. Shoulders can be the same length as head or a little more. They don't need to be so exact tho. It also it differs with age, etc.

For torso, I make the speaker shape for men and hourglass for women. Again this only applies to certain age cap. The length is like two and a half heads.

For the arms, elbows fall on same level where pelvic bone starts. 

For legs, they are the same length as torso.

For hands, they are the same as head. And feet are a little longer.

Sorry to break this after all that but it’s a different story when perspective is applied and I don't even wanna start on it lol! 

Okay, I think that’s all I have for now. In contrast to everything, I would say these:

You don't have to follow these strictly, I can’t even follow them all the time.

You don’t have to do all the guides coz heck it takes up too much time. These are just for the sake of illustrating coz i am not good with words. You can just do rough estimates while sketching.

Additional tip, zoom in and out your sketch several times before finalizing it. This way you can see clearly if something is out of proportion or if something looks awkwardly positioned. Take time to reassess it over and over. Don't stop reforming it till you think it's finally good and satisfies you!

Also I tend to have a loooooooooooooot of layers. Like almost every line stroke, i do it on new layer. Luckily for me, they are made unlimited. And since they are, abuse it! Just don't forget to make folders and name them, or maybe merge the ones that belong on certain group. With this, it's a lot easier to manipulate them to your liking without messing up parts u think are already perfect. And did I mentioned the lasso tool is my best friend? Yes it helps me 95% in every drawing. It's not cheating. It’s being more effective.

Last thing, i don't really always have it best. It's just all my fail drawings never gets to be posted. XD

I hope this helps and that you’d have more fun and keep on drawing! ^u^)/

[tvntae]

She’s Too Clingy 12

Reader x Min Yoongi

Plot: Yoongi seems to always take his frustrations out on you. Have you finally reached your boiling point?

Genre: Angst. Happy ending maybe?

Word Count: 2.7k

///.

It was pitch dark out when You and Yoongi finally got into your car. You’d made a quick stop to the convenient store as promised, to pick up a few snacks. Yoongi wouldn’t leave without buying a case of beer so you picked that up as well. You had your suspicions as to why he was so adamant over getting the beers but, you let it go. Choosing to just stay positive and let Yoongi have his way, as per usual. Maybe a few beers wouldn’t be so bad. It will at least be something to calm your nerves. You were a little skeptical about having Yoongi over and it was just so late out. He might end up passing out and you wouldn’t have a choice but to allow him to sleep over. And Yoongi hated the couch, it gave him terrible back and neck pains, so you’d have no choice but to give up your nice, comfortable, warm bed for the old, hard, cold couch you even hated sitting on sometimes. Sleeping together in the bed wasn’t a choice for you. Hopefully, Yoongi wasn’t thinking about drinking a little more than usual tonight. Because, when he does he can get a little too touchy. And little touches turn into other things. You didn’t have the time to be seduced by Yoongi tonight. Not yet anyway. Not at all. 

“Hey, Soju or Hite, maybe?” Yoongi ponders which brand of alcoholic beverages to buy. Asking you as if you could decipher between the taste. You weren’t the drinker, he was. All you wanted were some Biscuit Oreo Sticks and some Honey Butter Chips. Just ya know... normal snacks. You exhale a sigh of relief once you notice Yoongi takes your silence as disinterest and picks up Soju. It will pair great with those honey chips you have in your cart, though, so you can’t complain. 

Yoongi offered to pay for you, again. Though you are a little tight on money, you didn’t feel comfortable for him to pay for you a second time tonight. You two always agreed to take turns paying. Equality, you called it. He laughed in your face, of course. Saying something along the lines of ‘men are always supposed to pay, it’s just the way the world works.’ Well, not in your world. You didn’t want Yoongi to think you were that broke. I mean, you were that broke but he didn’t need to know that. 

Because it was so late many people weren’t out and about, which was a good thing, people wouldn’t be able to bother Yoongi. He had his mask though, just in case someone was to notice him. Thank God that no one did, or you’d both be screwed. Well, Yoongi even screweder. You wondered what it felt like, to be caught. You saw other idols out with their significant others via news outlets, but it was never that way with Yoongi. Hell, no one knew he had a girlfriend until recently and it wasn’t even you they were referring to. It was some other chick he’d met a while back. The one he swore up and down he wasn’t fucking. Obviously, he was. Maybe not when the two of you were together, you had your doubts about that too, but you were for sure he’s had sex with her recently.  

After checking out you two headed towards your car. You let Yoongi drive since he was a much better driver than you at night. You couldn’t help but steal glances towards his way from time-to-time. He looked great all focused and stuff. “Something you need?” Yoongi teases you, noticing for the past 3 minutes you’d been staring at him. He didn’t mind, he found it cute. He was also hit with a little nostalgia. Thinking of the times you two would go on random rides to the city. When it was hot out and you two would go out and get ice cream. He missed that. He missed you. 

///

Settling into the house, Yoongi flops down on the couch in front of the t.v and you set up Netflix while he sets the snacks and beers out. “Anything, in particular you wanna watch?” You ask him as you flop down next to him. He shrugs his shoulder, telling you he doesn’t mind what you pick. He always sucked at choosing, you think. But to be frank, so did you. You decide on AHS since you hadn’t started season 7 just yet. 

“So what’s it like living alone? Don’t you get bored? Lonely?” Yoongi was curious as to how you managed to live on your own after all these months. He'd actually thought you’d get a roommate after he moved out. It seemed like something you would do anyway. You weren’t really the type to live alone. You were easily scared, especially at night. He remembers all too well that night when you woke him up because you thought someone was breaking in. He was so angry at you that day. He was actually angry at you for an entire week. Now that he thinks about it, he can’t help but feel stupid. He ignored you, even when he needed you he ignored you. His ego was far too big at the time and he has a hard time trying to figure out why. He worked so hard to win you over, only for him to fuck everything up way beyond repair. He can’t just say sorry now and wish that all is well. No, he has to prove himself to you. Like really prove himself. 

You knew there wasn’t any malice intent behind Yoongi’s questions. They were a little personal, yes but, he wasn't an ass. Yoongi wasn’t that way by choice, or so you’d convinced yourself that. No, he was just interested in your life as of late.

“It’s been rough like I said, I struggled for a while, a place like this isn’t cheap, but its nice here. I’m okay alone.” You take a sip from the beer Yoongi had handed you a few minutes ago. I’ll use it as liquid courage. For some reason, you felt like you were really going to need it tonight. 

Alcohol never really was your thing. You were a social drinker. You drank at events, you know weddings, parties, outings with friends, things as such. But drinking wasn’t for you. You didn’t feel the need to buy a pack of coronas when you were at the store to bring back home. You didn’t ‘crack open a cold one’ or whatever people say, with your buddies. It wasn’t you. Yoongi, on the other hand, was the opposite. He drank whatever and whenever he wanted. He didn’t care and neither did you. That was just him. You kind of had to train yourself to hold liquor better if you were to keep up with the big dogs. The big dogs being Yoongi and the rest of BTS. Yoongi took notice of you trying and he seemed proud of you. It was one of the few times you saw him truly happy about something you did for him. Everything else always seemed to go to shit. 

Yoongi nods his head after you finish up your sentence, showing you he understands you.

///

You two sat in silence for a while. You sipped at your beer from time-to-time, not wanting to drink too much tonight, since it was so late. Yoongi, however, was already on his third, looking sort of out of it and red faced. He was more quiet than usual. You were appreciative about it, it gave you some time to think a little, get your thoughts together in case this night goes completely left. 

“You okay over there, Y/n? You’re awfully quiet tonight,” He laughs. He could tell you were in pretty deep thought. He thought maybe you were a little tipsy but he noticed you’ve been nipping on the same soju bottle for the past hour and a half. You weren’t even paying attention to the show, just causally staring off into space. You ignore his question and ask your own: 

“Wanna play a game?” You turn your body completely towards him.

“Is this where I die? Because that question sounds pretty damn ominous,” Yoongi snorts. “What kind of game, though?  Truth or Dare? Cuz you seriously suck at that, you never want to do dare.”

“Na, not Truth or Dare.” you send him a smirk, “Let’s play something like 20 questions only it’s not 20 questions. We ask each other questions and answer honestly. Whatever we want, no limitations. You in?” 

“Yea I am, you suck at stuff like this anyway. Is there a prize for first place?” 

“Why would you get a prize for telling the truth Yoongs? I’ll go first,” You laugh

He shrugs his shoulders not seeing the point in asking any further questions. You came up with the idea because you still needed those answers. You had so many questions and you were a little too nervous to ask. You had so many you didn’t know where to begin. You chug back the rest of your beer and ask something that’s been probing at your brain for the longest time.

“Have you fucked her?”  The question was clear as day. As much as it pained you to think about it, you at least had the right to know. Right?

You could see Yoongi was physically uncomfortable with that question. Good, you think, as long as he tells the truth that’s all that matters. 

He gulps a large portion of his drink, sets it down and rubs his hands together. He was nervous. More nervous than ever tonight. He could feel his stomach doing flips and he almost felt like vomiting. Why was it so hard to tell you the truth? Would he feel better if he lied to you? Could you tell if he did lie? Was it even worth lying? This is an honesty game.

Maybe this was a test. She’s just trying to see if she can still trust me, he thinks. The last thing he wants to do is fuck this all up, again, for the umpteenth time. He didn’t have all lifetime to prove to you he could be better. And you definitely wouldn’t wait around for him for such a long time. 

“Yes,” he coughs, “yes, I have.”

You hum at his honesty, grateful he did not lie to you. You weren’t as sad as you had thought you would be about the truth. He told it and that’s all that really matters. 

You sigh and gesture towards Yoongi to ask his question. 

“Why didn’t you move somewhere you could afford instead of saying here ?”

“Well,” you start, “because I was waiting for you to come back home I guess. I thought that if you knew I wasn’t going anywhere then you would just show back up. I needed you and I thought that need was mutually exclusive. So I just... stayed for you. After 2 months I saw you really were not coming back and I gave up hope. I stayed for you, for us.” That felt so good to get off your chest. In no way were you trying to make Yoongi feel guilty about anything but a little, tiny piece of you was really hoping he did. You did stay for him. And once you came to your senses, it was much too late to leave. 

“I didn’t know that...” Yoongi says quite wide-eyed.

“Of course you wouldn’t, we didn’t communicate at all once you left. As much as I wanted to text you I never had the balls. Figured since you didn’t text me you were really done for good with me. Seeing as you’re here now... I see you aren’t quite yet.”

“How could I be?” He laughs, “Your turn now, ask away. Do your worst.”

“Let’s see,” “ were you happy after you moved out?”

“No, Never. At the time I thought I would be but I was just never found what I was looking for.”

“What were you looking for?” You ask another question, out of turn, yes but curiosity got to you. 

“You, or at least the imitation of you. I couldn’t stop thinking about you. How much I fucked up the best thing God has ever given me. I was scared for a little while, honestly thought my life was over. You were the only stable person that’s ever been in my life, so I was upset for some time. Can’t blame anyone but me though, huh?”

“What about you, did you ever find just a slither of happiness once I left?”

“Uh, well the house was quieter, didn’t have to wake anyone up in the mornings but myself, so yea I had a tiny bit of happiness after you left.” You flash Yoongi a smile, one he hadn’t seen in so long. The one that showed all your teeth. He loved that one the most because of the way your eyes scrunched up. He couldn’t help but smile himself,  not being able to resist you.

“You’re still as beautiful as I remember,” Yoongi says, making you blush.

“Pretty sure that’s not a question and besides, it isn’t your turn anymore!” You exclaim and slap his shoulder jokingly. Sending him into a fit of giggles.

“Anyways, why did you never let me have a dog?”

“That’s your question?” He laughs at you, shocked that you went down that road, again.

“Yes, it’s a serious question now answer it.” You protested. 

“I didn’t want a dog in the house because you’re not responsible enough. Remember that fish we bought from the pet store and I went on tour soon after that? Yea well you never fed him and so he died. You forget to do things what makes you think you wouldn’t forget to feed a puppy,”

“Dogs are bigger, that’s why I wouldn’t forget. They ask for food fish don’t.” You defended your self as best you could. Probably wasn’t enough to convince him but for now, it’ll do.

///

A few beers in and a couple questions later you find yourself a little too drunk for comfort. You weren’t supposed to get this fucked up tonight but you were having too much fun to care. Being with him was fun. You both even forgot the whole ‘honest game’ thing because you just wanted to conversate now. You didn’t mind and from the looks of it, he didn’t either. As drunk as Yoongi was, you knew you’d have no choice but to let him stay the night. At this point sleeping in the same bed together did not sound like such a bad idea anymore. You’d be damned if you had to sleep on that couch. 

“You’re staying the night, you know that, right? I can’t let you go out in public like... this,” you gesture your hand up and down to show Yoongi just how much of a mess he looks.

He grunts at you, too far gone to speak or maybe just too lazy to speak. 

“You really are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen,” Yoongi tells you, a little slurred but he was able to get it out.

“That might be the first time I’ve ever heard you say that.”

“I should have told you that more but...look at me while I’m talking to you Y/n,” Yoongi grabs ahold of your chin and looks you right in your eyes. You were so close to his face you could smell his cologne, he smelled of sandalwood with a hint of mint. The soju he’d been drinking all night was the most prominent smell but you didn’t mind. 

You forgot how soft his face was. How gorgeous his eyes were. You could feel yourself being pulled in by him, slowly. 

You couldn’t find it in yourself to care that Yoongi might be staying the night for a completely different reason than before. 

to be continued…

masterlist

[virtuissimo]

Pride by Ibi Zoboi (Review)

This book is a modern retelling of the Jane Austen’s seminal classic Pride & Prejudice. Zuri Luz Benitez is a black Haitian-Dominican teenager in her senior year of high school whose identity is constructed around her life in Bushwick, a neighborhood with a tight community that is going through aggressive gentrification. Across the street, in one of the new gentrified houses, the Darcy family moves in, including twins Ainsley and Darius, two rich private-school boys sticking out like a fish out of water.

Zoboi’s adaptation creates amazing parallels when compared one-to-one with P&P, but it can’t hold its own very well. The writing is a simplistic and the characterization for most of the named characters is extremely one-dimensional. I was taken a bit by surprise when I found it in the youth section, and the simple writing makes me confused about the age of the intended audience. In any case, I didn’t have a bad time reading this, but I was expecting a lot more than I got.

To expand a little on the intended audience, I think my confusion is mostly because of the conflicting styles. On one hand, Zoboi’s prose is very simple and almost hamfisted in how she handles her characters and story. Other than some nice and age-appropriate poetry from Zuri herself, the rest of the book isn’t very elegant in writing quality. So I said to myself, ok I found it in the youth section. It’s intended for a younger audience. However, all the central characters are in their senior year of high school, and there are numerous allusions to sex and cusses that I’m not sure would fly in middle fiction. I think those who are in this reading level will find the characters too old and teenagery, while those who are the main character’s ages will find the prose to be lacking. Zuri in specific is a voracious reader, and she herself would not have the patience to enjoy reading this book which is far below her reading level.

It’s easier to read this book for what it’s supposed to be saying rather than what it is saying, if that makes any sense. For instance, Darius when he first shows up is quiet and doesn’t offer much information about himself, but he also wasn’t very rude or belligerent upon first impression. I know “prejudice” is half the thing, but Zuri really jumps the gun and kind of started the whole feud in the first place. It just wasn’t that believable that he was some jerk who deserved her hatred like it was with Elizabeth Bennet, and similarly it wasn’t very believable when she later learns that she just misinterpreted his social awkwardness.

Also, I thought it was interesting that the title removed the “prejudice” when to me that seemed like a much bigger aspect of this version than in Austen’s work. For instance, Darius makes a number of disparaging remarks about Bushwick and its “ghetto” people, but even before he makes these remarks Zuri already “hates” him based on stuff she made up about him in her head. And then later, when they begin to get closer, she actually never confronts him about his prejudice and just. Forgives and forgets.

She also forgives and forgets when it comes to Ainsley and Janae. This bothered me a lot more than some of my other nitpicking because it actually changes one of the important themes of P&P. Not that Zoboi doesn’t have the right to alter thematic elements—she absolutely does! But the theme of family and the fact that Zuri would do ANYTHING for her sisters is told to the reader through a lot of exposition, but we don’t actually see it. The moment in the car when she finds out that Darius split up Ainsley and Janae is really representative of that for me. She got angry in the moment, but she never actually investigates to find out WHY he did it like Elizabeth in P&P. On that note, later on when she forgives him, she never asks him to account for it again.

In fact, character motivation and appropriate emotional buildup was a recurring issue in this book. Nothing hit quite like I think Zoboi intended them to.

The talk on gentrification and class difference is good tho. Perhaps incomplete, but there’s only so much space. They really show how class plays a role in a variety of different circumstances and scenarios, and I think Zoboi succeeds here where others have failed.

Some of the parallels that I liked:

-          Warren and Colin took me OUT when they first appeared. You can really see what Zoboi thinks about Mr. Wickham and Mr. Collins from the original lol.

-          The tour of Howard instead of touring the Darcy home was very interesting to me. I think it was a great introduction to how she wasn’t expecting her world to expand so much, and that there’s a lot of different experiences in the world that she’s missing, and she gets introduced to this idea by people who AREN’T Darius and Ainsley. I really liked that.

-          The leopard print and “inappropriate dress” that the Benitez family wore to the Darcy cocktail party. It seems like a good way to show how respectability politics still play into the modern day, and it added a bit of character to the Benitez family as a prototypical Latinx family that I really enjoyed.

-          The Warren and Georgia situation was also a good way to translate this into the modern day.

-          P&P: In order to avoid scandal, Darcy pays for a marriage between a 16 year old and a 20-something known scumbag, and this is seen as a good thing because it saved the Bennet family. Zoboi’s Pride: Darius beats the shit out of Warren. I REALLY CRIED, THIS IS WHAT I WANT OUT OF AN ADAPTATION.

Things I didn’t like so much:

-          Ainsley x Janae is treated like a veeery minor side story instead of being a secondary plot. One of the big things in P&P is that Jane and Bingley are the prototypical pure love story and they think they are the main characters. Ainsley and Janae are not given much space to breathe in the narrative, and their relationship comes across as an afterthought instead of as one of the principal plot threads.

-          The diversion with Darius’ grandmother was also thrown in there like an afterthought. It didn’t add much to the story other than showing that Darius will side with Zuri when push comes to shove. It still felt like it took up a lot more time than it needed to if the grandmother wasn’t going to appear again at the end of the book like in the original. If it’s role to the plot was going to be minimized like that, I don’t really understand why it was included at all.

-          Charlise and Colin as a pair also felt out of place. In the original, Mr. Collins and Charlotte weren’t a major part of the story, but they contributed to the narrative that Austen wanted to tell about marriage and the different types of marriages that exist in English society at the time. Charlise and Colin don’t really have that effect on the story at all. Both characters are completely irrelevant to the plot (except Colin in the last possible moment), and they’re only really there to BE an adaptation.

-          Some of the plot beats were rearranged. I didn’t mind this so much since any number of directorial decisions are valid so long as the have a positive impact on the adaptation’s goal, but I didn’t really see how they added much.

One thing I REALLY liked was the addition of Madrina. I’m not sure if she’s a reference to something I don’t remember from the text or a completely original addition, but I thought she made for some really interesting moments. I especially loved how much connection Zuri felt with her Orisha worship and that they called her “daughter of Ochun.” I would change NOTHING about this, it was pure and really sweet.

One adaptation I WISH Zoboi had made was to have Zuri call out Darius’ hypocrisy. In P&P, the Bennetts are certainly in a different social class from Darcy and the Bingleys, but they’re ultimately still property owners in Britain. The stakes are different here. Darius keeps talking about how things in his life aren’t perfect just because he’s rich (which is absolutely true, especially when Zoboi starts getting into his experience as a black teenager surrounded by white classmates), but he is STILL not really understanding the difference in experience between himself and Zuri. The thing is, although she’s not right to judge Darius’ whole personality, she absolutely IS right about a lot of his privilege at the very beginning, but she kind of lets that go after a while. Zuri confronts Darius about his wealth many times, but to me at least it doesn’t really seem like she was able to convince him that his whole outlook on life is fundamentally different because of his wealth. Idk maybe I’m grasping at straws here. I just wish that Darius had actually talked about like . trying to persuade his parents to donate more to charity, or doing community service, or idk DISTRIBUTING THE WEALTH. Darius doesn’t change much in the story. At the beginning, he’s like “sorry im rich but lmfao you’re being mean to me!” and then at the end he is like “I am simply a rich boy, I cannot change this” which is barely a difference at all.

Anyways. I really didn’t hate this book. I wanted to like it a lot more than I did, which is why I have all these criticisms about it.

I recommend this to anyone who wants to read a thoughtprovoking discussion on class through the lens of one of history’s most overrated love stories (speaking as someone who loves P&P: yea it’s overrated). Read it for Zuri and Darius, who are totally different people from Elizabeth and Darcy. Read it for nostalgia, because even though I don’t know what it feels like to be one of 5 Afrolatine kids in Bushwick, I Felt that family affection.

3/5 for having great ideas but not such great execution.

[catch22inareddress]

Invidentia: Chapter Four: Versus Finem

You snuck into the kitchen when you heard some footsteps roaming around the living room and grabbed the closest weapon available which was a frying pan. You put your back flush to the wall as the heavy steps rounded the corner and pulled the pan up, ready for the impending assault. As the intruder came into the swinging range you let loose and hit him in the gut and with a loud grunt as he hit the floor and you stood above him ready for the second wave. "Holy fuck Rapunzel. It's me!" Hands it the air you saw the flicker of light hit the metal on his arm and you put the arm holding the pan down to your side. "Oh shit, Bucky. I-I'm sorry. I just...are you ok?" He let out a deep chuckle and slowly got up and stood in front of you. "Um. Yea. Just never believed that a frying pan was actually a good weapon, who knew right?" You smirked at the reference but turned to the kitchen and dropped the pan on the counter when the realization of why you were here and why you attacked him with the said pan in the first place.  "Bucky, I think it would be best if you leave." He was standing behind you close enough to grab you if you ran but not close enough to smother you. "I can't do that doll. I need you to talk to me. You just bolted earlier, I-I'm sorry if I scared you but ...he scared me when he had his hands on you.

You turned around to face him and saw the pain and regret in his eyes and it made you ill because you were the cause of it. This man had been through so much and he deserves so much more than this...from you. "Which is why you should just leave me. I'm no good for you. I'm going to be leaving for a bit which should make things easier. I have a cousin that works for the London division and she asked me to come pay her a visit for a month ....or a few months. Until this dies down."

You turned to walk away but he grabbed your arm and pulled you back with a bit of force earning a gasp from the slight pain, at times he forgot his strength even though you know he would never intentionally hurt you and would beat himself up for days over leaving a bruise. "Until 'us' dies down!? This feeling that I have for you isn't just going to go away doll. I've been waiting for you all my life and that's a fucking long time. I'm not just going to let you walk out without a fight." You snatched your arm away. "All of you are the same. You think you can make me do something just because you want me to. Well, you can't. I'm not property and you can't make me do anything. " He stood back like you slapped him and you regretted the words as soon as they left your lips. You just lumped him with that piece of the shit, Chase. All because he grabbed your arm because he wasn't just going to give up on you. But it was for the best? Wasn't it? You fought the immediate urge to go to him.

His voice was quiet when he spoke. "You know I'm not like him, even though I deserve that. I didn't mean to scare you when I beat him up. But I would do it again in a heartbeat. He touched my girl and no one hurts you or touches you." He wiped his eye with his thumb and tucked his hair behind his hears. "Look, I can't promise you sunshine and rainbows but hell woman. I would walk through hell for you. If you need time. You've got it, however long you need. I waited this long for you I can wait for however long you need to clear your head. But I know the feelings that I have are not just going to die down. You're my anchor in the storm and what brings me back from the edge when I'm about to fall over." Tears gently ran down your cheeks as he exposed himself and his voice cracked at his words and he bit his lip. "I know you aren't property but..doll. I'm ol' fashioned. I like saying your my girl. My woman. I don't mean offense. I'd never make you do anything you didn't want to do so I leave it to you to tell me what you want me to do. I'm yours. However, you want me for as long as you want me." You stared at him and he looked like a broken man in front of you. You replayed the words in your mind. He said he didn't regret what he did to Chase among everything.

"You don't blame me for nearly beating Chase to death?" His brows stitched together in confusion and he took a stutter step closer to you. "N-No. He was attacking you Y/N. I'm only sorry I stopped." You shook your head. "I thought for sure that you were going to blame m---" He cut you off. "Is that what this is about?" You nodded slowly. " You just deserve better than what I can give you right now. My life is a mess and then you nearly killed Chase tonight. It's not like he's in HYRDA, He's just a normal everyday asshole that was brought into your life because of me." Bucky let out a soft relieved chuckle. "Doll. Look at me. Chase is already in the process of being terminated and apparently, it's all over the media of his attack on an agent, you. Everyone knows he's a dirtbag. And to be honest I don't fucking care. I know you do and I would be there for you and to defend you but that's not a deal breaker for me. I need you woman and I know how many time and how many different ways to say it to get it through that beautiful head of yours." He cupped your face in his hands and you smiled softly up at him and his red and puffy eyes. "How are you this handsome even with your red-rimmed eyes, Barnes?" He gave you a mock look of reprimand. "So its Barnes now, huh?" You let out a small laugh and he pulled you close.  You could feel the tension in his shoulders even though he was trying to lighten the mood. "Are you going to leave me, doll?"

His voice was quiet as he held you tightly against his chest and you inhaled his mint and woodsy scent. The one you thought you'd never be able to smell again. "No James. Not as long as you still want me. Which my from what I gather through my thick head, you do." He tucked his face into your neck and kissed your sweet spot and you let out a quiet moan. "I'll always want you, darling." He pulled away to take a long look into Y/E/C and your face with his flesh and metal hand cupping your hips as he lifted you up on the counter and leaned in to kiss you slowly and deeply. You opened your legs and allowed his thick legs and narrow waist entrance. You hooked your legs around his back and pulled him closer to you and wrapped your arms around his neck and threaded your hands through his hair and gave a gentle tug. He moaned into your mouth which egged you on and bit his lower lip a bit. His hands ran up and under the large shirt and he pulled it off and over you. "I hate this fucking shirt on you. You belong in my shirts, not Steve's." You knew it was Steve's and internally chuckled at his statement and you removed his shirt and threw it to the ground and returned your lips to his. It was passionate an all-consuming and had a desperate but slow burn to it. His hands were all over you, memorizing everything about you. You could feel his heart beating through his chest like it was his first time and you loved how he reacted to you. He was a heartbreakingly beautiful man and somehow he fell apart your hands and only your hands.

He took off your panties and your hands went towards his bend and his breath hitched at your hands pulling at his pants, tugging them downwards. He starts kissing down your neck and to your nipples and with his metal hand twisted the hardened bud. He kissed farther down your torso but your hands in his silky hair pulled him up. He looks at you in confusion. "I need you, James, please. Just you." He gently smiled at you and nodded with a sigh as he kissed you. "You got it, doll." He lined himself up at your core and gently pushed into you, allowing you a moment to adjust to his length and girth. You moaned into his mouth. "Please move baby. I need to feel you deep." He growled into your neck as he gently nipped at your sweet spot and began to thrust in and out slowly and at agonizing and breathtaking pace. You let out a moan that would make a sinner blush and he gently took your throat in his metal hand, not for dominance or for anything fast and dirty. Just for a show of trust, that he trusted himself with you and you with him. He grabbed your thigh and brought it up higher allowing himself to go deeper hitting the spot inside even more perfect and your head went back while he held you neck and both of you moan aloud in unison. "Doll, you're perfect for me. My other half, I can never be without you. Don't ever leave me Y/N?" His thrusts were becoming sloppy and the heat and tension in your coil were so tense. "I'm so close James. I've never felt this way. Oh-B-baby. I'm yours. Forever Sarge." He pulled you close to him and your walls flutter and tense around his cock and he bit your shoulder and then lick it. "I'm c-c-c-coming James." He pushed his tongue into your mouth as his orgasm washed over him and your cunt milk him dry. "I'm coming baby. Ya like that? Knowing you're the only dame that can do that to me?" You nodded as your sweaty foreheads touched and you caught your breaths and loving his Brooklyn accent.

He reached over and grabbed a towel to clean up both of you and then picked you up and carried you to the bedroom and you laid on his chest in silence, calming yourself to the beat of his heart. "Doll, you can't ever do that to me again?" You smirked and looked up at him. "Make love on the countertop?" He looked at you with a deeply serious face and you frowned knowing what was coming. " I know Buck. I know." He ran his hands up your bare back and inhaled you scent like he was memorizing it. "There aren't a lot of good things going to me in my life. Not since HYRDA. Don't get me wrong. I love the Avengers. It gave me a sense of....family. But make so mistake. I'd leave it all in a heartbeat to be with you. I'd follow you to the ends of the earth, Asgard, fucking Nine realms, Brooklyn, anywhere you want Y/N. Just talk to me, and don't leave me. I won't ever be a perfect man but if there is one thing that I know I will always try and be a better man...a good man.  For you." Your eyes were full of unshed tears.

"Fair enough. I'll never leave again. I'm with you till the end of the line James Buchanan Barnes. But can we hide out here for a few days until the media dies down and christen a few surfaces for Tony then go back to the Tower." He laughed and nodded. "On one condition." You smiled. "Anything soldier." He pulled your hair and brought you up for a kiss.

"We christen as much shit as we can in the Tower before Tony kicks us out and then we move in together." Your eyes beamed brightly at the proposition and your smiled matched his, as your leg swung over his hip and you straddled him for round two. One of the many amazing things about your soldier was his endurance and stamina. Which you were more than eager to put to the test.

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