#Yes the superegos are repressed in many ways

[poetryhaddock]

Dostoyevsky in The Interzone

Fleshworld, by Carole Morin 

Between painting her toenails and delicately sipping cocktails, the mysterious genius Carole Morin spent lockdown writing Fleshworld, a harrowing and heartbreaking dystopia with a difference.  

Set in a near-future, post-plague version of London divided into Pureworld and Fleshworld, it tells the story of Richard Powers and his obsessive, controlling relationship with his perfect wife, Ice, and a young prostitute called Trash. Ice goes missing one day from their bubble in Pureworld, only having taken six days’ supply of Safe, the vaccine invented by Powers to inoculate the wealthy inhabitants of Pureworld against sex rot, the disease that caused the division of the city into its superego and id. Powers goes to Fleshworld, where he encounters the waif Trash and her pimp, Bad, and discovers Ice being kept in The Pink Pussy, a nightmarish sex club catering to the rich, decadent thrillseekers of Pureworld. He devises a plot to get Ice back, using the innocent Trash as his unwitting accomplice.  

Those are the basic elements of this bleakly imaginative story, a kind of morality tale that does not moralise but explores the labyrinthine workings of the human conscience as it tries to navigate the logic of guilt, its justifications and counter-arguments, the need to confess, the fear of redemption and its concomitant freedom. Memory, confabulation, fantasy, base motives, the ineluctable hold of the past and how it shapes a personality, complexities of the human condition due to our weaknesses and our aching for forgetfulness, our fervent desire to be good despite the darkness that enfolds our lonely souls and lures us into selfishness, cowardice and madness: these concerns are the motives of the protagonists in this profound and disturbing story. 

This might sound as if Fleshworld is heavy going, yet it is anything but. It glories in a spare, sometimes aphoristic prose (it is a very quotable novel) that compels the reader to keep turning the page. There is none of the obsessive, often tedious world-building that blights many dystopian narratives; Pureworld and Fleshworld are laid out for the reader convincingly, with just enough detail to pique the imagination and create an environment that tests the characters physically and morally. 

I stated that Fleshworld is a dystopia with a difference. The difference is that it is not a satire or a warning. It has nothing to do with social realism and everything to do with symbolism and surrealism. It is an existential exploration of choice and the angst it engenders, of secrets and lies and need; a game played with the shifting illusion of identity, the stories of us that we tell ourselves. It uses various meta tricks to tap at the fourth wall, a dominant colour scheme (pink, white, with dashes of blue and red) and olfactory traces; and echoes of Lolita, Theseus and Ariadne, Prometheus, Mirbeau, Hitchcock, with a shocking Oedipal theme for good measure. Pureworld and Fleshworld are apocalyptically united at the end, because the repressed always finds another, worse way to assert itself. But none of this is done with crude one-to-one mapping of mythic and literary references neatly onto the narrative. The writing is too subtle, too intelligent, too truthful, for that. 

Is there a moral to this story? Yes, but I am unsure what it is. Perhaps it can be summed up in Richard’s last observation: 

‘Stains on the soul are not indelible, they can be loved clean.’ 

Carole Morin is a highly accomplished and unique author, and she deserves a much greater readership. So you know what to do, my book-hungry reader. 

Fleshworld is published by Dragon Ink. 

[junhuiste]

next level (ex-wip)

pairing: wonwoo x gn reader

word count: 2200

tags/warnings: fluff, angst, slightly suggestive, cursing, friends to enemies to lovers, college au

a/n: so i said i’d publish my other ex wips and here’s another one! i planned on making this a 3 parter where y/n asks wonwoo for help on a computer game even though they were enemies but before that they were friends …does that make any sense i didn’t think so! also this is an ex wip so sorry for the asterisks everywhere! those words were the ones i was gonna replace later on lmfao!!!! also i wrote this 2 years ago when i was 17 so my apologies if its utter bullshit 😭

as wonwoo help you leveled up, you wondered if you should do the same regarding your friendship…errr…enemyship….

It’d been an hour or so of Wonwoo verbally guiding you through the various moves and strategies but once he stood up your breath suddenly hitched, for whatever reason.

Breathing seemingly became somewhat harder as you saw from the corner of your eye that wonwoo was coming to stand behind you.

“it’s gonna get harder,” he said softly, his hand finding yours, “let me help you.”

as much as you appreciated his help, you didn’t need wonwoo to baby you; you were perfectly capable of taking verbal directions without needing guidance like a rookie. “i can do it; i swear!”

though it was hard to train your eyes on both wonwoo and the computer monitor simultaneously, you managed to do it anyway. “that’s not what you said last week when i offered you my help.”

it wasn’t that you didn’t need wonwoo’s help, and it wasn’t certainly that you didn’t want it, but there was something mischievous yet somehow alluring and amusing pushing him away. it was honestly quite ***horrible ** for you to admit it, but playing cat and mouse was refreshing, though it was a game hard to keep up with.

eventually you gave in and you took deep breaths slowly and surely as wonwoo’s hand rest atop yours. it was warm, but not sweaty; relaxed, but not ***heavy***. his head was most definitely closer to yours than last time, even though you tried to focus solely on the computer monitor, he was within an ear’s whisper from you. as he guided your hand, your thoughts glided slowly away from the game entirely and onto the boy behind you. it was hard, really, to ****focus*** on the 146th level of the game when the boy you liked a while back had his shoulder barely leaning into yours, with his warmth radiating onto you so so comfortably.

it hadn’t even been 10 minutes since wonwoo had stood up behind you that his arm was now resting ***comfortably***on yours. the weight of his top half ***barely*** on yours wasn’t even what went into consideration, for the most part. it what you could feel was ***slowly*** developing in the room, moment by moment, and it was excruciatingly painful how much time it took to build up. palms clammy, fingers ready to give out, and breathing ***most definitely*** not under control, you were ready to tap out and give into your instincts.

a mosh pit of psychedelic colors reflected onto both of your faces as the round ended. with the blinds only half drawn and how bright the screen was turned up, you winced at what seemed like a light source that envied the sun glared at you. the heat from the screen wasn’t the only **warmth**** prevalent, however. you certainly hadn’t forgotten about wonwoo’s shoulder ***leaning** onto yours.

avoiding all what you’d learned in high/secondary school about what freud said about the ego calming the id, you surpassed straying from your normal actions. you’d leaped from them, and it couldn’t be fathomed by anyone, by you or soonyoung, or especially jeon wonwoo, what lead you to remove your headphones and turn around in the computer chair and then kiss jeon wonwoo. what was most surprising was that he leaned in too, so much didn’t have to be done on your part.

as he leaned in closer, you pulled wonwoo closer, as if it were instinct and you’d kissed him a thousand times before. knowing him for quite some time, it was evident that he didn’t link up with anyone, whether that be for a single night of pleasure or months of commitment, so it was ***most definitely*** more than alike to a jack-in-the-box when he knew what he was doing, and so well too. his hand **softly*** stroking your cheek with your thumb and your hand ***softly **rubbing*** his neck were a pair you never would’ve expected in light years would be together. the whole ***thing** was just unbelievable…and undoubtedly **breathtaking***, as such as you would ***hate*** to ever tell him.

flashes of blue and red glossed wonwoo’s face again as you looked up at him. “would you look at that,” a slight tinge of satisfaction laced his tone and captured his expression, as you heard a faint “level 147 unlocked” behind you.

the exact reason you were at the dorm for you had completely abandoned; your endeavor was ***seemingly** cut short by your id, too strong for it to be tamed by your superego. in fact, all goals for the game were temporarily thrusted into the iceberg of your unconscious thoughts as you looked up at wonwoo again while tugging his shirt.

it was a precarious game of truth or dare you were playing with yourself, and you were losing to nothing none other than your current desires? mere attractions? repressed feelings? whatever it was, it didn’t really matter as wonwoo leaned into you again, this time more ***forcefully/intensely**, with both of you managing to slip a tongue in here and there. french kissing wonwoo? not exactly on your bucket list but something you were glad to have checked off, be it for lust, regret, or simply nostalgia of how you once felt for the boy who’s sweater you were tugging at to bring him closer and closer and closer.

it had **certainly** been more than a few good minutes of locking lips with jeon wonwoo, and what resulted was both of you panting heavily and looking each other in the eyes a little too intensely for your liking—not necessarily a look of sin but rather of repressed longing and ***regret**. the tension swore to engulf you and spit you out but what was sprinting through your mind instead was that wonwoo kissed you back.

had the naive, freshman you known that making out with jeon wonwoo would become a reality, you would’ve jumped at the thought. was he cute or irritating? bold or brazen? or was he simply just there that you immediately caved in and let your libido think for itself? it was just like that class where he palpated you; did feelings resurface because of a craving for affection? or was wonwoo a person you genuinely wanted to pursue something with. restating what he’d said earlier, that’s not what you’d thought a few months ago.

confusion. that’s what it was at most, at best, with the clearest label. wonwoo was there, yes, but he was also ***caring** (yet competitive), offering (yet **pretentious**), and someone you’d cared for back. the way he carried himself around you was *annoying** at times, sure, but he was never malicious. wonwoo had not one bad bone in his body, and you were willing to stand by that statement. his competitiveness and bold nature that peeked in once in a while were far outweighed by his humility.

no matter how many times he corrected you as naive and curious freshmen, you’d always find yourself falling back to feelings. just like now. but what was it really? did bubbles reappear just because of his hand on yours? because of his somewhat secret smiles when he knew you enjoyed his company? maybe. but it certainly wasn’t because he was just there.

even if bubbles popped and didn’t reappear, it would be better to get feelings out, right? it would lessen the blow, for both you and wonwoo. would you come to terms with what you once harbored for jeon wonwoo? maybe not.

sitting on the bed, wonwoo perked his head up at the sight of you in the chair finally facing him. “this…this isn't a heat of a moment thing…” you began, taking as much of your precious time as possible. if you were going to confront how you felt and didn't feel simultaneously, it might as well have taken some thought at the very least, especially for wonwoo’s sake.

the raven-haired** boy hunched over with a quirked eyebrow to continue to hear you out.

“i like you—i’m sorry, i mean i used to like you. like a lot. sometimes a lot for my own good. back in freshman year.” it was a struggle to get it all out in one breath. confrontation should be something you’d never have to do again. wonwoo stayed silent, his eyes no longer **trained* on yours, but shifted **somewhat** nervously to the floor. the way your heart pulsated mercilessly at the brutal sound of silence forced the temperature to shoot up suddenly.

it didn’t work; you didn’t feel clean, worse actually, and from what it looked like at the moment, wonwoo probably did as well. he usually did well when it all boiled down to fear, feelings, and *rationality* mixing, because he pushed it away. everyone knew that, and you especially. he didn’t take any hard hits when he was third-wheeling soonyoung or roaming mindlessly at one of **NCT’s** notorious frat parties.

maybe it was time to leave. perhaps those moments of silence where you had to recollect yourself, your dignity, and your feelings were a pure waste.

“i’m sorry, i don’t know why i just threw that at you. i’ll leave now—and uh, thanks for the help.” sometimes feelings weren’t merely felt, other times they were ruthless and just sprung up at the worst of times. maybe that’s why your body was unforgiving and threatening to prick your eyes with water. hurriedly, you grabbed your headphones and clenched them tightly in your fist before taking a step to leave.

however, a pang of something hit. it was unidentifiable, that thing that was keeping you from taking any more steps to leave wonwoo’s room. it was agonizing at the same intensity as it was delirious, and wild and tantalizing even. whatever it was, it was piercing you, forcing you to stay in place.

once again, the air around you was impassioned and the evident thumping and thrashing and thrusting in your chest occurred as wonwoo stood up in front of you. his tall stature didn’t threaten you, only how you felt did.

“how long?” he pried with a *cold** kind of warmth before sitting down in the computer chair. his knees were almost touching yours, and he leaned back with burning curiosity.

“i…don’t know. it was a while back…and for a long time; that’s all i remember.”

the unspoken miracle had graced you as river that almost formed around your eyes earlier had finally dried up.

wonwoo had that same look on his face he always had when no answers or solutions came to mind right away. it wasn’t expressionless, far from it. you didn't know if it was inquiry or discontent, or even a thrill; the latter you’d wished but was far from being a reality.

the way wonwoo struggled to get out what he wanted took you aback. he always knew what to say, whether witty, spiteful, or helpful, and to plain sight of him also choking on his words threw you for a numbing, yet throbbing** loop.

“do you still like me?” wonwoo finally made eye contact with you, the kind of eye contact someone makes when they itch for the answer to so badly be yes.

it was at that moment that he locked you in again. but you spent the last year convincing yourself you hated him. indeed, hate was too strong of a word for it. something else. and just as you’d told him, it was absolutely not the kiss that stirred you to confess in a half-assed manner. it was just so bothersome to not know what those feelings were.

it almost choked to say it, because you *genuinely* felt it, but didn’t know what exactly to do about it.

“i-i don’t know.” you couldn’t keep up with eye contact. it was much too biting.

wonwoo captured your eyes again, but this time it wasn’t the same confused gleam they held, but rather one of clouded elation. you couldn’t exactly tell, but you knew it was just electricity in there somewhere.

“do you want to kiss me again?” was the million dollar question that was lurking. wonwoo asked it with such subtle amusement. instead of taking advantage of your feelings and vulnerability in this situation, which he would never think to do, he decided to act upon his own.

there was an evident yearning in his tone, his body language, his eyes, everything. you knew the difference between when wonwoo was simply waiting for an answer and when he was aching for it immediately. this moment called for the latter.

his inclination provoked a smile out of you. whatever it was, you didn’t know how you felt; you just knew you needed to kiss him again.

you dropped everything you had been clenching so tightly in your hands and and bent down to hold his face in your hand as you leaned in. his soft lips finally met yours again, and unlike the first couple of kisses you shared, this time it was *softer***, slower, driven by an avid and throbbing want to be as close to the other person as possible. this time it had meaning. and you couldn’t find yourself pulling away as wonwoo’s hand came behind your thigh to pull you closer to him.

he was never one to make the first move, for most things, and it surprised you when he popped the question and pulled you to him. practically falling on him in the chair, you whispered out a faint “sorry”, as he rushed to hold you. he *giggled softly** before he continued to kiss you. eventually you repositioned yourself to straddle him in the chair and oh my god you were making out with jeon wonwoo.

videogames, huh?

[joanofarchetype]

A Connecticut Yankee...a kid...that's all well and good but we really don't talk enough about the werewolf in King Arthur's court

This is not a shitpost — in Le Morte D'Arthur, Sir Thomas Malory makes mention of "Sir Marrok, the good knight that was betrayed with his wyf, for she made hym seven yere a wer-wolf". Of course, Malory lifted the tale of the werewolf knight straight outta "Bisclavret," which is one of the Twelve Lais of Marie de France. And it is...wild. There's also "Melion," an anonymous Breton lai which along with "Biclarel" is believed to have evolved from the same source as "Bisclavret". In this post we're gonna refer to the protagonist as the "knight" or the "wolf-knight" and tell a somewhat composite tale.

(A note: this takes place well before commonly established werewolf lore, which crystallized thanks to Universal's The Wolf Man. Curt Siodmak wrote all that stuff about the full moon and silver bullets in 1941 so well that our common imagination accepted it as ancient fact.)

So anyway our guy is a knight who disappears for a couple nights a week and his wife is like ?????? dude ??????? where ??? do you ???? go ??????

And my dude is like "babe I love you but I can't tell you because you won't look at me the same" and she's like "I am your wIFE you better tell me right quick or otherwise have a good nose for almonds in your oatmeal" (jk she doesn't say that because if she did he might've gotten a little foreshadowing of her treachery, but alas, our man was a sucker)

So the knight tells her he's a werewolf, and on the nights he disappears he's wolfing around the countryside and his wife is like !!!!!!!!!! on the inside but makes sure her face is only 🤔 on the outside

(Mind you, Marie de France goes into how the wife is grossed out because she shared her marriage bed with a beast, which has some interesting implications but we'll get to those later)

She starts digging about his transformation until he explains how in order to return to his human shape, he *needs* to put his human clothes back on or else he'll be stuck as a wolf, at which point wifey is 👀👀👀👀

Wifey's like, "but if ur in wolf form, how do u remember where u put ur clothes lol" and the knight's like, "no no, I retain my human mind even in wolf form and besides, I always put them under this one rock outside this cave"

now bear in mind he's never been able to talk about this to anyone so he's pouring his heart out about his deepest secret which he kept even from his wife & I know we're all pretty used to medieval repression but imagine how it must have felt to share this secret at long last 😥

So to recap:

knight: 🤵🏻🛡🐾🌕🐺🤫😅😍♥️💐 wifey: 👰🏼💭🤢🤔👀🧐💡💡👔💍🔪🔪🔪

Our knight is like "yeah so I was born this way and it's just a part of who I am and whew it's kind of a relief to finally be talking about it with someone"

Wifey nods along 🤔🤔🤔 because she's had a💡moment and is 🍳 up a plan...

so the knight has unleashed (pun intended) his secret for the first time in this life and is feeling just dandy, but what he doesn't know is his wife is already plotting his downfall with her...LOVER (dun dun dunnn)

wifey & her secret lover steal the knight's clothes when he's transformed, essentially trapping him in wolf form, get him declared dead in absentia, marry each other & take over his lands

and the royal court goes for this because at this point the whole kingdom knows about the knight's habit of disappearing for days at a time (because medieval nobles are messy gossipy bitches who live for that drama) so they just assume he abandoned her

*~*ONE YEAR LATER*~* (or if you're Malory, *~*SEVEN YEARS LATER*~*)

the king & hunting party corner the wolf-knight in the woods. knight is overwhelmed at the sight of his monarch & runs up to what for all he knows might be his oblivion to kiss king's feet at which point king's like, "THAT'S NO ORDINARY WOLF. HE SHALL JOIN MY COURT IMMEDIATELY."

the wolf-knight goes to live at court where he's basically regarded as a knight (so the takeaway from this part of the lai is that a literal wild animal had a better chance of becoming a knight in ye olden days than a peasant or a woman but I digress)

anyway so there's a celebration at court and who comes to the party but the ex-wifey's new husband, now a baron. understandably, the wolf-knight does NOT react well and attacks him, and the reaction of everyone at court at this near-mauling isn't to say "whoa whoa maybe bringing a wolf to court was a bad idea" but rather "huh, this wolf has never been hostile towards a human before so obviously this guy must've personally wronged him." which is...progressive.

so the new husband/baron/co-conspirator is all "wtf keep it away from me" and the king is like "idk man, what were you wearing? maybe you smelled like royal beef jerky at the time. seems like you were asking for it"

king & the other barons take wolf-knight to the new baron's property. they just need to figure out what's going on because they're not ready to take sir wolf to his final veterinary visit, u feel? they're attached. now get ready for this next part because it's a doozy.

ex-wifey hears about the king's visit so she's waiting with gifts & cakes & shit. the wolf-knight sees her & immediately BITES OFF HER NOSE & he bites it so good her progeny can feel it & henceforth all her descendants are — I SHIT YOU NOT — born noseless. talk about losing face.

under questioning (*cough cough* torture *cough*) the wife admits to her crimes & yields the stolen clothing, which they put in front of the wolf & he just stares at them until they realize "wow yeah sorry dude our bad" and leave the room to give him privacy

when they see the wolf-knight again he's in his human form and in Marie de France's "Bisclavret" it's expressly written that the king embraces him in the bedchamber and gives him "many kisses" (hashtag heterosexual friends doing heterosexual things)

the king restores the wolf-knight's lands and ex-wifey has to live with her ex-baron in exile, forever marked for her betrayal. some real Mark of Cain shit. (obviously this lai has a lot to say about spousal dissatisfaction but that’s another day’s dissertation)

the wolf-knight (Bisclavret, or Melion, or Marrok, or Sir Wolf or whatever you fancy calling him) not only regains his good name, but also the support of a court which now knows his secret dual nature.

something to be hated or feared, only understood and accepted. no one at court shuns him once the secret's out & no one tries to change or "heal" him of his lycanthropy.

remember when I said we'd come back to the wife's reaction? in "Bisclavret" Marie de France specifically states that upon finding out his secret, the wife no longer wishes to "lie beside him." let's unpack that a bit by exploring similar themes across folklore.

the marriage bed serves as a common motif in tales of animal transformation. ex: in "Beauty and the Beast," the protagonist has to overcome her revulsion towards her suitor's ostensible monstrosity before she can accept his marriage proposal. traditionally these stories with mysterious, beastly husbands who are secretly a true catch serve as an allegory for arranged marriage, designed to help young women process their anxieties about being passed from their father's house to that of a strange new husband.

(we should differentiate these tales from those of an ostensibly appropriate groom who turns out to be a monster in disguise such as "Bluebeard," "Mr. Fox," and "The Robber-Bridegroom," as those deserve a detailed thread of their own but also provide good thematic contrast here)

more often the Beast is kind, patient & gives Beauty the time she needs to the detriment of his own freedom from the curse. once the protagonist gets over her anxiety, she ceases to perceive her groom as just a hulking hairy beast and he can take the shape of a prince at last.

circling back to wolves! in most lore both ancient and modern, werewolves represent something uncontrollable; an animalistic second nature which threatens to literally tear through our well-mannered social façade. "Bisclavret" and its various incarnations don't do that.

if you read "Bisclavret" under a queer critical lens, you can interpret the knight as bisexual; a husband has a secret duality to his nature which he is unable to express in their current social order. significantly, he is born with his lycanthropy rather than being afflicted by the sudden, violent means through which most fictional werewolves are afflicted. it's a part of who he is, and it requires no further explanation or cure.

the wolf-knight finds freedom rather than shame in his lycanthropy, and as a result maintains both honor and control while in wolf form. unlike other famous werewolves, he doesn't function as an expression of tension between the id and the superego.

considering how often wolves are used to imply sexual violence (see also: "Little Red Riding Hood" or its medieval predecessor, "The Grandmother's Tale") this would be a fairly positive portrayal of a bisexual man.

however, his wife doesn't see it that way and is repulsed at the thought of sleeping with him again, so she commits adultery and conspires against him. so really, the crimes in "Bisclavret" have a lot to do with sex, just not sexual violence.

the king's attachment to the wolf & the way he embraces the knight can easily be read as homoerotic. there's absolutely an argument to be made about the normalization of homosocial behavior & male kinship across eras but...two things can be true. either interpretation is valid.

so what we have is a werewolf protagonist — not a villain or tortured anti-hero but an honorable man who isn't made to shed his lycanthropy at the end of the tale (tail). rather, he is accepted by his contemporaries and given a place in society to live as he truly is/ROLL CREDITS

[sarahlevys]

do you know MBTI types? if so, what do you think alexis and twylas are? what’s yours?

hello! yes :) below are some quick thoughts and c&p, with bonus enneagram feelings!

Alexis: ESFJ & 7

The Consul: myers briggs details from the link above:

“Consuls are more concerned with fashion and their appearance, their social status and the standings of other people. Practical matters and gossip are their bread and butter, but Consuls do their best to use their powers for good...

“...Being pretty conflict-averse, Consuls spend a lot of their energy establishing social order, and prefer plans and organized events to open-ended activities or spontaneous get-togethers. People with this personality type put a lot of effort into the activities they’ve arranged, and it’s easy for Consuls’ feelings to be hurt if their ideas are rejected, or if people just aren’t interested...

“Coming to terms with their sensitivity is Consuls’ biggest challenge – people are going to disagree and they’re going to criticize, and while it hurts, it’s just a part of life. The best thing for Consuls to do is to do what they do best: be a role model, take care of what they have the power to take care of, and enjoy that so many people do appreciate the efforts they make.”

The Enthusiast: enneagram details from the link above:

“Sevens are exhilarated by the rush of ideas and by the pleasure of being spontaneous, preferring broad overviews and the excitement of the initial stages of the creative process to probing a single topic in depth...

“...They do not feel that they know what to do or how to make choices that will be beneficial to themselves and others. Sevens cope with this anxiety in two ways. First, they try to keep their minds busy all of the time. As long as Sevens can keep their minds occupied, especially with projects and positive ideas for the future, they can, to some extent, keep anxiety and negative feelings out of conscious awareness.

“Likewise, since their thinking is stimulated by activity, Sevens are compelled to stay on the go, moving from one experience to the next, searching for more stimulation. This is not to say that Sevens are "spinning their wheels." They generally enjoy being practical and getting things done.”

Twyla: INFP & 2

The Mediator: myers briggs details from the link above:

“On the outside, Mediators (INFPs) may seem quiet or even shy. But they often have vibrant, passionate inner lives. Because they make up such a small portion of the population, people with this personality type may sometimes feel misunderstood or out of step with the world. Fortunately, their caring nature can help them create and sustain deep relationships with their loved ones...

“...They can have a tendency to daydream and fantasize rather than take action. If they don’t act on their dreams and ideas, Mediators are likely to end up feeling frustrated or unfulfilled...

“...Although Mediators might want to help everyone, they may need to focus their attention and energy on one worthy cause at a time. Otherwise, they can become so overwhelmed by all the problems they can’t fix that they’re tempted to give up on even trying. This is a sad sight for Mediators’ friends, who often depend on their hopeful outlook.

“Fortunately, like flowers in the spring, Mediators’ creativity and idealism can bloom even after the darkest of seasons. Although they know the world will never be perfect, Mediators still care about making it better however they can. This quiet belief in doing the right thing may explain why these personalities so often inspire compassion, kindness, and beauty wherever they go.“

The Helper: enneagram details from the link above

“Twos are empathetic, sincere, and warm-hearted. They are friendly, generous, and self-sacrificing, but can also be sentimental, flattering, and people-pleasing. They are well-meaning and driven to be close to others, but can slip into doing things for others in order to be needed. They typically have problems with possessiveness and with acknowledging their own needs...

“...Healthy Twos warm others in the glow of their hearts. They enliven others with their appreciation and attention, helping people to see positive qualities in themselves that they had not previously recognized. In short, healthy Twos are the embodiment of “the good parent” that everyone wishes they had: someone who sees them as they are, understands them with immense compassion, helps and encourages with infinite patience, and is always willing to lend a hand—while knowing precisely how and when to let go. Healthy Twos open our hearts because theirs are already so open and they show us the way to be more deeply and richly human...

“...Average to unhealthy Twos seek validation of their worth by obeying their superego’s demands to sacrifice themselves for others. They believe they must always put others first and be loving and unselfish if they want to get love. The problem is that “putting others first” makes Twos secretly angry and resentful, feelings they work hard to repress or deny. Nevertheless, they eventually erupt in various ways, disrupting Twos’ relationships and revealing the inauthenticity of many of the average to unhealthy Two’s claims about themselves and the depth of their “love.””

Me: ESFJ & 3 :)

I write Twyla the most these days, but I identify the most with Alexis. I didn’t intend to give us the same myers briggs type, but it seemed to fit her the best out of the extroverted options. & then my ennegram is "The Achiever"!

[ineffable-endearments]

Psycho-Philosophy and the Angels, Part III (did you think I was going to escape the id, ego, and superego?)

Part I (Aziraphale as collectivism, Crowley as individualism) is here and Part II (Aziraphale as Adam Young’s collectivist half, Crowley as Adam Young’s individualist half) is here. Other people seemed to like Part I the most so far, which is odd to me because I was way more interested in Part II, but hey! To each their own!

Summary of essays so far: I babble about the notion that Aziraphale and Crowley are figures who represent the harmony of collectivism (investment in the community) and individualism (investment in the self) in the human mind. What they find is exactly the same harmony that helps Adam choose to save the world.

During this next part I’m going to try to figure out which actual parts of the mind Aziraphale and Crowley might represent. Yes, Freud makes an appearance.

Disclaimer: This is not meant to be a discussion about real-world psychological science. It’s about theoretical constructs which make appearances in fiction. Psychoanalysis started as a real-world theory and some people still swear by it, but I don’t. It has made its way into art and literature as well, where I do happen to think it’s interesting and useful.

Summary for people who aren’t familiar with the terms: psychoanalytical theory, a controversial and outdated theory started by Freud and pervasive in literature that involves psychological symbolism, suggests that the human mind is made up of:

the id (totally subconscious, basic drives and instincts, wholly selfish and short-sighted)

the superego (mostly unconscious but often sort of within a person’s awareness; the sense of morality, the “ideals” that adhere to social rules)

the ego (a long-suffering construct which is constantly trying to moderate between id and superego AND cope with the limitations of reality, and which houses the conscious portion of the mind as well as a bunch of unconscious processes).

I do get an “id/ego/superego” feeling from Good Omens. The self-orientation of Crowley is sort of id-like, and the idealism of Aziraphale is sort of superego-like, and the balance of Adam is sort of ego-like.

But critical thought is too central to Crowley’s character for me to be convinced he actually represents the chaos of the id; in a way, he’s really the opposite. Meanwhile, Aziraphale doesn’t trust his own judgment enough to symbolize the superego, and judgment is pretty much the whole point of the superego!

You probably could refer to the roiling, short-sighted chaos of Hell as representative of the human id. And you could probably refer to the rigid rule-mongering of Heaven as the superego. In that sense, with Aziraphale and Crowley as their “representatives” on Earth who agree to balance the two forces, the pair of them actually represent just...the ego.

And you know what the ego is supposed to have in spades to help it cope with all the conflict it has to survive? Defense mechanisms.

I bet we’ll recognize these defense mechanisms in our favorite angel and demon. The concepts can get a bit murky and have been given different names over the years, but I’m sure you’re familiar with the following notions, many of which our protagonists use at some point (ninety percent of the time, it’s Aziraphale who’s doing this, but Crowley has his moments):

repression: it’s carried different meanings over the years. now it usually refers to the notion that an individual knows something about themselves is true, but holds it back or perhaps carefully ignores it. could be anything from a total denial of the truth to the resolution that this truth has to be buried.

projection: having an unacceptable thought or urge but assuming that the object of the thought or urge is actually the one who is experiencing it.

rationalization: a behavior that would normally be unacceptable is explained away in a way that makes it sound entirely justified, if not superior.

splitting: thinking only in extremes, being unable to reconcile between the positive and negative qualities of oneself or other people.

reaction formation: having an unacceptable thought or impulse and then acting out the opposite behavior in a very exaggerated manner.

regression: reverting to a previous stage of development to deal with anxiety instead of taking steps toward a more adaptive way of coping, often because the adaptive way of coping scares the person somehow.

displacement: trying to meet a socially unacceptable urge by replacing an unsafe behavior with a safe one. not unlike sublimation, but the “safe” behavior is usually not very constructive.

sublimation: channeling a socially unacceptable urge into one that is actually healthy and productive.

Note that in this context, “unacceptable thought or urge” sounds really severe and judgmental, but it just means a person perceives their thought or urge is somehow problematic. It might be morally offensive, and it could apply to thoughts or urges that are severe. But it might also just be that the person recognizes that if they were to accept the thought, it would be emotionally painful, or if they were to act on the urge, other people might think badly of them for it.

These aren’t ALL of the defense mechanisms, but it’s some of the ones that I think appear in Good Omens. Maybe I’ll do a post highlighting when I think they appear for Aziraphale and Crowley as individuals.

But for this post, I’m looking at them as a mind united.

If you view them as a mind united, Crowley is the part of a person that wants to move forward, that wants to be true to itself, that wants to be happy. He does represent base desires, in a way, but he’s informed by a logic that is not compatible with the rest of Hell. And Aziraphale is the part of a person that follows the rules, that is trying to be safe, trying to keep itself alive in a world that is frequently unkind to those who are genuine. To simplify matters greatly, you could say Crowley leans toward seeking happiness for the two of them while Aziraphale leans toward seeking safety, although of course they try their best for both and neither wants to see them end up unhappy or unsafe.

It does tie back to individualism and collectivism as well, with Crowley representing desires related to the Self and Aziraphale being highly concerned with those outside, the Collective, in terms of what they will think and what they will do to the Self.

The two of them operating as two halves of a whole is a fascinating thing, because there’s absolutely no question that they do! But they don’t always seem to know it, especially Aziraphale. After all, he cuts Crowley off twice: in 1862 and at the bandstand. He also very strongly refuses responsibility for losing the Antichrist child, and leaves Crowley out of the decision-making process when he locates Agnes Nutter’s book. In all of these situations, Crowley trusts him to be on “their side,” and in all of these situations, Aziraphale pulls away. It appears that he doesn’t understand them as a cohesive unit until the very end.

...Right?

Sort of.

Aziraphale views them as a cohesive unit within the Great Plan, and he thinks that their role is to oppose each other, not to work in harmony. Because he is not individuated enough to figure out how he can separate from Heaven, Aziraphale believes that bonding too closely will destroy Crowley, since if Crowley comes into contact with Heaven, they will Smite him, and if Hell finds out about Aziraphale, they’ll also destroy Crowley. It’s sort of like Aziraphale is that anxious, repressive, protective instinct that’s coating the outside of their psyche, trying to protect it from both the cruelty of the outside world and the impulses deep inside.

So really, Aziraphale has always seen them in terms of a duality, too. It’s just that he starts off thinking they absolutely must be characterized as enemies and orbiting each other at a distance rather than characterized as a partnership.

Aziraphale’s “breakups” with Crowley always involve multiple motivations. He’s usually afraid of getting caught “fraternizing,” yes. He does represent the part of a person who genuinely wants to connect with the collective, and Aziraphale believes he’s upholding the Greater Good by keeping to this model of behavior as well. But the breakups are also protective gestures toward Crowley. They keep him away from Heaven and/or Hell. It’s the same way that people usually suppress or repress their emotional needs - yes, people want to belong, they want to be accepted and play by the rules, but they’re also trying to protect themselves from being hurt by others.

And in this context, Crowley, the individualist and the one who always encourages Aziraphale to think independently, is a very important part of the Self that their metaphorical ego is trying to protect. I suspect that if Aziraphale thought his behaviors would not have consequences for Crowley, he’d be acting very differently indeed, just like humans don’t hold back from pleasure when they don’t believe experiencing it will be dangerous.

The other ways that Aziraphale rejects their partnership, by refusing responsibility for the loss of the Antichrist and by keeping Agnes Nutter’s book a secret, are attempts at maintaining control, not because he’s a controlling individual - in fact, I’d say Aziraphale is happiest when he doesn’t feel like he’s expected to be in control - but because he thinks he can make the two of them safer that way. If Aziraphale accepts responsibility for losing the Antichrist, it weakens his argument that they are on opposite sides. And if he tells Crowley where the Antichrist is, he can’t involve Heaven in their plans because that would be dangerous for Crowley - and yet, he’s convinced that somehow, Heaven is going to swoop in and save everyone.

Aziraphale’s gambit at the bandstand to try and convince Crowley to join Heaven is rather like an individual human being trying to bargain with themselves that they’ll genuinely change something deep down inside so they can be themselves and be socially acceptable. It involves quite a bit of projection, reaction formation, and an attempt at sublimation that doesn’t go very well. The final act of “breaking up” with Crowley is sort of like the defensive part of the ego realizing that if it accepts its urges any longer, it’s going to do something dangerous, so it regresses, represses, and denies a core part of the Self.

Going back to the superego concept up there: the superego is the “ideal” self. If you view Heaven as a kind of superego symbol, and Aziraphale as the superego’s representative, then his allegiance to Heaven broke when he finally realized that Heaven does not match Aziraphale’s own ideal self. He no longer identifies with them. And he no longer thinks either Crowley or humanity should, either.

If Crowley and Aziraphale are an ego formation, then by the end of the story, they’ve negotiated a healthier superego than Heaven.

Like I said in the previous essays, and as Michael Sheen so eloquently explained, you can’t simply divide these two into a pair of halves. They each have a little bit of the other - the thing that the other represents - in them. They are each a complete person, an individual with a relationship to the collective, who has a number of issues, and each ends up reconciling those issues by the end of the story (Aziraphale has a bit more to do than Crowley, but Crowley does work himself out in some ways, too). But the notion of teamwork, of complementing sides and the fact that their differences make them strong when they work together, doesn’t go away.

[likeabxrdinflight]

the “Diamonds as social commentary” take is so boring, so let’s talk about them as a representation of the human mind instead!

no for real I couldn’t give less of a shit about the “diamonds are space nazis” take it’s cold as ice

However, it was said in a “battle of heart and mind” podcast that the Diamonds are, in part, meant to represent the Freudian structure of the mind- with Pink Diamond as the Id, Yellow and Blue as the Ego, and White as the Superego. 

This is not the only way of looking at them, and they definitely can and do represent other things as well. There are so many reads of these characters- the family angle, the stages of grief angle, the body/mind/soul angle. All are good. But I think looking at them through this lens specifically is a great way to understand why they are so incapable of functioning without Pink. And it’s a good way to understand their basic characterization as well. 

Under a cut because it’s long. 

For those less familiar with the theory, Freud came up with this idea that the mind is divided into three parts- the first is the Id is essentially unconscious and controls our most basic desires. The Id runs on impulse and raw emotion- see it, want it, get it. (”I want a colony!!”) The Superego is mostly conscious (thought not entirely), and it functions as our sense of self-control. It represents learned social norms and morality and imposes these limitations on the Id. It’s entire purpose is to keep the Id in check, but it can get out of hand. (”But you’re a part of me, the part I always have to repress.”) The Ego mediates between the two. Much of Ego functioning is part of our conscious awareness, but not all of it. The Ego is also said to be in control of our defense mechanisms, hence them originally being called “Ego defenses.” In many ways, the Ego was where most of Freud’s neuroses occurred, as the Ego was constantly under pressure from the Superego, while also fighting back against the impulses of the Id. (”I do everything you ask, and I do it all perfectly. But your very high standards put us all under a lot of pressure.”)

Now, Freud’s theory of the mind is...outdated. These three structures don’t actually exist in the sense that you can’t cut open a human brain and say “ah yes, there is the Ego!” But, he wasn’t entirely cracked either. Because there are legitimate brain structures that can map, albeit imperfectly, onto the Freudian idea. There’s no Id inside the human brain, but there is a deep limbic system. And there’s no Ego or Supergeo, but there is the frontal lobes and prefrontal cortex. 

This is why the Diamonds just can’t function without all four of them present. 

Pink, the Id, is entirely driven by impulse and feeling. She does what she wants, when she wants, with little regard for others. She lives to experience pleasure, and doesn’t care for the consequences- from wanting a colony without understanding what that means, to loving Earth to the point that she’d fake her own death, to flirting with humans with no regard for Pearl’s feelings, even to deciding to have a child because she wanted him to experience what she couldn’t without thought to what her loss might mean for the others. Pink seems to lack empathy because the Id lacks empathy. But the Id is still important for a human to function- we need our Id. We need our drives and desires and our basest emotions. Without them, we’re not really human.

Yellow and Blue represent two halves of a whole Ego. Without Pink, they’re two variants of neurosis- Blue is melancholic, and Yellow choleric, angry. The Ego is a hard concept to grasp but it’s why these two characters seem the most “human”, for lack of a better word. The Ego makes up the bulk of our adult personalities, so Yellow and Blue both have pretty solid senses of self. They’re the ones truly running the show for much of the series, because that’s the Ego’s job. They’re holding Homeworld together and maintaining the colonies, they’re doing everything they’re supposed to do because if they didn’t, the whole thing would crumble. They’re the defenses holding the system together. But they don’t really know how to manage with an absentee Superego and destroyed Id. So they’re neurotic. They’re out of balance. And they’re not happy, they’re not well.

And then there’s White, the Superego. She’s a very unhealthy Superego when we first meet her, and one that’s taken her role to its furthest extreme. She thinks that everything Pink is- her raw feelings and unacceptable impulses- must be repressed if they are to function. White is a perfectionist because the Superego, in its rawest form, is a perfectionist. The Superego wants order and control, it wants to suppress the Id and wants the Ego to be good and moral. It wants to be perfect. And White reflects this- she “cleanses” others of their “impurities” by erasing all their desires and senses of self. She makes them “her”- pure Superego, and nothing else. White has constructed this entire society based on her idea of perfection. And without Pink, without the Id there, she becomes the purest kind of cognition, essentially without feelings at all. 

But what White doesn’t see, is that she needs Pink. In a real human, an out of control Superego can do damage. In Freudian theory, repression was thought to be the root of all mental illness. If all Id impulses are thought of as bad, then Freud believed the Ego and the Superego turn on itself. The Ego is forced to use unhealthy defenses to keep the Superego happy, and we can wind up with all kinds of neurotic disorders- anxiety, depression, OCD, you name it. And this, we see, is what White Diamond did to Pink. And in turn, Blue and Yellow, as the Ego of the system, had to punish Pink too. They pushed her away. They were unhealthy, and only grew more so when Pink was gone.

(Again, this theory is outdated, but let’s go with it for now because this is a story.)

Without the Id, the Diamonds fall apart. Blue and Yellow are empty without her. And White isolates herself in her own head and forgets that emotions even exist. They collectively represent a whole-ass personality disorder without Pink- without access to and acceptance of their Id.

What Steven then does, as Pink’s successor, is come and say “hey, look, these things you’re trying to repress aren’t bad.” Flaws, imperfections- drives and feelings- aren’t bad things. It’s okay to have those raw emotions. They don’t have to be pushed away and they don’t make you bad. They reform so easily because with Steven, they are a whole unit again- all the pieces are back together. They need the Id, much as they tried to repress her- they need her. We all need it, because the Id isn’t bad after all. 

Unfortunately, Steven is already a fully functioning human. He doesn’t need them like they need him. I think this in part explains their sudden clinginess to him in the movie- they physically need him to be whole. But hopefully with Spinel, who’s very much like Pink in that she’s basically all Id herself- they can become whole again. Spinel will come to need them as they have needed her. In many ways she really is a replacement for Pink Diamond, but maybe not in the way we’re tempted to think. She’ll be a healthier version- an Id they now realize they won’t need to repress.

[zwischeneinsichten]

Resolution

This paper was given as a talk at Mendocino State Hospital, Talmage, California in 1959 as the conclusion of a series of talks and demonstrations by Perls.

In our lectures and demonstrations I have presented Gestalt therapy as a series of bits and pieces which you may find of use. I assume now that you know much and I can go beyond the categories, divisions, and pieces to explore the center point, the resolution of the closed gestalt. My ambition has been to create a unified field theory in psychology. In this lecture I would lead you from the play of opposites to the unity of resolution, so that you might experience the goal implied in Gestalt work. This is the other side of the coin: unity instead of division; resolution! a coming home instead of wandering. As in all things the main barrier to resolution is ourselves, and particularly how we fantasize about ourselves and the world. In many respects resolution can seem so pleasant, mild and simple that we distrust it and by our questioning undo its peacefulness.

It is said we have a mind, that we have an id, ego, and so on. By projecting living experience into external categories we fantasy that we have grasped and can control something. I propose the idea of universal awareness as a useful hypothesis that runs counter to this tending to treat ourselves as things. We are awareness rather than have awareness. From our aware experiencing we can look on the rest of existence and suppose that there are varying degrees of awareness in all things. The flower that turns to the sun is aware of sunlight. The rock that falls experiences some difference between falling, hitting and lying still. In varying degrees, all things which are this rather than that, function this way rather than that, are varying degrees of awareness.

Awareness, consciousness, or excitement are similar experiences. Man’s awareness appears more comprehensive and hence more ambiguous than that of other things. The rock can only fall when it has no support: Without support we can project, repress, desensitize, etc. With the hypothesis of universal awareness we open up to considering ourselves in a living way rather than in the aboutisms of having a mind, ego, superego and so forth. Also, by the hypothesis of universal awareness we open up to considering ourselves as intrinsically like the rest of existence. Starting from isness, this awareness here now, we consider ourselves as we are, living, here, varied and similar to others and the rest of existence. It puts us in a position to contact, to move over boundaries, to range across differences, to find resolution.

Whether our awareness is greater than or more intense than that of animals, bacteria, cells, plants or stars I do not know. We need to suspect the vanity of saying we are the most conscious. It seems clear, though, that our awareness is the most ambiguous. It seems to split, divide and conceal itself more easily than rocks and plants. Most of what we have talked about is this apparent tendency to divide into foreground (what we sharply experience) and background (what is less differentiated). Foreground is in dynamic relationship to background. Very simply, what cannot be here, is there. Background is all other; the world outside, meanings projected, other selves as dreams, our potentials, everyone and everything else. What cannot be here, is anyway and so is there; or, at least, appears there. If I cannot leave the room when I feel like it, I leave in fantasy. That way I can be here and there simultaneously. I can be kind and unkind, elated and depressed and so forth, simultaneously. It is partly the assumption that “I am this and not that” which is wrong, which creates a division, which we will need to amplify so that the missing part can also be conscious.

Actually our idea of the unconscious as being what is packed away and unused is wrong. What we do not know as ourselves is lived out anyway and can be seen by friends. It is as if we have a conservation of mental energy that corresponds to the conservation of matter/energy in Einstein’s relativity theory. Nothing ever dies or disappears altogether in the realm of awareness. What is not lived here as consciousness lives there as muscle tension, unaccountable emotion, perception of others, and so forth. Nothing disappears, but much is displaced or misplaced. Boredom, for instance, which is a dreary state, also contains a drive to do something. The man dying of thirst has water everywhere except on his tongue. In Gestalt therapy we are in the paradoxical situation of always dealing with a two-part existence, what is awareness here and now, and what this awareness stands in relation to. Foreground implies background. The background shapes foreground.

What cannot come forth here appears there as other. My rejected resentment turns up as your obvious faults. Most of therapy is finding these splits, and activating both sides. Any activating of both sides tends to gather them together again. Questions are created out of the suspicion of the answer. The question that is intensified collapses into its own answer.

It is partly the demand for differences, the questioning, that divides. What are you aware of now? This rather than that. Can you be aware of this and that? Well yes, but not with the same intensity. The demand for intensity, the questioning, the expecting of this rather than that, creates the foreground-background misplacing of part of ourselves.

In love and especially in orgasm it is as though we experience across the boundary of selves to a contact that leads to the confluence of orgasm, to unifying differences. Understanding, which is more than aboutism or bullshit, is also an assimilation of differences. But let us for the moment break out of the differences which our concepts, our psychopathologies, and our ways of thinking almost insist upon, and join in universal awareness, in the zero point of creative indifference, the resolution of the quiet center.

In Taoism there is the yin/yang symbol which represents the interplay of opposites. The white half of the circle is growing darker, and the dark half is growing whiter. The two interact to make the round of existence. What is it like to experience both sides at once? It is ambiguous. “Am I a strong heterosexual man or an effeminate homosexual?” A full awareness can experience both, and not need to resolve the difference. “Do I love or resent her?” I can experience both and this brings life and complexity to our relationship. Emerson said consistency is the hobgoblin of small minds. Consistency demands that we experience one or the other. Much of the time we experience both sides, opposites. And this enriches the range of our possibilities.

In fact, the more you try to be just one-sided, the more the other side is also experienced. If I must be strong and dominant in all situations, I am forever watching for and experiencing potential weakness. If I must be a very good saint, I become aware of evil everywhere. If I am good, you appear evil. We don’t hate or love the world, only ourselves. Each is the all of awareness. Resolution is closer to experiencing good and evil, dominance and submission, top-dog and underdog. The more we would tilt all power to top-dog, the more powerful underdog becomes. It is the effort to make a top-dog which creates the equally powerful underdog. At the point of resolution top-dog and underdog are both present aspects of the same dog. You can enjoy the yin or the yang of opposites in this Chinese symbol, or experience it as a unified balance, which we call, simply, awareness. As the yin and yang interplay our consciousness is rich, varied, changing, exciting, not quite predictable, surprising.

Although we are dealing with the resolution of conflict, to find the satisfied and somewhat ambiguous center between opposites, I would also like to resolve our conflict with conflict. Suppose, for the moment, we could satisfy everyone’s needs fully — a world of satisfaction. Would all action stop? Perhaps people would sit and sleep for a day or two, but action would begin again. Here a man would choose to build a needed workshop. A woman would make a dress, and so on. Out of this renewed action would appear again conflict, frustration, and difficulty. Though we need resolution for a time, just as sleep makes up one third of life, still it would be boring without action and conflict. Though we seem forever trying to put out the fire of conflict, we do not really want to put it out altogether. Perhaps we just want to contain it, like a fire in the hearth. If we didn't get thirsty we would fail to drink. But drinking enough is very different from drowning. Conflict, the unfinished situation, is itself a call toward resolution. The conflict we seek and respect is that arising out of the new combination of circumstances in the now. It is not an unaccountable replay reflecting what we dread and experience repeatedly. Therapy gets the individual past the dead replay to the new creative conflict which invites growth, change, excitement, the adventure of living.

There is but awareness endlessly coming forth. Beyond awareness there is nothing. At all points of discomfort it seeks to make itself comfortable. This one awareness appears to split into self/other so that in the trouble of search and finding, it can recall its parts and find itself intensely. Unquestioned, in peace, it finds itself as one. The apparent boundaries of me/you, mine/thine, become fluid, disappear and reappear carelessly. It is not wrong to question and divide, but it is even more complete to see that the question arises from its own answer and that the function of boundary and difference is to excite a contact resolution. The gestalt opens to demand closing and the energy toward closing is in the opening.

The unified field is satisfaction, the oneness of what is, isness. Question that this is so, and you create the split, the search, the apparent need that could again lead to unity, satisfaction, the closed gestalt. Deepen the split and it reaches across to find itself.

One symbol for this is the Buddhist mudra in which the thumb and one finger make a circle. Thumb and finger appear as two, making a circle, the round of existence. Yet these two are one hand, one life. The other three fingers represent the multiplicity of existence which is also one hand and one life. In most gestalt work we find and exercise the split, so that the parts of unity may come together. Yet, away from our own questioning and demands we can enjoy the unity of awareness in which the division within self disappears as do the splits between self and others, self and the rest of the world. One awareness. It is aware aliveness, experiencing conflict at all points that parts of itself have been displaced and growth is called for.

Somehow I feel mellower than usual today. This is a fitting place to end a series of talks. You have been a very receptive group and I have done quite well.

Fritz Perls, 1959, Resolution, in From Planned Psychotherapy to Gestalt Therapy, pp.181–186

[takepsychology101]

How Personality Influences Us

When I think of personality, I think of the bitchy girls and douche bag guys that went to my high school. I didn’t really know they because I thought that those were their personalities and I didn’t care to get to know them. Our personality is based on our thoughts, feelings and behaviors.

The three components that are a part of our personalities are the ID, Ego and Superego. The ID is the red button that says “push me” because pushing it would bring us so much satisfaction. It’s the the little voice in your head that say “Oh this ice cream is going to be so good” because you know ice cream is your guilty pleasure. The Id is only interested in satisfying you. But the Ego is the little voice in your head that also goes “yeah that ice cream is going to be good but you can only have a little of it .” The ego wants to satisfy you but also wants to make sure that whatever is being done, is being done the right way. So yes, you can eat your ice cream but you can only have a little bit because ice cream has a lot of sugar. But then there is superego and he’s here to bust the part. The Superego taps into your morals and says “You can have the ice cream because you deserve it but maybe pick a sugar free ice cream and have a small bowl when you get home. See, they satisfy the id and made sure it was done the right way through ego

Another concept that made me understand people better was the way we used defense mechanism. There are so many and each one of us has a way of protecting ourselves. Repression shoves the conflict deep down and hides it from others. Displacement is directing your feelings towards someone that has nothing to do with the problems. Reaction formation is pretending the problem isn’t affecting or bothering you in any way (even though we all know it’s bugging the crap out of you). Rationalization is creating an excuse to why the problem is okay or acceptable. These are only a few defense mechanisms but these are my mechanisms and learning how harmful they can be on any relationship made me change the way I communicated and approached problems.

The ultimate goal is a million dollars, right? Money is happiness, right? Not exactly. Self-actualization is the real goal. We all need things; Some need more than others, but for the most part we all need the same things. Humans have five different needs. We need food, water, sex and good health for a psychological needs. To fulfill our safety needs, we need good brakes on our cars and safe neighborhoods with locks on all the doors. Our belongingness needs require connections to significant others and the need to feel accepted. Our need to feel good about ourselves and the need to gain respect from others is required for our self esteem needs. Finally, self actualization is the need to fulfil your potential and to find meaning. If you have filled every need, then you fulfilled your needs. But we all know we want and “need” more in life.

- Bryanna Deltoro