#a BL manga with an asexual protag???

[pekorosu]

haven’t read BL in a loooooong time but i picked one up today! no regrets :)

初恋、カタルシス。(First love, catharsis) by Hatokawa Nuko

so basically it’s your usual fluffy slice-of-life romance, except the protag tsukishima ikki is nonsexual! (aka “romantic asexual” in english)

spoilery thoughts ahead:

the story revolves around him and his boyfriend karakida touma, who is your average label-less/straight-with-an-exception BL dude. in contrast, ikki explicitly identifies as nonsexual. 

that said, there still are sex scenes, so it's very much an “asexual who’s okay with sex” depiction. THAT SAID, ikki is also sex averse to a certain extent... and that’s where the consent gets a lil iffy. but it’s the kind of thing that most ace people would understand, i think. the conflict between wanting to assert your boundaries but feeling guilty for not being able to “provide” in that sense, and genuinely wanting to make your partner happy by indulging them...

i mean, karakida is a chill loving dude, but also a v sexual person and so, his pushiness kinda borders on dubcon? particularly so in one scene, which ends up leading to a breakup. and it’s obvious that ikki’s not always okay with it, even when he says he is. although, by the end of it all, they seem to have come to an acceptable arrangement.

personally tho, i can relate and am okay with the gray areas, but i know some people might not be okay with anything that’s not active enthusiastic consent so i’m raising flags here just in case. considering the genre’s infamy for rape tho, i’d say the issue with consent here was tackled realistically.

but speaking about sex scenes, what i absolutely LOVED was the fact that there was NO anal sex at all. heavy focus on relationship moments and NO RIDICULOUS OBSSESSION WITH STICKING IT UP THE BUTT BEING THE PINNACLE OF TRUE LOVE? IVE BEEN WAITING FOREVER FOR SOMETHING LIKE THIS IN BL GOD FUCKING BLESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i do think it's super convenient that the “uke" is the one who's nonsexual tho, bc well, being a “prude” and constantly being pestered by the horny seme is like THE traditional BL setup lol.

but anyway, i don’t actually have an issue with it bc i feel like ikki’s nonsexuality is treated with proper nuance without it being too in-your-face or preachy, if you get what i mean? i get the feeling that it’s probably personal to the artist, or at least, they’ve done their research and isn’t just using this as a quirky trope.

the manga probs won't be very satisfying for ppl who want to read about aces in committed romantic relationships without sex, but well. it's rare enough to find one that acknowledges it's possible to be in love without experiencing sexual attraction, so i consider this a godsend.

also the character interactions are adorable, haha. don’t wanna end up quoting and spoiling everything, but rn my mood is that lil extra where karakida’s like “look snow! don’t you wanna play?” and ikki’s like “how old do you think i am?” and karakida just launches him into the snow and ikki’s like “...pls do it again.” lol

oh yeah, there's a scene where karakida sorta conflates gender with sexuality? he tells ikki "you’re fine the way you are, you’re you, you’re ikkigender" or something like that. idk if it’s a mistake or a cultural difference or meant to highlight karakida’s cluelessness... i’m inclined to think it’s the last one, bc ikki replies with “i have a dick, you know” (implied: i’m still a man) which. eh. casual cissexism but p standard fare /shrug. but anyway for a moment i was like uhhhhhhhhhhh ok. lol.

the art style is nice too... it swings from a clean and beautifully detailed style, to a very uniquely hilarious one imo. see below:

i esp love it when their noses just vanish. looked a lil awkward to my eyes at first but ended up growing on me. so silly looking hehe

anyway if you're interested and can read japanese, feel free to give it a go. i purchased mine from pixiv, but it’s probs available elsewhere :)