𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝
𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐒𝐢𝐱: 𝐂𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐖𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐬
"𝐈 𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐧𝐨𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐲 𝐞𝐥𝐬𝐞 𝐬𝐞𝐞𝐬"
WARNING: THIS MAY BE UNCOMFORTABLE AND DISTURBING SO PLEASE EXIT IMMEDIATELY IF YOU AREN'T COMFORTABLE WITH THAT. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK ‼️
If it was one thing Prim liked being in Teyvat, it's to forget the pressure and façade she had to maintain back in the real world.
Always needing to prove something of herself, always needing to put her studies first, unable to enjoy her life to the point that her mother told her to enjoy her life but gets mad when she does.
She couldn't rest — she just can't, it would hinder what she has to do. What she has to prove of herself, just to be a trophy daughter. The perfect daughter, a doll made for show.
"Everyone's watching, don't show a single flaw"
"Always be kind, don't show them who you really are"
"If you show such behavior like that, they'll say 'Is this how her mother raised her?'. You wouldn't want to upset me, do you?"
Quiet, be quiet!
She always hated those voices in her head. Everywhere she goes, she must maintain a façade just so her mother would shut up. To always be the top, to always exceed the expectations. To always be a doll that never had a life of her own, always study, study, study, study, study.
She hated being called perfect, she hated hearing it so much. She isn't perfect, she's hideous, she's ugly, she has flaws, she's too flawed. Everything isn't what it seems.
The pressure of always being seen as the good girl, she hated it. Always being polite, always showing a gentle smile, so soft-spoken, so responsible.
i hate it, i hate it, i hate it, i hate it, i hate it
As she grew older, the more burn out she feels. She hated being sensitive to others emotions, she hated the fact that a crowded place can drain her no matter the many people there is. She hated feeling their emotions, being aware, sensitive and always needing to be cautious.
One small step that could ruin everything, like walking on a thread that if you make one small mistake, you fall into the endless pit of nothing but a void of emptiness.
And she hated it, knowing what she feels isn't anyone's anymore. That the person she told her sense of sensing others emotions called it all a lie when it's the truth.
'You never experienced what I went through'
What she always wanted to say if she could ever go back in time.
'I gained this all from trauma you didn't have, I gained all this pain from something you should be glad you never experienced for once in your childhood'
She hated it, she hated it when people think she's making shit up when she doesn't. It's all real, it's her vulnerability. Why are you calling it such bullshit?
'You had a happy childhood, something I never had. You were never abused, tormented and ruined for the sake of 'obedience', for the sake of 'teaching a child'.'
Prim wanted to cuss that all out to the girl she once loved, the girl she dedicated her whole time to, she loyally fell for, to the girl who didn't experience the abuse Prim went through.
It was all planned. It all was.
To wait until college for them to finally be official, but no, no, no, no. Things just had to take a turn.
Prim became herself, became expressive, her façades were no more, non-existent when it came to that girl.
So why? Why?!
Why did she think all those were lies?!
Why didn't she accept the way Prim behaved?!
That it isn't the good girl Prim?!
That this is who Prim is?!
'I don't know, I just felt like being lied to.'
BULLSHIT
BULLSHIT
BULLSHIT
BULLSHIT
BULLSHIT
LIED TO?!
YOU FELT FUCKING LIED TO?!
YOU CALL MY VULNERABILITY A LIE?!
WHERE THE ABSOLUTE FUCK IS THE LIE?!
WHERE?!
TELL ME.
TELL.
ME.
Prim's chest rise up and down quickly, in anger, in rage.
Prim always had anger issues she tried to control, to the point that no one can tell when she's angry.
Her anger appears and dies down quickly as if it never existed in the first place.
She was in the piano room again, it was midnight. She was alone.
She always struggled to sleep properly, especially in unfamiliar places despite living in Teyvat for almost a month now.
She had moved on, yes.
But her anger, all the words and explanations unsaid were haunting her again.
It wasn't easy to move on, it's like the stages of grief.
She accepted it, that she couldn't change what happened back in November.
But a part of her is angry for being mistreated like that, that she felt it. She felt the way the girl she liked was replying to her as if forced.
She knew and she hated it.
She thought everything went back to normal after their arguement, but no.
It just stayed downhill.
She felt herself struggling to breathe again, she immediately clutched the side of her head as she sits up and tries to steady her breathing.
"27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32..."
She mutters as she keeps counting to distract herself, to prevent her anxiety happening again.
It felt painful, each night during August that she kept having panic attacks for a week straight.
She hated it, she hated her own anxiety that can tear her down immediately even if she was prepared for it.
"40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45..."
She counted again, and again and again before unknowingly sitting down and playing the piano.
Her favorite that could hurt her so much.
Duet from Omori.
Her fingers glided through the piano as she starts to play, the melody calming her down immediately as she continues to play.
She memorized Mari's part in that duet, she loved hearing it over and over again. It would never bore her, it would just comfort her.
As she continues to olay, she hears her mind play Sunny's violin, she smiles unconsciously and continues playing. Relaxing as she closes her eyes and lets herself be at peace.
The mansion was empty, but it was filled by the beautiful melody against these closed walls.
Prim liked being alone most of the time, it was to get away from all her responsibilities but she hated the hidden vulnerability in it. Ready to attack her at any times she lets her guard down, that's why she often isolates herself. She wants to be herself, to feel what she feels.
Not being wary of someone's emotions, not feeling what others feel. It's frustrating, knowing what you feel isn't yours.
but with music, it helps her. It eases her.
Diluc and Kaeya enter the mansion, the maids are in Vacation as Diluc had requested for thanking them for always taking care of this place, they immediately hear the melodious tune getting faster and faster.
"I didn't expect her grace to be awake at this hour"
Kaeya says, talking smoothly that would make anyone swoon while Diluc sighs.
Must've been her insomnia again
They head to where the source of the sound is and spot Prim in her nightgown and cardigan, clearly in her sleepwear as her hair is covering her face as she continues to play.
Kaeya remembered the first time he saw her play, it was beautiful yet sad.
And this one, this one hits harder yet he doesn't know why.
No words were sung in the air, yet why did it feel so...painful to listen to?
They waited until Prim finished playing before Kaeya clapped and caused Prim to flinch.
"Anak ng putang—"
They raised a brow but Kaeya spoke.
"That was a wonderful performance, Your Grace."
They hear her mutter something before they can finally get a glance of her face.
"Kaeya, Diluc. Done for the day?"
"Not Diluc though"
"Oh quit it, Kaeya"
Both of them take Prim's each hand and kiss the back of it, Prim is used to their gesture but she can't help but malfunction each time.
"It's late, Your Grace. Shouldn't you be sleeping?"
Kaeya smoothly asks, his tone already sounds worried as he places a hand on Prim's waist.
"Ah, yeah. I just...needed to relax"
Prim said, avoiding the reason which is about her anxiety.
"I see, well, now that we're here. Why don't we all do a cuddle pile? We haven't done one for weeks"
Prim hummed softly as if agreeing to the plan while Diluc sighs.
"I have matters to attend to"
"Well, the offer still stands, 'Luc~"
Prim tells Diluc to be safe which he nods as he leaves while Kaeya looks at Prim and carries her like a princess.
boy, what the absolute fUCK—
"Kaeya?!"
Prim's arms wrapped around his neck as Kaeya grins.
"Come on, can't I cuddle with my lovely creator~?"
Prim softly sighs as Kaeya carries her to her room and they cuddle in bed, despite Kaeya's cold vision, Prim seemed to like the coldness radiate from his body.
No words were spoken, only gestures. They both held each other as if they were afraid the other would disappear into thin air and it grounded them.
"Goodnight, Your Grace."
"Goodnight, Kaeya"
And it ended in a happy note el oh el 💀 sorry if it was too disturbing at first, I hope you enjoyed reading (?)
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